graciouslittlethings

[graciouslittlethings]

My Love Affair With P

My love affair with P began when I was 10. In all truthfulness, I don't quite remember how old I was (I think it was 10 years old) but at least, I know it definitely happened when I was in primary school. It was a very unusual experience for one so young, even I admit that, but what an experience it was.

There was nothing vulgar or even sexual about it. My parents after all, were one of the strictest parents in the whole, wide world and had there been any whiff of inappropriateness, they would have put a stop to my love affair immediately. It was love in its purest, untarnished form.

When indulging in childhood nostalgia, thoughts of P come up from time to time, yet, till this day, I struggle to identify why I felt such a strong pull towards P. Was it because I didn’t have much excitement in my childhood? I remember how the days and afternoons after school used to stretch on endlessly. Or was it simplistically that P was just right for me, the way how puzzle pieces fit together to form a perfect picture?

I once confided in a friend about P. That was the first and last time I would tell anyone about P. My friend gave me a look, which clearly indicated how odd she thought I was. I attempted to introduce her to P, because people naturally doubt what they don't understand, but to the contrary, the meeting only resulted in my friend informing me that, "P is so scary!!! You're frightening me."

How could I tell anyone how I felt? The way P made me feel, it was as if I had been transported to a whole new world. It was magical, mysterious and so preciously private. I decided not to tell anyone about P anymore. It would be my little secret.

As time went on, our relationship became a little cool. I was growing up, and life was rapidly changing for me. P was growing up too, we were the same age. I went to college, P went abroad, and slowly and gently, P faded from my current life, only to remain as a sweet childhood memory. We never kept in touch.

A few months ago, I heard that P would be in Kuala Lumpur. 

Looking back, I can't remember who broke the news to me about P’s visit to me. All I remember was...I was thrilled, nervous and excited. I was no longer that childish girl from my youth; I didn't feel the need to be furtive or hide anymore, and I even felt brave enough to tell my sister about it.

My sister, being my sister, promptly took action. She seized the chance before it was lost, perhaps never to return again and made sure to rekindle the love I had with P.

Within days of divulging the news to her, my sister bought tickets to see P, the Phantom of the Opera!

That was how I spent the most magical night of my life over the weekend, with P, finally seeing those songs that I had played endlessly on my cassette tape,  being performed in front of me. 

It was indeed my childhood dream come true. 

All those hours spent poring over pictures of the musical, imagining every second of how it would be like in real life. To be able to finally catch this musical in Malaysia was indeed an unexpected blessing. After all, they had never toured Malaysia. 

Till this day, people tell me I never had a childhood. I didn't grow up watching Doraemon, or owning a Tamagotchi. Of course, I did watch TV occasionally, and my aunt bought me a Digimon, but because these experiences weren't from my parents, they were far and few in between. My parents believed in a different sort of upbringing.

I remember the day my mother returned from work with a stack of cassette tapes in her hand and a set of photocopied A4 sized pages stapled together. The tapes were a recording of the Phantom of the Opera, and Les Miserables, and the papers were the lyrics to the musicals. Her colleague had given them to her, specially for me. I played those tapes endlessly and my sister and I held countless musical performances in the comfort of our home, with a strong cast of two - my sister and me.

I may not have had the most typical childhood, but for me, it is the best I could ever have had. To have the love and appreciation of music, cultivated at a young age, and to have had the opportunity of being exposed to something other than Spice Girls, is an education that is expensive to come by, in our country.

I mentioned that P and I went our separate ways as I grew up, but I realise that that is not true. Many years later, as a teenager, I met an American boy, who was studying in an international school in Kuala Lumpur. We chatted amicably and politely, until suddenly, we discovered our mutual interest in P. It was as if we had discovered a new language, which only both of us knew how to speak, and we ended the session with the feeling of having found a friend.

As cool as I may make it sound (or not), it was not very cool to grow up as an unusual child. The good thing about being unusual though, is it teaches you to be less concerned about what the world may think of you, and inevitably, I learned to be comfortable with discomfort.

My parents acquainted me with music, culture and history through books, art, piano and violin classes, and experiences like the Phantom of the Opera. Eventually, arts and music became a part of my life, and it is there till this day. It doesn't take a cultured parent to give their children such an experience. All it takes is an open mind and a progressive attitude and who knows what worlds you can open for your child?

[graciouslittlethings]

We Hit A Major Milestone for Little Baby Grains

On Friday night, I had a feeling that something big was going to happen to our Instagram profile.

And I mean, milestone kind of big.

At 11:50pm I kept refreshing Little Baby Grains' Instagram profile page. I was so excited that there was no way I could sleep!!!

At 12:36am, our Little Baby Grains Instagram account...

...hit 10,000 followers.

It was an incredible milestone for Little Baby Grains. From a one-man show (or should I say one-housewife) to where we are today, it has been an amazing journey.

What does 10,000 followers mean to me?

It means that somewhere out there, there are 10,000 people who are looking to Little Baby Grains (LBG) for whatever reason. It could be because you believe in us and you trust our products. Whatever it is, I'm incredibly proud of LBG for having inspired you in some way.

BUT.... it also means that we at LBG have a bigger responsibility to bear.

More Mummies means more babies are consuming LBG! Besides sweating a bit more than usual from all that pressure, it means we have to make sure you get the same quality of service that you've been getting from my one-man show days.

One of the other things I'm really happy about with having 10,000 followers is the amount of sharing between the mothers. 

Even though we don’t know each other in person, it’s lovely seeing the recipes that are shared, questions that are asked and the overall feeling that everyone is so supportive of each other to cook better recipes for our babies! 

We've got Mummies like Sabby Prue who shares a loooot of recipes on her blog.

We've got Mummies like Fara Hanim Razak who cooks for her twins despite her busy schedule as a celebrity and TV host - and she takes awesome flatlays of LBG while she's at it too!

We get so many daily instastories and posts of Mummies telling us what they're cooking today for their babies! 

I am so impressed at your creativity when it comes to whipping up meals for your little ones! I feel so lucky to be able to experience all these and share in your excitement in starting your baby's solids journey.

Apart from drooling over your recipes and secretly wishing I were a baby, I am also very aware of the fact that if not for all you Mummies who believed in LBG, we would not have been able to achieve this milestone. I humbly apologise for any of our mistakes. Thank you for your kindness and support towards us.

We will do our best to contribute to more Mummies!

#littlebabygrains #organic grains #for babies #rice for babies #porridge for babies #puree for babies #natural grains #malaysia

[graciouslittlethings]

This is How I Became a State Golfer

Most people find it intriguing whenever I reveal that I play golf and I used to represent my state at the national level. All sorts of assumptions come to mind, mostly that I’m from a wealthy family.

It’s “golf”!!!

The next assumption is that I’m good at golf because I started young. While this assumption is true, I still call it an assumption because it doesn’t reveal the whole picture. You can do a lot of things from a very young age but you may still suck at it.

Today’s post is not so much about me; the main star of the post is actually my father. This is a story of how a father’s perseverance and determination paid off.

Like all other kids, I enjoyed the popular sports. These would be activities where I could hang out with my friends, like badminton. For a couple of months, I attended badminton classes at the local badminton hall, sponsored by my school, but after awhile, my father told me to stop attending the classes. Based on his observation, I would, at best, be mediocre in the sport. Plus it was highly competitive. I was bummed but my father came up with an alternative.

We would all play golf together.

And so, my mother and I started learning golf around the same time. My mother even managed to find 3 friends to pick up the sport at the same time. In golf, 4 is a perfect number because when you have 4 people, you can form a complete “flight” which is what is required in order to play on the golf course.

Under my father’s patient coaching, all of us managed to pass the handicap exam and make it onto the golf course. In KL, you don’t need to go for an exam in order to play on a course but in the small town where I grew up, it was the rule of the golf club where we were all members. My mother’s friends weren’t very regular but my family were. 

From then on, my dad turned his attention to me. I didn’t really appreciate it as much back then, but I can see on hindsight, that he really had a plan, which was to see his not-sporty daughter excel in golf.

It sounds bizarre to me now - I’m not particularly good at coordination and I wasn’t good at field and track events. Ok, when I say “wasn’t good”, I actually mean “really bad”. I suppose golf was one of those sports where my dad saw a possibility for his not-very-athletic daughter to shine.

5 days a week, we would hit the golf course at 5-6pm, playing until dusk. It was a lot of walking and we didn’t use buggies or caddies. We just walked and pulled our golf bags on trolleys. I’d say we probably walked an average of 2-3km each time on hilly terrain. That was pretty much how I built my stamina.

For those of you who have met me, you probably know how small I am for a sportsperson. My height is below average, I don’t have a muscular build and I hardly have enough body mass to be able to hit a great distance. I was even smaller than I am now when I was back in school.

My dad knew I’d never be able to compete in terms of distance, so he made sure I was accurate. This meant that every shot had to go exactly where I wanted it to go. He was very fussy about me lining up every shot and hitting it in the direction that I wanted it to go.

In the beginning when I was not so good, he used aids like placing golf clubs on the ground to guide my feet for every shot that I took. He taught me how to position my eye and what visual cue I should use. “If I couldn’t hit far, at least I should hit straight,” was the mantra. You’ve watched golf on TV perhaps, even if you don’t know the sport. Can you imagine placing 2-3 golf clubs on the ground to align the feet EVERY SINGLE TIME you have to hit the ball? That’s what my dad made me do until I was relatively accurate.

The next thing was something called short game. If his short and petite daughter couldn’t hit far, her short game needed to be perfect. Short game in golf, is the term used to refer to the shots you hit when you’re about to approach the flag and the hole. It’s all about accuracy.

Some evenings after we’d finished our round of golf, and there was nobody else on the course anymore, my dad would take 20-30 balls to a green (that’s the area where the flag and hole is) and make me practise my short game for a good half hour or so or until the sun had set entirely. I’d hit the same shots again and again and again until I was accurate enough that my balls would mostly land near the hole. Then my dad would move me to a different distance, or a different type of terrain. I had to practise on bad terrain, good terrain, average terrain.

Then, there was putting (pronounced “pah-ting”). This is the term we use to refer to the shots we make when we’re very close to the hole / flag already. At this part, we’re tapping the ball gently to nudge it into the hole, no more swinging our arms around. It was really a lot of repetition and practise, putting again and again and again, on different distances and different slopes. This, too, was part of the drill I had to do after finishing a round of golf in the evenings.

Just because I had a slight figure didn’t mean that it was an excuse for my lack of strength. My dad installed a pull up bar in the house. I was to use it every day to develop arm muscle strength. And so even from maybe 13 or 14, I was already able to do pull-ups! Maybe it’s not a big deal for a guy but it certainly is a big deal for a girl!

Then, there were the sit-ups. If I remember correctly, a sit-up machine cost around RM300 back then. We were not wealthy and every ringgit counts, so my dad made his own sit-up machine. I think it’s still in his house till this day. Golf is also a lot about core strength so I had to do sit-ups every day. This is probably why I perform way better at Pilates than I do at yoga, because Pilates is really a lot about core strength.

At this point, you’re probably thinking, OK, this is crazy and extreme unless I was going to be a professional golfer. For the record, my parents knew I had a very slim chance of making it professional mainly because of my slight build and physique. So why invest so much time and effort into it then?

My parents have this philosophy of making sure that I gave my 100% in everything. They wanted me to excel in everything I dabbled in, or at least, give my very best. I’m very sure they were very exasperated with me when it came to piano and violin because I would try to weasel out of practising or pretending that I was sick to avoid going for classes.

I suppose my parents were also aware of how much sports can actually impact our mental conditioning and strength. You learn to be very focused, to tune out distractions, to persevere despite disappointments and to keep going even when you feel physically unable to. Golf tournaments at school level mean that you’re on the course for about 5-6 hours each day for 2 days. It’s a lot of walking in the sun and late meals. In case you didn’t know, at professional level, it’s 4 days. Up to this point, you can already see that I didn’t just “play golf from a young age”. I actually put in an equal number of hours, if not more, in building muscle strength and repetitive golf exercises.

If you think that’s already a lot, please continue reading.

My dad was one who never believed in complacency. I’m sure you know Tiger Woods. Once in awhile, you’d read of him not performing in tournaments because his coach had changed his swing and he was still getting used to it, whatever that means. 

My dad was like that. He would watch videos and read books on golf, and then, he’d tell me, “OK, let’s try this new swing on you.” A “swing” refers to the way a golfer hits their ball. Just like any sport, the way you execute a hit has the ability to impact the distance, direction and accuracy of the shot. Sometimes, a small tweak can lend an extra couple of metres to the distance, or even improve the accuracy of the hit. The thing is, each time you tweak your swing, it’s a very uncomfortable period because as you are getting used to the swing, your performance actually drops.

I was a real pain to be around whenever my dad introduced these tweaks. I would be constantly grumbling and generally unpleasant. Poor Papa! After putting in hours of hard work to think of how he could help me to become better, not only did he not receive any gratitude from me, he had to put up with my nasty attitude. Parents truly have unconditional love for their not-so-loving, ungrateful children, who only realise it many, many years later.

Finally, there were the numerous small and innovative details, such as making me practise my putting along the lines of our terrazzo flooring at home to make sure I always moved my arms consistently, building all sorts of DIY props for my home exercises and even converting our guest room into a driving range so that I could practise more conveniently when the competitions were around the corner.

Every child has the ability to be something better but given the choice, they probably wouldn’t want to. I do recall not wanting to wake up on Saturday mornings - which teenager doesn’t want to sleep in???!!! I recall the feeling of laziness, or just wanting to hang out with my neighbour, who was my classmate and best friend. I recall the feeling of wanting to stay home and play computer games.

Success is, to put it bluntly, brutal. It calls for sacrifice and discipline.

I’m glad my parents never gave in to my wheedling and excuses. It was always, “Change. We’re going to the course now.” No choices granted. Yes, it was harsh, and so, as parents, we have to make the hard decision, for the sake of our children. There’s no right or wrong - ultimately it’s what you want for your child, but I can definitely assure you, discipline does no harm. It builds character and toughens a person.

I don’t believe that I was born to be a golfer or any form of sportsperson, for that matter. But what my dad did was incredible. He refused to accept my physical limitations and overcame the mental barrier of “impossible” to transforming me, this petite, short and frail girl into more than just a golfer. He pushed me to excel at it.

Ultimately, this is not really a post about how to excel in golf, although you can definitely gain inspiration from it. It’s a story about the thousands of hours of hard work and innovation behind the scenes, and the fact that success doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye. 

Mainly, it was because of a hero called Papa.

#personal #golf #my story #success

[graciouslittlethings]

This is How I’ve Been Handling My Toddler’s Tantrums and It’s Working Really Well

I often have a challenging time with Dozer. He’s the eldest and the sweetest. Yet, we seem to be at loggerheads every day. He’s either going through a tantrum every day or behaving like a teenager (read: ignoring me) and I often wonder how it’ll be like when he actually becomes a teenager.

I know that Dozer went through quite a long adjustment period when Baby Dino was born. I know that sometimes he’s jealous of Baby Dino who’s usually clinging to me like a koala. I also know that Dozer is often expected to step up and behave like the magnanimous, older brother and he’s only 5.

Does knowing all these make it easier? Absolutely not.

Does being Dozer’s natural birth mother make it easier? Shockingly, NO. 

Some days, it feels too much. I’m overwhelmed with my responsibilities, facing issues, and things are not going very well. Then I come home, and the first thing I have to deal with is a tantrum crash. It feels like God is trying to drown me.

Those days, I am a horrible mother. I don’t stop to talk and understand what’s going on. I’m curt, impatient and a MOMster. It’s totally understandable but it’s still NOT RIGHT.

But most days, amazingly, despite my frustration, impatience and weariness of having to deal with tears after tantrum after tears, I manage to pull through. Yes, it’s doable! It doesn’t happen out of nowhere, in fact, I have a pretty systematic approach to it. It works amazingly well for me, and I hope it will help you too!

1. Take a deep breath

Because the first thing that needs to happen is I have to calm down.

Breathe x 1. 

Imagine you’re a fairy or superwoman or whatever works. 

Breathe x 2. 

Think about the chocolate that’s waiting for you in the fridge when it’s all over. 

Breathe x 3. 

Think about how you can post that photo of you hugging your kid on Facebook without any guilt. 

Feeling better? Let’s move on.

2. “If you (the mother) are not going to be there for him, who is?”

Asking myself this always pulls me away from focusing on myself. It reminds me that he’s a little boy, who’s having a harder time adjusting to the nuances and norms of the world. He needs even more help and understanding from me. It’s easier to want to tell Dozer to “cut the drama out” and just “accept that things are like that” but I have realised that things which are straightforward to me, are interpreted differently by him. 

So even though you may feel more angry bird than lovey dovey, remember, YOU HAVE GOTTA BE THERE FOR HIM because he has nobody else. 

3. Use the phrase “I know”

I once blogged about the one magic phrase to instantly calm down a crying toddler. These are one of the few parenting tactics I use, which hold water till this very day. 

“I know you feel this is not fair and you should be having the car.”

“I know how you feel.”

“I know this is not what you wanted.”

The phrase “I know” is a truly magic phrase which stops his tantrum from going on for too long and it works wonders at getting Dozer to open up and tell me what’s going on. 

I am still amazed at the magic of this phrase but of course, when you think about it, it makes sense! 

Using the phrase “I know” implies empathy and understanding of what the other party is going through. It means I’m acknowledging the other party’s emotions or thoughts and actually communicating to them that I am on the same page. Once the other party feels understood, it’s often easier to move on from there. 

(Side note: The “I know” phrase works very well on adults too so the next time you’re in an argument, you might want to consider using it.)

4. Try giving a hug

When I’m on the verge of yelling at Dozer - be it out of frustration or anger - that’s my signal to give him a hug instead. It seems like the most wrong thing to do because kids need to be disciplined and they ought to learn that bad behaviour is not going to be rewarded!!! 

Right? 

Wrong. 

Ok, well, it depends. I think each kid is different but for Dozer, as he’s in the middle of a meltdown, an offer to hug sometimes calms the storm. 

You know what’s the worst part? 

When I get pushed away. 

Sometimes, I offer to hug Dozer and he shakes his head angrily and pushes me away. Then I offer to hug him again and he does the same thing. 

Ok, this Mummy is getting angry here but hey, remember question number 1: if I am not here for him, who else is gonna be? 

So ok, offer to hug AGAIN and yay!!! It’s working!!!

I find that pausing to hug takes away the heat of the moment, and helps ME to calm down and refocus. 

5. They’re watching you. Show up. Be a role model.

It sounds very stressful and it really is, but the cliche of how kids mimic our every move is true. Not 100% true, but like 99% true. 

I find that I think and behave very much like my parents, especially when I was younger, and the parts that I don’t like so much took me a long time to undo and reset. I had to fight against that easy way out of mimicking or behaving like my parents and consciously behave in the way that I desired. 

Warning: Lecture-ish statements ahead. Read only if you really love your kids. 

If I retaliate to Dozer’s tantrums with sharpness and impatience, that’s precisely what I’m teaching my kids. That when problems crop up, the way to deal with it is to be angry and yelly (I know that’s not a word but you know what I mean and it rhymes).

This thought has often shocked me into behaving better. I picture my kids growing up and behaving like Mummy when she’s in her bad-version and it frightens me enough to behave better myself. 

So, when the tantrums come on:

1. Breathe deep

2. Ask yourself: If you aren’t there for your tantrummy toddler, who else will be? (Daddy’s working by the way, so it’s just you.)

3. Use the magic phrase “I know”

4. Stop to give a hug, and

5. Picture your kids behaving like an adult having a tantrum or not coping in life because they never had a good role model

I believe this will help you (and your toddler, of course) to get through those tears and crying and lying on the floor in a public place and whatnot.

May the power of all Mummies be with you.

#parenting #toddler tantrums #managing tantrums #how to #momtips

[graciouslittlethings]

Here’s Why I Think Malaysia Should Have Just One Type of School, Instead of Three

With the recent appointment of our new Education Minister, Dr. Maszlee Malik, I’ve been feeling really hopeful about the future of our education system. I grew up in a Sekolah Kebangsaan environment. At that time, there was criticism already of the syllabus but it was nothing unlike the criticism we have now.

These days, both international and private schools are booming and more affordable options like homeschooling are in place. When I talk to any parent, it seems like most (Chinese) parents are either aiming to send their kids to international or private schools, or SJK(C), if affordability is an issue. SJK(C) otherwise known as Chinese schools are gaining popularity, (no) thanks to the perceived poor quality of kebangsaan (national) schools and the rise of China. 

I’ve registered my 5-year-old for Chinese school in primary one but, here’s the thing.

I am not sure if I will go through with it.

I’m still unsure if the pros of attending Chinese school outweigh the cons. I’m usually a very positive person but there are just too many hesitations when it comes to our children’s education. 

It has come to a stage where I think I would be really happy if my kids didn’t have the choice of attending a Chinese school. 

Here’s why:

1. Racial polarisation

This really struck a nerve when I mentioned it on one of my Facebook posts. But let’s call a spade a spade.

It’s true.

Racial polarisation is getting worse in this generation. More Chinese are flocking to Chinese schools leaving kebangsaan schools to consist of even more Malays and Indians.

I believe that to be truly progressive AND Malaysian, we need to stop any further possibility of racial polarisation or any attempts at dividing us. I felt really frustrated before GE14 when certain politicians used race to stir up emotions and incite negative feelings.

Back then, Chinese schools were established because our forefathers from China wanted to stay true to our roots and preserve our culture. Perhaps it was the best way then, but is it really the best way now? Is there no other way to learn Chinese? We’re Malaysians - does racial segregation really benefit us as a whole? And is it worth the price of being excellent in Chinese language but being weak in diversity, analytical skills and English?

This brings me to the next point.

2. Analytical skills and self-expression

When I first started working, I had my first taste of inferiority. As someone who had studied locally my entire life, I found that I was lacking from my peers who had at least the experience of attending tertiary education abroad. I was less exposed, less daring to question and less independent when it came to approaching unfamiliar tasks. I’ve come a long way since then but it’s taken me a long time to grow into who I am today. 

I’m probably going to anger a lot of people by saying this but I think Chinese schools are even worse than kebangsaan schools when it comes to analytical skills or self-expression. Perhaps it could be due to command of language, given that we’re all mostly required to use English when we join the workforce.

However, I think most people would agree that the Chinese education system focuses on rote learning and discipline. Both perhaps, are necessary in a Chinese environment by virtue of a language which is difficult to master, and our legacy as Chinese, but, I really don’t think rote learning is going to serve us very well in this century.

Of course, our children may be excellent in Chinese and eventually land high-paying jobs in China or with companies seeking to do business with China, but surely, money is not all that matters. A sense of self-fulfilment, the ability to probe, understand and decide and communication skills are crucial to personal growth as a human being.

3. Poor command of English

Woe to you if you attend a Chinese school and your family does not speak English. I’ve personally seen a family member struggle with this her entire life. It has cost her promotions and eventually jobs.

Thankfully for me, this is the part which I’m least worried about since English is our primary language at home, but for many others, especially those on the fringe and outside Klang Valley, this is a very real, lifelong deficit. By now, you might start to think that I’m anti-Chinese or a banana who has forgotten my roots. I humbly beg to differ.

I stayed in Beijing for 3 years and I have a very healthy appreciation of Chinese capabilities and progressiveness.

In China.

With a single race.

With a single language.

Here in Malaysia, I strongly feel that if we continue to isolate ourselves with a segregated education system, we - meaning the Chinese - will end up as half-half, neither here nor there.

So if I’m seemingly against Chinese schools, why then, did I enroll my son into a Chinese school?

Firstly, I want my son to be fluent in reading and conversing in Chinese, and after looking around, I have yet to find out a better option than Chinese schools. I’m hoping to make up for the shortcomings of the Chinese-school syllabus by actively complementing his learning when he’s home and immersing him into extra-curricular activities.

It’s going to be an uphill battle because environment has been found to have a stronger influence on children than parental guidance, but I’ve been dealt really tough cards and this is all I have to choose from.

My wish list for a better education system from our new government is to consolidate all our schools into one single system.

Every student should be required to learn their mother tongue as a compulsory subject. In the case of orang asli, they should be provided learning options to enable them to learn their mother tongue. By doing this, we’d be really inculcating harmony, tolerance and respect for a multi-racial society from a young age.

With a single system, our Education Ministry can finally focus all their efforts into injecting real quality and meaningful revamps into the education system. Implementation then would be more focused rather than trying to pacify the different groups. Looking towards Finland as a model system is all fine and good but that’s only half the work done. The other half (or perhaps even more) comes from effective execution, which unfortunately, has been our bane. For instance, upskilling our educators...but that’s another story for another day.

I’ve never been more excited about the future of our education system than now. Here’s to my harapan (hope) of a truly beneficial revamp for our children, rather than a populist, politically-driven change.

I welcome respectfully aired opinions.

#education system #malaysia #wishlist #malaysian parent #thoughts #chinese school #kebangsaan school #types of malaysian schools

[graciouslittlethings]

Tribute to My Mother

Today is Mother’s Day.

I’m not celebrating with my mother and it doesn’t feel odd.

My family has never been big on celebrations. I remember as a child, the times I’d wish my mother “Happy Birthday” and surprise her with a card and she’d say, “Is it my birthday today? I’d forgotten!” 

As for me, the only time I ever had a birthday celebration was when I was 17 and my parents very unusually allowed me to throw a party with my classmates. Perhaps it was because we didn’t have much so every extra ringgit saved was a bonus. But whatever it was, celebrations aren’t a thing at all with my family.  

My mother is not a ‘conventional’ mother. 

She is not the kind who cooks and cleans and tucks you in to bed at night. In fact, she doesn’t like children very much - at least not when they’re small and require a lot of care. 

Growing up, I wished that my mother would be more like a normal mother. I saw my classmates’ mothers attending school events and cheering them when they performed. I saw my friends’ mothers ironing their clothes and preparing meals for them. Don’t get me wrong : I do love my mother a lot and I enjoy our yakking sessions, especially after we haven’t seen each other in awhile. But, the fact is, my mother is different. 

I’m very sure that I did my best to make my mother feel bad about being “unconventional” but my mother is not one to be easily swayed. She’s a strong woman, and one could tell from how she reacted when she was diagnosed with cancer. (You can read about my mum’s cancer here.)

My mother’s sharp tongue was and still is, my source of irritation. Never afraid to speak her mind, she would give it to me straight in the typical Asian way. Now that I’m older, it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to, but one thing is for sure: that sharp tongue - as annoying as it is - pushed me out of my comfort zone more than once. That sharp tongue became my other voice, the one that critics and chides me when I get a little lazy. 

One thing which my mother strongly believes in, is that women are equal to men. You’d be surprised, even in our modern society today, there are many mothers who directly or indirectly preach to their daughters patriarchal concepts and ideas. For instance, one of my school teachers once told me, “My daughter is keen on studying medicine, but I told her, just go for pharmacy.” 

“Why?” I asked my teacher. 

“Aiyah, girls will be mothers one day. Don’t have to study such a difficult course and work so hard.” 

My mother would have none of this. She wanted her daughters to study medicine, because she believed it was noble and recession-proof, but unfortunately for her, I did not like Biology in school. After conceding to the fact that I would be working in the private sector, she continued to keep close tabs on my career, demanding to know my performance and if I were slow in comparison with my peers! It didn’t matter whether they were men or women! 

“Girls must always be financially independent” is my mother’s motto. Within my first year of working, she convinced me that investing my savings in a house was a wise choice. I ended up having to scrimp and cut back on my spending to ensure my house instalments were met, but 10 years later, seeing people with handbags as assets, I can’t help but thank her for pushing me in the right direction. 

Till this day, she bemoans my decision to be a stay-at-home mother and she’s sure I’ve made the worst decision of my life! So she was really happy when I informed her that I’d be taking up a contractual role with my ex-company on a part-time basis. It’s a step towards finally coming back to my senses, is probably what she thinks! 

I remember thinking, as a child, that when I grew up, I’d be “more of a mother” to my own children, but now that I am a mother myself, I realise that there should not be a stereotype of what a mother is. 

My mother may not have read me stories or looked after me when I was sick, but she taught me different lessons, that empowered me differently. She taught me to be self-reliant and not to accept mediocrity. She taught me how to be a strong woman and to bounce back, ready to take on a new day. She taught me never to doubt myself, just because I’m a woman. 

Mummy, thank you for the life lessons. Despite all that I wished from you, I am the mother that I am today because of you. 

#mothers day 2018 #mother #my mother #tribute #personal

[graciouslittlethings]

If You Think You’re Ready to Be a Parent, Read This

Some days I feel really horrid and today is just one of those days. 

Do you know this feeling? 

The feeling where you try SO HARD to be the best mother - you swallow your anger, bite back your impatience, take deep breaths and speak calmly instead of yelling, so you can set a good example for your children...

And yet...

All you can see are whiny children, who don’t even realise how blessed they are AND who are busy throwing the worst tantrums you’ve ever experienced in your life.

You feel like just locking yourself in a dark and quiet room, wishing someone would fix the problem but you know that the someone is YOU. 

So you take a DEEP BREATH, walk out of that dark and quiet room in your mind, and try to address the situation again. 

And again.

AND AGAIN.

Because we all know tantrums happen so many times in a day. 

In fact, I’m going to call today, “World Tantrum Day”, because BOTH kids have decided to throw tantrums over every imaginable matter. 

Baby Dino is usually the easygoing one, yet there he is, throwing major tantrums left, right and centre, the likes of which I’d never seen. 

I feel like throwing a tantrum myself. 

The worst part is knowing that I am partly to blame. 

“What???” you must be thinking. “Don’t be so hard on yourself!”

The old egotistic me would have balked at the idea, but if I were to be painfully objective and honest in assessing the situation, I knew I too had contributed to the little horrors behaving horrifically right before my eyes. 

I’m pretty sure that somehow, my patience in handling my kids had developed into a lack of boundaries. I had probably even told myself too many times to “just take it easy” and taking it easy meant giving in once too often. 

Parenting is tough. 

It requires consistency because those little eyes are watching your every step. For instance... “Mummy, why you wave to the guard?” “Mummy, why you honk the car?” “Mummy, why you scratch your nose?”

It requires a lot of patience because really, the alternative to patience is usually The Yelling Mom. And no, I don’t like The Yelling Mom. 

It requires discernment, which is the ability to know when to let them stay up late and when "it’s bedtime now” really means bedtime now. 

It requires humility, which is the part where I acknowledge that I too am to blame, even though I feel like I’m having the worst day ever. 

It requires forgiveness, else I would never be able to move on from my guilt at morphing into Monster Mom sometimes. 

Yes, parenting is tough but I only have this short while to do my best, in the hopes that my kids will turn out to have good characters, be independent, find their way in life and be happy. 

Do you know what’s funny about this parenting thing?

It has actually improved my character, moulded me to become more independent and given me greater clarity over what I want out of life. 

So, no matter how many times I may feel like giving up, I will always take a huge breath, and try again. 

Besides, in the bigger scheme of things, there are lots of things worse than just tantrums. 

OK, that was a nice commercial break. Now, let me get back to dealing with these tantrums. 

#motherhood #keeping it real #mom talk #parenting #personal

[graciouslittlethings]

4 Easy Easter Egg Crafts for Toddlers Aged 3 to 5

Since Easter is coming up, and my kids are now going on 3 and 5 respectively (read: more civilised), I thought it’d be fun to try out some Easter egg crafts with them!

I’d tasked my helper to save the eggshells every time we cooked eggs. She managed to save 30 eggshells for me (we eat so much eggs) and that’s when I decided that it was time to get into action!

Here are 4 easy crafts we did with the eggs and you can certainly try it out at home too!

1: Washi Tape Easter Eggs

Difficulty Level: EASY

We started off by sticking Washi tape on the eggs. 

This is really a great way of starting off because it’s easy, and it looks (kind of) pretty as well! 

2: Marker Pen Easter Eggs

Difficulty Level: EASY

After the kids got bored of Washi tape, I whipped out some Sharpies and we all got busy drawing on the eggs! 

3: Sticker Easter Eggs

Difficulty Level: EASY

The next method of decorating the eggs was using stickers. 

Actually, it’s quite similar to Washi tape, except that with stickers, it’s fun because it has pictures! So the kids got to choose what they wanted to stick on their eggs. 

4: Washable Paint Easter Eggs

Difficulty Level: MODERATE

This is the REAL THING. I’d been wondering for weeks, how I could let the monsters paint the eggs without creating too much of a mess. I’d done a lot of reading and apparently, you need to use acrylic paint, which....I was pretty sure, would not come off easily. And that is a very bad idea, when it comes to toddlers. 

Finally, I decided to use their washable hand paints. And WHAT A GREAT IDEA IT WAS!!!

True to form, the boys painted the eggs quietly at first, then towards the end, decided to paint each other, AND HAND PAINT MY WHITE WALLS!!!! At this point I was too busy salvaging the situation so no more photos....but Z managed to wash off all the paint from the walls. 

HURRAH TO WASHABLE PAINT!

Overall, everyone really enjoyed themselves, and I’d rate this activity as a must-try if you have toddlers! 

Friendly Tip: Dress them up in really old clothes for this activity. 

#easter #egg painting #easter egg crafts #toddler activities #easter egg #sahm

[graciouslittlethings]

5 Food Safety Tips Everyone Should Know

I find that many people are most motivated to cook after they become a parent. After all, we want the best for our kids and that includes serving healthy, balanced meals prepared at home. The big deal about homecooking is that it is perceived as more hygienic, which makes it safer especially for kids. However, here are 5 food safety tips which you may have been doing wrong!

 1.      Thaw your frozen food the RIGHT way

How do you thaw your food? Many people I’ve asked tell me that they thaw it on the kitchen countertop (my parents and mother-in-law included!). This is actually not ideal in terms of food safety as hours of thawing along with the rising temperature can cause your food to be contaminated with bacteria.

The correct way of thawing is to move your frozen food from the freezer to the fridge. I usually do that at night before I sleep and the next day, the food is all thawed and ready to be cooked.

Of course, this means that advance planning is required so what should we do if we forgot to thaw something?

The alternative to refrigerator thawing is cold water thawing. Place your frozen food into a Ziploc bag, then submerge it in COLD TAP WATER. NOT hot water. Change the water every 15-30 minutes. This will probably take about an hour for your frozen food to thaw.  

 2.      Marinate your foods in the fridge

I’ve often seen people marinate their meat in salt or sauce and then leave it out on the countertop. Again, this can potentially be a playground for bacteria to develop as anything between 4 to 60 degrees Celsius is when bacteria can rapidly grow.  

The correct way of marinating is to place your meat in the fridge while waiting to cook it.

 3.      Don’t wash your chicken or meat

I personally find this advice a tough one to adhere to myself! Years of watching my grandmother and father prepare their meat has instilled in me that WASHING is a must! Ironically, washing chicken or meat can increase your chance of food poisoning by splashing juices (and any bacteria they might contain) onto your sink and counters.

Instead, the best way to cook meat, poultry, or seafood safely is to make sure you cook it to the right temperature.

Honestly, I haven’t been able to strictly abide by this piece of advice, so what I do instead, is to wash my kitchen sink with soap after preparing raw food.

 4.      Refrigerate leftovers

Just because your food looks safe and doesn’t smell bad, doesn’t mean that it has no bacteria in it, especially if it’s been sitting out on the table for the whole day. Any uneaten food should be kept in the fridge within 2 hours.

 5.      Wash your hands

Finally, the most basic advice concerning food safety is to wash your hands WITH SOAP. You should always wash your hands:

Before starting your cooking preparations

Before handling cooked or ready-to-eat food

AFTER handling or preparing raw meat

So even if you’re working on a few dishes at a time in the kitchen, always remember to wash your hands after handling meat, before moving on to your next prep.

 As always, I hope you found this post useful and please feel free to share it with your friends and family!

 Sources:

 Food Safety Authority of Ireland (www.fsai.ie)

US government agencies on food safety

#food safety #family #food safety with kids #kids #children #how to #tips #what you should know

[graciouslittlethings]

The Time My Toddler Snorted a Tablet Into His Nostril

Toddlers and young children somehow always manage to make your life very interesting. Today, I’m going to tell you about the time when Dozer snorted a tablet into his nostril. 

Yes, you read that correctly. 

The. Tablet. Went. Into. His. Nose.

Dozer has been on this particular medication for a few weeks, under the instructions of the paediatrician, because he’s been having this persistent cough. The kids think eating medicines is a treat, which is a huge improvement from the time when I had to force feed medications. 

Every time it’s time to take medications, they get really excited probably because those are they only “sweets” they’re allowed to eat. 

So one night, Dozer eagerly reached out for his tablet and ran off. As I was busy putting the medication box back into the kitchen cabinet, I heard a loud cry. 

“MY TABLET IS MISSING!!!!!!!!!!!” wailed Dozer.

I hurried to the sofa where he was standing and started hunting under the sofa like a detective. First instinct, you see - surely the tablet must have dropped underneath the sofa and he couldn’t find it. 

“(WAIL WAIL WAIL SUPER LOUDLY) IT’S MISSINGGGGGGGGG!!!!”

Dozer rushed to the kitchen cabinet where I had kept the medication and tried to reach for it (it was really high up). 

OK, his “sweet” had gone missing and he’s trying to get another “sweet”. That’s normal. 

I tried to calm him down and asked soothingly, “Do you remember where you dropped your tablet?”

Dozer wailed a couple more times and then, “I PUT IT IN MY NOSEEEEEEE (WAIL WAIL WAIL).”

Oh.....kayyyyyyy, that is NOT NORMAL.

“You put it in your nose??????” I heard myself screeching slightly. OK, maybe not slightly. 

I tried to calm myself down then I grabbed my mobile phone and turned on the flashlight. I shone the light into his nostril and TRUE ENOUGH, THE TABLET WAS STUCK THERE!!!

“Can you try and blow your nose?”

Dozer proceeded to suck the tablet in even further.

“NOOO I mean blow it out, not suck it in!!!!”

After a few more attempts at blowing out the tablet, which resulted in Dozer sucking in the tablet even further, I announced, “OK, we are going to see the doctor.”

I knew the doctor would most likely have to use a pair of tweezers to pull out the unfortunate tablet. 

Dozer had calmed down by then and was sitting quietly on a chair.

While getting ready to leave the house, all of a sudden, a small voice announced:

“I ate the tablet.”

I rushed to Dozer and shone the flashlight into his nostril again and true enough, the tablet had disappeared!!!

“What exactly did you feel?” I asked him. 

“The tablet went down my throat and I ate it,” was the reply.

After a few more checks, we concluded that he must have snorted the tablet further up his nostril where it proceeded down his esophagus. 

End of drama.

P.S.: Did you notice that when the tablet went “missing”, Dozer was more alarmed at not being able to eat it rather than the fact that it was up his nostril?

#toddler tales #toddler #motherhood #personal #stories #dozer

[graciouslittlethings]

How To Complete the Primary School Year 1 Application

All done and dusted! I’m really proud that I managed to complete Dozer’s primary school application within the first week of March itself! 

In case you don’t already know, the application process into primary school for Malaysian kids who will be Standard 1 in 2019 and 2020 is now open from 1 March 2018 - 30 April 2018. For first-timers like me, today’s post is to guide you on how the whole process goes! 

There are only 3 simple steps to the whole process.

STEP #1: Visit http://public.moe.com.my, log in and fill out the online application form

For first-time users to the website, you’ll need to fill in your IC number, create a password and click on “Pengguna Baru”.

The information required for the application includes the following so do get all these ready before sitting down to fill out the form:

Your child’s MyKid and birth certificate number

Your child’s kindergarten / pre-school details (name, address, contact number)

Your child’s vaccination details (actual dates of the vaccinations)

Parents’ employment details (employer name, address, contact number)

A declaration of your child’s health condition including allergies

IMPORTANT Tip: 

Selecting your child’s school may be a little tricky as you may not know which DAERAH (DISTRICT) the school is in. 

To find out the DAERAH, just download the list of schools in Malaysia from the Ministry of Education’s website HERE, and search for the school name. 

The DAERAH will be stated in the “PPD” column.

Once you’re done, print out these 2 documents: 

Surat Permohonan Sekolah

Surat Persetujuan Kesihatan

STEP #2: Compile all the supporting documents

Apart from the application form, you’ll also need to prepare the following supporting documents:

Your child’s birth certificate (original and copy)

Utility bills (water / electricity / telephone / internet) to prove your residential address (original and copy)

IC of both parents (copy - but some schools might request to see the original as well)

Marriage certificate (copy)

RM1 stamp  (some schools may only require an RM0.80 stamp)

An envelope measuring 9 inches x 4 inches (some schools may allow you to buy this at the counter)

Where applicable, you may also need to furnish any relevant doctor’s reports or OKU card. 

STEP #3: Bring the printouts AND supporting documents to the school that you are applying to.

This last step is very simple and basically involves filling out more forms and handing over the supporting documents. 

That’s it! Once you’re done, you just have to wait till August 2019 (yes, next year!) for the placement letter. 

A completed application does not guarantee the allocation of your preferred school but apparently in most cases, especially if the school is within the vicinity of your house, your child should be able to be placed in the school of your choice. 

#malaysia #primary school #year 1 #standard 1 #school placement #application #register #how to

[graciouslittlethings]

The Happiest People in the World

A few days ago, I read a very interesting book on Blinkist. 

If you don’t already use Blinkist, I highly recommend it. Blinkist is an app which summarises non-fiction books into what it calls “blinks”, so it takes you only a few minutes to read a book. The app is free to download but you have to pay the read the books. However, they offer one free book to read a day, which in my opinion is plenty. I mean, you get to read one new book every day (leh)! 

The book was written by Helen Russell and it is titled “The Year of Living Danishly”. It tells us why people in Denmark are the happiest people in the world!!! (Denmark consistently tops the UN World Happiness Report. Yep, apparently, there is such a report.)

I bet you’re really interested now. I mean, who wouldn’t be? I want to know how to be happy too!!!

I’m sure you could probably guess some of the reasons as to why the Danes are so happy. A really good work-life balance, and 1 year of paternity / maternity leave are some of the reasons.

Then, there was this:

Traditions and patriotism are important for most Danes.

Helen Russell went on to explain that traditions contribute to the country’s happiness by cultivating community and security. 

I found this point really, really interesting. 

Who would have thought that traditions could be one of the factors contributing to happiness? 

Even as I’m writing this, we’re still in the midst of celebrating Chinese New Year, and as we know, there are so many traditions involving Chinese New Year. 

Truthfully, I’m not big on traditions. Of course, I make it a point to fulfil the basic ones every Chinese New Year (CNY) but to say that they are really important to me would be stretching the truth. In fact, I’d come to take these traditions for granted. 

Some of these traditions are family traditions and some are more ubiquitous like exchanging ang pows (red packets), the family reunion dinner and overall CNY preparations. 

Talking about CNY prep, this year, I really found it to be a quite a bummer initially. Honestly, my CNY prep is nothing extraordinary. They’re the typically basic items like spring cleaning and shopping for CNY groceries and goodies for my relatives. Yet, I found it slightly irritating that in the midst of my hectic schedule, I had to take a pause and actually make time for all these.

Amidst all these, Z surprised me one day. 

“Hey, you’ve been wanting to buy some flowers for CNY, right? How about we go today?” 

When we first moved into our place 5 years ago, it was right before CNY and I remember mentioning that we should get some artificial cherry blossoms to spruce up our CNY decor. That was 5 years ago, and we somehow never managed to get those flowers. 

I was pleasantly surprised and even excited. We went to this place called Sun Energy Floral Trading (you can check out their Facebook page here). They sell really quality artificial flowers at a reasonable price. The whole outing was a fun change from our usual routine and it made me recall our CNY prep last year. 

My CNY decor with new flowers!

Last year, we found a seller who had really yummy pineapple tarts. We first bought 2 jars from her, then, as we started counting the relatives whom we could gift the pineapple tarts to, we kept going back to the seller to get more jars. I don’t know why we didn’t just buy like 10 jars at one go. Maybe we were having too much fun making it into a mission of sorts. Finally, the seller sold out and we didn’t manage to get our final batch of pineapple tarts, but the experience was really something to laugh about and remember fondly in years to come. 

I’d become so immersed in my hectic life, that I’d forgotten what CNY prep was really about - fun family activities and preparation for relatives to come together. 

So I guess Helen Russell and her book are right after all. While I may not have placed much importance on traditions, traditions do bind the family and bring us together. The value of family and community can never be overrated. 

Thank you to Panadol Malaysia for collaborating on this blog post. This Chinese New Year, Panadol ActiFast is helping you get back to the moments that matter, quickly. 

Buy RM15 worth of Panadol at any Guardian store and Whatsapp/MMS your receipt to [phone] by Friday 2 March for your chance to win a trip to Disneyland Hong Kong or RM500 worth of shopping vouchers!Every submission will receive a special gift. Terms and conditions apply. Visit http://bit.ly/2rX39b1 for details.

#PanadolMalaysia #ChineseNewYear #EveryMinuteMatters #sponsored #ad #asian #tradition #chinese #chinese culture #happiness is #pursuit of happiness #how to be happy

[graciouslittlethings]

My Visit to Cornerstone Orphanage Home in Semenyih

“I’m bringing the both of you to an orphanage tomorrow,” I declared to my boys, who were fighting over Legos and Hot Wheels. 

“What’s an orphanage, Mummy?” asked Dozer as Baby Dino whacked him with a Hot Wheels track. 

“It’s a place where you can see how lucky you both are, because you have Mummy and Daddy.” (Typical Asian way of speaking.) “The kids in the orphanage have no Mummy or Daddy.” 

“Why don’t they have Mummy or Daddy?” asked Dozer with some concern. He’s tender-hearted that way. 

To be honest, I’d never been to an orphanage myself. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect:

An institution where children were treated like students and nothing more?

A group of children who would never know the love of their parents?

I was going to Cornerstone Orphanage in Semenyih as part of Little Baby Grains’ Corporate Social Reponsibility initiative. 

In December, we had pledged to donate 1kg of rice to the orphanage, for every pack of Little Baby Grains purchased made from our website. We had managed to accumulate 80kg of rice to be donated and the car boot was now loaded up with 80kg of rice.

So off we went to the orphanage on a Saturday morning. The first thing that greeted us were the sounds of laughter and children playing. They were cleaning the porch (and playing with water). 

The kids were older kids, ranging from age 7 to those in their teens. Angie, the founder, warmly invited us in, and after we carried in the rice donated by Little Baby Grains, she showed us around the orphanage. 

Everything was very well-kept, cosy and clean. It did not feel like an establishment, in fact, it felt very much like a home. Listening to Angie speak about the children with pride, her love and care for them were very much evident. 

She told us about the oldest boy, who had now graduated and was working. He still stayed with them and contributed financially to the orphanage. He is the artistic one and helped her to paint the orphanage with the murals. 

She showed us the picture of a pretty teenager, who had already grown up and had gone back home to live with her mother, a single parent. 

“This boy was only 7 when he came and he’s already in secondary school now,” she pointed to a laughing boy. 

“How do the children find their way to the orphanage?” I asked. 

“The church pastor usually finds these kids. Some of them are really orphans but we also have children of single parents, who can’t afford to care for them, or children from a very poor financial background. Staying here gives them a chance at a better life, and enables them to go to school.” 

Angie continued to recount her experiences throughout the years of taking care of these children. It was clear that the children were probably a lot happier in the orphanage, than where they had come from. So much for trying to show my kids the other side of life, because all my kids could see were a bunch of happy kids playing with water and teasing each other. 

Of course, we couldn’t see their past experiences, the hardships that they had gone through and the things that they had probably seen despite their innocent age, but it was definitely heartwarming, knowing that they were now in good hands, under the care of a selfless lady who had dedicated her life to caring for these underprivileged children. 

From what I could witness, the kids lived a very normal life. They went to school, they did their homework, they played together, went to church on Sundays and had pets! They didn’t have their parents with them, but they had Angie, whom they called Mummy. 

In fact, they were better brought-up, more independent and more disciplined than most kids (including my rascals). They had a daily schedule, they did house chores according to their roster and many of them could already cook from a young age. 

Angie fondly talked about their cooking competitions, which they would organise and their creative meals which they whipped up. She shared the outings they had and what they did on school holidays. People like Angie are really the ones who make the world a better place.

The whole visit was such an eye-opener for me. I hadn’t had any expectations, but I certainly went away, with a greater conviction that no matter what our circumstance in life, there is so much to be grateful for. Whether our lives are complete is really what we choose to make of it.

Happiness is not a result of what we have, rather it is a daily choice to make. 

I went to the orphanage, thinking to show my children “the other side of life”, but instead, ended up learning so much myself. Thank you, Angie, for allowing us to visit and for the opportunity to contribute. 

Cornerstone Orphanage requires 50kg of rice every week, and numerous essentials. They do not receive any help from the government and rely solely on donations from kind-hearted souls. To make a contribution, please contact Angie at Cornerstone Orphanage.

Even if you cannot contribute financially or in kind, sharing this post will help them gain more public awareness and potentially reach the eyes of more people who can help. A simple click can go a long way. 

Cornerstone Orphanage Contact Details Contact Number: 03-87232028 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Cornerstone-Orphanage-Home-710527305761656/

#orphanage #csr #outreach #little baby grains

[graciouslittlethings]

Real Life Drama

I heard a loud crash from downstairs as I was in the midst of changing my boys into their pyjamas. 

A REALLY LOUD CRASH. 

Running out, I shouted down the staircase to my helper, “What happened? What fell down?”

“This...this...,” was the only reply. 

Running down the stairs, with 2 very curious (and excited) little detectives following suit, I found my helper in the bathroom with a sight that never would have crossed my mind in a million years. (OK, maybe 30 years, since I’m not a million years old.)

As I write this post now, I’m thinking that the paragraphs above would make a really good opening to a story book, except that this was no story. 

It was a real life scene last night. 

I’m actually quite glad that I can sit here and write this with some humour, even if at that moment, I was going through a whole lot of feelings and laughing certainly did not make the list.

AMAZEMENT - ANGER - DUMBFOUNDED - SHOCK - EXASPERATION

Really, what else could you feel if you saw a broken sink, a badly cut and profusely bleeding finger and a big garden stone on the floor?

And for that matter...

WHAT ON EARTH IS A GARDEN STONE DOING IN MY BATHROOM???

My helper was helplessly (pun unintended) holding her bleeding finger under running water. She looked like she was going to burst into tears any second. 

“Hold the wound with your other finger,” I told her. 

She squeezed it hard.

“No! Just hold it. Don’t squeeze it! You’ll only squeeze more blood out!” 

My helper started waving her cut finger around, splashing blood on my wall tiles, floor and all over the broken sink. 

“HOLD STILL,” I repeated, loudly, this time.

“The sink, Madam. How?” She tried to point at it splashing more blood everywhere. 

I was in no mood to win the best employer award of the year. 

“HOLD STILL AND STOP WAVING YOUR HAND AROUND. YOU’RE GETTING BLOOD EVERYWHERE!” 

She finally stopped and stood still, while I quickly washed off the blood from everywhere before my kids could get their hands on it. 

“Why is there a stone in this bathroom?” I asked, as I was washing off the blood.

“I use it...for bathing...,” was the reply.

I managed to piece together the whole scenario. When my helper first arrived, I had given her a plastic basket for her to store her toiletries neatly. This plastic basket was to be placed onto the bathroom shelf, which is very high. 

Clearly, the plastic basket must have fallen down, along with the garden stone in it, crashing onto the sink and breaking it. 

When the bathroom was finally clean, I told her not to move and to continue holding her finger until I returned.

The kids were buzzing with excitement but very obedient, all of a sudden. They allowed me to change them and tuck them into bed without any fuss. 

The power of drama is amazing.

After the kids were settled, I rummaged through our medicine box and found some gauze and tape. I bandaged my helper’s wound (thankfully, the bleeding stopped by the time I returned downstairs), threw away the broken pieces, then set about taping up the sink with huge amounts of cellophane tape and plastic. It had an open gaping hole now, with sharp edges that could cut anyone who brushed against it.

Finally, I sent my helper off to bed with a stern instruction that she was to wake me - even if it were the middle of the night - if her finger started bleeding again. 

All of this chose to take place on the one night that my husband was not in. In fact, it was probably a good thing that he wasn’t in, else I would probably have been less kinder to my helper. The fact that I had to attend to both my boys and my helper all on my own, made me less emotional and more focused on managing the whole situation!

After the whole thing blew over, my anger and irritation set in as the thoughts started running through my head. 

Who puts a heavy and big STONE on a very high shelf??? Where is the common sense?!?!

AND MY SINK!!! Now I’d have to find a sink and someone who could replace it ASAP because it is now a safety hazard!!!

What if it had fallen down and broken my toilet bowl!?!? 

What if it had fallen and broken my floor tiles?!?! 

OR WORSE!!! What if it had fallen down on the boys while they were using the bathroom???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This thought was really the final straw and I had to take many deep breaths to control my anger and irritation. 

There is no happy ending and the end of this post leaves me with yet another task to add to my already long list of to-dos but I do have one final takeaway.

No matter what happens, things could always be worse. 

And here’s another takeaway. 

DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO BRING GARDEN STONES INTO YOUR HOUSE!!!

#personal #real life drama

[graciouslittlethings]

NuvaPineA, a Natural Alternative for Gastritis

My schedule has never been as hectic as it has for the past 3 months! Amidst growing the number of retailers for Little Baby Grains, I’ve also been busy organising pop-up stores for Petite Troopers and being more hands on with other tasks, which were otherwise delegated to others. A growing business, holiday season and 2 young children is otherwise known as a recipe for…

…GASTRIC.

I’ve been plagued by gastric since my college days. After a really horrific bout of gastric when I was 19, I have put in a lot more effort into ensuring my mealtimes are somewhat regular. Unfortunately after I started working, my gastric attacks would crop up every now and then and it wasn’t long before I realised that the gastric episodes weren’t just about irregular mealtimes, they were stress-related.

So, what did I do?

The usual. I took charcoal pills, and gastric medication prescribed by the GPs. After awhile, I stopped taking them altogether. I hardly felt any relief and when my gastritis was especially severe, I didn’t feel the efficacy of the medication.

After I became a mother, I am especially more careful about medication! I try to avoid medications as much as possible, even when I’m sick, due to the fact that I’m breastfeeding.

So last month, when I was prepping for my pop-up stores and struggling to manage even more than I usually did, it happened.

The gastric episodes.

I was too busy to care about eating and when the pain came, I knew it was too late. I was stressed, rushing against time and had reverted to my bad habits of irregular mealtimes, which was a perfect concoction for gastritis!

It was so bad that I almost thought I should try the gastric medications, but then, I learnt about NuvaPineA.

Have you heard of NuvaPineA?

Unlike most gastric medications, NuvaPine A contains the patented ingredient Bioeffective® A, which apparently, has been in use since the 1930s! Bioeffective® A, which is made in Australia, has a botanical research program in various different therapeutic areas, spanning the last 80 years.

While that sounds impressive, here’s the clincher.

Bioeffective® A is a pine conifer green needle extract, which means that it is a natural substance.

I’m all for natural ingredients over medication, if possible, but sometimes, natural treatments tend to have a lower efficacy. Impressively though, clinical studies found that patients treated with Bioeffective® A experienced a 92% improvement in gastrointestinal dyspeptic symptoms and GERD (acid reflux), including improvement of symptoms such as gastritis, gas and bowel disorders. Not only that, patients also experienced a return of normal stomach functionality besides a reduction in pre-cancerous lesions.

NuvaPineA® has been shown to be a powerful tummy healing agent. For gastritis sufferers, this pine green substance works by healing those areas of the tummy damaged by inflammation and injured by acid. When the stomach lining is nicely patched up, then gastritis is resolved. For those struggling with acid reflux problems, it is the valves guarding the opening of the stomach which are in trouble, letting out acid which is hurting the oesophagus. Here, NuvaPineA too helps heal and strengthen those gate keepers so acid stays where it is. These multiple actions lead to the return of optimal stomach functions without the side effects of conventional acid-blocking medications. (Source: NuvaPineA)

As a start the recommended dose for acid reflux patients is 320mg three times a day. Each dose is to be taken about 30 minutes before meals. (Source: NuvaPineA)

I was definitely more than happy to discover a natural and clinically proven alternative to medication for my gastritis!

Also do keep a look out for the double dose NuvaPineA box which offers greater convenience as you only need to take one capsule each time instead of the two capsules (NuvaPineA 160mg) I tried.

Thank you, Nuvapine, for kindly sponsoring this blog post!

#nuvapinea #nuvapine #naturalalternatives #gastritis #gastric

[graciouslittlethings]

3 Asian Smoothie Recipes with Ginger for the Family

My mother-in-law has a very high opinion of ginger. And for good reason. Ginger is an Asian plant which is touted for its medicinal and healing properties. It can be a little “spicy” to the taste, so adding ginger to juices makes it a great way to incorporate it into your little one’s diet!

The weather has been so cold recently, so I thought of sharing 3 really great Asian smoothie recipes with ginger. We usually do smoothies instead of juice because smoothies means you blend everything and eat the fibre as well! I call it Asian because I’ve taken the liberty of substituting the veggies with our local vegetables at the market / grocers!

Tips:

1. I usually use young ginger when juicing for my kids so that it is not as “spicy”.

2. I would generally recommended these recipes for toddlers from ages 2 onwards. 

4. The recipes below are for 2 adults and 2 toddlers and the kids only take about half a cup each.

Beetroot Apple Juice

- 1 medium-sized beetroots (raw)  - 1 apples (green, but usually I just use whatever I have) - 2 carrots - 1/2 cucumber (skin peeled) - 1″ piece of fresh ginger  - Water (I have to add water because I’m blending the fruits rather than juicing it)

Pineapple Vegetable Juice

- 4 celery stalks - 1/2 cucumber - 1 cup pineapple - 1 apple (green, but usually I just use whatever I have) - 1/2 cup Chinese mustard greens / sawi / bayam - 1 lemon, seeds and skin removed - 1″ piece of fresh ginger - Water (I have to add water because I’m blending the fruits rather than juicing it)

This juice is touted to be anti-inflammatory i.e. good for boosting the immune system. FYI, most illnesses are a result of inflammation. 

Veggie Juice

- 1 small bunch baby bok choy / siu pak choy - 1 apple - 2″ piece of fresh ginger - 1 clove garlic - 1 lemon, seeds and skin removed - 1 cucumber (skin peeled) - 1/2 bunch coriander (optional) - Water (I have to add water because I’m blending the fruits rather than juicing it)

When one is having a cold, under traditional Chinese medicine practice, fruits are usually a no-no as they are considered too “cold” for the body. As this juice is more veggie than fruits, this makes a good alternative to boost your little ones with nutrients. 

Happy smoothie-ing!

[graciouslittlethings]

What I’ve Learnt in 2017

I’ve been thinking about what to share on the blog for my first post of 2018. It is a new year, after all, and (not that it really matters to anyone except maybe myself), I wanted my first post to be meaningful.  

When I started Gracious Little Things, I intended for it to be a platform for sharing my baby and parenting experiences, but over time, as I got to know some of you better, I started opening up and I realised that I have been sharing more and more personal posts!

And so...

I think it is very apt that I start off this new year by sharing a very personal and meaningful lesson. 

I have often mentioned that I come from a humble background. We weren’t poor, but with hindsight, I believe that “not being poor” was really due to my parents’ great discipline in prioritising whatever limited resources they had.They literally sacrificed their personal wants for their children. As a result, I never really knew what it was to be poor. I was comfortable and happy. The flipside of the coin was that my parents drove really old cars, never went for any holidays and hardly ever bought any new clothes, or really, anything at all. 

My parents were determined that their children would not have the same financial worries that they had, so they set us up for professional career paths and I was happy to go along with their plans. Even though I ended up choosing the corporate path instead of becoming a doctor, as they would rather have me choose, I never (not even once) envisioned myself living my life any other way. 

Yes, I would be a corporate worker for life. 

As most of you already know, things got a little interesting after I became a mother and I ended up deviating from the path my parents had planned for me, by first, becoming a stay-at-home mother, then a business owner. 

It sounds glamorous but I can assure you that it is far from that. It would probably be very glamorous if my business capital was from my father, or if my parents were the type who would and could top up my bank account whenever they felt like it. 

Well, no.

Every single cent (or should I say “sen” since we’re in Malaysia) is a result of hard earned savings over the years. Plus Z and I are lucky enough to have worked overseas as expatriates, which boosted our savings tremendously.

Anyway, that is not my point.

My point is, from the moment I stopped becoming an employee, every minute has been a very enriching experience and within a short one year, I have learnt more about life than I ever could have for the past 10 years. 

The first thing that happened when I stopped working was, of course, the absence of a monthly positive to my bank account. With fixed monthly expenses like groceries and kids, and commitments like housing and car loans, a drastic change was required. 

BUT.

Awareness and implementation are worlds apart. Making the change was incredibly harder than I thought it would be.

I cannot even begin to describe the phases I went through. Denial, indignance, anger (yes, even anger!), sadness and envy (you know, social media). 

It was a horrible place to be in. I knew how lucky I was to have a supportive husband, willing to take on the financial burden. I knew how blessed I was to even be able to afford this opportunity to be the primary caretaker to my children. BUT I complained at having to cut back and exercise restraint when it came to spending and then I felt ashamed for having such “evil” thoughts when I was already luckier than most people. 

At one point, it broke my heart, thinking of all that my parents had sacrificed to avoid having their children go through the same worries they had, and yet, here I was, living the way they did, all because I was not prepared to outsource my children’s upbringing to somebody else. 

Then, there were (and still are) the worries about my future.

I was no longer contributing to my EPF and I no longer had a buffer for my medical emergencies. I would have to rely on my personal insurance and if that weren’t enough, then my savings. All these things never really seem daunting until something hits you hard, like my mother’s cancer and her relapse last year. 

Amidst all these turmoil and personal struggles, something beautiful happened.

I started to empathise more with stories in the news. I was able to comprehend better when the vegetable seller aunty at the wet market talked about her financial struggles. I stopped bargaining with sellers (OK, maybe I still do but a lot more reasonably these days) and I noticed that whenever I said “thank you”, I meant it a lot more.

One of the biggest problems which I now see in a lot of people, is the feeling of entitlement. It’s a malady which affects many people in corporate and apparently, it’s also a big problem in our youths today. 

I know. I used to be one of them.

I used to think that I deserved that paycheck, that promotion and that bonus. I deserved those perks and allowances at work. But living on the other side of the coin and being a business owner took away a lot of my assumptions and feelings of entitlement. 

A year of frugal living AND managing a start-up with all its challenges and business dynamics has humbled me greatly.

So what I have learnt in 2017 is to be truly, truly thankful for what I have. It has been a challenging experience in every sense - financially, emotionally, spiritually - but really, I think it was God, who was answering my prayer when I asked for him to make me a better person. 

And now, 2018! What would I wish for in this new year ahead?

There is this story in the Bible about a king named Solomon. At the start of his reign, God asked him what he would like to have and the story goes that Solomon did not ask for riches, nor fame or even a long life. He only asked for one thing: wisdom.

OK, I’m nowhere near Solomon. 

(Gotcha, didn’t I?)

I cannot truthfully say that if I were to be asked the same question, I’d also ask for wisdom and nothing else. 

There’s a part of me that still wants an easier life, (less financial worries, and um, no worries about my kids’ education, please, oh and also my retirement, and can you throw in like a really thorough medical insurance that covers anything and everything?), but I certainly get it a lot more now.

Having lived through a period of time in my life where I hardly had any financial worries and having lived through now, I realise that the cliche stands true. No matter what my station is in life, there are bound to be worries at each stage! 

And so...while I may feel otherwise, I know that wisdom is probably a better thing to ask for. 

Cheers to 2018 and may we all be wiser and more mature!

#personal #2017 in review #the year that was