#we slowly fell out of friendship and then years later she texted me

[spoofyleaf]

Sometimes I remember that my whole house was so obsessed with the show Merlin, that we named the first tree we planted in the yard Merlin.

When it was given to us 11 years ago it was hardly a scraggly stick, and now it looks like a giant bush

Artist rendition

#this is the first year it has like!! actual bark!!! #only the middle/ main trunk #I’m so emotional over this tree you guys don’t even know #he won’t stop growing branches on the bottom #so he just looks like a huge bush when leafed out #then another tree we planted the same year looks like a Maple Tree TM #I love all the trees in my yard #every day when it’s warm enough I tell them all they’re doing a great jobs #and one who burnt during a really hot summer didn’t grow for YEARS #but we didn’t give up on it #no sir #we cut off the burnt limb #we kept telling it that it was doing great #and last year!!! it finally started growing new twigs!! #it grew more than like 5 leaves!!! #and this year so far there’s already a LOT of growth!!!!!! #and one tree I got from a childhood best friend like 5 years ago has absolutely taken off #like holy hell #the tree was a sapling from the tree from her backyard #it was my favourite tree growing up #it’s were we were kids together #guys no you don’t get it #we slowly fell out of friendship and then years later she texted me #‘hey you know that one tree you used to love? do you want a sapling from jt otherwise my mom is throwing it in compost.’ #‘she thinks you don’t care about this tree anymore but I know you do’ #*sobs* #Spoofy tambles

[pink-tonic]

Prologue🔪

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Warnings: Death, graphic depictions of violence, blood

There are a few text messages so:

Bold text = Ayato

Red text = Info-Chan

Green text = (Y/N)

It's the first day back after the incident with the boy.

I have never liked school all that much ever since I was little. The condition I was born with prevented me from having meaningful friendships with others. In turn, I got made fun for it. Labeled as a monster for something I couldn't completely control.

Except for one. My childhood friend, (Y/N) (L/N). I still don't know why he decided to be my friend, but I guess it wasn't too bad to have him around. Others started to view him differently since he associated with me, but those comments didn't stop him from being my friend.

As time passed by, we both started to drift apart, but that didn't matter all too much to me. I found someone else.

His name is Taro Yamada, and he is the younger brother of Taeko Yamada.

Taeko Yamada is the girl who made my world brighter.

I first met her at Taro's house, and I fell in love with her. My world gained color, and everything became so much brighter. For the first time, I felt emotion.

I could feel love starting to bubble up inside of me, and it scared me, but I couldn't help but embrace it. And it all started with a smile and a wave from her as she walked down the stairs.

I later found out that she also goes to Akadimi. How have I never noticed her?

With Taro being her brother, I had to use his connection with her to my advantage.

I told him one day that I caught feelings for Taeko. He seemed...unsure about what I said. It was as if he didn't want to believe my word, almost like he was scared.

It didn't matter what he thought, I knew it would be easy to get him on my side, but it was clear that the progress I wished for was not being made.

With time, I found someone else who could help me. Her name is Info-chan. I was skeptical about her, but I later found out she was valuable to have around.

One day, I got a massage from her.

I think you might want to know something

What is it?

The object of your affection, Taeko Yamada, also has other people after her.

Who is it?

It's a first year, I found out he is planning on confessing this Friday under the cherry tree.

What should I do?

That's all up to you.

I tried texting her, but she didn't respond, so I decided to take things into my own hands.

A day before he confessed, I made him follow me. It was quite easy to make him follow me. I was his upperclassmen, so he practically looked up to me.

I lead him into the boys' locker room. He started to ask questions, but I told him I needed something for practice, and it wouldn't take long to get it.

He waited patiently near the entrance. I walked towards my locker and took out a knife I had hidden within it.

I slowly walked towards him and pulled out the knife. With a quick motion, I sloppily sliced open his throat. I covered his mouth, and I could feel his nails claw at my clothed arm. I held him tightly, and my eyes traveled towards his struggling figure. I could clearly see his life drain out his eyes. He twitched a bit more before he laid limp in my arms. I then dropped his body, and a loud thud could be heard echoing throughout the locker room.

When I dropped him, a pool of blood started slowly trickling out of his throat and surround him. It was after school, and I made sure none of the sports club members were inside, and they wouldn't be coming back inside to change until an hour later. I had enough time to clean everything up.

First, I took off my clothes and went towards the showers. I rinsed off all the blood and then put on my gym uniform. I then grabbed my blood-stained clothes and knife, and headed out.

I headed to the incinerator, but I was met with a surprise. The gate was closed and there was a lock. This meant I couldn't get rid of thd knife, clothes or body.

I felt my nails dig into the fabric of my uniform. How could this happen?

I now had to look for an alternative way to get rid of the evidence. I decided to go to the home economic room and throw my clothes into the washer. While for my knife, I cleaned it at one of the drinking fountains.

Now, I had to get rid of the body.

I went back to the boys' locker room and still saw the student surrounded by his own blood. I first dragged his body closer to me and away from his blood. I also made sure to watch my step, I didn't want my shoes to get any blood on them.

When I got his body away from the pool of blood, I bent down and carried his body.

I started to run to the back of the cherry tree. I made sure none of the sports club members were around and made a dash towards the back of the hill.

I dropped his body harshly and rushed back to the school. I went to the restroom and got the cleaning supplies. I filled the blue bucket with water, dumped some bleach into it, and grabbed the matching blue mop.

I rushed back to the room. I placed the bucket down as some of the water spilled down. I dipped the mop into the bucket and started to clean up the blood.

Sweep

Dip

Sweep

Dip

I repeated these actions until the blood was all cleaned up. I picked up the blue bucket which now had bloody water in it, and I ran to the bathrooms. I dumped the bloody water into the sink, and I then cleaned the sink. I then headed back to get the mop. I cleaned the mop in the bathroom and then sat it back where I found it. As if nothing was moved.

I then ran to the home economic room. I took my uniform and rushed out of the school.

My first attempt was sloppy, but even if they found the body, it didn't matter. I'm still a free man, after all, and I'm planning to keep it that way.

They didn't find the body when I left, but the next day a teacher found it in the morning.

I still remember that day. I wasn't nervous or scared. I felt confident that I would get away with it, and I did.

They questioned me, but I answered with lies. Eventually, they didn't suspect me anymore and let me go. I was just seen as another innocent student like everyone else.

When I was free to go home, I headed home and got ready to relax. I turned on the television and saw news about what happened at the school.

I listened to the television but it was the same information I had already heard, so I switched off the TV.

I started to get ready for bed, and before I laid down, I noticed a notification. It was a text message from (Y/N). The message was sent over an hour ago. I decided I would respond.

Did you hear that they're closing the school for a few months?

Is it because of the killing?

Yes, the police want to do a bigger investigation, so they don't want students to be walking around

I smirked at the message. Knowing that the police wouldn't find anything besides the body.

That's understansable.

It kind of sucks but it's an understandable decision

Thanks for letting me know.

I cut the conversation off early and went to bed.

Now, all of that is in the past, and the first day back is today. I got ready and left my house. I went to Taro's house and I saw him waiting outside for me. I hoped to see Teako, and maybe she would even join us on our walk to school, but she had already left.

As Taro joined me, he started up a conversation.

"Ayato, did you hear that there is going to be a small assembly to honor the victim," he told me.

"No."

"Oh, really? I thought you might have already known about it," he said to me,"Well, we should head straight to the gymnasium since I don't think we will have any time to spare today."

I nod at what Taro told me. I don't care about the assembly, but maybe I will be able to see Taeko there?

#yandere #yansim #fanfic #yandere simulator #male reader #character x reader #reader insert #x reader

[singbluesilverblog]

HOW WE MET (Abby's Version)

Hi friends! This is my first *official* blog post, and the two of us wanted to put together posts about our friendship & how we met / how we got into Duran Duran from each of our perspectives! :)

Kal and I have so many eerie coincidences in our friendship, it’s insane. Seeing the same angel numbers, texting each other the same exact things at the same time, verbally saying the same thing on FaceTime, finding out both of our first "crushes" as kids were Greg (me) and Murray (Kal) from the Wiggles (don't laugh.) You name it, it’s probably happened with us. We both have gone though eras with The Beatles, The Police and Queen (even both having fixations on Queen specifically during our sophomore years of high school). Even with getting into Duran Duran, she got into them July 9th, and I got into them July 11th, all because of the SAME John Taylor edit we both independently saw on TikTok that randomly came up on our FYP before we met, as well as seeing Duran Duran in concert exactly a week apart (stay tuned for posts about that!)

Now, to clarify, the two of us have always known about Duran and have listened to them very casually. The two of us have ALWAYS loved old music (I grew up listening to a lot of Elton John, Bon Jovi, Elvis, The Beach Boys, Metallica, Frank Sinatra, The Beatles, Mötley Crüe, and Sam Cooke thanks to a mix of my parents and my grandmother) When I started collecting records when I was 11 (I'll be 21 in May, for context) my Mom gave me her copy of DD's Arena she got in 1984 as one of the albums to “start out” with, along with a few others. (She was a Roger girlie, and her twin sister (my aunt lol) was a Nick girlie! They also had a mutual friend who was a John girlie) Like any girl at that age, I thought they were cute! I loved that it was a live album, which I thought was unique. And, of course, everyone knows Hungry Like The Wolf, come on.

2022 rolled around, along with Season 4 of Stranger Things. I remember scrolling through TikTok in August and stumbling across a Steve Harrington edit with Girls on Film as the audio. I IMMEDIATELY fell in love with the song, it became one of my most listened to tracks that year if I recall correctly. I later posted on my instagram story on November 11th 2022, a mirror selfie of me in my college bathroom with Rio as the music for it. Coincidentally, it was eight months to the day before my fixation started. Weird!

After I was sucked into the Duraniverse by that incredible JT TikTok edit, I made the best decision ever by making a Duran instagram account at the end of July 2023 called thegirlonfilm, after one of my favorite songs that really started it all for me. “I needed to talk to people about them,” I thought to myself, as none of my local friends really knew about them or liked them, and if they did, it wasn’t on the level that I was on. I started joining Facebook groups and started blacking out on eBay, buying posters, books, cds, magazines, vinyls, funko pops, tour brochures, cassettes, you name it. I wanted to do nothing but listen to them and gush about them, blowing up my Pinterest by saving thousands of pins of them. I then snagged tickets for my middle school best friend and I to see them together in Philadelphia not even two weeks later. My feelings for them were VERY similar to my extreme Beatles hyperfixation in early middle school to mid-high school.

Around early August, my account was slowly taking off, and I began following more and more accounts. I started following an account called 111ngel, which was recommended to me as I already had a few mutuals who were following them. We liked each other’s posts here and there, no big deal, occasionally commenting on each other's posts and edits. In early August they tagged me in an edit they made of Nick & John, dm’ing me saying that “they hoped it was okay that they tagged me because they didn’t have many Duran Duran mutuals.” Of course I was okay with it, I was excited that someone actually tagged me in something, and we eventually struck up a light conversation that turned into us talking to each other everyday for the next 6 months.

Flash forward to now, Kal is the bestest friend I could ever ask for, even though we’ve never met irl and she lives over 15 hours away in a different time zone than me. (I’m on the east coast, she’s in the midwest). She's one of the sweetest, kindest, funniest and most caring people I have ever met, and she never fails to make me laugh until I cry. We have a never-ending list of inside jokes and just stupid stuff that makes us giggle. She was there for me consistently through the worst heartbreak of my life, and has been there for me regardless ever since. We have our “Duran Nights” which consists of us staying up on FaceTime together until 4 AM watching interviews, documentaries and concerts, talking about things going on in the Duran community, going Brittany Broski-level feral over John and Simon, or giggling about crap we find on Pinterest (and me destroying her in word hunt on iMessage games hehe) She’s so comforting to be around, as if we knew each other in a past life. We both agree that we're 100% each other's platonic soulmates, as we clicked almost immediately and have such a deep friendship. I’ve never met someone that I could be so transparent with, and she’s really the only person I can TRULY be myself around without the fear of judgement. She's the Simon to my John, the Lennon to my McCartney, the Moon to my Sun. Very thankful for having her in my life. :) <3

#80s music #duran duran #music #vinyl records #john taylor #simon le bon #roger taylor #andy taylor #nick rhodes #warren cuccurullo #new wave #synth pop #friends #blog #music blog #80s aesthetic #80s movies #1980 #80s #80s nostalgia #eighties #friendship #england #united kingdom #1980s #mtv

[atsumuahh]

“ SECRET LOVER ” dreamwastaken

characters !

dreamwastaken, wilbur’s twin!reader, technoblade, philza, tommyinnit, wilbur soot, karl, sapnap, georgenotfound, drista, tubbo.

summary !

when reader chooses the dsmp high everything seems to be great, but things gets complicated when her brand new crush turns out to be her oldest brother’s rival. it gets even more complicated when he asks her out.

warnings !

swear words, usage of dream’s real name

notes !

dream as a football team captain rent free in my head... and i’m also sorry that it took me so long to write… its almost 3k words and not proofread!

taglist !

@wilczachannn

it was easy to assume that you had been in your brothers’ shadows. techno, wilbur and tommy were talented, football players with great, great achievements. the only thing you wanted was a big change in your life, so when you graduated from the middle school and it came up to making a big decision on choosing high school, you chose the dsmp high – school located an hour away from your house.

you remember your first day at school. the day started awfully. tommy woke you up with a loud yell at – as you rightly guessed – wilbur, who stole his phone and texted to his crush. it turned out that you had twenty minutes left to get ready and leave for bus and not be late. well... you were late on the bus, but thankfully your dad promised he’ll drop you off at school.

phil couldn’t be more proud of you. for real, he knew how hard it was for you to choose different school from techno, wilbur and tommy (everyone know he’ll go after his brothers). you were miserable through your whole middle school, because no one ever noticed you as your own person, only as wilbur’s twin sister, techno’s younger sibling or the only sister of tommy. it cause you to slowly losing yourself and becoming a female version of your brothers. so when you spoke to him about the idea of the dsmp high, he couldn’t get happier.

fortunately, dad dropped you off fifteen minutes before your first period started. wandering around the new school, looking for people you had classes with. you looked at your phone and accidentally bumped into a tall, dirty blonde guy with painted nails and purple sweater.

“oh no- i’m so sorry!” he spoke kind of afraid he might hurt you. “you alright?” a worried ask left his mouth as he put a hand on your shoulder.

it turned out that his name is karl and you took same classes as him. well in fact the boy seemed to be pretty nice, chill and funny. you two were on your way to the biology class and jokes were in the air. you felt so delightful that you messaged wilbur and techno a small text saying you just made your first friend. as no one responded you hid your phone.

“don’t worry, bestie.” he beamed at you. “i’ll meet you with my other friends, if that’s okay. they’ll love you and you won’t have to worry about making ones!” karl whispered into your ear and you couldn’t hide a soft smile that formed on your face.

as he said, he did. it was your lunch pause so he led you to the cafeteria. the idea of sitting at the table with people you didn’t know was.. terrifying but at the same time, so exiting. you felt like your heart skipped a beat when a guy called dream showed up with his best friends george and sapnp.

he was so handsome that you couldn’t take your eyes off him. looking at him was just so pleasing that you were kinda mad that he was karl’s friend so you couldn’t really sigh over him. surprisingly, he turned out to be a nice guy as well. you expected dream to be a completely jerk and an arsehole, but well you started to feel like you’d fall for him.

well… you were right. you fell for clay so deeply that just being around him was… stressing you out. he always cared about you, through your whole freshman year he was so cute and it was hard not to fall.

sophomore year started in a very… unexpected way. you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks, because you have lived so far away, but it didn’t make your brand new friends group to fall apart. you wouldn’t be so surprised if they organized a meet after classes but… well it was a meet, but only with clay. in a shortcut – he took you on a date.

“i missed you so much, y/n/n” he smiled as he shyly took your hand and intertwined your fingers with his. a small, timid smile formed on your blushed face. “fuck… i like you, i have a huge ass crush on you, okay? i-i just don’t wanna mess up our friendship… so please tell me if you don’t feel same” clay spoke with shaking voice, not giving you a sight.

maybe it was the adrenaline that boosted you up, or your inner self just wanted to do it, but as his confession ended, your lips gentlt pressed his. clay was… well shocked is a good word, clay was shocked, but he pulled you in even closer and that’s how you ended up making out in the park.

you were thrilled to the gills and you almost told your brothers about clay. almost, because you heard techno’s talking about a match against the dsmp high. well it wouldn’t be such a big thing if you hadn’t heard dream, and well oh well. words weren’t too nice.

“hi… are you free?” you said softly, sitting on your bed. you were frightened – what if they don’t like each other? what if… wilbur and tommy also don’t like him? “you know techno, right? technoblade minecraft?” a quiet ask left your mouth as you sat under the tree in your yard.

“yes, unfortunately.” his response made you thought that you had annoyed him. “wait, why you’re asking? did he hurt you or something?” dream didn’t let you answer as he added i’m gon’ kill him under his breathe.

“noo, don’t worry” you clutched your head and sighed. “he’s… my brother, older brother, actually”. silence between you two were clearly killing you, but you couldn’t be one to break it. he had to say something.

“oh my fuck” you heard his shocked voice and chuckled in response. “it doesn’t matter. you’re the one i fell in love with, not he. i know you’re worried, but everything will be alright.”.

“i hope so” his laughter calmed you. “i’ll call you later so we can fall asleep on call okay? dinner’s ready”.

”it’s kinda forbidden love, isn’t it?” george laughed as he wrapped his arm around you with a cute smile. brown haired boy was waiting along with you at your whole friends’ group. “y’know… techno is your brother and also a rival of your boyfriend… it’s exciting”.

you almost gasped at his words. it felt so silly and people would probably find it meaningless, but you couldn’t hide a smile that appeared on your face. he didn’t say techno’s sister like everyone from the middle school would say, george said that he’s your brother.

“as long as i love her, nothing else really matters to me” clay’s voice was so sweet that you almost melted under it. he was right, there’s no reason to overthink – you love him and it’s the only thing that matters.

“yeah, you should definitely tell him that at the match on saturday.” oh my fucking god, a match. the elimination match between the dsmp high and the lmanburg high. you were completely between a rock and a hard place.

“fuck, i forgot about it.” wrapping his arms around your body, dream felt how stressed you began to get. he also felt when your body unwittingly started to shake. “he’ll hate me, so will wilbur and tommy.”

“aren’t they already hating you? like- you barely talk to them at home, so… what’s the problem?” sapnap asked shrugging. well, he was right – techno lost his interest in talking to you and unfortunately wilbur and tommy took their cue from him, and the only person you had talked to was your dad.

“you’re coming to our match, right?” karl asked with a nervous smile forming on his face. it was his first match ever on the team – you couldn’t not be there. “it doesn’t who will you cheer for, just be there, okay?”

“karl, of course i will be there” you smiled at him, trying to hide your increasing stress that almost made you pass out. “please win this, okay? it’d be too hard to look at your miserable faces.”

tommy had always been your favorite of them all. as a child he wouldn’t let you go and sometimes it was obviously burdensome, but you loved it. you loved how he cared and now you missed it. he wanted, but he couldn’t talk to you, techno and wilbur would be pissed if he did.

he wondered about telling you how well he made friends in high school along with tubbo. about all of the funny jokes he made. he just wanted to be a teenager that shares cool memories with his older sister, but for now his brothers were too proud to apologize.

“wil, are you sure we should do that?” he asked, uneasiness appearing on his pale face. he genuinely missed his big sister that always helped him with his homework, with choosing cool outfits to impress girls, helped him, when he argued with tubbo. “she looks so miserable. even dad is worried!”

“we have nothing to do with her miserableness. she left us first. now, she can go and fuck herself” wilbur had never acted lke that before, so surprised tommy just frowned at him and shook his head in hopelessness. something was off and he would like to know what. to repair it.

his stomach rambled and it was time for a snack. tommy was about to came in, but he heard a bit of a conversation between philza and his only daughter.

“yeah, they do kinda hate me” she shrugged, not letting her tears fall. “uhm… clay proposed that i could stay at his. you know, dad. until… they start talking to me again.” long sigh left her mouth as she clutched her head in hands, right before he noticed tears. tommy couldn’t do more, so he got back to his room not letting anyone in later that evening.

it’d be a lie if someone said that tommy wasn’t stressed out. his first game was in a few minutes and his sister was nowhere to be found. “she has better things to do, i disappointed her - i shouldn’t be so shocked.”

when he saw her, he felt relieved. she was there to support him in his first game in high school ever, but as he watched her, slowly drifting away, looking for someone different in the crowd of people, he was hurt.

“i can’t believe you really choose to avoid the affection from dream for today, because your brothers are here. you should fuck them three” sapnap laughed, looking over your shoulder at tommy. “two. he looks hurt as well as you.” you know he was, but he didn’t do anything because the pressure techno and wilbur put on him, was killing him inside.

“y/n you came!” karl cried out, running towards you and sapnap. he hugged you tight and smiled softly, giggling noiselessly. “did y/n’s brothers saw it? i was literally her ride.”

“excuse me, you did that on purpose?” george laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. you joined him, but you stopped when you saw tommy’s upset, frightened face. it wasn’t only karl’s first game – it was tommy’s as well.

“i gotta talk to him” you sighed exhausted of the whole drama around you and your brothers. or just around you, wilbur and techno. your little brother had nothing to do with it. “tommy, hi” you started a bit nervous, feeling the tension betweet you two. and firstly, you thought he will just go away, but you gasped as he hugged you tight.

“i missed you so much” he whispered so anyone could hear but you. soft smile showed up on his face, making it way more brighter. “thanks for coming here, i know it’s rought between you and wil. he’s kinda mad but everything will be fine, i know that.” you wrapped arms around his torso and smiled widely.

“you’ve got this, okay tommy?” you brushed his hair. in response you got a growl and loud laugh after. “if you win or if you lose, it doesn’t matter, because i will still love you, but i’ve gotta go back to my friends.” you beamed and left tommy as soon as you saw wilbur storming towards you.

me: can’t wait to see you on the field :)

you felt like melting, when dream looked at you with his happy, excited face. you were so proud of him – he was the captain of the school football team and it was known that he has a sport scholarship. despite your brothers’ presence, you planned to show clay some support and you painted a medium #21 on your black, denim jacket.

clay: can’t wait to see you on my bed, right next to the trophy i’ll get as a captain.

he hadn’t lie. you sat on his messy bed, in his messy bedroom, talking to his younger sister drista. she was adorably bewitching. she was a bit younger than tommy, but thankfully she wasn’t as loud as him. you laughed after hearing her awful joke.

“so… you’re living here by now?” she asked curiously, frowning. her eyes scanning your, now, blushed face, waiting on the answer. “please, i cannot stand his my-girlfriend-lives-so-far-and-i-can’t-sneak-into-her-room-and-kiss.” she rolled her eyes, but smile widely.

“oh, yeah.” you blushed even harder as she laughed at your already blushed face. “i’m just worried if he’s okay with us hiding, you know? i mean– he could be with someone else, someone… someone better.”

drista didn’t know what to say and you knew she didn’t have to. you were scared – because of your situation that had place in middle school – he will just leave your for someone better, someone prettier, smarter, cuter.

unfortunately for you, clay had heard your every single word. he coughed, letting drista know that she should go. girl smiled at you before leaving you two alone. him, standing in front of you with only his sweatpants on. “y/n” he started as he got closer.

“i- i- can not tell i know how you feel or how you should feel. and-and i genuinely do not care about anyone else but you. i love you, okay dumbass?” he sat as close as possible and beamed softly.

“you won’t replace me?” the whole thing between you and clay was terrifying you so much. is he lying about his feelings? is he really in love with you? or maybe you’re just a bet? you almost shook your head as the thoughts began to overwhelm you.

he wouldn’t do that. and if he would, some of his friends (yours as well) would kill him. you couldn’t be more happier at the moment. your boyfriend had just told you that he loves you for the very first time, you made amazing friends that would kill for you and vice versa, but there was one thing you had to fix. the relationship with techno and wilbur.

“i could never replace you, love”.

“you sure you wanna do it?” clay asked, gently rubbing your thigh with his thumb, sitting in the front seat of his car. you were about to tell your whole family that clay dream is your boyfriend. the guy your older brother claimed to hate. lots of fun, right?

you nodded unsure, getting out of the car. it was your first time seeing your brothers in over a month and – boy, oh boy – you were terrified. did they miss you? did they even notice you were gone? you wished they did. you weren’t even able to ring the doorbell, because tommy opened the door with a huge grin.

“i’ve been waiting for you.” he confessed, closing you in a tight hug. he let you off as soon as he noticed smiled dream standing right behind you. “and who are you, mister?” suspicious question left tommy’s mouth.

“i’m y/n’s boyfriend, clay” dream beamed at tommy as he let you in. shock finding their way onto his face was… quite hilarious. he mumbled something under his breathe, but you couldn’t catch it.

as soon as you got onto the dining room, you saw wilbur, techno and dad setting the table. tommy coughed, couldn’t hide his happiness. his sister is back and he can’t let her go ever again.

“hi…” you started, your voice getting shaky. “i wanted to explain some things and it’d be a pleasure if you would accept my new boyfriend, especially technoblade.” dream took your sweaty with nervousness hand to calm you. he knew it was tough for you, knowing that him and techno are rivals. “this is clay and i know you know him, and you’re not on the good terms, but please just… finally talk to me, because i miss both of you and i’d love to have either my brothers and boyfriend close as possible.” you finished glancing at techno and wilbur.

“y/n, i’m just sad you didn’t want to go to same school with me. you had never told me why, we were inseparable and everything changed within days.” wilbur was first to answer you. his dejected voice made you crying. you missed him, his voice, his advices, his presence around you. “everytime i woke up, you were already running on the bus and we didn’t have a chance to talk.”

“i- you- you’re right. i should’ve told you why did i choose the dsmp high. i did, because i began to lose myself, everyone saw me only as your sister and i started to think that i do not matter anymore. i had to change it and i had to show everyone that i’m not just yours and techno’s sister, but i’m my own persona.” wil stood up and got closer to you. your tears convinced him that you weren’t lying and he felt bad that he didn’t realize it sooner. “i’m so sorry”.

“no- no, i’m also sorry. i’m the one that should apologizing. you were just choosing your own path and i was mad at you, because of that. ‘m sorry y/n/n.” you smiled through tears and hugged him as tight as you only could.

“there’s no much drama between us” techno chuckled quietly, watching you and wilbur cuddling. “i already knew what’s going on between you two at the match. i just took wil’s side.” he shrugged and you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief. “well, it doesn’t mean i like you” he claimed glaring at your boyfriend. “i can tolerate you as long as you’ll treat y/n the best you can, otherwise i’ll kill you”.

“i agree and so does tommy” your twin added, looking dream dead in the eyes.

“maybe we’ll stop the death threats here and start eating?” your dad proposed with a cheerful smile. his kids were finally getting along again, he couldn’t be more proud or happier than at the moment.

“it went so well” you whispered delighted. you were snuggling with dream on your bed, some time after the dinner ended. phil suggested that he could stay for the night, so they can get to know him better.

tommy was thrilled to the bones about the fact that now, he has a new friend, older than him, and also a captain of the football team, so he could teach him how to play better. wil was… well wil. he made sure that dream didn’t have any wrong intentions and techno just couldn’t care less if you were happy with him. he even suggested that they should bury the hatchet and move on.

“i haven’t said that to anyone yet, but i love you” you said, almost skipping a bit when he held your head and gently kissed you.

“well, you already know that i’m head over heels in love with you. and it won’t ever change” he said and kissed you one more time.

#maks’ collection #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #dream smp x reader #mcyt fluff #romantic mcyt #dream x reader #dreamwastaken #dreamwastaken x reader #dsmp #dsmp x reader #georgenotfound #dnf #dream #dteam fanfic #dream x fem!reader #fem!reader #dream smp #dream mcyt #mcyt x fem!reader #sapnap #karl jacobs #karl jacobs x platonic reader #tommyinnit #sleepy bois family #sleepy bois inc #crimeboys duo #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x platonic reader

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Sparks - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After being best friends with Bucky for years. Something unexpectedly happens where is finally realizes he has feelings for you.

Word Count: 4140

18+

Warnings: A hint of jealousy (if you read in between the lines), a bit of praising, oral (female receiving), cockwarming, Smut (If I'm forgetting to mention anything let me know) Aftercare, fluff(surprise)

Authors Note: This took a turn that I least expected, but hey I'm glad it did. Title inspired by my wife @saynotoshityouhate 💛

"I swear, James Bucky Barnes, if you took a bite from my ice cream. It's over for you," you yelled across your apartment.

Walking to your bedroom, Bucky had a bowl of the ice cream you were saving for later. He has a lopsided grin as he scoops a small piece of ice cream. "this is pretty good. I might go and get some more once I'm done," he winks.

You rapidly got up and ran towards Bucky, removing the bowl of ice cream he had on his hands. "Thank you very much for bringing this for me," you chuckled.

Without hesitation, Bucky's left arm wraps around your torso. With his other hand, he grabs the bowl and places it on the ground. He picks you up and starts walking towards the bed, throwing you onto it. You laughed. "Is that all you can do, big guy?" you got up, trying to catch your breath.

He stops walking towards the bowl and turns around to face you "oh," a smirk formed on his face, "you want to play" he walks towards you, he leans in towards you, "you know I'll win, doll," grabbing your hair and placing it all in one side "don't start something that you can't handle" he whispers into your ear. Feeling the breeze of his breath against your neck made you feel things.

Rising your left eyebrow and tilting your head, "try me, James. You'll be the one losing instead of me."

Bucky's hands go straight to your torso once again. Tickling you on the spots that you were the most ticklish at. You fell backward onto the bed. He stopped for a brief second making sure you were okay and you didn't hurt yourself. After he made sure you were okay, he continued to tickle you. You were laughing uncontrollably. You gently started to kick him. "Bucky, stop." You grab a piece of fabric that was on your bed and start waving it. "I surrender. You win"

"See, I told you, don't start something you can't handle," he chuckled as he was getting up from your bed.

Bucky has been your best friend for almost two years. The moment you both met, it was an instant click. You two were inseparable. You had a key to his place, so at three in the morning, you would break into his house. He also had the key to your apartment. Whenever he wanted to go on an adventure with you. He'll just go to your home.

There would be instants where you wondered if you had feelings towards him. But those feelings were buried deep down. You couldn't imagine ruining your friendship with Bucky, or worse, what if he didn't feel the same towards you. The only person that knew about these feeling was Wanda.

Each time you watch movies with Bucky, you would always wrap your arms around his bicep and place your head on his shoulder. When you went to his apartment, he had a drawer dedicated to your stuff. Such as clothes, feminine products, underwear, your painting items, anything that involved you. Since you mainly spent your time at Bucky's place if you weren't on a mission.

There would be occasions where he would flirt with you, but you didn't think much of it. You thought he was just friendly with you. Either way, he would occasionally go on dates with girls.

-----------------

For the first time in a very long time, you finally decided on a date with a guy. You were nervous about it. You had been talking to this guy for two weeks before he decided to ask you out on a date. You went to Wanda's place to get ready.

You went through her closet to see what dress you wanted to wear. You rarely owned any dresses. Your closet was mainly shirts and pants. Besides that, Wanda insisted that you borrowed one of her dresses.

"Are you excited about this date?" she looked at you with a smile on her face. She sounded excited for you. Finally, after years, you are going on a date. Wanda's face lit up as she started to walk towards you. "I have the perfect dress for you." She goes next to you and starts looking through her red dress section. She pulls out a short, small dress. It had thin straps that crossed on the back, forming a thin bow on the bottom. The front of the dress was straight. The material was silky satin. It was such a beautiful dress.

You look at Wanda with a confused look. "I don't think that is going to look good on me," you shook your head.

Placing the dress on your arms and gently pushing you to the bathroom, "you will look hot in this, now go try it on" Before shutting the door, she throws a pair of nude heels.

You take a big breath as you look at yourself in the mirror staring in the mirror. You didn't think the dress would look amazing on you, but it did. Your curves were hugged perfectly and with nude heels. You could stay home and walk around the house wearing this dress, you would.

Walking out of the bathroom, Wanda's eyes widen, and she slightly opens her mouth "wow, if I was a guy, right now, I would totally fuck you" She grabs your hand and pulls you back to the bathroom "let's finish getting you ready."

Vision appears from thin air "ladies, I just wanted to let you know that the rest of the gentlemen are here" You startled yourself when you saw a Vision. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he points to the door. "I'll leave using the door instead."

"Sorry about him. He does it all the time. I get scared as well." She chuckled.

She finished curling your hair and your makeup. "You look absolutely stunning. Whoever is having a date with you is lucky."

Turning around to face the mirror, you look at yourself. You looked beautiful, the way that Wanda did your makeup and your hair. Everything fell into perfect pieces.

Walking outside of Wanda's bedroom, you could hear Bucky's laugh 'fuck, fuck, why is he here' you thought to yourself.

Wanda takes your hand and stops halfway through. "Don't focus on him. If he liked you, he would tell you by now" she turns around and hugs you. "Now let's go, you have a date to go to" She holds your hand as you both continued to walk to the living room.

The second you entered the living room, you felt all eyes on you. But the ones that caught you the most were Buckys. His eyes were widened, and lips parted. "fuck” he whispered to himself. At this exact moment, he realized he had feelings for you. He always knew but never acknowledged them. All the memories that he had flashed over him. All the laughs you both shared, all the times you were there for him. Every little memory he shared with you.

Steve looks at Bucky and notices that he was drooling. Snapping his fingers in front of his face, "stop drooling over her. She is right there staring at you."

Bucky snapped out of the state he was in and places his hand over his mouth. Looking away from you, he tries to focus on the tv.

Wanda looks directly at Bucky with a confused look. She knew that Bucky had feelings for you deep down, but this was the first time he openly thought about you.

You held your hands together as you were slowly swaying. You were nervous, you wanted to know what Bucky was thinking, you wanted to forget about the date and go home instead.

Wanda goes to grab your purse and keys, placing both in your hands. "we have to go before you are late to your date," she starts pushing you towards the entrance of her home. Opening the door, she gently pushes you out. "Have fun. Text me if anything happens" She slams the door and leans onto it.

Bucky places both of his elbows on his thighs, placing his hands onto his face. He sighs in frustration.

"you have feelings for her, Bucky. Why haven't you told her yet" Wanda sits next to Bucky placing her hand on his back, trying to comfort him.

Sam and Steve raise their eyebrows as they look in Bucky's direction. "Hold up, Cyborg, you caught feelings for her" Sam turns to Steve. "I told you, Steve, that he did," he said in an excited voice. Steve rolled his eyes and gently pushes Sam.

Lopsided grin forms on Steve's face, "Am I really surprised, though?" he shrugs his shoulders. "Not really. Have you seen the way that Bucky looks at her and the way they act around each other?"

"can you both shut up? I'm trying to think," he mumbles as he removes his hands from his face.

"oh shit, Steve, he is short-circuiting. Someone bring the charger," Sam says in a teasing way as he gets up "never mind, Captain, let's head out before he ends up chasing the both of us."

Steve covers his mouth as he is trying to laugh. He goes up to Bucky placing his hand on his shoulder "go on and chase her." He walks away chasing after Sam.

There is quiet between him and Wanda as he continues to try to comfort him. "If I go after her and I tell her how I feel towards her." He pauses as he takes a drink of his glass of whiskey "what if she doesn't feel the same towards me" he shakes his head.

Wanda chuckles a little "oh, Buck. If you only knew," a smile forms on her face. "Why don't you go and find out for yourself" she continues rubbing his back in circular motions.

Bucky looks up at Wanda with a relief look in his eyes. She didn't need to say anything else. With only that, he knew that you had feelings for him as well.

Bucky rapidly gets up and runs towards the door. Ignoring what Wanda or anyone else was trying to tell him.

Running outside of Wanda's house. Turning his head left and right, looking for your car. The minute that he found your car, he ran towards it.

You take a deep breath. The nerves you had from earlier went away. 'just go on this date. You'll probably like him. He seems like a nice guy,' you thought to yourself. You hear the passenger's door be aggressively opened. You grab the first thing on your right. Throwing it in that direction, "ahhh," you screamed, "fuck, James!" You could feel your heartbeat a hundred beats a minute.

Bucky gets in your car and closes the door. He reaches towards you and wraps his arms around you "sorry, Doll. I didn't mean to scare you" he lets go of you and sits back onto the seat. "you look beautiful, by the way" he looks forward. He didn't want to know what reaction you had when he said that. "we need to talk." He said in a small voice as he licks his lips.

"What is it, Buck?" you knit your eyebrows together and form a frown on your face. You were concerned, especially because of how rapidly he opened the door and got inside your car.

He turns his head, facing your direction. Bucky grabs both of your hands and holds them for a couple of minutes. "This is something that I've been holding in for a while now" he knits his eyebrows together, and slight smile forms on his face. "I feel like I'm selfishly telling you this now, especially since you have a date-"

"Bucky, just get to it," you interrupted him. "he ended up canceling so, please take your time. I totally want my anxiety to be risen up to the roof," you said sarcastically.

Bucky takes a big breath and takes a big gulp. "This might sound stupid, but I don't want to see you with anyone else."

You looked at him with a confused look. "what do you mean?" you had no clue what he was saying or what he was trying to mean.

"I have feelings for you," he pauses "fuck, that felt nice to finally say it" he sighs in relief.

You froze. You were unsure if you were having a daydream or if this was real life. You stared at Bucky with widening eyes and a smile across your face.

Bucky didn't like that you were quiet. He wanted to know what you were thinking about, what was running through your mind. "In better words, I'm in love with you. I know that love is just a shout into the void, that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed. I'm tired of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I look at you, and I feel like I'm at home. You are my other half. I'm in love with you, sorry."

Looking at Bucky, that smile never turned into a frown. The instant you found out that you caught feelings for him, it was the moment that you wondered if he felt the same towards you. Late at night, when he held you in his arms, your thoughts would always go to that place. 'what if he liked me?' 'no, he couldn't.' But now that you have confirmation that he had liked you, not only like you but love you. Your heart fluttered. You loved this strange boy as well.

"I love you as well, Bucky" you placed your hand on his cheek, moving your thumb against his soft skin.

Bucky sigh in relief. He was scared from the start to tell you how he truly felt but not that he knows that you felt the same. He felt like a weight was lifted from his chest. "If you do decide to be with me. You know that there is no turning back, right?" he shrugs his shoulders. "You are kind of stuck with me now."

You snap your fingers "gosh, darn it. It looks like I am stuck with you." you had a big smile on your face. "I can't wait for what the future brings us. No matter what it is. I'm sticking with you." You wink at him. "It won't be easy getting rid of me, Bucky" you scrunched your nose.

"I don't plan on ever getting rid of you, Angel" that same smile you had was reflect on him. Reaching his phone, he checks the Time. "I'm aware that it's 7 pm. But, let's go camping" there was a bit of excitement in his voice. "first, let's get you comfortable clothes." He gets out of the car and walks around towards your side. Opening the door for you to get out since he wanted to drive. He grabs your hands and walks you to the other side, opening that door as well. You rolled your eyes as you had a small smile on your face.

------------------

"Bucky, do you need help setting up the tent?" you chuckled. Bucky was struggling and refused to let you help him.

"Stupid fucking tent," he whispers to himself. He grunts as he gets frustrated.

You go near him and start helping him build the tent. He hated that you were helping him, but it was getting dark and cold.

When the tent was ready, he places the 15 blankets he decided to buy instead of buying an inflatable bed. Bucky hands you a small bag that contained makeup wipes. You had completely forgotten that you still had makeup on your face and the dress you were wearing. Lucky enough, you had spare shoes in your car. If not, you would have been doomed walking in the forest with heels on.

You grabbed the pillows from your car and placed them at the edge of the tent. You laid down, covering yourself with one of the blankets so you can change into the clothes that Bucky got you.

He lays right next to you, removing his pants just leaving him in his boxers and his t-shirt. He lifts up his arm as he wants you to lay next to him. Without a second thought, you place your head on his chest letting him wrap his arm around you.

"Doll… "he whispered, taking your chin between his thumb, tilting your face up towards him.

You were trembling as if in frost, as if in a fever, unable to control your own racing blood. "Bucky," you said huskily.

He reached out and lifted the heavy fall of hair, letting his hand stroke your neck and round to your throat, caressing the delicate line of your jaw with his thumb, making you shudder as your legs almost curled under you.

Bucky bent his head towards you, touching your lips with his in a kiss as light as a drifting feather, and you learned that the lips you had thought sensuous were everything that you had never allowed yourself to imagine.

Bucky's hand moved again under your hair, clasping the nape of your neck, pulling you towards him as his kiss deepened, lengthened, and possessed. Letting his hands slide the length of your body, he molded you against him in a slow sweet fusion that made you thrillingly aware of his desire.

"See the effect you have on me," he whispered as he pulled apart from you, his eyes glittering with almost stunning surprise as though searching yours for an answer.

Ignoring what he just said, you grabbed his shirt, pulling him in. Pressing your lips against his once again, parting your mouth just slightly, biting his lower lip. Wrapping your arms around him, slowly moving your hands upward, running your fingers through his hair.

He slides his hands underneath the shirt material, feeling your soft skin. He shifts his body on top of yours. "Are you sure about this?" he breaks the kiss. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable before anything else was going to happen.

You nodded your head. You knew what was going to happen next, and how for the longest time, you had been craving this. Your hands slide underneath his shirt, helping him remove it. With both hands, he slides the joggers that you were wearing. Meanwhile, he was doing that. You were removing your shirt.

Bucky goes back to kissing you. Both of your tongues were dancing together. His lips kissed you from your cheek towards your neck and moved downwards until he was in between your legs. With his left arm, he pulls the material of your panties to the side, exposing you to him. A small grunt a bit, feeling the coldness of his hand against your inner thigh. Kissing your inner thigh, leaving a few marks on there and moving upwards with his tongue against your clit, moving it in circles, then pressed down, teasing you. Bucky's fingers rub against your entrance. His tongue and fingers going at the same rhythm. You moaned out loud. Even if it was the first time, he knew how to take care of you.

Without losing his rhythm, he moved his way up, kissing you from your lower stomach up to your lips. He pauses and stares at you. You were breathing heavily, and your heart was pounding. Wanting to gain dominance, you slid under him, moving on top of him. You began kissing his neck the same way that he was doing to you. You cood against his skin, rocking your hips against his friction.

As much as he wanted you to take care of him, he wanted to take care of you first and your needs. He grabbed you by your hips and turned you. Before you could move, he pins you down onto your stomach, moving behind you. He grabbed you by your waist again and pulled you up so that your ass was sticking up in the air. Removing your panties, he spat on his fingers and rubbed them against your entrance. Without warning, he thrusted inside of you.

You both froze and gasped out loud at the feeling. Bucky started to rock his hips, just wanting to feel the way you felt around him. When you moaned out, "oh my god-" he couldn't hold himself back. He gripped your waist tighter and started slamming in and out of you.

Your hands clutched on the sheets underneath you while one of Bucky wrapped your hair around his hand. Grabbing your hair and his other hand stayed on your hips, holding you steady. "You feel so good, Bunny." He was staring down at you. The image of your bent over on your knees, your ass up in the air, and his hand tangled into your hair made him groan. He watched the way that his cock looked moving in and out of you.

"Come here," he mumbled as he pulls on your hair. He assisted you in positioning your back and shoulders against his chest, with the both of you on your knees. He had kept thrusting the entire while you were moving. He surrounded you with his arms, not wanting you to fall due to the lack of barriers.

You rolled your head back onto his shoulder, kissing his neck while he pounded you from behind. One of his hands reached up to your breast, running his fingers along with your nipple. And the other stayed around your torso. You tilted your head back enough for him to attach his lips to yours.

The two of you moved in perfect harmony. You'd never done this before, never had sex with someone so passionately. Neither had Bucky. It felt like you both were made for each other.

"Are you ready?" He referred to you by your name. "I'm gonna cum. Can you cum with me?" He asked you, pleading.

Then, as if you'd planned it exactly, you both hit your stride at the same Time—shockwaves coursing through both of your bodies as you moaned each other's names again and over.

It took you two a minute to regain your composure. He hadn't yet pulled away from you; instead, he remained inside of you as you collected your breath and regained your balance.

Placing your head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat miles a minute. You finally felt like you were at home. Bucky gets up and grabs the bag that he had prepared for you. Looking into the bag, he grabs a lotion bottle. He grabs your hand and pulls you forward, making sure that you were sitting on the edge of the duvet.

Not a word was spoken. It was peaceful and quiet hearing the sounds of the waterfall in the background. Bucky opened the bottle and squirted some into his palm before kneeling down. You flinched a little when the cold lotion hit your skin. But the moment that Bucky started to rub against your back, you softly moaned.

Bucky worked his way down your back, pressing and rubbing his fingertips against your skin. When he reached your lower back, he leaned on your shoulder and smiled when he noticed that you had a smile on your face and your eyes were closed.

'Is this what cloud nine feels like?' you thought to yourself. You were unsure if Bucky had said anything, but you just nodded in agreement. He was nothing but gentle to you, making sure that you felt pleasure and not pain. He got up and faced you now. He squirted more lotion on his hands and gently massage your feet. He knew you were ticklish there, so he tried his best not to make any sudden moves that might trigger you.

By the time he was finished, you felt so relaxed. He grabbed your panties and his shirt. You sat up, raising your arms up with your eyes partly opened as he pulled his shirt over you.

"you do realize that I'm never giving you back this shirt, right?" you chuckled as you laid down, placing your head onto the pillow.

Bucky nodded his head. "I know, Doll. That's why I'm giving it to you."

You fully opened your eyes and smiled at him. He leans in forward and kisses you. He lays down on the other side. Slipping under the covers and pulling them up over your bodies. You turned on your side and wiggled back, so you were pressed against his chest. If you could turn yourself into a puddle, this would be the exact moment you would. You melted into his embrace and smiled when you felt his face rub against your shoulder right before he wrapped his arms around you.

"I love you," he murmured softly against your skin.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #tfatws #the winter soldier x reader #james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky barnes one shot #marvel x reader #avengers #marvel smut #bucky barnes smut #fluff

[lilysdaydreams]

Praise Bingus (No fucking way)

→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don't think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.

→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader

→ Genre: Angst and fluff. (FLUFF IS COMING I SWEAR)

→ Words: 3.9k

→ In a world where everyone is born with a mark on their wrist, two souls come together over the power of bingus.

→ (this isnt crack lol)

→ Warnings: Lots of swearing, um self-depreciation? rejection (kinda) and negative thoughts overall. Sorry im new to warnings.

→ Authors Note: this is the first time im doing like angst so please tell me if I did well? Um also, I’ve already started on the part 2 so keep your eyes out for that. If you wanna be tagged for part two please comment and lemme know. Also check out my other fics if you want!

→ Buy me a coffee

Part two  →    

~~~

Soulmates were a phenomenon. They'd been there for ages, drawn into the Egyptian tomb paintings, seen in the cave paintings from millions of years ago, talked about in stories passed down from generation to generation. They could be matching drawings, first words, names; all black before the soulmates met and turning gold the moment they talked to each other. There wasn't a scientist in the world who could explain the phenomenon.

You'd received your mark at birth just like everyone else, a sentence running around your wrist,

"No fucking way."

Your parents weren't that happy when you asked at the age of 4 what "fucking" meant but it wasn't that bad. You were happy that you had something unique, something other than the "Hi," or "Excuse me," that was on every other arm.

When you were 13, a little girl on the train pointed to your wrist and asked her mom what it meant. Ever since then, you'd taken to wearing bracelets over it. This had turned out to be a good idea because a few years later you started making Youtube videos. At the age of 16, you started a Youtube channel where you focused on a variety of things; makeup, fashion, games, art, skits and a whole lot more.

At the age of 20, you had a steady following of a little more than a million subscribers, and you had moved to LA to be closer to all your Youtube friends. You hadn't just grown on Youtube, you'd also started a lot of side projects. You were known for the art that you did on the side, along with the makeup palette you'd come out with a year ago. Soon you were planning to release a merch collection, one that you had been working on for a whole year now.

You hadn't met your soulmate at this point but honestly, you didn't really mind. Balancing Youtube and study (along with all your other side projects) was hard. There was no need to add the struggle of love into it... Or that's what you told yourself anyways.

There were days though, days where you wished you had someone to hug, someone to cuddle in bed with, someone to go on long walks with. You didn't let yourself wallow on it that long though. Crying about it was gonna do absolutely nothing.

It started on a rainy day. The story of you and him. You were editing your soon to be uploaded video, an e-girl outfits lookbook, which had been requested by your followers. Your personal style was all over the place and your previous soft girl and cottage care look books had done well, so you decided to continue the series.

You eyes blurred as you looked at the same point of the video, and you sighed, removing your glasses and rubbing your eyes. Your editor was sick and had let you know that they wouldn't be able to edit it by the deadline so here you were, editing it yourself. You stretched in your chair letting out a yawn. You were contemplating on whether to make coffee or not when your phone pinged.

"Nooooo" you whined when you noticed it was on the coffee table that was just a little out of your reach. Stretching your foot out, you tried to grab it between your toes and then sighed when the phone fell.

"I have zero luck, I swear" you muttered to yourself, bending to pick up the phone.

The text was from Rae, asking you to join a game of Among Us. You and Rae had been friends for a bit now, which all started when she came across your art and decided to order something from you. You had chatted and clicked immediately, immediately becoming fast friends. Ever since the lockdown started, she often asked you to join in on Among us games and your friendship had really grown over these past few months.

You sent a quick "sure!" and then went to your table, waiting for the PC to turn on. Quickly tweeting out that you were streaming, you opened up Youtube and turned on the stream, saying a quick hello and letting them know what you'd be doing.

"Rae just invited me guys, I don't really know who's there," you mumbled, replying to a comment asking you who you were playing with.

You squinted your eyes, joining the voice chat and then opening your phone camera to quickly check that you didn't look horrible. Sure you didn't really care about how you looked but it was always good to check that you didn't have anything stuck between your teeth before you turned on the camera.

There was already a conversation going on, between who you thought was Corpse and Sykkuno, judging by their voices.

"Yeah I could totally do that. Get a cat and name it Bingus. I wonder if th-"

You gasped when you heard what they were talking about and unmuted yourself immediately yelling "PRAISE LORD BINGUS" and effectively shocking everyone in the chat.

A moment of silence and then Rae yelled: "OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."

You giggled as everyone groaned and whined, saying hi as they realised who it was. You had played with Sykkuno and the others a few times before but you'd never met Corpse before. You'd heard his voice though, as he was trending on twitter constantly over the past few weeks. Once they all quietened down, you realised Corpse hadn't said anything. Since you knew everyone else in the lobby, you introduced yourself, wondering if you'd scared him a bit too hard.

"Hey Corpse, I'm Y/N from Y/C/N, its so nice to finally meet you," you said gritting your teeth at you awkward introduction. For a second there was no response and then three words were said that made your jaw drop to the floor.

"No fucking way"

He had whispered it, obviously still in shock, and your eyes widened in surprise as a tingle spread all over your body. So this was what everyone meant by "you'll just know," when you asked them about how you would recognize your soulmate.

"Holy shit" you thought frozen in your seat.

Never had you been more glad that you hadn't turned the camera on yet.

"Uhhhh-" you started, but stopped now knowing what to say.

What the fuck were you supposed to do now.

"Wha- Whats wrong?" Rae asked after a moment passed.

Corpse cleared his throat and started "Its um, shes my -" and you cut him off, heart beating in your chest.

"Nothing. Its nothing." you said talking over him. "Who else are we waiting for Rae?" you asked joining the lobby quickly and choosing red as your colour.

"Uh one more person," she said slowly, still a bit confused.

"Oh awesome!" you said fake enthusiasm prevalent in your voice. "So Sykkuno," you started, wanting to keep the conversation going. "How's Bimbus doing?"

Sykkuno launched into a story of Bimbus and you blew out a sigh of relief, mind still numb over the revelation.

Corpse was your soulmate.

The guy who had literally went viral the past few weeks was your soulmate.

You'd finally found him.

You heard Rae cut Sykkuno off, telling everyone she was starting the game and muttered a "Thank god" when the words "CREWMATE" appeared on your screen. You would not have been able to play imposter at the moment, your mind pretty much stuck on the fact that Corpse was your fucking soulmate.

Heading down to admin, you realised you hadn't said anything yet to the stream so you quickly turned on your cam, saying a quick sorry to the viewers.

"Sorry guys, I forgot to put the camera on," you smiled focusing on card swipe.

"I hope everyone's been okay, I know this was quite sudden, but Rae invited me and I was like why not you know," you said rambling as you moved to comms and did the task there.

Lights were called and you moved to electrical, arriving there just as Leslie fixed them. You moved into the back of electrical doing the three tasks you had there when Sykkuno suddenly came in and went straight to standing on top of the vent.

You giggled already knowing his trick.

"Okay guys," you mumbled watching Sykkuno wiggle on the vent. "do we trust Sykkuno or not?"

"You know what," you said making a split second decision. "Its the first game, we might as well."

Joining him on the vent, you stilled for a second and then breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't automatically kill you.

"See, what did I tell you guys huh?" you question smiling straight at the camera. "I knew Sykkuno could be trusted."

You decided to follow Sykkuno going into reactor with him and starting 'Simon says' and just as you were on the last part, a body was found making you let a whine out.

"Guysss," you whined to the camera as Rae started talking about how she had found Daves body in admin.

"Um, I havent been in admin since the start of the game," you said, "also I can clear Sykkuno, for the last part of the round, he's been with me since lights went out."

Sykkuno confirmed it, "Yup that's right, also I can hard clear Y/N cuz guess what? She stood on the vent with me and none of us died."

Everyone chuckled as he said "Thats good enough for me."

"Uh, I was in navigation mostly." said Lily.

"Poki, can I just ask what you were doing?" said Sean, an undercurrent of mirth present.

"Me?" asked Poki speaking for the first time. "What was I doing?"

"You weren't doing any tasks, you were literally just walking from one side of medbay to the other when I peeked in."

Poki started laughing, trying to get her words out at the same time.

"Okay so-" a giggle. "okay okay- I was just, I was trying to um do the beep test," she said finally breaking down and making everyone else laugh as well.

"What the fuck?" you said, laughing at the image in your mind.

"My chat told me to do it last game so I decided to do it now, I was literally just playing around," she said finally, adding "I swear I'm not imposter" at the end.

"Hmmm," you hummed, bringing a hand up to stroke your chin. "Are you sure it was last game Poki... hm...."

Giggling at Poki indignant "YES it was last game", you quickly skipped voting like everyone else as the timer went into the last ten seconds.

Humming a tune under your breath, you went back to reactor, taking a minute to carefully do Simon says and then moved to the other task counting out one two three as you pressed on the numbers. Humming, you moved out of reactor, only to come face to face with Corpse. You paused for a second, and then moved ahead, refusing to show anything on camera. For some reason he followed you as you went to storage, looking at you while you did the trash.

"Why is he just staring?" you mumbled, biting your lip. God, you really didn't wanna think of him right now. You started walking to shields, him still walking with you when lights were called and not a second later a body was reported.

Suddenly there was screaming your ears as Toast and Rae both started accusing each other.

"Wait- Wait WAIT" yelled Poki trying to get them to stop. "What happened?"

"I'll explain" declared Rae, not letting toast get a word in. "We were in navigation okay, me, Toast and Leslie. Lights went out, and suddenly a report buttons there. It's either Toast or someone came in just as lights went out and killed but that doesn't seem likely because I didn't see anyone anywhere near us at all. Anyways I'm fucking telling the truth guys, its Toast, he's the one who did it."

"Toast, do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Corpse, his voice making your insides shiver.

"Holy shit, this is my soulmate", you thought for the fiftieth time.

"Uh yeah," replied toast. "I didn't do it."

Everyone laughed as he continued.

"Like seriously, I wouldn't do anything like this because it'd be a stupid move from my own part, and I think Raes smart enough to not do this as well. I think someone else came in just as lights went down and killed immediately, which to be honest, was pretty smart of them."

"Okay so I can clear Corpse," you cut in noticing the timer was close. "he was with me in weapons when it happened, he wouldn't have had time to go all the way up, or even vent there because we were literally walking in."

"Yup that's right," confirmed corpse.

"I'm in cafeteria" said Poki.

"Yeah, I saw her on my way to weapons," said Sykkuno, "and I'm in weapons right now,"

"I'm in lower engine" said Sean, and Lily said she was in reactor.

"I think it's Toast," you mumbled and then rose your voice to talk over everyone. "Look okay fine, maybe he said it was a stupid move and he wouldn't do it but maybe he did it for that exact reason. He thought he could get away with it because no one would expect him to do something like that."

As the timer started going down by 10, you voted for Toast and it turned out 3 had skipped the vote while five had voted for him.

damn.

"Guys you actually voted for him?" you said in a high voice, re-enacting one of Sykkunos most said lines.

You heard a "oh for gods sake" from Rae before everyone went silent and you giggled as you moved back down to weapons to do your tasks.

You finished all your tasks and decided to go to security to check where everyone is. Humming as you moved through the electrical hallway, you narrowed your eyes as Corpse came out of electrical and went towards storage. Quickly ducking in you didn't see a body so you headed back out, going into cams and gasping as you saw the body. Reporting immediately you were shocked to see the four kills that had happened. Now only you, Corpse, Sean and Rae were left.

"Oh my god," you mumbled confused. Either there were still two imposters, and Toast wasn't the imposter or the imposter literally killed and did nothing else. Now either that could mean that its definitely Rae if Toast wasn't the imposter, or that it was Corpse as the only imposter left. That was a bit weird though becuase he could have totally killed you at the start of the game. You didn't suspect Sean at all.

"What the fuck?" mumbled Corpse, and Rae made her animal noises expressing her shock.

"Okay," you said taking charge and relaying the kill and your theory to everyone. "So either it was Toast and there's only one other imposter, who is Corpse. Or Toast wasn't an imposter and there's two of them left. I-" you took a deep breath in at the end, very confused. " I don't know anymore,"

"I think its Corpse as well,"

Corpse who hadn't said anything up till this moment suddenly started stammering out "hey-hey uh let-lets not gang up on me okay. It's not-"

"No, wait, its because Y/N said you came out of electrical right, and I saw you in upper engine literally a bit ago and you went down. I went towards cafeteria so I don't know exactly where you went but its totally possible that you killed."

You voted form him after that, convinced it was Corpse, and the other followed quickly.

"Guys what the fuck, at least give me a chance to explain my self" he whined when his body was thrown off the ship seconds later. You cheered when the "VICTORY" sign was displayed across the screen, bringing up your chat and laughing at Toast as he pretended to be angry at me.

"That was a great round, good work Y/N"

"Thankyou" you mumbled staring at your chat. You were confused when you saw the absolute influx of messages on there, and you were barely able to read them because they were going so fast. You scrolled up, and read through the few of the messages;

"You've made corpse sad."

"Corpse has literally been so quite since you came in, can you leave."

"Omg stop with the hate messages, its not her fault if corpse isn't talking to you"

"are you his ex or something? What was that reaction at the start?"

"what did you do? Corpse literally hasn't said a word since you came in."

"Um..."

Corpse POV

Corpses heart stopped for a minute, his breath catching. The words on his wrist glowed gold, and he stared at the little red character standing there.

This person was the reason that he had "PRAISE BINGUS" stretched across his wrist.

They were the only reason that he had searched "Bingus" on google for all of his life. The only reason Corpse knew about the meme before anyone else was because he was constantly monitoring the word online. Ever since March, he had been waiting with bated breath, anxious that he could meet his soulmate at any moment. and here you were.

For some reason, he had never expected that he would meet you in among us, or while he was on stream. He always thought it'd be someone outside. It was a bit stupid in hindsight as all he did nowadays was play among us.

He heard you introduce yourself to him but the only thing that came out of his mouth was “No fucking way”.

Immediately after he wanted to slap himself.

“Idiot” he thought to himself. “At least try to make a good impression.”

When Rae asked what was wrong, heat sprung to his cheeks as he started revealing that they were soulmates, but Y/N cut him off, saying that it was nothing.

Corpse’s heart sank a little then.

'Maybe she��s just a private person,' he reasoned with himself.

'I shouldn’t have tried to say it on stream either. God, I’m a fucking idiot, if I said it, literally everyone would know and not only would I have hated the attention, she probabaly would have as well.'

Convincing himself that she was right, he reassured himself that it wasn’t because of him. She wasn’t revealing it because she probably didn't want all the attention.

For some reason though, his heart sank even more when Y/N didnt talk to him, instead talking to sykkuno about his dog. Like sure he could understand not wanting to reveal they were soulmates but shouldn’t she at least wanna talk to him? At this point he wouldn’t even mind if she talked about his voice like everyone else.

He groaned when the word "Imposter" came across his screen, his and Toasts character standing together. He was not in the right mindset right now to be able to be a good imposter. Breathing in deeply he continued in the game, with the first round passing by quick. The second round, he saw Y/N and stood with her for a bit wondering if he should kill her. Her red character moved to weapons and he sighed moving the mouse over the kill button. Just as he was thinking of clicking a body was found. Corpse swore as Toast flew off the ship. Deciding he needed to speed it up he killed four people in the round, hissing when the meeting was called. The moment Y/N accused him, he knew it was over. He didn't even bother defending himself much, just hoping the game would end soon.

When they were in the lobby, he quickly told everyone that he was going to leave because his internet was acting up. Turning off the stream after saying a quick thank you to everyone, he leaned back in his seat breathing through his nose.

What the fuck was his life.

Even his soulmate didnt want him. Honestly, he should have expected this. Abandoned at 12 with no one around him, why did his expect his soulmate to even give a fuck about him. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked trying to get rid of them. He breathed in deeply, grabbing the water on the table and taking a big gulp. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Why couldnt he have an easier life.

“Why cant I just fucking be NORMAL” he yelled throwing the empty bottle of water at the wall.

Throwing himself into bed, he scrunched up his eyes, hoping that sleep would come today, not noticing as his phone lit up with a single message.

Your POV

You stayed for another game and then ducked out apologizing and making an excuse up.

"Sorry it was such a short stream, everyone," you said pouting at the camera. "It was fun though so hopefully I get to do it again." Waving goodbye, you turned off the camera and leaned your head back staring at the ceiling.

What the actual fuck.

Grabbing your phone, you stared at it for a bit. Everything that you had pushed to the back of your mind in the game, was suddenly in the forefront.

The only thing you knew about Corpse was that he had a really deep voice, he narrated horror movies, and he maybe did music?

'Rae mentioned that once right?' you thought to yourself.

You unlocked the phone and then locked it again, too scared to actually do anything.

Unlocked.

Locked.

Unlocked.

Locked.

"Oh get a grip," you muttered to yourself, opening the phone and sending a text to Rae.

‘Hey Rae, do you have corpses number? Do you mind sending it to me, I need to tell him something.’

A reply came in a minute,

‘umm, why. he's pretty private so idk i don't rlly wanna give his number if he doesn't want someone to have it’

You sighed, and decided you might as well tell her. You knew Rae wouldn't betray your trust.

‘He's my soulmate’

Immediately a ‘AHDJHAKJKAGDAK’ came as a reply and you giggled at the string of emojis after it.

‘Don't tell anyone,’ you sent quickly, trying to calm her down.

‘Okay okay, its XXX - XXX - XXXX, ASHAGDH IM DYING OMG. GO TALK TO HIM.’

Biting your lip you added Corpse into your contacts hesitating before putting a small black heart next to his name.

"Already simping," you mumbled under your breath, hands hovering over the keyboard as you struggled to think of what to write.

You finally decided on 'Hey, its Y/N, can I call?' thinking that something short would be the best way to go. Hand hovering over the send button, you sucked in a breath and pressed it, waiting with bated breath.

A minute passed.

And then five.

And then, without you even you realising, it'd been half an hour of you just looking at your phone.

An hour later, you were slumped on your desk, eyes closed and snoring lightly, the phone still open, the message you sent lighting up the screen.

tbc.

#corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #corpse fic #sykkuno #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband headcannons #corpse husband one shot #lilydaydreamsfics

[memxntomxri]

𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚕𝚎

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝟮 | 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 - bisexual!hinata shouyou x gn!reader, hinata shouyou x miya atsumu

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 - angst, break up

𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤 - hinata shouyou is trustworthy - with everything except for your heart

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 - 2.4k words

𝘵𝘸 - slightly descriptive nsfw?, cheating (i'm sorry to be doing my children hinata and atsumu dirty this way but this got stuck in my head 😭), major angst, break-up, no happy ending, lots and lots of crying, lots and lots of reader's internal thoughts, atsumu is an asshole

𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 - this is the result of brainrot i had stuck in my head after reading chapter 18 of SabbyWrites' A Study in Depravity. HAIKYUU BOYS ARE NOT CHEATERS - I REPEAT, HAIKYUU BOYS ARE NOT CHEATERS. BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE ALSO NOT CHEATERS. i just couldn't resist writing this lmao

also, i'm doing my best to make this a gender-neutral reader, but it might lean more towards AFAB/non-binary readers since i'm both ashelkgjkdlkjf male-identifying readers i'm sorry

thanks @meiansmistress, lou (LouEve_094 on ao3), lena, and emmy (Noisy_Emmy on ao3) for betaing! your feedback helped me a lot

𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙙𝙣𝙞 - there are some descriptive scenes of smut in here 👀 shoo, shoo

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Hinata Shouyou is trustworthy.

You know this.

It's the reason you met, after all.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

The summer you moved to Miyagi, following your father's dream of teaching in a little town similar to the one he lived in as a child, you were unhappy. Who could blame you, after all? You had a comfortable life back in Osaka, and unlike your father, you were a city dweller at heart. It was also the middle of your first year of high school—who wanted to transfer schools, let alone across prefectures, in the middle of a school year?

It was hot in Miyagi, and when the moving truck broke down on the side of the road, the entire family piled out and sat on the curb. Just your father (who you were still mad at), your mother, and you. That was what it had always been. Sure, you had friends, but somehow the friendships never got too deep. You were willing to bet that within a month, there would be no texts other than the occasional New Year's greeting or "happy birthday" from your so-called friends back in Osaka.

And don't even get you started on romantic relationships. It wasn't that you weren't attractive, or that you weren't easy to get along with—it was just that there was never anybody. Yes, you had liked people before, but nothing had ever come of it.

Your mother piped up, saving you from your dark thoughts about the state of your relationships with other people. "Y/n, love, can you go back down the hill again? I think we saw a konbini a bit that way, please buy some cool drinks." she says, depositing coins in your outstretched hand. Oh well, something to do, you supposed.

You strolled casually down the road, sweating buckets. When you pushed open the doors of the konbini—Sakanoshita Store, you noted, it definitely didn’t look like a konbini—opened, you basked in the cold air of the air conditioner for a bit. As you stood there, looking a bit dumb with your arms outstretched, you felt a weight barrel into you from behind.

With a bang, you fell forward, the weight landing on your back. "Ow!" you cried, rubbing your right wrist, which had unceremoniously made contact with the ground, pain shooting up the limb. You twisted around to glare at whatever had so unceremoniously bowled you over. You were met with the sight of wide, brown eyes and flushed cheeks. "Sorry!" the boy squeaked, getting off of you quickly. "So sorry!" You frowned and got up.

"Watch where you’re going, okay?" You were a few centimeters taller than him, you noted.

He started blabbering, talking about how he needed to get the first-aid kit because a "Stingyshima" had "accidentally" ran into "Bakageyama" and this "Bakageyama" now had a bleeding knee and that he was the fastest runner in their volleyball club (he was strangely emphatic about this point). By the time he was finished rambling, you were chuckling slightly. It was obvious that he hadn't meant anything by running into you, and it was actually kind of endearing how earnestly he was trying to explain himself.

You held up a hand, stopping him from continuing to ramble. "Y-you aren't mad, right?" he asked anxiously. You smiled and shook your head slightly. "It seems your team trusts you to help take care of your friend, so why don't you grab the first-aid kit and go help him?" You suggested gently.

He nodded quickly and darted behind the counter, grabbing a white box. As he jogged away, he seemed to remember something and turned around to holler at you. "My name's Hinata Shouyou! I'm a first year!" he introduced himself in a bright voice.

Just inside the konbini, a small smile slipped across your face.

Hinata Shouyou, huh. He seemed nice.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

Hinata Shouyou is trustworthy.

It's the reason you fell in love with him.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

The first day of school, you meet Hinata Shouyou again. And again. And again. He somehow seems to pop up everywhere you go—not that you're complaining, he's entertaining and nice—and soon, you think you can count yourself as his friend.

You go to his game against Aoba Johsai, then Shiratorizawa, then you're hugging him as he jumps up and down, celebrating their win. That’s the first time your heart jumps when you look at him, haloed by the lights of the gym.

Slowly, you feel yourself falling in love with him. Not just falling for him, no, because Hinata Shouyou will not let anyone do anything in halves, especially not falling in love. Shouyou, to you, (because by then you were on first-name basis) is someone you can rely on, someone that is always there, like the sun, trustworthy.

And because he is always there, it's also easy to confess to him in your second year. You know him well enough by now to know that even if he doesn't feel the same, nothing would change about your friendship except for the addition of unspoken words. And you think that he might love you back, if the lingering glances and brighter smiles are any indication.

Your guess is right, and by New Year's break, the two of you are a happy couple.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

Hinata Shouyou is trustworthy.

It's why you let him go, if only for a little bit.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

When Shouyou left for Brazil, you took a break from each other. To be honest, it was your idea.

It wasn't that you didn't think that you couldn't trust him ten thousand kilometers away—it was that you knew you would hold him back. He was going to Brazil to chase his dream, and having a tether to his hometown would only slow him down. It hurt, having to say goodbye at the airport, but somehow the two of you got through it.

You still talked—a little more than "just friends" should—but you were careful not to let him think that you were together.

Shouyou was meant for greater things, and back then, as an insecure, just-barely-adult going into medical school, you weren't sure if you fit into the picture.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

Hinata Shouyou is trustworthy.

It's the reason why you let him back in.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

When Shouyou returns from Brazil, the first person he visits is you. You, all the way out in Osaka, pushing yourself to your limits as you study for med school. When you open your door and see him standing there, smiling as bright as ever, you fall into his arms—both literally and metaphorically. It turns out, even two years later, you trust him to catch you.

It was all too natural for you and Shouyou to get back together, and by a stroke of luck, he joins the MSBY Black Jackals, right there in Osaka. You move in together, his slightly larger salary allowing the two of you to rent a bigger apartment.

Yes, it's hard work being in a relationship again, but you like having Shouyou to return to every night after your shift is over. You wake up early every morning to make the two of you breakfast and lunch, and Shouyou always has dinner waiting for you when you step back in the door, often also staying up so that you can talk.

You're content.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

Hinata Shouyou is trustworthy.

It's the reason why you think nothing of his closeness with his teammates.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

Shouyou has always been a people-magnet. Even back in high school, everyone loved him. Shouyou is bisexual. You know this. He’s always had more than enough love to give back, too, and his bisexuality had never impacted your relationship. Why should it, when you’re every bit as queer as him? Your relationship was strong, and you believed in it. That's why, at every team dinner that he takes you to, when someone else inevitably takes the seats next to him instead of you and you're relegated to a corner, you don't worry about it. Shouyou loves you, and it doesn't matter where you sit for a couple of hours.

Yes, Miya Atsumu is a bit aggressive whenever Shouyou compliments him, throwing a smirk over his shoulder at you triumphantly, but you chalk it to them being good friends and Miya-san wanting to get to know you better by having a little friendly competition, and that's okay.

Yes, Shouyou starts going out with his team more and more, but they're his team. He's supposed to be close with them.

Yes, you start to feel a little neglected, but it wasn't as if you were the most attentive back when you were still struggling through med school.

And anyways, Shouyou always makes time for the two of you on Saturdays, your designated date nights. You have trust in your relationship, in its rock-tight foundation built upon years of knowing each other.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

Hinata Shouyou is trustworthy.

It's why you believe his words.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

One Friday, after an especially busy shift at the hospital that got cut short for you when a coworker unexpectedly came in to fill in for you, you decide to head home early and get some rest, maybe cuddle with Shouyou while watching those romcoms you both enjoy.

You had told him that you'd be home late that night, and you hoped that you could surprise him with some dinner. So, you swung by his favorite yakitori place and ordered dinner, driving home as fast as you safely could.

As you open the door to your apartment, you hear the distinctive sounds of sex, skin slapping on skin, grunts and moans, high keens. You frown. Maybe Shouyou was watching porn? He sometimes liked to get himself ready (the two of you enjoyed the occasional pegging) before you got home. You drop the food on the kitchen table and put your jacket on the hook.

"Love, I'm home!" you call out softly. No response.

Frowning deeper now, you move towards the bedroom door. Just as you're about to open it, you hear something that stops you cold.

"A-ah, Atsumu!" It's distinctively Shouyou's voice, and suddenly, you can't move anymore.

Shouyou, who told you you could make it through med school.

Shouyou, who made you yakisoba and miso soup whenever you were stuck studying.

Shouyou, who whispered sweet nothings in your ear every morning as the two of you made breakfast.

Shouyou, who is currently in bed with Miya fucking Atsumu.

You want to get up, you want to slam open the door, you want to demand answers, but somehow, you can't get your legs to budge from the spot in the ground they've rooted themselves to.

Then,

"Who do you love, Sho?" Atsumu growls.

Your heart skips a beat.

No.

No.

You pray to all the gods you know that what's about to pass Shouyou's lips will miraculously stay trapped in his throat, but it seems like the gods don't feel kind today.

"Y-you, Atsumu, you!" you hear Shouyou cry.

Your heart shatters into a million little kaleidoscopic pieces. Tears start running down your face, hot, involuntary, painful, because they represent the six years of a beautiful relationship down the drain, because nothing will ever be the same, because Shouyou is cheating on you.

Finally, your legs decide to move again. It seems like someone else is controlling your body as you walk towards the door, opening it with a shaking hand.

Shouyou is pinned down by Miya-san on the bed, legs thrown over his shoulder, as he slams into him.

The door bangs against the wall.

Shouyou looks up, and when he sees you, his face floods with guilt.

You don't say anything. You just stand there, tears flooding down your face, betrayal evident in your expression.

"Y-y/n!" he says. "I-I- I swear, this isn't-" he begins.

You cut him off. "I don't want to hear it, Shouyou." you spit.

Miya-san chuckles. "Who are we kidding, this is exactly what they think it is. What, did you think that you would be enough to satisfy Sho? You, with your infinitely busy schedule? You, who has no clue about volleyball?" he says, cutting into you.

"Atsumu, stop!" Shouyou says, frantic. He can tell that he's going to lose you, but he's not going to go down without a fight. "Babe, I love you, please-" he says, getting out of Miya-san's embrace and moving towards you. You sidestep him, holding a duffel bag with a change of clothes.

You stand there, looking at the scene, chuckling darkly inside your head. Just a scorned lover, a man, and his side-piece. You take a deep breath.

"You know, Shouyou, if you fell in love with someone else, you should've just told me. I trust you to be honest. I'm leaving—because even though you might love me, you're in love with Miya-san." you said.

Shouyou looks stricken with guilt, but you know it's from lying, not because he loves you anymore. Your laugh is broken and rough on the ears. "You think I didn't hear you? Oh, Shouyou, I heard more than enough. Have a nice life, and I hope that you remember how you broke me. I hope it fucking haunts you to the day of your death," you hurl at him.

Because even though at that moment you're screaming at him, you know that you still love him, that you’ll always will love him, and that you will carry this scar for the rest of your life. And even though you love him enough to leave now, to let him be with the person he loves—you still have enough love for yourself to hope that he bears some of the weight of this horrible, messy end too.

And with that, you walk out the door.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

But you're wrong.

Hinata Shouyou might love Miya Atsumu, but he still loves you more.

Years later, looking back, he comprehends that he didn't just break you. As he stares at his empty apartment, devoid of a lover—because what you said was true, he still carries the guilt, the memory of your tear-stained face, the recollections of your golden time together that ruined any relationship he might have had before it started, the echo of your absolute trust in him,

—Hinata Shouyou realizes he ruined himself too.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

© ʙᴇᴛʜᴇʏᴅᴏᴄʀɪᴍᴇᴡʀɪᴛᴇꜱ 2021 - ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ

#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #hinata x reader #hinata shouyou x reader #atsuhina #canon universe #angst #haikyu angst #cheating #no happy ending

[chaos-writes-fanfiction]

You’re in love with him

A/n I gave his mom the name Mei.

Warnings: none just some fluff, friends to lovers

Pairings: Aone × fem!reader

Being best friends with Aone came easily having your mother’s being best friends and living down the street from one another meant spending lots of time with him becoming close friends your selves. Always going to school together and waiting for him during practice so you can go home together. Having weekly sleepovers alternating who’s house unless he was away for a game, tournament or training camp.

And today you made your way to the gym to watch practice while doing homework, before staying at his house for the weekend. When you walk in the guys were still stretching.

“Hey guys” you said walking in

They greeted you with several ‘hey’ or 'hi’ from them as they started to warm up. Taking your normal seat and starting on your homework. When suddenly a volleyball comes flying at you unexpectedly and smashing into the side of your face. The whole team freezes except Aone who is running up to you.

“Way to go” Futakuchi said sarcastically to Koganegawa “dont be surprised when Aone kills you for hitting her”

“Let me see” Aone said softly moving your hand away from your cheek

Your cheek was very red and bruising already as tears fell down your cheeks. He ghosted his thumb over your cheek to wipe your tears

“Ow” you whimpered

“Here” Sakunami said handing Aone a ice pack that he wrapped a towel in so the ice wasn’t directly on your skin

He took it and gently placed it on your cheek holding your face so gently in his hand. You gently place your hand over his on your cheek.

“Thanks bear” you whisper his childhood nickname

He smiled softly at that. Then his smile dropped as he removed his hand from your cheek your hand still holding the ice pack as he turned and glared at Koganegawa.

“I promise it was an accident I didnt mean to” Koganegawa said quickly

“Then why haven’t you apologized to her?” Sakunami asked

Koganegawa ran over to you hanging his head

“I’m so sorry Senpai” he said “I didnt mean to”

“Please be more careful Koganegawa” you said

He nodded and they went back to practice you packed up your things as you waited for them to clean up to walk home with Aone. Your cheek still hurt and it had potential to give you a black eye from where it hit your cheek.

“Let’s go” Aone said when they were finished

“Can I get a piggyback ride to the train station?” You asked

He nodded and crouched down. You climb on and he holds your legs as you wrap your arms around his neck as he starts walking to the train station, resting your non bruised cheek against his his back. He set you down while waiting for the train. When you finally arrive to his house you walk in taking off your shoes in the now permanent space for you since you were over so often.

“Are you kids home?” His mom calls from the kitchen

“Yes we are Mei” you said

“Dinner is just about ready if you want to wash up” she said

Aone walks up to the bathroom to shower quickly before dinner. As you walk into the kitchen washing your hands to help finish making dinner.

“How are you dear?” Mei asked her back to you

“I’m good” you said as you move next to her cutting up some green onion

“What happened to your face?” She asked alarmed seeing the bruise

“I was watching practice and I got hit with a stray spike” you said

“Oh dear” she said “have you iced it?”

“Yes, bear made me right after it happened” you said

She smiled at the use of Aones nickname “of course he did” she said “but it looks like it still going to be around for a little while.”

“Yeah unfortunately” she said “the first year that accidentally hit me felt so bad I thought he was going to start crying”

She giggled softly and you both finished up making dinner which was shoyu ramen (soy sauce based)

“Will you go get him for dinner?” Mei asked

You nod and go upstairs to his room the shower wasn’t going anymore. So you walk to his door and knock. He opens the door letting you in. Hes drying his hair from his shower wearing black sweats and a white tshirt.

“Dinner is ready” you said smiling up at him.

“What are we having?” He asked putting the towel in his basket

“Ramen” you said

“Good its going to be cold tonight” he said.

He lightly touches your cheek again.

“I’m okay” you said

“I know I worry still” he said

“You always do” you said leaning into his touch and turn to kiss the palm of his hand “let’s go eat”

You take his hand in yours not noticing the wash of pink on his cheeks as you lead him down to the table and taking your normal seat beside him. After dinner and helping him clean up, his mom left going to the store to get some groceries and some snacks for the both of you for the weekend.

You go upstairs with him, he started on his homework and you lounge on his bed keeping him company when your phone started ringing.

“I’ll be right back” you tell him as you leave his room

You walk to the living room. And sit down and answer your girl bestfriends call

“Hey, Yachi” you said

“Hey honey” she said

“What’s up?” You asked

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to have a sleep over this weekend” she said “me, kiyoko and Saeko are here”

“Oh I can’t, I’m already staying at Aone’s this weekend” you said

“Have you confessed to him yet?” Saeko asked

“What do you mean? Hes my best friend we’ve been friends our whole lives my mom and his mom are childhood bestfriends too” you said

“You spend all your time with him unless hes away for volleyball” she said

“Well yeah…” you said

“Did something happen?” Kiyoko asked

“I got hit with a stray spike in the face” you said

“And how did he react?” Yachi asked

“He ran over right away and checked on me and gave me an ice pack after wiping my tears away” you said

“And after practice?” Saeko asked

“He gave me a piggyback ride to the train station and we took the train home, I helped his mom finish making dinner and we ate, I was keeping him company in his room while he did homework until you called” you said

“I hate to be the one to say it but you and him act more like boyfriend and girlfriend not friends” kiyoko said

You sat in silence for a little while thinking about everything.

“Hey are you still there?” Saeko asked

“Oh god” you said

“You’re in love with him” kiyoko said you could hear the smile in her voice

“Yeah…” you trailed off

“Then go tell him” Saeko said

“Is everything alright dear?” Mei asked

You hang up the phone and look up at her as she stood in front of you

“I just realized something” you whispered looking down

“What?” She asked concerned

“I’m in love with him” you whispered afraid to say it too loudly

“Who?” She asked tilting your chin up “Takanobu?”

“Yes” you whispered nodding

She smiled and kissed your forehead “I’m happy you finally figured it out” she said

“What?” You asked confused

“Your mom and I were wondering when you’d finally figure it out” she said

“Really?” You asked “you both knew?”

“Oh my dear, I’m pretty sure the only ones who didnt know were you and him” she said smiling “now, why dont you go tell him”

You nod a little hesitantly but go back upstairs after texting yachi why you hung up so suddenly. When you walk back in hes closing his text books

“Finished already?” You asked

“Yes” he said standing up and walking over to sit on his bed

You go and sit beside him.

“Can I tell you something?” You asked

“Of course” he said

You take a deep breath and let it out slowly resting your head on his shoulder “I love you, more than just friends” you said

He stiffened for a moment “you do?” He asked turning to look at you

You look back at him and nod

“I-I” he started but took a breath “I love you too, more than just a friend”

“You do?” You asked

“Yes, I have for a while” he said and he reaches into his bedside table and pulled out a letter and handed it to you

“What’s this?” You asked

“Read it” he said

You open the letter and read it;

'My dear,

We’ve been friends for as long as I remember and I’ve never been good with words; but I want you to know I cherish our friendship, but lately I find myself wanting more, I want to hold your hand when we are walking together, not just around town but at school too, I want to hold you in my arms when we have our weekly sleep overs, to wear my volleyball jacket when you come to my games. I guess I’m saying that I want you to be my girlfriend. I’ve loved you for a while now and it’s taken me this long to tell you how I feel.

-Love your Bear’

“I’ll gladly be your girlfriend” you said as tears fell down your cheeks

He wiped away your tears and kissed your forehead. You look up at him and lean towards him and gently kiss his lips, he kissed you back gently before pulling away smiling. You smile back and cuddle up to him as he gently plays with your fingers and his hand in yours. The both of you end up falling asleep cuddling.

A few weeks later, you’re getting ready, Saeko is picking you up to take you with her to a training camp to surprise Aone. You hear her honking and you run out and climb in handing Hinata your bag.

“Okay go” you said

“Are you excited?” Saeko asked

“Of course I am” you said “I’m always excited to see my boyfriend”

“Dont you see him every day?” Hinata asked

“Yep but he doesn’t know that I’m coming” you said smiling

About 45 minutes later and nearly dying from Saekos insane driving three times you finally arrive at the training camp, the first ones out are Hinata and Kageyama. Then you and Saeko got out walking towards the gym where the teams were taking a short break between games. The next team’s going up were Date Tech and Karasuno. Kiyoko and Yachi see you first.

“You came!” Yachi said smiling as she runs over and hugs you

“Saeko picked me up” you said and hug her back

“Good, we needed a few other girls” Kiyoko said smiling taking her hug

“Please, shes ditching us for her boyfriend” Saeko said rolling her eyes playfully

“Boyfriend?” Nishinoya asked “this beautiful goddess has a boyfriend?”

“Yep” you said smiling

“Who?” He asked

“Watch” Yachi said

Just then Date Tech walked over and you smile as you see your boyfriends eyes widen seeing you here. You run up to him jumping into his waiting arms wrapping your arms around his neck as he held your thighs, giving him a kiss on the cheek

“Hey” he said softly

“Hey baby” you said smiling hugging him tightly

He was holding you close not paying any attention to the stares from the other teams. As they watched the iron wall be soft for his girlfriend. He sets you back down on your feet, but holds your hand.

“Come meet my friends” you said he nods and follows you over, “this is, Kiyoko, Yachi and Saeko, kiyoko and yachi are Karasunos managers and Saeko is Tanakas older sister”

“Hi” he said “I’m Aone”

“Oh we know a lot about you” Saeko said smirking at you “this one talks about you all the time”

“Saeko I do not” you said blushing deep red

“Except you do” Kiyoko said

You whine a little bit embarrassed and hide your face in Aones chest. He starts stroking your hair.

“Its fine dear, I dont mind you talking about me” he said.

“Aone were about to start” Futakuchi said calling him over

“Go, good luck” you said

He lets you go and kisses your lips quickly before running back over to his team.

“Its definitely safe to say that you’re in love with him” Kiyoko said

“Yes I am” you said smiling watching your boyfriend getting ready to play

“So should we expect wedding invitations after you graduate?” Saeko asked in a teasing tone

“Maybe” you said blushing.

#aone x reader #aone takanobu #aone fluff #aone #takanobu aone x reader #haikyuu takanobu #childhood friend #childhood friends to lovers #getting together #love notes #love confessions #fluff

[highpope]

pieced together pt. one

posting here too because not that many people have seen it also sorry for the weird spacing idk what’s going on

JJ Maybank x pogue reader - season 2 fic

spoiler warning!

You laid in bed watching the rain hit your windows, the radio downstairs faintly describes the fate of the world. You can’t make out complete sentences without straining, but you have heard enough from the last few days to know there were no updates about John B and Sarah. The radio has been on for days on end, your parents not wanting to miss any possible update about your friends or the storm that seemed never-ending. It was like it rained for years. It was a constant reminder of the night your two best friends were driven out into the storm and everything changed. You could hear Shoupe’s words in the back of your mind, “we lost ‘em' ' on a constant loop. You could see Kiara’s face and JJ’s hands and Pope’s heart shatter. Like all the stars had come falling down and you were the only one left to pick up all the pieces. You prayed this was all a nightmare. You could wake up and not only would they both be here, but you’d all be safe. You would give up the gold a hundred times over if it meant John B and Sarah would be home.

Both Pope and Kie’s parents had called your mom every night since that day. When she thought you were asleep, she would creep down the stairs and sit in the kitchen and cry, praying they had some good news. Something that could take away some of the pain you were in. But she couldn’t, no one could. You had to hear half the town talk about John B like he was a murderer like he kidnapped Sarah like he was some delusional kid from the cut. All while you knew the Cameron’s were roaming free and receiving sympathy for what they’re going through. It made you sick to think about. They had a private funeral for Sarah. People gave their condolences and spoke so kindly about her. They scoffed at her recent behavior and her newfound friendship from “those dirty pogues.”

Sometime around day two, your mom came into your room asking if you had heard from JJ. He had been with the Heyward’s up until that morning when he’d completely disappeared.

For a second, you felt something other than grief, knowing he had been with Pope and not his dad, but that was short-lived. You tried to imagine how peaceful it would have been under different circumstances, a world in which he was always safe. One where Luke Maybank had no control over his life. You wanted to get lost in that daydream, live in that alternative reality for a while. He wouldn’t have to keep a duffel bag full of clothes and cash under your bed for when things got bad. He wouldn’t have to know how to do stitches on himself or how to pop a dislocated shoulder back in place. He’d be safe. He’d be happy. She asked again if you had heard from JJ, snapping you back to reality. (you had not). You watched as her forehead creased and her lips straightened into a thin line, like something in her had broken too.

She hurts just as much as you do. At first, you contributed that to her not being able to take away your pain, which is part of it. But you later realized she’s lost a person, too. You had known John B since grade school, there were pictures of the group of you sitting on your swing set in your backyard at age nine. Ones of you, JJ, John B, and Pope asleep in your living room after attempting to build a fort. He stayed for dinners and birthday parties. She watched us grow up, every first day of school, soccer game, fishing tournament. Our families had somehow combined over the years. Not only does your mom hurt for you, but she lost a child. And that weight is heavier than anything.

You stopped crying by day three. Nothing left. You were completely and utterly numb but consumed by loss all at the same time. You hadn’t initially worried about JJ. He did this. He disappeared for a little, to clear his head, but he always came back. He never stayed away for more than three days. That’s how long it took for him to feel balanced again, maybe less, but never more. He said it was because he couldn’t get a burger as good as the ones at The Wreck anywhere else in the world, but you knew how much he loved the outer banks and the people there. You also knew that he’d never leave without you. And if he absolutely had to, he would at least say goodbye. He had to, he promised. You held on to that every time his phone went straight to voicemail. And when days four and five came and went and you still haven’t heard from him, you were worried. He should’ve crawled through your window in yesterday’s clothes with a few more scratches on his arm than he left with, but his eyes would glow a little brighter and he would still smile when you insisted he spends the night. So, when you cracked your window open and slept with your bedside lamp on (so that he could see the light from outside) and he still wasn’t there when you awoke, your mourning turned into something else. You sent a few texts, in case he somehow got them, but you were doubtful.

You didn’t know what it was like to live without him. There wasn’t a time in your life you could remember when you and JJ weren’t attached at the hip. Sometime around kindergarten, you two became inseparable, ultimately meeting John B and Pope as you got older and Kie when you all got to junior high. There was a weird couple of months around third grade where he decided girls had cooties, but it was short-lived because when JJ realized that meant you couldn’t be friends anymore he thought it was dumb and started coming over again. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint when your relationship changed, the lines between friendship and something more merging and becoming blurred. If you had to, for you it was the start of sophomore year. Something changed when you were together, even just sitting in silence was comfortable and exciting. Eyes started lingering, touches became more frequent, and then one day you were just together. It’s been the same since. You think back to the first time you kissed like a couple. It definitely hadn’t been the first time the two of you had ever kissed. You were sure there had been at least one during your childhood and you vividly remember a New Year’s Eve party and a couple of games of truth or dare. But this time it was different. There was something behind it.

You and JJ sat side by side in the hammock outside of John B’s. He was smoking while using his one leg to rock the two of you slowly back and forth. You were struggling to keep your eyes open and pay attention to whatever story was being told. JJ must have noticed because he wrapped an arm around you, inviting you to lay on his chest.

This wasn’t uncommon between you. JJ was always physically affectionate toward the people he cared about and you had no problem reciprocating. You stayed just like that until it was just the two of you left outside.

JJ shifted slightly under your weight causing you to wake up. “Shit, sorry. You okay?” he asked, tossing the tip of the blunt into the fire.

You nodded, “mhm.” You looked around, realizing how dark it had gotten, “You could’ve woken me up! It’s late.”

“You looked peaceful.”

You pretended to clutch your heart, “JJ Maybank being nice? Dare I say sweet?”

“Shut up,” he said, rolling his eyes. He was smiling at you like you were the funniest person in the world.

“ No, no. You care about me,” you joked, poking his chest with your finger, “you loooove me.”

“ Yeah?” he challenged, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” you said, your breath suddenly catching in your throat.

“What if I do?” He asked, but it wasn’t a question. His face was serious, a glimmer of hope in his crystal eyes.

You look slightly from his eyes to his lips. If JJ noticed he didn’t lead on. He just slowly bridged the gap between you, your noses brushing for a moment before your lips connected. It was slow and careful, not wanting to push too far, but all the same, wanting to completely unravel the other. His hand cupped your cheek, his rings cold against your flushed face as you leaned into the kiss.

You heard faint screams and cheers from inside the chateau and Pope’s “Finally!” echo out. You could feel him smiling and soon enough you were both laughing. You had finally come together and nothing would take that away.

On day six, the rain stopped and the world carried on as normal. You wanted to yell at every person you saw. How could anyone feel so neutral about anything that happened in the last week? The sheriff was dead, there was a murderer on the loose, your two best friends were gone, and your boyfriend was missing. But yeah, go ahead and go to the grocery store like any other Wednesday morning. Someone tell the earth, it’s not supposed to keep spinning after the world ends.

You were lying on your bed, staring at your ceiling as you tried to fall asleep, a breeze flowed through your window and your lamp illuminated the room. All you could hear were cicadas and the wind rustling through the trees until you heard your window creak and slide open. You tried to process everything all at once, your eyes scanning over every part of his body, trying to meet his eyes. He was wearing the same clothes he had on the last time you saw him. There was dirt under his fingernails and his face was puffy from crying. His lip was cracked and covered in dry blood and bruises littered his jaw and hands. You could cry at the mere sight of him. Before either of you could speak, you collided.

You held his head to your chest and placed kisses on his hairline. You tried to wipe your tears before he could see them, but it was no use. The two of you were a tangle of arms and legs, of broken hearts and misguided minds, so desperately trying to tell the other it was going to be okay without believing it yourself.

“I miss him so much,” he sobbed. Your heart fell to your stomach and everything you had pushed down the past few days came rushing back.

“Me too,” you breathed. JJ’s arms wrapped around your stomach and he buried his head into your neck. You stayed like this for what felt like hours, thinking that if you held on long enough the two of you wouldn’t fall apart.

You heard your door open slightly and you quickly turned your head to see your mom stood there, tears brimming her eyes. You can visibly see her shoulders relax as she lets out a sigh. Your door closes softly as if not to disturb you both. You hear her on the other side of the door, “he’s here. He’s okay.”

“My dad’s gone,” he murmured into your neck.

You can physically feel your heart break for the boy in your arms and the younger version of him, trying to find a space he belongs and mourning the only one he ever found. You want so badly to hold him together, paint all of his scars golden. To remind him how much people love him, how much you love him, but no words come out.

“Guess he finally picked up and left, son of a bitch” His voice wobbled, “I went back, uh, that night to find the necklace John B gave me.”

He pulled away so he could talk directly to you. You cupped his cheeks and swiped the tears with your thumbs before they could fall. He laughed dryly, remembering, “Climbed through my bedroom window and everything. It should’ve taken two minutes tops but it wasn’t on my dresser like I thought it was. I tore my room apart looking for it. And then my dad came home and heard me, uh he was not happy to see me, as you can imagine.”

“Did he hurt you?” you ask, moving farther away from him to make sure he wasn’t bleeding or worse.

He grabs your hands and brings them to his chest, “I’m okay, I promise.”

“Is that where you were? The past few days,”

He nods, “yeah. I woke up the next day and he was gone. I was just going to get my stuff and go, but I don't know. Something wasn’t right.” He pauses to gather his thoughts, “They all really do leave, huh?”

“Don’t say that,” you urge.

“I’m just-”

“No. Do not think like that. None of this is your fault. Your dad is a fucking awful person for not loving you like you need to be loved. Like you deserve to be loved. And John B-” your voice cracks, “John B would never leave us if he didn’t have to and, and you have me. I couldn’t ever leave you. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself

He kisses your knuckles, “I know, I know. He just has so much power over the way I think.”

“But you know. You know you are nothing like him.”

He nods, not meeting your eyes.

“These past few days, J. You scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Don’t disappear on me, okay?”

“Never.” He pushes his lips to yours, urgent and longing. You move your hands to his head, bringing him closer, trying to pour yourself into him.

#obx #outer banks #jj maybank #obx fic #rudy pankow #pope heyward #jonathan daviss #john b routledge #chase stokes #kiara carerra #madison bailey #sarah cameron #madelyn cline #obx fics #outer banks spoilers #obx s 2 #jj x reader #jj obx #jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj maybank x reader

[helloprettybb]

all i see

insp. by a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be by jess benko. this song destroys me and almost makes me cry everytime i hear it. i just can’t it makes me so emotional so i had to write an angsty little piece about it.

pairing: steve rogers x reader

description: you loved him with all your being, but that wasn’t enough.

warnings: big angst, not much organization so if that bothers you, sorry, kinda fuzzy timeline that tries to be chronologically, cursing

word count: 1.4k

stranger, who knows all my secrets; can pull me apart and break my heart

He consumes your thoughts all day and night. You hate yourself, truly. You resent your heart for allowing a man to have such a grip on you, but here you are, leaning against your apartment balcony with a cup of tea in your hand. Your tired eyes glance down at the city beneath you. For being the city that never sleeps, New York is pretty quiet at 3 a.m. The cars zooming below you are mostly semi-trucks with the occasional sports car.

You should be asleep, too. But every time you close your eyes, you dip into a dream about him. America’s golden boy, the ultimate patriot, Steve Rogers, your unrequited soulmate. You’re a rather closed-off person, but Steve made you believe it didn’t have to be like that.

“You know you can tell me anything?” he says randomly. It was late and you were at Steve’s apartment with an empty pizza box and a couple of beers. It’s become a sort of routine. Although the food and drink varied, the company never did.

“Yeah, Steve.” You smile, “I know that.” He smiled back at you as if he knew you didn’t completely trust your words.

“I know you’re not really open to people, but I just wanted you to know that,” he adds. 

“Thanks, Steve.” you reply and you mean it.

You had that conversation almost a year into your friendship. Back before space titans came to wipe out half the universe or government contracts were established. It was a simpler time. If only you fell for him then.

You had a boyfriend at the time. A lousy one, but still, a boyfriend. You only felt platonic feelings toward him, but when your relationship fell through a year later, you saw those feelings change.

You were debating on confessing. Perhaps he liked you, too. After all, you’re his closest friend. But just as you were about to tell him your feelings, he told you something else.

“Yeah, her name is Sharon.” You smile wide. Maybe the more your face burns the less your eyes will sting from tears.

“How did you meet?” you ask, but you don’t really care. You’re being a really shitty friend right now, but to be fair, your heart is shattering as you speak. You listen to him talk about Sharon. She sounds nice, great, even. You’re not mad at her. Hell, you’re not even mad at her. No, you’re mad at yourself for being such an idiot and falling for Steve, someone who was never within your reach in the first place.

You watch as he falls for her. It breaks you, but it’s not like you can tell him. So you stand on the sidelines, smile when he looks your way, and cry when he turns his back. It’s the most heartbroken you ever think you’ll be until he tells you-

“I have to leave.”

“What?” you ask. wondering why he’s telling you specifically now. He always leaves for missions, but he’s rarely ever told you. And when he does, he never looks this serious. But right now, with his furrowed brow and anxious determination, he looks like he’s ready for something different, more serious.

“I just-” He cuts himself off. His eyes bore into you and you can almost feel them stare into your soul. “I have to leave and I don’t know when I’ll be back. So I just want to say goodbye.”

He’s leaving you for good. Or at least, that’s what he makes it sound like. You bite your bottom lip to prevent yourself from crying, but it doesn’t work. The tears spill out slowly at first. But when Steve pulls you into a hug, you hold him back. Tears spilling freely, you grab onto him for dear life. Because maybe, just maybe, if you hold on tight enough, he won’t go. He’ll stay with you forever and you’ll be together and happy. But when you feel him start to pull away, you let go.

Waking up from being dusted away was an odd sensation. You were visiting your parents when the snap happened, so you reappeared in their living room. Lucky for you, they weren’t snapped away and the house was still theirs. They were overcome with joy when they saw their little girl was back.

They catch you up on the past five years like how your sister gave birth and now you have a four-year-old niece to meet. You laugh and smile and absorb the abundance of happiness at the reunion.

You go back to your apartment which luckily, you still have because your parents acquired it and put it up for rent. Unlike many of the other displaced people, you were fortunate to come back to a family and a home.

While walking around your apartment, you get a text.

“Are you back?” It’s from Steve. Your heart flutters in your chest. You haven’t heard from Steve since the night he told you he was leaving for good.

“Yes,” you reply quickly.

“Wanna meet at my apartment?” You eagerly accept. Can it get any better?

It’s just like those old Friday nights. Beer, pizza, laughing. It’s perfect. Steve is happy to see you as it’s been seven years. It’s funny because you look the same, but Steve. He’s changed. He no longer has that alert, almost anxious look, but a calmer, gentler demeanor. He looks like he’s at peace. At the moment, you thought it was because of you. But you quickly learned otherwise.

Steve told you that night. He spared you the specifics, only giving you the rough idea, not that you wanted to know more. If anything, you wanted to erase your mind of anything and everything Steve Rogers. You wanted to take back the years with him and go back to the time before you knew him.

When he told you he was leaving again, it hurt you more than you ever thought possible. There were so many thoughts running through your head, so many emotions stinging your heart. He was leaving for her? That woman he knew for a couple of years in the forties? What about everyone here? You wondered if you weren’t good enough for him. You thought about how fucking good she could be for him to go back and time and lose all his friends here.

But then it hit you. He loves her as much as you love him. It hurt so badly not because he chose someone over you, but because you’d do the same. You would choose Steve over anyone or anything. If given the chance, you’d travel back a thousand years to spend your life with him.

That just about broke you. The realization that you may never fall for anyone as hard as you fell for Steve. You may convince yourself that you’ve moved on or found someone else, but it’d be a lie. Steve was the love of your life; you just weren’t his.

That night, you wanted to tell it all to him. Say everything that’s been on your mind and all the emotions building inside. But then you realized it wouldn’t have mattered. What would’ve happened if you said you loved him?

He wouldn’t have stayed, since he didn’t feel the same way. He loved Peggy and your confession would not have changed anything. It would do more harm than good because knowing Steve, he would feel immense guilt and you don’t want that. The last thing you want is to put Steve in that position.

God, you love him. You love him so much it hurts. As much as it pains you, Steve Rogers is your world. He reminds you of everything good and fills your heart with joy every time you see him. You love everything about him from his stupid preference for smaller shirts to his adorable obliviousness to the modern world.  But all your affections, all your hopeful feelings only bring you pain and misery.

So, you don’t confess your feelings, you don’t beg him to stay, you don’t even cry. You make a joke. “Seems like everytime we see each other only ends with a goodbye forever.” You laugh, but it’s more at yourself, not at your joke. You laugh because you’re such a damn fool for falling for him.

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers imagine #marvel #marvel imagines #marvel fanfiction

[bts-teaspoonff]

Reward

Genre: Smut with slight plot, Polyamory

Pairing: Yoongi x reader, Hoseok x reader, Yoongi x Hoseok

Rating: 18+

Synopsis: A well-deserved break after weeks of stress from work. Your boyfriend decided to give you a reward. You didn't know that he was not the only one eager to give you a reward.

Warnings: NSFW, double penetration, double creampie, unprotected s*x (still do safe s*x, kids!), slight degradation, cum eating, oral (F receiving, M receiving), implied!sub Yoongi, implied!dom reader, role!switch Yoongi, role!switch reader, Dom!Hoseok, anal s*x, vaginal s*x, love biting, cheek slapping (but not intense), choking (y/n’s not abused, y'all), A VERY IMPATIENT Y/N

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: This is actually inspired by their *chuckles* iconic japanese song, Otsukare. The closest translation in English would be “Thanks for your hard work”. Seriously, you guys need to watch their SOPE and OT7 performance of the song! You will laugh your ass off..

It’s been almost a month since you and your team have been burning blood, sweat and tears into this one specific medical case. Working as a medical intern with plentiful senior doctors piling every work on interns is brutal, however you just wade through everything since you did land an internship spot in the most prestigious hospital in the country. You do live in a decent apartment with a nice view you might say, but recently, you’ve been taking refuge in the intern’s lounge for almost a month already. All you want is to caress the soft material of your favorite linen and spend a week on your bed without getting out of it.

Today’s different. You and your fellow interns have cracked the case and have just finished presenting it to a panel of senior doctors. It’s also nice now that the patient in the said case can now breathe a lot easier since there is a higher chance of survival with our proposed medical management. You truly can’t wait to get home.

You also haven’t seen Yoongi, your boyfriend, for almost three weeks. Video calls and missed opportunities was your love story with him since you’ve handled the killer case.

He was very understanding of your situation, especially when you did try to visit him in his apartment one day. You were so drained but you still kept your promise to him for a ‘Movie and Taco Tuesday Night’. Just fifteen minutes into the movie, you were dead asleep on his couch. Sometimes, you even fell asleep while on a video call with him. You felt ashamed that you apologized to him non-stop for a week. He told you that he could compromise so he started visiting you in the hospital. Of course, that was also futile. Both of you would plan to eat lunch together but as soon as you were in each other’s company, beeps from your pager will end your short bout of joy.

You bombarded Yoongi with texts and voice messages that you’re finally free from the shackles of the said case. This weekend will the first whole break you’ve been rewarded with since last month. You receive a text from him asking if there’s any way you could spend the whole weekend with him in his apartment. You knew what he meant and you can’t deny that there’s a part of you expecting something to happen as well. Come on, you haven’t touched or caressed your boyfriend for almost a month. You’re too deprived and sexually frustrated. This is no time to be shy about it, not that both of you are shy with each other.

“But how about Hoseok? Won’t he be there?” Oh Hoseok. What a beautiful human. You’ve been together with Yoongi for almost a year already, and they’ve been roommates for the same amount of time. The three of you just clicked together ever since the start.

You met Yoongi through a common friend. Didn’t start officially dating one another until two months later. You would always tease him about it because he took so long to ask for a date just because he felt intimidated by you. You were more of a strong-independent and outgoing type of woman and he was quiet and reserved. It took a month before both of you started bringing each other to your respective apartments. There you met Hoseok. It didn’t take much and it felt natural to be friends with him. Maybe because it felt like the both of you were the same side of a coin.

You used to think that Yoongi and Hoseok were two poles opposite from each other, but you soon realize that’s the best thing about the two of them. That’s why you and Yoongi felt perfect for each other as well.

Although you love your boyfriend dearly, you can’t deny that a small bit of you has been attracted to his roommate. Apart from having a lot of similarities with each other, you do feel that sometimes you share the same mind waves as him. One day when Yoongi was so sick, the two of you left work for the day to stay and care for him. You were amazed that Hoseok knew what he was doing and was really frantic if what he was doing was enough. Seeing somebody else care and love your boyfriend this much warms your heart.

You do try to avoid letting your feelings for him grow any further since Yoongi is your soulmate. You could give the world to Yoongi, that’s how much you love him, and it swells your heart to know that he feels the same for you. You won’t do anything to hurt your precious boyfriend. Ruining their friendship is also the last thing on your mind. You just remind yourself to keep your small fire for Hoseok under control or put out, if possible.

“He said don’t worry about it. He’ll find a way to stay out of our way for the weekend.” Pleased with Yoongi’s reply, you can’t stop thinking of various ways to spend your night with your boyfriend.

With that, you arrive at his apartment that night. Yoongi opens the door, greeting you. You dropped the bags in your hands to the floor and jumped to embrace him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around your body. He noticed the fresh smell of your strawberry shampoo, a scent he truly missed.

You start to slowly kiss his neck and soon, you felt his hands grip your waist tighter. “Ummm, kitten?” He does enjoy you pouncing on him as soon as you arrived at his apartment but someone from across the room is eyeing the two of you. Your hands start to comb through his hair when he slightly pushed you, stopping you from teasing Yoongi. “Hoseok is still here.” He turns his head to the direction of his roommate and you followed.

Hoseok sat quietly on the other side of the kitchen counter, sipping his water while staring at the two of you. You straighten out yourself, ashamed at being caught in the act by Hoseok. “Don’t mind me. It’s not like it’s my first time catching the two of you in the act.” He quietly laughs as he took another gulp, completely teasing you.

“Don’t tease her, Hoseok.” Yoongi pats your head as he sees you turn shy at Hoseok’s teasing.

“It’s cute that you let her pounce on you every time she thinks you two are finally alone. So hungry for Yoongi?” Hoseok giggles as you shot a hawkish gaze at him. He gets up and took his bag from the chair beside him as he walks towards the two of you, or rather the door. You glance at the darkness outside the window and at your watch.

“Isn’t it too late for a drive?” You ask Hoseok as he pat your boyfriend goodbye before turning to you.

“I’m fine. Why? You worried about me?” He leans down, eyes meeting yours. He pats your head teasingly and you jokily swat it off. “Besides, aren’t you glad you finally have some alone time? This is my reward to you, little girl.”

“Little girl? I may be smaller but I’m older than the two of you!” Yoongi and Hoseok, focused entirely on your face, watched as you apparently try to make your point.

“Yes, we know kitten, by one year… as you constantly try to remind us.” Yoongi hugs you from behind. “Get on with it. Drive safe!” He hits Hoseok by the arm and they did their handshake. Hoseok also lightly hits your arm before opening the door and walking out, leaving you and your boyfriend finally alone in the apartment.

You both swiftly turn to each other at the same time after the realization that you’re finally alone with each other, amusing the both of you. You let out a smile full of sweetness with eyes almost glistening with longingness for Yoongi.

“I missed you, Yoongi.”

“You don’t how much I missed you too, my kitten.”

That nickname. When was the last time you heard the sound of his voice call you like that? You love it. He apparently can call you that in 100 ways possible. Most of the time, you do love it when he’s screaming it while you overdose him with pleasure.

“Should we watch a movie or something?” You suggest as you turn back to get your bags, carefully grabbing the bag filled with food that you plan to cook for him until tomorrow.

“Pass. I think we should start putting that toy to good use.” Yoongi grumbled in a very low tone as he slowly walked to you, bent forward in front of him. It’s been too long since he had a taste of you. Just by smelling you when you arrived already made him so hard in his pants. He bent down to you letting his body fall on your back. You slowly felt his hands crawl from your shoulders down to your hands. “I’ll be taking that promise now.” His breath brushing past your ear made you wet, shivering from anticipation.

A week ago, you may have promised something to Yoongi. When you’re finally done with the case, you promised him that you’ll allow him to dom you. Usually, it’s been always you who’s taking charge in the bedroom and Yoongi being the sub. You absolutely love seeing your boyfriend submitting to you in the bedroom. Although Yoongi is not really a dedicated sub, he loves it when you tell him that it feels so good acting all your fantasies in the relationship. You were the kinkier and more insatiable one between the two of you so he lets you lead. Tonight, you’ll be giving all the reins to Yoongi so when he knew that you’ll be staying with him this weekend, he texted you the lists of toys to bring.

“What do you want me to do?” You stood up and turned to face him. Yoongi understood what you’re asking of him. You are now submitting to him. His chest starts to swell up inside at finally having the chance to reverse the roles between the two of you.

“Start by calling me Sir.” Yoongi grabbed your chin, lightly tapping your cheeks. You gaze at his hooded eyes, now filled with desire and hunger to dominate you, making you starved to get a taste of him. “Kneel.” He pushed you down by your shoulders as he zips open his pants.

His cock sprung out of his pants, hitting you on the cheek. The enticing smell overwhelmed you. You deeply breathed to inhale his musk as your nose hit the tip of his cock. He gulped at the sight of you hungry for his cock. Your hands wandered towards his member when you heard Yoongi click his tongue. You open your eyes and gazed above. “You’ll only do what I tell you to do, understood?” a more commanding tone vibrated out of Yoongi, slightly surprising you at how he exudes himself right now. He brushed his thumb along your lower lips. “Answer me, kitten.” He tightens his grasp on your chin.

“Yes, sir.” You dropped your hands beside you as you let Yoongi, with his cock in hand, brush himself on your lips.

“Good girl.” He continues to swipe the tip of his cock, smearing his pre-cum on your lips. You hold yourself back from licking him and swallowing him whole. Every fiber of your being is getting impatient and just wants to stuff his cock inside your mouth this instant but a promise is a promise. You just have to wait and let him lead. “Stick out your tongue.”

He relishes the sight of you kneeling down for him, tongue out waiting for his cock. He put both of his hands in front of him against the wall as he aligns his cock in the tip of your tongue. “Purple is our safe word. You understand?” He gazes down at you, nodding enthusiastically.

Not soon after, he starts thrusting his cock so deep inside your mouth. Your head is pushed against the wall along with the rhythm and force of each thrusts. Something about his cock just satisfies you perfectly. The length is just enough to gag you but the girth, oh the girth. It hurts your jaw every time you suck him and if you had too much, you know you’re gonna have a hard time chewing your food tomorrow.

Sloppy sounds from the two of you started to fill up the room. Yoongi continues to bury his cock in your throat. He did stay deep for a few seconds a few times, grinding himself on you as you find difficulty to gasp for air. Tears started welling up in your eyes and Yoongi got concerned. You felt him pull away slightly but you assured him quickly that you’re fine. You know yourself that you won’t use the safe word tonight. You never did get to use it ever with Yoongi.

He gripped your neck, ever so slightly choking you as he pulls you to stand and leads you to the living room couch. He pushed you back to crash down on the soft couch. Quickly and not a second more, he crashed his lips with yours. Overwhelmed by the burning contact that’s long overdue, both of you breathed deeply as you allow each other to get intoxicated. Your hands tightly gripped the coach at both sides, controlling yourself from disobeying Yoongi. His tongue starts to lap at your sweet soft lips and continue to coil its way to your tongue.

Yoongi started moaning as he closed the distance between his crotch and your thighs. You felt him grind himself on you and your thighs started squirming at the sight of Yoongi satisfying himself on you. “Open, kitten.” He pushed your mouth open once more with his thumb. “Look at how hungry my kitten is for me. You’re so good for me.” He spits, letting his spit travel down slowly to your mouth. He chuckles at the sight of you swallowing for him.

“Sir, I want your cock now please?” Your thighs squirmed some more, wiggling while tightly closed together.

Yoongi clicked his tongue once more. “You’ve always been impatient. Always skipping foreplay and straight to fucking.”

“But sir, I’m really hungry for your cock.” You beg and whine.

“Good girls get rewards. Am I right, kitten? I have to prepare you well for what’s in store for tonight.” He bends down as he spreads your legs. Your thighs pushed towards you. He groans when he lifts up your skirt, noticing that you chose to come here without any underwear. He glared at you remembering that if he did not control himself a while ago when you were kissing him when you arrived, he could have lifted your skirt right then with Hoseok still present in the room.

“See? I am always so wet for you Sir. I can take your cock right now.” Your pussy, glistening with juices, further inviting him to devour you. He licks his lips before kissing your inner thigh.

“My kitten. When was the last time you touched yourself?” His breathe tickled your clit just as he let his nose slightly touch your clit. Yoongi sees you attempting to grind yourself to his face, impatient for his touch. You bit your lip as you stare and wait for your boyfriend. “Answer me when I ask you a question.” You gasp at the sudden bite on your inner thigh, soon followed by a warm lick from his feverish wet tongue.

“I have not touched myself for three weeks, sir. I really need your cock now, sir. Please.” You whine as you try to hold back your tears.

“Such a hardworking girl. I see you deserve a big reward.” He pulls the lips of your pussy to the side, making it taut and your clit standing to attention. He quickly swiped his tongue up your slit, finally tasting your juices dripping out from your pussy. He could say all kinds of profanities just from tasting you. You scratched and gripped what was around you at the overwhelming sensation. Yoongi continues to flick his tongue swiftly against your clit, followed by slurping and sucking. You arch your back as your hands finds its place on Yoongi’s hair.

His fingers soon landed on the rim of your pussy. He thrusts two inside very deeply, curling it to find your g-spot. You try to cover your mouth to prevent yourself from screaming at the intense pleasure. You’ve been so deprived of any touch for three weeks that just his tongue is enough to make you cum in seconds. However, you try your best to hold it out.

Yoongi fondles your breast with his hand as he licks your clit, while his other hand never faltering from fucking you. Seeing you lose yourself from his touch is making him drunk. He never saw you this submissive with him. With this, he adds another finger in your pussy. He licks your clit furiously as he sees you desperate to scream louder but you bite your lips to hold back. “Do you want to come, kitten?”

You gaze at him, furiously nodding. Begging to be allowed to reach your high. You see him smirk as he continues to thrust his fingers inside you. A second after, he pulled it all out, leaving you surprised and craving for him to return his fingers inside you. “Not yet. We still have to use this.” He lifts up a metal anal plug. He hands out the toy to let it touch your lips. Your eyes stay glued to him as you let your mouth open, sucking the toy. You see him staring at your mouth, licking his lips at how dirty you look right now.

The metal felt cold as it hits your tongue and teeth. You swirled your tongue around the bulbed end and he pulled it out of your mouth. He quickly pushed it inside your pussy without falter. He pulls it in and out twice to lubricate the toy with your juices before stopping just on the entrance of your ass.

You squirm as you felt the toy slowly stretching your behind. The sensation and stretch is too much for your first time. He doesn’t push everything at once, but slowly pulling it in and out as he slowly lets you adjust. He sees you shaking once he did push the entire plug inside you.

He wiped a strand of hair clinging on your sweaty forehead. Despite looking so fucked out, you’re still the most beautiful person he ever saw. You exchange a few seconds of sweet gazes before he inserted three fingers inside your pussy again while his other hand pulls the plug in and out.

“Oh my fuck… Yoongi. I’m gonna..” You came undone as he increased his speed from fucking you after he sees you writhing in reaching your high. You felt washed over with pleasure, vision hazy and ears ringing.

Yoongi still continued to thrust his fingers and the plug as you slowly finish. A sounding pop came from his fingers pulling out of you. He puts his fingers in his mouth, savoring your sweet taste of ecstasy. He curses, eyes closed, as he relishes the familiar taste.

The plug still within your puckered ass, you crawled back to the couch as you try to chase your breathing. Yoongi proceeds to walk back to the bag you left just near the door and when he came back to you, he pulled out a blindfold and a huge 8 inch pink dildo from your bag and placing it on the table in front of you. Yoongi, now fully naked, stood tall as he beckons you to remove all your clothes. “Stand up and sit down on my cock.”

Yoongi grins as he sees you eagerly standing up and waits for him to sit down. As soon as he sat down, he pats his thigh to gesture you to finally have what you’ve been eagerly waiting for. You turn around and before you sat down, you try to pull out the plug. Yoongi sees this and smacks your ass, granting a whimper from you. “I thought I told you not to do anything unless you’re told to. Keep it in!”

He groans like a beast from behind you as he placed both his hand on your waist. He pulls you down and lets his cock claim your pussy not a moment long. You whimper at the violent stretch and even more so when Yoongi started furiously humping his hips off the couch to fuck you harder. You noodle out sensual and erotic moans as you place your hands behind you and on Yoongi’s chest. “You’re so fucking tight.” He squeezed your waist so hard that the ache lingered when his hands left your skin. “You’re milking me. I won’t last if you’re this tight.” He lets out a guttural groan while he inch closer to your body. He marks you intensely on the crook of your neck. His hands wandered in front of you and tightly squeezed your breasts.

It feels so nice and naughty as you submit to the bliss of your love making. The pain from his rough hands is so gentle yet very shameless as well. He felt like a lion starving for his prey, you, who is presented on a silver platter. Every thrust of his cock feels primal. This reversal of roles is new to both of you but you find yourself finely adjusting.

“Do you want me to fill your ass with my hot…and sticky cum?” He sensually whispers into your ears. You quickly turn intoxicated with his erotic voice, scorching hot inside your chest and seeping wet from your pussy at the thought of him equally fucking your hard from your ass.

“Yes, sir. I would love that.” You turn your face to the side, surprising him with a slow and succulent lick across his lips. You felt like a drug to Yoongi, being this submissive to his every whim and drunk on sex. Something good actually came out from having to part with you for three weeks.

He pushes you off and eyes the anal plug still attached to you. He did not expect you to suddenly shake and cum again after he pulled out the plug. You dropped down with legs buckling, but he caught you in time just before you hit the floor. “Are you okay? Is it too much?” He lets you support yourself, bending forward and hands on the table. He bent down with his chest on your back, cock still erect touching your pussy. You chase your breathing and took your time before you answered him.

“I’m okay baby. Just getting used to this new you.” You giggled as you kiss his cheeks. “I promise to use our safe word if it’s too much.” He laughs as he felt you wiggle your butt on his cock.

“Always hungry for me, kitten?” he lets his hands comb through your hair before pulling it all back. You straighten your back, presenting your ass to him. He holds his cock in his hand, aligning it with your tight puckered muscle. “Put the blindfold and get the dildo, sweet kitten.” He lets go of your hair and allows you to bend forward to get the items he asked. You strap the blindfold on and blindly let your hand wander on the table to get the dildo.

As you were about to stand up back to him, you sense a slow shapely pressure on your ass as Yoongi tries to enter you. The unfamiliar and new stretch had you delirious from the pain and pleasure. You both find yourself breath taken as you wander through uncharted waters. Your tightness from behind is nothing compared to your pussy. If you had known how intense and sweet this was, you would have said yes to Yoongi to try this months ago. Yoongi hesitates to push his entire length on you, still taking his sweet time to let you adjust. However, you're patience is nearing its limit with Yoongi’s pace.

You push yourself back on him towards the couch, letting the both of you crash down. You scream at the intense sudden pain of having his cock rapidly filling you up when you fell on his lap. You lean your head back on his shoulder as he allow your scream to die down.

“How many times have I told you to obey me?” He squeezes your cheek, stealing the dildo from your hands. “I’m in charge here, not you kitten.” Yoongi smacking the dildo on your clit has your squirming and closing your legs. You can’t see anything and every sense you have seems to have heightened. “Remember who’s in charge or else, you’ll be punished.”

He gathers the dildo on the entrance of your pussy, lathering your juices around. “Punish me, baby. I’ve been a very impatient and disobedient girl.” You’ve now adjusted well to his cock. Yoongi saw you grind yourself on him, whining for more.

You hear him deeply chuckle then the dildo swiftly entered you until you felt it hit your womb. You try to suppress your voice and Yoongi felt this so he hooked his two fingers in your mouth, playing with your tongue to allow you to let your moans out. The merciless plunge of his cock in your ass and the unrelenting force of the dildo overwhelmed you. It was insane being fucked full by your boyfriend. You were submitting but you never felt this strong and satisfied when you were the one taking charge. The pain, the pleasure and the raw savageness of helplessness made you feel alive.

You respond to his each thrust with untamed moans, hands wandering on his body. You felt completely exposed and unguarded. “Tell me, kitten…” you continue to yield and moan for him when he whispered erotically in your ear. “Are you imagining somebody else’s cock inside your pussy filling you right now instead of the dildo?”

Your moans disappeared as you try to comprehend your boyfriend’s question. However, he continues to thrust in your ass and pussy, making your mind a mush. “I…”

“I think you have someone in mind and it’s not me, kitten.” His erect cock delved deep inside your ass, frozen from thrusting inside you. Although, he continues to push the dildo in and out with a force so savage, you can feel it bruising the entrance of your womb. “I’ve seen how you look at him. Do you wish that his cock should be the one fucking your pussy full right now?”

He gripped your chin with his other hand as you felt words stuck in your throat. You felt your chest tighten at the sudden confrontation. You don’t know if Yoongi is angry and punishing you right now because you can’t see him. He wouldn’t shame you like this normally so you don’t know if this is just the dirty talk or his true feelings. “Sir, I don’t…” you get caught up in your words as your blindfold is starting to get moist from your impending tears.

“I’m not angry kitten. I just want to hear what you truly feel. Whose cock, aside from mine, should be fucking you right now?”

It took you a while to get the knot out of your chest but you did. “I want Hoseok’s! Hoseok’s cock should be fucking me hard right now in the pussy while you destroy my ass!” You screamed. Yoongi slows the pace of the dildo in your pussy and pulls it out. You slumped on him, hungry for a reaction from your boyfriend. The blindfold is not helping the turmoil inside your chest. You want to face him and look straight at him to understand what kind of face he might be making right now.

“Good kitten.” He groaned from behind as he take the blindfold off you. You pry open your eyes, adjusting to the light. A naked figure stood in front of you as you rub your eyes to register the sight. Hoseok was standing tall in front of you and Yoongi, naked in all his glory and stroking his cock.

You jump slightly in your place but Yoongi pushes you back down, granting a sensual quiet moan from you since his cock is still deep in your ass. “Hoseok?!?....Why is he here?”

“This is your reward, little girl.” He continues to stroke his cock in front of you, smugly smirking to look at your boyfriend.

“It’s okay, kitten. I know you want this too.” Yoongi placed his chin on your shoulder as you’re still staring at Hoseok’s face. You turn to your boyfriend and you both stare at each other for a few seconds. You try to read his eyes, unsure if you’re really allowed to finally act on your feelings

“I don’t want to do this if you don’t, baby…” He sensed your panic so he cupped your cheeks to kiss you. A slow and sweet exchange of your lips made you understand that he really is letting you go ahead. He parts with your lips and sweetly gazed at you.

“I want this as well. Go ahead.” Yoongi nods his head to Hoseok, prompting you to allow yourself to submit to both of them. “This is okay. Take care of our girl, Hoseok. I trust you both.” You face Hoseok, who’s still furiously pumping himself to you. With the permission of his older roommate, Hoseok now shamelessly takes in your naked figure as he licks his lips.

He’s been wanting this for so long as well. He developed feelings for Yoongi first, when they became roommates. He’s been so good at hiding it not until Yoongi introduced you to him. At first, he was jealous and irritated whenever you would visit and stay at their apartment. The longer you spent time with Hoseok, he also found himself loving you. Hearing you come undone and screaming with Yoongi every night with just a wall separating him from the two of you was brutal. He loved you both, wanting to touch you and Yoongi as well. He was determined to keep it all a secret up until when Yoongi confronted him.

Yoongi suspected Hoseok has feelings for you with how he acted every time you were with the two of them. Of course, he felt something from you as well. Being quiet and reserved meant that he was very good at reading everybody else’s expressions and feelings. He was proven right when Hoseok confessed with his feelings towards you when he tried to confront him. He was taken by surprise though when Hoseok confessed to loving him as well. He didn’t expect it but also didn’t dislike it. Maybe something in him also feels something for his younger roommate. They did talk it out and came to a conclusion to talk to you about it. Yoongi was the one who initiated the surprise threesome. Hoseok wasn’t on board with it at first but now that you’re here, he’ll accept everything even if you reject him.

You let your lust and feelings take over you. You wait for either of them to command you. Hoseok sees your eyes change from reluctant to now willing to submit to him. He takes it as your acceptance of him. He groans as he walks closer to you, cock in your face. His cock smelled amazing. You take in the unfamiliar yet enticing smell as you sniff his shaft, granting a groan from the two males at the sight of you.

“Suck me now, little girl.” You opened your mouth to invite him in. Hoseok leans his head back as euphoria hits him from the satisfaction of having your warm and wet mouth capture his cock. His cock was different from Yoongi. He’s not as girthy as your boyfriend but the length is amazing. Your mouth is already full but there’s still enough left for your hand to play with. “Fuck, I can’t handle this. You feel amazing.” Hoseok wraps his hands on your hair as he started to furiously rock deep inside your mouth. You could feel him reach your throat. Your moans, now muffled by the huge cock occupying your mouth. Hoseok could come apart right there at the sight of your throat bulging from his cock and from the vibrations of your throat as you try to moan loudly, when Yoongi started tapping Hoseok’s hand away from your head.

“I said take care of her, not kill her.” Hoseok loses his hold on your head when he heard Yoongi as he pulled out of your mouth. You gagged and coughed but you swat your hands at them.

“Yoongi, I’m fine. I actually like it.” You swipe the drool off your lips and turned to face your boyfriend. “I’m not using my safe word, am I? So get on with it and fuck my ass full!” Yoongi and Hoseok, surprised at your outcry and commanding tone, just went quiet.

“I didn’t hear you calling him Sir, did I?” Hoseok grabbed your chin and lightly slapped you. “Did he allow you to take over? No! You’re our slut tonight so just obey us.” You were taken aback at Hoseok’s change in demeanor. You were a dom to Yoongi, but Hoseok felt different. You shiver in your place, unfamiliar with the feeling of fear from disobeying the sultry man in front of you. With Yoongi, you were willing to act as a sub tonight but it felt like you were really a sub to Hoseok.

All you do was agree as he slaps you once more in the cheek. It was not painful as you imagined. You know Hoseok still cared for you and wouldn’t really hurt you so you find yourself relaxing under Yoongi, waiting patiently for Hoseok to now command the two of you under him. “Fuck her hard, Yoongi, so that she knows her place. I’ll make sure to fill her pussy to the brim.” He licks his lips as both you and Yoongi stare at the dominant male.

Yoongi started to lunge his hips towards you, bouncing you on his lap. You scream at the pleasant sensation of being fucked in the ass. You see Hoseok smirking as he lines his cock at your pussy. Slowly, you felt him open up your walls as he continue to plunge his erect and long member. Hoseok gently bites and licks your shoulder as he tries his best not to come apart from the wonders of your pussy. It was heavenly. Filthy moans, your bodies tangled with each other, and sloppy sounds from their cocks entering you filled the room. You three were drunk from the pleasure, frenzy mushing your heads making you groggy.

You wrapped your hands around Hoseok’s back, pulling him towards you. Hoseok, surprised at the sudden proximity of his face with Yoongi, avoids eyes contact as he continue to fuck your pussy hard. Yoongi chuckled at the sight of his younger roommate getting shy despite being so commanding with you and him a while ago. He placed a peck on Hoseok’s forehead. Hoseok turned to Yoongi, now cheeks burning caused by the sweet kiss. They stared at each other, Yoongi sweetly smiling at him and Hoseok smiling at the feeling of being accepted by Yoongi as well.

You pull Hoseok’s face to yours, breaking their small moment. “I want to be filled, sir.” You gaze at him with eyes hooded. Hoseok realized that you’ve gone far off now and all he wants is to satisfy you.

“Little girl deserves her reward.” He looked at Yoongi and soon after, both of them pounded into you furiously. Overwhelming sensation from being full from both holes, Hoseok painfully fucking your pussy up up to the entrance of your womb, and Yoongi fully stretching your ass out. You scream as you let yourself in your bliss. You exploded from the ecstasy brought on by the two men you truly care and love. Yoongi and Hoseok moaned and squeezed their hands on you as they felt you squeeze down on them, milking them to reach their own orgasm.

You twist, still glued to them, as you felt their warm liquid fill you up from the front and behind. The three of you, panting, as all of you let your orgasm finish. Still twined with each other, you hugged Hoseok tightly before he parts from you.

“Are you okay? You came three times, you must be exhausted. I’ll prepare a bath for the both of you.” Hoseok quickly ran back to the bathroom, disappearing from the living room.

Yoongi lifts you up to stand, pulling his cock out your ass. He lets out another groan as he sees you leaking with both of their cum. You truly look filthy right now, but his heart won’t stop pounding in his chest as he take in your beautiful face. He swipes the leaking cum off your thigh and he pulls you back on the couch. He places his fingers coated with cum in your mouth. You willingly suck it clean, tasting the mixture of Yoongi and Hoseok on you. He examines you as you breathe deeply, trying to relax post-coitus.

“Wow. Baby. If I had known how fun it is to see you take charge, I would have let you do it occasionally. Also, that was awesome.” You hug Yoongi as you place your legs across his thighs.

“Are you okay? It was not too much, was it?” Yoongi wipes the sweat off your forehead.

“I’m fine, baby.” You placed your lips on him, intimately. You want him to feel your happiness and ultimately, your intense love for him. “So what does this mean? With Hoseok?”

“I know you love him and he does too. I’ve been suspecting it for a while now. I just waited for either of you to talk to me.” Yoongi tucks in your hair behind your ear.

“But I love you more. You’re the one I want the most.” You quickly rebut him, careful as not to hurt him with any of your words.

“I know, kitten. Trust me, I do love you both too and it makes me happy seeing the two of you together too.”

“But he’s your friend...”

“I love him too, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Hoseok suddenly appeared in the room. “I won’t force myself between the two of you. I’ll go wherever you want me to stay in this relationship. I’m happy with just the two of you knowing how I feel.” He stands straight at the edge of the living room, hesitant to walk further and respecting the current situation.

You turn to Yoongi and silently stared at each other. You quickly understood what this meant. Your heart felt huge and swollen at the amount of love you’re now receiving. You’re loved by Yoongi and Hoseok.

“Come here, Hobi.” You gesture him to come closer and he did, smiling enthusiastically as he knew that the both of you are now accepting him and willing to share each other.

“I love you both!” Hoseok crashed down on both of you, granting a loud giggle from you while Yoongi smiled silently.

No reward can ever top this one. Surely, the night is still young.

#bts yoongi x reader #bts jhope x reader #bts SOPE smut #bts sope #yoongi x hoseok x reader #bts fanfic #bts smut fanfic #bts hoseok x reader

[absconditum-imaginaerum]

Hyunjae | Vulnerable Words | 18.7K Genre | Fluff, Angst, Mutual Pining Notes | Female!Reader x The Boyz Hyunjae, Post College AU. Mentions of alcohol, threats, unhealthy relationships, cursing.  A whole shared brain written piece of work; Rainah and I wrote such eerily similar stories without the other’s knowledge, and here’s my rendition. This is a work of fiction, and any depictions of actions, behaviors, thoughts, and personalities of characters used in this story do not reflect reality.  Summary |  Hyunjae’s been gone for six years, leaving his family and friends behind to escape some painful feelings. Once returning, he realizes that those six years did nothing to help his feelings, and after running into you again, he’s convinced they’ll never go away, and that you’ve felt the same way all along.

Hyunjae hadn’t spent a summer vacation—or any vacation for that matter—in his hometown since leaving for college. He couldn’t place exactly what drew him back, but his parents were ecstatic when he arrived with a suitcase in hand and a shy expression on his face, hoping he still had somewhere to stay, even unannounced, with them. There was an air about his hometown that felt like a sea breeze on his face, like a breath of fresh air, a familiarity he couldn’t seem to find anywhere else.  

His mother welcomed him with open arms, always thrilled to see her little boy, especially when she was never quite sure when she would see him again outside their visits to him. A fresh face he was surprised, but happy, to see was his older sister’s. She gave him a warm smile, waiting for her turn to embrace him after finally getting past their mother.

“You’ve been gone so long, you know,” she said to him. An explanation was queued in his throat transitorily just to hum in response, but for a moment just being welcomed by his family was calming.

“I always have classes in the summer and winter, and it’s a long way for a couple of days,” he explained. His father knew his ambitions, always studying extra hard at school, and was always encouraged to join extracurriculars or take more classes if he could—so he did.

“So, then, what made you take this summer off?” she asked.

It was an inevitable question he knew would be asked, but no matter how many times he thought to himself about the reason, he couldn’t come up with one other than he felt like he should, like he wanted to, like something was calling him back. Unable to answer, he shrugged it off before trekking up the stairs of a house he once called his.

Hyunjae got settled into his old room. Most of the things he didn’t take to college or didn’t ask to be kept were gone, and his bed was a full instead of a twin now, which must have meant that they used his room for guests—which he now was. For a brief moment, he sat on his bed, taking in the reality of actually being back in his hometown and seeing his family for the first time outside of FaceTime in a while. All the trinkets and pictures he’d asked his mom to save glimmered and glowered at him—maybe it was time to go through them to see what he wanted to get rid of. He reached over and gently plucked a silver frame from the dresser which encased a picture of himself and a girl he knew from a long time ago: his childhood best friend.  

Hyunjae thought about you often, about what you were doing, if school had treated you well and how your family was— you both were that type of friends, the type that was close with the other’s family, the type whose families were basically your own.  After moving away, he’d thought about you a lot through college in many lights; the good and the bad.

It was late enough in the evening that fifteen minutes into feeling nostalgic about his old life and friendships made it to dinner time. He was almost startled by the way his mom softly knocked on the frame of his door to alert him that dinner was ready, and although he didn’t feel overly hungry, he wouldn’t refuse mom’s homemade cooking or dare not sit down with them at the very least.  

The evening wasn’t eventful, mostly just catching his family up on what life has been like for the time he’d been away, and similarly asked about things going on around there—about how much it had changed and become more accommodating to the younger crowd and how things had shifted around and all of the infrastructure that had been built. It was so much busier than he’d last remembered, with new shopping strips of immaculate and fingerprint-less glass storefronts with fancy chrome polished doors and neon signs that lit up the night; new bars and restaurants popping up in more populated areas he’d only glazed over while in the back of a ride-share on the way to his parent’s home.  

His family stayed up much later than they had back before he left for college—he only knew because it was unusual for him to be tired before the rest of them, but when he took a peek at the clock, registering quarter to twelve, he was surprised.

“You’ve had a long day of travels, you don’t have to stay up for us,” Hyunjae’s mother commented, resting a hand against her son’s shoulder to bring him back to life, somewhat, as he was dozing off a bit in the corner of the couch. After moving to get up he gave her a soft smile, bid his family goodnight, and headed back to his room.  

The bed and sheets were different, but somehow the way they slid over his body, the cool sheets meeting the warmth of his skin, something about it felt like home. Maybe it was the familiarity of the shape of his room, of the same furniture in the same spots, some trinkets still here and there he had fond memories of, or the comfort of the pillows that he sunk into like a sack of bricks. Maybe he really just was that tired from traveling and the somewhat mental exhaustion of being back and still not understanding what brought him here that any old bed may have felt like this. Despite that, he couldn’t help but glance over to the picture he was hanging on to previously. You both had just graduated high school in the picture, hanging on each other with playful smiles donning your caps and gowns. He wondered what you looked like now because he knew he looked quite a bit different.

Then he began to wonder if you ever thought about him, about how once he left for college the two of you quickly stopped talking... And now that he was thinking about it, he wondered if the number in his phone was even still your number.

Audibly sighing, he rolled onto his side to face away from the dresser from which that photograph was glowering at him, or so it felt. He closed his eyes and pressed his head deep into the pillow, tucking the sheets under his arm so just enough chill of the air conditioning would make it comfortable and somehow, despite his racing thoughts, he fell asleep.  

Three days of summer ‘vacation’ went by agonizingly slowly, but he’d gotten the opportunity to look around some new shops that had popped up around the area with his sister before he was looking at your number in his contacts. Was it even worth reaching out to you? Would you even want to see him? Surely if he was having these feelings, there was a chance that maybe you were feeling them, too. So, as he sat across a bistro table from his sister after ordering lunch, his finger hovered over the message button before typing something quickly so he couldn’t change his mind.

An immediate notification came back from his service provider, notifying him that the number he had messaged was no longer in service, but that didn’t seem to ease his tension any as he looked back at the message with a displeased expression—shockingly upset in a way even he couldn’t understand.  

“Who are you secretly texting under the table?” Hyunjae’s sister asked, not even remotely distracted with her food enough to not notice.

Hyunjae sighed, there was no reason to lie—it didn’t even really matter at this point, all hopes of him contacting you had been thwarted by the fact that you’d changed your number who even knew how long ago.

“An old friend from a long time ago, but their number is disconnected,” he replied with a sigh and all but tossed his phone against the rustic wood table, finally turning to his flavored tea for the first sip since it had arrived, and already their food was there. “I haven’t seen her since we both left for separated colleges… I figured if I was going to be here, it might be worth seeing her if she was still around.”

She looked at him for a moment; one name clicking in her mind right away and without thinking blurted it out. Hyunjae turned his gaze away from his plate, trying to wrangle his appetite, and up to his sister. Your name almost hurt him to speak out loud, but his look only confirmed his sister’s suspicions.

“Her family still lives around the corner, their old house…” she trailed off, trying not to step on any toes if there were toes to be stepped on, “I’m sure her mom would like to see you, she asks about you a lot.”

“Mom never told me that,” Hyunjae replied, appetite completely out the window that his point even if he picked around at the side of fruit on his plate.

“At the very least, you might be able to ease yourself about it.”  

So, after a few more days of hanging around at home, helping his mom with some shopping, and exploring his some-what forgotten town with his sister, he pulled on a light jacket after dinner and announced he was going for a walk. His sister gave him a knowing look, almost promising she wouldn’t say where he was going as he stepped into his shoes and left out the front door. The way to your house was emblazoned in his mind, he knew it like the back of his hand—it was close and he couldn’t even count the number of times he’d been there over the years.

The yard was the same, littered with beautiful flowers as it always had been—your mother had a knack for gardening. All the flora was nicely groomed while the outside lights illuminated the walk-way a pale yellow color that glowed in the twilight air.  He approached the door, a tight knot in his stomach; he hadn’t even planned anything to say to you, if you happened to be there, which almost made him turn back if he hadn’t already pressed the bell, listening to it chime loudly through the house before a quiet voice called back.

Hyunjae shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he listened to the locks turn before the door opened to a woman he was so familiar with, a woman who didn’t look a day older than when he’d last seen her at his high school graduation. A soft smile pulled at his lips, and his eyes softened just looking at her.  She smiled back, although there was a glint in her eyes that told him that she wasn’t quite sure who he was.

“Can I help you?” she asked politely.

Hyunjae’s smile faded a bit, but not enough to drop from his face.

“I’m here to see my second family, after being gone for six years,” he replied gently, hoping that was enough.

She shook her head as her gaze cast away from him, which inevitably resulted in the smile dropping from Hyunjae’s face.

“Six years pass and your son from another family doesn’t even call you mom anymore,” she teased him as her eyes came back up to meet his disappointed gaze. “You’ve gotten so tall over the years, Hyunjae.”

His smile struggled to come back, and all he knew was the warmth of her embrace as she stepped just outside the door to wrap her arms around him. “I ask about you all the time, your mother always tells me how busy you’ve been and that you don’t even come to visit them.”

Somehow it made him feel guiltier coming from your mom than his own mom—maybe that was because his dad was always chirping in the background about studying hard, about how they’d always be there for him to come back when he was ready. His hands slowly pulled out of his pockets to embrace her back with words caught in his throat, a poor excuse of an explanation about why he hadn’t come back. It didn’t matter, the thought of you loomed in the back of his mind like a bad dream, and, as if her intuition could still reach him…

“She’s out at work tonight. Would you like me to let her know you dropped by?”

Now he was really on the spot. He could feel a shiver shoot down his spine and he thought about just asking for your phone number, but that felt like too much of a hassle. His hands shook a bit, and he was sure your mom could hear the way his heart raged against the cage of his chest just trying to come up with a response to a simple yes or no question.

“Yes, please,” he finally blurted, but it sounded unsure, there was no conviction. She reeled back to get a good look at his face, to see the nerves all over it, to see the frustration knitted in his brow.

“She asks me about you, which is half the reason I ask about you. When your mom said you never come around for holidays—”

“I wish she’d called me,” he interrupted; but did he mean it?

“You both were busy! She didn’t want to bother you—if you weren’t coming home for vacation, she figured you were doing other things. I’ll let her know you stopped by, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to hear that you’re in visiting for a bit.”

Hyunjae slowly nodded and allowed your mom to return inside and bid him goodnight before he was turning away on autopilot. A million things were running through his mind—the most important seemed to be what would he say to you when he finally did see you again for the first time? He couldn’t even come up with something good to say even on the spot with you potentially answering the door to your childhood home. For certain he knew that he would be standing there, looking like a fool, stuttering for quite some time—he had no doubt you’d just look at him with that same patient look whenever he couldn’t come up with the right words for you.  

After returning, he didn’t have too much to say as he headed up to his room, the same thoughts cycling his mind like a cropped film reel, but it wasn’t distracting enough to stop him from grabbing that same silver-framed photo of the two of you and plopped on his bed to look at it, hoping it would inspire some things to say.

At least he’d have three days before seeing you, finally, but it was fairly unexpected. His family was just getting ready to sit down to eat when there was a knock on the door. As the youngest and spryest, Hyunjae stood from the table to allow his family to start eating, but they were just as curious. An awkwardness loomed the moment his eyes met yours after tugging the door open; of course, he didn’t recognize you, really—it had been a good chunk of time since he last saw you.

“Sorry, maybe I’m at the wrong house,” you tried, a plate of baked goods in your hands as you looked back at Hyunjae before taking a step back to look at the address. There was a screech of a chair across the floor as it was being pushed out, followed by another one before the doorway was crowded by his sister and mother who greeted you enthusiastically. It didn’t take long for you to come to the ultimate conclusion.

Your eyes shot back to Hyunjae’s, who was still looking at you despite all of the commotion coming from around him which inevitably pushed him out of the way of the doorway. Somehow the plate was coaxed out of your hand with a million questions being asked about it and you were being tugged into the house with insistence that you join them for dinner. You couldn’t answer, your gaze remained locked with Hyunjae until the both of them realized that he was your primary focus, and quickly the chatter stopped and silence took over again.

“Well, aren’t you going to say something to her?” his sister asked, prompting him to come somewhat back to life and he shook his head, swallowing hard, but still nothing was in there to say—he wasn’t sure what to say, so he settled with your name.  There was a burning within your face that you couldn’t contain, and couldn’t help the way your eyes trailed away from his face.

“Hyunjae… it’s been so long, I didn’t even recognize you,” you finally said, but still didn’t feel comfortable just yet looking back up at him.

Hyunjae swallowed the knot in his throat, and after some prompting from his sister in the background, finally found something good to say.

“Would you… would you please stay for dinner with us?” he asked. You could feel the nerves in the shakiness of his voice, and in the half-step he took towards you which you could only see because you were looking at his feet. “There’s plenty, and you’re not a bother, and… to be honest, I tried messaging you the other day, but I don’t have your number anymore and I went to your mom’s and—”

“I’ll stay,” you replied, finally finding the heart to look up at him with a soft genuine smile. You could hear his sister and mom behind you, but still, you were focused on the grown-up boy in front of you, who had grown so tall since you’d last seen him—you weren’t even heighted anymore. Hyunjae pulled out your chair at the table and got you a plate and some utensils. Naturally, he placed you between him and his sister where you usually sat when you stayed with them for dinner when you were younger.

Conversation ensued quickly between you and the rest of Hyunjae’s family since you were still far more familiar with them. You settled in next to Hyunjae again, and although there was a lot to talk about, a lot to catch up on between the two of you, you enjoyed the fact that the rest of the family was breaking the awkwardness and allowing you and Hyunjae to chime in when appropriate.

The conversation was mostly about you, about school, about how life had been since leaving for college since you and Hyunjae had pretty much broken contact by the end of the first semester. Honestly, it broke both your hearts a little bit, and you could feel the stinging of those same pieces even now. Hyunjae told you what your mom said, about you not wanting to call him, and all of the subsequent lack of communication that led to your complete separation. Conversation seemed to flow a bit more freely between the two of you again, deep somewhere there was an understanding about the hurt that the split caused the both of you. Unfortunately, after that, dinner went quickly and although it wasn’t getting too late, you felt like you needed to go.

“Thank you for the lovely dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Lee, inviting me in so unannounced,” you began, and then addressed Hyunjae’s sister and then Hyunjae.

“It’s always a pleasure to have you over, dear,” Mrs. Lee commented with that same full smile she always had. She always made you feel like a part of the family, like her own daughter.

“Let me walk you home,” Hyunjae offered.

“It’s not far,” you reminded him.

“It’s late and I don’t want you to go by yourself,” he insisted.  

He could see the fight in your eyes, the same fight from the number of years ago when he’d say the same thing, when he’d walk you home no matter how much you insisted it wasn’t necessary. The way you dug in was noticeable, preparing to stand your ground against him because, who was he to be so concerned as someone who left? And maybe that was the wrong mindset to have about him because you could feel, even in the way he looked at you, that he still cared for you.

Hyunjae gave you that look where his gaze got a little more tender and there was an almost unnoticeable raise of his brows and a head flick towards the door. It had you swallowing hard, barely even noticing the silence before it was interrupted.

“Please, Hyunjae will walk you home! It’s safer that way!” Hyunjae’s sister chimed in and took a hold of your arm to bring you back to earth. You looked at her, blinking a few times before reluctantly nodding. She gave you a tight squeeze, reminding you how good it was to see you and to not be a stranger because she would always be around and Hyunjae was home for the whole summer.  

Out of old habit, Hyunjae extended his elbow to you, and, to avoid being overly awkward, you took it, but not without looking up at him questioningly as he was pulling you out of the door. You walked slowly side by side once getting off the initial porch of his parent’s home, and he reached over to cup over your hand to keep it from slipping away.

“If you don’t mind too much…” he trailed off, asking you to keep your hand around his arm as he escorted you to your home. He didn’t look at you, even when you looked up at him. It was okay, though, because you could hear something in his voice that pained you a bit, so you tightened your grip around his bicep as you moseyed along the sidewalk. The street lamps provided dim light, barely enough to see the cracks in the slabs of concrete. Admittedly, you felt better that he was walking you home anyway—ever since all of the development in the area, it somehow felt less safe year after year that you’d come home for the summer or winter.  

Hyunjae was silent the entirety of the walk; the only noise he did make was an occasional rough exhale of a somewhat held breath, and in the off chance that you attempted to sneak a peek of him from the corner of your eye you could see his chest contract with that exhale. Then, you were under the familiar light of your home’s porch before you were ready. You knew the walk was only a couple of blocks, but you’d hoped there was more time with the pace at which you were walking. There was so much stuck in your throat that you wanted to say, so much that probably wouldn’t ever come out unless he spoke first; but it looked like there was little to no intention.  

You could feel his bicep flex under your hand, his whole body tensing up next to you as he took another rickety breath. With your eyes still cast down at the ground, you turned your head to him before your gaze fluttered up his chest to his throat and eventually his face; he had gotten so much taller since leaving. The numbers of your address next to it seemed to scrutinize him before he swallowed hard. Hyunjae carefully peeled your hand away from his arm and held onto it as he helped you up the step onto your actual porch landing.

“Hyunjae,” you tried as you turned to face him—leaving in complete silence seemed incomprehensible, unimaginable.

“I’m sorry,” he replied quietly, but his gaze was still cast to the side of you. “I guess just actually seeing you, actually sitting down with you at the table with my family like old times just…opened wounds I didn’t know were there…”

The tone in his voice and the look in his distant gaze was like putting salt in the wounds you knew were there, you knew had been there for years. It took a few moments of silence, but his eyes eventually found yours. He looked at you with a tenderness you’d never seen out of him before, and of course, over six years there was a lot of growing and a lot of changes, but this particular look put knots in your stomach, unlike anything you had ever felt before.

“I think if we’re going to do any mending, that’s a talk we need to have,” you answered, finally noticing the way his hand lingered in yours, the way it had been for the last few moments that you hadn’t registered his fingers playing with yours.

The moment his gaze turned away from yours again, you took a step forward and your hand left his to turn his chin back towards you. “That means you can’t run away again,” you reminded him, as if his first departure away to college was him running away in the first place.

He nodded in your soft grip, but you could see the way his brow ached to draw together.

“Go home, sleep on it, get the right words… we’ll talk,” you told him, hands both dropping back to your sides.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, but this time you weren’t sure what for. Just as you were about to turn towards your door to leave him, he took you around the middle and dragged you into him, hulling you up against his firm chest as his arms tightened against you. Initially, you were surprised. The audacity, but also the guts it took to pull you into a hug when he was stumbling over his words like a dancer with two left feet. Your hands ghosted up his arms, slowly feeling his frame—tall and warm against your own—before your arms draped across his shoulders. Your head was turned to the side, pressed against his collar turned inwards towards the center, and, much to your own surprised, you relished the hug like home. This felt akin to the hug he gave you before you both departed to your separate cities, vowing that he would maintain contact which quickly disintegrated. Honestly, it had tears pricking at your eyes like you were saying goodbye all over again, but also releasing the gates on the emotions you’d stowed away for all those years with no thoughts that he’d ever come back.

His breathing was now even more noticeably rickety with your head pressed up against his chest. A few more times he apologized, still for reasons you weren’t aware of, and squeezed you even tighter for just a moment longer before he was finally releasing you.

“I’ll wait until you’re inside,” he said as you stepped back from him, and even still he wouldn’t look right at you.

“Go home safely,” you replied, stepping backward until your back unceremoniously hit your front door. You were pawing at the handle, watching him wait for you until you finally popped the door to let yourself inside. “Goodnight, Hyunjae,” you added.

“Goodnight,” he replied, and your gaze finally met his before you turned to close him away from you.

--

Hyunjae spent the next couple of days mulling over your brief conversation about a conversation that still was yet to be had. It was up to him to find you when he was ready; obviously, he had a lot to say to you which would undoubtedly be coupled with a bit of stumbling around for the correct words, no matter how many days he had to think about it.  

At least, he attempted to think about it. He slowly kicked his way down the river-front walkway to the dock where you used to play around as kids. The river-front was full of all kinds of neat little local mom and pop shops that gave life to the town, especially when the sun was setting in spring or fall when it gleamed off the river just right and an array of purples and oranges and all the colors in between painted the sky so beautifully. It used to be an empty area, abandoned commercially with the docks left to be perfect ground to play pretend as kids.

He remembered the dock fondly as he stepped off the concrete path and onto the surprisingly preserved wooden boards that looked like they had been sanded and re-varnished recently. Maybe the dock was still in use for smaller boats, or maybe those people who owned the river-front stores kept it looking nice for tourism purposes. Either way, he was happy, because that meant he had to worry less about splinters.

The tide was out, so there was plenty of room for Hyunjae to dangle his legs off the side of the dock as he took a seat, looking out to the glittering seawater which was reflecting the aforementioned sunset colors. He recalled all the fond memories he had of this particular dock with you—it was where you spent most of your time together playing pirates and other silly little kids games and remembered one time very vividly when he was roughhousing a little too much and you ended up tumbling off the dock into the water. He was lucky his older sister was there to pull you out—you were maybe six or seven at the time; he remembered how bad he felt, how many times he profusely apologized and the way you smiled about it, laughed about it even and gave him a hard time for being too concerned. Looking back on it, he wouldn’t have changed anything.

Incessantly he gnawed at his bottom lip, doing a little more thinking of the way things used to be and less thinking about what he would say to you when the inevitable conversation came. Maybe he’d benefit from playing through his memories, and he would have continued to think of them if there wasn’t an iced drink being shaken right next to his ear.

He jumped, a bit startled by the sound, and looked over to a stout iced coffee being handed to him and followed the arm up to your face, where you smiled at him jovially with the straw of your own coffee comfortable between your lips.

“Did you know I would be here?” he asked you and tenderly took the coffee from you and scooted over to make a bit of room for you to sit next to him. You plopped down, hanging your legs off the side of the dock the same way his were for a moment, examining your coffee as you stirred it.

“I had a hunch… and then I stopped by your house,” you told him, implying that they had told you that he went for a walk, but how many places could he possibly go in a city that wasn’t his anymore.

“I’m not ready to have the talk,” he replied quickly as to not get your hopes up about it.

“That’s okay,” you said, “we don’t have to talk about that, we can talk about anything. Or we don’t have to talk at all.”

“But you bought me a coffee—”

“I could see you from the shop,” you laughed, referencing the river-front shop maybe fifty yards away.

Hyunjae just nodded, still too nervous to even look at you again since taking the coffee from you in the first place. He hadn’t even tasted it, just continued to spin the ice around the clear plastic cup as condensation built up on its sides before finally mustering the courage to thank you for the coffee.

A few moments of silence passed--if he didn’t have anything to say, that was fine, but you wouldn’t be the one to force conversation as you kicked your feet back and forth and continued to sip on your coffee. You found the nerves fluttering around in your stomach were also making it hard to look at him, which probably benefitted him anyway.

You wouldn’t, and couldn’t, blame him for being closed off, and gave him a pass for a couple of days ago, the affection and openness after the first time seeing you; the well of emotions was hard to ignore especially when the two of you used to be so close. But now that he had a few days to settle in, a few days to think about that… a different tune was expected. The imminent conversation that loomed in the background of both your minds (perhaps at the forefront of his) was only exacerbating the awkwardness you stewed in.

“Do you want me to go?” you asked after a moment; you had, after all, been the one to come second. It was his dock if he wanted it.

“No, I’m sorry. A million things are running through my mind, and I’m just trying to not say something stupid,” he replied, and finally, the blood rushing through him gave him enough adrenaline, faux confidence, to turn his head just enough to peer at you from the corner of his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to make this trip so hard on you—”

“It’s not you, it’s me. It’s one hundred percent me, and that’s the part I’m grappling the hardest with. I just…” He sighed, taking a moment to compose himself as he ran his free hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead just to let it flutter back into place. “You must hate me, for treating you the way I did. For never bothering to check in with you, or even come back. For just leaving you behind like you were nothing.”

His words stung, indubitably. Although that was the fact of the matter, you’d always tried to make excuses for him, but when he gave it to you in total plainness, you understood his feelings a bit better.

“I was afraid to go, and part of me felt like I would be better off if I just… forgot about here and everything with it.” He paused for a moment, biting that bottom lip harder than ever before, and stifled a growl deep in his throat when he finally clenched his teeth together. “I’m sorry, for being such a… freaking jerk!” His voice raised volume at the end of his sentence, emphasizing the way he assumed you felt about him because that was how he felt about him.  “There’s so much more I want to say to you but I just don’t… I don’t have the right words yet.”

He took a deep swig of his coffee to try to cool himself off after winding himself up, but it was mostly so he’d shut up before saying anything else harmful because he could already feel the shift in your aura that wasn’t so jovial anymore. Admittedly, his words clawed at the metaphorical stitch job over your wounds, pulling hard at the threads that closed them up, and you could taste a bit of that initial pain resurfacing. Emotionally, you didn’t want to have that coming conversation, but logically you knew that if you were going to heal completely about each other that it was entirely necessary.    

“Thank you for being vulnerable with me,” you finally said after a few moments of silence. You knew how much it took to get just even that out, the amount of pride he undoubtedly had to push aside to admit fault in the first place. The fact that he openly admitted he was afraid was somehow unlike the Hyunjae you used to know.  

He couldn’t even look at you again and took another sip of his coffee to effectively polish off the small cup before he discarded it to the side you sat on. Gingerly, you collected it intending to throw it away when you left, guessing it would be before him. The silence that loomed between you had you able to hear the way his fingernails scratched against the fresh varnish of the dock in frustration.

“Why are you even sitting here with me? I wouldn’t even have the patience to talk to me until it was time to hear me grovel at your feet about what a piece of shit I was and how I don’t even deserve you to still be in my life anyway and that it was foolish of me to even go to your house, to begin with, and—”

“Stop,” you interrupted, maneuvering both cups to one hand somehow just so you could set your now free hand down on top of his to squeeze it.  

“But I just—”

“Hyunjae, stop!” you pleaded, and he’d finally turned to look you in the eye, entirely, for the first time since you sat down. “You’re not a piece of shit—”

“Only that could possibly do to you what I did; a spineless and weak little—”

“Enough!” you begged—now he was just making you angry, but only because you were hurt with the way he beat himself up harder than you ever would; that was something you found familiar about him.  “You know I don’t think that!”

“Don’t sit here and lie to my face like this,” he almost growled. “I know what I did to you, and I would hate me—”

“Great, but you’re not me,” you fired back with matched ferocity, and so you exchanged your look between his eyes, noting the way they shimmered amber reflecting the sunset light off the water, noting the way they looked at you with such intensity, while trying to stave the tears that were pushing against his waterline. There was a bubbling against your throat, words you knew you didn’t want to say that burned like wildfire. You continued to switch between his eyes, knowing the things queued weren’t going to help the situation in any way and so, to avoid saying something you knew you’d regret, and since you knew he wouldn’t stop pushing you, you pushed up from the dock and took his empty plastic cup with you to leave him with the burn of your hand on top of his and that distinct lack of your gaze into his eyes.

Then, and only then, did the tears that threatened have room to fall. His nails scraped against the dock even harder as he clenched his fist, still able to feel the warmth of your hand on top of his as he stared through the ghost of your presence. His jaw was tight, and his tears were hot—they were angry, frustrated, discontent but not with you. The wounds were deeper than he thought, still more tender than he thought, and all that led him to a harsh conclusion—the final talk would be even worse hell than he initially imagined.  

__

A few days away from each other allowed for a bit of cooling off. Hyunjae drafted a few notes of things he wanted to say to you but often scrapped them, knowing that it would sound ingenuous if he was reading off a cue card. Several crumpled half sheets of paper filled his trashcan, a sight that annoyed him even as he lay on his bed with his eyes closed, knowing he needed to get something to stick. It was already two weeks into summer break and while there was plenty of break left, the sooner you had this talk, the sooner he would stop feeling like complete garbage for being in the same town as you.

That’s really what it was; initially, it felt so good to see you again—although you’d changed a lot in six years, the familiar presence made home feel a lot more comfortable. But the more he settled in, the more he thought about it—thought about what you were feeling, thought about how you made him feel, thought about everything that went down before he said what he imagined was his last goodbye and quite frankly, for as much as he cherished and cared about you, the goodbye was sub-par to shit. And he knew it would come crashing down, that comforting euphoria of having you close to him again when those fateful words exited your mouth: that’s a talk we need to have.

He hated the feeling that was coursing through him now, touching every nerve ending he had, absolute dread. Now, he was feeling like it was a mistake to come back, although he was entitled to the town as much as you were as his family lived there also—the biggest mistake was trying to see you again.  

A knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts and his eyes opened to look at it as it began to crack open. His sister had a tray with some cups and a kettle on that she was maneuvering through the door, pushing it back closed with her foot as she set the tray on the large dresser to the left. She looked at Hyunjae before noticing the pile of paper around his small garbage.

“What happened?” she asked, knowing it was something because Hyunjae seldom spent so much time in his room, plus he’d been off for a couple of days since he’d seen you at the dock.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Hyunjae replied, gracefully accepting the freshly poured tea his sister was handing him.

“I don’t think that’s what I asked,” she replied—she usually didn’t let him get away with that, even since they were kids.

Hyunjae sighed and blew on his cup of tea for a moment. “Just marinating in the consequences of my colossal fuck ups,” he replied with a fake smile to the emptiness of his room, although the statement was directed at his sister.

“She doesn’t hate you, if that’s what you think,” she replied and took a seat on his bed. “She’s hurt about you; I’d be hurt about you. There’s a lot to process between the two of you right now, a bit deeper than you might expect to find. It’s awkward and tense and tough to swallow, but you have to do it if you want to salvage it. But I know she doesn’t hate you.”

He swallowed hard; he didn’t even want to look at his sister for the time being as he was having a hard time with the things she was even saying—they were true; he knew they were true. But about you not hating him? Maybe he didn’t believe that. He was slipping into his thoughts again before his phone started vibrating in his pocket. It was unusual, because seldom did anyone call anymore, and who would be calling anyway? He finagled it out of his pocket to look at the caller ID to see someone he recognized: Kevin Moon.  

Hesitantly, he swiped to answer, leaving his sister to occupy herself about his room.  

“Hello?” he muttered unconfidently.

“Hyunjae! I heard you’re finally back in town!” Kevin’s voice seemed a bit too jovial, jolting Hyunjae a bit.  

“Ahh… yeah. It’s been a minute, huh?” he inquired less enthusiastically.

“A minute! More like a lifetime; you’ve been gone for six years! Anyway enough about that; I’ve planned a get-together for a bunch of friends from back in the day! You know, our high school group! When I heard you were back, I had to invite you! You should come by, I’m sure everyone would love to see you!”

It would be rude to ask who was invited, and then decide based on that; but there was certainly a handful of people he would do better not seeing again, perhaps.  He had an answer queued in his throat, he wanted to say that he wouldn’t make it—

“You better go, you’re not doing anything and you need to get out,” his sister commented, loud enough for Kevin to hear.

The look on Hyunjae’s face dropped in an instant when Kevin confirmed that he heard and looked at his sister with daggers in his eyes.

“I’ll kill you,” he mouthed to her but she just smiled and sipped her tea. He composed himself with a deep breath before agreeing to be there and briefly negotiated the time and place and after Kevin hung up, he let out an exasperated sigh.

“There are so many people who are going to be there that I don’t want to see,” he grumbled.

“But there’s so many people who you do! Plus, people who would love to see you, and you can’t just mope around here all day, I won’t have it!” she exclaimed and took her seat back next to him. “You need to get out; sitting up here and thinking about what you’re going to say will make you age too fast. The right words will come, I promise.”

“I think you’re too confident,” Hyunjae said.

“I need to be confident for both of us,” she reminded him and filled her cup back up before leaving him with the rest of the pot in his room.

It was already late in the afternoon at that point, and Kevin’s party would be starting in a couple of hours. He sat on his bed with his legs crossed as he finished off the pot of tea, taking up another half an hour before finally deciding he would shower for the party and at least try to look more put together than he felt.  What did the extent of the old group mean? Because you were technically part of the old group; asking about you outright would be too suspicious. There would be plenty of people there to keep you both distracted from each other especially since they’d undoubtedly seen you far more, which meant it was likely he’d be engaged the whole time.

He set the tray off to the side on his desk—he’d take it back downstairs later—and grabbed some things for the shower with a sincere hope that some hot water would help clear his mind. And perhaps he spent far too much time in there, because by the time he got out and checked the clock it was already twenty minutes passed when he thought it was. He rushed through toweling his hair somewhat dry enough to comb it a certain way and hoped it would stay, tugged on a black button-up and a light wash pair of jeans before he was heading out the door, mentioning briefly to his parents that he was going to Kevin’s, a name they were familiar with, and that he’d be back later.

When Kevin answered the door, it was nothing short of a party right there. It had been a long time since any of them had seen him, so the commotion was understandable, and then an actual genuine smile broke on Hyunjae’s face as he clapped hands with his buddy who was quickly garnering the attention of the other party-goers who had also missed him.  

Hyunjae stepped through the door, a cup immediately put in his hand as he greeted all his old high school buddies amongst the dimly lit room. Kevin always knew how to set the mood of a get-together; this was no different, done up with candles and string lights that slowly faded to different soft colors with some low music in the background. There were a couple of yard games going on outside, corn hole and beer pong with tables of appetizers and coolers full of drinks of all varieties.  

“Wow, Kev, you went all out,” Hyunjae commented and reached into his pocket for his wallet to try and supplement some of the cost, but Kevin stopped him immediately.

“You’re the guest of honor; you’re the whole reason I put this thing together,” he replied and encouraged him to put his wallet back. “When I heard you were back I knew the guys would be stoked to see you. It seems like you’ve been gone a lifetime!”

Hyunjae laughed nervously and hoped that he wouldn’t be asked why he never came back to visit. It was a thought he was still grappling with; a thought he knew half the answer to but the other half was something he’d rather not visit. He had mentioned it to you out loud that day on the dock and it left a burning in his throat ever since—he couldn’t decide if it was because it was the truth or because he knew he was only telling you part of it.   Regardless, he tried to push it from his mind before taking a swig from the plastic solo cup in his hand: a hurricane tasting concoction that wasn’t quite right and a bit too strong.  

As he expected, he was fairly occupied with the swaths of conversations, always being caught by someone new he thought he’d never see again to strike up a conversation about what he was up to and so far, he’d avoided the dreaded question about not visiting. It was safe to assume that he was just caught up in things; Hyunjae was always a hard studier; school was very important.  In a fairly short time, considering the duration of Kevin’s parties typically, he’d gotten through most of the high school group who had come up to him in small circles to greet him and catch up a bit.  

For a bit, he’d been roped into a couple of games of corn hole. It was fun while it lasted, although he couldn’t say he was any good at it. It was the bonding and laughing that counted, especially when someone’s throw was particularly bad and they all laughed at each other for never playing games like this in their college days—it seemed everyone turned out to be quite studious in their time at school and spent less time at frat parties.  

When one of the rounds was finally over and Hyunjae’s drink had run dry, he found a replacement for his team and excused himself back inside the house to make something more his speed. There were a few small circles of people who seemed like they were all catching up—turned out he wasn’t the only one gone for an extended period. Hyunjae dug through a cooler for a can of coke to mix his own drink before he was overhearing some drama he probably shouldn’t have concerned himself with, but it was right around the corner from the kitchen and it sounded unwelcomed.  

“Please just leave me alone,” a voice Hyunjae recognized sounded quietly. Suddenly his desires were conflicted when could tell they were trying not to make a scene but then recognized the voice as yours. On the one hand, he figured the two of you needed a little more space, but on the other hand, was he about to just stand by and let whoever was bothering you continue to do so?

No, he couldn’t let it go, and set his cup down on the kitchen counter, and carefully rounded the corner of the wall to find you sandwiched between it and Sangyeon, someone he considered to be close friends with at one point in time. The look on your face when you finally opened your eyes to see him was nothing short of desperate, but Sangyeon had you locked in tight.  

Hyunjae wanted to verbalize his protest, but the look on your face caught his words in his throat. Instead, he stepped forward and took Sangyeon’s shoulder to pull him away from you.

“She asked you to leave her alone,” he was finally able to manage just as Sangyeon had stumbled back slightly, ready to give Hyunjae a few choice words before meeting eyes with the familiar younger male.  In less than a second flat, you’d scrambled off the wall to take Hyunjae’s arm as he protectively tucked you behind him, expecting a confrontation. Sangyeon knew the history between you and Hyunjae well.

“Dude, it’s cool,” he tried, a friendly smile on his face as he reached for you.

“Dude, it’s not cool. She asked you to leave her alone,” Hyunjae fired back, taking a step back, and subsequently stepping you back.

“Babe, just tell him—”

“I’m not your babe anymore, Sangyeon. I thought that was clear,” you spat from behind Hyunjae.  Although there was shock in his subconscious, he couldn’t let that display on his face. He kept his expression as stone-cold as possible as he glared down the older male who was gritting his teeth. It wasn’t hard to piece together the situation; you and Sangyeon used to date, you called it off and Sangyeon didn’t like it.

“I got it, Hyunjae,” Sangyeon tried again, as if trying to convince him that it was a situation he didn’t need to be a part of, but he could feel your grip tighten a little bit on his arm and he wasn’t about to abandon you—he didn’t care who to.

“How about you take a walk,” Hyunjae suggested, knowing what Sangyeon was implying. The older seemed shocked by his reply, and rightfully so. “She asked you to leave her alone; I don’t think she should have to do so again.”  

There was an uncomfortable silence that loomed between the three of you, and you could see the look in Sangyeon’s eyes that you were pretty familiar with and so tugged yourself closer to Hyunjae. The younger raised his brow, prompting for a reply or for the older to move on. It was clear Hyunjae wasn’t going to back off, especially not as he tucked you just a little bit further behind him.

“Take a walk,” Hyunjae reaffirmed, a growl on the tail of his words and he stood firm until Sangyeon growled, attempting to glare past the other male to get to you, but Hyunjae consistently stepped in his view to make sure that would not be successful.

It hurt your pride a little bit, to be rescued from your ex-boyfriend by anyone at that party, but most particularly Hyunjae who you were not expecting to see, although you were expecting him to be there—and you really weren’t anticipating him seeing that. Surely he knew, and surely he gave you a couple of moments to decide what you wanted to do as you stood against him, against his back, waiting for Sangyeon to clear out and even beyond. Hyunjae’s rhythmic breathing was soothing as he made no moves and only looked forward; he could feel the way your hand still furled into his pressed black shirt, the way your forehead lay against his shoulder blade while his hands dangled at his sides.

“Are you okay?” he asked after a few moments. He was met immediately with a tightness of his shirt, as you gripped it a little harder.  “Did he hurt you, physically?” he asked, since he could tell you probably weren’t okay, at least for the time being, and he could feel you shake your head against his shoulder.  

“Let’s sit somewhere quiet,” he suggested and waited for you for a moment before you were peeling yourself off his back. You expected he wouldn’t look at you, just lead the way through the house that he had been in more times than he could count as he led you towards the back of the house, but not before being caught by a passerby. Feeling a tug on his arm as you responded to the tug on your arm, Hyunjae jolted to a stop.

“Are you okay?” Younghoon asked you. It wasn’t so far out of reach that you be put in a position you didn’t want to be in, but Younghoon couldn’t know that you’d just been rescued from one. Before you could answer, Hyunjae looked over his shoulder at Younghoon.

“O-oh,” Younghoon stuttered. Everyone around knew about you and Hyunjae. “Of course, I’m sorry,” he apologized, soothed only by the warmth of your smile as you pushed the threatening tears further and further so that you could finally get out of there as you were pulled into a back guest room—you could tell it was a guest room because of the décor and the dust on the furnishings. Hyunjae closed the door behind you as he found the light and flicked it on, giving you space to make yourself comfortable first and he would follow after.

You took a seat on the bed, first, letting everything soak in—starting with Hyunjae and your interaction at the dock for a short time before the situation with Sangyeon, how you would manage to make it through the rest of the party without more problems whether that be between you and Sangyeon, or Hyunjae.  You watched as Hyunjae’s dark shoes made it into view in front of you as you looked down at the pristine wood flooring covered by an area rug.

The fray of your distressed jeans entertained your hands, picking at it nervously as you took a few deep breaths. There was an almost silent noise that came from him as he stuck his hands in his pockets, rolling his shoulders a bit before letting out a rickety exhale. He wasn’t sure what to say at the moment; between Sangyeon, Hyunjae’s blow up at the dock, the kind of bad terms you were on with each other.

“May I see your face?” he asked. He hadn’t seen it since the begging look in your eyes and he wanted to wash that away from his memory. Slowly, you raised your head to look up at him, but he wasn’t sure it was any better. The tears were cropped up against your waterline, tears you were desperately trying to fight off as your shaky fingers continued to pluck the threads on your jeans.

His jaw fell open, so many words queued at the front of his throat but none of them felt good enough to soothe the look on your face as you looked up at him, but also looked around him. Trying to decide if staying there or if reaching for you was the better option, he stood there with his fingers furled in his pockets. A few emotions swirled inside of him, feelings he couldn’t quell; he desperately wanted to avoid you once arriving, but the look on your face pressed firmly against his heart because he still cared deeply for you.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered, “I didn’t expect it, him, any of it. I told Kevin, he said it would be taken care of and—”

Hyunjae gathered you into the warmth of his chest, wrapping both arms tightly around you to provide you some semblance of safety as he sat to your side on the bed.

“You do not have to apologize to me; I only wish I could have helped you sooner,” he reminded you, rocking with you a little bit before he sat more squarely on the bed and tugged you to hold you more firmly, more steadily, more securely. You hid your face against his neck, and the tightening in his throat at the feel of your warm tears against his skin was incomparable.

“I’ll have a word with Kev—”

“Please don’t,” you begged. “This was supposed to be a party for you and I don’t want it to be ruined because of me, because of Sangyeon; I should have never come, I knew it was a mistake, that there was no way it could be assured,” you explained, somehow finding your way to your feet after pushing away from him.

“Don’t…” he pleaded, reaching out to take your hand as he looked up to you now as you stood before him. “Don’t say that. I’m happy you came.” He was playing with your fingers at this point, not minding that you were looking down at that instead of at him.  

“It will be getting dark soon and there will be tons of lights all over the backyard if you’ll accompany me to play some games,” he reminded you. Kevin had hosted many parties in the past with decorations just the same—twinkling multicolored lights hanging everywhere he could get them and then some to really set the mood. Hyunjae had clearly remembered how awed you were by the lights at night from the last parties you’d come to, and that in and off itself set a few butterflies free in your stomach. You looked up to him, meeting his eyes which looked at you so tenderly. It was a tough spot to be in considering, but he wasn’t about to send you back out there knowing uncertainly that Sangyeon was still looming around and would no doubt continue to cause problems if you were on your own.

He waited for your gentle nod before taking your hand fully, cupped flush against his as he guided you out of the bedroom, and shut the light off behind him to take you out to the backyard where everyone was playing games and mingling. Some conversation fell quiet as they watched you pass, others came up to speak with you more openly before he took you to a game you could play standing side by side, and he made a promise to you that he wouldn’t let you out of his sight until he knew Sangyeon was gone.

And thankfully, for both of you, the party passed pretty quickly with a handful of guests bidding farewell to Hyunjae, reiterating that it was good to see him and that he should come back and visit more often because they all missed him—you were not to be forgotten, as they all bid you farewell as well. Some whispers lingered, some sly grins and knowing gazes as they looked at the two of you, seemingly entirely blind to it.

The games had been put away as it got dark out, not even the twinkling fairy lights illuminated the backyard enough to keep the games going, but nobody seemed to mind. The fire pit was lit and a handful of folks sat around it with drinks in hand just letting the conversation flow. You were among those sitting around it, listening to the stories being shared, some about Hyunjae, but others just reminiscing about your high school times and how much some of them missed the simplicity of life back then. Sangyeon, from what you understood, had been long gone, so you felt comfortable sitting by yourself without Hyunjae’s watchful gaze as he fixed you both a drink in the kitchen before emerging with a plastic cup which was put into your line of sight in no time. You took it, looking up at him, but after his hand was emptied it continued to linger. He motioned his head out to the depths of the backyard where more lights were strung about the garden and it would give you some quiet time. Daintily, you placed your hand in his and let him lift you from the lawn chair—there was a missed beat in the conversation for a moment, but continued quickly to try and not look suspicious.

Hyunjae guided you to the exact spot at the foot of a large tree that was upending the wall that housed the backyard and disturbed some other brickwork of the nearby flower garden, but he knew a good spot where the roots dodged just enough for a plush place to sit and placed himself in it first.  You looked at him, skeptical for a minute. There was a choice of where to sit, and he looked at you with no expectations that it would be like old times, so he was a tad surprised when you planted your knees in the grass in front of him and handed over your drink for a second to situate yourself, turning and placing yourself in front of him, between the cage of his legs that bent around you, and gently leaned back into the warmth of his body before collecting your drink.

“You didn’t have—”

“I could use some familiar safety right now,” you interrupted quickly, knowing exactly what he was going to say. Besides, he brought you out there for some peace which typically came from safety and you made the choice on your own.

Hyunjae hummed and leaned back against the trunk of the tree to slouch you a little deeper. Your head rested against his shoulder as you enjoyed the coolness of the evening air, the gentle sounds of crickets and other nightlife, the glow of the galaxy beyond, and the twinkling lights in the gardens around. The only unnatural sounds were that of ice melting in your cups, disturbing your drinks when the structure changed, and the way the cups sounded being moved around. It was quiet, and for the most part, you preferred it that way, but you knew another inevitable question was coming.

“You don’t have to tell me because quite frankly it’s none of my business, but what’s your history with Sangyeon?” he finally asked you. Your cup crinkled in your hand, flimsy under your grasp for only a moment while your other hand plucked a handful of blades of grass from the ground with some quiet pops. He didn’t want to make it too obvious that he didn’t like the idea of you and Sangyeon for reasons he could go on about.

“Long story short, we got together for… reasons… albeit not good ones, and he turned out to be entirely as controlling as you witnessed. I broke it off, he didn’t like it, and heard about this party and knew I’d be here… for you…”

“You should have told me,” he whispered, his voice right above your ear and you could feel the way his jaw shifted against the side of your head.

“We weren’t exactly on great terms,” you reminded him, noting the distress of his jeans against the knee, and mindlessly to distract yourself, you fiddled with the loose strands that were fraying, easy to reach with his knees bent to enclose you. “Besides, I heard there was a chance you wouldn’t show anyway. We all kind of determined that you intentionally hadn’t visited. Not that we thought you hated us, just that you wanted to move on.”

There was a tightening around Hyunjae’s heart he hated as you spoke those words. Hearing you say it hurt in a different way than him coming to grips with it himself. His legs couldn’t help but close on you a bit, a frustrated grunt squeaking from his mouth. Not here, he thought, not now. This was not the best place to be having that conversation, but little did you know that was the conversation.

“I owe you all an explanation, truly,” he said.

“You don’t, really. You have your reasons for doing things that are your own. You don’t owe anyone anything,” you said.

“I owe it to myself, then,” he retorted, “and I want to start with you. But that’s part of the big conversation and while I know you have granted me gracious time to collect my thoughts… it’s a conversation I’d rather have without prying ears as it only concerns you and me without the speculation of anyone else.”

“Hyunjae…” you trailed off, turning your head to fight against his, fluttering at the feel of the corner of his mouth and nose against your forehead. His eyes clenched tightly, once again trying to fight off the feelings, the thoughts, trying not to repeat the day on the dock. To steel his nerves, he turned to the side and took a large swig of his drink, feeling your hand wrap against the outside of his knee to tug it against your body. If it was one thing about Hyunjae you were really in tune with, it was his emotions—you tended to feel how he felt, to understand without him having to say much—and it held true even with six years apart.

“I don’t want you to feel rushed and I won’t force the conversation, but I know you want to say a lot of things, so when you’re ready…” you uttered, nuzzling your chin under his jaw. You were pushing, unintentionally, at the seams of his packaged distress. He was doing his absolute best to be there, to be the open and comforting Hyunjae he always was to you, and that was his ultimate demise. The very concept of Sangyeon put a pit in his stomach, and it didn’t even have to be Sangyeon, it just had to be anyone that wasn’t him. But how was he supposed to tell you everything? About why he left, about the things, the feelings, he wanted to leave behind without seeming insulting to you; and then how was he to address that those same issues never went away, that seeing you for the first time even after all that time stoked the same fire, if not more so.

But back then he was just a kid, and it felt stupid, all of it. The distance hurt like hell, but after a bit it became refreshing. Each year got easier to not come back; but he missed his friends, he missed his family, he missed you, but he didn’t miss the way he bit his tongue, the way he stowed his feelings, the way he’d dare not ruin the amazing friendship you had over what he called selfishness. He wanted you to be free without his burden, which ultimately started driving his choice to leave.

He never changed; he could still feel the tip of his tongue clamped between his teeth, still feel the churning in his stomach with the attempt to put his feelings away, the lump in his throat which felt like a swollen version of his heart, a hole in his chest which the alcohol wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“I think it’s about time we head home,” Hyunjae commented after a few moments of tense silence. You were trying to understand the emotions you were feeling via Hyunjae, the way he was feeling, the sudden tenseness of his body, the closed-off disposition. “I’ll walk you,” he added, a lulled whisper in your ear.

You both made your way to your feet, discarding your cups in the kitchen after bidding everyone goodnight and thanking Kevin for the hospitality. You all lived close, the same homes from the district which put you in close walking distance. Hyunjae offered his elbow to you the way he always did, and the both of you meandered rather slowly to your home where he could drop you off. You wrapped both hands around his bicep, a million thoughts running through both of your heads, putting you in seemingly different worlds than each other while walking right next to one another.  

Needless to say, the two of you arrived at your front porch far sooner than either of you were ready. Hyunjae took your hand to help you up the step onto your landing, but the lingering way he gazed at you let you know that he was feeling the same way; that for some reason you weren’t quite ready to leave now that you were really alone. But it was already late, had to have been past midnight, and lingering on your landing could look suspicious.

Still, you turned to look at him, not so much at his face, but at his throat, at the undone button of his black shirt, at the way his throat shifted as he swallowed hard. His thumbs were hooked in his pockets as he stood as attentive as he could muster, waiting for you like he always did. You, on the other hand, fiddled with the hem of your shirt as you thought of what to say, what to do, if it would be best to just say goodnight and be on your way, or if you had something more to say.

Your gaze finally landed on his face, looking over his features. He must have been able to feel your gaze, because slowly his eyes flittered up to meet yours, glimmering in the dim porch light. With you up on the landing, the two of you were closer to the same height—you smiled, remembering how much he’d matured since you last saw him.  It seemed like the only thing that could roll off your tongue was his name, so almost silently it did so once more. You watched his gaze shift between your eyes, his feet shuffled forward to bring himself closer to the landing. Slowly, your hands came up; an innate desire to put them against him had you placing them gently on his shoulders. His breath shuttered against your face, jaw tightening as your brow furrowed a bit.

He was so close to you, your arms were entirely folded at the elbow, you could practically feel the warmth radiate off him, his face had to be no further than a couple of inches now that his eyes were peering slightly down at you and still glimmered like the galaxy captive. It took a second for you to realize that his face was sinking closer to yours, that his head tentatively tilted just as his nose brushed against yours. You took a deep breath, fingers anticipatorily furling against his shoulders as his lips fleetingly brushed yours. He waited a moment for you to object, one of his hands freeing itself from his pocket to place tenderly against your hip while your breath was caught in your throat, but when you did not attempt to move away or verbally object, he leaned in further.

It took only a second for you to fall entirely into his grasp, feet shuffling forward just a tad as he slipped his hand around your back to put your body against his; your arms slid around his neck especially as he stepped up onto the landing, and guided you backward to gingerly press you up against your front door with a few readjustments. You couldn’t quite place the mix of flavors you were tasting, but it was clouding your better judgment—many factors were in play between the kiss, the way his fingers pressed into your lower back, the way he had you arching against him, the Sangyeon panic, the alcohol, the distance, which all made the experience surreal. But you couldn’t deny the way your chest was exploding, the way your nerves were all on end, the way it felt so right after so many years.

You almost sighed, the way his tongue flicked against your bottom lip before your subconscious was pinging on the Sangyeon panic, and your arms retreated from his neck to weakly push against his shoulders. He tugged away, the tender sounds of a broken kiss ringing in your ears like a train whistle before those same warm lips were pressing soft kisses against your jaw, and only after a successful few did you find any words to push from your throat.

“Maybe don’t,” you uttered, more as a sigh as your head tilted back to quietly hit your door, “my breakup is still fresh, and we still need to talk.”

Your voice was a whisper of the wind, but still enough for him to ease off, to pull back and press his forehead against yours after noticing your eyes were closed. His hands tugged your hips into his since your hands were still flittering somewhat across the nape of his neck. Your tongue darted out to flick across your lips, remnants of rum and coke lingered before he took a whole step away from you, and that meant the protective grasp of his hands against your hips was gone as well.

“I’m sorry,” you uttered, “I’m sure I’ve been sending you strong signals all night, and when you stepped in and… your safety and your scent and your touch and charm…”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to come back,” he muttered under his breath, looking up at the cracking paint of your porch covering. He hoped it wasn’t loud enough for you to hear, but unfortunately, it was. You looked at him, queueing a couple of replies in your throat that never seemed to fit the situation and adequately explain how you felt at the same time. You waited only long enough for his gaze to cast back down to you, almost expecting you to say something, but you had twisted the knob to your door and disappeared into the darkness of your home without another word. Could you say it was the best decision? Perhaps not. But in that moment you feared that you would say something that would damage an already delicate situation. If you had just left it at the bit about the breakup and about needing to talk, he would have understood. Everything else just confirmed his fears about you; that you liked the idea of him.  He shook his head and turned to head home, ignoring the prying questions of his sister who was surprisingly still awake and, without turning a single light on, closed the door to his room and crawled into bed.

__

Hyunjae was quiet for subsequent days—too quiet, really, and under the prying and watchful eyes of his sister to look for anything to start a conversation about. Hyunjae was a brick wall. As stoic as anyone could be, almost emotionless, and that, in and of itself, was enough to break the ice about it.

“What’s turned you into a zombie?” she asked, closing the door behind her as she entered Hyunjae’s room. He was reading on the bed, but maybe he couldn’t even call it reading; it was more like his eyes were scanning the same ten sentences a hundred times, never once comprehending what any of it said only to start over from square one again. His brain was scattered, the was no arguing that. But while he thought that his scattered brain would provide him with at least some thought about how to handle the situation, there was no such luck for that either. He had become zombie-like between the lack of emotion and disregarding actions.

His eyes shifted over to her—he looked tired; dark circles around his somewhat reddened eyes, but maybe that was for a reason yet to be clear. He took a deep breath, closed his book, and turned to her.

“The same reason I left in the first place,” he replied, not anticipating that she would have an immediate response—she didn’t. She wasn’t confused, she had a pretty good idea why he left even though she never pressured him to say; he had to do what he had to do for himself and no one would stand in the way of that.

“Should I tell her you’re napping, then?” she finally said.

Those few words dropped on Hyunjae like a bomb. The gears ground in his head for a moment, trying to comprehend how incredibly dire the situation was seemingly suddenly. He blinked a couple of times.

“What?” he asked.

“Did I stutter? Do you want me to ask her to leave? She’s having tea with mom downstairs, I said I would come see if you were available since apparently you haven’t been answering your phone.”

He looked over at the device on his bed, remembering the decision he made right before he closed his eyes for the night to block your number. His heart simply couldn’t bear dealing with anything you had to say, if you did even dare attempt to contact him.

A deep sigh fell between his lips as he stared past his phone and at an undesignated imagined hole in the wall. He all but slapped his book down on his bed and dropped his face into his hands, running his fingers deep in his hair just to tug at it.

“Are you serious,” he growled. Was it not enough, what happened? Was it not clear enough that he wanted to just disappear back into the night like he had never shown back up in the first place?

“Whatever problem you’re having with her, you need to solve it before you leave again, if that’s what you decide to do. If that means closing that book, then do it; but leaving it open is only going to hurt more,” she advised, reaching over to take one of his hands after it fell slack at his side. He looked over at her, but he could tell by the look on her face that she was serious. Not closing the back cover left the wounds wide open and he had already experienced once just how painful that could be.

There was a knock on the door, followed by his mother’s voice, and before he even had time to object the door was being pushed open, and there you stood, looking like you’d slept as much if not less than himself.

Hyunjae let out a disappointed and frustrated sigh as he rolled his eyes away, his sister gave a displeased growl while you looked directly at him. Although Hyunjae’s sister harbored no ill will towards you, she cared immensely for Hyunjae which made the situation that much harder. She couldn’t stand to see him like this, but she also didn’t know the whole story, just that it was about you as so many things had been in the past. She stood and turned to Hyunjae for a moment.

“Do what’s best for you,” she reminded him, glanced at you, and side-stepped you to bring her mother away from the situation.

“Great,” Hyunjae growled sarcastically as he turned to sit on the side of his bed and meet your gaze to the best of his ability. Slowly you stepped in, closing the door behind you. The last thing you wanted was for this to turn into a blowout, but you knew things were rough between the two of you, and you could tell he was suffering just as much as you were about the entire thing.

“Hyunjae,” you greeted, not pleasantly nor firmly. He could see the quiver in your jaw just saying his name, but that didn’t stave off his fiery feelings in the slightest.

He muttered your name back, a greeting somewhat in return.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me—”

“Then why are you here?” he asked, almost barked.

You sighed, slinking against his door. Hyunjae tended to get rough when he was wounded, like a cornered dog who had no choice but to bite back.

“Because I gave you as much time as I could but it obviously can’t wait anymore,” you replied, trying to force confidence into your voice. You needed to stand your ground with him, even if you were never particularly good at doing so.

“You’re right, I don’t want to talk to you. Not only that, but I don’t think there’s anything to talk about anymore. So, sorry you came all the way here for nothing, but I don’t have anything left to offer you,” he snapped, standing from his bed and approached the door, and you, and reached out in an attempt to tug it open.

You pressed against it harder, forcing against his pull to keep the door closed. He scoffed and looked to your face containing the most determined look you could muster since you had arrived. You glared up at him and growled his name.

“You’re pissed at me, and you have every right to be. But we spent many years being the closest of friends, and whenever we had a spat, we always worked it out. And even if things are a bit rocky right now, and it looks like I’m not your friend, I’m at least here as someone who cares so deeply about you—in whatever way you want to interpret that—to try and work through this with you, the way he always have,” you almost pleaded, but with a conviction that made it sound more like a statement for the first time since you’d arrived.

“I know you’re hurting, and I know I’m the cause of that. But to think that I’m here for any other reason than to try and make it right…” you trailed off with the shake of your head, gaze trailing away from his for only a moment, “you know me better than that. And if I know anything about you, you left for a reason, so let’s start there.”

“What is this, freakin’ honesty hour?” he asked, taking a step away from the door, almost attempting to convince you that this was ridiculous, but your reply jarred him.

“Yes, it is, that’s the whole purpose of trying to solve something, being transparent.”

“You want me to be transparent?” he almost roared.

“I want us both to be transparent, Hyunjae,” you fired back, although quite a bit calmer than him.

He paced for a moment, trying to figure out how he was going to approach this—the best way didn’t matter to him, he just wanted to express his feelings at the expense of anyone else’s feelings, because everything to that point had been at the expense of his. You stayed pressed up against his room door, watching him pace, watching him think, watching the frustration build on his face until he finally got some words out.

“The other night,” he started, pausing his pacing to look at you, “when you just let me fall into a bear trap…” He laughed, but it wasn’t because it was funny—his brow was furrowed in disbelief as he looked at you, a hurt on his face you’d never seen before. “I left because I couldn’t take it anymore.”

You swallowed hard, having a good idea what he was talking about already, but you still wanted him to say it out loud—you still wanted to have a conversation.

“Couldn’t take what, Hyunjae?” you asked delicately.

“You,” he replied, jaw clenching for a moment, fists following before he took a deep breath himself. “The way we were. How… connected we were. How open and honest and upfront we were, how deep we were,” he explained, or tried.

“And the other night is related because?”

He bit his tongue, you could see it peek out from behind his teeth before he turned his face away from you, clenching his eyes before his hands found his dresser, holding him up in a sense as he leaned into it. A few deep and rickety breaths followed as he composed himself enough to say something.

“It confirmed the fears I struggled with, suffered with, that you only liked the idea of me. Confirmed the fears that you wanted me in theory, and how strained that made my ability to maintain a friendship with you. I left because it seemed easier to forget about the feelings when you weren’t right in my face. I left because I thought it would be easier to move on. You said the other day you sent me strong signals, and you did. They were strong signals; they were wrong signals—”

“They weren’t wrong,” you interrupted, “I was torn between respecting my relationship space with Sangyeon and being elated that you were back and willing to treat me like we’d never skipped a beat,” you tried to explain in return.

He spun to face you, tears already pushed off his face. His heart hurt unbelievably, fiery but in a negative way, squeezing in his chest as he formulated his reply.

“So you think it’s cool to just lead me on? To not only let me but encourage me to kiss you on your front porch and lean into it like you welcomed it, just to hit me with all that shit about my safety, my scent, my charm and in essentially the same breath tell me that I’ve crossed a line? I’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re just the one I won’t ever get over, but you don’t have to make it so damn hard for me the one time I do decide to come back!”

“Hyunjae—”

“Do not. Do not try to charm me with those pretty little eyes, with the sweet way you say my name—” he growled, unable to finish before you had something to say.

“I’m not!” you retaliated. “I am not trying to get out of what I did! I am not trying to discredit how you feel or play the victim in any way. I know my approach wasn’t great, and I will be the first to admit that. But if we could go back and redo the situation… if you hadn’t kissed me, I probably would have kissed you,” you expressed to him.

“I don’t like the idea of you, Hyunjae. I’ve always liked you. And when you left, it took me a few years to get in the game to try and move on… I got with Sangyeon because it felt, in the beginning, like he understood me. Like he empathized with my loss, which was you, and I had an aching, a pit that needed to be filled that I thought he could fill.  But that pit is shaped exactly like you, and I realized that nothing else will ever fit it properly…”

You tried so hard to maintain your resolve, but the way getting all of that off your chest made you feel in combination with the look on Hyunjae’s face, you weren’t sure how long you would last. You couldn’t tell if he thought you were lying or not.

“What a jerk I’ve been to you,” you continued, “This is why I get so mad about you saying stuff like how mean you’ve been to me; like you think I thought you left without a purpose. I didn’t know, exactly, your purpose at the time, but I knew it was one you needed for yourself. So, why would I think you were a jerk for that? When you didn’t reach out, I saw the signs like freeway billboards—”

“I loved you,” he interjected. “And I was so scared that if I had admitted that to you, that I would lose you, but I ended up losing you anyway because I was too weak to swallow the fact that I did love you. That I do love you. That those six years away did nothing to help me move on,” he replied, pouring it all out for you, finally saying what he needed to say for so many years and a weight lifted off his chest, but it didn’t stop the squeezing feeling.

“I got too worried trying to respect the relationship with a man who never respected me; who took advantage of me knowing I was vulnerable without you; and if I had come to that conclusion on the landing that night… Hyunjae, I may have not let you leave. It was like my favorite coffee on a cold day, like the sun on my skin in the late spring, like the spray of the water on the dock—nothing has ever felt more like home.”

Hyunjae let out a deep sigh, blinking back the tears that pushed at the outer corners of his eyes as he slipped to the floor. His gaze looked out but didn’t find anything in particular, clouded anyway. He took a moment to reflect on the way the hardwood panels felt underneath his fingers, the way breath filled his lungs, the way his eyes stung, the sound of you sliding down to the floor yourself against his room door.

There wasn’t much else that needed to be said, so the two of you sat across the floor from each other in relative silence for quite a few lingering moments. The both of you were trying to regulate your breathing, trying to quench the fire that burned deep down.

It took a moment, but he crawled across the floor of his room to sit up in the corner of the wall and the door and asked for your hand only to coax you over to him, between his legs to rest up against him as he settled his chin on your shoulder. From then, it was a matter of time and healing, and he wanted to spend the initial healing time with you in his arms in the quiet of his room as the both of you processed everything that was said.

All that could be heard throughout the room was perhaps gentle breathing, silently the continued refusal of tears that stung both your eyes. Hyunjae dug his face in the crook of your neck, even if you were turned away from him; he didn’t want you to see it. But even if you couldn’t see it, you could feel the way his rickety breath fell across your shoulder, the way he trembled against your back, the warmth of his tears against your skin and even though things were on the mend, that, in and of itself, stung like hell.

Hyunjae’s pain had always been your pain, and vice versa—his happiness, his burdens, his struggles, his successes and triumphs; they had always been shared because of your dynamic, and it was clear things weren’t about to change. It had always been a love the both of you were too afraid to admit because there was a very real chance it would drive you away from each other.

“I love you, Hyunjae…” you muttered. It was the only reassuring thing you hadn’t said.

His arms tightened around you, fingers digging deeper into the fabric of your shirt that furled in his grasp. There was a mumble into your skin—you didn’t hear him, but you had a decent idea what it consisted of.

It was contemptuous to even consider moving for a bit. Relishing each other’s presence seemed cathartic, to a point; it felt as though as you sat there with each other, after laying it all on the table, that the healing was somewhat fortified. As the time passed, your touches against each other were different, softer in a way, more calculated, and genuine. Millions of things were still running through each other’s minds—even though there was nothing left to say, you both were over thinkers to the core, so that occupied most of the silence between you. At least, until there was a knock on Hyunjae’s door. He hadn’t realized the time, or how much time had passed, but he helped you to your feet before tugging the door open to reveal his sister.

“We’re getting ready for dinner, you’re welcome to stay…” she hesitated, noting the look on both your faces. Your eyes were noticeably still red and swollen—you never had a quick recovery after crying, even if it was somewhat tame. Hyunjae was still pushing at his own tears, too.

“Thank you, but I should get going,” you replied, a sad smile on your face as you looked to Hyunjae who understood that not only would it be incredibly awkward, but that you both probably needed some time alone with your thoughts. He nodded encouragingly, agreeing with your conclusion before he began ushering you through his door. After following his sister down the stairs, you quietly greeted both of their parents, thanked them for the offer for dinner, and had Hyunjae show you out.

“I’ll walk you,” he asserted, but you quickly shook your head.

“Your dinner is hot, you should stay; it’s still light, I’ll be okay on my own,” you replied as you turned to face him, to look up into his somewhat swollen eyes, to catch the fleeting tremble of his lip as he looked back at you. Before he could nod in reluctant agreement, you reached out to take his hand and gently squeeze it. You used that hand to pull him closer to you, the half a step distance you needed to stand high on your toes to press a soft kiss against his cheek; it was sticky but you didn’t care. His eyes fell closed as you lingered there for a moment then you drifted back to the flats of your feet, gave his hand another squeeze, stepped off the landing of his house, and turned down the street. A few trickling moments passed before his sister collected him at the door, encouraging him back inside to try and eat something even if he wasn’t hungry. Surely, he would hear from you soon enough.

It was a weird type of limbo to be in, unknowing when it was appropriate to contact the other, and sheepishly waiting around for the other to do the dirty work. This inevitably led to another few days of silence, but that didn’t stop you from calling up Younghoon—your new closest friend since your falling out with Hyunjae—to ask for his advice, since he never seemed to give it unsolicited.

Nervously, you turned your iced coffee between your hands as you sat across the café table from him. Patiently, he continued to wait for you, never forcing a word out of you or a move of any kind. When you had called him up saying that you wanted to talk to him about Hyunjae, especially considering the look he gave you at Kevin’s party after Hyunjae had helped you out of a precarious situation, he was eager to meet with you—not because he had dirt or anything to spill, but because he knew, somewhere in there, you agonized over Hyunjae; sometimes in unhealthy ways. You had always been friends with Younghoon, so he was the natural next best to Hyunjae; expressly since he’d watched your friendship at its peak and watched the way it splintered into nothing—admittedly, he was the only one with your actual best interest in mind, particularly when you concluded that Hyunjae’s absence crushed you in ways you couldn’t explain initially.

“Sorry,” you muttered, a rickety diffident to your voice with another shaky exhale.

“I’m in no rush, you know I’m here for you,” he replied. “Why don’t we start with this; you mumbled hurriedly over the phone about how things had been solved, and then unsolved,” he prompted, giving you somewhere to jump off from since it appeared you were having a hard time finding somewhere to start.

A tough swallow broke down your throat as you thought about the instance in which he reached for your arm and asked if you were okay, your hand laced with Hyunjae’s.

“About that—he caught Sangyeon being… well, Sangyeon,” you answered. Part of you figured Younghoon would be offended you didn’t tell him about the incident with Sangyeon, and you honestly weren’t even positive he’d been seen by Younghoon or Kevin for that matter.

Younghoon’s eyes perked a little bit; the situation was a little different now that he knew you had been in Sangyeon’s clutches only to be rescued by Hyunjae. It seemed right, in all fairness.

“We’d fought a couple of days before—not really a fight, a small disagreement, and weren’t on the best of terms. It was a weird situation that went from bad to good to bad all in one evening…” You had to trail off, thinking about the events as they replayed in your mind. But it was salvaged now, right? You blew off your steam with each other and found a ground with equal footing, but things were still awkward.

“The point is, I’m here because we finally had a talk, and while it wasn’t really talking and more like yelling at each other and then breaking down into mutually pathetic messes, I came to ask you what you think is the best way to approach him now. We haven’t talked in a couple of days, I think we’re both kind of hinging on the other being the first to reach out for contact,” you explained.

Younghoon sat in contemplation for a moment. There was no correct answer to your question, and he couldn’t even say there was one approach that was better than the other. Even something as simple as texting him to ask how he was doing could be enough to open the door, so he didn’t take long to come up with that to say to you.

“I suppose you think it’s weird to just text him to ask how he is.” Apparently, the situation was a little more complicated in your eyes than he initially thought.

“I had six years to do that,” you replied, your plastic cup crinkling under the pressure of your fingers furling against it.

“Of course,” he answered, understanding the situation a little better. “To be completely honest with you, you both have overcome a lot already, if you consider. Between the frontages, the distance, the coming back together, and all the drama that came with all that, you both have managed to sort something positive out, right? I’m sure there’s nothing you could say that would have a negative impact short of telling him you wish he’d leave again, and I doubt you’re going to say that.”

A slight laugh escaped from your throat, but it could have been mistaken as a scoff just as much. It was ridiculous for Younghoon to even suggest that, because he was completely right—only if you became possessed would you consider saying that to him.

“I know it feels like a delicate situation, but I’m positive it’s far less delicate than screaming at him in the middle of his bedroom about how dumb you both were being after re-shattering his still splintered heart.”

“Ouch,” you responded, even if it was true, and it was never like Younghoon to pull punches when you needed to hear something. And he had always known of Hyunjae’s feelings for you, so that didn’t make this conversation any less brutal.

“Also, I’m not saying it will be instantaneous, but I’m also certain that deep in there he’s elated to have you back, too, and in the state he’d battled with himself about for some time. You might be best off asking to meet on neutral turf so there’s no awkward looming—I know how nosey Hyunjae’s sister can be,” Younghoon laughed and took a swig of his coffee, relaxing back into his chair which, inevitable, had you relaxing back into yours, letting his words sink in as you picked up your phone to type a message to Hyunjae about meeting up the next day.

--

The late evening sun glimmered off the water, stretching left and right as far as you could see. The soft ripples of the water catching the light to produce a river of diamonds while your legs hung off the edge of the dock. Your phone was tucked deep in your pocket, an unread message about Hyunjae being on his way to meet you sat in your notifications bar. There was an unexplainable tightening in your chest, but maybe it was just because it was the first time you were getting to see him after the tipping point.  An unreasonable voice called from the back of your mind to back out; that it had already been a rough time with him, maybe it was better to just let it go—a voice you had to really try to push away.  

Another rigid breath—how many had come in the last few days, you would have a hard time counting—as you steeled your nerves, clutching the edge of the dock as you tried to wait patiently, at least until a small cup jingled with ice from the side of your face. Hesitantly, you looked over and slowly followed the arm up to a familiar face. He smiled delicately, his lips barely tugging at the corners to produce it, but it was detectable by your trained eyes.

“Hi,” he almost whispered as you faltered a bit in taking the flavored iced tea from him; it was a little late in the evening to be having coffee—not that it had ever stopped you in the past. He took a seat next to you, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the dock next to yours. To say that he was sitting comfortably close was an understatement; his hip was effectively pressed up next to yours, just like old times, but there was a new sense of comfort that washed over you from the fact, even if the nerves were bundling in your throat.

“Hi,” you choked back, eyes never breaking their contact with his being even when he settled. “I’m going to apologize in advance if this is extremely awkward.”

“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing to you,” he laughed, looking out over the water to notice the same sea of diamonds you’d been entertaining yourself with since you took a place on the dock yourself. “Can’t say I’ve been through this before, so it’s definitely new and rocky terrain.”

“You seem jovial, nonetheless,” you replied.

“One of us has to try to keep a good spirit,” he joked, elbowing you in the side, reminding you that you weren’t exactly the mood-maker of your duo, before he took a swig of his tea. You followed suit, uttering your gratitude, before forcing a bit of confidence into your bones. All of the times you’d sat on the dock with him in the past in this very setting came rushing back to your immediate memory, and with it, all the times you’d begged to loop your arm around his. So, with a bit of hesitancy, you moved your tea to your hand opposite of him and swiftly stuck your hand under the crevice between his arm and torso to wrap your hand around his bicep, additionally leaning your head against his shoulder to avoid the imminent gaze that would no doubt scout your embarrassed features in half a second flat. Hyunjae did, in fact, turn to look, a more noticeable smile tugging at his face as he pulled that arm tighter to his body, acknowledging your courageous display of affection, and gave you the satisfaction of relishing it without some signature sassy remark from him as he leaned his head against yours.

The way you clenched your hand against his bicep was indicative of looking for something to say, scrapping any ideas you had in your head a handful of times. He knew you weren’t the best with words, especially after having a fight—that’s what he’d call it, because it kind of was—but that didn’t stop him from waiting for you to say anything. Instead, you opted to nudge your head up a little bit, wedging it between his head and shoulder a little further before a somewhat exasperated noise slipped from between your lips.

Hyunjae discarded his tea gently against the finished dock, turning his full attention to you. His slender fingers gently prodded against your jaw, prompting you to lift your head from his shoulder. It was always like him to take control of the situation, and to be completely honest, you had banked on that for this entire meeting. You were pleased to look at him per his will, tilting your chin up so that his face could slip by yours and press a lingering kiss against your cheek, the way you had to his at the end of your last meeting. Perhaps the most important meeting.

Again, you wanted to speak with nothing really to say. Your eyes fluttered at the feel of his supple lips against your cheek and remained closed when his delicate fingers flittered away from your jaw and his hand cupped against the back of your neck, craning up only slightly to place another kiss against your forehead, and another against your cheek—you had to chuckle, nervously nipping at your bottom lip as you tried to read his intentions.

“Just let me marinate in the fact that I have dreamed about this for eight years, and I’m finally here,” he mumbled against your skin, knowing that you were laughing at him.

“I’m laughing at you because you keep missing,” you replied, eyes fluttering open to meet his as he pulled back. The gentle smiles fell from both your faces as your gaze teetered between each other’s eyes, noting their glimmer, their depth, the absolutely homey look you gave each other. Your breaths mingled just a few inches from each other between the two of you before you noted the way his tongue flicked out to moisten his lips—in nervousness or preparation, you couldn’t tell. When he noticed the way your eyes fell past his nose, he couldn’t help but speak up.

“Is that so?” he asked nearly inaudibly.

“As a matter of fact…” you trailed off, anticipating the way one of his hands reached across you to help you settle your tea against the dock so you could place that hand wherever you’d like as his mouth descended on yours, delicately eclipsing yours in a softly meshed kiss that felt worlds different from the one on the landing of your home after Kevin’s party. It felt like a plug had been pulled, and all the tension that culminated between the two of you was swirling away into the abyss as you melted into his touch, gingerly cupping your cheek until his lips broke away. A silent protest came in the form of an exasperated exhale, that shy smile returning to your lips noting he hadn’t pulled far enough away to be out of reach, so you took it upon yourself to lean in for another quick peck.

“Somewhere deep in the back of my mind,” he began, waiting for a moment for your eyes to open so he could look into them once more, “I had always hoped I would get to kiss you on this very dock with the sun going down and glimmering against the water, exactly the way it is.”

You placed your hand down over his, which was pinning you somewhat against the dock as he rotated to face you. The look on your face was enough, he didn’t really need a reply; everything that needed to be said had already been said. Even still, you had something for him.

“Me, too,” you replied, leaning up to nuzzle your nose against his for just a moment, “so, I’m glad you came back to figure it out. I needed you more than anything.”

Hyunjae chuckled; the thoughts he had been battling with for so long about why he was returning all suddenly made sense, like a message in the stars, a secret nudge from the universe telling him there would be something special about him coming back, pushing through the dread he had cut with your hometown. He remembered letting it marinade for a week after the idea first crossed his mind. Maybe he was feeling homesick, admittedly he missed his parents and his sister, but he could tell there was something more.

“Something in the vast infinity delivered your call,” he whispered to you.

“I owe whatever mystical message that led you back to me a great debt.”

“Why don’t you just say you missed me?” he teased.

“The way I missed you is beyond anything I could string together with words, Hyunjae,” you replied, pushing him back a little bit to put him physically on the defensive for only a second before he took the opportunity to pull you across his lap so he could have you as close as possible.

“And showing you feels a little more vulnerable; maybe we needed that all along, instead of putting on that tough face for each other,” you told him, your smile saying something different as your hand gingerly stroked through the tresses of hair on the back of his neck, tilting his head to look at you before your foreheads met, eyes fluttered closed once more.

A moment relishing this closeness was much needed and long-awaited.  

#deobiwritersnet #hyunjae scenarios #hyunjae fic #hyunjae oneshot #tbz scenarios #tbz fic #tbz oneshot #hyunjae fluff #hyunjae angst #tbz fluff #tbz angst #hyunjae #tbz hyunjae

[garlichoisan]

Singing in the shower | liu yangyang

➸ Genre: Fluff

➸ Pairing: Yangyang × f reader

➸ Word count: 7 197

➸ Information:

college!au, childhood friends, friends to lovers, friends!NCT Dream 00 line, bestfriend!Yeji (ITZY), very slight NoMin references (Jeno + Jaemin), mention of Mark Lee, reader is a few months older than YangYang (born in the same year)

➸ Warnings: A lot of fluff as usual.

➸ Plot:

You're forced to learn how to live without your closest friend from childhood who has to go live in Germany with his parents, leaving you heartbroken. You thought YangYang was going to be by your side forever. As years have passed and you've almost started to forget about him, he suddenly appears in your life again, turning it upside down, and this time, nobody's leaving.

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➸ A/N: This oneshot took me over 2 months and a half to write and was written as a part of my dear @renjunniehome's song fic challenge (?)

Not really a challenge, but it's an event where diffent NCT writers write fanfics based on songs so make sure to check it here: PLAYLIST FICS MASTERLIST

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“I don't know, it's just something about ya

Got me feeling like I can't be without ya

Anytime someone mention your name

I be feeling as if I'm around ya”

YangYang and you have always been a package deal; you were so close as children that at one point people couldn’t imagine one of you without the other and honestly, you also couldn’t imagine what your life would be without your best friend. There was something about him that made you feel butterflies in your stomach, even though as a child you could not identify and understand clearly what it was.

Besides that, your parents and YangYang’s were very close so you sometimes had family dinners together; that happened often, since you were neighbors and your houses were literally right next to each other. Your parents loved YangYang like their own son, maybe because he spent so much time in your house, had dinner there, and even stayed the night quite often for your sleepover parties. Of course, his parents were also very happy when you went to his house in order to spend time with him. Everyone in the neighborhood thought you’d end up marrying each other when you grow up, even if your child selves denied it with disgust. However, you couldn’t deny that your face always lit up when your parents told you YangYang and his parents would be coming over for dinner. Just the mention of his name made you start jumping with excitement.

But apparently everything good had to end sooner or later. You could still remember the shock you felt when you learnt YangYang would be leaving his house which was right next to yours in order to go live and study in Germany. He explained with glossy eyes that his parents have found better work opportunities there and that this probably meant you wouldn’t see each other very often. When you first heard this, you burst out crying, hugging him tightly, begging him not to go. Even though he also didn’t want to go, he was just a child so he had to leave with his parents. That left you heartbroken; you tried to text him in the beginning in order to keep in touch but it was getting difficult because of the time difference, as well as the lack of personal contact. Slowly you started to get used to life without him, no matter how much you wanted him back, but you couldn’t really learn to be happy without him.

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“Ain't no words to describe you baby

All I know is that you take me high

Can you tell that you drive me crazy?

'Cause I can't get you out my mind”

As the years were passing and you were growing up, you started to understand what your feelings for your childhood friend meant. Before you heard the word “crush”, you thought you just loved to be next to YangYang because he was funny and was making you laugh. But as a teenager, you realized you still missed him, even though you had no idea what he looked like now, how much he had changed, and most of all, you felt how you haven’t gotten over him at all. People your age started to date, but you weren’t interested in anyone, since subconsciously you kept comparing them to your childhood friend. You never even went to dates, and you realized how childish your behavior was, but honestly, nobody seemed like your type anyways. You barely had any friends, since the overly-romanticized idea of YangYang has turned into a standard for your friendships as well. You felt as if you were going crazy because of him as you only thought of him and how you would feel if you could meet him now.

* * *

A few years have passed and you were now in university, trying to live without the thought of YangYang as you realized you were probably never going to meet him again. Now you had some amazing friends who were bringing colors into your life and sometimes distracted you from thoughts about your childhood friend.

You were currently having lunch with your friends from your class. Suddenly you saw Jaemin, one of your friends, running towards your table and finding a place to sit, as he looked as if he was excited for some reason.

"Guys, big news! Apparently we're gonna have a new guy in our class. I heard he's German. I can't wait to meet him! European peopleare so good-looking!" Jaemin said with a dreamy gaze.

“Why would there be a German in our class?” You asked confusedly.

“I don’t know, that’s what the rumors are.”

As you heard the word ‘German’, you suddenly thought of YangYang again, trying to stop the association in your mind before it was too late. For the rest of lunch time you were a lot more silent than usual, quietly eating your food as Haechan was telling jokes, Renjun was laughing, and Jaemin kept annoying Jeno.

The next day you had an early class and as you heard your alarm ring, you groaned softly in annoyance, turning it off and literally rolling out of bed, as you fell to the floor, hugging your blanket, together with your bunny plushie which was actually a present from YangYang.

“Stop overreacting, you drama queen. Nobody has ever died from early morning classes,” your roommate and best friend, Yeji, said.

Sometimes you wondered how could she be so energetic, enthusiastic and optimistic, even early in the morning.

“Yeah, I might be the first one though,” you cried out, while holding the plushie tightly, refusing to accept the reality.

“Come on, if you get up now, I’ll buy you something delicious after classes,” Yeji promised, taking your hand to help you get to your feet.

When you heard her offer, your eyes lit up.

“Really?” You were still a little skeptical about believing her, even though you wanted to.

“Yes, knowing you, you’re probably just going to ask me to buy you a chocolate. Completely affordable,” Yeji chuckled, knowing she was right.

“Correct. Make it two, though. I feel this is going to be a difficult day.”

You finally took her hand and let her help you get up from the floor. After that you quickly put your plushie back in your bed, laying its head on your pillow, as you took the blankets from the floor and put them over the plushie, wanting it to feel warm. Yeji watched your actions with a wide smile on her face.

“Aww, you’re so cute. Now go get ready, or we’ll gonna be late.”

“Oh, how tragic that would be,” you said sarcastically, before going to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth.

* * *

When you and Yeji entered the lecture hall, you found your classmates being more energetic and chattier than usual. You also noticed your friends, who were talking to a new guy, probably the one Jaemin mentioned the day before, as you recalled.

“Honestly I was a little disappointed to find out you weren’t actually German,” you heard Jaemin say and you giggled quietly.

“If those weird comments don’t scare the new guy off, I’d be really impressed,” Yeji noted, as she found a place near the window and you sat next to her.

“I agree,” you laughed, turning around to look at the new guy once again.

He looked somehow familiar to you, but you couldn’t tell why. When he noticed you looking at him he just stared at you for a couple of seconds while Jaemin and the rest of your friends were probably bothering him. You could swear you’ve seen those shiny dark brown eyes somewhere else before. But as you realized you were still looking at the guy, you quickly averted your eyes, so that he wouldn’t think you were some kind of a creep. You thought that maybe there was not a particular reason for his familiar vibe: maybe he just looked like somebody you’d befriend, that’s why he looked as if you already knew him, or at least that’s what you believed.

“I see the new guy has already caught your eye. The question is, how did he achieve that? You’re not usually interested in others,” Yeji pointed out.

“I-I’m not looking at him,” you denied, shaking your head. “Guys are basically a loss of time, except for my friends. But they’re too dumb for me to date one of them. Besides, only two of them are boyfriend material, they are Jaemin and Jeno, and they’re basically almost dating each other, even though they don’t know it yet,” you explained, taking your textbook out.

As you mentioned Jeno, you saw him coming to you and you looked at him questioningly.

“We promised to show the new guy around after this class, and then we’re going to have lunch with him. You and Yeji can also join us,” Jeno suggested and Yeji nodded.

“We’d love to!” You smiled and Jeno smiled back, returning to his seat, next to Jaemin.

When English class ended, you and Yeji went out of the lecture hall, waiting for your friends and the new guy. They were soon here and you all started walking around the hall, as you heard Haechan talking about the variety of books in the university’s library even though you’ve never seen him actually go there, so you were wondering how he knew this information. Meanwhile you and the new guy continued looking at each other and then averting your gaze without saying anything. You realized he still hasn’t introduced himself to you, but you couldn’t ask him for his name, because you were shy, so you just continued walking in silence, as the ones who were talking were mainly Haechan and Renjun.

When you went to the cafeteria and found a table, you left your things, so that the guys could watch over them, and you went to buy food with Yeji.

“Seriously, what’s going on between you and the new guy? You can’t stop looking at each other. You’ve never looked at a guy like that, so you can’t convince me you don’t like him,” Yeji stated, demanding an answer, as she took a bowl of rice.

“He just looks familiar, I don’t know why though. That’s all.”

“You know that when you meet your soulmate for the first time, you feel as if you already know each other?” Yeji asked, as you paid for your food and started walking back to the table with your best friend walking after you.

“Shut up,” you hit her arm playfully; you really wanted her to stop saying things like that.

When you went back to the table, you noticed only Jaemin and Jeno were there. Jaemin was feeding Jeno, holding a spoon of rice which he put into his mouth.

“Eat a lot, handsome,” Jaemin winked at Jeno who averted his head with discontent. “Do you want some kimchi?” He asked, as Jeno nodded, even though he didn’t want his best friend to feed him.

“Why are you feeding him? Can he not hold the utensils himself?” Yeji asked, as you hit her arm again.

“Be quiet, you’re ruining the romance,” you scolded her, as you continued looking at your two friends, as you sat across from them.

“What romance are you talking about, I just lost a bet,” Jeno groaned in disagreement with your statement.

“Was the bet letting Jaemin show his love for you freely?” You questioned him, as Jeno looked too flustered to answer.

“Something like that,” Jaemin confirmed. “Ah, Jeno, you’re such a messy eater! Here, let me wipe that off,” he said, as he wiped the rice off Jeno’s lips, using a tissue.

“Cute,” you whispered, looking away as you started eating your own lunch.

“Jaemin’s actions are making me want to throw up,” Yeji confessed, taking her fork and starting to eat her food in silence.

“You’re not the only one, I feel the same way,” Jeno agreed quietly, looking at Jaemin as if he was going to kill him every second now.

A few minutes later the new guy approached your table, holding his own tray of food, setting it down and sitting next to you. Your heart skipped a beat just because of his decision to sit next to you. You didn’t know why him being close to you was making you feel this special, so you tried to brush it off, but you couldn’t; so during the rest of the lunch you were actually in a very good mood, even though you and the new guy still haven’t talked to each other directly at all. When Haechan and Renjun joined you, you talked to them a lot, trying not to think about the stranger next to you, since you were too shy to ask for his name, and he apparently didn’t want to say it to you or ask you about yours.

As you were done with lunch, you stood up from the table and took your tray in your hands, looking at the new guy as he was doing the same. When he took his own tray, though, you noticed he dropped something. You quickly bent down to get it and give it back to its owner. But before handing it to him, you took a quick look at it – it was a discount card for the food in the cafeteria. You saw his picture and you read your name, saying it out loud as you realized something.

“Yang… Yang?” You looked up in disbelief.

He looked at you with a smile and he nodded.

“Yes, YangYang is my name, not a nickname as people usually think. Sorry for not introducing myself to you earlier, I was just distracted since you seemed really familiar for some reason,” he said, as you handed him his discount card.

“Um, I… My name is Y/N,” you introduced yourself quietly, as you waited for his reaction.

There were two possible ways this could go: he would either recognize his own childhood best friend, or he would take your hand, as he hears your name for the first time, if he wasn’t your YangYang, but some other guy with the same name. But to you, now it all made sense. The visual resemblance, his voice, his cheerful personality… But you still wanted to be sure it was actually him, before hugging him excitedly.

“You… Bunny?” He called you by your nickname he came up with when you were younger. He thought you looked energetic and playful, just like a bunny.

You nodded, as you couldn’t stop smiling.

“You don’t know how much I missed you!”

Before you could do anything, he put his tray and card down on the table as he hugged you tightly. You were a little taken aback for a couple of seconds, slowly realizing your wish has come true. You and your best friend were finally together.

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“Thinkin' of ya when I'm goin' to bed

When I wake up think of ya again

You are my homie, lover and friend

Exactly why”

As you and Yeji went back to the dorms, you didn’t even have any motivation to study, because you were too busy thinking about your amazing day. You still couldn’t believe this was actually him, your childhood best friend who you were meeting so many years after he left for Germany, after you had lost hope of seeing him ever again. You were hugging your plushie, as you were jumping around the room, repeating that tomorrow you were meeting YangYang after classes in a café, where you could talk to each other and get updates on his life, even though everything seemed as if it was still the same; even YangYang haven’t changed in your opinion, except for becoming more handsome now as an adult.

Yeji was smiling at you, as you told her about your long story with your childhood friend. She was sincerely happy to see you so excited and she wished everything would turn out well for you. You kept thinking about him before going to bed and even after you woke up, starting your day with a smile on your face.

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“You light me up inside

Like the 4th of July

Whenever you’rearound

I always seem to smile”

A few weeks have passed since your reunion with YangYang; now you were used to hanging out together all the time, just like before, realizing that neither of you really changed. You craved each other’s attention and presence just the same way as when you were kids. Today you decided to visit a café with a nice atmosphere, suitable for a cozy afternoon and long conversations. After classes were over, you said goodbye to Yeji, as she wished you to have a good time on your date, but you were quick to correct her this wasn’t a date (even though you secretly wanted it to be) and went out of the classroom together with YangYang.

On the way to the café you couldn’t stop talking to each other. Your topics were never ending and it was always exciting spending time together for both of you. You couldn’t stop smiling as he said funny things to you, or even when he didn’t say something that entertaining; you just loved his company so much, that you enjoyed every second you spent with him. Around twenty minutes later you got to your destination and he opened the door to the café for you, then you found a nice table near the window. You both ordered hot chocolate as you continued with your conversation.

“Do you wanna go watch a movie tomorrow? They’re projecting a Marvel movie,” YangYang asked as he gave you a little additional information.

You smiled, even though you honestly disliked these movies, but you only watched them so that you could spend time with YangYang. You’ve watched every single Marvel movie, since your best friend was obsessed with them for some reason.

“Of course, I’m so excited!”

“Great, I’ll book the movie tickets now,” YangYang said with a wide smile on his face, as he unlocked his phone and typed the website’s name to book the tickets.

“Um, Yangie,” you hesitantly started speaking, not knowing if you should continue your sentence.

“Yeah?” He asked, not looking away from his phone.

“I’m going home this weekend, in my hometown. Do you wanna go with me?” You suggested, even though you felt a little shy to be inviting your childhood friend in your house and have the same sleepovers you used to.

“Really? That would be amazing!” Fortunately, he seemed really happy to hear your idea. “Your parents are also going to be there, right?” After you nodded, he continued speaking. “Can you tell your mom to please prepare my favorite cream cheese muffins for her special guest?” He looked at you with pleading eyes you could never say no to.

“Hey, YangYang! Do you only care about food?” You scolded him, as you playfully hit his arm.

“This is my main priority, yes.” He answered, matching your energy. “But you take the second place, you’re the second most important thing to me other than food.”

He looked at you and for a moment you forgot how to breathe. You were looking at his eyes, getting lost again and again; it felt like you were getting out of the trance he put you on, only to fall deeper the next time you looked at him.

“Are you okay?”

His voice showed concern, but his face had a unreadable look; not worried, but also not calm. It was like he knew exactly how he made you feel.

“Uh, yes, sorry, I just zoned out for a second,” you explained as you avoided his gaze. “I’m gonna call my mom later and ask her to prepare the muffins,” you informed him, as you took a sip from your hot chocolate.

“You know I don’t really care, right? I just want to be with you,” he admitted, as you coughed when you heard that. “Are you alright? First you zoned out, now you can’t drink your hot chocolate… So my theory must be true,” he said with a content tone and you looked at him in surprise.

“What theory?” You asked as you continued coughing until you were okay.

“Never mind. Just be careful next time.”

You nodded as you silently took another sip, trying to avoid his eyes.

Around an hour later it was time for you to leave, so you went back to the dorms. He smiled and waved at you, and after you waved back, you finally entered the room you and Yeji shared. You closed the door as you rested your back on it, breathing loudly. Your heart was beating fast and you wanted to make sure you’ve calmed down before you greet Yeji. Now you were absolutely sure you were in love with your childhood best friend and that fact made you quite nervous. You never felt that way before and you weren’t even sure if he felt the same way about you. But despite your worries, you smiled widely before knowing it. You felt like you couldn’t even control your emotions and it made you very confused. You slowly went to your room, then you left your bag on your chair and you took a step towards your bed and you just laid on it for a minute, staring at the ceiling, trying to stop thinking about YangYang, but it was more difficult than you expected.

“What’s wrong? Didn’t the date with YangYang go well?” She teased you and you turned to look at her, rolling your eyes with annoyance.

“It was nice, except it weren’t a date,” you corrected her, sighing loudly. “But why is my heart being like that?” you whispered, putting your head on your heart as you kept looking at the ceiling with concentration, as if you expected to find all the answers of your questions there.

“Maybe because you wanted it to be a date?”

You decided to ignore her, but then she spoke again.

“Look at me, the ceiling won’t talk to you like I can,” Yeji reminded you as you looked at her discontentedly.

“Yes, but it also won’t make fun of me like you do.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I just find it amazing that you’re finally interested in somebody,” she said, as she smiled excitedly.

“You could have stopped after ‘sorry’, you know?” You shot her another annoyed look and she raised her eyebrows as if to say she didn’t care. “Never mind, I’m going to take a shower.”

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“And people ask me how

Well you’re the reason why

I'm dancing in the mirror and singing in the shower”

As you felt the hot water running down your body, you felt a wave of calmness washing over you. Your mind kept going back to thoughts of YangYang and your incredible day with him, as well as the excitement of going home together with him. It was something you wished for so many years, just having him back with you, the two of you together in your room, playing Plants vs. Zombies or Mortal Kombat, some of your favorite PC games back at the time, when you both were around 10 years old.

Without realizing it, you started singing a random song you’ve heard in school today that somehow happened to be a romantic one, matching perfectly with your good mood and your feelings for your childhood friend. Around half an hour later, you got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around your body. Then you took the hairdryer and stood in front of the mirror, drying your hair, but you felt so energetic and happy that you started dancing in front of the mirror. You were holding the hairdryer and you were moving your body randomly, keeping a smile on your face, even though that way drying your hair took much longer time than usual.

When you finally turned the hairdryer off, you noticed Yeji standing in the doorway of your room, looking at you with a wide smile. You rolled your eyes at her for the millionth time today, realizing she may have witnessed at least a part of your dancing in front of the mirror. She giggled, but you decided to act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, as if you were always that cheerful.

“Why are you laughing?” You asked, as you put the hairdryer back in its place.

“Someone has a crush,” Yeji almost sang that sentence. “I’ve never heard you singing in the shower and seen you dancing in front of the mirror before… Is it really possible that YangYang is the reason behind all that? Could he have changed your usual grumpiness into cheerfulness?”

“What do you mean? I’m the same as usual,” you denied all her claims coolly, sounding credible enough, since you weren’t such an inexperienced liar; you couldn’t say the same for your love life though – you really lacked experience in that part, knowing that calling yourself a “dater” would be factually incorrect.

“Yeah, okay. But if things between you really do work out, I want to be the first one you’re going to share the news with! You’re gonna tell it to Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun and Haechan later,” Yeji stated, as you were looking at her with confusion.

“Calm down, there won’t be any news to tell,” you laughed as you quietly went back to your shared room.

But the part of you that you tried hard to suppress, really hoped you were wrong.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“All I want, all I need is your lovin'

Baby you make me hot like an oven

Since you came you know what I've discovered

Baby I don't need me another”

The next day was Friday, the day you would come back home together with YangYang, being there with him for the first time in many years. A few days ago you’ve told your mother about reuniting with him and to say she was ecstatic would have been an understatement; she felt as if she was welcoming her second child who has been away for a long time, so she wanted to make sure everything was perfect for him. She even cleaned your room since you weren’t there to do so and its usual state was beyond messy; definitely not the best place to show to such an important and dear guest.

You couldn’t wait to go, but before that, you had classes that seemed endless to you; time seemed to be passing too slowly and for a moment you even thought about suggesting YangYang to skip school today, but your good girl reputation prevented you from doing so.

When the professor said his last words for today, concluding the lecture, you took your backpack. You had put your stuff in it a few minutes ago, while the professor was explaining something about an exam or an “extremely important” group project; you weren’t sure, since you weren’t listening after all. You took out the little mirror you kept in your bag to make sure you looked alright. You tried to comb your hair with your fingers, then you applied a new layer of your favorite pink lipstick; you took so much time with your make up today, even though you usually didn’t wear a lot. When you were ready, you ran to the exit of the auditorium, as YangYang was already waiting in front of it.

“You might need to turn Yeji down,” he said, as you raised your eyebrows questioningly. “The group assignment Mr. Lee mentioned, groups of two are also allowed, so you’re with me.”

So this was what you missed as you were too busy putting your stuff in your backpack in order to be able to leave as early as possible. You smiled at him when you heard his words that made a warm feeling blossom in your body.

“Are we ready to go? All I need is in my backpack, so I don’t need to go back to the dorms, unless you want to.”

“I’m also ready. Let’s go,” he smiled, taking your hand and leading you to the exit of the university.

As you were walking next to him, your hand in his, you felt your heart beating unusually fast; but instead of this making you feel nervous, you felt the same warm feeling spreading through your whole body and this time, you were ready to let go and have fun, without holding back anymore.

“So we have a bus in 15 minutes,” you informed him, as you looked at your phone.

“A bus?” He asked before he stopped walking and you stopped looking at the phone and noticed an expensive black car parked in the university parking. “Why don’t we take a ride in my car?” He leaned on it, tapping the roof softly.

“This car is yours? I can’t believe it, you’ve really grown up, Yangie,” you said with a disbelieving voice in order to tease him, but you still sat next to the driver’s seat in his car, as he has opened the door for you before getting on himself. “Even though I’m a few months older than you, I still don’t have my driver’s license, but I’m working on it,” you said with a discontented tone. You were nervous about driving and when you were stressed, you couldn’t do well so you were trying to get your driver’s license for quite some time now.

“You can do it,” he encouraged you with his usual cheerful tone, holding his fist in the air for a second as a sign of encouragement, as he started the car and left the university parking.

* * *

When you were finally in front of your house, you quickly got off the car as you started jumping around with excitement. He smiled at you as he also got off and when the both of you took your backpacks from the car, you rang the bell of your house. A few seconds later your mom opened the door, welcoming you with warm hugs and her usual good mood, as well as a wide smile.

“Wow, I haven’t been here for such a long time,” YangYang mentioned, as he kept looking around. “Wait, what is this smell? It’s amazing!”

“Oh, it’s the muffins,” she smiled again. “By the way, Yangie, you’ve grown so tall! And my little Y/N is still the same as before, she didn’t really grow up a lot,” your mom teased you,

“Hey, you’re shorter than me, so you aren’t allowed to make fun of me!” You playfully scolded your mom, as you sighed in annoyance.

“But you like girls shorter than you, right, YangYang?” Your mom asked your childhood best friend and you wanted the ground to swallow you up right now since you were so ashamed.

You knew she was only asking this since she shipped you and YangYang romantically ever since you two met. She was truly scared for you not to end up single, while you were living your life, rejecting every guy that tried to flirt with you, especially because they weren’t YangYang. You perfectly understood your own feelings so you knew that you didn’t need and didn’t really want a relationship if it wasn’t with him.

“Actually, yeah, I really like girls like that,” YangYang smiled confidently, looking at you. “They are adorable,” he looked away and only then you could breathe. “And they make me feel tall even though I’m not,” he laughed, as your mother was looking at him with pure adoration in her eyes.

“Ah, you’d be such a perfect son in law! Handsome, good mannered, with a good height and you also know a lot of languages, just like my Y/N! I’m honestly so jealous of your future mother in law,” your mom continued to make you want to disappear and you were on the verge of just taking YangYang’s hand and leading him somewhere far away from that house.

“Believe me, you do not need to worry about that,” YangYang said as he kept smiling at your mom.

Even though you didn’t know what he meant, you really wanted to take him somewhere else, where he wouldn’t be able to talk to your mom.

“Dad is still at work, right? Please ask him to buy iced tea and tell us to come when dinner is ready, see you later,” without waiting for your mom to answer, you took YangYang’s hand and led him upstairs and then into your room.

He was looking around as if he was visiting a foreign place he has never been to before.

“You changed your room color…” He said as he touched the wall. “Baby pink suited you though. Also your curtains are different. I liked the old ones with teddy bears on them, but these are fine too. And the bed… It’s seems suitable for more than one person,” he kept commenting the details about your room, but this time his tone was different, and his look was honestly making you nervous. “Have you invited many guys here, Y/N? In this room, on this bed?”

His question made you choke on air; you were looking at him with shock written all over your face.

“W-why would I…”

You wanted to be honest with him, but then realized that this would probably make you look so boring to him.

“It’s not your business.” You quickly answered, sitting on your chair.

“Ah, my innocent Y/N… I guess I’m the only guy who is not a family member that has been to your room,” he continued teasing you as you glared at him warningly.

“That’s not true! Jaemin, Jeno, Haechan and Renjun have been here too!” You quickly denied his claims.

“Yeah, but I doubt you felt something for any of them.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds before deciding to change the topic.

“Do you wanna play Plants Vs. Zombies?” You suddenly asked.

“Of course! Let’s go!” He answered enthusiastically, seating on the chair next to yours.

It was a whole miracle how you could change the atmosphere and his demeanor just by mentioning a PC game. You started playing and suddenly he was the same old YangYang you knew and loved.

“Plant a sunflower, quickly!” You said, as you were looking at your laptop’s screen.

He did as you said, waiting to get another sun so we could buy another plant.

“Quickly, the zombies are coming!” You were clapping excitedly, looking at your childhood friend play the game you used to play all the time when you were kids.

You were so happy that you got closer to him without realizing.

“You’re making me nervous by staying so close to me,” he confessed, giggling softly.

“A-ah, s-sorry,” you quickly apologized as you moved away from him.

When you decided to take a break from the game, you offered him to watch a movie and he agreed, laying on your bed and you reluctantly laid next to him, trying not to get too close to him. You opened Netflix on your TV and the two of you took some time to choose a movie.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“No, no all I know (know)

Only you got me feelin' so (so)

And you know that I have to have ya

And I don't plan to let you go”

You haven’t watched the movie even halfway when he pressed the pause button.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, sighing deeply as if he had something that caused him a great amount of stress.

“Do what?” You asked him worriedly.

Was he sick? Was he bored? You thought of so many different things that you could have done which could have irritated him.

“Pretend that everything between us is still the same. Pretend I don’t want to kiss you right now.”

Your eyes widened with shock when you heard his confession, but before you could say anything, he continued talking.

“We’re not kids anymore, Y/N. And I think we did change through all these years. It’s our chemistry that’s still the same. Tell me that you’re feeling it too,” he was talking in a husky voice which made you imagine things you thought you shouldn’t.

YangYang looked at your eyes hesitatingly, then at your lips, or at least that’s what you thought you saw him looking at, even though for you, it didn’t make any sense for him to be looking there, even after hearing him say he wanted to kiss you. You felt as if that whole situation was just a dream and nothing that happened was going to affect reality in any way. But as you were busy overanalyzing things as usual, you felt a strange, yet addicting sensation. As your eyes were still open, you looked at YangYang who was kissing you. You couldn’t believe that was happening, but you quickly closed your eyes, enjoying his lips on yours. Your heart was beating fast as you tried to remember this sweet feeling, savouring the taste of his lips. When he moved away, you slowly opened your eyes, looking at his with confusion, yet with trust. You were sure that whatever was going to happen, you were safe and happy with him.

“I- You… Uh, did you like that?”

You nervously nodded, as you were wondering what to say.

“Great, I did too. Does that mean you like me back?” YangYang wanted to check in with you, before officially asking you the last question he wanted to ask ever since he realized who you were back in the canteen that day.

“You’re so special to me, YangYang. I like you a lot,” you confessed, feeling a little shy, but still trying to keep his eyes on him, because you thought he deserved to know exactly how you felt about him without finding out how nervous you actually were. “By the way, that was my first kiss and I’m so happy it was with you,” you looked at him adoringly.

“Really? That’s so cute!” He exclaimed with a sweet smile. “So you’re sure you haven’t kissed anyone from your friends group?”

“Actually I kissed Jaemin and Jeno on the cheek once at a party because of a dare. And on the same night Haechan and I got so drunk that we almost kissed, but our friends stopped us before we ‘unlock a whole another relationship’, as they said.”

YangYang sighed with annoyance before mustering up the courage to ask you the most important question.

“Do you want to be like… Uh, you know?”

You were looking at him with confusion written all over your face.

“You sound just like Mark, he’s a friend of mine who’s one year older than us,” you teased him, since you really found his nervousness to be cute.

“Come on, you know what I’m trying to say,” he tried to avoid saying it out loud, but you weren’t going to let him do that.

“Do I know, Yangie? How can I know if you haven’t said it yet?”

“You went from a shy girl to a smug girl in just a second,” he mumbled with discontent.

“But you’re the same! You were teasing me earlier and now you sound like Mark Lee!” You complained.

“Who is Mark Lee?” YangYang asked even though he didn’t really insist on knowing; he just wanted to postpone asking his main question for as long as possible.

“That Mark guy I told you about! Are you even listening to me?”

“Should I be jealous of him?” He pouted as he was waiting for your answer.

“Maybe you should,” you continued provoking him in order for him to properly ask you what he wanted to.

“Come on! Aren’t your four handsome guy friends enough people to be jealous of? When I see how you’re looking at Yeji, sometimes I’m jealous of her too! I also can’t stand it when Haechan looks at you as if he has so many improper thoughts. Or when Jeno and Jaemin ask you if you have eaten. Or when Renjun is smiling at you and laughing at your jokes! Ah, I hate it so much that I want to punch-“

You interrupted YangYang with a kiss.

“My answer is yes.”

“You’re going to be my girlfriend?” He asked, hoping you would agree.

“No, I’ve never heard you ask that,” you crossed your arms, smiling at him playfully.

“You’re going to be my girlfriend because I said so~,” he almost sang that sentence, as he decided to make sure you were incapable to refuse by suddenly making you fall on your bed as he trapped your body under his.

“No, I’m not going to do it~,” you answered in the same tone, as you tried to flip him over, so that you could be on top of him.

But when he noticed what you were trying to do, he caught your wrist and kissed your lips deeply, making you forget everything else. In that moment you relaxed under his touch feeling safer than ever. You kissed him back with the same lust as his, as your fingers threaded through his fluffy hair. You continued passionately kissing each other for a few minutes, taking very short breaks to breathe, since you both missed each other’s lips too much to stay separated even for a few seconds that felt like an eternity for you.

But when you heard a knock on your door, YangYang quickly got off you and he sat on the bed innocently, as you followed his example. You quickly fixed his hair which was quite messy because you were running your fingers through it all the time.

“Y-you can come in,” you said with a voice that was a little distorted, while you were trying to normalize your heavy breathing.

When you said that, the door opened and your dad came in.

“Hi, Y/N. Here’s the iced tea,” he said, giving you the bottle of iced tea which you contentedly took from his hands and left on the ground. “YangYang, it’s great to see you again,” he smiled and YangYang smiled back. “Dinner is ready, so you can come downstairs,” your dad said and you nodded synchronously. Then he turned around and walked out the door, closing it.

YangYang got up from your bed as he gave you his hand, which you took. He kept holding your hand as you were walking down the stairs.

“I guess your parents are really going to have the best son-in-law,” YangYang said and as soon as you realized he was talking about himself, you hit his arm as you laughed.

You were finally truly happy again; you felt having YangYang by your side meant that nothing was impossible and all your dreams could come true, just like the seemingly unrealistic dream of having him back while you were longing for him all these years. It turns out your long wait was absolutely worth it and now that he was here with you again, you weren’t going to let him go.

#nct #wayv #nct fluff #wayv fluff #yangyang #yangyang fluff #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #yangyang imagines #yangyang scenarios #song fic

[yamag00ps]

We don’t tell lies, Tadashi

pairing: yamaguchi x reader

genre: best friends to lovers

contains: pure FLUFF

word count: 2.2k

summary: he wasn't necessarily lying to you, was he? I guess he was lying by omission, but there's no need to get technical..

note: this is my first time writing for haikyuu!! enjoy some yamaguchi lovin’ :) p.s. play kina grannis’s cover of stand by me when you see the “*******” (I promise it enhances the fluff) & here is part 2

“We don’t tell lies, Tadashi!”

Ever since you were both ten years old, you have disciplined him into always being honest--well, with you, at least. You couldn’t really care less when he lied to his parents about breaking the vase in their living room, or when he lied to his teacher about forgetting his homework at home. What mattered to you was that he was always honest with you, specifically.

“We don’t tell lies” has become an inside joke between the two of you growing up. As silly as the backstory of it was, the sincerity of the saying never faltered. You both had no problem with being honest with one another ever since--whether it was as trivial as you telling him he had spinach in his teeth, or as serious as him telling you that he disliked whatever boyfriend you had at the time. Neither of you could find this honesty with anyone else, making this friendship all the more special to the both of you.

However, ten years later, here Yamaguchi was, pacing his room, two doors down from you, grappling with the biggest secret of his life--the only thing he has ever kept from you. Technically, he never told you a lie. The only reason he hasn’t explicitly stated his feelings for you was because...you never asked.

At least, that’s what he tells himself to feel less guilty about it.

He thinks he’s done a good job at keeping his feelings at bay over all these years. He always fell back on the fact that he would rather keep you around platonically than lose you romantically. Although he knew the strength of your friendship could probably overcome anything, it wasn’t a risk he was willing to take yet.

Tsukishima mocked him frequently saying, “We don’t tell lies, Tadashi,” whenever he would catch Yamaguchi staring at you a second too long.

“Not funny,” Yamaguchi replied every time.

He wasn’t necessarily lying to you, he was just waiting for the right time, and he didn’t think there was anything wrong with that. He was hoping you’d understand this thought process when the time came.

It was summer break and a handful of players from the training camp decided to have a reunion, including the teams’ managers. A large lake house was rented for four days and split amongst everyone. Now, Yamaguchi had no intention of confessing to you during this little vacation. Why would he risk ruining the fun, right?

That was until he found out that not one, not two, but THREE different guys had planned to confess to you on this trip. He wanted to be upset, but he didn’t really have a right to be. It made sense why they would, seeing as this reunion was the first time a handful of them would get to spend real time with you since all of the volleyball events in high school. He cursed himself for not confessing to you before the trip.

One of them even came to Yamaguchi for advice on the first night, asking if you had a boyfriend. Not wanting to encourage him, Yamaguchi dryly replied, “Not sure.” Again, technically he wasn’t lying .. What if you were secretly talking to someone and you just haven’t told him about it yet? The mere thought of that possibility made him sick. After finding out about the other two confessions that were planned, he knew he had to get to you first.

Every time he noticed you talking to any of the three, he would conveniently swoop in and join the conversation. Fortunately, you were oblivious to his intentions because you were best friends, after all. He ignored the way the other three would scowl at him when you weren’t looking.

Tsukishima would watch from a distance and snicker to himself. Sometimes he would help Yamaguchi out too. Although, he’d be a lot blunter about it, openly teasing whoever wanted to confess to you saying something along the lines of, “It’s okay man, you don’t have to look too desperate.” You’d gasp and smack Tsukishima in the chest, missing the smile Yamaguchi was struggling to hold back. Usually, these interruptions would do the trick, and whoever it was would become discouraged and not confess.

However, Yamaguchi knew he could only buy time for so long until someone successfully confessed to you. That is how he found himself standing in front of your door at 3am, on the third night. Honestly, his journey from his room to yours was a blur. One second he was in his room giving himself a pep talk in front of the mirror, and the next he was at your door, any bit of confidence he had slowly dissipating the longer he waited to actually knock. He knew you were awake because you had texted him a photo of him and Tsukishima on the lake five minutes ago.

As he mentally gave himself another pep talk while pacing the hallway outside of your room, you opened your door. You jumped a bit, not expecting to run into anyone.

“Oh shit,” you quietly laughed, “Hi, I was actually just about to..”

You decided not to finish that sentence and asked instead, “Everything okay?”

“Oh! Yeah, hey. I, uh.. I was just-- um..” You waited for him to continue. He took in your sleepy self, snugly wrapped in a black silk robe. Your hair was in a low ponytail that had clearly been slept in. Fuck. He’d be damned if he didn’t take this chance to see this every night for the rest of his life. He’d been staring at you for too long.

“Sorry! Um.. your robe looks really.. Nice. Comfy. Wish I had one.” He awkwardly laughed and scratched his head. Looking anywhere else but you, he desperately searched for a way to recover from that painfully awkward compliment. To his relief you smiled and thanked him, telling him it was a gift.

At this point, it was very clear to you that he had something on his mind. You knew him well, so you waited patiently, not rushing him at all.

It’s just her. Talk to her. She will listen, she always does.

You were leaning on your door frame, arms crossed with your shoulders relaxed. Your head was tilted as you watched him expectantly. He took a step closer to you, forcing you to look up at him to keep eye contact.

The gentle look on your face was the last push he needed. Everything he had prepared to say escaped him as he took you in again, but he didn’t care anymore. It was time to trust his gut and be as honest as possible, instead of tiptoeing around his feelings. The look in your eyes grounded him and he knew there was nothing to be afraid of.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispers. He says it as if he’s sharing a secret that he’s been holding in for years. Your eyes widen as he takes another step towards you.

“What..” you breathe, studying his expression, searching for clues.

This wasn’t his first time telling you this. Growing up, it was never uncomfortable for him to compliment your appearance. You often asked him how you looked and he would respond honestly every time. But this time, you both knew it was different as he looked down at you with both a fondness and a fire in his eyes, completely aware that he was inches away from completely altering the dynamic of this friendship.

The silence was deafening as your gaze flicked to his lips, and his to yours. Before you could fully process what was happening, you grabbed the front of his shirt and closed the gap between the two of you. Despite the desperation that led to it, the kiss started off gentle and slow. His hands leaving the comfort of his pockets and moving swiftly to your waist. The kiss mimicked the desperate feeling of finally inhaling that much needed breath of fresh air after being underwater for too long. Your hands moved to the nape of his neck as he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss.

Suddenly, you heard a group of guys making their way up the stairs. You both jolted, breaking the kiss. You peaked around Yamaguchi’s frame as he looked over his shoulder towards the stairs. You quietly giggled at the fact that his grip on you tightened as if he was going to lose you to whoever was coming up.

“Yamaguchi?” Hinata questioned. Your hands lowered to rest on Yamaguchi’s chest as you remained hidden behind his frame. He inhaled sharply and was sure you felt his heart beating out of his chest at the feel of your hands on him. He quickly cleared his throat.

“Oh, uh hi Hin--”

Without thinking, you grabbed his hands on your waist and yanked him into your room. Hinata, Nishinoya, and Tanaka watched in confusion as your door shut.

“Wait, Yamaguchi’s room is next to mine, over there? Isn’t that Y/N-san’s room?” Hinata voiced as Nishinioya and Tanaka shared a glance, putting two and two together. The two erupted into laughter and high-fived.

“Okay Yamaguchi, we see you!” Tanaka stated loud enough for you two to hear.

“We give you our blessing!!!!” Nishinoya and Tanaka cracked up, shaking their head at a very clueless Hinata.

**********

Back in your room, you had your back pressed against your door with Yamaguchi still towering over you, hands still on your waist as you both listened to chaos in the hallway. You hid your face in his chest as you listened to Tanaka and Noya rat the two of you out. He shook his head and you both laughed, lightening up the atmosphere. As the trio’s voices faded, you finally looked up at your best friend just to find him already gazing at you, completely smitten.

“I have my own room, you know. I paid for it and everything,” he teased.

“Oh? Okay, go ahead then. Get your money’s worth,” you playfully began to push him off of you. It was no use as his grip on your waist tightened. You giggled as he moved you back to your place against the door.

“But you, on the other hand,” he grabbed one of your hands off his chest and kissed the back of it, “Your company is priceless.” You blushed at this. This was a stark difference from the shy, stuttering mess he was when you first opened your door. You rolled your eyes and attempted to look away until he took the same hand and turned your face to his again. He couldn’t get enough of looking at you with such little proximity.

“Is this why you were pacing outside of my door?” You asked quietly, hands reaching around his neck again.

“Oh no, I was actually on my way to confess to Tsukki.” His left arm hooked around your back while his right hand massaged your side. He loved being this close to you.

“Oof, am I currently cockblocking him?”

“Yeah, but I don’t mind this plot twist.” You hummed in agreement.

Your hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck. He leaned down to rest his forehead against yours. It was only then that you realized you left music playing on your phone. It was your “Sleep” playlist. Kina Grannis’s cover of Stand By Me played quietly. You briefly turned your head to where your phone sat on your bed.

“Dance with me, Tadashi,” you whispered and giggled. You rested your head on his chest and he held your right hands up as you swayed to the music. You quietly sang along while Yamaguchi shut his eyes in pure bliss. Years to come, he knew this would be one of his favorite memories between the two of you.

I won’t cry, I won’t cry.

No I won’t shed a tear.

Just as long as you stand, stand by me.

So darling, darling, stand by me.

Oh, stand by me.

Oh, stand, stand by me.

So darling, darling, stand by me.

Oh, stand by me.

Oh, stand, stand by me.

As the song ended, you started to speak, head still on his chest.

“I’m sure this goes without saying but I really like you, Tadashi.”

He scoffs, causing you to raise an eyebrow and pull away from him. He slightly shook his head and you were ready to scold him for that reaction until he cradled your face in his hands and kissed you again. He broke the kiss and started laughing. You looked at him incredulously. You just confessed to your best friend and here he was laughing ?

“What is so funny?” you asked, his hands still on either side of your face. The way your cheeks appeared a bit smushed as you whined was so endearing to him.

“How long have you felt this way?” He asked with a stupid grin on his face. The fact that he was getting a confession out of you, was so unbelievable to him that it was laughable. You narrowed your eyes at him, not sure if you wanted to answer him truthfully, already dreading however he planned on teasing you.

“For a while,” you replied honestly.

“Mmm, so you’re telling me you’ve been lying to me about this friendship..” Your eyes widened, knowing exactly where this was going.

“Tadash--” you began to argue, but he shut you up with a kiss again, turning your words into a whimper. You pouted into the kiss.

“We don’t tell lies, Y/N.”

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: WHEWWW who knew yamaguchi could be such a little SHIT. I wanted to write this b/c yams doesn’t get enough love!!!!! Also I had a dream about this so I kinda just ran with it. here’s part 2

ALSO. people often write about yamaguchi as this extremely shy boy who can barely hold a conversation and while that CAN be a bit true with strangers I think it’s important to remember that he can be such a little shit if he wants to be (his best friend is literally tsukishima come ON) AND y/n in this is a childhood friend so they’re already very close heheh

#yamaguchi #yamaguchi tadashi #yamaguchi fluff #yamaguchi x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fluff #hq scenarios #yamaguchi x you #yamaguchi imagine #haikyuu x reader

[qtlibehsun]

why can’t you be mine?

pairing: dream / clay x f!reader [angst] 

summary: dream has to sit back and watch as the girl he loves is taken by his best friend

warnings: lots of cursing 

word count: 1.1k

Clay had never been this angry. He almost felt like the mouse may have been broken due to the intense hold he had on it. Why? Well, there was George, his best friend, flirting with Y/N. His Y/N. Red was tainting his vision and he had the sudden urge to sock his friend in the face. What was he thinking?

He thought he was being rational. Even though Clay hadn’t expressed it, he thought it had been pretty obvious to the British boy that he had strong feelings for the girl. But to his mistake, George was unaware.

“So… Y/N,” George had started over the microphone. “What’re you doing this Friday night?” Clay felt his blood rush to his head instantly.

“Nothing. Why?” He could practically hear the blush in your timid voice.

“Well that new restaurant just opened. Did you maybe want to go check it out? With me?”

The blonde rolled away from his computer screen, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Please say no. Please Y/N. Fuck, say no.

“I’d love to George.”

His head fell in his hands, a thickness growing in his throat and a tightness in his chest.

“Oh, thank god Y/N. Sorry it’s just I really like you that’s all.”

What was George doing? Did he forget he was there? Why was he admitting these feelings to her when the man who loved her unconditionally was sitting right there, his heart slowly being torn it two.  

“It’s fine George,” you laughed, although it had never left such a distasteful feeling in Clay’s chest. “I like you too.” And that was the breaking point for him.

“Hey, you do know I’m still here right.” He had bitterly, snapped, his growing rage slowly consuming him.

“Oh! Dream! Shit I’m sorry man I forgot you were here,” George had laughed from the other side of the call.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll leave you to it,” Clay had grumbled as he abruptly quit the voice chat.

Never in his entire life had he wanted to grab his best friends head and shove it so far up someone’s ass. He was fuming. Just two days ago he was talking about how beautiful this other girl was, and now he was asking his girl out.

It was wrong. He couldn’t love her like he could. Clay didn’t consider himself as a selfish or possessive person, but Y/N was different. She stayed up late and called him some nights when he was upset. Always said good morning too him, and good night. Heck, she even baked his mother banana bread when they first met.

Clay’s mother had adored Y/N. And so had his sister, and brother, and his entire family for that matter. He knew she was the one then.

And now that British son of a bitch George was whisking her away for a date on Friday night. He felt hopeless. He should’ve tried harder; he should’ve told her he liked her. Told her how funny she was, how generous she was, how utterly beautiful she was.

Tears started to prick at his eyes and blur his vision. You will not cry Clay. Fuck don’t you dare fucking cry.

“Fucking fuck,” He whimpered as he ran from his chair and into the kitchen. “Fuckity fuck, fuck fucking hell.” The tears started to fall as he rapidly searched for some water. He felt hopeless, defeated, crying over a girl like this. Grow up.

He was halfway through chugging his water when his phone rung. He ignored it not being in the mood to talk to anyone now, but nonetheless checked his phone to see who it was.

1 Missed call from Y/N.

1 New Text Message from George: Dream? Are you okay man?

Clay almost growled. Fuck off George.

He was sending daggers into the blue light of his screen when Y/N’s caller ID graced the screen again. He instantly picked up out of habit, cursing himself a second after. Just stay quiet Clay, she’ll leave you alone eventually.

“Clay?” Her soft voice pierced his ears. “Are you there?” He couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah, I’m here Y/N.”

“Oh, thank god! What’s wrong? Why’d you leave like that?”

He sighed loudly, the noise not missing Y/N’s ears. “Nothing’s wrong, Y/N/N. I’m just tired that’s all.”

Y/N awkwardly giggled from the other end of the phone, “Clay, come on, I know something is up, please tell me. You tell me everything, I’m worried.”

The tears started to come back. I know. But I can’t tell you this. “Seriously, I’m fine.” Please just drop it. Please.

“Clay…”

“Stop saying my name like that, please. Please just stop,” he cried, his hand firmly plastered in the roots of his hair

It was quiet on the other end for a bit.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise. If I had known I would’ve talked to him in private,” she said, finally catching onto what he was implying, stumbling over her words.

“No. It’s fine,” He choked, loudly too. She would’ve heard that as well. “Look Y/N, I can’t complain, I didn’t do anything about it. I don’t want to get in the way of anything, our friendship or George’s. We live in different countries anyway, so I don’t know what I was thinking.”

She was quiet, of course she was, what was she meant to say.

“Can we please just drop it?” He asked desperately. Sure, he loved her, deeply loved her, but losing his friendship with her and not being able to talk to her at all would hurt a lot more than seeing her with George. He was a twenty-one-year-old man, he could suck it up and move on. And fuck it would sting, and kill him to see George hold her, and kiss her, and love her, when that’s all he wanted to do, but he’d just have to suck it up.

“Okay. I’m sorry Clay. Please call me or text me if you need anything. I love you.”

“Fuck. I love you.” He knew he shouldn’t have said it. She meant it platonically and him romantically, but he had to say it, he just had to. It wasn’t fair but god he had to tell her.

She hung up.

He threw his fist against the counter and left his house in to sit in his car, fuming, the need to hit something arising in his chest. His steering wheel took a beating over the next couple of minutes. He felt like a child.

Two weeks later Clay was crying on the floor of his shower, his head in his hands. His phone lay open on the bath matt outside, a leaked photo of George and Y/N holding hands, kissing, in a booth at a restaurant.

#mcyt #dream #dreamwastaken #dream x reader #dreamwastakenxreader #mcyt dream #dream imagines #dreamscenario #dreamwastakenimagine #mcyt angst

[kotoplasm]

can i request a gender neutral college au with oikawa where he forgets to attend his s/o birthday party cause he was too busy practicing 🙂 and he remembers it like towards the end of practice. by the time he gets to his s/o apartment, their small group of friends are already leaving and giving him side eye cause he made them cry on their birthday so he goes inside to apologize. thankks 💕

scenario: deflated

i'm so sorry but this became more angst than fluff 😗 however i might write a part two if people like this one so much. but i enjoyed writing angsty oikawa oop–

you were convinced that he forgot about it. today of all days and he chose to forget the latter.

the streaked colours of the event were scattered erratically across the carpet of your apartment and you were the only one there to pick up the remaining pieces of short-lived ecstasy, tendrils of coral, maroon and lilac wrapping themselves around your slender fingers before they were discarded into a recycling bin.

maybe you were being selfish. he had practise to focus on so maybe the thought slipped his mind.

he didn't forget your anniversary, in fact, he made the effort to go on a spontaneous date that evening, drinking in the ambience that the nearby café had to offer. it made you realise that you didn't need an extroverted celebration to mark an occasion as important as that. he definitely looked apologetic, from the way that his eyes glossed over before midnight to the way his hugs and kisses felt tighter and more passionate.

yet here you were, with neither of those things.

despite the emptiness you had been feeling, your friends made it imperative that you celebrated your twentieth birthday. they'd planned everything, from the cake that you were going to cut to the invitations. they'd even planned for oikawa to bring the cake, allowing you to relish in the fact that you were able to celebrate this special day with someone that you had fallen so deeply in love with.

but you never saw him bring the cake in. to be accurate, nobody had brought it in. it wasn't until your brother took the initiative and brought it in for you, the candles casting a golden glow in your eyes, before you blew out each individual waxy stick and allowed the embittered scent of burnt oxygen to fill the room.

you tried not to think about it too much but it was hard not to. you didn't want to be the type of s/o that didn't take their own priorities into consideration but it was hard not to. why was it so damn hard?

before you realised what was happening, hot tears streamed down your features as you bent down to pick up the last piece of confetti, but you rubbed at them harshly, wiping away any evidence of them.

why were you crying? it was just a birthday. he has other things to focus on.

but you were tired of having to fight a constant war with the sport. regardless of whether it was a choice between you and volleyball, you were always second place. you'd never win. you had only been together since middle school. volleyball has been his life. how could you replace something that felt so eternal to him?

it took you an hour to clean up, finally deciding to hop into a hot shower to rid yourself of the disappointment you had felt prior. there were still a few slices of cake left that you were just planning to snack on as you caught up on a few of the shows that you hadn't had the chance to catch up on due to schoolwork and your part-time job.

it would have been a quiet evening if the doorbell didn't ring three hours later, just a few seconds till midnight. your birthday would be over then and he had yet to send you a single wish. no texts. no delayed calls. no apolgetic smiles. there was nothing.

"speak of the devil." your words held no expression in your ears but to him it felt menacing, like knives slowly prodding their way into his heart. you looked deflated.

"happy birthday y/n." the words that you wanted to hear left his lips but they didn't give you a feeling of warmth and comfort that they usually would.

blue were the colour of his lips; blue from the ice-like tendrils that winter brought with it this evening. in his hands, he held a bouquet of assorted flowers: roses, tulips, daises and many more that you couldn't name but they were wrapped delicately in cellophane with a blue ribbon holding the stems together, a card cradled between his long fingers, shaking from the cold.

you could tell from the beads of sweat that dripped down his face and the pungent smell of body odour that he was of course practising — all day presumably, seeing as the last text that she received from his was from yesterday: tooru commenting on how similar you and this meme looked. it wasn't that funny but you laughed because you enjoyed hearing how raspy his voice sounded at twilight. it was really small but you found pleasure in conversing with his vulnerable side, a side that to this day still feels foreign to you.

"it's a little late for that don't you think?" you muse, taking the bouquet and card from his hands and placing it on the table beside you, sarcasm dripping from your tone. "but i appreciate the thought. afterall, i didn't think that my boyfriend would have forgotten about it."

"i know, i know and i'm sorry! i promise i'll make it up to you if you just give me another chance-"

"you said that before tooru. and you forgot again." you could feel tears begging to fall. "you know i was expecting you to come out of that kitchen door, holding the birthday cake that my friends made me? they said that you promised them. but now i'm just wondering whether those promises will ever hold true...."

he's been through this process before. even if you were his first proper relationship, the others that he'd claimed to be flings had started with those self-same words.... and the ending was always bittersweet. he didn't want to lose you. of course this relationship had its ups and downs, from the fear of it ruining their long-term friendship to the fear of not being able to give you enough time. all those thoughts had left his mind when you said those three words to him during the countdown to new year, and were now re-emerging from a closed wound.

"please," his hand reached for yours, thumbs massaging your skin. "please don't say what i think you're going to say."

"well i don't want to say it either," you said bitterly, your teeth gnawing the inside of your fleshed out cheek. "but maybe it's for the best. you have other things in your life that you need to focus on. i've only ever been an obstacle. i think we both just need some space to figure things out...."

"but y/n please! i still-"

"damn it oikawa! just leave, please!" and they finally fell, accompanying the wimpering bottom lip. it hurts. it hurts so much.

damn these tears. you knew that this was for the best.

in fact, it would be perfect.

maybe he'd be able to think about whether staying together as a couple was doing him more harm than good? maybe he'd be able to come to the conclusion that he was slowly falling out of love? maybe he would understand that you both wanted different things and had different goals.

he stood still for a few seconds, eyes wide in disbelief. it wasn't until you closed the door that you heard his choked cries, echoing into the deep of the night and fading away alongside his body.

maybe. just maybe.

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#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! #oikawa fluff #oikawa angst #oikawa torū #oikawa x you #oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa fic #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa imagine #myworks