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marvelmymarvel · 3 years

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Beauty (Part 8)

Jiraiya x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Synopsis: At the age of 14, you begged the 3rd Hokage to let you raise the brand new baby, who just like you lost his parents to the nine-tailed fox. People thought you were crazy, but the strange new man who was training Naruto saw you as something else.

A/n: I have been waiting to write this part for *so* long. Also, Iruka in the gif makes me wanna SOB. Fuck, can he comfort me in a v neck!? It's long btw, so get ready for it :)

Tags: @brithedemonspawn

Also, if you wanna sob while reading this like I did when writing it:

Song: Jenny of Oldstones by Florence + The Machine (Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-F7K6UZEVg)

Thunder rumbled overhead as the rain pounded down harder onto the mourners below. You turned your head to look at the children beside you before grasping Naruto’s shoulder tightly in your fingertips. The last funeral you went to was for your parents as well as Naruto’s...

Naruto looked up at you, blank-faced as he tried to read your emotionless face. Were you sad? Were you about to cry? Were you trying to reassure yourself that he was there and alive? He soon got his answer as you faced forward once more, tears glistening in your eyes as you dropped to your knee beside the boy. Raising your hand from his shoulder, you brushed it shakily through his blonde hair that surprisingly was staying up through the rain. Resting your hand on his cheek, you cocked your head and bit your trembling lip, praying that you could stay strong for him.

But you were struggling.

It was a silent exchange, a simple look that told him how you felt. Naruto knew how strong you were for him, and sometimes he wished that you would just allow yourself to feel emotions and cry. He opened his mouth to say something but the sound of Konohamaru broke you from your trance. Dropping your hand from his cheek, you turned and pressed a hand against the younger boy's back, shushing him in the hopes of calming him down.

Your motherly instinct was working, but it was only until Iruka joined in when the noble grandson began to calm down. You knew his pain, knew it more than anything... And so did Iruka. Your e/c eyes flicked up to watch Iruka talk quietly to the young boy. Smiling softly to yourself, you began to remember all of the times you’d talk to the younger Shinobi... Kakashi could only help you so much through the pain, but Iruka truly helped you heal.

And you did the same for him.

Iruka felt your eyes on him, and he hoped that you didn't notice the way his ears and cheeks heated up in response to your heavy gaze. Finally gaining the courage, the younger shinobi brought his gaze up to meet your mournful eyes. A sad smile forming on your lips, hand sliding across the young boy's back and lacing with Iruka’s frigid fingers. His eyes widened a little as your warm fingers caused a jolt to rush through his body, you were always so special to him...

But he wasn’t sure if he was special to you.

‘Thank you’ you mouthed out, thumb caressing his knuckles before pulling away to get back to Naruto who was staring dumbfounded at his old teacher. Iruka blinked back his shock, confused as to why Naruto was suddenly sending him a glare and why your simple touch was causing his tummy to flip. Shaking his head in the hopes of clearing his racing thoughts, Iruka went back to the boy who was now sobbing a bit harder.

You didn’t pay any mind or attention to anything going on around you as you brought Naruto into your side. Naruto was still glaring at his teacher, knowing exactly what he was thinking about. He was in love with you, it was the same way Jiraiya looked at you the first time you two ever met...

The scoff that fell from his lips made your brows furrow in concern, thinking that something was wrong with him. “You okay buddy?” you cooed out before leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his head. Naruto let out a groan, pushing away from you in embarrassment. He was secretly okay with you doing that in private but in front of his teammates?!

Naruto looked up at you with a pout, angry that you would embarrass him like that in front of everyone, but your soft gaze reminded him that you were going through a lot right now. Deciding to appease you instead of saving face, Naruto shook his head and wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug. He hoped the funeral would end soon because you were beginning to shake in his embrace. Naruto turned his glare to the young child who currently had your coat draped across her shoulders. He understood that she was just a child who didn’t know any better, but he was still angry by how selfless you were.

And just how sick you were going to be because of it.

Sniffling, you slapped his shoulder in warning, silently telling him to get over it and pay attention to the procession in front of you. Sighing, he listened to your warning and instead cuddled deeper into your side, wanting to share some of his body heat so he wouldn’t have to take care of your sick self for the next 5 days. “You’re gonna get a cold in this rain” Naruto jumped along with you at the voice as a jacket was draped across your shoulders.

“Thanks” you whispered back as Genma wrapped a dry arm around your waist, locking you in between his hot body and his jacket. Resting his head on your shoulder, Genma felt you physically relax in his embrace. Naruto rolled his eyes at the Shinobi, but his jealousy melted away at the soft smile on your lips. There were no more tears bubbling along the edge of your eyes, no, you were at peace.

Biting his lip, Naruto looked towards Iruka who had his head downcasted. He couldn’t tell if his old teacher was jealous or even noticed, but it certainly caused suspicion to grow in his mind. Turning his head to look around, he tried to scan for Jiraiya in the crowd. He was easy to spot, and Naruto nearly shuddered at the cold glare that was being sent in your direction. If looks could kill, Genma would have been killed at least 50 times by now.

Noticing the young boy was once again distracted caused you to rip him closer to you, “Pay attention and stop staring...” you hissed down at him. It had been a while since you had to use the mom voice, but it snapped him back to attention right away. You let your gaze travel to where he was staring and you felt your blood run cold as you caught the angry gaze being thrown your way. Your body curled back into Genma’s embrace, a sense of safety flowing through you as he instinctively tightened his grip around you.

Telling Jiraiya that you were seeing Genma didn't go well, in fact, it went horribly. It wasn’t as if you had been seeing each other for long and you wouldn’t consider Genma your significant other just yet, but Jiraiya didn’t care. “You alright?” Genma cooed as he pressed a kiss softly against your ear, thumb caressing the part of your body he was gripping onto. You nodded before breaking your gaze from the angry Sannin, you’d be fine, he wouldn’t do anything anyway.

Not to you at least.

“I’m fine...” you stated firmly as you turned your head a bit to lock eyes with him. He smiled softly at you before turning his gaze back to the funeral that was now ending. Taking a deep breath, you swallowed down the sick feeling that was rising in your throat. The warm feeling that Genma was giving you suddenly made you feel cold, like his embrace no longer gave you that sense of safety you craved. Your eyes drifted back to Jiraiya.

Something was wrong, but you didn’t know how to fix it.

“GAH WHERE IS HE?!”

Your head snapped up from your paper, eyes narrowing at the nurses scrambling around the town. You of course knew who they were looking for, but you weren’t going to rat him out. “YOU!” A smirk formed on your lips as the nurse stormed over to you, “Hi, how can I help you-”

“Where is he?!”

You fought back a chuckle as the seething nurse glared down at you, she had grown quite tired of Naruto’s little games, and the fact that you were so ‘blissfully’ unaware made it even worse. To be honest, you were also tired of the young boy running away from the hospital, but at this point, you could care less. Instead of saying anything right away, you reached down to grab your tea. The people in the tea house around you shot looks at the commotion, but you didn’t mind as you sweetly took a sip of the cooling liquid. “I have no idea what you’re talking about-”

“Naruto! Where is NARUTO”

An understanding hum vibrated in your chest and you sat down the tea in acknowledgment of her anger. You knew where he was, he was across the street eating ramen, but were you going to tell her?

No.

“I have no idea. Sorry!” your toothy grin caused the nurse's blood to boil, but instead of causing a bigger scene, she took a step back and rolled her eyes. “Fine, but if anything happens to him-”

“Then I’ll be to blame... I’m the one who complains about him anyway, so no one else is going to complain if he gets hurt, now are they?” It was true after all, you were the only person in the village who raised hell when he landed in the hospital, so if you being so calm about the situation said anything, it was that you didn’t care. The nurse sucked in her lip, her body trembling in anger as the other nurse tried to pull her back, reassuring her that it was going to be alright.

You waved at her cheekily before returning to your tea. Only when she left your sight did your eyes drift towards the ramen shop across from you, sighing at how long it was taking him to eat. He was currently wearing your shoes and clothes, helping him blend into the surroundings a little better than when he wore his normal outfit.

“So you’re the reason he’s so cheeky”

A yelp flew from your lips, tea spilling all over your dress as you spun towards the man crouched beside you. “J-Jiraiya! Don’t do that!!” your startled reply caused Naruto to peek his head out of the ramen shop, mouth still chewing the noodles as he took in the display of your flustered self. Jiraiya’s smile grew wide as you hastily dabbed at the tea that covered your entire dress. Gagging at the love-struck look on his Master's face, Naruto turned back to his ramen in disgust.

You were blissfully unaware of both Naruto’s disgusted reaction and Jiraiya’s love eyes as you purely focused on getting the stain out of your one and only dress. “I like that dress on you... Makes you look pretty”

“Oh, so I’m only pretty when I’m wearing a dress”

Jiraiya’s eyes bulged out as he tried to back peddle, “No! No no I mean you’re always beautiful, I’m just, ya know I just... I didn’t mean it like... If I were being honest, I think you’re the hottest when you’re in your Shinobi gear-” your e/c eyes shot a glare his way, cutting his incessant rambling short as you stood swiftly from your seat.

“How you see me doesn’t matter...” you whispered out before taking a step towards the ramen shop. Jiraiya was quick on his feet, hand capturing your wrist in an attempt to stop your retreat. “Wait, can we talk about -”

“Just because I’m no longer seeing Genma, doesn't mean I want to date you. Not after you left me-”

“Please just let me explain!” the tea shop grew silent at his roar, and soon your face was heating up in embarrassment. “Jiraiya” your whisper was soft, a silent warning that he was seconds away from ruining every chance he had with you if he didn’t calm down. His eyes scanned the crowd, provoking them all to go back to their own business. Stepping forward, he slowly raised his hand to cup your cheek sweetly. “I was scared of what he was going to do to you...”

Your watery eyes lifted to his, lip trembling as you searched his face for an answer to a question that you yourself didn’t know. He knew that the people around you were secretly leaning in, waiting for him to continue but he was having none of it. “Can we go somewhere, just you and I for a talk... Please” instead of answering him right away, you let your eyes trail over to where Naruto was still slurping down his ramen. What would he do? Biting your lip, you searched your heart for the answer and tried your best to ignore how his warm touch was making you melt into him. “Fine... But only for a couple of minutes”

The park wasn’t far from the ramen shop, but it was far enough away from others that you two finally had a quiet spot to talk. Your arms were tightly wrapped around your body, encasing you in your own bubble of safety from where you sat under the tree. Jiraiya paced above you, deep in thought as he tried to think of a way to explain everything to you. How he left to find Orochimaru. How he left to find a way to free you from the mark. How he left to keep you safe. He left to protect you...

But how does one say that?

Your eyes trailed over to where Naruto was ordering yet another bowl of soup, and you silently prayed for his bottomless pit of a stomach to fill up so you could leave. “Alright... ALRIGHT. I’ll just have to tell you everything” your attention snapped back to the Sannin as he plopped down onto the ground in front of you. Jiraiya reached forward and grabbed your hands tightly within his. A part of you was tired of this stupid game, but the other part of you saw just how nervous he was; that part of you was the reason you were still sitting here.

“I did it for you” the scoff that few from your lips caused him to hiss out a ‘listen’, he wasn’t playing around anymore and he wasn’t going to go another minute with you thinking he just left you. You shut your mouth immediately, bitting your cheek as a reminder that you didn’t know the whole story just yet. He could surprise you...

It was time to stop being so childish.

“When I saw his mark on you, a lot of feelings rushed through me. Anger, disgust, fear... But the reason I left wasn’t because I hoped he would leave you alone. I left to try and find a cure for his bite, for his mark. I knew that the shinobi holding you-”

“Genma” you muttered out, determined for him to acknowledge the man who was there for you when he wasn’t. “Yes... Genma” A shiver ripped up your spine at the way Jiraiya spit out his name as if it was the most venomous thing to have ever existed. He gripped your hands tighter, calming himself down before resuming. “I knew he would be able to protect you while I was gone. I didn’t want to leave you, but you weren’t safe without a cure. I was only gone a couple of days, but I only wanted to be gone for one. Seeing you fall from that rooftop plays in my mind over and over again. It still scares the absolute shit out of me.”

You averted your eyes from his heavy gaze, panic rising in your chest as you relived the day when it all went to hell. “I knew then that I shouldn't have left you at all... Cure or no cure, you needed me... And I’m sorry” the lump in your throat grew as you fought back the tears forming on your lash line. “I left because I love you”

Your head began to spin as it snapped back to him in utter shock. Your lungs took in a sharp intake of breath, yet it felt like you were drowning under his gaze. His lips were moving, but all your mind could process were those three words that left you dangling on the edge.

‘I love you’

He seemed to notice your distant gaze, yet instead of snapping you out of it, he scooted closer to you and cupped your face lovingly in his hands. “I love you... Don’t you see that?” your eyes seemed to grow wider as he repeated it again as if he was worried you didn't hear it the first time. You did hear it, you both knew that you heard it. So why was it so hard to process it?

‘I love you... Not her’ the tears you were holding back fell violently as you began to relive the memory of the first time your heart was ever broken. He was the reason you were so cold to the Uchiha clan, why you were so cold to love in general. He had lied to you, for he loved Rin more. “I’ve heard those words before” you sputtered out finally to Jiraiya, lips trembling as you lifted your hands to rip his from your face.

“They don’t mean shit”

Jiraiya’s mouth dropped as he watched you stand and storm towards Naruto who was now done and looking for you. The blonde caught sight of you, but his smile instantly fell as he heard your sobs and saw your tears. Moving his eyes to where you were coming from, he caught sight of Jiraiya chasing after you, calling out to you hastily.

Pleading for you to stop.

“What did he do!” Naruto screamed out, but before he could do anything you stopped him short. Kneeling down, you cupped his cheeks and pressed a loving kiss to his temple. “Nothing, he's just going to ask you to go with him on a mission. I’m sad but you’ll be safe, right?”

The boy's face softened as he now thought you were crying over him, but he was still confused as to why Jiraiya was so anxious about catching up with you. Before the man had a chance to grab you, you told Naruto that you’d pack his bag for him to pick up and took off. Leaving a dumbfounded boy and a heartbroken Sannin behind you.

Naruto looked up at his Master, a smile forming on his lips at the prospect of a mission that would help him grow. “So that mission! What are we doing!” Naruto’s cheery tone snapped Jiraiya out of his thoughts. Looking down at the boy, he shot a sheepish smile before leading him towards the ramen shop. Maybe this mission would clear his mind and help him figure out a plan to show that he loved you. Truly, deeply, loved you.

“We have to go find an old friend. Her name is Tsunade... You interested?”

The creaking of the swing filled the night air, mixing with your quiet sobs as you kicked at the dirt below you. You had grown tired from all of the crying, and the fact that you haven’t slept well in days only added to that. You didn’t know why you thought coming here would help you as if it would solve everything. This was the place where he told you he loved you, only for him to go to Rin and say the same thing. It was only weeks before he was killed.

And it was a death that changed you forever.

“He still haunts you... Doesn’t he?” A sad smile formed on your lips, but you didn’t look up as Kakashi entered the schoolyard. He knew of this spot, he knew of the significance he had on you. Hell, he remembered finding you here for years after Obito died, hoping to relive the moment where he told you he loved you.

Even if it was a lie, you wanted to relive it.

Kakashi moved to sit beside you on the ground, eyes cast towards the spot where his old friend once stood in that memory. He was there as well, shocked to hear those words come from his friend knowing that none of it was 100% true. Obito loved Rin too much and any other crush he had meant nothing.

“We were just kids” you whispered out, gripping onto the rope of the swing tighter in the realization of how silly it all was. “Well, we were just kids... Everyone else around us was older” Kakashi chimed in, hoping to ease the pain a bit. You were only 10 then, the same age as Kakashi when it all happened. You would lose your parents 4 years later, but no other pain compared to losing the Uchiha.

“Don’t you hate that we were so young?” your question caught Kakashi off guard, but he didn’t show it and instead looked up at you in confusion. Before he had time to question it, you continued on. “I mean, we were 10-year-olds working with 13-year-olds... That pressure alone is too much for a child. Don't you think?”

Silence fell over you both, it was comfortable but it was also loud. The longer it took for him to gather his words, the more stupid it felt to even ask that question in the first place. “No... Because we were placed in groups where we felt comfortable” his words were soft, and he saw the way your shoulders dropped in relaxation. You always felt so alone at the academy, even though you were on a team with Genma, Gai, and Ebisu. The three boys always had your back but made sure not to make you feel like they were protecting you just because you were young or a girl. They looked up to you, though it didn’t matter.

“I could never have been like you. I hate that”

Kakashi’s hand reached out to you, softly resting on your thigh as you once more began to cry. Once again crying over something as stupid as the past, nothing was going to bring back Obito and nothing was going to make you feel as good as Kakashi. “You know I couldn’t have raised Naruto, I don’t think anyone could have raised him but you” you nodded at the statement, knowing deep down that no one wanted to help the orphaned child.

No one but you.

“Obito loved you, but he loved Rin more. The thing is, he’s gone. You shouldn’t let that false statement of love judge any future romances you stumble upon... And yes, I do know about you and Jiraiya, he came to me asking for advice” your mouth opened to interject but he silenced you with a loud ‘shush’. “Now, I’m not one for romance, other than my books of course. But that man loves you, and I mean loves you. Goodness, I don't think I’ve ever seen a grown man cry harder... Anyway, you have to let Obito go.” Noticing your silence, Kakashi continued on. “And you have to stop comparing yourself to those around you when you’re the one raising a child with a demon inside of him. No one but you could have done that, and I’m sorry that I’ve been neglecting him. Truth is, I cant look at him and not see Obito”

More tears seemed to slip down your cheeks at his confession, for you saw the similarities as well. Naruto acted just like the late Uchiha, and sometimes it made it hard to breathe. Kakashi stood finally from his spot on the ground, before taking your hands in his and hauling you up from the swing. “We’re gonna get through this, but you gotta promise me something.”

Kakashi’s fingers wiped away your tears as he tried to formulate his next words carefully. In all honesty, the only time he’s seen you truly happy is when you’re around Jiraiya. He hates that, he really does consider he was the source of your happiness for so long, but he can’t watch you self destruct anymore. Not over something as stupid as a love confession that was a lie.

“Give him a chance... You deserve to feel real love, again.”

Your eyes shifted from his gaze and settled on your feet, one would have thought that you were panicking or afraid. But you were really hiding the fact that your heart rate picked up at the thought of giving him one more chance. “You think he loves me?” you whispered out sheepishly, eliciting a chuckle from your best friend in front of you. A smile formed on your lips as you looked up at him, stomach flipping at the way his eyes crinkled from sincerity.

“I bet my life on it”

#jiraiya imagine #jiraiya x reader #jiraiya fanfiction #jiraiya imagines #Jiraiya #naruto imagine #naruto imagines #naruto x reader #naruto fanfiction #naruto #genma imagine #iruka imagine

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writing-freak · 4 years

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BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 4: Save Your Soul

(GIF credit to its owner!!! :) )

Takami Keigo (Hawks) x Reader

Word Count: 1,373

A/N: It’s day 4 of my bnha soulmate au week!! Today’s fic, featuring this cutie, is an au where there are colorful marks on your skin where your soulmate touches you for the first time. Reader has a pair of hands on their waist! They turn black when the soulmate touches them. I love this boy so much, and I had such a fun time writing this, so I hope you guys like it! Remember, I’m taking soulmate au headcannon and imagine requests for BNHA characters in addition to the 3 other fics I have planned for this week! Stay tuned, tomorrow I have a cute drawing one with the lovable idiot, Kaminari! I also have some headcannons for Shinsou and Aizawa coming this evening! If you want to be added to this week’s taglist, or have a request, let me know! Thanks for reading!! :))

Masterlist

Unlike most, you were dreading the day you met your soulmate. You lived in a world in which people wore their soulmarks proudly, and it wasn’t uncommon to find bright marks dotting people’s faces, arms, necks, collarbones. Your mother had a soulmark on her right shoulder, which matched your father’s marks on the tips of his left fingers. You always found her wearing clothes that displayed the dark handprint (dark once it had been touched), never wanting to cover it up.

You, on the other hand, didn’t like people to see your soulmark. Because instead of a handprint on your shoulder, a mark on your hands that you’ve shook, or a brush on your arm where you bump into each other on the street, you had a very different soulmark. Just above your hips, on the sides of your waist, were two big handprints, grabbing you from behind.

You didn’t exactly know the context of when or where or under what circumstances your soulmate would grab you by the hips, but you also weren’t stupid, and the only guesses you could come up with involved your soulmate being some kind of perv. So no, you weren’t looking forward to meeting them.

And it wouldn’t be until you met them that you changed your mind.

You weren’t expecting it to be such a lively day when you woke up that morning, deciding real quick to take a last minute trip to the grocery store before your friends came for dinner that afternoon. It was a pretty mundane morning, to be quite honest, and the most out-of-the-ordinary thing you did was deciding to have a bowl of cereal instead of just your daily cup of coffee for breakfast.

It was sunny out (that was a nice change from the rain you’d been stuck in all week), so you had no problem walking the fifteen minutes or so to the store. It was a decision you made when you were about halfway there that, looking back, may have not been the best choice.

The streets were crowded - it appeared everyone had the same idea as you - and you were becoming uncomfortable with the massive groups. You saw a smaller street ahead, one you recognized from when you had lived in the area as a child, and decided to take a little shortcut (it could hardly be called a shortcut, about ten minutes out of the way).

As you turned onto the street, you realized it had changed a lot over the years. The houses that had once housed families with children your age looked abandoned, and the overgrowth of trees on the sides of the road blocked a lot of the sunlight.

You weren’t even halfway down the road when you decided you were going to turn back.

But when you spun around, quickly, before you could change your mind, you were met face to face with a man you hadn’t realized was right behind you.

There was a flash of pain, and you felt the man’s body connecting with yours. You were tackled off the street, and found yourself on the ground, rubbing your elbows where you had fallen on them. The man had leapt back, and he was facing you with a menacing grin on his face. You struggled to stand, facing the man, who, now that you looked at him, in his strange suit and mask hanging from his face, you realized was a villain.

You were frozen to the spot, unable to move as the villain stared you down. Unfortunately for you, the villain had tackled you into a dark alley, and since you hadn’t been on the main street anyway, you were worried that no one would see you, and no one would come to your rescue. But no matter how much you knew in that moment that your fate rested in your hands, you simply could not move, rooted to the spot by an intense fear sweeping over you.

But your theory about not being seen must have been wrong, for seconds later, you heard a pair of sweeping wings flying over you. You hoped and prayed it was a hero, or a helpful civilian, and not another villain, but based on the man in front of you’s reaction, it wasn’t someone he liked.

The villain lashed out with his quirk, and a pair of steel bars came flying at you. But you heard one more sweep of the wings, and a pair of arms grabbed your waist and flew you out of the way just before the bars could impale your chest.

Despite the circumstances, and your racing heart, your attention immediately went to the hands on your waist, which seemed to be radiating some sort of warmth, a warmth that spread through your entire body. And even as the hands left your waist to wrap around your body, lifting you from the ground to get you further away from the scene, the warmth never left, sending an unexpected sort of comfort with you as you and your savior took to the skies.

You had never liked heights, but it was over in an instant, and you were set onto solid ground (or so you thought, you were a little dizzy from the flight) within seconds. The arms left, and you jumped away, turning to finally get a good look at the person who had saved your life.

You certainly weren’t expected to see the number two pro hero Hawks, with his red wings spreading behind him, his mouth open and his eyes wide with shock.

But a sudden breeze blew over you, stronger than you were used to, and your attention was momentarily brought to your surroundings.

“Are we on a roof?” you asked incredulously, looking around you.

Your words seemed to break the hero in front of you out of his trance, and he frantically began tearing his black gloves off, looking at his hands in amazement. His gaze then shifted to you, and in the time you took to blink, he was right there, holding your waist as he pulled you closer.

“What are you doing?” But Hawks didn’t listen, and he was currently pulling your shirt up, which happened to be tucked into your jeans. Before you could try and push him off, your soulmarks were revealed, and while the wind on your bare skin was biting, as the man, now behind you, fit his fingers over the marks on your skin, where they fit perfectly, a warmth like before spread through you.

The marks had turned black in the time it had taken you to fly to the roof.

His hands were lifted from your skin, and then he was turning you around to face him. But you could only stare into his golden eyes with the same look he had given you before, your mouth hanging open in shock.

He looked more composed, and a sly sort of grin crossed his face as he narrowed his eyes at you. It was all consuming, his gaze, and you felt your breath knocked from your lungs as you couldn’t look away.

His smile never faded, even as he talked, and his eyes were glued to yours, permanently, it seemed. You were way too close for you to focus. “I have a feeling by the look on your face that you know who I am, little dove,” he said, the first words he spoke to you, his voice unexpectedly deep and husky. “But as much as I regret having to say this, I do not know you. Care to introduce yourself to me?”

You realized you couldn’t speak. But as Hawks looked at you expectantly, you cleared your throat. “I-I’m y/n.”

His smile grew wider, if at all possible. “What a lovely name, y/n. I do believe we are soulmates.” You realized suddenly that his arms were still at your sides.

“Don’t you have a patrol to be doing?” you asked nervously, feeling breathless as you felt the distance between your bodies closing, every so slowly.

“I would say that I have a pretty good excuse. It’s not every day you meet the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.”

Taglist: @anything-and-everything-here69 @engel-hageshii @mrsreina @pm4gal

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chuckbass-love · 4 years

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Hey! Chris x reader slow burn? I don’t have a clear idea but.. just slow burn, OMG.

I’ve not done much slow burn. I mean my Andy series was kinda, my Ransom fic was and my new ransom series has been kinda. But yeah i love this. Slow burn is some of my fave stuff to read.

Reader is going to be a singer/actress in this!

I hope you love this as i’m feeling very insecure about it. Let me know, feedback is always welcome.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Slow burn, fluff and smut...MAYBE 😉

Word Count: 5,694

Summary: You and Chris are about to become co-stars in a new movie. You meet him when you attend the Oscars and from the second your eyes meet, a crush develops on both parts. But it’s not as easy to admit your feelings.

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @itsagentromanoff go check them out ❤️

Worth The Wait

As an actor, Chris Evans is used to women fawning over him and pretty much throwing themselves his way. He’s got the ladies right where he wants them. He’s no heartbreaker, not intentionally anyway but he has been around the block a couple times.

When it comes to you on the other hand, your the polar opposite. You’ve only had one serious relationship. Sure guys ask you out or slide into your DM’s but you pay them no mind. You prefer to focus on your career.

You’re currently on track to release some new music. You’re also preparing to start shooting scenes for a new movie in the next couple of months. A romance movie. As soon as you got the part you found out about who would be your love interest. It’s Chris Evans.

As an actress and a woman in the industry, you obviously know who he is, you don’t live under a rock. He’s been in lots of movies that you’ve seen. He’s also very handsome, you can’t deny that. But you won’t be the one to fall at his feet. That isn’t your style. You prefer the subtle approach.

Tonight is the first time that you’re attending the Oscars and to say that you’re nervous would be the understatement of the century. It’s a day in the hairdressers chair with a makeup artist in the afternoon and a nail tech too. Your dress is at your house, hung up on the rack ready to put on last minute.

“So what are we going for today?” your hairdresser asks, you show her some images and she gets to work on what you requested. It has to be perfect. You have to make a good impression.

-----------------

4:30pm

Makeup done, nails done, hair done. Time for the finishing touch, your dress.

Your car pulls up to your house, ready to take you there, the nerves are flooding your body but you have your best guy friend with you, Jason. He’s your date tonight.

“Calm yourself, you’ll be fine” he’s always reassuring you whenever your anxiety hits full force.

“I just don’t know what to expect” he rests his hands over yours before handing you a glass of champagne.

“Get this down you, it’ll help” you can’t help but giggle, taking the glass and drinking all of the contents in it.

Whether you’re ready or not for the red carpet, you’re here. No turning back.

As you step out, your friend helps you. You’re wearing a full length red dress with black heels. You’re bombarded with flashes and shouting. Photographers calling for you to look their way.

You walk onto the carpet, posing with your friend when you stop for the cameras. He wraps his arm around you and you smile as he whispers in your ear about all the camera men getting excited thinking that you two are a couple. He already knows the questions that you’re going to be asked.

‘Is he your boyfriend?’

‘How long have you been together?’

You have the perfect response ready if that happens. He steps out of your way briefly so you can get some solo pics taken, this isn’t actually that bad. Posing for the cameras that is. It’s quite annoying with everyone shouting at you to look at them but aside from that, you’re enjoying it.

As you walk further up the carpet you hear everyone screaming “CHRIS OVER HERE”

It’s Chris Evans. The leading man for your new movie. He looks good. More than good. He’s hot. But you won’t let that show.

Chris pulls Scott back to him when they finish taking solo pictures. Ready to take more with them two together. Scott starts laughing at something the photographers say before noticing Chris not paying attention.

“Earth to Chris” he snaps his fingers in his face, following his eye line, that’s when he discovers what’s got his brother so distracted, or should he say who.

You’re stood there, laughing your head off with a guy, your smile is the type of smile that has everyone around smiling along with you.

It’s infectious, just like your laugh. You look absolutely gorgeous.

He knows exactly who you are, he’s heard your music and the movies you’ve done. He also knows that you’re playing his love interest for his new upcoming movie. Now he’s seen you in person he can tell he’ll have no trouble with intimate scenes.

He watches you until he feels Scott tugging at his arm and just before he looks away, you look up, your eyes meet. For a split second.

And in that second, he feels something. A crush developing. It sounds crazy, he doesn’t even know you but he feels some type of way.

Your eyes meet his blue ones, only for a second but it has your heart beating fast. He really is beautiful. You’re looking forward to working with him.

All of the celebrities make their way into the building ready for the event to start, you’re guided to your table.

You’re sitting with the man himself. It’s like there’s a god up there plotting all of this, forcing you together. You can’t complain though.

“So, you’re Y/N then?” he pipes up, rubbing his hands together before lifting a glass to his pink lips, they look so soft. You wonder what it would be like to kiss them. But remember, you need to keep it subtle.

“Yeah, i heard i’ll be working with you soon” he nods his head “Indeed, i look forward to it” Scott and your date look back and forth between the two of you, the chemistry is painfully obvious between you and Chris.

---------------

Since both of your plus ones have left to go to the toilet, he moves over to sit next to you. Not caring about how it looks to everyone around.

“How long have you and Jason been together?” you can’t help but giggle, you knew people would assume things.

“He’s not my boyfriend, he’s my best friend. I’m single by the way if that’s what you were trying to find out” he sighs at his failed attempt.

He can’t believe that you just sassed him. It makes him like you more. He’s intrigued, he wants to find out more. Whether that’s going to be possible in this setting is the one question on his mind. That and the question of asking you for your number before the others come back.

“Listen, i don’t usually do this but since we’re going to be working together anyways. I just wondered if maybe i could get your number. We can try and find time to hang out, get to know each other a bit better before shooting starts” you bite back the smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth, giving him your best poker face.

“I mean, i suppose that could be handy. Sure” your voice normal, your facial expressions are dead serious as you type your number into his iPhone.

He grins as he moves back to his seat and minutes later Scott and Jason return. They both take their seats and the show resumes. Cameras are rolling so you try your best to look good in case you’re caught in the footage, checking yourself out in your pocket mirror quickly.

This night is going really well so far.

You like Chris of course you do, he’s handsome, charming and polite. But as much as you’re looking forward to kissing him and getting close you have to admit that he’s not your usual type. You also have your reservations about ever going there with him if he tried it.

You don’t date co stars, not whilst you’re filming with them anyways. It’s unprofessional, a rule you’ve not broken so far but will he make it difficult for you? That’s another thing entirely.

--------------------

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and you’re chilling at home today. Shooting for your movie starts next weekend and you’re taking all the time you can to work on some new music and take some much needed pamper time.

You sit there in your studio, writing lyrics and figuring out a beat when you hear your phone ringing. There’s a huge pile of sheet music in the way, you start moving it to find your phone sat there. Chris’s name on the screen.

“Hello” you greet

“Well hello to you too, someone sounds very happy to hear from me” he chuckles, making your heart flutter.

“Oh, can’t you tell, i’m jumping up and down from all the excitement” he can’t hold back his laughter, trying to stop it so he can actually speak.

“What are you up to today?”

“Currently, i’m song writing. Yourself?” he hums in response “not a lot, i was wondering if you wanted to try and hang out? Get to know each other, shooting starts next weekend and i barely know who i’m going to be kissing” he’s cheeky and very flirtatious, you gotta give him his props. He knows how to woo the ladies. But you’re not buying any of this. He probably does this with all of this leading ladies.

As much as you want to swoon and give in, you have to stay professional and protect your heart. He’s dangerously handsome, the dream personality that every girl wants a guy to have. He’s perfect but you could get hurt if you step over that line.

You decline his invite, making an excuse about getting this song done. He sounds quite sad as he hears your rejection.

“Well, i guess i’ll leave you to it then. Maybe we can do it another time” you agree, hanging up the phone.

You feel silly for declining his invite. But you have stuff to do, you also know that if you start hanging out, you’ll catch feelings.

Little do you know, catching feelings for one Chris Evans is inevitable. It’ll sneak up on you.

-------------

“Chris and Y/N to set please” the director shouts, summoning the two of you. It’s your first scene with him. He spots you and smiles as you get closer.

“Oh if it isn’t miss unavailable” he mocks, you shove him playfully “Or maybe i was just trying to shake you off” he rolls his eyes. You both check over the script before the cameras start rolling.

Your character is sat in a cafe when his character strolls in with his friends. He looks around when his eyes fall on you. You’re sat there reading a book, sipping at your coffee when you hear them all making a bunch of loud noises.

You look up and your eyes meet and in this moment, it doesn’t even feel like acting. It feels real.

“You guys go ahead, i’ll catch up” he practically rushes his friends out of the door before sitting across from you.

“Wait, people actually read nowadays?” you scoff at his attempt to be funny, finishing up your drink and packing your stuff away.

Just like in real life, he can’t catch a break with you. You aren’t giving him the time of day.

“I didn’t mean to offend you” you roll your eyes, turning back to him.

“If you think some comment about books is going to offend me then let me just say that you’ll have to work a lot harder” you storm out of the building, away from him.

The director yells cut. You head over to him for some feedback. He seems very happy with how the scene worked out. He gives a couple of tips for the next scene. He wants your character to bump into Chris’s character at work, leading him to mock you and get cocky about you stalking him.

You take a couple of sips from your water bottle before continuing. Shooting the next scenes. He keeps messing up, causing you to be there longer. Shooting the same one over and over. Next take he gets it, you don’t mess up once. You feel quite smug about it. He’s the professional, you’re the amateur and he’s the one messing up his lines. How ironic.

It’s time for a break, you head back to your trailer, sitting down and flicking through your phone. You hear a knock on your door. “Come in” you call out, he enters.

“Following me around i see” you giggle

“Nice sarcasm. Very funny. Have i done something wrong?” you furrow your brows in confusion.

“No, why?” maybe your stand offish attitude and poker face expression has clearly been too good.

“You just seem really off with me. Rejecting any invitation i made to hang out last week. Rushing off set when they called for a break. Seems like you don’t want to be around me” you shrug him off.

“There’s no issue, i didn’t mean to give that impression. It might just be my nerves. I’m sorry” you feel awful. You never intended to take your professionalism too far. Clearly you’ve come across as a stuck up bitch. Like you’re too good for him, that’s not the case.

“It’s cool. Look if it helps with the nerves, i was the same when it came to Captain America. I almost turned the role down and missed out on it because of my anxiety. But you just gotta take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re here because you’re talented and clearly the best woman for the role”

You feel taken back by him. He’s really down to earth. A quality you didn’t expect to be real in him. You’ve seen interviews and heard lovely things about him before but a lot of celebrities have a way of acting one way in public and another behind closed doors.

That very clearly isn’t the case for him. He’s real. Genuine and very soft in person.

The fact that he took the time to come and see if you were okay and to squash any tensions. He didn’t have to but he did. It’s nice and endearing to see.

“Thank you, honestly i appreciate it. I’m just a bit off my game. I’ve not done much in terms of movie roles and this is only my 3rd role so i’m trying to get better with nerves” he flashes you a reassuring smile before standing up.

“I’m going to get some snacks, you coming?” you throw your phone in your bag and head out with him, accepting his offer this time.

“So what music are you working on?” he asks, shoving some fruit into his mouth.

“Just music, i don’t want to give too much away and risk boring you with the details” he waves it off “you could never be boring” your cheeks heat up but you continue to eat to ignore it.

“Seriously, you can’t just sing me something?” he begs, giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

“Guess you’ll have to wait for that Evans”

“What’s your deal anyways?” you ask as you finish up with your food and head back to set.

“What do you mean?” you shrug “your relationship status duh. I mean i think i’ve shared a lot with you today. It’s your turn” he nods “I’m single unfortunately. 39 and still single, quite pathetic i know” you stop walking, turning to him.

“Dude, snap. You’re not pathetic don’t worry. I feel the same occasionally being 28 and still single when all my friends have kids and are married but it happens. Love works in mysterious ways. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to”

It’s true. As much as you feel lonely, you know things will fall into place soon. So you try not to stress to much.

You get back to set and continue with filming. It’s gonna be a long day.

----------------

You make your way back to the trailer, preparing to get some sleep but you feel your phone buzz when you pull the covers over you.

‘I can’t sleep, fancy watching a movie?’

This screams trouble. You already spent some time with him off set today.

Fuck it.

‘Sure, come over?’

You don’t get a response but a knock at the door distracts you.

“You brought snacks” you chirp, spying the chocolate in his hands. He walks in, kicking his shoes off and making his way to the bedroom area.

“Someone’s making themselves at home” he grabs the remote, flicking through your Netflix that you set up on the tv.

“How about a horror” you suggest, he agrees and clicks on IT.

You both sit there, chatting whilst barely watching it.

He tells you about his dog Dodger, showing you pictures and videos of his cute pup.

“I just want to cuddle him, he’s the cutest” you coo as you urge for him to show you another. You move closer to him, a bit too close as you watch.

Once the video finishes you look at him, realising that your face is inches away from his. You instantly back away. Almost as if his presence gives you an electric shock.

“Longest relationship” way to change the subject.

“6 years” you respond, the memories of it all come back. He motions for you to elaborate.

“The relationship wasn’t all bad. It was good for the first year or two. Then it just got boring, we both stayed because we got comfortable. Relaxed. I guess It was easy to be with someone who despite me not loving him, we both knew one another inside out and there was no need to make too much effort. Eventually we both realised that it had to end. There was no hard feelings, we’re still friends. He’s married now with a son”

You feel a little sad that he managed to find his soul mate, his person. the woman he truly loves. And yet you’re stuck in this rut.

“How about you?” you change the subject before he can comment on how bothered you look.

“5 years, it wasn’t a bad break up either just didn’t work out i guess. It happens and now here i am. Single too. Just going about my life. Wondering if i’ll ever marry and have kids” he chuckles, you can see the embarrassment in his face. The way he’s looking down to avoid your eyes.

He feels a sense of sadness too. He wants a family, this isn’t new information. You’ve seen the interviews. He’s always said he wants a big family. But he’s still alone and no closer to achieving that.

The more you talk to him, the more you like him. He’s so genuine and sweet. He’s got a heart of gold, you can see it so easily. Not a bad or mean bone in his body.

Why on earth is he single?

He’s the dream boyfriend, the guy that pretty much most girls want. He’s sensitive, romantic and sexy.

This will forever be a mystery after tonight. You feel like you know each other inside and out now.

It’s nice.

As time ticks by, it’s getting later. It’s now midnight and you’re focusing on the movie, you turn to make a joke about one of the scenes but he’s fast asleep next to you. You throw some of the duvet over him before lying down yourself and turning the tv off.

---------------

The sunlight almost blinds you, forcing you awake. You desperately reach to shut the blinds but a voice stops you dead in your tracks.

“Wakey wakey” It’s Chris.

“We’re needed on set in half an hour. So get up sleepy head” he teases, throwing a pillow at you. You jump up out of bed, chasing him with said pillow. Ready to throw it back to him.

“Oh you are a grumpy one in the mornings. I shoulda known” you can’t even be mad, he’s so positive and smiley. You just toss the pillow to the ground and head to shower.

You step out to find him in the lounge area, coffee cups in his hands. He hands you one.

You check the time to see you have 15 minutes left to get ready. You waste no time in downing your coffee and rushing to change before heading out with him to hair and makeup.

The women both get to work on the two of you. Chris starts cracking jokes and playing music to lighten everyones mood. It works.

You only have two scenes today before you’re free to do whatever you want. Chris however has 4 scenes.

--------------

You finish the final one, you messed up a couple times but it’s all good. It was just a mixture of nerves and not remembering lines. You soon perfected it though.

A smell of bacon and fresh fruit fills your nose. Food time. You head into the kitchen to grab some and halfway through, Chris joins. He plonks himself down on the bench opposite you, a huge grin plastering his face.

“What do you want?” your voice laced with suspicion “nothing just wanted to eat my lunch with my new best friend” you giggle, stuffing pineapple in your mouth and starting a conversation with him about politics.

He’s really into his politics and you figured you should get into it too. You should really start paying attention and taking an interest in what’s happening around you.

He gets onto the topic of his new project A Starting Point. Telling you all about it and everything he has planned for it. It’s refreshing to hear. A guy that’s sexy, smart, sensitive and romantic. He really is the full package.

If Chris is being honest with himself, he has a huge urge to kiss you right now. The way you’re taking an interest in his new project, asking him questions and really making an effort. It’s a turn on for him for sure. A huge one. It’s obvious that he’s attracted to you, everyone can see it. Everyone but you that is.

You’re not showing any signs of reciprocating the same feelings or even that you’ve noticed how he feels. But that’s what makes him like you more. You’re so chill around him. You treat him like a normal person not a celebrity. You want to know normal things rather than about his career as an actor.

“I can’t believe you saw me in the morning, i must have looked rough” you laugh, covering your face with your hands.

“You could never look rough so shush. You looked cute” you feel your cheeks heat up at his compliment. You can’t help but feel shy.

He’s saying all the right things.

This crush is going to be the death of you.

----------

Filming has flown by. You’re on your last two days and you feel emotional. The only scenes that are left are the intimate ones. The sex scenes. It’s daunting to film but you have to face it head on.

Your crush on Chris and his crush on you has really developed. You’ve spent weeks flirting non stop but nothing much has come of it. Just that you’ve gotten closer. It’s friendship only as far as you both know. Neither one of you have admitted these secret feelings. Both of you unaware of the other feeling the same.

You walk onto set ready to face this scene head on. He flashes you a reassuring smile as you start the scene at the directors call.

“Can you ever forgive me”

“I don’t know”

“What if i was extra nice from now on”

He stalks closer to you, his hands snaking around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

He lowers his head down, kissing at your sweet spot, biting too. A soft moan escapes your lips and he stops. He lifts his head, his eyes meet yours and a smile grows on both of your faces.

The director yells cut and you both have a quick drink before resuming.

No direct kissing happens yet, just some teasing neck kisses and flirtatious comments.

Once the day draws to a close you head back to your trailer, not realising that Chris is hot on your heels.

You shut your trailer door but it opens again. He rushes in like there’s an emergency.

“You okay?”

“I’m good, i just wanted to talk to you about the scenes that we’re doing tomorrow”

You gesture for him to take a seat, you sit down beside him, letting him talk.

“They are quite intimate and raunchy should i say, i just want to make sure that you’re comfortable with doing that with me”

This is cute. He cares to check that you’re comfortable.

You reassure him that you are.

“Chris it’s fine. Thank you though, i appreciate this. But i’ll have no trouble doing those scenes with you” your eyes widen. Way to put your foot in it.

His eyes meet yours, a questioning look on his face but you find a way to change the subject.

You escaped that one by the skin of your teeth. He’s bound to bring it up again.

Hopefully he doesn’t.

-------------

Final day of filming has just begun. The scenes are seconds away from starting.

Your character and Chris’s character are sitting on a couch. The energy right now has your pussy quite literally throbbing. He smells so good and he looks even better.

“You know the effect you have on me right” he says, barely above a whisper.

“Why don’t you prove it”

He picks you up, pulling you onto him to straddle his lap. His hands rest on your waist before gliding to grip your ass.

Another moment where you don’t think this is going to be acting for you.

This is all you’ve wanted since you met the guy.

“You sure?” you nod your head in response to his question before he crashes his lips to yours. You can see fireworks.

It’s passionate, all consuming and he’s quite literally taking your breath away.

You continue to make out, moving positions so he’s standing up, carrying you. He leads you to the bed in the same room. As he lays you down, he breaks from the kiss, looking at you like he’s looking into your soul.

The director yells cut and you both pause to get feedback before continuing. The heat between the two of you is evidently clear. It’s not acting. It’s real. It’s like all of the flirting and sexual tension has built up and is finally coming out in this scene. At least the chemistry will be believable to the viewers.

Once you finish the scene. It’s a wrap.

You’re relieved. The last couple months has been pure torture. Acting with him. Fighting urges and temptations.

Everyone claps as you all hug.

You have one more night in the trailer before heading home tomorrow.

It’s not a boring night though, you’re too distracted over that kiss earlier to care about being in complete darkness.

You fall asleep shortly after, eager to get back to L.A.

------------

It’s home time and you bend down trying to shut your suitcase. A couple of groans and sex like sounds escape your mouth.

“Knock knock. Oh shit” he chuckles, stepping inside to find you bent over, packing.

You stand upright, turning immediately.

“Sorry did i interrupt something?” he holds his hands up “not at all. Just this suitcase testing my patience” he walks over kneeling down to help.

“Sit on it for me” he instructs, you listen, sitting down.

He starts pulling at the zip and it budges slightly but not properly. He pulls harder and as he’s leaning back he bumps into you, knocking you backwards and onto the floor. You burst into a fit of laughter. He kneels down next to you to help you.

You’re a ball on the floor, laughing and snorting as you try to get up, you fail and probably look ugly but to him you’re beautiful. He brushes a strand of hair out of your face, bringing you back down to earth. You sit up and eventually zip your suitcase up.

You turn to walk away but he pulls you back to him.

Chest to chest. Eyes locked on his. His breath fans your face. He smells incredible.

“I um, should probably get going. My ride is here” you gulp. His hand rests on your waist before his grip loosens.

His time is up.

“If you ever want to hang out though, we don’t live far from each other. It won’t be hard to keep in touch” he starts but you finish it “sure, i’d like that” and with that, you leave him standing there alone.

----------

You’ve been back in L.A for a week now, still no text from him. It is what it is though, he doesn’t owe it to you.

The day goes quickly. You lounge around the house all day, bored with nothing to do. That’s when your phone buzzes.

‘Fancy hanging out? I’m going out of my mind here’

‘Sure’

He offers to pick you up, to hang out at his place. He can’t leave his dog alone. You give him your address and wait for him to arrive, setting your alarms and running out to meet him. He had a lot of security to get past just to get to your house. Luckily with him being famous too, he has the same precautions in place.

You get into the his car and head back to his place. The chat on the way is mostly about what you’ve both been up to and turns out you’re both massive introverts and have done sweet fuck all.

It doesn’t take long to reach his place. Just as he pulls into his garage he warns you about Dodger.

“Just so you know, he’ll be hyper. I’ve not had anyone over in a while. Especially a woman” you shake it off and the second you step foot into his house Dodger comes running, jumping up and tackling you until you fall to the floor.

You don’t care though, you love dogs. And Dodger is just the cutest ever.

He licks your face and you pet him, settling him.

“Dodge, come on boo boo” he whistles and the excited pup sits, wagging his tail.

“He’s all good don’t worry. I had dogs growing up. I’m used to it” he leads you to the kitchen, offering you a drink to which you decline.

You start wondering through his house, not realising that he’s following closely behind.

“You’ve got such a nice house you know”

“I tried with the decor but had to call Scott in for help”

“It’s nice th-”

“I’m sorry i can’t do this” he let’s out a deep breath.

“Do what?”

You get closer and he crashes his lips to yours.

You kiss him back, your arms wrapping around his neck loosely. His hands fall to your ass again.

His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, nudging you to part them and make way for him. You happily oblige. The kiss soon gets heated. He taps the back of your thighs. You jump and he starts walking, carrying you to what looks like his bedroom. He lays you down onto the bed.

You break away, panting.

“That was so worth the long wait. God i’ve wa-”

You pull him down by the collars of his shirt, connecting your lips back to his. His hands lift your shirt off before removing his own. Your hands fiddle with his belt buckle, rushing to get him naked. He spots your need, standing up to help you out.

As he does, you rid yourself of your clothes, laying there in nothing but your panties.

He looks down, examining you. In complete awe of the sight.

“Please” you beg, he slides your panties off.

He knows what you want, he doesn’t have to even guess.

This is just what you wanted. From day one.

All the sexual tension is coming out to play. He slides a condom down his hard length, sliding into you straight away.

Your pussy stretches around him, making room.

He’s the biggest you’ve ever had that’s for certain.

“Feel good?” he asks, you hum, wrapping your legs around him.

“You’re so tight baby” he grunts, picking his pace up slightly. You pull him down and kiss him before breaking away and propping yourself up on your elbows, watching as his cock disappears inside of you.

It feels so amazing. You don’t ever want it to end.

“God, just like that. Fuck” you bite at your bottom lip, your eyes locked on his as he fucks you. He kisses your leg as he holds them up.

Soon enough, as you’re getting used to the mind blowing pleasure, he switches things up.

He flips the two of you over so you’re straddling him.

You start bouncing up and down, grinding as he bottoms out. He pulls you down so he can take matters into his own hands.

His pace picks up again, getting quicker than before.

“Shit” you groan, head falling into the crook of his neck.

“Come on baby, cum for me” he encourages, whispering naughty things to you as he holds your body like it was made just for him.

“Oh god Chris” your pussy starts to throb, your walls flutter around him. You’re falling over that edge, that sweet release consuming you.

“Just like that baby. I’m right behind you” and with that. He twitches and groans. His mouth falls open as he reaches his.

He looks so sexy like this. You’re both naked and vulnerable.

This isn’t like any sex that you’ve had before. This was romantic and intimate. It was sexy and nasty too at some parts. It was perfect.

“You know, i’ve wanted to do that since that night at the Oscars” you chuckle, agreeing with him.

“Me too. I’m glad we didn’t though. Clearly all of that build up helped us act better” you both burst into laughter. You’re not wrong.

You don’t know where this leaves you but for now you just want to live in the moment.

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criminalminds4days · 3 years

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Family Matters | Chapter 4: Saying Sorry is a Virtue

Hello my beautiful souls!!

I hope this of you who celebrate Christmas had and amazing time, and those if you who don't had a great Friday!

I had a really chill holiday, and although I was supposed to be home and that didn't happen, I'm still glad I had a good time. I got a watch for Christmas and I'm obsessed!!

Anyway, I also wanted to let you guys know I'll be posting the story on Wattpad, and thanks to @meowiemari I also have a cover. I have attached it below! My wattpad user is @criminalminds4days so feel free to follow and read along!

Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It's one of my favorites. 💙💙

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 4: Saying Sorry is a Virtue

It had been a little over three months since her absolute wrecking of the family retreat. She had managed to get her mom to get past it, and though she had promised to apologize to the rest of her aunts and uncles, she had not gotten around (well, more like she didn't think it was necessary, they probably had already forgotten, and she did actually mean every word she said).

Her team and she had evaded more danger than possible in the last couple of weeks, and she had a feeling today she would not be returning to her bed to sleep. She also had to figure out what she wanted to get Spencer for his birthday. She was so excited to celebrate with him that she wanted to spill her idea of a surprise birthday party to him, but she needed to remain strong. She just hoped he would like it, and that she could find something to give him. She knew him so much better now and had so many things that he would like, but she wanted this gift to be unique, something that reminded him of her. Not that she wanted him thinking about her all the time because that would be weird, but maybe once in a while?

A knock on her door made her get out of her head. She walked to see Tyler Hemingway standing on the other side.

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

"I just-" He looked at the floor, nervous. "I was just hoping we could talk."

"We can talk right here, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to say I am sorry, for what happened."

"What exactly? That you humiliated me in front of my family, or that your wife called me and my boyfriend liars."

"All of it, I should have known better."

"Yes, you should have." She debated whether to say something else but decided against it. "I honestly don't understand where this is coming from, it was two years ago."

"I know, and I am also sorry it has taken me so long to say anything. I just didn't know how to approach the situation, and what we had was so special, I wish I hadn't ruined it."

She had waited to hear those words for so long that how wrong what she did, didn't occur to her until the damage had been done. Even if her feelings for the man in front of her were not the same as they were two years ago, those words were enough to make her become less hostile towards him. She let Tyler in, forgetting Spencer was waiting for her to pick him up in about twenty minutes.

"Spencer? Why are you late?"

"Because she didn't pick me up like she was supposed to. I assumed she may be running a little late, so I waited and then I called her, but it went straight to voicemail." He responded to Emily.

"That is so not like her, should we be worried?"

"I don't know, but I already am, maybe we should go see if she's home or something."

The elevator doors opened once again as Spencer and Emily were preparing themselves to raid her house in order to find her. She stepped out, a look of immense guilt present as her eyes landed on the brunette. He did not seem upset, more like relieved she was there. Emily dropped her jacket and embraced her, a huge weight lifting off her shoulders after seeing her. When she was released from the woman's hug, she directed her eyes back to him.

"I am so sorry; I was on my way-" before she could explain Aaron Hotchner told them to join the rest of the team at the round table to discuss the next case.

"This one is a bad one," JJ said as she read through the file. "These people are killing families. Not even the children are spared."

"Yeah, and it's only getting worse." Said Penelope as she shared the pictures of the crime scenes. She wished she could concentrate but Spencer kept glancing at her with worry. He knew something wasn't right, but she didn't know how to explain it without sounding like she was digging herself in a bigger hole.

She avoided him on the jet, as she pretended to be asleep and then engaged in a very interesting conversation with JJ about diapers and toddlers. As much as she loved the blonde, she sometimes didn't appreciate learning all these baby facts, it took the wishes to have children away faster than anything else.

She was now in a black SUV, with Spencer in the back seat and Emily driving. She sat in the front seat as they drove towards the hospital. One of the girls had been spared and they were hoping to talk to her about the unsubs.

"So, why were you late this morning?" Emily questioned, "You left Cinderella over there without his carriage."

"Yeah, I know. I am so sorry Spencer."

"It's okay, I just got worried."

"I know, and I am so sorry." She took a deep breath, preparing to explain to them why she had been delayed. "I just got some unexpected company this morning."

"Was it Anna?"

"No, she has been radio silent for these past couple of months, I'm assuming she is building a bulletproof alibi for when she decides to murder me."

"Is there something I should know about?" Emily asked as she stole glances at her.

"Spencer and I went to my family retreat a couple of months ago and when we were there I may or may not have basically told my aunts and uncles to go fuck themselves."

"You explicitly told them to do so." Spencer clarified.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because they all sucked. Emily if you would have been there, you would have done the same." Spencer responded. "But going back to the main topic, who came to your apartment today? Was it your mom?"

"We need to have a conversation about this whole family retreat thing!" The woman behind the steering wheel complained.

"I will tell you all about it tonight." She assured her. "And no, Spence, it wasn't my mom, it was someone a little closer to Anna."

"Her mom?"

"No, Tyler."

There was no response to that, Spencer looked like he didn't know exactly what he was feeling, while Emily seemed like she had returned to watch her favorite show only to find out she missed a whole season, and she had no idea what happened to the storyline she was following.

"Who's Tyler?"

"Anna's husband." She clarified, "he came to apologize for everything, and to say that he didn't think what Anna did was okay."

Reid scoffed, "and you believe him?"

"He seemed very genuine about it."

"Unbelievable."

"I am so lost right now."

"Spencer, are you upset about this?"

"Me? Why should I? It's not like I pretended to be your boyfriend to prevent him from making you feel any worse than he had already, and you ended up right back at where you started."

"Are you implying I slept with him?"

"I never said that."

"Well then what are you saying? Because need I remind you, he is a married man. I would never do something like that." She crossed her arms, becoming defensive of the situation. "He simply wanted to talk, so I listened. It was a conversation, and it's just going to be a dinner. Nothing more."

"Oh, so you're going on a date with him too?"

"It's not a date! Did I not mention he was married?! To another woman!"

"Being with someone else has never stopped him before."

"What is happening right now?" Emily asked, to no one in particular.

"Seriously Spencer?"

"Did I lie?"

"Why are you so worked up about this? It doesn't even concern you."

"I am upset, because even after he told you in front of all your family that he was in love with your cousin and married her, breaking your heart, he says, 'I'm sorry' and suddenly he's back on the top of your priority list." He spits out, his emotions running high.

"This man did what now?" Both looked at Prentiss as if remembering she was there all along.

"I can't believe you just said that! I confided in you."

"And I trusted you."

"It was one day! I forgot to pick you up one day and suddenly I am the worst person on this planet, really?"

"Are you seriously so oblivious to think this is about some stupid ride?"

"Guys,"

"No? Then what is this about? Is this about me making you look bad or something?"

"No, it's about the fact that after all we've been through and the fact that I have done all I can to help you and be there for you I am still less important than Tyler fucking Hemingway."

"Guys,"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Guys,"

"It doesn't even matter anymore, enjoy your dinner." He undid his seat belt. "Why didn't you tell me we were here Emily?"

"I have been trying."

"Let's go then." He said as he exited the SUV marching up to the hospital entrance.

"What is his problem?" She asked Emily, still heated by the discussion.

"Well,-"

Before Prentiss could respond she was cut off. "I mean, yes, this guy broke my heart but that doesn't mean I have to hold a grudge forever, right? I might as well move past it, don't you think?"

"If you ask me-"

"And it was one conversation, and we're going out to dinner to finish it, there is nothing wrong with that. I don't know why he got so worked up about it, do you?"

"Yeah-"

"You know what, screw Spencer, if he wants to be a jerk for no fucking reason, let him do it. I am not going to lose sleep over it, nor am I gonna give him explanations. Who the hell does he think he is?"

"I think-"

"Yeah, you're right Emily, when Reid decides to get his shit together he can talk to me, in the meantime, we need to find out who these unsubs are before they hurt anyone else." She undid her seatbelt and opened the door, Emily still sitting there, trying to figure out what the heck had just happened. "Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah, sure." She followed suit and they both entered the hospital. Spencer was speaking to the girl's nurse as they approached, he didn't make any comments, but he also didn't acknowledge her, nor invite her into the conversation as he did to Emily. He was acting professional and doing his job, but his stance and emotions were very clear by the lack of interactions between them unless it was absolutely necessary.

As soon as Emily entered the room to interview the victim, the silence that engulfed them made her heart tighten. Spencer and she had gone past this already, they were friends, there was never a silent moment between them, and now all of that seemed to vanish in the air, all because of her decision to let Tyler Hemingway apologize.

She chose to ignore the situation until further notice. Emily was right, Spencer was being a dramatic prick and she was just gonna give him the time to realize that he was wrong. So when she got to bed, grateful for a bit of peace knowing one of the killers had been identified and was going to be caught soon, the last thing she wanted to do was have a conversation with Emily about the topic this same one had told her to not think about.

"I didn't say to just ignore it. As a matter of fact, I didn't get one sentence out during the whole drive to the hospital."

"That can't be true."

"Oh, but it was. Now I know how Reid felt when Gideon left." She fixed her shirt and continued, "well, regardless, what happened between you and Tyler, and what exactly does Dr. Genius know?"

"Spence knows pretty much everything, it kind of came with the territory." She recounted the story and this time she didn't leave any detail out, well, almost didn't leave any detail out.

Emily learned about Anna and their rivalry, Tyler and him choosing her cousin over her, the only thing she never even brought up was her dad. Only Spencer knew about it and she wanted to keep it that way. She finally landed on the weekend in question and the words she had shared with her cousin. Though that wasn't exactly what Prentiss found worrisome.

"You and Reid kissed?! Like on the lips?!" She screamed.

"Yeah, it was just so they would stop bugging us. It's not even the first time we kissed, so why is it a big deal?"

"Wait, you've kissed him before that day?"

"Yeah, at my cousin's wedding."

"Holy shit! I was not expecting that. My OTP is getting all these moments that will eventually lead to the ship sailing and I didn't even know about them!"

"Have you started talking another language by accident or something? I don't understand anything of what you just said."

"Don't worry about it. On a scale of one to ten, how good of a kisser is he?"

"Eleven." She responded immediately, "but that has nothing to do with this whole situation."

"It definitely does! Now it makes sense, Reid thinks you still have feelings for your ex, and he's jealous. He probably doesn't even know it, and he's probably trying to understand why he is so upset with you. Oh my god, he's jealous!"

"Emily, he's not jealous. Spence and I are not dating, we pretended to be a couple." She explained, thinking the woman hadn't understood her.

"Yeah, I know that, but I also know that any fake dating movie or book has always reached a point where the two main characters become unconsciously aware of their feelings. This is it! THIS IS IT!" She shook her and laughed, then suddenly came to a stop. "Oh my god, I am the best friend. I am definitely the friend that gives some wise advice that makes it click in your brain, let me think," she looked around the room as if inspiration would pop out of the bed. "I got it: get your shit together and marry Spencer." She stood and walked out the door, before fully closing it she spoke again, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk some sense into our little genius. Love you, hope I am invited to the wedding!"

Though after the break in the case they had found themselves relieved and on their way back, the nagging feeling she called Emily Prentiss kept insisting that both doctors were actually in love and that all they needed to do was kiss and become a couple. It was so constant that even when she wasn't around she could hear her echo. Like right then when she was trying to brush her hair and mentally prepare herself for whatever this dinner with Tyler was going to bring. Though she and Spencer had not yelled or continued to argue, there was nothing else left of their friendship, at least that's what it seemed like. It was as if the past months were a dream and they were just back to being coworkers, and that feeling was burning her up inside. She did not realize how important he had become in her life until he wasn't a part of it anymore.

"You look great," Tyler said as she entered the restaurant.

"Thanks, Spence helped me pick out this shirt when we went to the mall a couple of weeks ago. He said blue always looked good on me."

"That's great." The man responded, clearly uncomfortable. "So, I know you had to leave for work the other day, but I was hoping now we could talk more about what happened between us."

"Yes, of course."

She didn't really understand how she had gotten to the point of having an actual conversation with the man sitting across from her, because she had been angry at him for so long, that it never occurred to her as a possibility. He had once again apologized and given her a tale of how he had let his emotions guide him without realizing he could hurt others, and while that didn't excuse his actions, she still accepted his apology, choosing instead to move on from their current limbo. They had quickly changed the conversation, like if two old friends had reconnected after so long. Tyler was a great friend when he wanted to be, he was pleasant company, to say the least.

"And the other day, Spence was trying to learn to play the piano, and I told him there was no way he could learn in a week. So what did he do? He-"

"Stop, just stop!" He interrupted her, and she furrowed her eyebrows confused. "I have been sitting here for an hour listening to you talk about your stupid boyfriend and his IQ of 187." He rubbed his hands through his face and tried to calm down. "Was this the plan all along? You heard me tell you that I wished I hadn't ruined our relationship and decided playing with me was perfect revenge? Accepting dinner only to humiliate me by ignoring me and choosing to talk about that Spencer guy? Is he in on it or something?"

Oh. My. God.

Reid was right, this man was not looking to mend old friendships or start a new chapter, he was looking for a mistress.

"You, are the worst type of jerk I have ever met. I actually believed you wanted to be friends, to turn the page but all you wanted was to get in my pants." She stood, grabbing her drink and spilling it over him. "I hope I never see you again. Go fuck yourself Tyler." She walked, but before she exited the restaurant she returned and gave him a fake smile, "and also, Thank you for humiliating me in front of my family, you showed me how little you were and that I could do so much better. Say, an FBI agent with an IQ of 187." Once again she turned and this time she didn't even bother looking back.

The drive to her apartment was long, mostly because she didn't drive there, but to Spencer Reid's home. She felt her palms sweat, she hated admitting she was wrong, but she hated not having Spencer around much more than a bruised ego. She knocked on the door and Spencer opened, he looked confused, but as soon as he registered her in he simply raised an eyebrow and changed his confused demeanor to a completely neutral.

"I came to tell you that you were right. He just wanted to get in pants." There was no response, and she fiddled with her hands. "I actually thought he wanted to apologize, and I think part of me just wanted to believe that for the first time I was not being used, that people actually cared about what I felt."

"There are people that care about you, they are just not the wants you wanted to."

"No, they are! I thought I needed the people who wronged me to fix it, to show me that I was worth the trouble when in reality all I needed was for me to understand that I was. And I just needed a reminder that the people that care about me are the ones that should matter the most." A trace of a smile formed on his lips. "I am so sorry about how I acted, and I am sorry I left you here waiting for me. Spencer Reid, you are my best friend and you come before any other jerk out there. I need you to know that this time in which I didn't have you with me was miserable. I missed you so much I spent the whole dinner with Tyler talking about you."

"You did?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, I did. I missed you, and I hope we never fight again, I don't know what I would do without your friendship."

"I missed you too." She bit her lip, and he smiled. "Wanna come in and watch TV?"

"I would love that."

"That's good to hear, I am trying to get Spence here to watch Dance Moms with me but he refuses, maybe if there is two of us, he'll change his mind." A voice inside his apartment spoke. He opened the door to reveal Emily Prentiss wearing Pjs with The Hunger Games symbols on them. "May I say, you look hot. Blue suits you."

"So I've been told."

"Are you sure you can handle being in that close all night though? Maybe Spencer can lend you one of his shirts." She said, winking at them.

"Has she been drinking?"

"It's her third bottle of wine."

"We need to cut her off."

"Yeah, we do." He smiled at her, "She's right though, if you want to borrow something more comfortable let me know."

"Careful Spencer Reid, I might take you up on that."

"Awwww, YOU TWO ARE ADORABLE!" The woman screamed. "Just get married already!"

The pair laughed and made their way to the sofa, she closed the door behind her and sat down, feeling whole for the first time this week. Emily and Spencer were the best friends a girl could ask for, and she couldn't think of a better way to spend the rest of her night than watching trash TV with the two of them as they laughed and joked.

It was home.

#spencer x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #cm

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wallofweird · 4 years

Note

hi fae, how do you feel about people saying that kevin only tolerates madison bc of kate and therefore they won't work? :/

Hi! Well, I think these people are definitely not watching This Is Us (or any type of television, for that matter) or living on Earth. Or seeing and unseeing things according to their pre-established opinions. Either way, that’s absolutely not true. On most of their interactions Kevin is polite, as you can see it here:

I love this part because there are at least three other guests closer to him but she is the first person he offers a glass of champagne... If you pay attention to the scene, he is holding THREE glasses. He gives one to Madison and he puts another on a shelf, I don’t know about the third, but there were definitely more women in the room that could’ve had that(those) glass(es), he just didn’t care, lol. Also, Rebecca is looking and smiling at him, but he doesn’t even notice it because he is too busy looking at Madi... I mean, another direction.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)

Kevin doesn’t look very happy with the idea of dancing and still he doesn’t protest.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference

This gif doesn’t show it, but he turns his head and watches Madison as she walks away just like on gif number 4.

Siding with her during a conversation with Kate.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)

Comforting Madison.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/618991372262916096/kevin-looking-at-madison-nothing-but-blue-skies

He isn’t smiling here, but does this seem to be a person that is annoyed with the other? He has soft, delicate, gentle eyes while looking at her.

And this whole thing about Kevin despising Madison and only tolerating her because of Kate is even more ridiculous because on this scene he is basically begging her to invite him to come inside.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference

If he thought her company was so unpleasant, why would he accept it in the first place? He could’ve left and gone to Rebecca’s house instead, or come back after Toby got back from work, he could’ve called Randall, or Nicky, or simply gone somewhere else to make new friends because it’s not like struggles when he socializes with strangers.

And here is what Madison had to say about her night with him:

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/617836054621339648/do-you-want-to-know-why-i-think-i-slept-with

He made her feel comfortable enough to be her true self and he ended up spending at least a few hours with Madison. He spent the night at her place and only left the next morning... If her presence were so repellent, why didn’t he leave after the sex? Madison didn’t point a gun at him and forced him to stay. Even after he woke up, he kept lying next to her on the bed without a shirt on... Plus, there was the option of leaving without saying anything while she was asleep, but he didn’t do that.

Actually, the only time I believe Kevin was rude to her was at the hospital, but you have to analyze the context: his sister went into early labor, there was an endless list of possible complications to the baby and herself, it took hours until Kevin got some information, Kevin had been drinking, he was dealing with his failed attempt to connect with his uncle, the frustration of having relapsed after an entire year of being sober, feeling guilty for lying to everyone about it and the fear of losing Zoe because of those lies. He was going through A LOT. Those were probably some of the hardest hours of his life. Yet, at first he treated her just fine, it was the fact she wouldn’t stop talking (because that’s the way she was coping with the situation and usually what he does too when he’s sober, btw) that he said those things to her. Now, I don’t drink, but as far as I know people on hangover usually have headaches so it’s not weird that they will avoid noises and I remember Kevin saying a few minutes before that he was on hangover.

I also remember that he immediately regretted it and apologized to Madison, but she didn’t listen and left (I don’t blame her). And when she walked away he was hit by a dose of consciousness and realized his was being “an ass” and apologized to his family. She wasn’t the only one, he was snapping at everybody, because it wasn’t Madison, Randall or anyone else that was annoying him. It wasn’t personal. It was the stress of the entire situation that was making Kevin take it out on everybody. Plus, even though he didn’t specifically snap at Zoe, when he went outside to get some air and clear his head, she offered him company and Kevin shut her out.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/618572824853069824/im-sorry-what-exactly-are-you-doing-here

By the way, Kevin bumped into Madison when he was getting out of the elevator and attempted to apologize for a second time.

Another scene people use as an ‘example’ of rudeness is this moment on the season finale, but I sincerely disagree. Here’s why:

Kevin was in the middle of a heated fight with his brother and that was almost getting physical when Madison arrived for the party.

And when she showed up at the door he just told her the truth: it wasn’t a good time.

Now, does that look like an angry, utterly annoyed and disdainful face for you? Because the way I see it, it’s just a guy who’s weary and not in his best state of mind, which is comprehensible since he was in a middle of an argument, his mother’s health is deteriorating, Randall had talked her into doing a clinical trial in the other side of the country despite her previous refusal and that’s just SOME of the heavy stuff he was dealing with at that specific moment.

However, Madison doesn’t bother and enters the place anyway.

And Kevin doesn’t yell at her, protest or leaves, he just lets her in and closes the door.

Again: does this look like he hates Madison so much like some people make it seem?

THIS is being annoyed and/or angry:

CREDIT: https://rostovarps.tumblr.com/post/165520445651/kevin-pearson-in-this-is-us-01x07-the-best

CREDIT: https://adyadintheforce.tumblr.com/post/177326964546/shame-on-all-of-us

And this is just being upset, tired, feeling like all your energy has been drained out of your body:

If you watch the scene, his face on the picture above and on this gif has identical expressions:

CREDIT: https://ltbelanna.tumblr.com/post/189147462109/this-is-us-4x08-sorry-im-sorry-me-too-see

And really, how did these people expect him to react? Did they expect him to smile, kiss her and propose a second round of hookup? His reaction made perfect sense to everything that was happening at the time.

Do they believe things would’ve been different if it had been someone else at the door, like Kate’s neighbor Gregory or somebody from her support group? Do they think that if it had been another person he would’ve hugged them, offer coffee and crack jokes? That the problem was Madison and not the situation he was in with Randall and Rebecca?

Anywaaaay, by the end of their conversation he had already softened up and was even slightly smiling at her.

CREDIT: https://millennial-mess.tumblr.com/post/613565105725194240/im-so-sick-of-chasing-ghosts-im-tired-of

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/620438418688704513/you-da-best

Sure, it wan’t a wide smile because it wasn’t like his problems had disappeared all of a sudden, but he had found a silver lining in the midst of everything.

And being exhausted, upset, annoyed, stressed or angry is part of the human experience and part of being in a relationship of ANY KIND: romantic, platonic, familial. Taking it out on someone can happen sometimes as well. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. People are not perfect. People are not robots. They navigate through negative feelings and emotions too. It’s how things are in real life and also how things are on television, specially on This Is Us, which is a show that focuses on relationships and emotions.

Jack and Rebecca, Beth and Randall, Kate and Toby, Randall and Kevin, Kevin and Kate, Nicky and Kevin, Kevin and Sophie, William and Randall, Kevin and Cassidy all had moments like this... The list goes on. Would the same people define these relationships/friendships as unsuccessful and fake because of a few unfriendly moments? I doubt it, because what really defines a relationship as healthy and successful is the people’s ability to recognize their own mistakes, forgive each other, work on themselves as individuals and as friends/a couple/a family and getting even closer and stronger after facing the hardships. It’s not smiling, talking, hugging and kissing 24/7 because nobody does that. Maybe for a few days and weeks, but you won’t last even a month behaving like this, let alone YEARS.

And the complications are also what keep the story interesting and engaging. I don’t mean something like toxicity and abuse, but if couples, relatives and friends don’t disagree, argue and face problems out and within their relationship, the show doesn’t go anywhere. There must be conflict. There must be drama. And there must be happiness. It’s about balancing these aspects out.

If they want to watch something that’s always sunshine and rainbows and where the characters are always happy, they should watch a TV show targeted to three-year-old children, because honestly This Is Us has never been and will never be this kind of show.

And we know Kevin has a pregnant fiancee on season 5 and since This Is Us is not a soap opera, I seriously doubt Kevin will go out there impregnating multiple women with multiple children and multiple sets of twins. I reckon it’s safe to say it’s Madison. That means they will go through one of the most amazing and yet vulnerable and challenging experiences two people can ever face and instead of pulling them apart, it will only bring them closer to the point they will get engaged. For me, this sounds like a relationship that is DEFINITELY WORKING.

#kevin pearson #kevison #this is us #sorry I didn't have gifs for everything and this is long lol #anon

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thethoughtsfromthreeam · 4 years

Text

California

Pairing: Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels x OC

Warnings: Torture

A/N: This story is consuming me. I’m currently just starting Chapter 14, so that means if I keep my schedule the way I am, y’all gonna have this for the next month. Also, I have been having a lot of fun with the Agent/Non-Agent/Admin Staff code name stuff. Maybe a little TOO much fun.

Reminder: I haven’t seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle, so I’m just using the Wikia, IMDB.com, some gifs, and my own weird ass brain to make up this whole ass story.

Tag List: @zeldasayer , @romanticgumchewer, @tarrevizslas , @coolmaybelateruniverse , @the-feckless-wonder, @lavenderl3mons , @pascalisthepunkest [please message me to be added or subtracted]

[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3]

Part 4

Gone

In the wee hours of the morning, Ginger ran through the halls of HQ and jumped into the elevator, willing the damn thing to hurry up. When it finally dropped her off on the eighth floor, she rushed down the hall to Jack’s apartment, using her master key to open the door. When she ran into his room, she started calling his name.

“Whiskey! You have got to get up! GET UP NOW!” She was practically screaming in her panic and she shoved at his shoulder. The sudden noise startled Jack and he shot straight up in bed as if he had been launched by some unseen force. When he turned to Ginger, confusion mixed with a little irritation sprang up on his face.

“What in the hell, Ging? It’s what? 3:00 a.m.? What the hell are you doing in my house?”

“No, it’s 5:00 a.m., but that doesn’t matter, you have got to come with me!” She was pulling his arm and he was forced to throw his legs over the edge of the bed, thanking the lord he was wearing pants for once. He stood up and Ginger grabbed his hands and kept pulling. But he wasn’t taking another step until he got an answer.

“GINGER!” He shouted and she stopped when he put his hands on her upper arms. “What in the damnation is going on?!”

“Its Sirah! She’s gone! She’s gone! Oh god, Whiskey, she’s gone!” Her tears started up again and a small part of her was ashamed at her behavior. But her best friend was missing, possibly dead, and the hole in her heart ached terribly. She wanted her back.

Jack yanked his hands from her arms and stumbled back. Ginger’s words stole his breath and he wasn’t sure if his heart was even beating anymore. He had been punched in the gut thousands of times, but not even one felt as terrible as this did. Without a second thought, he ran from his apartment and he could hear Ginger running after him.

He made a left in the hall and headed for the stairs – the elevator was going to be too slow – and taking steps two and three at a time, he ran down to the fifth floor. A few times he stumbled but caught himself with Ginger’s loud gasp ringing in his ears.

When they made it down, he slammed open the door and headed right for the board room, passing agents and staff who stopped and stared. The normally put together Agent Whiskey looked a damn mess. When he ran into the room, he noticed that Tequila and Champ were already there, flanked by two other agents. Normally one for manners, Jack ignore them in his haste.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GONE?!” He bit back the rest of his comment when he realized he was yelling. He took a deep breath and then a second when he felt Ginger’s hand on his forearm. He had to get himself together if he was going to save her. He had to listen.

“Whiskey, well over four days ago the safe house West Coast was using on the California case was blown up. The tracking devices confirmed that Malbec and Sirah were the only agents in the house at the time and since the explosion, Sirah’s device has been silent. West Coast dispatched agents immediately and they found Malbec dead from a single gunshot wound to the head. Sirah was nowhere to be found.” Champ struggled to speak as he gripped the back of his chair until his knuckles were white. She had been gone almost five days and West Coast just notified HQ on the situation. He wasn’t sure what was driving him more now, his grief or his anger.

Like Whiskey, he took several deep breaths to remain professional and to get through this, but it was damned hard. All three men had grown fond of Sirah in their own way – Tequila felt brotherly affection, Champ saw her as a daughter, and Jack. . . . Well, Jack loved the hell out of her.

“We found Agent Sherry dead, also from a gunshot wound. Same gun was used in both shootings.” Tequila added. “Everything at the house and in Sherry’s car was destroyed, by fire for the former and by a person for the latter. Evidence shows that both women left the house with files and paperwork, but nothing was found on the scene when agents arrived.”

Both HQ and West Coast believed that the suspect in the California case was behind all of this because reports from the three agents indicated they were narrowing their list and were close to identifying them. But without all the new information from this phase of the case, any chance they had of finding Sirah in time was slim. The room grew heavy with negative thoughts until Ginger gasped. They turned to look at her.

“No, not nothing. . .“ She turned on her heel and started towards the door. “Sirah uploaded reports and some additional stuff to a database every other day like clockwork. It’s not everything since they couldn’t completely secure the safe house, the rest of it she kept on a microdrive.

“She’s always been so regular about it, I’ll admit I stopped checking her reports about a week ago, just having Kefir process them directly. But I bet everyone one of you that he has everything organized and we can start from there!”

She ran from the room and the rest of the agents followed her. Tech specialist Chai jumped a mile in her chair at the sudden explosion of noise and people in the office. Without a word, Ginger sat at her computer and let her fingers fly across the keyboard. Multiple file windows opened and her eyes darted left to right as she read the dates on the screen. Tequila was right behind her doing the same thing when he spotted the most recent date.

“There!” He pointed, “wait, it says she last uploaded information last night!” Ginger clicked on the file and opened the report. It was sparse and contain no attachments like her others had. Together, Ginger and Tequila skimmed the writings before he stood backwards with his mouth agape. Jack and Champ looked at him curiously.

“I don’t think Sirah wrote this and I don’t think she uploaded it. There is something about this that don’t sound like her at all.” Tequila leaned back down and read the entry again and he looked at Ginger, who nodded in confirmation. “Yep, someone’s fucked with this. I don’t know if they did anything to the rest of her reports, but someone’s trying to throw us off her scent.”

Chai spoke up suddenly, “All her old notes through five days ago were printed out for physical records by Kefir. He would process them weekly, so we have her originals.” She pointed at the box sitting on the specialist’s desk. Tequila walked over and grabbed it.

“Chai, call Saki, Toddy, and Pisco. I don’t care if you wake their asses up, I want them down here immediately.” The even tone Tequila normally sported was replaced with a hard glint and he looked at Champ and Jack with a single question in his eyes.

Champ squared his shoulders; his agent was out there, and he was going to find out who took her and kick their ever-loving ass from the Sierras to the Blue Ridge. He looked at Tequila and Jack and both nodded back to him. They were heading to California.

---***---

Sirah woke up groggy, barely able to see anything through her swollen eyes. The shackles binding her wrists dug deeply into her skin as she moved, and she struggled to open her mouth it was so dry. Suddenly she was drenched in water and she gasped loudly before crying out from the pain jolting through her body as she jerked forward. It was almost too much to handle.

“Where is it, agent?” The voice was back. She wasn’t sure how long she had been where she was, but she knew in between her bouts of unconsciousness that his voice was always there. She struggled to stay awake, to listen, but the fight was so hard. If she could just sleep a little longer. . .

A fist suddenly slammed into her face and she could feel the back of her skull crack against the wall.

“WAKE UP!” The voice screamed. Her head lolled forward in response and he grabbed her chin, yanking her head upwards. “Fucking tell me where the microdrive is at and I’ll let you go.”

Even through the fogginess of her brain, she knew he was lying. She shook her head and croaked, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Like hell you do, you stupid bitch. You’re going to tell me where the hell that goddamn drive is at and then I’m going to kill you like I did that bitch Malbec.” When she didn’t respond, her captor drew his leg back and kicked her in the ribs. Her breath and the voice both left her. Before she could even recover from the most recent abuse, hands began to take the shackles off her wrists. She felt herself being picked up and dragged away to another location.

They entered a room with a blinding single light and a long table. They threw her down on the hard surface and handcuffed her legs and arms to the edge. She couldn’t help the whimper that escape her mouth as searing pain shot down her leg and throughout her back. She didn’t want to show weakness, but whatever grasp she had on her actions was weakening.

“Now, Sirah, tell me where the microdrive is at. I’m done playing around with you.” The small part of Sirah that hadn’t given into the circumstances suddenly rose to the surface.

“Oh, we were having fun? I hadn’t noticed.” Her voice held a smirk even if her face didn’t. If she was going to die, then so be it. At this point, death would be a welcomed end to this ordeal. The voice didn’t respond but she heard the snap of fingers. Suddenly, her face was covered in cloth and before she could react, water was being poured on her head. She was so weak she could bare fight back. When her captor realized this, he demanded the procedure to stop.

“Take her back, I’ll find another way to get it out of her. Besides, it’s no fun if they just sit there and take it. Torture should be fun.” He laughed and she could hear the cruelty in his voice. The cloth was removed and so were the handcuffs. She felt herself being dragged back to wherever they were holding her and suddenly, one of the captors stumbled as they entered her jail cell. They nearly dropped her, and the jarring movement brought fresh waves of pain. She was once again shackled to the wall. She smiled wryly over that. She can’t even move, what was the point?

#agent whiskey #jack daniels #pedro pascal #kingsman: the golden circle #fanfic #agent whiskey x oc #agent whiskey x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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anneboleyns · 5 years

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I saw the downton abbey movie so now here’s kind of a rambling personal essay, under a cut for spoilers for the downton abbey movie. downton abbey movie spoilers ahead.

once again SPOILERS AHEAD also tw for death, grief, suicide attempts/etc mention.

so, i know probably no one cares but considering how active i was in this fandom and how incredibly important this show and the character of thomas was to me personally, i’m just gonna sit here and write my thoughts about thomas barrow, the show, the movie, what it meant to me, and my critique overall

so basically i always loved the show and thomas but it really took off 2 yrs ago during 2017.

i had just moved out of my mother’s house and i had just finished a rewatch of the show, i remember this so clearly lol it was september 2017 the rewatch had started like june 2017. and i remember when i got to my new apartment one of the “comfort shows” i would put on on my very own tv in my very own apartment was “downton abbey”. i believe the other that was regularly tossed on in the background was “the tudors”, obviously lol

anyways, i was so hyper obsessed. i had also JUST discovered that thomas and jimmy were legitimately shipped in this fandom. i had no idea that was a real thing when i watched it live. and i had never cared about jimmy or thought of them as an actual viable relationship. but with this rewatch they just hit different i guess. i spent hours and hours and hours at my mother’s house before the move (which was an EXTREMELY tense living situation, the month or so right before i left. i’m not getting into all of it now. if you followed me back then you know) watching this show like properly sitting and watching an episode with my sister, and then capping for gifs, which if you make gifs you know is basically spending possibly 3 or 4 hours with the same episode. like it can take that long for me personally to go through it and cap everything i want, then, sorting the caps into folders, especially if i’d capped more than one episode. completely mesmerized with the smallest details, hand and facial movements i specifically wanted to gif or be in a set, clothing movements, emotional moments, like i was just so into all aspects of the show and wanted to gif everything. my fav 4 are thomas, sybil, mary, and tom. i also adore edith and it may be a “fav 5″ now as i think i just love all of those characters equally. so i pretty much giffed every single fucking scene they were in lol. unless they were “ugly scenes” that i knew i could never make work in photoshop. sometimes i would cap it anyway and sort it anyway and open it up anyway and try but would end up deleting all the caps for that set. so all the gifs i have posted, is not even all the ones i capped. anyway

okay and then, there’s the fanfic. reading it, rereading, and writing it. it took me 2 years but i actually read close to every single thomas/jimmy fanfic on a03. at some point i only started opening complete fanfics because i got burned too many times on abandoned slow burns, and if a fic wasn’t my thing i would obviously not finish it. but definitely hundreds of works i read, saved to my phone and reread in google books. works i would think about all day.

so, june 2017 i start the rewatch. i also start planning to move out of my mother’s. a toxic tense living situation. in the past i have used harsher words like “abusive”. i can’t really use that word and apply it to my mother right now even though it is accurate. it hurts to think about. i can’t think about it. september 2017 i actually move.

the hyperfixation is in full swing. hours every night reading. reading 50k word fanfics in a single night. hours every day (or, week, i have a fulltime job) capping and coloring frames in photoshop. eventually i started writing fanfic for them as well.

so, in november 2017 my mother is hospitalized. this was not an unusal occurence. in february 2018 they tell us she’s going to die. 12 days later she died.

i’m not gonna really get into what happened to my mental state. it’s uh. bad. guilt. self hatred. like hatred isn’t even a strong enough word. i wanted to annihilate myself. i believed i deserved to be annihilated. that’s the only word violent enough i can think of to describe the depth of it. suicidal. etc. whatever.

but! i had this piece of fiction, this series, and assorted fan works. it really intensified after this. i can look back at this time last year and i remember how obsessed i was lol.

when i try to articulate what this character and show means to me, i always feel really embarrassed. at some point when i’m talking about thomas it becomes obvious i am talking about myself as well. but i’m gonna really try and objectively talk about my opinion on thomas and why i adore him and why i want what i want for him. it’s probably gonna be obvious i am also talking about myself but. anyway.

here’s the “meta” “opinion on the fictional characters” section.

thomas barrow starts the show as an antagonist. he’s rude, could even be called cruel. a bully, snide, dishonest when it suits him and honest when it hurts him. like, he’s an asshole. what he said about william’s mom. how he treated baxter. his ambition and the underhanded things he does to serve it. overall proud demeanor designed to make those around him feel lesser. feel less able to hurt him. he wants the people around him to feel like they should not hurt him. i think he might be unaware that that is his motivation. because even as he’s afraid of everyone, he craves everyone as well. he’s alone, outside, and he’s been shoved there, constantly, he’s been shoved there politely and he’s been shoved there violently and if they’re gonna shove him here outside, away from them, unfixably different from them, unworthy of them, then he will stay there. like, the meanness and the comments and the attitude. he’s already Not Like The Others. if they already don’t like him, he will make it even harder for them to like him. unless, he can get somewhere safer, which is where his motivation comes in.

i just really view thomas as a character that craves safety.

he wants others to not hurt him. he wants to get from where he is to somewhere safer, somewhere up there, where it’s even less likely for people to be able to hurt him.

so, his motivations: safety, and then, there’s love.

he constantly has this world and these people implicitly and explicitly telling him he cannot love or be loved. it’s not right, it’s not natural, best case scenario is it doesn’t even exist- he’s confused, he’s sick, he’s broken, maybe they can fix it. he’s on the outside, remember, and he just gets to watch thru the window as the others dance and fall in love and have friends and family and be cherished. he can have none of it. this is a really old story that could be told by better people and in a better way.

the loves we get to see him have all have teeth. he’s betrayed by one lover and then abandoned, someone he obviously had feelings for but also betrayed first. then we get a probably one-sided attraction, but still a friend, still someone he can actually be vulnerable with since they’re helplessly vulnerable with him as well due to the circumstances. who kills himself. and then there’s the shameless, stupid hope that almost costs him everything, but he does get a friend in the balance.

he finds a friend in baxter, another character i just adore, because she gives to thomas what he needs even though he objectively does not deserve it, at least not from her, who he has terrorized. baxter’s trauma from her abusive relationship with coyle that thomas knows and uses, the impossible situation thomas places her in, the manipulation, the bullying, some would even term his behavior abusive. baxter would have had every right to ignore thomas, to get him fired, to hurt him back. but she loves him instead. she loves him in spite of. she loves him because. she helps him, she speaks to him softly and kindly. she tells him he’s brave. she remembers him as a child. this especially touches me. the idea of thomas as a child, someone who must have been different from who he is now, and she knows them both and loves him. she looks at the grown, hurt, cruel man in front of her and she speaks to the boy she once knew, and thomas listens. slowly. but he listens. AND she tries to give him advice for finding a lover, supporting and encouraging something the rest of the entire fucking series despises or ignores.

i don’t have enough energy to really go off but, baxter is supreme. i need a baxter.

thomas clearly cannot form self esteem in the environment he lives in. the ground is dead. he can’t grow it himself. he has this ironclad sense that he deserves what the others have, the ones on the inside. it’s immovable. he deserves it, they have no right to keep it from him. maybe he’ll never, ever get it, but in his mind, in his heart, he will never stop believing he deserves it. they tell him he’s nothing, he’s dirt, he’s wrong, and he just nods and keeps walking. they can think that. they can say that. he can’t stop them. but he will not stop working for the future he wants. he will not stop until they have no choice but to let him inside.

but he wants, i think, for them to invite him inside. but he’ll never admit it, and he’ll never ask for it, and he’ll never get it anyway.

so, he tries to change himself. maybe they’ll invite him in then? no.

then, his attempts to form friendships get twisted, and aborted, and he gets tired stereotypical accusations thrown on him.

then, he tries to kill himself in a bathtub with a razor.

then, he leaves his home and spends his days bored and unchallenged and away from all of the friends and half-friends he had.

then, he’s invited back. he’s invited inside!!!! you might say. and yeah i guess. as close as they’ll ever let him. but part of him always ignored and not commented on. part of him always raised eyebrows at i’m sure. and yes, his bad behavior is also to blame for this. but see, the 2 are linked. and you can’t unlink them.

by the end of the show the others still largely tiptoe around him. but due to his now somewhat subdued behavior he’s “likable” now.

i think it’s quite a choice to have this character who is completely sharp edges have them worn away by heartbreak, torture, injury, suicide attempt, ostracisation, abandonment, and present that as a victory, as a happy ending. but guess what? it is. and i’ll take it. he was back among his friends, back home, accepted, celebrating with everyone else, and i adored it, even as the jarring notes i heard in it won’t ever fade from my opinion of it.

anyway, in the aftermath of my grief i fell heavily into this story and the many stories of thomas finding love and safety. and healing, and friends, and peace. lots different from each other and lots the same. again, i relate very strongly to this character. i was not in a mindset where i was able to be kind to myself. or think sympathetically about myself. i think i fixated so much on this character, became obsessed with finding stories where he gets told and he experiences all the things i think i wanted to be told and i wanted to experience. i couldn’t accept it, even the concept, directly. but i devoured and absorbed a billion pixels of a character very similar to me accepting it. it’s the closest the concept could have gotten to me and i’m embarrassed i only recently realized this link and that that was what i was doing considering it is obvious, and common, and normal. maybe not “healthy” but like. let’s not get into healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms rn bec i promise you the fanfic and the fiction fixation is not even at the top of the list lol

FAST FORWARD it’s september 2019. the movie is in theaters.

my mom is still dead. but. a lot has happened to me. i have happened to some people. i’ve been thru some more things now. dipped my toes and eventually completely submerged and perhaps am drowning in the entire Romance/Love/Sex section of human experience. again, let’s not get into it. but it’s a LOT.

i don’t quite have the same relationship with fiction and fanfiction as i used to. it’s been only 2 years since leaving my mother’s house, but i feel as though galaxies could fit in between the girl back there and the one here. but they’re the same! i’m working on understanding that.

i love this character and this show so much. i loved the film. there are problems- the writing and plotting is not nearly as neat and crisp and sharp. it’s more smooth, almost to a loss of definition, and instead of quick-wit it feels just... fast. there’s no time to really dive in in a film, so i’ll forgive all that, but it’s a flaw that should be mentioned. but it’s not a flaw that prevents joy in the film. i was overjoyed watching it. the things i wanted for thomas all happened. all the characters and relationships were... smoothed, i can’t describe it any other way. i feel like the bumps and corners and quirks and hidden pockets of them were just smoothed away. we know they’re there because we watched the show, but the film doesn’t- can’t- show them all.

it was frustrating for me to see thomas smoothed in this way, but also satisfying, because while he absolutely one of a kind, unique, damaged, and layered, and contradictory, really a marvelous character and well-built... he is just like everyone else. and i think he would love and hate that and i love and hate that about myself.

for this reason, i really enjoyed a scene where he refuses to help carson. carson is flustered and overworked, in a crisis, and asks barrow for help, and thomas refuses, with a smile. i adored it. carson is one of thomas’ worst ... opponents, i could say. carson hurls homophobic abuse at and about thomas several times during the series, casts aspersions on him in the film as well, and he can choke. i love that even though towards the end of the show and yes during the rest of the film thomas’ sharp edges got smoothed away, but they put this one in and it catches you right on the bone how it should- an older woman in my theater actually gasped, offended, when thomas refused to help and carson was left to flounder. i, on the other hand, thought, “that’s my boy,” and leaned back in my seat satisfied. it might be my fav moment in the film. surprising considering the AMAZING joy and tenderness thomas gets to experience in the movie (but, i think that’s just my taste right now due to a personal heartbreak i won’t get into). like, they shoved him outside, carson shoved him outside, outside the realm of normal, and this is a moment of carson needing his help and thomas going, “no, remember how you used to treat me? remember how you secretly think of me? i do. i won’t forget. good luck! bye!” and then goes on to have a terrible wonderful adventure, while someone funny and kind finally falls in love with him, he gets to stand up for himself to the crawleys in the beginning of the film as well and i just felt elated watching that scene.

i could probably write essays about the love and romance portion of his storyline in the movie. but i’m just not in the headspace to do that right now super in depth but.

i’m also annoyed he had to experience yet ANOTHER homophobic plotline. he goes out to a gay club for literally The First Time and gets arrested and called a dirty pervert. i remember this being my exact fear for the movie. like “imagine if thomas goes to a gay club and gets arrested? that would suck!!!” and that is exactly what happens. but at least it’s so quick, i genuinely think that entire plot is like 6 short scenes max. why is julian fellowes obsessed with having this character, the ONE main queer character, suffer solely because he is gay? experience so many gay-specific agonies, the depths of which i just really doubt he, fellowes, can understand. it’s really, really, disappointing. but consistent as the show did this as well. smh. at least he gets out, and his lover, richard, goes to bat for him in this movie TWICE!!!!! and stares at him with stars in his eyes, soft and enamoured? while thomas is oblivious?? I’VE READ THIS FIC BEFORE!!!! so yes that was VERY cute and all i ever fucking wanted

it’s just funny how fiction touches us differently depending on what we’re going through, especially for those of us that were lonely, neglected, children, ones who grew up with favorite characters instead of friends. i might be more “normal” i might be more “sociable” i might have more “life experience” than i used to but this fangirl inside is just not going anywhere.

this was just a ramble, i wrote it with no point in mind and i’m not rereading or editing it lol. enjoy this vague update into my life/movie review/character meta lol

#personal #i wrote this #downton abbey #thomas barrow #spoilers #death tw #suicide tw #tp

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callioope · 5 years

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Questions Meme!

Hello, yes, this HAS in fact been sitting in my drafts for ages and ages. Thank you to both @crazy-fruit and @ruby-red-inky-blue for tagging me and for waiting forever for me to answer (oops)! I’m sorry I took so long, but y’all ask really good questions and I had to think about some of them!

Question Set 1

1. How are you?

Oh, I’m doing alright! Thank you for asking. The earlier part of this year was rather rough, but therapy has been helping. I’ve been rather busy these past few weeks with traveling, and my schedule going forward is rather busy, too, so while I’m excited for those things, I’m also excited for the eventual moment I can just relax.

2. What would you say are your talents?

Writing. Making fancy color-coded spreadsheets. I’ve been told that my super power is getting random (annoying) songs stuck in other people’s heads. Does that count as a talent?

3. If you had the chance to start your life again, would you take it?

NOPE. No thanks. I like where I am at right now, and I would not want to relive my awkward years. Er, at least, my more awkward, younger years. Cuz I’m totally still awkward. Just less awkward. I hope?

4. Which language would you like to speak instantly?

HMM. ALL OF THEM. It’s really hard to choose!

Language fascinates me, and in another life I feel like I would have devoted a lot more time to learning more of them. Unfortunately, I really hated German class in high school because of the teacher’s tendency to put people on the spot -- I think that is sort of inherent in a language class, but I get anxiety speaking in public.

Anyways, I suppose I’ll answer Turkish to this question, since spouse and I keep saying we’re going to try to learn Turkish via Duolingo. For the record, my HS offered six languages, which was the most I’ve ever heard of an American school offering, and I was always quite happy with my choice of German. (The others were Spanish, French, Italian, Chinese, and Latin.) I do wish I had maintained my German better, and I that I had more time to learn Spanish.

5. Where would you like to be right now?

Honestly? I’m pretty happy when I’m at home. But if I had to answer where “else” would I like to be right now, out of the whole world? Being back on safari in Botswana is a top contender, as are a variety of places in Turkey, and also Munich.

6. What name would you give yourself?

I’ve always liked my actual name (Elizabeth). I know I go by Liz; one of my HS friends was quite stubborn and I’m a bit stuck with it now, but I don’t mind it. There are worse nicknames that come from Elizabeth. I used to go by Fiona online; I’ve always been fond of that one.

7. What is something you’re currently learning?

OOF, what a good question. I sorta blanked on this at first, and my first thought was uhhhh learning how to cope with my OCD??? I’m doing exposure therapy right now, ish. Emphasis on the ish. Also mindfulness. Does that really even count? I started a beginner’s knitting project several months ago that I never finished, does that count? (I just need to seam it, that’s what I’m putting off. I have knit plenty of scarves; however, this is my first hat.) I’m sort of teaching myself ukulele although I haven’t really learned any new chords or songs in awhile. I would very much like to take more photography classes with a focus on wildlife photography. That involves buying a new camera and... signing up for classes.

Question Set 2

1. What is a detail in a piece of art/a text that you like that you really admire?

This was very difficult, at first because it was like looking at a bin full of loose things and just seeing an assortment of color and being overwhelmed by it all, and then because once I did start digging around, I kept finding different ideas and it was too hard too choose.

Character-building: In the A Song of Ice and Fire series, when Arya starts working for the House of Black and White, Martin stops using the name “Arya” as she dons different identities. For example, he uses “Cat” for a bit, among other names. It shows she’s trying to be someone else, but the caveat is that there are still little mannerisms and such that show she hasn’t really left Arya behind (I think maybe she bites her lip or something? I don’t remember specific examples because it’s been over 5 years since I read these books, but I do remember really appreciating the general technique at the time).

Music: In The Beatles’ “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” I love those repeated arpeggios, over and over, building, intensifying, as the white noise comes in and you can just feel the heaviness of desire, of want... (and then I love how it just breaks so suddenly! And I know it wouldn’t have been intended this way because that’s the end of side one, but since I listen to the whole album on spotify, then those bright chords of “Here Comes the Sun” come in and god Abbey Road is the best Beatles album)

Writing: the poetry of Florence + The Machine’s “All This and Heaven Too,” obviously, since literally the title of my blog comes from that. I’d quote that whole song honestly. There’s something that speaks to me about the incapability of language to fully encompass just... everything. I mean, love in specific here, but also just everything. Words are just these little boats we put meaning on and we hope they make it to the other side but everyone takes ‘em a little differently.

Like, look at this:

And the words are all escaping, and coming back all damaged And I would put them back in poetry if I only knew how

And this:

Words were never so useful So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before

Anyways, there’s also something just incredibly soothing about the music, too, and how she sings the song. There’s another line, from Sara Bareilles’ “Miss Simone” that goes “How does she know what a heart sounds like?” which pretty much sums up how I feel about “All This and Heaven Too” (and also many of Sara Bareilles’ song, especially that particular album, but I digress).

Anyways I did have some art examples, but I think I’ve rambled long enough.

2. Is there an idea that you really liked but had to discard because you couldn’t get it to work?

If I really like an idea, I don’t really “discard” it so much as put it on the shelf to attempt later. Out of recent fic ideas, I’ve really struggled with “How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days.” I first thought of this in late spring 2017, and for awhile I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but I was working on Whatever I Do at the time, and wanted to wait before starting another WIP. By the time I got to writing this, the inspiration well had sort of dried up.

I really like the idea of a fun cat-and-mouse rom-com idea where Jyn and Cassian keep outsmarting each other, with a whole lot of competency kink, some “oh shit we actually work well together!” and maybe some battle couple. And I was really looking forward to both the moment when they both finally let their guards down around each other and the big confrontation when they actually find out each other’s identities. But it involved more mission writing than I was prepared for, and I really struggled with it. I think I need to start over but that involves a lot of working, so it’s unfortunately shelved for now, and I’m working on a “You’ve Got Mail” concept instead.

3. Is there something fandom-related you would like to be able to do (i.e. I’d like to be able to make gif sets but can’t)?

Oh, yes, absolutely! Really anything that’s not writing related, lol. Gif sets, art, etc. But most of all, I have a music video idea for the song “So Close” from Enchanted--like I have a whole story board plotted out in a google doc. But I don’t have any video editing software, don’t even know how you get the scenes for a music video, etc. I have made videos before, but not since high school, and I don’t even have the cheap, basic video editing program I used back then. Sometimes I think I should just attempt make a gif set instead, but there are so many lyrics! and scenes that go with the lyrics! that I don’t know how to consolidate it into that format anyways.

4. What is a skill you’ve acquired through fandom work?

Hmm, this was tough. I’m going to say HTML. I’m not up-to-date on webdesign at all, but back in my early fandom days, I ran a few fansites. I still sometimes use HTML while leaving comments or to edit posts on dreamwidth or w/e. It’s super basic, but it has helped me at work at a variety of jobs. I take it for granted that people my age should know basic HTML, but a lot of them don’t, and then a lot of people I work with now are older and definitely not tech savvy.

5. Do you think anyone can learn to create great art, or does it take talent?

Well, I’m going to cheat a little. I do think think that anyone can learn to create great art, but I also think that everyone has a talent at something, and part of learning to create great art is recognizing your skill sets and honing those. If that makes sense? I’ve sort of seen both sides to this. I’ve seen naturally talented people create great things, but I also think that they’re probably cheating themselves if they’re not learning and honing their craft and trying to get better. But I’ve also seen people who started out making things that maybe you wouldn’t call great, but they worked hard over and over again, and looking at their work now, you’d say they were talented without ever knowing the difference. Great art = talent + learning + passion. Did that even answer the question? ...moving on

6. Do you prefer AUs or in-universe? Why?

I prefer to write in-universe, for sure. I find modern AUs more challenging, mostly because--and I feel kinda bad saying this--it’s very difficult for me to tap into Jyn and Cassian’s characters without some kind of tragic background. Their experiences and how they coped with them shape their personalities, and it’s really hard to separate them from those. My WWII was easier because, hey, it’s war, not so different from in-verse. But I initially tried to write Learning Curve in a modern AU and I was just totally bored. Putting it in universe made it more interesting to me, especially having to finagle a happier plot inverse. IDK, it might even be that I generally struggle to make up any conflict in modern AUs that feels interesting.

THAT SAID, lol, I definitely read either. So it’s probably strange for me to be hung up on it because I’ve read nice fluffy modern AUs and found them perfectly engaging.

Tagging: @theputterer, @magalis, @allatariel, @mythologicalmango, @threadsketchier MY USUAL DISCLAIMER APPLIES: no pressure if you just don’t wanna, AND if anyone sees this and was like “aw hey i wish she’d tagged ME” well guess what, I wish I did too! so go ahead and do it and let me know and then i’ll know to tag you next time, too :-)

Questions:

When you suffer a setback or a series of setbacks when creating (writing, drawing, knitting, any kind of crafty project thing you work on... even work), what are some strategies you use to cope with that stress and move forward?

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to create/make and what did you learn from it?

What part of a bicycle would you be?

What’s a helpful writing (art/crafting/work) technique you’ve learned?

What’s a piece of art that made you see things differently?

You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?

What was the last board game you played and what did you like or not like about it?

*sorry these came out rather writer heavy!

#about me #tag meme

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zuka-themed-username · 5 years

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z-t-r: Phantom 2018

Phinally! (sorry - but I spiced it up with some stage photos this time, creds to eternalyjun/searching the tags)

I had the absolute supreme pleasure of seeing Snow Troupe’s Phantom twice during my trip to Japan in November. I had arrived with a ticket for an opening day s-seki seat in Takarazuka, but during my travels a wonderful fan club was able to provide me a b-seki seat the following morning, and holy smokes am I glad I saw it twice. I don’t know why I thought I could handle an s-seki seat - the sheer force that is Nozomi Fuuto is completely overwhelming that close up - but it was nice to not have to use my opera glasses!

For all that Thunderbolt Fantasy/Killer Rouge was my favorite show I’ve seen live, Phantom was the best I’ve seen in Japan. In terms of technical execution and emotional power this show takes the cake. While I was a bit surprised they would have Phantom near Elisabeth as they can be seen as tonally similar from a distance, I see now why they were not concerned.

Quick spoiler-free plot summary: Christine Daaé (Maaya Kiho) is an aspiring opera singer out on the streets of Paris selling her new hit single ‘Melodie de Paris’ when she is discovered by Philippe (cast A - Ayanagi Shou) who tells her to go to the Paris Opera House to meet the general manager Gérard (Ayakaze Sakina). When she arrives she finds that he has been ousted by Alain (Asami Jun), though circumstances allow for her to stay and meet the new prima donna/Alain’s wife Carlotta (Maisaki Rin). Carlotta allows her to stay, where the Phantom (Nozomi Fuuto) hears her beautiful voice. He hides part of his face behind a mask (and has a Black Angel-esque cohort) because of Tragic Reasons but still becomes her singing teacher, and she eventually gets the starring role in the upcoming production of “The Fairy Queen”. Due to Shady Circumstances something happens to her voice and The Phantom is Not Pleased. All hell breaks loose, and yes, a chandelier falls in a really neat way. There’s a whole lot of drama, and then a startlingly peppy finale as with all two-act zuka shows.

As with my other reviews this will be a total scattershot of notes and impressions. Spoilers will be indicated with a “[s]”. However as this is a show that’s been performed many times, feel free to ask me more detailed questions if they’re not answered here! And yes, you’ll want to buy the DVD/Blu-Ray. If not I might finally figure out streaming and show it.

[s] Right off the bat: in comparison to the 2004 version, Daimon (Nozomi) does not kill the gentleman (Joseph - thanks @daimongumi!) in the beginning. He instead does the tasteful tumble. The moment the set rolls out you see that there is not space for him to stumble down a set of stairs and be stabbed. The Phantom is instead shocked and horrified.

- The start of the show has an elaborate video projection during the overture (including the show curtain shown above). It does a nice job of establishing the extensive catacomb system under the Paris Opera House. I do wonder though if it was used to shorten what I call the “visual overture”, where the Top Star does a dance or some sort of interpretive performance to music at the top of a show as otherwise the plot does not require them on stage for quite some time. While Daimon is a triple threat I’d definitely put dance at #3 - and frankly I’m all for shortening the extensive moody Phantom & co. dances if it allowed her to conserve lung power for the real focus - her kick ass voice! A bit more on this later.

The Phantom pushes away the haters (I’m all three musumeyaku)

- There were amazing / borderline excessive projections whenever the Phantom was onstage, and I guarantee they will not show up well on the recording. I can only hope they do not wash out costuming and lighting. I feel like they were supposed to be tendrils of darkness, though as they were projected light it looked instead a bit like vines. When Daimon was wearing the sage green lounge wear later it was especially noticeable. Again the image doesn’t do it justice (but can we appreciate this shocking apple green color?)

Another set of Incredibly Insightful and Deep Notes directly from my intermission scribbles:

- “Carlotta is hilarious”

- “Maaya Kiho is perfect”

- “Nozomi Fuuto is perfect”

- “tiny organ”

- “hella candles”

and lastly,

- “shady swag Willy Wonka”

which works better with a crossing the silver bridge gif but for now:

Anyway back to more fleshed out thoughts:

- To the clown and the jester in the far back of the stage during Melodie de Paris: thank you.

- More specifically, there are about five “rows” of Parisians on stage during Maaya Kiho’s introduction, and there was one performer in the far back right dressed like a jester. They started out juggling. Kind of. There was another civilian with them pretending to be entertained. They juggled for about five tosses, then headed offstage. “Ok,” I thought, “let’s see what else is happening.” I looked to the far left and there was a terrifying old-school clown clowning around. I was impressed with the costume and the commitment but quickly looked back to the right. The jester had returned. With a pillow. And was spinning it like a basketball. Just like a regular couch pillow with tassels. Spinning it on her finger until it started to wobble, then she’d reset and try again. It was riveting.

I have so many questions. Did jesters do this? Are you supposed to be juggling the whole scene? Why did you exit the stage and not just bring the pillow with you at the start? Did this change every night? Whose pillow is this? Are they ok with you spinning it like that? Where did this come from?? How -

(By then the scene was ending, and thank goodness I knew the plot otherwise I would have been completely lost. Also thank goodness for seeing the show twice, as Maaya’s voice is a golden treasure and if I had been too distracted to listen to it I would have been quite upset with myself.)

- Asami Jun as the new, slightly skeevy general manager of the Opera House is a joy. I had so much fun watching her be so into Carlotta, shooing people away or making a path for her wherever she went. He showers her with compliments and is utterly distraught when he misspeaks. I can’t imagine what Ayanagi’s interpretation would be like, as she was so fantastically sincere as Philippe, but I’m glad they will have a chance to stretch themselves as actors, since there’s really only one solo song between the two roles if I am remembering correctly.

- There were two musumeyaku Phantom followers and it was nice way to break up the choreography. While I am still not 100% convinced that the followers as a whole are incorporated effectively (I would like to see more interaction between the Phantom and his followers outside of setting them up to make mischief), they executed some interesting choreo well.

- One thing that really struck me throughout this production is how well Takarazuka as a whole is able to create worlds on their stage, through the simplicity / complexity of having a ton of background people onstage telling silent side stories. Sometimes sheer volume works, as with large city scenes (here Paris, also Guys & Dolls’ New York City), but also in any number of smaller cafe or club scenes. While painstaking measures are taken to ensure it does not interfere with the Top Star or Top Musumeyaku, it is still motion on stage that can draw the eye away (*ahem* jester). I would like to highlight my second favorite set of background characters, the prop guys in “Home”, as an example of how tricky this balance is. Plot Happens and Christine finds herself with some laundry and some music backstage in the opera house and begins the setup for her big solo turned duet, “Home”. Maaya is near the front of the stage, to the right in a light spotlight. Behind her are 4-5 sets of 2-3 people representing different segments of the opera company. There are dancers, some folks around a piano (I think), costume folks, and two guys on the far left checking props - our Spear Guys. They are all doing some light tasks amongst themselves. When Maaya begins singing, they all stop, except for the Spear Guys who are still joking around. As the song continues, they freeze and another group begins moving. This repeats until each group has had a silent solo, moving about behind Maaya until the huge Phantom set piece rises from the stage. The first time I saw the show I was seated on the far right - prime Maaya placement (thank you!!), but also lined up to have the Spear Guys right behind her. The second time up in b-seki it was not nearly as distracting as I could see the 15-20 feet between them and Maaya, but they still didn’t stop at the start like the other groups. I don’t think for a second they missed their cue two days in a row, but I do find it interesting that the direction does not have the entire stage freeze for Maaya’s intro. I wonder if that would be more distracting - to have 10-15 people suddenly stop moving and then have small groups begin moving, so they instead try to smooth out the transition with our Spear Guys. Or perhaps they wanted to highlight that she’s not a big deal yet as a laundry girl, despite this being a big song, so they don’t emphasis it as much with total stage isolation.

I don’t know why this specific thing stuck with me, perhaps I just wasn’t used to “Home” being staged instead of just an audio recording. But I won’t let this more intensive thought on direction make me forget to mention that: I sincerely hope no one gave Daimon any direction after opening night in regards to her facial expressions whenever the Phantom hears Christine’s voice. Idk if new tumblr will allow the gifs, if y’all pick up what I’m putting down.

- A quick side note: the sets and costumes feel refreshed and much more intricate. I’m somewhat surprised they were able to load the huge set pieces just four days after Castle of the White Heron. Huge shout out to the Takarazuka Theater Stage Crew/Staff.

- This goes without saying but Daimon and Maaya’s voices were flawless. I have a note that “Nozomi actually out-sung the ensemble”, which, duh? Her voice + microphones? I wish I could remember what I was going for there.

- There’s a song contest in act one, and frankly I think they should make the song the ensemble has to sing the actual contest. Boy does that song not translate well. It’s incredibly fast and while Snow Troupe does their best it’s legitimately impossible to follow. I need to see rehearsal footage to see ensemble folks just be like, “whelp this is fastest I can go, how are you doing?” and the shrugs in response. And then Daimon being like, “well I had a to practice a bunch but when I did it over a decade ago-” *nails it*

[s] When Christine faints from, idk, finally having a chance to follow her dreams and then promptly being poisoned, and the Phantom ‘sweeps her off her feet’ to his underground dungeon palace (with way too many candles - I assume candle maintenance is what the followers do most of the time), it was more of a ‘1 - 2 - hngh” on the Phantom’s part. I heard that it was very quickly taken out and I can attest that it didn’t need to happen if Daimon was going to hurt herself. Also I like that it gives Christine the tiniest bit more agency if she has to stumble through the mirror with him instead of being completely unconscious.

[s] Speaking of which, Maaya’s approach to Christine. This is another tricky thing that I could write a short essay about. In this version of Phantom, (compared to Andrew Lloyd Weber’s The Phantom of the Opera where Raul, a Philippe-type, is immediately there to try and help with the creepy Phantom situation) Christine is much more isolated, and greater attempts are made to humanize the Phantom. We get the sad details of his birth, upbringing, and current situation, including the weird twist that Christine looks just like his mother. Another essay could be (and no doubt has) been written on that topic, however what I would like to focus on is that Christine is aware of all of this information. She’s aware of how he ended up with a “horrendously” disfigured face and why he is deeply ashamed to the point of violence if discovered. So when she uses her beautiful, angelic voice to convince him to take off his mask, sees his face, then runs off screaming, it’s truly heartbreaking. There are a million ways to play this scene and the character up to this point, but the unfortunate reality is that Christine has to run out of the grotto/garden in order to make it back up to the opera house (somehow, which brings up more questions) for the plot to proceed and for last 40-50 minutes to happen. Therefore the actress is a bit stuck. With that eventuality in mind, I think Maaya makes Christine as ‘modern/realistic’ as possible, in that she screams without too much fear, and her face is a bit.. flat? I don’t mean that in a negative way. I wouldn’t be surprised if she received a few notes along the lines of, “be sure to be really scared by his face” but wanted to treat Christine as a woman that could understand - or simply wanted to have the chance to understand - the man under the mask/scars, so her reaction both times almost looked like, “ok I’m screaming and running because the plot requires it but I’m here for you-” *and gone*. This is reinforced by the much stronger reaction she has when she realized she made a mistake and struggles to go back behind the mirror to him, and her polite but not very enthused duet with Philippe (side note: the Phantom walking up with flowers after that scene - a punch to my stomach). I don’t even think it’s out of true romantic love, but out of a desire to truly understand. For all that they come from different backgrounds, they do have the same goal of making beautiful music, and with this much less murderous interpretation of the Phantom I could root for them. This is in stark contrast to the 2004 version, where I was much more ok with the Phantom’s demise in the end.

[s] That all being said, Maaya’s voice in the song that convinces the Phantom to remove his mask is f*ing beautiful. I am legitimately tearing up just hearing the echoes of it in my memory. When the Phantom is alone and breaks down crying after tearing down the world around him (quite literally), he is perfectly centered on the stage and just so small. It’s an amazing bit of staging that tore out my heart. The use of religious-style themes as well is just crushing.

[s] Speaking of which, I can’t forget to mention the incredibly long but intense story of the Phantom’s upbringing with this gorgeous stained glass in the background:

[s] The suggestion of questionable morality by tilting it is clear and fantastic, the dancing and anguish throughout is just flawless. For all that it does not make me sympathetic for the weirdly young dad (yes yes struggs of being nibante and not senka), I could still get behind the raw emotion of it all, which is rare for me. The “Ave Mariiiiiiia” is now ringing clearly in my head as well and I’ll just say good luck buying the soundtrack because I already ordered every copy.

[~s] Not quite a spoiler but at one point the Phantom is in a boat with Christine and is wearing a standard suit with tails. Intermission hits and when we come back to to our seats the plot has not progressed and yet they went and Top Star’ed the suit to make it the intricate blue one shown in most of the promos. I chuckled a bit.

- This happens much earlier in the show but Carlotta’s song introducing the frenzied world of opera is so fun and amazing - I remembered it just now as if my brain was trying to lighten the mood for me. You could tell they really reveled in the lighthearted scenes and nailed all of the comedic shenanigans.

- Come to think of it there’s a lot of tossed paper, envelopes, letters, music, etc. that is wild yet contained, though there is a letter dropped from the ceiling that juuuust barely made it on stage on the second day. It fell in the slot between the lights and the orchestra pit and I hope there’s a day where a musician has to hand it to them XD.

- Despite the age of the show it felt quite fresh, and the staging did not feel nearly as stiff as say, Elisabeth. That being said, all of the Phantom’s emotional struggles had the same setup of powerful song into a moody dance (except the big rehearsal scene, which is still all dance, though modified). This makes sense given the previous set of Phantoms (Wao Youka, Haruno Sumire, and Ranju Tomu), but I think for Daimon flipping the song and dance would have been beneficial. It would have been a bit hassle in terms of structure and orchestration, for sure, but continuing to shorten the Phantom-centric dance segments in exchange for a smoother and higher emotional peak, along with extended glorious singing by Daimon (also because the Phantom is a composer, not a choreographer) would have been neat.

[s for a bit] And here I was about to go into the auxiliary musings without detailing Daimon’s approach to the character! It was, in short, exactly how Daimon would approach the role. A total cop-out description, but I still think the most apt, despite me being unsure of how she would approach it before I saw it. Daimon has a way of blending vulnerability and ferocity that is quite unique to her and on full display here. The Phantom as a character is emotionally stunted and traumatized. He has the full strength and rage of an adult that has been wronged, the anguish of an artistic teen trying to find his voice, and the naivety of a boy that has only been loved by a woman that was scorned by everyone else. It is quite messed up when you lay it all out, and yet it does not allow for violent acts such as physical/emotional possession of another person and straight-up murder. As I mentioned before, when I saw the much more intentional murder in the 2004 version I was engaged and impressed by the gutsy-ness of it. “A Top Star is a villain, wow!” The emotional appeal in the second half of the show for me fell flat, until the very end when Hanafusa Mari is cradling Wao because of the sheer power of their Golden Combi. Hence I always saw the role as one or the other. A Phantom that is a villain with selfish desires (2004) or a misunderstood artist that gets swept up in emotion and acts out (2006). Here I can see both existing simultaneously. When Daimon is sad and aching, she is sad. Make no mistake, she was crying, many people in the audience were sniffing - two people on the second day had like racking sobs they were trying to control. No doubt a result of having seen it live, it is difficult for me to look at the character as a whole and cast one final opinion - I’m thinking of core scenes and moments where the emotion - sadness or rage - is just so strong. That’s something I think, whether or not you’ll like it when you see it, you can’t deny. Daimon’s expressive face is conveying every emotion quite strongly. When she goes to kill Carlotta, (RIP, you suck for sabotaging Christine but damn do I love your attitude) the intention is quite clear. Carlotta messed with Christine, so she’s gotta go. It’s terrifying, the calm appearance and slow, methodical style at first. The only thing that makes it mellow out for me is the absurdity of the red outfit and mask. It’s clear he raided the costume department and/or worked on the outfit for sometime despite being so incensed the moment he discovers who is at fault. Regardless of that flash of comedy, the cold intent is classic evil scary Daimon that I wanted to see.

What then I like about this is that we have three different situations with three different outcomes instead of just “too much emotion = murder”.

In 2004 we have:

someone saw the facial scarring -> murder

Phantom is not a fan of the new way the opera is being run -> murder

someone messed with Christine -> murder

In 2018 we have:

someone saw the facial scarring -> an accident/fall out of fright (This sets up better how “genuinely scary” his face is when Christine sees it. As an aside, his body still shows up in the glass case later on so I guess someone had to go find his body? I figure the followers had to draw straws, but that the Phantom would capitalize on it regardless is problematic.)

Phantom’s not a fan of the new way the opera is being run -> someone passes out from fright or overexertion during the Phantom panic?

someone messed with Christine -> oh shit, murder

This makes the murder all the more shocking, to the point of nearly being out of place, but the murderous intention comes not out of habit but because of love/infatuation with finding the voice of an angel/their mom. Which is a sentence I never thought I would type but here we are.

While it’s not as shocking on the meta level and can definitely be seen as making the character more tame, it also makes the incredibly long appeal to his tragic background less out of left field and a bit more of a situation to struggle with as an audience member. This does not excuse the dramatic trope of being shot and then having a solid 1-2 more hours of emotional appeals on the silver bridge, running about the opera house with the most incompetent guards, and entire song reprises before then being shot again, Andre on the Bridge-style. It’s a bit too long, and I wouldn’t mind switching the getting grazed on the side scene with the Phantom/dad reunion scene, if only so we could have a moment where not only does Gerard see his son get shot but is also seen by guards having talked to him, so there is more tension in the final moments. Not to re-write the script, but throwing in a bit of smugness from the guards to be like, “Nah, he won’t shoot his kid,” - then, “Father!”, then - *bang* adds perhaps a deeper shock to the bystanders? Or perhaps it’s 1 AM and I need to finish pontificating on something I saw just long enough ago to forget more interesting details.

Regardless, that aaallllll being said, Daimon’s Phantom is one that seeks to cover every base as strongly as possible. He is the saddest, the most anguished, the most angry, the most vulnerable and the most capable of cold and calculated revenge. Thus it could read as a bit overwrought or youthful, but I think it works with this greater shift in narrative that the Phantom lacks the emotional training one would get from having been raised in a more... conventional mask-free non-catacombs environment.

[end of s]

- On the finale: y’all, I was so exhausted. This show is so much. I’m never prepared for a mini revue after a two act show and this was no exception. It was fast. I want the script-lettered “phantom” sign in my house. The songs were upbeat and it was jarring. This scene happened:

and there’s a hip move (?) that was real sassy. My face was stiff from trying not to cry and still an eyebrow twitched in surprise. When the gif hits tumblr it’s gonna blow up. Get ready for Music Revolution is all I can say. It’s already better than Super Voyager.

A few auxiliary notes:

- People were cryyyying. A lot of sniffles. Two people actively sobbing on day two.

[s] On opening day during one of the final scenes Christine plays, if I remember correctly, a few notes of the “oh you are music” line on the piano and “revives” the Phantom for a final moment. Except kinda? It went up correctly but on the way down she didn’t hit the right note and ended up with a nice jazz remix. You better believe she had it right the next day but I loved the *note, note, wrong note. tasteful pause. a note that sounds like a venturing guess. a pause. another note aaaaand the scene continued* I love knowing that she’s actually playing those notes.

- I’m not surprised if they didn’t release the opening day curtain call speeches - Rika Masumi could not remember Gaston Leroux’s name (original author of The Phantom of the Opera - and fair, this show is so far from the book I’m surprised it has to be mentioned at all) and Daimon was trying to explain the cast split but got caught up in “ums” (which sounds like “eh”), which led to a funny bit where she was like, “you know, cast... eh... eh... ah, A!” (’A’ also sounding more like “eh”). Then there were two more curtain calls at which point Daimon was literally like, “buy the CD, buy some sandwiches and drinks... go home please” and then was like, “ok let’s do a phantom mask sign-off, everyone put your hand up like this” *hand up like the phantom mask* “ok with me, ‘Phantom...’” *audience repeats* Then Daimon pulled her hand away and said “maerou!” which literally is just like, “Phantom... is over!” I’m sure there’s a more elegant way to phrase it but people chuckled and starting packing up so I followed suit. I really wanted Maaya to speak but alas that’s not how things roll. If anyone has any insight on how she said she was going to approach the role (beyond, “I’m going to support otokoyaku”) please let me know!

I’m no doubt missing a whole bunch, probably will edit in the morning, and might add some comments if I remember, but otherwise this sums up my trip! So glad to finally have it all out there and finished. Can’t wait to hear people’s impressions of the Tokyo run!

#takarazuka #snow troupe #phantom #yukigumi #nozomi fuuto #daimon #maaya kiho #murder #i was dead #but in the good way not like *spoiler*#:o

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myfeetkeepdancing · 6 years

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Unsustainable - (4/9)

!Disclaimer: I do NOT ship the people on the banner or any gifs showing up in the fanfic. They helped me visualize and are part of my writing experience. Much love for Tom Holland & Cody Christian!

Summary: An accident happened in which the reader has gotten powers. The reader is struggling to adjust to his new powers but also to keep them secret from Peter as they become closer.

Pairings: Peter Parker x Male Reader

Word count: 1994

A/N: This chapter more a less feels like a filler. Not really happy how it turned out.

The old wounds ache. Nightmares keep repeating themselves. They kept coming back and more frequent than ever before. In the middle of the night waking up, shirt soaking wet. That same scene over and over again. You couldn't shake it loose. It kept tormenting you during the long nights. Falling asleep was already a problem. So many questions left unanswered left you awake until late in the night. Twisting and turning in your bed. Not long into the night, you'd wake up sitting upright in bed. Sweating all over, bruised knuckles and a trembling body, full of adrenaline. Sleep deprived you'd arrive at school, no attempt to hide it from Peter. Why should you anyway? Occasionally you'd stay home. But the absences from school were noticed. You called in sick multiple times. It was waiting for school to take some sort of action. Meanwhile, MJ kept you up to date, she’d bring in new the homework. While keeping Peter distant. Afraid you let something slip.

Every conversation you had with Peter kept you on your toes. Since the meeting in the park, you learned a lot. The Raven answered many questions. But the thought that Peter was possibly hiding something was unnerving. Weirdly enough, the Raven didn’t want to tell the truth. It wanted you to find it out on your own. You didn’t meet with Peter as often as before. At the start of the year, things looked good. You became closer to him than before. But now you wanted to keep him away from this. What would happen if he found out? Would he tell Stark? May invited you over for dinner, but you had to come up with all kinds of reasons to pass up. You were torn between feelings for Peter and him finding out your secret. One of the two actually. Your feelings for him was another. Just as hard to keep hidden. What was he onto? How did he find out? Did Mr. Stark help him? And what had Peter to hide? You snap out of your daydream as the bus comes to a halt.

Peter was in doubt, the last weeks worked on his nerves. Being Spider-Man carried its own burdens but (Y/N) story was different. He fought the villain Vulture, captured bank robbers, stopped bicycle thieves and help the elderly cross the street. This was different. This felt different. This was personal. Peter wasn’t a detective, but his Spidey senses were tingling ever since (Y/N) returned from summer vacation. His heightened senses helped him read a person much better. And if there is one thing he can trust it’s his Spidey senses. (Y/N) was hiding something. In the spur of the moment, he asked Mr. Stark for help. That was only once. But in the heat of the moment, he let that slip. Thinking back to that very moment, he keeps reassuring himself that was the best course of action. He couldn’t forgive himself if (Y/N) got hurt. Peter was panicking back then. Now, he was ashamed of his actions. Peter felt the cringe consume him, remembering how (Y/N) reacted. (Y/N) was furious. Understandable, as someone who goes on a regular holiday and then hears afterward that he was tracked by Tony Stark's supercomputers. But by all means, Peter was convinced this wasn't a ‘normal holiday.’ Peter knew that (Y/N) was lying then. Peter wanted to scream it. (Y/N) heartbeat had betrayed him. Peter thoughts ran wild. He kept pondering over the same questions. Could he contain his nerves? Why would (Y/N) keep lying? He swallowed the lump in his throat, his hands feeling sweaty in his pockets. His fingers playing with his house keys. He jogs up the main stairs of the Avengers Tower leading up to the lobby. Out of nowhere, Miss Potts surprises Peter. “Peter, are you alright? You look nervous.”

“H-Hi… Miss Potts. I-I’m alright. I’m looking for Mr. Stark.”

“I believe he’s in his lab, floor 54.”

Peter nods as he sidesteps Miss Potts, quickly heading for the elevator. The steel elevator doors wore the Avengers symbol perfectly in the middle. As the doors slid open to the side, the large glass back panel gave sight onto the inner courtyard of the Avengers tower. A peaceful garden surrounded by a flow of water originating from a small waterfall at the back. Peter leaned forward crossing his arms as he lays them on the railing. The elevator rocketed upwards, Peter stared outside as the peaceful garden make way for skyscrapers and office buildings. The sun carefully covered by a thick layer of clouds. Drops of rain start falling onto the side of the elevator. Only adding to Peter's sad state of mind. Peter stared into the grey sky as he thought of all the inconsistencies (Y/N) had shown. Was he right? Did he see it the right way? The sound of the elevator reaching the floor helped Peter out of his endless gaze. He turned into the hallway leading onto Mr. Stark's lab. There was a certain calmness in the air as he walked down the hall, no employees, no Iron Man suits, just some planters and chairs, and rain hitting the window. Peter held his ground, one hand on the door as he tried to listen to sounds coming from the lab. But also wondering if he did the right thing. From the corner of his eye socket, he noticed a shape. Before he could look, the shape resembling a bird of some sort flew off down towards the city. Whatever. Peter pushed open the door leading into the lab. The lab was a large spacious room. Workbenches lay in the center with large screens hanging from the ceiling. Armory stations lined the walls which housed all different kind of versions of Iron Man armor. Like usual parts were scattered all along the floor, heaps of technical devices lay against workbenches. Containers of screws, wires and circuit boards were stacked upon each other, begging to be pushed over soon or later. From the center of the room, the sound of repairs was heard. Sparks and sounds of hydraulics could be heard. Peter carefully moved passed the heaps of metal and parts. Careful not to damage anything. Mr. Starks sat on a small trolley working on a suit of armor, reconnecting and replacing parts. Nearby machines were busy rewiring and pressing pieces of steels. Peter looked on in silence.

“M-Mr. Stark?”

“G-! Holy! Mother of smol beans!” Tony darts right up from his work. ”Pete! You scared the bejesus outta me.” Hitting his suit with the tool, creating sparks all over.

“S-So sorry Mr. Stark. I-I…I just wanna discuss something with you.”

"Let me guess, you destroyed the suit. No, wait…! Aunt May. She finally agreed to get some dinner?"

“What? No, not at all. I-I… mean it’s just…”

"Spit it out, kid. The world isn't going to save itself."

“It’s personal sir…”

“Oh dear, you met a girl, had a few too many drinks and now you may or may not have a child with her?”

“Please mister Stark, something is wrong with (Y/N). And I need your help…”

“I’ve heard that before Peter…”

“This is different! It’s so frustrating sir! Every day I see him struggling. I-I… just feel it... He is distant, rarely comes over, we barely spend time together, we don't do sleepovers anymore. He gets sick often, has random nosebleeds, suddenly started writing with his right arm. While he's always left-handed! And strange birds suddenly show up. Something is going on with raven’s sir. It all doesn’t add up. It’s tearing me up from inside! I need answers, sir. Please…"

“Wow, you really got worked up about it kiddo…”

“At first, I was really hesitant to ask for your help again. I couldn’t sleep for days. It… It just kept circling in my mind. I’m just really fed up about it. I just can’t seem to connect the dots, not on my own sir…”

"Let me draw you the first line, Peter. You care about (Y/N). More than you afraid to admit. I see it in you. You have that same fire in your eyes.”

“No… he’s j-just…”

“Pepper had that look too.”

“That-“

“Listen, you don’t have to admit it to me. Start following him, find out what he does outside of school. Find out what breaks his routine. Protect him from what you think is haunting him. Be that friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Look out for the little guy. But don't let your emotions get the best of you.”

“But how are you-“

“Shush! Now go, Peter! Let me know what you find out. I have something in mind.”

Starks shifting attention let Peter standing, gazing into nothingness. With legs like stone, armpits like waterfalls, shaky hands and a knot in his stomach he was frozen to the spot. Zoned out from all the noise happening around. That sudden realization hit home harder than expected. He had battled those feelings before. Unsure what it all meant. His body told him the signs, showed it. He felt it. Time and time again. Every time you were around, or close to him. Even getting a look from you, his body told him. Peter’s body had ached for it. Begged for it. And Starks words hit the nail on the head. The signs became ever more apparent in the months while you were gone. Peter was afraid to admit it. The months you were gone were bland, boring and empty. His mind had wondered day in day out, unable to focus on anything. Expecting you to show up around every corner. Those days were long and tiresome. There wasn't something or someone who could fill that gap, that emptiness. That loneliness. Except for you. Now he knew. Now he felt it. Peter had feelings for you.

From the bus on you take the usual path down the docks towards the warehouses. During the day the warehouses didn’t have that creep factor. Although the presence of seagulls and some stray cats, and of course the Raven, pretty much nothing happened here. At night the empty parking lots and abandoned warehouses were a different story. Turning down the small passageways, you eventually end up at the shack. Checking your surroundings, you move inwards. The old shack was connected to a larger warehouse. The two walls facing the warehouse were lined with small square windows. A couple of old desks, broken chairs, and file cabinets littered the place. Connecting the battery in the corner sprung on the old desk light. Filling the room with a slight buzzing sound as the old light bulb warmed up and lit the desk up. Taking place on the desk chair, you reach behind the drawer with one hand. Your fingers searching for the mechanism. A clicking sound pushes the bottom drawer open, revealing the folder. As you roll your eyes over the text, in the corner of your eye, you see a familiar figure emerging in the doorway. “Hello (Y/N)…” said the older man. “Hey Matthias, how’s Boris doing?” You reply without losing sight of the papers. “He’s getting old, as we all do…” Matthias limps across the room, taking place on the old chair in between the file cabinets. The old wooden chair creeks under the weight. “You look troubled (Y/N). Something bothering you?” You knew it would be for the best to share everything you knew and experienced. For the sake of yourself and him. “You know the master is doing this to help you?” Matthias pressed on. But should you tell about Peter? “Something happened earlier this week… An eh… raven appeared before me. Shares the same fate as me. Somehow I have a connection with it…" You explain while searching for the little apparatus in your backpack. “He will figure this out. Don’t worry. For now, read the papers and start your training. You need time to regain your strength before returning home.”

A/N: Originally I had a plan for Matthias & Boris but since I haven’t found a way to keep the story going after chapter 9. You may forget about them.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x male reader #peter parker x male!reader #peter parker x you #peter parker #peter parker x y/n #peter parker imagine #peter parker tom holland #tom holland #tom holland reader #male reader x spiderman #spiderman x male reader #spiderman x male!reader #spiderman oneshot

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rvnjun · 6 years

Text

Vampire!Jeno

requested: yes! genre: fluff with minro angst warnings: vampires? shitty friends? pairing: vampire!jeno x human!reader a/n: whoever requested this, thank you so freaking much, i love aus a/n pt2: so I don't know how to end these things so i'm sorry for the crappy ending. I’m really happy with this but I don't know if it's any good so feedback would be appreciated

this gif has nothing to do with the story but he looks hot somehow

There were 2 different types of vampires, those born into it and those who were bitten, the latter being the most common

Jeno, like many people, were bitten without consent

He could remember that night very clearly, he wouldn't change it for the world

It may have been a horrible night but it was the night he met you

There had been these gruesome animals attacks going around, people were showing up killed with their necks sliced and a lots of blood gone

His friends and him, being the idiots they were, decided to would be cool to try and find the thing that was hurting these people

They snuck into the woods and caused a scene

They were being obnoxious and definitely making any sane animal nearby run away in fear

Until they heard it, it was exactly like in the horror movies

From somewhere behind them a branch broke, they turned their phone lights onto it but nothing was there

That's when Jeno noticed what looked like blood, without thinking he slowly walked towards the spot, being down he tried to get a better look

He heard his friends gasp so he looked up and made eye contact with something inhuman

All of them screamed, they thing lunged at Jeno and bit him

His friends started fighting back, they were throwing punches and anything they could pick up of the ground

The thing let go of Jeno and hurriedly scurried off in pain form the youthful teenagers viscous attacks

Scared out of their mind they picked Jeno up and called 911, after telling them what they saw and what happened they were called crazy and the operator yelled at them for prank calling

Everyone was panicking, Jeno was bleeding out and they all thought they knew what they saw but no one was going to admit it, to say that one cursed word, vampire

“Jeno is going to turn into one of those monsters” “Are you saying we kill him or leave him here to die?” “No! I'm just saying, what if he attacks us, you saw what that thing was doing to other humans ” “Guys, let's just leave him here, he will either die or turn into that thing and neither of those is good for us,”

Jeno was out of it but he still heard the conversation very clearly, his friends didn't care about him or trust him

They all got in the car and drove away, leaving behind a injured,confused, and betrayed Jeno in the woods

That's how he met you

You had been trying to walk to a convenience store nearby when you heard talking

Stopping you overheard the conversation and immediately you were concerned

You had no clue what they meant by monster, all you knew was that their friends was bitten and they were choosing to leave him here instead of helping him get proper help

Once you saw the car drive away you ran out from your hiding spot and saw Jeno laying on the ground looking half dead

“Oh my gosh,” you said once you saw all the blood on hi,, Jeno didn't even have the energy to raise his head to see who it was, he just lied there and let you help him

You put pressure on the wound and pulled out your phone

“911, I'm at ************ and there is this boy laying here, he is very injured, there is a lot of blood,,,No I don't know what happened, I found him like the after his friends left him here,,,He isn't responding to my questions,,,,Oh my gosh, Mrs., I think he is dead,,,,Oh my gosh,,,oh my gosh,,,,Mrs., he isn't breathing,,,Mrs., I can't calm down there is a dead guy in my a,,,,what the fuck,,.,,,,how,,,,what?”

Your eyes widen when the kid went from not breathing and bleeding out of all the place to sitting up with no injury

He looked at you with blood red wide eyes

Slowly you hung up the phone and just stared at him

“What,” you simply said in awe

“I don't know whats happening,” he confessed with a worried tone

“Neither do I, can you tell me how you got bitten, how did it heal?” honestly, you didn't know why you were still sitting on the ground while talking to this guy

You should have stood up and prepared yourself to run, you should have been afraid, but, you couldn't

He was clearly as afraid and confused as you were, you heard what his friends said, he was now alone and his closest friends abandoned him

You sat and listened closely to his story, once he was done talking you immediately said what he did not want to

“You're a vampire!” you pointed out while leaning in closer to him

“Vampires,,, are real,, I'm now one of them?” he asked himself before looking up at the sky

“What should I do? How do I tell my parents? Am I going to have a craving for human blood?” he started throwing all these questions at you and you didn't know how to answer

“I don't know, let's go to the library and do some research,” you had offered while smiling at him

“Oh and I never introduced myself, I'm Y/N,” you stuck out your hand and waited for him to shake it

Jeno smiled and shook your hand with an adorable smile that showed his baby fangs “Jeno, nice to meet you,” he introduced

You and Jeno started on your journey to the public library, but not before stopping at the convenience store to get him some sunblock

Along the way, you talked about many things

Things about your lives, why you weren't and aren't afraid of him, what he should do, how he needed better friends

You weren't so sure how the conversation was smoothly transitioning but you liked it

Once you got to the library you immediately went to the vampire section, you pulled out multiple books

The next 2 hours were spent with you two reading the books and exchanging information and facts

You had read in the books that vampires get together in “nests” and help each other but, a lot of vampires were actually kind

Until a librarian approached you two, he was on the taller side and he wore cute spectacles

“Hi there. I just wanted to make sure you two were alright,” he kindly spoke before taking in your sight

You guys hadn't really paid attention to it before but Jeno was very pale and dead looking while you still had blood on your shirt

Hesitantly Jeno nodded, he looked afraid and concerned

The librarian whose name you read as Johnny didn't seem to believe it

He smiled and showed his fangs while looking at Jeno

You and Jeno had gasped and slightly backed up

“I'm not the one that turned you. I was just concerned when I saw you two and you guys have been reading books about vampires for a while now,” Johnny said with a soft expression

You and Jeno exchanged glances and chose not to say anything

Johnny noticed this and continued speaking “ Look, I live in a house with others like us, we aren't the bad guys, why don't you come to join us.”

“Are you sure?” Jeno asked, loosening up a little bit

“Of course, now come with me, let me take you there,” he said while turning to walk away “Just you, don't bring the human,” Johnny added

Jeno looked at you with covered eyes, he didn't want to leave you, not after all of this, not after what you've been through together in the past 4-5 hours

You stared at Jeno with kind eyes

“May I have your number?’ Jeno asked causing you to nod, you quickly wrote it down and handed it to him

Scurrying off he left you behind to clean up all the books but you didn't mind “Be safe,” you quietly mumbled

It had been a few days since you had your encounter with Jeno, you started to look at people differently, whoever turned him and killed those people was still on the loose

You were walking home, thinking about Jeno and everything that happened in the time span of a few hours when someone jumped out in front of you

“Delicious,” their voice was sinisterly broken

You instantly knew that they were a vamp and more n likely the one that has been hurting people

There was a lump in your throat, you didn't know what to say or what to do

You had read about how to protect yourself but you didn't have any of those things on you

Sneakily pulling out your phone you tried to call 911

“I'm gonna get you,” he said while charging at you at fast speeds

You screamed as loud and has high pitched as you could

His hands grabbed your shoulders as he forced you to hold still

“Jeno,” you screamed for one last time before the man's hand was placed on your mouth

In a matter of seconds, the man was thrown off of you, your knees gave out below you and you fell to the ground

A strong pair of arms wrapped around you and pulled you into them

You looked up to see your knight in shining armor, Jeno

He gave you an adorable smile

There were some things you could tell about him that had changed, he looked healthier and much stronger

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw people you didn't recognize take down the rogue vampire

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Jeno asked with concerned yes

You shook your head no and looked at him

His arms were still wrapped around you and you were still pressed against him

His eyes moved to your lips, you could see the want in them

All you wanted to do was close the gap between you

Your stared at his lips and hoped he would notice

Soon enough, he was leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips you felt sparks fly

“Loverboy, get a room,” one of the good vamps said casing you to pull away

You moved from Jenos embrace and looked at them with wide eyes

There was 3 of them, they all looked nice and friendly

“Haechan shut the fuck up,” the shortest one said before putting the one you now knew as Haechan in a choke hold

One of them started to smile while watching his friends antics, you immediately noticed how bright and friendly he looked

“Y/n these are my new and improved friends,” Jeno said with a laugh

“You already know haechan, the one choking him is Renjun and the smiling one is Jaemin,”

“Its a pleasure to meet you all,” you politely said

“Same to you, thanks for helping Jeno,” Jaemin said

“yeah and as much as we would like to talk we have to go,” Renjun piped up, he pulled on Haechan and Jaemins sleeves trying to get them to move

Jaemin easily compiled but Haechan put up a fight before giving in with a charming smile

“You never called me,” Jeno said as soon as the boys had left

“I didn't know what to say and I figured you were busy with your new vampire life,” you confessed while looking at the ground

“Y/n I would love to be busy with you, I gave you my number for a reason. Since I just kissed you I think you know how I feel,” he said while pulling you back into him

His arms were wrapped around his waist while yours were wrapped around his neck

“I like you too Jeno, I want to make this work,” you said while looking into his mesmerizing brown eyes

“Me too,” he said before leaning down and pressing another kiss to your lips

thee end

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ego-centrick-moved · 6 years

Text

EGO MAYHEM THEORIES: II

THIS IS PART II. CLICK HERE FOR PART I.

OK FUCKERS LET’S FIRST COVER SOME STUFF:

Jack posted a photo to his instagram with red lights shining on his face as he wore chases shirt and marvin's mask was spotted in the back

he livestreamed some fortnight and @lisasepticsuperplier spotted marvin’s mask hanging on the whiteboard. @maggiemaemoo also noticed and pointed out when he went on a “pee break” the mask went missing. this same mask was on the whiteboard in his new “am i colorblind” video.

it’s important to note that the red lights were in every video between chapter one and the colorblind video.

RGB lights/lens flares in most thumbnails.

he wore a black shirt in every video up until today (5/9) where he switched it out for chases shirt in “try to fall asleep” and a fairly normal tee in “am i colorblind”

i don't think “am i colorblind” is important to our theories at all, i actually think for once we got a normal video? besides the mask, nothing off happens the whole video and there’s no red lights. did jack go back to sleep?

CHAPTER 4: “IT WAS ALL CONNECTED”

"you see a man in front of you. this man looks strange, not like any man you have seen before. suddenly, you realize you were looking in a mirror..."

by this point we know all of the intros are connected/parallel events having to do with jack/the egos. this intro doesn’t end with “stories untold.” it’s likely the case because in game, we learn what the characters “untold” story is- and we start to uncover jacks.

all of his egos have a similar likeness to jack, so he could be referring to coming face to face with any of them. i think, however, this is more of a “i don’t recognize myself” statement. jack has lost his memories, he hasn’t been himself and his subconscious knows. that’s why he doesn’t recognize the man in the mirror, why it looks strange to him. mirrors have been a common theme over time regarding anti/broken!jack, and mirrors were also involved in the second video this day.

i really think jack did a good job choosing stories untold to be The Game(tm) where all this shit goes down. there’s a lot of very obvious connections you can make with jack/the ego’s stories and this game, and i enjoy it a lot. i took some notes while watching the video, it would take to long to expand on them individually so i'll just share this screenshot. it’s a lil messy:

now let’s jump to that ending. i’m still reeling from it; wig evaporated.

i still have NO SOLID IDEA what he could’ve been referring to. does he remember everything or just some things? does he blame schneep or anti? does he remember who everyone is again? SO MANY QUESTIONS! gif credit

@fear-is-nameless pointed out he looks directly at the camera, not through it. almost as if he's talking to someone. i think he’s either talking to us, or talking to schneep/chase considering (i think) they were the ones trying to get him to wake up to begin with.

@no-strings-puppet pulled together the whispers that you can listen to slowed here, slowed and reversed here.

@damienisverygood made a transcript of the whispers, i have a hard time hearing it so i cant rly confirm for 100% that this is accurate, but definitely worth noting.

@monochromemedic had a really interesting theory about schneeps involvement in it all, it’s definitely worth taking a peek at.

@booperdoopcr has a theory that really got me thinking as well.

i really do think someone has been “pulling the strings,” choosing what jack can remember and locking away whatever memories either a, hurt him or b, doesn’t serve their agenda. it’s hard to tell if it’s anti who’s in control of what jack knows or if it’s our doctor.

i don’t think schneep is evil or malevolent. if he’s keeping jack from remembering it’s for jacks health or the well-being of the other egos/himself. it’s an outdated theory that anti thrives off of attention (i can’t remember but i think jack said that wasn’t quite the case) so it would make sense for henrick to lock away memories that involved anti, it would also explain why jack doesn’t remember him (considering he was corrupted last time we saw him). the thing that doesn’t quite add up with this theory is why schneep was so frazzled to see jack playing his role, when he knew jack didn’t remember him or really know what he was doing. schneep looked scared when confronting jack, he knew something was wrong. overnightwatch happened after schneep left for “vacation,” yet jack seems to forget about that too. i don’t dismiss this theory completely, it just leaves a lot of questions.

anti, however, would benefit from jack having amnesia about him. if he doesn’t know who anti is and doesn’t know there’s something fishy going on, he can’t stop it. it would make sense for anti to make jack forget schneep, considering he tried to save him. it also could’ve just been a casualty of trying to get jack to forget everything regarding the glitch demon himself. it would also make sense for schneep to be frazzled in this case when confronting jack, because he likely didn’t know who he was talking to. he recognized jack, but he didn’t know jack. if that makes any sense.

i stand strongly by my theory that memory-lacking jack is just a puppet of antis, being controlled by him without really knowing. schneep has experience with anti, he was likely afraid of the unknown possibilities that stirred around confronting an unstable, unknowing puppet!jack. i honestly believe schneep came back to try to save jack. after he confronted puppet!jack, i think he started some sort of therapy to get him to remember, and had chases help. (like a parallel to the dr. alex/mom and james in the game ya feel?)

@chronically-illustrated pointed out that all of the endings could be a bit of interpretation of what happened to jack over the years. James Ation had a hard time interpreting reality so the truth manifested in complicated and symbolic ways. the outros could’ve symbolized jack’s memories coming back to him/events that have been actively happening.

we see jack “wake up” periodically (i think the jack that remembers is conscious, just locked away, being tortured and watching everything unfold) , leaving hints and cries for help littered here and there. they almost ALWAYS get removed though, seemingly by anti trying to get things back under control. the tags on the DDLC playthroughs that got deleted (canyouhearme, i remember what happened), the entire overnightwatch stream getting deleted (seemingly from memory as well), the random tags showing up on posts only to get deleted later (the sos in morse code). anti doesn’t want jack catching on, he deletes all signs of him he can and all of jacks cries for help while simultaneously taunting us and fucking with us (like overnightwatch as whole). thanks to @fear-is-nameless for reminding me about the tags on DDLC.

no traditional outro or intro

CHECK PLEASE

this video just seemed very off. i don’t have a lot to say about it, but i’ll let my notes sum it up:

i don’t really know what to make of it, other than it’s suspicious as all hell. the red light was in this video as well.

he mentioned magic 6 times, made a blood/knife/threatening comment about 5 times, and got injured/burned twice.

that mirror speech was all fine until he said “you got this- we got this.” i just don't trust like that.

if anything, i think this just helps solidify the idea that memory vacant jack is just a puppet of antis. it might also reveal that anti’s whole plan is to become one with jack and be the foreman (host).

“papa” sounds a lot like anti in the closing scene lmao. i don’t think there’s much to read into, its just something funny. if he is a puppet i wonder if he sees anti as dad?

there IS a traditional outro/intro

TRY TO FALL ASLEEP

i hate this man. i absolutely despise him. im kidding i love him and his creativity and torture knows no bounds. this mother fuck really did this to us.

before even watching the video, i knew we were NOT in the clear, after jack seemingly “waking up” yesterday and then this video? i love hate him.

here are my general notes on the video. i added lines to make it easier to read cos this was a Lot:

i take the notes during my first watch through so i'm sorry for the meaningless comments/reactions throughout.

let’s break this down a lil bit. the video starts off weird. there’s no normal intro, and the red lights are there- just dim (this was brought to my attention from this post by @markired), “jack” fades in through static.

@lizziebirb made this gif where you can see marvins mask show through the static:

then that creepy grin is back as he introduces the game. he stares directly at us as he makes his “speech” about going to sleep. when he makes the comment “when you drift off, that’s when the fun begins,” i half expected to hear anti’s laugh. bone-chilling to say the least.

the character in the game is someone who just went through an accident of some kind, and memory loss is mentioned (another parallel?). jack glosses over that, and instead focuses on brain damage. now hear me out; what if jack doesn’t want to remember? what if he wants to stay asleep because he’s afraid? i feel like due to the theme of the last game egos aside, he normally would’ve pointed it out or made a connection? i could be wrong, im just thinking out loud.

he also, out of place, brought up “why are all these people in my house” which reminded me a lot of a post he reblogged a few days ago.

he says “i don't know if i need a mask” (referring to gas masks in game) but that line stuck out to me, due to the fact two egos have masks and one of them even popped up in this video. the other ego (jbm) we haven't heard almost anything from since this all started.

i found a lot in the TV snow. we see marvin, JJ, and a hidden message. ill link the post with all the pictures here, but i would like to highlight a few screenshots in specific.

in this one, jack’s webcam seems to glitch out when marvin pops up. i don't know if that was something that messed up in the rendering of the video, but it honestly reminds me a lot like the glitches that popped up during the antipocalypse days. with the way the color fades and there seems to be hints of color over his face. i wonder if there’s a second image there we just can’t see?

and then there was this:

i traced over the words, but that’s all i saw. i’ve seen people claim it says “you need to wake up” but i just... don’t see that. it would make sense, but i never see the end of this sentence and i very clearly see an “A” in the 3rd word, so it doesn’t say “need”. it could say “you have to flee,” considering that is the next word we see after this. if that’s the case, who is he fleeing from and why?

it could ALSO be someone telling jack he HAS to wake up. like they’re telling him he doesn’t have a choice, he can't just keep acting like things didn’t happen and put off confronting his memories/his egos. after waking up yesterday, and then this video today, i wouldn’t be surprised if he’s deliberately trying to fall back asleep.

we also see JJ. but why? this is the only time i see him, and as far as i know jack doesn’t even reference him in this video, unlike how he referenced marvin with the abundance of magic-related comments. what’s the significance of JJ being in this video/making an appearance?

he also makes a face worth mentioning after reading the phrase “loose lips spit sekrits.” (i’m p sure it’s spelt that way because in dreams it’s common for things to be a little off, especially words. it wasn’t a typo by the developers, it was deliberate). this face goes entirely full screen and only lasts for about a second. it could be for comedic effect because he thought it was a typo, but it could also be a certain someone throwing some shade, yanno? someone's been slipping us hints, “spitting sekrits,” and another someone is probably not very thrilled about it.

he then makes a comment about “revive” due to the word being on a podium. he picks up a fuse and says, “can the doctor revive me after this” (as JJ pops up on screen) which could be a direct reference to schneep “reviving” jack- or at least his attempts to.

fear was a big theme in this video, he repeated that he “wasn’t afraid” many times even though he was very obviously afraid. i wonder who he was trying to convince he wasn’t afraid? who are we even watching in this video, and who are they trying to prove something to? he breaks the fourth wall towards the end and tells us “no fear, im repeating it so you guys remember it.” does he want us to have no fear, is it important that we aren’t afraid? or is he trying to convince us/whoever he really isn’t afraid, just cautious for our sake?

there were about 5 mentions of magic i caught throughout this video.

no traditional outro/intro

i’ll add more as the days go on, but in another two days (if there’s still ego stuff goin on) i’ll make another one. :D if you have any theories to add lmk by tagging me, messaging them to me, or just replying here ! i’ll throw them in where/if they fit and tag you. thanks for all the positive responses on my first theory post, i hope this one is as helpful. :D

Tags (im sorry): @jacksoopticboop @jacksepticeye-protection-squad @lum1natrix @puppet-master-anti @kasper-the-ghost @septicjacks @mrcamillaa @hufflepufftrax @rogue-of-broken-time @marielgum @markired

#jacksepticeye #antisepticeye #overnightwatch #marvin the magnificent #jse theories #jse community #stories untold #mo theorizes #mo squeaks #long post #*100

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gotforthe7 · 6 years

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Got7 reaction to their best friend (and crush) always getting hurt by guys <3

I honestly loved writing this one so I hope you enjoy reading this! I love you all to the moon and back! (This was also requested by another lovely anon!) Another little note before the reaction, THE GIFS THAT I USE AREN’T MINE AND ALL CREDIT GOES TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS WHO MAKE THEM <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*Mark! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Mark had always been there to comfort you after some douche-bag had used you for either sex, popularity or even just boredom. It’d be him you would come to when everything goes wrong and each and every time, his arms would be spread out for you to run into. Mark had major feelings for you and no one was going to hurt what’s his, even if you didn’t know it yet! You would show up on his doorstep with tear stained cheeks and almost immediately, his heart would break in two. That night, Mark would have you in tears of laughter, making you completely forget about why you were sad. That was when he figured it was the right time to confess.

“Look Y/n, I want you to listen to me for a minute. I like you. I like you a lot actually. I want you to stop going for all these arseholes and let me take care of you because I promise, no one will hurt you if you’re with me. So please, give me the chance to show you how a princess should be treated?”

｡･ﾟﾟ･Jaebum! ･ﾟﾟ･｡

‘I’m going to kill him” was the first thing Jaebum had said when you told him that your boyfriend had cheated. He was livid. But when he saw how upset you were, his priorities totally switched and making you happy was his number one goal. He would try to comfort you in many ways possible. Such as getting your favourite food or watching your favourite tv show with you. If you were still sad, he would arrange something special. Say a candle lit dinner on the beach maybe? There, he would tell you how much he admires you and how he would treat you like an angel everyday for the rest of his life.

“Let me be the one you’re looking for all the time.”

＊✿❀Jackson! ❀✿＊*

Jackson didn’t say anything when you showed up outside his house, telling him that your boyfriend of three years had cheated. He was so livid at the fact that you were played about and he couldn’t have done anything about it. He was so livid that he actually showed up at the arseholes house and ‘confronted’ him. When I say that Jackson meant business, he meant business. Nothing too physical, but enough to get the point across that your boyfriend (now ex) had made a great mistake in letting you go. Once the conversation had finished, he rushed back to you. That night, you opened your heart to Jackson, something you realised you should’ve done ages ago. He had been there from the start and he was going to be there until the end.

*To your ex* “Listen here you little shit. Did you ever realise how every guy wanted to be you because of the girl you were with? Did you ever realise that everyday I envied you because you got to her first? Well now every guy, including me, looks at you like you’re an idiot, a moron, a tool and did I mention a twat?”

♡+:｡.｡Jinyoung! ｡.｡:+♡*♥

Jinyoung had told you many, many times that he wasn’t good enough for you. And now, snuggled up on your sofa with a gallon of ice cream and tissues, alone, you wished you’ve listened to him. Jinyoung knew something was wrong when you didn’t reply to his texts or answer his calls. That’s when he started to get worried. So he made his way over to your house with you answering the door not looking like you usually do. Almost immediately, he knew what had happened and pulled you into a tight hug. In all honestly you really needed one at this moment and was thankful that Jinyoung didn’t brag about being right. He forced you to go shower and put some clothes on whilst he ordered a pizza. You two talked all night and woke up with your head nuzzled in his chest. And it felt completely right and normal.

“Even if they don’t see how amazing you are, I always will”

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡Youngjae! +..｡*ﾟ+

Youngjae had no intention of using threats or violence to treat this situation. Although he thought your ex was a huge douche, he had to focus on you and making you the Y/n that he always knew and loved. He wasn’t going to lie though, he was happy that your boyfriend had left you. Not because he was mean and spiteful and wanted you to be unhappy but he knew that you deserved better and he knew that your boyfriend would mess up eventually so now was his time to pick up the pieces and make you see that he had been the one you had been looking for. Youngjae showed sympathy and care to your case. He listened to everything you had to say until he couldn’t hold himself any longer. He leaned in slowly and met your lips with his…

“Forgive me Y/n but I craved your kiss..”

✿✼:*BamBam! *:✼✿

When BamBam heard a knock at his door at 4 in the morning, he almost sensed that it would be you. You and your boyfriend had been having some problems this past month and tonight was the night you had finally had enough of it. You had walked out without any thought of what you were going to do, where you were going to go or how you were going to get there. You decided to go to BamBams as he only lived down the street and was one of your best friends. Bambam knew about the fights and told you that he was always on call whenever you needed him. So here you were, on his couch with tears falling down your cheeks eating a tub of ice cream. What. A. Movie. Scene. BamBam sat next to you rubbing your back and nodding his head at your words of ranting. He had a major crush on you but decided to push those feelings aside for a moment. You were sensitive and in a vulnerable state. Acting on his feelings now would be taking advantage, and that wasn’t BamBam’s style

“I wish you could see how much people appreciate you.”

☆♬○♩●Yugyeom! ●☆♬○♩

Ever since you had met your boyfriend, Yugyeom had been avoiding you big time. He just didn’t want to see other people hug and kiss you when he knew that that should be him. His texts were short and simple, he usually stayed behind the boys when you all met up and when you hugged him goodbye, he always tensed up. At first you thought nothing of it but then it became infuriating. You had done nothing wrong! Long story short, you two ended up fighting and losing touch.. until the present day. Your boyfriend had kicked you out and you were wondering the streets like a headless chicken. Bringing out your phone, you scrolled through the contacts until his name came up. Forgetting all about the feud, you tapped his name and let the phone ring. Yugyeom was sprung awake by his phone ringing and when he saw your name, he was surprised but answered nonetheless. “Yugyeom, I’m sorry for ringing you at this time but I had no where to go and I’m scared.” By this time you were crying your eyes out. Quickly, he sprung out of bed, threw some sweatpants on and ran out of the door.

“Y/n calm down, I’m coming to get you, where are you?”

(I feel like doing a whole big imagine on this one, let me know what you guys think?)

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randisnotonfire-blog · 7 years

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Wrong Love Final Chapter? Pt.1/2? Eddie Kaspbrak X Reader Modern AU

Summary: Ah, finally, it’s fall and you all are finally 19 or 20. Your favorite season, is what you thought...That damn clown decides to come back because apparently you and everyone thought you killed him, but you didn’t. This all leads down to a reunion of the Losers club even though sadly Bev isn’t there to make you feel like not the only girl in the entire group. (Also sorry if this is shitty asf bc I didn’t plan for a part 4 :/ ) Bill made the stupid decision of having everyone go down to the Neibolt house for one “last” time to kill the fucking clown. Which this causes some horrible things to happen that includes your fear. Death.

Pairings: Eddie Kasprak X Reader, Richie Tozier X Reader

Warnings: Death, cursing, triggering scenes, chaos, some harm, graphic descriptions I guess, spoopy scenes, me trying to add in some humor to a sad and spoopy fic, and anything else that you would expect in this series!

Requested: Yes

Song: Afraid by The Neighborhood, and Suckerz by Blackbear

Authors Note, descriptive warning: Okay so hey there, honestly I felt so bland if you can even say that, writing this. I don’t know what it was, shit happens I guess you can say. Okay so this might be a little bit too long but whatever lol: So as you may know there will be a death part in this. It will be triggering to some people, even I had to get up and question what the hell was I writing. No I am not a psychopath for writing this, this is actually something that I have been questioning a lot lately; What happens when we die? Sorry if that just gave you a existential crisis, but I am being serious about this since it is not a funny topic to be discussing with someone. I do know that I need to get help about it but I feel better writing out what’s going on in reality, my thoughts, and my depression if that all makes sense. Me and my non online best friend were discussing this during lunch class on Friday but the topic then got quickly pushed passed to a new topic when my friend noticed how my attitude changed, thankfully, but still its serious as I said. I had cried one day just thinking that we will all die lately and this is a now VERY serious reason why I can’t even handle and talk about death now. But I am okay with telling you guys for some reason but yeah lets just get writing, okay? Trust me I am fine if you have any questions just tell me also I WILL talk to a professional about this so don’t even think about contacting someone for me.

This chapter contains triggering scenes/parts, so if you are sensitive to this please DO NOT read on. And if you are then you have been warned. Please do not try to recreate anything that goes on in this, thank you for listening to me.

(gif credits to rightful owner <3)

* * *

Before:

“Okay so why are we here?” Stan said after almost 3 hours of just hanging out and relaxing in the quarry. “Yeah we should hurry up and get home soon, its completely dark outside since this was pointless” Richie said, you rolled your eyes. “Stop it you guys, and I think we all know why we are here” Eddie said while you walked over to him. “I’m tired Eddie” You whispered in his ear as he grasped ahold of your hand. “I know” He mumbled. “And I still wonder how Eddie out of our group got a girlfriend” Richie said trying to make a joke but everyone was being serious. “Last night…” Eddie said then Richie shuffled his hands through his hair from being nervous just to confront everyone about what happened. Eddie motioned for him to say what he did as everyone else just looked at each other but mainly just looking at Richie, “Dude I can’t tell them” Richie said quietly but stern, “Just tell them” Stan said awkward patting Richie’s shoulder. “Wait you know!? Y/n who did you tell!?” Richie said loudly from stress. “Just Eddie, but Stan just found out” you said quietly, shuffling your feet through the grass and dirt, “Just fucking tell them Rich!” Eddie said getting a little bit pissed off from Richie’s actions. “T-this is s-stupid” Bill said pointing to the three of you, “Fine!” Richie said rather loudly. “I fucking hit Y/n, are you happy that I told you now?!” Richie said yelling at everyone. You rested your head on Eddie’s shoulder. “I wish this was just a bad dream” you whispered to Eddie, trying to hide your face from everyone. Everyone was wordless, “You are all just a bunch of assholes” Richie said before walking away from the motionless astounded group. “S-seriously? Y-y/n d-did Richie rea-really do t-that?” Bill managed to speak out. You nodded and watched as everyone said their goodbyes and goodnights and left except for Stan.

“Sorry Y/n” Stan said as he lightly punched your shoulder lightly, “Night” he said when he walked off and waved.

“Come on Y/n lets leave” Eddie said as he took your hand and walked off with you to his house.

Extended:

“Eddie honestly I don’t think I want to deal with this drama anymore...” you said softly when you both walked into your house. “W-what do you mean?” he said with nervousness flooding through the pastel voice Eddie had. “I mean that I don’t want to be around anymore! Couldn’t you tell that I have been stressed and this bullshit with all these TV stereo typical love shit like fucking Twilight is stupid. I didn’t sign up for this when I decided to hang out with your friends and I don’t even want to be around them anymore Eddie. I can’t deal with these, You and Richie are like the worst part of my life now!” You tried not to yell but instead you felt stressful tears fall down from both of you. “If that’s what you really fucking want Y/n then I’m done with your drama, you can deal with Richie on your own” He poked your chest when he said ‘You’ then left slamming the door shut. You had never felt this regretful in your entire life.

* * *

You peared looking out your foggy early morning window, watching a specific golden leaf fall that had caught your attention. “Y/n?” Eddie said as he walked into your room to see you sitting at one of your chairs, looking outside. “mhm?” You said softly. “Your mom said I could come in” “Okay” “are you okay?” He said as he sat on the floor next to you. “Yeah I guess...why are you even here though...” “You haven’t been answering my calls...” You opened your mouth to speak but it closed in fear of telling him the real truth: that you have been staying in your room for the entire week watching TV and browsing your social medias, avoiding him at school. And this was all because of that one night. “I’m sorry Eddie..for everything” You said as you averted your attention to him. Remembering that night after the drama filled week, when Eddie crawled back to you because he thought he had been the main source of all of this made you still heartbroken for saying those hurtful words to him. “It’s fine but your mom wants us to come downstairs” you nodded then got up from your sitting position and left the room with Eddie.

“Hi sweetie” Your mom said with a smile as she finished chopping up some food for dinner tonight. “Hey” “Eddie wanted to know if you both could go out, so I said only if it was okay with you” You nodded then said sure. “so do you want to leave now” “Yeah” “Okay be safe and please make smart choices, bye Eddie and tell your mom I said ‘Hi’ okay?” you rolled your eyes at your moms total obliviousness for being over-protective. “I will Mrs. L/n (last name)” You smiled then he grabbed your hand in a hurry to leave. When you guys got outside you quickly let go of his. “Where are we going and why did you do that? My mom knows about the fight and the breakup Eddie...She was at the house..during the fight..it was awkward having to explain to her..” “She knows everything?!” Eddie said as he let go of your hand too. “Yeah, she does. Now tell me where we are going before I go walk back home” You said. “Neibolt house...” you rolled your eyes thinking he had to have been lying to you. “I’m being serious Y/n..Wait don’t you have that nail bat in your garage?” “Yeah...” You said trying not to think about the last time you got dragged there, how your fear then was clowns and now it’s death. “Go get it..” You rolled your eyes yet again since he wanted you to have a weapon at least. “Fine” you muttered then ran back to get it, then ran back again back to him.

* * *

“We’re here” Eddie said as he looked at Bill then at Mike. “Good” “Okay so why are we here?” You interrupted their planning time. “why else do you think we are here Y/n” Richie hissed. “Shut up, and the clown. Don’t you remember?” Stan said and smiled from seeing your presence after two years without the Losers club. “Yeah obviously” “Has she always been this bitchy?” Richie whispered loudly to Mike. “Shut up Richie” Mike hissed back, Richie shrugged his shoulders. “W-wh-we need to h-hu-hurry up” Bill stuttered out. You all nodded your heads in agreement. Eddie grasped your hand before you all walked in, giving you a small smile you gave him a smile back. You picked up your nailed bat and walked in with him.

Walking in you checked your phone to see what time it was, but saw that you received no signal in there gave you chills. Putting your phone back in your back pocket of your ripped jeans you looked around. “This place is even more shitty than I remember, if that’s even possible” You muttered. “Yeah...” Eddie said as he saw the dusty book shelves and the broken TV. “Ke-keep your b-bat with y-yo-you Y-y/n” Bill said quietly. Richie was walking around and ended up getting split up with the rest of the group. Stan stayed closer to you than possible, and this was only because he and Eddie were the only two people out of the group who REALLY did care about your safety. “Where did trashmouth go..?” Eddie said as he let go of your hand to try and find him. “I think he went upstairs” you spoke when you felt the softness leave your hand. Then suddenly Mike got split up from the others, then the same happened for everyone else. Stan went looking for Bill,Mike went looking for you, and Eddie went looking for Richie. Which left you alone upstairs, straight to the point you were upstairs in a locked room.

“Get away” you screamed at the top of your lungs when you saw a man who represented your fear. Death, murders, and being forgotten. You don’t know what struct your fear for being murdered but it all just happened when your friend died in a car crash. Thinking about dying and never knowing what will happen after left you in tears from that day. You were screaming and crying whilst banging on the door in hopes it would open up. You heard yelling outside the door, it was everyone and they all sounded scared and worried as hell. Anxiety rode up on you like a jackass trying to get around your car but instead their car is so close to yours. “Somebody please help me!” You cried out. When the door finally busted open everything went black. Your last thoughts were: “I’m dead, this is the end of Y/n.” Everyone screamed when they saw blood and your body. Some were motionless but everything was too real that it made it scary. “S-so-somebody d-do s-so-something!” Bill screamed. Eddie was in tears and ran out but ended up falling just like the first time this happened. Then he screamed and Richie came running to help him. Mike just stood there motionless because this reminded him of all that happened to his family. Bill and Stan tried to wake you up but failed. “M-my mom s-said that i-if you c-check someone’s p-pulse it t-tells you if they ar-are dead” Stan said, he only stuttered when he was nervous or scared. Bill nodded and checked your pulse but received nothing “SHE IS FUCKING DEAD!!” Stan screamed at the top of his lungs. Mike was crying and everything was a full on chaotic mess. Quickly Stan yelled at Mike to help them pick you up to at least get you all outside and somewhat safe.

* * *

“Richie I said there is a fucking inhaler in the second fanny pack outside!” Eddie screamed in between breathes. “OKAY OKAY I WILL GO GET IT” Richie said running outside. “Don’t forget the fucking bat!” Mike yelled. “Pick the damn thing up then!” Stan yelled at him back, then Mike picked it up and helped them carry you downstairs. “Y/n?” Eddie said when he saw Bill and Stan trying to carry your limp and heavy body downstairs. “What the fuck!” Richie screamed then threw Eddie’s fanny pack at Eddie. He caught the fanny pack then tried his best to get his inhaler. When he found it he practically took all the air the inhaler had. “Here” Mike gave Richie the nailed bat. “Is she even breathing!?” “Can’t Eddie like give her his inhaler?” Richie said. “Nah dipshit!” Eddie yelled when he saw your limp hand move from Bill and Stan trying to move outside. Then to make everything worse that fucking demon clown appeared. This was some Stranger Things shit because that fucking clown was coming out of the wall. “What the-AHHHHHHH” Eddie screamed at the top of his lungs, he got up and bolted out of the house. Richie ended up trying to chase down Eddie to make his slow down and calm down to. Mike helped Stan and Bill get you out safely. When you were all outside Richie was still chasing Eddie to make him stop running. “EDS SLOW THE FUCK DOWN” Richie screamed at Eddie. “Is she okay, wait what do you mean she isn’t breathing?!” Mike said in a scared tone. “This is fucking stupid!” Stan said loudly then let go of your body. “I’m going home, I don’t want to touch a dead girl...” Stan said and got in car, driving off to his house. “Asshole” mike muttered then noticed your tiny body was crushing Bill. “H-help me!” Bill said while Mike went over to help up your body. “H-how are w-we g-go-going to t-tell h-he-her parents?!” Bill spazzed out. “We a-al-already l-lu-lost G-Ge-Georgie!” Bill managed to stutter out. “Calm down, we need to atleast get Richie to give us a ride to her house” “M-mu-mike HOW A-ARE WE GOING TO TELL H-HER MO-MOM!?” Bill yelled out with stress. “I got h-him” Richie said as he had Eddie following him. “He ran like a fucking mile..past 29-Neibolt street...” Richie said as his speech slowed down from running. “It’s not my fault that there was a fucking cLOWN COMING OUT OF THE WALL!” “Calm down you guys! We need a ride to Y/n’s house” Mike said then looked at the ground. “Yeah I guess you can get a ride home from me...” Richie said. “H-how are w-we going to tell Mrs. L/n (Last name)..” “We just tell her” Eddie spoke up.

The drive up there was awkward for the 4 boys to be in a car with a what seemed to be dead friend. “I can’t believe I’m in a fucking car with my dead fucking ex!” Eddie muttered. “This is crazy!” His last mutters turned his new words into slight yelling. “Calm down! We will get this taken care of!” “Mike seriously, I agree with Eddie. How the hell are we going to tell the fucking cops?! Or even her mom!?” Richie said. “All th-they will t-th-think is t-th-that w-we kil-killed h-her” Bill said softly and quietly. “See! Even Richie and Bill think this is crazy!” Eddie went to get his inhaler. “I’m fucking out!” He yelled and his breathing got worse. “Bill or Mike there should be a extra inhaler lying around in the back seat somewhere” (FUCKING REDDIE RIGHT THERE M8 OFC RICHIE WOULD HAVE AN EXTRA INHALER!! lmao) “Okay”

* * *

Richie nearly ran over a old ladys mailbox when parking, “Slow down man!” Mike yelled. “Shush it I know how to drive!” Eddie rolled his eyes. “I don’t feel good about this...” Eddie said quietly. “You’re the one who said we do this!” Richie said as he turned off the car and turned to look at everyone else, and at your dead body...”Who votes that Eddie tells Y/n’s mom?” Richie spoke up. Everyone raised their hand and Eddie groaned. “You guys suck” (Insert Richie making another dick joke lmao) “Not as hard as I do” Richie said with a smirk. “Toizer, are you hinting that you’re gay?” Mike said (Eddie needs his gay inhaler rn during this part lmao). He rolled his eyes then Eddie got out of the car.

When Eddie knocked on the door his entire heart sunk and he felt the need to cry. In Eddie’s mind he was just thinking that this was stupid, like seriously? Showing up at your ex girlfriend’s house to tell her MOTHER that she is fucking dead because of a psycho ass bitch clown? He took a deep sigh then the door swung open. It. Was. Her. Fucking. Dad. Eddie was now screaming internally. “H-hey Mr. L/n” Eddie forced himself to give out a pain-killing smile. “Hiya Eddie, where is Y/n” Your dad said. “YourdaughterisfuckingdeadtherewasafuckingclownthatkilledherandIdon’tknowwhatodopleasedontfuckingkillmeiminnocentashellunlikeRichie!” Eddie said fastly before he ran back to the car before your dad grabed his shoulder, forcing him to stop. “Did you just say Y/n is dead?” your dad said sternly but concerned. “Y/m/n (Your mom’s name)” Your dad called out loudly. “Yes?” Your mom said when she walked out. “Oh hi Eddie, where is Y/n?” Your mom smiled brightly then her smile turned into a frown. “is she really dead Eddie?” Her voice cracked with depression. Eddie nodded then Richie and everyone else got out of his dumpy car. Stan, Bill, Mike, and Richie came walking up and stood next to Eddie. “Richie Tozier are you seriously okay with my ‘dead’ daughter’s body in your car?!” Your dad’s voice raised. “Y-yes. I really am. If it was anyone else then I probably wouldn’t even be able to have him or her near my car” Richie spoke the truth which made your moms heart sink. “I wouldn’t want to ever call the ambulance or the cops on you guys, but I have to” Your mom said then went inside. “Please..Come inside” Your dad motioned for them all to come inside.

They all took a seat on the couch, “Bill!” your little sister yelled out as she ran into the living room with her friend. “Y/s/n! (Your sister’s name)” Bill said when he saw the little 6 year old girl, he smiled softly when she hugged his leg since she was short for her age. “Where is Y/n?” She said then sat down next to him. As if on cue your mom came walking in and picked up Y/s/n. “S-she is at the- skate factory with her other friends” Your mom forced a fake smile and Bill nodded at her. “Thank you” he mouthed to her and your mom walked into a different room. “Why is she still at the skate factory then?” Your sister’s friend asked Bill quietly. Bill tried to not cry when he remembered seeing her play around with Georgie, when Mike saw Bill’s reaction to the little girl he chimed in. “S-she is a-uh sick..She refused t-to leave” Richie then texted Mike. “Nice reply dipshit” then when Mike got the text he responded back saying: “Bite me”

The police and ambulence sirens got louder and the little girl ran into your sister’s room. You had been quickly taken to the hospital, everybody had to tag along but your sister’s little friend couldn’t because her mom wouldn’t allow her to.

* * *

Extended:

Stan, Eddie, Richie, Your sister, mom, and dad were the people who decided to stay. Stan, Eddie, and Richie all had to watch your little sister in the waiting room while your mom and dad were talking to the doctors. “Richie wake up!” Your sister called out as she tugged on his shirt. It was 11pm and they were fighting to stay awake but Richie fell asleep knowing him. “What?” Richie said. Eddie was wide awake and nervously sitting in the middle of Stan and Richie. “Boys, me and Mr. L/n (your last name) are gonna watch Y/n’s little sister for a bit so you all can go check in on her, okay?” Your mom called out. “Richie wake the fu- I mean wake up” Eddie said as he quickly got up and walked into your room with Stan and Richie. “Y/n?” they called out but received no answer. “You guys can I have some alone time...?” Richie and Stan nodded and left.

“Y/n...I’m sorry for everything I put you through” Eddie said breaking down when he took a seat next to you. “Even though you are my moon and my stars, doesn’t mean that its wrong for you to be my ex along with that. Even though people say its considered wrong to be best friends with your ex we proved them wrong” Eddie’s voice cracked from crying. “If I knew you were going to die then my last words to you wouldn’t have been about that stupid nailed bat...” “And we all did really care about you Y/n” The tear drops from his heavy eyes fell onto your pale skin and the white bed sheets on the hospital bed. “I really do love you Y/n” and now I guess you can say that was the last words Eddie said to you. Now the sounds of the machine beeping that showed you had been alive now stopped. And everything was done. Forever.

* * *

#wrong love #eddie kaspbrak #eddie kaspbrak x reader #final chapter #richie tozier #jack dylan grazer #jack d grazer #bill denbrough #georgie denbrough #stanley uris #stan uris

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