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the-gentleman-pining · 7 months

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Decided to rewatch OFMD S2 eps 1-3 and actually jot down my thoughts as I go! Oh what fun! Ngl this is mostly for me babes but if you enjoy it that's neat ❤️

Episode 1: Impossible Birds

Stede bearded in his dream could just be playing to swashbuckling archetypes for funsies, but is it some lingering wish that he was more masculine?

Con O'Neil truly graceful about it with the sword huh

"WHERE IS HE. WHERE'S ED?" Stede seeing Izzy as the thing that is keeping Ed from him when he's the one that left lol ok

His idealised version of Ed doesn't hold him accountable either. My mans doesn't want to face what he did at all!!

His first words to Ed in his letter are reassuring him that the crew are safe, as if he doesn't remember that Ed marooned them and left them for dead on purpose??

I know it's meant to be funny but Jackie was a bit of a sex pest toward Swede at first and the power dynamic was a bit 🫤 Glad he was into it in the end!

WHY DOES WEE JOHN SLAM THE HEAD OF THE ONE WHO GOT STABBED INTO THE TABLE INSTEAD OF THE ONE WHO STABBED THEM?? 😂

Stede truly is unphased by people being assholes to him and I just,,, respect it.

Ricky your vibes are strange and unsettling

Who in their right mind would have an ocean wedding in the golden age of piracy?? I know they probs didn't know it was the golden age of piracy while they were in it but STILL

Ed looks so dead behind the eyes 😭 Just going through the motions eh buddy?

Dressed up like the book Blackbeard I see. God he's trying so hard to inhabit this character.

I would die for Archie. Truly the himbo we need in these depressing angst riddled times.

Jim asking someone else how they're bottling things up?? Hello?? Who are you and what have you done with Jim?? Aren't you the bottling up Master? Olu bewitched you too good and now you've unlocked Feelings 😔

"He's actually a good guy" Stede babygirl did we actually forget the marooning???

I have so much I could say about how Izzy and Blackbeard's relationship has deteriorated hhhhh,,,, Izzy is a problem child but I'm so glad the story is crashing towards his character actually growing and changing. In season 1 he at least got the crumbs Ed would throw him like "I need you here", now he's only getting abuse and maybe he's throwing himself at it because he recognises he had a part to play in reaching this point and believes he deserves it.

Fang's delivery on "how you doing Izzy" will keep me warm and fed all winter. Masterclass in approaching someone, truly tender and genuine but not too pressuring. God.

That second "unhand me" hhh the panic of realising you're going to start crying if the situation continues

Con is gonna rip my heart out and eat it this season if I'm not careful

Labour exploitation Jackie what a girlboss x

Why does "you'll be having a lot of breakfastseses together" sound so ominous though 😭 Smeagol Jackie my worstie...

Stede doing Blackbeard Voice is adorable but damn he really doesn't believe that he made Ed's life better. Like how??? Why doesn't Stede equate happiness with better? Ed was explicitly happier around you ya dingus!

Swede deserves his married bliss so much. The crew can be so mean to him!!

"What am I to you" and "I have... love for you" are said so softly I'm gonna be sick,, Izzy you fucked it by wrestling this man into this particular coping mechanism and your tenderness is coming wayyyy too late. Heartbreaking tbh cause the guy didn't know how else to help Ed and now he's realising it could have been different. Sick and twisted little dynamic I'm eating it like good soup.

Definitely supposed to be taken that Izzy didn't realise "talk it through" was a Stedeism as he said it but godddd you idiot dude

Once again god bless you Archie I'd die for you

Fang I want to rescue you hhhhhh my hot topic fashionista must be so dehydrated from all these tears!!!

No way in hell Ed expected anything else out of Izzy's mouth than something about Stede, but god I wish the guy had just payed attention to Frenchie shaking his head. The catharsis of saying the quiet part out loud wasn't worth your leg, man.

"Start by cleaning up that mess"... yeah we def see Ed is killing people himself again but outsourcing the Big Job on Izzy makes sense. He's also exactly the kind of self sabotager atm that would know Frenchie won't do it, and he's looking for reasons to Be Worse.

Indigo heist my beloved. Fuck those hammies up!! I love how loud Black Pete was omg 😂

Oh fuck off Ricky I know you're a S1 Stede mirror but you're doing it detestably

Roach why is your instinct to immediately put the blue dirt on your face darling

Zheng Yi Sao completely unphased by Jackie is giving me so much delight

Sexy Dutchman 😭😂 Jackie never change

I love that Zheng Yi Sao is taking the whole crew on just to have her lil Olu moment, get it girl

TENDER JIM IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM THEY'VE COME SO FAR. I LOVE THEIR BIG SMILE 😭 (also Archie is so wholesome what is she DOING here???)

Ed oh my god you're not alright at ALL

Frenchie's quiet "sounds like a plan" is just so... painful. The acting this season is off the charts.

When Roach asked if they were in soup now I thought he was referring to the ocean as soup I'm an idiot 😭

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #stede bonnet #edward teach

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jyndor · 2 years

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For the people not understanding the idea that the Rebel Captain we meet in RO is SO different from who we met in episode 1 of Andor, isn't that kind of the point???!!

The Eye heist is a key experience for Cassian. For him to lose the idealist Nemik, who you've rightly guessed as someone who didn't really need to bother himself with ideas of Rebellion on such a large scale, and to INHERIT his idealism with the manifesto

And him so coldly and ruthlessly killing Skeen - the mercenary who thought the only way to lift yourself up is by standing on the heads of others. Cassian essentially killed that part of himself. The final crumb of calculated survivalism that he was holding on to. Because, like Luthen said in 1x4, he knew that if he loses that last bit of self preservation, he is gone. He will die fighting the Empire.

But, inheriting Nemik's manifesto, and thus inheriting Nemik's idealism, Cassian is now on the road to not die fighting the Enemy, but fighting for the Rebellion. For hope.

It's that difference that's the key. It's an internal process, not an external one.

When I say this series has been occupying all of my mental capacity!!!!

So I think this may be a situation where it's a should versus is thing. I think people understand that Cassian in the beginning of Andor isn't the Cassian in Rogue One, but some people don't believe that he should be the Cassian as he is written in the beginning of Andor. Because of one line: "I've been in this fight since I was six years old."

I don't think anyone assumed Cassian wouldn't be darker or more ruthless in Andor than in Rogue One - he should be, because he needs to get to the point where he cannot take the thought of giving up on the Death Star plans after doing so much shit that - morally grey or not - hurt him.

Let me be clear in saying that I love the show so far. And I think there is enough subtext so far to give me the vibe that we don't know exactly what Cassian has done in terms of being a rebel in his own way - imo I would not be surprised if they reveal that Cassian did actually fight on Mimban, or that Clem was a partisan of some kind, or that Cassian's been doing a fair bit of insurrection (I mean it's on his record). The issue I have with the show pushing him as someone who is focused on self-preservation is that is Jyn's arc.

Jyn is one of Saw's greatest soldiers until he abandons her at 16. She becomes disillusioned with rebellion as a self-preservation tactic, a way to protect herself from her trauma, but she does do some rebel stuff here and there in her own way. It's why she is in Wobani. A lot of viewers interpret Jyn in the film as actually indifferent when she's actually just A) pushing people's buttons (especially Saw's) and B) trying to protect herself from a cause that has always caused her emotional strife. The novel does a lot of heavy lifting on this (Cassian immediately picks up on her need, her fire - and even wonders how no one else on the council seemed to get it) but it's there in the film, too. Some jackass forces her to go on a mission for the rebellion and eventually an idealistic brother-like guy with a message inspires her to be more.

I am all for Cassian and Jyn mirroring each other because I think they were always intended to mirror each other. I don't even hate Cassian not being a child soldier and just growing into the Rebellion forever. But Cassian calling out Jyn on Eadu doesn't sit right with me if he really wasn't a rebel at some point early on. Yes, Jyn had the privilege of not getting involved in an organized rebellion from 17-21 but she was basically homeless that whole time (after the Pontas' deaths in Rebel Rising), it doesn't feel good for him to say that when he also didn't join up until 21.

I know the point may be that Cassian would have always had politics thrust onto him because of his indigeneity whereas if Jyn's parents hadn't rebelled against the Empire, she would not have had to make that choice and would have been able to live quite comfortably. Okay. But she was a child soldier regardless.

So I think the criticism some people have is that they would have preferred the show approach Cassian as someone who was in a resistance of some kind early on.

The saving grace would be Cassian knowing what he is against like he tells Skeen and Nemik. Him having an ideology of a sort already. But the show needs to tread carefully when it comes to characters who are coded as being from the Core or the galactic version of the Global North "teaching" Cassian about rebellion and anti-Imperialism. Cassian, whose whole life has been defined by it because of where he was born. He doesn't need some Coruscanti spy to tell him that he'll die fighting the Empire because Cassian surely already knows that the Empire will kill him in one way or another. When you say that he is now on the road to die for the Rebellion instead of against the Empire, 100%.

I don't think Cassian necessarily inherits Nemik's idealism, Cassian already has some idealistic tendencies - searching for a sister who is likely already gone for example - but I do think he is more of a realist and will be inspired by Nemik's manifesto. I hope that in fact Cassian makes it better. Refines Nemik's extremely thoughtful but naive idealistic ideology with his lived experience. What I don't want is Nemik "teaching" him that rebellions are built on hope. I want that to come from Cassian.

(I hate when prequels add some other character's context to things from the original that stand so nicely on their own. I don't need someone else talking about how rebellions are built on hope because I think Cassian should be the one to realize that himself. If that is his driving belief, the force behind all the things he does that he hates, it needs to be from that internal process you mention).

And absolutely: Cassian killing Skeen is Cassian killing that last bit of self-preservation in him, but it is also killing for the Rebellion. In a way that was more than killing for his own sake (him killing the mall cops was based lol acab but also purely something he had to do to stay alive). Skeen might have killed him if Cassian had taken him up on his offer but it's uncertain - I actually think there's room to interpret Skeen in a lot of different ways and not just as a self-interested double crosser the whole time.

That uncertain about Skeen is the point: it never crossed Cassian's mind to steal the credits for himself. He was helping the rebellion, he was being in the rebellion the way he likely always wanted to be, but he also was taking care of his basic needs. There was no uncertainty in Cassian. He hates the Empire, and he likes these rebels. And wants them to succeed. Skeen either just hated the Empire but didn't care about what happen

Nemik trying to justify mercs to himself is interesting because he probably didn't ever consider that someone might actually want to fight but couldn't make it work without it being paid work. Not everyone is ready or able to run off and go be a revolutionary (some people have families that they are responsible for, etc). Cassian is honorable and decent, and obviously intends to pay his friends and Maarva back for the credits he's borrowed.

but i know you’re right lol this show is TAKING UP MY THOUGHTS

#andor spoilers #star wars andor #meta #answered #jake-and-amy-are-married #asks

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dribs-and-drabbles · 2 years

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Random thoughts on Vice Versa ep 9

I was wondering how they were going to deal with Mek also 'liking' Tess with Talay and Puen getting together…well, it turns out Mek doesn't - so, problem solved! That was easy. As with all these cameos, he was there and then he was gone.

It's so trippy seeing Neo in two different roles in two different series at the same time. Trippy but FANTASTIC. His versatility! I'm so glad he's able to showcase the more serious character of Kan in The Eclipse and I hope he gets more of these serious roles in the future now that he's shown what he's capable of.

I love that we're being given crumbs of a potential pairing of Aou and Fuse - I had to stop and rewind (scroll back?) when Aou was teased with: "Are you having a spark with someone?!" Um...yes he is! And then them sharing A Look™ when washing the dog and then later whilst waiting outside the surgery room. Aou and Fuse is a go!

How is it that Puen is on the sofa and the other three are in his bed? 😄 I mean, I know if it were me I'd offer my bed to others as well...but the last time they were all there he managed to snag the bed with Talay... Poor guy, now that him and Talay are together he's getting c***blocked! And all that with the pillow is hilarious…and bordering on a bit too explicit. Like…I was seriously afraid that he was going to shove his face in the pillow after he unzipped it...but thankfully all he did was imply he wanted to undress Talay and smush his face on him.

I love the word play, though, even if I don't totally understand it - something about the way Talay says 'Stop it, Tun' must sound like 'dentist' in Thai...

The best three seconds of the show, though? Definitely when Mix entered - with that slow-mo reveal from the side and the soft breeze of his hair. I just adore all the cameos. And for a hot minute I almost lost my sh*t when I thought the height difference between Mix and Aou/Fuse was real (then I noticed there was a step down).

Anyway, back to Puen and Talay and I thought the emotional scene after the birthday felt a bit rushed but at least we got a seed of Puen's 'backstory' - not having any real friends is easy to understand with him being an actor but not even having any family adds another layer to his motivations. He seems like a naïve, sheltered kid in a man's body who hasn't had the emotional support or 'real-world' experiences to know how to properly respond to situations he finds himself in. It's like he got wrapped up in the happiness of Pakorn's life that he didn't really think before saying to Talay "how about we stay here?" without consideration for the consequences of that to the other people involved. And of course he does, because he has everything in the alternative universe that he had dreamed of having in his real life. And when Talay doesn't respond in kind, when instead he challenges Puen, it's like a reality check slap across the face.

And it feels 'in character' for Puen to then disappear (I say this as someone who has also lived very independently because this is what I would do) to deal with this 'opening of his eyes' to the repercussions of what he had thought to be such a simple suggestion. He needs time to reflect and process and since he's used to being alone, he does what he knows and goes to be alone. In contrast, whilst Puen is dealing with it on his own, Talay has Kita to offer a different perspective to help Talay understand Puen more. Because, I have to admit, if it were me under those circumstances, I'd also consider staying in the better universe...before eventally accepting that of course I couldn't. Someone else has already talked about how great communicators Puen and Talay are and I think it's so true. They discuss how they're feeling and also take time to process that information and I think this is why Talay hasn't shown any greater frustration at Puen not telling Talay his real name. They understand one another, learn from each other, and choose to accept the flaws they each have.

Okay, enough with the essay.

I loved the beach scene. THE NEW SONG! And it was a wonderful conversation, apology, and confession all in one. They both listen and meet each other in the middle, and aren't afraid to say how they feel. It feels measured and mature...and ultimately why I trust they will have a happy ending.

And lastly...I'm not one to look at or buy anything from the GMMTV store but all those 'gifts' the friends gave each other are going to be for sale, aren't they?! 😂 But with the hourglass...I feel like I've maybe missed something between Puen and Talay because I don't really understand why it's important enough for Puen to give to Talay (I understand the symbolism of it in the show but not what it means to them). I theorised with @grapejuicegay that perhaps it's something to do with the Thai language - that maybe they way they talk about 'wanting to have time to do things before they die' might linguistically involve the word or concept of an hourglass...but I might be way off the mark. Anyone with a knowledge of Thai want to chip in here?

I wish I could guess at what might happen in the last three eps but I feel like it's totally up in the air. There are moments in the trailer that suggest Puen could go back to the original universe first (when Talay is on the beach looking at the hourglass) but also there are moments that suggest Talay could go back first (Puen crying with Tun's parents). BUT whatever happens I actually feel confident that there will be a happy ending. I'm also very indifferent about whether Puen manages to tell Talay his real name before they get separated or not. At this point, Puen knows enough to find Talay, so them not being able to find each other is not a worry for me. The worry is more that only one might go back...but since we know from the trailer that Talay and Puen will reunite in their original universe (below - Talay has his glasses on)), even that doesn't scare me (I know, I know, 'don't trust a Thai trailer'...but this time I do). In fact, I look forward to seeing what antagonistic forces outside their control will separate them (and thus cause the angst) and then how they'll eventually get back together. Even better is if we see the effects of Tess and Pakorn in Puen and Talay's lives and then the fallout of Tess and Pakorn returning to their own universe. Ultimately, I'd like at least one whole ep on this.

And I'll finish off by saying this... I wonder if this place (below - from the ep 10 trailer) will be significant in one or both of them returning because I think it's the same place as where they'll be in the original universe (above):

#vice versa #vice versa the series #vice versa ep 9 #tagging in case you're interested to read this...but don't feel you have to reblog if it's too long!#mjtag #userjjessi #userconcrete #userlinnea #tosnimeat #ninisdarlings #oh my goodness this turned into a long one #and I guess I'm kind of a puen apologist?🤷🏽‍♀️?#which I think he needs because I don't think he's manipulative #but rather just a sheltered naive soul navigating a new world and new emotions #and yeah he does things wrong perhaps #but who doesn't?#and honestly. I think if talay was really annoyed/upset about puen not telling him about his name #he would absolutely definitely say something or have a stronger reaction to puen #anytime it comes up in conversation #but I think talay has just come to terms with it. that this is just part of who puen is - that he's unable to talk about it #just like we always accept other people's flaws when we care about them #but I know other people read puen differently. and that's ok #I'm not saying this to have a debate about it #just to give a different perspective #I love them both and think they are well balanced #ok I'm going to shut up now

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deewithani · 1 year

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I fully apologize for saying the season was "meandering". Bread crumbs were being dropped all season long.

Big finale theory and spoilers below.

I'm talking character deaths and more.

The Armorer is going to take control of the remaining Mandalorians.

The titles this season have had multiple meanings.

The episode was called "The Spies", but who are the spies? It's not yet clear. Or is it?

Those Mandalorians who could lead went to the surface of Mandalor, and all of them were left behind, except the Armorer.

They have no ship that will get them off planet.

The Armorer was single-minded in saying that the Forge had to be found. The Mandalorians on the surface knew exactly where it was. I believe they were involved, but I don't believe they're spies. I think they were used and were victims in this, for 2 purposes. To be weak (and an excuse for the Armorer to go back to the rest of the fleet), and to take everyone else to the Forge.

The Armorer already knew where the Forge was, and what was waiting there.

She's been with Gideon since long before Season 1. Ask yourself how she survived the purge of the covert, and how she survived the Imperial troops that came at the end of that season.

There were no survivors of the original covert except Din, Paz, and the Armorer.

Din isn't a spy.

Paz very obviously wasn't a spy.

What about the new Mandalorians in the covert? Where did they come from? Did they have to bathe in the living waters? No. That wasn't their purpose. I don't believe they are spies, though. They are just wayward Mandalorians that were brought together.

The Armorer doesn't believe in the never take your helmet off rule. She threw that out for Bo-Katan. The purpose of it was to eventually send a member of the covert to Mandalore to start the current actions. Just so happened that it was Din. Poor guy keeps getting thrust into main character situations.

She had vials of the living waters. She already knew Mandalore was safe to walk on (so to speak). She needed someone else who could verify. She was Death Watch, so seemingly wouldn't have been to Mandalore for years before it fell. Yet she was using it in her forging, and she had some supply of it.

She got it after the Purge.

The Armorer is one of the spies.

Who's the next?

We have Elia Kane and also the Shadow Council, but they're just added in as default here.

The other spy this episode refers to is Captain Pellaeon.

Moff Gideon let his frustration with Thrawn boil over in the meeting. He told Pellaeon that maybe it was time for new leadership.

Pellaeon is loyal to Thrawn, and is 100% playing the role and saying the words Thrawn wants him to.

Gideon's lack of trust will get back, and if what Gideon is doing runs counter to Thrawn's plans, he will be eliminated.

I suspect Gideon will die next week, at the hands of Bo-Katan most likely, and Thrawn has already figured out exactly how it will happen.

My big theory is that Thrawn's "imminent return" is next week. To Mandalore. Where the Mandalorian fleet is waiting in the atmosphere.

Next week may be the last week we see Mandalorians, outside of the ones that are still on Mandalore and Boba. They do not exist in anything further along in the SW timeline. Every day they continue to exist in The Mandalorian is a new day in the timeline. I think the time is up.

They will be destroyed by Thrawn because they are now serving Moff Gideon. They won't even know that they are. The Armorer won't tell them. Thrawn will, and he will tell them. They groups will splinter again and start fighting each other. Then Thrawn will swoop in and clean up the rest.

I also think that Bo-Katan is going to sacrifice herself next week to save Din. She will kill Gideon, and die in the process. She will have given up after Thrawn destroys the Mandalorian fleet and will do the one last selfless thing she can do for her people. She did say she should have killed him when she had the chance, and she did finally admit that she had been selfish, and that led Mandalore to its doom.

This "all Mandalorians are The Mandalorian" is a swerve. It's still going to be Din (or Grogu, if that's the way it is intended to go).

#mandalorian spoilers #mandalorian finale theory #star wars #the mandalorian

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everysongineverykey · 2 years

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Hello you-can-always-come-home,

For the past day or so you have been making your followers cringe with a hypothetical Deltarune MCU adaptation. In front of you is a computer currently displaying your tumblr account. You have 24 hours to write a cringeworthy mcu fandom-esc selfship fanfic with Berdly. Should you fail, your followers will instead fill this fandom ship niche with their own fanfic, almost certainly resulting in something far worse than whatever you could come up with. Will you succumb to the awful awful idea that you have unleashed, or will you finally get a taste of your own medicine? Live or die, the choice is yours.

christ alive. it's done. i really tried to write from the voice of a 13 year old mcu fan back in like 2014 and i really hope it doesn't come off as mocking anyone in particular. anyone who reads this i Promise you this writing style is put on and that i am a better writer than this actually

After the roaring knight turned out to be a personification of the fun gang's insecurities and was defeated by the power of friendship and also Triple Spamvil Neo 5000, the almighty fusion between Spamton and Jevil that had two laser cannon arms instead of one and flossed a lot, the heroes and all their friends decided to live together in Ralsei's castle in Castle town 2.0, a haven for all darkners and Lightners where everyone could live together and be happy since it was made of a different kind of darkness then all the others. Susie and Ralsei were now King and queen (Author's note: can be romantic or platonic depending on what you like best but all im gonna say is i LOVED the scene where he saved her from falling off a cliff and then said "I think you just fell for me" >_<) and Kris was Crown Prince(ss) (Author's note: haven't decided on a gender for Kris yet LOL). They were all roommates and everyone was happy.

Well, except for one person. Berdly, even though he was the reason the gang got out with their lives when he said "It's spammin' time" to summon Triple Spamvil 5000 (a.n: who else LOVED that morbius reference🤣), was still alone, his room in the castle was just a broom closet under the stairs and all he was ever fed was bread crumbs twice a day. Both Susie and Noelle had rejected him even though he was such a nice guy because they said he wasn't their type. Berdly's life in Castle Town 2.0 was TERRIBLE and he wished he had never helped them out at all.

Then one day he met someone who changed his life forever. She was half Darkner, half Lightner due to being born from one of the last Dark fountains to be sealed and her name was (Y/N). She first met Berdly when she was seeing King Ralsei and Queen Susie in the throne room to discuss her new job, the Lightner-Darkner ambassador.

Susie, Ralsei and (Y/N) were walking through the castle halls. "Well (Y/N)" said Ralsei, "I am very glad we got to meet you. It seems like you will be a perfect fit for the job of ambassador."

(Y/N) beamed. "Thank you your majesty. I will do my duty with pride. Being the only Lightner-Darkner hybrid in the world isn't easy, but I know it'll give me a special insight for this job."

Susie yawned loudly. "UGH," she complained, "Ralsei, didja HAVE to drag me along with you to talk to this priss? You know I hate di- di- diplodicus."

"Y-You mean diplomacy." Said Ralsei.

"Ugh, what-EVER," Susie groaned. "If I don't get to break something right now Im gonna explode" She turned suddenly and smashed an expensive vase sitting on a column. (Y/N) and Ralsei jumped back, (Y/N)'s kalidoscope orbs shining with fear.

"S-Susie!" sputtered Ralsei, terrified. "Y-You have to stop breaking vases! They're expensive!"

Susie roared with laughter. "Whatever toothpaste boy. Hey!" She looked around, snapping her fingers. "Where's Nerdly? He'll clean it up for me. Nerdy!"

Berdly came skittering quickly over from around the corner. "Y-Yes your ma-"

He stopped in his tracks, eyes landing on (Y/N). She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. Her striped whitr-and-black hair humg around her shining skin like a halo, and she wore a gorgeous floor-length gown that glittered with every color of the rainbow.

Forget Noelle, this was the first real angel Berdly had ever seen. He suddenly realized hed been staring too long and cleared his throat blushing

"Uh... yes, your majesty?"

Susie motioned to the mess on the floor. "Clean that up. And don't take so long this time, I don't wanna see your ugly face stilll here in half an hour again."

Berdly looked miserably at the broken mess om the floor. "B-But your majesty, you said I could have a day off today-"

"Berdly" Ralsei said sternly. "Listen to your queen."

Berdly sighed sadly and dropped to the floor, and (Y/N) suddenly felt terrible for this boy who seemed like he just wanted to live a nice life in Castle Town.

"Excuse me," she touched his wing and he froze, blushing, "Don't worry about that. I'll clean it up."

She snapped her delicate fingers and in a second, the shards had disappeared. Leaving the floor clean again.

Berdly blinked in surprise. Susie's eyes narrowed. "Aw, c'mon, wheres the fun in that?! He always does the cleaning here! It's fun to watch him suffer!"

Ralsei tried to intervene, "Susie, please-"

"I don't care if you don't like him," (Y/N) challenged the dragon, stepping closer adversarially. "It's wrong to treat anyone this way. He obviously only wants to be friends with you and you're being very unfair."

Susie, not used to being told she's wrong, glared at (Y/N), smoke flowing out of her nostrils. "I'm Queen here!" she yelled. "I should be able to do what I want! Ugh, i'm gonna need some chalk for this" She stormed off, stomping down the hall. Good riddance, (Y/N) thought, though she was too polite to say it out loud.

Ralsei hurried after Susie meekly. "S-Susie, calm down-" Leaving (Y/N) and Berdly alone in the hall.

Berdly couldn't believe what had just happened. Someone had stood up for him! Someone cares how he feels! No one not even Noelle had ever tried to challenge the way he was treated ever since he moved to Castle Town 2.0 and now this gorgeous girl was leaning down and smiling at him.

"Are you alright?" She asked kindly, holding out her hand for him to take. "I'm sorry that happened. What's your name?"

"B-Berdly," he stammered taking her hand and quickly getting to his feet. "W-Who are you? I've never seen anyone like you before."

She blushed at that, and Berdly's heart skipped a beat. Her orbs turned bright pink, the color of happiness... and love?

"(Y/N)," she said quickly. "I'm the new darkner Lightner ambassador. Please to meet you Berdly!" Her face turned sad all of a sudden. "Do they... all treat you like that?"

Berdly's blue orbs turned dark with sadness as he looked down, muttering "Ever since I moved here. I helped them defeat the Roaring Knight too. And yet even my old friends seem to hate me now..."

"That's so sad!" (Y/N)'s eyes turned a deep blue to show her sorrow. "I'm sorry Berdly. You don't deserve this."

Berdly blushed again, shrugging. "Not much i can do"

Suddenly, (Y/N) reached out and took his hand, something that no one had done in a long time "Well I'm going to do something about it. Mark my words Berdly, no one'll treat you like a slave again as long as I'm here. Now, tell me about yourself."

She took his wing and they set off down the hall, walking and talking and laughing and Berdly could feel that this girl was going to change his life.

fucking. there. chapter one of The Reason I Should Not Have Internet. chapter 2 coming never because i've done enough

#not fucking tagging this #what if we all blew up and died. what then #anyway. time to continue writing the fic i actually like and am proud of. thanks for this anon.#banning you from my inbox permanently💙 /j

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silentxxsoul · 2 years

Text

The 'this is going to be hella chaotic bc its week 3 wee woo and week 4 tyler higbee please go off i need the points' reaction dump

Listen I'm like deadlocked this week in fantasy football and really need my guy Tyler to show OUT against the 49ers but I'm also invested in all things Bathena so this could not be a worse scenario for my mediocre focusing skills.

I've got so many screens going at once idk how this is gonna go lmao

Lord help me when its playoff baseball and NHL bc 💀

Anyway, gimme all the Bathena tonight PLEASE. I feel like we've only really gotten crumbs from them since COVID hit and Peter and Angela took a step back (also Angela filming BP2), and I'm so, so hyped for more1

ELI MANNING HAS HIS PUPPY ON SET THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH HARDER THAN I THOUGHT BC NOW THERES A GD DOGGO IN THE MIX

The way the actress is playing Athena's mom is talking with her hands is soooo Athena. IDK if it was a conscious decision or not but I love that little detail.

Man, that had to be so terrifying and traumatizing for her

The fact that the foundation was so exposed is sus, but also the timeline is hella confusing. I feel like Jr's dad was only mentioning it so that Athena would question her dad more and not look at him, the guy who poured the foundation. Plus the odd looks Junior was giving his dad--the man knows something.

Bobby being supportive husband ♥♥♥

my lil tyler bud out there doing tight end thins

Honestly, props to Athena for recognizing she really doesn't know who her dad is beyond her house. A lot of family members can't take the blinders off (literally happening in my family rn) or refuse to entertain the idea their family members might be a bad person.

Wait - they both snuck out ??? I mean, that explains the quick change from wanting to shoot Athena point blank and then inviting her inside, but yikes

Something definitely happens at this party, I can feel it. Then Junior and his dad cover up by hiding her body in the foundation. That's the reason for the girls hearing the truck...

Also, I'm still not convinced JR isn't a bit sus outright, especially after the comment about chasing Athena around. He's clearly older--old enough to be passable for drinking age, probably 15/16/17, so that's 10ish on Athena. It's a bit gross to think he was chasing her or however they worded it being that much older than her.

Bobby is about to lose his shit. Like I can see why he'd take her in, but also I can't actually believe they're taking her in.

Is he going to try something ??

Well, actually he is but you don't know that yet

Oh lord Bobby WHAT ARE YOU DOING BY YOURSELF WE ESTABLISHED THERE WAS A MURDER/COVERUP AND YOU DON'T HAVE A WEAPON

I AM STRESSED

BOBBY GO HOME

OH NO OH NO OH NO

THIS IS GOING TO END SO BADLY LIKE SOMEONE ELSE IS GONNA BE DEAD DEAD I CAN FEEL IT

Oh look Matty boy got sacked again lololol

oh christ woman why didn't you put it up?

I FUCKING KNEW IT WAS THE KID HIS DAD WAS JUST COVERING FOR HIS SON BUT LIKE WTF BRO IN YOUR FRIENDS HOUSE ???

Unrelated but Kittle my guy, I'm gonna need you to get some yards here in the next 3 quarters okay?

Always with the villain monologue. I remember in the promo Athena clocked a dude with a shovel and I was pretty sure it was Jr, so like give it a little more oomph

I mean this dude is a fucking creep, right?

YEP A FUCKING CREEP

I HATE THAT I CLOCKED IT

YALL END THIS MAN

THANK YOU BOBBY THANK YOU

KICK HIS ASS THE PERVERT

YALL THIS IS FUCKING TRAGIC AND I HATE IT

kinda poetic it's going to end here though, she can get her peace while he gets justice where it all happened.

Okay, so I knew this was going to be a heavy episode but holy shit was this a heavy episode I mean ----

Holy shit there were more

holy

JESUS H CHRIST

IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE

I'm just

stunned

holy shit that ending

I -

I need 3-5 bus days to process yall bc WHAT

Like, this was such a good episode. I know people will be booing because it was Bathena only "aNd noT tHe 118", but y'all this was fucking fantastic. The acting, the story, the execution. Like, the TWISTS. I knew it was likely to be a plot of this kind but the way they got there I was not expecting. Also, to get the supportive!Bobby and his dad-glasses moments ?? S - W - O - O - N

Plus bad ass Athena again? Clocking the shit out of that creep? Doing detective things with her hubby? In this economy??

((tyler you're doing great sweetie!!!))

((coop buddy I NEED YOU IN THE END ZONE NOT IN FRONT OF IT))

#911 fox #911 spoilers #this was chaotic but i loved it #and this episode i mean wooooooow #10 out of 10 do recommend #bc damn #angela SERVED tonight #there's so much to unpack from it

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whimsicallyreading · 3 years

Text

For Day 29 of Rowaelin Month

“A song fic-“

The song- “Always Been You” by Quinn XCII

CW- Mentions of miscarriage and divorce

"I can't believe you right now."

Rowan looks at his wife in frustration. She's sitting at the end of their bed, staring listlessly at the wall. The skirt of the red dress she's wearing is wrinkled, and his heart aches when he notices the mascara marks on her cheeks.

"Aelin," Rowan tries again to reach for her, but she leans away from his grasp.

"No, Rowan. I'm done."

Rowan takes a long swing from the beer in front of him. The time on his phone alerts him that he's spent most of the evening sulking at his bar.

The guys had invited him to dinner, but Rowan hadn't felt like going in light of his current situation. Instead, choosing to meander to the shady little pub they'd passed by coming from the airport.

His lawyer had sent him numerous emails. Documents to sign, agreements to approve, and papers he needed to read through before sending them to the judge.

Divorce was a pain, and Aelin wasn't making it easy.

"Hey, bud. I thought I might find you here." Fenrys slides onto the barstool next to his.

Rowan sighs and rubs the lines forming on his forehead. "Well, I thought it was obvious I didn't want company."

"Too bad. Drinking alone isn't a good look on you." Fenrys raises a hand and motions for another round of beers. "How are things going with ya know?"

"Shitty. She's never paid a dime of rent on that apartment, but she wants the lease signed into her name and for me to front the first four months of rent." Rowan cracks a peanut between his finger. He has no intent to eat the growing pile in front of him. He just craved the satisfaction of breaking something.

"Well, have you talked to her about that?" Fenrys frowns in sympathy, knowing how equally attached both parties were to the little rental.

Rowan laughs mirthlessly. "No, she said that it was better if our conversations were mediated. I always knew Aelin was catty, but she's acting like such a-"

"Don't." Fenrys gives Rowan a severe look. "I know you are upset, but don't start saying shit you'll regret."

Rowan pauses and reluctantly nods his agreement. It's the alcohol talking. He knew the problems that had festered his marriage were predominantly his responsibility.

He takes a deep breath, but a heaviness seems to keep the air from reaching his lungs fully. The weight was slowly becoming too familiar, starting the day Aelin had presented him with the papers.

Rowan wishes he'd done more. Wishes he'd paid more attention and seen the signs of Aelin's unhappiness.

The day Aelin had broken down in their bedroom had been a cold wake-up call but by then? It was already too late.

"You missed our anniversary Rowan." Aelin shouts and pulls her heels off angrily.

Rowan picks up a shoe and tries to hand it back to her. "I know. I'm sorry. It's not too late, though. We can still go out? There's still time to salvage-"

Aelin turns away from him and seems to fold in on herself. Rowan wants to reach out. He wants to hold her, but something dark is building in the air.

"I don't want your leftovers, Rowan," Aelin whispers. "That's all I get anymore—your leftover time. Your leftover attention. Whatever leftover resentment you bring home from work."

"Aelin-" he tries to cut off her depressive spiral, but she's not finished.

"You used to call me during the day." Aelin's voice cracks, and he realizes she's crying. "Every day, you would call me on your break. Now you don't even call when you leave town."

"Baby, just listen to me." He puts his hands on her shoulders, but Aelin breaks his grasp to turn around and look at him.

"Is there someone else?" Her eyes are wide and vulnerable. So unlike his regular Aelin."

"What?" His brain is struggling even to formulate a reply. Rowan's lack of response only causes Aelin to worry more.

Something in her cracks. There's a quiver to her lips, and her face drains of color. "Oh. Oh no."

"Aelin. I swear there is no one else." Rowan finally says, but it's too late.

"Is," Aelin presses the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Is it because I lost the baby?" She sucks in a hiccupping breath. "You've always wanted kids. So did I, but my fucking body doesn't work."

Aelin closes her eyes, and Rowan knows she's speaking more to herself than him, but her words gut him just the same. "My body doesn't work right. I keep giving us false hopes and wasting money on pregnancy tests. Of course, you would look for a woman who can give you what you want."

He's surprised by the sudden flare of anger in him. "Don't put words in my mouth. That will never be your fault."

They'd known right from the start their journey to parenthood would be a long one. Aelin had a family history of complicated fertility. It had seemed so trivial when they got married. Yet even knowing there could be issues, nothing quite prepared them for the pain of a miscarriage.

Aelin sniffles, unable to force back her grief, "But you resent me. Don't you?"

Rowan doesn't reply.

"It's rough," Rowan admits out loud. "I let a lot get left unsaid. I was hurt and pushed her away. Now she won't even speak to me without a lawyer present."

Fenrys nods, "It's all probably for the best. Once this is over, you guys can put this drama behind you."

"I wish it were that easy," Rowan knocks back the rest of his beer. He grimaces at the drink. It's not taking hold quickly enough.

Fenrys raises an eyebrow. "You both will be able to shut the book on this chapter of your lives and move on? Considering how bloody you two have been fighting, it sounds ideal."

They sit in silence. Fenrys takes the peanut basket away from Rowan and picks at the shells. The bartender comes by, and disgruntledly eyes Rowan's pile of crumbs as he orders a whiskey neat.

Fen was like his little brother, but Rowan found it hard to admit his real problem to him aloud. "I still love her."

The basket goes flying over the side of the counter, and Fenrys chokes on his beer. "What?"

Rowan can't look him in the eye, "We lost a baby. It was early. Aelin didn't want to tell everyone. Three years we tried to get pregnant, and finally, a test comes back positive. She was so happy."

"Shit," Fenrys says quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"It was there, and then it was gone. I thought Aelin was fine. She cried for a week, but then it was like a switch flipped, and she was back to normal." Rowan clenches a napkin in his fist. "I was devastated. It hurt like hell, but I didn't want to send her back into a depression." Rowan shakes his head at how stupid he'd been. "So I put some distance between us. I didn't want her to think I was upset with her."

"I didn't feel better," Rowan sips the whiskey, relishing the warmth. "It made me mad that she got over it so quickly, and I couldn't. I didn't realize that I was growing that space between us. I didn't understand how much guilt she harbored and that she tried to be strong for me. Not until she broke."

"We fought. I said all the wrong things. Aelin couldn't take it anymore, she left, and I didn't stop her." Rowan leans his head on his hands and elbows against the counter. "She's the love of my life, and I watched her walk out the door."

Fenrys sucks in a breath and sighs. "You are my best friend, and I mean this in the most loving way possible. Why the hell are you here?"

"What?" Rowan looks at Fenrys annoyed face.

"Get out of here. Go. I'll tell the boss you have ebola or some shit." Fenrys fishes his wallet out and throws cash on the bar. "I'll even cover the tab. Just leave. Now."

"What? I don't understand?"

Fenrys looks at Rowan like he's stupid. "No offense, but you are about as interesting as a brick wall. The fact you caught a girl like Aelin is astonishing. If you love her, are you honestly going to let her go on being miserable?"

"She's not miserable," Rowan scoffs.

Fenrys laughs bitterly. "You forget I'm pals with Aedion too? Aelin winds up at his house almost every evening crying her eyes out. You two are still hopelessly in love. You're just dumb and badly in need of a good conversation."

"Aelin is upset?" A sense of disbelief washes over him.

"Yes! She misses you, but she's under the impression you are off sleeping around." His face saddens. "I told Aedion you weren't. He knows I go on all of these trips with you. Aelin's just upset you're gone and needs to believe in something that can help her let go."

Rowan stands up, swaying. "I have to go."

"Hell yeah, you do. Give Aelin my love," Fenrys waves as Rowan vates the bar like a hawk out of hell.

Aelin sets the stack of papers in front of him.

Rowan had been camping out in his office ever since there disaster of an anniversary. He'd texted a few times, but every time they talked, it was like relighting a fuze. Things weren't getting better.

"What are these?" Rowan asks without looking up from his screen.

"Your ticket to freedom," Aelin sits in the chair across from him.

She looks thin, thinner than she did when Arobynn was her foster father. It physically hurts Rowan that he's causing her that kind of stress. Glancing at the papers, she slapped in front of him. His blood becomes like an ice river through his body. "Aelin-"

"I'm not the one for you. That's apparent now. I won't hold you hostage in a marriage that you aren't happy in." Aelin blinks, and a tear slides down her face. He wants to wipe it away, but he's beyond angry. She was giving up on them.

"If this is what you want," Rowan slides the papers towards him and pulls out a pen.

Rowan is racing the familiar paths to their apartment. He doesn't care that it's almost four in the morning. The plane ride between Perranth and Ornyth is mercifully short, but he can't force himself to wait another minute.

"Aelin," he yells through their door. "Baby, answer me. Open the door."

Rowan's fists tap a consistent rhythm on the door, and his heart skips a beat when a bedraggled Aelin finally appears. "Rowan, do you know what time it is?"

She's in a pair of grey flannel pajamas, not one of her usual silky numbers. Aelin's eyes are red around the edges, and her face is still dewy from the excessive amount of lotion he knows she loves to put on. Rowan knows all of her routines. All of her favorite outfits, comfort movies, and best memories. He knows the scar she has on her left hand from an abusive foster father. Rowan remembers how the bridge of her nose wrinkles when she's upset in the same spot her cousin's does.

He knows everything about her, because not only were they husband and wife, they were best friends.

How could he have let that go?

Before Aelin can ask any more questions, Rowan has swept her into his arms. "I missed you so damn much."

"Rowan, have you been drinking?" Aelin asks in a voice cracked with emotion.

His hands are running up her back, and his knows burrows into her hair. He's always loved the smell of her jasmine shampoo. "Fireheart, I never resented you for losing the baby."

"Rowan, I don't want to talk about this," Aelin tries to push him away, but he squeezes her into his chest, and she melts.

That had been his mistake. He should have held Aelik like this and never let her go on pretending to be happy. How could he know everything about this woman and not have seen past her facade? She'd suffered. His own pain had blinded him.

"Aelin, I've made so many mistakes lately." Rowan rubs the back of Aelin's neck the way she likes, and he can feel the sobs starting to build up inside of her. "But the greatest shame of my life is not being there for you when you needed me. I was stupid, Fireheart. I'm not going to be stupid any longer. This separation can't go on, we aren't any happier for it, and I can't live knowing I'm away from the other half of my soul."

Aelin cracks, and he can feel the tears wetting the front of his shoulder. "You were never home. I thought there was someone else, someone who could give you the things you wanted because I can't."

Her whole form is shuddering his arms, and Rowan squeezes tighter as if he can hold her broken pieces together. "It's always been you. I don't care if we adopt or never have any kids at all. All I need is you, baby. You are all I've ever needed."

Suddenly, hands are in Rowan's hair as Aelin crushes their lips together. The kiss is frantic, a relief of the stress they'd carried upon their shoulders.

"I missed you too," Aelin whispers in between kisses. “Gods I mussed you so much.”

The rest of their night is filled with soothing words, frantic kissing, and murmured apologies. Rowan kisses the tears from her cheeks and Aelin looks into his eyes like she’s home. Nail dig into skin as they promise never to be apart again.

For the first time in months they sleep in the same bed. Rowan sinks into a deep restful sleep with his wife in his arms once more. He loves the way her cold toes search out his heat. How Aelin fits so perfectly against his chest. When he wakes up and she’s still there, his heart nearly features from relief.

After months of pain, it's the beginning of their walk towards healing.

The days after aren't perfect. They had legal issues to sort back out, more problems to lay bare to the sunlight. There was arguing, but it lacked actual heat, and they didn't walk away feeling unloved at the end. No longer did they fight to land barbs. Their bickering now served to work towards solutions and to express needs.

Between struggles, the love began to grow back. Rowan kept his job at work, and when he was home, it was about them. He started calling her on his breaks again, and it always astonished him how much he missed the sound of her voice. They both strived to communicate their feelings better and actually listen instead of reacting.

Aelin surprised him with romantic dates, and Rowan read pages of her favorite books to her at night. They danced in the kitchen and laughed at their favorite shows.

Fixing their marriage was hard work, but Rowan and Aelin didn't mind. The separation proved that neither of them wanted a life without the other. It was to whatever end, and they wouldn't accept anything less for them.

On one Sunday morning, Rowan opens his eyes and realizes that Aelin isn't on her side of the bed. Panic surges in him, and he looks around to make sure her things are still there.

They are, and the tension eases from his shoulders until he hears soft crying from the bathroom. Darting out of bed, he grabs Aelin's bathrobe and knocks on their bathroom door. "Aelin, what's wrong?"

Had he screwed something up? Was she sick?

The lock clicks, granting him silent permission for him to come inside. Rowan pushes the door open and finds Aelin crying on the side of the tup. With gentle hands, he wraps her robe around her and throws an arm over her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Aelin looks up at him, a radiant smile on her face. "Look."

Rowan glances down to her clenched fists and-

He blinks, once, twice. Aelin laughs at his dumbfounded face, and it breaks his paralysis. Rowan grabs her around the waist and spins her around the cramped bathroom, the positive pregnancy test clattering to the floor.

Aelin's arms wrap around his neck. The emotion in the room is raw and bittersweet, but there's a hopefulness that can't be denied. Rowan holds her tight as they process the news. When they break apart, the love between them is palpable. They had another shot at this, a fresh start.

Hards times would come and go, but good days were never far behind for them. Because for Aelin and Rowan, it's always been them.

And that's all they needed.

#throne of glass #rowaelin #fanfic #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelinmonth #angst #tog #sjmaas #throne of glass fanfiction #song fic #rowan x aelin #fenrys #day 29

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herstarburststories · 3 years

Text

tolerate it

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: your love for Dean used to be celebrated, but now he tolerates it.

A/N: here it is, hunters! First fic of the year, wow! I hope you guys like it! Based on Taylor's song tolerate it. Also requested by @ashleyygeza!

Warnings: so much angst, language, smut

There was this thing you always liked to do. It was mostly the learned behavior of a child that grew up in motel rooms. It was usual for the adult that called a bunker her home, too. You’d lay on your back, staring at the light on the ceiling and squint your eyes to the point the glimmering white light could be mistaken as the moon. You never thought you’d end up doing that to people as well.

It used to be something so sensual and sequin back then, but now the fact that he's so much older and wiser only makes you quiet. You see his bruised hands and worried glances; the stubble on his face growing as his sense of self starts to fade with borrowed time. Dean used to love you in screaming colors; now he just sits in silence reading with his head low, researching the next case under the dim light while you watch him. Sam can't seem to stand slow deaths either -- he just clears his throat and leaves the bunker with the empty excuse of a supply run.

Still, you remain here. You stand still like a good ornament in Dean's collection of lovers. It seems like it's a matter of time until he leaves you too. Yet, you’re sitting and watching him, and you can't help but wonder if you aren't just another wrinkle on his face. You’d been a memory of something worth dying for, once, but now you were starting to believe you were just another battle scar; marred skin that had spent so long settling that he didn’t even notice the scarification anymore.

Hours pass as quickly and emotionally draining as dry heaving. His huffs of annoyance and thirsty fingers of whiskey were difficult to ignore. The eldest Winchester doesn’t dare to approach you; to throw those dust-collecting books away and make love to you with dumbfounded grins and breathless groans like he had done so many times before. That was when you were a complete person and not just the husk of a lover destroyed. Once you held the strength of Jeanne d'Arc, now you sit and wait for a man to love you back. You’d be disgusted by your weakness if you had any pity left to spare.

If you look at someone too much you can confuse it with love. And if you already love someone and keep looking, you might waste all the rose-colored visions love could create. Maybe that's what happened to Dean. It’s a treacherous game, and it seems like he’s winning. Perhaps it’s your fault, your snide mind speculates against your will. You should try harder.

You don’t miss Dean’s hidden sigh of relief when the door makes a noise, announcing Sam’s return. How could you? You notice everything he does or doesn't do. At first, you fantasized that, even if it started getting messy before, he was pushing you away because of the whole fighting God problem, now you aren’t so sure. The clues were all over the place when Chuck was gone. Dean smiled at Sammy as if there was no tomorrow and said we’re finally free without sparing a glance at you. When they-- when he started building other worlds, where were you? That long-fraught, battle-ridden past of the Winchesters might be gone, but the more you try to turn the page, the more they stick to each other.

‘’Sammy,” his gruff voice says. It is the first word in hours that wasn’t half-hearted mumbles agreeing with your occasional comments or the tuneful hum of a classic rock song between reading and drinking. ‘’Did you bring any bacon?’’

‘’Yeah, but they need cooking--’’ Sam interrupts his brother, already familiar with this conversation. Dean’s half-open mouth and wiggling brows meant one thing. He was such a kid sometimes. ‘’And no. I’m not frying this cardiac embolism waiting to happen for you, dude.’’

You get up, aiming a smile at the long-haired hunter. ‘’Don’t worry, I can cook it. I was gonna make some pasta anyway.’’

Sam slightly nods before tilting his head towards you. ‘’You sure?’’

‘’Yeah. My butt’s already sore from the research. Those chairs aren’t that comfortable.’’ You scrunched up your nose with a good-humored grimace.

‘’Okay, thanks.’’ You nod, throwing a last glance at Dean, who barely moved since you got in the conversation. You turn around, walking to the kitchen when Sam’s voice reverberated through. Deciding to overhear against all your sense of privacy, like a schoolgirl in the bathroom, you lean against the wall. You can’t believe the point you got to at those moments, but the answer to the question Sam asks may be the solution for your personal tophet. ‘’What’s up with you?’’

Dean doesn’t seem phased by his brother’s prodding. ‘’What do you mean?’’

Sam arches his eyebrows. ‘’No butt jokes?’’

At least you aren’t going crazy here. Even Sammy noticed something peculiar about Dean and you. There had to be an explanation or reason.; something broken that you could fix.

‘’I’m a grown-ass man, Sam.’’ He scoffs as you heard the chair being pushed. You nibble on your bottom lip, catching your breath as they continue.

‘’Yeah, sure,” the younger man snaps sarcastically. Dean rolls his eyes. ‘’Actually researching when I leave you two alone? Come on, Dean. Did you guys argue or something?’’

‘’We are just fine.’’ His boots scuffing against the wood floor makes a well-known melody, just like Sam’s loud sigh. You know him; he thinks this his brother’s way to avoid the subject and run away. You can’t say you don’t agree with that.

‘’Dean…’’

“I’m gonna take a shower. I spent two hours reading. I gotta get ready for my bacon.’’ It is a simple answer that made your heart spin like a girl in a brand new dress. You had the sudden realization that at least he spent those hours with you, right? Deadly in his quietude, but he was there. Women always are excellent at convincing themselves that crumbs are a whole meal. Therefore, convince yourself this is enough.

You hear the creaking under his strong, heavy steps as he leaves, and a couple more from Sam as well. Ultimately, you turn around, clapping your hands together as you glare at the food still waiting to be made. You give yourself a comforting smile as you speak: ‘’Time to get to work.’’

Then you go. You pace around the kitchen, preparing the lunch with everything you have. Make it perfect, make it delicious. Fuck, even make it deluxe with pre-made bacon and vegan pasta on a Tuesday afternoon. It’s so silly how you make such a lavish effort with the smallest things only to maybe catch a glimpse of his attention. As if Dean would see, truly look at you again. You gave him the best you had, and when you ran out of that, you gave him what was left too.

The pasta is smelling good. You two used to be each other's better halves, but since the coin had been tossed, you are now each other’s worst reflections. He’s your coldness; the gelid nature that was so useful as a weapon to hurt those who came before him. The ignorance, the lack of care for the ones who claimed to cherish you with their ripped out chests and open hands. You can see you in the way he moved, told white lies and walked away. All the most brutal aspects that your soul built through the years. You almost burn your hand, but at least it isn’t his bacon. And in you, you hold all Dean hated in himself lately. The clingy behavior, always urging to serve and make someone else happy. So needy for a gentle touch, one single proof that his lurking was wrong and he was worthy, that he could be loved someday if he just tried hard enough. Desperate in earge for aprovation, just like you grabbing the Men Of Letters’ sumptuous tapestry and the elegant candle holder, laying the table with the fancy shit.

‘’Wow.’’ Sam says once he arrives in the dining room. Dean refrains his reaction to arching his eyebrows in an unspoken question: what the fuck is happening there?

‘’Is the queen visiting us or somethin’?’’ You catch the pissed off glare that Sammy gives him, yet the older Winchester just shrugs. His little brother had the same eyes as him in many aspects, he had to agree that all those snobby objects were too much.

Unbothered, too used to his butch nature, you chortle. ‘’I just thought we deserved some nice things tonight.’’

Dean hums before adding: ‘’As long as there’s bacon.’’

Sam praises how good the sauce you made tastes. Of course, Dean just nods and agrees with a grumble, not even taking a second glance at you. He doesn’t notice that you are watching him, neither does he compliment your cooking. You never get the reaction you expect from him. Not a thank you, or a true smile, or even a drop of love in the saliva of his kiss, but you keep trying. Just like he tried to make daddy proud for so long. You both should know that's not how it works, but who can argue with a broken child mosaic in an adult damaged heart?

The green eyed man purposely sets the scene in a manner that his brother would be between the two of you. And yes, you manage to double cross this signal and sit down on another chair by his side. Although, when your elbows accidently meet during the homemade feast, Dean doesn’t look at you with the lopsided grin that you love so much. He doesn’t lean in to steal a kiss. Instead, he moves to the side discreetly. You were the roots of hope once, the one who could grow inside him and wrap around his organs for some relief of the hematoma and blood. The Winchester held the arm that pulled you closer and made sure you would stay. But he no longer touches you and the plants died of thirst and you are still here. In these moments, your trick mind asks: why are you still here? You can’t answer.

The lunch goes by filled with your and Sam’s chatter, Dean’s loud chewing and Miracle’s ocasional barks until there’s no food or reasoning to postpone staying together. All the three of you raise up, adamantly ignoring the strange atmosphere.

‘’We’re leaving in an hour.’’ It’s all Dean says before leaving the room. Sammy dares to squeeze your shoulder softly before following his older brother’s path. With a suspire, you collect all the plates and lead to the kitchen again, starting to put the 60 minutes to good use. Polish plates until they gleam and glisten, maybe Dean will sneak in and wrap his arms around you, press a kiss to your neck and tell you to go to bed, that he will take care of the dishes. He used to do that. This was then and this is now. It’s easy to get lost in the tangles of time.

Of course he doesn’t. Though the hunter shows up with a bag and shouts from the living room for you to hurry up, so you do. Sleeping in the backseat of Baby through the streets of the United States, you wake up with Sam gently shaking your shoulder. Dean is already inside the restaurant. You try not to think too much about it, he could’ve been needing to hit the bathroom or something. As you and the youngest Winchester enter the establishment, four trained eyes fall on your boyfriend and the waitress, who’s clearly leaning forward to make her cleavage more evident. You two pace towards the table just in time to hear the end of their conversation.

‘’Call me if you need anything.’’ The name tag says that the brunette is called Andressa. She's tall, tan and beautiful, smiling in a way that you never can never conquer. You miss having that confidence, how you’d walk in a room and be sure people would stop and stare. Remember when you used to be like that?

‘’Betcha.’’ He gives her a lopsided grin, the one that used to be directed to you. Andressa winks at him and leaves, swapping her hips in the most seductive way, which catches Dean's eyes like it's the whole Aurora Boreal and not just a woman's ass.

‘’Nice shirt, yeah?’’ You take his indiscretions all in good fun. Dean, though, takes a deep breath and wipes his face, as if he's the one with the right to be annoyed in this situation. It's so stupid how you keep making yourself smaller to fit in whatever expection is comfortable for him. At some point you'll disappear-- but hey, no body no crime. You attempted to explain yourself, ‘’I was just kidding.’’

He tightens his mouth into a thin line. ‘’I know.’’

‘’I saw one on Shein.’’

‘’Come on, Y/N.’’ The green eyed hunter scoffed. ‘’That’s like, Belladonna’s boobs sort of thing.’’

It’s so stupid how his opinons can change your whole weekend, as if your emotions were some sort of board game that Dean played by his own rules. You hang your head low, playing with the menu. You can ‘’Yeah, you’re right. It was dumb.’’

‘’That’s not what I---’’ He stopped himself with a deep inhale. Why did it seem easier for him to criticize than compliment you? You are using your best colors for his portrait of stares, yet all you gain are vacant side eyes. That man killed for you, and now every second by your side seemed to be murdering him. ‘’You’d look good on it.’’

You decide not to go on the next hunt, give both of you a break from the grey skies that always seem to suppress you and Dean. What if you two just need time apart? You live together, work together, and even have the same group of friends. Putting the whole monsters and multiple deaths aside, it was pretty much like a normal relationship. You must just need some time alone to miss each other. So you start going on less and less hunts. God, past you’d hate that scared little girl act, begging to be seen like a shiny toy.

Your cell phone buzzes, causing a smile besides the burning anticipation building up in your veins, crawling under your skin like a million little stars, or bugs. It depends on how you choose the perspective, no surprise you’d go for the romantic one. Well, it's a text from Dean. Plaid and crude: getting home in ten minutes. Why’d you be unpleasantly anxious about that? He’s your boyfriend and he’s coming home after a week! Your fingers dance around the keyboard before answering a sweet waiting for you, with a couple hearts in the byline.

You get his favorite burger and a whiskey older than you in the Deancave, which is settled up with a three hours marathon of Scooby-Doo. It was always so adorable when Dean and you made bets to see who’d guess the episode villain first. Even his hot dog pants and his robe are on the armchair. As for you, you are waiting by the door like you’re just a kid, in a vat to greet him with a battle’s hero welcome. One, two, three, minutes piling up as uncountable as the hidden tears that you cry each week in after the city’s asleep. Let’s be fair, you should’ve seen this coming from a mile away. What was the last time Dean accomplished something he promised to you? He doesn’t even reply to your text message asking if he was okay. Minutes trapped into hours, and you’re sitting with your back to the wall, right next to the door he should have burst out long ago. Time’s ticking, your mind is so tired and your body is sore; it’s exhausting to love someone like this, so you take a rest when sleep wins your hopeful, unclever thoughts.

Dean arrives one hour later, an oral scarlet letter on his tongue that tastes like beer and unregrettable priorities, an apologist expression accompanied of a very grumpy-ish Sam as the door is pushed open. The short haired hunter purses his plump lips at the sad sight; you sleeping on the floor next to the door, probably waiting for him. Maybe he should've answered your text earlier and not just rolled his eyes and ordered another drink. What a suburban mistake for a Winchester.

Dean doesn't turn around to face Sammy; his brother made his opinion on that matter very clear during their roadtrip. Instead, his aching body just leans in and picks you up bridal style — that would've made him smile in the gentlest way his blood-stained mouth and sharp teeth could, eye dipping with joy and a silent promise for the future, but now that only gets a stoic expression as he walks towards your shared room.

He dares to sigh. There you go, taking too much space and time. This might be a deceiving concept dappled with melancholic nostalgia, but to take space and time wasn’t a trouble before. Dean once worshiped the light-hearted emotion you could bring out his inner little monster - or his soul, whatever you wanna name it. The time wrapped around your finger as he was, and things were just good. Raw good. Yet, now he sees it; time’s always running, and so is him. It’s no surprise the heart he was holding fell and was left behind at some point of the race.

The hunter bumps on the door with his shoulder, leading inside the bedroom and placing you on the mattress. Your body can’t help but to cling to him as you mumble in your sleep; maybe it’s your fond memory, used to Dean’s body seeking some human contact only in the middle night.

Clicking his tongue, he pulls away. The movement is docile, just enough to wake you up. Dean can’t help but to groan at this.

‘’You came back.’’ You murmur, while Dean adjusts on the spot next to you in bed.

Arching his eyebrows with some comedic background, he answers: ‘’Of course I did. I live here.’’

Live. You wouldn’t call what he does living. More like a ghost hunting his old house when you are around. Or maybe you were the ghost and sure, most people would run away from it, but Dean always goes looking for the supernatural beings anyway. Unnerving that he’d make someone he loved out of one.

‘’Why didn’t you pick up the phone? I was worried.’’

He shrugs and kisses your hand. ‘’Was busy.’’

It’s a poor excuse, but those are all that have been holding you two together lately.

Here it is. Your inner anger for being treated wrong, the mad woman inside you scratching to come back. He has been treating you like a coat in Texas’ summer, like a stained flannel, like a forgotten feeling. You deserve more than this. You are so much more than this. Who he thinks he is?

But he has those green eyes that cried single man tears, and he’s so close you can feel his breath on your cheek. And you love that man so.

Instead, you smile and reach out for his hand. ‘’I missed you.’’

Dean doesn’t answer. He restricts any emotion to a grin, and suddenly you are under him. He pushes his lips against yours in a desperate act of recovery, to gain back what he somehow lost through the way. The green eyed man might not find his love in you, but there’s something else he can work with; luxury. Love was always harder to spell than lust anyway. To you, the way he howls against your lips is love. To him, it’s the confirmation of the absence of it. But he can’t let go.

Your hands and his, still together coaxing each other into giving in. It’s so easy that way. Dean rushes to rip your t-shirt, gaining a laugh out of your and a kiss to his jaw. He’s out of his pants before you can even pull away to assist him. The male catches your earlobe, kissing that sweet spot to make you whimper his name.

‘’Dean.’’

Your wince, his shirt is tossed away, just like your skirt. You aren’t wearing a bra, and quickly your cherry panties are pulled apart with a simple move of his finger.

‘’Gonna make you feel so good, babe.’’ His index finger is shoved inside your tight cunt. You throw your head to the back, spreading your legs open. You want to beg him to make you feel anything good, for him to be the reason of the holy and not hollow, just this once. ‘’You are so wet--’’ Another finger, they move inside of you in an attempt to find the right spot. ‘’So fucking tight for me. I’ve fucked you so many times and you’re still so tight.’’ Dean’s thumb caressed your clit as he licked his lips, relishing how you squirm and whine his name. What a good girl. ‘’Can’t wait to fuck you.’’

It doesn’t take much longer. The eldest Winchester quickly replaced his skilled fingers with his pulsating cock. His member begged to be inside you, squeezed by those warm and tight walls. Your pussy was always so good for him, taking him so nice. Dean moans at the sensation, his hand losing yours to hold the bedpost, his thrusting wildly against yours.

No more praising words, no more foreplay. He comes to get what he wants and you’re willing to give. He used to touch you like a priceless wine, now his hands are hustled and careless like you are just another bottle of cheap beer. Dean fucks himself into you and you can’t do anything but groan in pleasure. Sometimes the hurting can be delicious, too.

You crave more, though. Your hands, tiny compared to his, meet Dean’s back, nails digging into the bare skin in a reminder I’m here, you’re still mine. Your legs wrapped around his torso, which only caused his moves to go faster and more ferocious, destroying your needy cunt for any other. It feels so good to have him inside you, fucking you up to the point you are an inchorent ball of cum and sweat. He’s gonna get you there, it’s certain, Dean always does.

His thumb comes back to your vagina, digital press to your clit as he attacks your neck. You try to move your head and get those plump lips against yours, but he sounds like an animal, increasing his rhymin and sucking your tender skin.

Everything is so hurried and irrational and not intimate. He comes inside of you after your own release, marking you up with his orgasm. As soon as he’s dones, he crawls out of you and lays on his back. Sure, you come around and rest your weary head on his chest, but that’s what it is. Deep silence. Not the one where love or magic or whatever Aphrodite is made of fills the void and makes the lovers comfortable. No, this one is visceral, like a chuckle empty of joy. It’s like the tie of gold that tried you two were tangled and ripped. Your love should be celebrated, but he tolerates it. He tolerates everything you do. He tolerates your presence.

The wrath sneaks in smoothly and astute. You aren’t just one night stand or a sweetheart. How can Dean act like you are? You lift your head and watch him breathing with his eyes closed. It’s so brutal, emotionally violent how you are aware that he’s only doing that not to have pillow talk. Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over your barbed wire? Easily misplaced by the one who threw your boundaries away and out the trap there nowadays. You made him your temple, you mural, your sky, now you’re begging for footnotes in the story of his life.

In the rare cracks of lucidity, you picture what would happen if you did what your old, better self would do. Dean appears to assume you are fine, but what would he do if you break free and leave you two in ruins, took this dagger in you and removed it, gain the weight of you then lose it? He was so comfortable with you. Maybe he didn’t think you would ever do that, but there’s just so much a woman with your determination and cleaverity can take. Believe, I could do it. You did it before with others. Sometimes you need to leave to breathe. Perhaps it's time.

But then, he embraces you. Just like that, all your doubts and fears and bruises caused by his kisses are reduced to paranoia. You decide maybe you got it wrong somehow. Not even blinking at the thought that Dean enjoys cuddles. No, he’s pulling you closer and snucking his nose into your hair because he loves you. Convince yourself. You are majestic with lies, it gets surprisingly facile to tell them when you nuzzle into the Winchester’s neck like his smell is some sort of placebo.

You aren't tiptoeing around it, or even stepping on the doubts with tiny hoaxes. You are barefoot on his love-- but his love feels a lot like walking through a street of fire and thorns. But hey, isn't that the point of devotion? To put something, someone first? To go through any suffering and starve to get to the prize, to walk through the golden gates? If this was a church, the priest would tell you to get on your knees and pray harder. You can see where he’s going. You’ll do better. Be everything Dean needs. You can be worthy-- you are worthy. You were his everything once and you can be that again. Pick up the soul tapestry he shrewd so unintentionally and patch it up. Most of those things must be in your head anyway, and if they aren't… Well. He will love you that deeply again, right? Right? It’s an echo. Right.

Tomorrow you’ll try again. In the name of love, condepedency, or whatever it is. Sit and watch him.

Comment & reblog. Feedback is magic! Check my masterlist ♡ Tags in reblog!

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester smut #supernatural #spn #supernatural imagines #spn reader insert #dean winchester x you #dean winchester imagines #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #dean winchester headcanon

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allexiaah · 2 years

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dbd for the blorbo meme

Thank you so much for the ask!! I'm very sorry for the delay on this—i was out helping my grandparents over the weekend for the most part and didn't have a whole lot of time to dedicate to this. But here you go!!

— blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): It's so hard to pick between em all sometimes, since I love so many of these characters so much, og4 in particular, so I'll go with the ones I think about the most and consider comfort characters. I still couldn't pick just one, so I'm going with both: Philip Ojomo and Claudette Morel. I love them so dearly <3

— scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): man I really don't know for this one. I'd have to say like... Jeff? Or Claudette? But that still doesn't... Feel right. I don't have a single clue lol. I don't have any "omg I love you and also I'd kick you down the stairs (affectionate)" kind of faves? I don't think I ever have, I just don't quite like characters that way.

— scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) Easy—Jeff. Most of my personal faves I do feel are definitely underrated, but most others at least have occasional content for them. Jeff really doesn't get the love he deserves. Adam for sure too. Lisa Sherwood too. Love all of em, but they hardly get crumbs out here TwT

— glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Man, I wouldn't say that I'd be going on about it for a week, but I'm a huuge sucker for Benedict Baker and his writing, and I like thinking about Vigo. I find all of the lost tapes survivors intriguing too, since we know so little about them, and I'd be SO into it if the devs gave us even a crumb's worth of information for them, though I doubt they will at this point. Same with new Benedict entries, unfortunately. ;')

— poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I really don't like a whole lot of really "problematic" characters do I? Lol. Man, I dunno. Michael Myers? I mean what happened to him WAS fucked up going by one "storyline" (I've never watched the Halloween movies but I need to still. But I have sort of formed an opinion on him based on other people's, which I know isn't ever a good way to do it but still). Charlotte and Victor aren't faves by any means, mostly just interesting and a mild enjoyment, but maybe them? I think they're mostly underrated though. Not too sure honestly. Myers fits the bell as best as I can say. Otherwise, I'd probably say Legion, and Frank specifically (Joey for a fave, I guess? I like him + Susie most but she's not exactly viewed as "problematic"), because Frank, while not a real fave, is incredibly interesting to me as a character to think about and explore and see other people's interpretations on, and he did some real fucked up things.

— horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): My visceral hatred of the Clown extends beyond what I should type here. If I went off, we'd be here all fucking day. I HATE THAT FUCKING GUY. I WOULD KILL HIM WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS. Freddy is easily right next to the Clown on that list, and Danny is so fucking punchable I hate that smug bastard. Doctor and Ji-woon as well. TALBOT TOO. HE PUT A HOLE IN MY BOY PHILIP AND FUCKED UP EVERYONE ELSE BEYOND BELIEF. HIM TOO. Anyone who would take their sweet time torturing someone for fun, so honestly I'd say any of the more smug/sadistic killers. I've never been a huge fan of them at all, because I don't like their actions or character and I think they're spineless assholes who need a taste of their own fucking medicine, and some are just so much fun to hate and want to watch burn.

— eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): EASILY the Entity. Talbot too, I think, and again, most if not all of the more sadistic/smug killers. Azarov without a DOUBT.

This was.. a very interesting ask meme LOL. Thank you for the ask, it's always fun to do these, and I appreciate the interest. Again, so sorry for the long wait—i need to get better at answering my asks when I get them, or I forget I need to answer them lol. But don't mistake that for disinterest! I really am. Sometimes I just.. forget about things even when they're interesting and things I want to do, though. Happy Valentine's day as well to you, anon! Thank you

#allex answers #ask #anon #dbd #dead by daylight #my stuff #always love getting ask memes! ty anon <3 #some of these were hard to answer and i always make my answers WAYY too long i think #that's how my brain works though TwT i try to articulate something in a few words but if it doesn't get what I'm actually thinking/feeling #across then i just keep adding words and eventually itll work out right? lol #so sorry for the word vomit TwT i hope its not too bad. but tysm for the interest! much love ^^

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kenobihater · 2 years

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Saw the tags and please, please, please give us a long, exhaustive meta rant about the things you dislike when people write lambden (and/or lambert and aiden individually). Even if you have to repeat yourself. I love listening to your thoughts on things and these two ESPECIALLY

Okay so this is gonna be a little long and rambling so I'm putting it under a cut. Obligatory disclaimer that if you do any of these things or read fics with these tropes, that's fine! I personally just don't like these things at all, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Now that's outta the way, I'll jump into what I dislike about how the fandom views and treats Lambert and Aiden.

Firstly, I hate when Lambert is flat. He's a wonderful character with a lot of depth and contradictions abt him, and reducing him to either 1) just a cardboard cutout of himself with nothing interesting about him or 2) a parody of himself and his anger are both terribly annoying and reductive imho. Yes, he's not the main character, but that doesn't mean you can take away everything about him and just write him as a blank slate. Reducing him to just one or two main character traits, like his anger and his sarcasm, is also something I see on occasion, and I dislike that, too.

Something else I dislike that you posted about yesterday was the way Lambert is sometimes written to be the one in the relationship who would get on a soapbox and moralize. Yes, he has a moral code, but no I don't think he'd push it onto anyone else. Ik people do this to contrast with Aiden's actions and show his lack of morals (which I also don't like, and I'll explain I'm a sec), but I think it's completely out of character for Lambert and should be avoided.

Okay, onto Aiden's characterization. We're given CRUMBS, but I feel like the crumbs we have don't jive with a lot of fanon characterization. Like, making Aiden a cold blooded killer for no reason, even though he "isn't like" a hired assassin doesn't ring true to me. Also, I think Lambert realizes that Aiden is a genuinely good guy which is why he considers him the best man he's ever met, so having him be this brutal assassin or an unstable killer just feels off!

Something I also dislike is when Aiden doesn't feel like a person, and lemme explain. Occasionally I'll read a fic where he's so nothing that he doesn't read as real to me and it actually breaks my immersion. When writing any character who has little to no screen time, you have to flesh them out a bit! You can't just try and make someone inoffensive to other people's headcanons, you have to make them your own! I understand wanting your writing to have a broad appeal, but you can't avoid giving a main character any discernable character traits or personality! Give him hobbies! Give him quirks! Give his character strengths and weaknesses! Otherwise you end up with something so inoffensive and bland that it bores me to tears.

Finally, there's the "psychotic cat witcher" trope, which I've already discussed at length, so I'll talk about a specific aspect of that trope that I don't like. Sometimes, I'll read a fic where Aiden is written as psychotic, and it isn't offensive! Shocker, I know! In some of these fics, though, oftentimes he just... doesn't read as psychotic to me? Like, it's obvious that they were going for that by the tags, but I just don't see any symptoms or hallmarks of any psychiatric disorders in the plot or writing. And no, I'm not saying a story has to have someone going off the rails for it to be a valid story about someone with psychosis, but psychosis can affect daily life, and to not show the ways Aiden could differ in his routine from a neurotypical witcher feels like a missed opportunity. Does he avoid drinking because it tanks his mood the day after? Does he check in with anyone like Lambert or Gaetan at certain times to make sure he doesn't go off the deep end? What do his manic episodes look like if he's written as bipolar? His depressive episodes? If he's written as schizophrenic or schizoaffective, how do his hallucinations affect his life? There's SO much you could do to make him psychotic without making a mockery of psychotic people so long as you have empathy, humbleness, and a desire to be accurate in your portrayals. Just some food for thought.

Thank you for listening to me ramble lol. I'm sure there's more that I have problems with, but that's everything that's coming to mind atm!

#len answers

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hyperfixatinglove · 2 years

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perhaps apus, gemini and vulpecula for the f/o of choice? -ofloveandknights🍃

These ignited my inner Aiden lover-

Apus - What sort of future do you and your F/O desire to have? What sorts of things are keeping you from it (if there is anything)?

Aiden would desire a future where he'd get to see Jacks sometimes. His nephew is everything to him, as well as his sister Nicky. To see them sometimes would be good enough.

After I worm my way into his heart, he would like me to be beside him. He knows better than to imagine us living together, unless we move out of Chicago. His another ultimate desire would be living far away from ctOS as possible, no more network that sees everything and everyone. Oh and fixers wouldn't be after him. No one would be.

I just want him to be safe & with me.

Things keeping us from this are ctOS itself, various fixers, government, possibly Jordi, his own incline towards crime & violence.

Gemini - How alike are the both of you? How different are you? How do these things effect your dynamic?

We are both introverts, fiercely protective of those we love, inclined towards violence, have walls around us.

But where I tend to care about other's emotions, thoughts & well being, Aiden notably does not. He only cares about what he considers his family's safety above everything. Above other people's lives, his life, everyone's privacy. The list goes on.

Aiden also has thicker walls around him. He's extremely hard to read, as he keeps his mask on at all times to manipulate & gain upper hand. Contrast to me who's very open with my thoughts & vulnerabilities. I make him out to be bad guy huh.

Aiden has seen far more shit than I ever will, been in crime for decades, done things I would never do. Hell, I would never wield a gun! He has arsenal. He also tends to do something about the things that irritate him, while I do not have means to.

These facts make our relationship, rocky to say the least. It takes a long time, to get Aiden to trust, to open up and he tends to disappear for days at a time, but it's okay because I do it too.

It takes a while for me to get used to him not having anything to say to whichever subject I am talking about, simply because he has the mask on. With the mask he has no personality, nothing that could be used to identify him. He's just Some Guy but weaponized against the system.

His obsession with revenge & subsequent nightmares about his niece's death greatly affected our relationship. He hardly thinks about anything else, hardly remembers to eat or sleep. It's hard for him to focus on anything mundane, even if it is about my life. Our early meetings are one-sided, for him to sleep & eat and for me to ramble without getting anything out of him. He basically crashes at my place to take care of himself every few days, because he isn't welcome at his sister's.

He improves on this after killing Quinn and others he considers responsible, since he's around more and is able to focus on mundane things. The nightmares never go away, the guilt never leaves.

Vulpecula - Who is the more vulnerable of the two? Who is the more closed off one? How did you gain each other’s trust?

I answered this above, but I'm vulnerable and Aiden is closed off.

I kept bugging him. Kept talking, allowing him into my home, took care of him, took interest in his "work" in a way no one else had. You could say I wore him down, wormed my way into his heart despite all his defenses. Kept coming up with theories about him since he refused to tell everything which caused him to debunk them and give me some crumbs of info to play with.

Why he didn't manipulate me you ask? Out of gratitude. He doesn't like doing favors, but he isn't ungrateful. He tries, a few times at first when he comes around my apartment when we first met, but found I could give him info anyway. He liked to hear someone sincere talking for once, instead of fixers who shoot you in the back.

How did Aiden earn mine despite all his suspicious behavior? Gut feeling. I had this gut feeling he had good in him. Enough, so he wasn't absolute bastard. That and he helped me out of tough spot where I could have been easily killed.

He needed a guy he couldn't trace but happened to come across me being jumped on by guys I eavesdropped on. His source, Clara, finds I know something useful to Aiden so Aiden helps me out in exchange for the info he needs. He never steps into the building he helps me out of, cameras do the guiding, phone talking. He catches me after I get out, about to use his intimidation tactics on me but notices I'm already about to spill anyway, so he just listens.

I insist I bring him to my place since he looks so tired he would collapse & is hungry af and that's how we met. I just knew he wasn't completely a bad guy.

#masking feelings #letters of love #this feels like a mess #but thank you!!

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thebrotherssalvatore321 · 4 years

Text

Keeping Secrets Ch. 1

Keeping Secrets Masterlist

Pairing: DamonxOc. TylerxOc in future chapters, ElijahxOc, KlausxOc is endgame. She’s never sleeping with more than one guy at a time. This is just a long story with 25 chapters so far that I’m also posting on FanFiction.net. Warnings: She does however cheat on someone in future chapters if that counts as a warning.

Keeping Secrets

Katie Finnegan’s house sat on a beautiful street lined with beautiful houses. It was actually right down the street from her best friend Elena’s. Elena had recently lost her parents and was now under the guardianship of her aunt Jenna. It was a bleak situation, but one that Elena and her brother Jeremy could with time bounce back from with the loving support of their aunt. Katie on the other hand had long been plagued by the loss of her parents who died from a cause unknown to her when she was just ten years old.

Unlike Elena and Jeremy, Katie didn’t have any loving aunts or uncles to take her in. All she had was the abusive grandfather who she had never even met despite the fact that he lived in the same town that she did. She didn’t even know what he looked like until he showed up on the doorsteps of her parents house with a suitcase and two moving trucks. One was for her parents stuff to be packed up and auctioned off and the other was full of his.

Only after he showed up did she realize that she had seen him around town, but her parents never acknowledged him. At first she couldn’t understand it. For the first few months he was okay. He didn’t talk to her or play with her much but that was fine with her since she was always good at playing by herself, but once the social workers stopped coming by to make sure she was settling in okay, things started taking a turn for the worse. If she accidentally spilled her drink or dropped even a crumb he would lash out at her. Then she started understanding why her mother ran away with her father at the age of seventeen.

As she got older she got to know how to stay out of his way when he was sober, but when he was drunk there was no avoiding him. By the time she was seventeen she was sneaking out of the house on weekly biases just to get away from him. She thought over the years that her friends, Elena, Caroline and Bonnie would have figured out what was happening to her at home, but they never did. She became too good at hiding it and brushing off the bruises and cuts as her being clumsy. So they never asked more and she never told. She put on a good face and acted like every other sporty teen age girl looking forward to getting into college on a scholarship. She dreamed of the day she could leave Mystic Falls in her rear view and never look back.

Chapter 1

Katie Finnegan sat at the dimly lit roll top desk, in her bedroom writing in a spiral notebook that had the word journal written on the front cover in black ink. Her auburn waves, tamed with just the right amount of styling product, hung around her face and she tucked one tendril behind her ear then pushed her glasses up her nose and continued writing. "Today was the second day of school. Summer is officially over, no more avoiding my friends as much as possible. I saw Caroline and Bonnie at cheer camp, but Elena didn’t make it this year. So it's back to the real world. And the real world has given us high school girls some new eye candy. His name is Stefan and he already has eyes only for Elena. Although, it seems like Caroline is going to give her a run for her money. She's already practically stalking the guy. I'm supposed to be getting ready to go to the stupid back to school bonfire tonight, but I don't really want to go. Why would I? It's just going to be a bunch of people getting drunk and hooking up and that will just remind me that no one wants to be with me. I'm invisible. Sometimes I think I'm just a ghost that only my friends can see and sometimes even they don't see me. I'm not looking forward to sneaking out tonight. Last time I got caught Grandpa nearly beat me to death. But I have to go tonight otherwise I will never hear the end of it from Caroline in the morning. So I’ll talk to you later, Journal."

Katie tucked the pen inside, closed the book and pushed it away from her. With a sigh she pulled on a pair of dark wash distressed jeans, a black ac dc tank top and her favorite black leather jacket that she'd found for a good price at the local resale shop. She finished the look off with red converse and touch of tastefully smudged eyeliner.

With tentative steps she pushed open her bedroom window and eased herself out onto the roof. After glancing over the edge to make sure her grandpa wasn't waiting for her at the bottom like the last time, she started climbing down the surprisingly strong rose trellis. Now that she was safely out of the house she put her car into neutral and pushed it a few blocks away then started it and headed to the party.

The party was what she expected it to be and after drinking a few cups of beer and having a few laughs with Bonnie, she decided to stop, otherwise she wouldn't be able to climb back up to her room. She was tossing her empty cup into the trash when she spotted Stefan, who had taken up most of Elena's time, near the treeline watching her talk to her ex boyfriend Matt. Excusing herself from Bonnie who was telling her how she saw a crow when she touched Elena's hand she headed over to Stefan. "Hey." She greeted him with a small smile that he returned with his own greeting as if he didn't want to talk to her. "Don't worry unlike every other girl at this party I'm not going to throw myself at you." She laughed as she moved to stand a few feet beside him, making Stefan surprisingly give her a laugh and a genuine smile. "I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Katie, Elena's friend." She informed him. "I saw you over here looking all jealous and I figured I'd let you know that you don't need to be."

"Yeah, why's that?" He asked turning toward her without moving his feet as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"I know it's not my place to say and I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, but...she's over Matt. Has been for a long time now. She just couldn't make herself hurt him." She answered. "She's sweet like that."

"Well, you're..."

"Weird." She finished since it seemed like he was looking for the right word to describe her.

"I was going to say forward, but weird works." He laughed. "You know, you're the first girl that hasn't tried to hit on me since I got to this school. It's kinda refreshing, but I don't get it." He looked at her with pursed lips and puzzled eyes. "Why are you trying to help me get the girl?" Stefan asked.

"Because I’m weird.” Katie answered as if she were trying to sound mysterious then laughed. “Na, it’s really because I knew I didn't stand a chance." She answered as she dropped her eyes to the ground then got quiet for a second. "And also because she's one of my best friends and she's had a hard year. She could use a little happiness."

"How do you know I'll make her happy?" He asked with a tight lipped smile.

Katie glanced up at where Matt and Elena had been to see that Matt was gone and Elena was looking at the two of them. "Because," she started then turned to look at Stefan across her shoulder, "now she's the one looking jealous."

She was pretty sure that once Stefan looked at Elena he forgot all about her. So she went back to the party, meeting Bonnie at the top of the small hill. "Hey, where you goin'?" Bonnie asked when Katie walked past her.

"The grill. I need coffee if I'm going to sober up enough to get home before Grandpa leaves for work and realizes my car isn't there." She replied and kept walking.

"Okay, we’ll meet you there later." Bonnie called after her and Katie waved over her shoulder letting her friend know she heard her.

After getting a hot coffee Katie chose a table outside and pulled the book they had been assigned for English out of her bag. She was half way through the assigned chapters when sirens started blaring and cop cars sped past the grill toward the party. After they passed out of sight her phone vibrated and she looked at the screen to see a text from Bonnie that said, "Vicki was attacked by an animal."

She didn't have enough minutes left on her phone to text Bonnie back, so she called her since it was free. "Hey, what do you mean she was attacked by an animal? Is everyone okay?"

"I don't know, Elena and Jeremy found her in the woods with some kind of bite on her neck. No one else seems to be hurt, but they’re putting Vicki in an ambulance right now." Bonnie answered, sounding worried and tense.

"Oh my god, do I need to come back?" Katie pressed her fingertips to her lips not knowing what else she could say.

"No, me and Caroline are about to head your way. We’re gonna sober up while we wait for news." Bonnie told her.

"Okay, just...stay safe okay?" She got a positive answer from Bonnie then hung up the phone. Not being able to read anymore she tucked the book into her bag and focused on sipping the still hot coffee. Ten minutes later Bonnie pulled up and parked in front of the grill. They got a table inside and the other two girls ordered coffee.

"Why didn't he go for me?" Caroline asked sounding whinier than usual, clearly talking about Stefan. "How come the guys that I want never want me?"

"I'm not gonna touch that one." Bonnie answered.

Caroline looked to Katie for answers. "Yeah, I'm not answering that either."

"I'm inappropriate. I always say the wrong thing..." She started listing off the things wrong with herself. Katie pulled a I'm gonna keep my mouth shut look and took a sip of lukewarm coffee. "And Elena always says the right thing. God, she doesn't even try and he just picks her. She's the one that everyone picks for everything. I try... SO hard and I'm never the one."

"It's not a competition." Bonnie said, looking at Katie for back up.

"Sorry, Bon, but sometimes it kinda feels like one." Katie said with a shrug.

"See." Caroline said with a motion to Katie. "Thank you."

After things calmed down and Caroline sobered up a little, Bonnie left the table to go pay the bill. Katie looked up from her empty cup and noticed Caroline smiling at someone and followed her gaze to a dark haired, ice blue eyed, gorgeous guy who was smiling back at her. "Looks like you found someone to like you back." Katie told Caroline with a grunt as she slid out of the chair and grabbed her bag. "Tell Bonnie I said good night."

"I will." Caroline replied not breaking eye contact with the guy. Katie just rolled her eyes and walked away.

She managed to sneak successfully back into her room and sat down at her desk, pulling her journal out and flipping to a fresh page. "Well the party was as I predicted it would be, except Vicki Donovan got attacked by some kind of animal. I wasn't there to see it, but it was apparently pretty bad. After the party Caroline, Bonnie and I met up at the grill to sober up. I got to listen to Caroline complain about how she never gets the guy and Elena gets everything. Of course right after this conversation she catches some super hot, blue eyed guy’s attention. Like, I can't stress enough how hot this guy was. The contrast of his dark hair and ice blue eyes was enough to make a girl's heart melt, not to mention the cute smirk he was giving Caroline. I hate to sound like Caroline, but why don't guys ever look at me? I mean I may not be crazy beautiful like Elena, Bonnie and Caroline, but I don't think I'm ugly either. Maybe that's why, because no one notices the average girl. And that's exactly how I would categorize myself. Whatever, who needs a guy anyway? All they bring is trouble. I need sleep. Ttyl Journal."

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rome5683 · 3 years

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My Secret Mate - Chapter Three

My body was warm all over. I squeezed them tighter to me, savoring the feeling it gave me to feel them against me. It was peaceful, and exciting at the same time. I groggily opened my eyes as I smelled something too delectable that caused a stir in my loins. My breath hitched, seeing his neck right against my lips. His scent was so amazing to me. I could feel my inner wolf stir, Mate. Mark him. He's ready, he's here. Just for us.

Mate or not, he's not our property. He should choose when to be marked, and when to take the next step in being mated. Calm down, Sirius. I took a deep breath, trying to soothe myself back into sleep. But I was suddenly aware of everything about Seth's body pressed into mine, so I got up. I regretted it the minute I got up, because the cold replacing him was blunt.

I ran a hand through my hair, and suddenly winced at the small headache that I felt in the back of my head. It wasn't that bad. As a werewolf, I had supernatural healing and it would go away very soon, which was also why I wasn't that drunk last night. But when Seth woke up, it would probably hurt him a lot more. I could feel Sirius frown at the idea of him in pain.

Protect him, help him. Help mate. I agreed, and walked downstairs. I was surprised to see the house wasn't that much of a mess. I walked into the living room to see Monsè picking up some cups here and there, and I could hear Lance cleaning in the kitchen.

"Hey, what happened after I went to bed?"

She gave me a hesitant face, almost as if contemplating what to say. "Well, Trent got super drunk and came onto Lindsay, which got him a painful shove. Then Bella got super sad and tried to get me to help her look for you, but then I saw you with... that guy."

My eyes widened, "Oh. Yeah, um, he's... wait, what exactly did you see?"

Her face reddened, looking away. "Well, I saw you guys kissing, and I immediately closed the door."

I blushed, feeling embarrassed about her seeing me that way. "Um, well. Did Bella see-"

"Are you gay?" Her question knocked me off balance, and I considered it for a second. Was I? I certainly wasn't attracted to anyone else anymore, but I still could appreciate women's bodies, as well as appreciate men's.

I shrugged, looking forwards the floor, "I think I'm bisexual. I don't know, everyone always assumes straight is the default. I guess, I assumed that too. But when I think about it... men can be attractive to me too."

I looked up to her nodding and going back to cleaning, and raised an eyebrow. "You don't care?"

She rolled her eyes, "Why should I? I only asked because I was curious why you'd make out with some random guy instead of Bella. And even though we're supposed to be super social as werewolves or whatever, you're not always one to go out of your comfort zone-"

"He's my mate."

She looked at me like a deer caught in headlights, showing how the new information was shocking. But then her face went back to its neutral expression, "Oh. That makes sense." Then her eyes widened, "Wait. Your mate's human?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

She winced, "Oof. I wouldn't wanna be you."

I frowned, a growl building up in my throat. "My mate is perfect for me, human or not."

She shook her head, "That's not what I meant. You're gonna have to mark him, and then that'll turn him, and make him go into heat if he hasn’t already. That's a lot of pain to go through for the both of you, especially the turning part."

This piece of information hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered the first time I heard about it from the other wolves' gossip, about how one of the human mates had been going through the change and was in so much pain. I guess I was too confident about having a werewolf mate, that I forgot about what it meant to have a human mate.

I tried not to think about it as I went to the kitchen to get two cups of water. Lance raised an eyebrow at me as I entered, "So, your mate's a human guy?"

I hesitated, wondering where this was going. "Yeah, last time I checked."

"That's cool. So, he likes you back and everything. I mean, you guys kissed so that must mean he likes you."

I nodded, feeling a little sheepish. "Well, I hope so. We did talk a lot too so..."

He huffed, "Okay. Well, I have a friend..."

I tried to restrain my grin, and he rolled his eyes at me. "It's not me."

I withheld my laugh, feigning that I believed him as I nodded for him to continue.

"And this friend... he kissed his friend, a guy. But now his friend has been ignoring him... and my friend doesn't know why. I think it's cause my friend usually plays around a lot with girls, but maybe his friend doesn't like him the same way?"

I thought for a second, thinking how complicated it must be for him and Keith. "Sounds complicated. Maybe they should have a deep talk? Get everything off their chests."

Lance nodded, going back to washing the dishes while lost in thought. I filled two glasses with water before going back upstairs. I walked back into my room to see Seth on the phone, and I handed him his glass of water.

He looked up, his face still looking amazing with exhaustion tracing his features. His blush was entertaining to see, and I grinned.

"Mornin', beautiful."

He shook his head slightly as he drank his water, groaning. "That alcohol hit me hard."

I shrugged, "You weren't exactly super drunk, though."

"I don't get crazy, or anything. But the hangover is regrettable..."

"Oh." I went over to my bathroom, getting him some Tylenol from my mirror's cabinet. I walked over, feeling glad to be able to help his headache. "Here. It'll help."

Seth nodded, drinking the tablet down with water. I went over to my bedside table, grabbing my phone and checking the time. It was already ten in the morning, which was pretty late considering I woke up extra early everyday for school. "Any plans for today?"

He shook his head, "Not really, it is a Saturday. I was planning to stay at home and watch Netflix for the majority of it. Luckily, my mom's away on business, so she can't freak out about me being away last night."

"But your curfew-"

"I was just supposed to call her when I got home.”

"That's good, I guess. Wanna stay for breakfast?" I went to my closet, taking off my clothes from last night.

"Ye-Yeah. I don't really have much else to do..."

I pulled on some black joggers and a white tee. I pulled off my earrings, necklaces, and rings on my small jewelry stand. I glanced in the mirror, hoping my appearance was okay. I suddenly heard a loud heartbeat, and I looked over to see Seth's reddened face and wide eyes that were scanning me up and down.

I couldn't help the pride that came over myself when I saw the effect I had on him, "You okay?

He nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah. Um, I just couldn't help but notice you have a lot of defined... structure in your body."

I shrugged with a coy smile, sitting on the bed next to him, "I guess it's the genes."

"Mm." He bit his lip, and shook his head. "So, about last night-"

Monsè burst through the door, "MOM'S ALMOST HOME!" She ran over to me and Seth, dragging us by the hand to the living room. "YOU GUYS ARE HELPING!"

I nodded with a small gulp, suddenly remembering how much Monsè could be as scary as Mom sometimes. Seth got a broom out as I picked up the bigger pieces of trash on the floor, and when we were done with that, we cleaned the furniture for stains and crumbs of food. Monsè tidied up and re-arranged everything back to how it was, like the decor in the living room and the kitchen, as well as the photos in the hallway. Lance and I placed the audio and lights system in the garage, deciding it'd go there until Lindsay would come pick it up. I fell on the couch, sighing in exhaustion after an hour of cleaning. I could hear Seth and Monsè in the kitchen, making small talk as they both cooked breakfast. Lance sat beside me, "So does sex with a guy feel better than when it's with a girl?"

I sighed, feeling a sliver of offense and amusement at my brother's stupidity. "Have you even had sex with a girl?"

"Well-"

"Nope. You haven't. Because if you did, you wouldn't ask such a stupid question, Lance."

"Why is it stupid? It's a legitimate question-"

I felt exasperated, "Dude, I don't know. I haven't had sex with either gender, and I don't plan to have sex in general unless my mate says he'd like to."

"But, didn't he spend the night-"

"Which meant nothing. He stayed the night, and we slept. Literally. He's a human, remember? Most humans don't just sleep with someone right after meeting them, mates or not."

"Uh, I feel like that's not entirely true-"

"Lance." I gave him a deadpanned stare, "I really can't talk about this right now."

He gave me a knowing smile, "Sirius acting up?"

I cursed, hearing my wolf howl at the idea of mating Seth. "Like no tomorrow."

If you really cared about our mate, Sirius, you'd wait until he was ready.

I'm just excited. Leave me be.

You first.

"Yeah, I get you. Landon just loses his shit every birthday that gets closer to finding our mate."

I huffed, "You'll find them soon. Just, don't get too caught up in other people, it could just complicate stuff.

"Like you and Bella?"

I frowned, thinking how she might feel now. I did give her false hope, but hopefully she would take it well. "Yeah. I mean, I don't have feelings, but I know she does. I don't wanna hurt her."

"Seems a little late for that."

The smell of bacon drifted in the air, and my stomach growled. Lance sniffed the air with a groan, "Damn. That smells amazing."

I nodded in agreement as we both got up and walked towards the kitchen. I saw Seth slightly swaying back and forth on the stool as he ate a plate of egg, hash browns, pancakes, and bacon. There were two other plates awaiting on the island, Lance and I sat eagerly as Monsè served herself some milk in a cup.

Seth poured syrup on his pancakes, "Thanks for having me for breakfast, guys."

We all nodded, Monsè poured us cups of milk as she spoke. "What are mates for?"

I glared at her as Seth raised an eyebrow, "Mate?"

Monsè and Lance shared a smirk as she continued, "Yeah, you know. Friends, pals, buddies..."

I seethed, and interrupted quickly, "So what does your mom work in?"

He looked to me, "Oh. She's a social worker. Sometimes she goes to different counties which makes me have the house to myself."

Lance grinned, "Must be fun. You ever throw parties?"

He shook his head with an amused smile, "Not really, I just like to watch Netflix and read books.”

I took another bite of my bacon strip, "I don't usually throw parties but, I figured it'd be cool to have one big one for the special eighteen, you know?"

He nodded, I continued, "When's your birthday, Seth?"

He sipped at his milk, "May."

I was stumped for a second, "Wait. Doesn't that mean you should be-"

"I should've graduated, yeah. I was..." His cheeks reddened, "Held back. Unfairly, might I add."

I chuckled, "What happened?"

My siblings gave him an expectant look, and Seth sighed. "Okay, but you can't laugh."

"Alright."

"So, I was in fifth grade, and on the day of the state test, I got super sick and had an urge to vomit all the time. But it was, like, state tests so I had to go, and when I finished the test, I vomited all over the tests. It was the holes you fill in with bubbles so..."

Monsè gasped, "No."

Lance and I groaned in unison at the embarrassment of it.

"Then, the school and my mom decided I should redo the year over so I can take the test again- which sucked- but it's whatever."

"At least we got to meet."

He looked up, a blush rising to his cheeks. "Yeah, I guess. Listen, I need to talk to you-"

The lock clicked, and everyone but Seth turned to the front door from the kitchen. We could hear them muttering, and I laughed at one of their comments that I could make out.

"It smells like teen desperation in here."

Seth looked at me confused, and I shook my head.

Monsè whacked the back of my head and I winced, pointedly glaring at her. Her loud and scolding voice rang in my head, ‘Could you be any more obvious?’

"Ooh, it smells delicious-" My mom stared with wide eyes at Seth, she hadn't been able to smell him due to the other smells lingering in the house from the party no doubt, and was certainly surprised. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "It's okay I'm confused, right? Who is this? You didn't tell me someone was sleeping over."

My father followed in right after, looking at all of us with a confused gaze. "Um, what's going on?"

I scratched the back of my neck, "Mom. Dad, this is my ma-"

Seth interrupted, standing up and extending his hand. "Friend. Seth Truman." His nervous chuckle rang in my mind as I gave him a questioning glance, and even Monsè and Lance looked at me confused. What did he think I would say? Why did it matter? I wondered how much longer I would have to court him in a human way... "Sorry to barge in. I kind of crashed after the party last night."

My mom practically gushed, and looked at me while questioning me through the mind link. ‘Is this your mate?’

I nodded, scratching my neck in slight embarrassment. It wasn't that I was embarrassed of him, hell no. It's just that my mom was very sweet and open, that she was obviously adored with my mate as well, and that she might embarrass me. Who wouldn't be?

"Oh, it's no trouble at all. We're happy to accommodate you." My dad smirked at him from behind my mom as he spoke, and I shook my head in annoyance. My dad gave me a raised brow and I rolled my eyes at his smug expression.

"Ah." Seth chuckled nervously, "Thanks. Your daughter is really good at cooking."

Monsè smirked, and my mom smiled.

"Yeah, she's really big on cooking." I gave him my most charming grin, and he avoided my eyes with a small blush forming on his cheeks. "How about you?"

He looked at Monsè, "So do you always make pancakes from scratch?"

I scowled, and I could hear Sirius whimper in the back of my head. My jaw clenched, and I didn't know whether to be angry or sad. He was sending me mixed signals, and I didn't want that: just tell me everything clearly for fuck's sake. I didn't want to let my anger cloud my judgement, but I also wanted to give him the cold shoulder if he was going to do the same to me.

My mom's hands massaged my shoulders, and I couldn't help but feel calm and relaxed at the notion. I placed my hand over hers and squeezed it, thanking her for the help. My dad was next to us too, hugging her from behind and resting his head on her shoulder. I looked up and smiled softly, talking with them through the mind link, ‘Thanks.’

‘Of course, darling.’

Seth stood up from the barstool, "It was nice for you guys to have me, but I really should be heading home now."

"I'll drive you." I say as I stand up abruptly, and he was about to protest until my sister just patted his shoulder and shook her head. She knew damn well I was too stubborn. He nodded, understanding what she meant.

I took another bite of my plate and told Monsè to save it for me before going upstairs to get a hoodie and my shoes. I came back down in a hurry, and grabbed the keys beside the door, "Seth!"

He came from the hallway after I heard him say his goodbyes to my family, and I opened the door for him chivalrously.

We got in the truck, and I sighed as I sat down. I tried not to glance at him while I made sure the mirrors were okay, and I put on my seatbelt after starting the car. I was hoping to make conversation, so I left the radio off as I pulled out of the driveway. Seth looked out of the window and rested his chin on his hand, and I laughed mentally when I remembered that he'd have to give me his address. I could just drive around until he decided to speak up, and it'd be hilarious. I turned left, and went towards my favorite burger joint.

I glanced at him before speaking up, "So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

I pulled into the burger joint's drive-thru line, awaiting for my turn, and he sighed. "Okay. So about last night, what we did-"

"Was amazing." I smirked at him as I remembered the feeling of his body against mine while we slept. His lips were really nice too.

"It was a mistake." Seth twiddled his thumbs, and I felt a breath escape me. What was he saying? "Look, you're really nice and everything. But I know you and a girl named Bella have something going on, and... I don't want to be caught in the middle."

I cursed inwardly. I couldn't believe I would mess something up like this, and I wondered why I messed with Bella in the first place. Oh, because I didn't want a mate. Well, I changed my mind. I liked him, the feeling of him with me was amazing. I was keeping him, end of story.

"Bella and I were never even together." I pulled up in line, almost close to the order section. "So we messed around a couple times, it meant nothing."

"Maybe to you, but it means a lot to her." He scoffed, and I suddenly realized something.

"Wait, how do you even know this?"

He looked away before cursing under his breath.

"Did my sister-"

"No. Last night, I could see the way she looked at you." I narrowed my eyes, knowing he was keeping something from me. "Fine. I overheard you and Lance talking."

"Oh." I tensed up, then relaxed when predicting it was probably the last part of the conversation since he wasn't concerned about the other parts. "What I said still stands."

"But it didn't mean anything! It was just a drunken kiss-" I interrupted his exasperated rant.

"Not for me." I gave him a hardened stare, clenching my jaw in determination. "I like you, okay? And I want to get to know you."

He looked shocked, and sat back in his seat as he thought to himself. I awkwardly pulled up to the order section of the drive-thru, and asked for two milkshakes.

"I'd like strawberry, please."

I nodded, changing Seth's to strawberry, and made mine Oreo. It was only seven bucks, and was well worth it. I parked in the lot outside and Seth raised a curious brow, "Why aren't you driving me home?"

"I don't really feel like it." I grinned, feeling amused now. Had he noticed yet?

"What are you talking about? You said you would." He furrowed his brows, starting to look angry. I shrugged, nonchalant.

"I changed my mind." He was about to protest when I chuckled, "I'm kidding. You never gave me your address."

"Ohhh." He blushed, embarrassed and I chuckled again.

"It's okay." I tossed him my phone, "Just type it in."

He sipped noisily while typing it in, blushing as I gazed at him while sipping my own drink. It was tasty, but all I could think of was how I woke up next to him in bliss. He handed the phone back to me, and I memorized the route there before placing it in the middle. It wasn't that far, and I parked in his driveway no later than ten minutes.

He ran his hand through his hair with a sigh as I shifted the gear into park. He silently got out of the car, and I wondered for a moment if I should let him go like this. I could hear Sirius whimpering, and I decided I couldn't just leave it like this.

I got out of the car in a hurry, and he looked at me in surprise in front of his door. I scratched the back of my neck in anxiousness, "So about earlier..."

"I can't." Seth held the bridge of his nose, seemingly frustrated. I looked at him, feeling confused.

"Well, why not?"

He groaned, "What part of it being meaningless don't you understand?"

"What part of this," I grabbed his hand and placed it on my chest, feeling the same sparks from last night, from every time I've ever touched him, all over again, "do you not understand? I know you feel it too."

He looked conflicted, his eyes shutting as if in concentration as his body reacted to my subtle touch. My thumb rubbed across the back of his palm, and he huffed at me with a glare. I knew I looked desperate, but I couldn't help it. At first, I thought having a mate would be disastrous and painful. Being forced to be with someone, like some Neanderthal from the 1800s, or something. But then I saw that it wasn't really forced, and that it was a real connection.

"We have something. Don't deny it." His hand slowly became a fist against my chest, but I still held it there as I gazed at him. I silently whispered, "Please."

Seth's eyes met mine, searching for what, I have no idea. He was about to speak when a voice interrupted, somewhat smooth and high-pitched.

"Babe!" His hand quickly retracted from mine, and we both looked towards the sidewalk in front of his house. "Hey, I left you tons of messages. We were supposed to hang out this morning, remember?"

My wolf growled as I observed her, suddenly seeing an obstacle to his mate. She was a little shorter than Seth, with long black and wavy hair. She was slim, with average sized assets. Her face was heart shaped, with pretty red lips that complimented her pale skin and her eyes were big with brown doe-like eyes. She was pretty.

As she embraced him, he gave me a guilty expression while he hugged her back from the waist. My eyes widened as I realized what must've been obvious by now. Seth had a girlfriend.

"Oh fuck."

She looked up at me in confusion, and Seth visibly paled. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me, my emotions becoming numb as one ruled above the others; anger.

"I can't believe this..." I shook my head, murmuring to myself as I was almost seething at this point. "Motherfucker..."

"Can't believe what?" Her question had an edge, and I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I immediately turned on my charm, chuckling as I pretended to be bashful.

"How pretty you are. I mean, who thought Seth would have such a hot friend?"

Her eyes widened, and I laughed again before speaking up again.

"Oh, wow. How rude of me," I grinned mischievously as I extended my hand out to her, "My name's Xavier, with an X."

She smiled, her eyes still somewhat confused as she placed her hand in mine. I brought it up to my mouth, placing a ginger kiss on the back of her palm while she blushed. I could feel Seth's glare, but I kept my gaze trained on her as I let go of her hand. This is what I get for actually liking my mate. I should've rejected him from the start. God, I want to forget ever meeting this bastard. This hot bastard...

She chuckled, nervous, "My name is Cassie. It's nice to meet you."

"I assume you're single." I bit my lip with a smile, coyly crossing my arms to flex my muscles. Yes, I was being a douche on purpose.

"Oh." She laughed again at my flattery, "No. Seth here is actually my boyfriend."

I laughed back, still focused on her while I could see Seth's jaw clench from my peripheral view. "Oh. Yeah, I was hoping not."

I narrowed my eyes at Seth with a scowl. Cassie raised an eyebrow, and I shrugged as I grew a grin again.

"You know, because you're pretty."

"How do you know my boyfriend again?" She shook her head with a scoff, but still smirked.

"He went to my party last night. I had to let him crash at my place because he got a little rowdy, to say the least." I smirked back, and she looked at him with a questioning expression. He guiltily smiled, and she chuckled. "Then I drove him home after a nice breakfast. So, yeah."

She smiled again, "Well, thanks for that. I really appreciate you taking care of him."

"Yeah." I scoffed at the unknown innuendo she just made, and I laughed sarcastically. "Yeah, I took care of him. He was practically all over me too."

She gasped and Seth cursed under his breath.

"Seth, I didn't know you got that drunk." She pressed her hand up to his forehead, "Do you have a headache?"

He shook his head, smiling the fakest smile I've ever seen, and glanced at me nervously. I nodded while scolding myself, practically wanting to die right then and there.

"Well," I clapped my hands together, "I gotta get going. It was nice meeting you, Cassie," I extended my hand out and shook hers gently, then patted Seth on the shoulder roughly. "And it was good hanging out with you last night, Seth."

He nodded, his smile more like a grimace. I turned, feeling defeated before I came up with an idea suddenly.

"Hey, Seth!" Both he and his girlfriend turned around, Cassie curious and Seth panicking. I smirked, "Don't forget about our study session this Monday!"

She looked up at him, no doubt wondering what I meant, and he raised an eyebrow at me. I smiled, "You said you'd help me with History at my house after school this Monday, remember?"

I didn't have history.

Seth made a surprised expression before quickly giving me a thumbs-up. He then took his girlfriend by the waist, and turned her towards the front door while he discreetly gave me the finger. I laughed sarcastically to myself before opening my car door and sitting down in my seat. I turned the radio to my favorite station, and drove home.

The minute my bedroom door closed behind me, I exhaled heavily. The weight in my chest was so heavy. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I wondered if my family would ask me what was wrong if I cried. Luckily, I'd managed to avoid them as I stomped up to my room, but no doubt they already knew something was up.

I went into the bathroom, turning on the shower on it's heaviest. I took a deep breath as I looked myself in the mirror, trying to calm down, but I could feel the familiar sensation of my eyes tearing up. I clenched my fists as I choked up, and the sob broke out before I could stop it. I grit my teeth to try to stop it, sniffling while my hot tears were flowing now, but it didn't work.

This whole situation brought up things I'd rather forget. But I couldn't, no matter what I did, they stayed with me.

I had walked up to him during recess, smiling, 'Hey, why didn't you come over the other day?'

His eyes were hardened, and his mouth turned upwards in a scowl before he spat out the words I remembered all too well.

'Why do you care so much?'

I was about to respond, but he had already said the worst part.

'What are you? Gay?'

I shivered now as I did back then, exhaling deep as to not induce another sobbing fit. But right now, it was already too late, I was crying and I couldn't stop it.

He was another closeted male, except this time it was worse. He was my mate, my soulmate, and he had a girlfriend. I cursed the moon goddess, hoping I'd get smite down to avoid the pain of this. Unfortunately, the pain never went away.

It had already been an hour, and I heard my cellphone ring in my back pocket. It was Bella. I debated what to do, and Sirius practically screamed at the notion. I shook my head as I answered it.

"Hey."

———

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addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

Spidey Senses (pt. 2)

Peter Parker x reader

Summary: You have a talk with Happy and Tony, and Tony tries to fill in the blanks of your life.

Warning: Angsty memories

Word Count: 2879

Chapter 1 • Chapter 3

"Holy shit!" You said, surprising Tony over the language. "You're the Spiderman?"

"You're the Spidergirl?!"

You turned to Tony, who was watching this from outside the car. "You! Why didn't you give me a heads up?"

He only shrugged. "You didn't ask."

"You could've put two and two together!" He only smirked and closed the door. You turned to Peter. "Stark museum?"

"Yeah. You too?"

"Yeah." You buried your head in your hands. This was a lot to processs...holy crap, this just made him more amazing. Peter really does deserve the world.

"You okay?"

You brought up your head and nodded, gently smiling. "We have a lot to talk about."

Tony got in the front seat next to Happy, who was waiting in the car as well. Tony put up the divider so you two wouldn't hear the conversation. "I like her. She's got spunk, but is also a lot more mature than she acts."

Happy glanced at the drawing. "What's that?"

"A drawing from my number one fan." He put it on the dashboard and leaned back in his seat. "She's got a crush on him."

"The kid? Why?" Happy furrowed his eyebrows.

"Beats me, but he doesn't feel the same way. How does that makes sense? It's like when Cap turns down a woman for the hundredth time. Not this is the same situation, but still. Why is the history of blind men repeating itself?" He rested his fist over his mouth. "I'm trying to wrap my head around it."

Happy thought about it. "Let me see a picture of them." He showed him the picture of you two together. "Oh wow. She's adorable. What's wrong with him?"

"Who knows." He paused. "Pull over. I'm gonna find out." Happy pulled over and Tony opened your door. "Your sitting in the front for now. I wanna have a heart to heart with the kid."

You got up and looked at Tony in the eye. "Please don't embarrass me." He saluted as you sat in the front seat. "Hi. You must be Happy."

You smiled and stuck out your hand. He hesitated for a second before shaking it. It wasn't really a professional firm shake, but he appritiated your attempts to be polite. "You're y/n."

He started driving again, and you nodded. "Yup. Did Mr. Stark tell you anything about me?"

"W–uh, not really, no." You gave him a look and huffed, giving him an expectant look and unconsciously pouty face. "Okay, he told me you have a crush on the Peter kid."

"Ugh, of course he did. Is he always really nosy? I've literally never met someone as curious as him."

Happy chuckled. "Oh yeah. Why, how bad was it?"

"He intarrogates me about the pictures I have on my walls, goes through my kitchen drawers, looks at my bills, then walks into my room to make fun of me for my drawings."

You both laughed. "So you drew that picture?"

You looked at the drawing on the dash board. "Yeah. I guess you can say I'm kind of Mr. Stark's number one fan."

Happy let out a chuckle. "You don't act like it."

"That's because I can realize that he's a regular person with his own emotional issues going on, and that he's a good guy because he chose to be for the sake of others. Not for the fame, like the guy from Hammer tech. Ugh, their products suck. But yeah, he seems like a pretty good dude, even if he suffers from RPR."

"What's RPR?"

"Rich People Rudeness." You both laughed, and Happy thought for a moment.

"Wait, what do you mean when he looked through your bills?"

"Oh, I assumed that Mr. Stark told you." He shook his head. "I've been emancipated for about 8 months now."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to–"

"It's fine." You said lightheartedly. "It's not like it's common where you work or probably live." There was an awkward silence where you knew Happy regretted prying, so you picked up the conversation. "So, I saw that you're trained in boxing."

He smiled while keeping his eyes on the road. "Yeah. Do you know how to fight?"

"Um, I guess I did learn to fight as a kid, but it's considered dirty fighting."

"Hey, don't worry about it. Tony's always using dirty boxing when we go for a round."

You smiled and looked out the window. "Course he does. I wish I knew boxing."

"Well, maybe if there's time with all of this over, I could teach you."

"Aww, you'd do that for me?" You gave him a wide grin, and poked him. "Am I growing on you already?"

"You're not too bad, calm down."

Meanwhile, in the back of the car, Peter was nervous about the idea of Tony wanting a 'heart to heart'. "So," Tony said. "I want to get to know you. Tell me about this girl you like."

"Really?"

Tony took out the container that he put under the seat when he went to get you clothes. He opened it and took out a cookie, taking a bite. "Yeah, talk to me."

"Uh, are those y/n's cookies?"

"Yeah, how can you tell?"

"Those look like the double chocolate cookies that she makes." He unconsciously licked his lips; those were his favorite of yours.

"Do me a favor and don't tell her. I'll buy her some new cookies and give back the container. These are just really addicting."

"Yeah, they really are." Peter laughed out. "Well, the girl like's name is Liz."

"Is that short for anything?"

"No, it's just Liz. Anyways, she's really smart. Like, learning is actually important to her and she tries really hard in everything. My friends and I joined Mathletes for her."

"Your friends being..."

"Y/n and our friend Ned. She's really nice to everyone too. Like, no matter what. Not a lot of people in Queens are like that." Peter smiled and blushed.

"Yeah? You guys talk a lot?"

"Well, no. I get really nervous and choked up. I do get some words out, but I need to work on my confidence around her."

Tony shifted in his place to face more to Peter. "Let me ask you something, and think about it. What does she do when you choke up?"

Peter didn't see how this was an important question. "She usually just stares at me, confused. Her friends would drag her away or this guy named Flash will make fun of me and my friends and I walk away. That's usually how the conversation ends."

Tony had all the information he needed. If Peter was always stumbling over his words and this Liz girl didn't do anything about it, then she wasn't really confused. She was playing dumb, either to not embarrass him or because she wasn't interested. What he did know was that he could use this to his advantage. "Now I want you to compare that to the other women in your life."

"Oh, I don't really have other women in my life. I'm not that kind of person." Peter chuckled at Tony.

"I can see. Who are the women in your life then?"

He shrugged. "Just Aunt May and y/n really."

Tony repressed his smile. This was right where he wanted Peter. For being such a genius with science and technology, Peter was an idiot with people's feelings. "Okay then, let's think of a scenario with y/n."

"Why are–"

"Don't question me when I'm asking you something." He said sternly.

"Sorry." Peter mumbled.

"I want you to think of a scenario where you're trying to talk to y/n, but you can't. You're choked up and it's bothering you that you can't speak clearly to tell her something really important to you. What would she do?"

"Well, she'd probably tell me to stop talking, and have me take a deep breath. I could see her grabbing my hand and telling me that whatever it is I want to say is just as important to her if it is to me, and that I should know that I could always tell her anything. She'd probably make me go for a walk and swing our hands to sooth me while we wouldn't say anything. Then when I'm calm enough I'd tell her."

Tony learned two things from this. One, Peter was an oblivious dumbass who still had this likability to him somehow. And two, you had some game. Your flirting was strong even in a damn fake scenario, and you sounded smooth as hell. Tony needed to think about this. He needed to figure out what to say in order to nudge Peter onto you without saying Just kiss her, trust me.

"Y'know, one thing that I like about me and Pepper's relationship is that we can talk about anything for hours. She makes me comfortable and talking to her feels natural and at home. Make sure you feel your best around the girl you like."

Peter thought about this, and Tony dusted the cookie crumbs off his hands. "Okay that's enough advice I'm able to give." He said.

He knocked on the divider, which Happy put down. You did a double take, quickly turning around to look at the container in Tony's lap. "Are those my cookies?!"

He looked like he was trying to think of an excuse, but couldn't find one. "Yes."

You huffed and shook your head, looking back at Happy. "See what I mean?"

He sighed. "Oh Tony."

"Anyways, switch with the kid. I want to talk to you."

You got out of the car and made your way to Peter's door, where he just got out. "How'd it go?" You asked.

"Uh, he told me some stuff that was pretty interesting. But it was good advice. He obviously likes you more than me."

"I don't think it's possible for anyone to like someone else over you." You both smiled as you entwined your fingers together. "I bet he already loves you as much as I do."

He twirled you around, making you giggle. "Thanks y/n. I love it that I have a friend as amazing as you."

"Course." Happy and Tony both looked at each other to acknowledge the depressing friendzone blow you just took. As you slid inside the car you took the container from Tony, handing it to Happy. "Here you go. You two can have the rest."

Happy joyfully took the tupperware. "Happy, put the divider back up." Tony said. Once it was up, he turned to you and overly smiled. "He's cute, isn't he?"

"You don't have to make fun of me." You pouted.

He laughed. "I can see that he's a good kid, and socially awkward. You two were really friendly with each other."

"Not really. We grew up with each other, so it's just natural."

"I want to know what made you like him the way you do." He leaned his head on the seat as he gently smiled.

You looked down and shrugged, smiling. "He just has this light about him. No matter how sad life can get for me, he always makes me smile. He was there for me at my lowest. He knew about my mom, everyone in school did, but he was the only one who wanted to talk to me. Everybody else saw me as dangerous. Ned was reluctant, since he's always been overly cautious, but he warmed up to me. He was even there when I went to court to get myself emancipated."

"Tell me a story of him and you. When was a time where the two of you used your brains together?"

Your smile grew. "There was this time when Peter and I built a TV for me. I found as much as I could from scavenging around the home we lived in, and he had his parents buy the rest. It was our project together. It was an excuse to get away from my mom, and I was so proud of myself when we finished and it actually turned on. It made me love projects from then on. Projects are a reason to be around Peter, and a distraction from everything else."

Tony loved this. This was better than any Hallmark movie. Better than any romance story he's seen. "When did you first get a crush on the kid?"

Your smile left you. "That's kind of a long story." You looked down again, this time in shame. "My uh, my mom had a lot of friends over all the time. They did a lot of stuff, and put a lot of stuff in themselves. I didn't know what it was back then, but I knew it wasn't good. I stepped on a needle that was left on the floor, and whatever they had just took was in me too. I had a seizure, and whoever was still in their right mind called an ambulance. I was in there for three days, still trying to gain back all the feelings in my body. Peter visited me everyday, and fed me when my hand was too shaky for me to eat by myself."

He saw your watery eyes, and felt guilty for bringing it up. "Kid, I'm sorry for asking."

You shook your head and wiped your eyes. "It's fine. Peter told his parents that my mom was really sick, so let me stay there for a few days. We were only six, so we slept in the same bed. I think that's when I first got my crush on him. When he hugged me after getting woken up by my nightmares."

He smiled at you, but was filled to the brim with sadness. He didn't know what to do, what to say. He just wanted you to feel better. Damn, why did that amazing idiot like someone else? Without thinking, Tony pulled you in for a hug. You hesitated, but hugged him back. You didn't remember the last time you were hugged like this, but it felt really good.

At the same time, Peter was failing miserably at talking to Happy. He tried to ask him about his name, but got nowhere. They both opted for silently eating your cookies together. He did see one of your drawings on the dashboard, and picked it up to examine it. He put it back down, smiling and looking out the window. He was proud of you for giving it to Tony.

The car then stopped. You and Tony didn't say anything when pulling back, but you gave him a smile that he easily returned. As everybody got out of the car, Tony had Happy take out your luggages with new clothes and toiletries. He was going to have Happy bring them up, but you both protested and got it yourselves.

He explained the mission situation, and weak points in some of the people's fighting abilities. He then told you two to find your hotel rooms while he talked to Happy. He had a lot to gossip with Happy about you. He usually wouldn't be doing this with anybody, but he trusted to task Happy with looking after you in the future.

You both went in the hotel and gave your names to the front desk lady. Miraculously, she gave you two room keys without question. You excitedly went up to the 5th floor, and went to your connected rooms. You both went to Peter's side first, then yours.

"Yup, your side is a lot better." Peter said as he put his small luggage bag down at a corner of your room.

"What're you doing?" You asked.

"Don't you get nightmares when your in a new area alone? I'm gonna sleep with you."

You lightly smiled at the innocent but so meaningful statement. He really did care. "You remembered. Okay, let's get ready for bed then."

You both brushed your teeth together, and you changed in the bathroom while he took the bedroom. You were pretty nervous to leave the bathroom, with these small pj shorts on. The only times you've shown your legs are in PE, and even those shorts were pretty long. When you did step out of the bathroom, you saw that Peter was shirtless and had a frown. "Mr. Stark didn't pack any pajama shirts for me."

You shrugged, trying to not melt on the spot at the fact that his powers gave him super hot abs. "Maybe he figured you sleep shirtless."

"I guess." You both went under the sheets, and he cutely turned to face you with an adorable smile. "What did you and Mr. Stark talk about?"

"He wanted to know about my past."

"Oh." His smile was wiped clean off, and a worried expression replaced it. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I really am." You then wrapped your arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. "It just made me remember how lucky I am to have such an amazing person like you in my life."

He smiled and hugged you back. "I'm lucky too."

You then quickly dozed off in his arms, and he'd be damned if he accidentally woke your nice slumber, so he didn't move you. He thought about Tony's word of advice. He needed to learn how to talk to Liz like a regular person, and become closer. He can always speak to you normally. Maybe you could help him with that. That must've been what Tony meant. Yeah.

---

Author Note: Someone asked to be tagged but then deleted the comment, so to whoever that was, sorry I didn't tag you.

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