kolanaki

[kolanaki]

I am curious how many other people can find meaning from "I Want You Gone" that doesn't solely apply to the story of Portal 2. I, personally, really felt the lyrics "remember when you tried to kill me twice," "I used to want you dead but now I only want you gone," when applied to my marriage and ex-wife.

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #portal #glados #want you gone

[kolanaki]

Carbonaro Effect bit where he's acting as a hotel desk person and when someone tries to check out, he jokingly says "You can check out any time you'd like, but you can never leave!" Then he slowly fades out of existence while laughing.

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #carbonaro effect #magic #illusions

[kolanaki]

I just got a sudden craving for James Blunt to make a return hit that's just a sequel to You're Beautiful where he tracks down the girl from the subway and it ends with him wearing her face like a mask.

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts

[kolanaki]

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

But two birds in your bush is worth jail time and a hefty fine.

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #Why would you stick birds up there anyway?

[kolanaki]

Ah man... I read the recipe wrong and accidentally made cherry compost when I was supposed to make a cherry compote. 🤦‍♂️

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #cooking

[kolanaki]

You can smell a smell, but you can't stink a stink.

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #smell goes both ways #like a bisexual

[kolanaki]

Imagine if Disney Land changed the Jungle Cruise ride but the only change was that all the boat operators that tell the stupid puns are Dwayne Johnson lookalikes.

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts

[kolanaki]

Things I can talk about at length:

with passion:

Video games

Food

Animals

Comedy

With anger:

Politics

Things that annoy me

Video games

My own history

Corporate bullshit

Work

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #anti work #video games #work reform #gaming #animals #comedy #food #politics #history #cyberpunk #dystopia

[kolanaki]

#shitpost #humor #funny #im_a_21st_century_digital_boy

[kolanaki]

Imagine if Daikatana actually had made everyone John Romero's bitch.

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #john romero #daikatana #doom #fps

[kolanaki]

"So you think you're better than Rogue from the X-Men?"

"I am better than Rogue from the X-Men!"

"Oh yeah? Gimme one reason why."

"Last I checked, I didn't need a super power to kill anything I touch."

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #x men #rogue

[kolanaki]

Sign on bathroom door of an art museum:

"Please do not defecate on the walls and sign it 'Jackson Poollock.'"

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts

[kolanaki]

I have 3 demands for Nickelodeon:

1. Bring back Legends of the Hidden Temple

2. Make the obstacles and trivia for adults.

3. Put me on the Purple Parrots.

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #legends of the hidden temple #nickelodeon

[kolanaki]

Hold up... Barbarism isn't when someone goes around shaving people's hair off? 🤔

#shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts

[kolanaki]

I just want an errant bullet fired off in celebration of the New Year to hit me in the head so I don't have to do another year of this bullshit.

[kolanaki]

"Stimpy! I need to get out of this dead end job! Please, put me out of my misery!"

*Hands Stimpy a meat cleaver*

"Well... Okay, Ren. If it means that much to ya."

*Swings, chops off Ren's arm*

"YOU EEEDIOT!"

#shitpost #funny #humor #random thoughts #anti work #ren & stimpy

[kolanaki]

#the joke is in there somewhere #shitpost #humor #funny #random thoughts #its totally true dont deny it