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the-beefening
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i got a boyfriend!!!! it seems like he can heal all my wounds!
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my brain: your disorder makes you unlovable, you’re abusive and everyone would be better off without you
me, plugging my ears and screaming at the top of my lungs: i am better than my disorder, i am a good person and care about others and my friends love me and would be sad if i died
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Me: God, i want cuddles and kisses and physical attention!!
Person: *touches me in the slightest way possible*
Me:
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What therapy is really like
Me: i wanna get hit by a car
Her: what kind of car?
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#mental disorder#mental health#mentally ill#depressing thoughts#actually bpd#bpd#bpd problems#actually borderline#avpd#avoidant personality disorder#actuallyavoidant#self destruction#intrusive thoughts
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*at a job interview*
employer: what is your greatest strength?
me: professionally avoid social contacts
#mental illness#mentally ill#mental disorder#actually avpd#actually avoidant#avpd#social anxious#anxitey#bpd problems#borderline personality disorder#bpd#actually borderline#actually bpd#self destruction#depressive
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when you wanna do something self destructive but your lack of energy prevents it: mental health equilibrium
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a horribly honest comic about my biggest problem atm, jealousy. and my irrational emotions.
jealousy is a difficult emotion and hard to admit to, because it makes you a right out mean and petty person (or at least me.). I think people feel jealous for differing reasons. Perhaps this stuff is really obvious, but i guess it wasn’t for me. I feel pretty sad today! anyway i pray to the gods that i’m not the only one who gets these fears.
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self hatred swallows me whole and i wish it would leave my friends alone
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Intrusive thought: Hey, let’s remember something extremely gross and play the images over and over while you try to eat. Won’t that be fun?
Intrusive thought: Remember that horribly sad thing? Think about it until you break down crying.
Intrusive thought: *takes a deep breath* YoureAWorthlessGoodForNothingPatheticPileOfCrapAndEveryoneWantsYouDead
Intrusive thought: *while I am trying to sleep* Everyone’s asleep so if you tried to kill your self you’ll probably succeed before they find you! Btw, have I reminded you how sharp those kitchen knives are?
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I'll do anything for my friends, but they......they can't even respond to my message
#everyone hates me#i hate my life#i hate my body#mentally ill#mental illness#mental disorder#bpd problems#borderline personality disorder#bpd#actually bpd#actually borderline#self destruction#depressive#depressing thoughts#intrusive thoughts#who am i#i'm nothing
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no one really likes me
#mental illness#mentally ill#mental disorder#i hate my life#i'm nothing#bpd problems#borderline personality disorder#bpd#actually borderline#actually bpd#social anxious#anxitey#actually avpd#actually avoidant#avpd#who am i#self destruction#depressive#depressing thoughts#intrusive thoughts#i hate me#i deserve to suffer
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I got drunk yesterday (never did it before) and it was so cool I felt much better and I want to do it again and again and I'm afraid i can become an alcoholic
#mental illness#mentally ill#mental disorder#alcohol#i hate my life#intrusive thoughts#anxitey#self destruction#depressive#depressing thoughts#bpd problems#borderline personality disorder#bpd#actually borderline#actually bpd#social anxious#who am i#actually avpd#actually avoidant#avpd#personal
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sorry,
someone wrote me some good things, but I published it wrong. I still try to understand how tumblr work and it's difficult when English isn't my native language :(
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you’re doing great. keep it up! do whatever’s possible to stay happy. eat . have a good day. give yourself something to wake up for. it could be a sock, for all I care! just pick yourself up. you’re beautiful. I believe in you. try your best. I know you can do it.
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