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havin-fun-imagining-twd · 1 month

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Shame on a plate

Happy St. Patrick's Day, slowpokes!

When -- several minutes after Stuck in a damn bed. , after Shane blew up, and you found out that not only Dale, but Maggie saw, too.

What -- Sophia's still missing, Daryl and Carl have one more day in the house on bed rest, and you're dealing with the aftermath of your big brother Shane's actions in the previous chapter and the fact that others saw. The biggest thing you feel is shame.

Relationships -- Found family you and the gang! Lol, always a slow burn Daryl x Reader, there's also some platonic Glenn, brotherly Rick, and Maggie gets protective her new friend (you), and Papa Dale is there

Perspective -- 2nd You, 3rd Daryl

Pronouns -- none

TWs -- other than the hideous screenshot above, there's some language and discussion of abusive patterns and behaviors

How long is it? -- around 4,000 words

Masterlist -- Official one here and Chronological one here

In this chapter, Reader is struggling with shame, guilt and confusion over how Shane treated them at the end of the previous chapter.

Remember, being hurt by a loved one is not okay. If they are hurting you, they are doing something bad to you. Abuse is not earned or deserved. You are worthy of being safe and unhurt.

For help getting safe, you can call the Domestic Violence Hotline (USA) at 800-799-7233, chat online, or text START to 88788.

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“No, nothin’ like it before, ever.”

Her fingers tap tap tapped against the book in her hands. “I don’t like it. Daddy’s been uncomfortable around him, then I see this happen.”

You twisted your mouth. “It was an argument between siblings.”

“If it was an argument, then why didn’t I see you arguin’ back?”

Stupid, stupid idiot. It kept playing in your head, that refrain. It had a different spin than it did at first. See, at first, your brain repeated it because you’d given yourself fault for what happened, how Shane just…you don’t know what happened. But he behaved very badly.

But then, the refrain kept repeating over and over because you didn’t walk away or fight back when Shane started hurti acting like he did.

You did nothing.

It was the one thing you were not supposed to do. The thing Shane and your Mama always warned you never to do when things got scary. The thing Shane had literally just gotten done practicing with you so that you’d know even more than you already know about how and when to fight back.

All that effort and still, you froze.

Stupid, stupid idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot.

You had to clear your throat. “Beth didn’t see, too, right? Just you?” you hushed. The girl was already timid and uneasy about your group, If she saw what happened, it was the nail in the coffin if you couldn’t fix this.

“No, I was the only one by the window.”

“So he wasn’t too loud, then.” Which meant only Margaret and Dale knew. Your shoulders felt lighter.

“Y/N,” Maggie said to you. “You seem more concerned with others not seein’ what went on.”

“Well, yeah, I’m worried they’d overreact.”

She tilted her chin up and placed her hands on her hips. “Oh, is that what I’m doing? Was my comin’ to check on you an overreaction?”

“No, no, not at all!” you quickly apologized. “Not at all! I’m, I’m happy you care enough.”

“You’re a good person and you’re my friend, which is why I don’t want to tiptoe around this. What your brother just did was bad. You know that was abusive, right?”

Maybe scoffing at her heartfelt, caring statement wasn’t your best idea, but 'abusive' was such a strong word…right? “He’s my brother, and it was a one-off, I done told you.”

“I’m not sure I believe it when you say that,” she next had the audacity to claim. “You haven’t even been makin’ eye contact with me.”

Oh, you want eye contact? I’ll give you eye contact, bitch.

Your inner tea kettle was shrieking to be taken off the burner, and you could not have cared less. “You callin’ me a liar? Calling my brother an abuser? Rich words from someone I’ve barely known two weeks!”

Before any more was said, Dale inserted himself into the conversation, the thing he said he wouldn’t do. “If you want to keep your conversation private, I suggest not raising your voices.”

Maggie’s arms were crossed. She stared hard at you, but spoke calmly. “Sometimes when things are unhealthy, those looking in from the outside can see it better. And I know what I saw.”

“A sibling fight,” you whispered as gently as you could, feeling so heated. “You, you, y-you saw a sibling fight, those can get nasty.” She’s wrong, she’s wrong, she’s not, she’s not.

“You know what? I don’t have time for your pushback if you don’t have time to consider what somebody who’s concerned about you says, Y/N.”

More shame was added to your plate.

Her leaving shouldn’t have felt so awful, but it did. You covered your eyes and exhaled, as if that would help get rid of the worst of it. You then told God how much you hated this, immediately followed by the opposite, as you cursed yourself a little more, why not? You stupid, stupid idiot.

Not only did you disappoint (and insult) your new friend, but you worried it was another strike against your group. Lori and Carl need this place, it’s safe, it’s good, it’s — you stupid, stupid idiot!

But just like that, Maggie then called your name again as Dale was stepping toward you. You turned to see her facing you once more, no longer walking away.

“If this was a dating situation, what would you think about how he behaved, what he did?” she challenged.

As unfair as you thought the comparison was, the answer hit you in the face. Pun not intended, shit, um… at any rate, having Dale close by helped to ease you into the checkmate that Margaret just finished you with.

You hated your answer.

Because if you saw Shane behaving toward a romantic partner the same way he just behaved with you, you know exactly what you’d think and how you’d react. It wouldn’t be a gray situation, it would be black and white.

More shame for the plate. More guilt. More unease, more dread.

Eyes to the grass, you swallowed your pride. “I’d see it the way you see it.”

Maggie shifted her weight from the right to left, then back again, uncertain. “Will you tell Rick?”

You hesitated, too. After all, you’re an adult. You could be married with children at your age, you couldn’t just—“Tattle that Shane…got huffy, lost his cool?”

“Don’t oversimplify, kiddo, you’re smarter than that,” Dale muttered. He and Shane don’t get on (zero idea why, since Dale and you get on so well!) so this is just more bad press against your brother and more shame for your plate.

“But it’s, it’s not that dramatic, none of this has to be dramatic,” you insisted.

Dale answered again. “Then talking to Rick about it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Rick’s family,” Maggie agreed. “So, he’s seems like the best person to help.”

A child in a grown-up’s body is what you felt like. Helpless, naïve, clueless. You stupid, stupid idiot.

They were right, though, Rick could fix this, he could talk to Shane, figure out what that was. And even better — agreeing with Maggie and Dale would get them off your back! For real, what were they doing, an intervention? Because Shaney poked you a little, gave you a little push?

The words felt sinful, but you said them anyway.“I-I’ll, um, I’ll talk to him. I’ll talk to Rick.” And, of course, you were then obligated because you despise dishonesty.

Maggie nodded, then put her thumbs in her pockets. Dale nodded and looked at the two of you, then all around. It was very uncomfortable.

It would be nice if instead of real life, this was a TV show or book, you remember thinking. The audience isn’t usually shown the awkward parts in TV or books, would be a waste of time.

“Y/N,” Maggie spoke, breaking the silence. “We have a raspberry thicket by the south-facing property line.” She pointed in the direction. “Completely overgrown. I’m gonna go back in, finish what I was doin’, but let’s go pick some together later, okay? I’ll come find you in a little while?” She smiled hopefully at you, with some pity thrown in.

Returning the smile, you hoped it made you look put-together and self-aware and confident instead of the shameful, idiotic mess you felt like. “That sounds delicious.”

The moment ended, and she went back toward the house. You heard the door open and clack shut again. A desk onto which you could slam you head would be nice, you remembered thinking.

Instead of a desk, though, Dale put a gentle hand on your shoulder.

He sighed. “Alright, troublemaker. Walk with me? We don’t have to talk, let’s enjoy the sunset awhile.”

Not two steps later, and he apologized for his timing in using the nickname that one month ago he’d christened you with. “And Y/N? What Shane did isn’t your fault.”

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Him

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Today marks one week of being stuck in this bed. Day 7.

He’d failed, that’s it. A weak-ass pussy dipshit who’d failed, and was still stuck in a damned bed after a full week.

Tomorrow, Patricia said he’d be cleared to move out. Not that it mattered much, he still couldn’t do enough to be useful. Not that he wouldn’t; he couldn’t. He’d still be on bed rest.

But hey, at least he’d be able to walk to the woods to find a place to squat and shit by himself now, right? Not even too sarcastic, it would be a step up from feeling like a total invalid.

Carol and Lori were doing a special dinner and cleaning up for the family here to try and thank them for everything. Daryl would just…lay in his bed, he figured. Except, all three of those clucking hens that he wished would stop preening him, Patricia, Carol, and Y/N, kept offering to help him eat with everyone else like they was all some big, happy, family.

This time, it wasn’t that he couldn’t; he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to face them all, not yet, it was too much. He could only take a certain level of shame, and his plate was already full.

The saving grace this past week that stopped him from drowning in his shame was his not seeing the whole kit and kaboodle of them in one sitting. Rick had told him a little over a week ago how it was no problem if Daryl left. Just Daryl, he’s pretty sure nobody else got that little talk.

He’d chosen to stay because of Sophia and Y/N. Sophia needed finding. Still does.

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You

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Carl is the kind of kid who’s double-digits, yet understands when his mother needs her baby again. Lori had snuggled with him on the bed, and both were sound asleep. Not even you knocking on the door or the door being opened/shut woke them.

Which must be why last night, Rick took the opportunity to bring up what Shane did, right there in the room.

It was a blessing that you didn’t end up having to do the hardest part, bringing it up, you suppose. Shane himself had done it for you. All you had to do was fill in the blanks.

“Said he lost control, acted a certain way,” Rick murmured. “What’d that look like?”

You didn’t want to describe it, it’d sound bad… “Shane didn’t say?”

“I’m interested in what you say.”

“Ah, you want to maintain ‘eyewitness sequeskra — eesh, that’s hard to pronounce. Se-quest-ra-tion?”

Rick did that raised brow squint thing he makes when he’s teasing, as if maybe he was about to call you ‘weirdo.’ But then, his expression faded back to serious and he spoke your name. “We both know he hasn’t been himself. What did that look like today?”

Casually, you told him about the way Shane had gotten intimidating. “You know how he’d talk when he needed to do ‘bad cop,’ it was, it was kinda like that.”

“Anything physical?”

Casually, you mentioned the jabs. “He was pokin’, like, with his pointer finger — and he’s strong, so.”

“Right there?” Rick asked, pointing to his sternum in mimic of how you’d gestured.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a bruise?”

Your neck tightened.

Maggie had spotted it when you were berry picking. One had fallen down your shirt, so you’d pulled the fabric forward and down to retrieve it, and she (and you) saw the bruise forming. You stupid, stupid idiot.

It was fine, it wasn’t a big deal. Bruises happen.

Casually, you joked to Rick, “I get bruises from random shit all the time.”

He didn’t smile.

It actually lessened the shame, rather than adding more. You were grateful.

Continuing, he questioned, “He told me about that collarbone grab, and how he went like this?” And when he motioned with his hand, slowly pretending to clap it against the side of your head, you felt your cheeks heat.

“Once.” The insult he’d smacked you with at the same time hurt more, to be honest. Which…made it all click that what Shane did wasn’t as small a deal as you’d been thinking. Mouth shut, you licked your teeth and stared into space. “Did it to himself first, way more than once.”

Rick watched his wife and son sleeping on the bed and asked nothing more for a few minutes.

You picked at the string that stuck out of your arm wrap, feeling stupid, stupid, stupid, shameful, stupid. Per usual, then you missed your mom—and out of nowhere got swept by that flash flood of resentment toward Rick again.

Shane and you had left your mother alone to scope out the latest at the hospital, to figure out how to get Rick safely out without him decompensating. While you two were gone, what happened happened. Sometimes, you assign blame to Rick for it, as if comatose Rick was the reason your ma got killed. Sometimes, you assign her dying to Shane’s change in character, as if that made it better, gave it an excuse.

Grief gets sticky like that.

“Is that all, or is there any more?”

“He went like this,” you mumbled, and grabbed the neck of your shirt like Shane had. “That’s it, all the dirt. Happy?”

“Y/N.”

“…Sorry.”

“I know this wasn’t easy. Thank you,” he told you, putting his arm on your shoulder. You didn’t want it there, so you moved away. Rick was patient, not reacting a bit.

That was last night. This morning felt pretty normal when you woke up. Carol had shared your tent again. Shane was off in his, so you didn’t see him.

Coffee in hand, you were in in the middle of coaxing one of the pullets to waddle toward you by holding out dandelion leaves when Glenn came to see you. You’d figured he wanted to feed the baby chickens, too, or, even better, that there was good news about Maggie. (She likes him!, she told you herself the other day. She just isn’t telling, you know, Glenn himself just yet.)

“Y/N? How are you?”

“I’m warmed up good with my coffee, how about you? Sleep well?” You kept your smile in when you asked, “Talk to Maggie today?”

“Yeah, yeah, I slept fine, yeah, but, um—you’re like, okay, though?”

A flutter of dread. “Glenn, what’s up?”

“What did Shane do to you yesterday? I heard him—”

“—What did you hear, and from whom?” reverberated from the back of your throat as if it were a growl.

“Dude, chill. I’m trying to see if you’re okay.”

The way you tried to keep your voice calm ended up sounding snotty and insincere. Most likely because you were feeling very insincere. How many people saw or heard about what happened? Naked, you felt so naked and exposed! “Where. Did. You. Hear about it?”

“I heard your brother talking to Rick.”

The twist in your gut eased. “Okay, um, um — what did he, w-what, um, what did he, what did he say?” And how did you hear, do they know you heard?”

“I had the headphones in, but the battery died on your mp3 while I was going to the bathroom—”

“—Daryl has the mp3,” you thought aloud.

“He let T-Dog borrow it, who let me borrow it. I-I ate something that didn’t agree with me, so…”

Oh my ffing — “Did you sanitize it when you were done?”

“Dabbed it with hand sanitizer, yeah. Oh, also, Shane asked me to ask you if he could borrow it once it was charged again.” Glenn scratched his neck. “I told him it was on really low battery.”

You swallowed.“So he did see you?”

“He and Rick saw me with the earbuds on and I acted surprised to see them.Shane asked if he could borrow it, I told him it needed to be charged, um, hey, I can see it in your face that you’re worried, please don’t be! Shane believed me,” he assured you. “Trust me, he doesn’t know I heard him. I don’t lie, Y/N, you know that.”

“I do,” you admitted, nodding.

“Anyway, I was walking back from the woods and heard Shane and Rick talking. I figured it was about Sophia, but when I overheard something Shane said, I stopped and listened.” Glenn bent his head down and shuffled his feet. “He said that he messed up, like, snapped. Told Rick that he needed to talk to you and be on your side with whatever you told him. Y/N, he said that he,” your friend lowered to a whisper, “hurt you? Like literally ‘hurt’ you, like, did he hit you?”

You smiled to put him at ease, holding up your hands. “He poked me a little and clapped an ear, weren’t hardly no thing.” Y/N, you stupid, stupid, idiot.

It was probably good that he looked so disappointed and cautious, even if it didn’t feel good to see it in his eyes at the time. “Y/N, don’t…joke about this stuff,” he began. “Why would Shane would have gone to Rick in private if it wasn’t serious?”

“’Cause he’s a drama-king.” You made it sound almost like you were patronizing Glenn, the way you said it.

“No. No, this isn’t ‘no thing,’ you literally just confessed he did hit you — does Rick know about that, too? Shane mentioned something about a collarbone, grabbing your shirt, and shoving you, which is also not ‘no thing.’”

As he was speaking, you’d felt more and more defensive and naked and ashamed. You even had to beat down the urge you had to grab his shirt and shove him back, and prove it wasn’t a big deal!

Then, you considered how he’d take it. The look on his face, at a friend doing that to him. How you’d feel about yourself if you did that. How you’d feel if you saw somebody else do that to him or somebody else. A whole lot of rapid thoughts in the several moments where you figured out a way to respond.

The explanation you made was something you’d tried on everyone so far. “We’re siblings. Stuff like that is normal — did you never see your sisters go at it?”

“No, it’s not! And if it is, it shouldn’t be! Dude, if you saw me,” he countered, speaking louder than you’d heard him make since he cried that the bodies of those at the quarry camp weren’t going to be burned with the walkers. “Doing whatever Shane did with you to one of my younger sisters, what would you think of me? How would you react?”

Glenn’s strong emotional response wasn’t expected, so you stood there, dumb. And you knew exactly how you’d react if you saw him doing to his sisters what Shane did.

And yet, you’re still unsure if everyone else is overreacting because it sounded bad or because it actually was.

Either way, Glenn’s question raised your white flag for you. You surrendered, bowing you head in shame and covering your face with your free hand.

“Glenn, there are three other people who know. Four, if you count Shane.” With your injured arm still secured by the upper arm to your torso, you pointed at him. “Dale, Maggie, and Rick know. Which means already there are three others who know. Now, Glenn, don’t go spreadin’ this business any further, hear?”

You didn’t sound half as intimidating as the words may look, mostly you sounded defeated. Ashamed. “Talk to any one of them, talk to me, but do not breathe a word to, to anybody else or around anybody else.”

This is the part where you started to get a little weepy. “And Lori, she don’t need to know about this right now, she don’t need the stress, and not a word around my Carl, oh my gosh, not him.” This is the part where you got a little beg-gy. “Please. It, it ain’t a bad secret because those that need to know, know. Okay?”

The gavel was brought down when he said, “The way you’re scared of the others finding out makes it seem like a bad one.” He was right. Is right.

He then clasped his hands together. “Listen: I wasn’t about to tell anyone else, since Rick knows. Shane told him himself, dude, and I trust Rick. But, if it was a different case,” he went on, and shook his head as if he was telling you that all bets would be off. “Y/N, remember when Ed was around? How that felt? Dude, you literally threw yourself on him when you saw him hurt Carol.”

The comparison of your brother to Ed Peletier stung and wasn’t fair. And did Glenn forget what Shane did to Ed, to? “Glenn, that ain’t equivalent by any stretch.”

“Maybe not,” he accepted. “But just because it could be worse doesn’t make it not bad. Stuff like this starts small.”

“I know,” you whispered.

You raised the white flag higher, half with the plea that this would be over faster if you did. Lord above, you felt so small, stupid, and defenseless. “You’re right,” you ceded, your gaze reaching no higher than Glenn’s belly. “You’re right. And like you said, it’s, it’s b-bein’ handled, Rick’s got it.” Ugh, stress stutter. “And Shane did a much better job than me when he saw what Ed did, don’t leave out that part.”

“He did. That almost worries me more. Just — if anything like this happens again, or if it starts to feel the same, like — ” He raised his hands. “You’re my best friend. That means I’m on your team. Okay? Even if you end up hating me for it.” He then started to leave, give you some space. “We’re on the same search team today, too. Meet by the mailbox by 9:00, it’s in like 40 minutes.”

“Hey, wait,” you called, not wanting to look him in the eye yet but doing it anyway. And you forced the words out because they were true. “Th-thank you.”

He breathed out heavily and made an awkward (but real) smile.“I love you, dude.”

“I love you, too, man. You’re my best friend.”

The uncomfortable, clumsy encounter with Glenn left you feeling more ashamed than you already were. With Daryl, that day where you’d felt as if your very soul had been stripped bare, the vulnerability hadn’t felt shameful afterward. What you’d felt was so close, unbearably close, it was strange.

But yesterday evening and this morning, the vulnerability sucked, dude. And you’d been stuck in a cycle of shame, anger, and feeling stupid, but without those feelings going away once the truth let out.

The good thing was, the target of your anger began to change during the conversation with Glenn. You weren’t thinking stupid, stupid idiot about yourself anymore, no, it became directed at Shane. The one whose blowing up made this mess. Your view of the mess also became clearer. What happened wasn’t just one sibling bullying a little on the other and it getting out-of-hand it was…it wasn’t something to brush aside, you’ll say that. And you’re scared, you’ll say that, too.

But what you were supposed to do with all of it, that still wasn’t clear.

Still isn’t. Because sooner than later, Shane will know about the baby. Sooner rather than later, the situation with Sophia will end. Sooner rather than later, that little power struggle you’re seeing between him and Rick will come to a head.

Nope. You have no idea what to do and all you feel is shame about it.

Speaking of, Daryl’s been feeling ashamed, too, it’s kinda obvious when you look and talk to the guy. He thinks that because he’s bedbound, he’s useless. Might as well pop in before you go on the search this morning, you’ve got like 15 minutes until then.

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Him

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“Last day in this fine establishment, enjoy it while you can,” Y/N joked.

Yeah, so, he wasn’t in a joking mood and didn’t get why Y/N would be, either. An entire week in this ‘establishment’ was damned shameful. All because he stole (worse, Y/N had told him more than once not to do it) borrowed a horse that got spooked. A dumbass slip and fall. Twice.

If Sophia wasn’t found, it was on his hands.

“Did Carol convince you to come to dinner, yet? Or are you still feelin’ too poorly?”

“Just stop.” He wanted to be left alone, was that so fucking complicated?

And he wanted out of this fucking bed, out of this room, out of this house, off this shit farm, and away from this whole gaggle of dumb fucks.

He wanted Merle back. He wanted Uncle Jesse back.

…He just wanted Sophia back. He'd even prayed about it.

“Sorry, little man, not now. Yeah, nah, he needs some privacy and quiet,” Daryl then heard from out in the hallway.

The door was already closed. He didn’t even hear it shut.

“No, his head is still okay, Carl, his cognition is prolly better than the two of us put together. The man’s healin’ well, thanks be to God,” Y/N cheerfully chirped like a songbird. "Wanna visit the baby chicks again?"

More shame slithered on over, hissing at him for how he’d been a dick to Y/N, of all people.

Daryl tried to rub his chest to get rid of the tugging feeling in Y/N’s direction while trying to shut up the voice in his head that was screaming for a goddamn cigarette so he could smoke and dig the lit end into his skin.

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You

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So, that was a bust. Daryl kinda snapped at you. It sucked. Felt really awful, not gonna lie. First your brother, now the mangy hick.

Come to think of it, it's actually more on brand for Daryl to have done that, given you literally just referred to him as ‘mangy hick.’

Ugh, you wanna cry again. You wanna run back to Dale the way a little kid runs to their dad. Maybe this time you'd also run into a desk to slam your head against on the way?

Later would have to suffice for finding that desk, however, because now, there’s work to do.

“Aight, let’s roll. We’re headin’ south, looking around a small neighborhood. Tomorrow, Shane and Andrea will be hitting what we don’t cover,” T-Dog announces. “Ready to head out, y’all?”

“Head on back to your ma, okay?” you tell Carl, pecking a kiss on his head and patting your finger along the chick he's still carrying. Carl had walked you to the mailbox, it's his third and probably last ‘big trip’ of the day. He’s wearing Shane’s police baseball hat. “See you later, punk, I love you."

“Yeah, man, all set. Bye, Carl.” Glenn stands up from his crouched position by the mailbox where he was waiting.

You adjust the first aid kit in your backpack, then ease it on and snap the chest clip in place. “Ready, Teddy.”

T-Dog rubs his hands together. “Then let’s roll. See if we can’t bring Sophia back for this big dinner her mama’s got planned tonight.”

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rinrinx2 · 1 year

Note

This is so late haha but responding to the other ideas one. You could do like one where rin finds out the reader is pregnant and now he is during the whole 9 months up until the birth or something lol

So I decided to post this one first so it can run like chronologically and also this was a really cute idea, I hope you like it 💓

A Fathers Intuition

Rindou x reader

Warnings: Adult themes, Inappropriate language, Mature themes, slight smut, angst, pregnancy, birth, Fluff, it gets really sweet.

Rindou and Renzo Masterlist

Rindou should of known that months of unprotected sex would lead to only one conclusion - you pregnant.

But he still remained shocked with the evidence of this conclusion that sat in your hands.

"Rindou" you said quietly tilting your head down trying to snap your lover out of whatever daze his mind had him trapped in.

"Rindou" you called out again watching as his hands remained shoved into his locks, eyes wide and lip slightly trembling.

"Rindou"

Your heart began to sank at the realization that he would not reply to you. You knew that if he didn't speak then you would set him free with the only other choice.

"Rinnie we don't have to keep it if you don't want to"

And finally the thoughts that had him trapped in his mind had been crushed as your words finally reached his ears.

Rindou looked at your figure that stood before him, your head dropped down starring to the ground, eyes lined with tears threatening to spill any moment and the pregnancy test that you were happy to show him minutes ago lie on the floor.

"Don't say stuff like that" Rindou said with a groaky voice.

"Rindou don't just say things to make me happy, if this really isn't what you want it's best you say" you sniffled out.

"It's not that I don't want ... a baby... it's just I'm scared to have one" Rindou said walking over to where you stood.

"I'm scared I won't be a good father" Rindou said bringing his hand under your chin as he titled your head up to look him in his eyes as he spoke.

"Ran was all I had growing up. I don't know how to look after someone other than myself" Rindou said holding back tears.

"And I know its selfish to say that, but even you look after me more than I look after you"

"But I do want this baby, I'll try so hard to be a good father. I promise ♡" Rindou said as he placed a soft kiss to your lips.

Your first month of pregnancy was interesting, you and Rindou barely spoke about it. He didn't mention being a father again since the day you had told him and neither did you bring it up. The two of you went about your life as if you weren't growing a little life inside you, but all that changed on your first hospital visit.

You had insisted to go alone but still Rindou came with, and a part of you thought that it was only to show to you that he was trying (even if he wasn't).

And it had been half true Rindou didn't really care for the baby that was until he saw the small little being inside you, barely visible and yet it's heart was already beating. Calling out to Rindou.

Your second month was the complete opposite of everything you had experienced your first month. Rindou was all over you, seldom letting you do anything by yourself.

"Rinnie I can get dressed by myself"

"What if the baby gets scared when you raise your arms to slide your sweater over your head"

On the brightside whatever you wanted Rindou would get it for you, that new handbag you wanted, you got it. That new couch you liked you got it.

By your third month the morning sickness had finally kicked in, and many mornings you spent hunched over the toilet, but never alone as right beside you would be Rindou. Holding your hair back, rubbing gentle circle to your back as he spoke words of encouragement.

"You're so strong angel"

"Our baby is so lucky to have you"

And even when your morning sickness had begun to settle Rindou still spoke words of praise to you when the two of you would lie in bed.

By your fourth month, your cravings started. You would crave the oddest things, tuna and bananas, mash potatoes with chocolate sauce, chicken with olive juice.

And as much as Rindou tried to support your cravings he just couldn't stomach it at all.

"Baby, I love you I really do but I think I'm gonna throw up if I see you eat fish eyes with sprinkles again"

"Rindou between the two of us which one is pregnant" you asked with a raised brow while you held your carrot smothered in peanut butter.

By your 5th month your bump was much more prominent than before, and Rindou constantly admired it. Running his hands over the bump as the two of you lied in bed.

"You think the baby can feel when my hands are over it" Rindou asked as he raised head from your tummy, with his hand still gently placed on top of your growing womb.

"I'm sure the baby can" you replied as your hands continued playing with Rindou's hair.

"Wonder if the baby can hear me too?"

"Hey! Baby! Can you hear me?" Rindou screamed at your bump, causing you to slightly pull at his hair.

"You don't need to shout, Rin!" You barked back at him.

"Well you're shouting now, (Y/N)"

When your 6th month had come you still felt the same but now with a slightly bigger bump, but to Rindou you were glowing.

It was as if you were an angel standing in the light of the moon whenever Rindou looked at you. His heart beat would speed up and his eyes would sparkle with wonder. He had fallen more in love with you than he ever imagined.

"You're so beautiful" Rindou said as he kissed your bare shoulder, as you sat nude in his lap.

"The most beautifulest creature to come to earth" Rindou said gently thrusting up into you as you moaned out at the feeling of his hard cock pushing against your swollen walls.

"So beautiful" Rindou whispered out as he held your body close to his as he fucked you from below, enjoying the feeling of your warn wet walls sucking him deeper.

By your 7th month Rindou had finally decided to tell Ran, after keeping your pregnancy a secret for many months.

"Didn't I fucking teach you to wrap it up Rindou or should I say Rindumb" Ran said with a irritated expression as he sat on the couch opposite you and Rindou.

"Ran, we want the baby you idiot" Rindou said as he began to rub his temples to relieve his brain from his brothers stupidity.

"Oh, well in that case I apologize and congratulations. I get to be an uncle" Ran said now with a massive smile on his face.

Ran watched as a lovesick Rindou looked over at you gently placing a hand on the protruding bump from your dress and gently placing a kiss on it and then one on your lips.

By your 8th month was when Rindou decided to start the baby's room. He spent millions of hours and money preparing the room so that your little baby would have the best room in your massive house. You barely saw much of Rindou then as he was constantly in the baby's room hammering at something.

"Fuck!" You heard Rindou scream, causing you to quickly get up from the bed to rush to the baby's room.

"What happened, are you okay?" You asked with a shaky tone.

"I'm fine angel, I just hit my hand with the hammer"

"You don't need to come rushing everytime I get hurt" he said walking over to where you stood at the doorway.

"You like it?" Rindou asked as he watched the way your eyes flickered around the room.

"It's blue"

"Yeah for our little baby boy" Rindou said as his hand came down to your bump.

"How do you know its a boy?"

"A fathers intuition" Rindou said as he looked you in your eyes. You watched as his eyes glistened with joy and wonderment, and your heart fluttered at hearing him refer to himself as a father.

By your 9th month it became a waiting game. Every sound of pain you made had Rindou running towards you thinking you had gone into labor.

"Is that the baby?!" Rindou asked screaming as he run as quickly up the stairs as he could.

"No Rindou for the thousand time it's not, I just pricked my hand while I was stitching the babies socks I was working on" you said raising the small sock in your hand to your panicky lover.

"Oh my bad" Rindou said with a chuckle as he made his way back down the stairs, letting you enjoy some personal time.

As you had become quite fond of personal time lately, it wasn't that you were tired of Rindou, rather it felt like your mind was preparing you for when you would finally meet the child who was half you and half Rindou - your perfect child.

You smiled at the thought of how your child would look.

'Maybe it'll have Rindou's eyes' you thought, but soon every thought left your mind as you felt your sheets become wet beneath you and an excruciating pain from within.

"Rindou!" You screamed out.

"Rindou!"

But all your were met with was silence, tears began to run down your face as your gripped at your bump trying to comfort yourself.

"See I took my own time getting here because I had a feeling you were testing me to see if I'd come running and disturb your sewing again" Rindou said as he finally entered your room seeing your hunched over figure on the bed.

"Shit" Rindou said under his breath realizing what was happening.

You couldn't quite remember what happened after seeing Rindou enter the room. One moment you saw him shuffling around the room grabbing items into a duffle bag and the next you were being carried to the car and before you knew it you were lying in a hospital bed with doctors surrounding you.

"Mrs Haitani you have to push" you heard a woman from between your legs, but your mind was still coming to terms with what was occurring.

"Angel you have to push now" you heard Rindou say feeling as his hand squeezed yours.

"What's happening Rin?" You asked groggily.

"We're having a baby" he said with smile.

But soon the sweet moment was interrupted as you felt the pain again.

"Mrs Haitani push!" The woman yelled.

And you began to push, grabbing Rindou's hand tightly.

"Rindou!" You screamed out pushing.

"I'm right here Angel"

"Rindou" you pushed again.

"I'm here angel"

"Rindou" you said giving another push.

"His here" you heard Rindou say as the room became filled with the sound of cries of a baby.

"He has your eyes" Rindou said as he watched you hold your baby close to your chest.

"But he has your chubby cheeks" you said raising your hand slightly to pinch at Rindou's

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Let me hold our baby now, you baby hogger" Rindou said as he gently picked up the baby in your arms.

"Hey I carried him for nine months" you replied as you crosed your arms pretending to be upset.

"Exactly you had him for nine months this is my first time with the little guy" Rindou said with a soft laugh.

You watched as Rindou held the baby close to him, rocking side to side. As he would peak into your sons blanket to sneak peaks at his face. You watched as the smile on Rindou's face grew bigger and bigger causing your own smile to increase in size.

"Hey Rin, how did you know he would be a boy" you asked, as you had once did months before.

Rindou moved his eyes from his son to you, watching as that same glow remained on you and then back to his son, as a soft smile spread across his lips as he replied.

"Like I said before, a father's intuition"

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umbrellacam · 8 months

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Post-Knightfall - Batboys and Domestic Chores

aka What To Do When Your Alfred Quits Because Bruce Is A Self-Destructive Dingus With No Regard For His Own Health And So Now You Suddenly Have To Adult All By Yourself

aka despite both being raised by Alfred from roughly age 9 onward, Bruce is still a completely helpless fumbling rich boy when it comes to domestic tasks, while Dick is very much not, lol.

Tim also starts out as a typical sheltered teenage boy who doesn't even know how to fold laundry... But fortunately for him, he has a new older brother to teach him what's what while they're partnered up during Prodigal! :D

...Sort of. Once Bruce is back and he and Tim are on their own, they both still fumble without Alfred or Dick around. Tim's embryonic domestic skills can't make up for Bruce being a sad wet cat re: household tasks, pfft.

In chronological order, starting after Bruce and Alfred have both fucked off and Dick and Tim are holding down the fort in Gotham as Batman and Robin:

DICK AND TIM

Batman #512 - Dick can cook! And he cooks for Tim :) Also, the house-robes are adorable, as always. Tim: "I can't believe you can actually cook..." Dick: "I like to eat." Tim: "So does Bruce - but he had to order Chinese last night." Dick: "That's where I'm one up on him - I've lived on my own without an Alfred. Still miss him, though... He was good for a lot more than cooking and cleaning." Tim: "Yep - but at least we don't have to miss him on empty stomachs."

Batman: Shadow of the Bat #32 - The Manor was thrashed after Bruce's fight with Bane, and was never cleaned up after Bruce's back was broken and Jean-Paul Valley took over as Batman. The Batbros are on the job! Dick (sweeping): "Bruce told me a story once: Two philosophers talked all day." Tim (blithely eating a banana): "And...?" Dick (tossing him the broom): "The mess was still there next morning!" Tim (grinning): "Message received and understood, Captain!"

Batman #513 - Timmy is amazed at Dick's mastery of the household arts! Tim: "Awesome - you can cook and do the laundry?" Dick: "Hey, if there's time, I may even putty some new panes in those smashed windows." Tim: "Blimey - does Alfred the Pennyworth know you've mastered all his domestic secrets?" Dick: "Who do you think taught him?" Tim: "Not to get too serious, Dick, but it's good to see you loose again - and good to see the Manor taking shape, too. Since Jean Paul didn't care about it and Bruce relies on Alfred, it looks like you can teach a trick or two the other Batmen couldn't."

Robin #12 - More Dick handling the laundry, and Dick flinging a towel in Tim's face - er, teaching him how to fold so that he can pitch in instead of sitting on the side and moping. Dick: "Does that mean that things are going smoother between you and Ariana?" Tim (mopily): "Not really. Every time I think we're finally getting along, something happens to change all that." Dick: "Welcome to the opposite sex, Tim." Tim: "Look at you with the laundry. You're going to make some woman happy someday." Dick: "Well, it's about time you learned to fold a towel." (throws one in Tim's face) Tim: "Hey!" Dick: "I can't do everything around here until Alfred gets back."

BRUCE AND TIM

Bruce is back! And he straight up sucks at all this stuff without Alfred, lol, and doesn't have a Dick to lean on like Tim did.

Batman: Shadow of the Bat #35 - Bruce attempting laundry in the washer (laundry strewn all over the room and bubbles ominously emerging from the machine), getting pizza delivery, and asking the delivery boy for limo service recs, lol. Delivery Boy: "Good afternoon, sir. Three-cheese special, right?" Bruce: "You don't happen to know a good limo service? Or anything about washing machines...?"

Detective Comics #685 - Bruce infamously ruining tuna fish sandwiches. Bruce: "Sorry about lunch, Tim. I'm not much of a hand in the kitchen. With Alfred gone I'm pretty much helpless." Tim: "It's okay, Bruce. How can you screw up a tuna fish sandwich?" (takes a bite) "Oh. That's how."

Detective Comics #687 - Bruce attempts to toss an Armani tuxedo in the washing machine because reasons. Tim: "Are you sure you know what you're doing, Bruce?" Bruce: "How dangerous can it be, Tim? Alfred never seems to have a problem." Tim: "Well, he makes everything look easy. What are you washing here?" Bruce: "My summer tux. It smelled like the river." Tim (pulling out the now-tiny tux jacket and smirking): "Guess you didn't know you were supposed to dry clean these things, huh?"

Batman: Shadow of the Bat #40 - The central heating system at the Manor has gone down, and Bruce is aghast that he (a) has to make a reservation with the maintenance man, and (b) it might take him more than a week to take care of it. Bruce decides to just fix it himself - I wonder how that went, lol. Bruce (hand to his forehead dramatically) : "A butler, at butler, my kingdom for a butler!" Tim (coming down the stairs into the basement): "Specifically Alfred?" Bruce: "Very specifically. He'd have had these central heating tyrants fixed in minutes. Losing Alfred has caused me as much pain as anything Bane did to me."

THE RETURN OF ALFRED! Yaaaaay! And more Bruce and Tim.

Batman #521 - More overflowing laundry shenanigans 😂 Bruce: "Not again, Tim!" Tim: "Honest, Bruce - I know I didn't go overboard on the detergent this time!" Bruce: "You mean you added detergent too--? After I already did it?" Tim: "Uh oh. Hey, I was only trying to help..." Bruce: "The mops." Tim: "Yeah...again." Alfred returns to Bruce and Tim both attempting to mop up, suds everywhere, including in their hair. To preserve both his and Bruce's dignity, he's pretended to come in answer to a Help Wanted ad that he himself placed in the paper, for a butler at Wayne Manor. Bruce and Tim both warmly welcome him home.

Detective Comics #689 - Batman and Robin pick the wrong rooftop to talk on, and startle a woman coming up to hang her laundry so badly that she faints, dropping and scattering the whole load. Robin: "She'll be okay. Just passed out." Batman: "I hate when this happens." Robin: "Well, what do we do now?" Batman: "How about demonstrating some of your new skills - the ones Nightwing taught you?" Robin: "Man..." He does, and the woman wakes up to her neatly folded items in her basket, while Bruce and Tim swing away. Tim (indignant): "It wouldn't hurt you to learn how to fold clothes, even though Alfred is back." Batman (grinning): "You know what they say about old dogs, Robin." Robin: "Right."

(All of these were published within a one year span, from November 1994 to September 1995. Very fun little recurring D-plot in the aftermath of Knightfall c:)

#long post #Dick and Tim #Bruce and Tim #Dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #dcu #DC Comics panels #Batman #Nightwing #Robin #DC Comics #Cam reads comics #Cam posts

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nanistar · 1 year

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may i ask why you hate mapleshade? like is it more of a fandom thing/author thing or do you just not like her character? sorry if thats a weird question lol

i think the idea behind her character is cool but the erins are the erins and they fucked it up imo. also the way the fandom treats any discussion about her and other characters in her book is so annoying i cannot stand going into the mapleshade tag on tumblr

which is a shame cause like i said, i really like the concept of her character and i feel like it had alot of potentional

not a weird question, i get it. i gotta start by saying i have no ill will against people who like mapleshade or even like the points i'm about to say. btw! sorry this is long i got really into it

starting chronologically (according to canon, not publication)(publication order is: all ivypool darkforest books (2011 and prev) crookeds promise (2011), great battle (last hope 2012, she permadies here) and maples vengeance (2015)

i actually really liked mapleshade's vengeance, all things considered. it comes last in the mapleshade storyline according to publication date, and up until then we really didn't know much about her, and i believe this is where she gets a personality other than "random DF lady" and "rude ghost villain". the erins are not good writers by any means, but i felt that mapleshade's internal monologue and the way she saw the world was genuinely pretty decent. they portrayed her as obsessive and manipulative and as an unreliable narrator. it was one of the first books i read upon returning to the fandom in 2018 and it was a thrill to read, because i hadn't been spoiled on it.

the erins have a habit of writing surprise/accidental pregnancies as plot points, which has the implication of like… flings/one night stands. it's best not to think about it. it's pretty obvious upfront that appledusk is not as in to her as she is in to him, but she doesn't see it. she talks about him in her narrations as a sweet and loving man and talks about their family and future together, but when we the readers finally see him, he's calloused and doesn't really care about her. i think she even sees him with reedshine at a gathering and gets mad before she thinks "oh he's just doing that so no one gets suspicious" (not quoting or anything, i havent read the novel since 2018) girl. their relationship was obviously just a fling to him, but to her they were in love. i liked the way this was written as opposed to all the other times in warriors weve seen a man have a hissy fit because a girl rejected him. (ashfur is the glaring example but also crowfeather, brambleclaw) her denial and refusal to accept what she was seeing (that she was the side piece) was the interesting part.

she has her children and then ravenwing spills the beans. why on earth would he do that? why would it benefit the clan or anyone? from a logistical standpoint, thunderclan lost 3 potential new warriors and mapleshade never implied she was going to riverclan. anyway, he didn't even have proof. he just assumed. i think he rightfully got what was coming for him, since if he would have kept his mouth shut, 7 cats including himself wouldn't have died. sorry mini rant i don't like him. anyway we know the rest of the story. kits die, maple kills ravenwing for telling her secret, she kills frecklewish for not helping (no, she couldn't have jumped in to save the kits without probably dying herself but she COULD have stood up for maple in thunderclan, and she was upstream so she could have yelled out and warned maple of the flood but im NOT getting into that and i dont care) and then she goes to kill reedshine but kills appledusk instead. did he deserve it? he was kinda a dick but mapleshade was like stalker-obsessed with him (i think she uses the phrase "my appledusk" in her narration but i might be wrong) after what was ostensibly a one night stand. perchpaw wounds mapleshade to the point where once she flees the scene, she dies of blood loss. cool

the story of a mothers love (and a mother's loss) is an age-old tale. in a franchise where all female characters are doomed to become boring cookie-cutter mothers, this loss and violent rage was awesome.

everyone told me to read crookedstar's promise, because it was the best super edition. i.. do not agree with that. tbh i thought it was long and boring and went nowhere. crookedstar suffered many tragedies in his life, and he lost everyone he loved, and then the book suddenly ends with him going "im ok (:" and dying. (i was reading a pdf and not a physical copy so it was VERY abrupt for me. i legit sat there like.. so that's it? i read 500+ pages for that?) i can't really blame mapleshade for this (since shes not real) but it does factor in. her idea of revenge against appledusk was to torture an injured baby? who then grew up and had no idea who the fuck appledusk was? why not raise him and give him the love he craved so that when the time came, he would be more likely to do her bidding?? her motives here make no sense. not super important. anyway.

and then she's seen occasionally in the dark forest and she tries to drown ivypaw for no reason once. idk she was obviously just a background character in these scenes (since they came first) but the fans saw a female in the dark forest and were like. thank god a woman. can you blame them. then the erins built her up from that.

anyway mapleshade has this generations long story of manipulating younger cats, and a POV book where she's obviously obsessive, controlling, stalkerish and chooses brutally uncommon violence as a way to get back at those who wrong her. (she unburies ravenwing's body so crows can eat it, and she uses adders to kill frecklewish, despite the fact the snakes could easily go for her.) she puts HERSELF in danger to do these things because she's impulsive, she justifies all her actions to herself by saying its revenge for her children and in the end, she pushes the last remnants of the kittens she thinks she's fighting for away. this is a cool story about a woman who's pushed to the edge and takes everyone down with her. for ONCE its not a man with deadwifepain.

and what does the fandom do

they girlbossify her. they fight over if she's in the wrong or not (she is. she killed people.) they take everything about her that made her compelling and turn her into "grr my husband cheated on me and me kids are dead. sad." she gets turned into the most basic, boring, cookie cutter "evil" lady. she kills people for fun and not because she had a reason to or a goal (in her mind). she suffers the most tragic kind of loss that there is and gets no time to grieve before she is run out of her home, and her reaction to this is pure RAGE, and the fandom turns her into this boring, slay QUEEN!!! (not the pregnant cat kind), always been evil, always been hardcore, ~So CrAzY~, "my eyeliner is sharp to stab men" girlboss. where's the nuance. where's the passion!!? she's a miserable, impulsive, manipulating failure. she blames others for her mistakes and bad judgment and punishes others for her shortfallings. she can't be vulnerable and broken, she can only cry because dead kids and then kill evil husband and evil husbands wife. she's even sometimes portrayed as like "boss" of the dark forest, wrangling all the men. barf.

so to answer your question, it's the general fandom* portrayal that i hate, but i honestly wouldn't trust the erins with her at this point. (the erins are influenced by their fans, for example (old person voice) back in my day, firestar and scourge being brothers was just a fan theory.) i'm glad they permakilled her in the great battle so they cant bring her back to ruin anything. actually thinking about her to write this out and reflect on why i don't like her made me sympathize for her. i like text mapleshade with a little bit of fanon sprinkled in for flavor.

and hey. usually when the fandom adopts a character, they're right. the fandom likes to get really in to random bg/side characters and give them lives they would never have in canon. but sadly (or not, depending on your opinion), when those get popular and breach containment, they spread everywhere and suddenly people think this IS canon. look at how many of us thought that brambleclaw killed hawkfrost directly after he killed hollyleaf, because that was the easy way to portray the great battle in MAPs, only to have someone point out, years after this has become the common sequence of events, that brambleclaw actually hunts him down, brings him back to camp, and then murders him POW style!!!

*btw. im in no way saying that all mapleshade-based projects or aus or whatever are bad, even if she is sexy girlboss in them. some of my favorite maps portray her like that.

anyway. TLDR:

everyone say "i'm sorry mapleshade"

#mapleshade #sorry this is long and if i got facts incorrect i dont really care #apologize to mapleshade for what weve done

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theman-and-themachine · 1 month

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HELLO WILLRY HEADCANONS WHAT ARE THEY

I HAVE SO MANY WILLRY HEADCANONS DUDE. UH UH UH I REQUEST YOU TO ASK MORE SPECIFIC QUESTIONS IF U WISH. But i will blabber for now.

I will go... chronological. Maybe. Very undetailed/detailed in specific and nonsense ways.

THEY MET IN COLLEGE BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DID. Henry coming from literally like 10~ years of prior homeschooling (could not go to school because. Its hell. and he had breakdowns often). William being shipped over straight from a boarding school.

Their uh. Aquaintenceship starts rocky. William is an angsty almost-adult that needs to control and bully and hurt things and weird people out to get a reaction. Henry is a thing that seems to have no limits, and does not bat an eye at literally any of William's behaviors(doesnt care or geniunely doesnt know that those behaviors are not appropriate (probably engages in some himself))

UH anyways general bullying turns to William annoyingly sticking his nose in Henry's business and going "is that your fursona?" "Yea" "thats cringe" "ok." "... tell me about it."

William gets feelings first. Henry gets feelings soon after.

William gets special interest in Henry(sort of. Mostly a joke but yknow what i mean). Foxy and SpringBonnie are developed around now.

Henry begins to trust William a LOT. he's geniunely interested in what Henry has to say and is extremely supportive of his projects. (Theres def.s some general belittleing maniupulation shit but yknow williams still an asshole, its not like he's a evil villian mastermind he's just an asshole teenager). Henry also hates William, who still picks on him and causes issues and-- aaannd aaand. They get into a fight, privately. Mostly because of Bill pushing his luck and Henry already being worn thin. William gets the shit knocked out of him (and all the sense knocked out, too.). Henry is mentally exhausted and shutting down.

They get to have their first weird intimate moment, or whatever it is like after you have a giant fight. William confirms his crush.

Jojo meets Henry. Henry loves Jojo and JoJo loves henry and theres lots of stuff i can say here but YOU ASKED FOR WILLRY SO: Henry likely compares how he feels about Jojo to how he feels about Bill, and realizes that they are... similar. Very similar.

(Jojo: here is my husbans and here is my husband's boyfriend)

Henry starts to think about (genderly ambigious) springbonnie and projects some feelings onto it.

William's grossness never left but presence of Jojo gets him angry and jealous and Generally swings from I HATE HENRY to HENRY IS LITERALLY MY SAVIOR constantly. Habit starts and never ends.

ANYEAYS ANHWAYS TAILEND OF COLLEGE i think their most important bonding moments are while creating.

Brainstorming ideas off one another. Henry spending ages constructing this perfect plan, measuring, constructing small prototypes, then doing the final thing all in one go. William starting with a spark, making it, adding on, removing, revising, until it's completed. And they both take the same time to do it.

Most of their conversations become the Diner and their Creations. Projecting thoughts and emotions through Fredbear and Springbonnie. "I'm having a kid." "That's awesome man, anyways how do you feel about the visibilty of the performer-eyes." "I think it's visible enough... another coat of paint would look better."

It defiently becomes a sort of safe haven fantasy world, for the both of them. William's already pretty troubled, and gets more stressed with family life. Henry's... also already pretty troubled, and gets a LOT more stressed with the death of Jojo(and his daughter to raise by himself).

I do think Charlie spent a lot of time in the workshop (garages). I still think she was neglected pretty hard lol BUT henry fucking loved her he just is bad at being a bad. Go pay attention to your kid u jackass.

Anyways i think Fredbear+SpringBonnie are developed into their fantasy. I want to live out my days, just you and me, happy and bantering forever.

And then William's youngest dies.

Fredbear = Henry. Henry created everything, William might fancy himself the mastermind but Henry was the one who physicay created everything, who kept up maintence, who killed his son.

William could never bring himself to hurt Henry. Henry is part of HIS fantasy, if he'd destroyed him then William would have nothing left.

He needed this world more than anything else. He needed it to be everything, to retreat into it. He needed Henry to follow him, to abandon the real world that he was still, barely, tethered to.

Pspspspsppsspss charlie cmere.

okayOKAY MOSTLY DEPRESSING AFTER THIS but i do rlly think Henry is still very much ALSO attached to Fredbear and SpringBonnie and their world.and you knoe the guy has dreams(and nightmares) about it constantly. He runs Fredbear and Friends on the tv in the background and sobs into his beer bottle.

Theyre weird together. Heart emoji. I geniunely do think they love eachother. Henry still loves the Bill he knew.

#willry #dottxt

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skrs-cats · 6 months

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Loved mudclaws manga his interactions with clanmates and family members were so nice to see vs him in the main arc books we never got any of that just him being antagonistic oh man good luck it took me months to get through all the earlier books, i started at tpb and then went chronologically according to the events timeline on the wiki, it was fun but so time consuming, seeing snippets of the new books makes me feel like im missing out i wanna KNOW but i dont want to spoil myself too much se or novella set during pot3 when please erins i am BEGGING the only thing other than the arc books to happen during pot3 was a graystripe manga YEA i had to look on the wiki to find that i havent read all the bonus scenes i dont have the versions of the books with them and i forget to look them up most of the time lol, glad they stopped making them theyre a pain to find, i know it makes sense for jay and lion to not be as close anymore especially with lion having a family of his own but it bothered me that all these med cats who didnt even seem to like jay that much were the ones to help him, we didnt even get to see him tell lion about it </4 lion would have wanted to know about holly sometimes it feels like the authors dont like the characters 😭

i remember SPEEDING thru the books once i got my grubby lil hands on the pdfs, idk how long they all took to read but i think reading them so fast just made it all the more easy for me to muddle up details hkjhdskjfha if i ever get around to a reread i might just take my time on it. ALSO I FEEL YOU LOL. sometimes i go thru the wc tag and seeing people talk abt the new books gives me the same feelings HAJHAHA i just power thru it by drawing my po3 bastards (surprisingly effective) and go on w my day

as someone who's freshest memory of the recent arcs were snippets of the sibs Bonding and Caring for one another I REFUSEEE TO BELIEVE THAT JAY AND LION ARE NOT CLOSE ANYMORE IM DYING ON HIS HILL. the erins constantly play w my feelings like sometimes theyd drop these awfully sweet scenes of the two being affectionate w one another but then the bonus scene drops and im like... did u forget about lionblaze. wheres my MAN ToT i will also confess that my somewhat recent rediscovery of the bonus scene actually pushed me to make a comic where lion talks to leaf in starclan out of SPITE. but im working on it lol. IF THE ERINS WONT DO IT THEN I WILL

#ask #art

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nayeonline · 5 months

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My Top 15 K-Pop Songs of 2023

I genuinely don't know how, but somehow we have made it to December 10 2023, exactly 1 year after my top songs of 2022 post which I've decided to make a permanent thing on this blog. This year I was a lot more organized with formulating this list - I created a spotify playlist in January, and any kpop songs I cared about this year I added to it in chronological order. This list includes songs released between 2022/12/10 and 2023/12/10, and is entirely based on my personal opinion - feel free to let me know ur top songs of the year in the comments and rbs <33

(15) BYOB (bring your own best friend) (English Ver.) - Billlie

I just know some eyebrows are being raised but HEAR ME OUT, this song just speaks to me. It’s not a club banger, it's not an anthemic stadium hit, but it is something for the girlies, and I love it.

(14) Girls' Capitalism - TripleS LOVElution

What a hilarious concept for a song, TripleS is too good. Is this song literally just ‘Generation’ the sequel? Yes! I don’t care!! It’s really good!!!

(13) Standing Next To You - Jungkook (BTS)

Now I’m not an army, and none of Jungkook’s previous singles really spoke to me, they were catchy of course but not for me. This song, on the other hand, is artistry. His passion for what he does is so obvious in this song, I am severely impressed.

(12) Spicy - aespa

Aespa just KNOWS how to do a concept. So many other groups would feel stagnant with the futuristic concept, but aespa keep reinventing themselves perfectly while retaining a sound that is so distinctly them. Spicy is peak girl pop; Ningning you outdid yourself on this one.

(11) Drama - aespa

Can aespa release a bad title track??? Drama would probably be higher if it came out earlier, but based on the month I’ve been listening to it, this is an absolute punch up for aespa. Our stint in the real world was fun and all, but we’re in kwangya again and it feels fucking good. Aespa, keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll keep streaming.

(10) Fast Forward - JEON SOMI

People didn’t like this song this year, but I fucking loved it and this is my list. As a UK resident and 80s music enjoyer, this spoke to me on a molecular level. I know it's trashy, I know it's been done before, I don't care. Fast Forward is amazing.

(9) In Bloom - ZEROBASEONE

Category is: Boy Group Kpop (but it's actually good). Pure excellence, this is how to sample a classic song, this is how to debut, this is how to break the mold of boy groups and do it with actually good music (cough cough boynextdoor cough cough). Imagine if they kept this energy for their first comeback. Imagine lol

(8) Cherry Talk - TripleS +(KR)ystal Eyes

People (including tripleS stans) loooveee to shit on this song but it’s literally their best song since Generation, and I will stand by that. This is extremely LOONA coded, if you don’t like it, that must suck for you. BOOM CHERRY TALK CHERRY CHERRY TALK.

(7) Cool With You - NewJeans

They’re literally too good. I have no words.

(6) ETA - NewJeans

NewJeans said this year that being consistent hitmakers is easy actually, this song is fucking excellent. Controversially, I love the production, it's so funky and subversive. I got this song from day dot, if you get it you get it, if you don’t you don’t, and if you don’t I feel sorry for you xx

(5) Attitude - fromis_9

This is fromis_9’s second time showing up very high on my yearly roundups, I’m thinking I need to pay more attention to them. This song is the shit I live for in kpop, its SO HIGH QUALITY. Not a second wasted in this song, just pure goodness throughout. Fromis’s ability to be so extremely on trend never ceases to amaze me. This song is really fucking good, and the whole album is too good as well. Fromis_9, you have my attention. (that actually wasn’t on purpose lol)

(4) Air Force One - ODD EYE CIRCLE

Utter euphoria. That’s what this song feels like. LOONA had a rough 2022, and orbits were feeling it. We were boycotting and fighting for the girls to be free of that fucking company, and when we won, we were happy of course, but mostly exhausted. Then Odd Eye Circle dropped ‘Air Force One’. This song feels like a second wind, it builds up and up from the first second, tension rising, exhaustion fading and then ‘ready set and GO’ and its ANTHEMIC. You can exhale now, the work is done, LOONA is fucking back.

(3) OMG - NewJeans

Oh look, more NewJeans. The audacity to release one of the best songs of the year on January 2nd is crazy. ‘OMG’ is so effortlessly catchy, it’s ridiculous. It’s full to the brim of hooks and creative melodies, this is pop music at its best. It’s serotonin in a song, and the ability and self assurance of the members in their skills is palpable, and oozes from the seams of the track. In a somewhat forgettable year of Kpop, NewJeans were constantly reinventing and redefining what a hit is, and OMG is the physical form of that. Congratulations NewJeans, nobody is doing it like you.

(2) Sugarcoat (NATTY Solo) - KISS OF LIFE

I am being deadly serious when I say this song altered something in my brain. I struggle to comprehend how much I love this song, and I’m struggling even more to express that in words. I found Kiss of Love’s other debut songs to be quite fun, but this song eclipses anything they have ever and will ever release. Natty is such a powerhouse, I am in awe of her skill. If you haven’t heard this song, which is upsettingly likely as while this song had a moment on TikTok earlier this year, it was still a quite niche trend that didn’t last long, PLEASE go and listen, this was the best song released in 2023. But, this list doesn’t just include 2023. It also includes that tiny window after December 10 when literally no one releases music. No one except…

(1) Ditto - NewJeans

Ditto is one of those songs where you listen to it for the first time and you’re left a little bit speechless at the end. I don’t think I’m ever going to forget this song, or how it makes me feel. Ditto has changed the kpop industry forever, and it will go down in history as a defining moment of the genre. It’s melancholic and nostalgic and heartfelt, it's laughing through your tears, it’s hugging your best friend before you go your separate paths in life. I still get a little tug on my heart whenever Hyein’s beautiful intro vocals come in, and I think I always will. NewJeans, you’ve released a lot of amazing music this year, but thank you especially for this one, I’ll love it forever.

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spacelazarwolf · 1 year

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Tw for te/rf rhetoric/beliefs. Apologies in advance for how long this is lol.

I wasn’t fully in the terf cult, Ive maybe talked to one terf and then backed out when she gave me really sketch vibes about how she felt about trans men (which I wasn’t, but it felt predatory and gross and I didn’t wanna be around it). but I did fall into kink-critical radical feminism when I was a teenager because my trauma around patriarchy and extreme discomfort around any nuance within sexual dynamics made kink critical conversations feel sensible. Like of course I should be critical of kink that can take advantage of and abuse consent and condition you to let awful degrading things happen to your body under the guise of consent because the person doing that to you has no reason to be turned on by your powerlessness and if you get off on that, you’re someone we should be concerned about. I was seventeen.

Kink-critical turned into, very quickly, “if you were raised as a man/amab, you’re dangerous to women/afabs because of that gender power differential in patriarchy” which turned into “it’s pretty suspicious that trans women want an opt out of being misogynistic and sexually exploitative towards afabs” because it’s “okay now that she’s a woman” which turned into “trans men Are men but they’re still afab which means they’re basically just women still” (but not in the cool bigender way, but in the gross terf way). This didn’t happen perfectly chronologically or linearly.

While I never misgendered a trans woman and never wanted to take away their rights or ever believed she was a man invading women’s spaces, that conditioning still stuck and I’m still trying to unlearn it and it’s still really hard to undo all that programming. These days, I still have to catch myself all the time. It really seeps into you if you’re not careful. And it all started with someone validating my trauma around consent and patriarchy at 17. Terfs and radfems do not have good intentions, but their words look pretty if you’re not careful. Even if they don’t start off believing trans women are predatory evil masterminds. You cannot always trust your gut instincts about certain things because your gut instincts were not formed in a vacuum devoid of biased conditioning and if they can validate one (understandable) concern you have, they can turn that against others and they will.

It isn’t your fault if they target you but it is your responsibility to make sure you hold yourself accountable for the choices you make from then-on. Being a victim is, surprise, not mutually exclusive from holding bigoted behavior that needs to be checked. But we also need to stop alienating every single person who isn’t pure of heart and mind and soul because literally nobody is. Sorry for the ramble.

yup, like at a certain point you have to sit with yourself and figure out: do you want there to be less bad people or do you want to hate the bad people? which option will cause you less pain in the long term? the answer is probably there being less bad people. and this is where internet 'i don't owe you emotional labor' activism has really fucked us over. because should marginalized people have to sit there and explain to their oppressors why we are human beings? absolutely not. but will we have to do that sometimes if it means they get deradicalized and join the fight for liberation? yeah. and obviously, when possible, it should be allies doing this work. but sometimes you're gonna have to get your hands dirty and it's gonna suck. but sometimes you are going to change someone's mind, and it will be worth it.

#ask avishai

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moonstruckloverwritings · 1 year

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Can you please do something with Yandre! Peter Parker and a reader who just fully accepts it? I reader your general headcanons and loved like the sweet side of things lol. Like she thinks she’ll hate it but she hasn’t got to do anything and can research stuff she’s interested in (like History), and then Peter comes home and she just gets love and someone cares for her. idk, hopefully my message is put across well lol. Thank you!

Yandere! Peter Parker With Accepting Reader

Hopefully this is adequate for what you requested. I hope you like it. Also, I just wanna explain that I imagine this to be the Peter Parker who’s living in his own apartment at the end of the last movie. 🕷♥️

Ooo I love this idea. But you’re right he would be really sweet. I think the only times a yandere tendency would come into play with him is when you were in potential danger of harm by someone else, in potential danger of being taken by someone else, and when he’s had a bad day and just wants to indulge in you.

I see that last one happening a lot with the work he does. But I’ll come back to that later and just go in chronological order; by events.

When he first takes you and you begin to heavily hesitate, he understands. He’s not a delusional yandere. He would know this is a big change for you that you had to get adjusted to and he’d do whatever you want to make that more comfortable. (Except for going back home that’s out of the question)

He would definitely try talking to you about things first. Your worries about the situation, things to make the transition easier, rules, punishments with an emphasis on how he’d never physically hurt you though because he never wants to see you upset.

“Well we can go over everything to maybe ease your mind.”

“Um.. not right now but if I know I can trust you then later you might can talk to your friends and things.”

“I’m sorry.. I don’t want to make this miserable for you. Is there anything I can get you that you like that’ll make it easier to be in here? You like history facts? Ok, I’ll pay for the history channel and get some books for you. What kind of history do you like? Heh, there’s a lot of it”

“well I do have some basic rules that I have to go over with you but again, they won’t be permanent if I know I can trust you.”

He would get a part time job to fund everything he needed for you. You ask and you shall receive!

After the tension has settled down between you two and you become more open to the idea. He would slowly introduce new aspects. He’ll come home showing you his new Lego set and asked what you found out about history that day. Spending general time together makes him, well, giddy.

He would think about introducing physical touch but was still weary of how you would react. He knew you were probably still adjusting but.. he just wanted to hold you.

“Hey uh.. can-can I hug you? If not I understand I just..I want to.”

If you said no, he’d totally respect it and wait til you guys felt a bit closer to ask again. But if you said yes, prepare for cuddles!

Remember when I said he’d want to indulge in you after a bad day? This is where that comes into play. I 100% can imagine him coming in with cuts and bruises and those puppy eyes just wanting to cuddle. He’d deny any treatment you’d offer at first. He’d just want to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle his head into your neck or even lap. Very golden retriever, this guy.

“I’ll get the first aid kit in a minute, I just… can I lay with you for a little while.. please?” 🥺

He would cook breakfast for you before he left, have a mini fridge with drinks and snacks for when he’s gone, and would come home to make dinner for you. He didn’t know much about cooking before, he learned to cook just because of you.

He’d clean the room as well and would ask you didn’t do anything too strenuous. Leave it up to him. That’s what he wants. He wants to take care of you any way you’d let him. If you one day asked him to comb your hair, he’d almost jump with glee then calm down enough so he can be incredibly gentle when combing. He did not want to tug on it or hurt you so it would take him a while and he’d go really slow. If you asked him to hand feed you, he’d love to and make sure to blow on each bite before feeding it to you. He’d get a little anxious not knowing if what he was doing was good enough though. If he was combing your hair and there was even the slightest tug, he’d gasp and ask if he hurt you. Or if he was feeding you and you grimaced or your facial expression faltered, he would turn into: 🥺 that emoji with the puppy eyes and ask if it was too hot, cold, or if you didn’t like it. So, in other words, he’s extremely, if not overboard in his attentiveness.

But it’s all for you and because he loves you. He just wants the best for you!

After your relationship developed and he could completely trust you, he’d allow you more freedoms. He’d at first allow you to text one, just one, of your family members of your choice just to take it slow for now. He will also be watching over your shoulder. He’d gradually allow more freedoms with who you spoke to. He’d then allow you to go out into town with him once your family knows you’re okay and that, “you just needed time alone.” Although you had to by with him every time you went out in town but he would buy you absolutely anything you wanted. One of the big freedoms he’s kind of scared to give you is to see your parents again because of course, he’d have to be there and that means he’d be meeting your family. What if they don’t like him? What if they try to take you away from him? He would express these feelings to you and ask what you thought as you knew your parents and what they’d accept in their daughters partner.

Also, quick note. He acts very much in the dating phase but in his head he thinks (knows) that marriage and kids are going to happen with you guys at some point. Like it is just natural information in his mind. So while he’s easing you both into more scenarios/freedoms/situations, he already sees you as his wife. He always had. He is committed to you and nobody but you.

Hopefully everything went well with your family and friends and they all got along with Peter. Otherwise you might “need to take a break” again. Contact via cell phone would still be open with them, but no way in hell were they going to separate you both. Unless you can convince them to think otherwise.

He just wants to be with you. Nothing is going to change that from happening. As long as your friends and family accept that, you’re life will be lived happily ever after.

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candyfloss-esophagus · 3 months

Note

Heyo, it's me! Not being late for once!

Okay, ask game time! (not holding back this time so get ready!)

These are all for Crying Wolf, cause I'll never be normal about it <3

☼

☄

✄

♡

☠

☾

☽

∞

★

(I know you've answered similar questions about the fic before, so feel free to skip those if you don't wanna answer them again <3 )

Hey, thanks for the ask!! I'm sure I have answered similar questions in the past but fortunately for you, my brain is a sieve that has been thrown over the edge of a waterfall.

☼: how i came up with the idea

I didn't actually come up with the idea all by myself, I'm part of the noirpunk discord server that regularly has little round robin fics and snippets that everyone can add onto. In its very early days, we were discussing what would happen if there were a symbiote that was virtually undetectable (and also, tangentially, what would happen if Hobie became infected) and I was so intrigued by this concept that I asked to use it in an actual fic!

☄: what the writing process was like

Arduous. Writing is like pulling teeth for me lol and Crying Wolf is certainly no outlier. I wrote chronologically whenever I had the time to sit down and think about it, but I had it vaguely planned out from the get-go. The only thing was that I added in another chapter -- chapter four was never meant to exist! I was going to shove everything that happened in chapter four and five in together but that seemed like a little much.

✄: something i deleted before the final draft

I post on a chapter by chapter basis because I'm too impatient to keep an entire wip to myself (trying to change that!) but there was going to be a scene where the symbiote was explicitly purged from Hobie. I decided not to write it because of medical semantics and how it would have made it even longer and also because my mental health was like a raft strapped together by duct tape at that point in the year.

♡: my favorite part

My favourite part is the end bit and Peter's conversation with Hobie because that was the thing that the server went into most detail about when we were cooking up the whole concept. I love thinking back to that night so much!

☠: something i found challenging

Fucking writing the damn thing lol. Motivation is very tricky for me and finishing what I start is even moreso (ta adhd!) but we got there in the end!!! As mentioned before, writing is difficult for me and I'm not actually a very good writer so trying to get it to a standard that I felt honoured what we had originally come up with in the server was definitely a challenge.

☾: how i thought people would respond to the fic

I.. didn't? Getting comments is so incredibly rare and special to me and the fact that I get so many purely because I write the most for noirpunk on ao3 is WILD.

☽: how people *actually* responded

Well they responded for a start lol. I got veritable essays on how bad I made people feel and theories for how it would progress and how well done the whole thing was and people from the server cheering me on and even one person who only investigated for the cannibalism, and were grossed out by it which is incredible. It was just a torrent of warmth and love and it was so confusing to me at the time but so important now looking back. It was an awful time for me and my life and having all those comments and responses was so special.

∞: something i wish i’d done differently

I read back on it a few days ago and it all seems so superficial to me now, so suffice to say most things and be done with it there.

★: something i’m proud to have accomplished

Just fuckin. Writing it. Finishing it. Impacting people's lives with it. That's why I write that's why I do this. And it was my first foray into more violent stuff so I'm glad I started it by diving in headfirst instead of just dipping my toes in.

Thank you for the ask! Ask game for any other fics of mine that you care to hear about is here, the fic Crying Wolf is here, and I hope you have a lovely day!!

#fiepige #ask answered #esophagus speaks #noirpunk #ask game #atsv #atsv fic #behind the scenes with esophagus

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jtl07 · 6 months

Text

jtl07 fics, fall 2023, pt 1

Been liking these recaps as a means for reflection so here’s another one for the past two months. (Likely going to be quiet here - I’m still around and writing, just the pendulum has swung the other way so gotta ride some stuff out)

General stats

Total on this pseud: 8 (all Warrior Nun fandom - I swear I have SuperCorp fics in progress I just keep getting distracted lol)

Fics posted (chronological order):

so different now from what it seemed - or: a bittersweet reunion, a bittersweet goodbye

another little peace (restful pieces): a glimmer, a mystery - or: Camila notices something new about Beatrice

so live it - or: 5 times Beatrice never allows herself to want, to love (and one time she did)

i walked with you once - or: JC finds Ava, again - alive, and in love

another little peace (restful pieces): lead you (follow) - or: Ava is back and Beatrice follows

pocketful - or: Five times Beatrice re/discovers pockets

another little peace (restful pieces): home is (where you are; now) - or: Ava returns to her childhood home

we both know how this ends - or: Beatrice looks for Ava; finds Persephone instead

(More numbers, thoughts, and some plans below the cut)

More numbers

Total words: 13641

Shortest fic: 402 - lead you (follow)

Longest (one-shot): 2894 - pocketful

Average/Median word count: 1705 / 1795

Most hits + kudos (of this batch, thus far)

i walked with you once

so different now from what it seemed

pocketful

General thoughts

In comparison to the last review, numbers are down all around which is unsurprising considering a) how much I wrote in August (for me, there’s always a “trough” or “planting season” that follows that kind of output) and b) health stuff that decided to rear its head. While I’ve been prioritizing rest, I was still surprised that I was able to write as much as I did in October.

That said, I was admittedly frustrated a lot because I can literally feel my brain grasping for words but things being just out of reach. But I guess it’s a lesson of doing what you can with what you have. (Still, I’ll do my PSA: Be careful with your head! You don’t have to be unconscious to get a concussion! Post-concussion syndrome is a thing!)

But also because of this situation, I tried to just write for myself, which is why there’s such a wide range of stuff lol

Fic(s) that surprised you:

we both know how this ends - for sure wow - a lot of times I start off with a vibe and then a narrative starts to appear but this one kept me in the dark the whole time. I definitely didn’t expect the ending, which was a rare exercise in “action”

lead you (follow) - I had intended for this idea to be something longer but when I sat down to write, it ended up so short. I actually tried to make it longer but it felt complete in that it captured the feelings I had about the song that inspired it

Fic(s) that you’re proud of:

so different now from what it seemed - I have a weakness for amnesia fics lol. I was really happy with this one (probably because it was one of the only ones in this batch that flowed smoothly during the writing, which I know isn’t in my control but still) - I felt like I was able to get really close to what I had in my head when I sat down to write it. You can also tell that I was still under the influence of Stray Gods in some of the imagery lol

another little peace (restful pieces): home is (where you are; now) - I really liked how this turned tbh, something clicked here, and even though some of it was hard and I wasn’t sure what the ending would be until it was written, I’m happy with how the vibe carried all the way through. Tbh there were quite a number of times where I’d written down a nice line and then just stopped and squee'd at myself lol (it’s true that you’re your number one reader lol)

pocketful - tbh this is one of the many that left me frustrated (I wish it was tighter and there were plenty of passages where I struggled) but I was proud of myself for being patient with it, especially the ending, which had given me some trouble (I rewrote it a number of times before finally settling on what’s posted)

Fic that was the hardest to write / fic that you wish got more love:

i walked with you once - I mentioned in the author notes that I was inspired by another fic, so I had the idea in my head but figuring out the actual sequences were difficult. I think part of what went wrong was that I didn’t build up JC’s character - or rather, I’m still learning how to efficiently frame the perspective within the character in question while also making it clear who the story is really about when it comes to these kind of 3rd party observer fics

so live it - tbh I’m surprised this one is so low in terms of stats (I suspect it’s because it’s not explicitly avatrice) but I’m also not super happy with this to begin with. This was yet another fic where I was inspired by a different one (I guess “remixing” isn’t my forte/is a skill I’m still learning) and while I liked the idea of it, I wish it was tighter narratively - for example, having a sort of “leitmotif” that connects all the sequences.

WIPs in the wings

Hm so I mentioned last time that there’s a sister to every leaf that falls (never stops falling) in the works and that’s still true, just going very slow because I’ve got a ton of ideas for it, so it’s more an act of culling, pruning to keep everything centered on the theme. Everything else I mentioned is on pause because … brain.

What I have picked up, however, is a short piece for Veterans Day [edit: not sure if I'll do this one anymore, I just can't reconcile anything military right now] and a potential multi-chapter / long one-shot (I haven’t figured out which yet) that features some amnesia-ish elements - it’s gonna be a big challenge for me to write it, and will likely take me into next year if I’m able to stick with it. (I really want to do this because it’s always been a goal of mine to write something 10k - I know I have looks for you in everything (finds you there) but it wasn't all connected yknow?)

But in the meantime, there will likely be some random short pieces that will come up when I least expect it, which is how most of my writing happens lol

Anywho, as always, if you’ve read this far - or read any of my work! - thank you so, so much for your support. The community of it all really helps and I truly appreciate every kudo, comment, like, reblog <3

#my writing #jt writes fic #words about my words #avatrice #jt's fic recap

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chaoslynx · 2 years

Note

Hi chaos what are some of your favourite Eiji moments (from the anime or the manga, Eiji is awesome either way)?

EIJI MY BELOVED OMG

In approximately chronological order, just a very few top picks:

One of my top Eiji moments is in episode 5 when he fucking steals a cop car for the boy he met like a month ago??? And most of that time was spent with said boy being in prison. But Eiji, ride or die boyfriend that he is, is like "yeah he's worth a felony or three" right off the bat.

Episode 11, the way Eiji reacts to Ash telling him his backstory in his own words. I feel like this is a really important moment for both of them because up until now, Eiji knew a lot about Ash, but Ash hadn't chosen to tell it to Eiji. So here, this moment when Ash can tell Eiji in his own words and gauge his reaction is so so vital to the course of their relationship. And Eiji just ... "You're hurt. Really hurt. I can tell." Also in the manga version of that scene, after Ash's, "It doesn't have to be forever. Even if it's just for now," Eiji responds, "Forever."

Honestly episode 11 has so much of Eiji's caring moments, but we also get amazing shit like the classic AshEiji banter and them flipping each other off (in the manga equivalent). Iconic.

The "eat your own weiner -- or is it too small?" scene (manga exclusive, unfortunately) and uhhhh all of his other snarky comments. We love a boy who can banter.

Episode 20 has some more of my favorite Eiji moments:

"Don't apologize. That's for me to do. Let's go, boss."

THE SOUP SCENE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

The fact that Eiji brought THREE gangs together (Ash's, Cain's, and Sing's) in order to save Ash form Golzine??? Like. Eiji literally led three gangs at once for a while and united them under one cause. Holy SHIT y'all.

Anyone IRL who complains about Eiji missing Golzine in episode 20 has probably never shot a gun, much less at a real person, and much much less with someone they love being that close to the target. I can understand Sing complaining about it, since he grew up around guns and admires Eiji, but in general, I think Eiji did pretty well, all things considered???

When Ash says "I'll lead them away" and Eiji thinks about it for about a quarter of a second before fucking shouldering Ash out of the way and telling Cain to take care of him so that Eiji can lead Golzine's men away instead. Ash's panic in this scene gets to me so badly -- I can only imagine what Eiji would be feeling in that moment. Bones asks "Where are you going?" and Eiji responds "I don't know!" like his only fucking thought is how he can use what abilities he has to save Ash. Holy shit.

I'm crying I love Eiji so much y'all. Oh my god. There are so many more good Eiji moments so feel free to reblog with your favorites too -- these were just a few off the top of my head. Sorry if I got episode numbers or quotes wrong, these are all just from memory lol

#banana fish #eiji okumura #asheiji #answers #wonderingwhyiam #sorry this took so long to reply to!!!!#i have been a busy chaos and i didn't wanna halfass this answer

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dogueteeth · 9 months

Text

Tagged by @silvery-bluish to look for orange, hand, shout, and run in my WIPs! Thanks for this, it was so much fun, even if it was surprisingly difficult to find "shout" anywhere in my fics, meanwhile, hand(s) were everywhere!! Guess my fics are subconsciously channeling my obsession towards hands and aversion to shouting. What an odd and fun discovery!

I'll tag forward.... uhmmm... @wonda-fhr ! I can't think of many others who may be up for sharing WIP snippets since I'm still trying to match tumblr faces or AO3/discord. No pressure to participate and even if I didn't tag you feel free to mention me if you want to do the prompt below anyways!

Forward prompt: Sky, teeth, hate, red

My Prompts

orange

She wants to scream. Wants to down the bottle, wants to smash it on the ground, wants to grab a gas pump and coat the asphalt, wants to set a match and watch it explode and hear the screams echo into a silent, desolate world that will never hear them. Trees don’t make a sound when they fall. Not when there’s no one there to hear them. No one would know. It’s a back road in the middle of nowhere, in a nowhere town with nowhere people, people like her. People who the government pretends don’t exist.

The FEZ’s own not-people that they dump nuclear ash on top of because they’re virtual uninhabitants. People who exist where they shouldn’t because it’s inconvenient, in the middle of nowhere in nuclear testing grounds, and people who don’t exist because of that very fact. Still more ‘people’ than she ever will be. Still ‘people’ enough to make her angry. Make her bitter. Make her crave match and flame and ash on her tongue, on her clothes, hot and burning enough to peel the lines of neon orange from her flesh. Hot enough to melt through and eat everything beneath. Bite. Lash out. Tear.

Tearteartearclawriptearkilltakescreamwhydidn’ttheycomeforme—

An excerpt from stray. , a chronological collection of shorts surrounding Cerrísa Becerra and her times after the first & second escapes. This one is set after the second escape. can you feel my environmental studies training peeking through lol?

shout(s)

“Oh, yes, yes, we fucking do,” she growls, finally twisting around to face him, the movement harsh enough that it makes him pause. She’ll give him what he wants. He wants her to face him? Wants her to open up, tell him everything that’s wrong? Why she never told him? Fine. Ortega should have learned long ago to be careful with what he wishes for, because she’s going to make sure it blows up in his face spectacularly.

“I didn’t tell you because it could never happen!” She shouts, all thoughts of proximity discomfort tossed out the window as she lunges forward, her face almost directly against his chest and her neck twisted uncomfortably to glare up at him through foggy eyes.

This snippet is from an untitled WIP I never finished. Ortega and Isa talking about why she never told him that she loved him, post-guilty and potentially post-faker. I initially made it back when Isa had the Anger Motivation, but it's since been abandoned as I no longer feel that it's very accurate to her character.

run(ning)

How did they even make it out alive back then, running blind and recklessly? He doesn’t know, not anymore. Did they? Make it? Alive? Is he? alive?

He supposes that he never really left. He stands somewhere on the Palos Verdes coastline, the shore too damaged and volatile after The Big One for any houses or communities to remain or be rebuilt. Abandoned. Isolated. Too remote for most things to survive. His body, physical, impermeable, is here, but his mind is elsewhere. It always has been. Even out here, where he can spread his wings and live, he still doesn’t feel alive. Still feels trapped in that tiny cell of four white walls, isolated from the world. From others. The change in scenery hasn’t helped. The grass isn’t greener. The frog still remembers the well. He still doesn’t feel alive. Still doesn’t feel free, a butterfly that sacrificed its wings to escape the web. Still doesn’t feel real, not in the way that matters. But then again, he’s never felt that way, never felt that self-confidence and assuredness that his handlers would carry. The confidence that comes from knowing that you’re human. From knowing that you matter.

Excerpt from palos verdes blue, the prequel to another WIP (below). Since this WIP may be published very soon, I won't elaborate much other than it's in FHR universe separate from Sidestep's story! :3

hand(s)

Instead, Dennis’ hands carefully travel up his arms, slow enough that if Larry wanted to, he could pull away, bat his arms aside and run but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to run. He’s so tired of running. A small, delirious part of him wonders if he’s going to die like this, in the hands of a small, fragile human who could ruin his life in a heartbeat with the flick of a lightswitch, because he doesn’t have it in himself to kill, not this one, not this person, who, for a few small seconds, made him feel wanted, made him feel alive before his demons caught up to him. There’s nervousness and worry tinting Dennis’ motions as he convinces Larry to lower his hands. His thin, frail fingers rub small, soothing circles into the inside of his wrists, soft fingers smoothing over scars

Excerpt from sargasso sea. I debated on including the previous paragraph for context but. Ah. Hmm. Too spoilery? This will be published soon, anyways, after palos verdes blue.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!!

#wip #fallen hero retribution #fhr #fallen hero: retribution #fhr sidestep #fallen hero: rebirth #sidestep #my wips #wip fic #fanfic #oc #isa becerra #larry the regene #yes I know it's a lame name #don't judge him ok he wasn't decanted for his creativity

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