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astrologylunadream · 7 months

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Their Hidden Fantasies of You🥵👅🖤 [SPICY] (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream~ Here's a special reading this time on their hidden fantasies about you, yes you, enjoy~ hope you find your message♥️

(This one gets spicy beware🔥 darker themes included.)

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^v^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🖤♥️🖤♥️

Pile 1⛓

Pile 2🗡

Pile 3🏚

Pile 4🤝

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 🖤

Pile 1⛓

Sign energy: Choice, Distance, Crave, Important, Treat, Leo, Gemini, Mars, Sun, Neptune, 💁‍♀️👋👊🧛‍♀️

🖤Your person's energy: We have a lot of masculine energy right here so my pile 1's person is very bold and speaks their mind. You would describe them as "dreamy" and "hot" stuff like that lol so cute😍 Could he Leo, Gemini, Aries, or Scorpio, not really getting the Pisces vibe but for some of you maybe ヘ_(ッ)_/ Your person has a very fierce aura and they may have very intimidating features e.g arched eyebrows or a canine-like smile. They try to behave themselves and remain respectful, but I can tell they have it BAD for my pile 1!!🔥❤ Your person is giving off such a bad boy/girl vibe. They are so independent and no one can tell them what to do, they just do what they want~ They're a very physical person and they might sometimes get aggressive with you and lose control of themselves, this is only out of intense attraction for my lovely pile 1.😌 But they do their best to keep it together and not let their wild side get the best of them. Their voice is a huge turn on for you, and if they slick their hair back... that's when you loose it LOL🤣😳 Very strong willed individual, they have a great sense of self. The type to have a lot of admirers aswell.

💭Their hidden fantasies: Locked, Admiration, Force, Seduction, Closed, Sun, 5th house, Venus, Taurus, Virgo, 🧘‍♀️⛈🕸📆 OMGGG things just got heated in here😭😖 It's gonna be intense my pile 1's your person has some dark thoughts running around in their head. They're crazy about watching you give in, it drives them seriously. They wanna handcuff you, hold you down and force you to look at them/admire them😰😰🙊❤ Oh my gosh this is serious like they're crazy about you my pile 1... You're feeding their inner demons and aggressions they just want to unleash when you two are alone!! They want to seduce you and make you say their name... They fantasize about kissing your neck, and they wanna see how much you can take like wtf pile 1 your person is so intense and passionate about you like wow...🥵 They specifically want to make you nervous, they love the thought of you getting butterflies in your stomach as they literally consume you omg. They want to retrain and contain you while thrilling you every second... holding you down with a strong grip on your wrists as they please the hell out of you until you're moaning their name😭😭😭 Yes pile 1 that's what's in their head, and they're not telling ANYONE. Not even you... unless-👀

♥️Messages from your person: I don't wanna pressure you, I can see right through you, I can save you, It's karma, No one knows (This could be a karmic relationship you both are in together) Extra cards: Ladder, Dominant, Play, Darling, Clothes, Cancer, 6th house, Scorpio, Mars, 3rd house (WTF🥵🥱🌋⚠️)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the chains emoji~⛓ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading♥️

Pile 2🗡

Sign energy: Last, Lay down, Risk, Heiress, Model, South node, 7th house, Pluto, 3rd house, Gemini, 🪑🦉♋🐅

🖤Your person's energy: This could be an ex or someone from your past, it's definitely someone you have intense feelings about. I'm getting Libra or Scorpio oh hi pluto yep definitely Scorpio placements for sure.🎯 Gemini or Virgo could be in their chart or they could have these qualities. They could have Cancer in 7th house so Capricorn rising maybe!! Or Pluto in Cancer I'm seeing. Your person may be a model, they have very model-like features especially hands. I feel like you told yourself not to keep thinking about this person at one point, now here we are LOL👏💫 Your person has a very sexy appearance, you are really attracted to this person physically but also psychologically they make you 😈. They're the type to do what their told suprisingly, I feel like it's so easy to make them do whatever you want. You might not know this pile 2 but heyy now you know their little secret~ This person feels like a gamble to be with, you might feel like you're taking a huge leap of faith with them. They could be very rich or inherited lots of wealth from relatives in their family, they could he a future CEO of a company aswell. I'm getting some powerful vibes from my pile 2's person, they know what they're capable of.😌

💭Their hidden fantasies: Call, Yandere, Meant to be, Learn, Restaurant, 5th house, Eros, Neptune, 10th house, Fire, 👥🏃‍♂️🦥😩 Ohhh my pile 2 your person is totally obsessed with you and I mean (might kill) do anything for you🤭😳 They fantasize about the two of you together, sharing your experiences and everything with eachother. They can't stop thinking about calling you, they just wanna hear your voice!!🥰 Your person has suprisingly soft and sweet thoughts of you like hugging and cuddling while watching movies, eating out and walks on the beach.🌊 They actually just really fantasize about spending time with you and getting to know eachother better. But don't forget they're a little bit crazy over you too, like I mean yandere vibes over my pile 2's.😅😨 I feel like the second you two are apart they feel awful, like nothing else matters. They just wanna be around you and keep you forever. They fantasize about having fun with you, hoping you won't run away. They're addicted to you, and they secretly love the thought of moaning for you💭😳🖤 They have fantasies about you dominating them or putting them in their place, they get so turned on when you ask them to do something for you. They love being worthy for you, omg I feel like they also fantasize kissing/touching you when you're sleeping/unconscious. They fantasize of anyone that gets close to you simply disappearing, taking you all for themself.🥰🔪❤

♥️Messages from your person: Right now, You read my mind, I'm not as great as I appear, You have a lot to offer, You're pretty (Awwweee pile 2 did you hear that???😍💖) Extra cards: Audience, Work, Dance, Head, Only one, Leo, 11th house, 2nd house, 5th house, Libra

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the sword emoji~🗡 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading♥️

Pile 3🏚

Sign energy: Red, Care-taker, Shoes, Authority, Secret admirer, Uranus, Neptune, Sun, Cancer, Aries, 👅🌁🌊🙋‍♂️

🖤Your person's energy: My pile 3's your person is a very bright and charismatic person~⭐ They have a great smile that makes it hard not to smile back. Very strong masculine vibes, could have prominent veins or muscles. They like the color red and feel drawn to it. Very likely a secret admirer or has a little crush on you. They make unique expressions especially with their mouth/tongue. May stick their tongue out often, they have a very unique tongue (just saying🙄😈❗) They may live near a bridge or body of water. They like to "wave" at people a lot haha, very friendly and outgoing. They are a very dominant type and are very assertive but also caring protective over those they care about. Care-free and fun loving individual, Their father could be very intimidating or cold. Pile 3 your person has nice ankles/feet or you may stare at their shoes at lot (because you get nervous!!🤭😳). They have your back when you need them, very supportive and helpful. I feel like they work around animals or care for them often. The type to be a shoulder to cry on, and lighten your mood.☀️ Their chest is very attractive to you, they have a very masculine chest. Seriously they just have such a dominant attitude about them!!😫😉

💭Their hidden fantasies: Black, Keep a secret, Virgo, Ability, Meant to be, 6th house, Venus, South node, 10th house, Moon, 🌡🩺💅☀️ Ohhh you guys your person has some secret thoughts abt you!! They think about you guys' past a lot, and they fantasize about a hidden love affair between you two. They want you to do as they say, submitting to their dominance.😳🥵 They fantasize about owning you, making you their little pet, controlling you, they like imagining you with a collar/leash💀🥵🥵 They want to "keep" you. Leading you, being your "savior". Taking care of you, this all makes them horny af😭 Calling your name in a commanding way, "good girl/boy" and "you did well". They can't stop thinking about your 🍒🍑, they want to touch them, grab them... the list goes on and on. Tugging on your chain, Lifting your chin up, They fantasize about the sensation of your nails on their skin. Scratches and bite marks are all up in their imagination. My pile 3 your person thinks you're so hot and meant to be with them, they want you to be theirs!!

♥️Messages from your person: Don't underestimate me, I can't control myself, You make me happy, I do, No one makes me feel this way (Ahh so cute🥰) Extra cards: Peace, Distance, 10th house, First, Eyelashes, 3rd house, Moon, Gemini, Earth, Virgo

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the haunted house emoji~🏚 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading♥️

Pile 4🤝

Sign energy: Fashion, Think outside the box, Accusation, Only time will tell, First, Gemini, Water, 2nd house, Capricorn, Scorpio, 🎭💜😢🖌

🖤Your person's energy: I'm seeing a really cute person tbh their energy is just so lovely and sweet~ They may be a painter or like drawing, could be an artist. Fashion designer is coming through, they may be into clothing. They have many charms about them, but they can be very distrustful of others. They are quick to assume things about other people, making them disappointed in nearly every encounter with someone.👥 For some reason I'm getting thay they don't get along with Gemini's easily, they could have a lot of Gemini or Mercury influence in their chart, Scorpio mercury is likely. Could be Capricorn or Taurus, They could have Mercury in the 2nd house. For a lot of you this person is a Libra rising which makes sense because of the fashion, they like aesthetically pleasing things. This could be you they find pleasing pile 4~😊 You could be dating this person but for most of you I'm getting not yet in a relationship with them. I feel like your person plays around with you often and enjoys getting on your nerves. On the other hand, they might not outwardly express themselves on the surface, actually I'm getting for some of you this person only expresses their emotions through art or creative ideas. Only then will you see a glimpse of their true feelings.🤍🖤

💭Their hidden fantasies: Boyfriend, Attraction, Tease, Foreign, End, 9th house, Virgo, Air, Taurus, Sagittarius, 💉💎🆚️♋ Hmmm okayyy we got some heavy Sagittarius energy this could be a sign that they wanna explore my pile 4's to the fullest. Your person has fantasies of taking you to a foreign place/country far away, taking you on a crazy adventure just to have you all to themselves. I feel like the wanna see how much you can take, mentally and physically. So they're always teasing you, trying to get reactions out of you. They have fantasies of biting your neck playfully and watching you freak out, they love the thought of you blushing over them. They want to please themselves with you, and surprise you with crazy fun.🥵😝💫 They wanna try so many different new things with you, and you're their test subject. They want you to see them as hot and attractive, they just wanna get you on your knees for them.🔥 Playing around, wearing you down, kissing you roughly when you're weak and vulnerable. They fantasize a lot about these sort of things with you, Your thighs are a turn on for them, as well as your neck and stomach. They want to give you marks all over so you know you're theirs. They imagine you falling head over heels for them, this is what they want the most. They want you to be in awe over them, your devotion is their biggest fantasy. And they just wanna have a crazy wild fun time😈💥💋🎆

♥️Messages from your person: I can't control myself, Give me more, I can't take anymore, You deserve the best, Because of you, I have a lot to offer (Ahh they're so into my pile 4's😍) Extra cards: Vision, Emotions, Future, Red, Expand, Mars, Cancer, Venus, Water, 6th house (They really want a future with you, they want to stay with you. They're serious you guys!!💐💍🖤)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥀

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the holding hands emoji~🤝 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading♥️

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!🖤🌊🥀

Thanks for reading everyone! \(*^w^)/🖤 -Lunadream <3

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reallyromealone · 8 months

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Day sixteen 🎃 curroption

Pantalone x Barbara's brother male reader

Warnings: male reader, nsfw, smut, slight dubious consent, tough sex, blowjobs, facials, bottom male reader

Masterlist

(Name) hummed as he wandered the path, currently on a pilgrimage throughout the countries to give prayer to the gods and learn about the other lands beyond his own, dressed in winter clothes he was thankful he brought //imagine Barbara's outfit but fur lined and more masculine// as be looked through the endless winter before him.

Snezhnaya was not far off from what he was told but he found the cold almost delightful as the snow crunched beneath his shoes.

The young Deacon looked for a church or Cathedral of anything throughout the city when he noticed up high on a hill was a grand cathedral "thank goodness..."

"Excuse me?" A young girl dressed in fur lined clothes asked "who are you?" She asked curiously and (name) smiled warmly "I'm a Deacon of Mondstadt, I'm currently on a pilgrimage" he said with a kindness like no other, an emotional warmth radiating off him and giving a sense of safety.

"Really? That's so cool?" The girl said wide eyed and the two were unaware of Fatui guards taking notice of this and bringing the information of a Mondstadt Deacon in their city to Pantalone.

(Name) was in awe at the country and despite its unforgiving weather the people were kind to him, regarding him warmly as he made his way to the cathedral.

"Pardon me, are you the Deacon I heard of?" A deep elegant voice rang out, catching (name)s attention to the tall man with a false smile "hello! Yes, my (name) is (name)! A pleasure to meet you!" Pantalone noted be couldn't be older than 19, a bright and cheerful nature and radiating innocence and purity.

Pantalone wanted to own this adorable bunny.

"What brings you to our fair country little Deacon?" The spectacled man asked with false curiousity, trying to get information from the pretty boy who beamed and told him so honestly what he was doing "very noble of you, you must make those at home proud" Pantalone comments and (name) shook his head "I don't do this for the praise of others, I do it for the gods... They all deserve prayer and kindness..." He said genuinely and Pantalone was a greedy greedy man.

"Would you like to join me for dinner?"

Pantalone was selfish and greedy as he took in the others form as he watched (name) take off his coat to reveal how wonderful he was on the eyes.

"Thank you very much for inviting me! You have a beautiful home" (name) said genuinely and Pantalone imagined how wonderful he would look perched on his lap or spread in his bed dressed in barely anything or better yet nothing at all.

(Name) stared at him with his full attention, as if he were the the gods the Deacon prayed to.

"I must confess... I didn't ask you to join me to dinner for innocent reasons..." A false remorse making (name) look confused but let him continue "you see I was entranced by your beauty..."

He was entranced by his beauty, his innocence and would make an excellent lover to him.

"I must say... I find you quite handsome" (name) was flushed as he looked away, embarrassed at his confession only for the man to pull him closer "that's very sweet of you to say" Pantalone gently took his chin with his index and thumb "you're so beautiful..." He whispered before taking (name)s lips, pulling him into his lap fully and hands wasting no time touching "w-wait..." (Name) gasps, clinging and already debauched from a kiss "t-tgat was my first..."

"Kiss? Tell me... Have you ever bedded a man before?"

"I... I never..."

Pantalone grinned as he moved so (name) was under him and wasted no time recapturing his lips, determined to break his brain till he could only remember the feeling of his cock in him.

(Name) felt dizzy as be tried to keep up, covering himself when the other removed his shirt "don't cover yourself" Pantalone said pinning his arms above his head with one hand and continued his exploration, biting and sucking anywhere to get those sweet inexperienced moans from the others lips as his hand moved to rub the Deacons clothes cock, groping and playing with it before slipping under to fondle with the hardened cock, hot and leaking with pre-cum.

"Already close to cumming?" Pantalone teased "is my slutty little Deacon close?"

"I-I..."

"I-I" Pantalone mocked as he licked one of his nipples "come on bunny speak up"

"I don't... I-I don't know... Knot..."

"A knot? Where?"

"My stomach.."

"That means your slutty little cock is going to cum..." Pantalone said gripping his cock and jerking it off and watching the Deacon come undone "you ruined your pants..." Pantalone tisked as he stripped the beautiful man fully "such a wonderful body..." He breathed out as he took in the other.

mondstadt didn't deserve him.

"Wanna be a good boy?" Pantalone asked with a condicendingly sweet tone and (name) hazily nodded, unsure what he want but he wanted more...

"Then get on your knees infront of me"

(Name) moved so he was on his knees before the other, looking up at him so innocently "be a good boy and suck my cock nicely, get it ready"

(Name) wasn't fully sure what he was getting it ready for as the banker fished it from his expensive pants and gently smacked (name)s face with it "hop to little bunny" and watched (name) nervously take the cock in his hands, almost in awe at it's size as he pumped it a few times before tentatively putting it in his mouth.

"Good boy..." Pantalone said with a sigh as (name) sucked his cock like he was made to do so, he knew there was an eager slut underneath that Innocence...

(Name) didn't understand why he wanted to be such a good boy to the man whom he just met, never being touched like this before and found it additive.

(Name)s mouth was like a vacuum, the sweetheart giving it his all and Pantalone decided that he was going to put a ring on his pretty little finger, make him stay here forever.

Dress him in pretty clothes and break his pretty brain and form it into a dumb cum slut.

That sounded wonderful.

Pantalone gripped the back of his head as he slowly fucked his mouth with a low groan, feeling the others hands grip his thighs, loving the fact he was fully dressed compared to the Deacon being nude as it should be from now on.

(Name) looked so hazy and almost adoring as he bobbed his head, the taste and feeling addictive and the weight of it on his tongue was wonderful.

(Name) gasped as Pantalone forced his mouth off his cock, mouth open with a gasp as he came on his face, white ropes like a wedding veil and Pantalone felt himself harden again as (name) licked the cum almost hypontized as he did so "god you're such a little slut"

Pantalone could see (name) was almost in a headspace, the eager bunny just wanting to please his owner.

"Come here" Pantalone pat his lap and (name) crawled in it, their cocks touching "if you wish to continue I must tell you something" Pantalone said seriously and (name) nodded slowly "if you wish to have sex with me, you cannot leave my side again, I am a selfish greedy man and I refuse to let such a precious thing like you go"

"Was this not... You know... That?"

Even after sucking cock and getting jerked off the sweetheart still couldn't bring himself to say sex, god he was precious.

"Oh darling we barely begun~" Pantalone said groping his ass cheeks "would... I be able to visit my family...?" (Name) said holding back a moan "I could arrange it..." Pantalone said and (name) bit his lip "would we be... Lovers?"

"That's my intention" Pantalone took one of (name)s hands and kissed his knuckles, watching the Deacon swoon "please... Have uh... sex with me" he whispered the last bit as Pantalone grinned, watching as (name) sealed his fate forever.

(Name) yelped as Pantalone lifted him, cock hanging heavy as he walked through the halls of the grand mansion till they reached the master bedroom and the man placed (name) on the expensive sheets, mentally noting how perfect he was in the pattern.

Pantalone grinned as he grabbed an expensive bottle of oil, pouring it on his hands "this may be uncomfortable" Pantalone said leaning to kiss his thigh before spreading the others legs "oh my, aren't you flexible" Pantalone grinned before his oil covered fingers moved lower to prod at his entrance and gently pushed in, not wanting to hurt his bunny...well at least not like that.

(Name) whined at the foreign intrusion "shhh" Pantalone silenced the other as he began moving his finger and pumping in slowly, (name) head lulled as he let out soft moans and pants, mouth opening wide when the other added another finger and doing a combination of a skissor motion and a hithering motion, stretching and pleasuring his sweet lover.

His lover.

God Pantalone would spoil him to hell.

(Name)s hips spasmed a bit as Pantalone hit his prostate dead on "w-what...?"

"Seems I found your prostate, that's a spot inside you that's going to make you go insane" he smiled before adding a third finger and without warning began aggressively finger fucking the poor man and fingers beating against his prostate.

"Ohh~ I-I can't... To much~" (name) was shaking and crying as his toes curled and looked like a mess but god was he beautiful Pantalone noted silently, already fucked out and he hadn't even put his cock in yet.

God he loved how honest he was with his reactions.

(Name) was so close, he could feel the knot tighten again.

Then Pantalone retracted his fingers, grinning sadistically as (name) looked annoyed and confused "don't worry, the best part his coming"

Pantalone lubed his own cock before rubbing it at (name)s entrance before pushing his cock in "hn!" (Name) cried out as he clung to Pantalone "t-to much... Can't fit..." (Name) cried out and the black haired man kissed him "shhh it will fit don't worry" Pantalone soothed and (name) cried softly as the other bottomed out fully "you're doing so well, do you like my cock?"

"Big..."

Pantalone felt his ego rocket as he began slowly thrusting back and forth, caging (name) in his arms as the poor man clung to anything he could "ah ah!" (Name)s moans bounced with each thrust, the stretch and sensation of the head rubbing against his prostate to much as his eyes crossed a little, moans increasing in volume as Pantalone increased his movements and slowly began pistoning his hips, the sound of skin slapping and beautiful moans filling the room "I-I" (name) tried speaking but got cut off by his own moan as the two shared a sloppy kiss, teeth clashing as he fucked into (name), the Deacon cross eyed and swore he was going to become addicted to this newfound pleasure.

"I-its.. cumming!" (Name) let out a loud slutty moan as he came between them, cum staining both their chests but Pantalone kept going, chasing his own orgasm as (name) felt himself go crazy, overstimulated and body hot as the man pounded relentlessly, hands gripping his hips and no doubt leaving bruises.

"Mine..mine" he mumbled as he reached orgasm, poor (name) cumming again and passing out, completely fucked out.

"All mine..." Pantalone mumbled as he pulled out, watching cum leak from his pretty ass "and you're never leaving..."

#male reader #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #pantalone x male reader #pantalone x reader #pantalone smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x male reader

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 7 months

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What if: the animorphs were trans

I think I've written most of them as trans before, but I could also see each of them having a different experience with trans-ness.

Jake: Would just not bother to start performing femininity? Like, he'd mean to get around to it some time, but then he'd be at puberty and still wouldn't have bothered. And it's just so much easier being a boy. It requires less mental effort. His brain just defaults to boy-ness, and anyway he's bored of this subject already and wants to get back to fighting yeerks now.

Rachel: Is not only the girliest girl ever to girl, but has read all the feminist theory. She has clear opinions on her name, her clothes, her earrings, her hormones, her makeup, her hair... This is a girl who gets gender euphoria from spending up to an hour crafting her look each morning, and will never be caught with lipstick that doesn't color-coordinate with her blouse. There are a lot of TERFs in her town who keep ending up mauled by grizzly bears, but that's not Rachel's problem. She hears it was some other grizzly doing all that.

Tobias: Arguably he's already genderqueer and/or trans in canon, but he'd be the polar opposite of Rachel when it comes to talking about gender. He just is a boy, okay? Except when he's not. And that's just how it is. His gender is hawk. And sometimes it's hork-bajir. And sometimes it's andalite. And sometimes it's human. And if you ask follow-up questions he's going to disappear up a tree and never interact with humanity again.

Cassie: She's happy in her own body. Overalls are comfortable, dresses are fun, and anyone who can't figure out her pronouns at a glance isn't her problem. Okay, that one guy (#14) who called her a "boy" deserved to get kicked in the face, which is why she kicked him in the face. But everyone else trying to figure out her gender has their own problems, and she's not here to solve them.

Ax: Again, arguably not-cis in canon (his human body is implied to be intersex) but he'd be gung-ho about his gender just like Rachel. Andailte masculinity doesn't line up with human masculinity (e.g. Elfangor's comment about how Real Boys don't like STEM), so it'd be a lot of Ax Doing Boy Things in a way that doesn't make sense to Americans. But if gardening or sharpening his tail or refusing to learn math is what Ax is feeling, his friends aren't likely to question it.

Marco: ???? TBH I'm stumped. He both pulls genderfuckery (having long hair, being a clothes horse, going in drag in #51) and obsesses over being masculine enough. Him being the resident bicultural bisexual probably has something to do with it, but...??? Other fandalites, send help.

#animorphs #gender #animorphs meta #to be clear: marco is Extremely Gender #i just can't figure out how he would put that into words #also there was that tumblr post about being immune to passive aggression because can't pick up on social cues #and i feel like that'd be jake and sexism/transphobia #he straight-up can't tell when people are being bigots at him and doesn't even try to figure it out #if he gets deadnamed or misgendered he just glances around for whoever this person is actually talking to because it's obviously not him #meanwhile rachel is slipping on her brass knuckles and plotting the speaker's untimely demise

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onedeadkitty · 4 days

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Mizus Gender

He/him they/them she/her pronouns for Mizu

I know the writers of the show wrote blue eye samurai with Mizu as a woman disguised as a man in a way similar ish to Mulan but uh

They accidentally made it deeper than that ??

If you removed like 2 lines of dialogue in episode 5 you could even make an argument for trans masc Mizu. Or at the least gender queer.

Being transgender is not a concept in this time period. But trust. People have always wanted to be other genders, probably for the entirety of human history. And how someone would go about being trans in a world with no true understanding of the concept, might be similar to what Mizu IS DOING RIGHT NOW.

Living as a man. PERMANENTLY. Not temporarily to achieve some near goal like Mulan and the many other stories with this concept. Mizu has lived as a man nearly their entire life and no intention to ever live as a woman in the future.

Mizu admires their freshly binded chest in the mirror as a teen.

When alone Mizu refers to himself as a man.

When alone with Ringo, (someone who knows the secret) Ringo also refers to Mizu as a man.

Mizu threatens to straight kill Ringo at the the very use of the word “girl”.

When, and ONLY when seeing 2 MEN kiss does he think of Taigen.

Not to mention madame Kajis indelicate insinuation of gay sex to Mizu, something I believe wasn’t for no reason. OR Madams iconic line “you are more man than ANY come through my door” (I’m convinced she has an idea of Mizus true sex but doesn’t care to accuse or call them out for it)

They HAD lived as a woman in the past. Only for about a year, and they did it to get married for her mothers sake. To save her from a life of prostitution. She was able to be happy, because it IS POSSIBLE to be happy while not presenting how you like. It’s a strain and some can never be happy doing so but it’s possible and people do it all the time to make their lives easier or to keep the peace with family or for many other reasons.

Episode 5 gave HUGE VIBES of going back into the closet when living with your parents or just visiting. And Mizu looked SO uncomfortable and awkward in woman’s clothing and doing “wife things” (partly cause they have never done that before) and maybe it was my own projecting but I felt so uncomfortable FOR Mizu.

These things don’t necessarily mean being a transgender man specifically. Gender is actually really complicated and has ALOT to do with what society deems it.

Mizu is a masculine person. Being what Japan wants women to be isn’t in line with what Mizu is. A violent, practical, stoic, cold, masculine, confident and capable warrior.

dressing up as a woman with the makeup ONLY to try and make her husband happy. She didn’t WANT to. “To soften her husbands heart, the bride… danced” performed femininity FOR HIM. Only for Mikio to betray her for, in his eyes, being more masculine than him, by beating him in a physical fight.

Mizu is both the ronin and the bride. Mizu will be whatever they need to in order to achieve their owed deaths. They HAVE to be a man to get their revenge but that doesn’t mean Mizu WANTS to be a woman. (To be fair who WOULD in that time but I digress) and it doesn’t mean they WANT to be a man. They WANT their revenge. Everything is secondary to that.

Mizu is so different from other characters…

I grew up in a kinda misogynistic place and my mom really didn’t let me “do boy stuff” or dress masculine in any sense until my late teens. I my self don’t know if I can even call myself Trans. But I’m masculine, I like looking like a man and dressing as one but I don’t WANT to be a man necessarily. But I don’t WANT to be a woman. I feel like we as a society put to much distinction between the two and the people who don’t fit either side get left out at times.

Mizu is such a relatable character to me, like no other characters complicated feelings about their own sex and gender have ever come close.

They are for those who don’t have a strong sense of their own gender. Especially those who are biologically female and hesitant to lean into their sex because of the societal baggage.

Once people realize that how you dress, how you act, and what you do in reality have nothing to do with your bio sex and everything with what society has forced people to do based on factors out of our control is the day we can finally stop having these conversations.

Do what you want, gender is fake.

But Mizu is forever 🫶

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #bes #mizu #mizus gender #there’s so much more I want to say but I’ve already put out a wall of text.#I WILL block if you come in here with a “nuh uh 🤓#i would write more about her as a woman but I just revolves someone else’s big wall of text about that #read it if your interested they were much better worded than I #he/him bisexual lesbian man

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ellilyre · 2 months

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Ive lose the ask asking for my transmasc!Leo headcanon TT but i have them written down so imma post em like that

Leo transmasc headcanon

(many things are based on my own experience. Especially the dysphoria related things (so when i talk about Leo not being a real boy it is what he thinks bc of dysphoria. It’s not true.))

(warning angst angst (but thats Leo so that was expected)

it was so obvious even when he was small. He always wanted to play with boys, wear boys clothes, ect… His mom was fine with it. She bought him boys toys and clothes and even sometimes called him hijo. She was a bit confused, but she knew it made her child happy and it's all that mattered.

However, it didn’t go that well with his foster homes. However much he tried, they always stuck to his deadname and she/her. That was a big part of the reason he kept running away.

There really is no story behind the name Leo. He picked that one bc it sounded cool.

Once he got a good enough passing, he did everything he could so ppl will assume he’s cis.

Don’t ask me how he gots his hands on hrt. It’s a long and weird story.

The wilderness school was very strict about not mixing girls and boys in dorms.

Piper was his roommate, that’s how they met.

In their memories created by Hera, Jason has kinda always known he’s trans. So Leo never bothered to hide it from Jason (as he does with others).

But Jason doesn’t have much (any) education on transidentity… At first he assumed Leo was a cis guy, and then some things were a bit confusing (why was he in fem dorms ? Why does he wear a tank top under his shirt ? Did he just ask Piper for a tampon???) but he just kinda gave up on trying to understand, bc Leo is a nice guy anyways. And with time (and exterior knowledge on the matter) he started to put the pieces together and to understand that “ooh ok that makes sense".

Otherwise. Leo has no desire to get out of his comfortable closet.

He has such a fragile masculinity

Sometimes he acts a little bit macho. He’s aware he’s acting like an asshole but he’s terrified of being perceived as feminine.

Why does he try to flirt with every girl he sees ? Another attempt to pass better (and comfort himself in his fragile masculinity) by copying stereotypical boys' things.

He overbind so much, GODS. Man will wear his binder for 11h straight (while fighting and running around) and then have the audacity to complain that his body hurts.

Piper tries very hard to remind him to take proper breaks.

Jason is the biggest gender envy ever. He is handsome, tall, muscular… Leo really loves him but he also is so jealous and envious.

He is very envious of other boys in general.

When Percy got woken up in the middle of the night and left his cabin shirtless. When Frank went to take a break in the men’s restroom…

Gods, he would do anything to just be a normal boy. To be like them. To have their bodies. To not have to destroy his body to look slightly more masculine. To not have this constant fear that they’re gonna find out.

And to add to the reasons why he felt so much like the 7th wheel : Among the 7 there are 3 girls, 3 boys… And Leo. Forever inbetween. Not a girl, but not a boy like the others either.

Fortunately, with time he learnt to accept himself better and to feel more comfortable with others.

Piper helped him to go easier on himself. And he had an actual proper talk with Jason.

The first person he actually came out to was probably Annabeth, bc she’s cool and wise and nice.

And then he saw it actually was ok. She didn’t treat him any differently, she didn’t tell anyone else. She was cool with it.

He then told Frank and Hazel, with Piper’s help (mostly to explain to Hazel all those new terms). And it also went very great ! He then also told Percy and Nico.

He’s not entirely out, just to his closest friends and his siblings at camp. And it’s enough.

He still overbinds, but he has ppl to (discreetly) remind him to take care of himself. He’s still very dysphoric but his loved ones know how to remind him that he is their brother, an amazing boy.

#pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #leo valdez #heroes of olympus #hoo #pjo hoo toa #pjo headcanon

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sam-blackbird · 4 months

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An analyse of Umbrella Academy s4's posters (beware of s3 spoilers, ofc)

Hi! Today, the official Umbrella Academy Instagram account published season 4 posters, and since I'm very excited about this, I'm gonna try to analyse the posters, or what I can tell about them.

It's going to be long so grab a snack if you want / can, put on a cool playlist, and let's dive down! I'm going to do it poster by poster, in the order it was posted, from the oldest post to the newest (so not in numeral order).

We can notice that the characters are cut in two, the Portal way.

Anyway. First of all: Viktor !

Ngl, I had a moment when I saw he had the masculine uniform.

But past my joyful moment, my mind went racing so fast I couldn't keep it down, I had to share my thoughts (even if there may be only one person reading me, but whatever).

First thing first, it's interesting that the first one isn't Luther but Viktor, who is, the main character of the show (or at least, that's how I see it). Or a least the most important one. (if the last scene is Viktor ending his reading of his new book, about his siblings, not only would it be a fucking good epanadiplosis but it would make me cry the hell out of me)

After all, the show open with him, following him. And nothing would happen if it wasn't for him. He's the one trying to get the family stick together, and (unwillingly) starting apocalypse (twice or thrice, shit happens).

Let's focus on the poster now. On the left, we have a clothing reminding us of the Umbrella Academy days, or rather the "how it was before the show", except they are adult, and Viktor is here shown post-transition (and not pre-, as he was in the first two seasons). What does that mean? Fuck if I know. That being said, I think it have its importance (if they wanted to put children instead, they would have, wouldn't they?). However, we can note that he is not wearing neither the boy shorts (nor girl's skirt, for obvious reasons), but some secretly third option, aka a grey pant (is it the sport pant?). He is standing out himself, as a trans man (not wearing a skirt, yet not wearing the boy uniform either, as if he wasn't fully in that category somehow? idk).

Viktor's posture is straight (lol), and I associate it with being calm, obedient (he listen to everything Reginald says (ex: take these pills), and since Reginald is perceived as a father figure, it makes sense that Viktor wants to obey him, maybe hoping he (Viktor) will be loved and recognized as valuable). And also with being like a puppet. Or a muppet. The point is: He's not free of his movement, he doesn't have free will.

His face doesn't look happy. Nor sad. Just... neutral. He's just... there.

On the right, we can't see his face, yet his posture seems way more relaxed! He's wearing casual clothes, more modern ones, adapted to the world without powers they're now seems to live at the end of season 3.

His looks reminds me of the one of Tyler Ronan from Tell Me Why, a game by the studio Don't Nod (I fucking love that game). Both characters are trans man.

(This are pictures of Tyler. I had to restrain myself because we're not here from ma boi Tyler) (I have way too many pictures of that icon)

Anyway. Casual clothes. Blue, like the uniform. I won't analyse that, this post is already long enough.

Tbh, I haven't saw again the last episode of season 3, so I don't remember if it was the clothes they were wearing or new ones.

Also, Viktor is holding an umbrella in his right hand, probably a reference to the Umbrella days. Like, it's a part of him, he can't leave it behind, he physically have it with him (even if he doesn't have the power).

And the Umbrella is closed, unlike the ones from the previous seasons's posters.

Like, season 2's were opened (and full), and season 3's were opened and damaged (and they were hiding the protagonists' faces, showing implicitly the influence of the academy on them).

Next one, Luther !

We almost can see his face on the right!

But anyway, let's start by the left. Luther is walking, straight, in what could be either a military walk or a relaxed one (? don't quote me on this please, I can't explain). His posture screams "confidence" and "I'm number one, I'm a leader, follow me!". Or something like that, I'm no posture reader, just someone who watched way too much police and detective shows. He's wearing the Umbrella uniform (and it's so fucking weird to see it on a grown ass man!). His hair are cut short.

On the right, he's wearing a more casual look. There's something going one with his arm muscles, but I can't be bother to search what. His hair are longer than on the left. He is wearing gloves and an umbrella, and walking shoes. His umbrella is cutting his name (does it have some symbolism? Maybe.)

He's still wearing blue (like Viktor), even if it's a different kind of blue (and it kinda fit him).

Nothing more to add. (yes, I have my favorites, and despite liking Luther, I won't kill my eyesight anymore than necessary for details).

Next! Diego!

Let me preface this by saying that it's so fucking weird to see him in that uniform. On the left, he's walking like a good little soldier, following the leader.

On the right, he's the embodiment of a relax guy who can (and will) definitely yeet you out of the picture if needed. He's not wearing anything casual. It's more like a killer / soldier clothes, with his precious knifes.

DOES HE HAVE A MUSTACHE????

He's holding the Umbrella on the shoulder, as if he can't be bothered with it (and/ or he's gonna use it as a weapon).

Next! Not number 3, but the one who's linked to Diego! Lila!

Love that she's officially "Lila Hargreeves".

The left outfit is like the one she had in season 2 when she was with the Handler and stuff about her past was revealed (so interesting and meaningful choice of outfit). Her heels are thin, as if she wasn't stable (with her life situation and all).

Yet, on the right, her heels are thicker, more stable to move (she's more free to go).

Her clothes are modern and the flowers fit her really well, I might say. Her hair are put up, like the active badass woman she is. They're brown again, and not white/ blond anymore, it's more natural (I can't really argue, my hair are currently pink).

She overall looks like a business woman, with a casual chic.

She too, is holding an umbrella, which make her fully part of the family. She hold it casually.

Next, another girl: Allison.

Ngl, I'm no big fan of hers, so this will be short.

On the left, she's confidently wearing her UA (Umbrella Academy) uniform. Her hand move don't really feel natural (saying this as someone who sometimes draws human beings). Her hair are like the one from season 1.

On the right, she looks like a business woman and a mom. Her posture looks aslo determined, while relaxed. She have business to do, and no one will stop/ prevent her from doing so!

Girl power and all that.

(I'm trying, I really can't stand how her character was wrote during season 3)

Neeeeext! Let's go with one of my fav, Klaaaaaaus!

I have to say, it is criminal that a) his hair are short on th right side (loved his long hair) and b) where's the skirt?! He slayed in it! Anyway.

On the left, his walking looks very mechanical, as if he was a machine, a robot (lol) (I won't do any joke about Grace). Yet, his posture his not natural (no one walks naturally torso in one way and legs in another, if that makes some sense) (that reminds me kinda of the extravagant way drag queens walk on the runaway, for shows, but I may be extrapolating a little).

His eyes are closed. Why are his eyes closed? I'm scared. His face is still like the one of a dead person. Resigned. Accepting his fate. But after all, Klaus had always been closed to death, more or less metaphorically speaking, as he can see ghosts (= dead people, or what remains of them).

His hair are all over the place, reminding the crazy days he had to get fucking blasted to avoid said ghosts.

Right side is colorful. He's beauty, he's grace, WHERE ARE HIS HAIR?! No but more seriously, cutting one's own hair symbolise change in many culture, and more specifically letting go of the past, embracing new beginnings, and/ or undergoing spiritual or personal transformations. I have no idea how to interpret that.

He seems to float, to ascend (plz don't kill him). He is bare foot (bare feet? idk) (fun fact: in the comics, he could only use his power when sober and with bare feet) (I won't go down the rabbit hole of barefoot symbolism and its link with death, I'm not mentally well enough to do that).

He his wearing a yellow coat with flowers (flowers, like Lila!). Yellow is associated with joy, fest, sun (and Klaus is a comic relief, a feel good sunshine character), and flower, life. (again, plz don't kill him)

What reinforce that idea of tragedy is that the umbrella he's wearing is the only one who isn't black: it's the umbrella he was holding during Reggie's funeral in s1. Plus, he's holding it with three fingers out. What's the meaning of three? Idk. Maybe it’s for Allison? Maybe it has a link with God (the Christian one)? Yk, Holy Trinity and all that. After all, doesn't Klaus met God (the little girl in the afterlife) regularly?

Does that look good or bad for Klaus? No idea.

Speaking about looking good, Ben is back, alive. I won' t go far enough to say "well", but he's alive.

On the left, he's standing straight, walking in a unnatural posture. Following only.

On the right, he bent (idk why tho). His clothes are casual (and looking alike the one Viktor had been wearing during s3). His umbrella also cut his name (like Luther's). He's a Vans' boy!

(please, no mustache for him)

We can't see if he's wearing glasses or not.

Last of the Hargreeves kids (if you count Lila as one, and if not, last one of the power-gifted Hargreeves): Five.

On the left, his posture is haughty. His hands are in his pants pockets. He know what he wants, he is very sure of himself, maybe because he thinks he is better than everyone (he can think that, given what happened) (some might even say he have a bratty attitude, but I'll answer, well have you seen him during season 1???)

(my personal theory is that he is bend forward to be smaller on the left than on the right)

On the right, he left the UA uniform for a more formal suit (some call it 'the grandpa / old man suit'). His hair are longer.

He's walking down like he had no shit to give anymore (he doesn't) and he's ready to throw hands (he totally his).

HOLY (S)HIT HE'S HOLDING THE UMBRELLA IN HIS RIGHT HAND! Why? Why is he te only one wearing the umbrella on the other hand? Is it to accentuate his difference with his siblings (+ Lila)? Is it to show how differently he see his time at the UA an how differenlty he uses his powers? I mean, given he didn't spend as much time in the UA as the rest of them, ofc his vision and perception of the UA is different. Even his vision of time is different.

And now.

BEWARE! THE REGINALD JUMPSCARE! (or is it scare jump? Anyway, I've been working on this post for more than an hour and a hlaf, plz be indulgent, it's late and the day had been long)

On the left, we see the whole umbrella for the firs time on these posters.

Reggie is wearing blue (reminding of the UA uniform). He is young looking, and seems well assorted (who tf have two jacket pockets on the same side tho?)

Edit: his suit is actually more lilac/ purple, which is a color hard to dye (so it costed a lot and was reserved for royalty / rich ppl) (before industrialization and the use of chemical products for clothes dye; and we know Reggie arrived/ was on Earth on 19th c., so during the industrialization)

On the right, he's old and wearing a brown suit. Brown can symbolize the Earth. Earth can provide and ppl are depend on it to eat and therefore survive. In a way, he was a Earth for his children, as they were dependent on him (does that makes him a good father? Absolutely not!). (that thought, of Reggie being a Earth, is funny given he is an alien / an extraterrestrial)

And if you put them all in order, you get :

(notice how Klaus's picture / posture melt greatly in Five's?)

And that's it! Damn, that was long. Don't hesitate to let me know what you think about all of that in the comment!

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proseka-headcanons · 3 months

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i'm back on my "all three of the tenmas are agender" shit (not here i just never shut up abt them in general) aka projecting onto my favs for several paragraphs

tsukasa fully thinks that he's doing Normal Cis Men Behavior for a long time. since a very young age he's been comfortable wearing traditionally feminine clothes and doing "girly" things, and he was never bothered by people saying that he was acting like a girl or anything similar. when he meets rui in highschool rui immediately is like "hmm. trans." because some of the stuff tsukasa says sounds exactly like the stuff rui used to say to himself before he found out he was nonbinary. so after they've known each other for a while rui starts asking tsukasa if he's ever thought abt his gender identity and tsukasa's like "oh I'm definitely cis but i've never really felt like a guy specifically i don't mind being called one but i also don't mind being called a girl really it doesn't matter" and rui is like "...what." lmao. anyways so tsukasa doesn't realize until one of his other siblings comes out to him, because he does a bunch of research so that he can be a good ally and then realizes all the descriptions sound a lot like him

saki realizes pretty young that she's not like Fully Girl but she likes to do feminine things and look like a girl so she must be at least a demigirl right? wrong! as she gets older she deattaches feminine things with actually being a girl, and she realizes that other than the way she presents she doesn't really feel like a girl at all. she asks the rest of leo/need to use they/them for her for a little bit and this really cements that she's agender in her mind since she likes that a lot. she starts using she/they for simplicity since she doesn't mind she/her and she presents very feminine. tsukasa is exceedingly shocked when she comes out and toya is just like "yeah that checks out"

toya has always kind of known? he's never really felt Like A Boy in the way that his parents wanted him to, and even when he was little he hated all the fancy masculine clothing he had to wear to piano recitals or anywhere else where he had to wear like a suit. when he starts to rebel against his parents originally, he breaks out of his bubble and sees all sorts of people and learns about all sorts of queer identities but none of them really fit him and he eventually comes to the conclusion that he just doesn't have a gender without knowing the term. eventually he looks it up and gets the official label but he doesn't really "come out to" anyone except the tenmas, everyone else he just tells if they ask

saki would be like “i think you’re agender too big brother!” and tsukasa would respond with “WHAT” before going “….wait that makes sense”

#proseka headcanons #project sekai #pjsk #project sekai colorful stage #prsk #prosekai #project sekai headcanons #mod rui #saki tenma #tenma siblings #tenma saki #tenma tsukasa #tsukasa tenma #agender

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beatrixstonehill2 · 1 month

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"Well, it really happened! The rumors circulating are totally true, my former sister and I were pushed to attend a detrans bootcamp. Our families really wanted to see us experience this together and be openminded. Despite having socially transitioned in gradeschool and being on estrogen since forever (just look at the giant, fat breasts we developed as 'girls' 🤢), we didn't want to let our families down. Although we knew they wanted us to detrans for a while now. Guess they never lost faith even as we brought so many guys home and rode their cocks long into the night, our fat boy-tits bouncing and clapping together as we moaned like porn stars. Because of course almost everything we knew about being girls came from porn, so we acted like whores and slept with pretty much any guy who didn't mind that we both had a fat cock between our legs.

When we got to bootcamp we were surprised to learn we'd immediately be taken off estrogen, put on testosterone and drugs to help our cocks grow. We showed the people at the bootcamp our cocks were already eight inches and pretty thick but it wasn't good enough, apparently. So we reluctantly started going through male puberty, which was kind of fun. As twins it was nice going through this at the exact same time instead of one of us detransing over a boyfriend or something. So, we made the most of it and got used to life on this island paradise, surrounded by other trans girls who were all at least a little bit excited to detrans. Some were absolutely gorgeous, some of the prettiest 'girls' we've ever seen, and none of them were smaller breasted than a G-Cup.

We bonded and fucked at first, but as our bodies got more masculine, our voices dropped, we all grew facial hair but at least we were allowed to shave it. We started resembling guys too much to be turned on by each other anymore, and the bootcamp started making more sense. We went from staying near our huts and main camp, just eating and fucking like most girls, to going out, exploring, exercising, hunting, building more camps around the island, ladders, bridges, and other things to make getting around easier. Finally, testosterone was evolving us past being mindless fuckdolls....

We noticed the only other people but the sparse staff, who made sure we were fed and hydrated, were beautiful girls--yet we had no idea why. All over the island, there were clusters of cisgirls wearing skimpy island dresses, some barely clothed at all. We still had no idea what the objective of this bootcamp was, other than seeing our bodies turn male. Soon, we finally understood, right around the time we asked to finally have out huge boobs removed because they got in the way and we suddenly realized just how ridiculous they looked on us. It was around then we knew what the goal was. We had to do what men did--repopulate the island, so to speak. It was like a scavenger hunt to see how many girls we could get pregnant. The staff tallied it up and tested our DNA to make sure who the father was, meaning we had to be territorial. If we found a new group of girls who weren't pregnant we'd need to fuck them, keep them well-fucked, and prevent any of the other men from impregnating them.

We worked together as twins, so we had an advantage. I'd protect our budding harem, and my brother would go out, find new girls, abduct them or force them all back to our harem, tucked away on the far side of the island. The girls were all drop dead beautiful of course, thick with really big breasts, fat asses, juicy thighs, gorgeous faces, hand-picked from colleges all around the country, given fertility drugs, breast-growth drugs, and fed an ample diet to ensure they were curvy in just the right way that when our male brains awoke, we'd find it irresistible to breed them. The final tally was my brother and I matched with 64 of girls' broods, none of which were below quadruplets. We ranked the highest, narrowly beating out the girl I thought was the prettiest, a Korean-American trans girl with a set of K-Cup breasts, who I gleefully hooked up with my first night at bootcamp,

Now it's unfortunately time to go home, as all the girls we bred prepare for the next round of fakegirls to masculinize and get them severely knocked up. I think they're earning college credits? Either way, I'll miss our little harem, but all the more reason for my brother and I to come home, stalk the various colleges around us, local parks, maybe even a library or two where a few buxom young college girls might be tucked away, thinking they're safe. I think it's time we start up a new harem and use the prize money to buy a house to keep all of our new pets. They may be reluctant at first but soon enough our new harem of plump, fertile hucows will grow to love being our personal collection of mindless, baby-filled cum dumps. We'll see to it."

#detrans kink #mtf detrans kink #mtftm kink #detrans nsft #mtftm nsft

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cielwritings · 29 days

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Hcs for sebaciel with trans!ciel? 🥺👉👈 Both mtf and ftm if thats not too much please.

! FTM & MTF Ciel x Sebastian !

trans hcs my absolute beloved.

! FTM !

Sebastian sees this more often than not. While at this point the term wasn't coined, Sebastian knew it wasn't just some thing you catch like a flu.

He could sense Ciel's unease the moment they met. When he burnt the cathedral down and had Ciel in his arms, he could feel just how frightened the boy truly was. He refused to leave the bath once bathed.

Ciel told Sebastian that was because he felt revolted in his skin. Sebastian simply states that he knew.

Sebastian makes Ciel's public clothes as masculine as he could. Navy blue colored, not as eye catching (though kept the charm), and if the dress was long enough, male shoes.

Ciel will have monthly haircuts, or whenever his hair started to bother him. That's typically when he felt it scratch at the back of his neck.

Periods were hard for the poor boy. He felt like an absolute fool being in bed in pain when he's supposed to be a prince. A prince, a noble, whatever you wish to call him.

"Your pain is not to be ashamed of, my lord." Sebastian would reassure, hand running through Ciel's hair. "You may not think of yourself as such, but no matter what, you are my prince."

! MTF !

This one, for Sebastian, wasn't as common for him to see. He knew Grell, but that was about it.

Though, even if it wasn't as common, he's just as respectful. He knows how to be a gentleman, and as salty as it makes Cielle, she can't help but feel flattered. Even just a little.

He helps her put on a corset, being as gentle as he could with her. He helps her grow her hair out by giving her vitamins that assist. He actually asks Grell for advice as well, which has her shaking in her boots.

You'd think Sebastian wouldn't need assistance, but he's a biological male, and identifies as such. He has an idea how men would need or want to be treated, but women were a little difficult. He can't exactly put himself in Cielle's shoes without generalizing all women.

For Cielle's birthday, there was a party, which could pass as a ball really. Sebastian hid the surprise he got her for as long as he could and as well as he could, and of course, he succeeded.

With the assistance of Grell, he showed Cielle what he'd gotten her.

A ball gown. A navy blue, off the shoulder one with gold lining at the waist and bottom of the gown. It was absolutely beautiful. Fortunately, she could wear this around her family. Her aunt had always wanted a girl, after all. She wouldn't pass up seeing Cielle in this.

"My princess," Sebastian cooed, slipping on her last heel. "Looking gorgeous as ever. May I say, your skin is glowing.. your youth is one others would die for."

Sebastian, naturally, was her first dance that night.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive #! sfw #sebaciel #sebastian michaelis

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jaylienpotter · 10 months

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Runaway

"Coming!" Incessant knocking vibrated the whole Godric's Hollow. Fleamont was still at work and Euphemia was far more patient than that. "Coming!" James ran down the stairs, wand in hand. They were dangerous times. He opened the door and pointed the wand at whoever was outside, only to find a somewhat familiar face. "Black?"

"Can I please come in? I don't know where else to go..." Her face was dripping with tears. Her black hair chopped to her jawline. White dress dirty and ripped in some places.

"Yes, of course!" He took her in and closed the door. "Sirius! Your sister is here!" The older brother nearly flew downstairs, both worried and glad to see Hydra.

"Bloody hell, are you okay?!" Given no time to answer, baby Black was squeezed in a hug.

"I'm so sorry Sirius... I should have listened to you... I shouldn't have stayed... You were right, they're evil. I just really wanted to be a good daughter, I really did..."

"What happened??"

"They were marrying me off to Amycus Carrow... I can't do this, Sirius... He's so odd and mean and..."

"It's okay, you don't have to. You ran off from the wedding?" Hydra nodded. "What happened to your hair?"

"I..." She looked at James unsurely but nothing mattered anymore. "I cut it. I cut it because I don't want to be like this anymore. I- I don't want to be their daughter nor- nor your sister, I... I don't want to be a girl..."

Sirius hugged his baby brother through his sobs "Hey, it's okay... It's okay. You could have told me."

"I was scared... And- I didn't want mother and father to find out..."

"Fuck them. They don't matter anymore. You're safe. James, do you think she- he can stay here?" The boy in the dress smiled at the masculine pronoun, feeling slightly better now that he knew he had someone supportive.

"Yeah, of course! You can come to my room or you two share. We'll take care of the logistics later. Black, did you bring anything with you?" He shook his head.

"Just my wand." Potter nodded and started going upstairs.

"I'll see what I can get you. Make yourself at home." After he was out of sight, the newly addition to the house turned to his brother sadly.

"I'm sorry Sirius..."

"It's okay, you don't have to apologise. You were brainwashed. I'm sorry I didn't get you out of there..."

"I would've stayed. I wanted them to be proud of me but no matter what I did I was just a bloody prize to be handed over... Siri I... I have the mark..." He extended his arm painfully. He didn't want to upset his brother. But he wouldn't be able to hide it, either.

"What matters is that you're safe now. And you're not on their side anymore. Focus on what's important. Like getting a new haircut. You were not born to be a hairdresser." That had the wanted effect, a laugh. He probably hadn't smiled in a long time. Sirius always made everything better.

"I missed you."

"Missed you too. Dork. So, do you have a new name?"

"Oh. I... I don't know. I didn't think about it. With the denial and war and wedding and running away... But I don't like Hydra."

"When James gets you clothes, take a warm bath and you can think about that, yeah? No hurries."

"Thank you... I-" He bit his lip. Forbidden words, these were. "I love you."

"I love you too." The comfortable and intimate hug was interrupted by the sound of stair steps.

"Oh- sorry uh... I have clothes for you. They'll probably be too big on you, I did try to find things that don't really fit me anymore. I left them on your bed. We'll probably go shopping tomorrow."

"Thanks. Sorry for coming uninvited..."

"Well, we did invite you a few years ago. It's not like it had an expiration date so technically you're not uninvited."

"Thanks Potter."

"You can call me James. What should I call you?" Baby Black was still uncomfortable in this strange house so his brother jumped in.

"He's still deciding." James nodded.

"Alright, let me know when you do." Sensing they wanted privacy, Prongs went back upstairs, figuring Padfoot would show the house around.

"Shower?"

After being shown his new bedroom and how the bathtub worked, he took a much needed long bath. He tried focusing on his breathing, going underwater sometimes. After getting dry and clothed (he looked somewhat... muggle), he stared at the mirror.

"I really do need a haircut..." An unknown voice was heard from downstairs. A woman. Probably Mrs. Potter. He carefully went to the living room, where the three of them sat.

"Oh, hello! I'm Euphemia. You can call me Effie." He smiled politely and nodded. "My husband Fleamont should be here in an hour. Don't be afraid to ask us for anything, alright? This is your home now."

"Thank you, Euphemia. I really appreciate you letting me stay."

"Of course. Sirius is family so by extension, you are too. Are you hungry, dear?"

"A little..." Effie got on her feet and walked to the kitchen.

"Any food allergies? Things you don't like to eat?" She shouted from the kitchen, sounds of cupboards being opened.

"He's allergic to peanuts!" The youngest looked at Sirius, wide eyed. It wouldn't take Effie long to realise he was a female.

"What? Oh, we told her. She's cool with these things. Said she knew already when I told her Remus and I started dating.

"Are you, still?"

"Yup! He likes books a lot too, you know? Reads everything. You got that in common. Do you still play chess?" He hummed in affirmation and his brother kept talking (like the mouthful he always was, idiot). "Pete is amazing at chess. Bloody brilliant. Moony is good too but no one beats Pettigrew."

"Moony?"

"Oh! Yeah, that's Remus's nickname. We all have one. I'm Padfoot, James is Prongs, Remus is Moony and Peter is Wormtail."

"Why?" Those were quite strange, especially if the person didn't know the context.

"Oh uh..." Sirius and James exchanged glances.

"It's based on our patronuses." Potter spoke first. The pause was a bit suspicious but he couldn't afford to care. Miss Potter came back from the kitchen with a plate of cookies.

"Do you like cinnamon, dear?"

"I love it!"

"Here, have some cookies. I will prepare dinner in a few minutes so that it's ready by the time Monty gets home. Do you like spices? I use them a lot in my culinary. But I can make something softer for you."

"It's okay, I'll try. These cookies are really good!"

"Thank you! James and I made them."

A while later, Mr. Potter got home, introducing himself as Fleamont "but you can call me Monty". They were a lovely couple. Actually looked like they were in love, nothing like his and Sirius's parents.

At the table they had a completely different dynamic from the Blacks. They chatted cheerfully, laughed, joked, rested their elbows on the table... They would be seen as improper, indecent, and bad-mannered. But they were just happier. It was most noticible in Sirius, the only one Black had a reference to. He looked so much healthier there. All the resentment he had for his older brother for running away vanished. He had made the right choice.

"How do you find the food, sweetheart?" He was having a bit of a hard time, not used to this kind of flavours.

"Mhm, it's good."

"No need to lie, it's okay you don't like it. I made some plain rice and chicken without the sauce."

"Sorry, I don't want to be an inconvenience. I can eat it, I'm just not used to it." She got up and took his plate.

"Nonsense. I don't want you getting sick. I'll be right back with your food."

"Thank you..." She was absolutely lovely. A late mother, by her looks. Both of James's parents looked older than most. But they weren't by any means ugly. Neither was their son. The Potters had good genes, apparently.

When they were all nearly done with their dinner, the new house member made an announcement.

"Uhm... I think I've chosen what name I want to use." He had everyone's full attention. Felt pressured but pushed it down. "I'm thinking of Regulus."

"I like it." Monty agreed, tone casual.

"Me too." James smiled encouragingly. Regulus understood now why his brother liked him so much.

"Regulus, okay. What nicknames can I make out of it?" He rolled his eyes. Sirius couldn't be stopped. "Regul... no. Reg, yeah that's a good one. Reggie... Reggie!"

"Sure."

"Is it a star?" Effie's dark eyes were so warm. Opposite to Walburga's piercing cold gaze.

"Yes, from the Leo Constellation."

"Very well. Welcome home, Regulus."

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fizzy-tizzy · 2 months

Text

Headcanons for all the survivors gender/sexuality

Wilson- Just Kinda decided he was gonna be a boy when he was like 8 and his dad was so desperate for an heir that didn’t want him dead to rights he just kinda let it happen. would fuck anyone but at the same time is not interested at all

Willow- Butch-ish but more in a tomboy kinda way. genuinely likes wearing skirts and more feminine clothing but doesn’t really think she deserves to? if that makes sense? (She doesn’t really feel like a genuine legit girl) hardcore lesbian.

Wolfgang- Very traditionally masculine but in the “My job is to protect and take care of everyone” and not the “im a man so I can do whatever I want” type way. Gay but could totally be in a lavender relationship/marriage and have no problems w/ it

WX-78- Born a cis female, figured out early on that wasn’t right but couldn’t change it until they were an adult. Transed their gender but then figured out being a male wasn’t right either. eventually found someone who felt similarly and abandoned their flesh for the machine. solidly aroace. they’re triple a (agender, asexual, aromantic) just like batteries

Wickerbottom- cis female and “traditionally” feminine, has never felt the need to explore or question it. Used to be married to a man who was secretly gay and looking for someone similarly emotionally unavailable. He has since passed but left wicker a small fortune so. alls well that ends well ig

Wes- kind of a stereotypical femme twink. The kinda gay whos loud and proud and will hit you with a brick if you have a problem with that. feels obligated to help the others try and figure themselves out- esp the ones who are more in denial abt it

Maxwell- I think the idea that max is trans and Jack is cis and they turned out looking the exact same is hilarious. Technically the only ppl who knows he’s trans are jack and charlie- their parents just think he’s a masculine woman and everyone else knows him as a man. Bi and so so weak for bears and gently bossy women.

Wendy- Non-binary but still in the process of realizing it. Does not give a single shit abt romance but would totally be qpp with Webber once they know what that means.

Woodie- Probably Not Cis but has too much religious trauma to even dare questioning himself. He’s like JUST accepted the fact that he’s gay (still thinks hes going straight to hell but we’re working on that) so ynknow baby steps. baby steps. Deffo has a shit ton of body dysphoria due to the wereforms tho

Webber- Since spiders work a lil different in the constant (probably more like bees) there are like three genders Webber could potentially see themselves as. Drone, warrior, and queen. During his childhood he thinks of himself mostly as a drone but as he gets older and his sway over the spiders increases they’ll shift into seeing themselves as more of a queen. But other that he’s pretty much whatever non-spider gender is most convenient. Definitely bi.

Wigfrid- her gender is… strange. What she outwardly presents is her character’s way of presenting herself so ig I see her as kinda fluid? Idk valiant-valkyrie if ur reading this you can probably do a better job of explaining it. you are the defacto wigfrid authority. Definitely lesbian but once again will do whatever the role requires

Winona- Solidly butch lesbian. Definitely a caretaker and a protector but in the butch kinda way and not the femme kinda way. if that makes sense.

Wurt- Butch but hasn’t really realized it yet. does not think human genders apply to her bcs she’s a merm and will 100% be king when she grows up. baby lesbiab. her and wilba’s eventual union shall bring peace to the pig/merm kingdoms once and for all

Wortox- human genders do not apply to him. They are whatever is most convenient at the time. Fluid like loki and bugs bunny.

Walter- if xenogenders existed back then he would totally be like pupgender/buggender. Non-binary but has no problem being called a boy/man. Would be fine with any prns but people have only ever used he/him for him. Probably going to be a monsterf*cker when he grows up.

Wormwood- He is plant. Plants have sexes but no genders and wormwood is intersex anyway but they kinda just chose the first option presented to him once he found the others. Loves all but has absolutely no interest or idea about non-plant reproductive activities.

Walani- Yknow that “as a girl who’s a gross dude men who are fancy ladies are my best friends”? Yeah that’s her and Warly. she’s the emotional support golden retriever to warly’s high-strung cheetah. Lesbian but like. endearingly loser lesbian who’s only ever smooth when she’s not trying to be.

Warly- as mentioned before he is very much a guy who is a fancy lady. Would probably do drag if he had the chance and would 100% be the baddest bitch who makes all the men question their sexuality. Gay and european.

Wanda- doesn’t have time for all that gender questioning bullshit she just wants to kiss women.

Wheeler- Solid futch, leans more feminine or masculine depending on the situation. Woman-leaning bisexual, has probably fucked someone wife and inadvertently caused a divorce.

Woodlegs- pretty solidly cis male but 100% an embarrassing old gay grandpa. Doesn’t know much abt the terminology but is incredibly supportive and was definitely a homewrecker back in the day. Probably got out of at least one arrest by seducing the naval officer meant to bring him in

Wilba- high femme and definitely a baby lesbian. I do really like the idea of her being trans just because why not so why not. She and wurt are fat femme x fat butch once they grow up

Wagstaff- born as a girl but realized he hated it and made attempts to transition early on. Eventually ran away to America to fully transition. Non-binary too but hasn’t realized it yet and just thinks that everyone feels weird when someone calls them mr or sir. men-liker and old man yaoi certified

Wilbur- yes I’m doing the monkey. Gender is a strange concept to him, so he just kinda calls himself male bcs apparently he is? He doesn’t really understand it but it seems to be pretty important in human society so he’ll do it if it means he gets respected as an actual person and not just some sideshow.

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nomadicism · 25 days

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I was watching a YouTube video where OP did a "Voltron Rewrite". I agree and disagree with certain aspects of it. (Which isn't a bad thing. We all have our ways of fixing that trainwreck. They have theirs, and I have mine.) But it brought up another question for me, why wasn't Pidge non-binary?

In the show, Pidge disguised herself as a boy to break into the military base that her brother and father worked at in order to find them. But that doesn't make any sense! This is the military. Wouldn't they find that out instantly when they require to do blood work or a psychical on her?

That explanation reminds me a lot of those "female Yuu has to disguise herself as a boy to attend Night Raven for no reason" fics in the Twisted Wonderland fandom in a bad way. Because, just like those fics, it's mimicking Ouran High School Host Club and Mulan without understanding why those stories work. In Mulan, she disguised herself as a boy to take her father's place, because she wouldn't be able to fight otherwise. Plus, she was able to do that since it took place thousands of years ago before the advent modern teach that would detect that instantly, and she was also caught after she was injured. Haruhi just simply didn't care about what gender people identified them as. Here, the story takes place hundreds of years in the future, so those issues are highlighted even more and make the plotline fall flat.

Having Pidge be non-binary right out of the starting gate would nix that issue. Pidge could be another person there, who wants to go up into space to find their missing family. They would be more male presenting, because that's just how they want to present themselves. No long-winded explanation needed. As a bonus, Pidge's voice actor is non-binary IRL, so it would add up in that sense as well.

One baffling choice in that series in hindsight amongst dozens of others. Though, I feel like if that show was made now instead of almost 10 years ago that would be one change the showrunners would make to the story.

Hi there, thank you for the Ask!

Those are good questions, and my own question is "why would the military have a barracks full of teens in the first place?"

The very flimsy reason for Pidge to join as a teen boy might have been fear about being recognized by anyone who knew her brother, or might have seen her in a dress one time. However, Pidge presenting as male would make her look more like her brother, so she'd be more recognizable in my opinion.

Within the VLD setting, there are no logical reasons for Pidge to present as male when joining the military, other than gender identity. It makes more sense for Pidge to be a trans man, or non-binary person, or transmasc person, or genderfluid person, etc.

One thing that I consider (and I don't mean this as a counter-argument), is how cis women still get pushed into a highly feminine presentation box, even though there are plenty of cis women who do not perceive or express their gender in traditional ways. Whether they are tomboys, butches, or women who simply have no interest in cosmetics and clothing that carries strong gender identifiers.

It's like, why are non-fitted cargo pants and comfortable shoes often assumed to be masculine (or for middle-aged women who are not portrayed as sexually available)? Because at some level, men are assumed to get things done, and women are assumed to have things done for them. That means that there is a space for representing cis women who do not represent their femininity in ways that are traditionally seen as feminine. Thankfully, those attitudes aren't as strong as they used to be, but on some level they are still there.

Within that context, Pidge as tomboy works, but Pidge as tomboy using masculine pronouns to present as male seems a bit odd. Like, it almost feels like a marketing decision so that boys in the target demographic could watch the first episode and not be like "ewww why is there a girl in my robot show" (princess-rescue doesn't count). I don't know that boys actually care about that anymore, but once upon a time that was a Thing they were socialized to react against.

#vld pidge #voltron: legendary defender #vld asks #ask me anything #aquaburst3

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eijiroukiriot · 7 months

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why do you see bkg as trans?

i've had this ask sitting in my drafts since like august BECAUSE i knew if i did the question justice it was gonna get VERY long and pretty personal - if i'm gonna talk about it then i gotta talk about it in all earnest. and you've given me the floor to talk about it. so!!

at first i had these typed out as two separate points but i think they go a lot more hand-in-hand than that, so to start - when i think about my own gender and why i can't bring myself to identify fully with womanhood a lot of it is because there's something that feels so free about masculinity. mostly just like because of womanhood on a societal level a lot of my experience as a girl forever has been "you need to think about how your existence makes other people feel. you really need to present yourself in a way that's pleasant for other people. the way you look, the way you talk, the way you conduct yourself - people are entitled to having a say in all that. and if any of that isn't living up to the way it's supposed to be, then that's a fault of yours." here's a vent post i made when i was 17:

which is mostly really superficial examples of the suffocating expectation of girlhood but it's also so blatantly about bkg. in the moment my thought process was more like "i'm so deeply unsatisfied with so many parts of being a girl, it sounds like there'd be so many less people to answer to if i were a boy" but it's funny reading back on it bc it's like "dude are you just talking about bkg". but then who's a better example of choosing to stomp through life exactly as loud and rude as he wants to be without answering to anyone than bakugou katsuki!! honest about his thoughts in any case!! free to speak as bluntly and rudely as he wants!! never putting up with shit that makes him feel unlike himself!! walks with big wide steps and wears stupid baggy clothes and doesn't care what people have to say about it and doesn't feel worse if they do disagree. grins crazy blasting himself through the air. fights with big windup swings and shouts all the while. huge huge presence and so unafraid to assert it. named himself great・explosion・murder・god dynamight. i think i project a big sense of defiance onto bkg's character because everything he is just feels so defiant to me. there's just a lot that i admire about boyhood and bkg feels like the embodiment of it to me

and then you've got bkg himself, who like- isn't even fulfilling the "doesn't feel worse about himself if he is genuinely not the greatest or kindest" part of it!! bkg's character is so centered around figuring out who he is and like navigating through the mortifying ordeal of existing and not actually liking the person you are and trying to figure out where to go from there- he really thinks he has so much to prove...both in the sense that he DOES want to project this big image and also that he really can't cut himself a break. and then he freaks out when he's not becoming the person he wants to be and picks a fight with deku over it and totally breaks down and picks himself back up and forces himself to seriously rewire the entire view of himself and others that he's had his entire life - he's 16 - and goes to all this teeth-clenching effort to be a better person and has highs and lows and wears himself raw and then comes back to life. well the quality of the later part of his arc is very debatable. but his character is so about just figuring out who he is and kind of failing at it a lot of the time. and then eventually figuring it out and getting confident and stable in it. he makes friends who rib on him because they know he's got a good heart under it all, and moreover he lets them. he gets good at shouting something back and carrying on. you see the amount of conscious thinking it takes him to take some of those steps - rethinking his relationship with deku, the god am i really fucking doing this scoff before he gives kirishima back the money - but a lot of it is just steady growth. growing up. genuinely getting more comfortable and more okay with himself over time. but there's also all these little failures along the way because he's just a kid figuring it out, and also genuinely this anger towards the world for not understanding it when he does assert himself (sports festival....where deku also specifically notes that he knows he's not as confident as he wants to be!)

i haven't really closely reread bnha in a sec so a lot of this is probably a lot of projecting (i know it's undeniably influenced by the picture of bkg i have in my head) and i probably also didn't really clarify anything, because in the end everything bakugou is feels very trans to me. "the image you have of bkg katsuki in your head can actually be so personal" etc. digging into my archives i found this post from years back where i described basically the same stuff about bkg being a teen figuring himself out and saying "so yeah he's trans" without being able to hit it more on the head. kirishima is my favorite most special boy of all time, and i love him in so many ways, but bkg is my cringefail stinky teen boy in w the unshatterable determination to actually go MAKE himself the person he wants to be, no matter how many missteps he makes on the way there. it brings me a lot of comfort to imagine him being a self-made man as a part of the because gender is so confusing and questioning can be so intense. i'm 23 and i'm typing all this about an anime boy so i hope it's evident what a soul-bearingly honest answer this is bc otherwise oh haha embarrassing. but yeah i love that kid. i hope every little victory and day where his voice sounds good to him and glance of his top scars in the mirror feels like one of the high points on the journey

#bc i'm teaching in japan now right? trying every day to be a version of myself that i enjoy and that can bring good to the world etc #and i never...almost NEVER talk about my hero academia. with anyone #like a year ago in a jet dnd group i was telling a friend abt how i don't talk about bnha in class #and i said something about how like putting kirishima in a slideshow of mine would be like 'bearing a deep dark part of my soul'#and she was like. what? how? it's my hero academia #i agree. i also think i should be more like 'my hero academia is a show i like. i like bkg bc he's cool'#it really is just very important to me after all this time #anyway this is a lottttt a lot of personal rambling for a blog that i don't take as good care of as i should #but i couldn't give half an answer #ty for giving me a chance to talk about this and if you are seeing this i hope you're having a nice fall!!!#to anyone reading this i hope you're having a nice fall #asks

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possibilistfanfiction · 1 year

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Genuine question, how did you figure out or realize the whole being butch thing? What does being butch mean to you?

idk if it was like… figure out? more so just putting a name to something i’ve always felt or known about myself. i came out as a lesbian, then i came out as nb, then i was like well i want gender affirming care so that must mean i am Trans™️, & it’s like… none of those words or kind of… vibes (lol sorry) quite fit? i don’t feel like a cis lesbian, & i actually kind of despise non-binary as a concept (don’t send asks abt this i won’t answer them lol, do ur own thing if u love it that’s cool); i think for me personally Transness is a little too serious & intense & limiting to how i feel. & im a white afab person in a smaller body, & honestly…….. we are often the wooooorst demographic of trans ppl lmao so i just didn’t even rly like some spaces i was in. i got the most important gender affirming care i wanted, i moved & i got married, i got to work remotely etc

& so just sitting with all of that it was like. ok well a lot of neoliberal queer spaces piss me the fuck off; i’m not cis, but i’m not TRANS in the way a lot of ppl (very validly) feel; i do Not like nb. i’d read stone butch blues before, i have a degree in critical theory where i worked a loooot w queer theory, obviously i’ve written abt queerness for ages lol. so then i was just like ah. butch. dyke. YAH! sweet. 100/10 feels amazing i love it

& i think for me i love those words most bc they’re rooted in really radical belief that i have. they carry an ethic with them that, at its best & most intersectional ofc, i want to act on, all the time. i want to show up for people & be protective & tough & strong but i also so deeply want to be nurturing & nourishing. i want to allow myself to be nourished & cared for. i think it feels rly wonderful to have a word for transgressive gender that sums it all up bc people lived it before me. they made that very specific & particular space to experience femininity in a way that doesn’t feel like a noose.

i think also butchness is so expansive! something that never sat right w me abt the way we talk abt transness in the west is that i don’t think there are ‘pre’ & ‘post’ transition selves. like… i’ve never been Not Me? like i came out of the womb a dyke. all i did my entire childhood is run around in the mountains, catalogue leaves, play w my dog, read nancy drew, & avidly watch + play any women’s soccer i could. i loved to fish & mountain bike, i grew up in the desert so gardening to me was a miracle. i never cared abt gender at all beyond like ‘well i guess i’m a girl & the women i admire just won a world cup, they’re badass’ & that was it. i liked boys clothes bc they were practical & felt better, but i just. didn’t think about it. ppl called me a tomboy which was fine, i liked scout in to kill a mockingbird so whatever. but i never felt “non-binary” & i certainly never felt like a boy.

& i am… still just like that lmao. i hated my boobs, point blank day 1 lol, but that doesn’t have to mean i’m trans, or that i’ve somehow changed in a way that requires separation from who i’ve been my whole life. i HATE the language of ‘dead/lived’ name; i hate the weird expectation that u should allow the state to have all of ur gender stuff on record (no fucking thank you, y’all can keep my legal name & i will be flying under the radar lol). so i think western transness rly just. irritates me. doesn’t fit. hasn’t ever fit.

so butchness is like. i am 8 year old jude, i’m just older now. if this makes sense ur butch lmao but. it’s this rly free space to play w masculinity in a way that doesn’t necessitate western transness, & also doesn’t necessitate a separation from maternalism, which i fundamentally believe in. i don’t even rly think of my own care as “gender affirming” & more just like… essence affirming. i didn’t want top surgery so my body could be read as male; i wanted it so i could look like me. i want my clothes to feel & fit in a Very particular way bc that’s how i like them. it’s abt practicality, efficiency, comfort.

& lastly to me butchness has a remarkable space for tenderness that masculinity on its own just cannot hold. like. it’s abt being protective & strong, sure, but it’s in service of others. always always always. so sometimes that looks like communicating calmly, sometimes that looks like infinite small acts of service for ur friends or ur partner. when i think of settling into myself it’s more about returning to who i knew i was when i was a kid, when i was the only person my dog liked & how it felt to sit on the swings when the sun was setting after the monsoon; it’s allowing myself to love like that — caring, & quiet, & full.

ultimately to me butchness is about devotion, more than anything in the world. devoted to safety, devoted to community. no one is devoted the way dykes are bc it’s how we survive. it’s how we have always survived — the steadfastness, the faith, the joy, even thru suffering, to not be boxed in. to help each other. to be funny & kind & thoughtful & not reject the absolute best parts of womanhood for the sake of a western box. to demand care. it’s so beautiful. devotion.

tldr it’s the best

#got a lot of big feelings abt this right before therapy i guess lmfao

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swaglet · 23 days

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hi ms. tommy i think you are so cool, i love seeing more folks who say they aren't cis or trans bc i often really relate to that!! could u talk some more about how you're neither? for me i'm detrans and i don't think gender should rule anyone's life, like i think outside of amab/afab body types and stupid misogyny ruining things we're all just human beings. and i don't feel "binary" or whatever, but nonbinary seems meaningless too... i'm personally a (gnc) woman like i'm a female cat, i want to be seen as a cat not as female unless it's relevant, if that makes sense?? idk i'm curious abt ur experiences!!

i know exactly what u mean by the cat comparison. when people look at a cat they see a cat, regardless of whether the cat is male or female. like. u don't see a male cat and be like "here tommy tommy!"/"here gibby gibby!" and same goes for female cats like u dont say "psps come here queenie"/"come here molly molly" ..... you go "here kitty kitty :)" because it's just a cat. u want to be seen as a person not as a Woman Human or a Man Human and the (regressive) connotations that come along with both.

where most people will see a cat and think "look at that cat", it isnt the same when they see a woman and go "look at that person". its like... "look at that woman". idk. i identified as trans in some capacity for legit just over 10 years but no matter what, my life was dictated by the fact that the attribute of Woman/Girl was always noticed and applied to me before the attribute of Human Person if that makes sense. people really do see women and men as wildly different "types" of human people.

even tho i identified as trans for a majority of my life i still never considered myself biologically male because i feel like that would be silly. ive always been very passionate about speaking out about sexism even as a kid and it was just common sense to me that even though i identified as a boy (or as a nonbinary person) it was still extremely important that i am of the female sex. because i was born female, i am impacted by misogyny + have been impacted by misogyny for all my life + will continue to be impacted by misogyny for all my life, and transitioning won't ever change that.

i stopped outwardly identifying with any gender identity label (whether it was trans boy/man, transmasc, nonbinary, etc) when i came across the question "why do you want to be 'just a person' instead of a woman? is a woman not 'just a person?'" and that's when it all clicked. regardless of what i decided to call myself it would never affect the reality of my biological sex. i could shave off all my hair and get really jacked and dress in men's clothes for the rest of my life and grow a beard but none of that would change the fact that biologically, i am a woman, because a woman can be anybody. i still like to joke about how i'm like a woman if she was a man.

a lot of my issues i had as a kid that led me to feel dysphoria is that i never related to other girls. i was never overtly NLOG about it but i felt like an alien and like i was "born wrong" because almost every other girl or woman i came across in my life was feminine to some degree, i didn't meet another ssa woman until i was 13 and i was lonely and thought i was broken for being that way. it's like i felt like i didn't understand why femininity and the performance came so easy to everyone else and why i hated everything about it with my entire heart and mind and soul and body. but as i grew up and branched out i realized femininity isnt what defines "being a woman" and that femininity and masculinity in general are just made up concepts that are really harmful and designed to keep the status quo. i was never broken for being unable to perform or understand femininity i was just a bisexual little autistic kid.

if there were no gender stereotypes i never would have felt that way. if i had role models of gnc people and friends who were gnc. literally the only person in my life to tell me that it was ok to be "boyish" and like "boy things" was my mom and that's only after i wasn't cooperating with being feminized and she realized there are no "boy things" or "girl things" at all.

i'm similar to you in the sense that i'm detrans (only a very brief start to medical transition tho) and i feel like it's important to be honest about that. i talk about it openly in my life and reference my old names and stuff and joke about it. i just am in a different place and different mindset now; i don't have to change my body or my sex just to dress or act in a way that isn't feminine/expected of me. i can do whatever i want.

mostly i'm "neither cis nor trans" bcos i don't think 'cis' is a thing (no one "identifies" with their birth sex they just are their birth sex...) and i don't consider myself trans because i just straight up don't have a gender identity. i'm whatever. anyone can call me whatever. and i'm okay with anyone calling me whatever because it doesn't affect the fact that in reality i'm female. i'm still dysphoric and am diagnosed with it and all but i just don't think about it because i have better things to worry about and don't want to obsess over whether i'm correctly performing one sexist stereotype over another. i just want to be me and let other people know they can be them.

gender is not real it's a set of boxes constructed to oppress and control us. basically i just decided i will not be playing along at all since it is not real. u know what IS real though? my fucking period and pmdd and access to abortion and things that only affect me and other people born female. liberating us from sex based oppression is literally the only thing i care about

idk why saying stuff like this makes people upset. none of what i just said makes me a hater of trans people. they can do whatever they want. 2 of my 3 best friends in my friend group identify as trans and they know exactly what i think and they feel the same way, they just identify differently than me, and thats fine i legit dgaf. ive been there. i get it

i hope this resonated with u and thank u so much for asking 🫶🏻 u can always send more asks or message me if u want to talk, this goes for anyone and everyone

#>#askbox

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