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steamystrangerfics · 2 years

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Broken

Summary: You and Joe (Quinn) have been friends for a long time, he knows you have troubles with your self-image. He will always be there to take care of you. Always.

Warnings: self-image, fluff, talk of masturbation. (Literally nothing too much).

A/n: Okay I cried while writing this at points. This hit me hard. Idk why I made it so very personal, but I still feel it works for others. I just woke up today and was like I need to write this as an outlet (asexual people are people too.) even though I don’t mention the reader is ace and that the fact the not all aces are even this way- I’m gonna stop just read and enjoy.

Joe Quinn was the newest member of the hit Netflix’s series Stranger Things, you couldn’t believe it, your best childhood friend. You were so proud of him, but you missed him so much whenever he was gone working on his acting classes, you two had been through so much together. “(y/n), we are getting a break since this season is done and I get to come home. I was thinking,” Joe paused to take in a heavy breath like he was about to say his last words, “let’s get together at your place, like old times. After I see family, of course. I’ve missed you.” You held the phone close to your cheek hearing those words roll of his lips, “Yes,” you muttered, "yes of course. I’d love to see you, Joe.” With those word you both hung up, your head now spinning as you thought of the last time you saw Joe, it had been so long, but you remember it like it was yesterday. You closed your eyes as you imagined him right there, in your room, laughing- he has the perfect laugh, his eyes- he has the perfect eyes.

You wanted to try something, so you began trailing your hands over your body at the thought of Joe but stopped short when it didn’t do anything for you. Thoughts of him made you want him to be there forever – cuddling, kissing, embracing you, holding you, and never letting go – but why was your body broken, you thought.

A few days later Joe arrived, you weren’t sure whether you were pleased or upset anymore with the way your heart felt. Joe looked more stunning than ever; he was wearing a plaid button up top that was tucked into his denim pants. Why do I keep looking at my best friend like this, you thought as you shook your head. “Are you going to let me in or keep me in the doorway all night?” his lips curling into a playful smirk. He waltzed into your living room and made himself comfortable on your sofa, gesturing for you to come sit next to him, Why the hell am are you so nervous? He brushed a baby hair out of your face like he always used to, his hands were cold to the touch, “This feels nice, being back here again,” Joe’s voice was a soft whisper even though there was no one else in the house. He pulled you into a hug. You nestled you head into the crook of his neck, the smell of him was intoxicating to say the least. You could feel his hand tracing circles on your back as your stomach dropped, you had thoughts of the other night and roughly pulled away. “Let’s go out back to the pool,” you shouted harshly, not realizing how demanding that sounded.

Joe had brought swim trunks assuming you’d end up here, you two always did. It took you a long time to get changed into your suit. You had a light pink tankini top with white floral patterns and black swim trunks that came done to just about your knee. You’ve never been comfortable about your body, even though Joe told you over and over there was nothing wrong with you. He really was the greatest friend, you stood there tearing up as you looked in the full-length mirror, your mind couldn’t ush out the lies this time. After a little while of waiting with his feet in the pool, Joe knew something was wrong, so he made his way to your room to check on you. He found you in a ball on your floor in tears in your swimsuit as he ran in.

“(y/n)! (y/n), talk to me! What’s wrong? What happened?” Joe ran to your side, sat down on the floor, and lifted you up to lay your head on his lap. All you could get out was jibberish between the heavy breathing as Joe held you tight in his arms. He rocked you, talked to you, and pet your hair until you steadied your breathing and wanted to talk to him. You sat there in silence for a minute, head now on his chest and breathing along with him, thinking if you wanted to start the conversation that might hurt your friendship. “Joe,” you look up at your best friend, “have you ever felt,” you didn’t know how to say it without crying again, “broken?”

His hands cupped your chin to bring your face even with his, “everyone feels broken once in a while, baby, that doesn’t mean you have to fight these battles alone,” his other hand moved to her shoulder, ‘baby’ sounded nice coming from him, “you know I’ll fight any demons alongside of you. I’ve always told you that.” Joe was peering into your tear-filled eyes, he meant every word from the bottom of his big, dumb, mushy heart. You decided he was the best, and only, person you might be able to talk to about this.

“Joe,” you sat up, you couldn’t be on him while you asked this, “do you ever touch yourself?” You covered your eyes with your hands, feeling your face heat up. Peeking out you see Joe laughing at you, “it’s called masturbating, babe. I’d be lying if I said no,” his voice was cocky as he puffed out his chest like his just told you he was superman. You looked down at the floor below you, playing with the carpet, refusing to make eye contact, “what does it feel like, Joe?” Your voice was delicate, and it made Joe see that you weren’t joking around. He tried to lean over to you, but you pulled away, you’ve never moved away from him before. With a moment to think he finally answered, “it—well kind of—“, you gazed at him now with your doe eyes, “I think it feels different for everyone, (y/n). For me, it feels like a release, like something I wanted that I’ve finally given myself – but in my mind. Does that make sense?”

You started to giggle at his answer, “no, not even a bit”. Joe was still for a second, biting his bottom lip, then he spoke up, “Have you never- “, to be honest he was always very curious. He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly he started looking at you differently. You searched his eyes for comfort as he took your hand, this time letting him touch you, “I never- nothing never-“, you mange to stammer out a few words before he interrupts by reassuring you that it is nothing to be ashamed of. You place your head back on his chest feeling his heartbeat once again, “who would want to be with someone like me?”.

“I would,” leans to look her in the eyes. You sit up slowly never letting you eyes leave Joe’s, “But-“. “No buts, beautiful, I’ve loved you since we were young, and I will never let you feel broken. I want you in every way possible.” Joe stands to his feet taking your hands in his and guiding you over to the bed. Sitting you down at the edge of the bed, taking your hand and putting it on his bare chest. “You don’t have to feel anything sexual to do anything sexual. And we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” You nodded your head as your hand traveled down to his sternum, eyes interlocked with Joe’s.

Joe moved in close placing a small angel-like kiss on your cheek, then on your lips. It was just as you imagined kissing your best friend, comforting yet indulging. Joe reached down and played with the hem of your swimsuit top before removing it completely. You pulled away from the kiss, scared of being this exposed in front of a guy – in front of Joe. “You’re beautiful, never forget that, darling” he says as his smile melts your heart, somehow all your insecurities melt with it as you go back into the kiss, this time with more passion.

He glides his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for entrance, to which you give him. The kiss become deeper and sloppy as he now presses you back onto the bed making sure you are alright with every move. He straddles your thigh as you play with his curly brown hair, bodies pressed against each other. You can feel him reaching up to grab your breasts, you jump at the touch, “I’ll stop,” he cooed in an apologetic voice. “No”, you placed his hands back where they were, “I want you to touch me, Joe”, you closed you eyes to focus on his touch. His hands were warm now on your skin as he squeezed your breast. He pulled from the kiss to place his lips on your nipple, kissing and biting you. All you could think was that you wouldn’t want anyone else he with you. Still playing with his luscious hair, you can feel his bulge forming in his swim trunk on your thigh. You decide to lift your thigh rubbing against him as he groans. “Never leave me, Joe.” you whimper into his neck as you bring him close. “Never, (y/n). Never”.

#joe quinn #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joe quinn x reader

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

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Jumin is my favourite, but sometimes i'm scared he'd not like me when he first sees me.

I'm chubby and very much not conventionally attractive. I'm very insecure but I try to not let it show by boasting about myself and being sometimes annoyingly self absorbed (much like someone else *cough*).

So like, when you go to Jumins house during his route, I'd be genuinely terrified. Kinda feeling like I'd deceived him? If that makes sense? Like he'd expect someone absolutely stunning, but then it's "just me?" LMAO idk if this makes any sense at all.

Listen, honey. I want to know that it’s important to never detract from yourself in any way because you don’t fit the way that “society” wants people to look. I also want you to know if you haven’t heard it today, you’re beautiful just the way you are. I hope that you know this. It’s good to speak kindly about yourself because that’s healthier than calling yourself trash. It’s okay to be torn sometimes, but it’s not healthy to look at yourself and think you’re ugly or unworthy of love. I used to get down on myself like that a lot when I was younger and as I am now, I can tell you this.

The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. Sure, it can be tough to learn how to love yourself, and it’s okay if that takes time. But, the people who’re worth loving will look at you with stars in their eyes no matter what. You are very much worth loving no matter who you are. You are worth loving whether you are chubby or skinny or whatever word you want to use to describe your body type! I know that’s tough to hear because we always hear that. We always hear that we are worth love no matter but society continues to beat us down.

Before I got sick, I lived all my life as a fat girl. Fat’s not an ugly word, by the way, but I know that it can be uncomfortable for some people to use to talk about themselves because it might’ve been used against them in a negative way, so I won’t ever use that to describe someone else. Being chubby allows you to see a lot of ignorant and cruel people who think less of you and treat you like shit for it. It’s not right nor is it okay. That hurt comes with you no matter if you lose weight or not.

I always felt like I wasn’t beautiful or worth loving, either. We spend so much time looking at people who are smaller than us in the media that we internalize shame and self-loathing and worse because we don’t “look right”. I can honestly remember thinking what you think right here, that my being so different from the in-game MC sprite felt like if they knew what I really looked like, that none of the cast would love me the same way.

It might feel that way sometimes.

You look at MC in the game and you pause, you wonder, and you fear. You think that they love the slender avatar with straight hair, pale skin, and whatever else you notice.

But, that’s just the thing. The MC is just an image. They’re just an insert into the game for the artists to draw. They use a generalized appearance to fit the bill but the MC is meant for us to place ourselves there... not to imagine the MC is their ideal aesthetic. It’s not the face-claim they love, it’s the player. It’s you. No matter who you are, if you are the MC, they love you, they love everything about you. It is a fact. It’s you the RFA loves. Be it chubby, skinny, tall, short, curly hair, locs, straight hair, brown eyes, blue eyes, etc, everything that makes us who we are is loved.

So, here’s the fact about Jumin Han for you. You’re you. You’re the charming and delightful person who has been engaging with him from day one. You’re kind, bright, and wonderful. He loves the sound of your voice and he thinks it’s a relief when he sees your name light up on his cell phone. Your personality is the first thing he notices and he enjoys you. He enjoys being close to you this way because there’s never been someone like you in his life before. Someone who lights his fire to talk and be himself.

It’s a breath of fresh air for Jumin.

He has spent his entire life being picked apart by people for the way that he looks. He is what many would call conventionally attractive. He has been bothered because of that many times throughout his life. People would try to coerce him into doing things that he didn't want to do, and they would make comments about him in earshot. He's been sexually harassed more times than he can count on his hand but he never talks about it. He doesn't make a big deal about it because deep down he accepted that there was nothing he could do about it.

He knew that his father was going to continue to push people onto him no matter how much he said he wasn't interested. He pushed it off as much as he could even though his father continued to try and force that on him. It's hard for him because he does want a family relationship with his father but his father doesn't treat him the right way. He never has. He holds out on that but it never works out in the long run.

Because of this experience that he’s been through, he never trusts people on the surface. He doesn't see people for their looks. He's not looking at that because he knows people are looking at him like that. He hates that a lot. He hates the fact that people see him and project whatever they want onto him because of the way he looks. He's looking at the way that they act and the way that they treat others around them. He judges people for what's underneath the surface.

In his opinion, the only people that are ugly are those that have cruel hearts and minds. Kind people with open hearts are the most beautiful, and you, my dear, are that beauty.

This isn't to say that he doesn't notice the way that people look, it's just that he doesn't think about it. He doesn't want to judge people for their looks now or ever. He doesn't want to be judged for the way that he looks, either. In some ways, he can understand your experience and in other ways he can't. It's very interesting how pretty privilege can find common ground with the exact opposite situation. It’s in that way of people judging you for the way you look, but treating you one way or the other. Being judged for something out of your control isn’t an okay thing.

It’s that area that he could find enough mutual frustrating to learn more about the differences and why it’s such a problem all around, for sure. I can see him really putting in the time and effort to get people onto this. Society at large needs to be told that ridiculous standards and treatment of people have got to go. He knows his experience is different from yours and he’s benefited in ways that you haven’t been able to. So, trust him to want to learn and understand. The first second he hears of someone comparing his looks and yours, he’s ripping the press for it as soon as possible.

Jumin doesn’t stand for slander or fatphobia.

When you come into his apartment, kind, compassionate, willing to help him at the worst moment of his life, he’s so... relieved. He’s surprised, but he’s lost in your eyes. He didn’t know what you looked like, nor did he build an image of you in his head. He only listened to your voice and reminded himself that he would see you at the party for the first time. But, seeing you... seeing you in front of him after these long days of listening to your voice comfort him...?

His heart... feels perplexed. It’s warm. He’s still stressed out of his mind, afraid of losing Elizabeth, but you... your sudden arrival. This feels nice. “Oh, it’s you,” he would say with surprise on his face. “I didn’t expect to be face to face so soon. I am... actually pleased to see you even if I’m unsure of why you’re here knowing the hacker is still at large. You’re welcome here, I hope that your trip was safe to arrive here.”

He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t budge or show signs of disgust like you might fear so deep down inside. He looks relieved. He looks almost happy if it weren’t for the issues he’s trying to fight against with Sarah and Glam. He offers you his hand, warm and inviting, and even if your insecurities are buzzing, you can make no mistake here. You know he’s excited to see you. It might take some time for him to express how beautiful he thinks you are, how lovely you are to him, but he’s already feeling charmed by you. It’s only a matter of time.

You are you.

You are his MC.

He loves you for that.

So, when you look in the mirror and fear any rolls, wrinkles, or stretchmarks, remember this fact. Jumin Han will always look at you with love in his eyes no matter what. You are beauty incarnate in his eyes. He won’t hesitate to say that when you open your heart to him. If you tell him you’re insecure, he will find all the ways to reassure and comfort you otherwise. He treasures you, dear Anon. Never ever forget that fact.

“You are my partner,” he’d say with his lips pressed to yours. An intense look burning in his deep, dark eyes. “I love you. I love you. I never want you to speak ill of your body when it’s beautiful. You are the most lovely person I’ve ever met, so holding your body in my hands... feels like a glimpse of Heaven.”

#mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #mysme #anon #mysticmessenger #mm #jumin han #han jumin #character analysis

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lightwise · 9 months

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Ahsoka Episode 3 Spoilers/Thoughts

So I never actually got around to listing out my reactions to Episode 3. I laid out some of my thoughts on Sabine using the Force here, in two parts because I'm surprised it's taken me this long to transcend Tumblr's image limit on a post.

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!

My love for Huyang continues to know no bounds...obviously

Still annoyed that Sabine's injury is basically non existent at this point even if she does fiddle with her waistband like it still hurts. Girl you are moving fine, why are we pretending it wasn't a completely unnecessary plot point.

"You told her that??" "It's true." (Still loving the Tech/Huyang comparisons, which I laid out here.)

Oooh the training mask looks like the temple guard mask Kanan put on when he was blinded.

Those wooden training sticks are really beautiful. The props department did not forsake the details in this show.

"Anger and frustration are quick to give power, but they also unbalance you." I honestly really like Ahsoka's version of this more than Yoda's "they lead to the dark side." They can be helpful and sometimes useful tools, and they are innately human emotions. But letting them run rampart will leave you unbalanced and out of focus.

Mon my beloved! I realllly want to know more of why her leadership in the New Republic wasn't able to thwart the First Order (or I guess Thrawn coming back?) She's so capable and intelligent all through her efforts to fight the Empire and advocate for her people. I wonder if she kept her powers too minimal as an overcorrection from Palpatine that she was unable to influence senators like Xiono to do the right thing. Like give me a Dr. Pershing Mando season 3 level episode here on what's going on in the Senate, I beg you.

All of that said, in a vacuum I definitely understand the Senators' efforts to want to put resources toward their people and building up the new Republic, not further military operations. That's not a bad desire at all. Unfortunately it's just too early to let up on security yet (even though that is the same tactic Palpatine used to start squashing dissenters of the Empire in TBB).

Sometimes the dialogue in this show feels like it's not connected to the Rebels characters we know. Hera assuming that Thrawn had died in the first episode, now here she's saying he killed friends that were like family to her? Idk if these are Dave's attempts to give some context to new viewers, but they end up feeling like the characters don't remember what we know about them.

MEW is definitely nailing Hera's strength and emotion though.

Jacen!! And his hair is still green! I wonder what the Lego fakeout was for then. He's so Kanan's son. And Hera's face here!!

The whole conversation about the Force between Ahsoka and Sabine ahhhhhh

Lol the cup is so obviously on a track in the groove in the table

The entire conversation about Sabine between Ahsoka and Huyang AHHHHHHHH

DISASTER LINEAGE :D :D :D

Is it just me or if Hera and Sabine are going to be wearing heavy makeup, Ahsoka should have her darker purple lip color?

Sabine is everyone their first time playing a video game.

"I have several thoughts on everything else going on" LOL

I LOVE Ahsoka's ship. Homey and agile.

I was very worried that Huyang would get wiped with that power surge, but I guess after 25,000 years he's learned to have a backup databank or two.

Ahsoka in a space suit heck yeah. That's Anakin's padawan and Plo's adopted daughter right there. And I love that it's a continuous shot showing her getting back onto the wing/into the ship.

Marrok talking and flying a ship is so funny to me. Especially given ep 4.

Ahsoka and Sabine's dynamic feels much more dialed in now.

THE SPACE WHALES HAVE ARRIVED AND THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL

Huyang completely unphased at them almost dying multiple times. He knows what Jedi shenanigans are like.

Seatos is absolutely stunning. I can't get enough of the gray fog and the red trees

The visuals and the banter in this episode are 10/10

Intergalactic hyperspace lanes followed by the path of the Purgill!!!!

Man I need Baylon's backstory NOW.

#ahsoka #ahsoka tano #ahsoka show #ahsoka series #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series spoilers #ahsoka show spoilers #sabine #sabine wren #huyang #shin hati #baylon skoll #somelightramblings #some light ramblings

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linawritesocs · 8 months

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Here is my writing for you <3

Aka reasons why I KNOW Lilia x Lina x Rollo is canon frfr

First of all, the vibes and the aesthetics are there. Trust

The :D x :( x :| dynamic is so fun. So so fun

Lilia is scooping you and Rollo up in his arms and giving you both forehead kisses <3

You and Rollo have things in common and I think you'd be able to help each other get through a lot of stuff!

Plus Lilia is there to always support you and he's very understanding!! No judgment from him at all, absolutely 0

Again, LILIA AND ROLLO WOULD FIND YOUR SMILE AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU STUNNING!!! GORGEOUS!!! They wouldn't want to change a single thing about you!

They'd take such good care of you, no cap. Seriously. They'd be absurdly good at it. And they're incredibly careful and ask if you're comfortable :)

Why did they fall for you? Not sure with them but in my head, they saw a failgirl meow meow (affectionate) and went "OMG I LOVE THEMMM" and "...Okay so I love them"

Also that one Halloween drawing you did is like. Stuck in my head permanently. The vampire x witch x priest one.

Ngl I think y'all should have a pet cat. Idk why but it seems right

So the fireworks during masquerade, right? Or whatever they were if they weren't fireworks, I'm not sure jsndkfs

I think Rollo would take you both to a place that's kinda far and the sounds aren't very audible, but the view of the town is great! And you get a clear view of the fireworks so that you don't have to miss how pretty they are!

I'm trying to think of date ideas but I'm kind of blanking rn? I know it'd be something more low-key... OHHH what if cat cafe??? (I feel like I keep mentioning cats but that's literally your and Rollo's energies, I can't just forget cats)

Whenever you're sick, Rollo would definitely take some time away from NBC, like a few hours, so he can see you and make sure you're doing all right! Maybe he brings you some food or medicines he heard is good for you!

I'm sure Lilia does a really good job too, plus he'd make sure you aren't lonely and in low spirits!

Random thought: If Silver is basically the son of Lilia and Lina, what's Rollo's role? I feel like he doesn't dislike Silver, that's all, but if you have thoughts... 👁️👁️

Cottagecore house cottagecore house cottagecore house

Once y'all graduate I can see you having a cottagecore house. Yes just like Seth and Rollo

That's all I have rn but PLEASE RAMBLE IN YOUR RESPONSE IF YOU WANT!!! I WANNA HEAR MORE ABOUT THEM <333

HSDHDJSJSDJKSJS TARUUUUU THIS IS SO CUTE I'M GONNA CRYYYYYY

and you're right. rollo x lina are just cat x cat. both of them are so cat-coded.

THE IMAGE OF LILIA SCOOPING BOTH ME AND ROLLO UP IS SO FUNNY but it's okay i know he can do it

everything about the vampire x priest x witch au is perfect. lina and lilia already dating and lilia going "hey dude wanna form a polycule". rollo naming one of the bells john and making cole and sebastian worry for his mental health. rollo being So Scared that someone is gonna find out about his relationship with those two but when cole and sebastian do find out they just go "OMG SO YOU DO HAVE BITCHES SLAYYYYY- ahem, we mean. wow.. you're not maidenless.." lina secretly being a catgirl and hiding her cat ears under her witch hat and fully turning into a cat when she's comfortable around rollo. honestly priest!rollo is a very popular au concept especially with a vampire/witch/other "monster" s/o but like. come on. we all know this is the best one /lh

. I GUESS SILVER CAN ALSO BE ROLLO'S SON THOUGH THAT'D BE SO FUNNY IT'S LIKE ".. so. uh. y-you're dating my father." ".. yes" "and you're also dating my mother" "also yes" ".. uh. does that make you-" "i am literally one year older than you" "okay father number two" NO BUT THEY EVEN LOOK KINDA SIMILAR. KNIGHT OF DAWN WHO. i'm actually obsessed with the way how silver actually looks and acts like a mix of them. he can appear very suddenly, scaring others in the process, just like lilia, he's eepy like lina and also tends to blame himself a lot just like them and he looks a lot like rollo and is very serious and responsible, just like him. he is literally their son. i'm gonna sob

here are some of my fav lina x lilia x rollo concepts if you don't mind me sharing!

lilia is 700 years old and he's been through so much and it took a lot of time for him to change and become the gremlin that he is today. lina is MUCH younger than him, but she also had to go through a lot of horrors. lilia never says that their trauma isn't valid and never says stuff like "well at least you didn't have to fight in a war". he just hopes they can feel a bit lighter when he's around.

i've mentioned before that i imagine lina's unique magic hurting them a lot in exchange for them to do things as good (or better than) as others so yeah, maybe rollo would find lina suspicious at first but then imagine him finding out about what her magic is doing to her and he's like. "SEE. I AM RIGHT. WE HAVE TO SAVE YOU WE HAVE TO GET RID OF MAGIC WE HAVE TO-" and lina is standing there like "sir.. why do you want to save me.."

*sobs* rollo putting a flower in lina's hair while she's sitting lost in thought and comparing her to that flower *CRIES*

rollo being confused why lilia is 100% okay with a poly relationship and lilia is like "well. uh. well. you see. i have EXPERIENCE" mallenoa and her husband (possibly crowley)

ACTUALLY IT'S SO FUNNY bc if you think about it lina x lilia x rollo is like a reverse version of that relationship. it's not the "actual queen" and a "trash man" it's "the nbc student council president and the most talented student from that school" and "a wet cat i found on the street and said "i just think it's neat"".

*SOBBING* LINA HAS NOTICEABLE FANGS.. DO YOU KNOW WHO ALSO HAS THOSE.. which means linalilia can just bite rollo whenever they want.

lina and lilia dye each other's hair all the time and try to make rollo join them. they fail but it's okay

#AGAIN THANK YOU SM!!#lina answers #friend: taruchi!

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autisticcassandracain · 2 years

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Reread The Brave and the Bold (2007) #32 again and god. It’s so fucking good. Like yeah yeah the bitch with the ‘aquaman is an eldritch horror’ blog title loves the aquaman is an eldritch horror comic what else is new but PLEASE it’s SO good!!!

TBatB #32 is a stand alone team-up between Aquaman and Etrigan the Demon, and it’s a lovecraftian horror story. Straight up. The narrator is a fisherman who was nearly drowned at sea, and proceeded to accompany Aquaman and Etrigan as they stop an eldritch horror from invading this dimension. And if that hasn’t sold you on this comic idk what to tell you please read it it’s very good.

The comic is an absolute banger that I consider to be easily one of the best Aquaman comics of all time, and I think one of the main reasons it works so well is that the real eldritch horror isn’t the monster Aquaman and Etrigan are trying to stop. “Superheroes stop Cthulu” isn’t necessarily a bad story premise, but it’s really easy to lose that eldritch horror aspect with it, since if Cthulu can be beat, it’s not really Cthulu, now is it? The horror in lovecraftian horror stories comes not from the fact that the monster is big and powerful; it comes from the fact that it is unknowable, operating on a level that is fundamentally incomprehensible, and when you are forced to comprehend it, you have no way to cope with it. And that’s really hard to do if Etrigan can just. Set it on fire.

No, the eldritch horror isn’t the big squid monster rising up from the depths. It’s Aquaman.

Sure, the monsters from another dimension are also eldritch horrors, and the narration describes them as such, using all the eldritch horror clichés; beings that do not belong in this world, twisted, distorted, etc. And don’t get me wrong, it works, the visuals of the Big Monster specifically are stunning. But that’s not really the scary part of the comic. Sure, a being from another dimension raising an army of the drowned, bringing another army of humans crossed with monsters, is scary. But you know what’s terrifying?

The thing that can beat it.

Ultimately, it is Etrigan who deals the killing blow, but he’s not the one the narration focuses on. It’s Aquaman.

The point of view of the story is a fisherman, who had already known to respect the sea, but who hadn’t truly understood what it meant to command it. And although he is terrified of the eldritch being from another dimension, horrified at his friend being resurrected to fight for it - he is just as, if not more, terrified of Aquaman.

[Image: text box with the text: “But when the master of the seas tells you a thing, you believe it. Because you don’t want him to have to tell you twice.” Twice is emphasized. End description.]

This is at the beginning of the story, before he even witnesses anything, and the fear grows as the story progresses and he gains knowledge. He witnesses Aquaman control one of the eldritch monsters, willfully start a fight with the entire army.

And that’s, arguably, the turning point of the whole comic, where the realization hits. As Aquaman summons all the ocean creatures from a mile wide, we get this internal monologue:

[Images: first image is a series of text boxes that, together, read: “Like I said, he could control every creature that lives in the sea. But I don’t think either of you get what that really means. Do you know, do you understand, do you have any idea how much life there is in just one single square mile of ocean? I don’t think you do. Because I didn’t either. And if you multiply that by lots of miles in every direction...”

Here the next image appears, a full-page spread showing Aquaman with his arms spread wide, wearing a confident grin, and every square millimeter behind him packed with ocean creatures, fish, whales, dolphin, all swimming towards him. The narration ends: “I’d never seen anything like it in my whole life... and God as my witness, I hope to never see it again.” End description.]

As the battle escalates and the narrator gets confronted with more horrors, ultimately culminating and Not Cthulu coming through the portal we get this scene:

[Images: two comic panels. The first shows our narrator fisherman looking at Aquaman in horror. The narration states: “And I could hear its [the eldritch horror’s] thoughts, could hear it talking to Aquaman.” The monster’s speech to Aquaman is shown, as he listens to it: “...You may have all you wish... Join us, and we may conquer all... I offer you every land, every nation, the whole of the world above.” For the second panel, there is a close-up of Aquaman’s disdainful expression, as he says: “The sea covers seventy percent of the Earth’s surface... the land, only thirty percent. Why would I ever wish to settle for less? It’s all yours, Demon.” End description.]

Which clearly establishes which of the two horrors we should truly be afraid of. Not Cthulu is left bargaining, begging for Aquaman to join it, but it cannot offer Aquaman anything. His power is already too great.

As the comic closes, there is one final scene with Aquaman, which is, in my opinion, the scariest scene in the comic:

[Image: three panels. The first shows Aquaman talking to Etrigan, his back turned to the viewer, saying: “If the rest of the world had any idea how close they come every year to destruction... if they knew that we were the only thing standing between them and the night gods, they’d -- what’re you looking at?” Etrigan is looking past Aquaman to the viewer. Aquaman turns, looks, and says: “Ah, yes. It seems I’ve forgotten someone.” There is a close-up of his face, with an intense expression, as he thinks, telepathically: “None of this happened. Do you understand? This was all just a very bad dream.” The narration says: “And then everything went black.” End description.]

When the narrator wakes up, he is surrounded by people who believe he’s crazy, and he’s left desperate, desperate to prove it happened, desperate to prove it didn’t, desperate enough to dig up his friend’s corpse. And Aquaman was the one that caused that, not our dearest Discount Cthulu. Yes, that was the catalyst; yes, that was horrifying. But Aquaman was the one who made the narrator doubt, who dropped him off on a beach, in an effort to make him believe all that he saw was a dream. That’s where the desperation comes from: in the not knowing, in the uncertainty.

In the end, the beast can almost be understood. It can at least be defeated; there will be two people who can drive it back, stop it from taking over everything.

But the story is very conscious that this will diminish the horror, so it replaces that with another one, one who can’t be beat, who has enough power that Cthulu’s whisperings of power are a downgrade, who looks at a traumatized man and sees a lose end in need of cutting, and it’s our favourite talks-to-fish man. And that’s a truly fantastic narrative choice.

#rip to etrigan but aquaman rlly does steal the show in this comic #infodumping #arthur curry #aquaman #etrigan the demon #my posts #i think about this comic a lot #idk what made someone say 'you know what me need? a lovecraftian etrigan/aquaman crossover' but boy am i glad they did!!#i think the prose in this story could be stronger and the art is better suited to supehero comics than lovecraftian horror #which does work against the comic a bit unfortunately #but still. it's so good #really bold choice to try and make aquaman look scary in his normal goofy looking bright orange outfit but you know what #i respect that. if you can't make aquaman scary in orange you don't deserve to make him scary in a different colour #also it's kinda weird calling arthur aquaman so consistently but that's what the story calls him so

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chanstopher · 2 years

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genuine question, if you get a chance to meet chan what will you say and do? I have this thought coming up in my mind nowadays...

I'm that type of person that if I like someone or if I admire someone I feel very shy but i really want them to be my friends you know that feeling?

When it comes to thinking about Chan and if one day I get to meet him not like in fansigns or anything but like one on one without any interruptions or work/his idol life in the way it feels weird....... AHHHHHHHH!

I mean I would be nice to him since he's been always nice to us and basically anyone but deep inside I really just want to be part of his life in a way where we are great friends and get to talk to him and ask how his day went and how he is doing?

Idk maybe I'm just weird ahahahahahaha but the thought of just having to talk to him and interacting with him to me feels like a special moment, and i envy those that go to fansigns not because they can talk to him or the members but how brave they are to do that... Thoughts?

that is a hell of a question lol Im not really sure to be honest. I'd like to pretend I’d be able to think of something good to ask or talk to him about but i think that the fact that i adore and admire him so much would leave me a bit stunned if i got the chance to meet him, and i'd end up just mumbling out how much he means to me in some very embarrassing kind of way.

I completely get the feeling of just wanting to know him, I generally find myself curious of what his opinion of random things is, like when i watch something, or read something I'm like damn I wonder what Chris would think of this. or like if i go stargazing with my best friend, or we go to the beach to collect shells my brain is always like damn wish chris were here too he'd enjoy it. I dont think its weird, I think with how close he presents himself as a friend with channies room, and bubble its not hard to almost picture him as one. I think on top of the general awe of him being such a talented idol, the fact that he feels close and available makes it easier to let your mind wonder of what it would be like if he genuinely was available.

i think as long as we dont let our brains get reality too twisted theres nothing wrong with wondering about what it would be like to befriend and know him or any of the boys. i think kpop in general opens that idea up, and skz not really upholding a typical idol image by being themselves all the time makes it easier to picture as someone you could just sit in talk to over a meal with about nothing at all.

#drm.ask #anon

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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years

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The Sleeping Situation

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: minor mentions of blood, minor (non-descriptive) violence Summary: You finally convince Bucky to sleep with you in the bed, as opposed to the floor, but you find it doesn't exactly go as smoothly as you had hoped it would, leading to some taunting emotions and revelations. A/N: This one went over pretty well on ao3 so fingers-crossed y’all enjoy too! idk how different audiences are - i just like sharing my work :)

Masterlist

You had finally convinced him. After weeks of hints and attempting, he had finally placed himself beneath the duvet, snuggled up right next to your body.  It was something close to a miracle. Bucky had been sleeping on the floor for as long as you could remember. It had become really something you accepted — like clockwork, after watching a show or movie in the bed, he’d let you doze off then untangle himself to go to the living room.

When you first moved in, he didn’t think you really noticed. He’d always be up before you anyways, nothing seeming out of place but as if you possessed some sixth sense, you could always feel Bucky’s arms leave your waist as he went to retire in the living room.

During attempts at bringing up the bed, Bucky would dismiss it, saying he just hated how soft it was. He couldn’t get comfortable. He wasn’t used to it at all. And while you didn’t doubt this for a second, you still felt something deeper worries had been brewing.

You had decided to start small by having Bucky stay cuddling after your nightly movie viewing. You two would lay in the bed, staring at the ceiling, mindlessly talking about whatever was going on with your days. He seemed at peace with this until your eyes started drooping. Within seconds, the grip on your waist would vanish and he was heading out.

It was fine, though, since you had your moment together and he had found some way to relax in the bed. While you never wanted to push him, you wanted him at least content.

The next level was napping. After work, nearly every day, you’d announce you were laying down for a nap and ask Bucky if he was tired. Usually, he’d just shake his head. But one day he looked absolutely spent and wordlessly followed you into the room. A thrown arm around you loosely, he was able to get some shut-eye…for about 15 minutes. Soon he was uncomfortable and placing a kiss on your cheek, following it with a recoil of his touch. Still, you were taking the win and slowly but surely, the time spent napping would go up. Days bast but eventually he was up to an hour in the bed, napping peacefully.

When he finally decided to take the step to join you for a full eight hours in the queen-sized bed, you were quite shocked but easily overwhelmed with joy.

The movie had just ended and you were closing the laptop when Bucky left the bed. You frowned, watching his figure disappear to the bathroom, worried he was already backing out before cuddles and pillow talk. But you didn’t say anything and instead got comfortable on your side (well — the whole thing could’ve been your side at this point).

As you drifted off, a heavy arm snaked its way around you as you felt the other side of the bed dip. Blinking your eyes opened, you looked over your shoulder and was greeted by a nervous-looking Bucky staring back at you.

You turned to face him and asked, "Everything okay, honey?"

He nodded, "I- I’m going to try- try sleeping here if that’s okay."

Your eyes beamed as a smile you couldn’t suppress made its way to your face. "Of course," you said and placed a good night kiss on his lips. "Sleep well."

"You too, doll," Bucky mumbled and placed another kiss on your forehead. You curled up into him, feeling that he got more relaxed and his heartbeat went steady, drifting off to sleep.

***

Shaking. You were disrupted by something…shaking. Violently. Your first thought as you blinked, waking yourself out of your dazed sleep, was that a spontaneous earthquake was happening.

Except once your mind adjusted, it didn’t take very long to realize the mattress was the only thing shaking — and was the result of Bucky twisting and turning in fear next to you, lost in a nightmare. At some point, he must’ve untangled your cuddling bodies but thankfully that allowed you to sit up quickly, not trapped under whatever was happening.

You watched him, quite stunned to see Bucky thrashing around uncontrollably as whatever images and scenarios took over his brain. You didn’t really know what to do. All your brain could focus on was getting him out of his own thought. You needed him to calm down and know he was perfectly safe.

"Bucky?" You mumbled, your voice scratchy from the tears and fears creeping up. He didn’t react, only whispered some words to himself that you didn’t understand.

You hesitantly reached out for him, placing an experimental touch on his shoulder. He didn’t react at first so you called out his name again and tried shaking him. That was apparently not the right move because the next thing you knew, you were being flung off the bed, the side of your face against your bedside table on your way down. You landed ungracefully on your side, groaning at the unexpected pain.

The fall must’ve been loud enough because the next thing you could comprehend was watching the bed and seeing a very confused and dazed Bucky sit up. He was looking around the dark room, sweaty and anxious. When your eyes met, any color left in him faded. You could practically see the gears turning as he realized what he had done. You on the other hand were still quite surprised by the incident, simply choosing to stare at your boyfriend, watching him scramble off the bed and kneel at your side.

"Doll?" Bucky asked right beside you but his voice sounded so far away.

Taking some deep breaths, your shaky hand came up to your cheek as you felt something wet. Looking at your fingers, it was a sad mix of tears and blood.

A hand being placed on your shoulder made you snap back. You jerked away, turning towards your boyfriend. Bucky was practically frozen watching you, hands in the air, as you rushed to put space between you two.

Realizing the consequences of your actions, your heart sunk and you began apologizing. "Sorry, sorry," you mumbled, trying to furiously wipe away the tears and blood. "I- What happened? Are you okay?" You situated yourself to sit criss-cross in front of him.

"Am I okay?" Bucky shook his head in disbelief. "Are you okay? I- I’m sorry. God, I don’t even know how to apologize for this I am- I am so sorry, doll, I didn’t mean it. It wasn’t me, I swear, it- I had a nightmare and I just- I don’t know what happened." He was rambling, body shaking as he didn’t know what to do. Where to begin. How to explain. His mind was torn as a part of him wanted to hold you… And the other part wanted to leave you forever, utterly terrified of himself.

"Yeah, you seemed a bit upset," you mumbled, trying to hold your hand to your scraped cheek. Bucky saw your struggle and darted to the bathroom to get a washcloth, offering all he could as his words were failing. He handed it to you then took his seat again on the floor.

You dabbed your skin, checking the cloth as the bleeding slowed down. You weren’t sure what to say, either.

"I didn’t know what to do," you finally whispered, looking down at the carpet beneath you. "You were shaking and tossing and- and I just wanted you to wake up. To know you were fine. You seemed so scared-,"

"Alright, alright," Bucky mumbled, cutting you off as he saw you beginning to get worked up. Your body was shaking now as you recalled the last few minutes. The pure suddenness and terror that took over the room. He placed an experimental touch on your knee and, thankfully, you didn’t jump away. "You were fine, doll. This isn’t your fault. I- I knew I wasn’t ready to sleep with anyone and I got ahead of myself and now… Look what happened. God, what have I done?"

His jaw clenched as he spat out the words. You jumped slightly.

"Bucky, you didn’t mean to-,"

"But I did it," he said. "I hurt you and now I think maybe this just isn’t…" He faded off, his hand leaving your knee. He turned towards the bed as you tried searching him for anything, any answer.

"James, don’t." You shook your head. Bucky’s head whipped back to you as he heard the anger, the seriousness, in your voice. "Don’t say whatever you’re going to say. Let’s just go back to sleep and we can figure stuff out in the morning."

Bucky bit his tongue. He just nodded at your request, seriously not trusting his words anymore. He had half the mind to walk out, disappear into the world without you, all in the name of keeping you safe. And like the mind-reader you could be, you knew it. You saw it in his entire demeanor. He was practically planning an escape route at that very moment.

You two finally stood up from the floor. After disregarding the washcloth, you found your way back under the duvet. Bucky wordlessly gathered a blanket and left for the living room, knowing very well this bed was going to be the last place he fell asleep for a long time.

"Bucky," you called out as you were turned away from him. He stopped in the doorway. "To talk in the morning you have to actually be here."

He didn’t respond and instead just nodded his head as if you could see it. Then he promptly exited the room.

While the bleeding had stopped, the tears weren’t as you only heard the sound of Bucky walking to the living room.

***

Bucky was there in the morning and you talked — you. Only you could formulate words as difficult as it was while Bucky sat across from you. The guilt, shame, the exhaustion, all of it was painted on his normally sweet face.

You had told him you were fine, were feeling better. You were going to be okay. You understood the bed situation and wouldn’t pressure him into sleeping anywhere he was uncomfortable. You just desperately wanted him to be okay, to feel safe and happy in this space with you. Bucky just nodded along as you began attempting to write out a plan in case that had happened again. Nothing seemed to bring a true conclusion but there was at least the idea that there’d be no more touching of either person in their sleep, at least for the time being. It crushed you both, but neither of you commented.

He didn’t really offer much input besides agreeing with your points. Every other word out of his mouth was "sorry" so much so to the point you had to beg him to stop it.

He mostly just listened which you generally would enjoy from any man but in this case, you knew it gave his brain time to wander. Probably still planning how he would get himself out of his. But you didn’t want him gone. He was practically the perfect significant other in every sense. No one had ever treated you with such kindness and respect. Showered you with romance and kisses. Surprised you with date nights and flowers. You were just at a bump in the road and you didn’t want to get stuck behind it so easily.

Few days had passed and stuff seemed to be edging back towards normal. He had begun even holding your hand again, just a gentle touch to work his way up, reminding you greatly of when you first started dating, but you were welcoming it all with great patience.

You were standing at the kitchen counter cutting up vegetables for dinner when Bucky came home. He had a therapy appointment that day and usually emotions could be all over the place when he came home. Some days were good, some days everything would get under his skin.

Today, though, he seemed just… fine. He came in quietly and planted a quick kiss on your cheek before grabbing a beer from the fridge. He asked if you needed any help and when you shook your head, he went over to sit on the couch, watching whatever reality show you had mindlessly playing.

Moments passed and you had just begun sautéing the cut-up veggies when Bucky spoke, cutting through the silence quite surprisingly.

"I told her what happened," Bucky said softly. You froze, eyes trained on the skillet in front of you. His therapist. He had told her.

"Oh?" You asked, silently cringing at your stupid response. Neither of you had exactly brought up the incident since that morning after. And if anyone was going to resurface it, you had assumed it’d be you, so hear him so casual was making your heart pound.

"Mhm," he hummed. "I told her my first reaction was to leave."

"Bucky-,"

Footsteps started towards you, stopping at the little kitchen bar. You could feel him watching you as you tried focusing on the cooking produce. Your breath started to get caught in your throat, so much worry and concern washing over you.

"She wanted you to come in one session," Bucky tapped his fingers on the counter. "So we can talk."

You frowned and finally turned towards him. Worry was splashed everywhere on his face. Your heart practically sobbed. "Bucky, we did talk about it."

He shook his head profusely. "No, you talked," A beat. "I stood there like a statue, thinking of ways to leave you. Ways to get out of this so I’d never had to see that scared, upset look on your face ever again. So I’d never have to cause you any more pain than I already have. But I’ve come to realize I can’t do that because I love you too much and I- I can’t run away from you or anything. I’m going to try… No, I will make it right."

Your heart sank at his confessions. He loved you — a word he had never explicitly said before. A four-letter word he had never stood there and outwardly said. You let out a light sob and went around the kitchen counter, throwing your arms around his neck. He was shocked at first, maybe even a bit unsure, but you weren’t letting go, he realized, until he held you back.

"I love you, too," you eventually mumbled between the tears. You pulled away slightly, keeping your hands on his arms while his hands rested comfortably at your waist. Just feeling his touch had you melting all over again. "We’re going to be okay, Buck. It’s going to be fine."

He nodded, his eyes searching over your face as the scrape on your cheek was just still barely visible. It was going away fast but he didn’t think he could ever unsee it. "You’re right, doll, we’ll be okay. I’m working on it."

You gave a small smile. "You can’t be perfect, Bucky."

"Maybe not," Bucky shrugged as his hand found its way to your face, caressing your unharmed cheek. "But I at least gotta try to be perfect for you."

You sighed, leaning into the loving touch. Looking in his eyes you could kind of see that it truly was going to be okay. He looked so passionate and dedicated when he stared at you like you were it in the world. The only thing there. It made your soul sing and you hoped he saw it in you, too. "You are, honey. You already are."

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #marvel one shot #marvel fanfiction #marvel #avengers #mcu #mcu fic #angst #fluff #writing*#one shot

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

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Thoughts on “Auntie Soka and Little Leia” now that I’ve actually got it posted:

Call it a director’s cut! The process of actually writing the thing, and also jokes made along the way. Link to the actual fic.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy for image descriptions, even the text screenshots. Might come back that later. Most of this was DMs with @atagotiak.

This was an entire thing before I even started writing:

Before I decided on ages and stuff Ahsoka, to Jango, who has had zero contact with Kaminoans: Okay I know I'm a Jedi kid so you hate me but this toddler is your clone from the future. Jango, tired: What the FUCK are you talking about. Rex, barely able to talk: Don't you dare leave me with him, Commander! Ahsoka: I'm not going to leave you I just--I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired I haven't slept in five days and someone tried to kidnap Leia two days ago I am so fucking tired I need help

Ben: [twenty years of depression followed by a 'now I'm safe' breakdown over the course of weeks] Sokari: [whatever the FUCK this mess is]

When Ahsoka mentions there only being three other Jedi at the time of her death, I was thinking Kanan, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (Leia told her about the latter two living past her). She's not counting anyone that received training after the Temple fell, and she didn’t know about Cal.

When Leia says “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”

Depa: I'm no therapist but I diagnose you with "incredibly fucked up." Ahsoka: yeah, that’s fair

"Why did you pick Depa for--" She's pretty and I'm gay. Also because of the Kanan thing But mostly I'm gay "It's not a visual medi--" GAY

Empty of context beyond general post-fic AU: "Hey Sokari, we need to engage in psychological warfare against this individual and--" "I'm going to break into his office and leave a threatening note on his desk and leave no other sign that I was there. He'll see that his security is nothing and the only reason he isn't dead is because I'm too nice to kill him." "...okay, not what we were planning, but that works. Why is that your first choice?" "I really like breaking and entering, it's soothing." Ben just standing there with a bland smile like This Is Normal.

"We need someone to infiltrate a highly guarded facility in hostile territory." "So we're sending the Torrent kids?" [sigh] "We're sending the Torrent kids."

Rex and Sokari insist on both going by "Torrent" even though Rex could be a Fett. Jango really wants him to be a Fett. Rex has too many grudges to agree to being a Fett for... a while.

I really hope it's blatantly obvious that Ahsoka's not a reliable narrator for some things Ahsoka: Fett could care less if I died Jango: jfc even if you are older than me I can see you're fucked up. Drink your hot chocolate. Hells. She's got good reason to expect him to hate her as a Jedi! BUT. THAT IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF REALITY

We don’t get a lot of actual characterization for Jango, but the way I played him out here is he has never really parsed that Jedi are people before all this. It's a lot harder to treat them as a monolith when the traumatized former child soldier is having regular breakdowns in your shitty little kitchen

Fett: I respect you Ahsoka: No, don't do that

Ahsoka’s vigilantism is something that, in my mind, she's associating heavily with Zygerria and then the clones.

I figured that she never bothered to learn Quinlan’s teacher’s name but in the process of looking up some basic facts (whether he had a surname), I found that Wookiepedia was forced to give us a VERY wide range of possible death in Legends.

Please take a moment to imagine Quinlan's FACE when Ahsoka initially dismisses him. Quinlan has put a lot of effort into being rogueishly charming! It's very useful for his line of work! He knows to expect either irritation or a return flirtation when he acts like this with people his own age! Ahsoka is not flustered OR rolling her eyes and insulting him, she's just ignoring him and it's a bit of a blow to the ego

This just makes me really happy:

This was the initial comment I made, as a joke What if Maul is just. There. On one of the planets they make a pitstop at. What if Maul exists as the walking problem he is, but fifteen, and Ahsoka immediately tries to kick his ass and drag him back to Coruscant. I do not have room for this plot but What If

Despite not having room for this plot, I proceeded to write this plot.

Maul is kidnapped and it’s the best thing that ever happened to him HE'S FIFTEEN HE'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND YEAH HE'S A DARKSIDER BUT HE'S FIFTEEN

Ahsoka: I sense... Maul [takes off sprinting] Rex: [immediately takes Jango's blaster and runs after her] Jango: Wait who Tholme: Who Quinlan: Who Jango: [looks at Leia] Leia: I don't know who that is either! Ahsoka, already wrestling a teenager to the ground: Oh no, you're a child, REX STUN HIM AND GRAB THE CUFFS, I'M SURE FETT OR THOLME HAS SOME

Fighting him isn't even legal, they have NO evidence of criminal wrongdoing, so first she needs to yell until he admits to something she can fight him about

Ahsoka: When I see Maul, it's on SIGHT Maul: WHO ARE YOU

Ahsoka: The Force didn't give me hands just to NOT throw them when I run into That Crafty Son Of A Bitch

Ben, when they arrive, after the tearful reunion: You... you brought Maul. Ahsoka: Well, yeah, he's fifteen and kinda dumb. I figured we could drag him here and force him into therapy, see what happens. Ben: I can't quite tell through the gag, but I think he's threatening to feed you your own spleen. Ahsoka: Lol, yeah.

Ben is absolutely on team "get Maul therapy" and will fight the Council on rehabilitating the baby Sith But also it's like. Here's your daughter! And your niece! And your daughter's QPP! Also your best friend, but baby, and his teacher, and the biological origin of a number of people you cared for deeply! AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SPENT LITERAL DECADES CRAVING YOUR DEATH, FOR SOME REASON

I just really want Ahsoka lovingly bullying Maul She gives him noogies and the horns don't protect him because girl has reinforced gloves

Maul's only allowed a low-power training saber and his fights with Sokari involve Much Taunting by her and Eventual Screaming by him, and everyone pops by to see: 1. Sokari doing the most absurd flips, for fun. 2. The bullshit that is ataru-shien reverse-grip jar'kai in the hands of someone who makes it work 3. What a Sith lightsaber form looks like 4. Just the general nonsense that is the way these two fight

Tia said “Wrt ridiculous flips. I'm remembering that time she beheaded four Kryst'ad at once.” and I just Rex brings up the quadruple beheading at one point to get someone to stop asking questions and the awkward, horrified silence almost makes him regret it. And then Sokari just snorts and makes a joke about how Rex once speared a slaver point-blank and everyone's just like hello??? "are you two okay" "no"

Maul absolutely starts crushing on Sokari after a 'sword under chin' moment and she's just very "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you're fifteen, bye" GO MAKE PUPPY EYES AT OBI-WAN OR SOMETHING

The crushes are the worst part of everything, really, she's an attractive young woman that can kick a lot of ass, and a lot of people are into that! Unfortunately, most of those people are a decade younger than she is, mentally, because all the people her actual age look at her and see a child on account of the 17yo body.

It’s almost a good thing she’s in no place mentally for a relationship.

I just want Ahsoka to wear beskar.... I think that would be Nice........

This AU is also what caused this post.

I'm deeply enamored by the idea that Ahsoka can win fights against "older" padawans pretty much unilaterally, even when they team up 2v1 And then she offers to fight 5v1 "But only if I have permission to fight dirty." Ben approves it, a horror show full of "I fought many wars and will scream in your face or kick you in the balls if that's what it takes" follows She wins. There are no permanent injuries, but her reputation certainly gets weirder. Nobody under the rank of Knight agrees to let her fight dirty again. She just lets that stand because, well, she's not actually a padawan, she's thirty-three.

I’m not going to write this but my brain was EVIL and suggested it:

IT WOULD BE REALLY SAD IDK maybe 9yo Anakin has nightmares about what's happening to baby Ahsoka because bullshit about time-traveling force bonds IDK ANYWAY he cries to Sokari about the nightmares and she's like "oh shit" and it's time to go rescue herself from motherfucker unlimited

It's either that or she's like, expecting to welcome mini-me aaaany day now, for like, several months, before she realizes Something Went Wrong. Anakin’s dreams could even start right as she’s starting to realize something’s off.

Obi-Wan has never had a padawan that doesn't at some point bite Even Luke will, when pushed

OH also once the twins get Baby's First Lightsaber (training sabers, not real kyber), Sokari begs to borrow them for a dumb joke and tells Rex to get on her shoulders for a "Grievous Greeting" and they do The Thing

Jango and Ahsoka wrt Quinlan is just “Do I need to beat him up for you” “You realize I’ve beaten up sith lords before?”

JANGO'S TRYING He's just. "Can we be friends? Can I--can I be the guy that just noticeably gets in the way of a creep on the subway so you can be more comfortable without someone making a scene? I'm fucking trying here, give me a hint."

We didn’t actually figure out Jango’s age until this point. The only reason Fett's age matters is for Quinlan making a Wild Oats quip after Jango says he didn't know about Rex until a few weeks ago, and Fett going "How old do you think I am? And how old do you think the kid is?" and Quinlan getting Very Awkward as he does the math. Rex overhears and lets Quinlan sweat for a bit before saying "I'm a genetically-modified clone someone grew in a tube, he didn't know or have reason to know until he saw me with Sokari." Which is like. Eight additional layers of WTF, obviously, but at least Jango gets to avoid awkward wild oats jokes

Like, you’d expect the rebuttal to be ‘he’s my brother just with a biiig age gap’ or ‘he’s my nephew’

I find it very unfortunate for Quinlan that I've decided his defining characteristic in this context is going to be repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth

He’s trying so hard but "That sounds like a cool thing, maybe I'll ask ab--and it's another fucking trauma."

I'm doing Ahsoka&Jango t w i c e (there’s another fic where I’m doing it)

It’s just a fun dynamic! So much resentful respect.

Like she's twenty seconds away from calling him a bitch at any given time and he's just there like "I don't like you but I do see you move like you're about to tell an entire building to get on their knees with their hands in the air and I can respect that" Also she's probably much less judgmental about using blasters than Obi-Wan is The Maul subplot actually started with me daydreaming about Ahsoka grabbing a blaster for Reasons

I like the idea of Jango just deciding the most Useful thing he can do is help teach the Smol how to fight. He's AWKWARD around Rex and Soka because he doesn't know if there's anything he CAN teach them.

I didn’t actually plan for Tholme to figure out the age thing, he just SAID it and I had to sit there like Wait.

Ahsoka, Rex & Leia: ahhh, children Tholme: you say that like you aren’t children

I liked getting to write Rex's little "I have worked with all of them, and they're all Terrible" He loves them But They once got stranded on a planet that didn’t exist and Ahsoka died and Anakin killed a god.

There was research and discussion as to whether Ahsoka could win against Tholme but seeing as she held her own against Vader, and fought Grievous at that physical age without dying, etc.... yeah, the only thing holding her back was her body not being what she was used to, and she’s had a few weeks go adjust.

“I miss being able to just jump off skyscrapers” is such a jedi thing

Jango: I'll take the gun back if he tries to leave, they can't get far before--WHAT THE FUCK He knows Jedi are scary but he’s still not really used to just how over the top ridiculous they are He knows how to deal with Jedi in battle, not Whatever The Fuck These People Are Doing

Rex isn't even a Jedi, he's just so used to working with them. “Oh yes time for free-falling without a parachute again, same shit as always.”

Tia: I’m imagining Jango freaking out and Quinlan and Tholme being like. Concerned but mostly exasperated Clearly if they’re jumping off buildings it must be serious? But jfc they could’ve maybe communicated a bit more?

Leia: I want to finish my juice Tholme: Quin, stay with her while we go figure out what those two are doing. Quinlan: Wait what

Jango: Oh now he’s jumping off a building too??? Tholme: Sokari, you are not registered! You can't legally jump out windows yet! Jango: What the hell is going on? Is this normal?

We don’t necessarily know how often Ahsoka and Maul ran into each other after Mandalore. There was the later thing on Malachor, but other than that I'm just going with the idea that they ran into each other every year or two and just went for the eyes like feral cats

Ahsoka: I need to kick ass and you're coming with me. Rex: Yeah, okay. [several minutes later] Rex: Whose ass are we kicking?

Ahsoka and Rex

Neloms aren’t a SW fruit to the best of my knowledge, I just wanted to mess around with lemons/melons

Jango: you didn’t think any of this through, did you? Rex: you were there, you know we didn’t "When the Jedi says to jump out a window, I jump out a window."

Tholme’s real composed about stalking the ancient nigh-mythical enemy of his people, very “Life is already so goddamn weird”

This fic has been so heavy on the trauma but then I introduce Maul and suddenly it's the worst kind of comedy Nobody is competent, everyone's a little dumb, the bad guy is just grocery shopping

My propensity for banter has turned this into a six-person buddy cop comedy about Maul buying grapes They spend a significant amount to time ineffectually stalking Maul before Quin suggests the sensible option Quinlan just "You remember this is my literal job and specialty right"

Ahsoka sees Maul and all her brain cells go out the window except "Fight good" Usually she doesn’t need to worry about doing things legally. Maybe she needs to worry about someone seeing her do illegal things but she spent the past 15 yrs in a place where her existing was illegal

I feel like he’s also maybe kinda wanting to reassert that yes he is competent. Bc like. Ahsoka’s been kinda condescending this whole time and also can beat everyone up so. It's not his fault that he's actually the youngest person there, but.

Jango is finding this whole being friendly to Jedi thing a lot more overwhelming than he thought it would be. And overwhelming in different ways.

Maul usually signifies things getting worse and more horrifyingly tragic but he's just a dumb teen that they needed to arrest for his own good.

Quinlan: Look, I'm useful! Ahsoka: I've been through hell, wanna hear? Quinlan: NO. I DON'T. WHY.

Quinlan: I understand the concept of joking about your traumas, I do it sometimes myself! But sith hells that’s a lot of trauma.

Quinlan just wanted her to treat him as a Competent Individual, and here she is whipping out stories about Dying and Gods and the Force insists it's the truth and he just???? And apparently emo darksider over there is a Sith. And just, sure. Why not

A lot of people’s interactions with the time travelling disaster lineage is just

Tholme and Fett arguing and Ahsoka's just waiting for a moment to pop in with "Hey, when's the last time either of you worked with the other's culture before this mess? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Much like Leia and Ahsoka hurting each other earlier, and Tholme figuring out the de-aging, we ALSO have Fett’s confrontation with Ahsoka being something the characters just did, rather than something I planned.

FTR the only time I managed to trigger myself while writing this fic was the “your behavior isn’t actually acceptable and we’ve all been trying really hard to give you room to recover but you have to at least make an effort to not be a bitch”

Writing about people having PTSD and symptoms of such: Yay! Writing about people having PTSD and engaging in toxic behavior to cope: Shit Ahsoka had... basically my exact reaction. It's "remind yourself that you're in the wrong, that they have a point, and then be overly formal in the apology because fuck if you accidentally make them feel sorry for you when they're the injured party"

Quinlan: Can we be friends? I mean, you're an asshole, but you're really cool. Let's be friends. (He MIGHT be nursing a crush) (Neat mysterious girl who can beat him up.)

Also he realises she's probably nicer when not having a slow-motion breakdown He's like "Huh, you'll probably be less of an asshole once you've gotten therapy."

...also, she pretty and got Nice Biceps

I love writing a good mental breakdown

I was so close to including a "he tried to kill me" just early enough for Jango to wildly misinterpret as her thinking Quinlan tried to kill her. He'd have been very confused, considering Quinlan's the one that called them down in a panic and currently has Ahsoka having her massive breakdown in his lap But

Tia: I could see Jango interpreting it as idk, Quin resembling someone or for a moment acting like someone who tried to kill her and she had a flashback or something like that

There's absolutely room for a couple reasonable interpretations there And "trapped in a flashback about someone who tried to kill her" is absolutely what's happening! Just. You know. For a different reason. Jango probably wouldn’t assume Quin would hurt her, for one thing he seems to like her, for another even if he did he’s smart enough to pick a way that wouldn’t be so likely to get him caught

I had to step back and actually say “Also I'm just. Wow. I'm really just shoveling QPP Rex&Ahsoka at full speed”

Me, a few weeks ago, joking: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist Me, now, entirely seriously: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Me, belatedly: Oh, Ahsoka being joyfully mean to people was a form of mania she was unconsciously using to build a barrier between herself and her impending meltdown

She went from "just died" to "in charge of Rex and Leia" in like. Two minutes.

Confession: I've been delighting in the mental image of this whole Mess leading Jango to try to retake Mandalore, and Ahsoka loans him a saber for a 1v1 to get the darksaber.

“Can’t I just fight him barehanded? That’s how I did it on Galidraan.” "But the drama, Fett!"

Probably Rex has learned how to use a saber as well, because you never know when you have to borrow a weapon

I later changed my mind to Jango asking her to help, rather than her just sneak-teaching him, but it was funny.

Background nonsense to all this is Ahsoka and Rex, despite Rex being as force-sensitive as a lump of coal, having developed a process where she can extend her sensitivity to him mind-to-mind for weird symbiotic battle trance that scares everyone around them. It’s very similar to Battle meditation.

CONTEXT FOR LEIA BEING WORRIED ABOUT THOLME HIDING THINGS: Tholme is hiding the fact that the Council reached out and told him that the people he picked up might be connected to Ben and Luke, who showed up after the Depa thing but a solid week and change before Jango's ship makes it to the Temple. They asked that he not share that information to avoid getting anyone's hopes up in case the two situations aren't related. Ben and Luke haven't shared enough information for anyone to really be sure if the other three are connected Because the info Tholme has isn't quite the info Jango has, etc. And they can't just say Ben is a future Obi-Wan over comms

I just have a lot of feelings about people trying to do something right and just. Nobody's at fault! Not really! It's just complicated!

Tia: I like how when Ahsoka isn’t doing maladaptive trauma response stuff she’s very mature. And of course she’s had to be but it’s a good like, contrast. Where when she slows down to think about things she’s very sensible

Jango just spends most of this story lowkey wanting Ahsoka to Be His Friend but there's too much baggage that he's only metaphysically responsible for

Local aroace(?) has a squish

Ahsoka: He just wants to get on my good side because of Rex. Jango: I'm pretty sure you could kill an entire army without trying but you wouldn't because you have actual morals and stuff... and when I met you it was because you were killing yourself trying to keep (what appeared to be) children safe... you seem cool please be my friend.......

Ahsoka’s #1 weakness: mountains of trauma Ahsoka’s #2 weakness: she just doesn’t get why so many people think she’s cool and want her to be their (girl)friend

Jango, a 27yo massacre survivor who's killed Jedi masters with his bare hands: [gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly]

Ahsoka was raised in a religious meritocracy but developed all her opinions during a galactic war and then became a vigilante spy, Rex comes from a military cult, Leia is from an inherited monarchy that participates in democracy, Quinlan was originally from what appears to be a dynastic dictatorship, and IDK about Tholme other than that he is also from the religious meritocracy. And in legends Quinlan came to the religious meritocracy after his aunt sacrificed his parents to a vampire cult and then forced him to experience the psychometric echoes of that. There's just. A lot going on.

Leia at least has knowledge about structure and admin in theory that isn't based in either the military or populations under 10k

Jango: I want to be your friend. Ahsoka: Sounds fake.

I am unfairly fond of "Rex destroys a conversation by bringing up his own horrifying childhood and calling it a cult"

"Why does Sokari call you 'Rex'ika'?" "Because she's older than me." "...can I--?" "No."

Nickname privileges are extended ONLY to Ahsoka and older clones. There are no more older clones, so it's just Ahsoka.

Me joking about Star Wars AUs: Would you like a crackship? Me writing actual Star Wars fic: My favorite character type is apparently “too traumatized to have a relationship” so this is at least 90% gen.

I had to pull a scene opening at one point because Ahsoka's skill with not getting shot is actually much less useful than Tholme's clearance levels.

Now I really want a team-up of Ahsoka, Rex, and Jango where they do have to get in a dogfight of the "she flies, we shoot" variety and Fett just has to scream because the speeder thing to catch Maul was one thing, but this....

Ahsoka, before TCW: I know all the traffic rules but I'm not that great at flying! Ahsoka, after TCW: I'm great at flying but if you let me behind the wheel we are absolutely getting arrested.

She went from "knows the rules but doesn't have the skills" to "has the skills but primarily in the form of not getting shot" which! Is delightful! "Bet I can get us through that alley--" "DO NOT"

Jango and Ahsoka are both just very "Is this friendship? Is this camaraderie? My heart's been fried on platonic love by so many murders that I'm not sure anymore." "I've lost a lot of friends. I kind of forgot how to make those."

I have no idea if "hasn't been closer than Alderaan except that one trip to Chandrila" is canon-compliant but ehhhhhhhh It feels plausible enough?

Belatedly realized that I could just explain my optimal Rex&Ahsoka dynamic as just... drift compatible. It's vague enough on the specifics while still digging into the meat of what they mean to each other and how they work together. The terminology is already in existence. I can just use it.

Romantic? Platonic? Familial? Doesn't matter! They're drift compatible.

They are important to each other and that is what matters

I really like the Leia&Quinlan thing. He's just like "This small child needs a friend that isn't super depressed," and decided he's going to be her friend. I keep trying to toss in "Quinlan volunteers to 'baby'sit." She's not much older and she has a Baby Brain, it works out

There's a running bet as to whether Leia will leave the Order the second she turns thirteen, or if she'll let Sokari "train" her for a few years first. And... that’s how I came up with Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno.

They'll be bullshitting Ben as her new master to "finish out the padawanship" since they can't tell everyone she's really in her thirties and he's conveniently there and already knows everything and was half her master anyway. Like Ben was planning on taking on Luke, but Luke is "six" and even he can't swing that as old enough to be a Padawan, and it's not like Sokari will take more than a handful of years to justify knighthood, sooooooooo

#Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Leia Organa #Jango Fett #Obi Wan Kenobi #time travel #de aging #Phoenix Babbles #Uncle Ben and Little Luke #Auntie Soka and Little Leia #I need to excise the bits that are actually funny on their own

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maki-s-wife · 3 years

Note

Okay, hi, I love your writing and I’ve seen your post AND IM THIRSTY FOR MAKI X F!/GN!READER AND IDK, SIMPLY WRITE ANYTHING YOU WANT? I DIE FOR PINING??? SLOW BURN??? Gjwjfjdengjsj A little angsty??? They have feeling for each other but reader thinks she’s in love with Nobara sort of things?? Or something based on THE song SURRENDER?idk rlly, anyway you wa— OR BASED ON ANOTHER SONG: MERCURY BY SLEEPING AT LAST.

Okay I’m done. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Pairing: maki zenin x female!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.4K

I loved this request and I love maki so this fit hand in hand😇 Sorry this took over a month to write it is very very long compared to anything else I’ve done but I still hope you enjoy❤️

It hadn’t been the first time. The first time you sat staring a Maki train with Nobara. Her moves were so swift, much has changed from you and her’s first year.

Panda and Toge sat across from you looking at your moody state, they’ve tried to nudge you to ask out Maki for months now. “y/n they’re just training there’s nothing more going on”, Panda said as you squinted took get a better look at the girls battling. You huffed, “Panda-“. “Bonito flakes”. Toge said with an annoyed look on his face. The two had been experiencing this constant back and forth pining with the both of you for almost a year now. Either they were trying to convince Maki to ask you out or You to ask out Maki.

In your first year Maki was always embarrassed around you. You were much stronger than her and if she was in trouble you were always the one to swoop into save her. She already had motivation to grow in strength but now she had more motivation. She didn’t like the embarrassment of being saved. It wasn’t your fault of course but she didn’t want you to view her as weak.

In your eyes weak was the opposite of what Maki was. To still want to be a sorcerer with her low cursed energy took courage. She was powerful, of someone couldn’t see that you’d threatened to beat that fact into their head.

Panda was about to speak again when there was a huge thump. Looking to where Maki and Kugisaki was training your jaw dropped at the image of Maki pining the first year to the ground. Her enamoring voice spoke her win of the match. Toge looked at you and giggled slightly. “What’s so funny” you said, your face glowing redder than a rose. “Salmon roe” he said. “I-I do not wish that was me you weirdo” you grumbled, the bright blush very apparent on your face. Standing up to chase him around Maki looked over at you. She had trained in front of you on purpose. She wanted you to see her, see how much she’s grown, see her abilities now. It was her way of trying to impress you. She didn’t think she could impress you with much else. Instead she saw you pulling at toges ears yelling into them about some nonsense she couldn’t hear. Maki sighed in defeat, the amount of attempts she had to get your attention always failed.

Panda looked between the two of you seeing Maki now carrying Nobara bridal style to shoko after seeing her leg was injured. You were still chasing Toge around when you looked up to see Maki carrying Kugisaki. You paused in your tracks. “Why was she carrying her, she never Carried me like that...” you mumbled words like these until you reached your room. Throwing yourself in your bed you looked to your side. On your nightstand there was a picture with you, Gojo, Yuuta, Panda, Toge, and Maki. Next to it was a Polaroid. A Polaroid of Maki and you on the day you almost confessed to her. You were hugging in the picture, your faces smushed next to each other, smiling and laughing from the event of the fun festival Gojo took everyone to.

Maki left Nobara with shoko and went to get ready to shower. Going through her dresser to grab products and such she picked up a Polaroid from the same day of the picture you had. In hers you were still close to each other laughing just a in a different area. That day she was so close to confessing to you.

The thing is neither of you remember why you didn’t go through with your plans. Nervousness, fear of rejection, was there another person? None of you could recall. It just didn’t happen and sent Panda and Toge into a grumpy state with Yuuta trying calm the two down.

You’d taken a nap while Maki showered. Groggily trudging through the hallways to find her. It wasn’t as though you’d ignore if she was dating Kugisaki. Simply you’d be jealous...for a very long time. But it would pass at some point...right?

You were snapped from your thoughts when you saw maki walking towards her door. Before you could even wave your hand and say her name she was pulled into her dorm by a hand you could only tell was Nobara’s. You paused for a moment and slowly pulled your hand down. Turning back to walk to your room you bumped into Megumi. “Sorry y/n” he said. You apologized as well but Megumi grabbed your arm. “I was actually supposed to get you, panda asked for you”. You sighed hoping it wasn’t training he was asking for.

When you arrived you saw panda,toge,itadori and now Megumi sitting in seats. “You humans and you complicated feelings” panda grumbled with his arms crossed. Toge following suit imitating him.

In Maki’s room Nobara sat her on her bed. “What’s wrong Nobara” Maki asked eager to go find you after what ever Nobara had to say. Nobara put her foot down. “You know that you have to do it soon, it’s obvious that she likes you back” “with all the spying you make me do it’s very clear”. Maki looked away. She wanted to believe it but it came off as weird that someone would find her attractive. Yes she was confident in herself but the only thing she couldn’t see was someone wanting a relationship with her. Especially you. Nobara huffed “Gojo wants to take us to a festival this year, I heard that happened last year to”. “Yes he did” Maki replied looking back at Nobara. “And you told me you had an elaborate plan last year to get y/n correct?”. Nobara had been Maki’s wing girl as soon as she realized Maki’s crush on you.

Maki hunched over, nodded and sighed. It would be a perfect time to try again but could she really pull it off? She wants to. She truly does. But the fear and embarrassment of rejection still lingers over her as it does you. “Fine I’ll do it but-“. “No buts y/n is head over heels for you and will say yes. She’ll be all-“ queue Nobara making lovey doves faces imitating you in a hysterical way.

Now here you were being pressured into re trying your plan to ask out Maki by the boys. Toge spewing nonsense with a grumpy face, Megumi sitting back not paying attention, itadori being enthusiastic about everything Toge and panda were saying.

“I don’t know...she might say no or worse hate me” you admitted. The fear of Maki hating you was a nightmare.

Finally Megumi stood up. “Y/n your just dragging it out. Do you want to date Maki or not?”. “of course I do” you mumbled. “Then THATS all it will take, Maki likes you and you can beat us all over the head if she somehow says no”. “Now gojo is taking everyone to some festival, that’s when you should do it”. He said before beginning to walk off. Everyone looked at him stunned. No one would have thought Megumi would contribute let alone put yourself in a confident mood ready to execute something you’ve been meaning to do for months.

It’s been a week since you and Maki decided to prepare to ask out the other. The week was fairly normal, Maki and you hung out and trained. Not a day went by without the two of you thinking about today, the day of the festival.

Everyone walked there considering panda couldn’t fit in the only car available (let’s pretend a panda walking and talking In public is normal here)

There were games, food, rides. Everyone was pretty scattered out. Gojo around the snack stands, The boys with you around the games minus Megumi who had decided to go eat in peace somewhere else, and Maki with Nobara by the gift shops”. You looked for Maki around everywhere as it was getting dark, you wanted to spend some normal time around her before the confession. Once you spotted her across the large area you waved and got her attention. Itadori and panda wishing you luck while Toge did the same but still stared holes into your head as you jogged over to Maki making sure you didn’t turn back.

Maki looked over to Nobara who had paid for her things. “Go, when the time is right you’ll know”. Nobara said putting her thumbs up with a large smile. Maki gave her a final hug before turning around to see you already there.

You rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly, starting to get nervous. A hug didn’t mean dating but people who do date usually hug-.

Trying to push down your nerves you greeted Maki and went off the play games and go on rides.

You almost completely forgot all your worries as you won prizes from games, got dizzy from rides, and ate various sweets with Maki. The entire time Maki was becoming more flushed in the face. Everything you did set her to look at you in awe. Often catching herself staring at you before you could see yourself.

The night was coming out and the both of you were reminded of your tasks.

Maki was about to speak when you did first. “Can we...go over there”. You pointed behind her. Maki looked back to see the vast area with many blossomed trees and grass. She nodded...but what could you want to go over there for?

You sat and patted next to you. She sat down next to you and you mumbled somethings he couldn’t hear. “Hm?”

“Can I ask you something maki?” You said more clearer. “Alright, about what” now Maki was concerned. Did you catch her staring at you? Did she freak you out? Did you know about her feelings and came her to let her down easy?

You waited a moment. “What is I-“ “are you and Kugisaki dating?”. You asked bringing your knees up to your face slowly squeezing them tighter. Maki looked at you shocked. “huh, What made you think that?” She said completely baffled. you perked up “wait so your not?” You asked your jaw now slack open. “No?? Seriously when did we ever seem that way”. You let out a huge sigh falling backwards onto the cold grass. Maki didn’t know what to say. How does she ask you out from here? All she could do was go for it.

“Y/n I think-“ “well the true reason I asked you here for was...” you took a deep breath it was now or wait months more to try again. “I have feelings for you, like romantic feelings”. You turned away from her as you said it. The silence was so loud until you heard small laughs coming from Maki.

Now she was laughing at you, great. “Um just ignore tha-“ you began as you started to get up ready to run off for a while out of humiliation. But before you could you felt Maki’s slender fingers softly grab your chin, pulling your face closer to hers in for a kiss. It last fir no longer than 5 seconds but when you pulled away for face could be compared to the reddest tomato known to man.

“I can’t believe you beat me to it...or really said it at all” Maki said laying her hands on yours. “You- wait...WHAT”. You blinked fast, was this a dream? A joke? Did you really just get to kiss the girl you’ve had feelings for almost since you met her.

“I planned to tell you the same news y/n, but I guess we both had the same plans”. Maki looked at you her blush very noticeable making you heat up more.

After a couple more minutes of explanation you were both in each other’s grasp laughing and continuing to talk about how this was supposed to happen long before today.

Spying on you from afar was the rest of the group who watched the whole thing go down even Megumi. Toge did dances with yuuji, panda clapping his hands (paws?), and Megumi with a slight smile on his face.

They were happy that the two of you were finally happy together now.

#jujustu kaisen #jujustu kaisen x reader #maki zenin x reader #maki zenin #maki x reader

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pumpkinpaix · 3 years

Note

Hello! Feel free not to answer this question if it is in any way too much, but I've been wondering about something concerning the "western" mdzs fandom. Lately, i have seen multiple pieces of fanart that use what is clearly Christian symbolism and sometimes downright iconography in depicting the characters. I'm a european fan, but it still makes me vaguely uneasy. I know that these things are rarely easy to judge. I'm definitely not qualified to do so and was wondering if you have an opinion

Hi there! thank you for your patience and for the interesting question! I’ve been thinking about this since i received this ask because it?? idk, it’s difficult to answer, but it also touches on a a few things that I find really interesting.

the short answer: it’s complicated, and I also don’t know what I feel!

the longer answer:

i think that this question is particularly difficult to answer because of how deeply christianity is tied to the western art and literary canon. so much of what is considered great european art is christian art! If you just take a quick glance at wiki’s page on european art, you can see how inextricable christianity is, and how integral christian iconography has been in the history of european art. If you study western art history, you must study christian imagery and christian canon because it’s just impossible to engage with a lot of the work in a meaningful way without it. that’s just the reality of it.

Christianity, of course, also has a strong presence in european colonial and imperialist history and has been used as a tool of oppression against many peoples and nations, including China. I would be lying if I said I had a good relationship with Christianity--I have always faced it with a deep suspicion because I think it did some very, very real damage, not just to chinese people, but to many cultures and peoples around the world, and that’s not a trauma that can be easily brushed aside or reconciled with.

here is what is also true: my maternal grandmother was devoutly christian. my aunt is devoutly christian. my uncle’s family is devoutly christian. my favorite cousin is devoutly christian. when I attended my cousin’s wedding, he had both a traditional chinese ceremony (tea-serving, bride-fetching, ABSURDLY long reception), and also a christian ceremony in a church. christianity is a really important part of his life, just as it’s important to my uncle’s family, and as it was important to my grandmother. I don’t think it’s my right or place to label them as simply victims of a colonialist past--they’re real people with real agency and choice and beliefs. I think it would be disrespectful to act otherwise.

that doesn’t negate the harm that christianity has done--but it does complicate things. is it inherently a bad thing that they’re christian, due to the political history of the religion and their heritage? that’s... not a question I’m really interested in debating. the fact remains that they are christian, that they are chinese, and that they chose their religion.

so! now here we are with mdzs, a chinese piece of media that is clearly Not christian, but is quickly gaining popularity in euroamerican spaces. people are making fanart! people are making A LOT of fanart! and art is, by nature, intertextual. a lot of the most interesting art (imo) makes deliberate use of that! for example (cyan art nerdery time let’s go), Nikolai Ge’s What is Truth?

I love this painting! it’s notable for its unusual depiction of christ: shabby, unkempt, slouched, in shadow. if you look for other paintings of this scene, christ is usually dignified, elegant, beautiful, melancholy -- there’s something very humanizing and humbling about this depiction, specifically because of the way it contrasts the standard. it’s powerful because we as the audience are expected to be familiar with the iconography of this scene, the story behind it, and its place in the christian canon.

you can make similar comments about Gentileschi’s Judith vs Caravaggio’s, or Manet’s Olympia vs Ingres’ Grande Odalisque -- all of these paintings exist in relation to one another and also to the larger canon (i’m simplifying: you can’t just compare one to another directly in isolation etc etc.) Gauguin’s Jacob Wrestling the Angel is also especially interesting because of how its portrayal of its content contrasts to its predecessors!

or! because i’m really In It now, one of my favorite paintings in the world, Joan of Arc by Bastien-Lepage:

I just!!! gosh, idk, what’s most interesting to me in this painting is the way it seems to hover between movements: the hyperrealistic, neoclassical-esque take on the figure, but the impressionistic brushstrokes of the background AAA gosh i love it so much. it’s really beautiful if you ever get a chance to see it in person at the Met. i’m putting this here both because i personally just really like it and also as an example of how intertextuality isn’t just about content, but also about visual elements.

anyways, sorry most of this is 19thc, that was what i studied the most lol.

(a final note: if you want to read about a really interesting painting that sits in the midst of just a Lot of different works, check out the wiki page on Géricault’s Raft of the Medusa, specifically under “Interpretation and Legacy”)

this is all a really long-winded way of getting to this point: if you want to make allusory fanart of mdzs with regards to western art canon, you kind of have to go out of your way to avoid christian imagery/iconography, especially when that’s the lens through which a lot of really intensely emotional art was created. many of my favorite paintings are christian: Vrubel’s Demon, Seated, Perov’s Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, Ge’s Conscience, Judas, Bastien-Lepage’s Joan of Arc, as shown above. that’s not to say there ISN’T plenty of non-christian art -- but christian art is very prominent and impossible to ignore.

so here are a few pieces of fanwork that I’ve seen that are very clearly making allusions to christian imagery:

1. this beautiful pietà nielan by tinynarwhals on twitter

2. a lovely jiang yanli as our lady of tears by @satuwilhelmiina

3. my second gif in this set here, which I will also show below:

i’m only going to talk about mine in depth because well, i know exactly what i was thinking when I put this gif together while I can’t speak for anyone else.

first: the two lines of the song that I wanted to use for lan xichen were “baby, I’m a fighter//in the robes of a saint” because i felt that they fit him very well. of course, just the word “saint” evokes catholicism, even if it’s become so entwined in the english language that it’s taken on a secular meaning as well.

second: when I saw this scene, my immediate thought was just “PIETÀ!!” because LOOK at that composition! lan xichen’s lap! nie mingjue lying perpendicular to it! the light blue/white/silver of lan xichen in contrast to the darker robes of both nie mingjue and meng yao! not just that, but the very cool triangular structure of the image is intensely striking, and Yes, i Do love that it simultaneously ALSO evokes deposition of christ vibes. (baxia as the cross.... god..... is that not the Tightest Shit) does this make meng yao joseph of arimathea? does it make him john the evangelist? both options are equally interesting, I think when viewed in relation to his roles in the story: as a spy in qishan and as nmj’s deputy. maybe he’s both.

anyways, did I do this intentionally? yes, though a lot of it is happy accident/discovered after the fact since I’m relying on CQL to have provided the image. i wanted to draw attention to all of that by superimposing that line over that image! (to be clear: I didn’t expect it to all come through because like. that’s ridiculous. the layers you’d have to go through to get from “pretty lxc gifset” --> “if we cast nie mingjue as a christ figure, what is the interesting commentary we could do on meng yao by casting him as either joseph of arimathea or john the evangelist” are like. ok ur gonna need to work a little harder than slapping a song lyric over an image to achieve an effect like that.)

the point of this is: yes, it’s intentionally christian, yes I did this, yes I am casting these very much non-christian characters into christian roles for this specific visual work -- is this okay?

I obviously thought it was because I made it. but would I feel the same about a work that was written doing something similar? probably not. I think that would make me quite uncomfortable in most situations. but there’s something about visual art that makes it slightly different that I have trouble articulating -- something about how the visual often seeks to illustrate parallels or ideas, whereas writing characters as a different religion can fundamentally change who those characters are, the world they inhabit, etc. in a more... invasive?? way. that’s still not quite right, but I genuinely am not sure how to explain what i mean! I hope the general idea comes across. ><

something else to think about is like, what are pieces I find acceptable and why?

what makes the pieces above that reference christian imagery different than this stunning nieyao piece by @cyandemise after klimt’s kiss? (warnings for like, dead bodies and vague body horror) like i ADORE this piece (PLEASE click for fullview it’s worth it for the quality). it’s incredibly beautiful and evocative and very obviously references a piece of european art. I have no problem with it. why? because it isn’t explicitly christian? it’s still deeply entrenched in western canon. klimt certainly made other pieces that were explicit christian references.

another piece I’d like to invite you all to consider is this incredible naruto fanart of sakura and ino beheading sasuke after caravaggio’s judith. (warnings for beheading, blood, etc. you know.) i also adore this piece! i think it’s very good both technically and conceptually. the reference that it makes has a real power when viewed in relation to the roles of the characters in their original story -- seeing the women that sasuke fucked over and treated so disrespectfully collaborating in his demise Says Something. this is also!! an explicitly christian reference made with non-christian japanese characters. is this okay? does it evoke the same discomfort as seeing mdzs characters being drawn with christian iconography? why or why not?

the point is, I don’t think there’s a neat answer, but I do think there are a lot of interesting issues surrounding cultural erasure/hegemony that are raised by this question. i don’t think there are easy resolutions to any of them either, but I think that it’s a good opportunity to reexamine our own discomfort and try and see where it comes from. all emotions are valid but not all are justified etc. so I try to ask, is it fair? do i apply my criticisms and standards equally? why or why not? does it do real harm, or do i just not like it? what makes one work okay and another not?

i’ve felt that there’s a real danger with the kind of like, deep moral scrutiny of recent years in quashing interesting work in the name of fear. this morality tends to be expressed in black and white, good and bad dichotomies that i really do think stymies meaningful conversation and progress. you’ll often see angry takes that boil down to things like, “POC good, queer people good, white people bad, christianity bad” etc. without a serious critical examination of the actual issues at hand. I feel that these are extraordinarily harmful simplifications that can lead to an increased insularity that isn’t necessarily good for anyone. there’s a fine line between asking people to stay in their lane and cultural gatekeeping sometimes, and I think that it’s something we should be mindful of when we’re engaging in conversations about cultural erasure, appropriation etc.

PERHAPS IT IS OBVIOUS that I have no idea where that line falls LMAO since after all that rambling I have given you basically nothing. but! I hope that you found it interesting at least, and that it gives you a bit more material to think on while you figure out where you stand ahaha.

was this just an excuse to show off cool (fan)art i like? maybe ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(ko-fi)

#Anonymous #asks and replies #art #fanart #art history #christianity #mdzs #mdzs meta #meta #mine #mymeta #cyan gets too deep in the weeds #lmfao this post is a mess ive been staring at it for like a week and at this point im just gonna post it to the wall and keep moving asldfj #hope you enjoyed

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gredandforgesmischief · 3 years

Text

after all - plus size lily x james!

title: after all

pair: james potter x plus size! lily evans

summary: lily never thought that a person like james could be sincere when asking someone like her out.

content: uhh idk what to put here but lily has anxiety/body image issues

word count: 2500

a/n: hiii everyone this is my first piece of writing on this account :)) i posted this headcanon on my tiktok a while back and people really wanted me to write about it, so i did! feedback is always welcome.

other characters/ships mentioned: dorlene, wolfstar, mary macdonald, marlene mckinnon, remus lupin, sirius black, minerva mcgonagal

“Oi, Evans, wait!”

Lily groaned as the bespectacled boy jogged towards her. Not this again she thought to herself. Despite her less than happy expression, James smiled kindly towards her. She nodded to him hoping that he would carry on and say whatever he had approached her for.

“Would you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?” Lily noticed that he was fumbling with his sleeve as he asked, and could tell that he was nervous. His anxiousness made her feel a bit bad about what she was to say next.

“James I-” She started, her lips pursing into a frown, but James already knew what she was going to say.

James smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck with his hand. “It’s no worries,” Lily avoided eye contact with him, as he began to walk away. “Just let me know if you change your mind.” James said as he continued down the corridor.

“Lily, I honestly don’t know what you’re on about. James asks you out every chance he gets,” Marlene said, glaring at the redhead as she plopped down onto her bed, “you just never accept his offers.”

Lily looked to Mary for help, but had little luck as Mary silently agreed with Marlene. The three had just come back from dinner and were painting each other’s nails.

“Why are we even talking about this, Mary was asking you about Dorcas. What does that have to do with James and I?” Lily pulled her hand away from Mary, smudging the nail that Mary was painting.

“So you agree that there is something going on between you and James?” Mary questioned, ignoring the fact that Lily had ruined the work that she had been doing for the last twenty minutes. Marlene laughed, noticing the flush on Lily’s face.

“We all saw you two today before potions, don’t be coy!” Marlene egged on. Lily got up from her position on the floor, rolling her eyes while doing so.

“I don’t know how many times that I have to tell you that James isn’t into me. Neither of you will ever get it. A guy like him wouldn’t want to date someone like me.” Mary glanced at Marlene, the air in the room starting to become a bit tense. Lily cleared her throat, hoping that neither of the girls across from her would press further.

Mary and Marlene were not unfamiliar to Lily’s harsh demeanor. At this point, they knew Lily like the back of their hands. They knew what she meant when she said “someone like me”. It was far too often the two consoled Lily when she cried to them about a cruel comment that someone had made to her about her weight.

Although Lily had been dealing with these comments all throughout her sixteen years of life, her insecurities only grew as she became a teenager. It was quite difficult for her to not compare herself to her thinner classmates, regardless of how much it hurt to think about.

“You are beautiful Lils,” Lily looked at Mary as she spoke, awaiting the rest of her sentence, but was met without any other words.

Marlene and Mary’s affection towards her was something that Lily had to get used to at first. Lily had never been comfortable with people complimenting her physical appearance because of the conditions that usually accompanied the compliment.

Nearly every compliment that Lily could remember was backhanded, until she had met her two best friends. Whether it was her aunt congratulating her on losing some amount of weight or the uncomfortable, “You’re pretty for a big girl.” Regardless of how hard she tried, the comments about her body never seemed to cease.

“Mary is right, Lily, you are stunning. You don’t have to go on a date with James, but give him some credit. He’s not a total arse.” Marlene said, trying to deescalate the situation.

Lily nodded, but even their kind words couldn’t soothe her anxiety. She looked toward the clock on her side table and noticed the time.

“I have to go. Head Girl duties call.” Lily quickly grabbed the robe on her bed, bringing it along in case she got cold while making her rounds. Marlene and Mary flashed sympathetic smiles at the redhead as she left the dorm, knowing she would have to go face James.

Surprisingly, James was waiting for her when Lily reached the bottom of the steps. Lily held back a laugh, noticing him struggling to attach his “Head Boy” pin onto his uniform. You would think someone as smart as James could figure out a simple pin.

“Let me help you,” Lily said, breaking James out of his deep concentration. He looked at her with appreciation before handing the gold pin her way.

Lily tugged the front of his robes slightly before attaching the pin onto it. She hummed in satisfaction before pulling away from him. As she pulled away she noticed James was staring at her quite intensely.

Lily flushed as they made eye contact. She couldn’t deny that James was attractive, but she didn’t let herself dwell on it.

“We should probably get going, I don’t want to be out all night.” Lily stated firmly starting to head out into the corridor, James following close behind her.

As the two walked around the castle, Lily distanced herself from James. She honestly did not want to deal with any awkward conversation. At this point, she had brushed James off far too many times to count, and it made her unbelievably anxious to have to do it again.

Just as they had turned the corner towards the middle courtyard, the pair heard a loud boom near the transfiguration classroom.

“Oh great, just what I need right now,” Lily thought to herself as she and James headed into the classroom. Just as they walked into the room, the door shut behind them quite forcefully. There had seemed to be no one in the room besides the two of them. The brunet grabbed the handle of the door quickly, realizing that it was stuck.

“You don’t happen to have your wand… do you?” The boy looked towards Lily with a concerned look on his face.

Lily patted the pocket of her robe before realizing that this was in fact not her robes, but rather Marlene’s. She huffed out a breath of air. “You would think I would notice the size difference” Lily silently cursed at herself before looking towards a confused James.

“This isn’t my robe, I must have grabbed Marlene’s before I left. Why don’t you have your wand? Kind of irresponsible, no?” Lily scolded, hoping that he was messing with her about not having his wand. After her conversation with Marlene and Mary, Lily was not feeling her best, and it became very apparent to James as she bit her nails anxiously.

“Hey, you also forgot your wand, but you don’t see me complaining.” James was joking, but when he looked at Lily once more, he noticed that her eyes were watering. “I’m just kidding, Lily, are you alright?”

Lily frowned at the brunet’s apology, she couldn’t stand him acting like he cared so deeply for her. The two were barely even acquaintances, and she didn’t feel like explaining all of her anxiety quirks to someone she hardly knew.

“Please don’t do that. Don’t act like you care.” Lily said forcefully, meeting eyes with the brown-eyed boy. The two had now moved away from the door and were sitting on the floor near the wall opposite to the door.

Once more, James looked at the redhead in confusion. He racked his brain to think about every interaction he had with Lily that day, before it dawned on him.

“Is this about me asking you out? I never meant to make you uncomfortable- you see I thought Hogsmeade could even be a group thing. Remus and Sirius would also come- wait I guess they’re a couple, but it doesn’t have to be a double date… you could bring Mary-” James went on, his cheeks a soft pink, before Lily cut him off.

“Listen, James, I don’t know if you get some sort of kick out of asking me out, but whatever angle you’re playing at I’d rather not be a part of it,” Lily was visibly distraught now, her jaw was clenched and a single tear was rolling down her cheek. For what felt like the hundredth time, James looked to her in genuine confusion.

James had nothing to say, and as he stared at her mouth ajar, she started up again.

“You could have at least picked a better joke. Asking out the fat girl is so overdone. I didn’t think that you of all people would be so awful,”

Lily was really crying now. “Marlene told me that you were sweeter than before, and I really gave you the benefit of the doubt...but here we are and you’re still laughing at me!” Lily didn’t mean to blow up at James, but at this point they had been stuck in the classroom for what had felt like hours.

Lily wrapped her arms around herself, her head hanging down. She knew that James was staring at her, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Maybe now he’ll leave me alone.

Both of the Gryffindors were quiet for a long minute before James decided to break the silence.

“Lily, I don’t know what I’ve said to make you think that I’m joking, but I promise you I’m not. I get it if you don’t want to go out with me, but I just need you to know that I would never ask you out as a joke. Why would you think that?”

Lily finally pulled her head up and looked at James. His brow was furrowed and the expression on his face was unreadable. She took a breath, calming herself down.

“What do you mean, James? I mean look at me.”

There it was. That feeling. It was unavoidable at this point. All of the insecurity that Lily had shoved down was threatening to spill out. It was infrequent that Lily really confronted her self-image, but her conversation with James forced everything to surface.

James could almost see the gears in Lily’s head turning, it was very obvious that she was thinking hard about something. He sighed, not wanting to press her further.

“Lily, I don’t know what happened to make you think that I was joking, but I would truly be honored to take you out.” James said cautiously. He couldn’t tell if this would upset her further. Lily was looking at him in speculation, but at some point she had stopped crying.

She was looking at him, not speaking, almost as if to tell him to keep going. For months she had thought James was playing some cruel prank on her, but they were alone now. There wasn’t some audience to laugh at her if she told James how she felt. And even if he was joking, the pair were by themselves, and Lily could deny accepting James' invitation for a date to anyone that James would tell.

As she looked at him, she noticed that James genuinely seemed horrified at her accusation against him. If she wasn’t completely sure that James was being sincere, she would not have said another word, but for whatever reason, Lily trusted James.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Lily was sorry, “I don’t know what it is. There’s just something about someone like you wanting to go out with someone like me that seems… off.”

James frowned. He wasn’t oblivious to what Lily was talking about, but he really couldn’t understand why Lily was insecure. There weren't enough words to describe the beauty that Lily emitted.

“Lily, you’re the smartest person I know-”

“That’s what everyone says, James.” Lily laughed softly, watching James squirm at her words. She knew that he was nervous, but it was funny to see him care so much.

“Oh, so you do want me to be mean to you?” James’ tone was serious, but there was a lighthearted look in his eyes.

Lily rolled her eyes, “Haha, very funny. I don’t even think you could be mean to me. I think the last time I saw someone this nervous was when Marlene tried out for quidditch during second year.” The two laughed, James nudging Lily with his arm playfully.

As their laughter died down, James remarked, “Enough with the jokes, though. You’re actually the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” Even after he was met with a glare from Lily, he continued. “You’ve been crying and you still look lovely, Lily.”

Lily sighed. First Mary and Marlene, now him? Lily felt embarrassed, but James was still staring at her, and adoringly at that. The soft rouge tint that marked his cheeks was still prominent.

“Well, you’re cute when you’re nervous,” Lily retorted, smiling as James flushed a deeper shade of red, “But I’m sure you get that often.”

James hummed, “Blimey, I don’t think anyone has seen me as nervous as I am right now, honest.” Lily apologized once more for assuming the worst in him.

The two small talked for a long while after that, simply basking in each other’s presence. James learned about Lily’s family, and Lily learned about what it was like at the Potter’s residence. Something about their dynamic felt natural.

Their conversation was halted as someone opened the door. There, standing in pajamas, was a distraught looking Mary and an annoyed Professor Mcgonagall.

Mary started, “There you are! You were gone for nearly two hours. After a while, I thought I should go check on you.”

“That’s enough, Ms. Macdonald,” Professor Mcgonagall said, “What were you two even doing in here?”

Before Lily could start to explain, James cut her off. “We were making our rounds down the corridor, when there was a loud noise coming from the classroom. When we walked in here, the door was jammed and neither of us had our wands.”

Mcgonagall looked skeptical at their story, but decided not to press the issue any further. With a gesture of her hand, the three Gryffindors started walking towards the common room.

Mary immediately went up to bed, exhausted from worrying about her best friend. Meanwhile, James and Lily had to have a quick word with Mcgonagall.

The Professor commented briskly, “Next time, please make sure you have your wand on you. You two are Head Boy and Girl after all.” Noting the nod of approval from the two teenagers, Mcgonagall went off to bed.

The pair walked into the common room, both exhausted. In spite of their tiredness, the two were radiant.

“Goodnight, Lily. I hope you sleep well.” Lily smiled, mumbling a quiet, “Goodnight James,” as she made her way up the dormitory steps.

As Lily settled into bed, she thought to herself, Maybe James would get that date after all.

#jamespotter #lilyevans #harrypotter #writing #jily fanfiction #lily evans #james potter #harry potter #this is my first imagine be nice #plus size lily evans #jily #wolfstar #flowerpott #marauders #marauders era

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drabbles-mc · 4 years

Text

Barging In

Juice Ortiz x Reader

Request by @irenne-stans: this is just a short request but maybe a Juice Ortiz x reader The reader is Jax’s friend and walks into juices dorm room looking for Jax and is stunned to see Juice shirtless and she just backs away and yells at Jax for not mentioning how ripped Juice is (you can add to it to make it longer maybe they get together at the end idk ) ✨

Warnings: language

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: In this house we love and respect Juan Carlos Ortiz! 🥺🥰❤ We love a flirty and nervous Juice. I got a little carried away with this one but I had a lot of fun writing it. Juice is hands-down my favorite character from SoA. Hope you enjoy! 😁

You had gotten a message from Jax, asking him to meet you at the clubhouse. Nothing urgent, but he just had something that he wanted to run by you. You strolled into the clubhouse, looking around for him but he was nowhere to be found. You sighed as you made your way over to the bar to ask where you could find him. If he had dipped even though he was the one who told you to show up, he was never going to hear the end of it from you.

“Hey, you know where Jax is?” you leaned onto the bar as you spoke to the prospect.

“I think he’s uh, back in his dorm,” he nodded to the hallway that led to the back of the clubhouse, “Last place I saw him, anyway.”

You smiled at him and nodded, “Thank you.”

You crossed the room and made your way into the hallway that led to all of the dorm rooms. You looked at each door carefully, trying your hardest to remember which room belonged to which man. It was hard to keep track of, especially since you never really had a reason to be back here to begin with. You sighed, hoping that you were guessing correctly.

You knocked lightly on the door. When you didn’t hear an answer, you assumed the room was empty so you slowly opened the door and peaked inside to see if it was even Jax’s room at all.

Your jaw nearly dropped to the floor when Juice walked out of the bathroom, drying his face off. It was in that moment that you realized you had never really taken the time to truly look at him. The two of you saw each other at parties, and in passing if you stopped in to talk to Jax about anything, but you had never really had any one-on-one time with each other. Part of you was deeply regretting that at this point. You had never realized how he was in such incredible shape. He wasn’t even flexing but you could still see the definition in the muscles on his arms and through his shoulders. You were practically salivating over the way that his tattoos popped against his chest.

“Uh,” he held the towel up against his chest, “hey, Y/N. Can I…can I help you with something?”

You cleared your throat, shaking your head, “No, no. Fuck, sorry. I just, um, I was looking for Jax?”

He smiled, shifting his weight and you saw how his muscles flexed as he did, “Next door down.”

You nodded, “Got it. Thank you. I’m, um, you know, I’m sorry for barging in on you like this.”

He chuckled, trying to bite back a grin when he could see the embarrassment on your face. He could see the way you were trying not to stare and shrugged nonchalantly, “Least I had my jeans on.”

You didn’t want him to see your face get any darker than it was, so you turned and scampered out of the room without another word. You blew through the next door, not bothering to knock. You shut it behind you, trying to get all of your thoughts in order. Between seeing him with no shirt on, and then him putting the image in your head of him being completely naked, you felt like you needed someone to dump a bucket of cold water on you.

“You good?” Jax was smirking at you, seeing the flustered look on your face.

“I went into Juice’s dorm on accident because I thought it was yours,” you shook your head, “and I walked in on him half-naked.”

Jax laughed, sitting up on his bed, “Which half?”

You rolled your eyes, “Shut up. Also, why didn’t you ever mention to me that Juice is fucking ripped?”

He chuckled, shaking his head, “Never came up in conversation, I guess. I’ll try to keep you better informed on the physique of all the men in my club from here on out.”

You laughed, “Thank you, it’s very much appreciated. I expect a full report on everyone by the end of the week,” you sat down on the bed next to him, “Anyway, what’s up? What’d you need my opinion on besides Juice’s muscle mass?”

Jax shook his head, still processing everything that you had just said to him, “I…I don’t even remember now. You threw me off with this shit with Juice,” he chuckled.

You couldn’t help but to laugh, “Ah, he’s distracting for you too, then?”

He shoved you, laughing as you almost toppled off the bed, “Not nearly as distracting as it is for you. I knew how ripped he is.”

You rolled your eyes, “And you held out on me. The nerve.”

The next night there was a party at the clubhouse and Jax had told you to stop in if you had the time. It wasn’t like there was a whole lot else to do in Charming, so it was basically a guarantee that you were going to show up.

You walked into the clubhouse and it took your mind and body a moment to adjust. You were hit with a wave of heat, music, and smoke. You made your way through the crowd so you could get a drink from the bar. The prospect was behind it, as usual. He gave you a sweet smile as he handed you a beer.

You turned around, looking around the clubhouse as you sipped on your beer. You smiled as Jax walked up to you, wrapping you in a hug, “Glad to see you could make it, darlin’.”

You laughed, “You say that like I’ve got better places to be.”

“Oh,” he chuckled, “We’re just a last resort?”

You gave him a playful nudge, “I never said that.”

He smirked, “Mmhmm, sure.”

The two of you stood and talked with each other for a few minutes, content to just watch the party unfold in front of you. After a while the two of you made your way over to the pool table. There was a game in progress and you had decided to go over just to heckle, chuckling to yourself as you sipped on another drink. Jax called dibs on the next game, locking the two of you in once the table was free.

You didn’t notice that Juice had appeared next to you, and the sound of his voice made you tense up for a moment—you hadn’t spoken to him since you accidentally barged in on him. You had made sure to leave the clubhouse the previous day and not run into him, still feeling to embarrassed at how you had gawked at him.

“Hey, Y/N,” there was a smirk on his face that let you know that he was thinking about what had happened hardly twenty-four hours earlier.

You smiled, hating that you could already feel your cheeks turning red, “Hey, Juice.”

“You alright?” he was trying his hardest not to laugh.

You sighed but couldn’t help but to let out a chuckle, “Just fucking say it.”

“What?” he laughed.

“Whatever it is that you’re thinking!” you could only imagine how red your cheeks were.

“I would’ve come over earlier but I didn’t want you to be undressing me with your eyes,” he wiggled his eyebrows as he gently nudged your shoulder with his own.

You groaned, running your free hand over your face, “I’m so sorry about that. I know I probably seemed like such a perv.”

He smiled, shaking his head, “If you hadn’t been so embarrassed, I would have thought so,” he paused for a moment to let out a laugh, “You should get a handle on the staring thing though.”

“I was just caught off-guard,” all you could do was shake your head, “I was…pleasantly surprised.”

“Glad the surprise was at least pleasant,” he couldn’t stop smiling at you. He didn’t know if he should mention to you that through the grossly thin walls between the dorms, he had heard you talking to Jax. He opted to save that for later, if the time was right.

Once you had addressed the awkwardness of the situation, you were able to sort of move past it. It helped that he wasn’t going to make things weird. It seemed to be the kind of ice-breaker that the two of you needed, because that night was the most that you had ever really talked with Juice. The two of you had made small talk here and there but you found yourself roped into a real conversation with him for the first time and you were loving every second of it. You couldn’t remember the last time that someone made you laugh that hard. The two of you had drifted off into your own little world in the middle of the clubhouse—you didn’t even notice that you and Jax were supposed to be up for your game. He hadn’t tried that hard to get your attention once he saw you and Juice talking, and the way that you were looking at him.

“I’m gonna grab another beer,” Juice looked over at you, “Want another?”

You nodded, “Yea. I’ll come with you.”

He gestured for you to walk in front of him, “Lead the way.”

You smiled as you stepped in front of him and made your way towards the bar. You glanced back over your shoulder for a moment and saw that he was scanning you up and down. You laughed, shaking your head, “Better not be undressing me with your eyes, Juice.”

He laughed, trying to play it off but you could see the color rising in his cheeks, “At least I gave you something to work with.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing as you took a seat at the bar, “Yea, you’re so generous,” you paused and ran your hand down his bicep, fingers trailing lightly over the exposed skin of his forearm, “Play your cards right and I might give you something to work with too.”

His eyes grew wide for a moment. You smirked as you grabbed a fresh beer bottle for yourself, popping the top on the edge of the bar. You took a long drink from it, not breaking eye contact with him.

“You’re doing it, aren’t you?” he smiled as he got his own beer.

“Doing what?”

“You’re totally picturing yesterday,” he laughed as he leaned on the bar next to you, “and thinking to yourself that you’re still pissed at Jax.”

“Pissed at Jax?” you couldn’t hide the confusion on your face.

“Yea. For not telling you…how’d you put it? That I’m fucking ripped?”

You almost choked on your beer as you tried to fight the laughter that wanted to come out of you, “Those walls are way too fucking thin.”

He couldn’t have stopped smiling even if he wanted to, “Any time you want to be on my side of the thin walls, let me know.”

You bit your bottom lip for a moment, wanting to choose your response carefully, “How about I give you my number and if things go well then maybe I’ll go into your dorm with an actual invite next time?”

He excitedly pulled his phone out of his pocket, handing it over to you so you could put your number in, “I like the sound of that.”

#juice ortiz #juice ortiz x reader #juice ortiz x you #sons of anarchy #soa #juan carlos #juan carlos ortiz #jax teller #juice ortiz imagine #soa imagine #sons of anarchy imagine #juice ortiz fanfiction #drabblesmc

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moonyblackwerewolf · 3 years

Text

Betrothed Ch. 1 - Sirius Black

Sirius Black x fem!Reader

Word count: 2.653

Summary: Sirius and Y/N meet at a family dinner and have some fun, later she finds out she is betrothed to some pureblood boy so Sirius comes up with a mental idea to save them both.

warnings: Kissing, hints of sex, 'aggressive' parents, underage drinking, idk my writing and English? lol

a/n: so this is just an idea for a possible series!! i never published anything before so i’m kind of scared but i really hope you like it!! :) xxx

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch. 2.5 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch. 5

(not my gif)

Diner party

The Royal Manor of Watson was a cold palace, stone walls, rich decorations, sumptuous, but intimidating. The Watsons were cold people, living in a house too big for five people, but Y/N thought it was only fitting, since her parent’s ego was as big as the manor itself. Their pureblood mania deep in their minds, untouchable, which made their daughter’s life miserable. They were the perfect family on the outside but rotten in the inside, three children, Diana, two years older than Y/N, beautiful, smart and most importantly just as purist as their parents and William, tall, handsome, sophisticate and serious, he was the older sibling, three years older than Diana, he was already working with their father on the Ministry of Magic, daddy’s favourite. Home was big, impressive, a dream home if you saw it, libraries, uncountable bedrooms and living rooms, ball rooms, huge gardens, and everything you could ask for but it was far from being a welcoming home.

Though, all of her miserableness went away once she first went to Hogwarts. Of course, being sorted in Slytherin and having good grades was minimal when it came to living up to her parents’s expectations, which were high and if not complied there would most certainly have severe consequences, but still Hogwarts was more of a Home than the Watson Manor ever was.

Throughout the years, Hogwarts had become her first true home. There she felt the warm winds, the familiar feeling in the great halls, friendships, all she ever hoped for was there, a home, but not quite yet. She met Elizabeth Greengrass a blonde, tall thin girl with deep grey eyes and enviable beauty, Katherine Abbott who looked almost like Diana, but shorter, longer darker hair, blue-green eyes and thiner face. The three girls became best friends right after being sorted into Slytherin. Later on her second year she met Elijah Lestrange, through her sister, he was a year older, handsome and had a polite appearance. Y/N loved her friends but they shared the same blind beliefs her parents do, she’d always nod when they talked about mudblood, choosing not to create conflict, she couldn’t help but feel a little out of place, her parents couldn't disagree more, controlling they way they were, they were more than satisfied to know that their daughter’s inner circle contained only close family friends’s children.

The Marauders were quite famous for their pranks since first year, Y/N always admired their courage and wit, but her siblings and friends didn’t share the same opinion. When she was around them she’d always get a look from her sister, her brother or her friends would push her away, which only made them more interesting. Although, with time, she stopped trying and just kept living her life the way her family wanted her to.

Until summer break before 5th year, at least.

By then Sirius had already gained his bad boy reputation. Y/N had known Black for a long time, only by sight, his family was friends with hers and his cousin, Narcissa, hangs out with her sister, she’d see him in the pureblood elite parties they were forced to attend, they’d exchange glances but never talked. Sirius was once again being forced to go to some snobby party from snobby people. He couldn’t count in a thousand hands how many other places he’d rather be, but there he was sitting in a huge room full of people he despised, until a certain girl he recognised from other dinner parties and Hogwarts caught his attention, she was Remus’ partner in DADA, though he wasn’t sure, he never paid much attention in classes, pranking the student body was much more entertaining.

She caught his eye from a couch across the room. She was stunning, he thought, her slightly wavy H/C hair matching her S/C skin, freckled rosy cheeks and her alluring E/C eyes. Sirius only hoping she was different from the other brainwashed people in that house.

“Hey” Sirius said softly while he approached the girl that was, apparently, just as bored as he was, to his luck. “Not your scene, love?” He asked with his signature smirk on his face, wanting some good company for once at these afternoons.

“Not really” she chuckled, not knowing exactly what else to say, they weren’t close and she was a bit shy. But she was being honest, these parties were hell, full of families who thought too much of themselves, she didn't feel much like them, but she could fit in she was quiet and not nearly as loud as Sirius was about her beliefs. No one knew.

“By any chance would you know whose death palace are we on? I mean it’s huge but it looks like Salazar himself lived here, it gives me the creeps” he paused laughing “and my house it’s not a Hufflepuff common room or anything” Sirius said mockingly, not knowing exactly who he was talking with.

“Well” she chuckled awkwardly “It is my parents’, but i know, it’s not very homey, looks like a dark theatre or something and Salazar did live here, family heirloom” she laughed for real this time, she didn’t take it as an offence, if anything she couldn’t agree more.

“How come we never crossed each others path before?” Sirius asked wondering why they never talked on one of those parties or at school.

“I guess I usually just stay in the corners, like today” she chuckled.

The two of them bonded after talking for a while, they discovered that both of them hated these things, Sirius couldn't get how she managed to hide her feelings so well, she looked so much like them. After laughing, talking about school, Sirius was a part of the infamous marauders, telling stories and joking around, for the first time any of them could think of, they had fun in a family party, since Sirius’ friends weren’t pureblood except for Potter but his family had been banished from the sacred twenty-eight for being “blood traitors” and Y/N’s friends’ parents kept them at their side the whole time for “good image”.

Y/N stole a bottle of fire whiskey from the cellar and started showing the house to Sirius, while the two of them drank more than their bodies could handle, who was just as pleased as her for making fun of the paintings and carpets and the fancy but useless stuff their families valued so much. As they entered a room, particularly big and empty, Sirius had to catch his breath, Y/N and him started running through the halls before entering the room they were now on. He had only now realised that he had grabbed her hand, and apparently she hadn’t noticed until now too, making her blush furiously, releasing each other’s hand quickly and Sirius teased.

“getting comfy are we?” He smirked, as she blushed at his comment. They were very close, he could feel her breath catching. “Where would we be now, love?” He asked inching closer to her.

The both teenagers weren’t thinking straight anymore, the alcohol in their system already influencing their emotions. All they could think about, was how their touch felt electrical and the magnetic pull they were feeling towards each other, wondering how would their lips feel like. They just wanted to have fun, not caring about consequences that moment.

“Ball room” she said innocently but still a bit teasingly, not backing away from him as he inched closer to her “East wing, third floor, far away from where the party is going on, on the first floor” she bit her lip “But still very close to a room-” she said boldly wanting to see his reaction to her suggestions “-two doors away near a window at the end of the hall next to a beautiful painting of my favourite flowers” she said voice husky and breathy, making Sirius groan.

He chuckled low, “And may I ask you whose room is that?” They were now so close that their lips were slightly brushing.

“Why don’t you take me there and see for yourself” she said feeling a flip on her stomach and with a swift motion he lift her up bridal style, making her shiver at the contact, but then laughed, his hand gripping her body and legs tightly as he followed her instructions to get to her room. Once there, he settled her down on her bed and admired the girl in front of him, lust in his eyes. She smiled and bit her lip, she knew Sirius’ reputation, only one night stands, he was a ladies man, but she didn’t care, she wanted him, the fact that her mother would murder her if she ever found out only made it all more exciting.

Sirius took a look at the room, it wasn’t dark as the rest of the house was, it was still sophisticated, but nicer, the detailed wood on the wall was white and, above, the wall it self was light lilac, the room had big windows covered by delicate curtains and even had a balcony, and everything matched between the lilac and whites tones, she had a few paintings and pictures, and flowers, probably fake but still beautiful, the same flowers as on the darker painting outside, her four poster bed that matched the couches by the windows had delicate semi transparent white curtains and her silk white sheets were under a soft lilac blanket, she had a lot of silk pillows with subtle embroidered details on the corners, it was certainly appealing he thought, a beautiful room fit for a princess. Then he was brought back to reality.

“Do you think our parents are wondering where we are?” He asked with a still semi amazed look, it made her laugh, she patted the sheets next to her, inviting him to sit, he sat closely to her and then suddenly she went to the middle of the bed, which was big, pushing his wrists and they sat there, her legs crossed.

“They probably are” she affirmed giggly, she hadn't let his wrists go yet, she was holding it gently. “But, they won’t find us here, even though it’s pretty obvious that i’d hide in my room. Mom and dad wouldn’t leave the party” She paused and laughed “And well your parents certainly won’t come up here to my room i guess” He chuckled at her commentary.

“Well, well, miss perfect pureblood daughter escaping a dinner-party with the rebel Black son, who’d have thought” Sirius said dramatically, she laughed at him.

“Guess this Black here is just a bad influence on me, or… I just put on a good facade” she said more serious this time, voice low, eyes fixated on his. Her hand tracing their way up his arm, his gaze fixed on her movements. “And the fact that if mommy finds out i brought a guy to my room, and that he’s in my bed with me, would make her go crazy, only turns me on” Sirius let a little breathy moan escape his throat.

When Sirius looked at her she was already looking at him, lust all over her eyes. He trailed off just a little and asked, voice low “Y/N… are you sure you want this?” She nodded so he grabbed her waist and pulled her to his lap, he was holding her waist, lips brushing, he finally kissed her, the kiss felt electrical, it was slow and passionate at first but then I grew more heated. One of her hands was wrapped in his neck, the other was holding his chest going slowly lower, he was pulling her impossibly closer, the both couldn't get enough of each other. They had to pause for catching a breath, in the mean time Sirius leant over pushing Y/N down onto bed earning a tiny moan form her. They started kissing again, but this time was less passionate, more lustful and heated, Sirius started fiddling with her dress’ zipper and took it off slowly, undressing her, tracing kisses in each piece of newly exposed skin until she was only in her underwear, She, then, pushed his blazer off then started unbuttoning his shirt while kissing and sucking his neck making him moan. Once they were both in their underwear Sirius looked at her searching for a final consent, when she nodded, he took the rest of their clothes off.

“What do you want princess?” He asked kissing his way down from her cheek, to her jaw, neck, breasts and she moaned a little louder, the nickname turned her on even more. “Hmm??” He groaned waiting for her answer. “I want to her you say it”

“I… want you” she said between moans, after that she pulled his boxers down kissing him desperately, waiting to feel him against her in the most intimate way possible, the feeling was ethereal.

——————————

They laid in her bed legs tangled under the silk sheets, her head laid in his chest, his hands caressing her back while the other wrapped around her waist pulling her closer, making her shiver, the both of them catching their breaths while he stroke figure eights on her back inhaling her delicate floral floral scent. It felt heavenly to be there by his side, neither of them wanting to let go of one another, enjoying every moment before reality came back to them, but they knew they’ve been gone for too long, the party was probably ending.

“Sirius” she said voice as low as a whisper “This was nice” he smiled at her and pulled her to a kiss.

“Yes, it’s nice to have some fun in these events, and you love, are the most fun I could've had today” he said trailing his hand on her lower back “I mean, this is certainly the best place my parents could’ve dragged me to”. It made her chuckle. He never thought he’d fuck a girl his mother would approve and in one of their elite parties, but here he was, proof that Sirius Black always managed to corrupt girls, anywhere.

“Glad you liked it then” she said chuckling while she buried her head in his neck. But they couldn’t go on with this any longer. “You should go first” she said “Your parents are probably looking for you and it would be suspicious if we showed up together” she advised “Since the fact that we’re both missing from the party is already very much suspicious” she said laughing this time.

“Sure, love” he helped her get dressed before dressing himself and gave one last peck on her lips before getting out of bed. “See you” with a wink and that signature smile of his, he left, leaving her there with her thoughts about the events of this evening and the captivating boy, while rubbing her hands lightly where he left love bites on her neck, knowing she’d have trouble walking tomorrow and a bad headache from all the drinking. She decided it was best if she took a shower, changed into her pyjamas and if her parents show up there, she’d say she wasn't feeling well and wanted to sleep.

On his way back Sirius kept thinking about Y/N and how much they’re alike, she was the only nice person he met in one of those parties, she was a good kisser too. Starting to get confused on why he was thinking so much about the girl and the strange feeling she caused on him, but then assumed it was because of all the drinking, he didn't realise his mother, father and brother were waiting for him in the foyer and their faces weren’t kind, he knew it’d be a long night back home. But he didn’t care his only thoughts were about going back to Hogwarts and seeing her again.

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

Text

Bring Me To Life

Summary: Kang Sujin has never had anyone to turn to, hiding behind a façade her entire life. Someone begins to peek behind the mask.

Author’s note: My two favorite characters in TB are Seojun and Sujin, both characters who are honestly treated like trash by the writers. I cannot begin to tell how upsetting it was to see Sujin’s character assassination or how painful it is to watch her being physically abused knowing that the writers will not give her therapy or a true happy ending. She’s just here to be beaten and vilified. Seojun, I won’t even rant everyone knows what the problem is (idk who told them we wanted to see Start-Up the high school edition.) So I wrote this after watching the most recent episode and hating most of it for these reasons. I don’t know how far it’ll go or how often I can update, but I need my two babies to have a happy ending preferably together because the visuals are just a dreammmm.

The rain crashes down loudly from aggrieved storm clouds bellowing above her in the sky, the chilled condensation plastering her thin satin pajamas to her trembling body. She had to get out, the pain in her cheek numbing and electrifying all at once.

How dare she tell him that she didn't want to get married, want to stand on her own two feet without a man giving her value?

His hand had flown across the room before she could sidestep the blow, the fragile glass filled with water in her hand- the very reason she'd left her room in the dead of night- shattering into jagged pieces as it collided with a greater force. Just like her.

She hadn't been trying to eavesdrop but it was hard not to hear him chuckling deeply on the phone, offering up his only child like she was an item on a menu.

"Yes we should set them up. It seems Suho isn't interested and she should marry young, that's when women are worth the most."

Nausea rolled like waves in the pits of her stomach and before she could think logically, her feet were sprinting into the living room, air barely filling her lungs as she stared at the man she'd never once thought of as a father. The last time she'd made the grave mistake of calling him daddy he'd smacked her so hard that was how she lost her first tooth. He'd been father ever since or Mr. Kang. She tried her best to avoid him at all cost, she would never be good enough and it was getting harder to hide the marks he left behind.

It was difficult to remember clearly what occurred seconds after her refusal to marry a man she didn't know left her lips, his fist connected and she was knocked back onto their coffee table the sharp edge cutting at her cheek. As she looked at him, anger painting his face a demonic red, fear crippled her and her hands twitched desperately wanting to wash them raw. Then he grabbed a thick marble ashtray from the table and her instincts took over and she was out the door, running as fast as she could, knowing her life was at stake and she couldn't afford to stop.

When the cloud in her head cleared that was when she found herself at the bus stop.

Judgmental whispers breeze by her ears as people passed by with umbrellas, shocked to see the young girl crying in her pajamas at the stop, but none stopped to offer her help or inquire about her situation, happy just to pass judgement. She ignores them all, panicking racing through her blood until she's unable to breathe, choking on nothing as she twitches in the harsh air. Her throat constricts as she screams at herself, breathe.

Breathe.

BREATHE!

But it's useless as her body shuts down, forgetting how to do the basic function, she sways as she starts to feel light headed from the lack of oxygen and with a final wheeze she collapses.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He signs as he weaves past cars moving far too slowly, adrenaline rushing through his veins as he marginally misses nipping a car to the left of him, easily dragging his motorcycle away with the fluid movements of his body. He glares up at the sky before cursing, "Fucking weather report didn't say anything about a sudden rainstorm." If he'd known he would have stayed home, always hating the rain. It brought back bad memories.

Halting at a red light, he puts his leg down for balance bouncing slightly in place. Pulling the shield up on his helmet he glances around, recognizing the area easily, before something in his peripheral catches his attention, a lump on the ground. Tilting his head he revs his trusty iron steed to live, riding over to the direction of the mysterious mass on the wet ground. As he gets closer his heart falters, it's too evident now.

It's a person.

Jumping off his bike and pushing out the kickstand he flings his helmet off, his hair immediately drenched under the downpour as he races over to help. As he nears the figure, it becomes clearer it's a woman wearing what looks like sleep clothes. Momentarily he wonders if this is a crazy person and if he should just mind his business but a frightening image of his little sister unconscious on the ground and no one coming to her aid flashes in his mind.

"I'll just check if she's breathing and call an ambulance. That's all, if she tries to attack me I'll just ride away." He takes a deep breath, collecting his courage before closing the gap between him and the unconscious woman.

Crouching beside her, he reaches out a hand hesitating before sighing and shaking at her cold shoulder. No response. He shakes harder now, watching the motion quake through her entire body, but still she is unresponsive.

"Hey! Hey! Are you okay? Wake up, you're scaring me!" He starts to jiggle her with both hands, before he crawls into her space not caring about his safety any longer, the idea that this unknown woman might be dead is making him nauseous. People are always dying without his permission. It's so frustrating.

"Wake up! Come on!" He shouts at the figure now holding both her shoulders and turning the woman over, lifting her face from its place on the ground, cradling her limp body in his lap. After two more vicious shakes, she starts to cough and groan in his arms. Relief swims through his veins as he watches her come back to life, anxiously watching as her dewy long lashes flutter open and he's caught in a lifeless deep gaze.

"Han Seo-Jun?"

It takes a long pause for him to register that the woman has said his name and then a longer moment to recognize who she is.

"Kang Su-Jin?" He replies in genuine shock, taking in the wom--young girl in his arms. She's shivering so violently that it's becoming difficult to hold onto her, vibrating out of his hold before he grips her tighter, whipping off his jacket without second thought and wrapping it around her. Goosebumps raising on his skin as his body mentally berates his lack of survival skills.

"What are you doing here?" She looks at him bewildered as if the stranger occurrence is his presence and not her own.

He squints his eyes looking back at her, "I could ask you the same thing. I found you unconscious here. I thought you were...." He trails off unable to utter the rest of his sentence.

"You should have left me here. Maybe I would have. If I was that lucky."

"What? Are you crazy, you want to die? Did you do this to yourself, what are you on?!" He roars at her, rage flooding his system as he shouts at the stupid girl, how dare she try to kill herself and leave her body for him to find? He wishes he had taken a different route, that he'd never come across her. He was in no state to comfort someone who was suicidal, still too raw and hurt. What was so hard about living that made people want to do that? Hot tears gather in his eyes as he abruptly pulls away from Sujin, unapologetic as she tumbles to the ground without his support.

She starts at him, stunned before righteous fury twists her features and she roars back at him.

"Who are you to judge me! I didn't ask you to help me, leave me alone!"

He glares back at her ready to yank his jacket away and run away from her but a small movement stops him, as she's screaming at him a small muscle twitches in her cheek bringing his attention to said cheek. It's nearly purple, standing out obscenely on her pale skin and then he notices the split lip and the bruises on her neck and he's so ashamed of himself he could bawl.

He deflates before speaking to her, "What happened to your face? Who did this to you?"

He doesn't know what kind of look he has on his face but before his questions can even settle between them she's sneering and twisting away from him, throwing his jacket on the ground before making her escape. Unprepared for her sudden departure he reacts too late, before chasing after her. It's easy to close the distance separating them with his long legs and within seconds she's merely inches in front of him, he reaches out a large hand to grab her wrist but hesitates recalling the bruises littering her frame. Instead he races past her, blocking her with his body swerving to the left and then the right when she tries to dodge him. They play this cat and mouse game before she finally gives up, glaring up at him with moist enraged eyes.

"Why do you care? We aren't even friends!"

Her piercing shout rings in his ears as he looks down at her passively. He can't answer that question, doesn't know what brought him to this area so late and not understanding why he was the one to find her in this condition. He doesn't know why he cares. But maybe things could have been different if Se-Yeon had someone to chase him. Maybe he'd still be alive...

So he answers her honestly.

"I don't want anymore people to die."

To his complete shock she starts to cry, tears falling rapidly from her eyes before she crumples to the ground, the rain pounding on her head and he stands still unsure of what to do before he drapes the jacket he'd rescued from the ground over her head, shielding her from most of the thunderous downpour. When she looks up to see the jacket protecting her, he almost falls backwards as her head slams into his chest, her tears simmering hot on his chilled body. It's almost painfully uncomfortable but he doesn't move away. Letting her cry on his chest, his shirt is soaked anyway this makes no difference.

He doesn't know how long they are crouched there on the ground, so dark that the sidewalk is completely devoid of anyone else, it feels like they are the only two people left on Earth.

"If we stay here you're going to get a cold."

He voices his concern but the only reply he receives is a gross sounding sniffle and he grimaces, knowing that his poor shirt is probably damaged beyond repair covered in snot and tears.

Sighing he starts to repeat himself before she whispers, "I don't have anywhere to go."

"I can take you home." Her fists tighten in his drenched shirt, he can practically feel the fear wafting off her, he'd assumed the marks on her face were from a possessive unhinged boyfriend but her reaction makes him uneasy. He tries to push those unpleasant thoughts to the corner.

"What about your friends? Why don't you call Su-ah or Ju-Kyung, I’m sure they’ll help you.”

She stiffens in his arms before shaking her head in decline.

"No. I can't let anyone else see me like this. I don't need them looking at me the way you did, like I'm a sad pitiful puppy. I never want anyone look at me like that again."

He can respect that, he never wants to appear weak in front of others. It was easier to become angry and lash out rather than showing your true heart, nobody could hurt you that way.

"Then what? Where do you want to go?"

"I have nowhere to go. I'll stay here until morning. I'll be fine, you can go."

He looks at her dumbfounded, what kind of man would leave a battered woman alone in the rain? He wasn't raised by animals, damn it.

"Let's go." He makes a point not to touch her, their only point of connection are her hands twisted in his shirt.

"What?"

He bulldozes past her confusion, looking at her with what he hopes are comforting eyes.

"I'm taking you to my house. I can't just leave you here."

"Are you crazy? Don't you live with your mother and sister, what will they say?"

He winces at the logical inquiry, he had already considered that himself, thinking of his mother's subsequent smacks and his sister's teasing once they learned what he'd done but still deciding that he has no other choice. He can't just leave her here.

He shrugs, "That's my problem to worry about. I'm not leaving you here, I'd really like to get out of his rain. Let's go." He repeats himself harder, pleading with her.

She looks away and he's prepared to throw her over his shoulders and face the consequences when he hears her response, "Okay. Let's go."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's a quiet ride back, the engine rumbling through the aching bones of her frozen body. Han Seojun. The last person she ever expected to see after being roused from her panic induced collapse. Her arms tighten around his thin waist as he swerves around a car, adrenaline and fear battling for dominance in her body. When her fingers accidentally brush across wet bare skin she quickly moves her hands higher, fighting the embarrassment that washes over her.

If he notices she can't hear his reaction over the roar of the motorcycle.

When they finally pull up to a small apartment, she loosens her hold on him cracking her frozen digits.

"You didn't need to hold that tightly, I wasn't going to let anything happen to you. I ride this everyday you know."

She doesn't reply focusing on getting off the bike, swinging her leg over and hopping off not graceful but effective, a small proud smile spreads on her face before she gazes back at him.

He stares back before shaking his head, as if lost in a daze before he stomps off for her to follow.

Wordlessly she trails behind him, feeling foolish in her duck pajamas, a gift from Su-ah.

When he pushes his front door open, letting her in first she steps out of her sopping wet house slippers standing awkwardly looking around.

"Stay here. I'll get towels so we don't trail too much water."

She nods at his command, gazing at the floor and seeing how much water is already pooling around her feet.

"Here." He hands her a fluffy pink towel, she raises an eyebrow at the color.

"It's the guest towel. I wouldn't give you my towel."

That makes sense, sharing towels is far too intimate for the relationship they have. That being none.

She rapidly towels at her hair, before running the towel down her body and wrapping it around her waist.

"You can use the bathroom. It's the second door on the right. I'll bring you dry clothes."

She steps cross the doorway, finally entering his home. Before she turns back to him staring directly into his eyes, "Than.... You didn't have to do this." She loses her confidence but his answering smirk lets her know he understood enough, with that she walks to the bathroom locking herself inside.

The sight of her bruised face in the mirror makes her pause, reaching up to finger at the stark purple mark on her cheek. She's crying before she can control her emotions, tears dripping into the sink as she remembers her night, how close she was to the end despite what she said to Seojun she wanted to live. As her father stood above her ready to snuff her out like a mere nuisance in his life, she realized with a burning passion how desperately she wanted to live.

A soft knock drags her back to reality as she rapidly wipes her tears away.

"I'm leaving clothes by the door. You can come out whenever you're ready. I'm making tea."

When she hears the light steps of his feet moving away from the door she opens the door a crack, picking up the neatly folded pile of clothes. Sending the boy a mental thank you before closing the door quietly.

It's clear that these clothes belong to Seojun, draping off her body, too large for her frame, a black T-shirt with a microphone on the center and sweatpants that cover her feet as well, he'd even remembered to bring her socks. Instantly she feels her body warming as her body temperature returns to normal.

Folding her wet clothes and splashing water on her face then using the towel to rub it dry, she exits the bathroom walking towards the light she sees assuming that's the kitchen.

"The water's almost done boiling. Sit down."

His deep voice greets her as she follows his orders and takes a seat.

"Are these your clothes?"

"What? Oh yeah they're mine, sorry my sister locked her door. They're very old though, I haven't worn them in years I thought they would fit you better." He eyes her as he says the last sentence, "I guess it didn't make much of a difference I'm just too tall and manly for my own good."

She scoffs at his narcissistic comment rolling her eyes "Tall and manly my foot. You're so skinny I could probably pick you up with one arm."

He immediately turns at her comment, affronted look on his face, "Shut up! It's hard for me to put on weight, I'm not that skinny."

He places his hands on his hips, looking down at himself before puffing his chest out to make himself appear broader, it's so ridiculous that she can't control her reaction.

Sudden uncontrollable laughter.

She laughs breathlessly, folding onto her lap trying to contain her giggles but his scandalized look makes her laugh harder and she has to stuff her face in her elbow to prevent herself from waking his family.

After a few minutes of random spasms of laughter she finally peers back up at him.

He looks just like he did outside when she'd smiled after successively getting off his motorcycle.

"What? What are you looking at?"

"Nothing. I just never see you smile at school."

"Well you never do anything worth smiling about." She quips back, wondering if she'd gone too far but he doesn't reply beyond a slight smile that's gone too fast to even be titled that, he places her steaming cup of tea before her sipping at his own after blowing on it.

They drink in comfortable silence.

She's the first to rapture the silence, "I don't need pity."

"I don't pity yo--"

"But thank you. Thank you for stopping. Thank you for this, thank you."

He stares wordlessly before nodding, a slight blush on his cheeks before he hides his face in the cup of tea. She doesn't bring attention to it.

"You can sleep in my room. It's the door next to the bathroom."

Humming she looks up, fatigue hitting her like a brick at the mention of sleeping.

"Where will you sleep?"

"I have a perfectly good couch, don't argue you're sleeping in my room. That's final. It's better that my mother doesn't see a strange woman on the couch when she wakes up."

Well, she can't argue with that logic.

"Okay." Drinking the last of the soothing beverage, she stands up walking over to place the cup in the sink.

"Good night." She starts to walk back in the direction of the bathroom, seeing another door next to it. Seojun's room. Twisting the doorknob she pushes it open, before she hears his voice from behind her.

"If you need anything I'm right outside."

Blinking her tears away, she nods without looking back, too vulnerable with his palpable concern.

When she lays her head down on his pillow, his scent fills her senses and she falls into a deep restless slumber feeling safer than she has in long time.

Tomorrow will be horrible.

But tonight, she will allow herself to breath easy knowing that someone is on her side.

#true beauty #kang sujin #han seojun #sujin deserves better #redemption fic #healing each others wounds #the visuals #true beauty kdrama #slow burn

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