arandomuser17

[arandomuser17]

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Gentle Spirit

[arandomuser17]

something i feel like queer ppl have been steadily forgetting over the last ten years or so is that “genderqueer” isn’t a specific nonbinary term, or even a synonym for nonbinary - it’s an umbrella term that encompasses nonbinariness and more. 

any flavour of trans (yes including “binary trans”)? you can call yourself genderqueer. fem, butch, androgynous, drag artist, crossdresser, or in any other way gnc? you can also use genderqueer. detrans but not in a radfem death cult kind of way? you too can be genderqueer. “i guess i’m basically cis but my other queer identity impacts my gender in a way that’s hard to put into words-” genderqueer!

it’s entirely acceptable and normal to be genderqueer but not nonbinary or genderqueer but not trans. it means literally nothing but “i’ve got a gender that’s queer” and it fucking rules we should use it so much more

#genderqueer #i love this label #although I'm also nonbinary

[arandomuser17]

What to do if you find yourself homless- written by someone who has actually been homeless

Most important: Spend the money you have on a motel. Churches probably will not actually help and shelters can be dangerous or turn you away. At a motel you have free breakfast, access to running water, and a lockable place to sleep. Do not waste money on a gym membership like the popular version of this post says to do, YMCA memberships are like $40.

2. Contact family and friends. Now is not the time to worry about being a burden. Your survival and safety comes first and that is all that matters, anyone worth having in your life will agree.

3. Start a gofundme. Even if someone can’t offer you a place to stay, they might be willing to toss out $5 so you can eat today.

4. Libraries have free wifi. Apply to any and all jobs you can think of if you aren’t already working.

5. Any home is a good home. Even if it’s a dingy apartment in a bad neighborhood. If its cheap and you can afford it, snatch it up. 

6. Pancake mix and peanut butter are filling, cheap, and last a long time.

PLEASE SHARE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS

#this may help someone #homelessness

[arandomuser17]

Probably this message will get lost in the depths of the internet, but still... I need to put this somewhere. I kind of desperately need someone to listen to this rant.

Being out as trans is fucking exhausting.

I mean, I already feel privileged because I've told my friends and I haven't really gotten treated like shit for it. But still.

I try to be as understanding as possible. I mean, my friends haven't seen my process of questioning and everything. I haven't really opened up about it, because I was so fucking ashamed of myself... Until some personal stuff happened, and I realised that I was pretending, and not really living.

So I gathered all the courage I had and I told my friends about being nonbinary. They asked me if I wanted to be called in a different way and I didn't know how to answer.

Because I was so scared of rejection that I hadn't even thought that acceptance could be a possibility.

So then I thought about it, and a while later I told my friends that I wanted to be called with a different name and different pronouns.

And it's been a couple of weeks. But they've been the most exhausting ever. Because most people keep slipping up and calling me with my old name and pronouns. And I try not to be upset about it, because I know that they're trying. But at first they seemed sorry when they accidentally misgendered me... While now they seem not.

I mean, it seems that they don't really get the importance of it for me. And I don't really know how to explain it to them. Not without looking...I don't know, annoying?

And I'm also hella confused, because I talk about myself in a way, and some of them (mostly) do in another, and I feel uneasy.

I feel guilty for putting them in this situation.

I get asked to be understanding, but they really don't know how understanding I already am.

How painful all of this is. How important this whole thing is for me, and how scared I am.

How difficult it is to find the words to talk about being nonbinary in a completely binary language (and world in general!).

And then there are also all the other contexts where I can't even dare to come out, because I'd put myself at risk.

#non binary #trans #transgender #genderqueer #coming out #rant #lgbtq+ #tw swearing #vent

[arandomuser17]

Hey everyone, I've changed my name IRL! (Although not on official documents)

Also, thank you for the tags in the games, I'll try to do them when I have time :)

#my thoughts

[arandomuser17]

reminder that when you start getting angry online, go offline. i know lots of people know this already but lots don’t and plenty others need a reminder. there’s a lot of stuff online meant to make you mad. there’s a lot of people who get off on making you mad. there are people out there so convinced of their own beliefs that there’s no point trying to discuss with them. blacklist tags, block people, scroll away, and sometimes, take a breath and step back. hate-scrolling is so easy to fall into but you might not realise how much it’s affecting you until it’s too late

#reminder

[arandomuser17]

Thank you for the tag!! And sorry it took me so long, lol

Last song:

Watching: weeeeell... It's been so long since I last watched a TV series that I don't actually remember, lol

Reading: "The order of time" (Carlo Rovelli) + "Nausea" (Jean-Paul Sartre)

Current obsession: physics + trans stuff

Tagging: @transsexual-isopod-god @bog-o-mine @rue-cimon @romanticvampire @low-wisdom @arbielikestrains @my-ancient-marss @artemis-aro @panicking-skywalker @theinsomniacindian :D

Tagged by @rubberduckymondays to post

Last song:

Watching: The X Files

Reading: The Body Keeps the Score and Compassionate Satanism

Current obsession: X Files and kinky stuff 😂

Tagging:

@casserole2911

@lingonberryjamistakenwhat

@squirms-mckenzie

If you wanna!

#tag game

[arandomuser17]

My gender is a beautiful day

Lol, I loved this

No pressure: @klavierpanda @transsexual-isopod-god @rue-cimon @romanticvampire @low-wisdom @arbielikestrains @my-ancient-marss @artemis-aro @panicking-skywalker @theinsomniacindian @vancrypt

Type "my gender is" on your phone and let your phone finish the sentence, then tag your moots to keep the chain going, I'll go first.

My gender is a little bit more intense than I thought I could have done

@mirukosbitchywife @get-junpeid

#tag game #gender

[arandomuser17]

people love it when lesbians are some guy until those lesbians are actually some guy.

people love lesbian masculinity, lesbians who use he/him and lesbians who are just some guy, and lesbians who call themselves boys and men and guys and dudes, and lesbians who are indistinguishable from men until they come too close to actually being men.

people love it when you blur the lines between gender, but they don't want you to blur it too much, otherwise you're not a real lesbian and you're invading lesbian spaces. if you blur the lines too much, flirt with the concept of being a man too much then you might as well be committing a hate crime because you explored gender in the wrong direction.

accepting that gender is a spectrum includes acknowledging that yeah, that spectrum includes lesbian gender, and yes, sometimes lesbian gender overlaps with being an actual honest to god guy. this is not something that will change, so i recommend making peace with it.

[arandomuser17]

Like and reblog if your account is a safe space for trans lesbians. It feels like trans lesbians in particular get shamed and ridiculed a lot by people in and out of the community. If you’re reading this I want to let you know you’re valid and I hope your safe and doing well.

#lgbtqia+

[arandomuser17]

International Non-Binary People's Day

🦇 Good morning, bookish bats! It's International Non-Binary People's Day! Looking to add some great non-binary books to your ever-growing TBR? Here are books from authors who publicly identify as non-binary, starring characters that are non-binary, too! Which are you reading first?

✨ Fiction ✨ 💛 She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan 🤍 Loveless by Alice Oseman 💜 Nettleblack by Nat Reeve 🖤 Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor 💛 Truth & Dare by So Mayer 🤍 X by Davey Davis 💜 Chlorine by Jade Song 🖤 Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee 💛 I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver 🤍 On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden 💜 Pet by Akwaeke Emezi 🖤 The Discomfort of Evening by Marieke Lucas Rijneveld 💛 The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey 🤍 The Black Tides of Heaven by Neon Yang 💜 Outlawed by Anna North 🖤 An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon 💛 The Heartbreak Bakery by A. R. Capetta 🤍 Bianca Torre Is Afraid of Everything by Justine Pucella Winans 💜 Jamie by L. D. Lapinski 🖤 Mordew by Alex Pheby

✨ Non-Fiction ✨ 💛 In Their Shoes by Jamie Windust 🤍 Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon 💜 Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe 🖤 Gender Euphoria by Laura Kate Dale 💛 A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson 🤍 What’s the T? The No-nonsense Guide to All Things Trans And/or Non-binary for Teens by Juno Dawson 💜 Life Isn’t Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between by Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker

#i love this #nonbinary #book recs #queer #lgbtqia+

[arandomuser17]

Thank you so much!!! I like your blog too :D

Oh and also

@transsexual-isopod-god @bog-o-mine @rue-cimon @romanticvampire @low-wisdom @arbielikestrains @my-ancient-marss @artemis-aro @panicking-skywalker @theinsomniacindian @vancrypt @thegyusorcerer :))

I'm gonna try to start a random chain (it probably won't work because I don't have a lot of followers but idc)

Just tag a few blogs u like and hope they awnser until it takes like 3 minutes to get to the bottom of the post lol

@lalaverdecia @meekspoetssociety @dazeddoodles @eighties-toons @leovaldiva3uwu @mythingsandstuff @spiritual-activity @that-thing-on-your-shoe

[arandomuser17]

So cute!!! Thank you for the tag :)

I'm tagging, but no pressure: @klavierpanda @transsexual-isopod-god @bog-o-mine @romanticvampire @low-wisdom @arbielikestrains @my-ancient-marss @artemis-aro @panicking-skywalker @theinsomniacindian @vancrypt :)

WOWIE FIRST TIME STARTING A PICREW CHAIN BC I REALLY LIKED THIS ONE

MAKE YOURSELF A CATSONA WITH THIS CUTE PICREW !!!

@mishkakagehishka @catboyknots @nightingale-memoir @hxneylavendxr @catzakis @mutsuowo @bluestbluejay @niicookie @acanthemp3 and lol i won't tag every mutual so that you other mfs have some left to tag in yours

#picrew #tag game

[arandomuser17]

I came out as enby to a friend and it actually went well! I'm so happy about it :)

#personal #nonbinary #coming out

[arandomuser17]

Thank you for the tag!!

No pressure: @rue-cimon @transsexual-isopod-god @bog-o-mine @romanticvampire @low-wisdom @arbielikestrains @my-ancient-marss @artemis-aro @panicking-skywalker :)

Was tagged by @ladamebrunette and @frankenbition for the picrew train, thank you both <3

I gave myself a littol elven ears. As a treat.

Tagging @lilas @joy-fires @galpal95 @nethlies @shanaraharlyah without any pressure

#picrews #long post #tag game

[arandomuser17]

So what I’ve learned from the past couple months of being really loud about being a bi woman on Tumblr is: A lot of young/new LGBT+ people on this site do not understand that some of the stuff they’re saying comes across to other LGBT+ people as offensive, aggressive, or threatening. And when they actually find out the history and context, a lot of them go, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I never meant to say that.”

Like, “queer is a slur”: I get the impression that people saying this are like… oh, how I might react if I heard someone refer to all gay men as “f*gs”. Like, “Oh wow, that’s a super loaded word with a bunch of negative freight behind it, are you really sure you want to put that word on people who are still very raw and would be alarmed, upset, or offended if they heard you call them it, no matter what you intended?”

So they’re really surprised when self-described queers respond with a LOT of hostility to what feels like a well-intentioned reminder that some people might not like it. 

That’s because there’s a history of “political lesbians”, like Sheila Jeffreys, who believe that no matter their sexual orientation, women should cut off all social contact with men, who are fundamentally evil, and only date the “correct” sex, which is other women. Political lesbians claim that relationships between women, especially ones that don’t contain lust, are fundamentally pure, good, and  unproblematic. They therefore regard most of the LGBT community with deep suspicion, because its members are either way too into sex, into the wrong kind of sex, into sex with men, are men themselves, or somehow challenge the very definitions of sex and gender. 

When “queer theory” arrived in the 1980s and 1990s as an organized attempt by many diverse LGBT+ people in academia to sit down and talk about the social oppressions they face, political lesbians like Jeffreys attacked it harshly, publishing articles like “The Queer Disappearance of Lesbians”, arguing that because queer theory said it was okay to be a man or stop being a man or want to have sex with a man, it was fundamentally evil and destructive. And this attitude has echoed through the years; many LGBT+ people have experience being harshly criticized by radical feminists because being anything but a cis “gold star lesbian” (another phrase that gives me war flashbacks) was considered patriarchal, oppressive, and basically evil.

And when those arguments happened, “queer” was a good umbrella to shelter under, even when people didn’t know the intricacies of academic queer theory; people who identified as “queer” were more likely to be accepting and understanding, and “queer” was often the only label or community bisexual and nonbinary people didn’t get chased out of. If someone didn’t disagree that people got to call themselves queer, but didn’t want to be called queer themselves, they could just say “I don’t like being called queer” and that was that. Being “queer” was to being LGBT as being a “feminist” was to being a woman; it was opt-in.

But this history isn’t evident when these interactions happen. We don’t sit down and say, “Okay, so forty years ago there was this woman named Sheila, and…” Instead we queers go POP! like pufferfish, instantly on the defensive, a red haze descending over our vision, and bellow, “DO NOT TELL ME WHAT WORDS I CANNOT USE,” because we cannot find a way to say, “This word is so vital and precious to me, I wouldn’t be alive in the same way if I lost it.” And then the people who just pointed out that this word has a history, JEEZ, way to overreact, go away very confused and off-put, because they were just trying to say.

But I’ve found that once this is explained, a lot of people go, “Oh wow, okay, I did NOT mean to insinuate that, I didn’t realize that I was also saying something with a lot of painful freight to it.”

And that? That gives me hope for the future.

#queer history #queer community #lgbtq+

[arandomuser17]

Life update

I've finally cut my hair and I look queer af. I love that!!

But I'm also going through grief and that sucks :(

#my thoughts #queer #trans #loss #grief