charlieyadig

[charlieyadig]

[charlieyadig]

via architecturaldigest

[charlieyadig]

[charlieyadig]

Austria /  Dimitry Anikin

[charlieyadig]

Thank you, @aspirebelieverecover, for encouraging me to post these photos from our garden.

Sedum Ternatum, Woodland Stonecrop: https://worldofsucculents.com/sedum-ternatum-woodland-stonecrop/

#personal #photography #warmcore #witchblr #humblr #cottage witch #cottagecore #cottageblr #country #garden #succulent #plant #plants #aesthetic #artist #warm and cozy #gardening #witchcore

[charlieyadig]

7/22/2023

Mic check….. mic check……

*Ahem* Is this thing on?

I’ve stopped by to purge out my feelings… again. Surprisingly, my last post on this website was nearly a year ago. I don’t think I’ve journaled in that time. I’ve felt inspired by several major life changes. It’s important they’re documented and I’m sorting through my feelings as these changes happen right before my eyes.

We bought a three story house last month after coming from a tiny, one bedroom apartment. We have our own gardens to attend to now, and several rooms that need cleaning.

While I’ve been so grateful we have a home now (seriously, I’ve dreamed of having a home since I was 15!), I wasn’t anticipating just how much upkeep it would be. Cleaning can be therapeutic for me under certain conditions; I genuinely don’t mind it. However, cleaning for me has become tripled with a family of four living in one home. Again, wholeheartedly grateful, just different from what I normally had to keep up with.

Another major life change has been becoming a stay-at-home parent. I have been working since I was 15 years old, so this has mixed my perception of what it means to provide in ways that aren’t financial. I’ve felt “less than” because I’m not used to being at home, not working 20-40 hours a week. But I do so much as a provider at home to a house and children. I contribute in other ways that aren’t financial but are just as important for the function of my family and the quality of our lives.

I’ve had to come to terms about this after many nights crying, feeling like I wasn’t doing enough (after doing so much in actuality!!)

I have faith and hope that my life will balance out and won’t be as hectic in the coming months. We have so much to look forward to with a new home. New opportunities, memories, and fun.

#personal #humblr #journaling

[charlieyadig]

Pretty snow 🌲❄

[charlieyadig]

[charlieyadig]

x monkanbean

[charlieyadig]

Pumpkin Mini Loaf Cakes

[charlieyadig]

[charlieyadig]

Woe Is Me

TW: victim complex, mental illnesses, depression

I am a victim in my life. I have been several times over. I have unfair circumstances I couldn't control. They have indefinitely altered the way I think, feel, and how I process situations in my life. Let's not include the myriad mental illnesses that take hold of my thoughts, twisting them into devious lies that I have to pull myself away from.

Because I've perceived that the cards have always been stacked against me, I've adopted a severe victim complex and an "I can't" mentality. It's true that I do have limitations. There are things in my life right now I can't control but I have to believe will work out for me in the long run. I have to find a way to get out of this victim mentality I've been using to limit myself and start looking for ways to motivate me into healthier habits.

I have to take care of myself. I have to, but I haven't been. I've let myself sink mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Every week I tell myself I'll work on something to better my situation, but every week goes by the same. A pit of depression that grew into a crater. Negative self-talk that turned into pure hatred toward myself. Doubt that morphed into a lack of motivation for any care towards my life.

Change is a necessity at this point. I don't want each day to pass me by while I lay in bed, curtains closed, envisioning the life I could be living. I want to be out there making the life I want for myself. The thing I will have to open my mind to and be patient with are my mental illnesses. They do cripple my day-to-day life and are a big reason for my extremely negative views toward myself.

I have the ability to change my situation. I am more than capable of taking care of and loving myself. I don't want to wait tomorrow, or next week, or next month. I want to start now. I want to fail and love it. I want to try again because I am strong. I want to embrace that I will never have it figured out and just go with what the next day will bring.

I know I won't win every day. I know more challenges await me in the future. But I also know I can bounce back. I know that what I experience is more of a never ending wave and not a downward spiral. I can live a life of compassion, understanding, and kindness toward myself. That's ultimately where I want to start and I believe a lot of healthy habits will bloom from that.

The crater of depression will begin to fill. Pure hatred will be soothed over; calmed into love. I will find the joy in life again.

#personal #tw

[charlieyadig]

8/3/22

Plans for the day: - do dishes ✅ - put away laundry ✅ - talk to friends ✅ - help my grandmother - workout? (time permitted) ✅ - cook dinner ✅ - take medicine - go to work ✅

There's a lot going on today, but it's an opportunity to build healthy habits. I'd like to get chores out of the way so I have a clean house. Talking to and reaching out to friends is a necessity. I think I can fit in a workout while at my grandmother's or after. Then I have to cook dinner, take medicine, and go to work. It can be a little overwhelming when I think about it as a whole, so listing everything out is helpful to me. I'm also going to see if there's an app or something specifically for organizing that could send me timed reminders to do things.

#personal

[charlieyadig]

[charlieyadig]

🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓

May your August be filled with love and growth.

🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓🌿🍓

[charlieyadig]

A Dose of Reality 8/2/22

TW: mentions of su*c*de, bipolar, mental illness

I've really gotten myself into a rut this time.

As I look around at my life and reflect, I see an indicator of a very unhealthy person. I see habits that I've formed that don't benefit my existence. I see myself doing things contradictory to what I need. I impulsively spend, over eat, and talk down to myself daily. I've stopped talking to friends, I hardly go out, and I have no spiritual guidance to lean on. I've lost interest in a lot of the things I enjoy and I've developed a deep victim complex.

I've essentially stopped taking the reins on my own life and I'm letting the horse drag me at this point.

I know I need to change things for myself or it'll only get worse. There's a mixture of pressure and pride cultivating this negative self-talk I have daily. I keep things in my head and forget what steps I need to take to work towards a better version of me. Right now this version of me is struggling a lot.

I figured writing about it would help me keep myself accountable. I'm also hoping I can talk better to myself through journaling. I really want to get to the root of some problems I've been having for years now. It's going to be a very messy dissection. I'm going to rip open some wounds and have very real conversations with myself.

I'm tired of the life I've been living and ready to make some type of change (hopefully for the better).

#personal

[charlieyadig]

MysticPrimrose

#witchblr #witches of tumblr #witchcraft #wicca #pagan #witchy things #witchy #magick #crystal witch #baby witch #witch aesthetic #crystals #witch community #wiccan #witches altar #witch’s alter #wiccan alter #crystal ball #pink witch #pastel witch