#this took me like four days lol I kept doing such a deep dive on the embroidery symbolism of Palestinians and it’s so beautiful holy shit

[wigglebox]

“From the river to the sea, I am alive” 🇵🇸

#illustration #Gaza #free Palestine #digital art #wiggleart #I was going to explain all the symbolism but it’s very long winded so #this took me like four days lol I kept doing such a deep dive on the embroidery symbolism of Palestinians and it’s so beautiful holy shit

[peachsayshi]

Chapter 11 - Friends

Tags: Friends with Benefits, Angst, Fluff

Summary: You convince Gojo to make up with your best friend and memories from the past come up. 

A/N: A wild ex-boyfriend appears! I am finally introducing the character and getting into some backstory. I got some smutty chapters coming up, which I am excited to share because I do love writing sexy Gojo X comments are always appreciated! 

- - - 

( Three Years Ago)

You cleared the plates in front of you as you made your way back to your kitchen. You packed the meal that you had taken the time to meticulously prepare, including the expensive steaks you bought this morning and the vegetables that you hand picked at the farmer’s market. As you opened the fridge to put away the items, you saw the row of vanilla cupcakes placed neatly on a pan, your shaky handwriting spread across each one that read “ Five Years ” with red hearts decorated on the extras. Suddenly, it all seemed silly how you took the time to prepare a surprise anniversary dinner for your boyfriend. You’ve both been together for so long but you still insisted on making every occasion special.

After you tidied up your dining table, you picked up the wine glass you have been nursing for the last hour and made your way over to your bedroom, where you sat on the chair next to your vanity. You removed the earrings that your boyfriend had bought you for your birthday, your favorite pair because they matched beautifully against your skin, and safely tucked them away in your jewelry box. You were disappointed that you made such a big deal out of tonight, feeling like a sentimental fool as you took a sip of your drink. Haru has been so preoccupied with work lately and the pressure of being in a highly competitive field was getting to him. Of course with the way things have been he wouldn’t remember that tonight was your anniversary dinner. You were trying to be mature about it but you couldn’t ignore that you were hurt. You glanced at your phone, reading 10:45 on the clock before finally giving up on the hope that he would show up.

You removed the dress you were wearing, a bold shade of orange that accentuated your body in all the right places - a dress that he bought you while you both went on a summer trip to Okinawa a few years ago. You changed into something a little more comfortable, throwing on a tank top and some loose lounge pants instead.

You heard your phone ping, a message popping up on the screen from Gojo.

Gojo : How did the dinner go?

You sighed to yourself, before plopping down onto your mattress. You tapped away at the keyboard, erasing each message a few times as you were unsure whether you wanted to vent or give him a brief explanation.

You : It didn’t…I think he’s still at work :(

Gojo : That sucks :\ Well, if you have any leftover cupcakes, I will gladly take them off your hands.

You: Nice try, idiot.

Gojo: I didn’t hear you say I couldn’t have any :)

When you didn’t respond to his message, Gojo followed up with another text that read:

Gojo: You okay?

You: I’m fine, I was just looking forward to tonight. I’ll get over myself. Tell me about your night, you can keep me preoccupied from my disappointment lol

Gojo merely responded with some eye emojis, a cheeky indication as to what he has been up to this evening.

You: At least one of us got some action...what’s her name?

Gojo: No idea, I was too distracted by her legs to care.  

You merely rolled your eyes at his comment.

You: It doesn’t take much to get you going, does it?

Gojo: I’m a simple guy, really…

You: …

Gojo: …

You: In WHAT universe?!

Gojo : Pshh, so mean to me all the time :(

You: With reason :)

You smiled when you sent that last text, grateful that Gojo came in at the right time with a distraction. You tried your best not to dwell on the dismal way your evening ended and instead continued to list off the many reasons why the word “simple” and “Gojo Satoru” did not go hand and hand with each other. Your conversation made time fly but that was usually the case whenever you spoke with your friend.

You were so lost in the playfully heated debate you were having, you barely heard the knock coming from your front door.

You abandoned your conversation to see who it was, surprised to find a massive bouquet of flowers greeting you on the other side.

“What…”

Haru peaked from behind the flowers, his sweet smile spreading as he looked at you with sad eyes.

“Happy anniversary!” he chirped, but you could hear the anxiousness in his tone. “ I know I’m late, I know I missed dinner…”

A deep sigh escaped him, as he slightly slumped his shoulders, extending both his hands out to you to pass the bouquet.

“I know this is a meaningless gift in comparison to whatever amazing thing you prepared, I know my efforts don’t even come close to yours, you always put so much care into everything you do. By the time I knew I was late, I was running around the city like a mad man hoping that someone, anyone, would be kind enough to open their shop for me so I would at least not come back empty handed…”

“Haru, take a breath…” you replied, hearing how quickly he was blurting out his words, something he usually did when he was nervous.

You took the bouquet from his hands, admiring the selected assortment of your favorite florals, all picked out by your boyfriend. You traced your fingers along each petal, some a little bruised and you could tell that these flowers were from  the leftovers of the day.

Haru approached you, cupping your face in his hands as he leaned down and planted a kiss on your lips.

“I’m so sorry . None of my excuses justify missing dinner tonight. I swear I am going to make it up to you…”

You tried to calm him down, running your fingers through his light brown hair and taking in every word he said as you remained focused on his hazel eyes. Your heart flutters thinking of him galavanting around the city in his disheveled work suit trying to knock on every florists’ door, a funny anecdote you will surely use against him in the future.  

“How do you plan on making it up to me?” You teased, noticing the way his brow raised at your question.

He pulled you closer into him, planting kisses along your neck before he brushed his lips against your ear to say, “I’m taking the weekend off, how does a nice trip to Hakone sound?”

“ Mmm, ideal… ” you replied, clutching the bouquet of flowers as he hugged you, “but if you keep holding me close, you’re going to ruin this lovely gift you bought me…”

“Then I’ll buy you another, and another, and another ...until I’ve given you enough flowers so that you can plant an entire garden,” he kissed you again, his fingers stroking the back of your neck as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“I’m so sorry, baby…” he repeated, his voice wavering slightly from his second apology.

“It’s okay, work comes first. I know you have been busy and probably should have planned our evening with you instead of surprising you. But you’re here now and that's what matters.”

He nodded his head, finally untangling himself from your arms, relieved that you seemed to have forgiven him.

“ I love you so much.”

“ I love you too, Haru .”

You gave him a small smile, tilting your head towards the direction of your kitchen, “It might be too late for dinner but I baked you some cupcakes if you’re up for a little snack…”

Haru removed his blazer, carefully hanging it over his elbow before undoing the first few buttons of his shirt. He held your hand, following your footsteps as you led him into the direction of your kitchen.

“ I can’t wait to try them. ”

( Present)

“ You brought me here under false pretences …” Gojo grumbled, holding himself back as you tugged on his jacket.

It’s been four months since the two of you started hooking up and weeks since he and Rina have even spoken to one another.

After Gojo confessed that she knew about your relationship, you managed to find the time to sit down with your best friend for a heart to heart. The two of you had a ritual which included locking yourselves up in a room with snacks  and drinks until you came to resolve whatever conflict you were dealing with.

“I just don’t understand why you kept this from me,” Rina explained, before taking a sip of the mixed cocktail you both made.

“ You’ve been so overprotective ever since Haru and I broke up…it’s hard for me to talk to you because you start analyzing every little thing I do. Like when I told you I wanted to stop dating for a while, you kept insisting that I was making a mistake because I was running scared…”

“I also know you’re a hopeless romantic, and a few bad dates weren’t fitting this idealised version you have of love…” Rina pressed, “You got lucky with Haru, but diving back into the game takes time and work…”

“I know I was lucky. I know it’s not usual for the first guy you meet to be so… good ,” you replied, that word tasting bitter in your mouth, “But you keep pressuring me into something I am not ready for…”

“That’s not true!”

“Rina, you would take me out on “surprise” double dates when the two of us were just supposed to just be hanging out together. Whenever I talk about Haru, you shut down and change the subject immediately. I can’t even have a night out together without you herding every single eligible male and asking me my opinion…”

Rina sighed, “it sounds way worse when you say it out loud...”

“It’s like you can’t stand that I’m just… a little broken . I let Haru become a part of who I am for five years and losing him feels like I lost a part of me, and I am struggling trying to get that person back. You want me to be okay so badly it’s stopping me from opening up to you…”

Rina inched her way closer as the two of you sat side by side. A sigh escaped her before she spoke, “I’m not good at this…I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I just can’t stand seeing you so hurt. I know that he took a piece of your happiness and I am so angry that he did. I hate that he betrayed your trust, but more so that you haven’t been able to be yourself without him…”

She squeezed your shoulder before giving you a gentle reminder, “but he never defined you. You’re attaching yourself to the love you had for him. And you will find somebody else, somebody better …”

“Maybe but I can’t see myself falling in love again…at least not anytime soon…”

Rina rested her head on your elbow, “I don’t want you to ever think you can’t speak to me…we’ve lasted way longer than all the exes that have walked in and out of our lives…”

You were happy to mend this small fracture, one of the many that has tried to hinder your friendship.

You eventually explained your little arrangement with Gojo, watching Rina’s reaction closely and trying to pull the truth of what she  exactly  said to him.

“I may have thought you were dating, like seriously dating, and told him he wasn’t good enough for you. I am glad to know that you are not. We don’t need to trade one man whore for another…”

You laughed, “Gojo has always made it clear that he has no desire to commit to anyone. I’m not worried. Besides, we can stop our arrangement anytime we are over it.”

“Sooo, when might that be?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “right now, I’m having fun and I think he is too…”

Rina hummed, you could tell she was thinking about something but whatever ran through her mind in that moment she chose to keep to herself.

Even though you and Rina smoothed things over, you realised that neither she or Gojo tried to make an effort to speak to one another. He was avoiding her at all costs while she chose to ignore  the subject entirely. You still had no idea what was said that set those two off but you were over this cold game they were playing.

“Between your inability to handle any confrontation and her stubborn attitude, you two are going to drag this on for way longer than it needs to be…” you lectured.

You paused when you arrived at her store, staring up at Gojo with pleading eyes. “I don’t like being the reason why you two aren’t speaking… please just talk to her…”

Gojo whined, “throw it on my conscience instead, that way you have no reason to feel guilty…”

You furrowed your brows before letting go of him, but a thought passed your mind which gave you an idea, “Remember that thing you brought up the other night? Your little roleplaying idea…”

Gojo arched his brows from underneath his blindfold, surprised that you were even bringing this up. “ Yes… ”

You smirked, stepping closer to him without actually touching him at all. “If you do this for me then I'll happily return the favor…”

His eyes widened, his heart racing slightly as a wave of excitement rushed through him.

You could see he was contemplating your offer, finally scoffing in defeat. “You know saying no to you was a lot easier when you weren’t bribing me with sex…” he grumbled, as he begrudgingly walked passed you.

“You did tell me once that you were a man of simple taste…”

“And I vividly remember you disagreeing with me.”

“Thank you!” You called out watching him reach the handle of the entrance door.

“Just know I am expecting you to hold up your end of the deal,” he replied before making his way inside.

***

Gojo sat at the counter, the awkward silence hung heavy in the air as Rina waited for him to break the tension. When that didn’t happen, she sighed to herself before storming to the backroom of her shop.

Gojo waited for her return, his eyes widening when she finally reappeared with something in her hands.

“ I’m sorry for how I spoke to you,” she said, bowing in his direction and handing him some treats.

“Aww, Rina-chan, how did you know kikufuku was my favorite?” Gojo questioned, his tone softening his sweet words as he held the packet between his fingers.

“I heard it through the grapevine…”

Gojo couldn’t hide his pleasured grin.

You were always so considerate of everyone, going above and beyond to make them happy and paying close attention to the things they liked the most. You must have already spoken to Rina before he came here, playing the role of matchmaker between friends.

Rina definitely noticed his response.

“Thank you,” he replied as he opened up the packet, “I know your anger was coming from a protective place. I don’t fault you for it. Besides, you and I can happily agree on one thing…”

“What’s that?”

Gojo smirked, “she’s too good for me…”

Rina swallowed hard, mainly because of how sincere that statement actually sounded.

“I care about her…”

Gojo hummed to himself, taking a bite of the sweet snack. “And you think I don’t?”

“Can I be honest?”

“ Please. ”

“I am not questioning your care for her, I am questioning what your intentions are. I won’t apologize for not trusting you.  You promised me after she broke up with Haru that you wouldn’t make a move on her but here we are now…”

“I kept my promise.”

“You found a loophole…”

“It’s been three years…she’s allowed to move on.”

“Yes she is…”

“You know, I was surprised by how angry you got at her for keeping us a secret, especially since we both know that there are plenty of things you’re hiding from her right now. Then I started thinking that it wasn’t the secret that was bothering you, you just don’t want her moving on with me…”

Rina averted her gaze, completely surprised by how easily Gojo read her.

“Like I said, I don’t trust you…”

He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the counter, “What did Haru tell you exactly?”

“Why are you asking?”

“I just want to know if you’re still adamant on convincing yourself that I am the bad guy or if you would like to know what actually happened between us…”

*** 

CHAPTER 12 - MUSE

#Gojo Satoru #Gojo Satoru x reader #Gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you #Gojo Satoru x ofc #Gojo x ofc #Gojo Satoru x you #Gojo x you #gojo fanfic #jjk fan fiction #Gojo angst #Gojo fluff #Gojo smut

[sxngshine]

Siren

Request: AU: supernatural au! (surprise me) Trope: unrequited love, Prompt: "Sometimes I sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different" [you don't have to do this if you don't like- but I thought it would be fun to submit an entry😅]

Captain!Felix x Sea Creature!Reader

Word count: 3.5k (idk wtf happened lol)

Warnings: Kinda angsty(I suck at angst though so idk if it'll be sad or not 😭), mentions of blood and death.

Description: In which Captain Felix sails a new course unfamiliar in order to return back home, only to enter the territory of someone who’s been eyeing him the moment she sees his ship. 

A/N: I’m not sure if the terms I’m using are correct or if anything I’m talking about concerning manning a ship is correct or not, pls forgive me if it’s incorrect but for the sake of this fic we’re gonna pretend it’s right lmao. Also! Our lovely reader will also be played around with cause she was gonna be a siren but like not a siren if ya catch my drift. I'm not as happy with this as I wish i was but that's Okay.

happy reading!!

“Get up everyone! We got a long day ahead of us,” Felix yelled as he walked out of his cabin. The sun had barely risen but Felix was determined to leave as soon as possible so that they stayed ahead of schedule. 

The crew slowly rose from their hammocks while the rest trudged out of the crew's cabins, all groaning because of how early it was. The quartermaster, Chan walked up to Felix. 

“Morning cap’,” Chan yawned, throwing an arm over Felix’s shoulder. Felix grunted and gave Chan a distasteful look. “No one’s around Hyung, don’t call me cap’.” The shorter blonde pushed Chans' arm off him and walked up to the quarterdeck. All of Felix’s men were to address him as Captain or Sir, but since Felix had known Chan since they were kids, he preferred to be called by his first name when they were alone.

 Most of the crew was already on the main deck, getting themselves ready for the day and eating breakfast. Felix walked up the edge of the deck and let out a loud whistle, catching the attention of all the men.

“Rise and shine everyone! We set sail for Korea in 30 so hustle! We still got crates waiting to be loaded!” Felix instructed and was answered by a loud “Yes sir!!!”. He then called over Minho, the ship's helmsman to discuss the route they were taking. Chan clapped Minho on the back before and messed up Felix's hair (much to Felix's dissatisfaction) before he left to supervise the main deck. 

By the time everything was loaded and ready, the route was set and everyone was working to sail the ship out to sea once again.

“Captain!” I.N yelled from his position in the nest. Felix poked his head out to see who called him, his attention turning to the boy who was sliding down the rope from the nest and running towards him. “There's a storm up ahead! And it looks like a nasty one,” the boy reported. Felix took out his telescope, and just as I.N said, there was a dark grey cloud heading their way. 

There was no way they could go back right now, but it was too risky to try and ride out the storm. Felix walked up to where Minho was steering the ship, looking at the map beside him. “We’ll need to take a detour, are we near any land?” Felix asked, running a hand through his hair. He was positive that the weather wouldn’t be bad for the next few days.

“There should be some land northeast from where we are. But we’ll have to take another route home if we break course right now.” Minho explained and Felix sighed. “Very well,” he turned to Chan who overheard the conversation, giving him the signal. Chan nodded and ordered all the men to get into position, everyone working in sync to turn the ship.

It took a good hour of sailing for them to find land. “LAND AHOY!” I.N yelled from the nest, pointing to where a small island was. Felix was confused, there weren’t any islands on the map where they were. But his confusion turned into relief once they docked the ship. He had been worried for a while, thinking that they broke off the initial course only to not be able to find any land. 

The island looked like it had been untouched, which made Felix suspicious, but he moved it to the back of his head for now. “Listen up men! We’ll stay here for the night till the storm passes. Rest up cause we’ll be leaving first thing in the morning.” Felix called over Chan, Hyunjin, and Changbin, the 3 men walking up to him. 

“You three will come with me, we’re going to see if there’s anyone else around here.” He explained and began to walk into the forest of trees. “MINHO AND JISUNG! You guys are in charge till we’re back.” Felix called, continuing when he heard a faint yes sir. 

The four boys walked deeper into the dense forest, looking for any sign of human life. Suddenly, the four boys stopped when Felix heard a voice. “Did you guys hear that?” he asked, looking around. The other three looked at each other and shook their heads. 

Felix could’ve sworn that he heard a voice, but he figured it was nothing and carried on. Felix was walking in front of the others looking around but in the end, nothing was found. However, they managed to find some fruit and snagged some on the way back. Felix still couldn't stop thinking about that voice he heard. It almost sounded like someone was singing, and Felix couldn't deny that although it was really faint it sounded beautiful, almost like it was calling out to him.

Felix was snapped back into reality when he saw Minho and Jisung holding back one of the crewmates from possibly beating the other that was on the ground into a pulp. Felix sighed, groaning internally.

‘You two had only one job...’ 

Night had fallen over the island and Felix was glad that they decided to take a detour, there was no way they’d be able to survive this storm if they were still at sea. Felix was lying down on his bed wondering where that voice could’ve come from. He didn’t understand why he was so curious, but there was something about what he heard that kept him wanting to check it out. Having had enough, Felix got up and put his coat on, quietly walking out of his cabin into the pouring rain and ran down the ship into the thick forest. 

When Felix was in deep enough, the rain had practically stopped, only coming down in little droplets. Felix took the same route he did just hours ago, but this time instead of a smooth path, Felix found himself walking normally one second and then the ground disappearing beneath him the next.

He went sliding and tumbling down a rocky ground, managing to grab onto a tree root that thankfully stopped him from falling off the ledge he was now dangling off of. Felix quickly pushed himself up and sat down, groaning in pain. Then he suddenly heard the most beautiful voice singing. 

I've been watchin' you for some time

Can't stop starin' at those ocean eyes~

Ignoring the throbbing in his body, Felix stood up and began to make his way down the ledge, blindly following the voice until he was in a large open cave, lit by beautiful shining crystals. 

Burning cities and napalm skies

Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes~

Felix’s head snapped in front of him, eyes widening when he saw what looked to be a woman sitting on a rock that was surrounded by a pool of water. She looked almost ethereal sitting there, combing her luscious dark brown locks that cascading down her back. 

Your ocean eyes~

The woman turned towards Felix, motioning for him to come closer with her long delicate fingers. She had large innocent-looking eyes, a cute little nose, and plump pink lips. By this point, Felix thought he fell in love at first sight. He slowly walked towards her, stopping when his eyes went lower to where her legs should’ve been. Instead, he was met with a green scaly tail. But rather than being scared, he was more curious. The woman looked confused when she saw that Felix stopped. Seconds later, the woman was jumping into the pool, and before Felix could even blink she was floating by his feet.

“Hello there,” Felix greeted the half woman half creature, crouching down to her level. He noticed that the water looked very shallow, but by the way the mermaid looking creature dived into the water, he was positive that wasn’t the case. “What’s your name?” he asked, hoping to get an answer.

The woman stared at him dumbfounded, slightly startled by his deep voice before answering. “Y/n,” 

Felix smiled, glad that he got an answer. “Are you a mermaid?” Y/n snorted when she heard that, shaking her head. “Those stuck-up wannabes don't live around here,” she said, resting her cheek on her hand as she examined the boy before her. “Then what’re you?”

Y/n ignored his question, instead asking him a question. “Shall I sing you a song?” she asked. Felix wanted to ask why she wouldn’t answer him but then he found himself nodding instead. Y/n began singing once again.

I've been walkin' through a world gone blind

Can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind

Y/n reached for Felix’s hand, which he allowed her to take, too entranced by her voice to care. 

Careful creature made friends with time

Y/n tugged at his hand, lowering his head till their faces were inches apart.

He left her lonely with a diamond mind

She snaked a hand around Felix's neck, pressing her lips against his, kissing the boy softly. Felix instantly reacted, kissing her back. When Y/n was sure he was distracted, she lifted her other hand, fingers turning into sharp claws. Felix deepened the kiss, holding Y/n’s jaw in his hand and sliding his tongue into her mouth. Y/n was glad, this boy was going to be a piece of cake.

She brought her hand down, ready to kill the boy in front of her but what caught her off guard was when Felix grabbed her wrist with his free hand. Y/n froze, but Felix continued to kiss her as if it was nothing. When he pulled away, Y/n stared at him with wide eyes. Felix stared back into her what he now noticed were dull eyes, but he managed to catch a hint of guilt in them.

“Not today sweetheart,” Felix whispered, deep voice slightly raspy. Y/n couldn’t understand why he was able to react so quickly. She’d killed many men within minutes of meeting them, but for some reason, she just couldn't seem to kill Felix.

Chills ran down Y/ns back when she heard the pet name roll off his tongue. She switched to her last resort, gripping onto his neck and pulling him into the deep water. 

Felix struggled to remove her grip from his shoulders, trying his best to remain calm. Y/n stuck her sharp claws into his shoulders, causing the deep blue water to turn a deep red. When she was sure that Felix was dead, a few tears left her eyes. 

And those ocean eyes…

Y/n removed her claws from the now dead body, watching as he came afloat, still and unmoving. A sob left her mouth, more tears falling. It happened every time she killed someone, Y/n would start sobbing like crazy, shaking and afraid. She pulled the body out of the water, laying him onto the ground, and ran her fingers through his blonde hair. He was handsome from what Y/n could tell from behind her tears. The freckles splattered all over his face. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, laying her head on his chest. 

“I don't have anything against you… but if I didn't do this then they’d come and kill you instead. It would’ve been pure torture to be killed by them. This was the only way to save you.” Y/n said, propping her head up using her elbow, she traced the boy's lips. “It’s a shame I never got your name. I bet it would’ve been pretty like you,” she whispered, leaning down to press one final kiss to the boys' lips before she discarded the body. What she didn’t expect though, was for the boy to kiss her back.

She pulled away and shrieked, moving as far away as she could from the body. “Y'know, it’s not nice to kiss someone the way you did and then try to kill them.” Felix rasped, turning to the side so he could cough up some water. Y/n's eyes filled with tears and she covered her mouth. “H-how’re you still alive? You just d-died,” she stuttered.

“You must’ve killed most people the first time only, cause the third time really wasn’t the charm.” Felix chuckled. Y/n stayed silent, shocked because how could he be laughing and acting like she didn't just almost kill him. “Nonononono you’re supposed to be dead. They’ll sniff you out and it’ll be the end of the both of us why didn't you just die-” y/n mumbled and began to shake.

Felix noticed her shock, sitting up and scooting closer to her. Y/n’s mumbles seized when he pulled her into a hug, whispering sweet nothings and reassurances about how he’ll protect them both. 

Felix pulled away and placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “Hear me out..” he said quietly. Other than the dull burn all over his body, Felix's chest had tightened the moment he heard the cries of the creature in front of him and it warmed when he heard her laugh. Not to mention the flutter and increase of his heart rate when they kissed. 

“I love you,” Y/n stared at the boy in front of her like he was crazy. “I know for a fact what love is, and what it’s like to be in love. I can tell you 100% what I feel for you right now is love,” Felix tried to convince her. 

Y/n scoffed, pushing the boy off her, but he wasn't through yet. “You’re out of your mind.” 

“I am, but that's not the point here.” Felix countered, holding tightly onto her hand. “Please just give me a chance-” he tried to say but he was cut off.

 “STOP! Do you hear yourself?? I don’t even know your name-” Y/n said but then was also cut off. “It’s Felix,” he answered.

“Well FELIX, you’re clearly out of your mind. Look at me, I’m a goddamn monster. I’m not capable of feeling love or being loved.” 

“Yes, you are! I know you love me too! I heard you crying and everything you said before you kissed me again. I know you didn't want to and you did it with good intentions. Please Y/n, we both love each other we-” 

“FELIX! You know nothing. I don't love you and you don't love me either. I didn't say anything after drowning you and I kiss all my victims after they die. It’s my goodbye to them and then I throw their bodies away. You were no different.” Y/n was about done with Felix, why couldn’t he get the message? 

“I know I was, cause if you didn’t have any feelings towards me then you would’ve killed me by now. I’d be long gone yet here I am. I don't care about whoever you said is trying to kill me, I can protect myself and I’ll protect you too. I promi-” Y/n gasped, covering her mouth as she sat frozen in place.

“You heard that? Nononono this just makes everything worse they-” Y/n tried to say but then her eyes began to glow a bright blue and her brown hair was now as deep blue as the water sitting beside them. 

Felix stared and her frozen position, about to shake her out of worry but then she was back to normal right after. 

“They’re coming.” was all she said. Felix saw the change of y/ns mood. She looked like she had given up. Her eyes were duller than before if that was even possible. Her shoulders were slumped. She looked Felix in the eyes and he froze, she looked like she was dead inside. 

 “Who’s coming back-” Felix would’ve finished his sentence if it wasn’t for the big rock y/n threw straight at his head, knocking him out. Felix’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to his side, staring at Y/n as black spots began to take over his line of sight. “Please... Y/...n.” and with that Felix was out like a light. 

“He’s waking up!” “Get more water and ice!” 

Felix heard faint voices yell. He opened his eyes slowly only to be met by the concerned face of none other than Chan. 

‘Wait… Chan??’

Felix suddenly shot up, looking around. He was in his cabin, Chan, and Minho sitting by the side of his bed. “Nononono where’s Y/n?!” He asked frantically, trying to get out of bed but Chan stopped him. 

“Woah there bud, take it easy. Who’s Y/n?” Chan asked calmly. 

“What happened? How did I get here?” Felix screamed, tears forming in his eyes. 

“When we woke up you weren’t in your room so we assumed you went out, but then we saw you lying face down in the water and you were all bruised and beaten looking. So here you are now.” Minho explained. “Now don't you think we deserve to know what the hell happened to you? You’re the most skilled person out of all the men we have, so how the hell did you end up like this?”

Felix opened his mouth to explain but then he felt a sudden rocking underneath him. “Did we start sailing again?” he asked, feeling a sudden panic arise in him. Chan nodded and pointed outside. “We set sail just a few minutes ago.”

Felix used all his might to push Chan and Minho out of the way and ran out of his cabin, rushing up to the quarterdeck and crying out when he saw the island was growing smaller by the minute. 

He stared dejectedly at the island which was now just a dot in the distance. Felix saw something move in the distance and when he squinted he saw the luscious Brown locks he could never forget. “Y/n? Y/N!!!!” He yelled. She smiled sadly at him and waved, then 6 other creatures emerged and no matter how much she tried to fight them off, they had pulled her under.

“Y/N NOOOOO!” Felix cried, falling to his knees. It didn't matter to him that he fell in love with someone at first sight; what did matter though, was that the person who managed to take his heart in one night also managed to crush it not even a few hours later. 

3 years later. 

Felix and his crew had set sail once again for another voyage. This time setting course for the United States. Night had fallen once again but Felix wasn’t sleeping. He sat where he did every day for the past 3 years during the night at the very back of the ship where he last saw Y/n, hoping that he’d see her again someday. Even to this day, he waited and waited. 

“You waiting for her again?” A voice asked from behind him. Felix nodded at the Aussie who threw an arm around his best friend. 

“Y'know, I don't know if I ever told you this but, Sometimes I sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different. What if she was human? Or whoever tried to kill her didn't exist. What if I was like her? We could’ve been together if that was the case,” Feliz sighed, running a hand through his hair. Even to this day, he still remembered how heavenly her hand felt running through his hair, how soft her lips felt against his, how cold yet comforting her skin was. 

“Maybe in another life, you two will end up together.” Chan comforted his friend. 

“Maybe...” Felix agreed.

600 years later

“Felix hurry up! We’re gonna be late again!!” Chan yelled from the kitchen. Felix practically flew downstairs on one foot as he attempted to put a shoe on the other. “Let's go! We have 10 more minutes!” 

Both boys rushed to Chan's car and drove to their university in record time. They ran as fast as they could and were halfway to class when Felix realized he left his book in Chan's car.

“Chan, I left my textbook in your car!” Felix groaned. Chan smacked him upside the head and threw him his keys, running to class while thinking of good ways to distract their professor. 

Felix ran back to Chan's car and grabbed his textbook. When he was running back towards the building, he being the idiot he is, ran into someone and fell back onto his butt. The person in front of him held their hand out which he gladly took. He stood up and finally looked at the person he bumped into. She was really pretty, with large innocent looking eyes, a cute little nose, and plump pink lips. But there was something about her eyes that was really dull like they had lost the light in them. “You okay?” she asked. 

Something about her voice sounded so alluring to Felix but he couldn’t pin why. “Oh-UH yes! Yea I’m okay, sorry for bumping into you,” Felix apologized. “It’s fine,” the brunette said before turning and walking towards the building. Felix followed her and decided to introduce himself. 

“My name’s Felix, What's yours?”

“Y/n,”

Fin.

#skz au #skz scenarios #skz fluff #au #bang chan #chanlix #lee felix fluff #felix x reader #Siren au #felix imagines #felix angst #skz fanfic #skz smut #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #straykids #stray kids angst

[ofcowardiceandkings]

I think you mentioned listening to podcasts? Do you have any favorites to reccommend? I've run out of content :(

that i do !

im not entirely sure what kind of podcast you'd be interested in but i'll throw out a few of the goodies in my huge library of stuff , i'll miss out a few of the HUGE podcasts that have been all over tumblr though

a LOT of it is true crime or human interest stuff , or history because im nerd ,, and a few of these dont have nearly enough attention so [shrug] i'll try to keep this short i guess lol this isnt EVERYTHING ive got in my library or listened series' by any measure

i AM gonna pop a shout to both Stuff You Missed in History Class and Stuff You Should Know from iHeartRadio because their HUGE archives have kept me from losing my mind many times over , and they cover a wide range of both important and wacky topics

BomBARDed (ongoing) this is the only fiction podcast i have happening right now really but its DAMN GOOD ONE .... it's an actual-play D&D 5E podcast in the DMs own musically-inspired world, focussed on a group of multiclass bards going to music school !! and all players (+DM) are members of the Texas band Lindby !! and they actually use and play music in the show with one original song an episode !! Kyle's worldbuilding and storycraft are truly incredible, and (Nick) Goodrich, (also Nick) Spurrier, and Ali's characters are in depth and interesting as well as an absolute powerhouse :') i actually made a piece for its first fanzine, Bardic Dreaming, which published earlier this year and is free to view now, all the players and the community are super wholesome its just very good overall 💙

History & Humans;

Fall of Civilisations (ongoing) legit one of my favourite podcast finds, im so glad my youtube autoplayed one of these ... it took me like 2 hours to realise it was 1) not the same as what was playing before and 2) had been on for 2 hours and wasnt near finished lmao. anyway, this is a series by historical fiction writer Paul Cooper, and is honest to all thats good one of the best documentary series ive encountered in years - and ive consumed a LOT of documentaries. it covered the downfall of various civilisations through history, and the episodes run from an hour to FOUR hours depending on the topic. its so chill to listen to and just get done, but over the pandemic all of the episodes have been given full movie-quality video versions too on youtube if youre more of a visual person.

Casting Lots: A Survival Cannibalism Podcast (on series break) yeah that says that lol ... its a SUPER niche topic but its very interesting and treated very well despite being kind of comical at times, the hosts are just naturally funny lol ... it delves around from the history of cannibalism in whole regions to specific incidents as recently as the 1970s, and of course the first episode is about the Donner Party, and it covers things ive never heard of despite being kind of important ?? anyway Alix and Carmella are good eggs

Sawbones (ongoing) i probably dont need to mention much here other than say that Justin and Sydnee saved me from being SO BORED sooo often, the history of medicine is wacky as hell and its what most of my history GCSE was on so [shrugs]

Cautionary Tales (on series break) this was a wild-card find lol ... it's by Tim Harford "the undercover economist" who writes for the Financial Times, and its topics kind of weave modern topics and science with how to learn from historical errors ... its a bit weird but well worth a go, also each series has a few celebrity guest voice actors which is pretty awesome

Ephemeral (ongoing) this is a very strange but thought provoking series about sounds and other things just barely saved. topics include the last castrato, the hello girls, hand-stamped records, the spread of kīkā kila music, and acoustic fossils of wild places.

Neat! The Boozecast (ongoing) history and bartending whats not to like lol ... hosted by Teylor Smirl and now their dad Tommy, they're just digging around in how important booze is to human culture

True Crime (white collar and weirdness);

Swindled (ongoing) this is an amazing show full stop. A Concerned Citizen details some of the most impactful and unruly things to happen in white collar and corporate crime. very factually accurate but given the sheer bullshit of the topics the deadpan snarking is [chefs kiss] absolutely warranted ..

American Scandal (on series break) this one is a series within a series type, and spends a few episodes at a time poking holes in some of America's biggest scandals, from a dramatised but fact-based point of view. such as what the hell was going on with Enron, how big tobacco was forced to own up to covering its own ass, how Iran-Contra happened, etc. it also now has a sister show called British Scandal, which does the same thing for British cases but with a slightly different format.

Missing in Alaska (finished) this was a fascinating series, a deep dive into what happened to two US government officials who disappeared on a small chartered flight in Alaska in 1972. it goes some really strange places, but it actually turned up a lot of previously unknown information through the audience. John Walczak's new series in a new feed is Missing on 9/11 which looks into what happened to Dr Sneha Philip.

Pretend (ongoing) Host Javier Leiva holds interviews with anyone living a lie, or who have been touched by them. con artists, snake oil salesmen, former cult members, catfishing victims, anyone and everyone.

Power: The Maxwells (finished) hosted by journalist Tara Palmeri, the story of media tycoon Robert Maxwell from nothing to empire to mysterious death and the scandals uncovered after he was gone.

Lets Talk About Sects (ongoing) Sarah Steele covering cults from around the world, in particular those in Australia - where she is from. She often has former members on the show to share their stories, and share knowledge of how they left. each story has the relevant content warnings at the start of each episode.

Brainwashed (finished) investigation of the CIA's covert mind control experiments, centred on the experiments performed at a hospital in Montreal, and its cultural impact.

Dr Death (2 series finished) two series investigating huge cases of fraud and medical malpractice, and how they were brought to a stop. series 1 covers Dr Duntsch and his horribly butchered neurosurgery, series 2 covers Dr Fata and his fraudulent cancer clinic

The Immaculate Deception (finished) untangling the weird and disturbing fertility fraud of Dr Jan Karbaat, who fathered children himself through his fertility clinic, and the impact of his deception. later episodes also touch on other similar cases.

True Crime (Violent/General);

The Casual Criminalist (ongoing) Simon Whistler of-the-many-youtube-channels cold reads a script about the case of the day, with some of his daft commentary thrown in.

Southern Fried True Crime (ongoing) Crimes from the American South hosted by Erica Kelley, she puts all the facts out there but refreshingly for true crime she doesnt hesitate to tell you if she thinks someone is human garbage lol

They Walk Among Us (ongoing) probably one of the most popular UK crime podcasts, very measured and well put together, not weird or annoying about it either.

All Crime No Cattle (ongoing, feed slowed down for now) specifically about crimes from Texas, hosted by Erin and Shay, they're very sensitive hosts and a lot of the cases they cover shed light on why the Texas criminal system is how it is or show an impact at a national level

Canadian True Crime (ongoing) Canadian crime from an Aussie who's lived there for a decade, Kristi is again a sensitive and measured host covering some important topics

True Crime (Violent/Deep Dive);

Hitman (finished) journalist Jasmyn Morris digs around in the sticky tangle around a book published by fringe publisher Paladin Press, and its apparent use as a blueprint in the killing of a mother, her friend and her 8 year old boy for financial gain.

Camp Hell: Anneewakee (ongoing) this series is exploring how a wilderness camp "correctional facility" was endorsed by the Georgia care and juvenile reform system, despite widespread abuses and shady practices the whole time. warning for csa and child cruelty throughout.

True Crime Bullshit (on series break) this one is a huge huge rabbithole but a very interesting one where the host Josh Hallmark has spent years digging into the life and potential crimes of Israel Keyes. Keyes is often mentioned as a serial killer with no pattern, but in picking it apart thats not quite true, and has sparked some re-evaluations of missing persons cases and stumbling upon information the FBI has redacted organically. there's also a series in the middle looking into the crimes of Kelly Cochran

Forgotten: Women of Juárez (finished) this series looks into the huge numbers of missing women of Ciudad Juárez, the strange circumstances surrounding them, and the potential cover-ups and corruptions on both sides of the border, trying to give a voice to all of the forgotten women and girls and their families without answers. the series itself is finished, but a spanish language edition is being released every week now.

aaaaaand i'll call it there before i list everything lol, i hope you find something to plug your boredom hole with !!

#audio #rory's ramblings #podcasts #asks #anon #long post

[missskzbiased]

The Three Lessons (2)

Genre: Angst, Romance, Fluff (Hm…), Witch! Au, Love Triangle

Pairing: Chan X Fem! Reader X Seungmin

Word Count: ~7,8K   [I’m sorry]

(The First) (The Second) (The Third)

Warnings: (Mild) Mentions of (Hunting and deboning [Literally just the word, I didn’t describe anything], burning witches)

Notes:  Well, I won’t lie... I’m quite sad because I really liked to plot this and I don’t think many people liked it but as I liked to write it, so I just shrugged it off USHAHUSAUHSHUAUHS That’s my ninja way. 

I really hope those who read and enjoyed it like this one too though LOL and I’ll warn you that I may have thrown some things around but it’s because I intend to write some spin-off for this au with the other boys. It’s not random! USHAHUSAUHUASH It just looks like it is

Tagging: Please, send me an ask/DM me if you wish to be tagged

                                                      ////

  CHAPTER 2: The Second Lesson

    Yerkir ─ The Earthy Elder ─ scoffed as soon as you stepped in the haven.

    You glanced at her, watching as she shifted to a new position on the stump ─ left leg bending to rest her foot on the woody surface while her right foot twisted to plant itself firmly on the ground ─, letting her arms resting sloppily on her knees; eyes directed to the woods. You averted your eyes to look straight ahead, ignoring her, and the reassuring squeeze you felt on your shoulder made you fix your gaze on your Grandma.

    “So… How was the hunt?” Yerkir asked in a knowing tone, clearly aware that you didn’t have anything in your hands but still choosing to mock you. She tapped her foot on the stump while groping her dress, searching for something through her pockets. She finally found it ─ some kind of dried root that looked like a stick ─, chewing mindlessly with her eyes still fixed on the horizon.

     “Why don’t you go look for something better to do, Yerkir?” Grandma muttered, rolling her eyes as she let go of your shoulder. She stopped, fixing the staff on the ground before leaning on it, eyes fixed on her old friend ─ which was promptly returned. The Earthy Elder fixed her gaze at your grandma for a few seconds, a blank expression almost flattening her wrinkles, her blinking showing her astonishment.

     “Maybe because I’m blind” The Elder pointed out, grimacing obnoxiously. She turned her eyes to you ─ as if she knew you were about to giggle ─, studying you for a moment before clicking her tongue and pursing her lips, sending a shiver down your spine under the intensity of her gaze.

    Yerkir's milky eyes always had the power to terrify you; her icy-bluish eyes seemed to be capable of diving into your soul and exposing all your deepest secrets to the world. You didn’t have anything to hide but it still scared you. Her gaze was stern, unwavering, and it had the power to freak you out; studying you slowly as if she just knew whatever was going inside your body and mind.

     “We had some… Issues” Your Grandma waved her hand dismissively “The animals preferred to retire themselves” She added, getting a snort as an answer. Yerkir leaned back on her palms, throwing you both an amused look before tilting her head, lips quivering in a silent mockery.

     “Yeah, I could tell this much” She nodded, her amusement morphing into a serious frown “I guess Nature wasn’t so satisfied with you for helping out a… Man” She spat the last word with disgust as if just the mention of it twisted her stomach “You should have let him die” She muttered darkly, averting her eyes to the cottages on her left expectantly, prompting you to do the same.

     “What was it?” The Airy Elder came out from her cottage, voice sounding like a soft breeze, a gentle huff that tinkled in the air “Has someone called me?” She inquired, eyes attentive as she swiveled her head to look around the place.

    The open space ─ a simple circular terrain with a bunch of stumps and rocks randomly arranged around a campfire ─ was surrounded by The Four Elders' cottages and The Tent in a placement that resembled slightly a pentagram but not really. The other’s cabins could be easily seen from there, scattered around the clearing, which made the small place just perfect for all the sixteen of you to hang out. The few of you who stood there at the moment, though, had to shake your head, getting a confused frown from the elder.

    “The voices are getting more chaotic each day…” She complained under her breath, fixing her gaze on her friends “Are you two fighting again?” She scolded, hand to her hip as they looked at her with arched brows.

    “Go talk to the wind, airhead!” Yerkir sneered, fighting back a smirk “Let me fight wet-pants in peace!” She rolled her eyes, waving her hand dismissively. Your Grandma rubbed her temples, sighing before looking at you, holding your gaze for just a little bit before averting her eyes to the sarcastic elder.

    “Look, it wasn’t his time” She stated, speaking slowly so Yerkir would pay attention to her words “I can’t ignore what Nature wants because you hate mankind” She rolled her eyes, fed-up with the woman “Caeli, please blow some sense into her mind” She pleaded, averting her gaze to The Airy Elder.

    “Some people don’t have anything inside their brains” She shrugged, giving a judging look to Yerkir “The earth magic is solid enough to block her ears… Have been like this for years now” She sighed, shaking her head in disappointment “She just can’t listen to us”

    “Next time try saying something smart” She spat angrily “I have a lot of things inside my brain! One of those is a fucking head trauma! Thank you very much for asking” She sat straight, getting up from her stump and glaring at the other two “Should I remind you that this solid magic was what kept your child safe?” her eyes buried imaginary holes into Caeli’s brain.

     If you tried hard enough, you could cut the tension with a knife.

     “That’s enough!” The Fiery Elder interjected, voice spreading like fire on dry grass before vanishing suddenly, getting everyone’s attention. The Tent entrance’s fabric rustled, giving way to the old lady to come out; stern eyes darting between the other three elders, a frown wrinkling her face, casting shadows over her eyes “We should be handling The Coven issues, not fighting over silly things” She added, crossing her arms.

     “Issues?” Grandma asked surprised, looking to the other ones “Something happened while I was out?” She added, furrowing her brows with a serious expression, dropping the taunting. Yerkir mumbled something incomprehensible, casually sitting cross-legged on the ground in a rapid motion, fingers gripping her chin in a pensive way.

    “Something has been messing up my vision” She began, resting her elbow on her knee and curving her back forward “There is too much magic permeating the woods, I can no longer see clearly…” She admitted, letting go of her chin and straightening up again, gaze fixing on you “What did you do in the woods? I suddenly lost track of you before you got to the… Boy” She scrunched her nose to the last word.

    “Nothing?” You answered unsurely “I mean… Something strange happened…” You glanced nervously to your Grandma, biting your lip before continuing, “I think the wind talked to me” You admitted before looking at Caeli “Maybe my powers are awakening?” You suggested, uncertain, and she pursed her lips, nodding in wonder.

    “Well, you’re seventeen… Months away from your eighteenth birthday” She mused “It’s quite possible… It’s about time for your powers to show up anyway” She shrugged, looking at Yerkir “It could be magic enough to mess your senses… The Winds were quite agitated earlier” The Earthy Elder hummed, tapping her chin before tilting her head in deep thought.

    “And you, Wiha?” She asked, staring at your Grandma “What was that? A memory spell? You know far too well it’s not your specialty” She pointed out, arching her brow “Last time I checked, your earth magic was bullshit” She scorned, and your Grandma grimaced at her in discontent.

    “Well, last time I checked your lazy ass didn’t want to help me out so I had to do it all by myself” She sneered, glaring at the old woman. They held each other’s gaze for a while, a silent battle for dominance; pursed lips and fierce eyes determined to win their competition.

     “Not the point here” Isati reminded, sighing tiredly “There is no doubt other witches are alive and enchanting the woods along with us… The mixed signals we’re receiving must be from this” She mused, averting her gaze to Caeli “The voices sound familiar? Do you think they are trying to locate us as well?”

    “I can’t discern the voices that well anymore… The enchantments are getting in the way somehow” She sighed, lowering her head “I have been sending messages around, though… None of my whispers were answered until now… I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful” Isati hummed, waving at her to dismiss any concerns.

    “It’s the same for me” Yerkir agreed “The ground is too embued with magic… It seems like they have been planning something… Maybe an attack? There is just so much I can see now, so I can’t locate them for us… The other Covens were well hidden before but never like this” She sighed, averting her eyes “It’s like they took my vision all over again”

    “The boy had other enchantments beside mine” Your Grandma added “They know we are close to them… It would be impossible not to sense my magic in the river” She pinned her chin, thinking deeply about something “Did they choose to ignore us, or are they challenging us?” She raised her eyes to Isati, a serious frown taking over her features.

    “There is no reason for witches attack each other” Isati stated firmly but Yerkir scoffed, nodding sarcastically.

    “Are you kidding me? We don’t know what they have been through… There are twenty years behind us! This is enough time to change someone” She pointed out, skeptical “It will be safer if we make sure they don’t want any trouble… Imagine fighting some old hags with a bunch of useless kids” She gestured to the witches and warlocks around “Most of them didn’t even get their powers yet! They will die on spot”

    “What if they attack us when we find them?” Isati arched her brows and Yerkir scoffed.

    “Well, what if they attack us when they find us?” She retorted “It’s better to be attacked out there than giving away our location to them… What if they track us without magic? We don’t know anything about them! It’s better to show ourselves and actively try to reach for them and talk this out” Everyone nodded in agreement, a heavy silence falling upon all of you.

    The Elders exchanged a look, concerned about the worried expressions all of you held at once, the tension building to a point that it was impossible not to feel uncomfortable. The Earthy Elder cleared her throat, tapping her feet on the ground in a calming rhythm while The Airy Elder whistled, both of them trying to ease your mind and soul. One by one, each one of you seemed to finally calm down, releasing the withhold breath in your chest and relaxing your bodies.    

     “We’ll need a plan” Isati announced, eyes roaming around “We can have a private meeting later… For now, we should keep our activities” She decided, throwing you a look “We should increase your sessions if your powers are beginning to show up” She suggested “Meet me at the tent when you’re ready” And that being said, she turned around, arms crossed on her back before she walked out.

    You stared at her hands.

    To be more precise, to the lack of them.

    “Didn’t your Grandma teach you that staring is impolite?” Chan whispered in your ears, his warmth suddenly registering in your mind. You let out a yelp, turning around to meet his playful eyes, a thin smirk adorning his lips. How could he be so beautiful? “I see you’re keeping my coat to yourself… You didn’t need to hide it, you could just ask me for it” He joked, and you widened your eyes.

     Oh, Mother Nature! His coat…

     “Oh, yeah! Haha…” You forced a smile, your fake laughter being way too obvious to him. He raised his eyebrow, curious “Well, about that… I may have given it away to the boy Grandma saved” You looked away, ashamed to admit it.

     “Oh” He said in realization, brows arching up in surprise “That’s okay… It wasn’t really special or anything” He shrugged “It was just an old coat, I can live without it… Maybe you can help me buy a new one when you turn eighteen” He said shyly, looking away “We can buy it at the village or something” He concluded flustered.

      Was it just you or Bang Chan was asking you out on a date?

      “Wow… This must be the most awkward flirting I have ever witnessed” Minho spoke up, carrying a bunch of sticks to the campfire “It amazes me how you guys managed to spend seventeen years of your life being gross” He decided to add, dropping the sticks to the ground and dusting off his hands, eyes averting to you.

      It would be impossible to ignore his resemblance with The Earthy Elder.

      “It amazes me how you managed to spend eighteen years of your life by giving opinions no one ever asked” You retorted, grimacing at him. Chan chuckled beside you, looking at his friend in amusement, while Minho feigned a laugh, hands going to his hips.

      “Sixteen to be more precise” He corrected “I’ve only learned to speak at the age of two”

      You just rolled your eyes at his antics.

                                                                              /////

     The sessions with The Fiery Elder wasn’t helping at all.

     The blurry scene flipped over and you could feel the hard pang on your stomach ─ as if someone carried you like a sack of potatoes ─, pain increasing as said someone trotted, jerking your body up and down and making the trip too uncomfortable. The next thing you distinguished was some kind of fabric falling over your head, muffling all the sounds around and rustling on your ears, prompting you to shake your head eagerly to drop it.

      The first thing you noticed when the fabric fell to the ground was the casting glows on everyone’s blurred faces ─ a stunning dance that distracted you for a brief moment, drawing you to roam your eyes around to discover its source. The second thing that got to your senses was the increasing heat that emanated at your back, enticing you to turn around, and the burning feeling that hit your cheeks disturbed you.

     But not as much as what you saw.

     The nameless figure was consumed by the flames right before your eyes, and you could swear she looked right into them before shouting her lungs out ─ the most vivid sound you ever heard. The screech seemed to engrave itself on the back of your mind; the contradictory effect that it had with the stunning flames overwhelming you to the point you felt your soul getting out of your body before it struck back to you.

       The screech that slipped from your lips morphed into hers.

     You shoot your torso up ─ gasping for air as if your life depended on it, chest going up and down with the heavy breathing ─, eyes roaming around the place bewildered, trying to make sense out of the wall right before your eyes instead of the burning flames. You blinked rapidly, taking a few seconds to realize that the intense noise that filled your ears right now had nothing to do with the crowd but with the constant slamming of the windows and the door caused by the boisterous wind.      

      Chan stormed in, eyes darting around the place and hands raised to protect himself from the random objects that flew in every direction, crashing on the walls with loud thuds that startled you even more. You met his eyes for a second, and he must have noticed the horror in them because he rushed in your way, hunching his shoulders to avoid being hit, while you returned your gaze to the gale forming inside your house.

      “What happened?! Are you okay?” He yelled for you to listen, hands wandering around your arms, groping them to look for bruises “I heard you scream… What happened?” He shouted when you didn’t answer him, eyes too focused on the ruckus caused by the wind. You felt the mattress sinking, his body beside yours as he cupped your face, guiding your gaze to meet his; eyes diving deep into yours “Y/N? Answer me, Sweetheart… What happened? Are you okay?” He asked softly.

     This time you actually focused on him and the twirling wind dissolved into a calm breeze just like magic; the silence that followed it quickly broken by all the clattering and thudding from the objects falling to the ground. You ignored it all, focusing on his eyes and your uneven breathing, letting yourself get lost in his gaze for a moment before your eyes darted to his lips ─ his pink and plump lips that broke apart to gasp ─, returning to dive into his eyes once more.

      He tried to focus his eyes on yours but you noticed how he darted them to your lips twice before he bit his own, blushing profusely and adjusting his hold on your face with trembling fingers; head tilting slightly to the side as if he would lean for a kiss. You felt your heart race into your chest, ramming into your ears as you withheld your breath, spreading some kind of warmth all over your body as you felt yourself blush, all flustered and expectant.

    The moment was broken by a sudden burst that made you yelp, hundreds of sparks crackling from the ground to form a shaky translucent figure in the middle of your room: The Fiery Elder’s concerned spiritual projection, looking around the place with a frown before finally fixing her gaze on you. The way that Chan jerked away from you ─ stumbling backward, trying to straighten himself before bowing respectfully ─was nothing but comical, and you had to fight back a chuckle as you got out the bed, bowing to the elder.

    She raised her hands to dismiss the formalities.

    “W-We didn’t do anything!” He stuttered, floundering his hands in the air anxiously “I heard her scream and rushed to see what happened! That was it! I wasn’t going to ki—“ The Elder snorted, interrupting his rambling, shaking her head in amusement.

    “Calm down, son” She arched her brow, eyes glinting playfully “I sensed something wrong… I was just checking on her” She looked around the place, studying the untidy floor for a bit, humming “Was it your powers?” She asked, and you nodded when her eyes laid on you again “This kind of manifestation is not a good sign… We’ll need to fix it” She sighed, glancing at him.

    “Yes, Ma’am?” He asked promptly, crossing his arms behind his back and fixing his gaze on her, pursing his lips.

    “Bring her to me, Mr.Bang” She requested, looking at the ceiling “Vivi, can you please tidy this up? We don’t need Wiha whining when she returns from the village” She added, getting the vines to slowly untangle from the beam “Also…” She smirked, figure beginning to flicker “Try to keep your hands to yourself, son… It’s just a few months” the mocking grin was followed by the crackling sparks consuming her projection before bursting in the air, letting both of you alone once again.

                                                                          ////

    The spear crossed the air like an arrow, sticking in the trunk behind you.

    You widened your eyes ─ body pressed against the tree as if you tried hard enough you could pass through it ─, knees giving away as soon as the beast hissed, as startled as you, running away instead of attacking as it intended to do just a few seconds earlier. You slid down, trembling and groping the trunk as you sat down on the grass, raising your glossy eyes to meet an upset Chan striding in your way.

     He gripped the spear filled with anger, yanking it out and throwing you a look.

     “What the hell?” He fumed, clenching his jaw before scoffing “Do you think it’s a game or something?! You could have died, Y/N!” He yelled, sticking the shaft to the ground “What were you thinking?!” He asked in a demanding tone, eyes burying into yours.

      You shrunk under his tone, gripping the grass and lowering your head, ashamed.

     “I heard someone…” You muttered, risking a glance at him “They called my name” You added, bringing your knees closer to you “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” You felt the tears coming to your eyes, the sudden faltering on your tone getting his attention immediately.

    “Don’t cry” He sighed, letting his shoulders relax and squatting next to you, hand trailing to your jaw, inviting you to look at him “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that” He brushed your cheek, letting go of your face and supporting himself on the shaft “You can’t get distracted like this on a hunt, Y/N… It could have costed your life” He took a deep breath, exhaling heavily.

    “I know… You’re right, I should be more careful” You agreed, sighing and adjusting yourself to get up. He was faster than you, standing up and extending his hand for you to take, helping you out “My Grandma would kill you if I died on your watch” You chuckled, and he snorted nodding.

    “My mother would have killed me on spot” He joked “The first lesson to the new witch would be murdering young handsome warlocks out there” He added, smirking when you shot your head to look at him, arching your brows in amusement.

    “Murdering a young handsome warlock?” You scoffed, playfully shocked “You’re flattering yourself again…” You shook your head in feigned disappointment, mocking him.

    “I’m just saying what is inside your mind” He teased, and you brought your hands to your hips, letting out an offended gasp “What? Your head is filled with me” He sang, poking your forehead fondly.

   “Well, I wasn’t the one trying to kiss you earlier” You reminded him, grimacing.

   “You weren’t stopping me either” He retorted, smirking smugly at you, making you roll your eyes and pull your hand away from his grip.

   “Stop flirting with me, Channie” You poked his cheek “I’ll be eighteen soon enough” You teased, and this time he blushed, looking away “Oh? I see… Is Channie’s head all filled with me?” You mocked, poking his cheek again, laughing when he didn’t retort you “Looks like the young handsome warlock is whipped” You hummed, smirking.

    “You’re the one to talk” He chuckled, tilting his head and taking your chin between his fingers, leaning closer to your face. You felt your face burning, looking everywhere but his eyes before he scoffed, prompting you to look at him “Just a few more months before I can finally—“ He couldn’t finish his sentence, knocked to the ground suddenly by someone crashing into him. The violent impact startled you but the yelling followed right after it and the grip on your wrist, yanking your body, was even more baffling.

    “Run!” The stranger demanded, sprinting with you.

    You followed his call, too surprised to think straight, sprinting with him for a few seconds before the realization hit you. You looked back, glancing over your shoulder to see an enraged Chan tugging his spear from the ground and preparing to shoot it your way, cold-steel eyes focused on the guy that dragged you with him. You returned your gaze to the stranger, his warm brown hair flew in the wind, whipping his cheeks, and you caught a glimpse of his widened dark eyes and red lips, a frown on his face suggesting that he was as scared as you.

    Kim Seungmin.

    “Wait!” You yelled, trying to dig your feet on the ground but his fear was enough to give him the strength to haul you “Stop!” You tried again, struggling to overpower him before the sudden sharp noise got to your ears. You didn’t even have the time to register what it meant, eyes snapping to the spear crossing the air as fast as an arrow, curving just enough to miss you and impale Seungmin’s head “Watch out!” You shouted, jolting your body to take away his balance, throwing both of you to the ground.

     The next few moments were a blurry mess.

     You could tell you were rolling down a knoll; body jerking on the ground as the bunch of confusing and spinning images unraveled right in front of your eyes, making you dizzy and nauseous. A mix of muffled sounds reached your ears ─ partly from the leaves you crunched and partly from the rustling fabrics of your clothes ─ along with your hissing as the roots and shrubs in the way hit you both mercilessly, bruising your skin. The bewildering moment fogged your senses but you could still feel Seungmin’s arms wrapping around you, trying to protect you from further bruising.

     “Ouch!” You whined as you hit something particularly hard in the way, feeling that, finally, the speed seemed to decrease by the second. You raised your eyes, catching a glimpse of a focused Chan running your way, spear on hand, and prepared to throw it once more, studying the best opportunity.

     The opportunity he was looking for came sooner than you wanted, the rolling ceasing with Seungmin’s body hovering over yours, not giving you enough time to think of a plan. The mysterious boy tried to lift his body, bracing himself on the ground, unaware of the danger that he got himself into, checking to see if you were okay. You sensed the spear getting closer ─ enchanted to go straight to Seungmin ─, and before you could even think of what you were doing, your hand shot to the air while you embraced the boy, trying to protect him mindlessly.

     “No!” You shouted, a blast of air coming out of your hands, formed right from the thin air that surrounded you, projecting the spear away. You felt the boy tensing up, glancing at him with wide eyes as his head snapped to the side to verify if he wasn’t seeing things. He let his mouth fall agape, eyes landing on the spear before slowly trailing to you, terrified.

    “A-A witch?!” He stuttered, jerking away “Holy –“ He rolled to the side, getting away from you, trying to get up but stumbling over himself. You stood up, hands rose so he could see that you were harmless, cautiously stepping ahead to get closer to him “Don’t come near me!” He shouted, grabbing a random stick on the ground to threaten you, wobbling it in the air.

    “This is ridiculous…” Chan sighed, utterly done with the situation, flickering his hand to jolt the stick out of Seungmin’s hands, letting the boy flabbergasted, blinking repeatedly as he tried to understand what had just happened.

   “H-Holy cow…” He paled, one hand shooting to his mouth as the other rested on his stomach “H-He… He’s a witch… Holy mother of God” He gagged like he was about to vomit, a nauseous expression taking over his features “I didn’t mean to upset you guys! I-I thought he was harassing you... I-I mean! I didn’t mean to interrupt your… Mating?” He floundered, eyes darting between you as he tried to explain himself.

     “We’re not mating!” You interjected, offended “Look, Seungmin –“

     “How do you know my name?!” He asked high pitched, voice wavering like a string, hand trailing to his heart as his lips quivered in utter shock, and eyes as big as saucers fixed on you filled with horror. The way he wobbled ─ as if he was about to pass out ─ amused you, and you had to fight back a smile as you watched him shaking in fear, pinching the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes for a moment to concentrate.

    “Magic” Chan mocked, flourishing his fingers in the air as a joke, and you burst out laughing, pushing him lightly to scold him “Are all of you dumb like this?” He asked in contempt, and Seungmin didn’t find the courage to answer him right now, so he just stood frozen there “Just like I thought…” He sighed, rolling his eyes.

      “Seungmin, you can’t tell anyone about this” You warned, getting closer to him “Do you understand it?” You asked to make sure, looking deep into his eyes and squeezing his shoulder, tugging him out of his thoughts.

     “Wait! What?!” Chan blurted out, surprised “He won’t say anything because we will kill him, Y/N” Chan declared, confused by your phrasing, getting a questioning look from you; arched brows challenging him silently “He knows” He pointed out, raising his hand to evoke the spear from the ground, not disturbed by your outrage.

     “No, please!” The boy begged, tearing up “Please, spare me! I won’t tell it! I swear!” He kneeled on the ground, hands clasping together in a desperate plead as tears streamed down his face.

    “You can bet I’ll spear you” He spat, raising his weapon.

    “Wait, you can’t just kill him like this!” You protested, rushing to be in front of the boy, arms wide open “Grandma saved him yesterday! He’s not supposed to die yet!” You defended, and this information seemed to perk up the boy, who shot his head up, staring at you dumbfounded before getting up, grabbing your arms excitedly.

    “I knew it wasn’t a dream!” He chirped, hands sliding to your hands to hold them “You sang to me, didn’t you?” He asked flustered, squeezing your hands “The River is flowing… Flowing and growing…” he chanted in a hurried tone, eyes shining as he looked at you “I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to offend you!” He widened his eyes, realizing his mistakes, and you shrugged him off, chuckling.

     “That’s okay” You reassured him, squeezing his hands back “Now you know we won’t hurt you—“

     “We?” Chan asked riled up “There is no way I will let him out alive” He said, grabbing your hands and tugging them away, a frown on his face as he glared at the boy “I don’t trust you” He hissed, pointing the sharp metal to Seungmin’s throat, prompting him to gulp down; the boy’s eyes darting to you before focusing on Chan again, cold sweat running down his face.

     “He won’t betray us! He owes us his life” You assured him, gripping his wrist “I know he won’t say it! I just know it! I can feel it in my guts!” You continued eagerly, and for a split of a second Chan glanced at you, wondering.

      “You’re being naive… We can’t trust him” He decided, returning his gaze to the boy.

      “The Wind itself guided me to him!” You insisted “He is the reason why my powers woke up! Nature wants him alive! Please, listen to me” You pleaded, and he scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

     “This is ridiculous, you can’t know that for sure” He grumbled, frowning but loosening his grip on the spear “He’s just a human… Nature doesn’t have anything to do with him” He concluded, tightening his grip again, pressing the weapon against the tender skin.

     As if on cue, the wind blew through the trees.

     “It’s just a coincidence” He muttered, averting his eyes to the twirling breeze that swept the leaves around “Also, if we were letting him go alive, we would have to take away his memories again and neither of us knows how to do this…” He pointed out “The bare minimum would be taking him to Yerkir” He stated matter-of-factly.

     “You know far too well that she would kill him!” You accused, pointing your finger at him.

     “If we let him go alive with his memories, she’ll kill us” He reminded you, and you rolled your eyes at him.

     “Listen to me just this once, Chan” You pleaded, cupping his cheek to guide his eyes to meet yours “You are connected to Nature… You have wind running through your veins… Please, make an effort! I know you can listen to it too” You continued, and he sighed under your touch, looking at you in defeat.

      “I can’t believe you’re making me consider it” He complained, retracting his spear from his throat and inhaling deeply before closing his eyes, exhaling slowly. The silence fell upon you three as he took deep breathes ─ a blank expression on his face, as if he was meditating ─ before he extended his hand to touch Seungmin’s face “What the—“ He shot his eyes open, gasping as he looked flabbergasted at the boy, hand jolting away.

     “What? What is it?” You asked curiously, and he threw you a quick look before clearing his throat and fixing himself, hand combing his hair nervously.

     “He’s fine… You can go, mate” He mumbled, nodding to the wood’s entrance. The boy frowned, confused, glancing at you before returning his gaze to him questioningly “What are you waiting for? Just go” Chan growled, and the boy’s curiosity seemed to fade away immediately, prompting him to walk in your way.

     “Thank you so much” He said as he grabbed your hands again, looking too deeply into your eyes for Chan’s taste “I owe you my life” He kissed the back of your hand, making you giggle “Again” He added, chuckling before kissing your knuckles.

     “Stop flirting and go away” Chan rolled his eyes, throwing him a disgusted look.

     The boy trotted away, turning back a few times to wave at you ─ which made the warlock scoff each time, obviously filled with jealousy ─, to what you gestured back, smiling to him. You chuckled and arched your brows, studying how Chan seemed to relax when Seungmin couldn’t be seen anymore, letting out a puff of air that he didn’t realize he was holding in. You nudged him before grinning teasingly, watching as he pursed his lips, averting his eyes from you and resuming his hunting, ignoring the way you looked at him.

     “Jealous, aren’t we?” You asked playfully but he didn’t answer “Hey, why are you acting like this? He’s fine! You saw it yourself! He won’t tell anyone and hopefully, he won’t come back to the woods” You whined, and he sighed, stopping in his tracks.

     “What if I am?” He muttered under his breath, and you tilted your head in confusion “What if I’m jealous?” He clarified, looking directly at you “Why didn’t you tell me that you guys were synchronized?” He asked displeased, averting his eyes ashamed “I’ve heard of it before but… I never met one myself” He sighed, hurt painting his face.

     “What are you talking about?” You asked, bewildered, looking at him as if he had grown a third head.

     “You’re synchronized…” He repeated himself, looking away “There is no way that he would betray you. Ever. Simply meant to be into each other’s life” He mumbled unwillingly.

     “Like a soulmate?!” You blurted out, eyes widened in shock.

     “Yeah…” He bit his lip, uncomfortable “Something like this”

                                                            /////

      The wind brought more voices.

      You stopped your motions for a moment, the knife buried into the meat as you deboned your hunt, wiping your sweat away with your hand and looking around to make sure that no one was talking near you. The indecipherable whisper seemed to increase ─ thousands of voices sounded in your mind at the same time, blabbering in your ears, echoing like leaves rustling in the woods ─ until they morphed into clearer patterns, the voices sounding incredibly clean inside your head.

    She met the boy again, The first understandable sentence echoed like sand falling in an hourglass. Don’t blame me when everything goes down the drain!

    The Earthy Elder.

    It will all be fine… The second voice sounded like a flowing river, calm and determined. Neither of them knows anything.

    Your Grandma.

    I had to tone down her energy again, Wiha… The crackling voice was warm and worried, a warning hanging in the air. I can’t push it away forever and you know it… Her powers got out of control today.

   The Fiery Elder.

    The way her power is manifesting is a bad sign, The soft twinkling voice agreed. If we keep her memories away like this, her powers will keep unstable… At least with a spell of that level.

    The Airy Elder.

     You frowned, pursing your lips as you tried to make sense of their conversation. The Elders were gathering on the tent right now, supposedly discussing the failed attempt to bring back a witch they sensed earlier in the village… The talking didn’t seem to be about it, though. Was it too much of a coincidence that the missing witch met some boy again and had lost control of her powers on the same day as you? The Fiery Elder herself had just said she helped to control this witch’s energy and she wasn’t even in the mission….

   There was no way they weren’t talking about you.

    If Yerkir wasn’t an asshole, she would fix my spell! Your Grandma hissed. You’re egoistic! You know far too well that it is dangerous for her to remind things! Especially since we’ve been lying to her all her life!

  They’ve been lying to you?

    We?! I didn’t want to lie to her! It’s all on you! It’s not my fault you were a coward! Yerkir barked. The girl should know her mother was murdered! You shouldn’t have taken this memory away from her!

   You let your shoulders drop, widening your eyes as you snapped your head to the Tent; mouth falling agape as you registered what they just said. The memory spell… She had used it on you! She had taken away your memories… She has been lying to you all this time… Your mother didn’t die giving birth to you.

   She was murdered.

   She wasn’t prepared! Your Grandmother yelled, and you could even hear the scorn on Yerkir’s voice when she scoffed. And she’s not prepared yet! We can’t have her wanting revenge! She’ll expose us!

   Really? Because I think you are too scared she can hate you now! Yerkir retorted. Her mother was a human, Wiha! They shouldn’t have killed her! She has the right to hate them all! You should hate them too!

   Your mother was a what now?

   You didn’t even know how you got so fast to the tent ─ gale following you closely as Yerkir’s voice hissed a “She’s coming! Everybody quiet!” ─, arms fluttering the entrance’s fabric before you shoot all of them a betrayed look, eyes filled with rage. The wind turmoiled into the place, sending chairs and blankets in a twirl in the air, startling The Elders for a second before Caeli forced everything down with her powers.

   The Elders stood up, attentive to your outburst but clueless, watching as you stormed in to point accusingly to Wiha. You heard some members mumbling behind you, close enough for you to feel them with your energy but not loud enough for you to understand what they were saying, though it was clear they were curious and puzzled.

  The Watery Elder held your wrist, confused by why you were acting like this, looking into your eyes in search of answers that she couldn’t find. You looked back straight at her, eyes watering as you felt your face twisting in a pained expression that baffled her for a moment before you finally decided to speak up.

   “You lied to me!” You growled, tears streaming down your face.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sweetheart” She said calmly, fueling your rage. You yanked your hand away from hers, shooting her a glare before looking to the other elders, lips twisted down in a displeased frown “You should calm down” She suggested, glancing at the others so they could try to soothe you with their magic.  

  “I heard all of it! All of you! You’ve been lying to me my whole life!” You bawled, pressing your eyes for a moment to try and stop the tears “When would you tell me?! When would you say to me that my mother wasn’t a witch?!” You inquired, demanded her to answer you, and she let her mouth fall agape, taken aback by your question.

  “It’s not what it sounds like” She guaranteed, and you scoffed, grimacing at her “You’re a witch, it’s just that—“

   “I don’t want to hear it!” You growled, “I don’t want to hear your lies anymore!” You wailed, turning away “What about the second lesson?!” You asked, stopping in your tracks, face twisted in hurt as she tried to mumble something “What is the second lesson, Wiha?!” You yelled, turning to look at her, catching a glimpse of her disappointment as her name came out of your lips.

   “You’re home here… You don’t know the whole story” She said in a pleading tone, trying to get closer to you “Let me show you… I will give it all back to you” She promised, “You don’t understand…” She continued in a small voice, and you let out a humorlessly chuckle.

   “There is no way I can understand you… I don’t belong here, right?” You smiled bitterly “     Stick to your kind… There is where you will be welcomed and truly loved” You recited, lowering your head for a second “What is it? Something you made up after her death? Something you made up because you were afraid that someone like me would expose you all?” You snarled, resuming your striding.

   “You’re not a human! She wasn’t a witch but—“ She reached for you, grabbing your shoulder and forcefully turning you around to meet her, eager eyes looking to explain everything to you.

   You yanked your arms away from her, the sudden whipping motion blasting air out of nowhere and projecting her body back, knocking her down. The following scenes seemed to run in slow motion, and you stood there dumbfounded as you watched her head hit violently against the stump before thirteen heads snapped at you. The weight of twenty-six eyes filled with fear and perplexity crashed you as you noticed how her limbs went limp, neck wobbling before letting her head fall to the side, unconscious.

   “What is going on?” The Earthy Elder gave some lost steps forward, looking around in confusion, rubbing her feet in the ground and digging them a little, a frown on her face indicating that she couldn’t see anything; probably blinded by the magic running free out of you, “What happened?! Who was it?” She asked again when she met no answers, voice trembling as if she was about to cry.

    The shock gave away to shame.

    The shame gave away to disgus

     The disgust prompted you to run.

      And run you did.  

     You ran for dear life, hoping that somehow you could run away from yourself too as you left the haven behind you to go into the woods. The gale followed you closely, almost morphing into a storm as the sky seemed to darken above you, throwing shadows ahead that suddenly confused you to the core. The so well-known path felt like a maze right now ─ trees seemed to jumble together and the soil seemed too soft for your feet, dragging you as you tried to make your way through it ─, and you were quite sure it didn’t have anything to do with your teary eyes.

    The woods were being enchanted.

    I can’t see anything! I can’t track her! Yekir yelled to the four winds, clearly frustrated, and you could almost hear the way she punched the ground out of frustration, letting go of her pain on each blow.

   Yerkir! Caeli! Enchant it all! Boys! Track her down and bring her back! Isati ordered around like a general, burning in despair. Everyone else into the tent! Now! I need help with Wiha… She finished with a whisper, and you gulped down, filled with guilt, returning your focus to the woods ahead of you.

   The wind suddenly shifted to the left, as if it was calling you there, guiding you through all the magic that fogged your senses, and you followed it gladly, grateful though disoriented. You ignored how everything seemed to drag you down, to bind you and force you to stay. You ignored how you could listen to the boys ─ Chan, Minho, and Changbin ─ screaming your name from somewhere behind you, close enough for you to be sure that it wasn’t the wind anymore. You ignored how your heart faltered when you finally reached the entrance, the village right before your eyes.

     It was beautiful.

      “Y/N!” You closed your eyes, pursing your lips down as you breathed deeply “Y/N, please… Come with me” You turned back to see Chan getting closer to you, eyes so desperate that you almost agreed with him without thinking “They’re waiting for you… I am waiting for you… Please” He pleaded, tearing up.

     “I don’t belong there” You smiled sadly, getting closer to him to cup his cheek, making him lean for your touch “We don’t belong together, Chan” You muttered, fighting back your tears.

     “I love you” He blurted, holding your face with his hands, almost too afraid to touch you, as if he could just shatter you to pieces “I love you… I know we can’t be together yet but it will be just a few months… You will be eighteen and it will be alright… We can be together…” He mumbled, tears rolling down his face as he tried to convince you.

     You were sure that his powers showed he couldn’t.

     “We can run away!” He offered, voice trembling with despair, thin and fragile in the air “I’ll run away with you… We’ll be fine… I—“ He choked on his tears, and you caressed his cheek slowly, lovingly.

     “Stick to your kind, Chan…” You rested your forehead on his, sighing “I can’t truly love you… You said for yourself, didn’t you? I have a soulmate… You were right… We’re not meant to be after all” You grazed your thumb over his bottom lip, diving into his eyes “I’m sorry” You brushed your lips on his, blowing into his mouth before he fell to the ground, asleep.

     Not a real spell but it would have to do for now.

      You turned your back to him, looking up to the dark sky above you; the night already casting your shadows around, prompting people to get inside their houses. You inhaled deeply before exhaling slowly, trying to get all your feelings out of your chest. You resumed your running, following the wind and sliding through the houses, being as stealthy as you could even if you didn’t really think that people were still awake by this time.

      The wind suddenly stopped ─ right in front of a small house where a boy held a lamp right before his face, the flames dancing around and casting some lights on him, revealing a blurry figure that you knew to be Seungmin ─, so you just knocked on the door, expectant, waiting for a few moments before the confused boy opened his door to meet you with startled eyes.

      “What are you doing here?” He asked perplexed, studying you from head to toe.

       “I need a favor” You confessed.

       It was time for him to pay his debts.            

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[terminalchaos]

Hiya!

I thought for my second post, I’d do a bit about my symptoms and what lead me to getting my diagnosis. Obviously it’s different for everyone, and I got extremely lucky. So bare that in mind! Warning: I get a bit sweary in this one. I have a lot of feelings about it.

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The city I live in, Melbourne, is officially the most locked-down city in the world in relation to COVID-19. After what has been a fucking exhausting few years, we are well and truly over it at this point. But what I didn’t realise going into the first lockdown (last year at some point) was how much I would suffer, and how badly this whole crock of absolute bullshite would affect me. 

Last year in the first lockdown, I was a full-time university student, working as a medical transcriber and at an acting studio, facilitating workshops with directors, casting directors, etc. This was fine for about 2 weeks. Then everything started to fall apart, very slowly. I stopped going to my lectures and my tutorials. I started asking for extensions, more and more often. I had always been a last-minute student, starting essays on the day they were due, with about 3-5 hours set aside to sit and do the whole thing. Throughout school I do not think I did a single bit of homework on time, unless it was something I genuinely wanted to do. I often just didn’t do it, copped a detention, and moved on with my life. 

This is extremely aggravating to me now, seeing that I was around hundreds of educated adults, and. Not. A. Single. Fucking. One. Either knew I was displaying symptoms of ADHD, or cared enough to try and help me. I don’t know what’s worse. It was simply punish the bad student, who never did their homework, and never studied, and never revised, and always forgot the in-class tests, and always struggled with remembering things. So, I adjusted. I still never did my homework, but I stopped caring about classes. I was rude to teachers who were rude to me, and would snap back at any teacher who didn’t show me the same respect they expected from me.

I was so, so angry.

It was completely unfair. I didn’t know why I was the only person who couldn’t do these basic things, like getting my planner signed after every week. So I resorted back to the things society told me I was: stupid, incompetent, lazy. That lead to a not great mindset, which lasted from the ages of about 13-20. I still struggle with a lot of these things, but in different contexts.

Anyway, the ways I coped at school started to fall apart at university. And they really fell apart with lockdown. Being in my house for 23 hours a day, with incredibly stringent rules, meant my ADHD just pent up. I couldn’t do anything. Not even things I wanted to do, and the pressure of deadlines weren’t enough to prod my brain into action. I just couldn’t do anything.

I figured this wasn’t normal, and one day I saw a post on ADHD in AFAB people. I read through it, and it resonated with me. Odd, I don’t have excess energy. In fact, I would oversleep constantly. Often, 12 hours a night wasn’t enough for me, and I would fall asleep at 2am. Caffeine would put me to sleep! My partner at the time would be on my back about how much I slept, constantly. He didn’t understand my ADHD presentation, which is reasonable, because I didn’t either. He would get irritated because the second I got any money, I wouldn’t save it. I’d buy things. I’d constantly put on weight because I would buy sugary snacks whenever I could. I would say yes to anything that would give me a second of joy.

When you have ADHD, your dopamine is running on empty. So everything you do is to try and boost your dopamine. It leads to a lot of behaviours that people see as irresponsible and reckless, because they can be. But it’s because our brains are screaming out for dopamine hits, however big, however long lasting. Now I know this, and can stop myself before doing these dopamine-seeking behaviours (the medications obviously help).

Reading this post about ADHD, I didn’t immediately do a deep-dive of research. I forgot about it for a while. I remembered my mum telling me when I was young that I “probably had some form of ADD, or something like that” after I spilled my guts about something that had been on my mind. I would start talking, and not stop. More and more of these little pieces started clicking. Then, I started doing actual research. I can’t remember details because, y’know, ADHD. But these symptoms started making sense. Not being able to control my impulses? Check. I am obscenely impulsive. Not being able to keep relationships? Check. Half of my friends from school in England I wanted to keep in contact with, I had completely deserted. Memory issues, not being able to keep a routine, missing deadlines, having slightly “kooky” interests, hyperfocusing, the paralysis I would feel when there were so many things to do, and I just sat in bed for 6 hours doing nothing, not eating.

I sat and cried on my partner’s bed while he comforted me. I cried over the fact I had an answer. I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t lazy. 

From there, I pursued a diagnosis. This was tricky: I tried three different clinics (one of which lost my referral 4 times! Shout out Alfred Road Clinic lol), and emailed different ADHD psychiatrists like crazy. I got no responses.

6 months after my initial referral, I cried to my family about how frustrating it was, knowing what was wrong with me, knowing there was treatment, but not being able to access it. Imagine how frustrating it is not being able to do anything, knowing there is a way to help, but not having access to it.

Eventually, a few strings were tugged, and I got an appointment in June 2021. July 2021, I was put on Vyvanse 30mg by my psychiatrist.

The first day I took my medication, I sat and did my Korean homework for 2 hours. Then, I sat and cried. I have never concentrated for 2 hours on demand like that.

I was furious, relieved, and incredibly sad for the 23 years I had lost, feeling like my body and mind were two separate entities. Having all these things I wanted to achieve, and achieving none. I learnt so many things were coping mechanisms I used to balance my ADHD brain: trying to be early as possible to avoid being late. Notes on my phone reminding me of everything I need to do. Double checking things three, four times.

All these things I wanted to try, and having tried none. Not being able to exercise as it made me sleepy and I never felt the benefits. Finding certain things unbearable for no reason. Getting in trouble for stupid things just because I couldn’t convince myself the dopamine payoff would be worth it. Having built nearly no skills as a young person because I had no direction. This was compounded by my want to achieve, but feeling that I couldn’t do anything, because this invisible barrier kept me in a snowglobe of my own shame and frustration. All because my stupid fucking brain was too busy trying to get hits of dopamine whenever and wherever it could. 

I thought about how my A Level results would have been different if any of the adults in my life had clocked this when I was 13.

I thought about the things I could have achieved if anyone had thought to investigate just a little further.

I still cry about these things. The me that was prevented from living by ADHD taunts me from another dimension. Cow.

I needed to start to get to know myself without the dopamine addict brain. What I want to achieve, what was now possible, and how to avoid feeling like I will never achieve anything I want to. My main goal is to start having 3 meals a day, something I have never, ever been able to sustainably do. I’m still working on this.

[shadowsong26fic]

Some Stuff

Not a proper Coming Attractions post, that’ll come out on the first Monday of the month as always, but...a more general update on some projects (and also possibly looking for input?)

Basically, I’ve accepted the inevitable, that I’ve fallen back into ATLA in a big way. I haven’t actually rewatched the series yet, because my roommate was doing so and I kept popping in and out and I didn’t want to confuse myself by trying to do a straight rewatch while she was doing hers, but I have reread a bunch of old fanfic/RP logs, and have some plots I kind of want to work with again? Either as fulltext or as an AU Outline. Behind the cut are some more details, as well as seeking Opinions on which, if any, I should actually work on.

I am also Determined to not fall out of SW as this is going on, lol. More details about that behind the cut, as well.

(Also, I’ve talked about some of the stuff listed here on my writing discord, which feel free to come stop by and hang out! It’s basically an extension of this tumblr, only a little more interactive. Find us here!)

Star Wars Stuff:

I plan to take next weekend to bang out at minimum the next Precipice chapter, and possibly the next two (though I’ll stagger posting if I do manage to get both done). And then try and give myself a more active schedule to get the next parts of the series out.

I’m also working on a dragonshifters AU, which I’m enjoying a lot. I think OFLAM may be relegated to the back burner for a while, though I’ll probably kick it up again if I end up doing it for SWBB next year (unless I tease out enough of a Plot for dragonshifters to do that instead, lol). I’ve talked about some of the worldbuilding on my writing discord, too.

I also still owe some meme responses from way back, which I do intend to get to at some point I promise <.<

And I haven’t forgotten some other extant projects--Devoted!verse, the Ventress outline, Bail Unfucks the Timeline, Distaff, etc.--but they’re pretty back-burnered for the time being. If something Sparks in any of those, I’ll probably dive into it, but for now I’m not actively working on them in the way I am on dragonshifters and Precipice.

AtLA Stuff:

So, there’s sort of...four or five projects spinning around in my head right now, lol. One of which, if I do it, would not work as an outline so it would be fulltext. It’s canon-compliant, for the most part.

...well, I should interrupt myself here to say the following: I haven’t read a lot of the comics or tie-in novels, and my familiarity with more recent Word of God is limited. I’m basically operating out of canon defined as “it’s in the original show or WoG I’m specifically aware of, drawing in stuff from other sources as it appeals to me but otherwise ignoring it.” Where WoG contradicts itself (i.e., the timeline for Lu Ten’s death),I go with whatever answer I prefer.

In terms of worldbuilding details added in Korra--ehhhhh, it’s sort of held a little higher than the comics, etc. (in that, if I remember it, unless it Josses something I really, really liked/was foundational to something I’m doing, I’ll probably include it); but most likely whatever I’m doing will go AU enough during the first series for a lot of the other detail work/character-specific stuff to not matter.

Anyway! Back to the fun stuff.

There’s one story I’m playing with that’s not going to work as an AU outline. Depending on exactly what I focus on, there’s a couple different fulltext fics buried in it, and I’m not sure which I’d work on (or if I’d braid the two of them together). Basically, it deals with the siege of Ba Sing Se and Lu Ten’s death, and some of the fallout from that, focusing on an OC of mine and her daughter. I found a short fic I wrote for a challenge back in the day that ties into this concept, which is at the very end of this post. If I work on this, I’d probably change the names of the two relevant OCs and possibly how she gets her memory back (it was written specifically for a “what happened in the rest of the world when Zhao captured Tui” challenge; guess how many of them were Hama-related), but. Anyway, building on either the Siege portion of the story (which has a lot of West Side Story on its soundtrack in my head lol), or focusing on what she does after she remembers him. Or both! Both is also good.

The rest of the options are mostly Zuko-centric canon-divergence fics.

First option, Airbender!Zuko. This occurs because The Spirits Said So; he’s gotten very good at fake firebending using airbending. Probably to the point where he’s so deep in denial that he can’t even see the pyramids anymore, to stretch that analogy to the breaking point, lol. Basically, not much changes until the north pole, but there’s some ways for it to go from there...

Second option, Avatar Zuko. This one has been floating around in my head more lately. Reading old RP logs, my partner and I played through a bunch of different variants on how this all worked, but the one in my head right now is basically--a few months before he’s banished, they’re at Ember Island or something and he’s out on the ocean/fishing or something. Sudden storm, he stops the boat from capsizing through panicked waterbending. No other witnesses, for whatever reason. He initially decides he imagined it, something else must have happened. Except then, when he’s in the palace infirmary after getting his face melted, he does it again. At that point, he basically decides that his options here are “get turned into a weapon and kill A Lot of people, or get disappeared into some dark hole somewhere where I can’t cause any problems.” Neither of those is particularly attractive, so he decides to run away. He doesn’t know what his long-term plan is at this moment--if he’ll use the comet to regain favor/save his nation based on the context he’s operating under right now, or do something else. But he has about three and a half years before then. He figures he’ll spend a year at the Western Air Temple, looking for texts/mosaics/something to get him at least vaguely airbending; then go to the North Pole to learn waterbending for a year, then spend a year in the Earth Kingdom to learn earthbending. Planning, for the last two, to present himself as mixed and while he has a lot of his Fire Nation father’s features, he inherited bending from his other parent (or grandparent, when he goes to the North Pole). For those of you familiar with my original fic, this will also include the first iteration of a prominent secondary character from Feredar/The Farglass Cycle. Mostly so Zuko has someone to talk to at the WAT XD. 

Third and fourth options are a bit more nebulous, and both break off during the Ba Sing Se arc. First option, Zuko gets injured during the stampede when Aang moves the zoo (this will probably draw in at least one of my BSS OCs because I am pathologically incapable of not creating OCs, lol). Second option, Zuko leaves his mask behind in Lake Laogai, which means Aang will know he’s in the city. Not sure where either of those would go from that point but there’s some Significant Differences there, lol.

...anyway, that’s where things stand now. Which, if any, are y’all interested in seeing?

As promised, the clip from the Lu Ten story, originally written for a challenge back in...yeesh 2010 XD. Again, this is canon-compliant at least up until Iroh and Zuko arrive in BSS, and I’d possibly change the names and/or how she gets her memories back.

An Wei sat by the window, holding her little girl and watching the sky. Today had been one of Huai's bad days, so An Wei had her hand resting lightly on her daughter's neck, counting her heartbeats. The doctors had told her, back when Huai was a baby and they'd figured out what was wrong with her, to hope for seven years--but only to hope, not to count on them. So An Wei took special care to always, always watch. She never regretted her child, no. Occasionally, she wished she had never met Huai's father, but...well, she couldn't remember much about him, other than the kind golden eyes (false kindness?) that had taken her in so completely during the Siege. She didn't think about him very much. It was too painful--and dangerous. Above and beyond the dangers in thinking about the War That Was No War, her own father had... Well, he hadn't been pleased. She didn't remember the argument, but her uncle wouldn't have brought her to the Lower Ring midwife who had cared for her during her pregnancy if she hadn't needed to hide. Despite all of her vigilance, it was her own heart that skipped a beat when the moonlight filtering in through her window turned an eerie, dull red. She gasped and clutched her daughter a little tighter, praying that Huai would sleep until this went away, so it wouldn't frighten her. That is, assuming it would go away. She shivered and shifted Huai so the little girl was facing away from the window and watched in horror as the bloody moon failed to return to normal. "Please..." she whispered. "Please be normal when she wakes..." As if in response to her desperate pleading, the moon flared silver again after a half hour. But she barely had a moment to relax before it winked out completely. An Wei jumped and stifled a scream. "Don't be afraid of the dark, this'll light your way home." She jumped again. There was no one here in the room with her and Huai, but she could have sworn... The moon blinked back into existence and a pretty girl with long white hair rode in on one of its beams. An Wei stared up at her, still frightened, pulling her daughter away from the girl as best she could. The moon-girl bent down and kissed An Wei's forehead. "Remember now," she murmured, then faded out of sight. ** "Don't be afraid of the dark." He smiles and makes a little light in his palm, carefully transferring it to a bundle of sticks. "This will light your way home." ** She studies the hairpiece he wears in his topknot, turning it over and over in her hands. "There's something you should know about me, too. About my family." ** "We can make this work, Itsu." He's determined, hopeful, his golden eyes shining. "We'll talk to my father. He'll understand. We'll make it work. Meet me here, at the usual time." "I trust you." ** She waits and waits and waits, until long past dark, but he doesn't come. ** She hates speaking with her guardian, but she's scared and has nowhere else to go. "Please, help me," she finishes quietly. He nods. "I'll keep you safe, Highness. You and your child. I promise." ** The light spins around and around and around, and she forgets her name, forgets her lover, and in her place is An Wei, a young woman trained as a scribe, seduced by a nameless Fire soldier, rather than... ** Itsu let out a little sobbing breath. Huai shifted in her arms. "Mommy?" she whispered, still half-asleep. "It's okay, baby, everything's okay. Go back to sleep." "'Kay." Huai closed her golden eyes again and her breathing evened out as much as it ever did. Itsu held her daughter close. Twice over a princess, at the worst possible time, born with a broken heart. No wonder Long Feng hid us so deep.

[to clarify--Itsu is Kuei’s sister. I forget how I set the relative ages, but assuming, as seems to be the case in flashbacks, that Lu Ten is about 10 years older than Zuko, he’d be somewhere between twenty and twenty-two when he died, depending on which date you believe; Kuei is around the same age (possibly a year or two younger?) and Itsu within two years of them.]

#shadowsong26fic #shadowsong writes star wars #shadowsong writes atla #feedback greatly appreciated #miscellania

[therainroguefanfiction]

🎃 Frightful October Act VI, #18 ~ Stranded (Izuku Midoriya)

📑 Table of Contents

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance

Word Count: 4,458

Pairing: Reader x Izuku

World: Boku no Hero Academia

Author’s Note: So um, not sure what the hell happened here lmfao I’ve been writing these out on paper and then typing them on the computer to post. I start writing and just keep going until I feel I’ve found a good stopping point. This single fic was 10 pages long, front AND back. I had to cut so much stuff out and shorten it drastically, and it still ended up being okay 4k words. I don’t know what to say, man lol I hope ya’ll enjoy this!

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“We’re having a school trip tomorrow,” Aizawa announced boredly as he passed out two sheets of stapled paper to each student. On one sheet was a series of four islands and information about each one, while the second sheet was a permission slip. “The Quad-Peak islands have been steeped in mystery for two decades. This all began when four women planned a four day trip to the islands and never returned home.”

A murmur broke out through the class.

Aizawa ignored it, returning to the front of the room. “Recently, four foreign diplomats were out fishing near the islands when the vanishes without a trace. You will be working in pairs to discover what happened to them.”

You hummed thoughtfully as your eyes scanned the paper. ‘Four islands. Four women. Four days. Four diplomats. Four is considered bad luck because it can be pronounced like the word for death. It’s completely baseless, but many people fear the number, so much so that a lot of buildings don’t even have a fourth floor. Is this mere coincidence? Maybe a setup? A test? I need to get some information from Seven about this.’

“Sensei?” Momo raised her hand. “How will our partners be chosen?”

Aizawa didn’t open his eyes as he sat behind his desk. “All Might already chose the pairings. They will be announced before we leave tomorrow.”

Izuku glanced over his shoulder at you, praying to whatever gods he could think of that you were made his partner. He had been crushing hard on you since the day you saved him from a group of thugs trying to rob him. When he came to U.A. and found out that he was in the same class as you, he felt so incredibly lucky and vowed to get closer to you, but you were a loner and he was awkward and shy.

The bell rang and you gathered your things, heading over to class 1-B. Students gave you strange looks as they left the room, but you ignored them, approaching your best friend. Seven glanced up at you, eyebrow raised.

“I got a job for you if you’re interested.”

His lips curled up as he stood, shoving his phone into his pocket. “Can I cover over to your place?”

“‘Course. I’m running low on funds this month so I’m glad you don’t want me to buy dinner this time,” you stepped out of the room, Seven falling in step beside you.

He scoffed. “You spent it all on soda and video games, didn’t you?”

You coughed, turning your head away from him.

With a chuckle, he bumped his shoulder against yours. Seven stood at five-feet-six-inches with blonde hair and rust-colored eyes. The thick square glasses he wore were patterned with a white tiger print.

The two of you didn’t hang out much at school, so as the two of you walked down the hallway, bantering back and forth, the rumor mill at U.A. began to churn. All it took was one person to propose the question, ‘Are they dating?’ before it started to make its rounds around the school. Just like a game of telephone, by the time it reached Izuku, it had been molded into something completely different.

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

As soon as Seven stepped into your apartment, he dropped his bag and tackled the black cat sitting on the couch watching the TV. You sweatdropped as he crushed the cat to his chest, scratching behind his ears and cooing at him.

“Let go of me, you cretin!” The cat in question was your older brother, Shun, whose quirk, ‘Panther’, turned him into a black cat when it manifested. Shun snapped his golden eyes to you. “Control your friend!”

You cleared your throat. “Seven, we have work to do.”

He frowned, not releasing his grip. “What is it?”

“I need you to look up a story,” you explained about the trip and everything Aizawa had told you. You pulled out the permission slip, setting it down on the coffee table. “Can you sign this, Shun?”

Shun wiggled free from the boy’s grasp, his eyes never leaving him as he refused to put his back to the boy. He slapped his paw down onto the slip, angrily. “Why should I? You always let this cretin come here and abuse me!”

“It’s not that bad, Shun,” you commented, quickly looking away when he snapped his glare toward you. “Anyway, Seven provides really valuable information but he won’t help without a little… motivation. Isn’t it your job as my big brother to help me any way you can?”

“Don’t you play the big brother card on me, Y/N!” Shun snapped. “I am not a pet for this cretin’s vain amusement!”

While you and Shun argued back and forth, Seven took out his phone, holding it firmly in his hand. His eyes widened as lines of blue code scrolled by, giving his eyes the appearance of an LED screen. His quirk was ‘Digitizing’. As long as he touched any device connected to the internet, he could quickly search and access any information across the globe. Firewalls and traps were completely useless against him.

“Come on, it’s not like I bring him here every day.”

“Show some respect for your elders!”

“I’ll make you some pan-seared tuna for dinner.”

“Oh my god my mouth is watering just thinking about it – O-Oi, don’t try to bribe me!”

Seven closed his eyes, clearing his throat. “The articles are all real. Furthermore, there have been numerous incidents that have been kept out of the public eye. They were sealed behind some pretty heavy security. The number four was present in every single report.”

Your brow furrowed. “What is the significance of these islands and number four?”

He shrugged. “That’s for you to find out, I guess.”

You glanced at your brother and he sighed, “Hand me a pen.” Groping around your bag, you handed him one. He held it between his two paws and signed his name. “You better be careful. I won’t forgive you if you don’t come home!”

You smiled softly, kneeling down in front of him as you leaned forward on the table. “Don’t worry. I��ll bring you home some fresh-caught fish, okay?”

He huffed, looking away, but the twitch of his ears told you that he was excited about the idea.

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

“Look, there they are!”

The four islands were just in sight across the horizon. They were arranged in a diamond shape, each island representing the four points of the diamond. The ocean spilled into an underwater cavern that was positioned in the center. Each island was huge, expanding in all directions for several miles.

A rickety wooden dock had been built in the sand of the first island. The sand expanded back until it hit the tree line where it changed to dirt. Tall trees lined the edge of the sand, towering high into the sky. The first island gently sloped up out of the water, steadily rising until the fourth island hovered high above the water.

Aizawa waited for everyone to settle. “This is not a vacation, this is a mission. Your job is to locate the diplomats and bring them back safely. This isn’t a competition.” He sent a pointed look to Bakugo who scoffed. Aizawa gave each student an earpiece before assigning them to one of the four islands.

You glanced over at your partner, Izuku. “Ready to go?”

He gave you a hesitant smile, his cheeks warming. “Let’s do it.”

You trudged through the thick sand, feeling it being kicked up as you walked – you had to pause at the tree line to dump it from your boots before continuing. The fourth island was directly across from the first so the two of you headed in a straight line, dodging low hanging branches and thick roots that jutted out from the ground.

After a twenty-minute trek through the trees, you heard feet pounding the ground. Bakugo rushed past you, sending you a grin over his shoulder. He and Hagakure had also been assigned to island four and, of course, he had to be competitive.

Your eyes widened and you yelled for him to stop, but he only moved faster. Cursing, you pushed yourself forward. “Bakugo!”

“Huh?! The fuck are you yell – ” his words were cut short when the ground beneath his feet gave way. He went tumbling over the edge toward the whirlpool in the center of the islands.

You cried his name, diving to the earth. Your hand caught his wrist, but the ground beneath you was giving away and he was too heavy for you to lift. The feeling of falling rushed over you and you used your momentum to kick him. It was just enough for him to grab the ledge, being helped up by Izuku.

Because of the height of the fall, you sank far down into the water, getting trapped in the rushing current. You tried to break free, but it was too strong and it dragged you deep underneath the islands.

Izuku’s eyes scanned the water, waiting for you to resurface. He pressed on the earpiece, but it refused to connect. “Kaa-chan, is your earpiece working?”

The blonde snapped out of his shock and pressed on the earpiece, but his wouldn’t connect either. He shook his head, cursing as he ran a hand through his hair angrily.

Izuku bit his lip, weighing his options. “Kaa-chan, go find Aizawa-sensei. I’m going after Y/N!”

“O-Oi!” But it was too late. Izuku had jumped into the swirling water below.

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

A groan passed your lips, eyes fluttering open. Darkness surrounded you, your wet clothes sticking to your body like glue. Your head throbbed and your body felt like you were encased in ice. It took some effort to sit up and take in your surroundings. ‘Is this a… cave?’ your eyes fell on your partner, half of his body on the rock while the other half was dangling in the water. “Midoriya!”

His face scrunched up as you pulled his body onto land. Green eyes met yours and he sighed in relief. “You’re okay, thank goodness.”

“I am, but what about you?”

“I think so. Nothing is hurting other than my head.”

You tilted your head, curiously. “Why did you jump after me, Midoriya?”

“W-Why?” his cheeks grew warm, a welcome feeling against the coldness he felt.

You smiled softly, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Thank you. When we get out of here, I’ll kiss the other cheek,” you promised, holding your hand out to him. “Let’s see if we can find a way out of this place.”

The circular cave was large, the ceiling towering above you. Half the cave was flooded with water which opened up to a bigger water source. You could try to get out that way, but it was impossible to tell how long the water went on for. If there were no air pockets, you risked drowning. There was also a strong current to consider.

“Y/N-san, over here.”

You approached the greenette, finding a thin beam of light coming from a crack in the wall. Your fingernails dug at the crack and the rock shifted. Izuku put his fingers beside your own and, together, you tugged the black rock away from the wall until it broke free, falling to the ground with a thud. You could hear the sound of water dripping in the background as the smell of moss invaded your nostrils. The path was long and dark, and you had to lean over to avoid hitting your head.

At the end of the path was another crack of light, brighter this time. The two of you pushed the rock as hard as you could and it fell backward with a thud, filling the path with firelight.

The hole opened up to a circular room with three other holes on different sides. In the center of the room was a pile of paper and magazines lit on fire, the flame dancing across the walls. Empty candy wrappers and chip bags littered the floor.

More importantly, three men were pressed against the wall, ready to strike.

You held up your hands in surrender and the man in the middle wiped sweat from his brow with a dirty handkerchief. “You’re the foreign diplomats that went missing a few days ago, right? We were sent here to find you.”

The men exchanged a look, the middle man speaking up. “My name is Beralt Smith,” his gray hair was messy, standing on end as if he had run his hands through it several times, eyes the color of aquamarine.

“I’m Y/N, and this is my partner, Izuku Midoriya. We’re students at U.A.”

“U.A.?” The man on the left repeated with wide eyes. He was short and plump, his brown hair circling a bald scalp. His eyes were black and beady. Bowing at the waist, he said, “Zachary Qi, it’s a pleasure.”

The man to the right was thin as a pole, round glasses covering mousy brown eyes. His hair was the same color, matted to his forehead with sweat. “Franklin Henry,” he spoke softly, his eyes trained on the ground.

“Wait, where is the fourth diplomat?” you questioned.

The men exchanged a sad look before Beralt spoke up, his voice reflecting the sadness in his eyes. “Benedict Kirkland was bitten by a snake shortly after our boat capsized and we arrived on the island. We did everything we could to aid him, but he succumbed to the poison. He was gone by the time the sun had risen.”

“We’re very sorry for your loss,” Midoriya bowed in respect, you doing the same.

“Thank you.”

“How did you come to find yourselves in this cave?” you asked. “Maybe we can use that route to try and escape.”

Zachary pointed toward the hole on the left, facing North. “Through there is the entrance to this cave. We hid there when a sudden storm rolled across the island, but it’s been completely sealed off by debris.”

You frowned. ‘I think I’m starting to see why these islands are considered cursed land…’

“I’m sure you’ve already checked the other two paths, as well,” Midoriya murmured, thoughtfully. He was determined to come up with a plan to get everyone to safety. He refused to let these men die.

“We did, but it would be best if you checked for yourself in case we missed something.”

You and Midoriya exchanged a look before you examined each pathway, searching for any small chance to escape. To the north, the entrance was blocked by large rubble that wouldn’t move an inch.  To the east was a dead end. And to the south was a small room, barely big enough to fit a single person. Your eyes narrowed at the high ceiling, squinting in the darkness. It was faint, but you could see a light near the ceiling.

Midoriya saw it too as he stuck his head into the room. “Do you think we can reach it?”

“I don’t know, but we have to at least try.”

He nodded as the two of you switched positions. He kneeled down, motioning for you to stand on his shoulders. You did as he indicated, using the wall to steady you. He slowly stood up, gripping your ankles. Standing on your tiptoes, you reached for the light, but it was just out of reach. With a grunt, you lifted your foot, digging it into the wall as best as you could.

“Be careful.”

You climbed the rest of the way, slipping a few times on the mossy stone. Your fingers gripped the ledge and you heaved yourself up and over, fingers digging into the stone. A burst of cold, fresh air hit your face. It was a small cave entrance!

“Y/N-san?” Midoriya’s voice reached you.

You leaned your upper body over the ledge. “It’s open up here! But… how do I get you guys out?”

“Try looking around for something that can act as a rope. But don’t go too far, and be careful!”

You nodded, crouching against the low ceiling as you headed for the low light coming from the entrance. Your breath came out in puffs of air, the temperature lowering as the sun faded across the horizon.

Eyes scanning the area around you, you took notice of a tall tree, its bare branches curling out as if it were reaching for something. Near the top, a thick vine had fallen from the tree beside it, wrapping around one of the branches. You could only hope it would be long and sturdy enough to help.

Activating your quirk, ‘Infernarrow’, a flaming bow appeared in your left hand. You grasped the bowstring and pulled back, a flaming area materializing as you did so. The arrow soared through the air, easily splintering the wood as it pierced the center of the branch. It came tumbling down, loudly cracking the other branches in its way before falling to the ground with a loud thump, the vine falling around it like a snake.

You untangled it and headed back to the cave where you tied one end to a large stone behind you. Laying on your stomach, you peered over the edge again. Midoriya was still there, body shaking as he wrapped his arms tight around his body. His worried expression changed to relief when his eyes met yours.

“I found a vine. It should be thick enough to hold up.”

“I’ll go get the others!” he ducked back into the tunnel, reappearing moments later. Franklin was going first so Midoriya wrapped the vine around his waist. “Put your feet on the wall and hold tightly to the vine. Y/N-san will help by pulling you up,” he glanced up at you and you nodded. “I’ll be here to catch you if you slip,” his bright smile seemed to ease the older man’s fears, but he was still shaking like a leaf.

You sat up, heels digging into the ground as you gripped the vine tightly in your hands. You weren’t nearly as strong as All Might or Midoriya, but you were far from weak and determined not to let the men fall.

The vine pulled taut as he started to climb. He honestly wasn’t that heavy, so you were able to steadily pull him up until his shaky hand gripped the ledge. With one hand still gripping the vine, you extended the other to grab his wrist, helping him up and over.

“I might need your help with the other two,” you said softly, glancing at him as he took a breath.

He nodded, undoing the vine from his waist and throwing it over the ledge. “I-I’m not very strong, but I’ll do my best!” he kneeled beside you, gripping the vine above your hands.

Beralt was up next. As Midoriya wrapped the vine around him, he clapped his hands and took a deep breath. “Now it’s time to see if those rock climbing lessons were worth the money!”

Your body shifted forward at the sudden weight but you pushed yourself back, pulling slower than you had with the previous man. Franklin’s arms were shaking, veins looking like they wanted to burst through his pale skin.

Beralt’s fingers gripped the ledge and Franklin grabbed his arm. Through gritted teeth, the man said, “No disrespect… sir Smith, but… maybe you should… consider better… eating habits!” he gave one final tug and the man heaved himself onto the ledge, breathing heavily.

He huffed, looking embarrassed. “Zachary is the one that snuck all that junk food onto the boat,” he threw the vine over the ledge before settling on your other side, hands wrapping around the vine. “He’s also heavier than I am, so prepare yourselves!”

The third man’s weight did concern you and you briefly wondered if the three of you would be strong enough to pull him up. If you did drop him, would Midoriya be able to safely catch him? Or would the older man’s weight crush the boy without remorse? That thought worried you and you flexed your fingers before resuming your grip on the vine, eyes shining with determination.

Zachary started to climb, making the three of you lurch forward at the sudden weight. The heel of your boot slid before getting stuck in a crack in the rock. You used this to your advantage, putting most of your weight on that side.

“I… can’t -” Franklin’s arms gave out and he fell forward at the sudden lurch of the vine. Both you and Beralt lost your grip but you gripped it again, the vine sliding through your hands at an alarming speed, burning the skin. You winced in pain, your stomach turning. Zachary cried out in fear and you could picture Midoriya being crushed.

“Damn it, STOP!!” you screamed, clenching your hands as tightly as you could, pushing yourself back with your legs. The vine came to a stop and the two men quickly grabbed it, taking some of the pressure off of you. With every move, your hands screamed at you, but you ignored the tears stinging your eyes.

Finally, Zachary reached the ledge, being grabbed by the back of his shirt by Beralt. His face was red, tears staining his cheeks.

Your hands were stinging and burning simultaneously, but you held the vine tight, biting down hard on your lip to try and distract your mind. Midoriya was heavier than Franklin, but much lighter than the other two, so Beralt did most of the lifting. You were thankful because you could feel how your grip had weakened considerably. You felt so thankful when Midoriya pulled himself up onto the ledge.

Midoriya took a breath as he kneeled in the cave, suppressing a shiver. “For now, let’s try and build a fire to keep warm. We can try to find our way when the sun rises.”

“I’ll go look for some wood,” you announced, leaving the cave. Darkness covered the island, the wind nipping at your damp clothes like hungry vultures. It felt good on your hands, though, that felt like they were on fire. You didn’t want to be near Midoriya right now because you knew how much of a worrywart he was – he’d freak out about your hands and the two of you had more important things to worry about.

You weaved through the trees, returning to the branch you had broken with your quirk. The spot was hidden behind a thick trunk of wood, but you only had to lean back to see the faint outline of the cave. You kneeled on the cold grass, holding out your shaking hands. The skin was dark red and was beginning to blister. There were small beads of blood, growing bigger when you stretched the skin.

‘I should wrap them up, but then he’ll definitely notice…’ you sighed. ‘I can’t even use my quirk with my hands like this,’ you cursed, throwing your head back to prevent the tears from falling.

The crunching of leaves alerted you to Midoriya approaching and you quickly flipped your hands over, nearly wincing as the skin rubbed against your clothes. He rubbed the back of his neck, face burning. “You… did a really good job back there, Y/N-san.”

You smiled up at him. “It was a group effort. I doubt I could have done it without their help…” you subconsciously flexed your hand and hissed in pain.

Midoriya noticed. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry!” A breeze whipped around you and you shivered. “I am cold though, so let’s hurry up and get that fire going!” with a grin, you tried to pick up the branch but a wave of pain went through your hands. You tried to hide it, but Midoriya was watching you closely.

He knelt beside you, gently grabbed your wrists. His eyes widened when he saw them. “Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. And it’s not even that bad…” you mumbled, not meeting his gaze. He ripped the fabric of his hero costume, exposing his knees. “W-Wait a minute, Mido -”

His warm smile made you pause as he ripped it into strips. “We need to cover them so they don’t get infected,” he gently wrapped it around your hand.

“Sorry for the trouble,” you sighed, looking up at the dark sky. “When sensei first mentioned this place, I found it weird that the number four kept coming up. Online, a lot of people speculated that this place is cursed and I think I’m starting to believe it.”

He hummed, beginning to wrap your other hand. “I don’t know much about curses, but I do believe we make our own luck. Even if the world is against us, I believe we can still come out on top as long as we work hard and never lose hope.”

You watched him as several emotions flickered across his face.

His eyes met yours with a fierceness you had never seen from him before. “That’s why I want to… tell you how I feel. I really like you, Y/N-san, a lot. Will you please go out with me?”

“Midoriya… no, Izuku,” you rested the back of your hand against his cheek and smiled. “I would be happy to,” he smiled so brightly it lit up the darkness. “For our first date, what do you think about an island getaway?”

He laughed as he stood up, bringing the branch with him. “I vote for a warmer first date.”

As another breeze passed through the trees, you suppressed a shiver. “Agreed…”

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

You knew that, in the fall, the sun rose in the East, so when the sun started to rise, you had your bearings. The five of you walked for hours until the sun started to set once more. With a stroke of luck, you faintly made out the light of a flashlight sweeping the trees and the sound of a familiar voice calling your name.

All Might found all of you, radioing back to Aizawa and the others that were out searching for all of you. He led the way toward the ship, the three diplomats following him closely as they geeked out about getting to meet the number one hero.

“Do you remember what I said, Izuku?” you asked, softly.

His brow furrowed in thought and you chuckled.

“We found our way out of the cave,” you kissed his left cheek. “We found the diplomats,” you kissed his right cheek. “And we’re on our way home,” your claimed his lips with your own.

Despite his burning cheeks, he pulled you closer to his body.

Maybe he was right after all. Maybe you did make your own luck.

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

#frightful october #halloween #izuku midoriya #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #midoriya izuku #bnha #anime #anime imagines #writing #creative writing #writeblr #scenario #scenarios #anime scenarios #anime scenario #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfics #anime fanfic #anime fanfics #reader insert #reader-insert #reader #one shot #fluff #angst #frightful october 19

[scripting-life]

FFVII: returning to my first love

 *peeks out of the corner of my lurking spot*

Hello? Anybody out there? It’s only been, oh you know, four-ish years since the last time I’ve posted anything here. I apologize in advance for anybody who’s still following me from my Castle days. If you couldn’t tell from my extended absence, I’ve mostly moved on. Castle and Beckett were fantastic characters that let me to play with some deep-dive analyses, and Castle will always hold a special place in my heart as my comfort show and my first real and extended experience with online fandom. I’ll always be grateful to the community I’ve had the joy of interacting with (or, the community with which I’ve had the joy of interacting, as Castle would correct me my dangling preposition).

I honestly didn’t think I would ever have reason to come back to Tumblr after Castle ended. But the FF7 Remake has returned me to my very first love--when I was young and innocent and before I knew anything about OTPs or ship wars. I’ve been back lurking for several months now and seeing all the fanart/fanfics and fun theories and analyses has reignited my enthusiasm for the FF7 franchise. It’s also fun coming back to this franchise with a more mature understanding of the themes/concepts that completely flew over my head as a young preteen.

(This ended up being super long, so the rest is below the cut to spare everyone the pain of scrolling. Apparently, my rambling tendencies have not changed at all. lol.)

When FF7R was officially announced (five freaking years ago!), I was filled with apprehension. FF7 was my first taste of a “grown-up” game. I was 11 and played my brother’s copy of the OG on PC in 1-2 hours spurts on the weekends when I visited his apartment. It took me months, if not years, to finish the game (I ended up stealing his copy to play on our computer at home...lol), and I was so blown away by it. I remember the exact moment I finished it and how I was literally shaking as I watched the ending FMV.

Later, when I found out my brother had a copy of FF8 (my poor brother was so accommodating to his annoying little sister...haha), I was so excited to play, in large part because I thought it would continue the story of FF7. Young, naive me didn’t understand the numbering conventions of Final Fantasy titles. I was madly theorizing and breaking my brain trying to find connections between the two games’ plots and had literally played through more than half the game before I finally realized the storyline of FF8 had absolutely nothing to do with FF7. I was sorely disappointed, and I think that has somewhat tainted my appreciation of future titles. Not to say I haven’t enjoyed the subsequent FF titles, but I think a little part of me is always comparing them to that first experience of wonder and awe that I had with FF7.

I discovered fanfiction in my teens and starting writing FF7/Cloti fics in college. Aside from interacting with a few fic writers at the time, I was not involved in any online communities, so I kept myself pretty free of any ship war drama and the like. When I did research for my fics, I’d sometimes see shipping sites and theories where I didn’t always understand the logic of how certain conclusions were reached, but frankly, I didn’t much care and didn’t realize that Clerith vs. Cloti was such a touchy subject. I was peripherally aware that some sort great LTD war was waging, of course, but it didn’t really touch me. I stayed in my Cloti shipping/fic-writing lane and was probably a lot happier for it. And, to be honest, based on FFN’s listings for FF7, I felt like I always saw a bunch of Sephiroth/Cloud fics and thought that was just as popular as the more conventional ships.

Graduating college and entering “real life” pretty much ended my FF7 fanfic-writing journey. In the intervening years between college and the release of FF7R, I haven’t gone back to the OG too much. I’ve played almost all the Final Fantasy games since then, and I always enjoy getting my FF7 crew fix when I play the non-canon mobile games or the Kingdom Hearts franchise. But FF7 was a happy part of my teenage years, and I was content to think on it with sweet nostalgia.

Remakes, in recent experience (*cough cough* Disney, why?), have been hit or miss, with a lot of misses. It’s hard to strike a good balance between catering to nostalgia and delivering a fresh product, never mind the change in social mores through the decades. I was so afraid FF7R would screw up my memories, especially since I wasn’t the biggest fan of Advent Children. The graphics were great and the action scenes were fun, but the story felt like a let-down. Cloud, in particular, felt so different (and yes, moody) from where we left him after the OG. I understand now that a lot of his character motivation was better explained in the On The Way to a Smile novels, but back then, I just felt like AC came out of nowhere. 

Btw, because I see this question a lot on other blogs when I’m lurking, I’ve ALWAYS thought that it was very clear in AC--even without reading anything else--that the reason for Cloud’s depression was due to guilt and not because he was pining for Aerith. The only reason I didn’t like his characterization in AC was because it felt like it came out of nowhere since AC is set 2 years after OG and by the end of the OG, he seemed to be in a pretty decent place mentally and emotionally. That being said, I can absolutely understand why some traumas resurface years after the originating incident and how times of peace might actually be worse because he is no longer solely focused on saving the world, but I was just surprised and a little bummed that this was the direction the devs chose to take AC at the time. Now that I’m older, I do better appreciate the complexities of Cloud’s mental state and the fact that they depicted a hero with lingering mental health issues is actually pretty awesome. I’m drawn to characters that have flaws--sometimes serious ones--but try their best anyway. Hence, why why Tifa Lockhart and Kate Beckett are some of my all-time favorites.

Anyhow, that didn’t stop me from pre-ordering FF7R, of course. I avoided reading any reviews as I didn’t want my first impressions to be swayed, and boy, was I happy that I went in mostly blind. That sense of awe really almost felt like playing the OG for the first time again, but somehow more. The combat system is incredibly fun and the world-building is nothing short of incredible. The variety and abundance of NPCs gives the game so much flavor and the locations have been rendered so well. As I’m going through areas like the Sector 7 train station and Wall Market and Aerith’s house, I can almost superimpose the layout from the OG in my head, but now it’s in 3D and so rich and full. It’s obvious that a lot of attention was paid to details, and I love all the head-nods and homages to the OG.

And oh, the characters!

This is the Cloud I’ve been wanting to see in glorious HD and the Cloud I remember from the original game: all awkward, dorky trying to be cool, socially inept, mentally unstable, abrasive-at-times, reluctant to act depending on who’s asking, wannabe hard-ass who’s actually a big softie inside Cloud. I remember reading an article a few years back about how the devs basically redid Cloud for the Remake because they wanted him to go back to his dorky roots--which ends up making him closest to his personality in the OG than his appearances in other franchises--and I was SOOOO incredibly happy to hear that. I was so sick of the way Cloud was constantly depicted as this cool, broody McBrood in his cameos when he was a pretty big dork in the OG. (Anybody remember him doing squats in the Highwind when Tifa says it’ll be lonely with just the two of them and Cloud responds that he’ll make enough noise to make up for it? Like I said: cute, but a dork.)

I WAS surprised by how comfortable and sweet and touchy (so very very touchy) the devs made him with Tifa from the beginning. That initial scene of Cloud being such a smooth operator giving Tifa the flower had my jaw-dropping and every single flirty interaction after that (and there are many) had my Cloti heart overflowing in shock and bliss. Throughout most of my years as a Cloti shipper, even though I believed Cloti was supported by canon and pretty clearly together, I was also under the impression--mistakenly or not--that Cloti was the minority ship. So for Square Enix to make it so blatantly obvious that Cloud is really into Tifa at such an early stage has been an unexpected gift.

Also, they’re just really hot together. (Clotiscrew tunnel--be still my heart!)

As for Tifa...oh, what wonderful character development we’ve already gotten for Tifa. Tifa has always been one of my all-time favorite characters ever since reading her character blurb in the OG game manual. Initially, as a child, it was because I saw so much of myself in her. She was outwardly bright and optimistic, but tended to hide all of her stronger feelings inside. She fought with her fists, and for someone who was a tomboy growing up who liked playing contact sports with the boys, I connected with her in a way that I had never been able to connect with other female protagonists who were primarily back-row specialists. (I also aspired to grow to her listed height of 5′4″, which alas, did not happen...lol).

I love how the Remake delves into more of Tifa’s moral conflict between the destruction that she causes as part of Avalanche and needing to do something to stop Shinra, and yes, even seeking revenge. They touched on this in the OG lightly, but the Remake really hammers it home. She’s perhaps the most conflicted character in terms of motivation in Part 1. That scene with the Shinra manager on the train is actually one of my favorite scenes of her because it highlights that tension. The elevator scene, if you opted for it instead of the stairs (or if you did one, saved, and reloaded to do the other one, like me), is also underrated in terms of how much it reveals about Tifa’s inner struggle.

On this point, I also appreciate that the Remake has the characters reflecting on the damage they’ve both indirectly and directly inflicted--the Avalanche team all do this to a certain degree. In particular, Jessie’s constant inability to figure out what she’d done wrong with the bomb to cause such a massive explosion and her remaining feelings of guilt during her death scene (”they were my victims” ouch!) were heart-breaking.

Aerith’s depiction was another pleasant surprise. I’ll be honest; I didn’t much like her in the OG. She was too pushy and willfully oblivious to the point of being mean at times. In the Remake, much of her sometimes too in-your-face playfulness was kept--perhaps still a little too much--but I appreciate the nuance that they gave her. The train graveyard scene tells the player that she didn’t have friends growing up, and I think that partially contributes to her lack of social tact at times. The other factor that gives her personality more nuance is the hint of special knowledge that affects how she interacts with the rest of the group. It gives her additional hidden motivation and adds to her mystery for new players while simultaneously pulling at the heartstrings for old players who get the impression that Aerith is somehow aware--to a certain, unknown extent--of her own fate. 

I also appreciate that Aerith is more grounded as a real person than as some sort of revered being. I do blame AC for some of that. When you have the power to cure a fatal disease from the afterlife and send the dead back to life, it gets into some godlike territory. Maybe it’s a fair depiction of her powers as a Cetra, but I just get the feeling that Aerith herself wouldn’t really appreciate being made into this goddess-like figure. Remember that her character blurb in the original game manual implied that she was more interested in earthly things (i.e. the love triangle) than in exploring her own powers. I personally think that Aerith used the “love triangle” in the OG as a form of escapism from the weight of her burdens rather than genuine interest, and I just think she’d want to be thought of as a person rather than as a god. One of my favorite scenes for Aerith is when she and Cloud are traversing the rooftops and she slips on the ladder, letting out a simple, “Shit.” It humanizes her in a way that combats some of the ways she’s sort of been deified in the last 23 years. Also, Aerith wielding a folding chair like it’s WWE never fails to make me laugh. Overall, she just comes off as a more reasonably flawed and--as a result, to me--a more likeable character in the Remake, and I do very much like her now.

Barret is pretty much the exact larger than life character I imagined in my head, only somehow even better, and I really love how expressive and emotional his eyes and facial expressions are. His scenes with Marlene are truly the cutest thing ever. Red XIII is a big, furry ball of sass, and I need so much more of him in the coming parts (Cosmo Canyon still wrecks me to this day). The interactions between the Wedge, Biggs, and Jessie are incredible, and they really feel like people who’ve been friends and basically each other’s family for years. The Turks and Rufus are pretty much as cool as I imagined them in the OG.

There’s still so much more I haven’t even started touching on about the Remake, and I think that’s why I’m finally posting this now. I just can’t contain my love for this game any more, and I really really need a place to express myself. I don’t know if anybody is still reading, but I appreciate having the opportunity to finally gush about this game and franchise that I’ve loved so much for pretty much two-thirds of my life.

#ff7r #final fantasy 7: remake #cloti #cloud x tifa #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #aerith gainsborough #jessie rasberry #barret wallace #red xiii #for the love of the game #personal experience #not sure i'm ready to wade back into fandom life #but i really needed to gush #oh man i forgot to mention the cats #how could i forget the cats?!?!?

[burtatethebees]

January4, 2020

Happy New Year!

I spent news years with my sister in her trailer in the woods with her friends from Conserve, Ian, Cecelia, Eli, and Chris. Ian is really funny and kinda hot. In my Smart Brain, I know that this is the typical period in a friendship with a guy where I’m infatuated with them, but my Stupid Brain says he would hold me very good. 

We went into downtown Athens on the first day of three. We played Ultimate frisbee in a historic field at UGA. I ran a lot, which was a really bad idea cause I’m really fragile. I was sore in my hip for the rest of the night and my while legs for the rest of the weeks. Ian and Eli took their shirts off to play, who knows why truely, but it was a little hot. Eli is kinda Thicc and not my type, but Ian is My Type. He’s my heightish, a little bit taller, so like 5′ 7-8″. He’s got abs and is just all around Lean and Strong. His veins on his arms are really nice. I don’t know why that's hot to so many girls, but I’m not complaining about it. 

Yeah but later that night we left the field and walked around downtown. We were gonna get Ian to pretend to be a psychic and get some money, but Jay shoved the sign in a little garden for us to get later and we never went back. We went into a cool boutique/junk store. I was browsing and Jay almost left me there, like if I hadn’t heard her say to the clerk that it was good to see them again I wouldn’t have noticed they left the building. We went to Waffle House, but I couldn't finish my food so I gave it to Ian. The lady working there was sassy. We met up with Shazam, as mom calls him, after Waffle house. We walked around some more and then Jay asked Shazam if he was parked at a meter or free parking, so we had to go check. The whole group kinda separated on accident. Ian and Chris ran off to slide down some rails. Eli and I went off to go with them, and Jay, Cecelia, and Shazam went to go find his truck. Ian and Chris saw that Jay was leaving and decided to run away after the rest of the group. Eli and I chased after them but we lost them cause they probably pulled some spiderman move and were jumping across rooftops or something. So Eli and I got lost. We went back to the Waffle house cause that's kinda the direction they were going to get to Shazam’s truck. 

We went back to the field after we moved Shazam’s truck to free parking. We played some more frisbee. Jay ran into Ian trying to catch the frisbee and got a bloody nose. She couldn’t drive so when we left Chris drove the minivan back home. Eli and Ian were gonna come with us, but they decided to walk home, like weirdos. It took them like an hour and a half. Chris accidentally drove the whole four miles with the parking brake on, totally fucking up the brake in the process. At one point he asked “why is the brake light on?” but my brain didn't process what that meant and so I didn't say anything. He doesn’t use the parking brake on his car so he didn’t know what it meant. 

When we got home, we went into the camper and Jay gave Shazam his Christmas present. He got a Llama Popper which shot foam ball out of a llama mouth. We killed time until Eli and Ian got back.

We hung out around the fire that Jay built. I sat on a wool blanket next to Ian. I wish that I knew them better so I could have sat closer and perhaps, maybe, cuddled a little. He did with Chris and Eli. We went into the camper after a little bit to watch movies. We watched Shameless, which I was really not into. We lied on the floor on the camper, I WAS between Cecelia and Ian but Jay cut in and told Ian to move over. Lame ass, cockblock lol. I left after a little bit and sat in my tent for a bit. I came back and just kinda chilled on my phone until the countdown for New Years. We went outside for the countdown. We were all huddled cause it was Very cold. I stood next to Ian. My Stupid Brain wanted to kiss him. 

We went back inside and watched Love, Death, and Robots. I watched it all but I’m not into it. It was really gory and there was a lot of animated dicks. Ian likes the show. When it was 2 am I went back out to my tent to go to sleep. I had to spend like five minutes combing my hair because it got so tangled from the hat I was wearing that day. I went to sleep and had a dream vaguely about love.

The next morning I woke up at 8. I was the only one up in the main area. Shazam was up and came done a little after I woke up. I helped him build a fire. When the rest woke up we fucked around killing time for a few hours. Ian made tea in a wine bottle on the open fire. Ian, Chris, Eli, and Shazam had a wood-splitting contest. Ian kept putting random shit in the fire. Cecelia and I hung out in Chris’ hammock. We eventually went back into town and got nachos. This was the beginning of a shitshow. I put in 5$ for the nachos since Jay got one with chicken and no pepper or onions for me. I went to the bathroom cause there aren't any real ones at her camper. When I got back nearly all the nachos were gone. The boys had vacuumed them up in like 5 minutes. I was hungry but too much of a pussy to get up and order my own taco. Now, in retrospect, I have NO IDEA why I didn’t. So I condemned myself to be hungry for like five hours. We left the taco stand and wandered around Athens for a while. We went to a construction site. We lost Cecelia and none of the others seemed to be worried about her. They finally realized what could have happened to her like half an hour later so we went to go find her. We found her at a Subway. 

Ian needed a suitcase so we went to a thrift store. I finally got some flannels, but I was still pissed so I didn’t really talk to the rest of the group for a while. I told Jay how I felt and she told me “too bad”. So that sucked. I bought my flannels and we left. We went to a Graveyard and I stormed off but decided I didn’t want to get lost so I went back. We used Ian’s spirit box to talk to some ghosts. We tried in two different locations. They were really active in the second place. I don't know who we were talking to, but I was nice cause I got to sit really close to Ian so I could hear the box. After we were done, we lied down in the leaves by the grave we were sitting next to. The group, excluding me, all pile on each other, but I felt like I didn’t know them well enough to do that. I lied perpendicular to Ian with my head on his chest/arm, which was Very Nice. We listen to a true-crime podcast, but we had to stop cause there were footsteps and Cecelia and I got spooked. It turned out to be a deer, but we left soon after. 

We went dumpster-diving. We drove around a plaza cause Jay wanted to find Michael’s. They stopped at the Starbuck and got bounced to go get me some food finally. I got Willy’s. I shouldn’t have gotten the adobe chicken, I normally do, but this location was much spicier. While I was eating Ian pulled up and adventure AI. Eli chose the options and Ian read them. He was a mental patient and summoned some demons, burned to death, met god, and woke up. He ate the toes of some lady and then ate her whole body. Then the story ended. 

We went back home. We sat around the fire at the Kitchen Pavilion and listened to Podcasts. We listened to something Eli had about getting kidnapped into a meat factory, it was really funny, and Welcome To Nightvale. Then we all kinda drifted off back to camp and fell asleep.

I woke up early again the next day. The ground was wet so I didn’t want to sit down, so I just stood and zoned out stared at the trees. I went back to my tent cause I was kinda cold, but Ian and Cecelia woke up right after so I came back out. Ian told me he saw me kinda just staring at the trees, which means he was watching me at least a little from the camper. They sat in Chris’ hammock under the rainfly. It looked like and leaf. Ian told me to tell him a deep, dark secret like it was a confessional. I instantly went to “I think you’re hot as hell.” but I didn’t say that, obviously. So I told them that I think Angie is gonna drop me in the new year. I complained about the color guard at school and told them how the Horticulture club is gonna try to take over another club. I had a lot of fun talking to them, but then Jay woke up. We fucked around for a while and then got stuff together to leave. We packed into the car and left. At this point, it was just me, Jay, Chris, Ian, and Cecelia. We went to Brent’s house. On the way there they talked about stuff they did at conserve. They took the BDSM test I guess, so Ian asked Jay What she got. Chris was top 2, dom and sadist, which he doesn't look like at all, but it’s always the ones you don’t suspect. Ian didn’t say, I wish he had. I took it in the car while they were talking. I got Brat and primal (prey) as my top two. I REALLY wish Ian had said what he got. 

 I am not a big fan of being at Brent’s place since it was my Grandpa’s house. Brent is changing everything and he got two roommates. The whole house smells like cigs. The art is different. So I started tearing up almost as soon as we got there. It was the first time I had been back there since we came to get furniture, and only the 2nd time I had been there after Grandpa died. I started texting my mom about how I was sad. She called me and I went outside and cried to her. I hung up and composed myself enough to come back inside. Mom called Jay and told her how I felt. I was gonna try to catch Jay before she came back inside so I could talk to her. I cried again outside on her shoulder. She told me we would go home soon. She called me her baby sister in front of her friends again, which I don’t like. We sat in a circle and chatted, I forget about what. I felt better while I was distracted. Brent woke up eventually. We played a lot of foosball. 

We went home eventually to my house. We sat in the basement and watched some sexy anime, then murder stories. We moved on to conspiracy theories. Ian suggested a show called Undone. I liked it but we stopped watching after two episodes cause they kept talking over it. They started talking about shit I didn’t understand so I went upstairs and cried cause I felt left out. My mom let me cry to her for like 20 minutes, then I ate some soup and felt better. I didn’t want to go back down cause they were talking about shared-stores and I wouldn’t have been included. I texted Jay about how I felt and she apologized. I went to sleep and missed them all leaving in the morning by like 20 minutes. I was sad about that but I followed Ian on Insta, so we’re good. He followed me back and I sent him some memes. He liked them :). 

Yesterday I played a lot of video games to recover from camping. I read some good ass fanfic too. There was one with Levi from Attack on Titan, which I’ve recently gotten into. After my grandpa died I came home and devoured a lot of shows from my queue in Funimation, then I started reading it in the school library. So anyway, the fic was about Levi and his cadet girlfriend. The Reader accidentally gets a shot of essentially a pregnancy imitating drug. So she and Levi can't fuck because she’s super fertile. She starts lactating because of the drug and so she needs Levi to drink the milk from her to stop it from hurting. Hot as fuck, hell yeah. 

Weird to go from Epic SMut to Family Time but in the afternoon, we went to have lunch with Shauna and Tala. Tala’s 5th birthday was on the 29th and we hadn’t seen her. We got her some belated Christmas/Birthday presents. She thought the Creatures of Star Wars book was for her little brother, Eliot (9 months). I built her Frozen lego set for her and we played Elsa and Ana. We went upstairs to her room to play Calico Critters. That didn't last long, oh the attention span of a five-year-old. We played animal battle, which was just us throwing stuffed animals at each other. Justin came up to say hey and totally annihilated me and Tala with stuffed cat toys. We left after that.

 I wish I could see Eliot and Tala more often. When Tala was a baby we were with her constantly. We babysat her like three times a week. She loves me so much. She’s the sweetest little girl. Eliot is really clingy right now. He doesn’t let anyone but Shauna hold him and he hates to be out of eyeshot of her. I want to hold him. 

We went to see Cats that afternoon. It was ok. Not as bad as people have been saying, but it wasn't Good. It kinda just exists. I am ashamed to say it but I kinda thought that Mr. Mistoffelees was kinda hot. Just the way he acted. I like guys who are kinda sad and lonely. I guess I’m a furry. Shit happens.

Today I woke up and read a fic about Kylo Ren (RIP) totally destroying his assistant and breaking up her engagement just he wants to smash. Hot. 

I went to my Grandma’s with my dad. I drove there. That was the longest I’ve ever driven and also the biggest road I’ve driven on. We took down her Christmas Deco and looked through a lot of old cookbooks and recipes from the 70′s. She gave me some and Dad wants to put together a cookbook with O’Neil recipes. I think that’s cool. I got some recipe cards for Christmas from Dad, so I’m gonna start my own recipe box. 

Our dryer caught on fire this evening. That was fun. We’re having some money issues, so I don’t know how we’re gonna replace it. I’m just glad I did all my laundry this morning. 

[oveliagirlhaditright]

So... I’m a few days late for this, and I apologize. I was busy making birthday presents for the best friend and lost track of time.

And if people can’t use this because it’s late, they of course don’t have to. But...

This is what KH means to me... My thank you to the KH team...

I would have loved to write something for them, but I don’t know if they’d be big on getting fanfiction for their own work. I also could have done a digital manipulation or gmv for them... But IDK. Maybe them getting their own work back to them in a fan-edited way wouldn’t seem good at all? Because you didn’t do most of the work there. They did. You just edited it. And maybe you even edited in a way they wouldn’t approve of, and they see your work as copyright infringement?

So that leaves drawing, but I’m not the best drawer yet...

So screw it. I’m just going to write an essay about what this series has meant to me, the last seventeen years.

(Warning. This will be long. And probably emotional.)

Where do I even begin... I discovered this series when I was nine-years-old, right after the first game had come out. And seeing the advertisements for it on Disney channel made me want to have it so very badly.

I actually didn’t have a PS2 at the time... And while my sister and I did want other games alongside KH, yes, it was mainly for KH that we wanted a Playstation 2... So we begged our parents for one for Christmas, and they were gracious enough to get us one and quite a few games... and, of course, Kingdom Hearts with them.

We actually didn’t start with that one, though (even though I wanted to). My sister wanted to somewhat save the best for last, I guess... And when we did finally end up playing it, I had actually caught a bit of a cold (and it was only the promise that we’d finally play Kingdom Hearts, that day that got me to game. Even though I had been every day before, and had enjoyed all the other games--don’t get me wrong--but I was feeling that crappy, and it took the incentive of Kingdom Hearts to get me to agree).

And to say that I fell in love with it from the get-go would be an understatement. The opening cinematic pulled me in, it’s true (and already, I could tell this was different from the other games based on movies that I’d played), but it was mainly the Dive to the Heart section that really captured me (and made me forget my illness). That atmosphere still gives me chills and wonder, and calls me back to give it a go again years and years later. And I’m glad something like it has been included in games since, like in KHII, KHIII, Re:Coded, and what have you.

I was nine... So I stumbled my way through a lot of this game--and I mean stumbled--I had no idea what I was doing most of the time. In the fights, a lot of the ways I’d let Donald and Goofy do all of the work... and it took me a whole month to find Maleficent in Hollow Bastion. But I did end up beating the game, and understanding all of it.

I also ended up getting deep thoughts about it--as it is a mystery series that leaves you thinking--and I know I used to annoy people by talking about it. Haha. But this series got me thinking in a way that nothing else had... And that I honestly don’t know if most other kids my age could have... at least without something like this in their lives.

At this point, the series owned my soul. It touched me more than any other piece of media ever had, and ever will--and I’d had plenty pieces of media I really liked back then, such as Sailor Moon and yet they didn’t even come close. And while I’d shipped other couples before, such as Usagi and Mamoru from Sailor Moon, Sora and Kairi was the first one where I really felt like “These two have to be together”--and my life became about waiting for the next game (it still very much is, as sad as that might be to say).

I remember I would go to the store, and often times ask people who worked in the game section if they knew anything about a Kingdom Hearts II (this was before I had the Internet), and I recall being really sad one time when one of the workers told me maybe there never would be. LOL And to be clear, this was the time even before Chain of Memories.

Eventually, I saw Chain of Memories advertised on Cartoon Network and then begged my parents for a Game Boy Advance, so I could play this sequel. And for the Christmas that year, they complied as well (gosh, I have the best parents in the world). But I was saddened when I realized I couldn’t really play it with my sister (and her best friend) who I’d played the first game with. So my sister just told me to play it, and then tell her everything that happened. Which I did... With notes, and everything. Oh, yeah. I kept notes on KHI, CoM, and KHII, I think. I was that level of crazy (in a good way!).

Around this time, I was also subscribed to Disney magazines... And when I eventually got one that had Kingdom Hearts II in it: the one that revealed Sora’s new outfit as Beast’s Castle as a world--the first I’d ever heard of it, and the first I realized that Chain of Memories wasn’t the “true sequel” (as much as I did like Chain of Memories, I was glad to hear this. And even moreso that it was coming back to consoles, so I could experience it with my sister and her best friend again), I legitimately screamed so loud, you don’t even know. It’s a good thing I was home alone that day... And screaming about anything Kingdom Hearts related has pretty much become a trend of mine. Oops.

...So then I ended up pre-ordering Kingdom Hearts II from GameStop, with all of the cool things that came with that (like the special edition strategy guide that had four different covers, based on Sora’s Drive Forms. I have the Valor/Brave Form one), and I asked my mom to pick it up for me while I was at school so I could come home the day it came out and immediately start playing it. It came out near the beginning of that year’s spring break, and I beat the whole game in that time... You couldn’t have pulled me away from my Playstation 2 that break if you had tried. 

I also know that I tried out for my school’s show choir the time that Kingdom Hearts II had just come out... Something I really should have cared about, but I didn’t as much as I could’ve... And while my mom had gotten busy talking to someone, waiting for me to come back from my audition, when I got back and she was still talking to them... I sort of wanted her to hurry along, so I could get back to my game... Something I think my mom even admitted to that person (but in as nice a way as possible)... Oh my gosh.

I also know that one day, I was thinking about KHII in class--I’d left off on the half-way mark of the game, with the 1000 Heartless battle and all that--so it was heavy on my mind... Our teacher was asking us about our weekends, and someone else in class started talking about how they started playing Kingdom Hearts II, and I gasped loudly--to which everyone stared--and I said that I had the game, too, and loved it... My teacher then said that was the most emotion they’d ever gotten out of me.

Ahahahahaha. I have many other embarrassing stories that I could admit with this series--particularly with KHII, and I have on past accounts--but you know what? I’m going to save myself some humiliation and keep them to myself.

But KH... It means the world to me. How can it not? It’s been a constant joy in my life for so many years: That’s been with me through just a little before my double-digit years, all of my teens, and into my adulthood.

I’ve made many friends through this series, too, either by convincing my friends to give it a try or making friends with people I know love the saga.

It’s a constant light for me, and always has been, that reminds me of my childhood (for so many reasons. The Disney for sure being one of them) and simpler times: And that there always is a light at the end of the tunnel... 

In fact, the KH characters even feel like friends I’ve had for a long time--that I can always count on--and who I’m always happy to see.

And even now, that feeling hasn’t faded away (it probably never will). Since the way I reacted to KHIII, is pretty much the way I did KHII: Even fourteen years later, and as an adult now.

Kingdom Hearts even introduced me to all the things I love. I found YouTube--after I finally got Internet--when a friend told me I could watch the Kingdom Hearts II secret ending there, as I hadn’t unlocked it myself (and since I had doubts in myself as a gamer back then, I wasn’t sure that I could. Even though I had unlocked the one for the first game. And did eventually do so for the second game... and all of them, except for KHIIFM so far). And YouTube, amvs (a lot of them for KH) is how I found my love for video editing.

And moreover, I’m a writer. And it was in Googling stuff about Sora and Kairi that I eventually discovered fanfiction (that I actually, stupidly, thought was official stuff by the actual writers at first, because I found fanfiction on sites that weren’t called that), and through that started it myself and honed my writing skills. My writing style is probably even inspired by KH, in a lot of ways--like how I handle mystery and when I deliver information to the reader, and all.

KH also did simpler things, like getting me into other Square Enix games (Final Fantasy, The World Ends With You, Bravely Default), and gaming in general.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without Kingdom Hearts, and that’s just the facts.

I’ve even bonded over it with my dad. My dad doesn’t know the series at all, God bless him, but he’s always willing to talk to me about it and ask me questions since he knows I love it so much. He always asks me when the next game’s coming out. Or if he knows one’s coming out, he’s aware of how happy that must have made me... Or if I’m playing it around him, and he hears a long song begin to play, he knows I must have beaten it. He also went to the Kingdom Hearts Orchestra with me:D

My mom also knows the series through me. A bit more than my dad, since she used to come up and watch us play it some (my dad also did a few times). But I felt it’s more fitting to mention my dad here, since he actually knows it less... And still admirably does this stuff, and is still this in the know about how much it means to me.

...I’ve admitted this before (like in an official survey to Square Enix)--even though I don’t like to, for obvious and personal reasons (and this is for sure something my parents don’t know and never should)--that in really rare, dark times of mine... Kingdom Hearts has saved me from suicide: Those times that I struggle with depression, and felt like I really had nothing else to live for... And yet wanting to be alive to finally see the end of Sora's story, drove me to give life another chance.

And I don’t really think I can say much more than that, or go deeper, to express just what this franchise is to me.

So Kingdom Hearts team... from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.

#thank you kh team

[my-love-peterp]

Mistaken Chapter Five

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST DROP ME AN ASK

please like and rb/comment <3

Word Count: 2721 (this actually comprises chapters 7 and 8 on Ao3)

THERE ARE NO ENDGAME SPOILERS, THIS IS A DELAYED UPLOAD FROM AO3

Fic Summary: Peter Parker has been given the responsibility of bringing in a new recruit. Now, as an adult, he realizes that none of the trashy YA novels he read in high school could have prepared him for this. There was a storm on the horizon, and all they could do from the Tower is watch.

Chapter Summary: Lol updating within a few hours after weeks of not updating at all? It’s more likely than you think. HOnestly, not my finest work but I’m so tired and I feel so bad about not getting anything out there sooner. I want to change bits and pieces of this story but my goodness, yeah. So if you’d like to Beta read shit for me, y’all would be much appreciated.

Warnings: honestly idk, if I missed something besides language hmu friends

Chapter One   Chapter Two   Chapter Three   Chapter Four

I ran. There was no stopping me. I stole a cowl from a closet and drifted into the shadows, just long enough to leap from the window.

I materialized and flitted down back alleys until I hit Park Ave. I didn’t know much about this area of New York, but every borough has their drinking holes, right?

Minutes later, I was staggering into a quaint little bar that wasn’t quite the dive that I was looking for, but it would do. This was probably better in any case, fewer leering eyes and a hefty, red-haired, Irish woman who kept my drink full and men away.

Hydra was just one of the many skeletons rattling around in my closet, but they were the Rosetta Stone to my trauma in a lot of ways. Not the foundation, but the guide.

Two more glasses of Lagavulin and those pressing thoughts were kicked to the wayside.

Behind me, the grandfather clock chimed five o’clock. Just call me Jimmy Buffet and saddle me up with a margarita.

What no amount of alcohol could do, unfortunately, was erase the people I’d… met with Hydra. Or lost with them. Most of all, I could never forget my sister.

Brave and stupid drunk, I left my drinking post and headed down Park Avenue rather aimlessly. It felt like I was being drawn in a certain direction, meant to be there, which is absolutely absurd, but I was just drunk enough to believe it.

My feet halted half an hour later outside of a quaint little tattoo parlor. I’d always wanted a tattoo but I’d never had the time nor the money to get one. Fortunately, as a runaway Avenger-in-Training, I had both of those in spades now.

And, as fate would have it, the shop was advertising that they were available for walk-ins today.

Whipping out my new cell phone, I pulled up a picture of what exactly I wanted. My sister and I had always fancied we'd get matching ones someday.

The overly muscled and extremely tattooed man just nodded his ascent and began freehanding a design for the Phoenix on my right side. I was decently numbed from the booze, but as time passed, the more my sides protested in pain. Occasionally, I would feel a quick rush of air push cold wind over my aching skin and nearly groan in pleasure.

Finally, three hours later, I was gingerly easing my shirt back on, sides to be kept wrapped for the next hour or so, in case they started bleeding or weeping plasma and ink.

I stood, signed my name along the dotted line for the payment and stepped out on the street to find none other than Pietro standing, back resting against the side of the building with his arms crossed, obviously waiting for me.

Rather than acknowledge his presence, I moved to hail a taxi. He took that moment to wrap his arms around my middle, sending bolts of pain shooting from my fresh tattoos, and bolted down the street.

Fate, should it exist, obviously had a sense of humor. Minutes later, we were standing in the lobby of Avengers Tower.

Hesitantly, I moved for the elevator doors, wincing with every step as it pulled along my aching muscles, both from the walking and the movement of inked flesh. Pietro followed loosely behind me, as I anticipated. Once he had retrieved me, he certainly wasn’t going to let me escape. He was perhaps the one Avenger I couldn’t simply evade or trick, his eyes caught things as though they were moving half the speed they actually were.

An uncomfortable silence ensued as Pietro pressed the button to take us up to the Penthouse, the de facto floor for team meetings.

Despite receiving an equal number of concerned and suspicious glances, most of the team paid me little to no mind.

Peter gestured to Pietro, eyes questioning, and nods were exchanged. What I wouldn’t give to be able to hear what they were thinking. And maybe it was vain of me to assume that they’d been communicating about me, but I was almost positive.

Lost in my reverie, I almost missed the command Cap gave to Wanda to put me under. I hadn’t even taken a step by the time I was falling to the ground, unconscious, caught in lean arms.

It would be the best rest I’d get for weeks to come.

________________________________________________________________

I woke up in my own rooms, restrained to the bed. What had happened was fairly obvious, considering the only person who was in my rooms besides me was Tony. And he had an Iron Gauntlet trained on me as I came to. I hacked to clear my throat before speaking. “Seems like a bit of overkill Grandpa.”

Tony just glared down at me, not moving a single inch or softening in any way.

I tried again. “So I take it Witchy rummaged around in my head and found some… Not so savory things. Perhaps my stint as a Hydra assassin. Maybe the length of my kill list even. Let me guess, you’re currently prepping a room for me at whatever new and improved raft you built to keep Thanos locked up and never coming back. Fair warning, I’ll never go willingly and I can put up one hell of a fight.”

“Fortunately for you, that decision’s not up to me and would require the input of the feds, which, knowing what we do now, I can fairly certainly say, you’d prefer if they stayed out of it. 12 US government officials assassinated in less than three months by yours truly. Wow. Talk about a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Were I not a better man, I’d shoot you right now.”

“So why are you here Tony, if not to kill me?” I snarled back at him. “What good does me being alive do? To anyone.” That startled him a little bit, shell shocked enough to look up and into my eyes, where I saw my own feral irises reflected.

But he steeled himself again within moments. And then, out of the breast pocket of his blue blazer, he grabbed a sheet of paper.

Not a sheet of paper I realized as he folded it out for me. A picture of a skinny redheaded woman. One I recognized intimately. “Target 17. What do you need to know?” I questioned coldly, unfeeling. That made him jerk backward in his seat and hastily stand, panting and heaving, murderous intent glinting in his brown eyes.

“Her name was Pepper. And she was killed three days before our wedding, carrying my child. So I’d like to know. Was it-,“ he spat out like the words were physically fighting to escape from his body.

“Was it me? No. I was in the wind with my sister for a few months after our covers were almost blown taking out a diplomat in Indonesia. For what it’s worth, I truly am sorry Tony. Especially,” I said, voice dropping to a whisper, “about your son.”

“Excuse me, my what?” Fists clenched, he strode up to the side of my bed, closer to my head. I shied away from him as he bent down and got into my face. “What did you just say to me?”

Fuck. He didn’t know and I just made it ten times worse. The sound of his repulsor charging broke the most pregnant silence I’d ever heard. Before he could fire, though, Thor and Steve burst through the door and caught him as he collapsed in anguish, taking him away, leaving me alone. They knew everything about my time with Hydra. The evil I’d done and the evil I’d allowed to happen. I was the enemy. And I had no backup.

So back to normal.

Hours later, I gave in to my bone-deep weariness and collapsed into sleep. Dream after fever dream encased my drained mind, ephemeral and diaphanous. Most images were forgotten immediately, flighty and fragile as a butterfly’s wing. Others though, others stuck like mosquitos stuck in amber. Flashes.

Light, blood, destruction. Tattooed stars and deep, harrowing scars on ragged faces. Sobbing little boys with green eyes and silky hair.

Despite the intense lunacy and deep feeling of realness, I felt while dreaming, I was aware of a deep, striking pain within myself. It settled in my chest, buried deep, as though I’d replaced my stomach with Mjolnir. The ache was both sharp and dull, full and waning. It signaled that a harsh reality awaited me in the waking world. When I was dreaming it was like the pain had no anchor, no reason for tormenting me, as hapless and defenseless as a newly hatched bird.

When I’m half-awake, like I am now, I know why the pain is here, understand the presence of gut-wrenching guilt and searing hot shame and thus can accept them. I’m not sure which is worse to experience.

Sometimes I’m fully awake, being handed crackers or grapes or bottles of water by a person whose name I don’t know because I’m never cognizant long enough to catalog their face. Seconds later, I’m again drowning, pulled into the depths of my dreamscape.

My reality blurs and the cycle continues, vicious unto the end. And every time I wake, my cheeks are embarrassingly wet. It feels like weeks before I’m awake long enough to realize I’m not alone. That every time I wake, a new face is staring back at me from a different chair in my room.

I come to recognize them again in time. Wanda, Pietro, Bucky, Steve, Vision, even Peter. But never Tony.

I sit up for the first time after what feels like a month, though the limited aching emanating from my bones tells me, logically, that it’s only been a fraction of that time. One either side of my bed is a Maximoff. Wanda looks more concerned than wary. Pietro looks like a lion who caught the scent of an enemy pride.

“Go slowly Kaida,” Wanda urges, “you must be weak. It’s been a few days since you rejoined the land of the living. Her continued inquiries and entreaties fall on deaf ears. As vulgar as it now sounds in retrospect, I knew I had to move or else an accident would occur. I stumbled into my en suite, knowing even without needing to look that they would have removed anything that would have made a suitable weapon.

I also know that, should my biology betray any sign of shifting to make use of my abilities, F.R.I.D.A.Y. would alert the others and the full might of the Avengers would fall upon my head. And Wanda would have me back out in seconds. What couldn’t be stopped of measured for, of course, were things such as my superhuman hearing, that was currently picking up on the muffled conversation the twins were having in my bedroom on the other side of the bedroom door.

“Why are you blocking FRIDAY, we should be alerting the others that the prisoner is awake and ready for their attention.”

“Pietro! She’s not our prisoner,” Wanda reprimanded. “Besides, I wish to have a moment alone with the girl. Even if she is not a child of Strucker, she is what Hydra made her to be, somehow. I just… I’d like for her to have a sympathetic listener at first. We never got the benefit of the doubt. If you remember we weren’t exactly unwilling in our crusade against the Avengers.”

Pietro just grunted in agreement but remained tense at his sister's side. I quickly twisted off the faucet and reentered the bedroom. Rather than speak, Wanda simply patted the seat of the chair across from hers, indicating that I should take a seat. It was the gentlest command ever issued. I slid back until my shoulders brushed the high back of the chair.

Wanda opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off with a gesture of my hands. I leaned forward, extending my head towards her.

“Just look, let my mind answer your questions. I don’t know that I’d have the strength to or that we’d have the time before the others come charging in. If I’m going to die, I need at least one person to know and believe the truth. Maybe help persuade Captain Rogers to end my life swiftly. It’s more than I deserve.”

With that Wanda, eyes shining, placed her hands on my temples and breathed deeply as we were both transported to an infinitely darker place, many years ago.

Sinking through my memories was like drifting uncontrollably through a minefield. Tiny bursts of anguish shot through my mind as Wanda relived my upbringing with my sister, the house of horrors that was our home, being tapped to join Hydra and agreeing without ‘persuasion'. The missions, targets and our downfall. My sister's son. And finally, the mission that sent us both running for the hills...

The time since then. One dead-end job to another, sisters working to support each other, all while looking for the last remaining piece of our family. And, then that day had come. The snap and dust. Guilt flooding me and overwhelming a sense of horror as time passed.

Homeless until my… boyfriend. The horror that home turned into, one that I do still feel as though I deserved. Until one night he went too far and I left. The night Peter found me. Of course in the midst of all this, you had my ‘heroics' that mostly consisted of helping women out of situations I understood all too well. And that damned school. So Peter was looking for me at the behest of the Avengers after the most recent event had even landed on the front page of the New York Times.

My deeply buried need to have somewhere to call home, to have not just someone on my six but to have a family. All the emotions that Hydra and I, through my conditioning at their hands, thought of as compromising and weak.

I had agreed, understanding that I could play the role of Asset for the good guys for once, maybe correct some of the horrific circumstances I had had a hand in creating. My mission would be protecting others for the first time. Only in my wildest dreams had I imagined I'd ever have a family again, but they had begun to feel like home, in spite of the secrets I kept. Now that was ruined. That was inevitable, I reminded myself. Because of who I am, I could never have a family. I didn't deserve one.

“No,” Wanda said, interrupting our shared stream of thoughts, "not ruined, just a little, broken. They accepted us in time." Pietro nodded, eyes alighting on his sister and then on me. Curiosity burned in his soul-deep gaze. He leaned forward and used his abnormally large hand and rough fingers to cover his sister's hand, which I just realized was now twined in mine.

Connected like this, I felt the smallest flicker of hope come to life in me, setting my heart aflutter. Understanding and acceptance filled their eyes and I did tear up a little. I never expected this.

“You are not the monster your parents created. Nor the asset that Hydra trained. You are more than that Kaida. Let us help you find it. Find yourself.”

I nodded, leaning into her embrace as she gripped me by the shoulders and kissed my cheek.

At Wanda’s urging, I stepped into the shower, running my hand through my hair as nearly a week’s worth of grime was stripped off my body. I think it was safe to say that I’d never felt more confused and well, vulnerable in my life.

For the time being, I didn’t have a mission or a purpose. My handler, or the surrogate my mind had appointed was questionable at best now that all had been revealed. I didn’t like being left to my own mind and devices. Too many thoughts would rattle around inside my head. After a few hours, the twins left again, gentle eyes and kind reassurances.

Later and not seconds after my stomach rumbled with a fierceness I had forgotten it had, my door opened and a tray of food entered, held by Bucky, the Winter Soldier.

A/N: I’m uploading another chapter tonight that I am formatting and scheduling right flipping now so I don’t flake again. Really pumped for the new fic I’m starting though!

taglist: @peeterparkr @laurfangirl424 @private-bucky-barnes

#peter parker #adult peter parker #peter parker smut #peter parker x ofc #Peter Parker is an adult #tony stark #tony stark fanfic #tony stark smut #tony stark x ofc #Avengers #avengers fic #avengers fanfic #no endgame spoilers #several years after infinity war #infinity war fixit #endgame fixit #pietro maximoff #pietro is still alive #pietro maximoff x ofc #pietro x ofc #smut #mcu fic #mcu fanfic #tower fic #we've got comic book references too #hydra #enhanced ofc

[jbuffyangel]

Timeless 2x11 Reaction: “The Miracle of Christmas Part 1 and 2″

And thus Timeless is officially over. How did the writers fair with the series finale aka The Timeless movie? Pretty freakin’ fantastic.

Let’s dig in...

It’s been several months between Timeless’ Season 2 finale and their series finale tonight, so the writers wisely include a “Previously on Timeless.” We flashback to all their adventures while Unhappy Future Lucy (who looks a little scary if I’m being honest) narrates. It helps because I seriously forgot her mother is dead. (They kill Susanna Thompson on every damn show!)

The beginning is a little jarring because storylines I expected to happen in a season or two are all happening RIGHT NOW. My brain needs time to downshift, but I eventually adjust.

First things first - dealing with the third point in the love triangle, Garcia Flynn. Timeless isn’t interested in drawing out the shipper war because Wyatt and Lucy are kind of a mess. They require some screen time so they are fixed in a realistic manner. 

Scary Future Lucy gives Present Day Lucy and Wyatt her diary. Spoiler alert: Lucy hooks up with Flynn. Spoiler alert: They break up sometime down the road because she is really in love with Wyatt. They play out Lucy and Flynn’s entire relationship in under 3 minutes. I’m not joking when I say they breeze through three to four seasons worth of triangle.

I love Goran Visnjic, and while I adore Lucy and Wyatt, I was never opposed to Lucy and Flynn. I mean yeah he’s a murderer. That’s a real negative, but it’s friggin Goran Visnic. Have you seen this guy? He’s so hot. Where Dr. Luca goes so goes my nation.

Kidding aside, the writers convey the depth of Lucy and Flynn’s relationship with just a few lines, which is an impressive writing achievement. I love how Flynn is all “I can’t believe you date me because I tried to kill you a bunch of times.” HAHAHA. Classic. And true! Ah the joy of television romance. But it ain’t gonna be you Flynn, so mosey along big fella. 

Jessica is not pregnant. UGH. I HATED THIS STORYLINE SO MUCH. 

I appreciate the writers giving it a fast and hard death, but this is one of the ways I think Season 2 went wrong. Timeless is a show that defied the typical television tropes and that’s what made it so interesting in Season 1.  However, I think their Season 2 renewal, and desire to snare more viewers, created a “throw everything, but the kitchen sink” mentality. 

They used every romance trope they could think of in Season 2 to see what would stick. It was just... not good. I don’t blame Timeless anymore than I do any other show that does this (and it’s pretty much all of them). It was just disappointing to see the show move in this direction, when previously they’d been so good at avoiding those kinds of storylines.

Flynn sacrifices himself by going back to 2012 to kill Jessica, so Rufus never dies. REDEMPTION ARC BITCHES!!! YESSSS!! 

Seriously, he is so bad ass. Flynn puts a couple bullets in Jessica (plus one extra to be sure) after a ninja knockdown fight. He knows the effects of traveling to his own timeline will kill him... or something. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Then he watches 2012 Flynn with his beautiful and living family through a window before he dies. 

Flynn leaves a goodbye letter for Lucy that pretty much says he loves her, but he knows she loves Wyatt and he wants her to be happy. So yes, GARCIA FLYNN sacrifices himself for Rufus, ensures Lucy and Wyatt find the happy ending they deserve even though he is in love with Lucy, helps stop Rittenhouse and save the world. I AM SO EMO ABOUT MY BOY RIGHT NOW!

As for Lucy and Wyatt, they tiptoe around each other for most of the two hours. Wyatt thinks she ends up with Flynn and Lucy doesn’t want to be second choice. They are the only two who remember the Jessica history. Dear God, can we all forget too? Everyone is pretty much, “Why aren’t y’all together because y’all were together before and it was perfection?” So meta.

Wyatt almost dies in an explosion while delivering a baby during the fall of North Korea. Yes, you read that correctly. WYATT LOGAN IS HERE TO SAVE NATIONS AND DELIVER BABIES!

Lucy realizes she almost lost Wyatt and they are wasting time worrying about the past. 

This part of the finale feels really predictable to me. There’s no way they are killing off Wyatt, especially after Flynn dies. Lyatt is endgame, so the two characters dancing around it for so long feels like prolonging the inevitable.

“After that explosion I thought you were dead. And for a moment I saw my whole life without you and my world ended Wyatt.”

But damn though, what a speech Lucy gives him. 

Honestly, it is slightly annoying she did most of the talking because Wyatt is the one who screwed up. At least he offers up a “I wanted to pick you Lucy, but I felt I owed Jessica because she was my baby mama” explanation. Of course, we all knew this. 

Lucy accepts Wyatt’s “I am a big pine tree” explanation because facts. Things really get cooking with some Lyatt mistletoe kissing. 

Source:  sisterzelda

Ah, a time honored holiday trope I will never grow tired of. Then they have sex

BUT CUT AWAY TOO SOON! Boo NBC!

Rufus is alive, but doesn’t remember being dead. Jiya remembers Rufus being dead, but he doesn’t remember Jiya living in Chinatown for three years in the 1800s. I think. 

Jiya is concerned she’s no longer the woman Rufus fell in love with (re: see three years of trauma). I argue Rufus fell in love with a bad ass and Jiya is still most certainly one. It is frustrating how quickly they had to go through her physical and emotional trauma from Chinatown. Ugh, this is some seriously important drama that could have been a multiple season deep dive. Stupid cancellation.

Rufus and Jiya realize they are still perfect for each other, because they are perfect for each other. They start a company together and become billionaires saving the world. Jiya’s hair color is extremely pretty in the final scenes too. I feel this is very important detail to include. I heart them. 

Source:  katie-mcgraths

Lucy and Wyatt discuss how they don’t want to become scary Lucy and Wyatt from the future and THEY DON’T BECAUSE OF FLYNN. They get married, Wyatt works for Agent Christopher on special projects, and Lucy is a tenured history professor who focuses on important historical women. BECAUSE THERE AIN’T NO TIME FOR THE MEN! That’s right fellas. Drink your tea and wait your turn.

Unfortunately, Lucy is not able to get her sister Amy back. She gives an poignant speech about grief and loss, which could be the show’s mission statement. This is how you write a series finale:

"Everybody loses someone they love. And no matter how badly they want to they can't get them back. In spite of that they find a way to go on. That's everyone's history." 

What connects all of time is our humanity. We are born. We live. We love. We suffer grief, pain and loss. We find joy. We endure. This is the thread century after century. In the end, we aren’t so different after all. 

THEN LUCY AND WYATT GET MARRIED 

Source: @splitscreen

AND HAVE TWIN GIRLS NAMED FLYNN AND AMY. 

Source: @splitscreen​

ALERT!!!!!!!!!! MULTIPLES CONCEIVED! IT IS THE DREAM! EVERYTHING IS AMAZING!!!! 

The final scene is 2023 Lucy, Wyatt and Rufus traveling to 2014 to tell Garcia Flynn about the time machine. Lucy tells Flynn he doesn’t lose his humanity even though he never gets his family back. He is the hero the team and the world needs in the end. It connects the beginning and end of Timeless so seamlessly. This was probably always going to be the bookend. I just wish we had a few more seasons in between it.

They hint at a future time machine being invented by a young girl Rufus took an interest in at the science fair. The morality of the time machine is debated between Agent Christopher and Connor. She wants to destroy it, but Connor argues they need to keep it so they can stop others from abusing its power. You can’t un-invent something. Someone sooner or later will create the same technology Connor and Rufus did. They have a responsibility to make sure time travel is not abused and another Rittenhouse does not rise. So, the time machine is kept, covered, guarded and waiting.

Do I think we’ll see a resurrected Timeless about this girl and her time machine? No. I don’t. This is the last stop on the Timeless train and, while it was a wonderful ride, it is over. Actors are released from contracts. Writers, producers, crew, etc have all moved on to other gigs. It’s a freaking miracle they even made the movie. (Apropos episode title).

Timeless approached the series finale the correct way, which is what’s important to me. They didn’t leave a bunch of loose ends. The world was saved and I saw all our beloved characters living their happy lives in peace. I need to know these characters are going to be okay, so I can say goodbye. 

Thank you Timeless for the insightful way you approached history, your cast of wonderful characters, humor and unflinching honesty. I look forward to the streaming deal so I can rewatch again and again.

Source:  yasmin-khan

Stray Thoughts

The finale is one EPIC Lucy speech after another. My girl runs this show.

Nobody was dressed appropriately for a North Korea winter. 

It looked like the mother threw her newborn into Wyatt’s arms as her son came running to her. LOL Nice catch, soldier.

"I've loved you since the Alamo." Girl is that ever right. 

Don't mock. Saint Christopher is for REAL. He has helped me out of many jams.

Hahaha. Wyatt said m'am. That's how you know it's the end.

#timeless #timeless review #timeless series finale #timeless 2x11 #the timeless movie #lyatt #lucy preston #wyatt logan #rufus carlin #jiya marri #rufus x jiya

[thefinalcinderella]

Tsurune Book 1 Chapter 1-Yata no Mori (Part 2)

Not going to lie but this chapter nearly drove me crazy with the kyudo terminology. Luckily, there’s a lot of information in English about kyudo online (and surprisingly a lot in French as well) so I just want to give a huge hand to the people who share their kyudo knowledge online in easy to understand ways, you’re the real MVP.

I highly recommend opening the chapter in two tabs and scroll down to the translation notes at the bottom if you can since a lot of words won’t make sense if you don’t know what they mean. I’m still searching for a convenient, non-intrusive way to write the notes so if anyone has any ideas,  let me know.

Also I think I’m going to go on a break after this (yeah even though I promised to post this a lot sooner) cuz I’m still a little burned out from DIVE!!. I just hope the anime doesn’t air before I actually finish this book lol

Translation Notes

1. The Raiki Shagi and Shahoukun are two important ancient texts in modern kyudo. They are written in the front of the Kyudo Kyohon and provide a lot of the philosophy behind Kyudo.

2. Yoshimi Junsei is a famous archer of the Tokugawa Period (1603-1868) who wrote the Shahoukun.

3. Yazuka measurement (not to be confused with yakuza) is the distance from the center of the body to the tip of the middle finger of the left hand when standing upright. This measurement is used to determine proper bow size.

4. Kataboushi yugake is a type of archery glove that has a hard thumb cap (I think???) There are three-fingered, four-fingered and five-fingered types.

5. Kake gae no nai ( 掛け替えのない) is a Japanese saying that means “irreplaceable”.

6. “Makuuchi” is a term for shooting an arrow into the curtain.

7. Gyousha is the movements comprising the act of aiming the bow and shooting the arrow.

8. Oyaki is Japanese stuffed dumplings.

9. Yips is a disease that causes the loss of fine motor skills in athletes. It manifests as twitches and jitters and occurs a lot in sports like golf and darts.

Full list of translations here

Previous | Next

What was that?

Who was that?

He thought back to that breathtakingly beautiful shooting, and Fuu’s deep black eyes.

He tried searching online, but couldn’t find any search terms to enter. The kyudojo of Yata no Mori didn’t have a website, only having its name entered in a list of all the kyudojo in the prefecture. And because of the Personal Information Protection Act, the identity of the person who owned it could not be disclosed either. In that case, he should have asked the man for his name. But, what would he do if he did asked for it?

Minato was heading for the school’s entrance to go home after school. It was bright outside the open windows, and he could hear the sounds of people going to club activities. When he narrowed his gaze on the still distant sunset, the wind died down.

Then, his shoulder was grabbed from behind again. I guess I don’t need to check to see who it is anymore.

“…Ryouhei.”

“ ‘Sup Minato. What are you so dopey about?”

“Do you know how big you’ve gotten? You’re heavy.”

“Sorry, it’s just a habit.”

While apologizing, his hand remained on his shoulder. The other hand was waving at the people passing by.

Since elementary school, Ryouhei liked to join shoulders with other people. Minato disliked being clingy with people, but when he saw Ryouhei’s smile, he couldn’t turn him down, so he left it as it was. Even during the several times when Minato and Seiya fought, Ryouhei would squeeze between them and join shoulders, saying with teary eyes, “I get sad when you guys fight,” and then it became impossible to get angry. Minato had a bad feeling as he felt the similar emotions from those times.

“Isn’t it too early to go home? Let’s go to the kyudo club’s information session together.” Ryouhei said.

Minato replied without a moment’s delay, “No. I’m not going.”

“Alright, then at least listen to some of the information. Tomi-sensei has back pain so he can’t do the practical skills, so it looks like Seiya will be demonstrating them.”

“Ryouhei, did Seiya bribe you to do this?”

“It’s not like that. But, he told me to tell you this: ‘If you don’t come today, then I’ll never let you see Bear again.’ Did they finally start to keep a bear over there? Sweet.”

No, that’s really not something to be impressed about, Minato quipped in his mind.

“For me, Seiya’s the sage, and you’re the hero. You have a heroic saga too, don’t you? Hey, do you remember what happened on our kindergarten trip?”

“Trip? Oh, the one where the hornet landed on my arm, and I kept walking without shaking it off? But, that’s not a big deal. Even though the hornet kept approaching me, the teacher warned me repeatedly not to kill it with my hands.”

“That’s not it! It’s the one where you barehandedly caught the crayfish that I couldn’t touch. When I saw that, I was like, ‘This guy is cool!’”

Minato was completely drained, and placed his hand on his knee.

“Ryouhei, we aren’t in kindergarten or elementary school anymore.”

“How’s that different from being in high school?”

Ryouhei’s innocent gaze pierced Minato.

Minato was an only child, but he was got the illusion that the naughty younger brother, who had always followed behind him, had suddenly matured.

“Actually, when I was in the second-year of middle school, I accidentally saw you drawing your bow. When I saw that arrow firmly hitting the target, I was so excited. I thought that I want to draw like that too. I want to do kyudo together with you and the others—. You said that you were busy with chores at home, so I gave up the other day, but I guess if Seiya and I cooperate we’ll manage somehow? It took a lot of trouble to meet you like this. Just try to listen to the information first. And then can you make your conclusion?”

“Ryouhei, I’m…”

“I want to do kyudo with you…is that no good?”

Ryouhei’s ears seemed like they were drooping down dejectedly. Minato was never good at handling his juniors.

“…All right. But I’m only listening.”

Ryouhei’s face lit up. He couldn’t understand why Seiya involved him into this, but he couldn’t refuse that face. Minato hung his head in shame at his weak-minded self.

At that time, Seiya headed to the kyudojo with Tomi-sensei before everyone else.

Kazemai High School’s kyudojo was located inconspicuously in a corner of the schoolyard. For kinteki (close-range) tournaments, the range was twenty-eight meters, with room for six people to draw at the same time. Though it wasn’t being used, it was well maintained, thanks to Tomi-sensei’s hard efforts bringing in senior citizen personnel during spring break. Seiya only resumed breathing when his hand traced the nameplate that read “Kazemai High School Kyudo Club.”

They bowed once as they entered the kyudojo, and then went ahead and bowed twice in front of the kamiza. Being barefoot is strictly forbidden in the kyudojo, for the same reason entering someone else’s house barefoot is impolite.

To prepare the kyudojo, first apply water to the azuchi (target bank), and then place the targets with their centers twenty-seven centimeters above the azuchi. The targets used were kasumi-mato (mist targets), which were targets with a diameter of thirty-six centimeters where black concentric circles were drawn.

Next was preparing the kyudo equipment. The arrows were placed in the yatate-bako (arrow stand), and the bowstrings were stringed onto the bows. The height of the ha—the distance between the bow’s grip and the stringーwas about fifteen centimeters. There were dedicated tools for measuring that height, but Seiya measured it using his right thumb and said, “This is fine.” Then he went on to rub “ma-gusune” on the string. He did this by applying kusune, which was a boiled mixture of pine resin and oil, onto a small waraji woven from hemp strings, and then using it to neaten the loosened string by fusing it with friction. The saying “to be ready and waiting for (te-gusune o hiku, 手ぐすね引く)” definitely came from kyudo, but the use of kusune was different.

After he got that far, he changed clothes. Shooting a bow right after stringing it was a cause of bow damage, so it was necessary to make it adapt ahead of time.

Seeing Seiya turning towards the makiwara (straw practice targets), Tomi-sensei spoke.

“Oh, Takehaya-kun, where are your glasses?”

“I use glasses because I have dry eye, but I only use contacts when I’m drawing a bow. Before, the bowstring would get caught on my glasses and send them flying.”

“The lenses cracking would be pretty shocking. But, when people who normally wear glasses take them off, do you think it’s okay to be so defenseless?”

“I am seeing perfectly now. I am completely prepared for the attack, far from being defenseless.”

“I say, that’s frightening.”

“Tomi-sensei, thank you for inviting me to the kyudo club. I’ll definitely make your mission a success..”

“I’m counting on you. Fu-ho-ho!” Tomi-sensei laughed.

To Seiya, Tomi-sensei was a happy miscalculation. Before the entrance exams, he had already investigated that the Kazemai High School Kyudo Club was on the verge of disbandment. Minato probably knew that as well. So, he planned to revive the kyudo club with his own hands.

A favourable wind was blowing.

In order to stand at that place once more—.

Seiya encouraged himself, as an unseen power pressed against his back.

On this day, an information session titled “Introduction to Kyudo” was scheduled, and people began to trickle in. Probably twenty or thirty people of mixed genders. For the boys, their goals weren’t just being introduced to club activities.

“Don’t you think kyudo girls are hot?”

“Yep.”

However, with the entrance of one attention-attracting boy, the boys’ ambitions were abruptly destroyed.

“Sorry I’m late. Thank you for preparing everything.”

When greeted with cries of “Nanao-kuuun!” from the girls, he made peace　signs with his hands and waved at them. They then exchanged incomprehensible greetings of “Merha~” “Merha~.”

It was a boy with bright, somewhat unruly hair, and who seemed like his whole body was shining beams of light. He was swinging a quiver in his hand, which was more a “pearls before frogs” accessory than “pearls before swine.”

Seiya set his bow down, and waved Nanao over.

“You’re Kisaragi Nanao-kun, right? My name’s Takehaya Seiya, and I’ll be with you today, nice to meet you. The frog on that quiver is pretty funny.”

“Oh, this is nice, right? Right now my room’s full of frogs. Oh, you can just call me Nanao.”

“All right, please call me Seiya as well. By the way, what was that ‘Merha’ you said just a while ago?”

“It’s short for ‘Merhaba.’ It’s Turkish for hi.”

While wondering why Turkish, Seiya let it pass. This was probably the reason why he was popular with girls. It wasn’t a type you saw much among boys who did kyudo.

When he picked up his bow and quiver, another person who didn’t seem to belong in a kyudojo appeared.

It was a boy with healthy, suntanned skin. Because of his sharp eyes, he was more a wild person rather than a refreshing sports boy, and a somewhat hard-to-approach aura floated around him. Even the girls who surrounded Nanao quickly backed away to surround him from a distance.

“Nanao, don’t block the entrance. Let me in right now.”

“Ehh, Kacchan, you’re so impatient~”

“Stop calling me Kacchan.”

“But aren’t you Kacchan, Kacchan? I can’t call you anything else at this point.”

“This sucks, having to be in the same high school as you, and then in the same club.”

“Aren’t you joining the soccer club? Didn't the guys in the soccer club ask you ‘What position did you play in middle school?’ on the first day?”

“I’m not joining the soccer club, I’m set on the bow. I’m different from the guys who started kyudo just to wear a hakama, like you.”

“I look pretty cool in a hakama. Of course, it’s not for show. Today, I have to show the girls my charming figure. That’s why, Kacchan, you should work hard too.”

“The only one I don’t want to be told that by is you.”

Noticing Seiya being taken aback, Nanao formally introduced him.

“This here’s Onogi Kaito. My cousin.”

“Onogi-kun, I’m Takehaya. Nice to meet you.”

“…I’ve seen you at a match before. What’s your middle school?”

“Really? It’s a private school, so it’s not around here, and I don’t think you’d recognize the name even if I told you. But putting that aside, I want to start soon, so the two of you should go change your clothes first. I’ll keep your bow strung.”

Kaito looked like he wanted to say something, but he entrusted his equipment to Seiya and headed for the waiting room (hikae shitsu).

The first round of Introduction to Kyudo has begun.

Seeing Minato and Ryouhei among the gathered people, Seiya murmured, “Ryouhei, good job.” under his breath.

Tomi-sensei cleared his throat.

“Everyone, relax your feet. This is a good gathering. It seems that I’m popular. I’m blushing.”

A laughter that said “That corny introduction is enough, so please quickly get on with it” rang out.

“Well then, first, some requests. Kyudo is a martial art. You need to respond with spirit. And then, this is essential, but if you nock an arrow to the bow, you absolutely cannot point it at other people, even as a joke. Even if you did not intend to release it, it can lead to a serious accident. Also, absolutely do not take the arrow off the bow to 'dry fire' it, as there’s the danger of snapping the bowstring. You must always obey these rules.”

And then, they chanted in unison the “Raiki Shagi” and the “Shahoukun” (1) that were printed on the right hand side of the kyudojo (TN: this is called wakishoumen or position where one is facing the kamiza and the targets are to the left). The former began with “The shooting, with the round of moving forward or backward can never be without courtesy and propriety. After having acquired the right inner intention and correctness in the outward appearance, the bow and arrow can be handled resolutely,” an inscription mainly preaching the ideals of kyudo. The latter began with “The way is not with the bow, but with the bone, which is of the greatest importance in shooting,” written by Yoshimi Junsei (2), and was mainly the dying instructions of his technique.

Tomi-sensei asked one of the students in the front row, “Do you understand the meaning?”

“No, not at all.”

“I was also completely clueless about what was written in the beginning. But as I kept practicing, I thought that 'Oh, this is what that was talking about.' You can look forward to that as well.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And, this is also a breath control technique. As reading out loud is a way to continuously exhale, this action will enhance your parasympathetic nerves and relieve tension. A good presence of mind is essential for drawing a bow. Isn’t it hitting two birds with one stone to learn the essence of kyudo and do breath control?”

“I seeee.”

The voices were overlapping each other.

It was Ryouhei’s and Nanao’s. Nanao had at some point sat down next to Ryouhei, and they were giggling as they looked at each other. Minato and Kaito, who were on both sides of the two, had sour looks on their faces.

Tomi-sensei held up the kyudo equipment.

“There are three main equipment necessary for kyudo. The bow and arrow, and the ‘yugake’ (archer’s glove). It is a glove made of deer skin used for protecting the hands. Most students use the three-fingered yugake. Now, let’s see the actual shooting technique. Tournaments are done with three or five people. Today we’ll have three people.”

Seiya, Kaito and Nanao got up. At that moment, a visitor came and informed them that sorry for the interruption, but Nanao was being summoned over the school PA system.

“Really? Did I do something? Sorry, Tomi-sensei, but I have to leave for a while. If you like, please replace me with someone else.”

Tomi-sensei looked around when the girls said things like, “Eh—, if Nanao-kun isn’t going to draw a bow then should we just go home?”

“Well, there was another person with experience here. What’s more, he’s a good-looking guy. Narumiya-kun, you can choose to change into a hakama or not, just try drawing the bow for a little bit.”

After a pause, Minato exclaimed, “What!?”

“I can’t. I haven’t held a bow for more than half a year already.”

“I just want you to show everyone how it’s done. The equipment is borrowed, so everyone naturally understands that you won’t be able to strike well. Everyone wants to see him shoot, right?”

Because they all applauded at once, Minato was cornered into a hard-to-refuse situation.

While waiting for Minato to get ready, the others were touching the kyudo equipment. Tomi-sensei and the others moved to the wall.

Kaito took an arrow and approached Minato.

“Since it’s troublesome to have the bowstring caught on your buttons, change into a gym uniform and put on a chest protector (muneate). What was the draw strength of the bow you used? Hold out your left arm so I can do the yazuka measurement.” (3)

“Hey, hey wait a minute. I never said that I was going to draw it. Right, I heard that Ryouhei also drew a bow in class when he was in middle school.”

“Even if he did it in class, it was still dangerous. Plus, Tomi-sensei said that it’s natural that you won’t be able to hit anything, and nobody cares about your skill.”

“It’s not that, it’s not that at all…”

“This is getting annoying. Just do the one or two things you’re asked to do. Aren’t you ashamed to be not much of an archer?”

Minato became speechless at the word “archer.”

Kaito took that as acknowledgement, and used Minato’s throat as a starting point to verify the length of the arrow. If it was too short, there was the danger of accidental discharge when the arrow was pulled towards the inside part of the bow.

Seiya stood next to Minato.

“Let’s trying shooting at the makiwara first. If that seems impossible, you can decline. Though the club has some as equipment, what will you do for the yugake?”

“…I’m fine.”

“All right. It’s a waste of time to go back to the classroom to get your gym clothes, so I will lend mine to you.”

Minato changed into the t-shirt and jersey, and took out the dragonfly-patterned pouch from his bag. Inside was a well-used yugake. The other day, when Seiya had said that he was carrying around a treasure, he was referring to this.

There are people who think that when shooting a bow, the end of the arrow was pinched and pulled back, but in fact, the thumb was used to hook the bowstring and pull it. Minato used a three-fingered kataboushi yugake (4), and the groove at the base of the thumb where the bowstring is hung from was called the tsurumakura. Since the position and form differed slightly depending on the yugake, it was difficult to use something unfamiliar. “Kake gae no nai” (5) was an expression that came from kyudo, with the “kake” meaning yugake.

Minato put on his shitagake (under glove) and yugake, applied giriko (glove powder) to his middle finger to prevent slipping, making a squeaking sound.

As he stood in front of the makiwara, his heart was striking the alarm bells. Although he never failed to do muscle training and rubber bow practice, this was actually the first time in a while that he had held a bow.  The anxiety of not knowing whether his movements were correct or not grew stronger. However, his body moved by itself, and before he knew it he had already nocked his arrow.

He performed gyousha (7). He carefully drew the bow back to its limit. When he drew the bow back to its fullest position, “kai,” Minato counted.

One, two, three, four, five—.

The arrow left Minato’s hand, and hit the center of the makiwara.

When he set down his bow, Tomi-sensei called out to Minato.

“Ooh, you have a beautiful form. If that’s the case then you’re fine.”

Minato tightly pressed his lips together, and took out the arrow embedded into the makiwara. When he exhaled on his shoulder, Seiya, who was watching attentively from a little distance away, also sighed heavily in the same way.

Once they finished preparations, Seiya, Minato, and Kaito lined up at the entrance in that order. It was the beginning of nyuujou (entering the dojo).

They bowed, then moved forward with their feet scraping the floor. They turned towards their respective targets, and then briefly sat down and gave a shallow bow. Their lined-up position at this moment was called honza. When they stood up, they got into the position for shooting and then sat down again. This position was referred to as shai, the position where one shot from their sitting position was called “zasha,” and the position where one was always standing was called “rissha.”

As the three of them nocked their arrows together, Tomi-sensei began to explain.

“As you can see, aren’t they nocking two arrows? Those two arrows are called ‘hitote,’ shot in the order of haya (first arrow), and then otoya (second arrow). First up is Takehaya-kun. The first person to shoot is called the ‘oomae.’”

When he was called, Seiya stood up with his nocked bow. He spread his feet, set the bow on his left knee, and removed his right hand from around his waist. With that as his cue, Minato, who was second, also stood up, and followed Seiya’s movements.

Seiya took the bowstring with his right hand, gripped the bow with his left, and faced the target again. He raised both arms in front of his body, slowly bringing the arrowhead to the center of the target. The exact moment when the bow was taut was the highlight of kyudo. The cross shape formed by the person and the bow conferred a pleasant tension to the viewer, and of course the person themselves.

One, two, three, four, five—.

It hit the center. An ooh sound went up.

With Seiya’s tsurune as a signal, Minato got his bow into the uchiokoshi position. Everyone thought that Minato’s arrowhead would slowly approach the center of the target as well.

However, the arrow left Minato’s hands early, not aimed at the center of the target at all, and it landed a great distance before the target. “Before the target” meant the right-hand side, and “behind” it meant the left. Since the arrow was released at a speed as though he was startled out of his wits, the kyudojo became noisy in an instant. Some people were looking at each other with expressions that said, “What was that?”

Tomi-sensei spoke playfully, “Were you nervous so many beautiful ladies here? Whether you hit or miss, having a poker face is one of the basics. It is courtesy with regards to others to not show emotions. Unlike archery, you can gain a point just by hitting the target anywhere. You only either hit or miss. Well then, the person who goes last is called the ‘ochi.’”

Kaito should have used Minato’s tsurune as a cue to get his bow into the uchiokoshi position, but he had to be told to do it. He drew the bow to its limit, and waited for the moment of hanare, but the arrow missed the target.

In the second round, the arrow that Seiya released went behind the target. Having finished shooting the arrows he had in his hand, he began the process of taijo (exiting the dojo), but Minato didn’t move. The raging palpitations of his heart, and pulsations at the back of his neck were deafening. He cautiously got his bow into uchikoshi, and seemed to be drawing it close to the target on the lawn, but he couldn’t breathe.

I can’t let go, I absolutely cannot let go—.

Minato repeated that many times in his heart. He pulled the arrow to half of its length, and then tried to draw it even wider from there, but the arrow flew out again while he was doing that, and it went high above the target, hitting the curtain that was covering the azuchi.

In the end, Kaito managed to hit the target, and it ended with a total of six shots, with two targets of 1:0:1.        

“It’s more difficult than it looks to hit the target in kyudo. That’s why, it is such a pleasure when you do hit it. As I’m thinking of everyone learning together, people who are interested are sure to gather here tomorrow as well.”

After they were dismissed by Tomi-sensei’s words, Kaito waited for Minato to finish changing clothes before approaching him.

“Oi, Narumiya. What was with those earlier shots… Even though the ‘makuuchi’ (6) can’t be helped, why did you do it so early? Since you shot it so early, I couldn’t even get into yugamae in time.”

“Hey, didn’t I say that I couldn’t do it from the beginning? I didn’t mean to release it so soon.”

“Hah? What a lame excuse. You shot normally at the makiwara. But as soon as you stood in front of the target, you did those messy shots. Aren’t you ashamed as an archer?”

“…Oh, I am. I’m already not an archer anymore… Move, I’m going home now.”

Minato shook off Kaito, and walked quickly towards the exit.

“Minato, are you coming tomorrow? …Since I’ll be waiting for you.”

“You don’t have to, since I already stopped doing kyudo!”

Standing next to Seiya as they watched Minato run off, Tomi-sensei whispered to him.

“Takehaya-kun, is it possible that…”

“…He has hayake.”

Minato mounted his bike and sped off without looking anywhere but ahead.

It began to rain. Gripping the wet, slippery handlebars tightly, he pushed his bike on and ascended the steep hill road. His tail lamp left a trail of red afterimages on the gleaming asphalt, and the sound of car tires repelling the water overtook it. When he saw the torii, he stopped his bike and entered Yata no Mori.

At the Yata no Mori Kyudojo, the man was standing on the other side of the bamboo fence of the outdoor stands. As if so that the man would not find him, he crouched down on the spot to watch him. Maybe because of the humidity being high due to the rain, the clear tsurune from before couldn’t be heard, but the shots he sent out from his relaxed limbs were still beautiful. Deviation-free movements that were somewhat liberated. And yet, there was also a somewhat solemn feeling.

It was as though he was performing a prayer.

What would I wish for on a night where the moon and stars couldn’t be seen?

Suddenly, he met eyes with the man. Was it natural to spot him because the other side was on a higher ground?

The man made a scissors gesture with his yugake-covered right hand, and casually beckoned him over. Minato didn’t refuse him, simply staring vacantly at that gesture without using his brain. Then, the man placed his bow at his feet, and then went to the edge of the shajo and crouched down. “Come, boy,” he beckoned him with both hands.

It’s like he’s—.

“I am not a dog or a cat.”

“Well then, come here quickly. A soaking wet boy in the dark looks like a ghost from here, so it’s really scary.”

“I don’t want to make the shajo dirty.”

“It’s fine, it can just be mopped up later. You’re going to mop it up, right?”

He laughed, just like that night. Minato went up to the shajo, still dripping wet. The man picked up his bow lying on the ground and left that spot, then returned with a wrapped packet in his hand.

“Take off your clothes and dry them out, since I’m lending you this beginners’ training uniform. The men’s changing room is right in front of the reception desk. Also, you don’t need to be so formal with me.”

After he changed his clothes and returned, the man was sitting in a corner of the shajo. The spots where Minato dripped on were also completely wiped clean. “There you are,” he said, handing him a can of coffee that had a flame design on it this time.

Minato cupped the can with both hands.

“…It’s hot.”

“It gets cold at night. Oh, I have something good. Do you want to eat it too?”

When he wondered what was going to appear, it turned out to be oyaki (8). With red bean paste. Minato tossed the sweet oyaki into his mouth, downing it with the canned coffee.

After finishing his drink, the man began to adjust his bowstring’s nakajikake (nocking area). The groove of the arrow’s nock was slightly bigger than the bowstring’s thickness. In order to make it easier to nock the arrow, glue was applied to the bowstring and then it was wrapped in hemp, before it was adjusted to a reasonable thickness.

Minato looked up at the night sky and muttered, “Is it impossible for Fuu to come since it’s raining today?”

“Yeah, I’m going to call him on the next sunny day. Your shoulder is the perfect perch for him after all.”

“I’m not an ornament. By the way, how long do you do this for?”

“It was supposed to be until around nine P.M., but I only seem to be using it in the daytime recently. When I use it, I take the key out of the mailbox, then place the fee on the reception desk. 50 yen for an hour. Apparently couples sneak in here at night, since there’s no one here.”

“And this is supposed to be a sacred dojo…”

“You don’t seem to have much experience in that area. Shall I teach you the basics?”

“You perverted old man.”

The man grinned, as he used two small wooden block-like objects, called douhou, to tighten the nakajikake firmly. Thinking that he was restarting his practice, he instead said something unexpected.

“I get the feeling that you’re experienced with kyudo. Do you wanna try shooting a bow for a bit?”

“Um, no thanks.”

“Don’t be shy. Didn’t you come here because you want to shoot a bow?”

“I said, no thanks!”

Minato came to his senses at his own raised voice.

“…Sorry, I’m going home now.”

“Before you go, it’s okay for you to let out whatever you want here. Telephone lines don’t even pass through this kyudojo, so it’s a place isolated from the modern world in a sense. I’m someone who doesn’t exist in your reality. What you say now will never be told to anyone other than me.”

The man waited for Minato’s reply.

A long time passed, and Minato squeezed out the words, as if he was gasping them out.

“How are you able to do such beautiful shots? …I got ‘hayake’ in my last middle school tournament, and after that…I’ve gotten scared of shooting a bow.”

Hayake was a condition where one shoots an arrow even though one hasn’t decided on it. Without arriving at kai, the arrow was shot in the midst at drawing the bow apart. It was said to be a serious affliction in kyudo, much like the yips disease in golf. (9)

“After I lost in the tournament, I resumed practicing. Even though I could endure standing in front of the makiwara, I couldn’t last even one second in front of the targets. My own body wasn’t listening to what I was telling it at all. The more I think that I must not shoot it, the more the arrow slips from my hands. Before long, even drawing the bow became scary. Staying like that, I caused trouble for everyone.”

When he first joined the club, he had a senpai who could hit very well. Someone who could have served as the team captain. However, when that person got hayake, the club had dropped out right before the prefectural tournament. It was a mystery at the time. Why did he let go so quickly? What made him let go even though he didn’t want it to? He must be a weak-spirited person.

Now that he himself was in that position, he finally understood. Even though he was scolded by his sensei with “Why are you releasing it?” even though he was criticized by his teammates with “You’re shooting it too early,” he couldn’t do anything on his own. It was exactly like a disease. Before he knew it, nobody said anything. He knew that they had given up on him.

“And so, I quit just like that. Today, I held a bow for the first time in half a year. I was hoping that it might have been healed, but I was still no good… This is so uncool, right? This is what a talentless hack is like.”

“I see, that must have been so painful for you.”

Minato raised his head in surprise.

What did he say just now?

Painful? Was I in pain?

He reflexively guarded his eyes. It was the best he could do to withstand the things that were welling up.

The fear from the appearance of the hayake was similar to drowning in a muddy stream, but not everyone could sympathize with it.

“…Could I ask for your name? I’m Minato, Narumiya Minato.”

“Takigawa Masaki. Since I’m mostly called ‘Masa-san’, I’ll call you Minato as well.”

“Masa-san, I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to do kyudo anymore. I don’t want to reconfirm my unsightly self. So when my dad told me to take the entrance exams for a public high school because our finances were tough, I thought I was saved. With that, I didn’t have to continue on with the private school I was attending, so that was a justification for quitting kyudo. But even so, I couldn’t stop running and doing muscle training. It feels like the bow is trying to call me back…”

—The tsurune is calling me.

The number of promises that he had failed to fulfill had become his fetters. Will you abandon everything and run away? The heroics of Minato that Ryouhei talked about were in the past, and nowadays he was the same as a warrior scurrying back home after losing a battle.

“But you still want to draw a bow. Am I right?”

“…Yeah. But how can I recover from hayake…?”

“You’re looking at someone who overcame hayake right now.”

Masa-san grinned.

Previous | Next

#tsurune #tsurune translation

[nastysub]

Fleshlight Girl

(Sorry if this is too dark 🥴 my brain said make this- fantasy only, unless… 😳 👀 lol nvm🙅🏻‍♀️ well…. 👀👀) umm don’t look at me 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 [also i was struggling to finish it organically and the ending got a little corny which might be more embarrassing than the whole rimming segment]

I awaited my Sir impatiently as he stirred blissfully in bed. I sat naked on a soft blanket covered in cum stains in a small dog cage beside his bed. It was just big enough for me to sit with my legs folded. He wanted to see how long I could last subsisting on his cum alone.

This was a fun game but my stomach growled constantly and he could only cum so many times a day. He’d say I have to work for it if I want to eat. I could tell he grew tired of cumming twice a day for four days now because it was getting harder and harder to receive my only meal. When he was feeling especially cruel he’d lead me on all fours to service his cock under the dining room table while he ate with his husband as they both ignored me.

They would also fuck in front of me while I was in my cage and he’d finish over me and watch me lick his cum dripping through the bars. I am eternally grateful to be their plaything even when they’re sadistic and mockingly telling me where I missed a spot. As hungry for real food as I was, receiving this much cum was quite a privilege.

Today was his day off so I prayed desperately that he would give me his cum first thing in the morning. I watched with longing and a small amount of jealousy as the sweet couple unconsciously cuddled into each other in their warm bed as I shivered quietly in my cramped metal prison. My stomach was growling louder now and that must have finally woke him because he flipped over to smirk at me. I imagined he was telepathically calling me pathetic.

I waited wordlessly as my couple leisurely went through their morning routine, ignoring me completely save that one equally flirtatious and insulting glare. Finally my Sir clipped my collar and leash on and led me to the living room where he had porn turned on and his husband lay on the other end of the couch with a vibrator buzzing between his legs. I dipped my head to engulf his dick in my mouth, desperately hungry and impatient for my first meal of the day, but before I could get a taste he slapped me sharply across the face.

“Ah ah ah, I didn’t say you could do that yet.” I whimpered at him as a single tear fell down my cheek. “I don’t think I have any more cum for you today, but I have something else you can do.” I didn’t realize how hungry and emotional I was from this arrangement and from not orgasming myself this whole time and more tears fell as I realized I probably wouldn’t get to eat today.

He slouched into the sofa and pulled his legs to his chest and yanked my leash so I my face was an inch away from his ass. I was so deliriously hungry and horny even that seemed appetizing. Mentally, I was chastising myself for being so disgusting to have such a thought. He looked down at me knowingly, “If you eat my ass good enough I might let you cum and have a real meal.”

I didn’t need any more encouragement and dived right in. My hunger and desperation ate away the last little bit of dignity I had reserved for myself and I sloppily tongued him open while he casually touched himself, still only half hard from all the cum I took from him the last couple days. I eagerly lapped away.

Soon my face was covered in spit and I was making pathetic whines and muffled whorish moans as he held my hair tightly to pull me closer. He was fully hard and my eyes lit up, I sucked on his balls thoroughly and went up to his dick only to get another sharp slap across the face. That one really stung and I was crying again.

“Not yet, get back to work.” I whimpered and sobbed as I continued to probe into him. My legs were tightly rubbing together and I could feel the wetness drip between my thighs. This obscene show was making me ravenously horny and I craved his cum so wantonly. He wouldn’t let me stop to witness his husband’s orgasm but the delightful sound of moans filled the room and that was enough to make me stop crying.

My Sir was also effected by this and started touching himself more vigorously, bouncing his balls onto my nose with every stroke. That only served to make me more horny and I pulled my legs tighter together but it still wasn’t enough to get any stimulation. My tongue was getting tired and my jaw ached but I didn’t dare stop.

I felt his husband move behind me and slip his clever fingers into my folds. He is so good with his hands I moaned loudly but the sound was muffled by being face deep into my Sir. After these last couple of days I was loopy with arousal and after a couple pumps of his fingers I was already close.

Watching me trying frantically not to cum must of sent my Sir over the edge. He abruptly ripped me away from him and painted my face in cum. I kept my mouth open but missed more than I got on my face.

He laid in afterglow and generously let me wipe the cum on my face into my mouth. They pulled me into their laps on the couch and held me and gave me kisses on the cheek. After my Sir caught his breath he fingered me to orgasm after orgasm. I, of course screamed like a banshee and squirted on his hand as he cheered me on. After cuddling on the couch for a good long while we made breakfast together and ate it peacefully. I am once again in awe at what amazing lays they are and basking in appreciation of their friendship.

#🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

[theladyofdeath]

Kings and Queens {ch 10}

Summary: A Throne of Glass AU inspired by the Breakfast Club (1985). Five students come together for Saturday detention, and realize they are not all that different. You can read previous chapters here.

Author’s Note: We are officially two-thirds of the way done with this fanfic. The last five chapters will be longer, and more intense, as we dive into deeper details of these characters and their stories. I hope you will enjoy those, and this! Let me know what y’all think. :)

I had made them dinner, and they hadn’t even come home to eat it. Forty-five minutes later, after wasted time spent cleaning up wasted food, I had gone up to my bedroom and slammed the door.

Not that it mattered.

No one else was home.

As always, I was alone.

My back had just hit the mattress when a chime came from my laptop.

He had come to keep me company, at last.

WarriorPrince1: I had a dream last night.

SnowLeopard: Most people do dream. Lol.

SnowLeopard: About what?

WarriorPrince1: You.

As my face reddened, I suddenly felt ridiculous. I didn’t even know him.

Did I?

SnowLeopard: You’re making me blush, mystery man.

WarriorPrince1: I’m serious! It was a good dream, too.

SnowLeopard: Fine.

SnowLeopard: Tell me what happened, if it was soooo good.

WarriorPrince1: We danced, with our feet in the ocean, just as the sun was setting.

WarriorPrince1: Then we kissed, and it was perfect.

SnowLeopard: How did you know it was me? You don’t even know what I look like.

WarriorPrince1: It was you. Trust me, cat woman, it was you.

I shut my laptop before I could fall deeper into the pit I had already hit the bottom of.

I was falling in love with a stranger.

  Lysandra.

11:10 a.m.

To say I was terrified would be an understatement.

The only kiss I ever had was with a random kid in the first grade. He came up to me on the playground, behind the swing set, and planted one on me. It was awful. All I remember, aside from the horrible smell of garlic, was punching him in the face afterward.

This was a little bit different.

I wanted to kiss Aedion, although I was shocked when I found out he was WarriorPrince1. I had dreamed of the moment we would meet a thousand times, and I could honestly say that every single time I had imagined it, Aedion Ashryver was nowhere in the picture.

He had a reputation. He was a ladies’ man, a womanizer. He was the quarterback, first string, of the Havilliard High football team. He couldn’t go to the grocery store without someone, whom he had never even met, giving him a high five and wishing him good luck.

He was, without a doubt, the complete opposite of me.

And yet, there he was, asking if he could kiss me.

And, maybe I was stupid, but I had said yes.

I would probably get my heart broken. I was too hopeful, too naïve, too unaware of whatever tragic ending was coming my way.

And it would be tragic, too. People like him did not end up with people like me.

Online, though…..Online, he was the perfect man. He was the boy in every romance novel I had ever read, the sweet melody in every love song that had ever graced my radio.

He was the yellows, the reds, the blush, the magenta, the lavender, the tangerine in every painting of a sunset I had ever painted.

He was my person. I had let myself believe that for a year. That this person, who I had only talked to online, was my soulmate. I had fallen in love with someone who I had never even met.

Yet, he was standing there in front of me, his hands gently resting on my hips, his lips mere inches from mine, and I found it too good to be true.

I took a chance, though. A leap of faith in the person who I had spoken to, every day. The person who I had spilled my heart to, over and over and over again, as if my life depended on releasing myself to him.

As soon as I could smell the fresh mint of his breath against my mouth, my lips parted in wanting, in need.

“Lysandra.” My name was a question, a confirmation of what he had already asked.

“Just kiss me,” I replied, but it was nothing more than a whisper. I was trying to sound confident, although I knew it was everything but.

Still not prepared, I froze when his lips pressed tenderly against mine. They were soft, and gentle, and nothing like I expected them to be.

He pulled away, just slightly, turquoise eyes alight and searching mine for any sort of reaction.

Instead of responding with simple words, I lifted myself up on my tiptoes and allowed my mouth to fall into his.

He was taken back at first, stunned and unsure of what was happening, I’m sure….but, it didn’t take long for him to get comfortable.

Time stopped as a strange, fluttery sensation in which I had never experienced before enveloped me.

The same hands that were made to handle a football and guide a paintbrush attached to the back of my thighs, just beneath my ass, and lifted me up so that my legs could easily wrap around his lean waist.

“Please don’t shut me out,” he mumbled, in between kisses. He carried me over to the sink and sat me on top of the cold, hard countertop. “Give me a chance.”

Golden hair fell down to his shoulders, and my fingers gladly swept through the thick, silky strands. Pressing my forehead against his, I shook my head.

His eyes were closed, and I was thankful for that. If they were open, if I could see their beauty, their pleading, I wouldn’t be able to think clearly. I could barely think as it was, with his wandering hands slithering up the sides of my sweater.

“You’re thinking too much,” he said, his words barely audible above the humming of the florescent lights.

“You’re not thinking enough,” I responded, half-heartedly. “You’re not thinking it through.”

“Can’t you just live in the moment?” This time, his eyes did open, and I couldn’t respond. “Couldn’t you just listen to your heart? We know each other, Lysandra. You know me. You know who I am. You want to be with me, you want to give this a shot, I know you do.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Let it be that easy,” he pleaded, pressing a soft kiss to my nose. “Let me love you, and protect you, and take care of you. Let me prove to you that I can be the guy –“

“You’re not that guy, though,” I said, tears filling my eyes for some stupid, unknown reason. I hated myself for showing emotion, for allowing him to witness this side of me. I had already gone too far. I had already let him steal a piece of me. “Your –“

“Let me show you that I am the same guy,” he said, lifting up my chin to meet his gaze. I would have never guessed that Aedion Ashryver could be so serious. “I am that guy, the person you have come to know, and trust, and….care for. Give me a chance.”

I wanted to, and that was the part that terrified me.

I didn’t have much time to think on it, though, because a soft vibration came from my bag.

“Aedion.“

“Gods, I love it when you say my nam –“

“No, Aedion!” He paused once my voice had become panicked, as I began to dig through my purse. Once I located my phone, and the time was lit up on the small, cracked screen before me, I hopped off the counter and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the door. “We need to go. Now. Quickly.”

After a series of curses, he obeyed.

We ran.

The hallways were still silent, which was a good sign, although we were nowhere near the cafeteria. As we darted around the corner, hand in hand, we spotted Rowan and Aelin not far ahead.

“Hey!” Aedion shouted in a hushed tone.

Aelin stopped and spun around. Noticing his hand in mine, she gave Aedion a curious look.

See, I wanted to tell him. It’s already starting and it’s been ten minutes.

“Fireheart -,” Rowan urged, then his face paled as if it had been a mistake. Shaking his head, he corrected, “Aelin, we need to hurry.”

“What’s the time?” Aedion asked, as we caught up to them, the four of us going from a hasty walk to a jog. He hadn’t even noticed Rowan’s mistake. 

“Eleven twenty-five,” I muttered, tossing my cellphone into my bag for good. “We’ve got five minutes to make it to the other side of campus.”

“Maybe she’s running late,” Aelin suggested, although her voice told us she was doubting her statement. “Maybe she’s still in the meeting. We probably have plenty of time.”

“It’s the probably that will get us detention next Saturday,” Aedion mumbled, “and every Saturday after that.”

Rowan kept silent the whole time, his complexion still slightly green. Fireheart, he had called her. Not only a nickname, but one of love and affection.

The criminal and the prom queen.

Who would have guessed?

 As we approached the hallway that ran by the gym, a soft, male voice began to fill the air.

“Shit,” Aedion breathed, and the rest of us did not protest as the door to the gymnasium was thrown open.

We froze, my stomach sinking to the tips of my toes as a figure emerged -

“Dorian!” Aelin cried, letting go of Rowan’s shoulder, which she had squeezed in anticipation. “Where have you been? I would have figured you’d be back in the library by now. We have to hurry!”

Dorian looked a little calmer than he had earlier, not as uptight, not as scared. I found myself wondering what epiphany he’d had while he was off on his own in the halls of Havilliard High. He had removed his sweater, and was now wearing a plain, white t-shirt with his khakis. “Follow me!”

We did. We had no choice but to put our faith in the kid that knew that school’s halls the best out of any of us.

At least, that’s what we were hoping for. 

We ran, sprinted in silence. The only sound was that of our feet against the tiled floor.

Aedion had kept my hand wrapped in his the entire time, not loosening his grip for even a second.

As we were almost to the main door, in which we had come through, Dorian stopped us, putting up a hand as he peeked around the corner.

When he turned to face us once more, pure fear was in his deep, blue eyes.

It was then that I heard the clicking of her bulky high-heels approaching. 

@bigbangt1963  @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @sarah-akhavan@gcarroll@kortanna@nightquart @notjustanyoldfangirl @superhuman-imagines@iwouldtrusthagridwithmylife@callmeladytypewriter@saybell1994@2-bookmaster-2 @eye-of-elena @shadowsinger-fireheart@inejcalmarekaz@viridiantopaz @books-are-friends-not-objects@raven-the-dark-titan @theantisocialbookworm310 @whydoyoucareaboutmyusername

#tog #throne of glass #aedion #lysandra #lysaedion #dorian #aelin #rowan #rowaelin #fanfic #fanfiction #fic #empire of storms #the breakfast club