# and there are def others that i've learned from but the post was getting Long

[comradekatara]

I saw your toph+katara gender post and honestly... thank you for being one of few ppl i've seen who actually do a deeper analysis of toph? Most people tend to just go "i love toph she's cool <3" and while that's fine, its so nice to actually see someone Get Her. Esp wrt her gender expression and relationship to femininity. She's always been v imporant to me, like when i was like 12 i used to watch youtube clips of the toph+katara spa day scene on repeat and have Feelings abt it (still think its a super interesting scene??). Imo, while a lot of her expression is def rebelling (+overcompensating) and doing the oposite of her feminine upbringing, a lot of it is also a genuine JOY at being covered in dirt/burping/being loud and crass and tough? Idk i just feel like a lot of her contemporary "tomboy" characters were more defined as "ugh i hate Skirts and Dresses", but tophs brand of gnc joy and complex relationship w femininity always hit closer For Me? Like. She's loud and crass and rude and badass and cool, she does find it fun to dress girly but as like an Activity with a buddy, she's overjoyed at being portrayed as a big buff dude ("that's exactly how i would cast it!"), she's actually very spiritual and perceptive when not in Loud Mode, she keeps her fancy hairstyle but adds messy bangs, idk she's just. Character of all time. I'd love to hear if you have more thoughts on toph+gender (or just toph in general), and thank you for actually Understanding Her <33

YES!!!!! i have so many thoughts and feelings on toph. she is one of my absolute favorite characters i truly love her so much, and like you said, i hate when people dismiss her even as they claim to love her. "she's so badass" like okay, and?

toph is also just very important to me as her disability informs so much of her arc. and that disability is also inextricable from her gender and her family and all the factors that shape who she is, her strengths and her insecurities. you cannot separate her parents' abuse from her gender, class, or blindness. it's the combination of being an aristocratic blind girl that informs who she is and how she's perceived, especially by her family. she's an only child in a family that would clearly desire at least one son, and you cannot help but wonder whether they stopped at one for eugenicist purposes, whether they couldn't bear the "pain" of risking having another disabled child. and also because they clearly consider having a blind child such a handful that any other child would draw their attention away from her dire, pressing needs. so they completely smother her, but they also dismiss her, trivialize her desires and ignore her feelings and treat her more like a fragile porcelain doll than a person.

it's why, by the time of "the chase," she gets inordinately defensive over katara's suggestion that she pitch in when setting up camp. i see a lot of people claim that toph in this episode is acting like a spoiled brat who refuses to do manual labor because she's too wealthy to understand, but that's not actually the case. toph is fine with doing manual labor (she literally spent who knows how long working in an underground wrestling ring, she's not unaccustomed to work), but she's averse to helping others. as she says, "i carry my own weight." she's establishing, erroneously but understandably, that her idea of affording others respect is assuming that everyone behaves on an individual basis. she's never had friends before, by her own admission, and so in her mind, the only model she's ever seen for "helping others" is smothering them, denying their agency, and deciding everything for them.

toph thinks that katara is a bitch because katara is suggesting that toph meddle in other people's affairs, instead of respecting their own business. and katara thinks that toph is a bitch because she does just straight up assume that toph is a spoiled brat who doesn't understand the value of community. and while toph isn't a spoiled brat, learning the value of community is indeed integral to her arc. and more than simply communal values of helping and sharing with others, she also learns to rely on them in turn. she learns how to embrace her vulnerability, and let others carry her weight for her. her apotheosis in the finale is literally hanging onto sokka, who is holding her entire weight with one hand, for dear life. putting her complete faith in him to carry her and protect her as he always does.

that ability to embrace her vulnerability among the people she actually trusts to not only love and support her, but also to recognize her as a human being and care about her as a a peer, is so crucial to her identity as someone who has learned from years of ableist stigma to put walls up and present herself as someone uniquely powerful and invulnerable. and it's not that she isn't uniquely powerful, but her strength is also largely a projection. it's why she's so delighted to be portrayed by a big buff man, because that's the kind of person she wishes she could be, so that she wouldn't have to be underestimated and belittled and oppressed by people who dismiss her and coddle her and disrespect her and, quite literally, put her in a box.

so if toph's experience with disability is informed by her class and her upbringing, then let's now turn to her experience with gender, which is equally informed by her background. katara often balks at toph's less feminine presentation, because despite her incredibly righteous crusade against limiting patriarchal standards, she nonetheless has her own hangups when it comes to gender. but then again, so does toph. just as katara disdains toph's masculinity, toph finds katara's femininity offensive because her only real model for femininity in her experience is that of aristocratic wifehood. poppy beifong, to be exact, who is not exactly a girlboss (let alone a revolutionary, like katara is). and when katara tries to shove toph back into a box, toph resists because of course she does, that's who she is. she's not going take what she experiences as violent repression lying down.

toph is wrong in "the runaway" to exclude katara from their fun, and she is wrong to call compare her to a mother, but it's not out of nowhere. there is an obvious precedent to these actions. katara is a genuinely feminine girl who loves to boss people around and dictate how they should live their lives. to toph, this is the most egregious sin imaginable. katara, through her femininity and authoritative attitude, is positioning herself, in toph's eyes, as her mother. and toph calls her out for being overbearing and claims that katara hates fun and wants to boss everyone around for this reason, even though sokka is obviously the primary fun-hating, overbearing member of the group.

however, sokka never dictates how toph should act or dress, sokka never made fun of toph for being blind (which is a thing that really deserves its own post, if we're being honest). sokka makes them spend their vacation time at the library and enforces his color-coded schedules on them and generally brings down the vibe what with his neuroticism and severity, but he also laughs at toph's jokes and banters with her in a way that treats her as a friend and not as a rival. and unlike katara, whose desires and commands seem completely arbitrary to toph, sokka's commands are grounded in a logic that toph can understand. so even if from an outside perspective, toph's claim that a revolutionary teenage girl who loves to cause trouble and seeks adventure and joy around every corner is trying to be the overbearing mom of the group makes no sense, it makes perfect sense to toph, based on her history with femininity, overbearing mothers, and feminine overbearing mothers.

toph presents masculinely as compensation, as a way to make herself seem strong and tough instead of dainty and submissive as she was always made out to be. she associates masculinity with strength and femininity with weakness because that's the paradigm she grew up in. it's why she's always teasing aang about his supposed femininity and calling him "twinkle toes" (which, as sokka points out, isn't manly). in their first interaction, aang beat her in a fight and humiliated her in front of all her adoring fans, and avatar or not, toph's gonna make him pay for that by undermining him in turn, by using his presentation as a monk to mock him. even if aang isn't gay or even gender non-conforming (within the assumptions of his own culture), toph is still employing the logic of sexism/homophobia to undermine aang when she makes jokes about him being "more in touch with [his] feminine side than most guys." and of course, the nickname "twinkle toes" is also deeply affectionate, and aang (bless his heart) never actually takes offense to it. but toph is trying to establish herself as more powerful than him due to the humiliating knowledge that he could beat her in a fight, easily.

toph's masculinity is inextricably tied to her invulnerability. she wants to be taken seriously and treated as a human being, which is respect that has been denied to her due to her status as a blind girl, save for her blind bandit persona, which superficially empowered her and made her feel strong. it's not coincidence that her rival earthbender is a guy who is essentially a parody of masculinity. toph wants to position herself as equivalent, if not directly superior, to the Most Masculine Man, because that's how she'll be afforded respect, in her mind. but she is a girl. and there's a part of her that likes being a girl, and wishes she could explore her femininity more than she's allowed herself to, beyond the confines of the beifong mansion. she keeps her hair long because she still loves her family and holds out hope that maybe one day they can accept her (she comes from a culture modeled off of tang dynasty china, so her long hair is likely a product of her adherence to confucian values). and once she embraces it, she genuinely does get into being made over at the fancy lady day spa.

femininity has been a genuinely harmful and repressive agent in toph's life, and it's understandable that she would internalize some misogynistic notions surrounding girl/womanhood as they were foisted onto her her entire childhood. but femininity isn't ontologically harmful. femininity isn't ontological, period. i think as toph gets older, and her friendship with katara grows deeper as they both come to be more honest with each other, she would grow to embrace her masculinity in a more organic and less compensatory way. less of a "i'm not like other girls" complex (which itself is not something that girls should be mocked and punished for, but rather a product of a patriarchal system that oppresses and alienates women, thus leading many less gender-conforming girls to attempt to assert their agency and individuality in any way they can, even if it means putting down others in the process), and more so genuinely coming to embrace her butchness. (you don't necessarily have to read her as a baby butch, of course, but considering that being a masculine girl is important to her, i think that's a really lovely and beautiful synthesis of her relationship to gender as a character.)

i think toph would learn stop pitting masculinity and femininity against each other, and instead embrace whatever aspects of either (or neither) she desires, while nonetheless respecting everyone else's deal in turn. i think she would also, in a key turning point, realize that even if she loves her parents, she doesn't have any obligation to be the daughter they expect her to be, and cuts her hair. and as she grows more secure in herself (which comes with age, no twelve year old is truly confident in their own skin), she would stop feeling the need to put other people down to feel big, and be comfortable embracing her desires. and, credit to her, she's clearly already on her way. the progress she makes being vulnerable, especially around sokka, even in what is chronologically a matter of months, is huge.

toph isn't just "badass" because she's strong and powerful. but rather, what makes her so powerful, at least to disabled viewers who see their struggles reflected in hers, is her ability to grow with her environment, allowing herself to admit help, and letting herself be loved. if you couldn't already tell, toph is incredibly important to me.

#smultronviol #asks #toph #analysis #katara&toph #sokka&toph #aang&toph #poppy beifong #god she just means so much to me..... #i was trying not to make this too personal but like. baby disabled dyke. god she is so important. #not that i'm butch. but i think she is :) #also some of those links are better than others but i included all of them anyway lol #realizing now that i actually talk about toph a lot... #anyway. thank you for this ask #i really really appreciate it and took a while responding specifically because i wanted to have time to be thorough #not that this is like. The definitive toph essay #but i hope what i wrote here resonated #because like i said. she means a lot to me and i truly do feel like very few ppl understand her fully #she is so important blind bandit numero uno campeon del mundo

[gamebunny-advance]

Let's Just Rip Off This Band-Aid (Kliff Doll Repaint)

I still haven't finished adding the fringe to his scarf, but at this point, I don't think y'all will actually care that much. It's a personal project anyway, so I'll just finish it on my own time. Right now, I want to be released from the shackles of this project.

Once again, my poor camera and lack of editing do him no favors (he's got a real bad case of jaundice in that first pic. I PROMISE he's not that yellow-orange IRL ;o;), but he is (mostly) done.

Well, he was (mostly) done like a week ago, but just yesterday I decided to redo a few things to try and "fix" what was really bothering me about him, so I really made recursive progress. That said, I do like him more now than I did a week ago, so I'm not mad about it.

A little backstory: Alongside Kun3h0, I've been working on him for the past month, so I've been pretty occupied with this project for a while. Now, I do wonder to myself why exactly I thought making this would be a good idea. All I can really say is that my impulsive tendencies drive me to do things against my better judgement.

But, I will still give y'all my documentation and thoughts on the process + more pictures.

(I'll talk a little more about it later, but for those of you that aren't going to go through the long-ass readmore, the Neon J. mask is a reference to an old comic I drew.)

(It's so old, I was still writing everything by hand~)

So, the "real" answer to "why" I made this is really as simple as "because I could." As I said in the Kun3h0 post, I've been wanting to repaint dolls for a long time, years even, so in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of ways I could finally start one.

Well, recently I just finally put together the ideas and motivation I needed to start. And of course, that was with Kliff.

I don't remember *exactly* how I stumbled across everything, but I do recall looking at doll clothes online and stumbling across this trench coat (pictured with the other clothes for this project).

(I took this pic mostly because I thought I was going to take pics of every major step of the process, but that didn't end up happening).

I thought it was pretty darn close to Kliff's coat, and I got the horrible idea that, "I could def make a Kliff doll to go with this coat as long as I can repaint it."

I feel like usually people would think the other way around, but that is basically the truth of this project: I didn't find clothes to fit the doll, I made the doll to fit into the clothes. Because for me, customizing the doll wasn't really the intimidating part: it's making the clothes. I don't know how to use a sewing machine, and currently lack the patience to learn (and due to some personal trauma that I don't really want to get into), but I can hand-sew, so starting any project that involves it requires me to be willing to set aside a lot of energy for me to do it, which I don't often have.

But, if I could find ways to cut down on the sewing, then I'd be more willing to start. And somehow, I was able to find just about everything I would need for a potential Kliff doll without having to sew anything. In the end, I only sewed together one thing, and it's the one thing that isn't actually finished: the scarf.

So, I blame the trench coat for the entirety of this project: if I'd never seen it, I would have never made a Kliff doll. In fact, I got the clothes before I even had the doll.

Since I was brainstorming this project, one of the most important parts is of course the base doll, which was tricky. Male doll repaints are fairly uncommon, especially of older men, so there weren't a lot of resources or places to get inspiration for this project.

From what I found, most male (fashion) dolls were very youthful, and the ones that weren't usually took heavy modifications to achieve, which was out of the question. Kliff was supposed to be an "easy" project, so on top of not wanting to sew any clothes for him, I also didn't want to have to alter the doll that much to make it look like him. This was a lot to ask for without putting in any personal work, but in a way, this goal was supposed to keep me from actually starting this project: really this whole thing was supposed to just live in my head as a fantasy as most things do, but then I just stumbled into the right set of things, so I couldn't stop myself from going through with it.

The doll I landed on was a BTS Mattel doll. Now I've said before that I know basically nothing about BTS, and that is still true, but that's beside the point. In my research for finding a suitable doll to work with, I found out that a popular base were these BTS dolls. At first, I wasn't into it because I was still running into the "youthful face" problem that I was with other brands: most of them had pillowy lips and nice soft faces, but I did eventually find one that I thought was close enough: J-Hope.

(It's not the worst match up.)

I don't have pics of my doll before I started working on him, but it was pretty close to the stock photo. He has much thinner lips than the others, and a taller, more angular head shape that I thought would work best for Kliff. I did worry a bit that the nose wasn't "strong" enough to really be Kliff (and IMO, it wasn't XP), but it was the closest I found yet, so I decided to bite the bullet and get one, and if I had one, that meant I needed to start gathering everything I would need for this project.

So, no backing out now.

Now, actually acquiring this doll was a whole other song and dance, but here's the part that's important for how the process went:

Due to a miscommunication with the seller I eventually got him from, there was a delay with shipping, so I didn't actually get him until weeks after "officially" starting this project. In the meantime, the clothes and things for Kun3h0 (who I started as an impulse project within the impulse project) had already been gathered.

The original plan was that I was going to work on and subsequently post about Kliff first since he was a comparatively simpler project. All the things I was avoiding for Kliff: sewing clothes and making modifications to the doll, were all going to be incorporated into Kun3h0, so she was theorhetically going to take longer and be posted later, thus telling a small story of "starting simple, ending complex." But since I didn't have his doll, but didn't want to delay working on Kun3h0 just to wait on him, I started on her and repainting his clothes anyway.

So, I don't have any pics of the doll or his clothes from when I was working on them, unlike the sparse ones I had for Kun3h0, I only have pics from after he was finished.

But I'll still tell y'all what I can to at least preserve the story.

For starters, repainting this coat was probably the most time-consuming part of this process.

I really thought that it would take one or two days maximum to turn this coat bright yellow, but I think it actually took over a week. And I really should have known; the coat was a medium tone, and I know that yellow takes a while to build up on anything that isn't light. I lost count at some point, but I swear that thing has over 20 coats of paint on it. Mind you, the first 10 or so coats were watered down with the textile medium, which also contributed to how long it was taking for the coat to take color, but at some point I just got so frustrated that I stopped mixing in the medium and painting directly onto the coat to get the color to layer faster. This is a huge no-no for painting acrylics onto fabric, lest the paint crack from creasing the fabric, but I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I needed this thing to be dandelion yellow NOW or I was gonna lose it.

There were consequences for taking that shortcut, such as the paint cracking in high motion areas and the coat getting stiff, but it's not terrible. In the end, I accepted the trade-offs or else I might still be painting the coat. Perhaps one day I'll reverse engineer the pattern for the coat and make him a new one, but I wouldn't count on it. In retrospect, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had thought to bleach the coat first?

As you might notice, I contoured/shaded part of the coat in orange. That's something that I actually *just* added yesterday and added another couple of hours to the work time. It was just bothering me that the doll was essentially a giant slab of yellow, and was part of the reason I didn't like it very much. But I got inspired by this repaint to try contouring the coat to give it more depth.

(I also used this person's videos to modify the hands. He has one deidcated to just reshaping the BTS hands.)

In the end, I'm pretty happy with the results.

The rest of the clothes weren't as difficult to deal with.

The pants took the paint a lot better, likely due to being dark paint on a light surface. Since I used less paint, it's not as stiff as the coat and still go on very easily. Though, they are VERY high waisted, and I'm not sure if that's normal XP

The shoes are also painted (and slightly modified), though I had to paint them twice because the first time, the paint got stretched off when I tried to put them on the doll's feet: the shoes were just *slightly* too small for the feet of the doll, so they really get stretched to fit his feet, and his heels don't actually go in all the way XP.

He's still capable of standing on his own, but I try not to remove the shoes, so I can avoid having them crack again.

In my "initial clothes" pic, I put down a different shirt than the one he's wearing. The original plan was to repaint the shirt black, but my work space is very limited, so I couldn't really repaint three pieces of clothes at once without significantly risking that I would stain other things. In the end, after getting scarred by how long it was taking for the coat to take color, I decided to just give him one of the black shirts that came with the coat. This does make him somewhat inaccurate since the current shirt has flowers/plants on it, but I'm gonna say that they make up for the lack of flowers on his scarf. Maybe someday I'll make him a new shirt from an old sock or something, but for now, I don't think it's a bad look.

Other clothing of note is the scarf, but since it's not technically finished I didn't take any close pics of it. It's actually made of an old headband of mine that I just cut and painted to look like his scarf.

Originally, I had actually glued on ribbon to it for the stripes, which took a couple days for the drying, but because I couldn't flatten out the scarf to easily glue the ribbon, it turned into a mess and bulked it out too much: since the scale of the doll is already small, I really needed to keep the fabrics thin. This was especially important for the scarf since it was going to wrap around his neck: if it were any thicker, it was going to practically eat up his face, which it still does, just less so.

Speaking of face...

When I finally got the doll in the mail, I started working on him right away, so I don't have any "before" pics of the doll.

After I did the usual "wiping off the face and pulling out his hair," I started with repainting the entire body and head.

Despite Kliff being ambigously "WHITE 🫵," Kliff isn't as pale as the original doll. I'd say even the stock picture I posted above has more warmth than the actual doll did. So, I got the base to be "coral" all over, dusted him in light orange chalk pastels for contouring, and most of his details are outlined in shades of burgandy. I didn't take any nude pics of this doll, but he is countoured all over his body and you can rest easy knowing I gave him some nips XP. But maybe someday I'll show y'all doll!Kliff's washboard abs XP.

TBH, I did want to detail some tattoos and some body hair too, but I just didn't trust myself to do either of those well with the tools I have (my brushes aren't thin enough, and my hand not steady enough for those kind of intricate details). Maybe someday I'll at least get his tattoos in (and after I've actually designed them XP), but we'll see. I don't plan on having the doll in short sleeved clothes very often, so details like that are the least of my concerns.

TBH, I was pretty proud of how the face paint originally went on. I really took my time to make sure it went down flat. It really was beautifully smooth~

But disaster struck.

I had painted the head while it was still separated from the body, and when it finally came time to reunite them, the paint on the head cracked and peeled when I shoved it back on. And, foolish fool that I am, instead of accepting my losses and starting over from a perfectly clean head, I just peeled the lose ends and repainted the exposed parts, which of course made the paint uneven. I somewhat justified this with the idea that most of it would be covered by other details, but in retrospect, I really should have just started over properly.

But, after that ordeal was over with, it was time to actually work on the face.

I can't clearly remember if I worked on Kun3h0 or Kliff's face first. I think I worked on them simultaneously because it took me a LONG time to actually get the courage to work on Kun3h0's face.

I thought I did a decent job on Kun3h0 since I really only had the 1 eye to repaint (the hidden eye is painted, but it's basically just a void with no details), and it was a bigger "canvas", so it was easier to paint. Besides having 2 eyes that I would need to make nearly identical, they were also a lot smaller, so it took a lot longer to paint them in a way that satisfied me (and since it's not easy to "redo" acrylic paint, his eyes lost a lot of smoothness too).

Again, I don't have any "before" pics, so it won't be easy for me to convey my troubles about it, but I do want to say that I think Kliff with a closed mouth is very cursed.

:I

He just looks like he's itching to say something heinous and that is no different for the doll.

It was so difficult for me both match his expression on a face that wasn't *completely* his and still look like him. Although I chose this doll because he most resembled Kliff, he was never gonna be a perfect likeness of him, but despite knowing this, it still bothered me that the face was still just very "young" looking.

Granted, I don't think the original Kliff looks *that* old either (if I didn't know any better, I would assume he was in his 30s, not his 50s, especially compared to other characters around the same age), but still not as *smooth* as the doll is (even with my paint mishaps).

If you can believe it, the face actually used be worse. I don't have pics of it, but like the coat, I actually repainted his face yesterday to again try and fix what was making me dislike it before. I think the problem is that I didn't outline the eyes as much as the final one (like, I don't think I lined his undereye at all), so he was lacking depth. The mouth was also a little more off. Instead of being like "<--->" it was more like "|-|"

(A rough illustration of what I'm trying to describe.)

So, while it's still not perfect, I do like him more today than I did a week ago.

I think the only things left to talk about are his accessories, starting with his wig:

I'm not actually a big fan of the color. When I started this project, I wanted to try and make him as accurate as possible, and the original Kliff design has a very "cherry jolly rancher" hair color.

However, how I draw him and how he appears in Encore Edition gives his hair a more red-orange tone which isn't as intense. In the end, I opted for accuracy towards his first design since that's the one I was technically most familiar with and wanted to replicate, but in retrospect, I should have realized that I was never gonna be able to seperate my personal quirks from this personal project, so I should have gone with a color that was more accurate to how I interpret him. (I dunno if I would have gone as far as to give him triangular eyes, but one of my biggest takeaways from this project has been that I should have just allowed this to be "my take" on the character instead of trying to be "accurate," meeting in the middle, and satisfying neither condition.)

I don't think I really got across how much I HATED brushing out yarn for the wigs when I posted Kun3h0. It was just such a tedidus process, from brushing it out, to straightening it, to gluing it down. It was such a mess. I'm still finding loose wisps of yarn hair floating around my home since I made them.

Since I had more than had my fill from making Kun3h0's wig, I once again started taking shortcuts when it came to Kliff: I really should have made more wefts for him. I figured since his hair was (compartively) shorter, that I wouldn't need to make as many, but in the end his wig turned out both too thin and too thick.

Since his hair is so messy, I didn't follow any kind of guide for his hair like I did Kun3h0. I basically just glued around the perimeter of the cap, horizontally on the inside, and made sure it would fold over in the front.

Part of the problem is that I made the wefts too thick: instead of just gluing down what could actually touch the surface of the work area, I wound up gluing layers on top of each other, so the wefts would be like a mm thick when they should have been less than half of that. So, I barely got enough coverage for the scalp, and the parts that I did get down are very thick. I think it makes his head look bigger than it should which kinda adds to the uncanniness of him.

I did try to style it as close to canon as possible, but there are some things that just aren't (easily) possible in certain mediums, and Kliff's wild hair is one of them.

In retrospect, I probably should have just sculpted his hair with clay or something: it probably would have been more accurate, but I don't have much confidence in my sculpting ability, and again, I didn't want to modify the doll that much, so I stuck with the yarn.

I might suck it up and try and make him a new wig, I still have a LOT of red yarn left over, so maybe I can make him some new styles too. But the tedium of going through with it makes it very unlikely that I'll follow through~

(The wig from other angles.)

Since the beard is made from the same yarn, I'll lightly talk about that. There aren't too many resources about bearded dolls, but I've seen people root it, glue it, and even just paint it if they weren't supposed to be thick. In the end I used this repaint for reference (suggestive content warning) and glued it on.

The scarf covers most of it, but I think it turned out okay. I need to add just a *little* more to his left cheek, but otherwise I feel like I was successful.

Next, it's usually hidden due to all the crap that's on his head, but I did give him an earring.

I didn't think about it until way too late in the process, and I tried to poke a hole through his ear so he could actually wear it. However, when I tried to do so, I almost ruined his head paint a second time. Saying, "fuck that," I decided to just glue it on.

If I had been more brave with modifying this doll, I might have just resculpted his ears entirely, because, being based on a real life human being, the doll's ears don't flare out that much, so they're easily covered by other things.

His glasses are just a piece of painted plastic that hold to his face using some plastic cord. They fit well while his wig is off, but putting them on with everything else is a goddamn nightmare.

Since his ears are so small, and his hair is so short, there's nothing for the glasses to "grab" onto without the cord, but the cord is too short to fit around the wig once it's on, but I can't make the cord longer to sit over the wig, because the glasses need to go over the headband, and it's a pain in the ass trying to layer everything like that.

So, I have to put the glasses in place first, TAPE the cord to his scalp so they don't move, put on the wig, then put on the headband. It's really such a hassle, but I don't think I can truly convey the annoyance of having to do it all without showing you. So, unless I absolutely have to, I'm never taking any of those things off him again.

I think the last things are the headband, mask, and tablet.

The headband is just a spare scrunchy that I have. I don't have one in the *exact* same color as the real one, so I went with the closest one I had, which was this teal color.

I didn't feel comfortable repainting one since it's essentially an elastic band, I don't think the paint, even with the textitle medium, would be able to hold up to all the stretching I have to do to even get it on his head.

If I happen to find a white one somewhere in my stash, then I might try dyeing it using water and acrylic paints to see if I can get it green, but for now, I think this works. A little thick, but it works.

The tablet is just a piece of foam painted with paint markers and the mask is a piece of cardboard. I wasn't planning on really recreating any scenes with this doll, but since I remembered that comic, and thought it would be easy enough to make, I went ahead and made it as an in-joke to myself.

Honestly, I think it's the most charming piece of the entire ensemble. Plus, he can wear it without me having undo/redo any of his other head accessories, so it's easy to make him wear it whenever.

My final comments about the doll itself are that he's fucking huge. I should have taken a pic of him next to Kun3h0, but he is too tall to even fit on my display shelf without sitting.

(Please ignore any mess you might see in the reflection. This is just one of the only flat pieces of furniture he can stand on without me standing on something to take a pic.)

Despite my interests, I don't actually collect dolls (I'm more into figures and plushies), so I wasn't expecting him to be so big. In fact, Kun3h0, who would be considered a small to medium doll in collector's spaces, was also bigger than I thought she'd be, so you can imagine my surprise when I got my hands on him.

So... I don't really know where I can put him. He obviously can't live in front of my TV, but beyond being too big for my shelf, he also doesn't fit in with any of my other collectibles. And I'll be honest, the contrast of him "clearly not belonging" among my more "kawaii" items was a motivator in starting this project, I live for the gap moe after all, but in practice he really just sticks out like a sore thumb. (This is also why his first pics are in a slightly different location without many props. I just couldn't put together anything from my collection or find a spot among my things to take a good thematic pic with. The magazines/CDs he's with are from my dad's collection.)

I do have space at higher elevations in my room, but it's kinda off putting to have him staring down my room, looking like he's plotting something (my space is too small to ignore it). So I dunno what I'm gonna do with him. I did have plans to make him some... cuter outfits so he wouldn't stick out as much, but that requires sewing, and I'm kinda worn out from this project.

In conclusion, despite my troubles with this project, I'm not entirely displeased with the results. At the very least, it was an experience, and one that I might even be willing to do a third time 👀...?

But for now, I'd like to rest and maybe go back to drawing again. I feel like I haven't drawn anything "real" for a while now. We're inching closer and closer to the next follower milestone (4 digit number BA-BY!), so I'd like to at least get back to being good enough to sketch some stuff for y'all soon~

#gbunny makes #gbunny draws #custom doll #doll custom #doll repaint #kliff #nsr #no straight roads #for the record i do find this project thoroughly embarrassing for me #but i can't justify its existence without sharing it. so here it is. #like. i wish i could have been obsessed with somebody else. #anybody else. #well. someone who's socially acceptable to obsess over i guess #but i'm not. i'm obsessed with him so i'm going to make things of him #and they're gonna make me happy #despite the embarrassment #Youtube

[harunovella]

embers of a fire ; c.k.

synopsis: you loathed him, you despised him... and you couldn't even truly understand as to why. it was superficial, overly judgmental of you to hate choso kamo... however, a class project forces you to spend time with him. little did you know, the man you couldn't swallow, would be the one man you'd never want to leave your side.

cw: fem!reader, snobbish/holier-than-thou!reader (but she gets better okay!), emo skater boi!choso, college au, enemies (?) to lovers, reader's parents are the source of her bitchiness/aka terrible parents, big bro!choso/lil bro!yuji, kissing, slight angst, love confessions, smut (good ol oral w fem receiving, fingering, no condom...), srry if I miss any! MDNI!

wc: 16k+

an: thank you for 100+ followers! I forgot to announce it when I posted my reiner fic a few weeks ago.... but anyway! okay this is super long and I was considering breaking into two parts but yall are real champs and can def read 16k words lmfao (if not, just yknow like it and finish reading it later). i've got the hots for most of the jjk men and I am OBSESSED with emo goth boy!choso so here you go! title inspo comes from this PHENOMENAL song! enjoy xo

How does one make the most popular and loved girl on campus turn her bright-white, toothy smile upside down into a grimace of pure malice? Pair her up with the loner, emo, goth boy of course!

It was your sophomore year of college which meant getting rid of the same ol' prerequisites everyone and their mother must take during their undergrad. You flew by those classes with phenomenal grades, best of the best, one of the top of your class—and that was a ton of students to compare yourself to. After all, you came from a legacy, a bloodline who (all before you) attended the same university. Hell, there was a hall named after your clan. You were that person. Everyone wanted you or to be you. And you held your head high with the upmost confidence knowing this.

Except there was that one guy... the only person who knew how to get on every single one of your nerves, under your smooth and well maintained skin—Choso Kamo. If anyone else were watching from the outside in, they'd say the man did nothing wrong other than exist and breathe the same air as you, but somehow that irked you.

Everything about him irked you.

From the baggy, dark clothes he wore—shirts two sizes too big and jeans so loose with tears you weren't sure if he did them himself or if it was the style—to the dumb tape (tattoo? you weren't sure) across his nose. The endless amounts of piercings on his ears, septum, and (yes, you somehow managed to notice) his tongue. The god awful tattoos that peeked out from the loose sleeves of his tees when he wasn't wearing a jacket... to the chipped black nail polish on his fingernails and the many odd hairdos he did with his long hair.

Yeah, everything about him rubbed you the wrong way. Especially when he felt the need to skateboard everywhere he went on campus and nearly crashing into you multiple times.

It didn't help that he hung out with two other wackos—one being a pot head who had crackhead energy and the other always wearing the creepiest of grins and smirks as if he were plotting murders in his head.

God, Choso gave you the worst vibes. Of course he'd be assigned to work with you on a project for your Intro to Psychology class. It was a whole get to know someone better assignment that felt so kindergarten. Writing up a report relating to the lessons learned while also becoming friends with someone you didn't know? Hell, that was not going to be you.

You squirmed in your seat at the announcement, rubbing your forehead and sighing. Almost begging Professor Yaga to switch you with anyone... absolutely anyone.

"Don't worry so much," Utahime said as she poked your arm gently.

"I don't get why you're so bothered by his existence," Yuki laughed from behind you, tugging at your hair that sat almost perfectly down your back. "He's kinda hot with that emo vibe he gives off."

"Oh, god," Mei Mei rolled her eyes as she sat on the opposite side of you. "You have such poor taste in men. Bet he has no money."

"Mei Mei," Utahime sighed. "I can switch with you, I've got that knucklehead Satoru as my partner," she nudged her head back in the direction of where the man sat—nearly surrounded by girls fawning over him not so discreetly in the middle of a lecture. You looked over and scrunched up your nose. Wasn't like you had anything against him, actually, he was pretty intelligent and was at your level... he just was a bit too chaotic and always had a flock of girls following him around. It was quite annoying.

"It's fine," you huffed, nearly sinking into your seat before you straightened your back. "Yaga wouldn't allow it anyway. He's stubborn. I'll just... have to... get through it."

"Atta girl," Yuki patted your head as she leaned her chin on her other hand. "And while you're at it, give me his number. I'll gladly snatch him out of your hands once it's all over."

"Doubt I'll be getting anything out of him besides what's needed for the project," you shook your head as you shut your eyes, momentarily meditating to embrace what was to come. Opening your eyes and peeking over your shoulder to spot the man you were paired with, perched in the corner of the auditorium with his focus elsewhere, you cringed. He looked unbothered, completely uninterested and deadpan. He was slouched back in his seat, pen bobbing in between his fingers as his other arm draped over the empty seat beside him. It was then you noticed one of the two delinquents he hung out with was missing, leaving him alone with a talkative Mahito that had been bothering some poor kid beside him about god knows what. Just as you were about to look away, Choso's eyes shifted to meet yours, expression still barren, earning an eye roll from you before you turned your focus back ahead.

"Remember, this will count as 50% of your grade as the remaining 50% depends on how well you do on your exams and attendance. Don't miss class like a certain Getō did," Yaga spoke up. "Class dismissed."

"You know what I want to know?" Yuki started as your group of friends began gathering their things. "Why is it that Suguru and Mahito thought it was a good idea to get stitches as tattoos? Maybe that's what Choso is hiding under the nose tape."

"I thought they drew it on themselves?" Utahime furrowed her eyebrows.

"From what I've heard, they both lost a bet to Choso and had to get those god awful tattoos," Mei Mei spoke as she brushed some of her hair over her shoulder.

You, however, were in your own world. Their conversation went in one ear and out the other as you constantly found yourself stealing glimpses of Choso, annoyance clear in your expression. Anyone but him, really... Why did you have to be paired with him? You probably would've taken Suguru instead if he hadn't skipped. He used to be somewhat normal from what you remember. Back when he was best friends with Shoko and Satoru. You weren't sure what happened there but, to be fair, you didn't care much. Satoru was in his own world, enjoying the constant ego boosts and Shoko hung out with the medical students. You supposed they all went their separate ways.

Just as you were deep in thought, not realizing where you were staring or what you were doing, a masculine, monotone voice startled you. "If you're so intrigued, just take a picture of me."

Blinking a few times before gasping, you looked over to see Choso had been a few steps higher than you, leaning in to speak before walking past you with an indifferent expression on his face. As if he didn't just insult you, making you seem like you were interested in him. "As if!" You huffed, earning a few looks from your girlfriends. "It'd break my poor camera."

"Good one!" A sudden laugh made you jump again in your spot as Mahito patted your head before following Choso.

Swatting him away before running your fingers through your hair, you glared at the two who walked across the auditorium, towards the exit. "Jerks..." you mumbled before snatching your bag and lifting up your chin.

"They really get under your skin, huh?" Yuki pointed out.

"They're beneath me, that's all." With a wave of your hand and a flip your hair, you held yourself high and mighty before exiting the class. Yeah, you were prissy and a bit obnoxious but, hey, that's what everyone loved about you. And their opinions mattered the most... right?

Choso never understood your hatred towards him. Actually, he didn't seem to care. Plenty of people hated him for whatever pathetic, judgmental reasons—and you probably the same—but there was something different about you. He couldn't quite put a finger on it, but it definitely felt like you were hiding something from him. From everyone.

In all honesty, you had him intrigued. What was it about you that was sounding sirens in his head? You dressed like you were trying to be Elle Woods, in pinks and pastels. You did your hair so neat and perfect—nothing like his chaotic nest. You always held your head high, wore this sweet perfume that was near nauseating. You drove a car he definitely couldn't afford. He was sure you were a spoiled brat of some rich entrepreneur—but he couldn't say you didn't deserve your class spot. Truly, you were intelligent; bright in all ways possible. That, he'd give you credit for. However, your personality? That way of being, so prim and posh? Something wasn't right. As if you were forced to be this way with all the eyes on you.

And maybe that's why he was so "excited" to be your partner for this assignment. He was going to figure it out, what it was that was hidden behind the makeup and hair pins, amongst those designer outfits and manicured nails. Who you truly were, deep inside.

It also didn't help that one day when he was skateboarding around campus to get from point A to point B, he so happened to pass by your car where you were sort of blasting nu metal from an artist he vaguely recognized. All alone, singing—practically screaming—in a secluded parking lot where you believed no one would see you.

Yeah, you definitely were hiding something from everyone. 

Choso departed from Mahito after telling him he was going to stay behind to plan meet ups with you—which, in turn, got some vulgar remark from Mahito. The man with a twisted grin saying how you really needed a good lay and that he hoped Choso would be that. Choso, who was very used to Mahito's unfiltered mouth, didn't even bat an eyelash, just dismissed his friend and leaned against a wall.

"Mei Mei and I gotta split, we have to meet up with Shoko," Utahime spoke as you and your group piled out of the auditorium.

"And I've gotta go tutor Todo!" Yuki waved as she turned the opposite way, leaving you on your own. You didn't mind, wasn't like you didn't have a friend—or at least an acquaintance—in every corner. Actually, you were more than likely going to call up Kiyotaka to see if he wanted to meet you in the library for your weekly study sessions as you both were taking an economics class.

However, that thought went out the door when your focus landed on your beloved goth. In all his emo glory, leaning against a wall with one door propped up against it, you couldn't help but eye him from head to toe. Now that he was standing, you could truly see how big his shirt was on him and how much he really loved the color black. You were amazed he wasn't wearing black lipstick to top it all off. Maybe that was crossing the line for him. Who knows.

Realizing you were staring for much too long—and probably blocking the doorway—you sighed and approached him. "Let's get this over with."

Lifting his eyes from his phone as he scrolled through his socials, meeting your own—disinterested—pair, Choso stood straight with a huff before speaking, "it won't take us one hour to complete this assignment. We have weeks worth of work to do."

"So?" You then crossed your arms.

"So... miss top of her class, you can't half-ass this work. No matter how much you hate me," he said with tired eyes—a look he always carried. You wondered if he ever slept. He wondered if you still had your little heavy metal sessions.

The two of you stared at one another for longer than you should've. You let out a small scoff before rolling your eyes, "whatever. We can meet up for an hour daily. I think that'll be my limit for how long I can endure your demonic aura."

Eyeing you as you had turned your head to the side stubbornly, a small excuse of a laugh left his lips, "I'm not into satanism. Don't worry, Barbie doll, I'm not going to sacrifice you to some nonexistent deity."

Twitching at the nickname he gave you, you sighed and straightened your posture. He knew how to irk you. "Sure, whatever. Then why do you wear upside down crosses?"

"It's for the aesthetic, obviously," he said as if you should've known that. "Same reason why you love to wear those big pearls on your ears, or that scarf with that plaid pattern. Or even those red bottom heels," Choso listed as you found your cheeks heating up. Was he keeping tabs on you? Was he paying the much attention to what you wore? And why were you blushing?! "You call that fashion, I call this fashion," he said as he flicked the earring that dangled from his right ear.

"Creep," you mumbled before reaching into your bag and pulling out a small journal. Removing the pen from it and writing down something, you tore the piece and folded it neatly before handing it over to him, dropping it into his palm as he extended his hand out. "That's my address. Don't go about stalking me and seeing what I'm wearing. Be there at 8PM, no later. We can do this every Monday through Thursday for one hour. Don't bother me from outside that one hour. Got it?"

Looking at his palm, then down at you, he slid it in his back pocket before answering, "sure."

"Perfect! Now you can leave me be. And stop noting what I wear, loser," you stuck your tongue out before walking away. Yeah, you were mature. It just didn't help that you needed to get out of there, and fast. For some reason, your face felt hot and your heart was racing. You were afraid you were going to start stuttering if you stayed any longer. Why was he so nonchalant? And, damn, why did he smell so good?! You weren't even trying to sniff him, but his cologne knocked right into you. Also, why the hell was he so observant of what you wore? He had no right!

As if.... you weren't the same towards him.

He didn't need to know that.

8PM on the dot. You heard someone knock on your front door, knowing very well it was Choso. You were home alone that evening—as you almost always were as your parents were too busy to focus on their only daughter. You were in the midst of tidying your room—making sure nothing too secretive was lying around—before you made your way downstairs, and to your front door. Sucking in a deep breath and forcing your best scowl, you opened the front door.

In all honesty, the hours that lead up to Choso's arrival were nerve wracking. You weren't sure why. Nothing out of this world, wasn't like he was anyone impressive. Yet you put more effort into your look than you should've for just lounging in your home and working on an assignment. You told yourself it was just how you were. You always looked your best, even at home. Even when you were in those little, pink shorts and an oversized sweater with a cartoon character on it that made you look smaller. It was the first thing Choso noticed when you opened the door—besides the fact that you had subtle makeup and your hair in two little space buns... reminding him too much of his own hairdo.

But, he knew better than to point that out. You'd chew him out.

"Still living with your parents?" He pointed out, though you were sure it wasn't a question and rather a statement.

"So?" You narrowed your eyes. "No point in living in the dorms when I live close to the university. Not everyone lives in a shoe box for an apartment," you crossed your arms as Choso simply blinked.

"And you know where I live because—"

"I— I don't!" You blushed. "I just assumed!"

A subtle grin on his lips as he stood at your door, one hand gripped on the strap of his backpack while the other was deep in the pocket of his grey sweats. So he did own a color outside of black? "And I'm the creepy one."

Snapping your eyes up from the spot they had landed on—definitely not the outline of his dick in his sweats—you hissed, "shut up."

"Can I come in? Or are we going to just stay here and banter?" He asked as you sucked in a deep breath, taking a step to a side and gesturing for him to enter. Without hesitation, he did so. Eyeing his surroundings. The formal living room with modern couches and decor, a dining table and several art pieces hung about. A few framed family photos spotted on the coffee table. It was quite... minimal for a home with a family. Much too clean and pristine. He was starting to understand why you were the way you are.

"Do you want... water or something," you grumbled as you offered, noticing how Choso was curiously studying your home.

"Nah, I've got my own bottle in my bag," he said before spotting your staircase. "Where're we gonna do this?"

Sucking in a deep breath, you pointed upward, "my room." Leading the way towards and up the stairs, you stopped on the second step before turning to look down at him, "don't even think about stealing anything or taking photos. Got it?" You pointed at him as he lifted his hands up in defense before you hummed, turning and treading up the steps.

"I was thinking about stealing one of your panties, but now that you say that—"

"Ugh, gross!" You exclaimed, shaking your head as your steps became stomps. "I wouldn't even doubt it..."

Slightly grinning to himself as he followed you, Choso came to a stop at your doorway as he eyed your bedroom. It was exactly as he expected. Pink... so pink... pink and white with cute things everywhere. Yet, so organized and cleaned up. Like... an unused children's room. This can't possibly be your happy space. So many plushies stuffed on your bed? Sanrio decorations on your desk? A vanity filled with endless makeup products? Well, maybe it was your happy spot. But... it felt like this was some experimental room you were tossed in and put under supervision to see if they could make you the perfect girl.

There had to be something hidden amongst all the bubblegum decor. Something that hinted to the real you.

"Do I sit in all those or in that..." Choso pointed at your bed covered in plush toys or your pink bean bag that sat on a white, fluffy rug. God, how could you even breathe in here?

"You can sit here," You corrected, pulling out your desk chair before you sat in the sea of teddy bears, somehow not disrupting the layout. As if there was a spot specifically for you. "You've got one hour, emo boy."

"Right," Choso sighed as he settled into the white chair.

Lifting your eyes from your laptop as you had flipped it open, you couldn't help but stifle a laugh. He stuck out of your room like a sore thumb. So out of place... Like a black rose amongst a bed of pink. For a moment, you thought it was cute. For a moment. "I'll start with the introductions," you spoke up after nearly clearing your throat from words that weren't uttered but thought out.

Reaching into his bag and pulling out his laptop, Choso looked at you for a moment to see you focused on your screen before his eyes darted around your room, looking for anything off. Your mattress, pillow... maybe behind your dresser or underneath your bean bag. Something hidden. You must've kept a secret collection of records somewhere. Maybe even black band tees. "Sure..."

You started asking the basic introductory questions: full name, where you were born, how old are you, what are you studying... so on and so forth. It was child's play. You wondered how Professor Yaga made this assignment so lengthy when it could've been completed with twenty questions or less. You assumed it was something psychological, suited for the class.

Typing out Choso's answers, he then started asking you the same ones, you answering without missing a beat—or making eye contact. "Lastly, what's your favorite heavy metal band?"

Feeling your lips part, you instantly sealed them as you lifted your focus and shot him a look. "That so is not a question!" You exclaimed, glaring.

Looking at you with a subtle smirk, Choso shrugged, "last one is a freebie for the introduction. You asked me why I am so emo, so I thought it was fair I asked you something I was curious about."

"First of all, you actually are emo. Second of all, I do not listen to heavy metal music. I have no idea where the hell you pulled that out of," you narrowed your eyes, but Choso only leaned back in the desk chair and sighed. "What?"

"Your little head banging sessions in your car beg to differ," Choso said as you blinked, eyes gradually widening as you instantly tossed your laptop onto your stuffed toys before standing to your feet. "The kitten has claws—"

"I don't know what you are talking about but you need to stop stalking me," you pointed your finger at him.

Lifting his hands up in defense, he sighed, "I don't know why you're being so defensive. If it isn't true, if I'm lying, you wouldn't care. But I'm not lying, I know what I saw. You haven't even denied it."

Clenching your jaw as your glared down at him, you pushed your hand against his laptop and shut it as your other hand settled on your hip, "sure, I listen to alternative music that isn't up to my quote unquote standards when no one is around. Sure, I love to scream and bang my head to release my inner frustrations through heavy metal. However, do you think anyone would believe you if you started spreading word? No, they wouldn't, because that's unlike me. I wouldn't do any of that," you said with your eyes still squinted. "Nice try, Choso."

"I have no intentions on spreading rumors—sorry, facts—about you. Actually, with me being the only one to know this, it means I was right about you," he said, looking up at you with that bored expression he so gracefully wore.

Arching an eyebrow, you leaned towards him, "right about what?"

A small smile appeared on his lips as he sat up, looking you in the eyes, "that you aren't who you seem. That all of this," he gestured to your room, "is nothing but a cloaking device forced upon you to hide who you really are. You're just a poor princess trapped in her tower of pink lies. Tell me I'm wrong."

Eyeing him as you kept your focus locked on his, taking in deep breaths, you nearly bit your tongue off. "You are so wrong."

Choso was not wrong. Nowhere near wrong. Actually, he was burning hot with his assumptions and theories and intuition. You hated that. Yet, you couldn't avoid him. He was your partner and you weren't going to fail an introductory class. Damn that man.

You continued your daily meet ups at your place—sometimes at the library if you knew your parents would be home. Those happened seldom, and Choso didn't even have to ask to know why there was a change in environment. He was well aware your parents would despise him if they saw him. Now a week into your project, Choso was slowly learning more about you, more than what you put out. He was well aware that you had both beauty and brains, he wasn't going to lie, he had eyes. However, he started noticing the little cracks. The holes in you that were created by your own pillars—your parents. They wanted you you be the perfect little girl for them. Since you were the only child, they were so fixated on you and your achievements.

Probably why you had all those trophies from various competitions on a shelf in your home.

You didn't enjoy it, you didn't have to tell him for him to know. He saw it in your eyes whenever you lied and said you had fun competing as a child. (In reality, he was sure you wanted an actual fun childhood.)

It was obvious why you were the way you were. They were carving you out, shaping you the way they wanted. Not how you did.

And Choso was sure, if he pushed hard enough, he'd get you to tip over and break into a million pieces. Pull yourself back together, and bring out a better you. The real you.

Of course, that is once he gets on your good side.

"So how are things with you two?" Yuki asked as the two of you walked along the campus, leaving one of your shared classes. "I mean, you've hardly complained about him since we started working on the project."

Sighing as you held your journal against your chest, you looked off to the side. "He's— He's... there..."

"There?" She asked with a small snicker. "What the hell does that mean? Hey! You still haven't given me his number!"

"I'll give it to you later," you mumbled, looking up at the sky now, eyeing the scattered clouds and the distant birds flying below them.

"Later? Oh! So you did manage to get it, huh?" Yuki grinned, nudging you with her elbow.

"Yeah, a few meet ups in, solely to let him know where to meet up. Can't have my parents seeing him," you said, thinking about the reaction your parents would have if they saw Choso in your room. Oh, how they'd panic. Your father would lose his mind and your mother would—without a doubt—pass out. The thought made you chuckle.

"What's so funny?" The blonde beside you asked, eyeing you with an arched eyebrow.

"Nothing..." you hummed.

"Hmm..." studying you, Yuki then crossed her arms. "So, you've got a crush on him—"

Coming to a complete stop, you turned and eyed her, "excuse me? Repeat yourself? Deranged witch!"

"There she is!" Yuki pointed with a laugh. "For a second I thought I lost you there! You weren't being so bitchy—"

"Shut up," you rolled your eyes, turning back in your spot, continuing to walk. "I do not have a crush on him, where the hell did you get that from?"

"You haven't complained about him once and, well, you are his partner still... you haven't managed to convince Yaga to switch you. And don't give me the whole he won't bullshit, we all know everyone in the faculty and staff adore you. So, what's up? What's got you so... chill? You aren't even fuming like you normally would. C'mon, talk to me. You know I'm the best person to confess to," Yuki grinned with a flip of her hair.

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you shook your head, "there's nothing. We just meet up for an hour, do our work, then go our separate ways."

"So the assignment isn't bringing you two close? I know for a fact it's got 'hime and 'toru fu—"

Lifting a finger, you shook your head, "don't you finish that sentence. Please." Watching her lift her hands up in defense, you shook your head. "He's a hard man to open up. His responses are minimal and almost cryptic. He doesn't speak much when it comes to himself, but he seems very interested in me. Like he wants to unravel me. Creepy in my opinion but... whatever. If it's getting me an A, I'll do whatever."

Watching you wave your hand dismissively, Yuki tilted her head with a small grin, "unravel you, huh? Like... get in your panties—"

A gasp left you as your eyes widened. "Yuki, shut up!" You snapped. "No, it's like— he just wants to get to the deepest bits about me! Not that!"

"Deepest bits, like, having his thick, long, di—"

"I'm walking away now!" You said as you picked up your pace, only to hear her laughing. Yuki knew how to get under your skin, but not in a spiteful way. She just liked to bug you, your reactions were golden, so she could only imagine how you were when you were with Choso.

In all honesty, as much as she loved pestering you for his number, she couldn't help but think... you two would actually be quite the power couple. There was something about opposites attracting that made her swoon, especially when it was her little, preppy, best friend and a very handsome, depressed looking, goth boy. The image of you two being together made her smirk. She needed to do something about it.

Walking towards your car as you let out a huff of annoyance, you pulled your keys out from your bag and eyed your surroundings for a moment. Secluded. Just like how you liked it. This was why you always parked here, towards the back of the campus near the history wing. Not many people ventured this way, it was the perfect hideaway.

Unlocking your car and slipping inside, you set the keys in the ignition and plugged your phone in. Taking in a deep breath as you settled in your seat after tapping your favorite playlist, you started bobbing your head to the music. Then, before you knew it—as the rhythm was flowing through you—you started singing (screaming?) along. You were so into it that you nearly forgot your surroundings. That is until your eyes landed on your favorite loner.

There, standing across the way on the sidewalk with one hand clutched onto his skateboard and the other holding his cigarette in between his index and thumb, was Choso. Watching you with a smirk on his lips. When did he get there? How did you not notice? You weren't even a song into the playlist!

With a huff, you lowered the volume and shoved your door open, not bothering to shut it as you stomped over towards the stoic man. He simply stood there, taking a drag and puffing air as you came up, practically barring your fangs. It was cute to him, you looked like an angry kitten. "You!" You pointed as Choso simply took another drag.

"Yeah," he breathed, watching as you stopped before him, just before the curb as he stood towering before you with the additional inches from the sidewalk.

"Where— Where the hell did you come from?!" You shrieked.

"My mother's—"

"No! I didn't see anyone!" You whined as Choso sighed, taking one last inhale from his cigarette before putting it out.

"What? Bummed someone knows you have little therapeutic head banging sessions?" He slightly tilted his head. It was then you noticed his hair was down, in all it's disarray glory, sat beneath a dark grey bucket hat. He wore a baggy tee again, a plain black one and matching sweats. His feet covered in beat up converse this time around. You were so deep in your studying—gawking—that Choso cleared his throat.

Snapping out of it, you looked up at him again and frowned, arms folded as you stomped a foot pathetically, "what is it that you want from me?!"

"Nothing, really," he shrugged. "Just that you quit being someone you're not. Y'know, for someone who judges others for being their true selves."

Fighting the urge to gasp, you bit your tongue, instead, grabbing his hand and yanking him. You pulled him along to your car, opening the passenger door and nearly shoving him inside. Shutting the door behind you, you then rounded the car and took the drivers seat. With the sound of the car locking, you turned up the volume again and sat there with your arms crossed. Your focus was straight ahead as Choso took a minute to take in his surroundings. Your car—a cute, white, Mini Cooper—smelled like spring days. Nothing out of place, cleaned as if you've never used the car before. You had a little dancing flower on your dashboard and a pink ribbon wrapped around your mirror into a bow. Yet, the music emitting from within did not match the interior.

Eyeing the screen before him, he then leaned back into the seat, recognizing the artist as one he listened to religiously. "So, are you kidnapping me?" He asked, turning his attention ahead, eyes aimlessly gazing around his surroundings.

"No," was all you said before raising the volume up. "I know you won't say anything, no one would believe you anyway." Feeling his eyes on you, you bit your inner cheek before mumbling, "and it's nice... having someone to enjoy this with..."

Seeing the way you stubbornly kept your focus anywhere but on him, Choso couldn't help but tease you, "I think you're finally getting soft on me—"

"Don't get used to it!" You snapped, now looking and pointing at him.

Lifting his hands up in defense, Choso looked ahead once again with a small sigh, "is it okay if you go over my place tonight?"

Blinking, your eyebrows narrowed, "why?"

"It's personal," was all he said, voice lower than before. You couldn't help but frown. Personal? "I can't leave home tonight."

"Oh... Kay..." You trailed, studying him and seeing how his demeanor changed, no longer in a teasing mood. "Fine. Since you were such nice company, I'll allow it."

Rolling his eyes, Choso couldn't help but feel a twitch of a smile grow on his lips, "whatever. I'll text you my address."

"Apartment 310..." you sighed, eyeing the grey door before you decorated in nothing but a peephole and... an odd decoration hanging from the door knob. Something resembling that of a child's creation in arts and craft class. You'd have to ask Choso about that—

The sound of heavy, rapid footsteps and excited yelling was heard from the other side of the door, causing you to lean in with furrowed brows. Did he have company? Or was that a really loud TV? Knocking on the door as you had leaned back and stood straight, you heard the heavy footsteps once again—except this time approaching. Seeing the door swing open, your eyes widened.

"What—" seeing no one before you, no sign of Choso, you tilted your head. "Who—" lowering your focus, a pair of big, bright eyes gazed up at you. A little boy, easily 4 or 5, stood before you with a look of awe. His pink hair was messy—ruffled in different directions, as he wore a hoodie with tiger ears and matching shorts plus white socks covering his tiny feet. "Oh... this must be the wrong place... I'm sorry—"

"Yuji! What did I tell you about opening the door?!" Hearing a familiar voice call out—much more intense than you had ever heard of before, you turned your head to see Choso approaching. However, the sounds of whimpering caught your attention as the little boy—which you now learned was named Yuji—was tearing up. "Oh no... I'm sorry, I didn't—" kneeling before the little boy and lifting him in his arms, Choso rubbed his tiny back. "I didn't mean to scare you. But, please, listen to me, okay?"

"O— kay..." the little boy sniffled.

Watching this all unfold, eyes wide in shock, you shook your head and swallowed. What... just happened? Who was this little boy? And why did the sight before you—Choso being so gentle—make your insides twist? "Umm..."

"Come in," Choso nudged his head for you to follow. You, closing the door behind you, did so. He lead you to the living room (which was really just a couple of steps ahead of you) as he sat on the couch, settling the little boy down and wiping his tears as you slowly sat besides the older man. "You can play for thirty more minutes but you must clean and put away all your toys and get ready for bed after, okay?"

"Mhm!" Yuji nodded his head in excitement, only to turn his head to look at you, gasping as he nearly had forgotten you were there. "Choco, is this your girlfriend?" The little boy asked, suddenly all giddy, causing your heart to skip a beat as your eyes widened. Girlfriend?!

"No, she's just a classmate," Choso clarified as you frowned, slightly offended for whatever insane reason. As if you should be insulted by that! Why did he answer so casually? How was he always so calm?! "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

"Okay!" The little boy exclaimed, taking quick steps to stand before you, "hi! My name is Yuji Itadori!"

Blinking a few times, looking down at his tiny hand as it was extended towards you, you took it in your own and gently shook it. "Hi, Yuji... I'm—"

"I know who you are!" He gasped, saying your name as he pointed at you while jumping. "Yeah! That's you! Choco talks—"

"Okay, Jiji, that's enough, go play with your toys," Choso shooed him as Yuji frowned, then gave the older man a small glare before stomping away, mumbling to himself.

Letting out a small breath, you looked at Choso, "you're a young father... he must look a lot like his mom."

"I'm not his dad," Choso clarified, shaking his head as he was covering his mouth, still processing what Yuji was about to say. With a deep breath, he then leaned back against the couch, "his my little brother. Half brother, actually, but... yeah. I'm his legal guardian."

Eyeing Choso as he had yet to look at you, almost as if he were deep in thought, you simply nodded. This must've been what was personal. His little brother, Yuji. "Oh... I see." Not wanting to press, you opened your bag and pulled out your laptop to get ready for your hour session. Just before you did, you gave him one look, realizing he was still dressed similarly to earlier—hair down, a t-shirt and sweats, but now no sneakers... only socks. Turning back to your laptop, Choso did the same as he lifted his from the coffee table before him, getting straight to work.

Thirty minutes had passed and Choso excused himself for a moment, mentioning how he had to make sure Yuji put himself to bed. As he did that, you continued your work, even if your mind was wandering off to uncharted waters. Thoughts of Choso... Choso being a fatherly figure. Again, it was stirring something unwanted within you. You had to force yourself to think about something else.

That is, of course, until a shadow casted upon you. You looked up, behind you to see Choso looking down at you. A small yelp left you as you gulped, quickly turning your attention away as you noticed Yuji standing beside him—hand in hand with Choso. "Oh?" You blinked as the little boy smiled. You realized he was now dressed in his pajama—a cute, dark blue set, with little animals scattered around it.

"I wanted to say good night! So... good night!" He waved with his free hand.

"Good night, Yuji. It was nice meeting you," you smiled back at him before Choso guided him back to his room. The grin on your lips wouldn't fade away, you had to admit, Yuji was adorable.

The cutest kid you've ever met. Hearing distant mumbling, your curiosity got the best of you as you settled your laptop onto the coffee table and stood up. Quietly walking to the small hallway where the two bedrooms and bathroom sat, you carefully peeked over. Choso was kneeling before Yuji's bed, reading a bedtime story. You could see the little boy was fighting sleep as his eyes fluttered closed. Choso noticed this, too. Standing up and making sure all of the plush toys were surrounding him—the way his little brother liked it—Choso leaned in and kissed his forehead good night before gently caressing his hair.

Your heart was racing. You hadn't noticed it. Forcing yourself to look away and walk back to your spot on the couch, you found yourself nibbling on your bottom lip. Trying to focus on your work, you couldn't seem to get passed the single word you typed out. The images of Choso caressing Yuji's back, wiping his tears, holding his hand... and tucking him in... it made you feel so uneasy. It made your heart race. It made your face heat up.

"Okay, he's asleep," Choso said, snapping out of your thoughts as you clinched. He noticed but stayed silent.

"I can keep meeting you here if you need me to," you said, eyes practically glued to your screen, refusing to look up at him. You knew if you looked him in the eye you'd do something foolish. Probably even blush.

"I normally have a babysitter if he doesn't have his evening karate class... but money has been getting tight," he confessed, causing you to look up at him as he reached for his laptop and sat back down. You couldn't help but feel sympathetic. As much as you weren't fond of Choso—for petty reasons—you could only imagine how much he was struggling to raise a little boy on his own.

"It's okay, you don't need to explain," you said, "I like Yuji. He seems like a really sweet boy."

Looking at you, Choso wore a subtle smirk, "he's my bloodline."

"Whatever," you playfully rolled your eyes. "He's innocent and I like his hair."

"You don't like mine?" Choso slightly tilted his head, letting the strands fall to a side. You couldn't help but smile, shaking your head. "No? Wow. Is it because it's not pink?"

Letting out a small laugh, you reached over to touch his hair without thinking. You wrapped some around your finger, twirling it before letting it fall loose, "it's not so bad..."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Eyeing one another as a comfortable silence fell between the two of you, you felt your heart begin to race the more you looked at him. Shyly looking away, you cleared your throat. "Let's finish today's work."

Studying you and the subtle blush that tinted your cheeks, Choso nodded. "Yeah."

It was becoming more and more apparent to Choso how much you were softening up to him. Maybe it was because you saw a different side of him after your first visit to his place... or maybe you just wanted to be seen as a saint in little Yuji's eyes. Whatever it may be, you weren't so easily agitated anymore. It caught him off guard when you started giving him small smiles—in which his would subtly reciprocate. He had to test his waters, of course. Maybe you were smiling to someone behind him? But no, it was towards him.

Then, you started inviting him to your little in-car-concerts. He would recommend you music that you'd soon find yourself playing on repeat while alone or in the comfort of your earphones. Other times, you'd recommend him songs in which he'd learn the lyrics to almost the very next day—Choso wouldn't admit it to you, but he kind of wanted you to be impressed. And, you were.

Choso also noticed just how attached his little brother grew to you. Every visit you made for your hourly sessions, you found yourself coming earlier and earlier to spend time with the little boy. He had always asked you to play with him or to watch his favorite movie, but you had told him you couldn't while working on your project, so, of course—in his infinite wisdom—little Yuji suggested you come earlier. And you did.

There was even a routine you started with the duo: helping out Yuji to sleep, even if Choso insisted You didn't have to (you had to, solely because Yuji begged you to... and you did want to, too).

You were... changing, to say the least; and Choso wouldn't complain nor want to stop it.

However, your parents began to notice.

It wasn't as subtle as you thought. You were well aware of the change in demeanor you had. You were nicer to those you once were quite bitchy to. You weren't so stuck up nor snobbish—as Yuki liked to point out—and you were actually associating yourself with others you once saw beneath you.

This... wasn't a good look, at least, not in your parents eyes.

"Why are you always sneaking away?" Your mother had asked. An odd question coming from her when she nor your father were never around. "Are you secretly dating someone?!"

Growing wide eyed, you shook your head. "No? I have an assignment I've been working on with a partner. We meet up together."

"Uh huh," your mother crossed her arms. "Don't think we don't notice these changes," she gestured at your figure. "Your attitude is becoming much too laid back and care free. You aren't on time like you used to be and you are becoming careless with your fashion! Are you on drugs?!"

"Mom! Of course not?!" You shrieked, narrowing your eyebrows at her accusation. "I'm not changing, I'm still me!"

"Yeah? Is that so?" Walking around the kitchen counter and pulling out something, your eyes widened at the sight of your (what once was hidden) vinyl records. "Satanic music!" She waved them as she approached you again, then handing them to your father who stood beside her. "I will not tolerate this!"

Watching your father snap the records, a sharp gasp left your lips as your eyes instantly welled up in tears. "That— That isn't satanic music! That's just music! It was a gift! How could you?!" You cried out as your body trembled at the broken pieces on the ground. A gift Choso had given you during one of your sessions after remembering you had a record player.

"You think we don't know what the hell this is?!" Your father finally spoke, shaking the two pieces in his hands. "You, sneaking around behind our backs?! You probably have been smoking pot in your room—"

"I'm not! It's just music, for heaven's sake—"

"Don't you raise your voice!" Your father snapped as you hiccuped.

"You— You two are being ridiculous! Over music?! You broke a gift someone important gave to me!" You exclaimed, chest heaving as the anger and rage boiled up within you. You were blinded that you hadn't realize the confession you made, too focused on the fact that they had destroyed the practically brand new vinyl you were afraid to touch because you wanted to preserve them. Yet, that went out the window. "All because you're too scared your perfect daughter isn't all about unicorns and rainbows anymore because she's a damn adult! I'm sick and tired of being someone you want me to be that I'm not!"

Hearing them scoff your name, you shook your head and turned to grab your keys, ignoring their yells as you stormed off. You didn't look back, slamming the main door of your home behind you before rushing into your car and speeding off. Your vision was blurred from the endless tears as you continuously wiped them away. You didn't seem to care about speed limits or being pulled over, you just wanted to get away as far as possible.

And as far as possible was at Choso's.

You found yourself crying into his chest the moment he had opened the door. He lead you to his couch—that you grew familiar with—and settled you there before coming back with tissues and water. He wiped your tears as you explained what happened, whimpering along the way as Choso frowned for you. The more he learned about you, the more he knew you were just a bystander of your parents ruthless grip. He was sure the person you had been becoming around him was the woman inside begging for freedom... and to see you cry like this? Sobbing over the gifts he gave you and snap at your parents? His heart was aching. 

At some point, a worried Yuji came waddling in with a plush toy—one you learned to be his favorite—as he handed it to you for comfort. Claiming it made him feel better when he was sad. You thanked the little boy as you caressed his cheek before hugging his tiny body. He couldn't help but stay lingering, sitting beside you in hopes you'd feel better.

"You're welcome to come over whenever you want," Choso offered. "Even if I'm not here, I have a spare key hidden under my front mat. Not wise, I know, but things happen."

Smiling at him as you sipped at the water Choso had handed you, you shook your head, "I couldn't... I don't want to intrude."

"Believe me, you're not," he said, looking you in the eyes with a worried expression. "I rather you feel safe and wanted here than anxious and afraid in what's supposed to be your own home."

Looking down for a moment at the stuffed Spider-Man in your hold, you then looked over at Choso, "thank you."

"You can sleep over!" Yuji exclaimed as he bounced in his spot. "We can watch a movie and—and eat popcorn!"

Looking over at the eager, little boy, you let out a soft chuckle, "okay, Jiji." Seeing him clap in excitement, he pushed himself off the couch and rushed away to his room.

"I'll get you something to sleep in, and you can stay in my bed," Choso stood as you turned your attention to him, watching him walk away. Before you could protest, he waved his hand, "don't worry about it. I've fallen asleep plenty on the couch with Yuji."

Choso's clothes were even baggier on you. The shirt was a dress and the sweats he offered hung so loosely you had to tie them up with a spare hair tie. However, you didn't seem to mind. They were comfortable and they... smelled like him. You hated to admit it, but the times you've got whiffs of him, you indulged. He smelled so good, like fresh laundry. There was a hint of spice, maybe the subtle cologne he used or the possibility that he liked his home smelling like the fall. Whatever it was, it filled your senses as you lied on his bed and it... made you feel safe.

After watching a movie with Yuji—which he chose to be Big Hero 6–you retired for the night. Choso gave you brand new toiletries to use as needed as well as clothes, telling you to feel free and use whatever you needed. It made you feel... wanted. You hadn't felt like this in so long. Sure, your friends were wonderful people, but even then you hadn't felt like this. You couldn't quite describe it, really. Besides the feeling of being noticed and needed, even if it was subtle, there was that thing bubbling within you that only Choso ignited.

Turning on your side and seeing the analog alarm clock on his bedside table, you sighed. It was half past midnight and, for some reason, you couldn't sleep. Maybe it was being in someone else's bed. Maybe it was your parent's words. Whatever it was, it had you getting up and wrapping a throw over your body as you aimed for the living room.

Gently nudging Choso as he seemed sound asleep, resting on his back as he took the entire length (and more) of the couch, you frowned. "Choso..." You whispered.

Mumbling and groaning, the sound made you blush as he peeked an eye, "what is it?"

"Sorry... I can't sleep..." you confessed. "Umm... can you... can you come back to bed with me? Maybe having someone there will make me feel at ease..."

Rubbing his eyes as he sat up, Choso grabbed the pillow he slept with and tossed the blanket over the cushions before following you to his room without a word. Maybe it was because he was half asleep, but he so easily slipped into his bed, lifted the sheets for you to join him, and casually spooned you from behind. You were flustered at first—of course! But then you eased into his warmth with a pleasant sigh as you closed your eyes.

Only to open them at the sound of faint whimpering.

Sitting up, you looked around the room, only to see Yuji standing at the foot of the bed—one arm wrapped around his Spider-Man plush as his other had his tiny hand balled into a fist, rubbing his eye. "Yuji?" You quietly called to him. "What's the matter?"

"Nightmare..." he pouts. "Choco let's me sleep with him when I have them..."

"Oh," looking over at Choso and seeing he was dead asleep, you looked back at Yuji. A soft smile graced your lips before you waved a hand for him to join you. "C'mon, the more, the merrier."

Crawling up to you as you helped settle him in between you and Choso, you pulled the quilt over the two of you before petting his hair, telling him to sleep well. That he was safe.

Just like you.

Morning had come and you woke up to both Yuji and Choso gone from the bed. You went to do your (simplified) morning routine as you washed your face and brushed your teeth. Once exiting the room, you were greeted with breakfast—Yuji happily nomming away as Choso looked as if he were about to leave somewhere.

"Morning," you greeted as Yuji patted the seat beside him—in which a full plate of food sat. "Where you headed off to?" Eyeing Choso and seeing he was in a pair of black jeans and a band tee—with his beloved Doc Marten's and hair in its spiked buns—you tilted your head.

"I've got work," he said. You recalled him mentioning he worked at a record shop (see broken vinyls that were once your prized possession from him). "I have to take Yuji to a family friend to babysit—"

"Oh, let me," you offered. "It's the least I could do. Let it be my thank you," you nodded. "I'd have to get some stuff from my place but I can bring him with me. I'm sure Yuji wouldn't mind."

Nodding his head eagerly, Choso looked at his little brother, then you, "alright, I guess that's okay. I'll have to let Nanami know."

"Nanamin will get why!" Yuji waved his tiny hand. "Choco's pretty friend will babysit! She's now Yuji's best friend!"

"What about Megumi and Nobara?" Choso asked as he leaned over Yuji to steal some of his bacon, earning a swat from the little boy.

"They— They are!" He exclaimed. "But now I have an older best friend!"

Smiling at them, you gave Yuji's cheek a gentle pinch, "I'd happily be your best friend."

"Yay!" He clapped before sticking his tongue out at Choso.

"Okay, okay," Choso waved a hand. "I'll go ahead and put his car seat in your car so you have it ready."

"Okay, thanks," you said as you began to eat. You couldn't help but feel excited to spend the day with Yuji... as odd as that sounded. He was an entertaining little boy and he really seemed to love you like his own blood.

"Okay, Yuji," You said as the little boy gawked at the size of your home, calling it a castle. You showed him around the house, even your backyard, before you made your way up to your room. "I'm going to shower and then we can head back to your home, okay?"

"Okay!" Yuji's muffled voice called out as he had now found himself stuffed in the horde of plush toys on your bed. He couldn't help but toss himself in it the moment he saw them all. You didn't mind, whatever made the boy happy.

"Stay there, alright?" You pointed as he rolled over and nodded, only to spot a pink dog. "Yeah, has your color, huh?"

"Same hair!" He pointed at his head, earning a sweet chuckle from you.

"I'll be quick," at that, you closed the door and took a quick shower. You folded up the clothes Choso leant you and reminded yourself to wash them at his place so your parents weren't suspicious if you left them at home.

Changing into a pair of grey leggings and an oversized, white hoodie that had TOKYO written across the chest in varsity letters, you slipped on socks and exited the bathroom. Just as you reached for a pair of sneakers, you noticed Yuji was knocked out on the plushes. Smiling, you slipped the shoes on, grabbed your tote bag that you filled with your things—plus Choso's clothes—then reached for Yuji and held him against you as he rested against your shoulder.

Careful enough to leave your home and shut the door quietly, you put him back into his car seat and buckled him in before you went for the drivers seat and made your way back to Choso's.

That afternoon was quite busy. You finished up your assignments that were due the following week, did some cooking for lunch that you enjoyed with Yuji, played with him and watched movies, then cooked again for dinner. For the most part, Choso's fridge was filled with a lot of children's food. The occasional fruit and vegetable, too. But a lot of kiddie portions. He truly cared for his little brother, it warmed your heart how attentive he was. How responsible and how much of an effort he put into Yuji's life.

After dinner, you took Yuji for a small walk to get some fresh air and enjoy the sunset. You sat at a park bench for a bit and talked about his favorite TV shows and video games before you walked hand in hand back to his home.

Watching some episodes of a TV show you loved as a kid—one Yuji never knew of—the two of you dozed off on the couch. This was what Choso came home to.

His heart raced at the sight, you with Yuji curled up against you as you shared a blanket. A small smile grew on his lips as he took his shoes off and quietly walked over. Carefully lifting up Yuji, ready to put him to bed—as it seems you had already taken care of bathing, brushing his teeth, and changing him into his pajamas—you squirmed awake. "Good evening, princess."

Sighing, you stretched before sitting up. "Hi."

"You can stay again, if you'd like," Choso offered but you shook your head with a gentle smile.

"I should go home... even though my parents don't seem to care as I haven't received a single phone call or text," you sighed, standing up to gather your things before walking to his front door.

Following you, Choso opened the door for you with his free hand as his other kept Yuji against his shoulder. "Like I said before, you have a place to stay here."

Looking up at him as you felt your heart flutter, you smiled again. A silence washed upon you two as you quietly gazed at one another. Tiptoeing, you gave his cheek a sweet, lingering kiss, before settling back, "thank you."

Eyeing you as his focus flickered between your eyes and your lips, Choso felt himself leaning forward, just about ready—

Feeling Yuji squirm, Choso straightened his posture as you blushed, waving goodbye before exiting his apartment. "Yeah... goodnight, princess..."

"...and then... I kissed his cheek. After that, I could've sworn we would've, you know..." you waved your hand, "kissed..."

"Kissed?!" Yuki exclaimed as you shyly nodded, blushing. You had told her everything from your parents wrongfully snapping at you, to you staying with Choso... up until you left the following day. Which had been yesterday. "Why didn't you?!" She gasped as she leaned towards you.

The two of you sat on a bench out in the main, open courtyard, usually doing this after your shared class before moving onto your next one. "I— I don't know... but, either way, I shouldn't..." you sighed, fiddling with the hem of your dress.

"Why not?" Yuki furrowed her eyebrows.

"Because... it'll never work out. We can't be together..." you trailed before sitting up with wide eyes. "Either way, it's not like I have feelings!"

Narrowing her eyes as she stared at you, Yuki shook her head, "I think you're lying. You wouldn't be this way if you didn't feel anything for him. You've changed, in a good way. You're telling me you stayed in his home, in the same bed... and feel nothing? The fact that you ran to him before thinking of anyone else, like... me?! And then you two almost kiss?! Come on!" She threw her hands up before slumping in her seat. "You've gotta follow your heart, and it's clear what she wants."

Turning your focus away from her, your heart skipped a beat. In the distance, you spotted the man of the hour walking alongside Mahito and Suguru. Swallowing the sudden lump in your throat as he noticed you, you shyly waved with a faint smile as he reciprocated the action.

Grinning at the sight, Yuki nudged your knee with hers, "can't knock it till you try it."

After the incident with your parents, you found yourself showing up at Choso's much earlier than normal. He didn't question, knowing very well you were avoiding your parents, simply welcoming you in (more like Yuji shoving his older brother to a side to hug your legs and shriek your name). You truly have grown to love Yuji more and more after each passing interaction.

You and Choso finished your work earlier than usual, deciding to sit together and watch some TV with Yuji sat in between. Usually, he was playing with his toys or Switch, but he always made time to be with you. Even if he was in the middle of using his brother's phone to FaceTime his two best friends. As you were in the midst of watching comedy reruns, Yuji was in the middle of squealing and laughing, talking loudly as one of his best friends—Nobara—basically met his level of excitement. You had actually met his two best friends a few times after Yuji had them over. You learned that Nobara was like his long lost twin while Megumi was the level headed one of the three. Usually quiet, but every now and then showed his own wave of emotions that almost matched the other two.

"Say hi!" Yuji said as he lifted the phone to your face.

"H— Hi, you two," you waved as you gently pushed the phone back so you could see them properly.

"Hi!" Nobara waved happily, sitting up in her seat and giving you a toothy grin.

"Hello," Megumi shyly waved as you chuckled. Yuji claimed Megumi had a crush on you, but you liked to think he was just timid. (Though, you weren't sure how, when his parents—who you had met that same day you had met him—were the complete opposite of him).

Suddenly with his eyes glued on the TV and practically dismissing his best friends, Yuji pointed, "a festival!" He said, watching the ad that appeared on the screen. "Choco, can we go?" He asked, wide eyes looking up at his big brother while kicking his legs in excitement. "All three of us?!

"Sure, if she wants to," Choso said as he ruffled Yuji's hair before the little boy looked up at you, awaiting your response.

"Oh, of course!" You nodded before bringing the phone back to the little boy's attention. "We can go Friday night." Already distracted by his best friends, you let out a small laugh before looking at Choso who shrugged.

The upcoming days went by like a breeze. To your luck, your parents were away on a business trip (without telling you until your mother's assistant left you a text). You rolled your eyes and didn't seem to care, you were used to being on your own rather than have a set of parents around to raise you. It was something that haunted you during your late night thoughts. However, unlike before, you had two people that made your days seem a lot better. Two people you felt as if you could breathe around and not have to worry about proper etiquette and perfect manners.

Friday had finally arrived and your classes came and went. You had met Choso at his place and carpooled with him after letting Yuki know where you'd be. The girls had made last minute plans to go to the movies but, like the great person she was, Yuki offered to make an excuse for you. No one but her knew how close you had grown to Choso. It wasn't like you were... intentionally hiding it, it was known he was your partner. However, you didn't think it needed to be known. It wasn't like you were a couple.

Now enjoying your time at the festival, playing games together (in which Choso had to help Yuji), eating great food and riding some rides, you had won Yuji a tiger plushy that was the size of him. He was a happy boy, but the smile on his face was wider than you had ever seen. He thanked you profusely as he hugged it tight and decided to name it after you (you didn't mind, it was a cute gesture).

Now seated on the ferris wheel as you eyed the environment around you, Yuji sat in between you and Choso as he watched the fireworks with stars in his eyes. You couldn't help but look at Choso with a gentle smile as he looked at you. Soft gazes being exchanged as you felt your heart race, blushing before the two of you looked away. You hated how fast your heart would beat within your chest whenever the two of you made eye contact. It made your stomach turn each time... Maybe Yuki was on to something when she said listen to your heart. As obvious of advise as it was.

"I had a great night," you said as you were now back at Choso's place, standing before your car as he held a sleeping Yuji in one arm and his giant stuffed tiger in the other. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Don't thank me, thank Yuji," he nudged his head towards the sleeping little boy, causing you to chuckle. "I'm glad you came. I would say it must be lonely going back home, but you must be used to it."

"Yeah, I am," you sighed. "But at least I had fun and I can think about that if I get in my head," you tapped your temple, earning a small smile from Choso. "I hope to do something like that again."

"Yeah, me too..." he nodded, eyeing you.

A silence weaved before the two of you as your eyes gazed into one another's. Taking in deep breaths as you could hear the blood pumping within your ears, you tugged Choso down by the collar of his shirt as your lips pressed against his own. Your other hand slid into his hair, through the loose bun he held it in as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss. You didn't think much into it, actually, you felt you were in a fever dream as your tongue slid against his bottom lip before his tongue met your own.

As if you realized what you had just done, you pulled away and took a small step back, looking down at Yuji's resting body before wiping your lips with the back of your hand. "Sorry— I shouldn't have done that. I need to go." Without hesitating, you turned and rushed to the driver seat of your car, leaving Choso with a heart thudding in his chest and confusion floating around his head.

Then Monday came around. You had the intention to act like nothing happened when you met up at his place, casually conversing with Yuji and enjoying your time before you got to work. However, Choso was on a different boat. You were breaking out of that disguise and showing your real self, and having you kiss him said a lot. Why the hell would he act like it didn't happen when you clearly wanted it?

"Stop looking at me like that," you said as you typed away.

"How do you expect me to?" Choso asked.

"By looking away?" You shrugged but Choso rolled his eyes, closing your laptop as you gasped. "Hey—"

"I don't know who you've been with before, how your past relationships or whatever were like, but I don't do hookups or whatever the hell the kiss on Friday initiated. You tried acting like nothing happened these past three days, even though you were clearly avoiding me and my messages. Yuji wanted to take you to the aquarium yesterday and you simply left me on read only to answer hours later—"

"Oh, god, it was just a dumb kiss!" You rolled your eyes.

"So dumb that there was tongue?" Choso lifted an eyebrow.

"I got carried away, alright? It meant nothing," you clarified, but the sudden tremble in your tone was a dead giveaway.

"So if I kissed you right now, it wouldn't do anything? You'd feel nothing?" He asked as you nodded.

"Do your worst, I don't see you in any other light. You should be happy I've started considering you as a good fri—" before you could complete your sentence, Choso's hand was on the back of your neck as his lips crashed onto your own. His tongue was quick to slip past your teeth as it met yours in a frenzy. You, at first, tried pushing him away. However, the grip you had on his sweater only pulled him closer as your laptop nearly fell onto the floor if Choso hadn't moved it in time.

Desperately kissing one another as your noses bumped and saliva smeared, you breathed against one another. As both of you clung onto each other, the sound of Yuji's voice calling out for his big brother caused you to push him off of you as you wiped your lips. "I should go," you panted, gathering your things as Choso watched you.

"Wait—"

"It's getting late, my parents should be back," you said as you aimed for his front door, not bothering to look back.

"Fuck..." he breathed as he sunk into his seat, rubbing his face before Yuji called his name again.

A week passed since the second kiss. It was almost as if there was an unspoken rule not to kiss nor touch as you spent your meet ups with a safe distance apart. You didn't bring anything up, of course not, and Choso was too conflicted to figure out what the hell he should do. He knew you were stubborn, and if he wanted something with you, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. There were still layers protecting you and if he tried anything, he was afraid you were going to resort back to square one and hate him again.

So, he let it be... as much as it was eating him alive knowing you definitely felt something for him as he did for you. It was probably why things were awkward, as much as both of you tried to avoid being such way.

Choso was seated at your desk as you were nestled on your bed. It had been a while since he was in your home and the only reason why he was there was due to an annual inspection at his apartment building. If it hadn't been happening, you two would've been social distancing on his couch instead.

"Finally," you breathed, tossing yourself back on your bed. "We finished."

Looking over at you, the way your shorts clung onto your thighs and how your sweater rode up to expose a piece of your belly, Choso sucked in a sharp breath. "Fuck it."

Sitting up on your forearms, your eyebrows furrowed, "wha—" Choso was suddenly on top of you. You let out a gasp as he practically pinned you on your bed. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, but the second you felt his lips on yours, they fluttered close. Your palms tried to push against him, but the sensation filling you—the nights of endless dreams of Choso—you couldn't help but succumb. Your hands slipped through his hair, tugging at the loose strands as your lips parted for him.

Kissing you deeply as his tongue glided across your own, tracing every inch of your mouth as you tugged on his hair, Choso felt you wrap one of your legs around his waist. Lowering himself on you before rolling you over to straddle him, you subconsciously began grinding your hips against his as your tongue reached for his again.

Just as you felt Choso's hands reach under your sweater, your door slammed open. Your heart was pounding faster than ever as the sounds of your father screaming echoed in your head. He came rushing in with rage in his eyes as he ripped you off of Choso. Your breathing somehow seemed louder than the yelling beside you as your vision began to blur. From one second to the next, you were shoved back behind your father as he grabbed Choso by the collar and yelled in his face.

The voice of your father and now your mother as she stood by the door in pure shock that turned into disgust, muffled as you tried reaching out for Choso as he was shoved towards the door. "Choso! Wait!" You called out but your father blocked you. "Stop— No! Choso!" Your blurred vision was forced to look back at your father as he  spat out his disappointment in you. Saying you will never see that boy again as long as you lived under his roof. How he blamed Choso for the person you were becoming and how you were forbidden to leave the house unless you told them exactly where you were going.

It was absolutely childish, you were an adult! But that wasn't what had you the most devastated, no, it was the fact that—yes, you had fallen for Choso and things were never going to be the same.

"How long has it been?" Yuki asked as she sat before you at her dinner table.

"9 days," you sighed, rubbing your temples as you sunk into your seat. Yuki basically became your therapist as she knew just about everything that's been happening between you and Choso. As exhausting as it was, she was rooting for you two. She was hoping for the best but hearing how things just kept getting out of hand, she couldn't help but worry for you. "He's avoiding me now. He's blocked my number. Couldn't call nor text him." Groaning as you leaned your forehead into your palm, you shook your head.

"You need to tell him," she said but you shook your head again. "You've gotta find a way. He can't be avoiding you for no reason."

"If I tell him I'm sure he won't say he feels the same. He's doing this for my sake, I can tell... I just—" sucking in a deep breath, you frowned, "it shouldn't have ended up this way."

"Well, you can't control your heart from falling so deeply for someone, can you?"

"Choco! You are smoking again!" Yuji stomped as he eyed his older brother who had just walked in from the balcony. "You promised you'd stop!"

"I know," Choso sighed as he rubbed his forehead.

"You broke your promise!" The little boy pouted. "It's not good for you! It makes you stinky and can kill you!"

"I know, Yuji—"

"I will stop eating candy if you stop smoking!" The pink haired boy pointed as Choso sighed.

"No, you won't—"

"And why haven't I see my best friend? It's been too long, Choco!" Yuji furrowed his eyebrows as he crossed his arms. Choso knew he meant you.

"I don't know..." the older man groaned, as if feeling a headache coming. He was used to his little brother's nonstop talking and pestering... but today, he wasn't having any of it.

"Liar! You are always talking to her! I miss her and you stopped having her over!"

"Enough!" Choso snapped as Yuji instantly flinched. His bottom lip pursed out as his eyes began to water. His tiny body trembled before he turned and ran to his room. "Dammit... I—" going after him and finding a lump under the sheets that was shaking, Choso frowned. "Yuji, I'm sorry." Seeing the giant stuffed tiger sticking out from under the sheets, Choso gently pulled the blanket back. "I didn't mean to snap on you... I just..." taking a seat on the bed as he eyed Yuji, Choso rubbed Yuji's back. "I can't see her anymore... which means you can't, either."

"But... I miss... her..." Yuji sniffled into the stuffed toy.

"Me too..." lying back on the bed as he looked at the ceiling, Choso felt Yuji shift beside him as Yuji sat up.

"Why can't we see her?" He asked.

"It's complicated..." Choso answered as he rubbed his face.

"Do you love her?" Yuji tilted his head as he held the stuffed tiger beside him.

Feeling his heart skip a beat, Choso rolled onto his side and eyed his little brother. "I do."

A gasp left the pink haired boy as he scooted closer. "Well, if you love her, you shouldn't give up," Yuji said as he gave Choso a hopeful smile. "You should go see her and tell her!"

A heavy knock sounded on Yuki's door as you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at it. "Are you expecting someone?" You asked.

"No, but you are," she said as she leaned back in her seat, stretching her arms above her with a sigh.

"Huh?" You shook your head as your confused expression deepened.

"Go open the door," Yuki nudged her chin.

Unsure as to why you listened, you let out a huff before pushing back your seat and standing up. "I don't know what you have up your sleeve... it better not be my parents. They know I'm here, you'd think they'd believe me..." you mumbled to yourself as you opened the door, expecting two unwanted faces... instead, getting one you had been aching to see. "Choso?"

Seeing the way your eyes widened as he stood before you at Yuki's apartment door, drenched in rain water as a nightly shower had rolled in, Choso felt his heart race as he reached for your face and pulled you into a sudden kiss. His beating heart grew faster as he so desperately clung onto you, but your palms instantly pressed against his chest and shoved him back.

Seeing the look of shock now on his face, you clenched your teeth, "you— you think you can just come out of nowhere and—"

Pulling you back into this kiss as his hands tug onto your wrists, Choso silenced your complaints with his own words. "I love you," he breathed against your lips, kissing them repetitively. "I love you," kiss, "I love you," kiss, "I fucking love you," kiss. "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," he nearly whispered as he pressed his forehead against your own as you stood stunned before him. "I was scared. You deserve better than me. I believed you were too good for me. We are from such different worlds and you deserved someone like you. That's why I avoided you. But, fuck, I've never felt this miserable being away from you. You were all I could think about. Dream about. I missed you. I missed your smile and laugh. The smell of your perfume. Seeing you being your genuine self around me. I missed having you around and caring for Yuji. Fuck, why do we do this to ourselves?" Choso breathed. "You avoided me, I avoided you. We let everything that doesn't matter affect us but I don't give a damn about what anyone else says, I love you and I want you. I want to be with you. I—"

Reaching for the back of his head as you tilted your own, you kissed him, now being the one to silence him. "I love you, too," you confessed before wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. "I do... I was scared, too. Of everything. But you bring out the best in me, you make me happy, Choso... I want you just as bad."

"Finally!" Yuki groaned as she stood from her seat. "Having Choso's number was handy."

Looking over at her as you had nearly forgotten where you were, you blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Oh, nothing, just me being the greatest friend and telling Choso where you were and making sure you two finally get together. It was exhausting seeing how things were going all because of lack of communication and fear and how ridiculous your parents are. You're an adult, they can't stop you from who you love," she rolled her eyes with a wave of her hand. "Now go on and leave with Choso and have fun. You can thank me later," she shooed as you and Choso backed up before she closed the door on you.

"Uh..." you stared at the door before looking up at him, seeing him shrug.

"She had been texting me for a while. I was actually a bit confused but then I started seeing her on campus when you weren't around and we got along pretty well. So I figured she'd know your whereabouts, asked her where you were, and luckily you were with her. This would've been much harder if you were home, but I would've done it anyway," he explained as you smiled.

"This is the most I've ever heard you speak," you teased as he shook his head. It was then you remembered he was still soaking wet and you were still outside just barely covered from the rain. "Let's go back to your place before you get sick."

The second you arrived at his apartment—and learned Yuji was staying at Nanami's with this last minute decision to see you—Choso was quick to pull you back into a kiss. You had tried to stop him, telling him he should dry up, but Choso instead started undressing right before you in between kisses. His black tee that clung to his body was the first to go, revealing his toned chest that you so quickly went to touch, feeling his abs underneath your fingertips. Then, he went for his sweat pants, kicking them to a side before he went for your clothes. You couldn't quite process what was happening, your head was spinning from the kissing (and the fact that he was in nothing but his boxer briefs before you). Before you knew it, all that covered you was your underwear as Choso left delicate kisses down your neck and collarbone.

Now standing before his bed as he held your hands in his, Choso pressed his forehead against yours as the two of you stood in silence, listening not only to the rain trickle, but your shared breathing. "I'm not that bad of person, am I?

"No," you shook your head. "I was a fool. I'm sorry..."

"Doesn't matter anymore," he mumbled, "you love me and I love you. That's all I care about. What's in the past is in the past, I love everything about you, and I'm glad I got to peel away those layers," he smiled as you did, too. "May we?"

"Mhm," hummed, "yes... please."

Reaching behind to unclasp your bra before slowly removing it from your body, Choso then lifted you up and settled you on his bed, tugging down your underwear. Bare and exposed to him as your heart raced and chest heaved, you were just about ready to cover yourself, but Choso's lips beat you to it. He kissed along your chest and bare breasts, down your belly and to your thighs. He parted your knees and admired the way your bare pussy glistened for him.

Watching with hooded eyes as he licked his lips, you swallowed as you clung to his bed sheets. Your eyes followed the way his figure lowered to his knees, how he kissed closer and closer to your heat before leaving a sweet peck on your clit.

Reaching one hand up, Choso interlaced his fingers with yours before he licked a broad strip up your cunt, moaning at the taste of you as you shivered. He felt your free hand slide into his dark locks as you let out a shaky breath the moment his tongue teased your entrance, only to make its way back to your aching nub. Choso smiled at the way your hand tugged at his hair to push on his head, further burying his face against you. Swirling his tongue around your clit, he made his way towards your hole before teasing it once again.

"Choso, please, stop teasing..." you begged with a breathy tone.

"Anything for you, baby." Plunging his tongue in you as he fucked you slow, he pulled away to play with your clit before two of his finger pushed into you. The sounds you made had his grip tightening around your hand as his other thrusted his fingers in and out of you.

Your toes curled as you felt that burning desire within you ready to explode. "Ch— Choso, I'm gonna—" but before you could finish, he pulled his fingers out, replacing his tongue with his thumb on your clit. Feeling his tongue sink into once again, Choso was more than ready to lap up your juices as you came on his face with a shaky moan.

Taking in as much of you as he could, groaning in delight at the taste, Choso released your hand before he crawled over you and slid his tongue past your mouth to share your essence. He listened to you hum as your shaky hands reached for his briefs and tugged them down. Helping you as he removed the remaining piece of clothing on his body, he felt your hands caress the side of his thighs before reaching in between the two of you.

Gliding your tongue along his as you so sweetly wanted to swallow each other whole, your hands wanted to feel the weight of him on them. You gently began to rub at his length, already knowing it was going to a bit of a hassle to have him fill you just by the feel of his bare cock in your palm. You pumped him slowly, brushing your thumb over his slit as his breath hitched against your lips. "Fuck me, please," you quietly begged. "I want you, I love you."

Separating from the kiss as he gently peeled your hand away from him before he could come on your hand (which he was sure would happen in any second) he brought you deeper into the bed before he reached for his drawer. That is until you stopped him. "What is it?" He asked, heart dropping. Were you having second thoughts?

"I want you bare," you breathed. "Please..."

"Are— Are you sure?" He asked as you nodded. "I'll pull out."

"No," you shook your head, giving him a look as if saying it was okay.

Blushing, Choso nodded, "okay." Wrapping your legs around his waist as he aligned himself with you, Choso slowly sunk into your tightness as a hiss left him. You reached up and held onto his shoulders as he bottomed out, pausing for a moment as he rested his forehead against yours.

"It's okay," you breathed before giving him a small peck to the cheek.

Pulling back slowly, Choso began thrusting in and out of you at a steady pace. He littered your face with kisses as your eyes fluttered closed. Kissing down your neck and chest, he brought one hand up to fondle with one of your breasts. Giving the other some attention as he sucked at the skin and left red blotches in his wake, faint bites and kisses too, he brought your nipple into his mouth as he began to pick up his pace.

"Faster," you breathed as Choso did so. He thrusted deeply into you, giving your breasts equal attention. Kissing and licking, biting and marking, moaning at the feeling of you squeezing him. Your hands tugged on his hair, the sweetest sounds leaving your lips as he fucked into you in a way that made your heart flutter. He wasn't trying to break you nor fuck you into the next life. No, he was loving you in a physical way to prove just how deep his feelings ran for you. The languid movements of his hips, the kisses against your body, the way he brought his hands into yours as he whispered his love for you into your ear. You swore you could hear angels singing. The tears brimming in your eyes and staining your face as you felt this wave of pure ecstasy wash all over you.

You had never come like this before, almost in unison as you felt your mind, body, and soul becoming one with his. You must've been in heaven, up in the clouds. It was almost ethereal. He filled you so deeply before his body nearly gave out and collapsed on yours.

He needed a moment as he stayed in you. Catching his breath before pulling out and falling beside you. Tugging you to him as his lips lazily met yours in the loveliest, sloppiest kiss, Choso ran his fingers through your hair as he mumbled sweet nothings against your lips.

"I love you," you breathed, nuzzling your face against his chest before looking up at him. Caressing his hair then rubbing your thumb along his nose and cheeks, you gave him a sleepy smile. "You're so handsome..."

Giving you the same smile, Choso caressed your forehead, placing his hand on the back of your neck as he kissed you once more, "you're beautiful..." he muttered. "So pretty... I'm so damn lucky..."

"Me too..." Enjoying the silence shared between you as you felt yourself more than ready to fall asleep, you then forced yourself up as you remembered something. "Choso! Your hair is still soaking wet!"

Letting out a small laugh, he sat up and reached for your hands, tugging you out of the bed with him, "then let's share a shower and you can dry my hair."

"Oh, I so won the bet against Gojo," Mei Mei said as she stood beside Utahime.

"Kinda predictable, but at least she's happy," Utahime said.

"And I helped!" Yuki beamed as the three of them watched you walk hand in hand with Choso across the courtyard of the campus. The biggest smile was on your face as Choso gazed down at you, almost as if it were a scene ripped from a rom-com.

"Ladies, now that Choso is taken, I'm available—"

"Save it, Mahito," Yuki raised a hand as the other two women beside her simply ignored the man. A laugh left Suguru as he was trailing beside Mahito, instantly gaining Yuji's attention. "But if Suguru is available..." teasing him with a wink, Suguru's eyes widened. "Men are so easy to toy with."

ONE YEAR LATER.

It was almost impossible to keep your hands to yourself. You always found yourself twirling Choso's hair around your finger, giving his bicep a small squeeze, hugging his arm, placing your palm on his thigh... it was rare for you not to be right beside him. Choso didn't mind, he never did, he loved how your touches felt. He welcomed them, actually. When you weren't touching him, even in the slightest way, he felt off. As if something was missing.

You didn't seem to care where you were. If he wasn't around, you'd patiently wait to see him again, knowing very well it would be you jumping him into a hug or pulling him into a needy kiss. You weren't sure who you had become within the year you had been with Choso, but it was so freeing.

Especially being able to do it in front of your parents.

They were not happy when they found out you had been secretly dating him for months without telling them, but their reaction didn't phase you. Actually, you were in the midst of moving out. Choso had offered you to stay with him—and although you were a bit worried at first—you couldn't have been any happier with your decision. Away from the two most troublesome people in your life, now living with the person you most adored, and your tiny best friend, Yuji. Yuji was the most ecstatic when he learned the news of you moving in. Already planning out things to do with you like movie nights and games to play together as well as other little things that made the boy happy.

Overall, you were happier than ever. Freer than a bird. And seeing the look of disgust on your parents face at dinner did nothing to stop you.

You didn't know why you did it, maybe it was because they were your parents, and maybe since you were a good person, you still visited every now and then. However, it was almost always with Choso. And they couldn't do anything about it.

"Well, we have to go pick up Yuji," you said as you stood from the now cleared out dinner table.

Choso followed in your lead as he felt you slip your hand into his. He was already used to your parents at this point and didn't bat an eyelash to their judgmental looks. Though, they were... improving. Slowly. The glares and scowls weren't so bad anymore. Wasn't his fault their little princess of a daughter fell in love with a terror like him. He loved her more than anything in the universe and nothing would change that. "Good night and thank you for dinner."

Gathering your purse and cardigan from where they hung, Choso opened the front door for you as the two of you walked right out. These nights always ended this way, you never waited for a response or some sort of action. In reality, these gatherings never lasted more than an hour. There wasn't much to say or do besides eat...

Climbing into Choso's car as the two of you let out a laugh you had been holding in, you gave his cheek a kiss before he backed out of the driveway and made his way to Nanami's. "It's the way your mom looks so disturbed when you hold my hand."

"And how my father bites his tongue whenever I give you the smallest of kisses," you chuckled. "A year and you'd think they'd move on. That's what happens when you have one kid. They should've had more."

"It's alright, they'll find a way to accept it... Eventually. In a decade or so," he said as you sighed, reaching over to hold his hand while resting your head against the seat.

"Whatever, at least my grandparents like you. My grandmother is always asking for you when I do my weekly calls," you snickered as Choso smirked. "She doesn't get why my mother is the way she is. She blames my father. Oh well, at least we've got their support."

"And our friends," he added.

"Mhm," you smiled. "That's all I need."

Eventually arriving at Nanami's home, you were greeted by said blond man trailing behind an excited pink haired boy. Yuji always had a habit of rushing out the moment you arrived, practically glued to the window whenever Nanami announced you two were on your way.

Helping the little boy into his car seat, both you and Choso greeted and thanked Nanami before the man bowed his head and closed the door for Yuji. Said boy smiled at you as you turned to give his hair a little ruffle before poking his ribs gently. "How was Nanamin's?"

"Fun! He helped me with my homework and then we had dinner with his family and then we played uno!" He said as you grinned. "And you?"

"Not as fun as it is being around you," you pouted, earning a giggle from the little boy.

"Choco's not fun?" He asked, earning a sigh from his big brother.

"Of course he is, he makes it all the better. I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't there," you sighed as Yuji lifted his eyebrows, only to grin.

"Then I think I know what you have to do to make sure Choco is always there!" Yuji clapped his hands.

"What is it?" You curiously asked as Choso looked over.

"Get married!" He exclaimed.

Looking at one another, Choso shrugged, "he's not wrong."

Playfully rolling your eyes, you readjusted yourself on your seat as you went back to holding his hand. "Well, then I'll be waiting for you to propose."

an: so you've made it this far? thank you so much! i promise you it was worth it... how are feeling? it's dramatic, i know, but i love drama and angst as much as i love smut and fluff... reblogs are much appreciated! xo

#haruno writes; #choso #choso kamo #choso x reader #choso x you #choso x y/n #choso x female reader #choso smut #jjk x you #jjk smut #jjk x reader

[hollowsart]

Alright - favorite versions of mysterio? (Also I'm curious, it seems like you don't seem to care for the mcu version and that's fair and I have a sneaking suspicion I know why, but - what's the beef there?)

I've talked before about why I'm personally not a fan of the mcu version even despite having never watched the movie

[THIS] is the last ask that I answered related to the mcu version of Mysterio and answers it fairly well. but I am curious what your 'sneaking suspicion' is to why I'm not a fan of the mcu Mysterio, though? please let me know!

As for my favorite versions of Mysterio.. gonna whip this image out again & also list them down below the cut, reminder: these are not in any order:

TSSM: my number 1 brainrot. This one is a given considering he is the one that I based and designed my own Mysterio off of heavily. 1) Debatable Latin, 2) Funny, 3) melodramatic, 4) pathetic, 5) just watch [This]

Shattered Dimensions: [Exhibit A] [Exhibit B] [Exhibit C]

Webspinners: uhm.. uhm have you seen that one panel of him.. when he's first entering his old childhood home? that one panel.. is def the best he's been drawn in that comic, but also.. your honor. I could never in a million years hope to fix that man, but you gotta admit, -gestures vaguely- move over Betsy, I'm about to GET IT-- [my reaction post]

@scoutverse: Does fanmade count? because uhh.. Arcade's Quintin Beck.. he's uhm.. Arcade knows my thoughts and feelings on his ukranian twunk. how dare you make him so appealing in so many ways. I am abnormal for him. <3

Insomniac SM2: ..Listen. His whole side mission is just.. it's a chef kiss from me, okay. [the whole side mission] I am genuinely.. falling for this one. Send help-- sdkjhdsjkf

@lazydaydrawings: ..I am not above being a lover of a good monster okay. And their Mysterio? 10/10 all around. I am very normal about him I swear-- (she is lying through her teeth) I desire to learn more about him and also the entire world that they came up with for their spidersona, too!! It's so cool and just!!! YOU GOTTA CHECK IT OUT. GO!! LOOK!!

Renew Tour Vows: I just like how he looks. there's like literally nothing to his character here. I just like how he looks... his design is..... very appealing.. a shame he was only present for like 0.5 seconds :( [just look at him]

Mooseterio: THIS CREATURE HAS NOTHING BUT [THAT ONE CANON PIECE OF ART] AND [HIS CAMEO IN ATSV]. I AM DEVASTATED. ME AND LIKE 2? OTHER PEOPLE ARE (rarely/occasionally) CREATING CONTENT FOR HIM. He is a goofy funny moose with googly eye cape clasps. Rocky & Bullwinkle wannabe (affectionate) Honestly I prefer this design over the Mysteriape one by a long shot. Same goes for MJ Waterbuffalo over Mary Crane Watsow. It just looks better, more fitting/more personality.

How To Read Comics The Marvel Way: ..Listen. You just have to read it and see him for yourself. [Link to read]

616 Comics: Alright I admit I like the basic 616 comic Mysterio, too. You can't love Mysterio without loving his OG variant. Old man ran an obstacle course marathon so all the others could do a leisurely jaunt. He grew on me the more I fell in deep with liking Mysterio in general :(

Honorable Mentions: @itschr1spy, @spooky-salesman, @masterserris/@neomysterio highly recommend you talk to them about their Mysterios!! They're all really cool and unique and totally worth checking out!!

#mysterio #quentin beck #//long post

[jerzwriter]

Detective Rose's Momma?

Pixelberry has been very Pixelberry and given us no backstory on our MC's Mother. I've wanted to create my own HC, but I'm hesitant because now that we know there will be a book 3, it could be ripped to shreds in a matter of seconds. Still... I have ideas, and I'm curious to know what others have dreamt up for Detective Rose's mother's backstory.

My ideas are below the break, but please reblog with your own HC. I'm tagging some CoP fans/creators I know of, but please, anyone is welcome to jump in. I'd love to know your thoughts.

I've toyed with several different HCs. I'm not sure which is the winner at this time lol I will use Carolina since that's my MC's name.

Runaway Mom - Carolina's mother and father were HS sweethearts. Her mother found herself pregnant not long after graduation, thwarting her dreams of attending college and potentially putting a damper on Jaime's (Jimmy - hey, my MC is Latina!) plans of attending the police academy. Her family wasn't very supportive, but the Rose family agreed to help out so Jimmy could still become a cop. But they weren't very supportive of her mother being able to pursue her dreams (a little old-school mentality, a little cultural). After Carolina was born, her mother suffered from post-partum depression. Between that and feeling her life was essentially stolen, she ran away, leaving full custody to Jimmy. Carolina was raised by her dad, her late abuelos, and Uncle Tommy. There would def be more drama in this route (Mom tried to come back once - why didn't Carolina know? Some really angsty stuff). In this scenario - she's still out there... and how could that be woven into the story. It could go different ways: a) She tried to come back after getting therapy and, being protective and fearing losing Carolina (perhaps a buddy recently lost child custody?), Jimmy refuses to allow her to have contact. He says she can see Carolina when she is 18 - if Carolina wants to. Her mother (obviously still unnamed, lol) could be heartbroken but accept it. Or heartbroken but angry and wanting vengeance... Do you see where I"'m going here? Or, b) She walked away and never looked back. But one day, she wants to reach out to Carolina. She contacts the NYPD trying to get in touch with Jimmy, and finds out he died when Carolina was only 13.

2. Dead Mom - Her mother died when she was young. During childbirth - something her father/Tommy always hid from Carolina to protect her from feeling guilty - is my preferred story. Since I don't think I want Carolina & Trystan to have children, this could tie into that story somehow. I also toyed with her dying of an illness when Carolina was very young and that she has little or no recollection of her.

3. Deported Mom - Another thought was her mother was deported when she was a child. Jimmy fought tirelessly to have her returned, but when things looked hopeless, her mother decided to try and build a new life in her homeland (not sure where this will be yet... undeveloped.) When Jimmy learns there is a chance that she will be able to reenter the US, he learns she's moved on with someone else, and they're expecting a child. She tells him to raise Carolina alone.

I don't know what I'll go with - but I'd love to explore this more during the break between Book 2 and 3.

What are your thoughts? What do you think happened to MC's mom in your HC?

Tagging some people - again - anyone can reply!

@storyofmychoices @lilyoffandoms @trappedinfanfiction @inlocusmads @starsarewithinme @moominofthevalley @reveluving @brycesgirl @aces-and-angels @cariantha @coffeeheartaddict2 @custaroonie @kyra75 @alj4890 @shreyamistry @ao719 @a-cloud-for-dreams

#crimes of passion #trystan thorne #trystan throne x mc #detective rose #backstory

[toxicanonymity]

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

-

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

#ask #how the sausage is made #toxicanonymity writer's room #this doesnt mean i answer serious asks now lol

[stormyweaver]

Sometimes in my head I'm like 'This needs to be said' and other times I'm like 'nah just leave it be'. Not sure which one this time is but... I rarely censor myself on this blog anyway.

It's not even like a huge take really? It's just that one of the reasons I stopped posting/interacting on here was that a lot of people I used to talk to often had unfriended and blocked me, or just deleted their blogs for one reason or another (valid to both btw. Sometimes life happens.) I was feeling really down about the former though. I struggle a lot with maintaining any relationships, platonic or otherwise. So I'm always left thinking 'Ah I did XYZ yep I am a horrible piece of trash'. Which... I'm not.

I'm not a bad person. I'm a human, and I think people like... forget sometimes that even though we can't see each other, stuff does affect each other. I don't blame people for deciding to unfriend/block/whatever if they have a gripe with me. If it happens then it is what it is, but it def sticks with me bc I'll never know exactly what I did for that to happen. BUT as one of my favorite shows growing up has taught me: You can be the nicest, coolest, kindest person out there, and someone will STILL not like you. That's just how life is.

Now onto the positive: I have so, SO many valuable friends from this kink and I'm always so grateful to have them in my life. Is the fear there that one day I'll fuck up or they'll get tired of me and leave present? Absolutely. But I'm learning to just enjoy the ride for as long as I can, and if life or whatever else decides that we part ways, it doesn't need to be a tragedy. I can and will continue to try and be as true to myself as possible.

Anyway idk what this post is really meant to accomplish. I think it's more of a... it's something for me to see and realize how much I've grown over the years, not just on snzblr or even tumblr itself. I'm always gonna be a sensitive person but, I think I'm learning how to not beat myself up so much behind the scenes. And to remember that there are people here who love/appreciate me, even when my mind tries to tell me it's not true.

That being said, I def wanna try and be more active on here, even if I'm not in the most popular fandom or newest shiny thing. 'Cause I enjoy sharing with other people. I genuinely do. Not promising anything certain but, if it happens it happens.

#greyrambles; #not snz #yeah idk i always get in these moods of introspection #is that a word... sure it is #it is NOW LOL #greysdiary;

[this-is-krikkit]

For the drabble challenge your grace, I request number 29. I was going to pick something much worse but I thought I'd be nice this time :)

send me a number (and a ship/character) and i'll write a drabble

thank you for: the prompt, calling me your grace (i will be requesting that you do so all the time from now on though, cheh), and for picking something nice (although now i def want you to send me the worse one!!!). know that this almost went somewhere really, really dark, but drunk me decided against it.

The Poll

Prompt 29. How is my wife more badass than me?

Tags: levihan, actor AU, the 104th kids, silliness

now edited and posted on ao3

The SNK panel is going well so far, although it's the last day of the convention and even Hange and Conny's social batteries are running low -Levi's has been empty since the end of the first morning, to no one's surprise- but they're pushing through bravely. Only a few more hours before they can all head back to their homes, and Levi can recharge -and take care of Hange as she goes through her usual post-convention depression.

"Hange," the host calls out, finally leaving a red-faced Armin alone after a round of merciless questions about his character's newly revealed romantic arc, "you were elected most badass character from the latest special episode in a fans poll, outvoting even Levi and Mikasa's characters. We've talked about that amazing last fighting scene of course, but I don't think I've heard you describe that emotional goodbye with Levi before. How was it filming that goodbye scene?"

Hange doesn't immediately reply, and Levi can tell they're uncomfortable although they've all been briefed and Hange okayed this topic. He understands their unease as he absolutely hates having to rethink about their last moments on set -well, last until their fleeting appearance in the last part of the season, but the fans don't know that yet- and so for once, he's the one who speaks up and switches the topic.

"Oi, what did they say you beat me at?" he asks, turning to Hange but speaking in his microphone so everyone hears him.

"Most badass character, babe," Hange replies with a thankful grin, flicking her short hair back.

People, both fans and castmates, laugh at the exaggerated gesture.

"Are you guys kidding? How the f- hell is my wife more badass than me here?" he asks, glaring at the crowd and host in the typical way his character is famous for. "She threw herself to her death and left me half to go on and fight my ape arch nemesis and that giant bony monstrosity when I was still half dead and missing parts of my dominant hand-

"Well, as your character said, Levi, two fingers is all you need," she interrupts.

She winks at him -well, blinks, but he's learned to read through her attempts by now- and he prays he's not blushing as hard as he does every time Hange unexpectedly flirts with him in public, even years after they've made their relationship public. Someone -Eren, that's gotta be this shithead Eren- whistles suggestively, and Levi takes a deep breath in before clearing his throat.

"Anyway, my character is the most badass, period. Yours isn't even on the show anymore."

Hange laughs as a few shocked gasps escape the audience.

"Don't hold it against him, folks, Levi's still a little shaken up by that scene," she explains.

"Was it a difficult moment for you to film as well, Levi?" the panelist attacks again.

Levi looks down, then sideways at Hange, and the smile on her face falters as she hears his silent plea to get him out of there.

"Well, it was interesting as actors to portray feelings those characters don't usually display," she starts, "and it was a challenge to do justice to this particular scene. One I hope we lived up to, although from what i've seen in some tweets-

"To be fair, you guys were exhausted by the time they finally called that scene a wrap," Jean interrupts on Levi's other side.

"Why? Did it take long to shoot?" the host asks now, clearly desperate to finally get a reply to at least one of their questions.

Eren laughs, and the rest of the cast has a smile on their face they all try to hide when Levi loudly clicks his tongue at him.

"Oh, come on. I can say it, Hange, right?" he asks, although he sounds a bit less sure than his usual self.

And to Levi's horror, Hange simply chuckles and nods.

"Yeah, go ahead. It's probably going in the bloopers anyway."

Eren sighs in relief, and Levi hides his face into his arms as he awaits his fate.

"I was behind the camera watching them acting this scene out since it was one of my favorite moment from the script," Eren picks up in his most dramatic tone, "and it took them hours to get it right. But not just because one of them cried or messed up their lines, no... the real recurring problem was, those two kept ending it with a goodbye kiss! And since Hange was supposed to fly away right after her last line and that kiss wasn't scripted at all, they had to redo it over and over again, while our director was pulling at his own hair and yelling at them to stop making out!'

The crowd erupts into a chorus of laughter and exicted squeals, and the other cast members join in as they remember that day on set.

"I'm going to kill you, Jaeger," Levi says as he sits back up.

"Hey! No spoilers, old man," the young star retorts.

Hange snorts out a laugh, and Levi stares daggers at her instead. All she does is put her hand on his knee under the table, squeezing gently, and he doesn't pay attention to whoever is getting tortured now.

He only looks into Hange's eyes, glad to finally be rid of that damned eye patch prop she's had to keep on for the last season and loved a little too much -and is most definitely planning to steal from the set, he bets- and can only thank the universe that this is all fiction and his Hange's alive and well by his side.

#levihan #snk #levihan drabbles #drabbles #my stuff #drunk drabbles #snk actor au #(i wrote it drunk and edited it half drunk it counts ok) #mutuals #dont f with moogles #levi ackerman #hange zoë #squad denial #in the form of actor au #fluff #it's rly stupid fluff lol

[todayinmagicalgirlhistory]

in regards to astraling, what would you say your expectations were and what the reality of it has been like for you? has it lived up to the expectations you had or did they differ by a little or a lot?

Oooh that's a journal post worthy question!

Before I was able to astral, it seemed like some grand adventure type beat. If I wasn't trying and failing to astral, I was reading about other people's experiences or people's recommendations of places in the astral to visit, etc. etc. so I could build a list of places I'd go visit once I was able.

Come to think of it now, I have never visited any of those places whoops and I have long since lost that list. The me from a while ago would def be disappointed fjsdnfjksnf

But I've gone to plenty of other places that I found just as fascinating and interacted with a lot of interesting individuals and cultures. Before I astraled, I would often see other astral workers saying something along the lines of "The astral is sort of like an RPG".

And you can definitely get that kind of experience in the astral, don't get me wrong. If you want to have a Breath of the Wild style astral adventure where you're fighting and finding oddman work to do so you can say you're doing side quests, you definitely can. If you want to find a place experiencing some sort of problem that needs a hero, you can find that. (Which I don't really recommend just going out to find places like that just so you can feel like a hero. It's one thing if you stumble upon that sort of place and wish to help however you can out of the kindness of your own heart. But if that isn't why you want to help, then I'd leave it be because you could be doing more harm than good.)

I've definitely taken up quick delivery jobs to make quick cash in places I was visiting so I could shop in the markets of certain places I was in, but you can find so many other experiences as well if you go beyond that and I'm glad I did that instead of getting caught up in trying to have adventures that I thought would sound just as cool as the ones I was hearing about from others.

Their grand adventures of awe-inspiring degrees were cool, but so were the more mundane ones I ended up having. Which I think any astral worker would agree with, regardless of what they do in their path. You'll meet someone who does some of the dopest shit that will, in the same breath, go "so I was in this coffee shop in this vampire realm I stumbled across and bro they had THE BEST cold brew in my life. Like, the shit I get at Pete's Coffee/Tim Horton's/Whatever does not compare".

There's magic to be found just visiting a bookstore in the astral. There's lots to discover visiting an astral city that on the surface looks like something you'd see back here in the physical and then oh boy there's something wildly different there in contrast.

There's something cool to be found sitting in the tent of a lamia's divination tent and asking she can do a bone reading for you. And there's definitely magic in asking a whale shark mermaid passing through the area about her travels and other cultures she may have come across in them.

I've had my experiences of accidentally stumbling into trouble or trouble finding me and that setting off a wild chain of events that felt like something you would see in an anime. But I would say my favorite parts of astral travel are the more mundane activities and spending time with the people important to me. Then whenever I get the itch, I go somewhere new and see the sights and see what else I can learn.

As of now, I think that astral travel lived up to the expectations I had but I found those expectations being met in different ways than I thought I would.

Just as there's someone cool to find in someone pulling off incredible astral feats, there's something cool to find as well as touring a school's campus in the astral!

#magical girl answers #anon #astral travel #hedge witch #hedge witchcraft #black witches of tumblr #astral work #astral adventures

[azzie-tangerine]

For Character Ask:

Susie: 7, 8, 12, 23, 25, 26 (freebie question is what would be her three closest friends out of the notable cast)

Magolor: 7, 8, 20, 21, 22, 23

Hooray lots of questions! This will be long.

Susie: What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I think Susie deserves to be a lil unhinged. It’s a very specific balance and one tip makes it something I dislike, but I love it when ppl make Susie a good person, just would also make lethal weapons. Would plan to torture her enemies but also go get her nails painted with the girls. Like I said, very specific balance.

Susie: What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

The answer’s p obvious. Thanks to a mistranslation a lot of people make Susie heartless, a jerk, or do things I’d rather not say on this post. I hate that a lot. Is Susie perfect? Absolutely not. She has layers to her character however.

Susie: What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I have already shared a few headcanons, like her being a cyborg or a romance fan. Those are headcanons I adore. I also think that, like Taranza, she’s a hopeless romantic. She loves the idea of falling in love. She just doesn’t have a lot of time to do so.

Susie: Favorite picture of this character?

This one from the twitter. It's also my favorite Taranza picture.

Susie: What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I don't think I felt much for Susie when I first saw her. Most likely because my first impression of her was... certain art. That traumatized me a bit. Nowadays, I love her. She has daddy issues and definitely a kill count. But she's also sweet and makes lil robot gifts for her friends. She's great.

Susie: What would be their three closest friends out of the notable cast?

I'm a big fan of the Star Allies Wave Three trio (that being her, Magolor and Taranza) all being close. So def them, Susie would probably also be close with Ribbon. Due to a shared interest in girly things.

Magolor: What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Magolor's a pretty universally loved character in this fandom. So a lot of content of Magolor I end up adoring. If I had to pick a specific thing, I think him interacting with other characters (like trying to sell Elfilin or trying to teach Kirby) are my favorites. I love character dynamics!

Magolor: What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

This one doesn't irk me as much as the answer I had for Susie. I can handle this one pretty well. But still, it does annoy me when people either A. try to justify his actions and make him innocent lil blorbo, or B. Make him not learn a single thing from his mistakes.

Idk I like when characters are complex, so when fandoms simplify a character it can annoy me. This one's not as bad as Susie's though. If you see him as irredeemable or innocent I do not hate you! We can coexist and be friends.

Magolor: Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I think I said this before, but 100% Marx. They're both chaotic, they've both betrayed Kirby, and canon implies they know each other. I tend to get more attached to ships/character dynamics that have some canon backing, so I like Marx and Mags. Platonic, romantic, I don't care. I just think the grape and the cat are a fun duo.

Magolor: What's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Magolor is probably my favorite character I've written. I love when I write his shopper side. Justifying why he sold his soul for micro transactions, announcing a sale before he disappears in Stuck With The Lor. Also writing him as a cat.

Idk if I hate anything about writing Magolor. He's a fun guy to write!

Magolor: What's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

I love it when other writers give Magolor a backstory or reasoning behind wanting the Master Crown. I'm a psych major, so when past affects a character's decisions in the present?? Peak. I did this in Stuck With The Lor too. Magolor hated being powerless as a kid, so he wanted all the power. Only for that to put him in the same position he was in when younger Only a lot worse.

Magolor: Favorite picture of this character?

I just really like the composition of this one. The colors, the hints of every phase of the final boss. I think it's one of my favorite Celebration Pictures in Star Allies (besides the Taranza one. You know which one I'm talking about)

#tangerine.txt #susie kirby #magolor #ask game

[tomiyeee]

possible spoilers for the gamefor anyone who hasnt played(?):

Yo if the boys decided to travel teyvat would they follow the traveller's initial storyline? Except with a bit of a canon diversion? Would they pull a traveller and go through every nation? I like to think when the turtle bros get to sumeru Donnie is straight up staying at the akademiya, no one can get him out. I'm also interested on how their reactions would be to overworld bosses. Most importantly

Whos the best at windtrace between all of them?

(Zamn I just dropped so much uhhh sorry I think I fried my brain a lil😵‍💫)

unfortunately, i've never tried windtrace so i have no idea 😭 i think they had it during the hiatus i took from the game jdsklfjdslk. sorry!

as for the other questions though.. (putting under a cut so this post isn't too long for non-genshin followers)

i'm not sure if they'd have much reason to visit every nation, since in my AU at least, they are basically just like regular teyvat citizens. i do think that donnie would particularly be drawn to sumeru and (from what i know) fontaine bc of the technological advancements. i might actually try to incorporate elements from those into his design cuz he totally would take inspiration from their tech (wonder if the purple dragons would be from either of those nations? 🤔). mikey would also probably really enjoy doing adventure guild commissions in sumeru bc like. some of them are literally "bounce on some mushrooms" or "play whack-a-mole". you can't tell me those wouldn't be his absolute favorites to do. and i think they'd all be at least a little bit interested in visiting inazuma to learn about splinter's history and where he grew up, since he moved to mondstadt to raise the boys :O

the bit about the bosses though is kinda funny jfkdsljf imagine raph just desperately trying to keep his brothers shielded through azhdaha and geovishap attacks 😂 i think they'd all have pretty good synergy with each other to get through fights with relative ease, but they definitely would get bored while grinding and start to fuck around at some point. mikey def would try to make friends with some of the enemies and it probably almost works on some of the more sentient ones, even if all it does is baffle them enough to stop attacking temporarily.

#ask #anon #rise genshin au #rottmnt au

[cloud-somersault]

Soul anon here:

I will eagerly devour whatever food/words you post! I am looking forward to the chapter so much and I already know the next chapter is gonna be so good just from the hints we get of what you've written.

Also how do you write do much? Like if you have any tips or tricks, would you share them? I feel like I can always get so passionate about ideas and then...the creativity just poofs! Evaporates when I sit down to write.

I hope you have a great day and a good weekend!

aww, thank you!! i decided to split it into two parts. The first part will be 30k!! which says a lot. That leaves 14k left for part 2, and I'm still not done 😅

UHm!!! I write so much because I've been doing this for a long time. And I just have disciplined myself to find pockets in my life to write. If I don't write anything for an extended period of time, I get really irritable and sad.

I have a few tips! Just for writing in general. I think, once you write enough and feel comfortable, writing long-form comes naturally.

Consume good and bad media! Dissect what makes a story good and what doesn't. Seek out other perspectives and see what holds up and what doesn't.

Go back to basics! Learn about character arcs, plot structure, character development, etc. Find what you like most! Look at literary devices -- what do you like to see in the media you consume? Find the things that you like and put them in the story you're writing. then you'll be excited to write!

write the scenes you're most excited about! if you have a scene in mind, go ahead and write that. everything else will come later. write what you have motivation for. on other days, you'll just feel like writing something simple, and that's when you can write the more "boring" parts of a story

remember that this a hobby and meant to be fun! you don't have to share your work with anyone and you don't have to please anyone. you're doing this for yourself, so write whatever you want! there's no rules to follow.

try and write when you've got a couple hours to yourself to just focus on writing. it's okay to write in pockets of time here and there or when you won't be interrupted, but def dedicate a few long stretches of time to just writing to iron things out, do research, etc.

Those are all the tips and tricks I can think of at the moment! Thanks again, and I hope you have a good night/day and a good weekend!! thank youuuu

#ask #anon #thank you soul anon u beautiful soul

[your-local-uwu-artist]

how's the smurfing going?

it's going good! my google doc is at over 5 pages, I got some nice sketches and the responses have been very helpful and fun >:D (shout out to isopod guy) the only problem is trying to not make my bias of who's my favorite smurf to be tooo obvious fndkjsa

plus the constant struggle between needing to do research and rewatch episodes and read wikipedia articles and the fact that i get what i call 'withdraw-l'... bassically I can only go so long before I just gotta doodle fdnjak

anyway: I SUPPOSE i might as well explain what the fuck I've been doing (if anyones noticed a lack of posts in the past handufl od days: the reason for my absence is that I was busy iwth my smurfing fdja )

bassically I've always had a LOT of questions regarding the smurfs, (many of which I've had sense childhood) and it's been plaguing me because nobody else seems to care to answer these questions, I'll be like 'what chemichal do you think makes them blue?' and 'what form of asexual reproduction do you assume they use' and 'i don't think it makes sense that they'd crush on smurfette, i'd imagine their mono-sex mono-gender society wouldn't really have those concepts or well, be heterosexual for that matter' and everyone responds with 'what aere you on' (the autism spectrum) 'why are you asking me this?' (i want to here your answer) and 'it's just a cartoon' (AND SOMETIEMS YOU GOTTA ASK SCIENTIFIC QUESTIONS ABOUT CARTOONS) so I decided if I must do everything myself so be-it.

essentially I'm planning to make a very silly half video essay half my nonsense 'if i was in charge of a smurfs reboot' video. heres some of the doodles so far!

vanity's always been my favorite so i'm having a hard time convincing myself to draw some smurf other than him fndasjkfnask (Azrael has always been my second favorite lol) I'm really excited to draw more fo smurf village! mushrooms houses my beloved <3 tbh the village is def a plus for the live action films, while giving the smurfs eyelids and lashes and pecs did not work I do enjoy seeing cute fantasy mushroom village in a photorealistic style <3

anyway one very fun thing i learned about while researching is about these really pretty very epic and pog mushrooms that are native to new zealend and just the most brilliant shade of blue

these things are blue-tiful! And there are actually pigmented! (a lot of things in nature aren't actually blue and rather the structure of it refelcts light and shit to give it a blue appearance) the thing that gives em the blue pigment is a kind of 'azulene' but somehow just a brighter varient: they're so whimsical looking!

a funny thing I've found just through research is that a LOT of people aren't aware of smurfettes origin story, or thought that the origin story was from the live action films, this is so strange to me cause like ????? it's been there sense the begining comics, and theres plenty of episodes where it's mentioned

I'm also suprised by how many people seem to be fond of the new female smurfs: so I guess I'm on the unpopular side here, I've always imagined them as sorta sexless and generless, and that female smurfs (excluding artificially made ones like smurfette) just discovered and decided they preferred feminine gender expression/presentation. (i do wish i included a question asking if people as kids assumed them sexless, cause i always have)

idk I'm still working through the new cgi series and my cartoon pirating site doesn't have the second season, so maybe I'll change my mind on them

ufdnsjafnsdk sorry for rambling the hyperfixation has taken hold lmao

#kyuchat #yuwutube

[libraryofgage]

how long have you been in fandom spaces?? and do you have any funny/weird stories about being in fandom?

Hi, anon!

So, I've been in fandom for a while. I first started reading fanfiction in junior high and began posting what I wrote in high school. My first fandom space was Hetalia (yes, it's cringe; yes, it's ironic considering I'm Jewish; no, I don't shy away from this part of my fandom past lmao) on ff.net

I wrote a few (like, ten or so?) x-reader fics that got flagged by the roving gangs of morality/ff.net guidelines police that haunted the site back in the day lmao

I've recently finished a master's program, so after doing math that took me way too long, I can say it's been about a decade for me in fandom spaces

Regarding funny/weird stories:

My go-to get-to-know-me story for any fandom server is the time I learned how to get into the Houston NASA base undetected via backroads (and just straight up driving through grass at one point) because a scientist there wanted a TV fixed by the company I worked for in high school (I was too young to work there, some child labor laws were def being broken but it was 10/hr so, like, fuck it we ball)

In my first year participating in the Tododeku Big Bang, I derailed the server for, like, over an hour if I remember correctly with a single question: does syrup go in the fridge or pantry after opening? This became, like, a full-blown debate; friendships were ruined, betrayals were discovered, and like half the people there gave the wrong answer. (it goes in the fridge, btw, and you can't change my mind :P )

In high school, I once got so desperate for fics that I turned to fucking Quotev and DeviantArt. If you know, you know, and if you don't, I wish I were you hfjdks I deserve a fucking purple heart

I took a class in undergrad where the big final was just to show that you'd been working on something creative the entire semester. Some people showed original comics they drew, others showed off websites for their poetry, one girl showed off a website for a DC Batman AU that she wanted to pitch to DC (I have her AO3 and her posting consistency is so admirable omfg). @amy-airheart took that class with me and can confirm: I wrote 50k in one week, wrote even more, and then presented my AO3 stats page as my proof of doing creative things during the semester. I think the total was like 80k or something. The professor asked what drugs I'd taken and where he could get some

That's everything I can think of for now. I'm sure there's something buried deep in my subconscious that I'll remember later, but I hope you found at least one of those amusing hjfkds

#an ask #and answered #anon #this was a fun trip down memory lane actually #if anyone remembers 2p!talia #I had an RP partner back in the ff.net days #and we had this whole sprawling RP AU in which my 2p!talia characters were dating their American State characters #All 50 of them #We had like 50 pairings that we kept track of every single day including fucking children OCs for a few of the couples #All of this while going through high school stress so bad it caused a patch of hair at the back of my neck to go permanently white #Anyway if you read these tags you also deserve a purple heart

[wowowwild]

Thank you so much for not despising Nahyuta they're so special to me, could you do them for the character ask? (I also love that you're a Nahyuta nb truther.)

I just think they're interesting.

Character Ask

Favorite thing about them: 

Least favorite thing about them: I think they were done dirty by the writing tbh. (explanation)

Favorite line: Look, ik it's basic, but "A business card…? Ah, yes. I read about this custom among businessmen in this country. I have even familiarized myself with the various replies. "How do you do, good sir?" or, "What's crack-a-lackin', homie?" for example." Who told them that? Who told them that was an acceptable response to a business card? Bc that person is def in my top 10 favs.

brOTP: They should be bros with Athena methinks. They would be menaces together.

OTP: Blackmadhi is so good for me. I can also get behind Skyemadhi, and could even potentially see... idk what it's called. xKlavier. You know the one. It intrigues me as a concept, I would have to explore it further. Also, also, the one where Ema is dating Nahyuta and Maya but Nahyuta and Maya are just silly pals by @u3pxx. I think that's nice.

nOTP: Idk who they even get shipped with outside of those. I know in the Japanese version Apollo and Nahyuta are stated to be childhood friends rather than siblings but I don't know the rest of the context through out the game so I can't really say one way or the other, but in the English version this ship would definitely squick me, however I'm not sure how many/if any people who have played only the English version actually ship this, I've only seen it from people who have played the Japanese version.

Random headcanon: This right here. And also they take learning American slang very seriously, and then also British slang to figure out what Blackquill is saying. Except they learned the really old stuff too and part of their self imposed homework was watching Twitch streamers and now they're really into mcyt. This is going to be so funny when my own post crosses my dash and is filtered out for having mcyt in it (I don't dislike it, I'm just not interested and the posts tend to be long so I can scroll past quicker like this.)

Unpopular opinion: I don't even know. Apparently liking them? I mean if you take them as they are in canon, I mean being and active participant in everything that was going is, uh... bad. But I don't really treat anything from 5+6 as strictly canon anyway so it doesn't matter.

Song I associate with them: I don't have one for them specifically really. I feel bad I have to keep not having anything for this question. Rec me all your songs, I want them.

Favorite picture of them: There's one where someone drew them with a sideways baseball cap on at burger barn. The hat is red. idk where it is. I may find it. Edit: I found it and 100% misremembered most of it but here. Also basically any art by @ministarfruit or @kuranne88.

I also love this concept art fit:

#nahyuta sahdmadhi #ace's ask #ace attorney

[tadpolesonalgae]

CBMTHY is quite literally my favorite thing right now, the past 3 parts you've posted I've hidden in the bathroom at work and read (sometimes twice) and I genuinely can't get enough. I love angst and your writing definitely fulfills that craving i have for it (please do more eventually).

You have such a realistic (delightful may i add) portrayal of azriel's not so good tendencies. i feel like he would push away someone who genuinely likes him away in favor of someone unobtainable. especially if she wasnt traditionally beautiful compared to someone like elain who could bring kings to their knees, nesta who is so effortlessly graceful and stoic, and feyre who is literally high lady and bagged not one, not two but THREE highlords (she could've had tarquin if she wanted lets be so forreal).

In comparison anyone would be plain, so reader being overlooked makes sense. And so az getting jealous that she of all people is getting attention from males after learning about her initial attraction to him is PERFECT. Because elain doesn't like him back, not with her having a mate and def not now that she knows her sister likes him. So azriel. to feel better about his rejected advances uses reader's affections to validate himself.

And don't even get me started on Eris 😭 this is the best writing for him ive seen. because hes an ass, he knows hes an ass. but with the way reader fought back against him after the swan incident you can practically FEEL that hes pleasantly surprised because who in their right mind is that unfiltered in front of a future highlord? and its only cemented with the conversation about the orrery. if he knew it bothered azriel on a personal level im sure he would do even more things for reader, (which id love to see), but i think that his gift in this most recent part is evidence enough that he respects her far more than az has in his entire time of knowing reader.

i definitely want to see azriel grovel, but i dont want her to accept it. she deserves to be respected by someone from day one. someone who can challenge her and match her energy, and i think that eris is that person long term. *maybe bas for short term ;) *

anyway, thank you so much if you read this. i look forward to reading your next part while hiding away at work

-a new reader 🤠

🥹🫂 well I really hope it continues to be as fulfilling as you’ve so far found it to be!

‘please do more eventually’

Going down a slightly more depressing path, I have found myself speculating about some other fic ideas that, quite frankly, I’m not sure they would even still count as angst? They seem to be leaning much more into general misery with no redemption? And I’m kind of liking it?

Returning to the whole idea of mental illness within the acotar universe, I’m wondering about self-esteem, too? Everyone in the Inner Circle has a “use” I guess? I’m wondering what it would be like to be surrounded by such powerful, capable people for two years and being the only one who has nothing to show for the time spent feeding off their charity.

Eris really scares me in terms of writing his character with a semblance of realism 😭

We haven’t really gotten a chance to see him being “nice” to anyone which makes me wary of a potential relationship between him and Reader? It’s a stressful like to walk, is what I’m saying, so I’m happy you’re finding it believable 🧡💛

‘if he knew it bothered azriel on a personal level im sure he would do even more things for reader’

Definitely agree with you there 🤭

‘i look forward to reading your next part while hiding away at work’

Well, I’ve been trying to get started on part 7 so hopefully you won’t have to wait too much longer (just make sure you don’t get caught🧡💛)

#�� anon <3 #🤠 #CBMTHY