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rearranging-deck-chairs · 11 months

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still thinking about yaz travelling with 10 so heres what i have so far:

she runs into him in london coming out of an interview for unit or smth, a couple of months after potd. for him it's in the gap between waters of mars and end of time. hes So Messed Up and yaz is like oh i know this. this is familiar. this might not be my doctor but,,,,this is my doctor

hes like oh what year is this? i was aiming for- and shes like dont ask me i keep getting it mixed up too. and hes like thats a bit of a strange thing to say, do we know each other? you seem familiar. shes like yes we've met

she surmises he doesnt have company bc hes all high on ginger and not trying to hide it. then shes like youre not flying like this, can i take you anywhere bc this is a fucking tardis and a fucking doctor available to her and how many more times is she gonna get this opportunity? never? once, and she has to wait for it 40 more years? no way is she just gonna walk past and go home. shes gonna do what shes always done and buy herself a little more time

she lets herself into the tardis, too sure of herself for him to really do anything abt it, as she asks "where did you say you were going?" he closes the doors "eternity"

"eternity?" she looks at him "is that a euphemism"

"it's a planet. in the larger magellanic cloud. thought maybe i should check up. sorry but who are you, exactly?"

shes like yes. um. yasmin khan. im a friend. as she stares at the tardis in wonder like the first time she walked in. and the tardis lights up bc she doesnt care about linear time and she loves yaz. so yaz starts putting in coordinates. she has to search for some of the controls bc the console is different but it's not too bad

"well thats great to hear, yasmin khan. can never have enough of those"

"larger magellanic cloud" she says looking at the navigation on one of the screens. "dyou ever think it's maybe a bit weird to name things in space after colonists?"

"well depends whos doing the naming. we dont call it that"

"no? what do timelords call it"

"and seeing as it were human colonists who settled there, maybe the name fits"

"there goes my faith in humanity" and she pulls the takeoff lever

the flight is bumpy as ever and when muscle memory fails her three times in a row shes like oh my god WHERE is your conceptual geometer and instead of pointing it out to her he just walks over and adjusts it and the way he does it is so familiar she has to blink hard a couple times

they might or might not end up on eternity but they certainly run promptly into trouble. yaz is a bit mysterious to him, a bit suspicious maybe because she wont answer any question directly but shes able to anticipate him so well that teamwork is pretty much seamless and theyre both running away from something so their motives line up and their need for something fun and exciting and distracting to happen too and also hes lonely and despite the way she basically hijacked his tardis he likes yaz bc of course he does

they match up timelines while hiding from guards, whispering about 1969 and weeping angels and "oh THATS why i dont remember, two doctors in the same place same time" and he figures out yaz travelled with future him

yaz drops a "she" and hes like "she??" and shes like oh shit should i not have said that and hes like no it's fine. and then hes like "does it suit me?" and she does Not manage to blink the tears away at that one

"is it something i said?" and then the guards spot them and hes like "RUN"

the ease with which he takes her hand as they run is lovely and horrible at the same time. she lets herself be dragged along while she thinks about the way 13 shook them off almost any time any of them touched her

a week & 8 planets in and shes been held by him more than shes been held by 13

they become buddies in like the way that you can sometimes become buddies with the younger sibling of your best friend or something. hes probably too heartbroken and messed up to develop a real crush but it's still yaz right? you know the way 10 kisses claras hand in the day of the doctor? that vibe. and yaz, with the benefit of.........foresight? hindforesight? picks up that vibe here that she couldnt with 13. bc 10 is young and a fountain of emotion compared to 13

my yaz is pretty firmly a lesbian so even if she was gonna get over the like very recent heartbreak and younger sibling vibes then still nothing was gonna happen here but theyre also both not in a place where they could cope with another heartbreak like that so like,,,,,,they both know, and they both know that they both know, but they dont need anything more so it just kinda makes them better buddies. sometimes youre a little bit in love with your friend in a way you dont want to act on. just another thing to bond over

and for yaz it's maybe a little bit healing to get 10s adoration like that

at some point the fact of meeting in the wrong order also comes up of course. yaz is like it's a little bit complicated, i dont know what i can say and 10 is like meh follow your instincts, youve got good ones i can tell. and if theres really something you shouldnt say i'll stop you

yaz is like does that happen a lot, as a time traveller i mean, meeting people in the wrong order? and 10 is like [THINKING ABOUT RIVER] "from time to time"

i just think theres a lot of potential for fun with the two of them. both of them running from the inevitable. not wanting to lose who they are, wanting more time as this version of themselves

yaz will learn so much about the doctor that retroactively contextualises a lot of 13, which i think could help in getting a little bit of closure. and theres so much river echoes sort of going in both ways. yaz flying the tardis with 10 because she learnt with 13, river later flying with 11

i also think seeing the way 10 is about his principles compared to how 13 was would be interesting. she would see a lot of the ways the doctor has grown up. yaz got to see so much of 12 in 13s trauma but she never got to see how 12 learnt and grew to become the 13 she loved. i think it would be special to see 10. see how they used to be. and also slap him on the fingers sometimes when he needs it

i dont know how to end it yet because that will just be more tragedy. 10 still ends up in end of time. yaz still ends up home. but maybe they can help each other a little bit in the time inbetween, even if the end theyre running from still comes to them both

#would love to write a series of them tbh #just like a series of monster of the week fics #doctor who format #10-13 eps #series 4b #yaz&10

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hotdadlicense · 11 months

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hmmm top 5 shows, top 5 animals aaaaand top 5 scenes from any show/movie

loren please..... i lve you.

top five SHOWS.

the walking dead - ................. like it has to be said. i'm so sorry. it didn't even really go 'bad' for me like it did lose me for a hot minute or two there originally but like. when i rewatched i was like no actually i love it here. i love this hot mess. and i tragically fucking do. could really do with bringing certain characters back etc or just dissappearing some storylines but like. i do fucking love it.

breaking bad - i didnt even KNOW what i was in for i was just like this'll be fine this'll be chill. and then my life changed forever y'know.

it's always sunny in philadelphia - my go-to show to have on in the background, to have on when im sick, to have on when i need a laugh, to have on when im feeling miserable, to have on when i just wanna feel like Myself. can probably quote like. every episode by this point.

black sails - literally don't even need to explain this one. bs is already tumblr critically acclaimed. if i could go back in time and watch the season two last two episodes for the first time all over again, i would in a heartbeat. the girl that existed in my bedroom when watching those eps? never seen her before and i'll never be her again.

911 - listen. it TRULY is tv show of all time. u KNOW this i know you know this. u can't put eddie diaz in a tv show and not have it change the lives of millions.

top fIVE animals.

SHARKS. sharks sharks sharks sharks sharks all types all kinds theyre all my children

foxes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please the fennec fox my BABY

long maned wolf.

dogs!

snakes. also HOW is your snake btw i miss them

top 5 scenes!

lets revisit black sails again and say season two finale as a whole? but also the 'in the light there is discovery' forest speech in the series finale............................i get chills like every time. WAIT ALSO 'my name is John Silver. and i've got a Long Fucking Memory.' INSANE acting also idk if this is really technically 'top five scenes' worthy but uknow that line where flints like 'where else would you wake up in the morning and matter?' @ silver??? yeah it ingrained itself into my brain and now whenever my brains having a bad day and being a bitch, it just repeats that line over and over to myself. again i dont know if that makes it a top five thing but boy oh bOY it sure made an impact !

iasip mac finds his pride when mac does the dance and franks crying and is like 'i get it. i get it now.' maybe its cos i feel like there is just a 00.01% chance of my parents ever accepting me and im projecting or whatever but that scene? every fucking time im like........ crying lol

my brain is one big jumble for the walking dead and i just can't pin down one scene? so i'm just gonna take a cop out and say that part where daryl and merle are in the woods huntin when they split off in s3 or whatever after they reunite and daryls got his crossbow simply becos i still remember watching it with my mum and her being like 'oh look at daryls Arms. he's really got Muscles.' and i was like. scandalised. in a Good way. and now everytime i see him in that scene i'm like justin beiber tweet i love Arm.

that scene in breaking bad where jesses in hospital after hank beats the shit outta him in the rv and walt visits him in hospital and jesse has that breakdown in 3.07? jesse pinkman crying in a hospital bed bruised and beaten saying 'i am not turning down the money, i am turning down you.' when he's yelling 'i have NOTHING. NO ONE.' ??????????????? scene of all scenes. wait also the peek-a-boo kid scene in s2

stuggling to think of a last one uh maybe in the seventh fast and furious movie when see you again plays at the end and they're all on the beach and then dom and brian are racing except you know its not paul walker and u know its CGI or whatever and ???? i still cry over that sorry

#msgs <3 #drcloyd #LOVE to ramble im so sorry #but THANK!!!!!!#m

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sageinacage · 3 years

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Hi! Saw your post about Sap and Tubbo and I’ve missed their dynamic sm so I wanted to send in a request! How about lee Tubbo and ler Sapnap? Maybe Sapnap wanted to see if Tubbo was just as ticklish as he was back then and uses one of his favorite tactics a bunch, raspberries?

Still the Same summary: sapnap wants to know if tubbo is still as ticklish as before, in his own sapnap way. a/n: sorry for the wait :( low motivation bc of personal stuff happening, but im doing a bit better so i wanted to get this out asap! hope u enjoy :D warnings: swearing, sapnap is Evil (/lh) w/c: 1.6k DSMP, Platonic

Everyone always says it’s easier to clear your thoughts from a high altitude. Why is that? No one knows, though no one is going to question it either. It’s always nice to enjoy the breeze from up above.

The only problem is, finding that high altitude and then having to climb up to it.

Tubbo closed his home door behind him, glancing around to find some sort of easy-access place he can sit for a while. As the boy walked around, he was quick to notice the gentle breeze that brushed against his cheeks and over his nose.

He sighed, enjoying the perfect weather present on this day, deciding to start walking down the path to town. As he walked, he chuckled as he recognized the spot he was standing at.

The day he and Sapnap had a playful bicker. It involved Tubbo making fun of the demon for miswording something, and a playful fight lasting afterward. The boy chuckled to himself, then his eyes widening.

Thinking about his old friend reminded him of the hill they used to hang out on. The perfect altitude to sit at, might he add. Now walking with intention, Tubbo smiled at the old memories that were unfolding in his brain.

“Here it is, it feels like it’s been years,” Tubbo spoke softly, arriving at the same hill he and Sapnap used to goof off on ages ago. He smiled contently, plopping down on the grass, and leaned against an oak tree that sat on the hill.

He let his head relax back, enjoying the nice breeze brush through his hair and the convenient shade the oak tree provided for him. The people were right, this is a good place to clear some thoughts up.

Meanwhile, a certain demon was also heading somewhere to relax for the day, wanting a break from all the serious ‘bullshit,’ as he would call it. Sapnap looked up at the tree that rested on his favorite hill and saw a figure under it.

He smiled to himself, recognizing a certain ram hybrid settled underneath the shade of the luscious tree. With a mischievous smirk, Sapnap tip-toed up the hill, avoiding any crinkly leaves or twigs along the way, motivated to startle his old friend.

Oh, how much Sapnap missed being so goofy and carefree. It was honestly a natural instinct to playfully mess with Tubbo, almost like how siblings always try to push each other's buttons. It’s safe to say he saw the boy as a little brother.

“Tubbo!” Sapnap squealed, whipping his head around the tree with a giddy smile. “Sap… Sapnap?! Where did you even come from?!” Tubbo gasped, holding his heart dramatically at the sudden scare.

“From down the hill, you goof.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t, why’re you smiling then?” Sapnap sniggered, earning an eye roll from the ram. “Because you’re annoying, and it’s making me smile because of how annoying you are.”

The demon snorted a laugh. Tubbo really was the sassy boy he always remembered.

The two settled underneath the tree together, just catching up. They really needed it, it was obvious on both sides that they both missed each other dearly.

They missed the playful bickering and fights they’d have over literally nothing, maybe a piece of bread if anything. Tubbo especially missed the warm feeling he got while around Sapnap. Was it the feeling of coziness inside of him, similar to the feeling of home you get when you’re around someone you’re genuinely fond of- or was it just that Sapnap is warm because he’s a literal fire demon? Probably both.

All was content and nice until Sapnap had to bring up a redacted memory, one Tubbo couldn’t think about without a wild blush spreading across his face.

“Hey Tubs, do you remember the tickle fights we used to have? Well, not exactly fights since you never put anything up- Ow!” Sapnap rubbed his shoulder where the boy flicked him, a grumpy but obviously flustered scowl painted on his face.

“Embarrassed, are we? C’mon, it’s not like you’re still that ticklish anymore!”

The embarrassed squeak that left Tubbo really just made all the dignity he had left drain away.

“...Or are you?” Sapnap continued, his curious glance turning into a dark grin. “Hey there- buddy, friend, mate- you d- don’t gotta… gotta do it… actually I think it’s getting late and I should be getting home!” Nervous giggles poured out of the boy, shuffling backward on the grass.

Sapnap just shook his head. “I don’t think you’re going anywhere, Tubbo. Not until I get my answer!~”

Oh shit. A surprised squeal left Tubbo as he was wrestled onto the ground, though the boy was strong as well and fought back. “Oh, actually fighting back, are we?~ Now that’s a change!” Sapnap teased, making Tubbo’s body go limp.

‘Teasing makes him go all jelly, got it.’ Sapnap thought with a snicker, looking down at his friend.

“S- Sapnap… dohoHON’T- SAHAPNAP!” Tubbo barked out a laugh, trying to twist on his side away from the prodding fingers on the right side of his ribcage. “Nuh-uh, you aren’t going anywhere, mister!” Sapnap sniggered as he pushed the boy’s hips on the ground, drilling his thumbs into the bones in the process.

A loud shriek left Tubbo, failing to buck Sapnap off of him. He fell limp against the grass, knowing that he wasn’t gonna get out of the predicament anytime soon. Not that he exactly wanted to, though.

“Remember you can tell me to stop whenever you’d like me to, bud.” The demon’s face softened into a more reassuring look, slowing down his tickles. Tubbo nodded, opening his mouth to speak before being interrupted with another screech.

Sapnap’s fingers found the sides of his lower stomach, massaging his fingers into the soft skin. This seemed to be successful, Sapnap found.

“SAP-HEHEHEHAHA- F- FUHuhuck ohohoff!” He continued to squirm, stomping his hooves in the plush grass behind Sapnap. “D’awww, Tubbo!~ That wasn’t very nice, was it? Maybe I should remind you of my favorite tactic?” Sapnap raised an eyebrow, relishing in the immediate anticipatory high-pitched giggles that emitted from the smaller boy.

“Do you remember? I think you do, champ! I think you remember all the nibbles and raspberries I used to give to your cute lil’ tummy- and oh how bad they tickled!~ Are you excited? I think you areeee, I can hear your tail thumping on the grass!”

Note taken; Sapnap was still as evil as before.

“Y- Yohou’re so mehehean!” Tubbo whined, covering his bright red cheeks, his shirt riding up with his arms raising. “Uh oh, Tubbo… Look what I have here! A perfect snack right in front of me!~” The man cooed, dragging his dull claws over the ram’s belly before leaning down and blowing a big raspberry right beneath his belly button.

“SHIHIHIHIT! N- NOHOT THAHAT!” Tubbo shrieked, arching his back up. “Not this? Alright, your wish is my command, champ! Guess I have no choice but to do this instead…” He chuckled slowly before beginning to gently nibble on Tubbo’s lower belly, moving up the side to nibble near his waist.

Fuck Sapnap and his stupid stubble, and his even dumber fangs.

“SAAAAHAP- NONONONOHOHOHO!” Tubbo pleaded, weakly pushing at Sapnap’s head, but the damn thing didn’t budge even a centimeter. “No? Okay!~” He giggled, going back to plant another raspberry over the side of his belly.

Arching his back again, the ram dug his hooves in the grass to try to ease the sensations at least a little bit, but the ticklish stubble dragging around his tummy kept making him go limp. “F- FUHUCK YOHOU- Y- YOHOU’RE SO BAAAHAD!” Tubbo retaliated, yet again trying to twist away but his hips were only pushed back down onto the grass.

“I think you need a little manners lesson, don’tcha think, Tubso?~ N’awww, don’t pout at me, you know I’ll just have to do… this…” Sapnap huffed in a breath, Tubbo squealing in anticipation, but then silence.

Tubbo relaxed his muscles as the raspberry didn’t happen- never mind. It happened.

“FUHUHUCK- PLEEEHEHEHEASE!” Tubbo’s body went completely jelly, the tickling too much for him to fight back anymore. Sapnap looked up, a shit-eating grin on his face. “You were so bold a few seconds ago, what happened? Hmmm?~ Cat got your tongue, Tubbo? Let’s fix that.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around Tubbo's waist so he couldn't buck away from his attack.

Raspberry after raspberry, Tubbo knew he couldn’t handle it anymore. “STOHOHAHAHAP! E- ENOHOUGH!” His voice was squeaky and tickled-out, taking deep breaths as he laid down completely limp on the soft grass.

“You alright there, Tubso?”

“Mahahaybe…”

“Here, let me help.” Sapnap smiled, but it was softer this time- way different than the evil grins he was giving while tickling the life out of the poor boy. The demon laid the ram across his lap, gently carding his fingers through his plush hair.

“C- can yohou… keep gohoing? But- gehentle this t- tihime?” Tubbo stuttered out, Sapnap audibly cooing at the sweet boy. “Of course, it would be my pleasure- seeing how evil I was earlier.” He jested, earning an exaggerated noise of agreement from Tubbo.

He snickered, tracing his dull claws in random shapes over the boy’s belly, letting them graze up and down his sides and back down to circle around his hips. The affectionate light tickles were making the tickled-out boy sleepy, as he curled up in the warm demon’s lap and softly snored as sleep swept over him.

“Sleep well, bud. I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ve missed you, y’know that?”

#im proud of this one DKFJHSHKJFS #mcyt tickle #dsmp tickle #lee!tubbo #ler!sapnap #my writing

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faunusrights · 4 years

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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

She chose not to dwell on it.

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in.

[...]

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are.

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke.

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.”

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

#liveblog #rwby #offal hunt

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marvelmando · 5 years

Text

history {p. parker x reader}

suggested by @justbetomholland!

notes: hello, it’s currently 3 o’clock in the morning; i’m operating on a total of 8 hours out of the last 48, but everything’s fine! i’m fine! i’m bored! and i was graciously given the suggestion of numbers 28 and 6 from my dialogue prompt list just as i was contemplating forcing myself into a deep sleep under (at least) 10 mg of melatonin, but i decided hey! id rather write! and if anyone else is a writer, you know what i mean when i say when inspiration hits, you go along with it. so here i am, and here is this (probable) mess. i hope you enjoy x.

**also, why do you guys always ask for angsty prompts??? not that im complaining, but sometimes a girl just wants to write a fluff piece!

based on:

6. “You just got stabbed and you wanna know if I’m okay?!”

28. “I’m only good at three things: making ridiculous science puns, laughing at inappropriate times, and making some bomb-ass snickerdoodles. None of them will help me with this.”

from this prompt.

warning: if you couldn’t determine from one of the prompts, this will obviously contain some blood and a little gore.

Sometime around the seventh grade, you were introduced to Peter Parker. You didn’t remember much from the encounter, but you do remember the eruption of bubbles in your stomach like you’d just inhaled a can of soda. That feeling persisted for the solid part of the next three and a half years when you finally admitted to yourself you had a crush on him.

Of course, not long after that, you asked Peter on a date. (You never were really good at suppressing your emotions; once you realized your feelings for him, it was only a matter of time before you confronted him with them.)

Nearly three months later, and you and Peter were still going strong, and it hadn’t been an easy journey of friendship that led to the sticky-sweet romance of adolescence. Between Peter losing Ben and acquiring his powers, you were well-versed in the practice of supporting your best-friend through some of the most challenging parts of his young life.

Incidentally, you were the first to discover his secret second-life, after catching him experimenting with the creation of his web fluid, only weeks after he was bitten by the radioactive spider. You hadn’t seen him in three weeks, after taking a vacation with your family and being swamped by make-up work. You’d barged into his bedroom, troubling homework in hand, only to find a freshly-muscular Peter hunched over the complete disarray of chemistry equipment strewn about his desk.

He didn’t have many excuses for what he was doing, or why he’d gained thirty pounds of muscle in twenty-three days.

He didn’t talk to you for weeks after it happened, only finally opening up about it the night Ben died, when he was feeling angry and hurt and misguided. After that, you became his go-to about everything Spider-Man, even helping him create his first suit made of a sleeveless sweatshirt he found at Goodwill, and a baggy pair of your old blue sweatpants and matching sweater (that were, decidedly, not at all baggy on him).

You distinctly remember the first time he came to you after a particularly rough mugging, in which his chest was marred with deep gouges from a switchblade and he refused to go to the hospital to treat them.

“I can’t, Y/N, what the hell would I say?” Peter had wheezed as you ushered him to your bed, where you’d hastily thrown some towels down before assessing the wounds. “‘Sorry, I was trying to web up this criminal but he caught me by surprise when I realized I’d run out of web fluid’?” He’d hissed when you’d peeled back his bloody sweatshirt (thank God it was red, you remembered thinking). “‘Oh, and don’t worry if the bruise on my eye heals within ten minutes, I also happen to have enhanced regenerative’ - fuck!”

You’d pressed into his wound to stop the blood flow, but also to get him to stop talking. “Peter,” you had snapped, feeling overwhelmed and marginally light-headed by the sheer amount of blood pouring from the gashes. “I can’t do this! I’m - you - I can’t -”

He must’ve seen how white you’d gone, noticed how frightened you were when the words sounded strangled in your throat. “Y/N, there’s no one else.” Despite the obvious pain shining in his eyes, his voice was calm and steady, soothing your frazzled nerves. “You can do this; I trust you.”

You had narrowed your eyes at him, nerves turning into disbelief. “Pete, you don’t understand - I can’t. I would, but I - I can’t just... sew you up!” You said incredulously. “I’m only good at three things: making ridiculous science puns, laughing at inappropriate times, and making some bomb-ass snickerdoodles. None of them will help me with this.”

Peter’d just let out a strangled laugh. “You do make some wicked snickerdoodles.”

You smiled, forgetting yourself in the memory.

“Y/N?” Peter wheezed from where he lied down on your bed, clutching his abdomen. Your eyes snapped down to him, startling into frantic movement again as the anxiety seeped in again. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“You just got stabbed and you wanna know if I’m okay?!” You breathed out a nervous laugh, pressing the towel into the wound.

“It’s not that bad - shit.” The curse slipped as you poured an obscene amount of hydrogen peroxide where the blood had started to dry. Your eyes flicked up to his, amused and haughty. Examining the wound once more, you turned to retrieve the fully-stocked emergency kit you kept in your dresser at all times.

You wiped away the blood, pleased that the stab wound was shallow and had ceased bleeding. “I don’t know why you don’t just go to Mr. Stark, surely he has medics on his team that could fix you up ten times better than I could - and you wouldn’t have to say a word about how you got it.”

When you looked into his eyes, they were warm and smiling, despite the pain he was in. He pushed back the baby hairs framing your forehead with a gloved hand, the strands persistent in the way they always seemed to stick out straight from your head. He did that a lot, and it was one of your favorite things he did, the movement automatically soothing you as you instinctively leaned into his palm, warm even through his suit. You distantly worried if his hand was covered in blood, but you tended to get pretty messy whenever you had to patch him up, and it was nothing a shower couldn’t fix. You focused instead on the adoration shining in his chestnut eyes, dimmed by the darkened room but shining bright with love nonetheless.

“Why would I, when I’ve got you?” Peter said, his voice soft and mellow. You could he was beginning to lose awareness, and you pressed gently on the wound to rouse him.

“Uh, uh, I need you awake for the stitches, mister.” You admonished, grabbing the needle and medical thread you’d... borrowed from the hospital you volunteered at. (After nearly two years of Peter coming to you to get his battle wounds mended, you became increasingly invested in the medical field, and were planning on pursuing a medical degree.)

You replaced your soiled disposable gloves, sanitizing and threading the needle with a practiced hand. Your eyes traveled to the scar from that first time, noting with a critical eye how uneven the scar looked, as your hands shook terribly as you followed along to a YouTube video detailing how to stitch a wound.

“Yes, ma’am.” Peter’s voice was pained.

“You ready?” You asked, lowering the needle to the wound.

When he didn’t answer, you looked up at him. He had paled slightly, eyes wide and frantic, and you could tell his breathing had quickened. He’d never really gotten used to stitches, and you knew he was worse with deeper wounds.

Leaning forward, you pressed a solid kiss to Peter’s lips. He froze, still distracted by the pain and nerves, but almost immediately melted into the kiss, softening the press of his lips against yours. You pulled back slightly, and gently kissed his lower lip, moving to his cheek, pressing slow, soft kisses as you moved across his face.

Finally, you stopped with a peck to the tip of his slightly-crooked nose. Leaning back just enough to look at his entire face, you smiled fondly when you saw how relaxed he looked. He returned the smile, and you pressed one last lingering kiss to the center of his forehead, lips dampened and tasting slightly of salt from the sweat beading there. You wanted to cradle his cheek, but you knew better than to contaminate your gloves any further that they most likely were.

“I love you.” You told him, and even though it wasn’t the first time, Peter’s eyes simultaneously softened and brightened, just as strongly as they had when you did.

“I know,” he replied cheekily, his voice roughened. A grin broke out on your face, head shaking at the reference.

“Ready?” You poised the needle at the wound, waiting for him to nod.

He didn’t hesitate this time. “I trust you.”

With the familiar phrase, you set to work.

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benhardyisdaddy · 5 years

Text

What A Time - Part 7

MASTERLIST

(hello welcome to pt 7 sorry it took forever im on vacation w my niece so ive been so busy BUT i had free time today cuz im home alone and sick so im just writing a whole bunch i hope u all like it (Y/B/M = your birth month) and ily BYEEE)

Word Count: 2,161

You were confused. What the hell had just happened? It’s all you could think about. Max had left not long after the random people had left. Random? Were they random? They all looked too familiar, yet they were strangers. You close your eyes and lean your head against your pillow. It was the next day and that blonde haired man has officially overtaken your mind. You exhale as a soft knock at your door breaks you out of your thoughts in the early morning. Your head looks up fast as your heart beats loudly, hoping the blonde man would walk in. But he doesn’t. In walks your doctor as he smiles and slowly enters the room. He holds a chart in his hand and walks towards you, his eyes never leaving yours. He looks almost nervous, which makes you nervous. You attempt to sit up more straight as he stops in front of you. He clears his throat, continuing to smile.

“Hi, y/n,” he starts quietly. “I just want to go over some more stuff with you. Is that okay?” he asks, looking down at his chart quickly.

You nod your head and watch as he eyes the piece of paper and then looks back up to you.

“Alright, perfect. So, can you tell me when your birthday is again?” he asks.

You think for a moment and squint your eyes in the process. You open your mouth to speak, then close it. Then you open it once more.

“Y/B/M?” you ask staring at him, hoping it’s correct.

The doctor looks down at your chart and his eyes open slightly as a smile spreads across his face.

“Excellent! Y/B/M it is. Do you know by chance what day and year you were born?” he asks once more.

You shut your eyes in thought, but nothing comes to you. For some reason, Y/B/M screamed at you, but the day and year were still a mystery. You shake your head no and embarrassingly stare down at your hands. The doctor quickly shakes his head and smiles at you.

“Hey, that’s okay. It’ll come back.” he says, before continuing. “That’s why I’m here, Y/n.” he says.

You look up to him and shake your head slightly, not understanding. He slowly sits himself on the side of your bed and reaches into his front pocket. He pulls out a tiny flashlight and switches it on and off.

“I’m just gonna check your pupils and make sure they’re dilating properly, okay?” he asks, scooting closer.

“Okay.” you say back, slowly leaning forward. The doctor puts up a finger and places it beside the flashlight.

“Alright, now stare at my finger, not the light.”

You look over and don’t move a muscle. He takes the flashlight and shines it in your left eye. It feels bright and uncomfortable, but you don’t budge. He then shines it in your right eye, watches for a moment, then clicks off the flashlight. He shoves it back in his pocket and scoots away. You blink a few times adjusting your eyes and look to him. He’s writing something on his clipboard.

“So your eyes aren’t dilating like they should. It’s nothing to worry about, it’s normal when someone has a concussion of your sorts.You went through something very traumatic and your body is trying to cope with it. Just like it’s trying to cope with the memories of the accident.” he says slowly, watching you.

Once again, you didn’t understand.

“The memories?” you ask.

The doctor sits up and clears his throat once more.

“Concussions have a lot to do with swelling on the brain which, y/n, you have. It messes with memory. Head trauma is very serious, and although concussions cause memory loss, your body has the ability to block away any bad memory for you. And anything surrounding that bad memory. Look at it like your mind is guarding you from bad things and the wreck being that bad thing.”

You stare at him and it slowly starts making sense. Not knowing your birthday, not knowing those people in the room. You close your eyes and exhale.

“Are you saying I have memory loss?” you ask quietly.

The doctor watches as your eyes stay closed. He frowns and tenses his jaw. Sometimes he disliked this job very much.

“Yes.” he whispers. “You have memory loss. Not remembering your birthday was a very early and clear sign of it. And-”

“And those people in my room? The blonde haired man. I knew him. I knew all of them, didn't I?” you ask, almost feeling sick to your stomach.

The doctor just stares at you, not knowing what to say. He’s about to speak when suddenly there’s another knock at your door. Both of your heads turn to stare at it. He looks back to you and half smiles as he stands up and walks towards the door. When he opens it, you hear another person’s voice as they whisper. The doctor moves out of the way and in walks in the blonde man. He’s dressed very nice and has a box in one arm and a bouquet of sunflowers and roses in the other. He looks to you and smiles. You watch as his cheeks turn slightly pink. What’s he doing here?! You suddenly feel very self conscious. You bring your hand to your head and gently fix your hair.

“Hi.” he whispers, staring at you almost in amazement.

You stare back and quickly smile, eyes darting away. The doctor walks up to you, noticing your heart monitor speeding up.

“Y/n,” he says. “This is Roger. He was the man here yesterday. He just wants to talk to you. If you need anything, just press the call button and we’ll be here. And you,” he says turning to look at Roger, his eyes squinted. “If you do anything stupid, no more visitation.”

Roger nods fast as the doctor walks out of the room, shutting the door. Roger looks behind him and grabs a chair and slides it over to your side of the bed. He slowly sits down and lifts up the flowers.

“These are, uh. These are for you.” he says. You smile and reach your good arm out to grab them. You gently lift them to your nose and smell.

“Thank you. They’re beautiful.” you say, looking down at them.

“They’re your favorite.” he says, watching you closely. You turn your head to look at him. His blue eyes gleam as they stare into yours.

“The doctor told me everything.” he says. “About the concussion. About the memory loss. You don’t remember me. Us.” he says, referring to everyone else that was here. “We were dating for about six years, but you don’t remember that and that’s okay. But I brought some pictures for you to look at. Maybe so you don’t think I’m lying-” he says, quickly looking down and swallowing hard. “And maybe they’ll help. You know, to remember.”

You watch as he nervously stammers. You catch yourself half smirking as he fidgets with the large box on his lap. He opens it up and pulls out a few pictures.

“Oh see this one,” he starts. “This is when the two of us went to Paris. You wanted to see the Eiffel Tower so bad, so I took you.”

He hands you the photo and sure enough, it’s the two of you bundled up with your arms wrapped around each other. You both had the biggest smiles on your face. It was as if you were staring at someone else's life. You were in the picture, but you weren’t. You smile down at it and look back up. Roger hands you another photo.

“And this is with Mary and Freddie. The three of you were doing karaoke at Fred’s house. You love karaoke.”

You look at the picture and you and the blonde girl Mary had your legs wrapped around the man’s legs, as you hung onto him, laughing. You loved karaoke? Okay, that’s something new. You have terrible stage fright, this can’t be possible.

“You use to hate karaoke.” says Roger, almost as if he read your mind. You look to him quickly as he stares at the photo in your hand. “You got so scared singing in front of others, but for some reason when I was with you, it was as if you owned the room. That fear was gone.”

He looks up to you and you smile. Roger quickly pulls out another photo and hands it to you.

“This is one is probably my favorite.”

You look down and you’re in a band tee that says Queen as Roger’s arm is wrapped around you. He’s looking at the camera smiling as you’re staring up at him, with the most adoration look on your face. You looked so in love. You can tell why this was his favorite. You suddenly feel tears sting in your eyes. You weren’t sure why you were going to start crying, but something about this photo almost made you...sad?

“And this one,” he says handing you one more. “Is when you were at our concert with Mary. You were absolutely shit faced.” he says as he laughs, which causes you to laugh. He looks up to you almost shocked and smiles.

You look down at the photo and see yourself in another Queen tee shirt, beer in your hand. There’s people surrounding you and a stage behind you with people on it. Your arms are in the air and your eyes are squeezed close and your mouth is open wide, as if you were yelling. Your cheeks were rosy, indicating that you were, in fact, shit faced. You smile at the photo and then look back to Roger fast. You squint your eyes.

“’Our’ band?” you ask.

He stares at you for a moment and tenses his jaw.

“Yeah. The four of us guys have a band called Queen. We tour everywhere, which is why I have so many of these pictures. You went almost everywhere with us.”

You look back at the photo and notice the Queen shirt again. You focus even harder at the stage and suddenly spot the blonde man behind the drums and the guy named Freddie with the microphone to his mouth.

“You play drums.” you finally say.

Roger sits up straight and smiles.

“Yeah, I do. I’ve tried teaching you how to play. I actually have a photo of it,” he says as he takes out a bunch of photos.

He’s about to drop them all when you suddenly reach out and take a handful. Roger looks up and goes to stop you from looking, but it’s too late. You look down and the first photo you see is of yourself. You’re in nothing but black panties and a light fur coat, that’s barely covering your chest. Your eyes open wide at the sight of you looking at the camera seductively. You quickly look to another one and this time the fur coat is slipped off your shoulders and your breasts are slightly exposed. You gasp and look at one more. This time your eyes open wide. It’s a far away shot with you lying on your back. The fur coat is barely on as an arm is bent down towards you, a hand grabbing your neck. Your legs are spread apart as a man is shown being inside of you as you bite your lip. You flip the photo over quickly and look away, your cheeks heated. Your heart is racing as Roger quickly gathers the photos together.

“I’m so sorry.” he whispers. “You weren’t supposed to see those yet. I swear they were taken with your permission. I’m so sorry.” he says again as he places them back in the box. Just then, your heart rate monitor goes off and in comes a nurse and your doctor. He looks between you two as the nurse rushes to you.

“Alright, that’s enough for today. She needs rest.” he says, looking to Roger. He quickly nods and stands up fast. He looks back to you and nervously stares.

“I really am sorry.” he says. “Could I see you again tomorrow?” he asks, waiting anxiously for your answer. You think for a moment and lightly smile, looking away from him.

“Yes.” is all you say. He smiles back even wider and nods his head.

“Alright, see you tomorrow, y/n.” And with that, he’s gone.

The nurse checks your wiring and stitches and gives everyone the OK. You were fine, just flustered. Those pictures were genuine and authentic, no photo shop about them. That was you and that was him and you were together. You suddenly think about Max and lay your head back. This was so confusing. You remember Max perfectly, but not this guy? You want to remember him so badly.

Or do you?

Tag List: @har-rison-s @ramimalekrp-roleplayerpage @rogermeddowtaylor @bacardihardy @seven-seas-of-hi @fatbottomedcurls @rogers-rhapsody @rose-escobar @rogertayolr @perriwiinkle@mautand @peter-parkersbb @mothermercuryy @basics-andthesimplelife @caterinaborgia@discodeakyjazzyjoe @johnricharddeaconn @mautand @rogertayolr @bethany-cc @thewinchesterchronicles @iambuckyrogers @idontbelievethiss

#what a time #benhardyisdaddy #ben hardy #ben!roger x reader #ben hardy imagine #benhardy #benxreader #benhardyxreader #benhardyxy/n #angst #fic #series #part 7 #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #rogertaylor #roger taylor!ben hardy #roger taylor x reader

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for-ests · 5 years

Text

The Most Beautiful Sunset- Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 2,632 / warnings: nein

Hope you enjoy, random fluffy idea that popped into my head, I might write a second part if anyone likes it :-) (also tumblr is messing up the spacing im sorry)

✭♡✭♡✭♡✭

Y/N shuddered as she dipped her bare feet into the small lapping waves.

The ocean was chilly, yet she cherished the feeling. It had been so long since she had visited this place, one that was filled with nostalgia and bittersweet memories.

She tilted her nose up, inhaling the salty breeze as it ricocheted across the water. It gave off the a familiar peaceful scent that she loved so dearly. There was no reason for her to remain so worried.

It was calm for a moment. She could feel the ocean current pulling at her toes, the sand drawn away with it. The natural white noise was one she wished to hear every day when she opened her windows.

The wind whistled in her ears and seagulls chirped overhead, surveying the chance for a perfect dive. Y/N smiled, appreciating the seclusion of the east coast beach.

“Isn’t it beautiful baby?” The girl glanced down to the dog at the other end of the leash that was held tightly in her grip. The golden retriever’s tail started to wag at her soothing tone. The human and animal stood side by side, staring out to the horizon that stretched beyond view. The brief moment of tranquility was cherished by Y/N, because she knew it would not last long.

Because as soon as she stumbled an inch due to the sharp pebbles underneath her, Elly, her dog, tugged at the leash.

The dog whined loudly, dipping her nose in the water. Y/N could tell she wanted to swim badly. It had been months since they last came to their favorite spot. Against her own will of course.

Y/N’s mood shifted as soon as she thought about her parents. Her jaw clenched at the memories. So much had happened in the short amount of time that she had been at college, the girl could barely wrap her head around it. The past couple days had been a huge transition, information she had never expected to hear relayed back to her before she could settle back in for the summer break. Y/N’s parents were getting divorced because her mother had cheated on her father. And she didn’t know how to process it.

Truthfully, it made her feel sick. Everything had been normal just weeks ago. She wished it could have been like it was before. Where she could come home and see her parents together, happy and glad to see her. It hurt more than she could have ever thought. And she couldn't imagine how it hurt her father. Y/N knew he loved her mother with all his heart.

What a surprise to come back to this… a half empty house, with only a father to greet her. The house she had grown up in all throughout grade school was now up for sale. Her mother nowhere in sight.

Y/N did not want anything to change. The girl had grown up with both her parents... together. And now being a freshman in college, the transition would be awkward and lonely. She wished it happened when she was younger, when she was oblivious and unaware of the betrayal that surrounded her. Now, her family was broken. Side were taken even when it wasn't needed. And throughout it all, she remained the sole neutral party.

Y/N laughed. She didn't need two Christmases. She didn't need double the presents. She didn't need another dad, or more brothers and sisters...She needed her family. Whole again. Like it had always been.

The girl frowned, bending down to unhook the leash from Elly's collar. She came here to take her mind off the painful memories. Yet, it was all she could seem to think about. She cherished the solid two minutes of peace that met her with the beautiful sunset, one that never failed to take her breath away.

As soon as the collar dropped into the sand, Elly darted away, leaping into the waves and barking loudly. She yipped and yapped, seeming as if she wanted Y/N to join her.

The girl laughed, pulling a toy from her bag and tossing it as far as she could. Thank God Elly liked fetch, it calmed her down enough before bedtime. Especially when she had to fight against the waves.

"Who's a good girl? Y/N cooed, a grin spreading across her face as the wet dog ran back towards her, eager for another toss. The golden retriever dropped the toy back at her feet, tail soaked but still wagging.

But just as Y/N leaned down to grab it, Elly started to shake all the water off her. "No Elly!" The girl groaned, raising her hands up in defense even though she knew it was useless. She was already drenched, water droplets instantly soaking into her shirt.

Y/N sighed, feeling somewhat refreshed from the spray. It woke her up slightly. "You're an idiot." She said, wiping the water off her hands. Her dog jumped in reply, bending back down to nudge the toy. “Fine, it’s because I love you.” She scratched under Elly's chin.

Elly barked, begging for more playtime. Y/N shrugged in response. Knowing there was probably no one else on the secluded beach. Only a few people knew about it; mostly locals and neighbors. Plus it was nearing the end of summer, and many people wouldn't think about swimming in the ocean this time of year. Maine's water was rarely warm. But for a spunky golden retriever, it was the closest thing to heaven.

A hard gust of wind swirled around Y/N, causing her hair to blow across her face. "Ack.." She rolled her eyes, using one hand to brush the hair out of her mouth, and the other to scoop up Elly's toy and throw it back again. This time though, the girl was off balance. She accidentally threw the toy way too far to her right, just hitting the shore by a few feet.

The dog darted across the beach, kicking up sand in her path. Elly snatched the toy in her mouth, pausing before looking at her owner.

Elly’s head perked up, turning her head in the opposite direction. Y/N could tell by her stance that there was something nearby that only she could hear.

"Come here!" The girl called, trying to distract her rambunctious dog. She was only 2 years old and still new to the whole 'training' thing.

A bark echoed in the distance.

Y/N's heart dropped. "Elly..." She pleaded, knowing if the dog ran, there was a high chance it would take forever to get her back. The girl inched slowly to her, holding the leash out, ready to hook her as soon as she was close enough.

The. suddenly, a dog appeared across the coast, darting down so fast she had to blink a few times to realize it was closing in on them. A grey pitbull?

Elly bolted, ears perking up as the other dog yipped louder. Just Y/N’s luck. "Shit! Elly no!" The girl ran after her dog, sand kicking up behind the both of them.

"Tessa!" Y/N heard a voice float through the wind, almost making her stop in her tracks. As she jogged to catch up to the dogs, she peered across the beach and saw a man running as hard as he could.

She almost burst out laughing as she reached the animals, who were already sniffing each other's butts and becoming friends.

"Bad girl!" Y/N quipped, prying herself between the two dogs to attach Elly back on her leash. Right after her success, she was tackled with kisses from the pitbull apparently named Tessa.

"Oh hello!" She giggled, bending down on her knees from the dog's weight. Tessa licked her face so many times that Y/N lost count. The dog continued to jump wildly, threatening to tip the girl over each time she received another kiss to her face. "Stop stop stop!" The girl belly laughed, loving every second of the dog's affection.

Elly on the other hand, sat there and barked, leaning in every once in awhile to add licks of her own. Eventually, Y/N heard the stranger's feet hitting the ground as he caught up to his pet.

"Help..." Y/N managed to choke out during laughs, moving her head to the side, avoiding a lick on the lips from the pitbull.

"Tessa, darling!" He chuckled, grabbing his girl by the collar and pulling her off Y/N. "That's so rude of you!" His foreign accent was thick.

"I'm so very sorry." He apologized. "She's incredibly rambunctious."

"I-it's not a problem..." She spoke quickly, brushing the sand off her bottom and shoulders. "Your dog is so nice..." Y/N looked up at the stranger... her sentence trailing off as she met his deep brown eyes.

"I... um..." She stuttered, at loss for words. It was her first chance to get a good look at him and—damn. She could hardly breathe. He was undeniably handsome.

"Hi..." Y/N winced as soon as the greeting left her lips. She was making a fool of herself. The stranger looked around her age. He had somewhat curly brown hair, brown eyes, chiseled features, and very toned arms. She could see the outline of his muscles from underneath his shirt. The thought made her cheeks turn red.

The man was staring at her too, in just as much surprise it seemed. But fortunately for Y/N, he was able to recover from his shock.

He held out his hand. "I'm Tom, it's nice to meet you-?"

"Y/N." She blushed, grasping his hand firmly. He was so polite, and for some reason, he seemed familiar.

After a lingering stare, Tom bent down and slipped Tessa's collar back on. "She's a wild one." He laughed. "Always outsmarting me."

"She's a great kisser." Y/N teased, patting the top of her head. "Is Tessa her name?"

He nodded, not seeming to care that Y/N was so close to him. "How did you know?"

"I heard you yelling it from across the beach." She chuckled. "She's quick."

"Indeed." He smiled.

His smile literally made Y/N melt on the spot. It seemed so genuine, so kind. Who the hell was this guy? Her heart was racing by just one look.

Y/N managed to gather her pride after a moment of silence. "Speaking of which, I haven't seen you around before. Where're you from?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Is it because of my accent?"

"Indeed." She mimicked him, feeling more at ease by his nonchalant gestures. "I like it."

"I'm from Kingston." Tom clarified, standing back up straight. "I'm here visiting my grandmother. Mum wanted me to take a vacation." He simpered, gaze focusing on the ocean. He squinted as he stared into the horizon. "Maine reminds me a lot of home, just more rocky."

"What's London like?" Y/N asked.

"Completely different." A light gust of breeze blew his hair to the side. He reached up and ran a hand through it.

Noticing her stare, he turned with a smile. "But what about you? Are you a native?"

"To Maine?" Y/N tilted her head as Tom‘s eyes crinkled.

He nodded.

"Born and raised." She sighed. She really loved her home, but her heart longed to see the world.

And right now, she needed to get away more than ever.

"Why don't you seem happy about that?"

"I am." She smiled sadly. Tom could tell something was wrong, but decided it wasn't in his place to ask about it. They had just met after all.

"Do you come here often then?" He gestured to the secluded beach.

"Yeah. Not many people know about it, I'm surprised to find a tourist here. It’s never happened before."

"I'm glad I did." He chewed on the inside of his lip before turning to look at Y/N. "Or I wouldn't have met you."

She blushed a deep shade of red. "I don't know how you deal with strangers in London, but you can't stay stuff like that so casually!" The girl said with a flustered tone, gaze flickering to her feet. She felt like she was going to burst.

He started laughing with his hand on his stomach. She almost fainted right there on the spot. His laugh was so gentle and amusing. "I'm sorry darling. I didn't mean to embarrass you." His confidence was obvious.

"I-its okay." She exhaled, the way darling rolled off his tongue sounded like a sweet melody.

There was only a brief moment of silence, but it was comfortable. It felt right in so many ways, like she could get used to it forever.

Snapping back to reality, Y/N stumbled to the side as Elly pulled against her leash. Tessa also jumped up from the sand and started to bark.

The two laughed together. They could only keep their dogs calm for so long.

"Well." Tom’s alluring voice cut through the tension. "I can't keep the little lass in one place for too long."

Y/N smiled, knowing it was probably the last time she would see the handsome man. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, locking eyes with her once again. "Would you care to give me your number? I would love to see you again."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, of course!" The girl dug into her pocket and pulled out her smartphone. Tom gave her his phone and the two exchanged numbers.

Y/N handed his phone back to him, skin flaring with heat as their fingers brushed together.

She glanced at the contact he had added. "No way!" She giggled. "Holland? Your grandmother is Mary?"

"You know her?" Tom grinned.

"Yeah." Y/N reflected back on all the conversations she had with the older woman. They were neighbors, well, kind of. She lived a few blocks over, which wasn't far in the small town. "I met her on this very beach. No wonder she told you to come down."

"She did mention it was a certain pretty girl's favorite spot."

"No way." Y/N rolled her eyes. She felt her face flaring up again. Everything he said made her heart race, even if it wasn’t intended to.

Tom flashed the same heart-warming smile, seeming to be realizing the same thing.

"Well, Grandma is too old to show me around for more than an hour. Even though I adore her, I would love for a beautiful girl to show me around instead. We both would."

"It would be my pleasure." Y/N said, eyes sparkling in admiration. There was no way someone could be this smooth, handsome, and nice at the same time. He was literally sweeping her off her feet.

"I'll text you then." He held his gaze a little longer than appropriate, but she didn't mind.

"I hope to see you soon, Y/N." He bowed jokingly, turning on his heels and submitting to the constant tugging from his dog.

The girl watched them jog along the coast until they disappeared.

Elly whined, holding the toy in her mouth. She dropped it back at Y/N's feet.

"It's time to go home baby." She sighed, picking up the toy and shoving it into her purse.

Y/N walked away from the shore with a smile on her face.

The pink sky was comforting, yet it still didn't settle her nerves. Her head was spinning from the thought of him.

But a least, it was a distraction. The best one she could have ever hoped for.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfic

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amberstorm-splash · 6 years

Text

My Comfort Item is a Knife (A 2Dace fanfiction)

Want to read on Archive? Sure!: https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/36898563?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_182686899

Summary: Over the years, Ace has developed a coping mechanism in flicking his knife in and out of it's holder, sort of like a pen. He doesn't stop to think how this will effect 2D, a past victim of abuse. (I am very bad at summaries, sorry.)

Trigger warnings: Mentions of past abuse

Work Text:

Ace never went anywhere with out his trusty blade. Sort of like how he never went anywhere without his shades, but even his shades would be removed from his person every once and a while. No matter when, no matter how inappropriate of a place to bring a blade with you, he had it on him. Swimming pools, hospitals, airports; Somehow, he was always able to hide it somewhere on his person. Hell, he would even fall asleep with it in his pocket every so often.

If anyone asked him why he always had that blade with him, Ace would probably tell them it was either to 'keep up a character' or to 'make sure he's always safe', but the real reason was much more badass. Oh yes, the most badass reason of all. It had become like a comfort object to him.

Yeah, sure, maybe at first he really did only have the blade to keep up a tough facade and to stay safe, but now it was much more then that. When he was scared, (which he rarely is, mind you) he'd just think of the comforting weight in his pocket, one consistency in his life, and feel braver. When he was anxious, he'd take the blade out and flick it in and out of it's holder, sort of like how some people flick a pen cap.

That specific habit would get him in a lot of trouble quite a lot. He would often get his blade out with little thought of the people around him and the place he was in. For example, he once was at a preschool, for no reason what so ever. (Well, it was actually to pick up Snake's younger cousin, but he never tells anyone why when re-telling the story to add to the comedy. Unfortunatley, while it would probably be hillariuse if I chose not to disclose the reason while writing, I have choosen to in a desperate attempt to be taken seriously, even though I pepper jokes in everwhere else in this story.) While he was at this preschool, he became anxiouse for one reason or another and absent mindedly flicked out his blade.

To say the least, a little girl screamed, a parent slapped him, one child tried to steal his knife, and he was told he was never allowed to go back to the preschool ever again. While that was most likely technically the worse event to happen to him because of his blade flicking habit, he definently felt much worse for what he accidently did one day;

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ace had been part of the Gorillaz band for only two months now, but somehow he had become fairly emotionaly attached to all 3 other members of the band already. If he had to pick a favorite band mate, it would must likely be 2D. The man was odd, to say the least, and even a bit unstable, but he was also kind hearted, talented, and hillariouse, even if sometimes Ace was unsure if he was meaning to be or not.

Currently, Ace was watching a movie with said man; One of the horror flicks 2D seemed to greatly enjoy. Ace was usally fine during horror movies, he knew they were fake so he didn't find them that scary. No, he wasn't scared, just... Anxiouse. Extremley anxiouse.

In this specific horror movie, their were many moments of intense, seemingly stretching forever silences. They would come right before crappy jumpscares, and happened enough in the movie for Ace to not get surprised by them. Yet, being in complete quite for such long periods of time, with nothing to look at other then a scene on a screen, which was usally of a dark corridor with nothing interesting to look at, his eyes wandered.

As his eyes roamed around the room, he tried desperatley to focus them on to something, but everything seemed too akward to. His first thought was to look at or near 2D, but something about the man made him hard to look at without getting extremley nervouse... For some reason.

After that incident, Ace tried more frantically to find anything else to look at. He didn't know why it was so hard to survive just one scene in a movie, but it bloody was. Without really noticing, he got his knife out by years of muscle memory and habit, and flicked it open.

Thump! Ace looked over quickly to see 2D had fallen off the couch onto the ground, panic written all over his face. Had something jumped out in the movie while Ace wasn't watching? He looked to the scene to see it was still in the dark hallway, only for a monster to pop out a few seconds later. No, guess it must have been something else. Ace subcontiously squeezed his knife in concentration, and that's when it hit him.

He speedily sheafed the knife into it's holder, putting it just as quickly into his pocket before kneeling on the ground next to 2D. "Sorry, 2D! I- I didn't realize that would scare you, it's just a habit of mine." Ace quickly tried to explain himself, helping the other man to his feet again as he did so.

"S'alrigh'. I'm jus' a bit jumpy 'cause of the movie is all." Despite his words, 2D was visibly shaking and his eyes were darting around as if someone was going to attack him at any second. Besides, Ace had watched a few many horror movies with 2D, and he had learned by now that the blue haired man didn't get easily scared by them, even when Noodle would make sudden loud noises from somewhere in the house from doing... Whatever it was Noodle did in her free time.

Ace tried his best to look sturn. "That's a lie." And just like that, as 2D gave an exasperated frown, Ace completley forgot about looking seriouse. "Are... You alright? Did something happen, with a, er... Blade, in your life? Like, a bad past experience with a blade?"

He knew he worded it weirdly, knew it was stupid sounding, and he knew 2D would most likely laugh. Then, his cheeks would go red and he would try to hide it by turning his head away. But, he was quite suprised when 2D didn't laugh, and instead just looked mildly grieved, staring almost in a reminesent way at the wall.

"Yeh... You could say that. Though, tha's quite a weird way of wordin' it." 2D gave a not so toothy, weak smile to the slightly shorter man before sitting back down on the couch. Ace followed suit, possibly a bit to quickly. 2D flinched again, followed by a spew of apologies from Ace. 2D simply shrugged in his general direction before continuing on with what he was saying. "Y'know who Murdoc is, righ'?"

Ace gave a slow nod, suddenly feeling like he knew the general direction this story was heading. "Yeah, I knew him." 2D looked surprised, and Ace realized he had probably meant had he heard about him on tv or something. "Well, I used to know him. It's... Complicated," And for once, Ace told the truth about his past friendship with the other green man. Though, that was probably going to be the last thing he told 2D about that relationship. He didn't like to remineces.

"Yeah, my relationship wif 'im was also... Complicated." 2D seemed conflicted for a second, as if in the middle of mental war between two ideas. Ace wasn't sure if one side had one or not when the other man began to speak again. "He was 'orrible to me. Always screamin' and frowin' shoes at me. I tried ta wait it out, tried ta make him a better person, and summtimes he did seem like 'e was gettin' better. But, when 'e left, I realized I shouldn' 'ave to deal wif that." He paused, looking up to the celieng with a semi-determined expression.

"I fink I'm doin' a lot better wifout 'im. I dunno though, 'e always said I was a useless idiot. I'm not sure if I should believe that or not, now..." The courageous look melted off his face like butter on depressed mashed potatoes. Ace felt a shiver run down his spine. So, Murdoc hadn't gotten better. If anything, it seemed like he'd gotten worse. He wanted to know more of the details, to be able to see the full picture of Murdoc's abusive nature, but he didn't want to force the blue haired man to reflect any more. Some things were best left forgotten, at least until your stable enough to look back at them properly.

Ace looked akwardly to the side of the room, then to the floor, then to the clock... Soon, his eyes were wandering again. He didn't know what to say to reasure 2D, and he was becoming rather anxiouse. His hand reached into his pocket, and... No. He snapped himself out of it. Right, 2D will get scared. If making sure not to trigger trauma filled memories from the tortured man meant getting rid of a bad habit, even if that habit calmed him down sometimes, so be it. He didn't want to see the sweet singer who had so eagerly became his friend suffer anymore for something that wasn't his fault.

Instead, Ace decided to talk to 2D. Any words were better then this deafining silence that had seemed to trap the two men, even if Ace had no clue what to say and he seemed physically incapable of speaking. "You're not useless 2D. You're part of a hit band and you've got an amazing voice." He knew their was more to 2D then that; Their were so many great characteristic the man possesed, he didn't know where to start. But naming any other things he liked about the man other then his musical talent seemed like it would come off awkwardly.

2D simply frowned at the remarks, heighting Ace's anxiety even more. "Tha's wot Murdoc would say, too. He batteled 'is insults of everyfing else 'bout me with compliments on my singin' to trick me inta trustin' 'im." Oh shit, Ace messed up. Guess he now had to admit all the other things he liked about 2D, even if it made him feel embarresed.

Ace put on a determined facade, and grasped the othe man's hand. "Ah, but there's more though! You're really kind, your hair is nice, you actually care about people, and somehow you have the ability to make someone both calmed and nervouse by your presence at the same time." He realized he had probably admitted to many things, and shut himself swiftly up, and in the process let go of 2D's hand.

The blue haired man raised an eyebrow in a mix of concern and s̶u̶g̶g̶e̶s̶t̶i̶v̶e̶n̶e̶s̶s̶ curiousity. He spoke up timidly. "Ace... Why do I make yew nervouse?" Ace paused. Shit, shit, shit, he figured me out. But what had 2D figured out about him? The more Ace thought about, the more confused and anxiouse he got. Surely 2D wanted an answer, but... When he looked into the man's eyes- Wait nevermind- When he looked into the man's heart all he saw was worry and care.

Ace searched to see if he could find any other emotions hidden in the labirenth of the mind of 2D. Their were lots of little hints, but no conclusive answers, at least not in Ace's eyes. A slight blush painting the other man's pale cheeks slightly pink, a single bead of sweat runing down his forehead, and eyebrows tilted in a manner of self doubt all seemed to give away some lokced away emotions.Though Ace didnt understand any of these things, he still decided he needed to speak. "This band, everyone in it, and you... You're all so kind. I don't want to mess up and lose that."

"We wouldn' kick yew out for no good reason, Ace." 2D stated suddenly. He had a determined look fixed onto his face, gaze intensly set on the carpeting near his feet. When Ace didn't reply, his gaze softened and he looked over to the shorter man. "I fink everyone 'ere cares about yew... I care about you, Ace." Again, the light pink hue appeared on his cheeks, and he quickly looked away from the green man again.

Ace sputtered for a second, before quickly regaining his cool. "Aww, do you have a crush on me, 2D?" He made sure his tone of voice was as sarcastic and mocking as possible, to make sure 2D defienentley knew he was joking. There was completley no other intent behind his words other then to make 2D laugh. Totally.

Unfortunately, Ace had caught 2D at a point where he was just zoned out enough to tell the truth. "Yeah..." Ace paused. There was no humor in 2D's voice, only warmth and honesty. After a few seconds of silence, 2D seemed to slowly realize what he said, and did a quick backtrack. "I mean- Yeah, ha ha, tha's a funny joke, Ace." Ace stared at the man. If he was lying, he was really bad at it. It was sort of cute, he had to admit. Now he was almost certain of how 2D felt for him, but, he still wasn't sure about how he felt for the other man.

Yeah, Ace definentley cared about 2D deeply, but he was yet to be able to pinpoint if those feelings were romantic or platonic. But, as 2D said those words, his cheeks went bright red in a way he knew could only mean one thing. He made up his mind and scooted a little closer to 2D, and reached for the other man's hand. He smiled slightly as he felt the man's long fingers curl around his own mishapen ones. "Can I kiss you?" Ace didn't even think to stop the words coming out of his mouth. It felt natural.

2D hesitated, a look of anxiety sweeping over his face. He attempted to hide it, but Ace was able to catch it before he could. "We don't have to kiss, obviously. It's up to you if we do or don't. Im fine with either." He flashed a fanged grin for good measure. 2D seemed a bit scared of the thought of kissing him, and from what he had gathered from what the bluenette had told him about what Murdoc had done to him, it was a miracle 2D trusted anyone, so Ace wasn't upset 2D probably wouldn't want to kiss him right away. Hell, even if there was no Murdoc, Ace still wouldn't want to pressure someone to kiss him, espically not someone as wonderful as 2D.

The weary expression on 2D's face lasted for only a second more or two before a small smile erased it, and hot damn. (Let me cut in here for a second, as the author and a fellow lover of 2D's smile. I'm not going to even narrate to you what Ace thinks of 2D's smile, because if you have seen this man smile, you will already understand perfectly clear how it can bring world peace. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.) "Will a hug do, instead?" 2D streched out his arms in a shy inventation, and no way was Ace missing this oppurtuntiy.

Ace carefully wrapped his arms around the other man's waist, placing his head in the crook of his skinny neck. An even cuter smile melted on to 2D's face as he wrapped his arms around Ace's upper back, as if trying to protect him and this moment. They stayed like this for a while, with 2D smiling down with melancholy at Ace, and Ace listening closely to the soft heartbeat of the taller man.

Ace felt the world drift away. All that mattered right then was 2D's heartbeat and warm embrace. He was so enraptured by 2D's heartbeat, he barely was able to hear the man when he started talking. "I've never 'ad summfink like this before, y'know." Ace pulled away a bit from 2D to be able to see his face while he talked, making sure to keep his hands on the man's hips so he knew Ace wasn't trying to stop the hugging.

2D coughed weakly before continuing. "I've 'ad relationships before where the other person claimed to love me, bu' never like this. Any hugs were only a means to an ends. Usally, the people would jus' kiss me an' try ta get in my pants, or in a specific situation, jus' abuse me..." 2D gulped, fighting back tears as he bit his lower lip. Was he talking about... No, it didn't matter right now to Ace. All that mattered to him right now was reasuring 2D.

Ace reached a hand up to cup 2D's cheek, fingers tentatively gliding near the other man's face, wanting permission before touching him. When the man nooded his head, Ace held his face as lightly as possible, as to not upset the man. "You deserve to be hugged, 2D. To be hugged for an hour with no ill or sexual intent in mind, but instead only because that person cares and loves you and feels for you. I feel for you, Staurt."

Those words were it. Big fat tears escaped 2D's now white eyes and fell down his face. This time, it was Ace who uponed his arms for 2D, and the sobbing man was more then happy to dive into them. Almost desperately, he clinged to the other man, all while Ace hugged back, glad he could help comfort the upset man. They stayed like this for a while, even after 2D calmed his breathing and his tears dried.

Eventually though, 2D pulled back, much more calm then he was before. Still, despite being mostly calm, he seemed to still be a little worried and his hands were shaking, so Ace held his hands,and almoat immediately 2D brightened. "Fank you," He said, before placing a soft kiss to Ace's cheek.

Ace was stunned silent for quite a while, face going red despite himself. 2D frowned. "Sorry. I didn' mean ta upset yew"

The once green, but now red faced man simply shook his head, a wild grin plastered seemingly permenantley onto his face. "Nah, you're fine. It was preety sweet, actually." Ace stood up before giving an akward wink to 2D, but since 2D was also the most akward man alive, he found it actually quite charming.

2D stood up too, not wanting to be left alone on the couch to just sit there. "Well, I guess I should 'ead to bed. Goodnigh', Ace," His words were filled with warmth and sincerity. Ace chuckled.

"See you tomorrow, Staurt." Ace gave a small wave, before turning to walk away to his room. He couldn't wait to see 2D again, yet he was nervouse, too. 2D was in a bad mindspace right now, but he wanted to help him through it. And whatever happened, Ace wanted to show 2D he deserved someone better then Murdoc Niccals.

#2dace #2d pot #2d phase 5 #2d gorillaz #2d #staurt pot #ace couplar #gorillaz #the now now #tw: mentions of abuse

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

Me: so you're telling me were held hostage by an unconstitutional document that Bill Clinton and George Bush (dead Sr) wrote??

Like 5x i said this.

So he gets sarcastic at me because he knows I'm like crazy upset and about to cry and blow up the planet.

William: yes babe it's just about the unconstitutional document and not about the thousands of lives in danger because of what George Bush Sr did.

Me: Well, fine then

William: and the fact that what he did to interfere made the missle not work

Me: how?

William: IDK it seems he confused you when you made it in 2008

Me: was he there in my face?

William: yeah baby he was there. He made you erase some shit and you were gonna just add it back in but it was in the computer

Me: no. I cut it out and pasted it in another document!! I'd never not keep a back up

William: they didn't say that

Me: yeah well i put it in an untitled document titled trash or delete or something

William: did you delete it?

Me: probably because it said delete as the title...?

William: shit, you make me laugh. You see this? Can you retrieve it off the laptop?

Me: but it's in it's own document because I'll do what he said but ill do my own way. So I'll retyped what he told me to delete at first... Like instead of copy and paste but from memory. Then i had 2 copies. I had a back up copy of the original. Then i had a copy of,what he said for me to,add in and then i had to splice it together

Jesse: that was my job. I have it in my computer

Matt laughs: oh you two i was about to miss Christmas!

Me: shit yall know me man when im pissed and some psycho is telling me shit and I'm,scared im gonna get myself 3 ways and his one.

I start getting anxiety cause Jesse's all I got so many documents and none say untitled...

Then Jesse jumps up and does muscle man poses.

And i smile. "You find it?!"

Me: Oh yeah i had a mess because he was all about changing gears and shit and i got scared and so I had like 4 documents all crazy so i took off to the bathroom with the laptop. And I was all about taking a huge shit and having the poops bad and having to take a shower because i had poop down my leg and taking my laptop because it was my personal device and they turned off the internet.

Lucas: yeah i was getting really pissed off about it because me and the kids were watching a bootleg movie on the internet. So that's what happened. You have the copy or she has the copy, the originals hidden somewhere. And then we all went in the bathroom in the back door to check on her and then we stood guard outside the bathroom door saying she may had been poisoned so she could finish and she sat on the floor next to the tub in the bathroom.

Me: exactly

Lucas: holy fucking shit.

Jesse laughs: i had her load it on a flash drive and i hid it in my car on the drive shaft!! Oh man we are too good!!

Me: yes.

Lucas: thats why they broke her car all up by the tail pipe trying to find the rest of the hidden stuff! Ooops and sorry.

Me: i don't hide anything anymore, I just tell everyone.

Abu: yeah i do think that's safer. That way we just have to protect you which we already do.

Me: which also means.. I know nothing

Jesse & Matt laugh

Matt: dude!! I thought i was gonna miss Christmas!!

Me: yeah i know. That shit don't wait for anyone.

Uncle Donald: you do good work. Its right here all and perfect.

Me: yeah. I took it all out then i put it all back in and kept copies of the one i added back in and then a copy of just what i took out. And then the George Bush Sr Copy.

William: well GW knew what his dad was saying so we been doing what he knew would defeat him

Me: that's cool. Thanks GW. I remember it was them two and the qE2

GW: and you kept calling my dad her husband

Me: like they wasn't fucking.

GW: sarcasm! You're fluent! We were talking in sarcasm in front of them and they're so dumb they never caught on!!

Me: it was easy. It didn't make feel like i was lying and i didn't get anxiety. You'd be all opening and closing your mouth like a fish to argue with them and I'd have my jaw fall open like i was catching flies then we would eyeball each other and pretend to agree. I wouldn't talk to them tho, but i wrote it.

GW: the queen talks real big but she ain't nothing

Me: no she isn't. shes dead and so is your father.

***Because i was "blackmailing" the queen. She called the president which was then GW but then he didn't care so she called his dad. So some international mumbo jumbo or otherwise breach of conduct ending his life thus ending mine bla bla so that's why I edited it. Because you know no one has constitutional rights when there's money that states otherwise. But i kept mine. They just didn't know. With the help of friends of mine, the constitution, kidnapped human traffic victims and friends of yours.

0 notes

edrecoveryprobs · 7 years

Text

RE: Anons (finally!!) 1-8

In this post:

#2: How to handle surgery-related diets

#4: our fave recovery blogs

#5: dealing with bullying about vitiligo

#8: Recovering through the transition to college + how to challenge romanticizing ED thoughts

[CW behavior mention]

1. hi, sorry to bother you but I'm nervous I might have an eating disorder? I've been hospitalized for malnutrition in the past, but I just wasn't eating enough. the behaviors now are like binge purge restrict so on so on. I've been eating about [x] calories a day now because I want to lose weight without binging/ purging. should i tell someone about this, or is this normal?

FAQ #3 but yes definitely tell someone who can help!

2. I have to have a endoscopy/colonoscopy in a few weeks, and the prep for it has me completely on edge. In order to have the procedure done, I have to eat a restricted diet for a week, not eat for [x amount of time], and then take a super powerful laxative. My doctor also recommended I go on a weight loss diet, even though I'm still at a healthy BMI. After being recovered for several years, I've been struggling with a relapse, and I'm afraid that this will push me over the edge. Any tips on how to deal?

Sorry this is so late! Here’s advice for anyone else in your situation.

First, tell your doctor! Ask which elements of this are most important, and which can be worked around. Your ED is a complicating condition, so they should really know about it -- they’re treating YOU, not just your colon.

Second, give your laxatives to someone you trust, preferably someone who lives with you. If you can, enlist their support with mealtimes as well. If you get really sad at the end of the meal bc you can feel yourself falling back into that old place, that’s okay. Have them remind you that this is temporary, and that food is not as black-and-white as your ED wants it to be. Cede responsibility for figuring out your intake to this trusted person. Also -- make sure no one lets you know your weight at any point! Perhaps they can tell you when you’re back at your normal weight but that’s it!! The less you can obsessively track, the better.

Third, get into therapy NOW. Once this diet is over and everything gets quiet is when the ED stuff really starts to hit. I find that usually my recovery phase is ½ as long as my restrictive phase if I’m in therapy, and 2x as long if I’m not.

Fourth, acknowledge that this is unusually difficult and that struggling with a difficult thing doesn’t negate all the work you’ve been doing for years. You’ve built a solid foundation that has a good chance of keeping you stable through this rough time, and even if that starts to crack you have those same foundation-building skills to get it back to good.

I hope things went well for you <3

3. your blog always makes me feel valid and safe. thank you.

You’re so welcome! I’m glad it helps <3

4. Hey!! Do you know of any other positive recovery blogs? Im too scared to look in the tags bc they're full of pro ana things :( I love your blog, thank you!!! ❤❤

Fyoured was my fave, idk if they’re still active though! There’s also scienceofeds but that’s mostly summarizing current medical literature on it. Edreocoverystarfish and clinicallydepressedpug are also great! You can also check out our reblog tag

5. I've been suffering from vitiligo practically my whole life and it's something that affects me both psychically and emotionally. My brother often makes fun of me because of it, his favourite name for me is ''Michael Jackson"

That’s so shitty of him. If it helps, siblings tend to be rather shitty as they’re growing up, because it usually takes like 15-20 years to learn the basic emotional skills it takes to really be there for someone you love. Some people (especially masculine-identified people because of the social penalties associated) take longer to learn or never do at all. That’s not your fault.

For what it’s worth, siblings tend to make fun of whatever your biggest insecurities are, because humans learn how to affect others’ emotions before they learn how to affect them positively. Mine was acne for a while, especially since I struggle with dermatillomania (skin-picking) -- my siblings would wait for a Papa John’s commercial of a pepperoni pizza, point to it, and say “hey look, it’s Selena! HA HA HA!!”. My sister was really insecure about her hair being parted exactly down the middle, so my other sister and I would make fun of her for that. What I mean to say is, it’s not about the vitiligo. It’s about your brother not having learned yet how to NOT be a rude little shit.

Also, there’s no absolute that different colored patches of skin are ugly or bad. Calico cats are so cute! Freckles are adorable! Winnie Harlow is so talented! Find reminders in your life and/or online that different isn’t bad, and that this difference can be jaw-droppingly gorgeous or heart-breakingly adorable or lovably cute. It’s all about how you wear it.

And finally, know that love is always a choice -- including self-love. Rather, it is a combination of tons of small choices. Am I treating myself with love? Do I talk to myself lovingly, the way I would talk to a friend who was in my situation? Do I appreciate what my skin does for me, pigment or no pigment? Am I cultivating a life full of things and people that validate that love? It’s hard at first, it always is, but once you start it becomes a really awesome habit. Here is a great place to start (adjust pronouns as appropriate).

Sending you lots of love <3

[CW poop mention]

6. Hi, this incredibly embarrassing, but I recently experienced some personal trauma and so I am having problems with eating... Mostly restrictive and the inability to swallow some foods. However, I am having some digestive problems, mostly issues with skid marks. I was wondering if this is common and if there is a remedy for it... This is the first time I have experienced something like this. Sorry.

First, I really honestly don’t think anyone goes through their life without ever getting skid marks lol so you’re not a freak at all. I get them from time to time and I don’t really have digestive problems. Usually it just means I need to eat more fiber or adjust the balance of my diet. Also, this might sound weird, but anal kegels might help! The anal ring is all muscles, after all, and if restricting is a problem then all muscles have probably atrophied a little bit, including those. And finally, it might just be bad toilet paper. There’s lots of kinds that are practically useless and turn into a pulpy mess instead of doing their damn job. If you’re at home, consider getting stronger toilet paper (2-ply etc) or carrying baby wipes in a purse or backpack. Black underwear can also help with the insecurity aspect.

7. I love your blog so much! It helps knowing what other people are going through while making it a little humorous. Stay awesome!!

:D will do!

[CW romanticizing relapse, negative body image] 8. I have been battling with my ed for [x amount of time] now. In [y]th grade I got so tiny, I felt so pretty. I had never been skinny until then. I gained a lot of weight from being on so many medications, and now I am at an average weight but I am so unhappy with my body. I still struggle with purging and skipping meals. I start college this fall and I am terrified that I am going to let ana control me since no one will notice. I just want to feel beautiful and I know I wont until I'm tiny…

Something I’ve been going through recently is trying to lovingly remind myself when these thoughts pop up: I’m not believing this stuff because it’s true, I believe it because I’m literally crazy. It’s somewhat counterintuitive, but those beliefs can really take ahold of you if you take them seriously. But it’s just a symptom of the mental illness you know you already have. It’s like if you were prone to visual or audial hallucinations -- they feel real. They look real. They sound real. Of course you’d believe there are lions chasing you right now, because all of the senses you usually trust are indicating that that’s true. But also, if you can use the knowledge you have to try to see past them, you can actually interact much better with your environment.

Facts: you feel unhappy with your body. You still struggle with disordered behaviors. You start college this fall. College represents a big challenge to your ability to keep ana under control.

Beliefs: I can’t feel good unless I am thin. I can’t help but do what my ED says. I must keep this all a secret. I can’t get any help.

In the past 5 years, there have been times you’ve felt happy. Even when you weren’t thin. State memory means it’s hard to think of times you’ve felt differently, but it’s just a fact about human brains that we can’t feel one feeling for very long without switching it up.

Also, I guarantee you that you weren’t happy then. It’s so easy to romanticize thinness -- we see thinness romanticized literally ad nauseam -- but it’s such an empty feeling to be stuck in your ED. It’s so hopeless. It feels so crappy to walk into a restaurant with your friends, to see them all laughing and having fun when all you can think about is how terrifying it is to order food and how much you want to run away. When I really think about how awful each moment is with an ED, how I’m constantly either freaking out about eating or dreading the next time I’ll have to eat, how I had to numb myself constantly because reality felt so bleak.... Thin just isn’t worth it.

And let’s be clear: thin isn’t pretty. It’s just thin. Thin people CAN be pretty, but so can people of size, and so can very muscular people, and so can people whose body shape is more average. And eating disorders will make you thin at the expense of everything your body needs to maintain itself. It’s like insisting that houses are only thin if they have columns out front, so you hack off the front door, peel off the siding, pry up all the furniture, and stack up this pile of garbage to make some columns. You’re better off with a column-less but functioning house than one full of holes and empty inside.

Before you get to college, look up the mental health resources. Sign up for counseling through your school ASAP!!! Counseling tends to fill up as midterms approach, so this way you’ll be covered in case things go downhill later. Also, TELL people you trust. This you must do even if everything in you screams not to, because everything in you will scream not to, because your ED brain is actually trying to kill you. The more trusted people you tell, the less you have to fight it on your own, and the more resources you have to fight it. ALSO, see if there is an ED support group or a body positivity group on campus. Being around people who can gently call out disordered thoughts is a huge relief! And finally, explore other things that make you feel beautiful. Some people like makeup, and seeing how much of appearance is just illusion. Some feel beautiful when they know that they are strong and agile. Experiment with your clothing. Cut or dye your hair. Now is the time to test out different styles, and those are so much more fun to work on than calorie counting.

Lastly, you have more to do than be tiny. Mice are tiny. 5 cent candies are tiny. Pinky toe nails are tiny. What can you do that’s new? That helps you learn? That’s helpful? That’s exciting? Ana ignores all of that because of an obsession with BEING one thing. But ana doesn’t know shit about all the weird, cool, funny, wild stuff you can do. Show her what she’s missing.

Best of luck to you, and if you find yourself struggling in college don’t be afraid to message us back. We’re here for you throughout your recovery process <3

#surgery #laxatives #recovery and college #vitiligo #fanmail #skid marks #anonymous #ask

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