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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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*gently puts my mental health in rice*

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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Disclaimer, I am not a psychologist nor in the field of medicine. This post is purely my experience of a overdose on medication.

TW: Depression, suicide

Monday evening i took pills with the intent to take my own life. Within 15 minutes of taking the pills, I was unable to walk or move. My mother found me and attempted to make me throw up, which I too tried to engage in. Unfortunately, there was only mucus that was coming up. My friends arrived shortly thereafter, they managed to drag me to the bathroom and continued to try to make me throw up. At this point, there was mostly blood that was coming up. The ambulance was called and I was given an adrenaline shot, my BP was low and I was falling in and out of consciousness. They performed gastric suction to remove the excess medicine. I hardly remember the evening, my memory fades in and out. I was fine, then triggered and believed this would be the easy way out. My mother's cries ring seamlessly in my mind. I remember trying to get everything out and stay awake.

Tuesday morning I wake up in hospital, unsure of where I am and very disoriented. I ended up pulling my IV treatment out and screaming to go home. I was so scared. I had no phone, none of my belongings besides from a blanket that my mother gave me the night before. Shortly after waking up, the nausea hit and I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom throwing up. Unable to keep my balance, i was lucky enough to be close to the bathroom - stumbling my way there and back. Everything was a daze. The doctors came to test my vitals and take medical history. I was then seen by a psychologist and a psychiatrist, whom cleared me for discharge on the condition that I seek psychiatric assistance. Minutes felt like hours, I knew that I was going to be discharged at 15h30, but the day wasn't ending. After my consultation with the doctor, she explained that a lot of patients experience a similar situation when abruptly stopping anti depressants and anti anxiety medication - which i had done two weeks prior.

When I eventually got home, I struggled to keep my balance and felt sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I was still disoriented and unable to make sense of what was happening.

Wednesday morning I woke up, still a bit disoriented and exhausted - even after 12 hours of sleep the night before. It was a tough day, I couldn't move much and had no appetite. My mother made me food and insisted that I eat, even if it was just a few bites. I spent the day in bed, drinking a lot of fluids and resting.

Thursday morning, I could eventually walk again without the weakness. The lower abdomen pain remains, and still have a bit of a foggy mind. I tried to see the psychologist today but got so overwhelmed that I had a panic attack and had to leave. We managed to find another psychologist who I felt more comfortable with and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow morning.

My stomach is still very sore, my arms are covered in bruises from me pulling out the needles and my anxiety has skyrocketed.

I was lucky, I realized that life is fragile but beautiful. The smell of fresh flowers and the taste of coffee is priceless. I am still struggling with my mental health, probably now more than ever, but I want to fight this. I want to beat the inner demons.

In the moment, when you're so sure that suicide is the only option, nothing crossed my mind. If suicide has ever crossed your mind, even for a brief moment, please feel free to message me. I realized that it isn't worth it.

Rant over.

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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It feels like everyone is upset with me, like I've done something wrong all the time. I'm so insecure and I don't want to talk about it because im then a burden. People get tired of hearing the same things over and over again.

I don't feel good enough, I don't feel that I do enough and it is draining me. It is making me incompetent. All I want to do is sleep, because then surely, I haven't done anything wrong.

I walk around in a robotic state, scared to express my feelings. I have become oblivious to what is around me. I am officially living a mundane life.

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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#self love #self help #self healing #self care #self esteem #freeyoursoul #motivating myself #motivation #love #note to self

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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#self love #self help #self healing #self care #self esteem #freeyoursoul #motivating myself #motivation #love #note to self

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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#self love #self help #self healing #self care #self esteem #freeyoursoul #motivating myself #motivation #love #note to self

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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Whatever you believe, with conviction, becomes your reality, whether or not it is true or false.

#self love #self help #self healing #self care #self esteem #freeyoursoul #motivating myself #motivation #love #note to self

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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Happy Valentine's Day 💗

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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#self love #self help #self healing #self care #self esteem #mental health awareness #mental health #productivity #still procrastinating #procrastinating

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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What is General Anxiety Disorder?

General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is a common anxiety disorder that involves constant and chronic worrying, nervousness, and tension.

Signs and symptoms of GAD

Emotional Symptoms of GAD include:

Constant worries running through your head

Feeling like your anxiety is uncontrollable; there is nothing you can do to stop the worrying

Intrusive thoughts about things that make you anxious; you try to avoid thinking about them, but you can’t

An inability to tolerate uncertainty; you need to know what’s going to happen in the future

A pervasive feeling of apprehension or dread

Behavioral symptoms of GAD include:

Inability to relax, enjoy quiet time, or be by yourself

Difficulty concentrating or focusing on things

Putting things off because you feel overwhelmed

Avoiding situations that make you anxious

Physical symptoms of GAD include:

Feeling tense; having muscle tightness or body aches

Having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep because your mind won’t quit

Feeling edgy, restless, or jumpy

Stomach problems, nausea, diarrhea

Grounding Technique

search for five things they can see

search for four things they can touch

search for three things they can hear

search for two things they can smell

search for one thing they can taste

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad.htm#:~:text=GAD%20is%20a%20common%20anxiety,that%20colors%20your%20whole%20life.

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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If you're mentally ill it's honestly going to be extremely hard to maintain close friendships with people you have to pretend to be well around all the time

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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My psychologist always tells me, "be intentional about your healing" and I think more people need to hear that.

Mental illnesses become such a norm because you've experienced it for a long time, that when trying to heal, it is more difficult. It is a challenge that hardly anyone understands. It takes you out of your comfort zone.

Heal with intent.

My DM's are always open for those that need to vent.

#self love #self help #self healing #self care #self esteem #psychology #mental illness #mental health #mental health awareness #mental help

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dangerouslypsycho · 3 years

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