#odin: this is NOT an abusive household!!!

[tyrannuspitch]

we know enough about odin to conclude that he is the worst father in the universe but. hmm. due to the fragmented nature of the story we actually get to see. i am still Somewhat Fascinated to know what odin is actually like to live with. because we only see him in major crises, and major crises are clearly not the only situations where his sons are supposed to fear him.

like idk... something about the way loki says the phrase "defying father"... especially given that he and thor are both firmly adults at that point... hmm. haunting.

#space viking tag #of course it's not Normal Or Okay for kids to be afraid of their parents #but it's often *normalised* #running a household where your *adult* sons talk about you in those terms is going above and beyond what's normalised #also just. hmm. the fact that they are officially adults but they don't seem to actually have more independence than kids #just more responsibilities #or. okay 'independence' might be the wrong word. but they don't have any SPACE #odin is inescapable. they live in his house. they effectively work for him. and they're the closest people to him apart from frigga #hmmm. #meta #ch: odin #ch: loki #ch: thor #r: loki + odin #r: odin + thor #th: abuse + empire #th: childhood + immortality #th: servant prince

[themousefromfantasyland]

The Creatures of Yuletide: The Lost Christmas Goddess

This is my last Creatures of Yuletide of the year, so I decided to finish with something huge, an ancient winter goddess that had her feast day exactly on Christmas day and whose influence can still be felt to this day. This goddess has many names and many forms across the Alpine Region, but for sake of clarity, I will refer to her as Holda.

Holda is a figure associated with motherhood, winter, and spinning and weaving. Stories and myths about her spread across Germany, Austria, and Switzerland, usually involving her being both an angelic presence and a demonic force, rewarding the good and punishing the wicked. The anthropologist and archaeologist Marija Gimbutas believes she was the Germanic supreme goddess and is older than the Germanic pantheon, including deities like Odin, Thor, and Loki. She also says:

"[Holda] holds dominion over death, the cold darkness of winter, caves, graves and tombs in the earth….but also receives the fertile seed, the light of midwinter, the fertilized egg, which transforms the tomb into a womb for the gestation of new life."

With the Christianization of Europe, myths and stories about her survived in the countryside and as folk stories.

Jacob Grimm, of the Brothers Grimm fame, in his seminal work 'Teutonic Mythology', described her basic characteristics:

“In popular legends and nursery tales, frau Holda (Hulda, Holle, Hulle, frau Holl) appears as a superior being, who manifests a kind and helpful disposition towards men, and is never cross except when she notices disorder in household affairs. […]

From what traditions has still preserved for us, we gather the following characteristics. Frau Holle is represented as a being of the sky, begirdling the earth: when it snows, she is making her bed, and the feathers of it fly. She stirs up snow, as Donar does rain: the Greeks ascribe the production of snow and rain to their Zeus: so that Holda comes before us a goddess of no mean rank. [...]

Another point of resemblance is, that she drives about in a waggon. She has a linchpin put in it by a peasant whom she met; when he picked up the chips, they were gold. Her annual progress, which like those of Herke and Berhta, is made to fall between Christmas and Twelfth-day, when the supernatural has sway, and wild beasts like the wolf are not mentioned by their names, brings fertility to the land. Not otherwise does 'Derk with the boar,' that Freyr of the Netherlands (p. 214), appear to go his rounds and look after the ploughs. At the same time Holda, like Wuotan, can also ride on the winds, clothed in terror, and she, like the god, belongs to the 'wutende heer.''

The Brothers Grimm also collected a tale about her in which she appears as Frau Holle, and it can be found here. Resuming, an abused stepchild loses a spindle in the well and jumps there to get it back, only to find herself in the magical realm of a kind woman named Frau Holle that has the power of making snow in the real world when she shakes her featherbed pillows.

The girl does the household chores for the old woman and is rewarded by returning to the real world with a shower of gold and the spindle which had fallen into the well.

Jealous, the stepmother sends her biological daughter to try the same, but the girl is so unhelpful that Frau Holle sends her back with a shower of pitch.

Basically, Frau Holle is the female version of Morozko.

Holda is associated with many of the evergreen plants that appear during the Yule season, especially mistletoe and holly, and she had her feast day on December 25, Christmas day.

An early-13th-century text listing superstitions states that "In nocte nativitatis Christi ponunt regina celi quam dominam Holdam vulgus appelat, ut eas ipsa adiuvet.” This text, an Aberglaubenverzeichnis (a common late-medieval and early modern genre), was compiled in the years 1236–1250 by Rudolph, a Cistercian monk. Translating, it states the following:

"In the night of Christ's Nativity they set the table for the Queen of Heaven, whom the people call Frau Holda, that she might help them".

Hulda was known as a goddess of women, which eventually tied her to magic and witchcraft, and she is specifically called out in the Canon Episcopi, written around the fourth century. Those who honored her were required, as faithful Catholics, to do penance. The treatise reads, in part:

"Have you believed there is some female, whom the stupid vulgar call Holda ... who is able to do a certain thing, such that those deceived by the devil affirm themselves by necessity and by command to be required to do, that is, with a crowd of demons transformed into the likeness of women, on fixed nights to be required to ride upon certain beasts, and to themselves be numbered in their company? If you have performed participation in this unbelief, you are required to do penance for one year on designated fast-days.”

Holda was widely mentioned in catalogs of superstitions and sermons during the 15th century, and in the 16th, being equated with other female figures like Diana, and Herodias, the princess that asked for John Baptist’s head.

Her motherhood aspect also is used to link her with the Virgin Mary, and she is the goddess to whom children who died as infants go.

Holiday figures like the witch Frau Perchta from the Alpine Region, and the witch La Befana from Italian folklore, both associated with Epiphany, the feast that celebrates the visit of the Three Wise men, are sometimes linked back to her.

This holiday season, I hope this ancient winter goddess blesses you all and brings a reward for all the good you put out to the world this year. Happy holidays my friends.

@ariel-seagull-wings @thealmightyemprex @tamisdava2 @princesssarisa

#The Creatures of Yuletide #Christmas #holiday season #frau holle #Germanic folklore

[galaxythreads]

I thought your analysis of Loki's behaviour was fascinating but what I really gleaned from it is how much more Loki in the series is like Loki in mythology than Loki from Thor 1 was. It feels like he's free of the shackles of royalty that made him act so withdrawn before. Either that, or it implies some terrible trauma that changed his behaviour and MADE him quiet and withdrawn and nervous.

If we look at it from a narrative perspective, yeah! Loki was traumatized and quiet all the time because he was traumatized. How you live in your abusive household vs on your own is really different. And you seem like a different person after leaving. I think the idea of S1 Loki acting so differentiy because he feels safer out of Thanos and Odin's reach is a really interesting way to look at that.

#loki #loki season 1 #i do think it's just inconsistent writing #but this is an interesting way to look at it :)

[worstloki]

Odin: you need to pick your battles

Loki: The Battle Of Hogwarts, May 1998

Odin:

Thor:

Odin:

#loki: you didn't specify the options #Loki: and hoGWARTS would mean I don't need to live here with you guys #Loki: and your abusive tendencies #odin: this is NOT an abusive household!!! #hela ripping through the portal: you WANNA say that again??? #and THATS how ragnarok should've started #with hela breaking through odin's weak defences because she was finally motivated to stop ruling Helheim in order to make fun of odin

[dailylogyn]

Logyn Meta: Loki & Sigyn’s Relationship in Mythology

It’s a classic tale, and arguably one of the most famous in mythology: How Sigyn held a bowl above her lover’s head to shield Loki from the snake’s venom, in turn, holding back Ragnarok a little longer. 

But how did Loki and Sigyn come to be married? How did they meet? How did they fall in love? 

With so many questions, but few answers we are left with in what has survived with the stories today, we are often left to ponder how the story of Loki and Sigyn came to be. As have many others before me, I will be exploring my thoughts with what information we are given to ponder as to how these two lovers became a thing.

To answer this question, we must go back to the beginning where Sigyn was first introduced to us in the mythologies, presenting the ONLY information we know about their relationship -- specifically: The Poetic Edda & Prose Edda.

In the poem, Lokasenna, the most famous of poem’s with the couple, it talks of how Loki has been bound by the gods with the guts of his son, Nari, and how his son, Vari, has been turned into a wolf. The Goddess Skadi fastens a venomous snake over Loki’s face, from which venom drips. Sigyn, stated as Loki’s wife, stays by his side and holds a basin under and catches the venom so it won’t drip onto her husband, but when the basin grows full, she pulls it away to empty it, during which time venom drops onto Loki, causing him to wither so violently that earthquakes occur that shake the entire earth. 

In the poem, Gylfaginning, Sigyn is introduced in Chapter 31 as being married to Loki and that they have a son by the name of “Narfi or Nari”. She is then mentioned again in Chapter 50 where events are described differently than in Lokasenna; Vali, described as a son of Loki only, is changed into a wolf by the gods and rips apart his brother, “Narfi or Nari.” The guts of Nari are then used to tie Loki to three stones, after which the guts turn to iron, and Skadi places a snake above Loki. Sigyn of course catches the venom in a bowl. This process is repeated until he breaks free, setting Ragnarok into motion.

In the poem, Skáldskaparmál, Sigyn is introduced as a goddess, an Æsir, where the gods are holding a feast for their visitors and in kennings for Loki: “husband of Sigyn” and “cargo [Loki] of incantation-fetter’s [Sigyn’s] arms.”  

Now, knowing the little knowledge we have on their relationship, it’s time to explore it from the Viking’s point of view, which is where this all pretty much originated from, in order to understand it better.

Viking Way of Love and Life

I’m no expert in this category, in fact, I’m still learning about it as I go, but there are some important key things to note here about the Viking’s POV on things and how it ties into Loki & Sigyn’s relationship. 

Divorce was completely acceptable in Viking Times. In fact, women could own property, request a divorce and reclaim dowries if a marriage ended. She could divorce him for a good number of reasons actually. 

Women often remained faithful to their husbands, although they were known to have extramarital sex. If they were caught cheating by the husbands, it usually ended pretty badly for the women. 

A Man couldn’t marry his concubine, so his wife wouldn’t have to feel threatened about competition. They usually all lived in the same household. Adultery concerning the husband was okay, but not the wife.

Vikings didn’t categorize people as homosexual, bisexual, straight or etc.They differentiated between submissive and dominant roles in sexual relationships. Homosexuality was acceptable with limits.

Poetry was a big part of Courtship. 

Typically marriage was usually for alliances, set up by families and parents. However, this doesn’t mean there wasn’t romance or love between couples or potential marriages. 

Family life was important to Norse Men and people usually aimed to survive: typically by marrying and having children. 

How does this apply to Loki and Sigyn? Now, let’s dive into the typical hypothesis of their relationship. I call it a typical hypothesis because it hasn’t really been outright pointed out in the mythologies, but it’s something the Mythology community usually agrees on concerning Loki and Sigyn’s relationship from what we know here.

A Hypothesis into Loki & Sigyn’s Marriage

The marriage between the two of them alone is usually questioned by others, especially concerning Loki’s chaotic nature and Sigyn’s undying loyalty. Obviously, she could have divorced him whenever she wanted to if things were bad, but instead she remains by his side which leads us to the fact, not only does she truly love Loki, but she also knows more to him than we do -- as if there is a secret hidden side to the god of Mischief.

It is sometimes implied that the marriage between Loki and Sigyn was an arranged one to establish position in Asgard  -- as marriages typically were in Viking Times. This doesn’t mean there wasn’t love between them, In fact, it could have been a perfectly arranged marriage. 

Sigyn isn’t blind to Loki’s flaws, knowing perfectly well how her lover is and accepting him flaws and all -- unlike the other gods. It’s more than likely she knows about his other children: Jormungandr, Sleipnir, Hel and Fenrir, just as she probably knows about his affair with Angrboda. Again, this wasn’t an uncommon thing in Viking Times for a man to have another lover and other children with them. 

Loki is very much a family person, just as he enjoys having fun. There has never been anything alluding to him abandoning his family or abusing Sigyn and his kids despite what pop culture or other versions may say. Instead, they have been taken away from him by others in someway (ex: Vali having to kill Narvi as the gods use his insides as Loki’s bindings. Odin taking away all of Loki’s children, making Hel the ruler of the underworld, Jory the serpent of Midgard’s sea and Fenrir locked in bonds. Lets also not forget Sleipnir becoming Odin’s horse and most of his children dying during Ragnarok because of said gods. Sigyn’s whereabouts are unknown and Angrboda is dead. Case in point: I’d wanna start Ragnarok too.) 

Vikings typically used motifs or symbolism with their writings. This is where the “opposites attract/compliment each other aka Balance of nature’ comes into play. While Loki is outright known as a Trickster God, hence the God of Mischief (which is typically harmless pranks or fun), but it usually ends with bad results for him, turning into Chaos. And what’s the opposite of Chaos? Constancy and Order. Although it isn’t outright stated, she is pointed out as Loki’s loyal wife and seems to offer that Constancy to his Chaos. Hence, some of us refer to them as “Different Sides of the Same Coin.” 

Conclusion

Loki and Sigyn’s relationship is typically misunderstood by others nowadays thanks to how little information we have on them in the texts, some peoples own interpretations of their relationship (*coughs* MARVEL COMICS *coughs*) and how much Sigyn still remains to be unknown by others. 

I believe that if their relationship was to be portrayed in the proper way, taking everything here into note and not given to writers who don’t understand or refuse to take the time to understand their relationships/characters, they might actually be understood better overall. A good example of this I’ve found myself is from the German Movie: Mara and the Firebringer and Neil Gaiman’s book: Norse Mythology. They both explore Loki and Sigyn’s relationship in a proper light, not undermining either of them and exploring their thought process and actions in ways that only strength their relationship and one another as individual characters bonded together in marriage. 

Bonus mention to The Bifrost Incident by The Mechanisms for their interpretation of Loki and Sigyn’s relationship as well. 

_____________________________________________________________

SOURCES:

Viking Love: 8 Facts about Love and Love making from the Vikings - https://historycollection.com/eight-facts-love-marriage-viking-style/

The Love Life of the Vikings - https://historyofyesterday.com/love-life-of-vikings-f21c9ed58d4e

Norse Mythology Character Tropes - https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/NorseMythology

Mara and the Firebringer TV Tropes (SPOILERS BEWARE) - https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/MaraAndTheFirebringer

Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology (Book) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_Mythology_(book)

The respective Edda’s are linked above by their names. 

#logyn #norse mythology #sigyn #loki #Constancy & Chaos (Logyn) #loki x sigyn #loki and sigyn #logyn meta #the bifrost incident #mara and the firebringer

[bigbazoxngas]

People comparing Loki and Sylvie's trauma, are you aware that putting ones trauma over the others is inherently victim blaming and a completely unnecessary argument.

The amount of times i've seen people water down Loki's trauma to say that Sylvie's had a worse life is the most infuriating and genuinely hurtful things i've seen come out of the show.

Like for example, people will say "yeah, Lokis dad was shitty but he lived a life of LUXURY meanwhile Sylvie was RUNNING her WHOLE LIFE" life FUCK OFF. Trauma is trauma, no matter how bad, no matter if people have it "worse off" it's still TRAUMA.

It's inherently victim blaming to compare and contrast Sylvie and Loki's childhoods in such a way because no matter what your going to one victims hardship over the other, you'll call Loki overly sensitive for emotional abuse just to say that Sylvie's had a tough life, no matter how you cut it that's not okay.

This debate is pointless your doing nothing but invalidating victims of abuse just to elevate one character over the other.

You literally just.... don't have to do that, Sylvie having a bad childhood can coexist with Loki having a bad childhood, it does not matter who had it worse, in fact, its fucking impossible to measure who's had it worse because Loki and Sylvie's upbringings were so starkly different you can't compare them.

Sylvie was brought up in a family that was honest about her abduction adoption (though we don't know if Sylvie's Odin, Frigga, and Thor were anything like Loki's so I can't really say if she received the same treatment Loki did, though we can infer her parents were fair to her based on the fact they were honest from day one but then again we are given a pretty vague description of her life cause I think Mike Waldron just didn't fully think her backstory through cause there's so many holes in it) until she was taken by the TVA and spent the rest of her life on the run, bouncing around the timeline until she found out she could hide in apocalypses and plotted her revenge, got her plans temporarily thrown off by Loki, got retraumatized by getting captured and going back to the TVA, etc.

Loki was raised in an emotionally abusive and neglectful household, was taught that his own species were mindless monsters and grew up with war stories and bedtime stories of the monstrous frost giants, was well aware of his parents favoritism for his older brother, was bullied by quite literally everyone around him, committed suicide after figuring out his father could really care less about him, fell into the void was discovered by Thanos and tortured for a year, subsequently being sent to earth to invade it, was captured by the TVA, got tortured by Mobius where he got gaslit into believing he killed his FUCKING MOTHER, was forced to work for them, met Sylvie, almost died on Lamentis, got tortured AGAIN, etc (And this is just series Loki i could go on)

Their lives are so radically different that you cannot compare them, and if you try, you inevitably invalidate the other, I can say I think Loki's had it worse off because XYZ, and no matter how I phrase it I'd still be cherry picking Sylvie's trauma to make Loki's seem worse.

"Well, Sylvie's family actually loved her and she at least had a pretty decent childhood of luxury before the TVA so her life wasn't so bad🙄🙄 Loki's had it worse so the show should focus on it more🙄🙄"

No matter what you do, it invalidates the others trauma, it's not okay, it's victim blaming, and it's completely pointless because it does not MATTER who's had it worse, they both went through horrific things that they didn't deserve.

Quit making trauma a competition, it does nothing but create more grief and toxicity.

#loki laufeyson #loki #mcu loki #the loki series #loki series #sylvie laufeydottir #trauma #cw: child abuse #cw: suicide #discussion of trauma #mental abuse #ableism #victim blaming #fandom #fandom bullshit #no but seriously stop its fucked up #cw: torture #mcu #criticism #lokius shippers dont scream at me im not in the mood to deal with it😒 #long post #looks pointedly at sophia and kate and mike #loki 2021 #loki series critical

[ao3feed-lokiangst]

they say that time heals (they never say that it scars)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/ocDEpSQ

by tired_gae

Loki shot up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat. They were clutching at their heart, their pupils fluctuating as every muscle in their body seemed to convulse. They brought a trembling hand up to their face and traced their lips.

The thread that seemed so vivid in their memory was gone, leaving behind only the phantom feeling of blood trickling down their chin.

Words: 601, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of hell should not be pretty

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Loki (Marvel)

Additional Tags: Loki Needs a Hug (Marvel), Abuse of italics, Nightmares, Loki's Lips Sewn Shut (Marvel), Past Violence, Past Torture, Odin's A+ Parenting (Marvel), Hurt Loki (Marvel), Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Blood and Injury, Talk of Scars and Scarring, Multiple Pronouns for Loki (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Torture, it's vague though, Loki's Punishments (Marvel), Odin sucks, we don't actually talk about much of this explicitly lmao, whoa- processing our trauma??, not in this household, Loki on Earth, stuck with the avengers is implied if you're reading this after reading other parts of the series

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/ocDEpSQ

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #loki #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #angst

[marveliciousloki]

Marvel Analysis: Odin Borson | Was he a bad father?

I've been consuming all the MCU!Loki content since they announced his series, from the movies, the show, interviews, fan analysis, etc. And I feel like there's a characther that gets a lot of hate that personally I feel is undeserved. That is no other than the All-Father himself, Odin Borson (Idk why I make a dramatic intro if it's the post's title). Odin is always portrayed as a shit abusive dad. Which... as much as he is pretty bad, specially in Thor: Dark World, I feel like most of this gets expontentially worse or turned to his only character trait in the fannon.

Now let's start from the beginning... the war with the Jotuns, it is said it was gory, lot of death and suffering, just like any war, but Odin fought in it, leading his army like not only a warrior, but as a king and a leader; fighting in the battlefront regardless of the damage he suffered (losing his eye) and all to defend a race that was merely part of the 9 Realms he had sworn defend. A phrase I've seen used against him is Loki's dialogue "you were knee deep in Jotun blood" well... yeah, but c'mon, he did so to protect Midgard since Jotuns broke peace, he didn't just casually waltz in to Jotunheim to kill random Frost Giants like... Ahem, 2011!Thor...

But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's skip forward to Loki's adoption and early years, shall we? We know he goes to the Jotun temple (probably to pay his respect Jotuns which shows that despite the war, he respected them and didn't fight due to bloodlust), and that's where he fights Loki. Now, it is openly said he had two reasons to adopt Loki that ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE:

In a wave of mercy because Loki was just a baby that just because he was different he was left to die. Idk about you but I would have done the same, Loki was segregated because he had been seen as not enough from his birth and Odin chose to show not just mercy, but love and kindess to him.

Loki runt or not, is the rightful heir to the throne, he was, as Odin claimed "born to be king", just not Asgard's. Adopting and raising Loki to be a good king gave him the chance to, when the time came, Loki could reclaim his throne and since he grew up in a home that taught him a way of mercy and respect (I know that wasn't always the case, but I'll get to it soon) to the other realms and also having a good relationship with Asgard's royalty would not only lead to reforming the Jotuns but also bring in a peaceful and natural alliance.

Notice how throughout the first movie (where Jotuns are mentioned beyond Loki's inheritage) the only 2 characters that don't speak trash about the Frost Giants are Odin and Frigga, because Jotuns aren't monsters, Jotuns are a very important part of their family. Loki had become a spark of hope that peace was achivable...

But not yet.

They needed the people to love Loki first, so that the true color of his skin was no more than that, a color. And meanwhile, they didn't want Loki to feel like the black sheep, as much as I'm not in favor of him not being told the truth, I understand why they did that. Loki would have been in the spotlight but in a very negative way, preventing prejudice is not as simple as saying "just be nice guys".

So they raised Loki, not in the spotlight but not hated, not feared. Certainly he was not going to live up to Thor who had to be trained to become king of Asgard way sooner (considering he's 1500 in IW and Loki about 1050 something, so AT LEAST 450 years before Loki), of course Loki would feel left out for a good bunch of years.

Loki would be on the shadows for a while, since they probably had to prepare Thor to be king, probably under the excuse that he was the older son or Thor being some warrior prodigy (since it's always been mentioned that Thor outshadowed Loki, most likely not only to Odin's eyes... eye) so it was Frigga who looked after Loki and teaching him magic. This maybe isn't ideal but as someone who lives in a similar household structure as the Odinsons (both parents and 2 children) I know it's a normal solution that parents divide their attention prioritizing the son they're more similar, Thor being a warrior hero like Odin, Loki being a witty sorcerer like Frigga. Not good... but I can see their reasoning.

But then, the events of Thor (2011) happen. Thor is an arrogant warrior who wants to be feared by the frost giants, and disobeying Odin's direct commands he goes to Jotunheim and commits literal war crimes. Blah blah blah, Odin intervenes.

Odin's reaction may be out of place but... c'mon, it's not like he casted Thor out for sneaking in the kitchen and breaking an old vase wanting to steal cookies. Thor did a major fucksie whupsie and not only killed living creatures but he got his friends involved and in danger (remember Volstagg got a frostbite burn and Frandal was impaled) all because of Thor's pride. He had all the right to be furious and sent him grounded to reflect on his actions.

We learn throughout the movie that Odin designed a plan to sent him to earth for a while to bring Thor down a notch... and the fact that to Loki he just had to RAAAWWWR to control reminds me of my early childhood. My mom just had to warn me to prepare for consequences (not even having to think about possible punishment because) I'd just stay still and stop misbehaving, while my sister had to be cast out to a corner for a few minutes so she learned her lesson... So Midgard was Thor's corner of punishment.

Okay, back to the reveal scene:

Loki has all the right to feel betrayed, being told you're adopted is not an easy thing to process, so for Loki who's not only adopted but he is of a race considered monstrous... Of course Loki feels horrible. But he's talking out of shock, fear and pain. Odin himself says he's twisting his words, it makes sense why, but his feelings are what belittle him, not Odin, reality is far from that. Wether it was from the beggining or it developed through the years, Odin loved Loki as his son and wanted him to feel loved. Odin raised his voice once through that whole scene when he tells him to stop, and his voice is more full of worry rather than anger or threat.

He's too late.

He was probably going to tell him his true nature after the years so Loki would become King of Jotunheim... which was Odin's plan from minute one so Loki had to find out at some point. But Loki found out prematurely, in a dangerous enviroment in the middle of the battlefield. Odin and Frigga never had the time to tell him in a calm and safe enviroment. Probably not long after Thor's coronation since, with their older son already governing, both former king and queen would have time to help Loki both accept his heritage and learn how to become a king himself.

But... things don't go as planned, Thor goes apeshit in Jotunheim, Loki finds out about his true heritage prematurely and CLEARLY doesn't handle it well, and... Odin falls into the Odinsleep for most of the movie. And while Loki spirals down into madness, Thor is in fact, finding his way. BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT, so we're skipping to the rainbow bridge collapse when Odin awakens.

Loki attacked his brother, attacked his friends, and an innocent town, but fuled by fear of not being enough rather than rage, Odin knows this, and his response is fitting he's calm, just saying "no Loki". Knowing his sons aren't evil he tried to save them both, and could forgive them, even recognizing proudly, that Thor had grown up.

But then Loki join's Thanos troupes, and becomes an absolutely maniac trying to conquer Earth mostly to spite Thor in exchange of the Tesseract that he's intending to give to the Mad Titan who, IS TRYING TO WIPE OUT 50% OF LIFE ON THE UNIVERSE.

Tortured or not, negative emotions fueled by the Scepter or not, this was not the first time Loki had done something questionable like this, a movie earlier he caused severe damaged to Jotunheim killing god knows how many Frost Giants in the process and Odin wasn't angry. The real problem is this:

Does he look sorry to you? He doesn't regret a thing, and if he does, he doesn't show it. Compare it to:

Both times Loki did a horrid thing, but after Avengers (2012)... Loki doesn't seem sorry, he even seems to have somewhat enjoyed it (not that he actually did but gives off that vibe to others trying to look tough). And Odin's treatment to him becomes a lot worse as well, instead of "No, Loki..." he give the lamentable "Your birthright was to DIE! As a child, cast out on a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in, you would not be here now, to hate me", which... Odin please, I'm trying to defend you, help me out.

But to be fair, rewatch that scene, Odin speaks rather calmly (firmly but calmly) at first until Loki spats out the phrase "it is my birthright", Loki is not listening, Loki acts like a psycho, what can Odin do to contain it? Be worse. And lock him up to keep everyone else safe. His son is gone. Because he doesn't want to be his son anymore.

Odin blows up like this only 3 times in the saga. With Thor's banishment, Loki's imprisonment, and the argument he has with Thor about the Dark Elves only a few days after his wife's death. So we have two times where his son did major fuck ups and a mourning blindness.

After Frigga's death Odin loses it, he probably misses his wife like hell and is suffering and can only think of avenging her.

And we don't really see him again until Ragnarok but one scene, when they report Loki's "death" and still looks crushed, after all and regardless of how Loki felt, that's his little boy they're telling him was found dead.

Now let's speed this up because I'm rambling: Hela's banishment probably will sound repetitive at this point, right? Because it is. The reason to it was that he couldn't stop her desire for bloodshed. And despite that once he may have been like that... he wanted to change, he wanted to become someone better and peaceful. Hela didn't, and seeing the pattern she probably did commited practically genocide and so Odin couldn't do anything but banish her.

Summing up, poor Odin, all 3 of his children have murder tendencies, at least the younger two came to know better.

Was Odin a bad man? Not... intentionally. He did a lot of things wrong, for sure, and clearly had no idea how to deliver proper punishment for his children, but... that's a whole different story than to call him the real villain or evil. He was a complex character who did bad things out of not knowing how to keep his murderous children in line. But he loved them, he didn't know how to express it until like... his final moments, but he loved them nonetheless. He had a past he regretted and proably spent years trying to make up for (like Thor did between his movies).

In conclusion, Odin Borson is a complex character that just has layers and layers of complexity and depth and shouldn't be reduced to "shit dad™".

#mcu #marvel #marvel analysis #odin borson #thor #thor dark world #thor ragnarok #ducky babbles

[kandi-pendragon]

The Extras in Merlin Deserved Better

I don’t know why, but I am like. In love??? With the extras on Merlin??

Elena, Mithian, Queen Annis, Daegal, Tyr Seward, Gilli, Will, Sefa, Freya? I just love all of them <3

Except Kara. We don’t talk about her here.

And something that pisses me off the most? Some of the extras (most only appeared in ONE episode) got more character, and more LINES than someone like Percival or Elyan. Like what kinda shit is that?

Daegal was just a mislead boy who lost his mother to Uther, just trying to survive, but at the last moment, just wanted something in his life to be good. To make a difference.

Tyr Seward was a simple boy, optimistic, trusting, and loyal. He would do anything for his mother, and even when he was arrested by the knights, he was able to look the king in the eye with nothing but respect, and a little bit of confusion/anxiety. Not a trace of anger or betrayal. He was so trusting that he walked right up to the bars when Gwen asked him too, which is what got him killed. He’s baby. Don’t even try to change my mind.

William of Ealdor was Stubborn, mischievous, and had a heart of gold when it came to his loved ones. He liked to pretend that he was all for himself, but when it came down to it, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Merlin or his village. He died protecting someone that he didn’t necessarily like, and had enough life left to spare that he used his remaining time to get Merlin out from under the threat of being discovered. His last words before death were: “Merlin. Merlin, I’m scared.” He wasn’t peaceful or accepting, or brave in the face of death. He was scared. And if that isn’t heartbreaking, I don’t know what is.

Elena was a clumsy, lovable mess, who was insecure when comparing herself to other royals. “I’m not the perfect princess, am I?” Once the Shide left her body, she was more coordinated, and more level headed. She understood when Arthur said he didn’t want to marry her, and told him she felt the same. We didn’t get to see her becoming her own person, but she was probably just the same. A young woman who loved riding horses because it made her feel closer to her mother, hated high heels with a passion, and began to learn that she is just as valuable (if not more) as the princesses of other kingdoms. (Her and Mithian would have gotten along great, too, I think.)

Mithian is our next point. She was... (my bi ass wants to write an essay on how beautiful she was but that isn’t the point of this post) ...Incredible. Her father raised her so well, no doubt telling her that she could be anything she wanted to be. Raising her to care for her subjects, until she grew into the woman we met. She loves hunting, and sports, and is friendly to everyone she meets. She gives them the benefit of the doubt, and lets be honest. She had so much fun watching Arthur trip over his own feet. She isn’t afraid to speak her mind, telling Odin exactly what she thinks of him. She loves her father, to the point where she lead Arthur into a trap just so her dad wouldn’t be harmed. She’s rebellious, tried time and time again to escape Morgana, or alert someone of her presence, despite the threat to herself. And at the end of the day, she just wants someone to love.

Sefa just wanted to make her father proud. She never wanted to hurt anyone, but her father was her father, and she would always love him more than life itself. She was shy, and kind hearted, and more than a little frightened of her dad. I like to think that after her father passed away, she considered joining Morgana, before ultimately deciding that she didn’t want to be part of all that bloodshed. No longer living under her father’s wing, she explored Albion, meeting strangers, taking her time to grieve, and eventually finding herself in places she never thought she’d see. It’s what she deserves.

Queen Annis was a strong woman, living under the shadow of her husbands death, but still managing to overcome her bitterness and grief, and seeing the promise of a young King’s future. She was a trusted ally for many years, and could always be depended upon in Camelot’s hour of need. I just think she’s neat.

Gilli just wanted to be noticed. And not looked down upon. He resented his father, not for not using magic, but being a stubborn man who let himself get killed, leaving his young son behind. He was stubborn, and took quite a lot of persuading, (and wrestling with some self-searching and dare I say self-loathing on Gilli’s part) before he finally realized just how strong his father was. He left Camelot with the intent on being better. and that’s really all that matters.

And of course we can’t forget Freya. This girl was so damaged, so frightened, so sure that she was a monster, that she was worth nothing, and Merlin managed to show her that she was in fact, a person capable and deserving of love. She cried when Merlin was late to visit, because she thought he abandoned her, just like everyone else did. In the span of a couple days, Merlin managed to worm his way into Freya’s life to the point where she recognized him in her animal form, and was able to control herself, when it should have been impossible. She is such a complex character, with past trauma, that shows itself in the way she always thinks she needs to be alone, leaving Merlin before he can run away with her. Not to mention, its my personal headcanon that the man that attacked her, the one who she killed, the sorceress’s son? I think that he tried to sexually assault/abuse her. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I thought he was going to kill me.” I just think that Freya was a character that a lot of people who have been sexually assaulted, or abused, could relate too. And it’s really unfair that we only had her for an episode.

Honorable mention? Mary and John, from the episode: Lamia. (S4 E8) Like, How do they know Gwen? I headcanon that Mary was Gwen’s godmother. She was best friends with Gwen and Elyan’s mother, never wanting children of her own, but falling in love with Gwen and Elyan the fist moment she held them. She would watch over them when they couldn’t go with their mother to work. Sometimes they would be able to stay with their mom while she was working for Leon’s household, hence the childhood friendship formed, but sometimes, if their mother was too tired to watch them and also do her job, Mary would take care of them >.< Idk I just think its cute.

I could write an essay about basically every minor character in Merlin. And now I kinda want someone to write a collection of one shots focusing solely on all the Extras that we met.

#bbc merlin #merlin #queen annis #will of ealdor #princess elena #princess mithian #gilli #sefa #tyr seward #daegal #merlin extras #this was a long one #freya

[thetudorslovers]

Odette de Champdivers (also known as Oudine or Odinette; c. 1390 - c. 1425) was the chief mistress of Charles VI of France (the Mad). She was called la petite reine ("the little queen") by Charles and contemporaries.

According to Georges Bordonove, "Odette was the daughter of a maître d'hôtel of the King's Household, certain Guyot de Champdivers", who in fact was her brother. The messages of Père Anselme established her as a daughter of Odin or Oudin de Champdivers, who around 1387 was equerry stableman  at the court of King Charles VI.

Queen Isabeau, the victim of beatings and abuse from her violent, schizophrenichusband, allowed Odette to substitute for her without difficulty. By some accounts, she herself arranged for Odette to take her place in the mentally ill king's bed; by others it is believed that Duke John the Fearless offered the young Odette to the King, in order to ensure the influence of the Burgundian party.Odette and Charles VI had only one daughter together, called Marguerite, who was born by the end of 1407.

Called la petite reine – "the little queen" – by Charles's court, Odette was described as a lively, beautiful young woman with a gentle disposition. Apparently she loved and cared for her unhappy sovereign with the utmost patience and devotion. She is credited with introducing playing cards into France, "for the amusement of [Charles VI] during his paroxysms of insanity".

During the almost fifteen years of their relationship, the King gave Odette rich gifts as a reward for her dedication to him; she also received two fine manors in Créteil and Bagnolet  and the estate of Belleville in Poitou. Odette was at the King's side on his deathbed (21 October 1422); it is said that the last words of Charles VI were her name: "Odette, Odette". In 1423 Odette took refuge in Saint-Jean-de-Losne.

She disappears from records after 6 September 1424. There is some indication that she died in great poverty. She probably died in the Dauphinéin 1425, actually in poverty.A breed of French rose has been named for her.

#odette de champhivers #charles iv #queen isabeau #chief mistress #royal mistresses #maitresse en titre #charles the mad #french history #history #the bastard executioner #renaissance women #women of history #women in history #edit

[tyrannuspitch]

it also really frustrates me sometimes when i want to talk about One Specific Aspect of loki's whole deal but i can't find a more specific word for it than "power" or "hierarchy".

like, it *is* about space racism, but for the vast majority of his life he and most of the people around him didn't *know* that. and it *is* about class/rank... kind of...? but in a weird paradoxical way where he's still nominally a prince, and maybe he's arguably being treated like a servant but even if he is he's a pretty high-ranking servant, used for politics rather than manual labour... but also at the same time, as a jotun he's lowlier than anyone on asgard and the only one (that we know of) who might actually be better described as a slave than a servant, because if he was "stolen" then he is property... and none of it's really summarisable in any particular way because this has always just expressed itself as people being Weird About Loki in particular. like there is SO much secrecy and hypocrisy surrounding this power dynamic that odin has had to make loki into his own unique personal category of disempowered outsider. but also. maybe that's just what a combination of domestic and peer abuse looks like. but it's still hardly a typical relationship when your household and its power dynamics envelop the whole kingdom because your father is THE ALLFATHER. hhhhhhhhhh

#space viking tag #meta #ch: loki #th: abuse + empire #th: servant prince #i know it being hard to describe is what makes this a good story #because they're using the medium to make something unique and non-transposable. they're telling a story that can *only* be told this way #but also. it is frustrating sometimes. i need LANGUAGE. PLEASE!!!

[lokigodofaces]

Okay, so the TVA calls Loki Laufeyson. Does Loki himself even know what he wants to be called? He doesn't like Odin (which I don't blame him for), so he probably doesn't want to be called Odinson (at least during the show/Avengers. He calls himself that in IW, as sort of a gesture of his loyalty to Thor). Laufeyson is just a reminder that he is Jotun, that he is lesser, that he is inferior, that he was unwanted by his birth parents, which lead to his adoption into an abusive household. And I know some call him Friggason on tumblr but Frigga was just as bad with the abuse, so he wouldn't want to call himself that. He's been introducing himself as Loki of Asgard, without listing his parentage, probably because he doesn't want to be known as Odin's or Frigga's or Laufey's son. Tom Hiddleston showed us his signature, and it was only Loki, no -son. So, either way, whatever the TVA calls Loki it's not going to be great, but Laufeyson I feel might be the worst because it is a reminder that he was unwanted, that he is Jotun, that he is lesser, that he is inferior, that he is a monster, and that he never really was Odin's son.

#i call him loki laufeyson in my tags & stuff bc i like the alliteration #& id be annoyed if everyone had a last name but him #but in canon can they just say loki? #unless he gives express permission to call him otherwise #i have feelings about this bc my friend doesnt go by her birth first & last names anymore #she was in an abusive household finally got out & is going by a different name as a clean slate sort of deal #not legally changed yet tho & ppl keep calling her by her og name & can everyone stop??? #so yeah i have strong feelings about this sort of thing anyway so i am annoyed when i see it in fiction #like pls be nice to my characters #& no i dont hate it when its done in fiction good angst but like i want ppl to be happy #i war between whump & happiness daily #loki laufeyson #loki (2021) #loki (2021) spoilers #loki odinson #loki friggason

[kairoswrites]

The Secret Hunters, Royal Guard, and More

The (incomplete, roughly) original character cast from my FFXV/Harry Potter crossover series we were faster on our feet, as of the fourth fic “time to change the road we’re on”; Dave and Monica are the only canon characters of this lot.

The Secret Hunters/Lucian Vanguard (In Order Of Oath-Swearing/Age):

David "Dave" Auburnbrie, head and coordinator of the Secret Hunters Finn, the second to have been sworn to Harry, second-oldest but not second-most-mature, orphan turned street kid who knows Ravatogh inside and out, gender neutral/never mentioned pronouns; accomplished arsonist Aggie, leader of the outbound scouts, Knife Nut, knows the wilderness of Cleigne like the back of her hand, same age as Dave and Finn; message courier and supply runner Edward and Alphonse Elric, blond and amber-eyed, mixed heritage (mother from Niflheim, father from Lucis), refugees from Niflheim, shout-outs to FMA: Brotherhood; contact for cells in Duscae Marnie, who is very light on her feet, trickster, Loves To Garden (Has Semi-Green Thumb), masqueraded the most as Cor when Operation: Leonis Eternal was going on; thief, spy, and saboteur Sonora Reluceo, silver-tongued and clever, dry wit, great with paperwork but even better as a mediator and haggler Odin Durus, relocated from abusive home, came from same orphanage as Peter, partnered with Quintus; loves the beach, the more outspoken of the pair; contact for cells in Leide Peter Sollers, relocated from abusive home, came from same orphanage as Odin; pretty quiet, keeps to himself a lot, great friends and partners with Ken; Cleigne support Quintus Vallis, fifth son of a house of eight children, partnered with Odin; extremely good at blending into crowds and combing the rumor-mill for information; contact for cells in Leide Judie Dyer, daughter of dead Hunters, sister of Ken, the rare well-adjusted orphan/courier/rebel/Secret Hunter; message courier and supply runner Ken Dyer, son of dead Hunters, brother of Judie, great friends and partners with Peter; has a soft spot for the younger children of the Granica House, learning to knit from Harry; Cleigne support Florence Campbell, orphan from outer Duscae who traveled all the way to the Granica House, Picky As A Cat; message courier and supply runner 

The Royal Guard

Captain Astraea Nimbus, Referred To Only By Last Name, head of Harry's immediate Royal Guard detail; veteran of the Great War, hyper-competent, barrier queen, call sign Nimbus-1 1st Lt. Simon Otto, Lestallum accent, cheerful, the warmth to Nimbus's dour seriousness, hell on wheels (crazy driver) and squad medic, call sign Nimbus-2 2nd Lt. Griffon Aubelle, stern with an iron backbone, extremely talented but quietly competent, squad sniper and ordinance expert, call sign Nimbus-3 Warrant Officer Kabira Fores, quiet wit, looks to utilize least effort for maximum gain, squad mage and magical powerhouse, call sign Nimbus-4 Warrant Officer Monica Elshett, newest addition to Nimbus Squad, transferred from Crownsguard and still works as liaison, precision magic control rivaling Lucis Caelum talent, squad administrative and intel expert, call sign Nimbus-5

Technically, Astraea Nimbus should be a Major instead of a Captain as she's the head of HRH Harry's entire security detail at the moment, but the Royal Guard bends a lot of rules with their canonical five-person squadron. So, HRH Harry would be considered the Colonel of his own guard regiment (of rotating Royal Guard Squadrons; he only has the one because Regis didn't want to overwhelm him), while HM Regis would be Colonel-in-Chief of the Household Division.

Miscellaneous

Auntie Mae, She Who Rules Cleigne, unofficial official godmother of Ravatogh, quite possibly Minerva McGonagall Ardor Scientia, Ignis Scientia’s uncle, who served as part of Regis Lucis Caelum’s Retinue before he was reassigned Titania Highwind, the mother of our favorite canon mercenary

#we were faster on our feet #from the author #original characters

[worstloki]

Odin: Thank you for bringing my son back unharmed. I guess. Sorry his brother attacked him which put your neighbourhood in danger. You know what they say, boys will be boys.

Sigyn: hmm, yes, and girls will be girls. so if thor attacks my loki again I'll kill him.

#loki tries to get thor to end a fight logically or something and thor doesnt listen and them blames loki and starts fighting him #the whole incantation fetter thing meaning she can glare at thor and have his lightning be bound to himself till further notice helps #suddenly thor is making his way back to asgard on his own with the warriors 3 and loki's staying over at sigyn's because why not #OH so a reversal on the myth sigyn thing where instead of being bound to loki or whatever she can bind everyone's magic except loki's #imagine sigyn just walking into the palace like 'hi whaddup my name is sigyn im 19 and you never *(!@&^$ING took care of loki'' #odin cant even kick her out because she just binds people's magic up whenever she's within a certain radius #and that includes odin's magic #AU where sigyn takes one look at loki and jumps straight to 'your household is abusive here come stay with me' #loki says no and sigyn packs her bags and turns up at the palace to stay with him instead because no she wont stand abuse #the entire AU is just sigyn being an incredibly aggressive bodyguard and pulling a sword on anyone who looks at loki weird #loki: i think i might be a frost giant #sigyn pulling out a sword with murderous intent in her eyes: odin lied about WHAT

[perfectly-burning]

2019 was probably the worst year I've lived through yet. It was also the best.

I remember at the beginning, I told myself I would kill myself if I hadn't done anything with my life by the end of it. I wallowed in a deep depression of emptiness, seeing no light at the end of the tunnel and I kept telling myself: is this it? Is this all there is to life? If so I want to die.

In the middle of the year, I was s*xually assaulted. I shut myself off for months and didn't talk about anything, I didn't feel anything. In the middle, I got a therapist to try to work through my problems and went to him 3 or 4 times before realizing that he was telling me stuff I already knew.

In the middle I took a trip to try to reconcile with an old friend. We hooked up, he didn't ever tell me why it didn't work out. In the middle of this year I lost one of my oldest friends, but I gained a sense of knowledge: I can stand the touch and gaze of others. I want to be loved. I broke my heart but it was worth it. And it still hurts to think about him but I also thank him.

At the middle-end of the year I turned 21. I'd always dreamt of this birthday being amazing. Little did I know, it would be the worst. I begged whatever god that existed to just kill me, screamed it at the heavens without a care of who heard. God didn't listen, but a god did. Odin sent me a raven to let me know that he would help me climb up out of the darkness if I let him. I let him, in exchange for weekly glasses of mead as offerings.

In the middle-end of the year I moved out of my abusive parents household into another abusive household. The freedom it brought me was limited but very, very important. I hooked up with a stranger in the end of the year and it taught me that s*x can be enjoyed. At the end of the year I got out of that house, doing my very first real adult thing, pulling it together and keeping it together through 3 months of hell, of battling against the "real adults" who were renting an uninhabitable house to me and my friend and 2 freeloaders who tried to control me through the same narcissistic traits I've dealt with my entire life. At the end of the year I got the sickest I have ever been in my entire life. It lasted a week. I wondered if I would die.

Getting better at the end of the year was the best thing that had ever happened to me. For the first time, I dont feel depressed, anxious, obsessed with food. I still have a long way to go before I am whole, but I feel a sense of hope, I have turned to non-organized non-religious spirituality that has always been a part of me, and maybe shutting that part down is what led me to all of these mental health problems*. I feel as if I have a purpose. I am ready to help others come out of the same darkness I've been in since I was about 15 or 16.

You might call me crazy, but spirituality, this year and all of its lessons taught me that life is worth living, that I have a purpose, that I am here to help people. I reiterate: 2019 was the hardest year of my life, but it was also the best. 2020 is going to be a year of blessings now. Thank you, universe for sending me these lessons because they have brought me to EXACTLY where I need to be, and I am SO SO blessed.

*(I'm not saying that mental health problems come from lack of spirituality. For ME this is true because 14 or 15 was about the time I shut down spiritually and that's when all of my mental health problems started. I l am not attempting to diagnose or treat, I'm just sharing my personal opinions on why I think I felt such depression, anxiety, trouble with food, and suicidal ideation. Everyone has their own path. This is just mine.)

#tw assult #tw sex mention #tw suicice #tw sensitive material #spiritual #spiritualgrowth #spiritualpath #spiritual healer #spiritual heart #spiritually

[holdmecloseandfast]

Fin’amor

Here is the first chapter of my new shielshock fic that I needed to write because reasons. Featuring: courtly love, pining, peak medieval romantic tropes, heaving bosoms, dithering, SKINNY!STEVE, excessive razzing from Sam and Bucky, a motherfucking DRAGON, etc. I’ve posted on AO3 already but since tumblr is being shitty about posts that contain links, I’m posting the chapter straight to tumblr as well. 

~Chapter One~

The journey to the kingdom of Asgard had been a strenuous one. Traversing oceans and lands completely foreign was not for the faint hearted, so it was fortuitous that lady’s maid Darceline Lewis, Darcy to her companions, was hardy in both constitution and spirits. Leaning forward in her seat in the carriage, she flicked the heavy brocade curtains aside to catch a glimpse of the passing countryside. 

“I’ll give you this, dearest Jane, for a heathen, your betrothed’s kingdom is quite lovely.” 

Lady Jane Foster scratched the end of her nose, smearing a small blot of ink at the tip. “Hmm, yes, lovely,” she muttered vaguely as she continued penning into her ever present journal. “Darcy, would you mind checking over these numbers for me?” She proffered the small logbook with an expectant expression on her delicate features. Darcy raised a dark brow, but took the book without comment. As nimble and skilled as her fingers were with needlework, so too was her mind with figures. 

It was this particular ability that had won her freedom from her drunkard father’s home when she was a child. Her father had taken her with him to Earl Foster’s manor one tax day and had unintentionally caught the eye of the Earl when she’d corrected a small error in the calculation of their dues. Impressed, recently widowed, and entirely overwhelmed with the burgeoning genius of his own young daughter, the Earl had immediately offered to take Darcy on to the household staff as playmate and future lady’s maid to young Jane Foster. Her father had taken one look at the sack of coin Earl Foster had offered and never looked back. Neither had Darcy, who was pleased to find herself with a friend who was as intelligent and curious as she. Having a full belly and a warm bed every night was rather nice as well. 

Her eyes slid over the page, absorbing the string of complex formulas with ease. She may not understand the reason for all the calculations, star nonsense that only Jane seemed to comprehend, but she could sort the formulas out beautifully, if she said so herself. She handed the book back as it was and Jane grinned rather smugly. Though highly intelligent herself, Jane often wrote too quickly and ended up making a mess of errors. Or perhaps it was better to say, she wrote too slowly for how quickly her mind worked and thus what she wrote down often left holes in her formulas that Darcy would have to correct. In either case, Jane could be impossibly impatient, a factor that made her needlework completely intolerable to anyone with sight. Thankfully, she had Darcy to help her sort out the knots in her life. 

It was one such tangled knot that had led to Jane’s betrothal to the Crown Prince of Asgard, the kingdom across the Nordic Sea. Several months prior, the two women had stumbled upon Prince Thor as they rode their mares across the beach. It had been a fine evening for stargazing, the moon absent from the sky so that the stars shone all the brighter over the endless sea. It had taken them completely by surprise when a sudden summer squall had arisen, as if by magic, sending the ocean into chaos and blotting out any light. It was this lack of light that led Jane to slightly trample Thor. Being rather disoriented from his ship going down in the storm and then washed ashore only to be run over by a horse, it was understandable that he reacted fairly poorly, frightening the two women significantly. Darcy, ever efficient, pulled the falchion she always kept on her person and bludgeoned the back of his head with the flat of her blade. He’d fallen quite tidily, like a very large, very handsome sack of potatoes. Of course, there was the small matter of him developing a mild case of amnesia for several months. Darcy swore that the shipwreck was just as likely to have caused the memory loss as the blow to the back of the head and rejected all culpability. She did, however, take complete credit for inadvertently finding Jane a suitable husband, both in position and compatibility. It was as he was nursed back to health in the Fosters’ castle, that a profound love grew between the two. When Thor regained his memory, it was a happy realization indeed that he was both a prince of a wealthy, if dreadfully foreign, realm and in need of a bride. 

He had returned to his home some months ago to clear up some distressing business with his father and brother and had sent for Jane shortly thereafter, thus bringing them to the carriage that carried them now. 

“You know, I’ve heard tales of this land being full of magic. Dwarves and giants and even dragons,” Darcy said in a hushed, reverent voice. A shiver of delicious anticipation ran up her spine. 

Jane rolled her eyes and made a very unladylike snort. “You mustn't listen to the Bards. Or Thor. It’s all a bunch of stories to entertain children. Magic doesn’t exist. It’s scientifically impossible.” 

“Says the woman who believes that the miracles of Our Lord Christ Jesus are a load of horse dung.” Darcy made the sign of the cross over herself. No sense in upsetting the Lord even if her lady was a heretic. 

“Tell me how exactly a bit of mud and spittle is supposed to bring back a man’s sight, Darcy.” 

Darcy sighed but did not answer. It was an argument that they’d had many times over the years of their friendship. Jane, for all her brilliance, had a difficult time believing in things that she could not see for herself or reproduce in her alchemical laboratory. Darcy, whose grandmother had been a renowned seer in their village, was more open to the impossibilities of the world. If her grandmother could predict to the hour the births and deaths of every person in their village, then she didn’t see why Jesus wouldn’t be able to heal the blind with a touch or for dragons to roam the earth. 

***

Darcy did not remember her own mother very well. She had died in childbirth with a stillborn son shortly after Darcy turned four. The only maternal presence she remembered was her grandmother, who was rather distant, perhaps by nature of her ability. If Darcy had her choice, she would have wanted a mother exactly like Frigga, the radiantly beautiful Queen of Asgard and Thor’s mother. She was as warm and gentle as a summer shower, and just as refreshing. 

Odin, the Allfather, as they called their king in this realm, was Frigga’s complete opposite. Cold and hard, a bitter wind that cuts through clothes and freezes innards. He watched them all with a single stern, reproachful eye, as the other was covered with an eyepatch, lost in some long ago battle. Darcy was thankful when Frigga ushered them swiftly away from the throne room after their formal introductions to the court of Odin. 

The two women now rested, somewhat uneasily, far beneath the castle in what Frigga had called a hot spring. Indeed, great swells of heated water roiled in pools naturally hewn into the rock beneath their new home. It was blissful to have their bodies completely submerged, the heat working the soreness from their travel-abused bodies. However, it was rather strange to be seated completely naked in a cavernous space where anybody could walk in on them, though Frigga had assured them that this particular cavern was exclusive to the royal family. She did not specify if it were only for the female members of the family, so Jane and Darcy were rather horrified of the thought that Odin might join them at some point. Their only saving grace would likely be the fact that the cavern was nearly completely dark, only lit by dimly glowing sconces along the rock walls. 

They bathed in the waters until their hands and feet were quite pruny and Darcy’s already curly hair had become a riotous mess from the steam sifting up through the strands. Jane, who was uncomfortable with nudity in general, left before Darcy, patting her on the shoulder with a warning not to drown. Darcy murmured something not quite coherent, already half asleep with her head resting against the lip of the pool. She dozed heavily for a good long while but woke with a start when she heard a voice clear. She blinked her eyes, wondering at the haze until she remembered where she was and that the milky blurring of her sight was not blindness but merely great billows of steam. The steam whirled and shifted enough for her to finally see who had joined her in the pool. 

Her first thought was that it was a young boy who had joined her, but the deep voice that carried to her across the suddenly entirely too small pool was certainly that of a man. 

“I’m sorry Lady Darcy, I didn’t mean to startle you. I did not see you there. Well, I saw you, but it was only as I was half in the water and I thought it might be uncomfortable if you woke while I was...uncovered. So I sat down. So that I wouldn’t be, well…” he cleared his throat again, flushing from both the heat of the water and the predicament he’d placed them in. 

He was unusually small for a man, his body fragile and narrow, which excused her initial assumption that he was a child. He had the face of a grown man, however, and not the youth whose voice has only recently deepened and will likely grow taller and heavier in the coming months. He was pale, with the purest pair of blue eyes she’d ever seen. His hair was a soft gold, like spun sunshine and it hung limply against his forehead where he was nervously pushing it aside. A strong, well-shaped nose, high cheekbones, and a mouth that was almost too full and dark for such a narrow, pale face finished out his facial features. He was beautiful, exquisitely so, despite his delicate build. She stared at him and only found her voice when she saw him flush deeper and continue to spout apologies at her. 

“I’m not a lady,” she declared. “Merely Lady Jane’s lady-in-waiting.” 

“Oh.” He seemed unable to respond to that. 

Darcy blinked at him, still a bit addled by sleep, then prompted him. “And you are…?”

He seemed to flounder, as if he’d forgotten. “Yes. Right. I’m Jarl Steven Rogerson.” 

“Yarl? What an odd name.”

“It’s not my name, it’s my title. I suppose the equivalent to your kingdom would be Sir.” 

“Oh,” Darcy extended the word with realization. “So you’re a knight?” 

Steven flashed a brief, shy smile, though there was a sadness to his eyes that confused her. “Something like that,” he replied. He sunk deeper into the water, letting it rise to his ears, hiding himself. 

Ah, she realized, his size must cause him grief, especially if he is supposed to be a warrior. She could see it in his posture, the careful way he held himself, waiting for the cruel line of questioning. How can you be a knight if you are so small? Surely you are too weak to fight? A stiff wind could knock you down, how could you possibly stand a chance against a true Norse warrior? A tenderness unfurled softly in her breast for the man, but was halted by the realization that they were both naked and in a bath together and by no choice of her own. 

“I thought this bathing chamber was only for the royal family?” she asked, somewhat sourly. 

Steven hemmed and hawed a bit at that. “I am Prince Thor’s brother-in-arms and one of his close friends and was given permission to use the chamber so that...well, the public chamber can be…” here he flushed rather brilliantly, shame clear on his face, “too public, I suppose.” He shrugged, a sad little arching of his boney shoulders. “And I have trouble breathing. Sometimes. The air down here helps.” 

“Be that as it may, you have quite efficiently trapped me in this pool until you see fit to leave.” 

“You may go at any time. I will not stop you.” 

“And let you ogle me in my nakedness? I think not, Sir,” she replied, indignant, crossing her arms tightly over her ample chest, though it was well below the churning water and already obscured. 

Steven sputtered so hard he went into a brief coughing fit. “No, no, you misunderstand me, miss! I would never look at you! Not that there’s anything wrong with you,” he continued frantically at her look of affront. “I mean to say, I would love to look at you because you are,“ he gestured at her face, his own nearly glowing in the dim light.

“I’m what, exactly?” she arched a brow. 

“Well, you know, a gorgeous girl. Woman! But I wouldn’t. Look at you, that is. I’d close my eyes,” which he did immediately, though out of chagrin more than any deference to her modesty. “To be respectful,” he finished rather dejectedly with a blind flap of his hand in her general direction. 

“I see.” 

Steven sighed and opened his eyes again, the blue ringed by thick, dark lashes. “I’m sorry,” he said earnestly. She wasn’t sure if he was apologizing for the predicament he’d put her in, the stumbling of his speech, or himself as a whole or some dismal combination of the three. The tenderness started blossoming again. 

She narrowed her eyes at him and then softened the expression, letting a conspiratorial smile slide across her mouth. “Forgiven. But just this once. Now, if you would please turn around and close your eyes, I would greatly appreciate it.”

He nodded emphatically, turning swiftly in his seat. She could see every knob of his spine, each curve of his ribs. Was the man not being fed? What kind of friend was Thor if he couldn’t keep his friends well fed? She pursed her lips. She’d need to talk to Jane about this. She slipped from the pool on legs gone loose and wobbly from abuse and hot water, gingerly making her way to where she’d stored her clothes on a shelf of rock. She dressed quickly, the fabric clinging to her wet, heated skin, and cleared her throat when she was decent. True to his word, Steven had kept his back to her. “I am clothed now, Jarl Steven.” 

He turned slowly, his eyes drinking her in, in a way that should have been distressing but sent a shiver of heat over her scalp. “I apologize again for disturbing your rest.” 

Darcy nodded and gave a slight curtsy, suddenly tongue-tied, then turned abruptly and left.

***

The wedding was lovely, if a bit different than what Jane and Darcy were used to. For one, it was not a Christian ceremony at all, but done in the pagan style that was customary for Asgard. Jane, who was no great believer to begin with, found the ceremony to be fascinating and infinitely more efficient with a lot less stuffy, time consuming fuss. There was more emphasis on the feast after the wedding than the ceremony itself, which was a rowdy, joyful event that the entirety of Asgard seemed to have attended. During the feast, Thor had taken it upon himself to try and matchmake, introducing Darcy to his closest eligible friends in the hopes that one of his noblemen would be to her liking. She protested the introductions, feeling hopelessly inadequate as a marital prospect to men of nobility. She was a lady’s maid. To the ruling class of men she could only ever be a dalliance, perhaps even a mistress, but never a wife. And she had no desire to be mistress or dalliance. To any man. Thor had brushed her delicately stated concerns aside with a wave of his meaty paw, mumbling something about jarls and karls not being so insular with their courting, whatever that meant. 

She found his friends Hogun and Fandral to be polar opposites in demeanor, the first abysmally solemn and the second a born rake, if she was any judge, and so neither were particularly alluring to her. She did find Fandral to be a skilled and enthusiastic dancer...along with every other maid in Asgard. A few other men were presented to her, but all were the stalwart, warrior type and were entirely too dull. If she were to rap her knuckes against their skulls, it wouldn’t have surprised her in the slightest if she’d been met with a hollow clang. 

She was nearing the end of her patience when Thor introduced her to a final trio of companions. The first, James Barnesson, was notably missing his left arm, but it was clear by his muscle-bound body that he was still a capable warrior. He also happened to be a divine dancer, unerringly graceful, and had a dry, quiet humor to him. Dark headed, and blue eyed, he was incredibly handsome, but there was a wariness around his eyes that told Darcy he was a man who would not give his heart so easily, if at all. The second, Sam Wilson, was equally handsome, with the dark skin and eyes of the peoples of the distant southern continent. Wickedly funny and a kindred spirit, Darcy felt an immediate affinity for the man, though it edged loser to kinship than romance. The third man, she’d already met. 

“Good evening, Jarl Steven, it is good to see you again. And this time with the benefit of us both fully clothed.” She smiled impishly at him, inordinately pleased when he blushed from scalp to collar. He was looking especially handsome dressed in a tunic in brilliant shades of crimson and white, with dark blue knotwork embroidered at the collar and hems. He cleared his throat at the askance looks he received from Thor, James, and Sam, but Thor was the first to find his voice. 

“You sly dog, Steven,” he rumbled, clapping him on the shoulder so hard that he swayed under the weight. “Plundering the goods of my wife’s homeland already, are you?”

At the truly furious look that was dawning over Darcy’s face, Steven quickly shoved off Thor’s hand at his shoulder, shaking his head emphatically. “No! Nothing like that! It was an accident.” 

Sam and James exchanged a droll look and then James bent to make a low comment in Steven’s ear that sounded suspiciously like what, did you trip? Steven threw a sharp elbow at the other man’s middle--though it did about as much damage as throwing a pebble at a tree trunk--and then promptly began sputtering and choking on his words in his haste to get them out. 

Darcy, indignant to the point of blushing rather atrociously herself, had had enough and made a brief, ill-tempered account of her first meeting with Steven. Sam and James had merely shrugged at the explanation, and Thor seemed disappointed, if only for a brief moment, until his genial nature returned. 

“Ah well, perhaps later,” was his wholly inappropriate response. “My brothers, I fear I have left my wife for far too long and must return to her,” he continued, speaking my wife with a joyful reverence that Darcy found endearing, despite his heathen-like behavior. “I leave Darcy in your very good hands.” 

She found the wink he shot at the trio of friends to be significantly less endearing. 

She spent the rest of the festivities dancing with either Sam or James and carefully avoiding Fandral, who she most certainly saw groping the backside of a young woman, out in the middle of the great hall for all of Asgard to see. Actually, many of the revelers were quite deep in their cups at that point and there was a pandemic of groping by both male and female attendees that had Darcy thanking her blessed stars that her choices in dance partners appeared to be the only respectful, and sober, men left in the hall. Her feet were aching when she finally begged pardon from James and Sam and took a seat back at the high table. She located Steven easily enough, and finding him alone, decided to join him. He sat up straighter at her arrival, looking a bit as if he’d swallowed his tongue. 

“I am so sorry for earlier,” he spouted as she took her seat. 

She smiled gently at him, briefly laying her hand on his forearm with the lightest of touches. He stilled beneath her and her own heart reacted to the touch with a startling lurch. She quickly moved her hand away. “It’s alright. It was foolish of me to bring up the nakedness in the first place. I often speak before I have given enough thought to my words.” 

This caused Steven to smile quite brilliantly, his whole face lighting up in such a way that he looked like an illuminated painting of one of the saints. One of the handsomer ones that had not been brutally martyred, perhaps. Darcy took a steadying breath, willing the blood in her veins to cease its singing, her chest rising sharply to press precariously against the neckline of her cambric surcoat. Steven’s eyes dipped down for the briefest flicker and his smile wavered as another blush rode over his cheeks. “Gentle lady, I, too, struggle with speaking too quickly.” His smile twisted slightly. “As you have witnessed in our short acquaintance.” 

“Indeed,” she murmured, and then, “Your friends are both splendid dancers. Did you not desire to dance with me tonight?”

He sunk into his seat, shoulder rising. “It is not lack of desire, but merely lack of ability,” he grit out. “I don’t know how to dance.”

“Ah, I see. And why not? Do you not wish to learn?”

“Perhaps. Someday. Were I to find the right partner.” There was something wistful and far away to his gaze. 

“Oh I understand it now. You are dreadfully captious when it comes to finding a partner, then?” she teased, leaning close to him. 

He squirmed in his seat, rather like a small child who had been caught telling lies. “No, not particularly. It is usually the other way around. The women of our land tend to be singular in their tastes,” he said, nodding over to where a milk-pale young woman with honey-gold hair was stroking tenderly the bulging pectoral of one of the thick-headed warriors Darcy had met earlier. 

Darcy made an unhappy hum and dropped her eyes to her lap, not wanting Steven to see the pity that might be reflected there. Finally, she looked up to find him staring at her, studying her. She chewed at her lower lip. “The world is wide, Jarl Steven,” she said solemnly. “And it is full of wonders. You may find your partner yet.” 

***

Steven watched Darcy slip out of the Great Hall, her dark curls reflecting the wavering torchlight in whorls of earth and amber. He sighed, undeserved relief flooding him at her solitary exit. He had no right to be jealous of whoever she might choose to take to her bedchamber. He hardly knew the woman, but he was relieved all the same that she left alone. She was everything he could wish for in a woman: beautiful, clearly, but also kind and loyal, witty, brilliant...perfect. They’d spent several hours conversing as the wedding festivities continued on until the wee hours of the morning. It was stilted at first, for him anyway, as he was not used to or necessarily very good at talking to women, but she had *something* through with the conversation until he’d hit his stride. Then it had been like conversing with his oldest friends. She was so easy to talk to, funny and charismatic, her clear intelligence keeping him enthralled, a genuine smile always gracing her lush mouth.

Steven leaned his head back against the back of his chair with a low groan. That mouth and those luminous blue eyes and the endearing little gap between her front teeth. He couldn’t wait to paint her, promised himself he would do so soon, but other instincts had him rising from his chair and leaving the hall. He slunk out into the night, heading towards the forest. A hand extended from a wall of shadows beneath the nearest pine, stopping him. 

“You alright, Stevie?” James asked softly. 

He nodded curtly. “I’m fine. You needn’t worry.” 

“That woman get under your skin?”

Steven shook his head, glaring at James’ shadowed face. “It’s got nothing to do with her. I haven’t shifted in awhile...you know how it makes me antsy. I only need a couple hours. I’ll stick to the coast and be back before dawn.”

James nodded and abruptly dropped his arm, turning back toward the castle. “Try not to terrify any fishermen this time, hellion.” 

“I’ll do my best, stubby. Though, if they’ve seen your ugly face before, there’s little I can do to terrify them further.”

James did not reply other than to gesture crudely and slip further down the path to the palace. Steven didn’t linger either. His skin felt feverish and tight and his lungs twisted painfully in his chest. He staggered deeper into the forest, praying no one caught sight of the smoke beginning to spill over his lips and curl from his nostrils. The beast beneath his skin was impatient.

***

Steven Rogerson had been born with smoke in his lungs. He had also been born two months early and by all rights should have perished. Of course, he did not know these things, not until he was older and his mother, Sarah, had sat him down to tell him a story about a boy. A boy who was cursed. But it was no story, it was truth written onto the very bones of his own weak body. 

Sarah had told him that when she had been heavy with him in her belly, she’d run afoul of a witch, one who had cursed the child in her womb, a curse that could only be broken by the kiss of his true love. She told Steven of the moment of his birth, when he came too soon and she feared he would be dead before the midwife even placed him in her arms. She told him of the moment when his mouth popped open with a tiny, weak wail that shot wisps of smoke across the room. She told him of how the midwife nearly dropped him from shock and from the nigh unbearable heat emanating from his tiny body. She explained that he was cursed, but also blessed, because though he was fragile and his childhood had been filled with fevers and uneasy breathing, he would not always be so breakable. 

She told him that when he became a man, he would also become something else: a dragon. She told him that his frailty would break away, and the beast would reign, and he would finally be strong, if only for a few hours. She warned him that the beast within could not be suppressed, not forever, and if he did not make time to fly across the land in his dragon skin, it would burn him up and the change would happen without his control. She warned him that people would covet him. And fear him. 

And then she died. 

Steven was left orphaned, having never known his father, and burdened with a terrible secret. He lived in fear of himself, of what he became when the itch beneath his skin could no longer be ignored. And he hated the way he was feared by those unfortunate enough to find him in his altered state. Was it not curse enough that he was a pathetic weakling? He had to be twice cursed with fire in his veins? 

Very few knew his secret. James and Sam, of course, and the royal family. James he had known since infancy, had weathered all manner of childhood storms together. And it was James who was with him the first time he changed. He’d waited for fear and disgust to darken his friend’s eyes, but there had only been light in them. James had only ever found his dragon self to be fascinating. He’d called him beautiful once; his huge, scaled body a pure gold with a milky belly, his expansive wings like spun sugar. All Steven could see was the monster from fairy tales. 

It had only been a few years into his ability to make the change when Odin approached him. It was to be expected, he couldn’t keep out of sight entirely despite his best efforts, and it was inevitable that rumors of dragon sightings would make it back to the Allfather. With a Seer for a wife, it did not take much longer after that to track down Steven to assess him as a threat. Thankfully Thor had ridden with Odin, and had taken a liking to Steven almost instantly. It was perhaps Thor’s good graces that saved Steven from execution right then and there. With some convincing, he had eventually agreed to come to the Allfathers court, to be made a Jarl and fight beside the Crown Prince. There was nothing like having a dragon on your side when coming up against a horde of Jotnar. Of course, the majority of Odin’s court did not know that Steven fought as a dragon, and he was still seen as a laughing stock to most of the Asgardians. They all assumed his rise in rank and introduction into the court was because he was a bastard of Odin’s, or a charity case, or worst of all, as a cruel joke. It burned him still to hear the tittering laughter that followed him everywhere. 

No woman wanted him as he was. No woman would want him if they knew the truth. The only end to his curse would be death. 

Sam, already a seasoned warrior in Thor’s inner circle, found out by pure accident. Steven had waited too long to shift during one particularly long span of peacetime and was caught needing to change in the daylight hours. In his haste to disappear as deeply in the forest as he could get, he missed Sam entirely, who was minding his own business, practicing his falconry in a nearby clearing. Watching the massive body of a dragon burst forth from a tiny man was enough to make Sam lose his breakfast and had startled the falcon quite considerably as well, unbeknownst to Steven. Some hours later, when Steven had returned to his human form and was trudging exhaustedly through the halls of the palace, Sam had pulled him aside, discreetly relaying what he’d seen. Steven had blanched, his stomach twisting in knots, only to be met with affable acceptance from Sam. 

“Explains why you’re such a stubborn little shit all the time,” he’d commented with a shrug. “All that fire trapped in a little body has to come out somehow.”

Steven had thrown a punch at Sam, who could have easily dodged but let the blow land, earning himself a decent black eye. He had merely arched a brow at Steven’s reaction, vindicated in his assertion. They’d become fast friends shortly thereafter. 

***

It was a relief when his skin cracked open like dried earth, the shimmering gold of him unfurling rapidly until he filled the entirety of the well used clearing with his body. He huffed slowly through a snout grown long and wide, his massive lungs taking in air like bellows and releasing it with heated gusts that curled the leaves of the nearby trees. He drew his head back, stretching the kinks from his long, serpentine neck, and then flexed his wings to their extent blotting out the bright moon and stars. For all that he hated this part of himself, there was a wild, animal ecstasy that came with being strong and breathing easy. He always felt such guilt, that he could so thoroughly enjoy being a monster. Another reason why he was unworthy of true love. His thoughts turned unbidden to Darcy and the self hatred heightened. As sweetly as she’d smiled at him at the feast, it would not change how horrified she would be to see him like this. Shame burned though and swallowed up the joy. 

With a screaming roar, he launched himself into the sky, rising higher and higher until the land beneath him was merely a blur of shadows. He darted toward the sea, his wings carrying him faster than any horse, and reached the ocean with ample time to feast on sea creatures and breathe swaths of fire across the night sky. He would return easily before dawn, his belly and the beast fully sated. 

***

Darcy halted in her preparation for bed, setting her delicate, silk nightgown back into her trunk. She’d thought she’d heard something strange in the distance. The roar of some unfamiliar beast. She took to the window, peering out into the night but seeing nothing. Her eyes glanced at the stars, pausing when she thought she saw something glimmer in the sky a league away. She strained her eyes, then shook her head at her own inanity. Perhaps she should take Jane’s advice and stop listening to Thor’s stories after all. 

#shieldshock #darcy lewis/steve rogers #darcy lewis x steve rogers #skinny!steve #it's getting arthurian up in this bitch #fin'amor