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kunimikat · 3 years

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hi! i'm having a hard time mentally lately and i recently found out that i kind of erm,,,,, when my mental health is really bad my brain is like "no!😀" and skyrockets me into absolute baby mode and just want cuddles and love and i feel really lonely and don't talk a lot. bokuto is my comfort character so if you woudlnt mind could you do some headcanons or whatever you want- about him helping? feel free to ignore this i know it's a bit strange💔 but i thought i'd throw it out there :) 💞

I really hope it gets better for you, I hope my shitty HCs somehow makes your day a little better. Lots of love 🥺🤲❤️oh and this might’ve come off more angsty but I promise I put fluff at the end. And listen to this while reading cause it just makes this- 💔🦟🦗🦟🦗❤️

Requests are open! And if you have requests like this I’m happy to do them :)

Also proof read but still might be mistakes.sorry, there might be some triggering things in here, but there is nothing crazy so I think it’s ok 🧍

Before you guys even got together he’d always check up on you.

To the point were he subconsciously did it anywhere, and anytime

He’d give you small owl knickknacks or a snack before school started, or when it ended. Making sure you ate something that day.

Or he’d just try to make you laugh as much as he could during then

But sometimes he’d drop everything, and just give you a tight hug. Anywhere, no matter who it was in front of. Holding you close to him, not saying anything but you could hear him tripping over the words he wanted to say but just couldn’t.

He could tell it was a bad day where you’d come in and just sit on the benches or bleachers with both in mind but staring at the bright fluorescent gym lights. Where you’d just zone out mid-conversation and look at your feet or phone in disinterest. When you’d throw in a sarcastic self-deprecation joke when someone would ask if you’re ok.

Or when you’d have days where you’d stay up studying, doing your homework, and not sleeping for who knows how long when you come in with the energy drink in hand. Or the days when you’d get nothing done, and just sleep everything away and just deal with it the next day.

It didn’t take a therapist or a mastermind to tell you weren’t ok.

The nervous tics, the small lip bites, the impulsive “Let’s do something and think about consequences later!”

Bokuto knew he was just like the latter but at least it wasn’t all the time, so when he saw his bestfriend and crush slowly killing themselves mentally (and maybe physically, he was hoping not), yet cracking jokes about it the next second. All he wanted to do was run in and kiss you until all you felt was loved.

He just wanted to see you happy again

He felt like fainting everytime he saw you giggle or laugh at his antics(knowing Bokuto that has probably happened)

Or when you and Ahgkaaashi would hang out with him at the Owl section of the Zoo and pick out your favorite ones

When you two would try cooking some dish either of you couldn even try pronouncing and it ending in a mess. One he didn’t mind cleaning up when he got to talk to you throughout the whole time.

The times you’d have to turn in your work a little late because you were helping Bokuto cope after losing a game, which he felt bad about but you brushed it off with a genuine smile saying “I can’t leave poor Akaashi with Bokuemo for the rest of the week can I?” “H-Hey!”

When you and Bokuto would hang out in the bird themed cafe on the end of the street from school. And just be yourselves without having to impress anyone.

How you excuse yourself from the group of people you barely knew the names of, to go cry in the bathroom then come back as if nothing happened.

Times where you both forget your in highschool with insecurities, voice cracks, stress, and having to make a decision regarding the rest of your life by the end of it. And just laying in some random parking lot, staring into the blaring street lamp light and the stars behind it.

Bokuto loved it when you didn’t use the jokes to cover up how you felt. Or how you jumped to another subject when he would ask. When you tell him everything you’re feeling.,

The confusion, the way you didn’t know why your mind worked the way it did and why you felt horrible all of a sudden but fine the next.

You wanted it to stop, to have an explanation for the way you think and why. Yet now you’re telling no one, and clearly holding it in. Bokuto was now watching you letyour emotions eat you alive from the inside out.

He just wanted the you he knew. The you that he had so many fun memories with. Not the forced persona you played when you needed a cover up for how you truly felt.

This wasn’t the way he wanted to confess but it was getting all too much for Bokuto to watch,

Bokuto’s tears were streaming down his face as he had you held out in front of him. His body was trembling and his grasp was so shaky it was easy to break away. But you knew you could ever do that to him, or yourself. He clenched his jaw , not being able to lock eyes with you, a painful tug at his heart everytime he locked eyes with your hopeless look. You felt tears brimming your eyes yet you didn’t even know why he sat you down here. But you felt it was your fault, so immediately you let out a ‘Sorry-‘

Instead of an answer Bokuto pulled you toward him, pushing your head into the crook of his neck. You let out a choked noise as surprise, instinctively wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Why...why’re you saying sorry Y/N? I should be saying sorry for not helping you, I-“

Bokuto lost his breath for a second as a silent sob wracked his body, bringing you closer to him. Tears were falling down from your eyes but you could barely feel them as they became a stream.

“Y/N, I love you, I love you so, so much. Why are you doing this to yourself? You know you could come talk to me, I-I’m not the the best therapist but,-“

He let out a shaky breath, pulling you back out to look at you directly. You squeezed his arm that was holding you, reassuring him you felt the same way, but also to go on. Puffy eyes and a tear stained face looked at you sternly. “Please, please don’t keep these feelings to yourself Y/N. It hurts, it hurts me so much when I see you like this. Especially since you feel like you can’t come to me. I-, I-“

Bokuto bit his lip, clenching his eyes tight, forcing the tears that were already threatening to fall out. “I don’t want to see you like this. I love you, I love you.”The only thing lacing his tone is the sincerity in it.

He says it again to make sure you understood every word that came from him. But he didn’t need to. His grip so tight on your arms it almost hurt. But in a way, you didn’t mind it as it showed you how much more serious this was to him.

“You have me, Kaashi, the team, and honestly anyone! We all love you and what you have to say!”

You both give small shaky laughs, despite the situation, the tension slowly melting. He wipes the tears that were flowing down your cheeks, kissing each one after he did. You held each one of his hand. Squeezing them to give yourself courage, and to know this was all too real.

“Bokuto...I’m so sorry to you and everyone else. I- I locked myself away because I thought I would be bothering you and everyone and could just get over it then push the feelings down. But now seeing you...seeing you so much...pain, someone I love hurt because of me. I...I really realize how I was affecting everyone.”

Bokuto tried denying but you shook your head, your eyes that were looking down were now up at him.

“I’ve come to reality especially after seeing you like this Bo, I love you too, and I want to make it up to you this whole week! No, month...year? Whatever. I’ll be better for our future. And you know what, why don’t I help you with that math homework so we’re both gonna get better at something by the end of the week!”

Laugher filled the once cold room with a feeling of warmth that you couldn’t explain. Bokuto leaned in and gave a small peck. You were about to give a small hum in happiness. Until he pulled far back away from you in panic.

“I-Is something wrong Bo? Does my breath stink-“

“N-NONONO NOTHING LIKE THAT. ITS JUST...I just kissed you without asking...a-and I read in a magazine you’re supposed to do that or your crush won’t like you back!”

Silence.

But you interrupted it with your laughter, holding onto to one of his shoulders to not fall over. He had a confused look on his face as he fidgeted, not knowing what to do. “Y-Y/N! What?”

“You’re so stupid Bo,”

And like that you pulled him into a kiss, one he quickly melted into. He made a small surprised noise, but that was the only noise of complaint. The kiss turned into Bokuto giving you pecks all over your face. A giddy feeling in your stomach with each one. Between the kisses you say “Y’know I’m surprised you decided to sit down and read a magazine without testing on the real deal.” His face has a small flush, instead of saying anything he just kisses you aggressively all over, causing you to reel back and laugh harder. He pulls away from the assault and grabs your hand. He leads you over to the couch and hugs you as you both flop onto the couch. You looked at him confused, “Bo?”

But he just turned the TV on, clicked through the channels, until he found one he liked. He looked over at you excitedly, “Let’s cuddle and watch the movie I was talking about last week!”

The genuine excitement in his voice was all it took to have you wrapped around his finger. So now it was getting late and you were falling asleep to Bokuto gently rubbing his hand in circles on your back. And his faint smell of cologne luring you to sleep.

Hey! Sorry if this is on the shorter side, but I tried packing as much emotion as I could into it to make up. I hope you enjoyed this, cause I added a few of my little issues into it so I hope you don’t mind. (Also along with some people ik) I really hope it gets better for you, hopefully by now even though this came out late (sorry really busy this month for some reason🧍) if you need anyone to talk to I’m always open to hear❤️..

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sword-brainrot · 3 years

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How would Buzen, Kasen and Ichigo calm their s/o if they woke up screaming from a nightmare?

Thank you~~ You are doing an amazing job!

I was so excited to write for this! Thank you for requesting it! I hope these are to your liking! I really loved writing them <3

Buzen, Kasen, And Ichigo calming S/O from Nightmare (GN!Reader)

♡ Buzen is actually very good at taking care of others when they deal with them. He often does it for his brothers, Matsui and Murakumo.

♡ He understands very well that people deal with fear/nightmares very differently and wouldn't make you talk about it if you don't wish. Matsui can't convey his emotions well so if you are similar in that regard, he wouldn't force you.

♡ As soon as he hears you thrashing around, crying in your sleep, and maybe talking, he wakes you up right away with a gentle shake of the shoulders until you open your eyes.

♡ Buzen isn't the best at hiding his feelings. He wears his heart on his sleeve. So when you first wake up, you will see a very concerned and worried Buzen looking down at you. As soon as he notices that you have woke up, he will give you a small smile.

♡ "You're okay... You're safe. Don't worry, I got you." He would gently caress your hair and hush you if you continue to cry.

♡ If you need physical comfort, he will take you in his arms right away and hug you lightly. One hand on your back and the other on the back of your head as he continues to stroke your hair.

♡ Feel free to cry into his shoulder all you want. He will not complain at all. He understands how scary dreams can be and wants to make sure you feel safe. He will keep reassuring as you cry and let it all out.

♡ It's only when you are more calmed down will he ask if you want to talk about it. If you do, he will stay there the whole time, getting rid of any spare tears that are falling down your face. His full attention is on you.

♡ If you don't wish to talk about it, that is fine! He will ask if you feel well enough to go back to sleep or if you want to take a night stroll with him. He will do everything in his power to make sure your mind stays off it. Expect him to be extra silly but his expression and tone are still very soft towards you. If he can somehow make you smile, he will be on the moon.

♡ When you do feel like you can sleep again, Buzen will hold you in his arms and not leave your side. He will softly hum a lullaby to you as you start to drift off to sleep. Buzen will refuse to sleep until he makes sure you are sleeping peacefully. He doesn't want you to have to deal with nightmares alone. Not anymore.

♡ Honestly, if you are rolling around a lot and wake up Kasen, he will be pretty annoyed at first. His hair will be a mess, there will be eye bags from exhaustion, and he will be confused and rather angry. He would think you were still awake but just couldn't get comfortable.

♡ However, as soon as he sees you are asleep and whimpering... He panics. Kasen has never had to deal with someone with nightmares before! He really isn't sure if it's safe to wake up someone from a nightmare or if it would make things worse. Kasen would call out to you after much argument in his head about his decisions.

♡ As soon as you scream and wake up, he is startled to say the least. He shoots back and looks at you totally dumbfounded.

♡ He will recover quickly and gently tuck some of your hair behind your ear. Gently dapping a cloth onto your face to dry the sweat.

♡ "My word, I thought that brute, Onimaru, came into your dream and started to haunt my dear master. I wasn't sure what to do!" He would jest, trying to make you smile even a little.

♡ Kasen isn't the best at comforting. He cares a lot! But actually acting in the moment, he isn't good about. His master was all about elegance, not kindness (quite far from it, if we are being honest).

♡ If you start to cry, he will be startled and try to wipe away the tears away with his sleeve.

♡ "My dear, please do not cry. It breaks my heart. Come now, stand up. We are getting tea."

♡ He would gently take your hand and lead you to the kitchen where he will make you either peppermint, chamomile, or lavender tea for you to drink and relax to.

♡ All the while he is making it, he will ask you questions about what scared you so much. He really wants to help and offer any advice he can. He doesn't exactly understand that dreams aren't something you can solve through one conversation.

♡ After the tea is done, he will sit with you and drink with you. He will continue to try to ask you questions and understand your dream. If you feel uncomfortable, please tell him and he will stop. "I apologize. I merely was trying to help but I see it's still uncomfortable to talk about."

♡ He won't ask anymore until you talk to him first about it. Kasen doesn't want to push you over the edge and make you feel unsafe. He truly does want to help you. He will go seek help from the other swords (older brother swords) after and try to learn what exactly he should do when someone has a bad nightmare like that. He will make sure to teach himself the proper way to care for your emotions!! He might not be the most affection person but he will really try in that moment! He wants to make sure you aren't alone.

♡ Once you two go back to your room, he will sit next to you as you lay down and start to read to you. It will be mostly poetry. He will make sure it's nothing grim and just positive literature. His voice will be the most soothing he can make it and his hand gently brushing your hair as you lay in bed trying to doze off.

♡ Most likely will be too afraid to sleep that night and will just be up all night. Even if you don't have another nightmare. The next morning, you are getting tea and breakfast in bed. He will spoil you and he will look exhausted from two hours of sleep

♡ Ichigo is another sword that knows how to deal with nightmares fairly well. He has many brothers and a good handful of them have pretty bad nightmares. Along with his brothers, Ichigo also gets night terrors from time to time. He doesn't show it outwardly though. He is suppose to be the big, strong brother. He is suppose to keep a princely appearance to the citadel. So most times he will have shortness of breath and go for a walk in the woods to calm down. Maybe even cry a little

♡ Ichigo is a very light sleeper. So as soon as he felt even slight abnormal movement, he begins to wake up. It isn't until you scream does he shoot up and quickly embrace you into his arms.

♡ He is the most calm out of everyone. He will softly tell you to wake up, and start rocking you back and forth in his arms once you do.

♡ "It's okay now... You got out of the dream, you are safe. I will make sure nothing hurts you. Just let out all your worries, I got you now." He will tell you with a smile on face as he gives you soft kisses on the forehead.

♡ His hand will softly rub circles on your back. He will let you cry, scream, anything. He is there. He isn't going to let you go until you are calm and no longer crying.

♡ Once you do stop crying, Ichigo will pull away slightly and let you see his smile. "That must be a frightening dream, would you like to talk about it?" He will pull out a handkerchief and dab away the water that the tears left behind. Even letting you borrow it to clean yourself up.

♡ If you feel safe to speak about it, he will take you out into the forest for some fresh air. He will offer to carry you on his back so you can relax and enjoy the view. He won't make you though.

♡ He will listen to all your worries, holding your hand all the way. His thumb gently stroking the back of your hand in comfort.

♡ Even if you don't feel like speaking about it, he takes you out there for air and to see the stars through the trees.

♡ "You are not weak to be afraid of the things that haunt you in your dreams. I know it's scary but you did very well. One day those things will no longer haunt your mind. I'm proud of you for waking up from it. Remember that those dreams are just the worst thing your brain thought of to cause you distress. You are so much stronger than it. You will prove to them that even with this fear, you can still wake up and keep going."

♡ He will lean over and give your forehead another peck. He truly is proud of you for getting through it. Anytime you have one, he will make sure to always comfort you, no matter what.

♡ Ichigo may still hide his night terrors from you for a while but once he feels like he can safely drop the act and have you still love him for him, along with all the darker parts of him... He will open up and show you that he can be just as scared as you when he gets a dream like that. He will never think of you as weak. It is quite the opposite and admires how strong you are to fight those dreams and keep going.

♡ When you both return to the bedroom, he is tucking you in and giving your face a bunch of soft kisses to make you smile. He will tell you how much he loves and adores you. How you are truly the light of his world.

♡ Ichigo will gently caress your back as he lets you rest your head on him. Slowly falling asleep together for a finally peaceful sleep with each other in arms.

#Touken Ranbu #Touken Danshi #Tourabu #Touken Ranbu Headcanons #Touken Ranbu Imagines #Touken Ranbu x Reader #TKRB #TKRB Headcanons #TKRB Imagines #TKRB x Reader #Buzen Gou #Buzen Gou x Reader #Kasen Kanesada #Kasen Kanesada x Reader #Ichigo Hitofuri #Ichigo Hitofuri x Reader

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hornyforfictionalpeople · 3 years

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hi there! i just wanna say that i love your writing and it would make me so happy if you could do a george weasley x ravenclaw!reader smut. just one where it’s both their first time and it’s kinda awkward on both sides but pretty fluffy too. thank you! :)

A Night of Firsts

A/N: AAAH MY FIRST REQUEST! thank you so much for requesting and you’re too sweet! i did take some creative liberty with this so i hope you don’t mind :) and oml this is my first smut so i’m sorry if it took a bit, i didn’t want it to be pure shit 😅 also i used she/her pronouns but if you were requesting for gender neutral or he/him pronouns please feel free to tell me! i tried looking for any mistakes but i wanted to get this out ASAP. also my requests/inbox are open so please request i pinned the post with my rules on them!

Pairing: George Weasley x ravenclaw!femreader

Warnings: smut (first time between characters) fluff, and a healthy dose of awkward! 😌

You two have been together for a few months, fairly new but the soft caresses and warm snuggles in the dark made it feel longer than that. Every soft kiss that came with sweet promises was true bliss to your ears. Sure you haven’t been together very long and yes no one expected the notorious prankster to get with a more goal-oriented Ravenclaw but so what? You two had it deep for each other, plain and simple.

You were walking down the halls, deep in thought and making your way to Potions, a class you didn’t want to miss. But very probable detention was the least of your worries, not with this tension between you and George. Now unlike the other squealing, over-sharing girls in your dorm who talked way too loud about their sexual escapades. You had your fair share of kisses, wandering hands that never went below the belt (much to your dismay) but it was uncharted waters, a whole new ordeal you have yet to experience. It’s not that you or George was never in the “mood” per se, but two virgins trying to say they want to “do it” ends with a lot of beating around the bush.

But you have finally had it, this pent up sexual frustration was not helping your ever-working brain. And the constant teasing and jaunts of your fellow dormmates of “Y/N it’s such an experience you’re really missing out” or “Y/N I’ve been with his twin and his was exceptionally sized”.

But teases aside you had a class to attend, you thought as you sat in your designated seat towards the back of the room where you could see a mop of long ginger hair in the seat beside yours.

“Hey, darling what’s got your knickers in a twist?” George muttered in your ear as you plopped down in your seat.

“W-what?!” your voice raising an octave with your shock. Red starting to creep around your neck.

“Love are you okay? You walked in and you looked angsty.” George questioned you.

“N-no I’m fine, really Georgie I am just uh girls in my dorm kept me up all night. Just a bit tired is all.” I mean what else were you supposed to tell your boyfriend, that you were heavily lusting over him and wanted him to finally have sex with you? Not a great conversation starter. “Just shush and eyes up front George, I swear I’m fine.”

“Whatever you say love.” and with that, you opened up your potions textbook, desperately trying to pay attention to the droning tones of Professor Snape.

——————————-

God that was the longest class of my life, you thought as you packed everything into your bookbag.

“You know love if you’re up for it, we can always skip the next class you look a bit tired.” George suggested, eyes searching your face in worry.

Oh god this is embarrassing, I really can’t hide my thoughts easily it seems, you huffed in thought. “You know what George why not? W-we have something to uh discuss anyways.” you replied absentmindedly.

“We do? What is it? New prank idea? A cool invention that can potentially harm someone? Wait! This isn’t the “I think we should see other people conversation” is it? PleaseY/NwhateverIdidIcanmakeituptoyo- *mpfh*”

“Georgie please stop speculating and running your mouth, we are not breaking up anytime in the foreseeable future okay? So please calm down I’m not talking about that, i-it’s er something else okay?” you hastily explained whilst covering George’s mouth with your hand. “J-just come on.” you stutter out moving your hand from his mouth to now his wrist, tugging him out the classroom and down the corridor to your dorm.

“Okay so what is the secret you’ve been dying to tell me?” George wonders aloud as he jumps onto your bed. “Now come on Y/N spill.”

“I-I think no I uh believe that we should uh you know George uhm we should takethenextstepinourrelationship. AndbesidesI’monthepotionsoIwon’tgetpregnantoranythingyouknow? Oh thank god that was good to get out I’ve been holding that in for far too long.” you rush out all in one breath.

“Y-you mean s-sex?” George questioned, a rapidly deepening bright red settling upon his face.

“I mean yes I’m very ready but I really won’t try anything u-unless you would want to as well of course and I really don’t want to force you into anything really but I mean if say I’m ready and your ready and uh we are ready together-”

“Love,” George says as he rises from the bed to walk next to you and massage your arms - finally understanding, “We can but only if you’re ready alright? Just tell me clearly.”

“George I really want to.” you softly murmur as his hands start trailing towards your shoulders, curling a tendril of Y/H/C around his finger.

“Okay uhm, this is also my first time so uh if something hurts or you don’t like it just uh t-tell me to stop okay?” he says as he trails soft kisses down your throat, stripping you of your robes and undershirt.

His warm breath was making your skin overheat as he made a path down your body with his lips. Goodness the girls were right, I really was missing out, you thought as George started sucking deep bruises on your clavicle. He tentatively looked up at you as he made his way to your chest and a small nod from you egged him on. His long fingers slipping around your sides to unclasp your bra, slowly removing it from your body so he can commit every expanse of your body to memory. Each curve and soft arch were devoured by his eyes.

Continuing his journey exploring your crevices, he leaned down further towards your breast and cautiously started to feel around, listening for every small moan or quick breath that indicated he was doing something right. Replacing his hands with his mouth, he slowly led a path down your collarbone to the valley of your breasts, littering kisses all over your bust.

Stopping just below your hips, he slowly makes work of your trousers - slowly sliding them down along with your underwear and taking in the gorgeous view beneath him.

“Goodness darling, you’re stunning.” he murmurs as he leans down all the way positioning himself right at your all ready slick entrance. “I-I’ll just go really slow and uh pinch my wrist if it’s too much, okay love?”

He continues with a nod from you, his movements slow and unsure as he sheathes himself inside of you. Inch by tanalyzingly slow inch, listening for every wince of uncomfort or gasp of pleasure. He stills himself halfway in when he hears your sharp intake of breath.

“Babe you have to loosen up or it will hurt worse okay?” he murmurs softly, stroking your hair in attempt of soothing you. “J-just go in a-all the way. I-It doesn’t hurt that much.”

“Okay love, just breathe.” he answers as he bottoms out in you, filling you to the brim with his length. Heavy, wanting pants escape from the both of you as George experimentally pulls out a little and pushes back in.

Seeing your pleasure in his actions he starts a pace, blissfully pausing every time he presses inside of you. Eye rolling back into your head with each cautious thrust, your fingers tangle in George’s soft hair, wanting to feel any part of him you can.

As he picks up his thrusting, his big hands come to wrap around your waist and up to your chest, carefulling pulling and tweaking each breast with fevor. Both of you in a newly discovered state of euphoria. Bodies tangling together, writhing with sexual content.

Each moan of yours egging George on, closer and closer to both of yours peaks. His hand cautiously moving towards your mound, slowling finding and circling your clit with pure luck. His hips and fingers work harder, desperate to get both you and him to your sweet releases.

Each flick of his fingers, thrust of his hips, and your adamant tugs on his hair makes something snap gloriously within both of you. A flowing stream finally let free as you both reach your highs. Pleasure overwhelming the both of you in waves, twitching legs pulling tighter around each other. Bodies in a thin layer of sweat due and both heads of hair in disarray.

George lands feather-light pecks on your neck as you both come down from your peaks. He slowly hikes you up onto his torso, sinking down under the covers in exhaustion. Holding you tight like a lifeline. Stroking your hair in weary circles, breaths mixing together and softening as your tiredness overcame you.

#george weasley x you #george weasley x reader #george weasley smut #george weasley #george weasley fanfiction

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twisted-in-wonderland-jay · 3 years

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I saw you change your username to “Sebek Stan” (Beautiful!)

First. Does that mean he’s best boy?

Second can I request some fluff wholesome headcanons on dating this knight in shining armor.

As of right now yes he is indeed best boy

This will be the last post for a bit (July 2-6) because I’ll be away. I also have a gift for everyone in the next post.

Here are some general wholesome headcanons for our knight in shining armor!

He gets jealous very easily

If he gets a bit jealous sometimes he may or may not growl

If you let him know that you don’t particularly like that he talks about Malleus so much he’ll tone it down to 10%, although this is like the second hardest thing he’s ever done

In case you’re curious the first hardest was confessing to you

He is very sweet and never controlling never forcing you to go anywhere or do anything you don’t want to do

Although he might be a little bit grumpy if you decide you don’t want to ever do anything…

He takes care of you when you’re studying or working telling you to take breaks getting you a drink and a snack all of that

Strangely enough his hobby is hand to hand combat but his hands are very soft

he gets very intimidated when you instigate something even slightly affectionate such as holding his hand

But after a while he’s okay with holding your hand in public but he gets very embarrassed if he sees anyone looking

His hands are usually very cold

Sometimes if you’re in a larger crowd like a magic shift tournament so hold your hand out of nervousness because one he doesn’t want to lose you

However despite him being very flustered when you instigate any affection he is not afraid to stand up and tell someone to back off if he doesn’t like them, he’ll either a stand between you two or B take your hand

It’s adorable anytime he properly hold your hand tightly because you can definitely tell that he really loves you

He’s very clingy despite being shy with love

The cheek or base of your neck is his favorite place to kiss you. Once you guys are together he’s very clingy wether it’s in public or private. But mostly in public, because he’s worried about other guys. He’ll usually ask to hold hands when out and about, but only if you want to, he doesn’t want to to feel like he’s limiting your free will. He also likes the hand on back because he can move his hand up and pull your cheek or neck closer to him and kiss it. Small pecks.

He likes to be kissed on his cheek, but he also loves being kissed on the shoulders because of his broad shoulders. It gives him confidence and a wonderful feeling of love, because it’s sort of feels like a complement.

If you guys ever decide to get married it would be a very medieval wedding, you have to wear a crown I don’t make the rules he does.

After about two months of being together he already wants to introduce you to his mom.

His love language is “words of affirmation” in turn he really likes to give “act of service”

You can definitely tell when he’s in the moment on a date because sometimes he’ll recite a poem he read in a poetry book or a romantic line he read in a book.

I’m not gonna lie the entire time I was writing this for some reason my brain went Sebek… Jack??? That’s what you said right?

#twisted wonderland #diasmonia #sebek zigvolt

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eastasianfeelings · 3 years

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couple things: Jooheon

Summary: Jooheon tries to bake you a dessert. Why? Because he feels like he needs to.

— requested by Anonymous: “oh your writing is so good <3 i love it a lot esp your jealousy series ^^ would it be ok if you wrote something domestic for monsta x? like a house husband or smth concept lol, for whichever of the members ^^”

Author’s note: sorry this took so long! OTL

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: a tiny bit of angst that gets resolved immediately through communication because my soul is Allergic To Angst

One Friday evening, you look up from your work laptop and sniff the air. “Heony? Is something burning?”

There’s no response. Ominous.

You save your work, lock your computer and get up from your desk to investigate the burning smell.

It’s dark out; you didn’t realize how much time had passed since your last break. There seems to be some kind of noise coming from the kitchen, and you head there.

“Jooheon-ah, are you — ?” You round the corner and stop, surprised. “Oh, hi Kihyunie! When did you get here… what’s going on?”

Jooheon and Kihyun look up from whatever they’re doing with the oven, which, judging by their distressed expressions and the smell in the air, isn’t going very well. Jooheon’s in a squatting stance, holding the oven door open, while Kihyun seems to be trying to extract something with tongs and an oven mitt.

“Wait, nuna!” Jooheon stands and lets go of the oven door. “It’s not ready yet — ”

“Hey, don’t let go!” Kihyun yelps as he yanks his hands back just in time.

“Be careful, guys.” You enter the messy kitchen and reach for Kihyun’s hands. “You okay, Kihyun-ah?”

“Yeah,” he says sheepishly, letting you remove the oven mitt and inspect his hands. “Sorry, I should’ve said hi when I got here a while ago.”

“It’s okay, I was probably in a meeting anyway.” You pat his hands before letting go and moving to Jooheon’s side. “Heony, what’s going on?”

His bottom lip is starting to stick out. “This was supposed to be a surprise.”

“What’s ‘this’?” You crouch down to look into the oven door.

Jooheon tugs you back to your feet and tucks you into his side. “Wait! It’s not done yet.”

You can’t help smiling at his pout. “It kind of smells done, Jooheon-ah.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Kihyun says, “um, we thought your skillet was oven-proof.”

“You… burned my skillet?”

“I’ll buy you a new one, nuna,” Jooheon says promptly.

You chuckle. “You don’t have to. Just tell me what you were trying to do.”

He squirms. “Nothing, really.”

“Nothing, really?” You raise an eyebrow, then turn to Kihyun. “Hey, Kiki, want to tell me what Jooheon called you over for?”

“Okay, fine.” Jooheon tugs you back to face him before Kihyun can answer. “I was trying to bake you a dessert, all right? Don’t laugh.”

“A dessert?” you repeat, surprised. “Why?”

He flushes a little and looks away. “You’ve been working overtime all week… I just wanted to do something for you while I’m home from tour.”

Wow. You’re touched. “Thank you, Heony.” You peck his cheek. “You know you don’t have to do anything for me, right? Just being here is enough.”

Shyly, he meets your eyes. “But I want to.”

Smiling, your heart full, you give him another kiss, this time on the lips. He responds eagerly enough that Kihyun decides to give a light cough to remind you of his presence.

You pull back from Jooheon and look round at Kihyun. “Right, so, you’re here to provide baking expertise, Kihyun-ah?”

“I didn’t know he wanted to bake,” he says immediately. “I mean, I’m an okay cook, but I’m not a baker. I wouldn’t have touched your pans if he hadn’t made me, nuna, honest.”

You laugh and pull free of Jooheon’s grip to go over to Kihyun. “Don’t worry, I’m not blaming you. Thanks for trying to help.” You pat his cheek, then take the oven mitt and put it on. “All right, let’s see what we’re working with here.”

The smell only worsens when you open the oven and reveal the sad remains of what looks like a brownie cake, which probably explains the cocoa powder dusted lightly over both Jooheon and Kihyun. Holding your nose, you gingerly pluck out the burned pan.

“The recipe said it was a ‘fool-proof’ skillet brownie,” Jooheon says mournfully. “And I even called hyeong for back-up.”

“Hey, I didn’t come over here to be called a fool,” Kihyun shoots back. “Why didn’t you pick something I can actually cook?”

“It was supposed to be special! Nothing you usually make is special.”

“Excuse you??”

“Okay, guys,” you interrupt, suppressing a laugh. “How about takeout for dinner? Sound good?”

At your insistence, Kihyun stays for dinner. It’s the least you can do after he’s helped out with Jooheon’s baking adventure. The two of them fill you in on the latest progress for Monsta X’s next comeback, and you laugh until you cry at the stories of their tour shenanigans. When Kihyun says it’s time for him to go, you see him off with a full stomach and fuller heart.

“You can come by anytime so long as you promise not to touch my oven,” you tell him, and he grins and says he’ll take you up on that.

You close the door and return to the kitchen to find Jooheon staring at your burned pan in the kitchen sink.

He looks up. “Let me buy you a new pan, nuna,” he says, eyes big. “Please?”

In the face of his adorable persistence, you can��t help but acquiesce. “All right, all right. You can whip out your card the next time I’m shopping for pans, okay?”

Jooheon smiles, eyes immediately disappearing, and surges forward to take your arm and tug you to the living room. “C’mon, let’s order one now.”

You laugh as he sits you down on the couch and hands you your laptop. “I meant the next time we go out shopping, Jooheon-ah.”

“But we don’t know when that’ll be.” His smile collapses back into a pout. “Why not just buy one now?”

“I should probably do some research first so I can get one that’s oven-proof next time,” you joke.

“No, but — ” He sits down beside you and pushes in close, slinging an arm along the sofa behind your back. “Who knows when you’ll need that kind of pan, right? It’s better to have one than none at all.”

You chuckle wryly. “Heony, I haven’t used that pan in a month. You know I cook even less than you do.”

“But nuna.” Jooheon presses in closer, lips pursed in a tantalizing pout.

You can’t help stealing a quick kiss. “What is it, Heon-ah? Why do you want to buy me a pan so badly?”

“It’s not… I mean… ” He huffs out a breath. “I don’t want you to go shopping with my manager-hyeong again, okay?”

???

“EH?” you ask, boggling. “Shopping with your manager? When did I —”

“You know that one time!” Jooheon bursts out, sitting back. “When you came to see us after that radio schedule! You and Manager-hyeong had gotten the couple drink set from the bubble tea shop!”

“Couple drink set… ?” You rack your brain, and locate a faint memory of picking up bubble tea before heading to the radio broadcast station. “Heon-ah, I just wanted to try the specialty drink, and none of you guys drink bubble tea, so I gave your manager the extra, that’s all!”

“When Minhyuk-hyeong pointed it out, Manager-hyeong turned totally red!” Jooheon crosses his arms.

“Minhyukie was just joking around, trying to embarrass us on purpose. You know it didn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah, well, you’re my girlfriend. We’re a couple.”

“Your manager-hyeong knows that.” You keep your tone soothing even though you kind of want to smile at his petulance. “I really just wanted to drink that specialty tea, honestly. You believe me, right?”

At that, Jooheon’s stiff posture softens, even though you can see him struggling to keep his expression stern. “Still,” he huffs, “I… want to be the one sharing those couple things with you. I want to do those kinds of couple things with you.”

“I get it, Jooheon-ah.” You lean in and give him a kiss. “We can, and we will, all right? We’ll do everything you want to do together.”

“...Yes.” He finally relaxes and returns your kiss warmly. When he breaks contact, he doesn’t go far, looking into your eyes. “I feel like we’re apart so often, nuna. I really wish I could make up all that time, fill in all that time to be the kind of couple we should be.”

Oh, Jooheon.

You cup his face in your hands. “There’s no should. We’ll be the kind of couple we want to be. Okay? Don’t feel like you have to make up anything. You know that’s not what I want from you.”

“I know,” he acknowledges softly. “I just... want to make sure we are. A couple, I mean. I want us to feel like we’re together.”

“We are together. We’re together because we love each other, as we are. And that’s enough.” You look him in the eye. “Yes?”

He looks back at you steadily, then nods, once. “I love you,” he murmurs, and kisses you again.

“Love you too,” you whisper, in between kisses. “I love you, too.”

After a few minutes pass:

“So… can I buy you a pan now?”

#jooheon #monsta x #eaf writes monsta x #jooheon x reader #monsta x fic #jooheon fic #joohoney #joohoney fic #I hope this isn't trash #eaf original

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chaoslaura · 3 years

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Can this be for Willex please. Fluff 11 “I’m so proud of you.”

If it’s ok to ask, can Alex have a bad panic attack when he’s out with Willie.

I know Alex having a panic attack has been done a few times but I always feel like once he’s gone through it, the fic just ends and I’d like to read one where Alex is really embarrassed and Willie is just so caring afterwards and really protective.

Hi hi I loved the Willex prompt you did it was so good. Can I ask for them for a prompt? Fluff 11. “I’m so proud of you” I had an idea Alex has a panic attack, it’s the first time Willie has seen it happen, Willie helps him through it and he says that to Alex

First, thanks for the kind words I’ve gotten so far.

For this prompt I have gotten two requests that were kinda similar, so I mixed them together to create one story, I hope you like it though.

Read it on AO3

Warnings: panic attack, mention of self harm (nails digging into skin)

As someone who has never experienced anxiety or panic attacks, I didn’t feel comfortable to write a full panic attack scene in case I wrote it wrong because the only things I know about it are from reading fics myself. But please feel free to talk to me if I depicted anything wrong.

In retrospect it wasn’t perfectly clear what had set it off. It wasn’t one specific event, or person, or thought, rather the whole day was just one big disaster. From the minute Alex woke up nothing was going according to plan. Which wouldn’t be catastrophic per se but on some days even a minor accident could be enough to push him over the edge, and today these accidents just kept piling on top of each other till Alex couldn’t see over the mountain.

When his phone had gone off with a beeping sound and vibrated on his bedside table and Alex peeled his eyes open, he was confused for a moment. Why wasn’t the sun shining in his face? Alex would always wake up with sunrays covering his bed and face from where he didn’t close the curtains the full way. Liking waking up with the bright sunlight. But this morning it was different.

Peeking at his phone he realized it wasn’t morning at all, that’s why. “8:30? Fuck!” Class would’ve already started by then and Alex was never late. Never. It was one of his fears. Having to come in while every student and every pair of eyes was aimed at him and the teacher was pinning him down with a reproving look and writing with red ink into the class book that he had been late. To Luke and Reggie, it would’ve just been another line next to their name, nothing unusual since they started high school, but to Alex punctuality was a sign of respect and a part of keeping his day together. He always knew when to be where, dragging his other two friends with him because as Julie once said he had their collective brain cell at all times.

With a hop Alex sprung out of bed into the bathroom. While hastily brushing his teeth, he wondered why his parents didn’t wake him up. Didn’t they notice his closed door or his shoes next to the front door? They were aware of Alex schedule; they must have been knowing he was running late so why on earth did they just left for work without waking him? Alex could’ve worried about it for hours but frankly he didn’t have time for thinking about his parent’s behaviour. Not since it changed drastically after they found out about Alex ‘habit’ to kiss guys. More precisely Willie. His boyfriend.

Not having time for dreaming about his perfect boyfriend either, Alex raced back into his room and searched through his wardrobe for his favourite sweater, the pink one, his friends nagged him to get, saying pink was really suiting him and it would piss of his parents for sure.

Coming up with nothing after searching through it for three times, he came to the daunting conclusion it must be in the laundry. It was his feel-good hoodie, it was comfy and soft and warm, and just gave him safety, he really needed it today. Resting his head on the closet door with more force than necessary, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And one more. Come on you can survive one day without your hoodie. Alex tried to persuade himself and quickly grabbed another Shirt to put on without putting much thought into it.

He decided to skip breakfast, school lunch wasn’t that far away, and headed out of the door after making sure he had at least all the books he needed today. He always packed his bag the evening before but who knows what he could’ve missed. Standing in the front yard of the house, for the second time today, he was confused. Shouldn’t his bike be standing there? Racking his brain and shortly fearing someone stole it, it came back to him. His brother had it today since his own was in repair. Just great. Now he had to walk. Without one of his parents taking him with them in their car, without his bike, and the school bus long gone.

It wasn’t that far, but it meant he would be even later. He at least would miss the whole first period and could walk in the next classroom like everybody else and no one would give him questioning looks. Oh no Alex groaned internally; his next class was math. Right, today was Tuesday and his second period being math with Reggie. Reggie at least had an idea of what topic they covered this week, but Alex was completely lost, and he was pretty sure Mr. Smiths hated him for his lack of knowledge. He was trying, he really did, even hiring Reggie as his tutor but it just wouldn’t stick, and now he had to suffer through it while his brain was already distracted. Hopefully Mr. Smiths wouldn’t pick him today, that’s the last thing he needed.

Taking big steps to hurry up, he arrived quicker than he anticipated. Rushing in and through the hallways he stepped into the room just as the bell rang, indicating class started. Hastily taking his seat next to Reggie, he took his book out of his bag while Reggie fixated him with a questioning look, raised eyebrow and all. ‘Where have you been?’ Reggie mouthed but Alex shook his head, he would explain later. The last thing he wanted was for Mr. Smiths to catch him talking in class and getting another mark.

Even though he was physically there now, his brain decided to race in the other direction. It worked on full speed since he had woken up and concentrating on the math problem written down before him was not achievable. But to his luck Mr. Smiths left him alone and Reggie passed him notes with the right answers to which Alex threw him a grateful smile.

Finally, after two more classes he walked with Luke to the cafeteria only to discover he forgot his money at home. His wallet must be sitting on his desk. Groaning he put his head in his hands and then carded swiftly through his hair with his fingers. He was really hungry, if his grumbling stomach wasn’t indicator enough, after skipping breakfast, but without money there were no possible means to get any food.

Luke sensed Alex distress immediately. “Alex? What is it?” Oh, yeah, Alex almost forgot Luke was beside him, having zoned out completely.

“Forgot my lunch money, tis all.” He replied defeated.

“I buy you one today and you can get me something next week. Don’t worry about it.” Luke gave Alex a pat on the back and marched on towards the doors. “Are you coming or what?” He asked over his shoulder.

Alex was so grateful in that moment but quickly followed his friend.

Sitting down on the table with their plates the others were already there. Meaning Julie, Flynn, and Willie who gave him a short peck on the mouth. “Hello, hotdog.” He greeted Alex with a bright smile Alex could only compare to the sun and a warmth spread through his body, calming him down at least a little, it was a side effect that always came while being in the presence of Willie.

Reggie and Flynn were deep into a conversation about frogs to which Alex could not contribute anything, and Julie and Luke were already discussing songs they could rehearse later the day and Alex wasn’t really in the mood to interfere with them, their energy was too high for him to match right now. Leaning against Willie’s shoulder while his boyfriend scrolled through his Instagram feed on his phone Alex couldn’t help but bounce with his leg up and down. The uncomfortable feeling from this morning still settled deep in his bones and it seemed it wouldn’t leave anytime soon, and Alex knew shaking his legs wouldn’t do anything but there was no harm to try.

A ping signalled an incoming message. Fumbling for his phone in his pockets he instantly regretted pulling it out as soon as he saw the name on the screen. It was his mum and she never messaged him if it wasn’t important and recently important messages meant reminding him to behave.

Wrestling with himself for a short minute he decided to open it and skipped over the text. He must’ve zoned out for a bit because as he came back a hand was seeking out his right one and Alex realized he was biting on the skin around his nails as he did so often unconsciously. Willie took the hand in his and laced their fingers together, giving him a small smile to say he was here. Luke who was sitting on the other side of Alex laid a hand on his shaking knee. “What has gotten you today? Are you okay?” There was always worry weaved in his voice and Alex was again reminded that today isn’t a good one.

Alex didn’t like having the attention on him and he was glad that Reggie and Flynn were still deep in their conversation, knowing it wouldn’t help if they stared at him too. He knew Julie was listening, but she at least scribbled on a piece of paper what could’ve been lyrics and didn’t openly questioned him and his behaviour. Alex knew that his body always betrayed him when he was anxious, showing the tell-tale signs when he was spiralling, and he didn’t have to say anything before one of his friends gave him the opportunity to vent.

Alex sighed deeply. “Just not a good day. And my mum wrote me. My grandparents are coming by this weekend. From my fathers’ side.” Pocketing his phone again to try to get the message out of his mind, he leaned further into Willie and found a pair of arms winding around him but giving him space to breath.

“Shit.” Luke let out. He was the only one of them who had met Alex grandparents, but they all knew how much Alex despised them. Having to put on a front whenever they came around, it was just plain exhausting, and Alex wanted to push away the reminder of their visit until the day arrived.

Alex nodded to show he shared Luke’s sentiment and began to play with the rings on Willie’s finger. Today was truly one bad thing happening after the other and he couldn’t wait till he came home and could slump down on his bed and just breath for a minute before he had to start with his homework.

He asked his English teacher if he could get any extra credits since his essay only got an 80 and his parents wouldn’t be pleased with that result but what else could he do? Hide the paper till his parents found out on their own? No, he needed a plan before he would show the note to his parents and if that meant extra work, so be it.

The end of the school day didn’t come as fast as Alex had hoped, the hours dragging by and with every look to the clock, just a few minutes had passed, and it might have been the slowest time had ever gone by. The buzzing under his skin that had started not shortly after lunch when Alex couldn’t help but overthink what could happen over the weekend didn’t help his nervousness and by the time he left the school building the skin around his nails was red and bitten down and Alex knew he shouldn’t but he had done it for so long it was hard to stop the habit.

Alex decided to walk the way home, the thought of sharing his space with other students on the school bus made his skin crawl, the fresh air should help clear out his head a little bit and he could put his nervous energy into walking. The faster the better till his calves were burning. Before he turned the first corner though, he could hear someone yelling his name behind him. Spinning around in case it was one of his friends he had to discover it was not in fact one of the boys but instead John. John, a guy with the most average name and most average face, had been on his case since he came out in school and hadn’t stopped yet no matter how often Luke threatened him with a serious ‘talking’ after school or Flynn and Julie actually talked with him while letting out their frightening personas that even made Luke and Alex take a step back.

Alex wasn’t in the mood to listen to John’s comments and hastily turned around to continue his run home. Not today. It was the last thing he needed today. With all the spiralling thoughts already spinning in his head he didn’t need another person pulling all his fears to the surface.

Closing the front door behind him Alex didn’t know when or how he arrived at home, the walk was completely erased from his mind, replaced with a static in his head and he realized once he got to his room his breathing had picked up. No no no come on; you know the breathing techniques. He told himself and tried to calm himself while he sat on the ground before his bed, his bag lazily thrown into the corner.

Alex doesn’t actually know how much time had passed until he sensed someone sitting down some distance before him. The tears in his eyes made it difficult to see the room before him clearly and he could only made out the long dark hair and colourful Shirt, trying to concentrate on the pattern.

“Alex?” Willie’s tentative voice pierced through the fog in Alex mind, but he could only nod shortly to indicate he heard him. Speaking was not yet in the realm of the possible.

Some more minutes or what felt more like hours to him, but Alex knew wasn’t the case, Willie’s figure stood more clearly in front of him and the room wasn’t spinning as much. His hands were still shaking and the tear tracks on his cheek still not dried. But it was better.

Willie settled beside him now that Alex could see him. “Hey hotdog.” Alex turned his head to the voice. “Is it okay if I touch you?” Alex gave a quick jerk with the head to say yes, not quite trusting his voice yet.

Slowly and so that Alex could see it in the corner of his eye Willie took Alex hand and opened the fist it was in and turning it around to inspect the crescents indents in the palm of his hand. Deep and red against the skin, not bleeding but he had almost pierced the skin with his nails.

“I’m sorry.” Alex voice was scratchy, and he looked to where Willie was holding him, shame flooding his body as he tried to pull back his hand and hide the dents.

But Willie didn’t let him, gently holding on to the hand and closing his own around it, his attention shifting to Alex face. With his other hand he wiped the remaining tears from the splotchy cheeks and then shifted a bit to rummage through his bag that sat behind him and brought a bottle of water to light. “Here, you need something to drink.” While Alex accepted the drink with a thanks and took a few sips, Willie’s gaze never left him, but Alex realized it was filled with the same affection Willie always looked at him with and not with annoyance or nuisance as he had feared for so long, afraid of what Willie would do or say once he saw that side of him.

Alex wanted to start apologizing again when he put down the bottle, but Willie got ahead of him, “I’m proud of you.” And that put a hold on Alex thoughts because what? “Huh?” Was all that came out of Alex mouth instead from his confusion.

“I mean it. How many times did you go through this already? Even alone? I know it’s terrifying but every time you bounce back, and I think that’s noteworthy.” Willie’s thumb was brushing over the skin on his hand and Alex was almost ready to cry again because no one ever said that to him and all he could see was a bundle of mess sitting in his place in his room, in front of his bed.

“But- but now you have seen what it looks like, how can you still want to be here?” The with me was left unsaid but Alex was sure Willie got it nonetheless.

“Alex, I don’t care how messy it gets, I’m here for you, always.”

To say Alex was grateful was an understatement but then something else came to his mind and he groaned, letting his head fall back against the bed and squeezing his eyes shut, already feeling ashamed. “I forgot our date.” Willie and he were to meet at the skatepark because Willie saw some videos and wanted to recreate some stunts he found cool.

“You didn’t forget. It’s okay, really. We have enough time to catch up.”

Before he could say anything else, they could hear the front door slamming shut and Luke calling Alex name and two pair of feet were heard stamping up the stairs. Alex looked at Willie questioningly. He was perplexed as to why Willie was here but also Reggie and Luke?

Willie looked sheepishly suddenly. “I texted them when I found you here. Sorry, it was the first time seeing you like this, and I was afraid I would do something to make it worse, so I asked them to come around.”

“It’s okay.” Honestly, Alex was a bit relived. The boys knew how to handle him. Did so for years before Alex even knew what was happening with him.

Reggie stayed in the threshold to not crowd him, meanwhile Luke sat down on the other side of Alex, taking him in and examining the situation. “Hey, how are you doing? We came as soon as we got the message, but we were shopping for Julie and Reggie stopped me from ignoring the red lights.”

“Could be better, but I’m okay.” He answered honestly, he knew Luke was always the first to worry over him. But know he was worried what other stupid things besides ignoring traffic laws the boys had done to quickly come to him all the other times before today.

Luke didn’t give him time to ponder over it. “If you good to get up we can take this to the couch.” He proposed.

“Great idea. And I doubt it was ever a better time for ice cream.” Reggie said already on his way to the kitchen.

“You just want to take the opportunity to get your hands on the deluxe stuff Mrs. Mercer always buys.” Luke half yells after him and Willie snickered from where he was still sitting next to Alex, hand clasped around him. Alex meanwhile tried to gather his remaining energy to stand up with a little bit of help from Willie.

The couch was way better than the floor in his room, definitely more comfortable and providing more space for all of them. Alex was seated between Willie’s legs and leaned into his chest, a blanket over them to keep Alex warm and he really appreciated that his boyfriend didn’t left after the whole mess he had to witness. Willie who sensed Alex shift in demeanour and could feel him tensing up against him, hooked his chin over Alex shoulder and whispered in his hear so the other two couldn’t overhear them. “I love you Alex.”

Alex cheeks turned a bit red but luckily no one commented on it, Luke and Reggie were deep into an argument about the best feel-good movie, finally resting the case on Rise of the Guardians while Luke pouted in his corner of the couch that the others weren’t willing to watch Back to the Future. Again. But with a pint of ice cream in his hand, his pout quickly dissolved into a small smile and he regularly glanced beside him to make sure Alex was doing okay.

Alex was indeed content were he was, in the arms of his boyfriend, sharing the ice cream with him, breathing in the scent that relaxed him further until his eyes were almost closing on their own accord. He always got sleepy after, all energy drained from him and he slipped further into the embrace until he fell asleep after initially only wanting to rest his eyes for a bit.

Willie noticed when his boyfriend didn’t try to steel from the ice cream anymore and put it aside in favour of carding through Alex hair, making sure he was comfortable while sleeping.

Luke and Reggie were giving him a thankful smile. “Thank you for being there for him.” Reggie spoke up with much more earnest Willie was used from him.

“I didn’t do anything. I was just nervous to make it worse for him.”

Luke put a hand on his shoulder. “You couldn’t. You did great. Alex has been in a much worse state before we found him. Just stay by his side no matter what. We’re glad he has you. With his parents and these assholes from school, he needs every support he can get even though he wouldn’t admit that so outright.”

Willie smiled to himself. The boys never gave him the stern talking when Alex and him had gotten together but he had sensed the protectiveness coming from them whenever he was around the first times, only fading away after a few months, and Willie would make sure to never get on their bad sides, not that he wanted to. If it meant to stand by Alex side with his anxiety and watch animation movies (or Back to the Future five times for Luke and Star Wars seven times for Reggie) with him and the boys while eating sweets and talking nonsense to distract Alex mind for a while, he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

#julie and the phantoms #willex #alex mercer #willie jatp #luke patterson #reggie peters #mine #my fic

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sylvie-writes · 4 years

Text

Ma Chérie

Disclaimer: I’m a doofus who wrote this

Requests are open!!!!

Masterlist

Summary: After a grocery trip you come home to find Steve and Sarah learning French.

“So how do we say hello, sweetheart?”

“Bon-Drawer!”

Steve’s laugh could be heard all the way from the front door where you were standing, putting down your grocery bags.

“Close enough, honey.”

And then you heard Sarah’s precious giggle that was like music to your ears.

Curiosity got the best of you and you approached the kitchen in an attempt to find out what they were talking about. Sarah was so busy attentively listening that she didn’t even hear you walk in.

You took this opportunity to quietly pull out a barstool chair so you could watch the two. Steve was facing you, while Sarah’s back was your way.

Discreetly, your husband winked at you, acknowledging your presence.

“So now we are gonna learn how to introduce ourselves.”

A look of confusion held itself on Sarah’s tiny face.

“Introduce means to meet people!”

The lightbulb over Sarah’s head clicked as she now understood what introduce meant.

Perhaps it was her new favorite word because that girl was such a social butterfly.

Inside of Steve, a deep feeling of pride bubbled. He could just gush to anyone for hours about how proud he was of his little girl, and he was gonna make it known to the world.

“Je m’appelle Steve Rogers. Which means ‘my name is Steve Rogers’.”

Slowly, Steve annunciated every word to his daughter who watched intently as if she were etching the words into her brain.

“Okay, now you try!”

Steve gave Sarah a reassuring smile, to which she returned with a toothy grin.

“Je-ma-fell, Sarah.”

As Sarah spoke, she paused occasionally to think about the next word. Sure, she might've been a little off on the pronunciations, but for a three year old she was doing outstanding.

You couldn’t help but smile at your daughter, who was trying her best to learn another something of her father’s. That child was a daddy’s girl in every way.

“Oh, ma chérie.”

As he got up from his chair, Steve went to go kiss his daughter’s head before coming back with a snack and some drinks.

“Daddy, what does that mean?”

“Ma chérie?”

Sarah enthusiastically nodded her head as she struggled to reach into the bowl of pretzels, while Steve pushed the snack bowl closer to her in a helping manner.

“It means, my darling.”

At that moment it was like a bunch of fireworks went off in Sarah’s head as her eyes lit up in appreciation.

“Yay! I’m daddy’s darling!”

Her chair was scooted back as she ran to go jump in Steve’s lap, hugging him tightly.

“Oui.”

Sarah’s little arms were still wrapped around his neck, but she quickly pulled back to look at Steve.

“I know what that means, daddy!”

Steve thought to himself how blessed he was to have Sarah, her adorable personality and all.

He never understood how he was worthy, but he does know for sure that he’d do anything for his darling.

As Sarah giggled at him, Steve quickly kissed her nose before smiling back with a cheesy grin matching her own.

“What does it mean then?”

Sarah excitedly clapped her hand as Steve supported her on his lap.

“It means, yes!”

“Good Job, you smart cookie!”

Sarah shyly hid her small face in the crook of Steve’s neck at the compliment. Steve chuckled and ran his hand over her hair in an attempt to sooth her. You stood watching from the living room like a proud mother. It really struck you then how much Sarah and her father were alike.

After a good five minutes of watching the endearing conversations between your husband and daughter, you decided it was time to go and actually see them.

You started to move from the barstool and to the kitchen before you heard Sarah say something to Steve, making you freeze.

Sarah picked her head up from Steve’s shoulder and started to gently trace circles on his clothed chest as she bashfully asked her next question.

“Daddy, how do you say ‘I Love You’?”

He looked at his daughter, who wasn’t looking back at him. Steve took his index finger and tenderly pushed Sarah’s head up so she would look at him.

“Je t'aime.”

Once again, Steve slowly pronounced the word in an attempt to make it easier for Sarah to understand.

“Jar-tame.”

For a three year old, Sarah was absolutely marvelous and Steve could feel his heart swelling.

“Very good, darling!”

Sarah pecked her dad’s lips and then ruffled his hair around.

Obviously, Steve didn’t mind, he was actually laughing along with his daughter who was having the time of her life.

“I wanna ‘mpress, mommy!”

“I’m sure you will, my love.”

With that Steve motioned for you to come over and say hello to your daughter.

Poor Sarah was so tired now that she let out an adorable little yawn and laid her head on Steve’s shoulder.

You quietly walked over to sit in Sarah’s previous seat at the table. Steve, who was sitting directly across from you, smiled and nodded to the little girl asleep on his shoulder.

In a loving manner, you slowly ran your hand over Sarah’s small back to try and wake her.

Her blonde head of hair turned and she sleepily sat up in her dad’s lap. When she realized who you were, all sleepiness disappeared.

“Mommy!”

“Hi, babe!”

Sarah then jumped from her dad’s lap into your arms, almost giving you a heart attack from the extreme parkour she just executed.

Reckless just like her father.

You mentally scolded Steve, burning holes into his eyes and he put his hands up in surrender.

Sarah was clueless to your silent banter with Steve as she was too excited to notice anything else.

“Guess what we did!”

Sarah hadn’t known you were there the whole time, so you played along.

“What did you do, baby?”

“Well, Daddy taught me French!”

“Oh really?” You leaned in and blew raspberries on her skin making her giggle.

After she calmed down from her fit of giggles, she made grabby hands at her dad, who then got up to join you two.

“Bon-drawer, Mommy!”

Even though you already heard her say the word, it was just so delightful you could get enough.

“Bonjour, Mademoiselle Sarah!”

“Oh and Daddy told me I was his ma-cherry!”

Steve started laughing and went to go grab his daughter.

“It’s ma chérie, doll.”

Sarah then made a face of understanding and nodded her head, turning back to look at you.

“Guess what it means, Mommy!”

You playfully brought your hand to your face in a thinking manner.

“I’m Daddy’s Darling!” She was so happy and proud that your heart couldn’t take all the sweetness of your daughter. Sarah was the most precious thing out there.

Steve kissed Sarah’s cheek and then wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Yes you are! And Mommy is ma belle.”

Sarah’s eyebrows were furrowed as she looked at her dad.

Raising his free hand, Steve smoothed out Sarah’s scrunched forehead.

“It means my beautiful one.”

Then suddenly, Sarah whipped her head to you and reached out to grab your face, pecking your lips.

“Yeah! Mommy is so pretty!”

“Yes, she is.”

You looked from Sarah to see Steve looking at you with a loving gaze to which you blushed.

“I wanna be just like mommy when I grow up!”

You just looked at your daughter and husband in admiration.

As if Steve wasn’t adorable on his own, you have your precious Sarah who doubles the effect when she’s with her other half.

Unfortunately, the apartment doorbell rang, interrupting the peaceful moment.

“Oh it’s the team! I told them to come over for lunch.”

“I’ll go get it!”

Sarah got down from Steve’s arms and ran away to go answer the door, already rambling to Nat, Bucky and Sam, about her morning with Steve.

Before you could walk away, Steve enveloped you with his strong arms, your back to his chest and his lips pressed to your temple.

“Thank you, Mrs. Rogers, for this amazing life.”

“Anytime, Mr. Rogers.”

You broke his embrace turning around to capture him in a deep kiss.

“EWWWW!”

Sarah’s cry of disgust made you both turn towards the door to see her cute face twisted in a look of revulsion.

“Oh really, Missy?”

Steve scuttled across the room to Sarah, who ran around her aunt and uncles.

As she scurried in circles, Steve finally caught her, picking her up and pressing many kisses to her face as she giggled and squirmed in his embrace.

Nat was clutching her chest as she was laughing so hard, Bucky and Sam joining in the snickering.

Times like these were absolute gold for the team, they had never seen the Captain so vivacious and laid back, until sweet Sarah came along.

Sarah continued to play with the boys while Nat walked into the kitchen with you to help make sandwiches.

“You’re so lucky, babe.” She bumped your hips and you happily nodded in agreement.

This was your family and you couldn’t have been blessed when anything better.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #chris evans #chris evans x reader #dad steve rogers

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lixiefe · 4 years

Text

Can’t Touch - k.sm

Chapter Seventeen: Can You Fix Yourself?

Words: 1.8k

Warning: angst, also even though it’s my sole reason for doing this, don’t hate yourself hAhA.

“You’re improving quite drastically. Your condition doesn’t seem to be severe at all anymore, it’s more like natural discomfort that timid people have. I think if you avoid any possible compulsions and go through the final appointments, you’ll be very much okay. Just so you know, that doesn’t mean you can go around touching everyone.”

“What do you mean?”

“People you don’t know or you aren’t comfortable with can trigger you a bit, but that’s as far as it’s gonna go. I assure you, you won’t be having compulsive symptoms anymore. But if you do, make sure to inform me. No one knows what can and what can’t happen. ”

“So, in other words, this remains incurable.”

“Of course not. You’re free to love your wife as much as you want because she’s someone you hold precious. You and I both know you have to go gradually. If that’s what you’re worried about. But,”

“But what,”

“Just try to avoid panic attacks this month. We don’t want that. Just to make you more comfortable with yourself. Alright?”

“I see...”

And that’s what has been circling around Seungmin’s head throughout the entirety of the day. He has been able to sidestep any elongated touches until now and it’d been going pretty smooth for him. Even though he feels as if holding your warm hands in his isn’t going to trigger any possible compulsions, he didn’t want to risk it. And so, he’s tried avoiding the lightest of touches.

The past two months had been a memorable, relishing experience for Seungmin. He’s remembered all the slight contacts, the brush of your fingers and the mellow warmth of your skin. And the amount of happiness that refused to fall from your face with every banter, every little conversations and every proliferating smiles . He remembered the snug kitchen mornings. When he’d have his face right beside yours and pretend to sniffle in the smell, when in reality he’s just wanted to get you flustered. Or when he let one of his hands fall to your waist, above the apron; although he doubted you noticed it. Or when his hands brushed yours in your playful jests of who will wash the dishes, he didn’t flinch away; again, he doubted you noticed it in the heat of the moment.

His secretive night kisses continued as if it’d become a habit. His nightly forehead pecks and admiring smiles were personal secrets he wanted to confine within himself, the mute gazing moon and the chirping crickets. It was rare for him to have direct contact with you, since your supposedly ‘accidental’ touches included a barrier of one or more fabrics. He was more than happy with it. He felt like he was finally conquering his mind, felt like it wasn’t his mind that controlled him.

He missed those moments more than anything and reminisced the little moments of bliss that’d entrapped him. Because of that, he ended up blurting all those things to his friend in 2x speed, who sometimes cringed and expressed his jealousy over being single. Which brought both of them to another revelation that the mighty Han Jisung had the fattest crush on one of the interns that successfully made it inside the company. The joy on the boy’s face was visible; and Seungmin simply laughed his way through the others misery. Because Jisung had never been so conflicted over winning a girl.

Jisung cheered for those rare times Seungmin patted him on the back and assured him he was handsome enough; even though crazily unique.

It was until yesterday, that Seungmin noticed something off in your behavior. His tendencies of getting overly worried worked their best and he was dead terrified.

On the other side,

You were going through a stressful phase. Even though you’d stayed away from potential pressure as to not get dragged into the facet of reasonless frustration, it was futile. However, you still stood to your opinion on being neutral and oppose against your own mind that you were ‘doing fine’, ‘there’s nothing wrong’. Your studies were getting to you as well. You kept getting side-tracked in the middle of the class, off to thinking about your husband and facing the casualties; which were the downfall of your grades.

You were utterly stressed. And all you wanted was to sit close to your husband, just to feel his presence and rant it all out. But Seungmin seemed to dislike spending longer time with you. Anytime you tried to get close, he’d get up to an important call and you’d be left with your pulsating head again. You hated this.

The thoughts that you were unwanted and unloved by him of all people was making you consider your mothers proposal of divorce. It was established before the marriage that if you solely couldn’t keep it going, you had free will to ask for a divorce. It was like a contract, a contract to justify their ‘promise’ as ‘okay, they have choices’. But you quickly shoved those notions away. You wanted to give him the space he needed to heal.

“Trust me, he’s doing his best.”

These seemed like hollow, empty words. Because it was getting aggravating for you. And you were in no state of mind to be considerate or try to understand him with a rational thinking. Because, right now, your brain was a frenzy, in uncontrollable chaos that overpowered you. And it was close to impossible for one to realize that they’re being driven by their emotions, no matter how understanding they believed they were. And before they knew it, it was done and they’d screwed up.

It was the same for you too. So, the decisions of giving him his time shooed away into thin air.

Seungmin had come back home, immediately shooting you a bright smile, which you returned with a minimal stretch of your lips. He seemed rather worried as he took in your appearance, immediately noticing too much into the scrunch of your face than you’d wanted him to.

“Something’s up?” he asked gently as he came to sit beside you, with a noticeable huge gap in between. Looking at him, you sensed some of your agitations fade away. Maybe, he’s the same, maybe you’re reading too much into it. If you get close, he won’t scoot away. Maybe.

You decided to try one last time, one last time. It won’t cost anything, right?

“I am--” you started, sitting closer as you attempted to put a hand on his thigh, which you knew he usually didn’t mind, for the sake of those times. But as soon as your hand neared him, he backed away, distancing himself from you and- the hopes you’d had. He fumbled with his words, with eyes that couldn’t even look at you.

You couldn’t help the hurt that displayed on your face.

“I-I will be right back. Just need to wash up.” He uttered, hastily getting up. You watched his figure as he walked away into the hallway, leaving you alone with your negative thoughts subjugating the hopes you’d had. You couldn’t endure it anymore. He was showing signs of getting better, but then, all of a sudden, its all back to square one. But why? Did you do anything wrong? Did you ever go overboard? Or did he realise it wasn’t working?

You needed a break and you needed to give him a break as well. To organize both your thoughts.

With your impetuosity working their best, you packed your little side-bag of necessities that included your mobile charger and a few other things that you’d need. With that, you went back to the living room, only to see your husband pacing around the carpets; chewing on his fingernails.

As soon as your footsteps were audible for him, he looked up almost instantly. His monolid eyes lighted up as he motioned you to sit, but you didn’t comply. You only stood there with best impassivity. His eyes trailed down to your hips, noticing the pouch of your side-bag immediately. Seungmin looked into your eyes as confusion vanquished the subtle curve of his brows. You knew his words from his eyes, from his quenched brows. There was so need of voicing out anything. “I want to leave.” You said, loud and clear, emotionless.

The first thing that came into Seungmin’s mind was that you wanted to break up- in your case, you were considering potential divorce. That probability gave chills to him. He was frozen. You looked hurt, it was believable for anyone if they saw you, to say that your leave sounded a lot like parting. But it was unbearable.

“But why?” he asked, voice slightly shaky.

“I just- I need a break.” -from you. You wanted to say. But that seemed cruel, brutish to say that to someone like him . You saw him take hasty steps towards you, eyes unsteady yet fixated on you. Seeing him, it only reminded you of all the times you wanted to forget, to overlook, to think it’s okay, he’s not like others. And you wanted to leave as soon as possible, without hurting neither of you.

“Did I do something wrong? I-”

“What if I say yes?” you snapped. Seungmin seemed to be taken aback, startled at your newfound honesty that seemed harsher because of your indeterminate expression. At that moment, Seungmin knew that his distance with you was not taken naturally. Only a few more days and he could become like any other normal and affectionate husband to you. Just a few more days and he’d have been just fine, acting like a newlywed lovesick couple with you. He couldn’t let you go. Not when he needed you the most.

“Tell me, I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it for you.” Your husband pleaded. If it was any other time, you’d have melted and deemed yourself selfish; so utterly self-centered. But it wasn’t really you right now. Your emotions had long taken over you and his false guarantee only infuriated you further. Your mind yelled at you to not believe him because he was lying- it can’t be the truth. It forced you to think of just anything to get out of here, get away from him, away from the hurt.

“Can you fix this? Can you fix yourself?” you yelled. Your insensitive retort rendered him totally speechless. He stuttered in his steps, shining eyes staring at you with such grief that it made your insides churn. His mouth wavered to find an answer but nothing came out, only hushed gasps that formulated through his jumbled thoughts.

You felt a sting of pain run through your chest. You finally did it. You did the last thing you ever wanted to do; you hurt him. It only made you feel worse about yourself. You felt like a cruel human being, so brutal, so crude. You couldn’t bear to be here anymore, you couldn’t bear to see him anymore.

You stormed straightaway through the door, without looking back.

Seungmin stood still in the middle of his now deserted living room, trying to process what just happened. He stood there, unblinking, until his nerves reached his heart with a wrenching pain. It was all his fault. It was his fault that he failed to show you his improvement and only managed to instill that you weren’t worth fighting for. But god, only he knew how much he struggled for you. Only he knew the times he spent confronting himself. It was all for you.

But he was a failure. He lost you.

He was so eager on planning his first touch, his first hug, his first kiss. But what was the purpose anymore, when the woman he’d given his heart to was gone?

Without his permission, a shriek left his lips, wanting the loud overlapping thoughts to go away.

To my moon, I fell for you to rise For you to shine in your dazzling light And I stared at your dark-side Wondering when I will meet you again. When I’ll give you your morning kiss In the horizon of sea and mountains And tell you I love you

But will I?

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imeanshitithappens · 4 years

Text

Happy Birthday

Bucky Barnes x Reader

check tags for story themes if you want

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was it.

This was going to be your night.

You could feel it.

It was your birthday.

You had your favorite club outfit on.

You had drank just enough to feel good but nowhere near intoxicated.

You were hot, you were feeling good, you were confident, and you weren’t going to chicken out this time.

You were going to tell Bucky you had a gigantic crush and it was going to go great and you would live happily ever after while birds sang to you ever morning.

...or you would get smashed and avoid him all night and Sam would sing “I told you so” in a very high-pitched awful way while you were vomiting your hangover into the toilet the next morning.....

which was basically the same thing right?

No focus brain you got this!

You had been working up the courage to tell Bucky how you felt about him for over a year. He had joined the a little over team two years ago and you guys had fallen into an easy friendship right away.

You were one of the main engineers at Starks labs your job was supposed to solely be for Stark industries. However, after the fall of SHIELD the avengers had lost all the resources that came with working for an International agency and had become a little short in the equipment design and creation department. Pepper had begged you to not let Tony be the only one creating gear for the team (she didn’t get to see him enough as is).

You had met Bucky after you had unknowingly helped Sam pull a prank on him. I mean really you should have know. What else would the Falcon possibly use a device that magazined anything you shot it with then to terrorize his teammate.

After that you two had fallen into an easy friendship being Bucky’s go to for any and all gear he needed help with. He had a clear interest in science and invention and you never got tired of answering his questions on your latest project. You guys hung out often outside of work as well. Watching movies, going to coffee shops to read, and taking fun little “friend-cations” where you would take turns planning a day for the two of you to travel somewhere new and see who could wow each other the most. (Thank You Pepper for the quin jet loan)

It really wasn’t until not one, not two, not even three, but eleven different people had come and ask about your “relationship” with Bucky (The first of which was a very flustered Steve) that you had began to realize that there was no one on Earth you would rather send time with than Bucky Barnes. If that wasn’t love you really didn’t know what was anymore.

So tonight was the night.

You were out celebrating your Birthday and you had been trying to convince Bucky to come dance with you for the last twenty minutes Your thinking was if you brought him where it was really loud and asked him out if he wanted to let you down easy you would both just pretend he hadn’t heard you over the music Which subconsciously you knew was BS because it really wasn’t that loud and he had no problem hearing you in louder clubs (you knew that because you had tested it and tried to subtly ask him questions about his super hearing last week)

“C’mon Bucky it’ll be fun just a dance or two..” you whined

“I’m really just not feeling it tonight doll” he said lowly

“But it’s my Birthday please..” you continued knowing you had definitely drifted into pathetic territory at this point.

“I know Honey and I’m really sorry I just am not feeling too comfortable with being in a crowd right now I’m so sorry” He couldn’t even meet your eyes at this point and you started to feel like absolute trash how dare you even think about making this man uncomfortable just for your own ease. You could tell him anytime it didn’t have to be tonight. Manipulating him like this for your own comfort wasn’t something a good friend would do let alone a good partner.

“I’m so sorry Bucky of course you should do what you’re comfortable with I’m sorry to make you feel bad” You immediately tried to reassure him.

He finally looked but to meet your eyes and smiled “I’ll make it up to you doll after this we can go do whatever you want ok?”

You smiled right back at him and said you were just happy to do anything at this point as long as he was with you. You stayed grinning at each other for another couple seconds when you jumped up and said you would go close your tab at the bar and then you could get out of here. Deciding that maybe you didn’t need an escape plan for your confession and it would be better for you to have an actual conversation about it either way.

Once you had gotten back to the lounge area where you had been sitting with Bucky practicing your speech the either way to the bar and back. You realized he wasn’t up there anywhere. You checked your phone no messages. You told your self he was probably in the bathroom and it would be best to wait here for him to get back.

Another ten minutes passes and you start to get nervous. You’re pacing in the lounge going over every horrible situation in your mind about one of Bucky’s many enemies finding him when you spotted a familiar head of black hair dancing in the crowd with a very attractive looking blonde. Had he changed his mind about dancing? Why didn’t he text you? either way you were running down the stairs to go talk to him and pull him out of there.

Once you had gotten him off the dance floor and outside the packed club you turned to him and started firing off things at rapid speed. “Are you ok? Did someone force you out there? Are you feeling ok? Why didn’t you text me? My friends and I have this code word we text each other when one of us this feeling unsafe in situations like that. We should make one too. Did she pull you out there? Are you ok?” You were breathing really fast at this point trying to both get details and make sure he was alright.

“Woah woah woah doll take a breathe relax,” His smile slowly spreads across his face while put his hands out trying to get you to slow down. “I’m ok. That girl back there she asked me to dance with her after you left and you know how hard it is for me to say no to a beautiful dame.”

He was still smiling at you care free now rubbing your back to ease your panic. You froze his words on loop “Beautiful Dame” the phrase in particular ringing threw your head a few times. “b-b-but..” you stuttered trying to stop your self from over analyzing why he said no to you but yes to this girl.

“I thought you had said you were uncomfortable with the crowd I thought we were gonna go do something” Your face had completely fallen at this point and your heart was quickly following its path to the pavement below.

He put his hands in his pockets and smirked “Get this she came marching up to me said she was looking for the ride of her life no strings attached...” He bounced he eye browse up and down looking to like you should be proud of him. “...and she said she was a dancer like ya know.. the exotic kind.”

You really couldn’t blame her given the opportunity you would love for Bucky to take you on the ride of your life too.

“I know we were gonna go out to get ice cream or whatever and I should have texted you but I was just so excited! You know sleeping with a stripper is on my bucket list.” He continued sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck fidgeting

You did in fact not know that and were certainly better off that way.

You felt like crying there was a sudden and very sharp pain in your chest that had sent goose bumps all over your body. You wanted to crumple to the ground. You wanted to scream and cry and time travel back to before you left him to close the tab. Maybe if you had him come with you this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe it would be you about to get your world rocked in a very pleasant and long awaited way and not the in shattering depressing way you were right now.

After an eternity of you standing there with your jaw open and your fists clenched to your sides you said “oh.” softly

“oh?” Bucky parrots back to you. “I need more of a response than that doll.” his fidget of choice this time to scuffed the toe of his shoe against the side walk. “I know it’s your birthday but I mean we were together pretty much all day and well... she’s really fucking hot and no offense but we can go out for ice cream and watch movies literally any other.” he forced a laugh. You could tell he was trying to make a joke to get you to smile, but you were beyond confused at this point. He had never acted like this as far as you could remember he had pretty much always put you first. Which is 90% of the reason you thought he liked you back to begin with.

You stood there stunned and confused and heartbroken. Where was this coming from. Had you really just imagined all the chemistry between you? Did he know your plans and get cold feet? Did it really matter why at this point? Clearly he had no interest his being with you anymore tonight, and quite frankly you were starting to feel the same. “I mean if that’s what’s important to you..” you started to say still just barley holding it together.

He darts forward gives you a quick peck on the cheek and starts towards the club even before you had finished your sentence. Not even looking back shouting somethings about making it up to you tomorrow.

You stood there outside the club for maybe 20 more minutes ignoring the pity stares from the bouncer waiting for the Punked! camera crew to make an appearance. Holding in your tears and the broken pieces of your heart in your hands.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader angst #angst #unrequited love

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telli1206 · 4 years

Text

With You, I Am Home

A little Jaylos love and fluff I felt like writing to help get through today. Miss your love and light every day, Cameron Boyce. 10 months without you is 10 months too long ❤

Shout out to @bunny-lou for the idea, borrowed from this post.

"Stopppppp Jay! I told you I can’t right now.”

Evil, NOTHING is more distracting than an affectionate Jay. When he starts getting handsy, it feels like he grows at least ten more arms, all eager and willing to wrap themselves around every inch of Carlos.

“Aw, c’mon Pup. You’ve been buried in that book all day. Pay me some attention.”

Jay loosens his hands from around Carlos’ waist so he can angle his nose underneath Carlos’ ear, burying it into white curls to inhale the sweet scent of the boy’s mango shampoo.

“You smell so damn good, how am I supposed to leave you alone?”

Jay sighs happily as he starts trailing his nose down the side of Carlos’ neck, and damned if that doesn’t feel SO good. Carlos bites his tongue to just on the side of painful to keep from moaning. As tempting as it is to give into his boyfriend, now is NOT a good time.

“I already told you, I’m not going to pass my Calculus final if I don’t study some more. You’re just going to have to wait.”

At his last word, Carlos presses a palm to Jay’s chest and pushes back firmly, forcing him back towards the bed. “Sit,” he instructs, pointing behind them.

Jay scowls, edging himself backwards to sit on Carlos’ bed. He knows Carlos has studied plenty. The boy tutors four other kids in Calculus right now, he probably could have passed his final without even reviewing his textbook.

But Jay understands Carlos’ need to feel prepared. And he wants to indulge his boyfriend, to make him happy.

Besides, the boy’s brain is sexy as hell. Hearing him rattle off equations, and mumble out derivatives and accelerations and velocities is enough to make Jay’s toes numb and his pants uncomfortably tight.

So he’s been a good boyfriend. A patient boyfriend. All day. But now, after having dinner alone, playing video games alone, and even soaping up in the shower alone, his arms are starting to feel empty, and his bed is too cold and way too spacious.

Carlos isn’t turning away from his desk though. He hasn’t even touched the peanut butter and Nutella sandwich Jay brought him, with a chocolate kiss for dessert. If his freckled genius isn’t giving in to all that chocolate, he’s not planning to take a break anytime soon.

It’s time to bring out the big guns.

‘”Anta taʿnī al-kaṯiīra bilnisbaẗi liī (You mean so much to me).”

Jay smirks when he sees Carlos sit upright in his chair, his ears perked in interest.

He stands up and walks up slowly behind the desk chair, resting his hands on Carlos’ shoulders, as he dips down to graze his lips to the shell of Carlos’ ear.

“ʾAnti ǧamīlah ǧiddan (You’re so beautiful).”

Jay’s voice sends a shiver down the younger boy’s spine, and he feels himself biting back a smile. Speaking in Arabic is always a sure way to have Carlos putty in his hands.

“Jayyyy,” Carlos croaks, his voice barely a whisper. He’s already pink and flush and panting from just two sentences. Jay can’t hold himself back anymore, the sight of his boyfriend falling apart under his words is just too delicious.

He grabs the back of the chair and spins Carlos around to face him, palms his hands up and under a pert backside, and hoists the boy up in one swift movement.

Carlos yelps, but instinctively wraps his arms around Jay’s neck to steady himself while Jay stumbles and drops him onto his bed.

Jay quickly climbs over Carlos, holding himself up by his arms so he can hover and stare into gorgeous brown eyes.

“ʾAnta wasīmun ǧiddan (You’re so handsome).”

Carlos gasps, pulling Jay down to him to press fervent kisses to his lips, desperately licking and biting at his mouth. He groans when Jay pushes his tongue inside, wrapping a hand behind Carlos’ head to deepen their kisses.

This, this right here, is exactly what Jay wanted. To finally feel the soft plushness of Carlos’ lips, his lithe body writhing underneath him. Jay lives for moments like this now, with his boyfriend, his Carlos. He needs it as badly as he needs oxygen.

Speaking of oxygen...

They finally break apart to suck in a breath, panting warm air against each other.

Jay looks heatedly at Carlos, his eyes starting to trail, along with one finger, down Carlos’ neck, slowly dragging over his chest, until he finds the hem of his shirt, playfully brushing the freckled skin that’s poking out from underneath.

Carlos watches with wide eyes, quietly whimpering at the sensation.

“ʾAnti lī šurūqa al-ššamsi, yaā ḥubbī (You are my sunshine, my love).”

Frantic fingers grab at the bottom of Jay’s shirt, yanking it upward. He bucks up in surprise, unexpectedly lodging the clothing under his armpits. He chuckles and wiggles his arms out of the shirt, pulling himself free and tossing it to the floor.

He smirks at the boy beneath him as he reaches for the hem of his shirt too, lifting it off easily and throwing it to land beside his.

Jay drops his arms to lay bare torsoes flush against each other, sighing happily from the warmth of skin on skin. Carlos tips his head to smile at him, reaching a hand up to scrape his nails lightly against Jay’s back.

“Kāna muqaddaran lanā ʾan nakūna maʿan (We were meant to be together).”

Thin but strong legs wrap around Jay, pushing the wind right out of his lungs. He’s gaping for air, but Carlos still leans in, beckoning for more kisses. Jay can’t resist obliging him, but he still jams his fingers along his hips to loosen the grip of Carlos’ legs, gasping when the boy relents and relaxes his hold.

While Carlos is distracted with deep, biting kisses, Jay discreetly snakes both his hands behind him, squeezing him tightly when he’s fully encased. Carlos randomly bursts into giggles from the firmness of Jay’s hold. At this angle, Jay’s chest tickles his own with each tiny breath.

With a sudden jerk backwards Jay pulls himself upright, taking Carlos with him. He squeaks as he’s dropped into Jay’s lap.

“You are so troublesome,” Carlos mutters as Jay attacks his neck, nipping and sucking on the soft flesh. “I’m amazed I can learn anything with you around.”

Jay smiles against Carlos’ collarbone, darting his tongue out to lightly trace along the protruding shape.

“I beg to differ. I happen to think you learn a lot with me around.”

Carlos pulls back to look at Jay, eyebrows perked in curiousity. “Is that so?”

Jay chuckles, pecking him on the lips. “Yes it is so. How many sentences did I just teach you in Arabic? You’re welcome by the way.”

“Oh, I’m supposed to thank you? I’m sure you had no idea that I think it’s sexy when you talk like that.”

“Me? Sexy?” Jay grabs his chest, feigning shock. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Carlos drops his head into the crook of Jay’s neck, muffling his laughter. “Whatever.”

“As a matter of fact, I have one more for you. But you’ve probably heard me say it once or twice.”

“ʾAnā ʾuḥibbuka (I love you).”

Carlos lifts his head, gazing at Jay with a warm smile and pinked cheeks.

“I love you too, Jay.”

#jaylos #cameron boyce #Carlos De Vil #jay son of jafar #descendants

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hs-devote · 4 years

Text

7. H O U R G L A S S

Moodboard // Content // Masterlist

Disclaimer:

All characters and situation in this story are fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is only God knows.

Previous chapter :

“I'm close, H! I'm close.”

“Cum with me, baby. Cum with me.”

Y/N cried out when she releases, arching her back made her breast went up in the air. Harry moaned when he spurted his load inside her, filling up her warm cunt. Yet they were riding out their high together, Harry's length still hard and stiff inside her. He rested his forehead against her, giving her small peck on the swollen lips. Harry collapsed next to her, Y/N snuggled to him – hugging his body. They were silent for a moment, letting their lungs gasping for oxygen.

7. HOURGLASS

Her eyes fluttered open, looking at the empty side next to her. She sat up right away, averted her gaze around to find Harry. Y/N wrapped the comforter around her naked body before lowering her feet to the floor. She smiled seeing at small note latched on the nightstand.

I'm on the kitchen if you wake up and find this note. You can wear my shirt if you want to. I hung it in the closet. H x

She put down the paper. When she was about to go to his closet, she was shocked to see how messy his room was. The sheet was sprawled open, her panties were thrown away from the bed whilst her bra was nowhere to be found. The cushions was laying far in the corner. Were they that wild last night?

No, last night was nothing wild. They didn’t damage the bed nor the linen. She was pretty sure Harry could go wild anytime more than last night if he wanted. Her stomach growled from hunger, the sound made her laugh. She had to get out and meet Harry in the kitchen once she finished dress up.

Her legs were a bit sore when she walked, yet she brushed it off. This wasn't her first time wandering around his massive walk-in closet, she remembered the first time she was in there, her jaw hung open due to the large and luxurious his closet. That day, Harry asked her to get his tie. She got confused since there were so many drawers and wardrobes he had. Well, she would laugh if she remembered that.

Y/N instantly spotted his plain white shirt which was too big for her. Nonetheless, she still wore it. She liked it more than her own shirt since she didn't keep her baggy shirts here.

She did keep spare her clothes in Harry’s wardrobe. Of course, it was Harry idea. Y/N often spent her free time at Harry’s house, and most of them ended with her stayed a night or two. He thought that it would be better if his girlfriend kept some spare clothes.

Screw the bra. There were a few of them in the top drawer but I want freedom this morning.

Y/N didn’t want to snoop around, but seeing Harry's clothes hung neatly was such a sight for herself. Her nose smelt Harry's familiar perfume around the closet – made her want to stay a little bit longer.

Her boyfriend was such a neat freak. Harry arranged his clothes according to the brands, the purpose, and colour. He had two wardrobes dedicated to his favourite designer. Yves Saint Laurent and Gucci. He really loved those two brands, and had a good relationship with their designers. It wasn’t a surprise there was plenty of custom outfit from them that Y/N had never seen before.

Then, her eyes caught a shabby leather journal laid on top of his tie drawer, written an H 1994 in front of it with a picture a child embedded. That must be Harry.

Her curiosity about Harry's childhood pictures made her grabbed the journal. Y/N giggled over his photograph; little Harry was so cute with his brown hair. In the picture he wore a blue shirt underneath the cream coloured overalls, his smile was so big showing his bunny teeth. Sitting at the velvet chair, she opened the journal – hoping to find his childhood pictures. But all she found was writings. At first, she wanted to return it back, but the dates were written made her curious. All of them.

January 11th 2003 I didn't know where is my fault. They keep to hate me

January 15th 2003 Friends are horrible

This wasn’t a photo book. This was his childhood diary. She shouldn’t have opened Harry’s diary, surely it was a secret.

There was no way photo album is in a journal, you stupid girl! Her inner goddess scowled.

Her mind told her to return the journal to its previous place, but her inquisitiveness was too high. She gathered her determination before continuing to read.

February 1st 2003 My birthday and no one knows, except mum

February 9th 2003 Everyone hates me

March 12th 2013 Why he hates me and mum so much?

March 29th 2013 He hurt mum

April 3rd 2013 He hurt me

May 1st 2013 I don't like him

August 18th 2013 Football is nice

August 25th 2013 They love my football

September 1st 2013 Dale was awful. I was crying. Everyone was laughing. Mum was sad.

September 12th 2003 Who was the abusive one? Dale? Father?

September 13th 2003 He kicked me

September 14th 2003 He punched my tummy. It's hurts

September 20th 2003 Dale hit me everywhere. But why I couldn't feel it?

October 1st 2003 That feels nice

October 9th 2003 I can't feel my face

October 25th 2003 Poor little pigeon

November 6th 2003 He's stronger than ever

December 1st 2003 What happened?

Y/N closed the journal harshly, too many conclusions was spinning in her brain. The more she thinking about it, the more theories that emerge. Y/N couldn't just draw a conclusion, her brain urged her to ask Harry about that, but her heart holding it back. She didn’t want herself to fall deeper into his confide, she had to stop before curiosity killed her. With various questions raging inside her head, Y/N returned the journal to its original place and immediately went out to meet her boyfriend.

She could see Harry was cooking from the way he held a pan. His upper body bare due to lack of clothes, his fern tattoos visible due to sweatpants hanging low in his hips. Her eyes went down to his happy trail, reminded her of how good he pounded into her last night. Just imagined it made her shudder.

Y/N smiled of how focused he was when he made breakfast, forehead wrinkled while his tip tongue was sticking out. She was busy adoring him with her body leaned to the door frame. Felt like someone was watching him, Harry averted his gaze. He found his girlfriend watched him with a smile on her face, standing cutely in his shirt that way too baggy for her –exposing her delicate legs. Harry was sure she only wore underwear beneath since the shirt fell on her thighs and she was wearing no pants. Harry saw her semi hard nipples through the fabric. He shook his head instantly, if he glanced at it longer than intended, he might have Y/N as his breakfast.

“Good morning, love. I'm making pancake, should be ready in ten minutes. Do you want anything else?” He asked while flipping the pan.

“Pancake is good.” She hummed, walking towards him. “Be careful, we don't want the pancake to fall, do we?”

“Don't underestimate my ability, baby. Go take a seat, and sit there beautifully.”

Y/N shrugged, pulling a seat near her. A moment after, Harry turned off the stove and put the pancake on her plate. She gave him a quick thanks then laughing when she realised her pancake had a shape of a bear's head. She took a quick glance of Harry's plate, finding one with a shape of frog's head.

“What do you want to put on top of it? I have… berries, honey, maple syrup, powdered sugar, err... jam?” Harry asked with his head dug into his massive fridge.

“Berries will be fine.”

Harry pulled out his head with a bowl of berries and a maple syrup in each hand. His foot closed the fridge door. Y/N thanked him for the berries. She looked at Harry who was pouring maple syrup to his pancake and slice the banana on top of it.

“I didn't know you have this cute pancake mould.” She giggled, “This is too cute to eat! I can't even bear to cut it.”

“I found them when I was opening the top drawer. I forgot that I had it because I never used it.” He shrugged, cutting the pancakes. But, her shrieking made him jump and dropping the knife.

“What's wrong?” He asked while taking the knife, put it on the end and took a new one.

“You destroyed the frog's face!” Y/N gasped then laughing softly. Harry stunned in his seat, then looking at his frog pancake which has been split in two.

“Don't shock me like that, baby. Just eat them. I can make more if you want to keep it as a collection.” He laughed, scooping a piece into his mouth.

“This is delicious but I can't stop thinking about a bear head inside my mouth.” Y/N spoke while chewing her pancakes. Harry just shook his head over the silliness of his girlfriend.

They ate in silence, only the sound of the television and soft noises of cutlery clashing with plates were audible. Their attention was directed on the TV that was broadcasting the graphic of company shares in U.K. Y/N was stunned when she saw Machtig's stock chart that went quite far, almost balance with Erskine at the moment. Both of them are in the top five. She looked at Harry who seems unbothered.

“Polygram did that.” Is all he said, nothing more, like answering the look from Y/N. “It's common in the business world.” He added. Then her mind rolling to a few days back, when Harry told her something about Dale bullied him. And, his writings on that journal about him that made her sad.

“Harry, darling.”

Harry smirked at the way Y/N called him with pet names. He knew very well that his lover wanted to ask something that possible worrying her, because that was starting to become her habit.

“Go on, love.”

“I remember the day when you told me that Dale Jespersen was bullying you when you were a child. Is that... is that true?” She asked softly, “I understand if you don't want to talk about it.”

Harry just stared at her, his face was flat with no emotion. She didn’t know if this is a good or bad sign. She cursed her foolishness deep inside her heart when Harry said nothing.

“Dale Jespersen was my school friend when we went to same primary school in Birmingham – before I moved to Manchester. I used to be the nerd one in my class.” He said, “I never really come play with them. Since one thing I knew that time was... I have to get good grades so my mum would be happy. Apparently, some kids think otherwise. He and his friends always said I was arrogant. Until one day, I thought it was never hurt to try... play with them. I began to open up, sparing my time to play football after school ended – before coming home, even though it just a quick play.”

Y/N silently heard Harry's explanation, want nothing than be a good listener. Harry paused for a while before continuing. His head, which had been looking down, slowly looked her up. His eyes became dull, seemed like he just told her something sad.

“It's okay if you don't want to go forward, darling. I don't have to know the whole story if you feel uncomfortable.” She said with concern. Her hand stretching out to rub his hand. But he just shook his head, ready to continue.

“I became an idol in the field because I could show them my skills in football. He didn't like his attention was taken by me. He made up a story that I beat my mum because according to him, he saw my mother was crying in our yard when he passed by. I confront him, and long story short, he made me his punching bag.”

Y/N gasped, her palm covering her mouth in disbelief. “You didn't do that, did you?”

Harry chuckled, “Who do you believe? Me or him?”

“Of course, i believe you, Harry. I just... didn't expect something like that.” She murmured, “But you're okay now, no grudges yeah?”

Harry leaned back, looking at her with a subtle smirk on his lips. Laughing silently at how clueless this girl in front of him. If only she knew.

Y/N didn't realise that the person who had been talking about Dale's cruelty, have different eyes to someone who made her breakfast this morning. Little did she know, every single word that came out from his mouth, the eyes getting darker than usual.

. . . .

Harry only could curl up, hugging his knees every time his back received a whipped from someone who should protect him. His mother was out, so clearly he couldn't ask anyone for help. He really wanted to cry, but he couldn't. If he cried, the whipped would get stronger.

“You fucking little bullshit!”

Deep inside his heart, he prayed his mother come home soon.

God listened to his prayer when he heard the front door being open. He immediately ran to his bedroom upstairs when the whipped stopped. Harry was breathing rapidly, he must quick search a safe spot in his room. Although he wasn't sure that would protect him well. He locked the door, moving his whatever in his room that he thought was heavy enough to hold the door.

He looked at himself in the mirror, slowly lifted up his shirt. He whimpered when he saw the scar on his back, still fresh and red. He blinked his eyes to let the tears rolling down his cheek. Harry wanted to tell his mother, but he didn't have any bravery.

How could a father do that to a nine year old child?

Harry didn't understand.

Sunday morning was supposedly being fun because you could have quality time with your family. Apparently not for Harry. He woke up when he heard her mother screaming, his feet quickly take him downstair to only find his father was grabbing his mother hair until her head tilted. She looked in pain, his knuckles grip tightly to her roots. Harry was frozen in the stairs, eyes widened to a sight in front of him.

Whatever would happen, he must help his mother.

Then, he ran and yelled. Kicking his father in the legs, made the older man stumbled a bit. Harry hurried to his mother, asking if she was okay, and hug her. But, the father didn't like it. He grabbed Harry's collar and dragging him to the floor. His breath choked up when he felt the father's hand circling around his neck, putting pressure in it.

Her mother was screaming in tears, watching her husband strangled her son. She tried to let go of him, but he shoved her back and slapped her head.

She must be able to protect her child, and herself. Ignoring the burning sensation on her face, she pulled her husband and took him out of the house.

“You fucking whore! Your little bastard must be taught a lesson!”

She crinkled her face when the scent of alcohol and cigarettes wafted from his mouth. “Get out! Don't come to me and my son again!”

The father looked at her and the small boy next to her in disgust. He spitted to the asphalt and went away. Harry was silent, but not with his mother. He could hear her sad cry. The only thing he could do now is; hug her. As he did now. Didn't care if they look pathetic in their front yard.

Two weeks was nice without his father. He didn't come home, and Harry prayed he wouldn't be. Until the nightmare paid them a visit as his father show up in their door, looking for his mother. The pathetic man was asking for some money to his wife. But of course she wouldn't give him. She was struggling enough to work and get a nice pay job, how the hell she gave him money from her hard work for free?

Everything went fast. Harry defended his mother, but end up his father beating him up in their yard. His mother was laying unconscious in the living room due to punched she got. Harry accepted every hit, every jab, every punch. He wanted to fight. But he didn't want his mother to be next his target if he did that. He could only surrender.

What could a small child like him do? He didn't know.

Every kick, every smack, every pain. He absorbed well. Until he only could feel anger, hate, hurt. No, he wouldn't let this pathetic old man beat him again. Not him. Not his mother. He smiled through the pain. No, he couldn't feel the pain. He didn't feel any pain. He felt numb. It was like a tickle to him. He rose, holding his father's hands.

How came?

He endured effortlessly. The last thing he remembers was, he gave the man in front of him – who was confused, a flat smile before pinning his father's hand to the opposite direction. A small crack made him screaming in pain, but made Harry smile in satisfied.

Harry felt strange, his father still tried to make his mother and his life miserable. Yes, he was abusive. But a few days back, he only threw things when he mad, didn't do anything physically. He should have be relieved a little, but his little head had some questions.

Harry didn't know why his mother did not leave him already. If they were hurt, why they should stay?

Once abusive, would still abusive.

His father was acting up again. Harry was in his room, doing his homework when his father broke down his door and rummaged the room – like was looking for something.

“Where is it?” Voice hoarse, hands opening every single drawer in the room.

“What are you looking for?” Harry asked.

“You should be keeping some money from Anne, right? Where?”

“I won't tell you. I need them to buy some books.”

Hearing what his son just said, it did something in him. He didn't like the answer. Then, he stomped to Harry, pulling his shirt. Harry was scared, his body trembled so badly.

“I need them more than you! Fuck that stupid books, I want the money!”

Harry shook his head, his mother was working her ass off to be able to provide what he needs. An education, for a better future. There was no way he would give up the money for his father's unnecessary wants. He cried in pain when his father hit his head, throwing him to the corner, and kick his legs. Over and over again.

In the blink of an eye, his father was shocked when he felt pain in his head. He looked at Harry in disbelief, his palm felt wet – and realise it was blood dripping from his back head. Harry in front of him was panting hard, his face was showing no emotion, with the hand gripping a brick. How come he had a brick in his bedroom?

Both of them heard a gasp from the door, finding Anne standing right there. Harry could see his father ran to her, and yelling about what he did to him.

“He hit my head with a brick! Your fucking son keep bricks in his room to attack me!”

Anne averted his gaze towards Harry, looking for evidence. “Is that true, Harry?” Her voice quivered. Harry shook his head, his expression was flat, no guilt at all. “No, I'm not holding anything in my hands. See?”

He stretched out his bare hand, no bricks were seen. His father yelled again, accused him of being a liar because he was sure that Harry hit him with bricks. Anne sighed and led her husband out. Leaving Harry alone. She didn't know who to believe. But clearly, Harry never lied to her.

Little did they know, Harry was laughing right after them both gone. His eyes glanced at the corner of his bed, where the brick was laid.

After that accident, his parents never talk about it. Either Anne did believe him, or his father really thought he was hallucinating. Harry really didn't care.

Christmas was only a few days. When other families worked together to decorate their house, it wasn't for Harry. His father's drunken face was somewhere they didn't know, only Harry and his mother were ecstatic about the eve. His favourite moment was when its snows in the morning and at night. If people sometimes complain about the thickness of the snow, Harry liked it instead. He liked that white – soft thing.

He ran outside when realising the snow was showering that morning, his thick clothes protected him from the cold weather outside. He sat on the snow in his yard, looking at the empty streets. Then, he saw a white pigeon sheltering under a tree from the snow. It was alone, without a friend. Harry barely recognised it if only he wasn't under a tree, its colour was almost like snow.

Without him knowing, his feet brought him close to it. He squatted in front of the pigeon, and strangely the bird was not afraid. It let itself be lifted by Harry, feeling the warmth from the hands of the human who was holding it.

“Why are you alone? Where's your family?” Harry hummed, stroking its feathers. “You must feel sad because you're alone.. in this cold morning.”

Harry kept stroking its feathers, patted the small head. “You're with no family, are you?”

Then, his hand stopped – but still holding the pigeon, as aware of something. He lifted the pigeon so its parallel with his eyes. “You better be with your other friends and family up there, not here. In here.. is cruel. Too cruel for small things like you.”

Harry didn't remember anything until his flustered face looking at the pigeon in horror. It was laying stiff with blood almost covering its small body. The blood staining the white feathers. He gasped when he found a bloody knife not far from his feet. Both of his hands also were covered by the pigeon's blood.

What did he do?

His heart was racing, hands trembling, tears were falling down to his face. He was so scared.

Harry could hear his mother screaming from his behind. He glanced back, saw his mother standing there with a shocked face, scared.. he couldn't even describe it. Then he saw the lifeless pigeon again in his hand. He did kill it.

. . . .

“See! Your fucking son is a murderer!”

Harry whimpered in the corner, his father was back and now having an argument with his mother. They didn't even have proper Christmas celebration since his father step his foot in the Christmas morning. He heard Anne confronted Harry about killing the poor pigeon. That was the worst morning for Harry, how could his mother bring it up in the Christmas morning!? They should gather around to open the presents instead of accusing him of something like... that.

“I was asking Harry, not you.”

“Now you believe me. Once, he hit me with brick. Second, he killed an animal. What's next? Burning this fucking house on fire?! This psychopath's little shit must be taken away before he harms others!”

Harry just shook his head, palms covering his ears. He didn't want to hear it.

No.

“How could you call your son a psychopath's?! He's just a child. He did know nothing!”

He couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want his Christmas turned into a nightmare. He got up, running to his room, slamming the door and locked it. He cried and cried. He didn't know why he killed the pigeon. The last thing he remembered was.. patting its head.

Christmas walked so the new year eve could come closer. He didn't have anything to celebrate. After the Christmas incident, his mother was keeping a distance from him and talked to him as needed. It broke his heart. Every night before he went sleep, he always wondering.. why his mother didn't believe him. Why he did that. Why God always makes him sad.

It was the morning after the new year, last night he spent the count down with sitting on the roof. Waiting for fireworks to appear in the night sky even he didn't like the sound of it. It was better than the sound of silence.

He bet his father was out last night, probably went to a local bar and downing for alcoholic drinks there. He didn't care. Yet, then he heard screaming from the kitchen, he saw her mother try to shove away from his father.

“Give me that money, Anne! I need them!”

“No! I don't have any. Go away!”

“You fucking liar!” He saw his father hit his mother with cutting board to her head. Harry scared, really scared. Didn't what to do. But, the time he saw blood dripping to her face, he felt anger burned into him. He ran to them, taking the vegetable knife from the counter and stab his father's arm.

His father was screaming in agony, while his mother stared at him with utter shock – still gripping her bloody head. Harry was standing there with a knife in his hand, watching his father grimacing in pain. His mother could see the flat emotion in Harry's face. No scared look. No anger look. Nothing.

Harry was locked up in his room after that. He didn't know what his parents would do with their bloody wounds. He did care about his mother, but no with his father. He just sleeps, waiting for whatever would happen tomorrow.

It felt like he had only slept for a few hours when he woke up forcefully, he was dragged from his bed by someone.

Who else was if it wasn't his father?

Harry tried to run away, but he felt weak because he cried all night in his sleep.

Where was his mother?

He was forced into the car, both of his hands were tied together. His body was held by the safety belt in the back seat. His eyes were covered with cloth, so he didn't know where he was going.

He felt the car stopped after one hour drive, he thought. He heard the door opened, following by harsh tug of the cloth covering his eyes. His father untied his hand and pulled his out from the car.

Harry was looking around. There were lots of little kids here, but where it is?

He really wanted to run away, but he didn't dare because he didn't want his mother to get hit again because of him. His priority now was his mother safety.

“His name is Harry. I found him was crying in front of his parents grave. So I think it's best to take him here, so someone can take care of him.”

His head lifted up, looking at his father in disbelief. What did he mean?

“Of course. Did you relate to him?”

“No, I was asking him if he has a family. But he's alone himself.”

The lady who was speaking with his father, crouching down to his level. She seemed nice, smiling at him. But his smile faltered when he heard those words that crashing down his life.

“Hi, I'm Elis. We will take good care of you. Don't worry, Harry. You will get a new family in this orphanage.”

. . . .

“What are you planning for Christmas?”

Last night, Abbie called Y/N if she could get breakfast together this morning since both of them wasn't so busy at the moment. Of course Y/N glad to hear that, it had been a while since she met her friend. Now here they were, having meals in the little breakfast cafe near the Battersea Square. Harry drove her here since she was staying at his house for the weekend.

“I'll go home as well as Harry. We'll spend the time with our own family before heading to Sorrento for New Year together.” Y/N answered before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. It was an early day in December, and London weather was getting colder every day. So, she needed something to warm her body.

“Italy? How nice! But I prefer to go there in Summer, you know? Warm sun, warm air..” Abbie squealed.

“Harry was the one who had the idea. It was more than enough for me. I can't complain anything to him.” She shrugged, “How about you?”

Abbie just laughed, “My mum wanted to come here, so I guess I'll spend Christmas and New Year in here.”

The rest of the time they just walked about the time together when they were at school, playing back memories that memorable for them. The clock was ticking at past eleven when they decided to go. Besides, Y/N really didn't want to lave Harry for too long. Abbie offered her a ride since she would be passing Lots Road, so she would dropping Y/N off there.

When Y/N arrived at Harry's penthouse, Suzanne was in the kitchen. She bid a quick hello to her before heading to Harry's bedroom. She let out a small shriek when her eyes found Harry sprawled out in his bed just in his briefs, laid out like a starfish.

“What are you doing?” Y/N giggled, crawling to his side. Harry tilted his head towards her, “I was running while you were meeting Abbie, now I'm exhausted.”

“Why you don't take a shower?” She asked, her finger brushing off his baby hair on his forehead. She gasped when Harry flipped her body so she was on top him, hands gripping her bum.

“I was waiting for you. Maybe we can take a shower together?” He wiggled his eyebrow. Y/N snuggled to him, smothering his neck with some kisses. “I already taking the shower. Now, take your ass to the shower. And wash the sticky sweats off your body.”

“Didn't you realise you get the sticky sweat from the way you plopped down on me, darling?”

Harry let out a humoured laugh when his girlfriend whined after she had just realised. He shoved her body away gently, and walking to his bathroom. “I will be happy to waiting for you under the shower.”

And after that, he vanished into the bathroom. Y/N then sat up, looking at her both arms that now wet from Harry's sweat. In fact, she didn't want to complain because his sweat smells good. And yeah, she should take another shower because how sticky her body from his sweat.

When she walked into the bathroom, Harry's naked figure clearly visible. Although the hot steam covered the glass wall, she could see Harry's standing under the shower with his back facing her. Y/N closed the door slowly, not making any noise. She stripped down her clothes until she's naked, and join him in the shower. The way her sneaking arms hugged his torso made Harry didn't flinch at all. Like he's already expecting it.

Y/N peppering kisses on his neck, shoulder, all around his back with her fingers rubbing his stomach. She gave him kitten licks to his earlobe before sucked it, made Harry whimpered. His hands pumping his length slowly. Y/N brushed her wet hair from her face, so it wouldn't block her eyes. She bit her boyfriend's shoulder to expect leaving marks on there. She loved to claim what she had.

Her hand went down to his V-line, before grabbing his length and help him to pump it while her other hand slid up and down his nipple in teasing way.

That's it. That's the last strike. Harry couldn't let her.

Y/N squealed when Harry flipped them both, pushing her body against the wall and grab her legs so they wrapped around him. She quickly put her hands around his neck. Luckily, her back was against the glass and Harry holding her bum, keeping her legs around his waist. If not, she could slip on the slippery tile. Both of them panting quickly, she could feel her hard nipple pressed onto his toned chest. Meanwhile, his length resting it limb between her thighs.

“Thought you would come, darling.” He whispered, booping her nose with his. “What was that behaviour?”

“I just want to help my boyfriend.” She shrugged, fingers curling his back hair. Since the shower was no longer right above their head, Y/N could see Harry clearly. His soaked wet face made her fantasy went wild. She gulped as Harry pressed down his length to her centre, rubbing his tip up and down.

“Do you feel that? This is what you've done, baby.” He mumbled in her ear, “Hard and ready, only for you.”

“Only for me?” Y/N asked for recognition, her fingertips digging to his shoulder. She looked down to find Harry's length was ready. Hard, erect on its glory. Harry nodded, licking her earlobe. “Only for my baby.”

She brought his head to her, so she could crashing her lips on his. It didn't take long for their tongues to wrestle with each other. The only sound they heard was their lips ravishing each other, even the sound of the shower only sounded faint to their ears. Their body was hot, burning in flame. The hot steam made everything getting more intense.

He ran his finger over her centre, only found her sticky wetness. Harry smirked, his ego was getting high.

“You're so wet, bet it taste sweet too.” He mumbled in her lips.

Harry detached his lips from her, so he could suck her nipple while the other one being rubbed and pinched by his finger. His grip was strong enough to keep her only in one his arm. Y/N felt her centre aching, shaking... need someone to take care of it. Her moan was Harry favourite sound in the world, nothing else. She whimpered, arching her back when Harry blew air to her hard and stiffened nipples – making her grip on his hair tightened.

Without her knowing, Harry pushed his index finger inside her centre. Rolling out slowly, yet slammed hard into her. His index fingers curled up inside of her, with his middle finger joined afterwards.

“Oh, Harry. Oh!”

Harry groaned, moving his fingers in and out faster. He smashed his lips again to her, to muffled her loud moan. He could feel his length getting harder than before. His girl was trembling under his touch. He kissed her cheek before pulled his fingers out. But, her pleasure still going strong.

“Harry..”

“Not finish, baby.”

She cried when Harry teased her, rubbing her entrance with his tip. Her legs shook terribly. She wanted him so bad.

“Harry, please... please I can't– ”

“Please what, baby?” He hummed on her neck, leaving marks on his favourite spots.

Every whimper, every moans...

Harry left his marks on her neck, throat, shoulder, chest, breast...

“Beg for me, and I'll give you what you want.”

“I need you, please. I need you inside of me, right now, baby.”

“Uh-huh, you forget something.” He shook his head, smirking.

“I need you to fuck me, ravish me, do whatever your heart desire.” She whined.

“Oh, fuck!”

Y/N choked when Harry slid in his length in only one move. Sometimes it surprised her; the way her body quickly adjusted to his size inside of her, he was huge and thick, it was never enough for her to feel him. Harry paused for a moment before moving his precious length.

“Tell me if you want to stop.” He hissed, placing his forehead on her with hands gripping her bum.

“Move, H.”

Her words always being his command. It was what always Harry said to her.

He slowly rolled in and out, palms still gripping her bum. They both moaned wildly. Y/N clutched Harry's shoulder while he dropped his head to hers. She cried every time Harry was pulling out then slammed into her, pushed his length deeper as he could.

Y/N felt she was getting close, her full cunt trembled from the way Harry rolled his length. She squinted her eyes, breath panting wildly.

“I'm close, H. Oh my god.. Oh!”

“You wanna cum? Cum for me, baby. Cum on me, please.”

Harry still rocking wildly into her, meanwhile, the girl in front of him was shuddering. From the way Y/N arched her back, he knew she was about to come. In just a few seconds, he felt she came on him. He could feel her wetness smeared on his length.

“Harry...”

He groaned, hearing her soft yet exhausted voice whispering into his ear. His brows furrowed, mouth parting. He shut his eyes closed, feeling himself getting close. Y/N cried out of the how fast he rocked her, the way he slammed back and forth made her wanted to pass out anytime. Before Harry got the chance, he slid out of her on time – seeing his thick cum squirted from his tip all over her and him. Slowly, he lowered Y/N legs, quickly support her body because he knew how weak her legs were.

“Thank you, baby.” He smiled, kissing her cheek. “That was amazing.”

“It was.. better than the one we had in the bathtub.” She sighed, “My back was sore due to clashing down the bathtub tile.”

“So, looks like bathtub sex is the last on the list?” Harry just laughing, “C'mon, let's clean our body.”

“I can't even stand properly, H.” Y/N pouted, hand still on his shoulder. Harry looked down her trembling legs, “All right, just hold onto me.”

. .

Please excuse some errors.

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the-mighty-jellybean · 4 years

Text

Till The Final Bullet

Series Summary: “In a place where they won't let us feel, In a place where nothing seems real. I will hold you. In a world that’s moving too fast. In a world where nothing can last. I will hold you.”-Last Night of The World- Miss Saigon

From the age of twelve, Y/N Y/L/N, has been trained by Hydra, and used as an assailant for a number of years. She’s been taught not to feel, but when she’s put in a kill squad with the Winter Solider, their partnership is deadly, as their motivation becomes more than just keeping themselves alive.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Series Warning: Angst, Fluff, Strong Language, Eventual Smut, Dark!Bucky (I think??) (18+ Only)

Part One// Part Two// Part Three// Part Four// Part Five Part Six//

Part Seven: Revolution Square, Bucharest

Chapter Warning: Violence, Angst, Fluff, Strong Language, Mention of Sex

Word Count: 5.1k

“Please…don’t. Please…I’ll do anything.”

You watched the person wither on the floor, the bullet in their leg, spewing blood from the split in the skin.

“Please…”

You stride towards them, squatting down next to their head, you press the palm of your hand onto the wound, increasing the pressure made the person cry out in further anguish.

“Please…stop.”

They continued to beg, but your mind was numb, your body was numb, you felt nothing as their cries only increased.

You stand from their flailing carcass, and begin to walk away, but not before you spin around, aiming the barrel of your gun, towards their head.

“Don’t do this…you don’t need to do this.” They continued to beg, but their pleas fell on deaf ears, as you held your stance stronger.

“You’re my mission.”

~~~~

You shot up in bed, panting heavily, sweat rolled down your body, and you clutched your knees to your chest, as you tried to calm down. The sound of the final gun shot, was echoing all around your brain, it was so loud it was like it was bouncing off the walls of your home.

The sound of you gasping for breath, and the feeling of something missing from his arms, James stirred next to you. When his eyes slowly peeled open, he saw your quivering balled up form, which made him sit up, immediately pulling you into his arms.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He kisses your head, then your neck, basically anywhere he can, desperately trying to calm your breathing, “talk to me, sweetheart. What’s happening?”

You just choke on a sob, as they begin to wrack your body, and you pushed your head into his neck, his warmth providing you with some comfort.

“Shh, it’s okay.” James begins to gently rock you, one of his hands was on your back, the other was gently combing through your hair.

“I…it was…I can’t” you stumble over your words, straining to get them out.

“Don’t talk, baby. Just breath.” He continues his soothing motions, your breathing slowly beginning to even out, reducing your sobs to small sniffles.

“You okay?” James asked you, leaning you back a little, so he could smooth some of the hair that had stuck to your sweaty forehead out of your face.

You snivel, and nod your head, you take your hands off your knees, and wrap them around James’ neck, so you can pull yourself impossibly closer.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. I’m here.” He circles his arms around your waist, one of his hands cups your head, the other holding you close to his chest, “it’s alright, baby. We’re safe now.”

You push your face into the flesh of his shoulder, his scent was calming to you.

You sat like that for a while, James had pulled you into his lap, when he realised you weren’t about to let go of him anytime soon. He’s moved your legs, so they were either side of his torso, and he’d pulled the thin blanket back up, to try and cover your bodies.

At some point you must have fallen back asleep, because the next time you woke up, you were alone on the mattress, neatly rolled in the blanket, and the smell of burnt toast wafted up your nose.

You sit up, and look over the couch, to see James stood in the kitchen, he looked at you, when he heard you giggle, after he cursed under his breath, once he’d burned his fingers on your crappy old toaster.

“Morning sleepyhead.” He sauntered over to you, with a plate of toast and a bowl of cereal, you giggled once again when you saw he was just in his boxers, butter smeared across his lower abdomen, where he had clearly lent on the counter, during his cooking façade.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked you, as he handed you the plate and bowl, before he could sit down, you gave him back the food. He looked at you confused, but before he could ask you anything, you took your finger, and wiped the butter off his skin.

You heard him take a sharp intake of breath, as the butter was very close to the top of his boxers. You made it worst, when you then put your finger into your mouth, and sucked on it, cleaning it.

“Can’t we eat first, baby girl?” he groaned, as he watched you swirl your tongue over the digit. Releasing your finger with a ‘pop’, you took the bowl and plate back from James, whilst he settled himself back into bed, sitting behind you. You felt his semi-erected cock press into your back, but he seemed to ignore that, when he held out his hand, for his plate of toast.

You hand him back the toast, smiling proudly to yourself.

“You going to tell me what that little thing was about last night?” your smile drops, and you start fishing around your bowl, prodding at the cereal with your spoon.

“No.” you mumble.

“I think you should, you know I hate seeing you like that.” James’ knuckles were running up and down your arms trying to comfort you, but you shrug his hands off of you.

“I don’t want to.” You sulk, eyes stinging a little.

“Hey, hey, hey,” James put his plate down on the floorboards next to you and pulled the bowl of cereal from your hands placing it next to his toast, so he could clutch your hands, “don’t close up on me, baby. You need to talk to me.”

You just shake your head, pulling one of your hands free, so you could wipe your tears away that were threatening to spill.

“Come on, sweetheart. Whatever it is, you know you can’t scare me away.” James tried to convince.

“I’m just a bad person.” You croaked, biting your lip, that had started to wobble.

“Hey, no you aren’t. Baby look at me,” James pulled your face into his hands, which meant you could look nowhere but his steel blue eyes, “you are not a bad person. You’re the bravest, most courageous person I know, I couldn’t imagine my life without you.”

You begin to sniff, hoping it will stop the waterworks from coming into use, James smooths under your eyes, hoping to stop the waterfall to.

“You are meaningful, you have worth, and I love every inch of you. From your head, to your toes, from your outside to your inside. Your past, present and future. You’re the only one for me.”

Your heart swells at James’ words, and you didn’t think you could love anything more, than how much you loved this man right now.

“Do you understand, sweetheart?” you nod your head, but James shakes his, “no, say it. I understand, that I’m meaningful, and my life has worth.”

“I understand that I’m meaningful, and my life has worth.” You mutter, James decides to not push you, to say it louder. The fact that you said the words was satisfying for him.

“Good girl,” he praised, before pecking your forehead, and reaching down to grab your bowl from the floor, “now eat up.”

You took the bowl, and leaned back a little, pressing yourself into James’ chest, and he hung his head over your shoulder.

As time had moved on, the last few months had really brought a change in James. He’s become a new man, a better man from the one that he was when he was imprisoned at HYDRA. He always cared about you, but now he seemed different. In a good way, but he seemed like he was feeling a little lighter, then his usual grim self.

Smiling more, laughing more. Once you were settled, and began taking jobs from the neighbours, in order to pay your way, James would introduce himself as Bucky. He never faltered, or paused when someone called him by that name, it was like it had always been. He only liked you calling him Jay, never James, and you respected that.

Some nights when you would be eating dinner, he would suddenly start telling you stories about his life before HYDRA, just completely off the cuff. Reciting the tales, as if it was just yesterday. You loved hearing him speak with such a happy tone, and you only wished you could revel in a brighter past.

“Got any sinks to fix today, my little handy woman?” he asked taking a bite of his toast.

“No actually, I’m free all day,” you shake your head, shovelling another mouthful of cereal, “what about you?”

“No, I think Mrs Nicolescu has run out of giving me shit jobs.” James chuckled.

“Hey, you don’t get to call your jobs shit, I literally fix toilets.” You jab him in the ribs with your spoon, and he rubs his side, with mock horror. Just as his face cracks into a grin.

“Okay you make a good point,” James kisses your cheek, his hair flopping in your eyes, “well least we both have the day off, what do you want to do?”

“Well, you could let me cut your hair?” you mumble, pushing it back from his eyes. James just narrows his eyes at you.

“Absolutely not.” He says firmly.

“Please, just a little trim, to keep it out of your eyes?” you reason, but James just pulled your hand away from his face, pinning it to your lap.

“N-O. Spells. No.” he confirmed to you, punctuating each word with a kiss on each of your cheeks, before one final peck on your lips.

“Fine, no impromptu haircut,” you huff, blowing his fringe out of your face, “what do you want to do?”

“Well…that milk that you’re drinking…” you paused halfway through tipping the bowl of the leftover milk into your mouth, “is the last of it, so we could probably head into the market?”

You nod your head, as you lean back into his chest, once you had set the now empty bowl and plate onto the floor next to you.

“Sounds like a plan,” You hum, “but first I want to cuddle for a bit.”

“Oh baby girl, we’re not gonna be cuddling.” You shriek when James flips you over, so that you’re on your back, and he’s attacking your neck in kisses.

You giggle, the feeling of his lips running up and down your skin tickling.

~~~~

After your morning shenanigans, you and James had gotten dressed, in your usual incognito attire, and made your way into the market.

James and you, had fallen in love with the city of Bucharest. Sure, you didn’t have any friends, but you were well acquainted with your neighbours, they seemed nice enough, and they rarely asked you any personal questions. The city was beautiful in its own little way, and the two of you loved to wonder the streets in the evening, just admiring the lights, there was so much history here, you and James loved to explore it all.

You wondered along the stalls, glancing at the odd bit of tat that may look appealing on your walls. James eventually, dragging you away from some little old lady, who had nearly convinced you to buy a sleep charm.

Last night wasn’t a solo occurrence, your nightmares had begun all the way back, when you were still calling the HYDRA base ‘home’. The only difference with these night terrors, is that you had James by your side to help sooth you and calm you back to sleep. When you were in HYDRA, you had no choice, but to either lay awake and stare at a particular section of your ceiling or bribe the doctors to give you some sleeping pills.

“Baby, it doesn’t work.” James stated as he was dragging you away by your arm.

“It’s just a bit of fun, Jay. What’s the harm in that?”

“We don’t have the money, for just a bit of fun. We need food.” He reprimanded you.

“When did you become so serious?” you cross your arms over your chest when he had finally let go.

“One of us has to be.” You roll your eyes at him, and he just wraps his arm around your neck, pulling you into him making you giggle.

Finally, you reach the fruit and veg stall, and you begin placing things in a paper bag. James grabs a handful of plums, while you look over some broccoli florets.

“Ce fac ei? Sunt bune?” ‘How are they? Are they good?’

James asked the owner, looking over some of the plums.

“Da, astăzi sunt bune.” ‘Yes, they are good today.’

The man beamed, holding up a brown bag, for James to put them in.

“Dă-mi șase,” ‘Give me, six.’

James watches the man fill the bag with plums before he hands the bag back.

“mulțumesc.” ‘thank you.’

James hands the man some lei, and then you do the same with your bouquet of broccoli, before you both depart the stall, waving to the smiley gentlemen.

It had been a long time since somebody had smiled at you and James, you both had spent so long, behind tortured and brainwashed into committing horrific crimes. Crimes that will haunt you the rest of your lives. You were carrying secrets that you’d have to take to your grave. James was the only person, who knew exactly what you’d seen, and he was the only person, who understood how you felt. He was truly your soulmate.

You stood on the edge of the curb as you waited to cross the street. The sound of a siren in the distance, made you both look to the ground, avoiding the view of the cop car, that tears by you.

Once you sure the car is gone, you gradually look up, your eyes catch on a second pair across the road. They were staring intensely in your direction. You look away, before going back, only to see that he was still staring.

“Jay.” You whisper, pulling at his hand.

“Mmm?” he hums, looking at you.

“There’s a man over there.” You nod your head in the direction of the pair of eyes, that were still on the two of you.

James follows your nod, towards the little newsstand that was across the street, he looked away just as you did, before looking back.

“Is he looking at us?” you mumble, turning so you were looking at James, so he had a reason to look in the direction of the man.

“It certainly looks that way.” Without speaking, James began to cross the street, heading towards the newsstand.

“Jay, what are you doing?” James doesn’t answer you, and soon you’re on the opposite side of the road, striding towards the man, who looks increasingly worried. As you both got closer, the man began panicking, and just before you reached the front of his stall, he broke out the back door and ran down the street.

“Where is he going, Jay…Jay?” you turn to look at James, who’s eyes are glued to the paper in his hands, “what does it say?”

You lean over his shoulder, your own eyes going wide when you read the headline:

WINTER SOLDIER CÄUTAT PENTRU BOMBARDMENTUL DIN VIENA

‘WINTER SOLDIER WANTED FOR THE VIENNA BOMBING’

“What the hell?” you gasped, quickly glancing around you, just to check whether anyone had noticed the man fleeing his stand, and the fact that the man on the security camera in Vienna was currently stood right in the middle of Revolution Square.

“Jay, we can’t stay here,” you pulled at James’ arm, “it’s too open, we need to get back to the apartment, and work out our next move.”

You pulled at his arm once again, when he didn’t move.

“James…we…need…to…go.” You say firmly, successfully pulling him away.

Quick walking back to your apartment, you make sure to keep your head down, at some point; James had grabbed hold of your hand and his hold on it was almost painful, as he gripped it tightly.

You made it to your building, but you stopped, which made James look to you.

“What, we need to get inside, why have you stopped?” he asked you flustered, looking around to check if you had been followed.

“Something seems off.” Your eye narrowed as you looked up at your building.

“What do you mean?” James follows your gaze, as you look up the side of the building.

“It just seems…quiet.” You tune your ears into what is usually a vibrant building, when you left this morning, Mr Luca had been playing his favourite folk music, whilst Miss Aldea was singing along. Most of the time children would be running up and down the fire escape, but now the only noise and sound of life came from the stray dogs, that were howling a few blocks away. The building now stood in an eerie silence, and every fibre of your being was telling you something was wrong.

Instead of going through the main door, you head up the fire escape on the side of the building. You walk up the side of the building, finally reaching your floor, you press your backs to the wall, and edge your way along.

Through the newspaper clippings you had placed on your windows, you could see the outline of someone stood in your kitchen. Thankfully, you had remembered to leave one of the windows open.

You looked back to James, who just gave you a nod, as you silently stepped through the window. The man invading your home you recognised immediately, it was Steve Rogers or Captain America, he was too focused on James’ notebook that was on the top of the fridge to notice James following behind you, stepping through the window.

Suddenly Steve jerked his head, sensing a presence behind him, and he turned to face you, he looked you up and down.

“You know me?” he asked.

“You’re Steve,” James confirmed, “we read about you in a museum.”

Steve had a look on his face, that it wasn’t just James’ voice he could here, and movement outside your window, made your head turn.

“I know you’re nervous,” Steve continued, he placed James’ notebook down on the side, and took small steps towards you, “and you have plenty of reason to be.”

James lightly grabbed the back of your shirt, pulling you closer to him. You both had every right to be nervous; not only did it appear that there was a worldwide man hunt for James, but the man, who stabbed you in the leg, and broke your lover’s arm, was currently standing in your apartment.

“But you’re lying,” you squint at Steve’s words, James’ hand moved from your shirt to your hand, squeezing hard.

“He wasn’t in Vienna, he doesn’t do that anymore,” you spoke up for James, “we don’t do that anymore.”

“Well the people, who think you did, are coming here now. And they’re not planning on taking you alive.”

“That’s smart, very smart,” you laugh, a little nervously, letting go of James’ hand, and walking to your draw, pulling out your magnum, “good strategy.”

You stopped smiling when you hear the sounds of banging on your roof, the noise similar to heavy footsteps.

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.” Steve tried to reason, but you snort, looking to James, who shares your disbelief. He began taking his gloves off.

“It always ends in a fight.” He mumbled, his silver hand becoming visible when he removes his last glove.

“You pulled me from the river. Why?” Steve questioned you, the way his temper rose, made you anxious and shifty.

“I don’t know.” James sighed.

You began walking round the room, assembling your various artillery you had stolen from HYRDA. Tucking the Magnum into your back pocket, you pulled up a floorboard by your bed, retrieving your combat knife, sliding it into your other pocket. Shuffling around the floor, you picked up your small explosives, placing them in your jacket.

“Yes, you do.”

Suddenly a smashing sound, has you running to James, he holds you close, as a bright flash came from your kitchen, Steve pushing it aside with his shield. It exploded mid-air.

A second canister shattered a second window, this one landed by your feet, and you kicked it at Steve, who covered it with his shield, controlling the explosion. Loud banging coming from your door, jerked you into fight mode, James pulled you by your waist, before helping to shield you, using your scummy mattress, that he lifted over your head, when a third explosive was launched through your window.

You watched the door, begin to crack under whatever force was being used on the other side.

“Jay, the door.” You pointed to the bending hinges, and James quickly flipped your table into the doorway, blocking their entrance.

Your victory was short lived, as more loud crashing was heard from within your apartment, when two heavily armoured soldiers, burst through your windows. James fought one of them off, whilst you tried to finish collecting your own weaponry. In the process of fighting the second soldier, Steve pulled the rug from under his feet, while the soldier discharged his weapon. One of the bullets grazed your hip, tearing the skin, which made you crumple over, crying out in distress.

“Y/N!” James shouted, his anger rising, as he threw the soldier into the wall, before running to you, “Are you okay? Are you hit?”

You press your hand over your hip, where the wound was, you shook your head at James’ words of concern.

“No, it’s just a flesh wound, I’ll be fine. We need to get out of here.” you wince as you stand upright, “we’ve prepared for this.” You give him a look, and he returns it with his own look of sadness, at the realisation you were going to have to abandon your home, but he gives you a sharp nod of his head.

A third soldier burst through your balcony door, Steve lifted his shield, but James’ pent up rage; of his home being invaded, his partner being shot at, and the fact that they were looking for him in the first place, for a crime he didn’t commit, sent him over the edge, and he kicked the guy hard in the chest, sending him flying through the doorway.

“Buck, stop.” Steve grabbed James’ shoulder, James rotated in his grip, “you’re gonna kill someone.”

James’ nostrils flared at that statement, he shoved Steve to the ground, briefly holding him there, before raising his fist. He slammed into the floorboard just by Steve’s head, his fist going through the floor.

“I’m not going to kill anyone.” He pulled the rucksack you had hidden under the floor, free from its hiding space, before walking back over to you, “do you think you can make it?”

You step onto your tippy toes, glancing over the edge of the balcony, you shrug, “I’ve done worst.”

You give him a small smile, he doesn’t return it, instead he grabs your face, kissing your lips passionately.

“If I’m not with you in 10 minutes, you go without me.” He says, once he pulled away.

“Just see me in 8, Barnes.” You joke for one last time, before stepping over Steve’s body, and strapping the backpack on, “see you in a bit.”

You blow James a kiss, before taking a few steps back, then running as fast as you can, leaping over the side of the balcony.

You fall for a few seconds, rolling into a landing position, once you reach impact on the ledge, yelling when you roll over the graze on your hip. Pulling yourself up and onto your feet, you dive behind a large vent, that was for the building beneath your feet, and take cover as you wait for James to join you.

You eye your wrist intently, as the little hands wined around the clockface of your watch.

5 minutes…6 minutes…7 minutes…10 minutes…

You sigh, looking around the side of the vent, so you can survey the building opposite you, that was alive with the sound of gunfire, and shouts.

“Come on, Jay…come on, baby.” You look to the sky, you don’t know why, just at that point you would have believed in anything, just anything that was going to give you, your love back.

And then, as if your prayers had been answered, from a lower window, you watch a man flailing a little, as he leaps from the balcony. From the mop of brown hair, you know it was your man, and you thank, whoever was looking down on you, and you run to meet him, as he makes a similar crash landing to you.

“Where’ve you been, you’re late.” you tap your watch, but he’s in no mood for games, and just seizes your arm, pulling you with him, as he broke into a sprint.

You’re only running for a short while, before a large shadow is cast over your heads. Before you have a chance to look up, you’re being knocked to the ground by a kick to head,

“Ah!” you and James both yelled, as you summersault over yourselves. You quickly stand, and your left even more confused when what appeared to be an overgrown black cat stood in front of you.

“What are you supposed to be?” you shout, but he doesn’t answer, instead he poises his claws, quickly telling you, this man was not your friend. You drop the bag, pulling your knife, just as you and James leap onto him. He kicks James away, and you swing the knife, but he ducks, and easily deflects your counter punch. Pushing you away, he takes on James, whose tactic was to just throw as many punches as possible hoping he would land one eventually.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t land any, and instead is kicked into an air-conditioning unit, collapsing onto the floor. You rush him, just before the black cat could plunge his claws into James’ face.

James is able to stand, whilst you block all of your opponent’s attempted attacks. However, he catches you off balance, and you fall to the floor, without time to recover, you wait for the inevitable impact of the claws, but it doesn’t come as James jumps in front of you, taking the claws to his arm.

James tackles him to the ground, flipping him onto his back, but the black cat recovers quicker, and stands over James as he tries to claw his way at James chest, but you slide him an iron bar, which James uses as a stick to hold off the sharpened metal.

You pull the magnum from your back pocket and begin firing shots at the man in the fancy-dress costume, but that proves useless as the bullets simply ping off the man’s protective suit. The bar snaps, and the cat seizes his opportunity, but James holds the man’s wrists firmly, and just about keeps him away.

Soon the sound of your gun, is drowned out by the tirade of gunfire that comes from the sky, as a helicopter sores into view, and begins shelling the two men. Thankfully the man’s suit remains bullet repellent even during the heavy firing, therefore; shielding James.

The man briefly becomes distracted by the sight of a helicopter spinning out of the air, and James chooses his time wisely, and muscles free of the cat’s hold. You grab the rucksack, and then James’ hand, sprinting off the roof, and jumping down the side.

Unfortunately for you, the black cat followed you, sliding down the side of the building.

Feet planted solidly on the ground, you both take off, heading towards the underpass, you used it as shelter, when you heard the sound of the helicopter’s blades slicing through the air. You leapt down, breaking into another heart pounding sprint through the sublevel freeway, narrowly avoiding being hit by cars.

Sirens echo behind you, as you pace your way through the tunnel, you glance over your shoulder to see that the black cat, and Steve, were following you.

James and you climbed over cars, and swerved through the traffic, skilfully evading the police. Just as you were approaching an intersection, cop cars coming from the opposite directing had you and James skidding in different directions.

“Split up!” you yelled, James going one way, you go another. You ran alongside each other, only you were on the correct hand side of the road, while James ran against the traffic.

Once you heard the loud crash behind you, you assumed that it was the police colliding with one another, so ran to join James on his side of the road. As you approached, you watched him overturn a man riding his motorcycle. You make you way on his side of the road, stopping dead as he drove towards you. Just before the wheels could crush you, you grabbed the handlebars, and flipped over the top of James’ head, rotating mid-air, and landing perfectly behind James, as he continued to speed off.

Now on the bike; it was easier to swerve in and out of traffic, but it was still difficult fighting against the flow of traffic, so you crossed over once again.

Suddenly you sensed a force, heading towards you, and you turned just in time, to seize the black cat by the throat, holding him aloft, as James continued to speed. The man was a little heavier than you were anticipating, and was able to use it to his advantage, flipping you over so the bike was leaning heavily on it’s side. James stopped you all from falling, by laying his hand on the road, sparks flew as metal and tarmac met.

You managed to kick, the man away from your bike, and he went rolling off, James straightened out the bike, by pushing off the ground, both of you now, sitting up right.

You dislodged one of your hand grenades from one of your jacket’s pockets, flicking it onto the ceiling of the motor tunnel. You hold your ears as the explosion happens.

Once again, the sound of metal grazing metal filled your ears, and before you could do anything, you and James were skidding off of the bike, that overturned, and skidded away. Both of you rolling across the concrete. Eventually halting, in amongst the rubble and dirt.

“No.” you cried, just as the cat lured over James, preparing to strike, but he’s tackled to the floor by Steve. You stand and point your gun at the man, hobbling to James, who wraps his arm around you.

Soon enough, you are circled by the police, all armed as they advance towards you. You jump when a man made of metal falls from the sky, bearing what appeared to be some heavy-duty missiles in his shoulder pads. You held the gun firmly, the threat level in your head, still remained very high.

“Stand down, now.” The metal man ordered; his weapons trained on you. Shakily you let the gun drop to the floor, you followed as the adrenaline that had been keeping you going wore off, and the pain in your side became overpowering.

“Baby.” James breathes, following you to the floor, holding you close to him.

“Congratulations, Cap. You’re a criminal.” You faintly here the metal man say.

You squeeze James’ hand as your eyes begin to roll.

“Somebody help me, please.” James shouted, holding his hand over the wound in your side.

People rushed to you, but they didn’t help in the way you could have hoped. Ripping you from James’ arms, you try to fight back, knowing they were going to separate you.

You could hear James yelling back, trying to struggle from the men, but they just pin him to the ground. They do the same to you, cuffing you, before sitting you up, an EMT running over to pack your wound.

They lifted you up, and you continued to fight them, all the while hearing James shouting for you, and for the men to let you go.

They placed you in separate vans, the last sound you hear is the heavy slamming of a door.

A/N: I can not tell you have many times I had to rewatch the scene of Bucky’s apartment in order to write this chapter. So much shit happens in space of about 5 minutes, and it’s intense!!!

Part Eight//

Taglist:

@amanda-the-fangirl @winchester-wifey @lemonadygirl @lunagrangerweasley @omfgforthelordalmighty @hhxppyyy @furioustrashprofessorneck @sznri @mugscraps @colourforanamee @grav3dollie-666 @purneetk @buckystories-3 @foxybisexual @sadbaby02 @sebastianstansqueen

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nctwd127 · 4 years

Text

Arranged Marriage.

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

Warnings: Alluded assault, obvious mental and emotional trauma (if others, please let me know.)

Wasn’t able to post last week because of work but we are back today with a new chapter filled with hurt and sorrow!

Word Count: 2785

The surface under me was soft and silk like, I realized that I was laying down on a bed. One I have never seen before. The room I was in was dark, with only a dim light coming in from the window and the bottom of the door.

The air was blistering cold around me, my body was shivering. I laid on my side, balled up with my knees almost touching my chest. I looked down at my body to see it bare and bruised.

My body was stiff when I tried to stretch myself out, every muscle I moved cried in agony. They were hand prints on my wrists and deep shades of purple on my ankles. And worst of all, my core ached.

And I have only felt that pain once before.

I tried my best to move as fast as possible to get off the bed and look for anything to cover myself with. But I couldn’t even make the effort to swing my leg off the side of the bed because my whole body was in pain.

Every move I made, made tears gather in my waterline, “What the hell happened?” I asked out loud. It wasn’t until I sat up that I realized my brain was pounding against my skull, felt like it was throbbing to be set free.

Suddenly the door was opened and a dark figure walked in, holding something in their hand. There wasn’t enough light to see who it was but the outside looked like the hallway of my house. And then it dawned on me where I was.

The room filled with a burning light that made my eyes automatically close because it stung. My hand came up to block the light so I could open my eyes and see what was going on. And I wish I had never opened my eyes or even have woken up.

In front of me stood no other than Jung Jaehyun, staring me down fully clothed. In his hand he had a glass of water and a plate full of fruit.

“You’re awake. How did you sleep?” He walked over to me and sat near me on the bed. When I tried to scramble away from him, my body moved freely and nothing hurt.

Jaehyun had a confused look on his face, “What’s wrong baby?” He asked reaching over to me, trying to touch my face. I got off the bed and when I looked down at my body again, I was dressed in a set of pajamas and the bruises were gone.

“Don’t fucking call me that.” I pointed at him. “What are you doing here? Why are you here?” I yelled at him and he looked so hurt that I raised my voice at him. He placed the things down and with caution walked over to me.

“Baby, what’s going on?” He asked again, trying to get a hold of me. I watched his hand reach over to me and that’s when I saw the gold band on his finger. I immediately looked at my own hand and I had a matching one on.

The tears started pooling again, “What happened to Yuta?” I asked backing up against the wall.

Jaehyun’s face went serious at the mention of his name and the soft demeanor he was oozing of before quickly changed into anger, “He won’t keep us apart anymore baby. It’s just us two now.”

He closed the gap between us, pressing me more into the wall and placed his hands on my waist. I started to push away from him crying.

“Stop!” I yelled sitting up, clawing at my arms to erase the burning touch that lingered on my skin.

Next to me, Lucas shot up confused and startled but quickly and gently pulled my hands away from doing any real harm to myself, “Hey, hey, look at me baby. You’re okay, you’re right here. Don’t do that.” He cooed.

He kneeled in front of me and cupped my face, “I got you baby, you’re okay with me, I promise.” A soft smile graced his face and my own lips did the same.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just, I had a nightmare.” I mumbled looking away from him. This was the first time since I’ve shared the same bed with him, that I had a nightmare.

��Why do you seem sad about that?” He asked sitting back on his feet.

I looked at him again, “I don’t know.” I lied knowing damn well why I felt so sad about this. A strong guilt washed over me when he leaned in and placed a small peck on my lips.

“It’s okay, it happens.” He assured me, pulling away from me and laying down again. He pulled me to him and I laid my head on his chest, letting the warmth of his body engulf me. He laced our fingers together and hugged me tighter.

But with you it’s not supposed to happen Lucas. He was what kept them away when I slept and now this time, it didn’t happen. And it makes me ache to know that when I slept with Yuta, there was no nightmares, no bad dreams.

In fact the opposite happened, I had a good dream. The best dream I could have ever hoped of having and it just made me wish things had been that way. That this lifetime never happened and I got to live the one that I saw.

Lucas fell back to sleep quite quickly while I laid on his chest, being consumed in my thoughts. Everything about that nightmare kept playing over and over again, I was married, again. And to Jaehyun of all people.

Without knowing, I eventually fell asleep again and was woken up by Lucas peppering my face with kisses. I smiled and scrunched up my face, “What are you doing?” I laughed pulling my face away from him.

“You were so cute, I couldn’t help myself. I haven’t seen you in forever and you just look more beautiful than the last time I saw you baby.” He cooed, coming down to give place a peck on my lips. It was soft and sweet, it felt right.

Everything with Lucas felt right.

The soft kiss soon turned a little more heated and he fixed himself to hover over me, placing his hand on my waist and the other holding is weight to not crush me. Our heads moved to the side when his tongue fell into my mouth savoring my taste. It felt good to be kissed again.

Lucas soon pulled away from my lips and trailed wet kisses down to my neck. It was something we’ve done a million times but today it felt different. Like something more could happen.

“I missed you so much baby.” He mumbled against the skin of my neck, goosebumps growing on the skin of my soft spot. My body shuddered under him when he started sucking on the skin of my neck. It was the kind of shudder that my body hasn’t felt in a long time.

My fingers got tangled in his air and I softly pulled at his roots, with a soft moan leaving my lips near his ear. He groaned and pressed his pelvis a little deeper into me, pulling a soft sigh from my chest. I pulled his face away from my neck and connected out lips again, wanting more of him.

But before things could get more heated, Lucas suddenly pulled away from my body and rolled over next to me. I was thrown off by his sudden action. I looked over at him to see his arm covering his eyes and his chest heaving, trying to settle his breathe.

“Um, everything okay?” I asked laying still, trying to process what just happened. A million and ten things were running through my mind and suddenly I started thinking what if he didn’t want me anymore because of what happened?

What if in his eyes I was damaged and he didn’t want to put up with that anymore?

My eyes were closed shut, trying to make the thoughts go away, to make them less loud than what they were. My fingers gripped the bed sheets under me so tight, it was starting to hurt. Inside, I was yelling at the top of my lungs for this to stop, for it to all go away.

The bed shifted beside me and I felt a warm hand over mine, pulling away from the bed sheets. “You keep doing that, it’s not good for you (Y/N).” Lucas whispered pulling my hand up to his lips to place a soft kiss on top.

“Open your eyes and sit up for me please. Let’s talk.”

With much hesitation, I did as he asked of me. I sat across from him copying the way he sat, crisscrossed and our hands laced together. I kept my eyes on his lap and after he realized that I wasn’t going to look at him anytime soon, he started to speak.

“I can only imagine what was going through your head when I pulled away from you like that and I know none of it was good. But don’t think that, not about me or us.”

“This isn’t how I want us to take the next step in our relationship, not like this. You’ve been through a lot in such a short amount of time and you need time to process everything that’s happened.” He softly explained, letting go of one of my hands and bringing it to caress my cheek.

I nestled my face into his palm and looked up at him, “When we take that next step, I want it to be done right. I want it to be perfect, because that’s what you deserve. I want to give you the best.”

“You’re so corny, what are you saying to me?” I laughed and blushed, hiding my face from him. He laughed and pulled my hands away from my face to see my crimson face. Never have I ever seen so much care in two eyes the way I see it in his.

“Thank you for being so understanding. For being so caring and for just being here with me through everything Lucas. Really, thank you.”

It made my heart flutter and my stomach fill with butterflies, it was a nice feeling to have again after everything I’ve been through. But something in my heart, I don’t know, felt a little different. And I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad.

“All jokes aside, I really do mean it (Y/N). I want to do this right.” Lucas assured me and I believed every word he said.

After a little more talking, we moved on with the rest of the day. The afternoon was just getting started, so we made lunch or more like he made me lunch and we talked. We stayed away from the hard topics for the moment being, knowing I wasn’t ready for that yet.

Lunch passed by and we went back to bed, we haven’t seen each other in so long and all we wanted was to stay in bed together for as long as we can. Which was going to be a short time simply because I had to go back home.

I could stay here the night like I have before but with the way things are with Yuta right now, I just didn’t want to make things worse. I’m sure he wouldn’t even notice that I wasn’t home but still, there was no reason for me to test that right now.

When we got to bed, that’s when Lucas and I decided that we should have the hard conversations. It wasn’t easy and he was mad for the most part when I told him about Jaehyun, but not the full details about that day.

He was ready for murder but it didn’t matter if he would actually do something or not. Because it was confirmed that Jaehyun left town and went god knows where. He had nothing left here for him.

And to think that he would have cared about losing his friends was stupid, that man cared for no one but himself and that’s all he needed to survive.

But to know that the person that hurt me and put me in harm’s way was not getting what he deserved, only made Lucas angrier. And it made me realize even more that I would have not brought this out on my own, not now or ever.

None of it.

Not from the things that happened with Yuta, to the things that happened with Jaehyun. Had Yuta and them not walked into the room that day, they would have never known what happened and I would have been okay with that.

I would have been okay with rotting away in my room, burning away with all my thoughts and misery.

“Are you going to be okay going home?” Lucas asked walking me to the door, squeezing my hand.

When we reached his door, I looked up at him and smiled, “I’ll be fine, don’t worry please.” I assured him, returning his tight squeeze.

“I’ll let you know when I get home, okay.” I reached up to give him a kiss and walked out into the night to my car. He watched from his door as I got into my car and drove away.

The drive home felt shorter than what it did this morning and I felt relieved. Before I knew it, I was parking in the drive way of my home. I sat in the car for a few minutes, thinking of how things are with Yuta right now.

I’m not sure why but I didn’t want things to be this way between us. Not again, I wanted things to be better and to make things easier for the both of us. I don’t want him to hate me, I never have and I never will.

The walk up the door, I started to feel around my pockets only to realize that I didn’t bring the keys to the house. And after what happened, Yuta took away the spare that we had left out here. So now that only left me with one thing to do.

My fist knocked against the hard wood and I waited to hear any kind of sound that never came. I rang the doorbell and I heard it echo throughout the house. I tried again but nothing still.

Just as I was getting ready to pull out my phone to call him, the door was swung open and a messy haired Yuta appeared before me.

“What do you want?” He groaned before he realized that it was me standing on the other side of the door.

There was a shocked look on his face for a split second before he composed himself and gave me the cold stare that I’ve been seeing for the last two weeks.

“Oh, it’s you.” He sneered, moving aside so that I could walk in. I walked into the space of our home and instead of walking away, I stood in front of him. He closed the door and stayed in front of me, which surprised me a little considering all he’s been doing is avoiding me.

“I’m sorry for waking you up, I thought I had taken my keys with me.” I apologized and kept my gaze on his chest. I watched the way it went up and down with every breath he took, the way his fist clenched and unclenched at my words.

Yuta said nothing and turned to walk back up to his room, and without meaning too, I reached for his hand. He stopped but didn’t turn to face me.

“Yuta, I’m sorry. I don’t want you to hate me, please. I don’t know what normal is for us but I don’t want it to be this way anymore.” I pleaded with him.

He pulled his hand away from my hold and continued his way upstairs. I did nothing but watch him walk away from me, my heart felt heavy and I can only imagine that his felt worse than mine.

When he got to the top of the stairs, he stopped and turned to look at me, from all the way down here I could see the way his eyes glossed over.

“There’s nothing more that I want than to hate you, to hate you with everything that I have in me. But I can’t. Because I am so stupidly and profoundly in love with you. So much so that it hurts me.”

Masterlist

~~~~

The ending here hurt me so much. I hope you guys feel the same hurt I did. Please do let me know what you thought about this week’s chapter.

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casualmaraudering · 4 years

Text

These hills have eyes (and I got paranoia)

AO3 LINK

Pairing: Sirius/Remus

Rating: Mature

Warnings in the tags!

Wordcount: 3839

Summary:

Remus feels his stomach twist uncomfortably. In an instant, he turns away and walks out the door, not caring whether Sirius hears it closing. He feels his eyes sting as his brain screams at him; it all makes sense, in the worst of ways. But he refuses to say it to himself, even if all the dots slowly connect. Sirius wouldn’t. He’d never do that. Not his Sirius, no.

Turns out I’m your Santa @invisbledragon 😉 I went with the “betrayal” prompt, and it accidentally turned out into this very cliche ‘not what it seems like’ fic, i hope you can forgive me for that! Hope you had great holidays and that you’ll have a great new year!

Sirius has been acting strange. More than strange, even.

Remus notices something’s wrong on Monday. For the longest time, their Mondays were pretty much the same; Remus has afternoon classes, and Sirius has evening ones. They’re both at home by 8, so they order takeout and start watching something on Netflix, usually late into the night cause they’re both free on Tuesdays.

It may not be much, but it’s their thing. They always spend Monday evenings together. Always. So it comes as a surprise when Sirius isn’t home til well after midnight, without even sending Remus one text about why he’s late.

He’s not drunk when he finally gets home, so that’s good, but Remus still sits on the couch with his arms crossed, refusing to acknowledge Sirius for a moment, waiting for some sort of explanation.

“You’re still up?” is the first thing Sirius asks. Remus scoffs at him.

“Of course I am. I was waiting for you.”

“Why?”

Remus furrows. “It’s Monday, ” he hisses out. Usually, he wouldn’t even care much, but that’d be if Sirius let him know he’d be busy; instead, Remus spent hours worrying like crazy only for Sirius to stroll home as if he didn’t just ignore Remus’s texts for half a day.

“Oh.” Sirius looks to realize it, an apologetic look appearing on his face. “Shit, Rem, I’m so sorry, I-... I guess I just… forgot.”

Forgot.

“Right.” Remus chokes out. “And didn’t bother looking at your phone at all, all day?”

“I’m really, really sorry. James wanted help with some bullshit and I completely blanked and forgot it’s Monday.” Sirius comes to sit down next to Remus, putting his hand on Remus’s cheek. “I’m an idiot, you know that. Forgive me?”

Remus lasts approximately five seconds before a smile creeps onto his face.

“You’re lucky I like you.”

Next morning, Remus wakes up alone. The fact the place next to him is empty startles him enough to leave the warm and comfortable bed. Sirius never wakes up before 10 on a free day, and it’s barely past seven.

Remus’s first instinct is to check the bathroom, but then he hears a noise from the kitchen, so he heads there.

“Yeah, that works great.” Remus furrows when he hears Sirius clearly talking to someone. Do they have guests? So early in the morning?

No response comes, and Sirius speaks once more.

“Can I just meet you there?”

He must be talking on the phone, then. Remus crosses to walk into the kitchen; Sirius is standing facing away from him, so he doesn’t notice Remus’s presence in the doorway.

“Can we do that? I just… I don’t want my boyfriend finding out,” Sirius says in a hushed voice.

Remus feels his heart skip a beat in an unnerving way. What is it that Sirius doesn’t want him to know?

“Okay, yeah, that’s fantastic. You have my number, in case you need anything.” With that, Sirius says his goodbyes and hangs up.

“Who was it?” Remus says in the most calm voice he can muster while his head goes through a long list of ‘what is it that Sirius can’t have me knowing?’

Sirius, startled, almost drops his phone as he abruptly turns to face Remus.

“Jesus, you scared me,” Sirius laughs. “When did you come here?” Remus can clearly tell Sirius is nervous. But why would he be? What is it about this conversation that Sirius doesn’t want him hearing?

‘Just now,” Remus lies, hoping it’s believable. “Who were you talking to?”

“Oh? That, uh, that’s just James. You know him, the asshole has the audacity to call me at this ungodly hour,” Sirius comes up to Remus, puts his arms around his waist and leans to kiss his neck. “Wanna go back to bed? We can have a lie in.”

Ah, yes. Distracting me with sex. Typical.

Although he knows Sirius is just straight up lying to him - if it were James, Sirius would talk to him for at least an hour more, and he’d happily put him on speaker for Remus to talk to as well - he lets himself be led back into their bed. Soon enough, Sirius makes him forget all about everything he might’ve worried about. Even if just for a moment.

As Remus is lying inbetween the messy sheets, Sirius’s chest against his back, listening to the other man breathe (of course, Sirius is already asleep, and Remus suspects he’s gonna stay that way til noon), this morning and the night before creep back into his mind.

‘I just forgot.’

‘I don’t want my boyfriend finding out.’

What was Sirius hiding, exactly? Was he hiding anything at all? And why would he even need to hide anything from Remus? They’ve been dating since high school, friends since elementary school, surely Sirius trusted him enough to tell him just about anything… right?

Remus doesn’t want to just jump into theories about Sirius’s behaviour like that, but he can’t help but be curious, if not a little worried.

The first thing that comes to mind is Sirius’s family. In the past, whenever Sirius was acting off, it always had to do with his relatives. But that wouldn’t really make sense right now, would it? Ever since his biological parents died (a fact Sirius hasn’t been upset about at all, and Remus really didn’t blame him) over a year ago, there wasn’t anything that could really upset him in that front. And he’d surely tell Remus if he got into a fight with Regulus, since Sirius has always loved to be vocal about his brother’s shenanigans.

Other than that, Remus doesn’t really have any idea as to what might be wrong. They’ve always told each other everything, Sirius would tell him if something weren’t okay. So what’s with all the secrecy?

Remus decides to, for now, let it go, and try to forget about it. If it were something serious, his boyfriend would tell him soon enough. Maybe all Sirius needs is a little bit of time.

By next Monday, Remus is convinced that something is definitely wrong.

Sirius had been acting strange all week long. He seems nervous all the time, he keeps glancing at his phone every second, and hides its screen out of view anytime Remus is anywhere near him - which he’s never done before, hell, Remus knows Sirius’s passcode, and yet Sirius randomly started behaving as if there’s something he needs to hide.

Whatever they’ve been watching that Monday afternoon is long forgotten as Remus is straddling Sirius on the couch, feverishly sliding his hands underneath Sirius’s t-shirt. Remus can tell Sirius has been distracted with something all evening (although, of course, he’s no idea what’s Sirius distracted with), but now it all seems gone as he feels Sirius’s fingers creeping up his shirt and ghosting over his spine. They take their time, lips and hands travelling up and down, and Remus slowly starts rutting against Sirius’s hips.

Yes, it’s all going quite wonderful, and Remus is now down on his knees in front of Sirius, when, of course, Sirius’s ringtone sounds off in the room.

“Ignore it,” Remus breathes out, and kisses Sirius’s stomach as his hands work on the zipper. And he expects Sirius to do just that. But instead, Sirius takes the phone out of his pocket, looks at the screen, and promptly swears. He then pushes Remus’s hands away with a “wait.”

Remus leans back to sit on his heels, confusion spreading on his face.

“Give me a second, I have to take this,” Sirius says in a hurry, and then he clumsily gets off the couch and leaves for their bedroom, and then Remus can even hear the balcony door opening.

Remus is simply sat down on the floor, staring at the door in complete confusion. Sirius didn’t even mention who called, he just hurried off with no explanation, and that’s nothing like Sirius. He’s usually never to answer the phone when they’re about to have sex (Sirius has a policy of ‘nothing is more important than sex’, which Remus doesn’t necessarily agree with, but it has Sirius always putting his phone on silent if someone’s disturbing them), and if he does, he always tells Remus who’s calling. And why would he even leave? He’s never this secretive about people calling him!

Remus spends a good minute sat on the carpet until Sirius comes out of the bedroom. But instead of an explanation, or a ‘sorry, let me make it up to you’ and then fucking Remus all the way to next week, Sirius heads towards the door and starts putting his jacket on. Shoes follow.

“I’m so sorry, I really need to go, this-... thing, uh. Came up. James needs me, you understand, right?” he gives Remus a peck on the forehead, and just like that, Sirius is out the door.

And Remus spends another five minutes on the floor because what the fuck was that.

He doesn’t bother waiting for Sirius. He leaves the lounge, climbs into bed, and tries not to listen to the stupid things his mind is trying to feed him.

And so Monday turns into Tuesday and that turns into Wednesday, and Sirius is still acting weird. When Remus is back from his classes that day, he has every intention of confronting Sirius about everything.

His plans don’t really work out, though.

Sirius is on the phone - again - and therefore doesn’t hear Remus come in. Whoever he’s talking to, it’s quite a heated discussion, it seems.

“I can’t just do that, come on. Who do you think I am?... Listen-... James!”

Ah, of course. Who else if not James?

“He might start suspecting things. Hell, I think he already might know something, and I can’t have him know. He cannot know. He thinks I’ve been with you on Monday so you better come up with something you needed me for cause I’m fucked if he finds out.”

Remus feels his stomach twist uncomfortably. In an instant, he turns away and walks out the door, not caring whether Sirius hears it closing.

He feels his eyes sting as his brain screams at him; it all makes sense, in the worst of ways. But he refuses to say it to himself, even if all the dots slowly connect. Sirius wouldn’t. He’d never do that.

Not his Sirius, no.

He manages to admit it to himself next Tuesday.

“So, anything interesting happened since we last saw each other?” Poppy asks him, with her usual polite smile on.

After the usual bunch of questions about his mood (could be worse), and whether he’s been taking his meds (no, not for a few days now - and Sirius hasn’t even noticed, when usually he'd keep an eye on it), if the dose isn’t too strong (it was perfect, when he was taking it), and whether he thinks his anxiety is behaving a little better (nope), there comes this. And for once, Remus isn’t sure what to say to her.

She’s been his therapist for years now, and helped him in pretty much everything that’s been bothering him, but that was usually his mental health. Depression, anxiety, that. Not his private life. Can he even talk to her about that?

Poppy seems to take his lack of answer for an answer of itself.

“Is something wrong, perhaps?”

Remus swallows silently. “I think so.”

Poppy raises a brow in an unspoken question of ‘ what is it, then?’

“I’m… You know Sirius, right?”

“Your partner, yes. You’ve told me quite a bit about him,” Poppy smiles at him with encouragement.

“He’s really been acting weird lately, and I didn’t want to think it’s something bad at first cause you told me not to jump to the worst outcome right away, but…”

He loses his voice for a minute. He doesn’t want to think of it, he doesn’t want to say it because that’ll make it real and Remus cannot handle it. He can’t handle loosing Sirius like that.

“Did you argue with him?”

Remus shakes his head, and takes a breath. He closes his eyes, and breathes in an out again.

“I think he’s cheating on me.”

Silence follows him. Remus’s heart is hammering in his chest, and he feels he might vomit. All the signs are there, but he can’t be sure, right? Not until he makes Sirius admit it, at least. There’s still some chance it’s something completely different.

“And why would you think that, Remus?”

And Remus tells her everything. About the phone, and the sudden ‘emergencies’ with James, and the fact that James seems to know, because of course, if anyone would know about Sirius having an affair it would be James because Sirius tells James absolutely everything.

Poppy waits for him to finish before she speaks again.

“I’m not going to tell you you’re completely misunderstanding the situation, because it does sound really unlike Sirius. But you’ve been together for so long, and he’s been loyal to you through and through, so it doesn’t seem likely to me. Talk to him. Be honest, tell him you’re worried and that he’s distancing himself.”

“And what if he tells me he’s leaving me?” Remus chokes out.

“Then at least you’ll know for sure, and then you can move on. If he is, then clearly you deserve much better. But,” Poppy smiles at him. “I think he might yet surprise you.”

When Remus comes home, he finds the apartment empty - much to his relief. He wants to clear things up with Sirius, but he doesn’t think he’s quite ready for that right at the moment. He finds a text on his phone telling him Sirius is going to be working on his project at university today, and that Remus shouldn’t wait up - Sirius won’t be back til late. He sends that along with a picture of the people he’s working with, so at least Remus knows Sirius isn’t out with whatever guy he’s been sleeping with on the side.

Don’t think about that, Remus scolds himself. Poppy said you jump to conclusions too quickly.

Remus plans to make himself a cup of tea and relax in bed after an emotionally exhausting day (or more like few weeks), but when he goes to the kitchen, he finds a piece of paper on the counter. Expecting it to be a note from Sirius, of course, he reads it.

It’s a receipt from a rather posh jewellery store in central London - it doesn’t say what it is that was purchased, but Remus doesn’t even focus on it; there’s something written on the other side.

You have an eye for jewellery - it’s a beautiful gem! I’m sure it’s gonna fit like a glove.

I’m free on Tuesday evening - get me a coffee (you know my order by now, I hope!) and we can talk about everything else you wanted to.

Seán

Remus’s blood goes cold in his veins, and this time, he’s almost sure he will throw up.

All of Poppy’s words of encouragement are thrown out of his mind as Remus runs to the bedroom and pulls out a suitcase.

Sirius,

Don’t call me or message me. I need to take everything in, alone.

Maybe I’ll be back long enough for you to explain yourself, but I don’t think I ever want to listen to you speak again. I hoped and prayed that I’m just being an idiot, and you’ve been acting strange because of something you’re not quite ready to talk about yet. Even Poppy told me that you seem so loyal that there’s no way you’d do this to me.

I’m not gonna ask how could you, or why, because I can’t stand don’t want to know. I don’t even want to tell you how fucking hurt I am, because you don’t deserve to know.

Tell Lily I’ll talk to her sometime soon. Unless she also knows? Yes, I know you’ve been lying and James covered for you each time. I can’t believe both of you would do this to me. I can’t believe I love you

I hope you’re happy with Seán. I’m kindly out of your way now, so you don’t have to sneak around anymore.

His mum worries, of course. By the morning, she stops asking why is he here, but Remus can tell she knows something happened. Remus told them he needs a break from the city, but he’s never been the best liar.

He doesn’t talk with his parents much. Mostly he walks around the fields and the forest, and lets himself cry.

He hates crying. He always has. It’s always made him think of weakness, something he despises to display. Ever since that time when he was 16, he promised himself to show his parents he’s strong. He’s watched them fall apart enough as it is.

Though, right now he’s not really all that good at pretending. Sirius has been a permanent part of his life ever since Remus was a child. He’s never quite imagined they’d end up apart, that Sirius would hurt him the way he has. He’s been there through every bad day Remus has had, he’s always helped and told him he loved him; he even was there when Remus was 16 and suicidal and was stupid enough to cut his wrists enough to get himself landed in hospital. He’s been through it all, never leaving Remus’s side, always there with encouragement and words of love.

Remus’s biggest fear has always been not being enough. For his parents, for his friends. And for Sirius. And now it’s happened. Sirius clearly finally realized just who he was dating. And found someone better already.

It hurts so, so much. Remus never thought he’d hurt quite as much because of his emotions. He’s got days where he’s numb and feels nothing and oh, how he wishes to have that feeling again. Anything to stop the ache in his chest.

Quite funny that, just as he finally started thinking he’s really happy, his life completely fell apart.

It’s late in the evening, and Remus is restless. He can’t really sleep much ever since he’s been back in Wales, so instead he sits downstairs in the kitchen with an untouched cup of tea. He’s not really in the mood for tea either, but he’s never been above lying to himself.

It’s pouring rain outside, so much that Remus cannot see any of the dark outside. He probably should head to bed soon. Even if he won’t fall asleep til much later, his mum will worry if she finds him here this late.

He’s about to head to the stairs when there’s a pounding at the front door. Remus furrows. His parents haven’t mentioned expecting any visitors, especially not this late and in such a downpour. He goes to the door and cautiously opens it. And then he almost shuts it’ except a hand stops it.

“Listen to me.”

Of course, Sirius Black stands on his doorstep, soaking wet.

“Why the fuck are you here?” Remus hisses out, suddenly all melancholia turned into anger. “How dare you be here-”

“Give me a minute to explain!”

“You can’t possibly explain all of this!”

“Yes I can!”

“Oh, really? What, are you gonna call your-”

Remus’s words die in his throat as Sirius pulls out a black box from his pocket. Sirius opens it; inside, there's a ring.

“You got it all wrong, I swear. I’m fucking rubbish at keeping secrets from you and that’s why I’ve been acting so bloody weird, I was worried I’d blurt something out before it was ready. I’m not sleeping with Seán, he owns the jewellery store I went to and he helped me out with this and it’s a miracle he even put up with me because I’ve been so fucking picky cause I wanted you to like it and all the calls and late days out were all about making sure this is perfect cause you deserve it and I’m fucking sorry cause I can see how you’d think what you thought cause I acted like an asshole and never assured you that I’m just doing something for you, and… yeah. I’m not good at this, but I’d never do something like that to you, I swear on everything, and at first I was so fucking pissed that you’d even think I’d ever do something like this but I noticed you haven’t even been taking your meds and that’s how you get when you don’t… So, yeah. That’s it. I just wanted to ask you to marry me. I promise, that’s all. I love you, I wouldn't hurt you like that.”

Remus isn’t sure what to say through the wave of emotion and relief and then another wave of anxiety because of course he thought of the worst thing and was so wrong; so what he does is he closes the distance between them and lets himself feel Sirius’s embrace again, and it feels like his life is right again, even with the rain drenching him in no time.

Remus is sobbing - because truth be told, Sirius is right, Remus turns into a hell of mess if he doesn't take his meds - when he even thinks to say something.

“Yes,” he chokes out. “If you’ll still have me-”

“I wouldn’t want anyone else,” Sirius mumbles, hugging him a bit tighter. “I love you. I promise, no more stupid surprises.”

“I promise to ask you about things next time,” Remus sniffles, burying his face in Sirius’s neck. “And not just jump to conclusions. I’m so sorry.”

“Just take your stupid medication and listen to Poppy next time.”

They’re both completely soaking wet, on the front door of Remus’s parents’ house, and Remus is sure the neighbours must be watching them by now, but he doesn’t even care.

When Remus pulls away enough to see Sirius’s face, he can’t help but laugh.

“We’re such a mess,” he says, bringing his hand up to brush away the wet strands of hair stuck to Sirius’s face.

“That’s always been the case,” Sirius replies, and leans down to kiss Remus. For the first time in a very long couple weeks, Remus is finally relaxed.

“Remus? Is that Sirius?” They pull away and see Lyall and Hope standing in the front door.

“Hi,” Sirius says and waves.

“I’m glad you’ve joined us son, but please, leave the reunion for the inside next time, you’re both dripping wet.”

“I’ll get some towels,” Lyall sighs as they get inside.

“So, Sirius, why didn’t you just get here with Remus?”

“Oh,” Sirius smiles, his gray eyes twinkling even more than usual (most likely because of the drops of rain on his eyelashes). “I needed to pick up this little thing.”

He casually drops the little box onto the table, and then laughs as Hope squeals excitedly, and then pulls them both into a hug, getting her pjs wet.

Truly, what a mess they are. Remus wouldn’t have it any other way, though.

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #fanfic #my tag #tw suicide attempt mention #tw depression #tw anxiety #tw self harm mention #self harm and suicide are in only one line but still #im not too happy with this but i hope its a nice gift???

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