#me: how about you finish something instead of adding a bunch of new things?

[daggerbeanart]

#dragon age #da2 #dragon age 2 #fenhawke #hawke #fenris #oc: gareth hawke #m!hawke #da fanart #dragon age fanart #sudden need to redraw this moment with them <3 #me: how about you finish something instead of adding a bunch of new things? #also me: *bugs bunny face* no

[leaderwonim]

𓇻 I’M A FEMINIST, OBVIOUSLY, BUT I WOULDN’T REALLY MIND HIM SAVING ME.

▸ PAIRING.. class president!yang jungwon x outcast!fem!reader

▸ SYNP. jang y/n hated yang jungwon. perfect, loved by everybody, class president yang jungwon. people only liked him because he was a man and he was charismatic. however, when she’s being picked on by the girls at school, yang jungwon comes to her rescue, and weirdly, she didn’t mind it?

▸ GENRE. enemies to lovers (it’s one sided though, yn just hates jw😭) angst, mentions of bullying, mentions of sexism, fluff

author’s note: this is based off of olivia rodrigo’s unreleased song! This was honestly so much fun to write and it took me about 3 days cause I fell violently ILL like the day after I started writing😭 As usual, REBLOGS and COMMENTS are so greatly appreciated <33

Jang Y/N was what people called an outcast. Although she was pretty and had the grades, she heavily disliked half of her class, which in turn, didn’t exactly make her very popular.

“I hate him.” She says as she shoves a spoonful of rice into her mouth. Her only friend was her sister, Wonyoung, who told her that she shouldn’t be so negative all the time.

“Who, Jungwon?” Wonyoung asks, frowning. “Yah Y/N, you can’t hate him forever. He’s nothing but nice to you.”

“I don’t care,” Y/N mumbles angrily, putting away her lunch. “Wonyo, people only like him because he’s a man who can say a few charming words. He smiles and at least half of our class falls onto their knees or something.”

Wonyoung chokes at her sister’s comparison, and can’t help but let out a little laugh. “I’m just saying Y/nie, you can’t just despise him because he seems perfect to the naked eye. In fact, I say become friends with him. It’ll be good for you.”

Y/N shuts down the idea right away, much to Wonyoung’s dismay.

“I am just saying,” Wonyoung stands up, finished with her lunch. “I mean, don’t you find it sad? That you eat lunch everyday with your sister instead of eating with friends or a boyfriend?”

“No,” Y/N says, frowning. “I like eating lunch with you Wonyo.”

“Hm, I guess.”

The Jang sisters lock arms, strolling to their next class. They miss the longing glance that Yang Jungwon sends towards Y/N’s direction, already too far gone into the Decelis Academy hallway.

‏‏‎ ‎

Unfortunately for Y/N, she had her leadership class with Jungwon, where they would discuss things like student politics and how to better the school so that Decelis could stay at its rightful place of number one on private academy rankings.

It was stupid, Y/N thought, Decelis shouldn’t even be close to number one, this school was filled with a bunch of spoilt children who were obsessed with the idea of money and power.

“Is there a problem, Miss. Jang?” The teacher asks, noticing the little scoffs she was adding each time Jungwon spoke about an initiative he wanted to add.

“No,” Y/N shrugs. “I just think Yang Jungwon’s new initiative is just a waste of time. It's not going to solve anything.”

Jungwon smirks, something that Y/N so desperately wants to wipe the floor with. “Y/N, always the critic of my ideas. Very well, let’s hear your brilliant solution.”

She rolls her eyes. Of course Yang Jungwon wanted to pretend to remain civil, if he had blown up on her, it would’ve tarnish his reputation, and Yang Jungwon would be nothing without his reputation, right?

“Instead of your one-size-fits-all approach method, we need personalized mentorship programs. Each student faces unique challenges, and your initiative doesn't address that.”

Jungwon smiles. “Well I suppose you’re right. But perhaps if you actually joined the initiative, you'd understand its effectiveness.”

Y/N grits her teeth, not enjoying how much Yang Jungwon was enjoying this. “Oh, right, because following the herd blindly is the key to success? Unlike half of Decelis’ population, I prefer independent thinking.”

The boy leans closer in, face almost touching the girl. “Sometimes collaboration is the key to progress, Y/N. Try it sometime.”

The two students make eye contact until Y/N breaks, finally pulling her eyes away.

“As usual, Yang Jungwon always has to be right.” She mumbles under her breath. “God, please save me from being in this class any longer,”

‏‏‎ ‎

Y/N throws her backpack on the floor as soon as she steps into her house, not caring about the expensive computer her grandmother had bought her last Christmas that was stuffed inside. Her parents were in the kitchen, discussing something in hushed whispers, almost as if it was top secret.

Always being the curious child, she leans onto the wall that separated the living room and kitchen, trying to make out what the topic was about.

“I’m just worried honey,” she can hear her mom say as her dad rubs her back comfortingly. “Y/N doesn’t have a lot of friends at that school, Wonyoung told me about it. You know she only hangs out with her sister and that’s it?”

“I mean, is it really that bad that she only hangs out with Wonyoung? She’s always been quiet, I think we’ve just got to respect that. She’s an excellent student anyway, there’s no harm in having little friends.”

Although her parents truly just wanted the best for her, Y/N felt like a complete loser by how they were going about it.

She quickly rushed to her room, biting her lip in annoyance at how everybody seemed to have an opinion about her life. She was happy with how it was going, and she didn’t care that her only friend was her sister, Wonyoung was a sweetheart and lived with her, it was a built in best friend for life.

“Just you wait,” Y/N huffs, sharpening her pencil. “I’m gonna go to university, leave this place, and I won’t have to hear about any of these kids ever again.”

‏‏‎

Y/N woke up the next day with a red eye, probably from crying last night despite telling herself she didn’t care.

She cared, a lot.

Romanticizing being alone was fun until she realized that she was truly all alone, with no friends to lean on.

“Is that Jang Y/N?”

Park Jiwon. The devil herself. She was evil as she was pretty, and she had no problem making Y/N’s life a living hell.

“Where’s Wonyoung? Did your own sister finally get tired of you?” Her little group of minions laugh as if it was the funniest thing ever, and Y/N tries and stops herself from giving them all a swing to the face.

“No, but I’m sure you’re used to that feeling, right Jiwon?”

“Oh you little b—”

“Jiwon, you can’t hit her! You’ll get suspended and it’ll go on your permanent record.” Her friend says, which makes the girl straighten up right away.

“You’re lucky Jang,” the girl snarls. “But yah, what were you thinking? Talking back to Jungwon? He’s so smart and handsome, dedicating his time to make initiatives for the school. You should be more grateful.”

She and her minions get so close that they practically push Y/N back onto the locker, suffocating her with their glares.

“Hey, what’s going on here?” The voice of Jungwon doesn’t go unnoticed by a single girl, who, all but Y/N, straighten up their hair when they realize he’s behind them.

“We’re just talking, right Y/N?” Jiwon says, pinching onto the girl tightly.

“Really? It doesn’t seem like it.” Jungwon rolls his eyes. “Park Jiwon, don’t make me give you detention for picking on other students. It doesn’t make you attractive.”

The girl gasps, immediately letting Y/N go as her face heats up in embarrassment.

“I wasn’t—”

“Just go.” With one point of a finger, Yang Jungwon got Park Jiwon and her minions out of the hallway, leaving Y/N and him alone.

“You okay?” He asks her, eyes concerned.

“Thank you,” she breathes out. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Why didn’t I?” He raises his eyebrows. “You were getting picked on.”

“Well, I’m not the nicest to you.” The girl says, suddenly embarrassed. “At all, actually. So thank you Jungwon, really.”

“Ah,” the boy smiles. “It’s nothing. I don’t hate you if that’s what you think, I think you have a brilliant mind just like me.”

And for the first time since she’s stepped into the school, Jang Y/N finds herself liking Yang Jungwon, and not just for his looks.

‏‏‎

“Y/N!” The loud voice of Yang Jungwon doesn’t go by Wonyoung, who gives her sister a smirk as she slightly pushes back her shoulder.

“Wonder why he’s coming,” she teases, which makes Y/N scrunch up her nose in annoyance.

“Would you like to come with me to this new bread place?” He asks, hands on his knees as he catches his breath. “Sorry—I ran all the way from the cabinet office to here.”

“It’s alright,” Y/N giggles, which makes Wonyoung’s eyes pop out of their sockets because she swears she never heard that sound coming from her sister’s mouth before. “I’d love to Jungwon.”

“Great! I’ll uh.. I’ll see you later!”

Wonyoung turns to face Y/N as soon as Jungwon leaves, giving her the biggest grin ever. “What was that?!”

“Let’s just say, I don’t hate Yang Jungwon anymore.” Y/N smiles, laughing as she watches Wonyoung’s jaw practically drop to the ground.

‏‏‎

“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Jungwon says as he and Y/N walk to the new bread place.

“Yes,” Y/N puffs out, “I should’ve brought a jacket.”

Before she knew it, Jungwon already takes off his jacket and wraps it around the girl’s shoulder.

“Jungwon,” she whines, “then you’ll be cold!”

“It’s alright really!” He laughs, giving her a big smile. “I’m practically invincible to cold. Was just asking because you seemed to be freezing.”

“You’re sweet,” she says, looking down at her feet. “I feel really guilty for trying to one up up all the time or prove you wrong. I just hate it, you know?”

“Hate what?”

“You might not realize it but a lot of people don’t want to hear what I say because I’m a woman, and that’s it. Just because I’m a woman. Like sometimes, I have ideas just as brilliant and changing as yours, but everybody says I’m complaining and over analyzing. When you say it, with your handsome face and clear voice, everybody’s suddenly entranced, and they’re so interested in school politics.”

“So you think I’m handsome?”

Y/N rolls her eyes, pushing back Jungwon slightly as he laughs.

“I’m kidding, Y/N. I know what you mean now. I’m sorry that I can’t change how people view and perceive things, but I want you to know that I listen to your ideas, that I care. You might not realize this either but whenever you’re talking, I always listen. Like your initiative about bringing better programs into the school, I listened through the whole thing because I just—I’m inlove with the way you articulate things and the way you speak. If I was half as good at speaking my mind like you were, I’d be unstoppable. You’re a great person, Y/N, and I’m so glad I’m able to see that.”

The way Yang Jungwon speaks about her makes Y/N want to cry and smother him in a hug, which she does a second later by bringing him into a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you Jungwon.” She says, face in his neck. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He feels like he’s out of breath by how close the two of them were, his heartbeat racing by each second that passed. “I’d do anything for you, Y/N.”

‏‏‎

“Hey!” Y/N is practically used to seeing Yang Jungwon come up to her everyday now, the two even spending lunch together every two days.

“What’s up Yang?” She says, noticing a packet of papers in his hand.

“You know your feedback on my initiative? Your personalized mentorship program idea! The headmaster really liked it and he’s implementing it starting next semester with your name as the credit on it!”

Y/N’s eyes widen in joy, shrieking as her hands unconsciously come in contact with Jungwon’s, the two holding both of each other’s hands tightly as they jumped in happiness.

“You’re amazing Yang Jungwon!” She says giddily, “you really are.”

The two of them stop to stare at one another for a brief second before Jungwon finds himself leaning in, closing the gap between their lips.

When they pull away, the smiles on their faces never fades, Jungwon’s dimple ever so prominent.

“I love you,” Y/N breathes out. “My wonderful class president.”

And although Y/N is a feminist, obviously, she wouldn’t mind a man like Yang Jungwon saving her, for he taught her what love was like, and that she should never ever settle for less.

#enhypen x reader #enhypen texts #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #enhypen #enhypen x female reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x you #enhypen x gender neutral reader #enhypen fic #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen au #jungwon #enhypen jungwon #jungwon x reader #jungwon x you #jungwon x y/n #jungwon imagines #jungwon fluff #jungwon angst #jungwon fanfic

[4w25-cc]

Perfect Perimeter Furniture Set

Started working on this set on November 24 and finished just now. The shadows I mentioned in the previous post turned out nice. I delivered.

I love low-poly modeling. Simulating and sculpting surely are awesome, but low-poly also covers my obsession with numbers. I can calculate exact coordinates for each face, and the only thing standing between me and perfection is -0.0000005 in the Transform field when something is moved to global 0. Man…

I meshed this cute set and adjusted it to the game's sizes. Tried something new with texture baking, approved the result. Visited Sims 4 Studio forum to read random tutorials and got a huge déjà vu feeling from witnessing someone trying to delete shadow groups. Does anybody still remember the apocalypse of glitching accessories in The Sims 2 caused by creators deleting lens group from cloned glasses instead of hiding it? Different year, same kind of tinkering. It was the first thing my best friend reminded me about when I was making my first ever ice cream earrings back in 2014, 9 years ago. They are lost and gone, just like my old content for The Sims 4, though. Speaking of it, I think a random person on the internet might have more of my files saved than I do.

The prices for these items are higher than usual because I added positive environment scores to all of them, which base game objects mostly don't have. This logic is a bit weird to me. You're buying an expensive piece of furniture, and it doesn't contribute to your mood? Guess I'll fix this for myself. The numbers are realistic, so you can still use this set in legacy challenges. You're paying extra for less comfort and more happiness, just like in real life.

I cloned objects with preferred tunings and removed occluders from them after reading about how problematic they are. All the items got their footprint and fading distance adjusted. I figured out logic for perfectly calculated slots, and I'm quite satisfied with it. The shelf is a functioning bookshelf with a bunch of slots.

Other than living room furniture, I want to create dining, kitchen, and bathroom sets. I do have pictures in my head already (I don't use references), so I just need to sit down and mesh them. Let's hope real life won't turn into yet another hell ride right after I post this. Actually, the ride never ended, I just got a grip.

There are the swatches and a detailed spreadsheet you can refer to to see what has been changed in the packages. My spreadsheet addiction from Genshin Impact kicked in at some point…

DOWNLOAD

PATREON | INSTAGRAM | PINTEREST

#sims 4 #ts4 #s4 #sims 4 cc #ts4 cc #s4cc #sims 4 furniture

[kleefkruid]

I'm practising American Traditional tattoo design again, and it always feels odd to me to start bc unlike other illustrations where I tend to start from scratch, the whole thing of trad design is using existing designs and adding your own thing to it, either by, like I am doing here, taking over a pose, or taking an existing design, for instance a classic snake, and putting it in a different pose, or drawing something new but using elements and the general style (I'm not there yet, that's why I am doing studies)

It still feels weird bc I have the "I'm not allowed to copy other people" reflex still, even tough I have gotten better at just taking inspiration from other people, but here it's literally what you're supposed to do, the designs I'm using literally come from a flash book that has a bunch of designs in color and linework, assembled exactly for this! the authors note even ends like:

and honestly it's silly that it's my art academy mind that makes me insecure about this, while I learned there about how for most of art history you studied as an apprentice under another artists, by copying their existing work and even adding to their current work. Tattooing is just one of the last art diciplines where you get taught the trade by someone(s), and you also get schooled by people who aren't even alive... Everyone adding their unique elements, and building on the art as a whole. I think it's pretty beautiful and I hope we can bring it back to the general art scéne.

Anyway, I'm going off a tangent again instead of finishing my drawing, my apologies, they made me write too many essays at the academy and secretly I miss it. But in closing I would like to say that anyone who ever feels like they want to go off something I drew but feel weird about it, you absolutely can and I'd love to see the results even! xoxo

#illustration #tattoo flash #american traditional #my work #daily life

[jupiter-va]

hi!!!! so ik your focus is on audios (which are absolutely amazing btw) but i was wondering if you could maybe explain how you color/render your artwork? i’m new to digital art and have been struggling a bit. if not that’s totally okay!! i understand <3

Hi! I totally can, though this is gonna get long lol. I tried going in depth? I'm not too great at explaining things so I'm 100% cool with clarifying things if needed. This isn't TLOU art, I was re watching Devilman Crybaby and sketched this out last night. I saw this ask right as I was about to start so the timing was perfect lol

I'm gonna try to go step by step? I haven't rendered digitally in a while, mostly just sketching. Also, this is kinds rushed, it's late, but it explains everything (I hope?)

1.After I do my sketch, I do a fuck ton of blending. It helps me build shadows/depth and I also just like the way it looks. (I also duplicated my sketch in case I mess up and can't go all the way back)

2. Ok, a lot happened, I zoned out, but I swear it's not a lot. I use a grey base on one layer. I clipped color layer to the grey base so that I wouldn't go out of the lines

I changed the line art color to a reddish-brown (which helps me with blending into the skin later) and I added the base color and certain tones.

This character is on the paler side, so a lot of the colors I'm gonna use are cool (blues, greens). And I'm gonna use a ton of red(bc blood flow, and a ton of blush is a stylistic choice for me).

Note: Instead of going straight in with a blending brush, I use transition colors. Blending brushes are good too, I used one for blending the initial sketch, but transitional colors just make everything flow a bit better than just blending two completely different colors. (Color pick between different shades/colors to blend, its tedious but it's what I do)

3. I created a multiply layer and deepened the shadows a bit using the same color as the base skin color, and I made a highlight layer as well (the opacity is pretty low on both the highlight and the shadow layer, you gotta mess around with it)

Has it felt like I've been rendering this entire time?? Absolutely. Have I? No.

I make the initial stages of my drawing all annoying so that when I get to the *checks notes* 8th layer, I can just do the fun stuff. I'm not done at all, but the rendering layer itself is pretty simple, I just add all the stuff that makes the drawing look less dull. Adding more pinkish color on the lips, nose and cheeks. Bringing back a lot of green and blue (that's just a style thing, also there is a 9th layer but thats just the little white highlights)

This definitely isn't the "correct" way to do this (there is no right way), but it's how I do it. I would show how I render hair but:

1.I have no clue what I'm doing when I do it, I just fuck around until it looks decent (even more so than I do with the skin)

and

2.My chair is hurting my butt

All in all, you just gotta practice a bunch and figure out what you like. Using pinterest and Youtube helps me a lot when I'm stuck or need a refresher💕

Again, please let me know if I need to explain something better, I'm not great at teaching stuff like this😅

I might finish this, I probably won't, but if I do, I'll post the full thing.

Update: I finished

#✧˖°. ask #✧˖°.anon #✧˖°. art questions #devilman crybaby #akira fudo

[zeawesomebirdie]

hi !!!! did NOT consider you might like to have the ask again to answer it. if you do:

seeing you post about your old west au is motivating me to at least draft my stuff out for my fic, too!!! so, firstly: good god thank you. secondly, what kind of drafting process do you normally go through? you don't have to answer this but everyone i know is pretty particular about how they write so i'm always curious!!!

Gosh okay I'm still so embarrassed about accidentally posting this before it was ready!! Lesson learned: only work on long posts on desktop (very affectionate). I'm going to copy paste what I had originally said, but there will be added stuff because it wasn't anywhere near ready to go (if you thought it was long before, honey you ain't seen nothing yet!)

Also I still am so proud of you for working on your fic, we are writing buddies now hand in lovable hand I love you thank you for enabling my rambling <33

Buckle in, here we go!

SO! My drafting process is always a moving target. I do what works best for the work in question, and things change depending on my energy and fatigue levels plus my motivation and interest levels

So that said, right now my process usually looks like:

ramble at someone in DMs, copy and paste rambles into a google doc for safekeeping and marinating

zero draft, aka word vomit until a plot forms, block out actions and the occasional dialog, determine chapter and story arcs

first draft, aka Where The Real Writing Happens

optional second draft, but only if the fic is under 10k

line edits

post :)

find a bunch of typos that I somehow missed during line editing, fix those before anyone notices

I will be showing examples because this is a bit hard to explain and Extremely Intense to a lot of people, and yeah that's because it is! I approach writing fanfic the same way I approach writing original fiction, and I find it works best for me as a plotter

If you are metaphorically inclined and familiar with oil painting: I write the way an oil painter paints. First I block in the big shapes, the gestures, and the colours. Then I come back in subsequent drafts and increase the detail until I'm done!

Further information and actual examples of my drafts will be below the cut, because this is gonna be super long and I love talking shop ^.^

And general content warning for non-graphic violence and graphic smut (and shitty early drafts); the examples are from Bruce Wayne/Dick Grayson fics

So before we get into the zero draft, I want to point out two things: first, I do full rewrites. This is why writing takes me one million years. I retype each and every word in each and every draft. Second, I'm actually trying something new with the Old West!AU, for reasons I will explain in a moment!

I started doing full rewrites in 2019 after a college writing course, in which we read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott; she encourages the reader to embrace the shitty first draft. I ended up really benefiting from a zero draft too, something I first learned about in 2020 from someone on authortube who I no longer remember the name of. The zero draft is essentially a pre-draft, in which one gets the gist of the story out of their system before the prose clogs up the spigot

For me, zero drafts are something that need to be finished as fast as possible in order to get done at all, so due to the sheer length of the Old West!AU, I'm trying out writing little bullet points instead of my full zero drafting. Right now this fic is at 27 chapters, and this is part 1 of 3 total. I will be going back and filling in the actual blocking once I have all the scenes roughly accounted for

Context for the Old West!AU: Bruce is the Bat, a vigilante gunman who only kills when he needs to but still has the fastest draw on this side of the Mississippi. Now that he's taken care of the man who killed his parents, he's returned home to his Uncle Alfred and gone straight, meaning that he's hung up his guns and gone back to homesteading the family land. He adopts Dick and then a year later Jason as well, when small burglaries start happening in town, so he takes the Bat out of retirement and goes to investigate.

My bullet points started out like this:

Open on comparison between Bruce's first gun and the Bat's guns. Introduce Joe Chill, general drunkard. The Bat calls out Chill, shootout, Chill is killed. Chill drew first. Moment of reflection between Bruce's first gunfight at 15 to this one, at 21. Bruce goes home.

And that's the whole entire first chapter!

However, now they look more like:

The Sheriff runs up and shoots at him. The Bat has him disarmed with his own gun barrel to his throat in an instant. It doesn't take the Bat much time to get info out of him either. The burglar is only going after small change, not enough to be noticeable. That rules out the gambler, easily. The Sheriff can't do shit about it, because no one is willing to start an investigation for such small change. The Bat shoves the Sheriff to his knees and is gone before he notices. Alfred is waiting for him when he gets home, and asks. Bruce tries to deny it, but the clothes are in his hands and he can't. So he sighs and says he may have made a promise, but… there might be more to this than there seems, okay? He just… has a bad feeling about it. Alfred can't accept this, what about his sons? Bruce can't take this, and tells him he doesn't have to. Their yelling wakes up Dick and Jason, who stand in the doorway to their bedroom and look on with the door mostly closed.

Eventually both Alfred and Bruce yell each other out, and they sit down for coffee as dawn breaks. Bruce breaks the silence first, saying Alfred is right. Alfred tells him he understands. Bruce decides to let the Bat go for real now.

This is about half of the chapter, and closer to the blocking I normally do in zero drafts

So far this pre-zero draft seems to be working, given I've already finished part 1, but I also can't wait to come back and do the blocking in because that's when the fic really starts to take shape!

Usually though, I just start with a zero draft. I'm going to show you two different fics for the zero draft examples, because they were done differently, and like I said at the beginning, I try to adjust my process based on what is called for by what I'm writing

This first is from the fic I'm writing for @ful-crum. It's a 5+1, in which it is five times Dick fucks Bruce to distract him from discussing his emotions plus one time they actually discuss their emotions and then fuck about it.

Tim and Jason turn up an hour later, and they're incredibly concerned. Dick waves them off. Tim takes him at his word and heads to bed (he has a meeting with Wayne Tech at 8am tomorrow, ugh), but Jason sits down next to the bed and asks Dick what he thinks Bruce is going to say. Dick tells him he's not sure, I mean, it's B, y'know? Jason just nods, and they lapse into silence. Then Steph and Cass come in, and Bruce is most noticeably not present. Cass signs something about bed, and Steph tells Dick that she's worried about Bruce, to which Jason snorts and says they all are, but she insists that Dick talk to him. Dick doesn't even need to take more than a moment to decide that won't be happening. But Steph goes to bed, and it's nearly 04:00 when Jason heads up too, saying he'd love to help Dick lecture Bruce about staying out late but he's got stuff to do tomorrow. Dick asks if he wants to know what stuff, and Jason gives him a smirk and says ask him no questions and he'll tell him no lies. Dick can live with that.

As you can see, this is just general staging directions and vibes

This second example was supposed to be for BruDick Week 2024, but I accidentally got carried away and ended up deciding to write a longfic for it instead. The prompt was "brudick meet their AU!selves," so I did 66!brudick meets the Gotham Rogues Polycule, an AU in which Bruce, Dick, and Clark are in a very elaborate polycule with half of Gotham's villains.

Batman and Robin were on a normal mission in the middle of the day, on the trail of Catwoman, who's been stealing from the Gotham Museum of Art again. One moment they were walking into the museum, the next they were in a weird swirl of energy. Robin clings to Batman and asks what's going on, and Batman tells him steady Robin, we just have to stay calm and see what happens. The energy clears as someone calls out “incoming! Clear the floor!” and they find themselves in what is clearly the Cave, except it's even more high tech than anything they've ever seen. There's three people in suits like theirs standing in front of a massive screen, and Robin identifies the Riddler immediately, even if he doesn't recognise the other two. Before Batman can stop him, he charges the Riddler, who jumps behind the man in black and blue with a laugh. Batman does call out for him to stop, but he ignores him. The man in black and blue meets his every move, almost like he's fighting himself, and he calls out to the man in red and blue “a little help here, Supes?”

The biggest difference here is how drastically these fics changed from their zero draft to the first draft rendition, and that is entirely because of how fleshed out they ended up being (or not being, lol)

When I zero drafted the 5+1, it was with the intention of that specific part simply being a chapter, whereas my original zero draft of the 66! meeting the polycule! fic was actually intended to be a two shot at most. I unfortunately lost control of the plot during the first draft of that one, and it spiraled into a longfic, which will become more clear in a bit!

Basically though, the goal of the zero draft is to know who's where and why at all times! With longfics, there is often a restructuring that happens after the zero draft is written, where I move scenes and sometimes whole chapters to their best locations. This is where I make the most use out of a beta! Pacing is a big struggle for me and it is easier to fix at this stage, before I have all the prose and have become attached to what I've written

Next up is the first draft, and this is a whole new document. This is where I write The Actual Words. This is more or less the final version of the fic, for longfics, give or take a few paragraphs and a shit ton of line edits. Having said that though, I write in fits and bursts, because y'know disabled and stuff. So I write a paragraph or two at a time, and I am constantly adding and subtracting words and lines and sometimes whole paragraphs while I am actively working on a chapter

I'm going to show the first draft versions of both of the above fics, and due to the length these will be extremely excerpted but they should serve as examples regardless. Generally speaking, my zero drafts are about 1/3 of the length of my finished fics, however the 5+1 is currently proving to be an exception so that number may not be super accurate

First, the 5+1:

“You did take care of them, right?” Dick asked, groaning when Jason’s mouth thinned as he looked away. “Is Steph at least still with him?” “Last I heard, they were—” Jason started, cutting himself off when the Cave’s alarm signaled the arrival of newcomers. A moment later, two muddy bikes roared into the garage, leaving dark tracks behind them as they parked haphazardly together on the far side of the garage. With the return of Black Bat and Spoiler, the only empty place on the garage floor now belonged to Batman himself. Dick tried to catch Jason’s eyes as they waited in the med bay for Cass and Steph to strip off their suits and join them, but Jason turned away from him, though he didn’t rise from the bed. Something must have gone down after he’d fallen unconscious, Dick was sure of it. Why else would Bruce have sent everyone else home early on a patrol night? He could already see it in his mind’s eye, Batman doing God-knew-what out in Gotham alone, Bruce coming home with a busted lip that Dick would have to personally clean up before they went to bed, how that lip would scab over and feel under his tongue when he kissed Bruce the next morning after waking up in their bed—Bruce’s bed—on accident. How that scab would stretch when the ghost of a smile caught Bruce by surprise after one of Dick’s terrible puns. “You okay?” Steph called across the Cave as she and Cass walked toward the med bay. “Never been better,” Dick replied, trying not to be put out at Jason’s eye roll. He put up a hand for Cass to inspect when she came up to his bedside, and after she had nodded her satisfaction of his health he smiled. “I’ll be right as rain in no time.”

And the 66! meets polycule! fic:

“You!” Robin shouted, not waiting for Batman to back him up as he charged toward the Riddler. Riddler didn't move—in fact, none of the three moved—then Robin was on him, punching his face hard enough to hear a distinct crack. That startled all three into action, Riddler swearing up a storm before throwing himself behind the blue masked man, who blocked Robin's next hits without hesitation. “Robin!” Batman called from somewhere behind him, but Robin ignored him, focusing his energy on striking past the masked man's defenses to get at Riddler. “I know you're behind this, you– you scum!” Robin snarled in Riddler's direction, placing a perfectly timed jab toward the masked man's left cheek and then feinting to the right. But the man met him easily, as though they were merely sparring. “I'm not who you think I am!” Riddler exclaimed, his hands cupping his face but doing little to staunch the blood streaming from his nose. “Let's slow down for a minute, okay?” the masked man said, his voice maddeningly level as if Robin wasn't trying every trick he knew to get past him. “We can explain.” “Yeah kid, there's a good explanation here, we promise,” Riddler added. Robin growled and spun around the  masked man's reach only to find him once again directly blocking him from Riddler. How in the dickens did he know exactly where Robin was going to strike before Robin himself knew? And why on earth was he protecting the Riddler? “Supes, we could use a hand here,” the masked man said, still obnoxiously calm, once again blocking Robin's fist and this time circling his hand around Robin's wrist to twist his arm behind his back. In a blink, Robin was lifted into the air by his collar, the blue and red suited man holding him at arm's length. Robin continued to struggle for a moment, but finally Batman came into view, frowning up at him. Seeing Batman's disapproval took every bit of wind from Robin's sails, and he deflated instantly. If Batman didn't think he needed to fight, then he probably didn't need to.

So as you can see, I just kinda fill in the details with each draft!

Which is where we come to the optional second draft. I try, I really do try, to do a full second draft of everything I write. I always am glad to have done one, once it's done. The problem is, I really do have very limited energy, and anything longer than a chapter or two just doesn't get finished if I try to give it a full second draft. I've instead been doing really vigorous line edits, which I don't have an examples of because those are done in the same document as the first draft!

Now, you're probably wondering why on earth I gave a smut content warning at the beginning of this post. WELL.

I am calling myself out as a newbie when it comes to the art of smut writing. My 5+1 fic, the one where literally every single part has extremely explicit smut, has the following in the zero draft:

Yes, that is not one, not two, but three "cue smuts." Clearly I was new at this (affectionate)

Shout out to past!me for this in the last part though, because at least it actually has some semblance of blocking even if it is still extremely lacking:

The kissing escalates (as it often does) to smut over the desk (though Dick does try to move the documents out of the way, even if Bruce is growling at him to leave it alone; he doesn't want to be the reason Tim has another caffeine-induced breakdown).

I didn't figure this out until I was actually writing this fic, but it turns out I not only need to block in regular action scenes, I also need to block in the smut, because otherwise I will be sitting there having no fucking clue what to write (very affectionate)

So I now present what a zero draft of smut looks like! This is from a 5+1 in which there are five times Bruce and Dick fuck because of Poison Ivy's sex pollen and it "doesn't mean anything," plus one time they fuck because they actually want to:

Dick asks if they can take off their suits, it's too hot he's too hot, and Bruce says okay, that's a good idea, and internally he's panicking because oh no. Oh no. But the moment the words are out he sees the relief in Dick's face, and realises Dick needs to be told what to do right now, so he tells him clearly to strip, it'll help. Once Dick is fully naked in the other seat, he turns to Bruce and asks if he needs help with his armor. His hand is tentatively, almost shyly stroking his cock, and Bruce is really struggling to not watch. He tells him no, he doesn't, and takes off the chest plate and arm armor, but leaves what's left of his leg armor on. He decides he can safely put his hand under his boxers, but Dick makes a little noise, and when he looks over he can clearly see Dick watching him stroke himself. Oh fuck. He's cumming before he even realises it, his boxers getting wet and sticky and his cock still so maddeningly hard and he strokes himself through it, unable to stop himself from moaning even as he tries to keep himself in a clinical mindset. Dick asks to see him, and Bruce, despite knowing what a bad, horrible idea this is, pulls down his boxers to reveal his cock. Dick shifts his hand on his own cock to mimic what Bruce is doing, and Bruce has the horrible realisation that he doesn't even really know how to jerk himself off. Dear God, hopefully Alfred stays the fuck out of the Cave tonight.

So it's really just more of the same general blocking directions and vibes!

Another thing of note for zero drafts, I try to use as few words as possible to get what I need across. These are only ever intended to be seen by myself and a beta, assuming anyone else besides me even sees them at all, so I use slang and shorthand and leave notes for myself in the text itself

This can be a bit weird for when I show it to betas (or anyone else, for that matter!) because there are some fics where the tone or the vocabulary in the zero is incredibly modern despite the fic being in a historical or pre-modern setting!

And I have yet to actually write the first draft of that one, so I'm going to give you the first draft of the "Cue more smut (but this time against the batmobile 😌)" scene so that you can see the difference between the blocking and an Actual Scene:

Bruce had turned his back to him, bracing himself against the batmobile, and Dick took hold of Bruce's hip to hold him steady when he slid a finger into his hole. A soft moan was all he got in verbal response, but Bruce pushed against Dick's finger despite Dick's best efforts to do this slowly. Chuckling under his breath, Dick slid in a second finger, relishing in the clench of Bruce's muscle as he began working him open. “Easy, B,” he said softly, leaning over him enough to move his hand from Bruce's hip to his cock. Bruce growled and arched into his touch, taking in Dick's fingers completely. “Someone's in a rush tonight, huh?” He didn't get a verbal response, not that he ever did. Bruce rarely spoke while full, relying instead on nonverbal communication to indicate his needs. It hadn't taken long for Dick to become acquainted with his movements back when they started this; after all, fucking was no different from fighting, not for them, not when they had flown side by side across Gotham for more than half of Dick's life. And Dick knew Bruce would always try to get him to rush just a little, knew he'd give in like he always did, wanting to have his cock inside Bruce as soon as physically possible just as much as Bruce did. He wasted no more time, sliding his fingers out and releasing Bruce's cock just long enough to slick up his own. The small whine from Bruce at the loss of contact ought to be ignored, ought not be acknowledged, and Dick knew that, but he couldn't resist leaning over to kiss the small of Bruce's back. Bruce huffed at him, glaring over his shoulder. Dick met his eyes with a grin. Then Dick gripped Bruce's hip again, holding him steady while Bruce leaned back to meet him, and slipped into his tight heat. There was a soft moan from Bruce the moment he bottomed out; Dick leaned forward again to kiss up his spine, keeping his cock buried deep even while Bruce began to rock back into him.

I do think the fic for @ful-crum would be easier if I had proper blocking for the smut, but also I do love a good challenge and you live and you learn, so I'm not super invested in going back and blocking in the smut at this point in time!

And honestly, once the line edits are done that's pretty much it!

I keep a little "posting info" doc for each and every fic I write, to which I add tags as I come to them in writing, so that I don't have to think about what needs to be tagged at the end after I've already forgotten what I've written. That has saved my butt so many times ngl, especially for longfics!

But really what keeps me from posting more often, despite how much I write, is that I fully finish fics before I post them, even if I'm posting them on a weekly or whatever basis. This is mostly because I can't guarantee when I'll need to randomly take several months off of writing, and I don't want to leave anything unfinished, but also because I don't want to actually end up leaving something unfinished for a few years until I cycle back into the fandom

And that's it!! Thanks for tuning in to this little master class :) If I can clarify anything please let me know; I tried to explain everything that I thought needed it but I can never tell what others will need more clarification on!!

And also, thanks again for asking this!! I don't know many people who do full drafts, or even many people who don't completely pants everything they write, and so I'm always excited to discuss my process!! I also am a firm believer in "take what helps and leave the rest," so if you find something in my process that sounds like something you'd like to do, give it a whirl!! I think it's super important to share the different kinds of processes there can be for writing, because everyone really writes so differently, you know?

Anyway, thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed my shitty early drafts (very affectionate)!!

#asks #idk what to tag this so that ill be able to find it again lmao #also shout out to whomever told you to resend it bc i was fully prepared to just have a screenshot of the ask and tag you in a post #this was very fun!!! #oh and this is for you and anyone else who sees this: #feel free to pop in my ask box and ask about what i'm working on at any time!! #i could ramble for hours about my wips #and to be able to talk about them is always a pleasure!!!

[jellysaidshit]

Our story. Chapter 4.

Content warnings: angst, smoking, mentions of alcohol, hangover

Tag list: @badaseyebags (ask or dm to be added!)

This never was something she liked to do. The smell of new shoes and cheap coffee filled the conference room, accompanied by someone’s monotonous voice. She didn’t like any of this: too official, too serious, too fake. She rolled her eyes when someone disagreed with the speaker, causing the debate to start. 

“That is the most stupid thing I heard in a while!” A man in a grey suit exclaimed as he stood up. 

“But that is the best way to solve the problem!” The speaker tried to prove his point, but most of higher-ups did not agree with him. 

“River, what do you think about this?” A dark-haired woman, her mother, asked her. She smirked. 

“I think that this whole meeting could have gone well enough without my presence.” She leaned back in her chair as she fixed her black suit, looking straight into her mother’s eyes. The disappointment on her face brought River joy and happiness at that moment. 

“River!” Her grandfather exclaimed as he looked at the girl. That added even more adrenaline to her blood, and she smirked wider. “Be serious for once!” 

“Why bother? As if I’m not the last option to inherit anything in this company.” She shook her head before grabbing her cup and taking a sip of coffee. It was bitter, as if the multimillionaires couldn’t afford good coffee. Bunch of selfish assholes.

“You would be the first to inherit the hospital if you followed our suggestion and studied medicine.” Her grandmother looked at her with a stern look. “Instead, you chose to go to that cheap university and study useless psychology.”

“Well, someone should be there to fix your fucked up brains.” River swirled what was left in her cup and chugged the remains in one go. “Now, if you’d excuse me, I have that useless psychology assignment to finish.”

The tall figure stood up and walked out of the stuffy room. Hands in pockets, she chucked loudly when she passed her father, who sat right next to grandfather.

### 

The air at night was something River enjoyed in this life. It reminded her of the times when she used to sit on a windowsill in her room. Mother and father were asleep – or so she thought – and the big mansion was eerily quiet and calm. It was not noisy during the day either, but night made it feel relaxed.

She took a drag of her cigarette and exhaled. The bitter taste of nicotine was much better than the coffee she had at that conference room. She leaned forward to get a better look at the city right before the dawn. The bridge she stood on was her usual smoke place: convenient because it was right in-between her family’s company and her apartment.

River looked at her motorbike that was parked next to her on the roadside. It might sound strange to other people, but the black yamaha xs155r was the only thing that meant something to her. It was the first thing she bought with the money she earned herself, the first step of her own rebellion. She was sure that her mother would have a stroke if she saw her right now – standing god knows where, smoking god knows what while wearing a black leather jacket.

The lean figure finished the cigarette and took one more deep breath. She decided to get back to the dorm before the sun is up. River put her helmet on and seconds later she was already driving off towards the apartment.

The student accommodation was just as quiet as the whole city. The dark-haired girl parked her vehicle and took off her helmet before heading to her place. Knowing how thin the walls are, she tried to be as quiet as she could. Before she opened the door to the apartment that she shared with three other people and a dog, she checked the time. 4.45 am. These assholes need to hold the meetings earlier.

She opened the door as quietly as she could. The living space was dark, and every door was closed, which meant that everyone was asleep. The girl could smell the last bits of party that Ash and Beau threw earlier. She took off her shoes and walked on her tiptoes.

“The rule was to be quiet after 10,” River heard a voice. It made her roll her eyes. “Where were you?”

Nyx sat on the barstool with a cup of something in her hands. In the darkness. With all the lights off except one above the stove and making no sound. At almost 5 am. River looked in her eyes as she took the situation in.

“Well, I was busy,” she gave an answer that was, in her opinion, enough.

“Busy doing what?” The oldest girl pushed.

 

“Busy fucking some girls,” River deadpanned. When Nyx gave her a questioning stare, she pushed. “Why? You want details? Well, there was this blonde, she was so...”

“Enough,” Nyx didn’t want her ears to hear all of that. Just when she was starting to believe that River was the serious one out of the three children, the youngest had to jump at her with this. “I don’t need to hear all of this. Just be quiet, please.”

“Why are you up anyways?” River asked as she walked towards her room.

“None of your business.” the oldest grumbled before sipping from her cup.

###

That morning Ash wished they didn’t wake up. They would not have to be where they were right now. In the kitchen, with a cup of tea in their hand and a pulsating migraine, looking at the mess they made last night.

The apartment was in an awful state. Empty beer and highball cans, half empty bottles of vodka, some takeout boxes here and one-use cups there; they were in deep shit. The tall person slowly walked to the balcony door and opened it wide, letting all the sounds in and the sweet alcohol scent out. They squinted at the sudden light as their head started to hurt even more.

“Ash, please.” Beau said quietly as her head fell into her hands. The girl sat on the couch with a bottle of water. By her state Ash could tell that she didn’t sleep much. Beau did not drink a lot the night before, yet her head was heavy, and she felt sick in her stomach.

“Never again,” Ash said as they sipped their tea. They walked back to the kitchen as they tried to think through their plan.

“Never again,” Beau mumbled back. She lifted her head up and leaned back on the couch. “You clean the kitchen; I’ll take the trash and then we clean the living area together.”

“Deal.” Ash agreed as they looked around the kitchen thinking where to start. The kitchen was not a lot of work – drinks and food were mainly at the living space, so they only had to wipe everything and do the dishes. Not wasting a minute, they immediately started the cleaning.

When they started mopping the floor they heard River’s door open. The tall girl walked out of her room looking at whatever was going on. To be more exact, she saw Ash holding a cleaning cloth with two fingers and giggling while Beau was, as she assumed, explaining them where she can’t reach and wipe the dust.

“You, tall ass, quit laughing,” she scolded them. “I can’t reach that top shelf, please... be serious!” she jokingly hit them with a cloth she had on her shoulder.

“Beau, it’s not even that high! Ouch!” they jumped and moved around the room as the shorter girl smacked them with the weapon in her hand. “It hurts!” Ash noticed River as the lanky girl moved towards one of the bathrooms.

“I see party was a success?” She asked them. Ash froze in place, taking a deep breath. Even though the place was now clean and neat, they still remembered the scolding they received after being caught by Nyx.

“Nyx came home early.” Beau answered, shrugging. “So, no more parties, no more alcohol in the house.”

“Oh, I see.” River nodded and left to the bathroom, leaving the duo to their own shenanigans.

When minutes later she came back to her room, she had a displeasure to discover new messages from her mother.

Mother: Caleb H, 24 years old, med student. *1 file attached. 

Mother: the date is on next Friday, 6 pm. 

Mother: do not disappoint your family.

“Shit,” River mumbled as she put her phone down. 

Author's note: I am back! This chapter is dedicated to all of those who read this. Luv u <3

#altyn writes #Our Story #original writing #original character #ocs #wlw #nblw #nonbinary #queer #wlw romance #wlw angst #reading #writing #lgbt writers #lgbt stories #queer writers #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writers and poets #writerscommunity #queer writing #wlw writing #lesbian #drak academia wlw #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq community #original post #original story

[kakairu-shrine]

Fourth Year Anniversary!

Today is my fourth anniversary as a KakaIru creator! Normally, I share a bunch of statistics; but this time, I’d like to reflect on the past year, and some of the things I have planned for the future, instead.

Firstly, I don’t think I have created as much this year as the other years, as a lot has happened irl; and a good chunk of my writing time was taken away because I just got so overwhelmed with life, and I found it hard to think.

It’s sad, because I absolutely love writing, and have so many ideas that I want to get out there; but I just couldn’t manage it as much as I wanted to.

I am proud to say, though, that I managed to write 25 fics, with a total word count of 121 926 words (having calculated that just now, I’m actually impressed I wrote so much – I wasn’t really expecting to reach over 100k!)!

Out of all of the new fics, I think my favourite one is my WIP, Linked (CW: NSFW & some dark chapters), which is the fic I wanted to write to celebrate reaching a milestone of 100 fics on ao3, where I got people to tell me what they wanted me to write.

You guys gave me so many suggestions with characters and tropes that you liked; and I was excited to challenge myself by including all of the tied number one votes, rather than choosing just one/ doing a revote.

Sadly, I haven’t finished it yet, and have only done 19/28 chapters (approx. 45.4k words); but that brings me to my future plans.

I really love the story so far, of Kakashi and Iruka being handcuffed together and having to figure out how to free themselves, as well as everything else I have planned for it; and I am going to pick up on it again, and aim to have it complete before my next anniversary (but hopefully even earlier!).

I also want to finish another WIP I suddenly stopped after 14/23 chapters (approx. 19.8k words), The Rift (CW: Dark), which I started in the first KakaIru Maze Challenge I ran, Into The Ancient World. I had gotten the prompt ‘Afterlife’; and started a story about Kakashi dying, and trying to find his way back home, while Iruka stays by his side at the hospital.

It’s an idea I’ve had since I was a kid, but I could never settle on the characters I wanted, and had never finished any stories at the time, so it was just something I daydreamed about; but I have grown as a writer since then, and want to finally turn the dream into a reality, and share it with everyone!

There is one more main project that I’ll be working on this year, too; but it is massive, and I can’t say when I’ll finish it. It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure, combined with an otome game; and Iruka, who will be the main character, can end up with one of four ships, depending on the choices he makes throughout the story 👀

I have planned it out entirely, and just need to finish writing it out; but with the amount of options I’ve added throughout the fic (over 100, if I remember correctly), there is going to be a lot of writing to do (I’d say at least 80k words), so, as much as I want to finish & share it, I probably won’t be able to do that this year. But it is something I’m very excited about!

Those are the main things I want to focus on, but I will more than likely write other fics when I get inspired, and/or add to some of my series; especially Family Adventures, which is my dad kakairu series featuring Kaito, their genius son, and In A Land Far, Far Away, my Star Wars AU where Kakashi gives refugees Iruka & Naruto the life they deserve ❤️

That’s all for now. Thank you guys for all your support so far! I really appreciate all the kudos, likes, and reblogs; and every single comment I get really puts a smile on my face, and makes my day ❤️💕

I look forward to spending another year with you!

#kakairu-shrine #fourth anniversary #kakairu fanfic #reflection #future plans

[pine-niidles]

Looking Back on 2023

Heyyy folks! Long time no news from me huh. 

I'm struggling to think of what to even say about my silence. I've not been doing so bad I'd call myself depressed, but I'm doing a tad worse than just a slump. It's been a rough 6 months, not because of one big thing. Instead, a bunch of medium-sized reasons all piled up on top of each other to leave me extremely drained. I've mostly been working on the two commissions I still had in my queue (thank you to my commissioners for being so patient with me, I'm so sorry to make you wait so long <3). I've done a little personal art other than that but didn't have the leftover focus to keep up with sharing it on social media or writing up any updates about my situation. I've pretty much only been active sharing things in my art discord. I'd like to say I've been doing better in the last month or so, but I hesitate to make any promises at this point! We'll just have to see how things go :)

Artfight

So you were promised a more in depth artfight review but I think I missed the right timeframe for that... instead have this look at 3 years of unfinished artfight thumbnails from my new year's wip clean-out!

Year of Art Summary

All things considered I made a lot of art this year, and I'm really happy with how most of it turned out ☺ I did a bunch of experimenting with more playful techniques and color schemes and I think they suit my style a lot. I want to try and much those limits even more next year to see what kind of fun art I can create! Something with colors specifically really clicked in my brain after that witch drawing I did in April, before then I would spend a long time figuring out the perfect color scheme and doing a bunch of adjustments but ever since that drawing things have really been coming together super quick? I'm not sure what changed but no complaints from me. 

Life Drawing Summary 

I rarely post my life drawing but I've been keeping at it! Actually, I put together a few pdfs showcasing all my life drawing going back to 2022, you can download them for free in my itch or ko-fi shops! :>

I also put together a yearly art improvement comparison going back to 2015 that I was planning to put here. However, seeing how long this is already getting... I'll make a separate post for it.

Commissions

I've been gearing up to open commissions again after that unintended hiatus. I don't want to open slots until I'm sure I'm back to being able to finish them in a reasonable timeframe, so I've been using that leftover energy I do have to think about revamping some things and new styles to offer. Back in November I ran a survey on what people want to see from me (it's still open if you'd like to fill it out and help me get more stats!) 

here's a preview of what's to come based on that & my whims:

- stamp commissions were super well received so they'll be added to my main repertoire

- A combo of me reading too much dun meshi and wanting to offer some kind of comicky commissions led to this idea of comic pages of characters eating together, I have a couple examples in progress, when they're done I'll add this style to my main offerings!

- I'm still not 100% set on sketchpages but I like the idea of them so if this test goes well I'll add them as an option

Onward to 2024! 

I already completed my new year's resolution on day 1 of 2024, it was to pet a cat. I've made a second one which is to get a library card whenever my visa is approved and I move back home. It's been something I've been wanting to do for a while but never got around to, hoping this will be the excuse I need to do it.

Art-wise it's not a new goal, but I've been trying to focus on improving my rendering! Though I've also been playing around a lot with screentone... the two don't have to be at odds 🤔 

I'm dedicating this year's personal art time to making new references for as many ocs as possible with nude bases so I can easily design new outfits for them whenever I want to without fully making a new ref from scratch.

Otherwise I'm just trying to take it slow, work on things one at a time and see what happens from there.

#year in review #2023 #project updates

[dijanadraws]

2023 review

Hi beans! I bring you an art dump of all my art made in 2023 because I keep forgetting this website exists. (It's c/pd from my Patreon, that's how bad I am.)

First up is a book cover I made for my sister (Daina Rustin - Demon Hunter, not published), that I actually started a year or two ago, but had the last push/rework in January and called it finished. I’m also adding the sword concepts I made for it, even though they were technically done in 2022, as I haven’t shared them before.

In February, I did some figure and hand studies with some friends on the NFC discord, and thumbnailed a bunch of locations and ideas for Sky Across illustrations. March was the beginning of my character concept art project for the main character of Sky Across - Aurelia.

Started with figure drawings, then outfit variations and explorations for different uses and settings. After that it was colour variations, and the last one is a finished character illustration. I also spent some time doing general research and working on worldbuilding, writing and designing certain elements that will be important for the story later on :>

At the beginning of June, I started working on a “props” section for my portfolio. I made it so far that I made a whole 3D/blender scene with them, and then…. I wasn’t excited about painting them. I kept pushing it around, sort of like pushing food around your plate when you have no appetite. After some time staring at that task in my calendar, I decided I would be better off doing something that ✨ sparked joy ✨ instead. So, I painted a new Witcher fanart piece.  It was done in anticipation of the third season of the show on Netflix…. That I still haven’t finished. Oops.

July and August were a big dud for me, art-wise. I was going through a rough period and I was busy with real-life issues.

September was a big month for me as that was when my ADHD diagnosis was approved and I finally got medicated. I think I did more things (in general) in that first week than I did in the entire July+August. I finally saw the bottom of my dirty laundry basket after 7 years.

Art wise, I did another bunch of thumbs for my Sky Across illustration, I set up the references I needed in Daz3D and Blender, and I got an offer to work on an exciting freelance project so I jumped on the research and thumbnails for that as well. The project is still in progress, and I'm looking forward to sharing it next year!

September was also when I drew Hopper, Nickie’s cat, in pencils. I used to do a lot of traditional art in the past so I didn’t think it would be complicated, despite not having drawn a realistic cat in over a decade…. I always forget how humbling traditional work is. Nickie visited my hometown and I travelled back home to meet her and see my family <3

I got a cold as soon as I returned and that slowed down my zoomies for a few weeks, some family/personal issues happened, and I had to start branching out before I was ready to - which is how Patreon and Twitch came to be. The rest of September and October were spent on YouTube researching and developing “passive” income ideas.

I won’t be talking about Oct/Nov pieces as I’ve already done that in the previous few posts. In short, art zoomies picked back up in October, I managed to knock out some presents for friends and some fanart pieces, only to be absent for the majority of November again because I had/was recovering from Covid. (I’m still coughing 💀)

Over the course of the year, I did some animal drawings as presents for friends - Joe’s wonderful sassy corgi Dennis that I'm plotting to kidnap (at least for a day, if I ever make it to the UK), Joel’s cat Kissa that looks like someone spilled ink all over, Isla’s cat Skye that has seen all of the horrors of the universe, and I’m cooking something up with my own cat - Azriel.

I started working on another illustration for Sky Across featuring the same character I concepted at the beginning of the year, I'm streaming the process on Twitch when I can, and I started a little banner illustration for socials that I noodle on from time to time.

There were a few bits and bobs that I don’t feel are worth mentioning, and some Blender practice things that aren’t really worth sharing but were great practice.

All in all, this year was mostly marked by a million doctors’ exams, a big focus on exercise/physical therapy, dealing with ~feelings~ about medical issues, and general financial uncertainty. But also more art than I made in a long while, so swings and roundabouts!

I'm really proud that I've managed to handle and organise so many health-related things, and I'm getting better at judging how much I can do and schedule for myself, recognizing when I need to take time off and when I can afford to push things. I hope to do more original illustrations and concepts next year, and I’m adding traditional art to my calendar for next year as I’ve been itching to experiment more. I’m very grateful to my family and friends that held me up, I wouldn’t have been able to manage without them <3

Hope you have a successful 2024 and may all your dreams come true!

Until next time,

xo

PS: INPRNT is running an end of year sale, and you can get my art for an extra 20% off with the code: OQKQS6DJ

#dijanadraws #dijana #art #digitalart #digital art #painting #illustration #drawing #fanart #seventeen #s.coups #yoon jeonghan #the witcher #henry cavill #digital #2023 #year in review

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I hit about eight different topics in this post. All related to various comedians. It's been a while since I've done a post in which I just start writing and then let myself go, if one thing I write reminds me of a different thing I'll start writing about that. There's no plan to this post. Adding a cut for people who (justifiably) do not want to go through something even more rambly than usual, for me. I'll say at the outset that there's nothing particularly deep or insightful here.

Just finished listening to the podcast episode to go with the new Taskmaster, and it was quite good. Solid insights from Ivo Graham, as I’d have expected. I missed this podcast, since they stopped putting stuff out every week. I realized I’ve missed hearing Ed Gamble – I do like him enough to enjoy hearing him talk for 45-ish minutes per week, which I learned from the several years he spent doing the Taskmaster podcast with very few weeks off, and I miss it now that it only airs while Taskmaster (UK) is airing.

If only I hadn’t spent years in a sport that forced me to track my weight so meticulously that I am now incapable of seeing food as entertainment, ruling out getting into Off Menu. If only I didn’t have a combination of hypochondria that mainly manifests as fear of developing cancer and/or diabetes, and fear of needles, along with a specific fear that I’ll develop diabetes and then have to have needles for the rest of my life, and the way I manage to go through life instead of being constantly paralyzed with anxiety about this is by avoiding thinking about the existence of those things as much as possible. I can think about if I’m absolutely forced to, but at the very least, I’m unable to derive enjoyment from thinking about them. So Ed Gamble’s stand-up might be great, I don’t know, I haven’t sought it out.

I have a disappointing amount of reasons to avoid listening to his stuff, given how much I enjoy hearing him talk. Maybe I should get into his radio show, I like Matthew Crosby. And every once in a while I think of how the side of Ed Gamble I like least is the way he’s a bit too TV polished sometimes, so clearly the solution to that is to get into the Peacock and Gamble stuff.

Anyway, it was a fun episode. The more I think about it, the more excited I am for Taskmaster season 16. That first episode was so good, one of those things that’s so good I just want to go over and over it, so I enjoyed hearing Ed and Ivo do that.

I remembered today that a few months ago, I was hanging out with my brother, and I told him I’d bought tickets to see Tom Ballard. He didn’t know who Tom Ballard was, I said he’s an Australian comedian, my brother said he didn’t know as much about Australian comedy as he should. Then we both started naming other Australian comedians, to see if we have any knowledge of them in common. He didn’t know any of my names, until I asked him, “Do you know Sam Campbell?” and he said yes. I asked him if he likes Sam’s comedy, and he said that actually he’s never seen Sam’s comedy.

“But you said you know him,” I said. My brother said yeah, from when he lived in Melbourne. I often forget that my brother lived in Melbourne for a year, in about 2015-ish. He also lived in London for a year, around 2011. Did some comedy in both those places. Anyway, he told me that one time when he lived in Melbourne, he was at a party, and one of his comedy friends introduced him to a guy named Sam Campbell. “I haven’t seen him perform, but he was a nice guy,” my brother said. I told him we are working with different definitions of what it means to "know" a comedian.

I think this might be the first time I’ve been two handshakes away from a Taskmaster contestant. I can get three away from plenty of them – I’ve met someone who’s met someone who’s met them. Three away from Mae Martin in plenty of ways, I think, and not even just through my brother, now that I’ve spent some time with other local comedians. A bunch of those local comedians, including my brother, have worked with some of the comedians who were on LOL Canada, a fairly bad… okay less bad than you’d expect given the premise but definitely not great… comedy-based reality show that I watched this summer entirely because it had Mae Martin on it. Mae Martin’s pretty good in that, by the way, for the information of anyone who’d like to know that. By which I mean, if you happen to just really like watching Mae Martin do anything, that is a show on Amazon Prime that features Mae Martin doing some stuff. Mainly trying not to laugh at Tom Green.

 So I can get three away, but I think Sam Campbell is the first Taskmaster contestant my brother, or anyone else I know personally, has actually met. I mean, technically I’ve now met Josie Long and Grace Petrie, and they’ve met lots of Taskmaster contestants. Technically I’ve been one handshake away from a Taskmaster contestant, as Josie Long was an original champion (well, second after Wozniak). But I think in this case, I’m defining “handshake” as working with someone or seeing them socially. It counts if you only worked with or met them once, but it has to be work or social, not just accosting them on the streets of Montreal and asking them to sign a tour poster from over ten years ago.

 Though my meeting with Grace Petrie has turned out to possibly be slightly more significant than I’d thought at the time. I haven’t been able to find my wallet this weekend, and the last time I definitely, 100% had it was when I took it out at the merch table at her concert and gave her money for a CD. I think I remember having it when I got home from the concert, but I can’t be totally sure, and I can’t find it anywhere in the house.

I was an incoherent mess when I met Grace Petrie at her merch table, I remember shaking and stuttering a bit as I spoke to her and trying to remember what I wanted to say, and I definitely don’t remember keeping track of anything. It is absolutely conceivable that my flustered state from meeting Grace Petrie led me to forget to pick up my wallet when I left the table. Again, I don’t think so – I think I would have checked for it before leaving the venue at the end of the night. But the more I search this house and don’t find it, the more likely it looks that the “too excited to meet Grace Petrie to remember to grab it” theory is exactly what happened. So basically, my current working theory is that Grace Petrie stole my wallet.

It'd be good if Sam Campbell won Taskmaster, not just because I called that the moment the cast was officially announced so now I have to back him like he’s a sports team because I like being right. But I’d enjoy being two handshakes away from a Taskmaster champion.

My brother does have a few “meeting now-famous people” stories about his time doing the comedy circuit in London, which I would like credit for not having posted here. Last year he gave me some entertaining gossip about British comedians, and I have refrained from mentioning that on my blog about British comedians, and I just want people to recognize the restraint I showed. In case anyone’s concerned, since “there’s a story about a famous person” so often means bad things, it’s nothing like that. All stories with tawdry parts in them have been entirely consensual. Though I will say that one time last year, my brother and I were in our parents’ living room and he told a story about Daniel Sloss that resulted in us having to explain the concept of dick pics to our mother. That is fine to say because it’s not putting any previously unknown gossip out there, as Daniel Sloss’ most recently released filmed special has a whole routine about how there are lots of his dick pics out there and one is bound to get leaked at some point. And I said “Yes, so I’ve heard.”

My brother told me at the time that he didn’t particularly like Daniel Sloss’ comedy, but I’m pretty sure he hadn’t actually seen it, and this was just one comedian automatically disliking another comedian who had started around the same time as him but become much, much more successful. Though to be fair, I have seen the DVD Daniel Sloss made when he was 22, and it’s fair to say he was not always the deep and complex comedian he is today. There is some bad stuff in his half man/half x-box days. And even recently, I don’t think everything he’s done is great. His latest special was fairly uneven and I do get sick hearing him call himself a dangerous an edgy comic, even though I know that’s just normal marketing. But I think he’s made some legitimately great things.

My brother told me more recently, however, that he had watched Daniel Sloss’ Jigsaw for the first time and loved it, that it’s exactly how he feels about relationships but hasn’t seen someone put it so well into words before. And he sent Jigsaw to his friend who’s in a bad relationship, saying this might encourage her to get out of it. I said I know what he means, that Jigsaw put into words a bunch of stuff that I also think about relationships but couldn’t articulate as clearly as Daniel Sloss did in that show, and I’ve also used it to show other people what I think. For example, I said, when I was early in the process of dating my most recent ex-girlfriend, it was going really really well and we were both talking about how we liked this but had agreed at the outset that neither of us were looking for a serious relationship, I sent her the Jigsaw show as a way to explain why I don’t do serious/traditional/committed relationships, but I really like her so can we keep seeing each other anyway? And of course about three weeks later we decided we had fallen in love and would therefore make an exception and use the word “girlfriend” and call this a relationship properly. I told my brother this, and he said… “No, that’s not the same thing. I sent Jigsaw to a girl I like because I hoped it would make her break up with her boyfriend. That’s what you’re supposed to do with that show, use it to break people up. You’re not supposed to send it to a girl you like who’s already dating you, as a way to start a relationship with her. Do you think it might have been a bad sign that you started a relationship by showing her that strongly anti-romance comedy show and saying this is what you think?” And I said I don’t know, fuck off, and yeah, probably.

It is nighttime and I have to get up for work tomorrow but I can't sleep, so I thought I'd just start writing some stuff and see where it takes me. Obviously it took me here. I started writing about the Taskmaster podcast, and I ended up writing about why my relationship fell apart last year. I'm doing fine. I need to go to sleep. I also need to find my fucking wallet. Just my luck, having Grace Petrie steal my wallet.

[raiasintended]

My reminder system is starting to get stale and needs to be refreshed,

so I think now's a good time to make a Long Post about how I use the iOS/OSX Reminders app to keep on top of my shit,

even with

ADHD Sponge Brain

Alright, so because I'm an adult with ADHD, I need a system that can collect my every thought as soon as I have them with as little friction as possible, so that I can keep on top of my shit (all of which has varying importance).

I've tried many different apps and physical tools for this! Planners, task matrices, Habitica.. nothing really sticks. Except for this, and it's literally just Reminders.

My first step was to throw the default list in the fucking trash and make a new list called Inbox.

This is what my Inbox looks like at the beginning of the day: a handful of random thoughts dictated to Siri, added via Share (like the one with the link attached already was shared directly from my browser), or entered directly into the app.

In Settings, you can make this the Default List (important).

When I have a random thought, it's "hey siri, add 'brilliant fucking idea' to my Inbox list." Or, Share > Reminders > and then choose the Inbox list.

With the whole Shortcuts thing, I'm sure there's some clever ways to automate adding things to this list, too: like if you need to follow up on an email or whatever. I haven't messed with it too much because I've found the more little widgets and shit I add, the more distracting the process becomes, and it's harder to use.

Every morning (or, uh, with the intent of doing this every morning and the grace to understand that I have ADHD and once or twice a week is also acceptable), I process my Inbox.

Processing means I go through the thoughts in my Inbox and either attend to them immediately, delete them, or rename and tag them. Tasks that are left get moved to another official list that's all nice and sortable.

Naming a task is critical! A task should have a verb, or my Immediate Gratification Monkey Brain won't know what the fuck I meant or what I'm supposed to do. That's why "transit card" was renamed to "Research Japan transit card."

The tags I use for tasks are:

Estimated time to complete the task: 5, 15, or 30.

If it's going to take less than 5 minutes, I do it right away. If it's going to take longer than 30, it's going to have commitment a tag.

This is not so much a planning tool as it is a source of reassurance. The idea behind the original system is that if you have 15 minutes free, you can quickly find your easiest tasks and knock a few out! In practice, this serves to tell me "don't worry, it's only going to take 15 minutes to do this."

Commitment: one-off, event, or project.

A one-off is a task that's one and done—it doesn't have additional subtasks or moving parts or anything complicated like that.

An event is something that needs to happen at a certain time, like taking the garbage to the curb or shipping a birthday gift.

A project is a task that's either going to have subtasks or is going to take a LONG TIME: like doing the laundry (wash it, dry it, fold it, put it away), or finishing a coat I promised to crochet for my niece.

Context: phone if the task requires a call or internet if the task requires .. the internet.

Sometimes I use drive for a task I can't do at home, or tag with a person's name if they're required to complete task.

I don't look for tasks with these tags very often, but sometimes I'm in a place where I have the energy to get a bunch of phone calls out of the way and it's useful to pull up every phone task at once.

Non-tasks: Kind of a weird subcategory here, but not every thought in my Inbox is a task, exactly.

Research is for when I need to go... research some stuff. A lot of times I need more information before I can plan out a proper task or project. If a task ends up being a question instead of an imperative, it's going under Research.

Shopping is for a task that is purely "buy (insert thing here)." I have a grocery list I manage in a different app entirely, so this is mostly for non-necessities I don't want to forget to purchase when payday rolls around.

Someday is for a task I'd like to get to at some point but it's not a priority. This is pie-in-the-sky, daydreaming, "wouldn't be fun if I..." kind of stuff.

Notes is not actually a tag I use but I have a list specifically for thoughts that aren't really actionable in any way. It's kind of a catchall-list of things like bookmarks, gift ideas, and recommendations from friends.

An important thing I've learned about my tasks list is that I should not attach due dates to a task unless the due date is critical to the task itself. I used to think that if I attached dates to my tasks it would also attach a sense of urgency. In reality, all it did was make me clear bunch of alerts instead of listening to them, and then I get a bunch of red in my Reminders. Annoying.

After the tasks are all tagged, I click and drag them into their new lists. The main list for tasks, I've named Get Things Done (after the system this is based on).

...This is what Get Things Done looks like when I've fallen off the wagon. I used to feel a lot of shame about this but honestly it's fine. It really is part of the process—sometimes the monkey brain needs a quick shower and a change of scenery.

When I see I've got tasks building up and I have lost track of what's even on my list, that means it's time to go in and recontextualize some tasks, which usually means clearing them because they're no longer relevant, retagging them, or just picking a couple to do right away.

Here I've cleaned it up a bit as part of my regular refreshing ceremony: I cleared my repeating past-due tasks (there's no point in keeping them around just to make myself feel bad), cleared tasks that are no longer relevant, and cleared tasks I've already done and forgot to mark.

The two other lists I manually add things to are my Someday list:

And my Notes list:

The rest I can actually build Smart Lists for. Smart Lists have gotten a lot more useful: it used to be you could only have them build from one tag, but now you can get a little wild with the filters.

An easy way to take advantage of this is to make a Smart List with all your shit that would be easy to finish.

I use Smart Lists to keep my Research tasks and my Shopping items in their own lists. Depending on the tags you use with this, you could do things like make Smart Lists of every tasks that takes less than 30 minutes, doesn't require a phone, and idk requires your Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor to come with you. It's your lists.

Anyway, try it out! No overhead, no distracting features, just the basic-ass Reminders app.

#adhd mood

[conceptsformyowner]

PTJ5: Overdue punishment, breathless orgasm, and 40 hours of bondage.

Public Toy Journal 5 - 2022 07 81

Welcome! Today I tell you about how this week I was punished for disrespecting my Owner using hot sauce, I tell you some things about my new normality, and then about spending 40 hours chained to a toilet. Enjoy!

Sunday

Over the last few months, the months I've been their property, I've disrespected them 4 times. Which is to say, in Spanish i used the common singular second person forms instead of the formal and respectful ones. For this, we'd come to an agreement on a punishment. My mouth would be thoroughly washed with soap and would be left with it inside with no spitting for as many minutes as times I’d disrespected them.

However, in the time it took me to research all the info on safety and proper techniques, they got excited about an alternative punishment.

On Sunday, my Owner ordered me to go to the kitchen and kneel at the door after I finished bathing. I dried up, walked over and knelt there.

“Tongue out.”

I obeyed, opened my mouth and put my tongue out. They were making dinner, but they were also preparing something else.

In a small bowl, they poured a bunch of hot sauce, added some “ground chili” *(I'll trust google translate :s)* and started mixing it.

I knelt there, naked, tongue out, staying still while they finished mixing it up and walked over. They stood over me and placed a spoonful of the stuff on my tongue.

“Don’t move. You’re going to stay like that.” they said and walked away to continue cooking.

At first it didn't feel like much, I was already starting to suffer from just keeping my mouth like that and kneeling. Then slowly I started feeling it. It's weird, spicyness usually gets you by filling your mouth with pain, but concentrated spicyness like this is not something I've felt before. It hurt, but the worst psrt was how my body was automatically responding to it. I had started drooling a bit before, but now my body sensed my tongue was in danger and just opened all the valves. I couldnt stop, it was incredibly humilliating and disgusting. They didnt take long to give me a bowl to drool in when the cup I was making with my hands started overflowing.

It got so bad parts of it were actually making the big pile of spicy mush slide down. Chunk by chunk.

They stood there and laughed, genuinely finding it hilarious. Im fucking glad, lol

When most of the mush had slipped down, my jaw aching, they ordered me to stand up and go spit and rinse.

Quickly i went and did so, took a long damn time. They also made me clean the bowl and the part of the floor I'd drooled on.

Having learnt my lesson, I sighed and they hugged me.

“Alright, that was fun wasn't it? That was just part of it, can't wait to wash your mouth later.”

Monday

I am now spending the weekdays on a desk, logged on to a call 9am till 6pm. To show they were still in control, they started making me chain my waist to the chair just before logging on, leaving the key out of reach so that only they could release me once I was done.

They bring me food and occasionally give me tasks which i perform by walking with a chair stuck to my butt.

Wednesday

At one point, I'd said that I loved when they covered my mouth with their hand. Handgagging me while we watch stuff or just lie down.

On wednesday, they started doing that but with a twist.

They cover my mouth and my nose, blocking all airflow and slowly, patiently inform me, while I can't breathe:

“If you ever want to breathe again, cum. You can touch yourself now.”

I have. NEVER. Been so desperate and fast at that. It left me completely destroyed and unable to do anything. Fucking hard to enjoy that.

Thursday

On thursday, they passed a chain through my anklecuffs, my wristcuffs, and then my collar, forming one big loop. It's very hard to do pretty much anything, but i can still do most things. Im just more helpless, submissive, suffering, and vulnerable. I absolutely love it. Id love to spend every day like that.

For lunch, they unthreaded the chain from the collar, fearing that i would break the chair while trying to eat.

That night, I spent some time between their thighs, just suffering there, suffocating, choking, horny as fuck, in the dark, with them just outside the covers using their phone, not really acknowledging me. I love it so much, I wish they’d keep me there and use my face whenever they got bored. I wish I could sleep there.

Friday

Friday night, they gave me a couple blankets then chained my neck to their toilet. They tucked me in, on the small bathroom floor, protected from the cold by a couple of sheets, pressed between the wall and the toilet seat, they turned off the light, got to their bedroom and closed the door.

They slept really well. I didn't quite. Got unused to sleeping on the floor, should fix that.

Before they chained me up, I’d written a tumblr post for them to publish when they’d done it. They added a little paragraph and ugh, I love it so much. I'd love for them to add a little something to my posts here or there or maybe someday even make some themselves.

Saturday

Saturday morning, bored out of my mind, no entertainment other than just inspecting my surroundings, I decided I was very glad they changed their mind and decided not to keep me hooded the first 30 of our planned 50 hours of bathroom chaining.

I saw their bedroom door open. I was so excited I could pee myself, hadnt I relieved myself earlier, that's the whole reason they chained me up there, after all.

Half asleep, they kicked me lightly to indicate I should move over and let them use the toilet.

I did and they told me they slept well and asked me how I was doing. I was alright, a couple spots in my body weren't super happy, including my brain from the understimulation.

They chuckled and went back to bed.

Later that day they released me so I could take my daily cold shower, and they allowed me to have lunch with them on their bed. Shortly after though, I was back in the bathroom, the keys to my release kept meters away from me.

They gave me my notepad and a pen. I was now to write my CNC List. A list of 100 ways to use their toy with no care for the toy's possible whines complaints or shows of resistance, with a safeword emboldened and visible at the beginning. The idea is that we'll later sit down and go one item at a time, I’d explain exactly what I mean by it, write a small description, and they'll decide wether that item is something only they can do to me, wether its something people they share me with (for whom we need a better title, PLEASE) can do to me, or whether it's something anyone can do to me.

100 things. Throughout the day I wrote 89. Damn it's hard once i got past number 40.

Just as a curiosity, I asked them to quickly tell which ones they thought anyone could do to me (without warning or care for complaints, as stated), and they suddenly listed MOST OF THEM. Fucking scary. Jeez. I'm so screwed, fuck.

At one point they shared a video of my predicament with @@musingsformyowner, who I believe probably appreciated it a lot hsha.

This night, they gave me a pillow. Thank you.

Sunday

At 13hs on sunday, after what I think was about 40 hours since we started the session, we ended it for unrelated life-stuff reasons. we cuddled in bed and watched some show while they told me how proud they were of their toy.

From the whole experience, I take the following:

- Never underestimate the importance of a tiny pillow if I'm not used to sleeping face up.

- We can't do it there because it's annoying for my owner to have to move me every time they want to use the bathroom.

- Boredom makes me feel like a stored away object and makes me super happy when I'm then used and put back, I wish I could live just like that.

- Adding a rule that whenever I feel a bit physically free I had to tell them to add restraints was the best/worst rule we could've ever added. On Saturday it happened and they closely joined my neck to my feet, making me struggle to not choke. Fucking awful. Fucking amazing.

- Listing the ways i can be used is really hot, damn.

- I think i like being filmed/photographed while I'm helplessly bound or stored away. New kink unlocked, damn it.

#text #journal

[ericac318]

The Drug Lord and the Journalist

Summary:

What happens when a black bear finds a bunch of cocaine in the forest? Syd White has to find what Andrew Thornton lost in the Chattahoochee National Forest in GA (Blood Mountain) with the help of his fiance, Bexley ‘Bex’ Hart, his son, Eddie, and one of his best men, Daveed. They are all about to find out!

Chapter 1

A/N: This story doesn’t follow the movie and not all the action is present to a tee but there are spoilers if you haven’t seen ‘Cocaine Bear’ yet. This is just something I’ve been dying to write since I saw the movie (I’ve been three times!)

Bex is a journalist whose initial role was to keep the press away from Syd’s business but things blossomed. This short story has little time to get into all the details.

Bexley ‘Bex’ Hart was sitting next to her fiance, Syd White, at their bar in St. Louis, MO when Daveed walked in for his assignment.

“Can I order something before we get started?” Daveed asked as he took a seat across from the couple.

Bex glanced at Syd, “Is this a conversation I should be present for?”

Syd placed his hand on her thigh to hold her in place, “You’re good. This’ll only take a second, babe,” before he turned his attention to Daveed, “Did you hear about Thornton?” he questioned while giving Bex’s leg a squeeze.

Daveed nodded, “Yeah, I saw the news. That’s one tough way to go?”

“He only had thirty kilos on him,” Syd replied causing Bex’s jaw to drop. She tried very hard to steer clear of his business dealings so that she’d never be able to be a liability to him.

Daveed’s eyes widened at the information too, “Any clue what happened to the rest?”

“Chattahoochee,” Syd responded, keeping his voice low, “There’s an area called Blood Mountain. Our guys know to drop off the goods there so we can pick them up later. I want you to grab Eddie and go find the rest,” he instructed, causing Daveed to raise his brow.

“Joannie just died,” Daveed protested, earning a nod from Bex, “Eddie’s in mourning. I don’t think we should pull him into this mess,” he explained, honestly.

Bex spoke up, “I agree with him, baby,” she stated as she wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his shoulder.

Syd shook his head, pulling off his aviators, “Joannie is the reason he quit. She’s gone so there’s no reason for him to stay away from the business anymore. The sooner he moves on the better. Go get him,” he added, his tone more intimidating now.

Bex was about to protest again but Daveed gestured for her to stay quiet.

“I’ll go grab him and give you updates from the road,” Daveed agreed as he stood to leave the bar, leaving Syd and Bex alone once again.

“Are you sure that was the best plan?” Bex asked once some time passed after Daveed made his exit, “Your son already hates you. I doubt this is going to help things. And, before you say it, I know this isn’t any of my business but I love you and I hate to see you driving people away when there’s no reason for it,” she added, finishing sharing her peace on the subject, slightly worried about how Syd would react.

To her surprise, he didn’t react negatively to what she said. Instead, he pulled her onto his lap allowing her to straddle him, “You’re probably right,” he agreed with a sigh as he placed his head into her chest, “Sometimes, I just get lost in the business. If we can’t recover that coke, there will be hell to pay. Hell that Eddie will be the target of, and so will you. That’s not what I want,” he explained, giving her a small glimpse into his mindset, a rarity for him.

Bex leaned into him until her lips were almost on top of his ear, “I appreciate the way you protect me, baby. And, I’m sure Eddie does too. He’s just going through a lot right now. Is there anything I can do to take some of the stress away?” she offered before she pulled his earlobe between her teeth, enjoying the way his breath caught.

Syd pulled away from her, slightly, before he took her lips with his own. He ran his tongue along her mouth, demanding entrance when she pulled away, breathless.

“Should we do this right here?” she questioned, only halfway caring as she felt how hard he was beneath her, only adding to how turned-on she was.

He didn’t answer at first but, instead, started undoing the buttons on her jeans. “I’m the boss. I can do whatever the fuck I want,” he stated, his accent heavy causing her to gasp.

Bex nodded as she moved her hand to his belt and started undoing it, followed by his pants until she had him free from the confines. “I love this side of you, baby,” she breathed as she slid down onto him, sitting still for a moment once he was buried deep within her, his eyes closing as he took in the feeling, one he should be used to but swore he never would be.

If you like this story, you can keep reading here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45554272/chapters/114626485

It should only be four chapters total.

#ray liotta #cocaine bear #original female character #fanfiction #fanfic #archive of our own #syd white

[orestes-hungry-and-pylades-sober]

Kefta Cosplay Tutorial, Part One

The other parts will exist whenever I finish making the thing because I’m literally adding onto this tutorial as I make it

This originally had a whole lot of commentary at the beginning and it felt like one of those online recipes that’s 90% useless backstory that no one reads, so most of it ended up in the bin. You’re welcome. I also apparently discovered that there’s a 10-image limit or something so this is going to have like twenty parts instead of two, but oh well

Special thanks to @thread-of-mind for helping me with the design and figuring out the embroidery, and also for binging most of the show with me when it first came out, and to @you-are-constance for listening to me complain about how much I hate sleeves. You guys are amazing!

Somewhere in the middle of this process I got a new phone with a way better camera and so the quality of different images here varies massively, sorry about that

Of the Grisha orders, the Heartrenders have always been my favorite because I’m in love with Nina because their powers are so cool and versatile and interesting, so that’s what we’re making here today!

Here’s the pattern I ended up using. If anyone is interested in it but doesn’t want to actually have to buy it themselves, I can try to lay each pattern piece out on a grid and take a photo so you know the scale and can copy them yourself.

https://somethingdelightful.com/mccalls/pdm7848

Sorry about the glare, I took the picture when it first arrived in the packaging and currently I have no idea where the actual envelope is.

I always like to make a mock-up of my costumes before using my nice fabric, and I had a bunch of old felt that had a bunch of holes in it but worked well enough. It helped me figure out the sleeves, since the ones with the pattern were far too loose, as well as tailoring through the bust and waist a bit more. The pattern I used had two pieces in the front of the bust, so you have a visible seam there versus the ones in the show that appear to have one solid front, but I liked the fit of the pattern I got and the seam ended up providing a helpful reference when it came to the embroidery later on.

For the final version, I ended up making it a size larger than what I did for the mock-up, and I’m very glad I did. Because it was too small, and because felt stretches, it warped weirdly around the waist (creating that bit that bubbles out where the buttons end) but that doesn’t happen on the final version because the fabric is heavier and hangs differently, and because it doesn’t stretch.

I love the red fabric I found- it’s the perfect color and it has enough texture to it up close without having a super visible weave. However, it was too thin and I could tell it wasn’t going to drape right, so I lined it with interfacing. The entire thing. In retrospect, I should’ve given in and just gotten a heavier fabric, but I found the one that I liked and I was going to use it. So that was fun.

This is also your friendly reminder to pre-wash your fabrics!! I had so much that I couldn’t really do it in the washing machine

This was my first time using transfer paper for a pattern, believe it or not, and oh my god that stuff is amazing. I have no idea how I’ve been able to function without it for so long. I don’t like cutting my patterns down to size (like I couldn’t have done the next size up from my mock-up if I’d cut it to that smaller size) so I usually just stick a pencil underneath and trace but this was so much easier

And now we have all of our pieces cut out and can iron the interfacing on. Looking back, I should’ve ironed the interfacing to the entire bolt of red fabric (or even just pinned them together) and cut everything out at the same time, but I ended up having to place the red pieces on the interfacing, trace them, cut them out, and iron them on. I’m very talented at making stuff overly difficult for myself

That’s the finished interfacing, successfully ironed onto every single piece. It took forever and I hate myself.

Seeing as there’s an image limit, apparently, I’ll wrap up part 1 here. I’m planning for part 2 to cover the actual construction of it, part 3 to be all of the embroidery, and part 4 to be finishing up the lining and stuff, but I have no clue if I’ll be able to stick to that schedule.

For now, I love you guys, and stay tuned for the rest of the tutorial!

#the 10 image limit really is stupid #i mean i get why #i just really don’t like it #cosplay #tutorials #cosplay tutorial #shadow and bone #grishaverse #siege and storm #ruin and rising #heartrenders #kefta

[bokuroskitten]

Daddy kink Draken who's little girlfriend gets him some cute silly litte gift for his birthday like matching sanrio keychains 😭❤️ I love him so much

Hiii nonnie this was from yesterday I know but I loved it so much that I wanted to answer it! This is also one of my fav headcanons cause I love LOVE collecting dumb little trinkets for my partners 😭 Kenny doesn’t know what to do them all, half the time he do be staring at them blankly like “what in the WORLD am I gunna do with this—“ but it’s different on his bday, cause he knows just how excited you are to give it to him 🥺

Once the two of you have finished up the birthday dinner you ordered for him, as well as the cake you settle into the couch with each other. He can practically feel you vibrating with excitement and he can’t keep the grin from twitching onto his lips as he looks over to you, the hand that was once resting along the back of the couch now smoothing over your hair.

“Alright lil love, go get that present you’ve been dyin to give me.” He puffed out a laugh when you squealed in response, prancing off to retrieve the gift you’ve been literally dying to give him all day. Draken wasn’t really into gifts, not for himself anyway. But seeing the excitement shine in your eyes as you so delicately held the pretty wrapped box in your hands, the way you bit your lip as you slid to straddle one of his thighs.

It was just too cute to handle.

“It’s nothin big, promise daddy!” You reassure him as he eyes up the bag, that usual sternness he holds in his gaze fading away to fondness as he takes a good look at the box. Of course you wrapped it up nice and pretty for him, even drew little hearts all over the wrapping, the biggest one sitting beside his name. Keeps one hand on your low back to rub gentle circles into it as he slowly tugs away at the ribbon.

“What is it then?” He muses playfully, a laugh threatening to bubble up past his lips when you pout at him. “You’re about to open it! See for yourself daddy!” When you hold the box closer to his face after the ribbons been removed he finally lets himself laugh, pressing a kiss to your forehead in hopes to calm you down. “Alright alright, m’goin…”

He lifts the lid, brows starting to furrow a bit from the brightly coloured tissue paper that covers the contents of the box. You’re rambling about how he needs to ‘hurry up please’ and ‘oh you’re gunna love it!’ as he moves the paper aside. His thick fingers are met with cold metal, and his initial thought is that maybe you’ve bought him a new chain, which certainly isn’t a small gift. “Baby, what did I tell you about—“

But once he’s pulled the gift completely free from the box he realizes his guess his completely wrong. Instead he’s met with the sight of two hello kitty charms dangling in front of him. They’re the same, it’s hello kitty herself and her boyfriend Daniel (yes, he knew that because of you, though he’d never admit that to a soul) riding together on a moped. When he looks close enough, he notices that you’ve done your best to paint the same twin dragon across the side that’s tattooed on his head, as well as painted on his motorcycle.

“They didn’t have one riding a motorcycle, so this was the closet thing!” You’re so excited you’re giggling through your words, quick to grab at your phone on the coffee table before holding it up with a large grin. “We can put them on our phones and match!! Happy birthday daddy~!”

Typically Ken would question your little gifts, sometimes even going as far as telling you as gently as possible that he didn’t need them. But right now, seeing how excited you were, how much effort you put into finding something that yea, was maybe much more your style, but reminded you of him? Plus, the way you were bouncing on his thigh so much that your skirt was bunching up? (This was an added bonus, of course.)

A smile curled on his lips, and before you could get another giddy word in he cupped the back of your neck, bringing you in for a kiss. You sighed into his mouth, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as the embrace deepened. He pulled away just enough to speak, lips pressing feather like kisses to your pretty glossed lips between each word. “They’re perfect baby, you’re so good t’me. Thank you..” He nuzzled his nose up against yours just to hear you giggle, before he brought the cute lil charms in front of your face again. “Can you put it on daddy’s phone f’me? Then we can take a picture with them on in the mirror, Kay?”

Draken Birthday Party Masterlist. 💛

#SCREAMINGGG #JSNWKKA #I’m keeping this one safe 🥺💖✨ #cause it’s just me and him <3333 #happy birthday draken #tokyo revengers #tr draken #draken fluff #draken x you #draken drabble #draken hcs #ken ryuuguji #ken ryuuguji fluff