abrahams-rib

[abrahams-rib]

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[abrahams-rib]

A letter to my Mother - Forgiveness

When I was younger I never felt safe. My earliest memories are filled with all the trauma that took place. I can’t even remember the face of my mother, my sister or brothers. All I remember is the hate and the anger. The constant feeling of being in danger and the perpetual thought of not existing would’ve been a much better fate. At any rate, I was mad. With intermittent feelings of being sad but most of all I wish I had someone to really love me. Not touch me and rub me in places that were meant to be hid. I was only a kid when you told me you didn’t like who I was. When I first felt your disdain, I was only a child trying her best to maneuver through the pain. Weren’t you the same? I saw you with man after man, I saw you searching for love. I was too. Young and in my youth I sought the truth of what lied between my thighs when I should’ve been hearing it from you I let men fill me with lies. I cried. More often than not, desiring your physical touch or at least my fathers I figured if y’all couldn’t be bothered then why should I care? Tried to kill myself off pills once upset that life wasn’t fair. I would just stare at my body and wish I wasn’t there. I needed you back then and it just seemed like you didn’t even care. I grew more angry with you, every year that went by. Not just because you didn’t protect me but because I had to lie every day about the fact that I wasn’t fine. But you know what? I think you could see that sometimes. I just wonder why you didn’t stop me before I got so much worse. I didn’t know my worth I looked to you and I thought seeking validation through men was the thing to do. Then I had a child of my own. Now I understand how sometimes you can be grown and still be a child inside. And I cried some more but this time I allowed my knees to hit the floor. It took me some time, some searching and I failed a few times. I stopped looking to you or dad and started looking within. I could no longer hide. Y’all gave me all that y’all had. Healing took years. Accepting and conquering my fears. I would be all tears for days as I raged and shed all that dead weight I had been carrying all these years. I new that forgiveness was near but then there was you. My mother it’s true but it’s like the space between us was the same or it grew. I was still angry that you refused to admit where it was that you went wrong. All along I had to remember I was like that too. Like a child throwing fits I didn’t want to admit the part I played in my own life. How I caused a lot of my own strife.. it’s hard being accountable for self. But it’s the only thing that helps. I plead to you, that we may break this curse. Let us be the first mother and daughter in our family to forgive and put love first over our feelings. Let us take control of healing. I love you dear mother, and I always will. Take my hand on this journey, I just want us to heal.

Sincerely, Your Daughter

#healing #hebrew israelites #growth #motherhood #lessons learned #wisdom #venting #forgiveness

[abrahams-rib]

Correction is love.

I remember being married to my first husband and how I thought that his correction was proof of his opposition against me. I had difficulty being accountable and had the tendency to make excuses whenever my behaviour was brought up. I wasn't who I thought I was and that bothered me. I thought I was a good woman, a good mother and a good candidate to be a great wife. I was no where near close because I didn't have the very basic understanding that correction is love. When you fight correction you are literally fighting your own growth. Reproof can hurt but so can growing. Have you ever heard of growing pains? They are real, both physically and spiritually. I had to learn the hard way through shame and embarrassment because my will was so strong to always be right and not be seen as what I was portraying myself to be I held myself back for a very long time. Not all of us will have years to get our lives together or to change our character or break these generational curses. Mishlei (Proverbs) has much to say about one that does not like correction. Mishlei 15:10 says "Correction is grievous unto him that forsakes the way: and he that hates reproof shall die." I personally, would much rather live. Sirach says "As His mercy is great, so is his correction also; he judges a man according to his works..." I praise His name today because I know that without being put through the fire I would not be the refined woman of Yah that I am today. My first marriage ended in divorce simply because of my own hate for correction. I have to be accountable because there is no repentance without accountability. I do believe that it was a test to see if I got the lesson. My husband I today can reprove me and I accept it with joy in my heart because I now understand where it comes from. Like Yah, he wants to see me at my best. Like Yah he can see things about myself that I don't even notice. Correction is love and I won't let anything in this wicked world convince me otherwise.

#correction #love #the most high #wife #isha

[abrahams-rib]

My husband and I tend to have these deep conversations and when I can remember to, I like to record them, without him knowing (which he is okay with) I believe I am building ammo for an upcoming podcast. This was right out of bed on Shabbat I only caught the end of it, this is what we wake up and fall asleep talking about. All Praises To The Most High YA'OH.

[abrahams-rib]

Misconceptions of the Hebrew Israelite Woman

I have seen far too often on social media other women of color coming to very wrong conclusions about Israelite women. Especially christians and this is what fascinates me. The only difference between the two groups (black christian women and israelite women) is that one group keeps the scriptures to the best of their abilities and the other only proclaims to. For me it doesn't matter what you label yourself, what truly matters is how you are showing forth your beliefs. Scripture tells women how they should be, and it also gives us examples through women like Sarah. If you are a descendant of the slave trade and have ancestors that endured the 400 years of curses/slavery spoke of in Deuteronomy then you must also understand that you are a child of Israel. If you are a woman, this understanding comes with certain expectations; submission, modesty, meekness and humility are pillars that hold us firm in the word, truth and light that is our Ala'aym YA'OH or as some know Him (Yah, Yahweh, God). Proverbs 31 is often referenced to describe a good woman but in order to make it to that position you would first have to be a wife. In order to become a wife you must live and prove yourself daily through submission and humility. This can be shown through covering your body with modesty, guarding your lips by speaking less, giving men respect and taking care of your temple by saving yourself for marriage. These are all biblical qualities any woman that claims to believe in the scriptures should exemplify. Sirach 25 is a great chapter to study as a woman, to make sure that you do not fit any of those descriptions. The contention between sisters that claim to believe the same book hopefully will come to an end very soon. YA'OH is looking down on us as women and expecting us to follow his word and keep his commandments. As a woman , in my opinion, as a Yasharaliy (Israelite) our main goal is to become wives and mothers. There is no greater assignment that Yah has given us, and our men need us to put our pride aside and take our place by their sides as ribs. We are needed in that capacity and the false reality this Babylon has created has caused much confusion. Hence why He who finds a wife finds a good thing.. It's too many sisters that think so many other things are more important than keeping the Most High's word. May Yah continue to show our sisters who He is to their Face so that the truth of the matter can no longer be denied.

"I had rather dwell with a lion and a dragon, than to keep house with a wicked woman." Sirach (Ecclesiasticus) 25:17

#hebrew israelites #israelites #black hebrew israelites #yahuah #obedient #meekness #truthoflife #christian inspiration #christianity #christianwomen #christianmen #hallelujah #sirach #BLACK JEWS #kyrie irving #BLOG #TIKTOK #black power

[abrahams-rib]

Proactive Parenting vs Reactive Parenting

I often times think about how I was raised, especially when it comes time to deal with certain situations with my own child. Due to my own abuse, I thought just providing my sons materialistic needs were enough. I didn't want to "abuse" him like how I was, with constant beatings and degrading language so I did the polar opposite and spoiled him in a sense. I needed him to know I loved him, so my form of discipline was very reactionary instead of proactive. I didn't realize until it was presented to me that I was actually still in my own way neglecting my child. I want to be clear and let it be known that I do not believe a woman can raise a child alone. Children need their fathers or a father figure in their lives, it's very important for many reasons whether it be a little girl or a little boy. I was raising my son of the preconceived notion that life would eventually work things out for him, that the behaviour problems I saw would eventually go away.. like he would grow out of them. Boy, was I delusional because that is not how life works or the proper way to raise a child. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it" I was not instilling the proper discipline or healthy skills and character for him to become a good child and eventually a good man. Not only that I was still healing from the trauma of my own childhood thinking that I can just do the bare minimum and things would be okay. It was only when I began to heal from what I went through as a child was I able to see the damage I had done on my son. Raising a child is a lot like programming, much like how this wicked world tries to do to us all on a daily basis. I had to gut out everything we both thought we knew about our Mother - Son relation and re-install healthy and functional qualities. I came to notice that over time without noticing I was less of a parent to my son and more of a friend. It took a little over a year of deprogramming, introducing new discipline, following the scriptures guidelines in Sirach on raising a child, and remaining firm and consistent. To be honest I failed more than a few times, and I caved when I saw him cry still worried he might think that what I was doing was abuse. I second guessed myself and reacted out of emotion more times than I want to admit. I love my child but I had to realize that cockering him was not love and would inevitably lead to his downfall as a adult. Now with him almost being 8 we are at a point where he expects consequences for his actions and he is a lot less entitled than he used to be. Thodah Abba Ya.

I remember growing up how there was so much yelling, I was never allowed to ask why and everything no matter if it was an accident or a childlike mistake led to a severe beating or punishment. The thing that I like about gentle/proactive parenting is that it allows the child to participate in there discipline and gain better understanding of the lesson by asking questions and getting the opportunity to feel shame and repentance on their own. For example, say your child spills something, they were never supposed to have in the first place. Instead of snatching them up and whooping them or punishing them, you ask what happened and allow them the space to be honest. The child is honest and then you inquire about why they did what they did, then you tell them that it's their responsibility to then clean up or repair whatever it is they made a mess of. While you watch them fix their own mess you ask them what they could have done differently, you advise them on the better thing to do and by the end of it, if you have been raising your child well from a young age they should apologize because they were not met with wrath but rather disappointment which I have learned has a much stronger effect. I am still on a journey as a mother and I know I have more to learn as my son grows and I have more children. I am excited to see how YA'OH's plan comes forth in our lives. If you are a parent I wish you well in your journey as you heal and learn to parent your children in the most healthy way.

#parenting #motherhood #singlemother #growth #discipline

[abrahams-rib]

The Softest Chocolate Chip Cookies EVER

This recipe has become a weekly staple in my household. The cookies melt in your mouth and can be made from scratch easily. The flour can be substituted and the sugars can be substituted as well, the amounts just need to remain the same. Baking is trial and error, some substitutions could lead to a different quality and at that point measurements may need to be adjusted. You can also add caramel chips or peanuts to this recipe as well.

Ingredients

1 tsp baking soda

2 tsp cornstarch

1 - 2 cups unbleached flour

1 half tsp of sea salt or table salt

1/2 cup or more of semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 room temperature large egg

1.5 sticks of unsalted butter at room temperature

2 tsp of vanilla extract

3/4 cup of brown sugar

1/3 cup of white sugar

Instructions

mix all wet ingredients first; the butter, sugar, egg, and vanilla extract

whisk by hand or machine all wet ingredients until well blended

mix baking soda, flour, salt, cornstarch, and 1 cup of flour into separate bowl

slowly begin to fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients ( I like to use a rubber spatula for this part)

at this point the dough will be pretty sticky, slowly add no more than 1 more cup of flour to get a thicker batter

mix in chocolate chips

the batter should slightly stick to the sides of the bowl but come off easily and be slightly on the fluffy side

place dough securely in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 45 min to 1 hour or place in freezer for 25-30 min

bake for 12-15 minutes at 350 degrees on parchment paper (at the 12 min mark check the cookies you want them to look slightly brown, they may need just a few minutes more)

take out and enjoy (:

#baking #chocolate chip cookies #homemaking

[abrahams-rib]

Beautiful scenery.

[abrahams-rib]

Trauma - You are a Victor not a Victim

I had a very interesting conversation with my mother last night. More often than not, she allows a evil ruach to use her and it decides that on any given time that time is good to try my faith. Without provocation I was asked why was I different than all the rest of her children when I was raised the same. It was such a loaded question, because she wasn't just referencing to my behavior she was also referencing my beliefs. It is amazing how parents who aided in their own children's trauma conveniently get amnesia in conversations like these. I don't mean to get too personal and if you are sensitive I advice you to read with caution but I have to let this out. I was molested since I was 2 years old by mothers husband and various cousins, then at 11 I was raped. Over the past couple years Yahuah has taken me through a very existence beginner healing program, as I like to call it. I had to face a lot of things I was suppressing and he used a failed marriage of all things to show me that I was not the woman that I thought I was. It was very revealing and healing all at one time. Now my trauma does not move me the way that it did, I understand it better now and I'm no longer mad at Yah for what I went through. Trauma is a very interesting thing. I personally experienced major memory loss, mood swings, and body detachment. I had eating disorders and self image issues for a long time and for a long time I did not tell anyone what I was going through. I internalized everything. This is what my mother blames me for, not telling anyone the truth of what happened. To that I just say as a parent you have to be aware of your child, I told her that I showed her in many other ways outside of outright saying it. I said it with my behavior, my anger, my sadness. I told her that she wasn't listening and was selfish. So many women her age, lack accountability when it comes to how their children turned out. I hypersexualized myself and didn't value my body because no one ever taught me to and now being on the other side of that and now being engaged to the man The Most High prepared me for I see things for what they really are. I can only imagine how may of my sisters have faced trauma alone, crying out for help but never knew the right words to speak or rather no one was truly paying attention. I can only imagine how many of my sisters have a dysfunctional relationship with their mother that is clearly jealous of them and is being used by evil ruach to lead them astray. I pray for my sisters and their trauma. Understand, I blame my mother for nothing. I understand her just like I understand myself, my mother experienced trauma as well, and because she has not surrendered her will to the Most High her trauma still owns her. You can not heal without first allowing Yah to take charge in your life. It's scary to not be in control anymore, especially after experiencing sexual trauma or any kind of abuse but I will tell you the only reason I feel safe like I do is because my Elohiym will never leave or forsake me and as long as I remain obedient and do what I am supposed to do I will always have a covering. Now I am able to heal and think clearly, now I am regaining my memory, now I can not be gaslit in conversations and now I finally know who I am. HalleluYAH. I will pray for my mother because that is the right thing to do, I will pray that Yah opens her heart and her mind and she accepts her healing too. For any sisters out there that need healing I pray you find and accept your healing as well and embrace the discomfort that comes with allowing YAH to move and change things in your life. Know that you are powerful and no longer powerless, when you surrender it all to the Most High.

#childhood trauma #ptsd #trauma #motherdaughter

[abrahams-rib]

SUBMISSION.

This testimony is for my sisters. I came into the truth about 3 years ago. As a woman I thought that The Most High would be enough for me. I stopped having sex, I stopped masturbating and watching porn. I changed my eating habits, no more shrimp or catfish. I cut off friends and got baptized under Israel Of God church. I was keeping the commandments and truly believed that I was becoming a woman of Yah, a daughter of Israel. The funny thing is Yah tends to cut in right when we think we have some type of control or understanding over our lives. I was still following my own will, believing that I didn't need to be married believing that Yah being my covering was enough. In my own world I had myself convinced that I was a righteous, submissive, and a humble woman. At heart I like to think I was, but in practice I was not. Yah had to correct me in my misunderstanding. I met a brother and we got married, I was his second wife. It all happened so fast, but I knew that it was Yah placing me in his life. This marriage showed me what I refused to see about myself while I was alone. I was hurt. I was disrespectful and held a hatred for men due to my trauma, I never dealt with anything. I was not submissive or humble, at least not how I thought I was. I was a hinderance in my child's discipline and growth and I was constantly making excuses. I was ashamed to discover I wasn't who I thought I was. I became depressed and before I accepted my own flaws I ran from them. I projected them, I miscommunicated my thoughts and intentions and my actions seldom lined up with my words. Yah had to humble me because I would not choose to humble myself. Submission is truly a woman's super power and I convinced myself in that marriage that submission made me weak. Now divorced, being asked to leave, I realize what Yah was showing me. Even though I thought that I was better because I knew the truth that didn't make me a good woman, wife or mother. That was hard to accept. I had to learn the true order of things. I had to be brought low, I had to feel shame in order to get the true healing that I desired. I appreciate the humbling I experienced because now I honor covenants more, I understand what it is to be meek now. I know what it looks like to allow a man to lead, I know how to properly discipline my child now, I know how to remain in my place as a woman now. Most importantly I am comfortable in my place as a woman. I love it here. Submission, meekness, and humility are truly super powers for a woman. Yah showed me how when you accept your lesson and pass the test that He will give you the Baraka (blessing) that is on the other end. HalleluYAH for His longsuffering, grace and mercy. I see many of my sisters fighting against their humbling and not wanting to feel shame but also at the time not realizing that on the other side of that is true healing. Yah has now baruch (blessed) me with a man that he molded me specifically for because I accepted and learned my lesson. I passed that test by killing my flesh and laying down my own will and accepting my shame I brought on myself. Now I can be submissive because it is in my nature and character to be so. Now I listen more than I reply, now I am teachable and had I not been brought low none of this would be possible. I thought I was worth something when I first came into this Truth but I had not ever truly experienced pressure from Yah and therefore I was nothing but a stone. After the pressing, I can see the edges of rubies shining through me. Through correction and the practice of submission I am becoming that virtuous woman spoke of in Proverbs 31. I have learned it's not just about can I cook or clean or work hard, it's about can I listen and submit. These are what creates the whole package and these qualities require work if you are anything like me. I was raised by "strong, independent' women, who did not respect men and did not value marriage. I am here to break generational curses, what about you sis?

#submission #israelites #hebrew israelites #sisters #growth