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#? is that a tag? its easier than the whole thing lol

downydig · 7 months

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alright ALRIGHT she's my favorite i KNOW it's perdictable for me!

#what am i supposed to do!#shes a raggedy!#my art #doodles #the amazing digital circus #tadc #? is that a tag? its easier than the whole thing lol

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jasntodds · 11 months

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Caving In [Book 1 End]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 15,158

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon violence, blood, mentions of injuries (bruising, being shot with a tranquilizer), canon character death, fluff, mentions of torture, mentions of being brainwashed

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: Uh, hi!! It’s the last chapter of book 1 and I just wanna say a very big thank you to all of you who’ve been reading 😭 Your comments have literally kept me posting and have meant so much to me!! I really hope you guys like this chapter!! I will have chapter 1 of book 2 up in 2 weeks and then weekly after that!! lol There’s a longer author’s note at the end about this book and book 2!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The women and you go back to the tower. Donna and Dawn explain what the man told them. They’re planning something, that’s more of the information they got from the guy they “spoke” to. So, the only option, at the moment is to wait and try to come up with a plan to storm CADMUS before they can execute their plan. But, you’ll still need more help because Donna, Dawn, and you don’t have nearly enough power or resources to get you all in and out of CADMUS alive, so you’re all back to waiting.

You spend a lot of the time in the training room throwing knives as you wait. Waiting has to be the worst part of this whole thing. The longer you wait, the more Gar is in danger. Donna and Dawn tried to reassure you that if CADMUS is planning something, that means Gar is at least alive. Sure, that’s good, of course it is but what are they doing to him while he’s alive? As someone who’s been tortured twice, you know that it’s a hell of a lot easier wanting to be dead than tortured. Gar is strong but it’s not fair. It shouldn’t have been him.

After a few hours, you take a break and head to the kitchen, hoping for an update from Donna and Dawn, but as you walk in, the elevator doors open revealing Jason. A rush of relief floods you as a warm smile splits your face with the sight of him. You waste no time in walking up to him just as he exits the elevator. Jason can’t help the smile that comes to his face as he sees you. He can’t even believe how much he’s missed you. It’s been a week. But, you wrap your arms around his neck and he feels warm again. The hollow feeling in his chest starts to fill with adoration as he wraps his arms around your waist. Jason Todd is not much of a hugger but he’d take a hug from you any day.

“Miss me?” Jason quips as you pull away, his eyes landing on the bruise on your cheek. It looks a lot worse in person.

“Eh, a little.” You shrug one of your shoulders, looking to the ground and back to him. “Thank you for coming, Jay.”

“Yeah,” Jason’s eyes look up and back to you. “You’d do the same for me, so would Gar.”

“You came.” Donna states as she comes around the hall, Dawn on her right.

“I’m here for Gar.” Jason’s tone switches and he’s, rightfully, still a little bitter about what happened.

“Thank you for coming, Jason.” Dawn offers him a kind smile and Jason just nods, looking back to you.

“Well, I’m gonna go fill him in.” You give the women a gentle smile. "Unless...there's an update?"

"No," Dawn shakes her head sadly. "You can fill him in."

You let out a sigh, nodding your head and chewing the inside of your cheek. You grab Jason's hand and tug him along with you, passing past the women, and head to the training room. Jason catches you still limping slightly and he figured the fight with CADMUS was bad but you clearly got hurt. He kind of gets why you were so insistent that night with Deathstroke. It’s different seeing each other injured at the hands of someone, now that you know each other.

You take a seat on the floor and Jason follows your lead, just as you both did that night just a few months before. You extend your legs in front of you while Jason extends his left leg, his right leg bent up and his foot planted on the floor. Both of your hands rest on the floor behind you.

It feels a little weird being back. The tower is feels empty, sure, but it’s kind of like it’s haunted. A cruel reminder of everything Jason isn’t, of everything he could have been but failed at being. It’s not reassuring or comforting or welcoming, but he looks at you, and he’s glad he came, if only for a night or two.

“Spill your guts.” Jason grins at you because of course, he remembers what he told you that night.

“Ha-ha, you’re hilarious.” Your eyes widen before your sad smile drops. “Well, CADMUS attacked and we did not stand a chance.” You let out a dry laugh. “Like, they just kept coming in. Gar transformed and uh, we were in the kitchen so I started grabbing knives, got a few of them.”

“Good.” Jason scoffs.

“Yeah, but uh, they shot me with a tranquilizer?” You roll your eyes. “I don’t really remember much. Just, Gar in front of me and not a tiger anymore. I woke up and they were gone. I called you, then Dick, then Kory. Then everyone else, but Donna was the only one that called back. She showed up a few hours later. Then she got a call from Rachel saying she was in danger or something so we went to this diner? Bruce showed up?”

“Why the fuck was Bruce there?”

“I have no fucking idea? He set it up, I guess? I have no idea. So, uh, Dick got himself arrested.”

Jason lets out a booming laugh. “No shit? Goody fucking toe-shoes Dicky Grayson got arrested?”

“Yep! So, Rachel wanted to rescue Dick first and I wanted to rescue Gar first.”

“Why the fuck would you rescue Dick? He put himself there.”

“That’s what me and Donna said!” You yell dramatically. “So, we argued about it and she made me really mad so I punched her in the face.”

Jason has a smile of disbelief crossing his lips. He would never hit Rachel outside of sparring, especially after she almost killed him but he’s surprised you did. He knows she must have really gotten under your skin if you’re the one throwing punches first. And, he is very curious what exactly Rachel could have said that finally got you to snap especially since you said you aren’t normally the one to throw punches.

“Over Gar and Dick?” Jason questions with the nod of his head.

“Well, I--no, like there was more to it. I don’t know. She was throwing shit in my face and I said she was a wounded puppy.” You start explaining, Jason unable to control his laughter. He knows it’s true but he would have killed to have seen the look on Rachel’s face. “So, she said that I was because I was mad about the stuff that happened with you and this was after she tried to tell me what I was going to do, save Dick and not Gar.” You roll your eyes as Jason’s laughter subsides and it clicks.

The last straw for you was a comment about him? He knows he means something to you because you’ve said it a thousand times and you make it so obvious, even Jason can’t miss it. But, he didn’t think you’d still be fighting over him when he’s not around. It means more to him than he’ll ever say.

“You punched her because she called you a wounded puppy?” Jason raises his brows.

“Well….” Your eyes look to the side and then up, as if to be in thought before you land back on Jason who has one of his devious smirks. “Yeah, I guess. Like, she was so…” You scrunch your nose as you shake your head. “She also implied I was self-absorbed.” Jason’s face scrunches and he swears you’re one of the least self-absorbed people he’s ever met. Has Rachel not met the rest of the Titans? “And then!” You say dramatically. “She kept going after I punched her. She said that Gar deserves better and that you left me and for 'Deathstroke’s daughter'." You mock the way Rachel said. “It was so fucking stupid.”

“That’s fucking shitty. Who the fuck does she think she is? She chose Dick over Gar but he deserves better than you? There’s no one better than you.” The comment leaves Jason’s lips so quickly he barely even catches he said it. You eye him carefully but choose to brush over the comment. It’s not right to dig into that right now.

“I mean, she has a point and I told her that.” You let out a laugh. “It’s true, I’m not delusional enough to think otherwise but, that’s not the point. It’s not her fucking business.” You shake your head. “And you left for your own reasons and it was shitty to say like you weren’t even there.” Your brows raise as your eyes go wide. “So, her and Kory went to break Dick out of prison, I guess and we came here to come up with a plan to save Gar, Conner, and Krypto. That’s what ya missed.”

“Shit, fuck Rachel. She's not even worth it.” Jason lets out a huff. He really did miss a lot. “You guys think of a plan?”

You shake your head. “Donna and Dawn have the blueprints to CADMUS but they haven’t figured out how we’re going to break in and then out without getting ourselves killed.”

“Yeah, I’m sure they have security up the ass.” Jason sighs. “Could Trojan Horse it.”

You let out a laugh. “Yeah? And how do you suggest we pull that off?”

“I have no fucking idea.” Jason laughs with you. “It’s better than nothing.” Jason leans forward slightly, extending his arm dramatically.

“Right, but we don’t wanna die tonight.” You shake your head. “I don’t know, we’ll figure it out though.” You suck in a breath.

You furrow your brows with the shake of your head and talking about Gar, the lack of plan, it’s making things a little too heavy. There’s the guilt of it all and the trauma still haunting the back of your head because of Jerry and Deathstroke. You feel like Gar might be going through worse right now and it’s a little much. You’ve had nothing to do for two days now besides think about it. You’re tired of thinking. And you’re tired of the guilt wrapping itself around your bones like barbed wire. A distraction would be nice right about now.

“Can we…talk about something else? Just been thinking about what they could be doing to Gar and it’s just…” You look at Jason and you don’t have to say it. He knows.

Jason’s worried about you. When Dick brought Rose back, you had a nightmare, that’s why you ended up in Gar’s room. You were weird, you said it was too much that brought everything back that you had went through. It made it all real again. Gar just got kidnapped and you’re worried he’s being tortured. Jason can only imagine the hell you’re putting yourself through because of it and the hell your own mind is putting you through bringing all of that shit back up again. So, he’s worried you’ll be the next one on the ledge.

“How’re you and Gar? Well, before this shit happened.” Jason asks, picking a topic he thinks might cheer you up. Maybe you’ll have a story, something fun that happened.

“Um…” You look down and back to him, shrugging a shoulder. That’s not what you want to talk about either but you’ll go along with it for now. “Like, we’re…friends.” You nod at him and Jason’s brows furrow.

He thought for sure one of you would say something to each other, especially with you being alone here. He expected Gar to say something, not necessarily you. But that does explain, kind of, the lucky comment from earlier.

“Did you pussy out of--”

“Shut up.” You groan. “No,” You shake your head, eyes narrowing at him. “I…I don’t know.” You chew the inside of your cheek and you don’t know how to explain you and Gar aren’t a thing because you chose Jason. That it’s him and it always has been. Jason just had this thing blow up with Rose and Gar is in trouble. Having some discussion about that, does not seem very fair. And Jason is watching you with a brow knitted inward, knowing something is going on. It can’t be that complicated of an answer. So, you pick a different direction that isn’t a lie, really. “I don’t think we’d work and I’m not gonna do that to him or me.”

“Why not?” Jason asks. “That you wouldn’t work?”

He’s confused. The two of you were fine, seemed like you might go for something when he left and now, nothing. It seems a little weird to him and he thinks you would work. Why wouldn’t you? And he hates that a part of him might even be relieved by it. It might be a little selfish, but it’s true.

“Gar is ya know, Gar. It’s like…nothing can ever keep him down. He’s always happy and kind and fun. Always and I am not those things, which is fine. It’s not me. But, because of that, even as friends, sometimes I feel a bit like a burden to him.”

It’s not a lie because it’s true. You know Gar isn’t making you feel like a burden, but you feel that way anyway. You’re really different and that’s fine and great, it’s one of the reasons you work as friends. He mellows you out. But, it is one of the reasons you know you like Jason more. On top of your feelings for Jason, it wouldn’t be fair to try and see where it goes with Gar if you’ll always feel like a burden to him. It’s not fair to either of you.

Jason shakes his head. “You’re not a burden.” His words are slow and he still has a look of confusion.

He still has no idea why that change happened in the last week and not...any other time before that. The only thing that happened in that time, aside from the attack, was the stuff with him and the other Titans. And maybe he’s actively convincing himself that is just a coincidence.

“Yeah, but it feels that way because it feels like he’s sorted through all of his trauma and then I still have this shit I didn’t deal with. And I can’t…do that with him because he talks and that’s great, right? It works for him and it helps me but….I also sometimes can’t talk about it. You get it and I know you do. I’m reckless and despite what we learned from Deathstroke, I gotta feeling that’s not always gonna stop me from doing something insane later. It’s…I feel like he wants to fix me but not that it’s anything that he’s doing or saying or anything like that. It’s a me problem, not a Gar problem, like, maybe he thinks sorting out my shit will make me better in a way that I’m not meant to be. It happened and I think I’m permanently fucked up from it. I know he is not trying to fix me but I feel that way anyway. I don’t know, feel a bit like damaged goods.”

Jason gets it. His entire life he’s felt like damaged goods but he’s looking at you with a deep bruise you’re only wearing because you’d go to war for people you care about. That’s not someone who’s just damaged goods. And Jason swears he’ll do everything in his power to make sure you know that.

“You’re not damaged goods.” Jason states and he doesn’t have his signature smirk. “Going through that shit doesn’t make you damaged or some shit. You’re still you.”

“Mmm.” You hum and you gain this sad smile, dodging his eyes. “Yeah, but, uh, it-it, uh it feels like it anyway.”

“Not to me.” Jason shrugs and he said it on purpose. It doesn’t matter to him what you go through or that you’ll always be reckless, always looking for the next thrill because he’ll always do the same. You’re not damaged goods, not to him.

Your face softens and your stomach flips. That’s why it’s always been him. You don’t feel damaged with him. “That’s awfully nice of you, Jay.”

Jason gives you a cheeky grin. “I can be nice.”

You let out a laugh and you swear everything is a little bit better with him around. “Yeah, you can be.” You offer him a thankful smile. “Thanks for coming.”

“You and me.” Jason repeats what you normally say to him and you swear your heart is about to burst into flames.

“You and me.” You let out a sigh, looking down and then back to him. It’s enough about you. “Seriously, you okay about Rose? I know you really liked her.”

Jason knows Rose is going to be a sore spot for a little while. He just feels so betrayed. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve it or why she wouldn’t have just told him. Had she just told him, maybe he wouldn’t have been nearly as mad or upset about it. So, it sucks but he knows he’ll be fine. He has been with every other person that’s betrayed him and mistreated him. He’s used to it.

Jason nods. “Yeah, I’ll be alright. Just fucking sucks. Got me feeling a bit like damaged goods.” Jason lets out a laugh, an almost teasing grin tugging at his lips before it falls. “Ya know, like, I tried really hard with her. Taking her out, showing her that school I told you about, acts of service type shit.” Jason’s eyes widen. “And she treated me like shit, pushing me away, lying to me, using me. Sleeping with me and knowing she was fucking lying the whole damn time.” Jason grits his teeth getting angry about it all over again. “Nothing I did was fucking good enough even when I tried.”

You were hoping you were wrong about Rose. Truly, you didn’t even dislike her until the day they left. It was a bad day for everyone but you were right and you wish so badly you weren’t. Jason doesn’t deserve any of that. He’s already gone through too much shit, especially over the last two weeks.

“You don’t deserve it. You put in a lot of effort, you trusted her. That shit, that’s on her. She gets to live with what she did to you. She doesn’t deserve you. She gets to live with the fact she’s the one that fucked it all up, not you. You deserve so much fucking better, Jay. It was enough, she just fucking sucks.” You let out a scoff before looking back to him. “And you’re not damaged goods.” You give him a kind smile. “Not to me.” Jason could never be damaged goods to you.

Jason chuckles softly, his cheeks starting to tint a faint shade of pink, his heart throbbing into his vocal cords. “Thanks.” Jason smiles softly at you and it should have been you he left with. “You’re good at that.”

Your brows furrow. “Good at what?”

“Knowing what to say.”

Your cheeks start to burn. “Just being honest with you.” You rub your eye, wincing from the pain.

Jason scoots closer to you, you keep your hands firmly on the ground, watching him with suspicion. Jason reaches forward, turning your head as he holds your chin to get a look at the bruise and your skin is on fire, tingling under his touch. Your heart is in your throat and your breath is caught right at the base of your throat. This is new. And Jason just wants to look at it, make sure your cheek isn’t broken. He’s been a hit a time or several there and it’s always unpleasant. And this bruise looks really deep, he tells himself he’s just making sure you’re actually okay. Physically. But it gets his blood warming with the idea another person caused it.

“What’d they hit you with?” Jason’s voice is lower this time, dropping his hand.

“Butt of a gun, fucking assholes.” You scoff, your voice on the verge of breathy as you try to ignore the fire in your stomach. “Shit hurt.”

Jason chuckles softly, leaning back on his hands. “Yeah, that’ll do it.” He shakes his head. “Sure it’s not broke?”

You shrug. “I have no idea. Probably not, my face isn’t deformed or anything. Doesn’t hurt that bad.”

“Did you ice it?” Jason asks and you find it a little cute and very cute he’s asking about it.

“No,” You laugh and Jason groans. “I was icing my damn leg. That is the shit that hurts.”

“Yeah, what’s that about? You’re the one limping now.” Maybe he regrets leaving. Maybe he could have helped, in some way.

“That’s where I was shot with the tranquilizer.” You roll your eyes. “The bruise is like half the size of my thigh.”

Jason cringes at the thought of it. “Ouch.” Jason shakes his head. “You sure you’re alright?”

You smirk at him and he’s cute when he’s being protective. He should do it more often. “You trying to take care of me, Jay?” Maybe you’d let him if he offered. You take care of him.

Jason's cheeks shoot red as his eyes look to the ceiling and back to you, doing his best to ignore his heart in his ears. “Someone should.” Jason lets his words out sarcastically but of course he is. Always.

You suck on your teeth and you’re trying so hard not to give him the satisfaction of a genuine smile, but you can’t help it. You fucking missed him. “Yeah, same for you.” Your eyes widen at him as you rest your head on his knee. “I’m fine, thank you though. Honest, just hurts still. How’s your leg?”

“All good.” Jason smiles down at you and he swears that can’t possibly be comfortable. “Doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“Good.” Your smile is soft and Jason swears the ache in his chest from Rose doesn’t hurt so much with you.

Jason debates in his head. He’s not gonna say anything, that is for certain. He thought Rose wouldn’t be like that. Rose went through some really horrible shit, her own dad cut out her eye. Jason kind of thought because of that, she’d get him…kind of like you do. He wouldn’t feel less than or not good enough because she’d get it. But, she…treated him like everyone else but worse because he really, really let her in ways he doesn’t normally. And she screwed him over anyway. Everything with them was actually fine at the tower but they get away from it all, from the Titans and people, it’s just them and then…she keeps lying to him and using him. You are not Rose, but, there is a part of him that thinks maybe the same exact shit would happen because why wouldn’t it?

But, his mind wanders back to you kissing him anyway. Maybe it’s an easy distraction from worrying about Gar. But, he thinks about it and his reasoning of not wanting you to die for him and ruining you like he ruins everyone. And you’re looking at him with soft eyes he doesn’t think he deserves it because he left. Because he turned you down. Because he tries to pushes you away, even if he isn’t very good at it. And he debates if any of that was ever the right decision. So, he decides that testing the waters a little, will ease his mind.

“So,” He furrows his brows and dodges yoru eyes for a second. “You and Gar, just…not gonna be a thing?”

You smirk at him, picking your head up and he’s got that coy look he gets when he’s trying to play something off and failing miserably. “Why? Does that pique your interest, Jay?” You’re back to the asking game and that feels comfortable. There’s no pressure in it.

Jason shrugs one shoulder. “Nope.” He tries his best to wipe the grin from his face but he can’t help it.

“Mhm, okay. Whatever you say, birdboy.” You lick your lips. “Nah, not gonna be a thing.” You want to mess with him a little. You’ve missed that a lot. “Kind of into someone else anyway.” You scrunch your nose and Jason snaps his eyes at you, a devious look in his eyes.

“Yeah? And who's that?” There's a teasing smirk on his face while his tone is taunting, as if knowing you’re not going to tell him or that you’ll have some bullshit answer just to mess with him.

You shrug dramatically. “We should join the others.” You have an uncontrollable smirk on your lips and Jason is ready to burst.

“You’re not gonna fucking tell me? Just gonna leave me hanging?” Jason chuckles, his eyes wide.

“We don’t always get what we want, Jason Todd.” You let a laugh fall from your lungs and Jason swears it should have been you.

“Yeah? And what do you want?” Jason cocks his head to the right, taunting you.

A part of you almost blurts it right out, get it out in the open despite better judgment. A part of you almost blurts out to see the look on his face. He’ll get flustered and red will creep from his cheeks down to his neck. His muted forest green eyes will suddenly be a shade closer to the northern lights and you’ll have a good laugh and maybe you’ll get what you want. But, you can’t bring yourself to do it. He just had that with Rose and is still hurt by it. You both have Gar to worry about it and you think it might be shitty if you show up to rescue him and you’ve had this inevitable conversation. And what if he’s fucking with you? Like always. What if, despite everything, he still doesn’t want you? You want him, and you swear you probably always will, but what if he still doesn’t want you? That’s gonna hurt, too. So, you shake your head and decides you’ll tell him but not now. You do, however, decide to have a different conversation.

“Okay, seriously,” You drop the smile and Jason leans forward slightly. “Been thinking about it a little, between worrying about Gar and stuff, the Titans leaving and shit.” You start and Jason is hanging onto every word. He has no idea where this is going. “I wanna go home.”

Jason freezes, the conversation taking a turn. Home? “Like Gotham?” His brows shoot up and he’s not even sure why he’s surprised. You always call Gotham home.

You nod your head softly, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Yeah, uh, I haven’t said anything to anyone. But, yeah. I miss it and honestly, I think it’s just….I like it here and everything. It’s just…I would like to go back and kind of figure out myself. Dick rescued me and I’ll always appreciate that and never forget it. He gave me a shot here and that’s awesome but, I was thrown into this and I think I just…need to go back and find a part of myself again.”

“What do you mean?”

Between everything that’s happened, being here is a lot. At the end of the day, this is the city Jerry bought you to and kept you locked away, tortured you. This is the city that gave you powers you don’t even want. This is the tower that saw you paranoid, waking up screaming from nightmares. Burning Gar. This is the city where you were kidnapped and nearly murdered by Deathstroke. This is the tower that was supposed to be safe, but was attacked anyway. There is so much hidden in these walls, beyond just you that’s impacted everything. You like to run when things get hard and things are really fucking hard right now. You want to go home, a place that you know like the back of your hand. Gotham is always going to be Gotham, but it’s where you’ve always felt the most comfortable and…somehow, safest. And Gotham holds parts of you that are not here. You believe that home is where the heart is but you left part of your heart in Gotham and you want that back.

“I will never be who I was before. But I would like to find some of those parts again. My mom is buried in Gotham. I was…happy there though. Despite fucking everything, I was still happy. And…I…I don’t know.”

“Are you not happy here?”

“No, I am but…it’s different. It might just be the trauma.” You let out a scoff. “But, I was happier there and I just…want to go home. So fucking much,” Your breath is shaky as your brows furrow. “So fucking much has happened in this city and….honestly, I only stayed because I couldn’t abandon Gar. I couldn’t leave him alone and I thought not running, for once, would be good but….” You look to the ground before pulling your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs and then looking back to Jason. “More shit just happened and…” You let out a breath. “I’m tired, Jay.”

You look tired. You aren’t smirking or grinning at him. Your eyes are dull and you literally look tired and sad. Jason’s chest aches looking at you and he worries a little bit more about you. The ghosts that roam the tower, do more than affect the original Titans. They affect everyone who lives here, on top of their own ghosts that want to follow and taunt them. If anyone in this place deserves to be happy, it would be you.

“Where would you go?” Jason questions and he knows you’re impulsive but he's got a feeling this is something you’ve been thinking about over the last week.

You shrug. “Figure it out.” You let out a broken laugh. “Did before and CPS can’t do shit now, so.” You let out a deep breath, tugging the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands.

Jason would be lying if the thought of asking you to come to Gotham with him didn’t cross his mind when you said you and Gar were a no-go. It was less than a split second but he knew he’d never be able to ask. There’d be no way he’d put that on you, going back to the shitshow of Gotham. But, if you want to do it anyway…

Jason pulls his other leg to his chest, resting his forearms on his knees. “Okay, are you really wanting to do it? Like, no bullshit or whatever. You wanna go back to Gotham?”

You nod. “Mhm. Too heavy here right now.” You dodge your stare to Jason’s hands, catching a glimpse of faint bruising on his knuckles.

Jason gives you an understanding nod. “Want me to talk to Bruce?" The words flow from his mouth like a gentle river, easy and smooth.

Your heart stops in your chest as you snap your eyes to Jason’s. “What? Talk…to Bruce?”

Jason nods. “Not letting your ass go back to the streets. If you’re fucking serious about going back to Gotham, I can talk to Bruce. I know you don’t like him, but it’s a roof over your head, a warm bed, food. In Gotham.”

You adore him. That’s the only thing that’s running through your head. It’s running over and over and over, on loop like a broken record. You adore him for everything he is and everything he isn’t. Asking Bruce, is something you never thought he would do. That is his thing. More so than even reading seems to be because that’s where he’s Robin. But, he offers anyway.

And he offers because he’ll always take care of you. And keep you safe. No matter what.

“You’d really do that?”

“Hell yeah.” Jason gives you a grin, the beating of his heart stutters. “Be more fun if you were there anyway.” Jason shrugs.

“Thank you, Jay.” You smile softly. “I’d really like that.”

“I’ll talk to him, sure he’ll be fine with it. You know he likes strays.” Jason gives you a cheeky grin and you let out a laugh, looking down and then back to him. Jason is relieved you’re okay with it. Maybe even a little thrilled.

“Yeah, when are you gonna start plucking strays? Bruce then Dick, you’re next Batboy.” You point a finger at him and you think he might be good at it, better than Bruce and Dick.

Jason lets out a groan, tilting his head back. “That's the meanest shit you’ve ever said to me.”

Your laugh booms off the walls and Jason’s heart nearly melts through his ribs. “I think it’s probably their best quality!”

Jason’s never felt this before. Not exactly the heart thundering and stuttering or the clammy hands or cheeks aching from smiling too much. But, the comfort he feels with you. The ease of how the conversation moves between you, how it goes from serious to banter to serious, so easily. He’s never had that with anyone before. You’re both worried about your best friend but with each other, you find your own way to deal with it and handle it rather than training yourselves into the ground while waiting. Jason has never felt so comfortable in a place he does not feel welcomed and it’s because of you. He is so sure of that.

Just then, Donna walks in, gathering yours and Jason’s attention.

“Kory and Rachel are here, we’re gonna try to come up with a plan.” Donna states.

“No Dick?” You ask and Donna shakes her head, a look of annoyance on her face.

“Do not say anything.” Donna warns and Jason gains a grin before getting to his feet. “Either of you, please.”

“I won’t, just asking.” You defend while Jason extends a hand to you.

“I don’t have shit to say to her.” Jason lets out a scoff.

You grab his hand and get to your feet. The two of you follow Donna to the kitchen where Dawn and Kory are standing at the center counter and Rachel is seated on the same countertop. Jason and you head to the opposite side of Kory while Donna stands between you and Dawn.

“You’re back.” Rachel states with confusion as she looks at Jason.

“Was told you guys needed the help.” Jason deadpans and he also doesn’t want to deal with Rachel right now.

“Okay, well, we have news about Dick.” Kory states before Rachel can respond.

Rachel and Kory go off to explain that Dick wasn’t in his cell. He must have escaped with the other prisoners or something. Again, you sit there thinking about how you were right and Rachel was wrong about this. Dick could handle himself. He went off to wallow in his own self-pity and now he’s free. It’s like you thought would happen. But, you listen anyway as they get to the weirder stuff about Dick writing on his cell walls that Jericho is alive.

“Well, one thing’s for sure. He’s clearly lost his mind.” Donna says.

“But, I keep having these dreams about Dick being killed by Deathstroke.” Rachel says as she’s seated with her legs crossed on the counter. “And they’re going away. We need to do something about that.”

Jason shifts his weight to his left leg as he crosses his arms. You watch his jaw clench and you know he wants to say something so you move a little closer to him, your arm resting against his. When he looks at you with a quirked brow, you offer him a faint but calm smile. It’s not worth it. You have Gar to worry about not Rachel’s dreams and Dick escaping prison. He’ll be fine.

“I believe you.” Donna says. “But we have bigger problems right now.” Donna flips the case of the iPad open, showing blueprints of the CADMUS building.

“Okay, what’s the plan?” Rachel lets out a sigh and you bite your tongue.

Now that Rachel got to do what she wanted, now she’s on board with saving Gar. You can feel your blood wanting to boil. It’s just so ridiculous and it’s not even like you can say anything because you’ll just argue again and you’re tired of arguing and fighting. So, you bite your tongue and Jason catches you stiffen next to him. It’s his turn to give you a nudge and shake his head. You grin at him and jerk your head toward the women where you stand Donna and Dawn, furthest away from Rachel so you can still see what’s going on.

"Well, the main CADMUS building closes at 9 and security drops down to 10. There's two at each gate and then six roaming inside." Kory explains.

"Okay, what about the lab?" Donna asks as she zooms in.

"Whole different story." Dawn says. "It's a twenty-four-hour operation and in the last week, they've doubled up the guard. Four six-hour shifts, 10 bodies around the clock. Sounds like that's where the party's at."

"Okay, well, let's crash it." Donna says.

"Finally." You let out a sigh.

"It's about damn time." Jason lets out a scoff.

"Oh, so we're just gonna break in CADMUS and get Conner and Gar out of there. Just the six of us?!" Rachel questions.

"Do you have a better idea?" You quip, unable to hold your tongue.

"We don't have a choice right now, okay?" Donna states. "But, between you and Kory, we have plenty of firepower. At least to get us through the front door."

"About that, I've got some bad news." Kory says, gaining everyone's attention. "My powers have vanished."

"Yeah, that tracks." You mutter and it's just one thing after the other here.

"What do you mean?" Donna asks.

"I don't know. I don't know what happened. But they're gone and I haven't been able to get them back." Kory states, frustration in her voice.

"Well, that's fucking great." Donna sighs. "What about you?" Donna asks Rachel.

"Fully loaded but I can't promise that I....won't go a little bit overboard." Rachel rushes her words slightly. "Um, things have been getting a little...dramatic."

Donna looks to you. "How about you?"

"All good and ready to go." You offer her a thumbs-up.

Just then, there's an alert on the iPad. Everyone who can see the iPad starts reading.

"A disturbance at Golden Gate Park. Units responding." Kory reads out loud. "People are injured. Reports of a wild animal."

"Phase two." Rachel states, her voice uneasy. Donna had texted Kory with updates on what they found out from the CADMUS guy and their lack of plan. "It's already begun."

The room falls silent for just a few seconds before everyone starts moving. Jason, Donna, and Dawn grab their suits, you grab a backpack and a change of clothes for Gar, while Kory, and Rachel head downstairs. It only takes you, Jason and the other women a few minutes to get ready and meet at the elevator. Jason hands you one of his helmets and you almost laugh as you take it from him. Of course, you're taking the bike.

"We'll follow you guys." Jason states, getting on the bike, kicking the kickstand up while you get on the back.

"You sure?" Donna asks, the other women already piling into the SUV.

"We'll be fine." You assure her, popping the helmet on, Jason doing the same and sliding down the face shield.

Donna doesn't say anything else before walking off to the SUV. Donna starts driving, moving past Jason and you.

"Hold on." Jason states and you grip his waist tightly before Jason shifts the bike into first and pulls the throttle.

Jason and you follow the SUV closely, keeping the drive silent despite the com system that’s also connected to the SUV. You're both on edge going into this. Gar is your friend. Neither of you want to hurt him. You know you will not do it, no matter what. He's a tiger. All of you together, should be able to stop him without any major problems. But, you’re worried anyway and Jason knows there's a chance you won't have a choice. Bruce trained him and Dick to be prepared if they get brainwashed. Bruce went over what can happened, what being brainwashed can make them do. It can be nearly impossible to stop someone. The last thing Jason wants to do is hurt his friend, again. But, if you're all given choice he knows he'll have to be the one to do it because he wouldn't let you. So, you both stay in your heads until the SUV comes to a sudden stop with an explosion, Jason almost running right into it as the bike swings sideways.

"What the fuck?" Jason yells out.

"Deathstroke. Get down!" They can hear Donna yell through your com systems.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" You groan, ducking into Jason as the sound of constant gunfire echoes around the alley.

Jason looks over at you and for a second, he thinks about leaving. He could get you both out of there completely unscathed. You're hidden behind the SUV and you're not too far into the alleyway. You could take another alley safely, get to Gar. Jason debates it, knowing that with Deathstroke's constant firing, none of you will be able to get close anyway. But, that's backing down and you're supposed to be a team. But, then he come back to you whose grip on him in nearly suffocating and he hears a yelp from in from of you. Jason peaks up to look inside the SUV, seeing Kory's the one who was just shot.

"We have to do something, Jay. We're literally sitting ducks." You yell over the gunfire.

"I know!" Jason yells back and he swears if it weren't for the whole Deathstroke dropping him from a skyscraper problem, he'd have a decision already and you'd both be fine. But, ever since, his head isn't in it and he can't think straight in these situations. The fear of it is almost paralyzing.

"Y/n, Jason, are you two okay?" Dawn yells over the gunfire.

"We're fine." You say back. "Besides the gunfire. What do we do?"

But then, someone jumps from a building and onto the roof the SUV, the gunfire coming to a halt. You and Jason look up to see some random person in a blue and black suit just standing there.

"Who the fuck is this freak now?" Jason sounds absolutely exasperated.

The two of you watch as he flips dramatically and effortlessly off the car.

"You can take the boy out of the circus but you can't take the circus out of the boy." You mutter and you hear Jason chuckle softly, looking back at you.

"Really?"

"He just flipped off the car to Deathstroke, I mean."

Of course, it's Dick. For some reason, that makes perfect sense in the world of insanity you're all currently living in. The two of you flip your face shields up, leaning up to watch through the back of the SUV. Dick starts fighting Deathstroke and holds his own just fine now. Everyone watching is stuck in a state of confusion watching this whole exchange happen. How did Dick even know where to find all of you?

"Who's been hit?" Dick asks.

"Kory." Rachel says.

"You take care of her. I'll take care of him. Jason, Y/n, you two get out of here and get to Gar and Conner. This is my fight." Dick says.

Jason looks back at you and he is not a fan of listening to Dick but, you are sitting ducks back here and at this rate, you'll never make to Gar. So, he puts down his face shield and you follow his lead, gripping his waist tightly before he swings the bike around and peels off in the opposite direction.

When you arrive at the carnival, it's absolute chaos when you get there. Some people are intrigued by a green tiger and others are seeking shelter by leaving or trying to hide out. The two of you spot injured people trying to flee as fast as they can. There’s a sense of unease as you make your way traveling in the direction of the screams. It’s just the two of you, knowing you have to face Gar, your best friend. That’s not something either of you really want to do, ever.

You and Jason spot Gar and Conner from a few yards away. Gar starts attacking Conner, latching onto his arm and Conner is completely unphased. The two of you have a sense of dread. Of course, you knew the report was true. Gar was attacking people but maybe you both had a little bit of hope it wouldn't be this bad. But, for Gar to attack Conner, shit is very not good. And Jason's jaw clenches because he's worried he's too far gone. Gar doesn't eat meat, he doesn't hurt people. And here he is attacking someone who's supposed to be his friend, according to you. And you watch as Conner throws Gar effortlessly twenty yards away and into one of the rides.

"You get Gar." Jason looks at you taking a few steps forward.

One of you is going to need to deal with Gar while the other handles Conner. You can’t solely focus on one of them until the other Titans show up. Jason at least has the experience. And you know about animals.

"Are you insane? He's half Superman." You groan. With Dick showing up and having the other Titans, surely the fight with Deahtstroke can’t take too long and they’ll be here soon.

"Yeah? The fuck you think he's gonna do? Just let Gar go? Not finish him off? You go and I'll distract him."

You shake your head and you hate the idea. You aren't sure how you’re supposed to unbrainwash him. No one exactly prepared you for any of this. And Jason going against Conner sounds terrible. Conner had no issues throwing Gar like a ragdoll and he's at least a tiger and a meta-human. Jason, while he might be Robin, is still just human.

"Look," Jason walks over to you, putting his hands on your shoulders. "Bruce said we need hear traumatic shit to pull us back. That's how he trained us." Jason explains and you want to know who the hell is letting Bruce Wayne train kids? Letting them relive their trauma. "Not sure if it'll fucking work because he should be listening to himself say all that but," Jason shrugs. "Worth a shot." Jason looks over to Conner and then back to you. "If shit gets messy, do something. I trained you, you'll be fine." Jason offers you a smirk that doesn't have the same snarkiness behind it.

"Not me I'm worried about."

"I'm--"

"Robin, yeah, yeah, yeah." You roll your eyes. "Don't do anything fucking stupid, Jay."

Jason gives you a grin, pulling his hands away as he starts walking backwards. "I never do anything stupid."

You nod your head, blinking your eyes slowly at him. He's gonna get his ass handed to him.

You reluctantly let Jason do his thing while you make your way over to Gar. You’re not willing to start telling him stories about the shit he's been through, not without trying something else. If hearing it from himself is supposed to work but not hearing it from you, maybe you telling him good things will work. The opposite.

"Gar?" You kneel down in front of him and you swear your mom is screaming at you from beyond the grave. Tigers are wild animals, not pets and they will eat you. But, this is Gar.

Gar growls at you, lifting his head weakly.

"It's me." You’re cautious. "I know you're in there." You avoid looking directly into his eyes, unsure of how his animal instincts work, especially right now. "Remember when Dick brought me to the tower? You were the first person I talked to and you were so excited because I was watching The Goonies?" You give him a smile. "You brought me pizza. And you, uh, you walked with me around the tower when I thought Jerry was there. Remember when we had a Nerf war against Dick and he got us back? Or that time Jason turned him blue? Or when I beat you at Mario Kart because I messed up your controller? Or when you showed me Resident Evil and you rambled about it for 2 hours.” You let out a soft laugh as you try to think of more things that have happened as quickly as possible.

You aren’t exactly sure what else you’re supposed to tell him, how many things you’re supposed to list. But, he has stopped growling at you.

“You've been there for me through almost every nightmare I've ever had and you were there for me when I completely lost it because of Deathstroke. You're the nicest person I've ever met and you're strong as fuck so I know you're in there somewhere." You scoot closer to him and cautiously and gently, put your hands on either side of his cheeks. The fur is soft under your hands. He growls again but you don't jerk away. "I'm not scared of you. And I know you won’t hurt me." You rest your forehead against his and in tiger form, it feels weird because his head is so much bigger than yours. But, it's soft and warm. "I know you’re in there and I believe in you."

You suck in a breath, closing your eyes. Despite the constant pessimism that seems to be intertwined in your blood, you’re positive this has to be working. He isn’t growling anymore and he’s not trying to eat you. Gar is in there somewhere then, Gar starts to transform back into human form. You can feel his face shift under your hands as you pull away, a gentle and relieved smile pulling at your lips. His eyes flicker at you as a sheepish smile comes to his face. You saved him.

"Hey." You smile widely at him and it's the softest smile you’ve ever given him.

"Thank you." Gar's eyes are tired as he lets out a breath. How did you know to do that?

"You don't have to thank me." You laugh softly. "Here." You pull the backpack off, handing it over. "Grabbed some clothes for you."

"Thank you." Gar lets out an awkward chuckle while you stand up and turn around so he can put the clothes on. He’s surprised you even thought to do that. That you were positive you would be able to get him back and he would need his clothes. Gar will be eternally grateful for you.

"Are you okay?" You ask, still with your back to him. You can't believe it worked and you’re so happy it did. The world is a cruel place, but Gar does not deserve that cruelty.

"Uh..." Gar stutters. Okay? He knows he just hurt several people, he was brainwashed. He is physically in pain. "Yeah."

"Are you lying?" You question, sticking your hands in your hoodie pouch.

"Yeah." Gar clears his throat, walking up to your side. "Just, a little sore." Gar’s voice is low, a little rough and Gar? Not talking about something? That’s new and you do not like that. But, you won’t push because you still have other problems to deal with. That’s a Tower conversation.

You nod your head softly, brows knitting together. “You sure?”

Gar gives you a fake smile. “Yeah, uh, thank you.” Gar furrows his brows, nodding.

"Of course." You nudge him with your arm. "Come on, we should get over there. We can talk at the Tower if you want?"

Gar nods. "Yeah, thank you."

"You'd do the same for me." You interlock your arm with his and the two of you walk, unsteadily towards the other Titans.

"When did Dick get back?" Gar asks, seeing Dick stand near Conner as Rachel uses her powers to encompass them both.

"Love that you're just used to Rachel doing that." You state. "Uh.... twenty minutes ago, apparently. He saved our asses from Deathstroke."

"Deathstroke's back?" Gar groans. What has he missed since being with CADMUS?

"Assume they took care of him since everyone is here now." You shrug. "It's been a few days." You laugh softly. "I'm just glad you're...okay." You smile softly at him before looking back to the Titans, scanning over everyone.

Donna has her rope around Conner while Rachel is using her powers to hold Conner still so he can't move. Rachel has powers surrounding Dick, fully encompassing him. You’re positive you will never get used to that. Dawn, Hank, and Kory are standing behind them, watching. You can feel your heart in your throat until you spot Jason standing a little off to the side of Hank, holding his arm. You let out a breath at the sight of him.

"Jason's back?" Gar questions, seeming to have noticed him at the same time.

"He came back to help." You answer proudly.

"Got the whole team back together." Gar offers a genuine smile.

"Yeah," You feel a warmth in your chest with the idea of everyone sticking around, even if it won’t happen. "All to save you."

Rachel suddenly stops using her powers, releasing Dick and then Conner. Donna releases her rope and Conner seems to be back. He looks around for just a second in horror at the mess. But, then, he looks towards the CADMUS vehicles and starts walking fiercely towards them, you and Gar moving quickly out of his way and towards the others. CADMUS starts firing their guns at Conner which is just a waste since he's literally bulletproof. And none of the Titans are going to stop in to stop him. This is now Conner's fight.

"Nice to have you back, man." Jason gives Gar a nod as he approaches the both of you.

"Thanks for coming back."

"Don't mention it." Jason lets out a scoff, offering you a smile.

"You okay?" You ask, taking a quick glance over him.

"Yeah, all good." Jason nods at you, cocky grin dancing across his lips.

Everyone gathers around as Conner comes back. He stands in front of everyone, getting a better look at the damage caused before he puts the blame on himself. He says it wasn't him but he still did it. Donna is the first one to tell Conner that it's okay and everyone is just glad to have him back.

The people at the carnival then start to come out of hiding, cheering for the Titans. That's a bit surprising but it is kind of nice. Everyone collectively smiles and waves softly. You aren't sure how you feel about it. There's a lot of attention on all of you but it's nice the people appreciate it, rather than hating all of you. You feel a little too exposed but you smile anyway, trying to deal with it because that's what Titans do.

There's a little girl who points out her doll stuck on a ride. Dawn sees the little girl and grabs the doll before walking the doll back to the little girl. But then, everyone hears electricity cackle from above. One of the electric light displays starts to tilt towards Dawn. She rushes as many as she can away, telling everyone to get back before Donna runs and catches the piece of equipment before it falls onto the innocent civilians.

She holds it above her head as it electrocutes her. Every one of you watch in a state of horror, unsure what to do and if any of you can even help. She’s Wondergirl but that doesn’t mean she’s immune to electricity especially that much and for more than just a few seconds. But, there’s nothing any of you can do and after just twenty seconds, Donna goes limp and falls onto the beam.

Dick runs to her and holds her body in his arms. No one says a word, everyone just stands there and watches. How did that kill Wondergirl? Of all things, how? At a carnival? Your heart breaks with the sight and you really liked Donna. You looked up to Donna. Gar hangs his head and you reach down to hold his hand while Jason puts a hand on your shoulder. It's just not fair.

The team goes back to the tower, Hank carrying Donna's body. The tower feels emptier than it ever has before. It's darker than usual, completely silent. It feels like the Reaper is actively looming over the entire Tower, haunting every single one of you. You all lost one of your own tonight, and at a carnival. It wasn't Deathstroke or Dr. Light. Just a piece of electrical equipment that never should have fallen to begin with. And it was Donna. Wondergirl. The reality of it is too heavy for any of you to carry. So, the you all go your separate ways through the tower.

You go off to your room to change and figure you'll check on Gar right after. You’re sad about Donna, despite everything you looked up to her. And it's rough that of all Titans, she's the one killed. And saving people. It hurts through every part of your body and you’re tired of loss. But you focus on Gar because dealing with those feelings isn't something you really want to do. It hurts and when things hurt, you run from them. Avoid them. And Gar just went through something traumatic and now he has to deal with the loss of Donna who he knew a lot better than you did. You focus on your best friend because his feelings about everything just happened are far more important.

Apparently, Jason had the same idea because when you leave your room, Jason was already making his way to Gar's room. Rachel, though, is already leaving Gar's room by the time you join Jason.

"He's not in there." Rachel lets out a sigh.

"Training room?" Jason questions, looking to you.

"Probably." You sigh and the three of you let your bitterness go between each other to find Gar.

The three of you head to the training room where you find Gar sitting alone on one of the benches with his head hung. The three of you pause, your hearts aching for your friend but then move forward. Rachel sits to Gar's left while you sit on his right, Jason standing in front of you. You and Rachel wrap your arms around Gar to hug him while Jason rests his hand on Gar's shoulder. Gar basically collapses into you and Rachel and you both hug him tighter, squeezing him against you to try to offer some type of comfort to the gentle boy who deserved better.

Gar's let out a whimpered cry, Jason giving Gar's shoulder a squeeze and he didn't think he'd see his friend like this. Jason doesn't let people see him as anything less than strong and sturdy, besides you. But, he admires Gar in a way because Gar doesn't really either but he puts on a smile instead of relentless sarcasm. He smiles and then offers kindness and help to others instead of collapsing. There's something admirable in that but he's crying now, breaking and it hurts Jason to see his friend like this.

"It's my fault." Gar lets out a soft whimper.

"It's not your fault." Rachel says quickly.

"None of this is your fault." You assure right after.

"I was the one brainwashed and that got Donna killed." Gar whines while you and Rachel pull away, Jason taking a knee in front of you.

"But, that's not your fault. That's what CADMUS did." Rachel says, her words slow.

"Yeah, that's on CADMUS. Not you." You state.

"CADMUS got her fucking killed, not you, man." Jason assures him.

"But she died because I didn't call Bruce about Conner."

"Look, I said it then and I'm gonna say it again, you did what you thought was best. None of this is on you." You state, getting a look of confusion between Jason and Rachel. Call Bruce? "Bruce probably wouldn't have showed up in time anyway and all this shit would have happened. Not on you."

"Yeah..." Rachel nods in agreement, unsure of what any of that means but is certain none of this could possibly be Gar's fault.

"It's not fair." Gar's voice is so small.

"It's not." Jason shakes his head. "It's fucking bullshit. But, that's not your fault." Jason lets out a sigh. Jason has no idea how to offer comfort to anyone besides you. One of the only people he’s ever been good with is you but, he does know that escapism is Gar’s thing. He likes movies and he likes video games. Jason can’t offer comforting words, but he can offer a movie. "Hey, man, why don't we go...watch one of your movies or something? Like we used to." Jason offers and the offer caches all three of you off guard but you and Rachel say nothing, instead you wait for Gar to talk.

"Not really feeling it, Jason." Gar lets out a huff.

"So?" You quip. "You like movies and you don't deserve to drown yourself in the guilt of everything that's not your fault."

"Exactly. I can make us popcorn and order from that pizza place you like." Rachel offers Gar a gentle smile and you let the anger for Rachel fade just a little. You’re not sure what was up Rachel's ass last night, but she does care about Gar and it's very obvious now.

"Come on, man." Jason groans and gives Gar a grin. "All of us getting along, watching something again?"

Gar lets out a weak laugh, you and Rachel smiling softly at each other. "Okay, okay, yeah." Gar nods with agreement.

Jason smiles proudly, getting to his feet and offering Gar his hand. Gar takes his hand and stands up.

"Uh, can you guys give us a second? We'll meet you out there." Rachel asks, Sam snapping her attention to her.

Jason eyes the two of you suspiciously, not sure if leaving you both alone is the best thing to do but he nods anyway and Gar smiles softly, leaving with Jason.

"I wanted to talk to you." Rachel sucks in a breath.

With everything that's happened tonight, Rachel wants to get everything out in the open and squash everything. It's been bothering her a little bit since last night. Rachel never had many friends. This is the first time, she has more than one and it sucks fighting. Even if she knows her own feelings were valid, she knows yours were, too. So, she'd rather get it over with now rather than wait.

"I gathered." You nod your head.

"I'm sorry for what I said last night."

The apology catches you by surprise but you’re glad this is where this conversation is going. "Yeah...me, too." You swallow your pride and honestly, life is too fucking short. At the end of the day, you're in this together. You're Titans, together. Doesn't matter where you are or if you get along, you're in it together.

"I was...Dick is like an older brother and the dreams make everything feel so real and sometimes it is. Not having dreams about Gar, made me think he was okay. But, with Dick..."

"It felt like he really was in more danger?"

"Yeah, it was never that I was choosing between them or that I don't care about Gar."

"I know." You nod your head quickly. "I was just so mad about everything. I mean, I'm still dealing with Deathstroke shit and honestly, maybe I was a little...” You scrunch your nose. “Hurt that Jason left...with Rose. Then, getting attacked, not feeling good enough again. I took a lot of that out on you because I was still mad at you for Jason."

"I should have talked to him. I never meant for him to spiral like that. I didn't think the other Titans had stuff going on. It was just me and I thought it had to be him." Rachel admits and truly, she never dreamed Jason was in that bad of a headspace. Rachel can explode just like everyone else, but she’s not cruel.

"I just wish you would have listened to me at least. Jason, fine, I get that, but we're supposed to be friends so. I just...I was mad. And...." You pause. "Scared, honestly. Jason wasn't answering me, Gar was kidnapped and hurt. Those...they both mean a lot to me and it was a lot."

"We were both just scared for everyone."

"Yeah," You laugh softly. "I am...sorry I punched you. Especially hearing this side of it. Give you shit for not hearing Jason out only for me not to offer you that kindness. I'm sorry."

"Thank you." Rachel smiles softly. "I will apologize to him, too."

You smile kindly. "Thank you. He'll probably yell at you but I'm serious, just let him yell." You scrunch your nose. "He'll be fine after he yells." You laugh softly.

"I will." Rachel assures you.

"Hey, he's leaving anyway so...it won't be too bad."

Rachel's face falls. "He's leaving?"

You nod sadly. "Mhm, he's only here for Gar and then he's gone. Back to Gotham, back to Bruce."

"Are you okay? I know what I said but..." Rachel offers a sympathetic look.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." You give her a fake smile and you decide not to tell Rachel.

You’re willing to move on from everything, especially if she apologizes to Jason. You were both just stressed and scared and worried. It was a lot for the both of you. But a part of you is a little worried that if you tell Rachel, she might tell Gar before you can. You know you’re going to stay here for at least a little bit to make sure he's okay and you aren't sure when you'll tell him. You don't want Rachel thinking you’re withholding the information on purpose or Rachel accidentally letting it slip. So, you sit on it and assure Rachel you’re okay.

"We're all good and I know Gotham is his home."

"Okay, if you want to talk.." Rachel smiles softly.

"Thank you. I'm sorry again for all of that shit. Are we okay?"

Rachel leans forward, pulling you in for a hug and you freeze for a second. And then you hug Rachel back.

"Yeah, we're okay." Rachel pulls away and gets up, offering you her hand. "Let's see what movie Gar picked."

The two of you make your way to the living room where you see Gar and Jason seated on the couch, an open space between them. Dick is just walking in with two bowls of popcorn, Kory holding a few drinks. You and Rachel look between each other before giving the older Titans soft smiles and taking your rightful seats on either side of Gar. Conner and Krypto are next to join as Gar scrolls through the movies and lands on one he's seen a handful of times.

"What are we watching, Gar?" Dick asks, passing one of the bowls down the couch to younger Titans.

"Ready Player One." Gar offers a soft smile as clicks the movie, the room not knowing anything about it.

"Spielberg, come on guys." You look around.

"That explains absolutely fucking nothing." Jason chuckles with the shake of his head.

"It's a video game movie, kind of." Gar explains, clicking the movie.

"That makes sense." Kory laughs softly.

Gar turns on the movie with a soft smile and the room falls silent. Dick and Kory saw Jason and Gar walk in, plopping on the couch. When they asked what they were doing and Gar said watching a movie, they offered to join. Dick would join every once in a while anyway and he just lost his best friend tonight. It was more so Kory's idea but Dick went along with it. The four of you are still his responsibility and maybe this isn't such a bad idea.

"What's going on?" Hank asks about half an hour into the movie, Dawn right at his side as they see the living room filled with Titans.

"We're watching a movie." Kory offers him a smile. "A video game movie."

Gar offers Hank a smile, the indicator it was clearly his choice. Hank chuckles softly while Dawn reaches down for his hand and walks the two of them into the living room to join the group of you, picking up two of the only open spots left.

The room falls silent as the movie plays, the new Titans sharing a bowl of popcorn (and maybe tossing a piece to Krypto every now and again). Gar explains every movie reference that shows up to everyone who hasn’t seen it which is almost always Jason and Kory. All of you just let Gar explain it and hear him get excited again, and for that short time during the movie, the grief of losing Donna doesn’t hurt so much. For that two and a half hours, you all live in peace with each other and every one of you needed it.

Two days later, the entire team meets up at a private airport, everyone dressed in black. You’re all sending Donna off in a casket back to Themyscira and her people have come to take her back. To say it was depressing would be an understatement. It was hard for every single one of you. Despite any problems the Titans had, Donna meant a lot to all of you and it's agonizing officially saying goodbye. And that's when Rachel decided to tell everyone she'd be going with. She wants to try and resurrect her. Something in her believes she has the power to do it, or at the very least try. You find it admirable.

Bruce flew in to see Donna off, too. And Rose showed up at the tower the day before, wanting to try out being a Titan for a little bit until she figures out what she really wants to do. Especially with having Jericho's consciousness. That was a little awkward for Jason and you. But it was nice seeing Bruce show up and maybe he's not all too bad. He gave you a pair of gloves when he showed up, explaining Jason and Gar had called him with the idea. Made with zylon fibers. Not only was it nice of those boys, but it was really nice of Bruce to go out of his way to do that.

Everyone got to be Titans that night, too. There was an alert of a problem happening and everyone, one by one, got up from the table to get suited up (or changed) and head out to fight for the first time as a full team. It went off without a hitch, too. You were a large team and it felt so good to be out there, doing exactly what the Titans are supposed to be doing. Saving and protecting people who cannot do it themselves.

Jason and Bruce flew out the following day. Saying goodbye to Jason, this time, didn't hurt nearly as much. You knew you'd be back in Gotham soon enough and he wasn't leaving over horrible circumstances. He wasn't leaving because he felt like he had to anymore, as if it was forced on him. It was a little sad, but you both knew it was not permanent.

Within a few days, you get a call from Jason giving you the all good. Bruce said you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. You said you wanted to give it a little longer, to make sure Gar is okay especially with Rachel leaving. Dawn and Hank also were very clear on them not staying very long. So, you owe it to him to make sure he's okay before you take off, too. He won't be alone this time. He'll have Dick, Kory, Conner, and Krypto but you owe him.

Over the next month, you hang around Gar, making sure he’s okay. At first, it was his turn to suffer from nightmares about being brainwashed and killing the Titans. Those were rough nights but Gar is resilient and he talks. He talks through all of it then escapes into video games until he’s ready to talk again. The whole time you offer him the listening ear, and assure him that everything was CADMUS’s fault. The talking and video games and friendship helps. Gar picks himself up pretty quickly, swinging back into the routine of things and it helps that you’re all actually being Titans now. You’re actually accomplishing missions and working together which is making everyone feel useful for once.

And over that month of being there for Gar, you feel yourself deteriorating. It’s easy to avoid feelings and problems and trauma when you’re focused on someone or something else. But, Gar gets better and you get worse. It’s as if your flight or fight has been kicked into overdrive the whole time but now with things getting, somewhat back to normal, it’s crashing.

The nightmares are consistent and at this point, you swear you’ll never get a full night’s rest ever again. The paranoia is back, more so than it was even with Jerry. The attack on the tower made it feel not safe. Even with the other Titans around, it doesn’t feel safe anymore because that bubble was popped. You weren’t the one kidnapped that time, but it lingers in the depths of your mind anyway and you’re always waiting for something like that to happen again, looking over your shoulder. So, you don’t sleep for more than two to three hours and you train. You’re always found either with Gar or in the training room running yourself to the ground. And you know that with Gar doing okay, it’s time because you can’t live like this anymore and there’s a place for you Gotham.

The problem is that you definitely haven't told anyone. Every day, you swore you would do it. You'd get up the courage to do it. And instead, you'd train and avoid it. You'd dodge questions about Jason. You'd bury yourself in your scrapbook. The idea of telling them, wasn't a good one. You ran from the conversation but, you can't do that anymore and you know you can't. So, you find yourself in the display room, trying to muster up the courage to tell Dick and Gar.

Dick walks in and he's had a suspicion. He's seen that look before. He has worn that look when he decided to leave Gotham and go to Detroit. You’ve been a bit spacey lately, too and at first, he thought it was everything that happened. You’ve been the main person looking after Gar but he watched the security footage back. He knows you were attacked and fought just as hard. You lost Donna, too. But, as the days went by, something seemed off. Dick is a detective and since finally coming to clean about Jericho, his head is far more clear and he's picking up on a lot of things a lot better. You haven't done anything new to your room or asked for anything. You’ve picked up extra chores and then there’s the training. Dick just knows.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Dick asks, standing beside you, keeping his stare at the displays.

You turn your head, the sad smile growing as you nod. You aren't going to lie. You need to tell him and he figured it out but it hurts to confirm it anyway. "Yeah, I am."

Dick nods, his expression sad as he looks at you "Can I ask where?"

"You've gotten a little better at asking things, Dick Grayson." Your voice is soft but holds your signature sarcasm. You shake your head, sticking your hands in the pouch of your hoodie before sucking in a breath. "Gotham." You look to your shoes, knowing you can end the conversation here but decide to try not to run from this one thing. You owe Dick that much. "It's home, ya know?" You look up at Dick and he nods.

"Yeah," His voice is understanding as he puts his hands in his pockets. "But, it doesn't have to be."

"I know." You answer. "But..." You pause, looking back to the display columns. You love to give him shit because he makes it easy and he’s he oldest. He’s basically everyone’s older brother. But, you owe him the explanation because he has done a good job here, especially after confessing the stuff about Jericho. You never want him to think you leaving is because he failed or something. "Um...a-a lot happened here, this Tower, this city. It’s a lot for me and I don’t know if I can handle dealing with all of that here. Gotham though, it might be a mess, but it’s home. I was happy there.” You let out a scoff, chewing the inside of your cheek. “More shit just keeps happening here and I need to find that part of myself that can be happy despite the bullshit. I don’t think I can find that here. I left some of myself in Gotham and I just want to see if I can find some of that again, get over some of this shit. I don’t know.” You shrug your shoulders. “Gotham is home, probably always will be and I...wanna go home.”

"I understand." Dick's voice is quiet and he's sad to see your leave but he understands. Finding himself was the hardest thing he ever did but it was worth it. He doesn't like the idea of you going to Gotham, not with what Gotham does to people but if it's what you need to do, he can't stand in your way. "Where are you gonna stay?"

You give him a dry chuckle. "With Bruce and Jason." You shake your head again as you roll your eyes. "I understand the irony in that."

"Jason pull some strings?" Dick is a little relieved that you won’t be homeless in Gotham, not he ever thought Jason would let you.

"Mhm." You hum. You don't want to get into it. Dick does not want to hear about that one.

"Have you told Gar?"

You shake your head and the very mention of his name makes you want to run out of the display room and away from this conversation. "No. I will." You say quickly. "You just asked first."

"Tell him soon." Dick says. He has a lot to say but he doesn't want to sway your decision or guilt you about it. He took you in, took Rachel in, and he’s watching you both go off on your own to do your own thing. Maybe he’s a little proud, too.

"I will when we're done." You let out a deep breath. You turn to face him completely this time and you hate to admit, but you'll miss him. "Thank you for letting me be a Titan."

The corner of Dick's lips tugs into a sad smile. "You'll always have a place as a Titan, okay?"

You nod. "So, I can come back when I figure my shit out?" You hope one day you’ll want to. You do like being a Titan, using your powers for good. But for now, it’s not healthy for you.

"Of course." Dick smiles at you. "Go talk to Gar." Dick sucks in a breath and he's let so many people down. He's let you guys down and he won't do that again. "Hey, be careful, okay?"

"Because Jason." You state and the two of them actually worked out some of their shit while Jason was here. Dick actually apologized but you suspect that's what he means anyway because Dick will always think Jason is reckless and impulsive and a bad influence.

Dick shakes his head. "You two have that figured out." Dick lets out a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck and you raise a brow at him. "With Bruce."

You offer a singular, large nod. "I will, I see how you and Jason turned out. You don't have to worry. If...shit hits the fan though...I can call, right?"

"Of course. We'll all be there."

"Thank you. I'm gonna go talk to Gar." You turn to leave. "Hey," You turn back around. "Keep doing this, you're getting a lot better at it."

You head to Gar's room next, deciding to rip the band-aid off. You do feel a little better after talking with Dick. It didn't go terribly wrong which means it should be okay with Gar. You knock on his door quickly, before walking inside. Gar is sat on his couch playing Resident Evil and he looks over his shoulder quickly, offering you a kind smile. The guilt floods back into your blood like a dam's just broken. He looks so happy and content and you’re about to break this to him.

"Hey." You say quietly, taking a seat beside him.

"Hey." He offers you a smile, pausing his game. "What's up?"

"Um..." Your brows furrow as you tug your sleeves over your hands. The action does not go unnoticed and Gar knows something’s up. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Is everything okay?" Gar asks, hesitance in his voice.

"I-I, uh, I'm....leaving." You get the words out but it feels like your vocal cords are short-circuiting.

It's as if Gar can feel the last of his heart breaking. Everyone is leaving and he's gonna be left here. Sure, he has Dick and Conner and Kory and Krypto but...what about everyone else? His best friends?

"Why?" He asks, his voice cracking.

"I....I-I-I I just....I need to figure out who I am now. I'm....not...I'm not who I was before and..." You choke down the lump of guilt clogging on your throat. "I need to go back to Gotham and find me and....just figure out my fucking shit."

"Why can't you do that here?" He asks and he's so sad, you can see it in the way his eyes dodge yours

You shake your head, offering him full transparency. "I fucked up. I couldn't save Jason and me. I have these powers and they were fucking useless. I couldn't talk him out of it, hell, I went along with it. I never would have done that before. But...I felt like I had something to prove to myself. That I'm strong and I'm not as weak as Jerry made me feel but then I was dropped from a fucking skyscraper with my best friend and we almost died. And then........." You keep your eyes on him because if you’re going to do this, you owe him that. "CADMUS attacked and I couldn't save any of us, or myself." You scoff. "Then, Donna." You shake your head. "I just feel useless and not good enough and...scared. I'm so sick feeling that way and running myself right into the ground over it. I never had healthy coping mechanisms but..." You suck in a deep breath. "I don't sleep and I train all the time. I need to leave and get away from the this city, figure out who I am outside of a Titan because I was thrown into this. I chose it, but thrown into it and I need to just get away for a little bit. Gotham is a shitshow, but it's fucking home."

"Gotham?" Of course, it's Gotham. Where else would you go? But, it hurts anyway. That's literally across the country.

"I know." You nods softly. "It's....it is my home, Gar. I was born there and raised there for almost my entire life. My mom is buried there. I need to go back. It's....I always felt like I belonged there"

He nods, not knowing what else to say. He won't convince you to stay, it's not him. He respects you and your decision even though it hurts. Even though he's upset. It hurts. Everyone is leaving again.

"You're not useless." Gar gets out. "And you are good enough. I know you don't believe it but it's true."

You nod. "Yeah, it just doesn't feel like it and I need to not feel like this anymore."

"I understand." Gar offers a solemn nod.

"I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry." Gar forces a sad smile to his face. "It's what's best for you. If it's going to make you happy, it's the right thing to do."

"Thank you." You swear you have no idea what you did to deserve his friendship.

"Where are you gonna stay?"

You let out a soft laugh. "That's the irony. With fucking Bruce Wayne and Jason, of course."

"You're gonna live with Batman?" Gar's eyes widen and it makes you laugh.

"Mhm, can you believe it?"

"Do...do you think you'll see the Batcave?"

Your nose scrunches as you lets out a laugh. Of course, that's what Gar is interested in. "I hadn't thought about it, Gar."

"It's Batman's Manor." Gar's eyes are wide with excitement.

"If I see the Batcave, I'll let you know." You shake your head. "You could come visit and you're a Titan so like...maybe you'd convince Bruce to show you anyway."

"That'd be so cool." Gar beams.

"I kind of just wanna throw a Baterang."

"You would." Gar chuckles softly. "Jason though." Gar shakes his head and he's also kind of waiting to see when that's gonna happen. He's pretty sure everyone kind of is at this point.

"One of the free perks of living with Bruce Wayne." You state and Gar groans. "What?"

"Nothing." Gar shakes his head. You and Jason will figure it out. "When do you leave?"

You offer him a yikes expression before giving him an awkward smile. "Two days."

"You waited until now to tell me?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna try to work on that. I was scared." You shrug. "It seems easier not to tell you."

"You can always tell me things."

"I know." You let out a soft laugh. "Did...you wanna play some Mario Kart though? We have two days to still play." You’re ready to be done having the conversation. It’s not easy for either of you and you’d rather be enjoying the time you have left rather than talking about it.

Gar lets out a laugh, a toothy smile landing on his lips. "Okay, yeah, grab the controllers." Gar states, saving his game while you grab the controllers from the switch.

It's gonna be weird not having you around. But, Gar understands it's what's best for you. He'll never stand in your way just like he didn't with Rachel or Jason or anyone else that's left. If he's learned anything, it's that the Titans do come back together eventually. Gar has hope you'll be back so he'll enjoy your last two days like he has been.

The next two days go by in a blur and soon enough, it's time for you to leave. You look around your room with a backpack on your shoulders. You give the room a sad smile and you swear you'll be back one day. You do love being a Titan but you need to figure you out now. It's time and you'll be back one day. So, you walk towards the door and close it behind you.

You walk out into the kitchen where Dick, Kory, Gar, Conner, and Krypto are seated around. You offer them all a sad smile. Kory is the first to say goodbye, offering you a hug and telling you not to get into too much trouble. Conner is next, also offering a hug and saying it was nice getting to know you. You make him promise to send you Krypto updates. Gar is next and he wraps you in the tightest hug he's ever given you.

"You'll keep in touch right?" Gar pulls away, eyes sad but filled with hope.

"Of course." You laugh softly. "You're my best friend, always." You flash him a toothy smile

"Good because I'm really gonna miss you."

"I’m gonna miss you, too. I'm just a phone call and flight away." You assure him. "Come visit."

"Will do." Gar offers you a sheepish nod, stepping back so Dick can say goodbye.

Dick stands in front of you and offer you a handshake.

"So fucking professional. You know, you took me in for no reason at all."

"You were injured."

"Yeah, but you could have brought me to a hospital." You quip. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Dick." This is the most sincere you’ve ever been with Dick. "Thank you for looking out for me and saving my life, more than once. One hundred points for you." A confident smile comes to your lips.

Dick lets out a laugh. "You were really keeping a point system?"

"Well, I was joking but you seemed so surprised, I needed to commit to the bit. So, congrats on your win."

"Thank you." Dick's eyes widen with sarcasm.

You close the distance between you and hug him. It catches Dick off guard but he hugs you back.

"Listen to Kory, don't get into too much trouble."

"Have no worry, Dickolas. I've grown." You say as you pull away.

"You have." Dick nods at you.

"Well, I'll be back and I'll keep in touch." You offer all of them a last smile before walking over to Gar and giving him one final and long hug. You'll miss him the most.

You pet Krypto and give him a kiss before you head to the elevator. Everyone heads to the hallway to watch you leave and the doors shut. This is it, you’re really going home. After over a year, you’re finally going back home and it might be a little bittersweet but you’re so happy. Gotham is a shit show but it will always be home. You miss it.

You exit the building and right outside, there stands Jason with his motorcycle, one helmet on the bike and the other in his hand. He gives you a wide grin. He didn't tell you he was coming. You were given the address for the private landing strip where Bruce would send his private jet to pick you up. You were okay with that actually, just some time to be alone. But now you’re looking at Jason you’re so relieved to see him.

"Miss me?" Jason quips as you get closer.

You scrunch your nose, shrugging your shoulder. "Nope, not even a little bit."

"Alright, fuck you." Jason chuckles, looking to the ground and then back to you. Maybe this has been the longest month of his life.

"I don't think Bruce would appreciate us joining the mile-high club in his jet." You quip, Jason gaining the devious smirk that makes fireworks explode through your heart.

"He doesn't have to know." Jason quips right back.

"No!" You shake your head, a booming laugh escaping your lips. "Shut the fuck up." You close the distance between you, bringing him into a hug and you didn't think he'd actually come just to fly back to Gotham. But, you’re so happy he did. "You didn't have to come. I could have flown alone." You pull away, the biggest smile Jason has ever seen splits your face.

Jason shrugs. "Yeah, but that's not very fun. Thought you'd like some company."

"Thank you, Jay."

"Anytime, babe." Jason hands you a helmet.

"Can't just take an Uber like a normal person?" You quip while the two of you get on the bike. You put the helmet on while Jason gets ready.

"Nope, this is faster." Jason taunts you, looking back at you.

"Okay, Fast and The Furious." You roll your eyes as Jason slides his face shield down.

"Ready to go home?" Jason asks, looking back at you.

"Hell yeah." You slide your own face shield down, wrapping your arms around him before Jason kicks it into first.

The city goes by in a blur as Jason zips between traffic and you have a smile under your helmet. Every piece of you that might have been second-guessing this decision washes away. You’re going home and having Jason be the one that's there, makes the whole experience a little bit better. And you’re so excited to get back to Gotham, see what it will bring you this time around. And Jason is thrilled to be bringing you back home. It'll just be the two of you in Gotham. No Titans, no Deathstroke. Just you. It's you and him.

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A/N: Book 1: Okay hi, so I know I skipped over quite a bit but this was already so long lmao and I didn’t wanna break it up. If y’all want an exert from anything I skipped over, just let me know!! Thank you guys again for reading. It truly means SO much to me 😭

Book 2: First of all, I get to the point EARLY in book 2, I promise!!!!! I literally have that already written lol Chapter 1 of book 2 will be out in 2 weeks!! I’ll try to stay posting on Wednesday/Thursdays!! Book 2 also follows canon pretty closely so look forward to that angst lol But, yeah I’ll be part with chapters in 2 weeks!! Thank you guys!! 😭

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @anthemabby // @baebeepeach

#gar logan #jason todd #gar logan x reader #garfield logan x reader #jason todd x reader #gar logan fanfic #gar logan fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #caving in

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oceanwithouthermoon · 6 months

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the way i have absolutely flooded the kubosai tag is crazy😭most of the recent posts are mine.. my bad..

... anyway, im thinking about kuboyasu picking up different hobbies as a form of anger management, teaching himself coping mechanisms and to use his hands in more gentle ways and let himself make mistakes without taking his anger out in unhealthy ways..

knitting, crocheting, art (he already draws but he wants to do it more and start painting n stuff too), or even scrapbooking or journaling ?? he also already stress bakes/cooks lol.

and since he does it so much, he has so many little pieces of art and he ends up gifting most of them to saiki.. because kubo thinks theyre crappy, but saikis eyes lit up in a way kubo doesnt get to see often when he caught sight of kubos crocheted little pink cat with a suspiciously saiki-like grimace on his face.

so now saiki has all kinds of little knitted/crocheted blankets, pillow cases, stuffed animals, gloves, sweaters, etc. (he made a lot of scarves, bags, hats, coasters, etc. at first since those are easier for beginners, and at first he was keeping them for himself and his mom but the house has too many damn coasters and they do not need that many accessories and sweaters.. so the whole friend group started getting them, but mostly saiki.. and saikis mom started receiving some too).

and little paintings of cats (because kubo definitely loves cats but also saiki just reminds him of one so he draws/paints them for him a lot.. he doesn't know if saiki actually likes them, but he says he doesnt mind so..) and some cute paintings of their friends.. he makes a lot of vent art but saiki obviously does not receive that stuff☠️.

he also tried to learn yoga.. but he learns quickly that he just isnt very good at keeping his hands still and unoccupied for too long.. he might revisit that later, but for now hes just trying to at least learn slow and calculated motions with his hands..

he probably also starts helping kusuo and kurumi with their gardening (because they definitely have a garden). i doubt arens mom has a garden but i bet he could convince her to help him start one after enjoying it with the saikis so much.

the scrapbooking/journaling he mostly keeps to himself.. its mostly pictures of him and his mom, his friends, and him trying to document his feelings in messy pages of writing/doodles/choas..

i love the idea that he starts collecting stickers+fun pens+washi tape to use, which is something he totally would not normally fixate on but he starts getting really excited about it..

tbh it's probably mostly silly stickers from anime he likes, like one piece and dragonball.. a lot of his other interests like the yakuza movies wouldnt have stickers he could get so he just doodles the characters.

but he starts branching out into sillier and more colorful stuff, mostly thanks to chiyo, kokomi, kusuo, and shun. chiyo+kokomi have lots of girly stickers and glitter pens that they give him when they catch wind of the journaling..shun has lots of silly stickers from comic books and theres a surprising amount of harley quinn+poison ivy along with the mcu stuff(mostly spiderman).

chiyo+kusuo have like vocaloid+prosekai stickers, but kusuo mostly is just the reason aren has lots of bright pink+green on a lot of his pages hehe..

anyway, a lot of the gifts he gives to kusuo start getting really.. obvious ? he once gives him this crocheted pink cat with a blank expression and a purple dog whose taller and smiling, both wearing glasses, that are permanently knitted together holding hands☠️and kusuo just.. accepts it. and a lot of the stuff he receives along with their other friends are suspiciously more detailed than everyone elses and there are a lot of hearts and the cat+dog thing becomes a frequent motif and theres so many coffee jelly stuffies and keychains its insane

shun will get like.. a black and red sweater, meanwhile kusuo gets a purple sweater covered in pink hearts+matching gloves+a scarf+socks+a tote bag+a headband ??? aren are ur hands okay seriously

kusuo keeps every single gift obviously, and the first dog+cat plushies along with some other gifts are on his desk so he can look at them literally all the time..

yet somehow they arent dating yet😭aren basically professed his undying love with all the hearts and romantic ass offerings but neither of them have really said anything out loud yet☠️☠️

#i know this is a lot of different stuff but i feel like thats also what he wants.. to keep himself and his hands busy #prob also has to get a job during this time to fund all his hobbies PLUS his bike fix ups #kusuo does wear the silly cutesy clothes aren gives him but not very often because its.. embarrassing.. but still cute #he wears that zebra cardigan and is fine and likes it but is also a little self conscious and this would prob be the same #aren probably calms down and starts making more normal (but still gay as fuck) stuff for him after the initial wave of his new obsession #this is a really long post for right after i said i post them too much #so sorry for the long post i thought about this for a long time #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #kuboyasu aren #kubosai #meows post

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starcrossed-sky · 7 months

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(prev anon) interesting. faces are weird to me lol. i can recognize people but i have a hard time perceiving and comparing individual features. whenever my mom pointed at some distant cousin during a family reunion and said to me, "she has her father's eyes, don't you agree?" or pointed at a celebrity while watching tv and said, "he looks like [actor], right?" i was always confused. my brain just stores someone's whole face and tags it with their name so i remember them when i see them, but it's hard to pick out specific features or conjure them up on command.

the thing i'm worst at visualizing and recalling though has to be patterns and colors. in my bedroom there's a spare bedframe with yellow, blue, and grey stripes in a certain pattern, and i see it every day. if i were allowed to look at it for 5 seconds and then asked to close my eyes and recall the pattern, i couldn't. my mind would conjure the image of the bedframe with the colors kind-of there but also kind-of not. in order to recall the pattern, i have to keep a verbal record that it's "yellow, light grey, blue, dark grey, repeat." and despite having that, i'm still unable to use that record to edit the vague image of the bedframe and its undefined color pattern.

i was also really bad at those "flatten/unflatten the box. which patterned side should be on top?" problems you'd get in school aptitude tests for this same reason lol.

when reading books (fiction), i have a hard time keeping up with detailed visual descriptions, since each new detail mentioned just replaces the last one in my mind (if my mind can display it at all due to my limited visual memory bank) and there never ends up being a whole or coherent picture of the scene of any kind. this might be why i never felt particularly drawn to original fiction, but read fanfic just fine (source media provides me with a rich relevant visual bank for enjoying what i read). still, i find it much easier to read and write more psychologically focused stuff that centers internal character pondering, feelings, etc. since it doesn't require any extra strenuous swatch management.

i've heard of aphantasia before, a handful of times. i think the first time was through a youtube video by some artist who has the "full" version of it, describing their experience. i didn't know it was a spectrum then, so i thought "well, visualizing is hard, but my mind isn't a total blackout like theirs." and moved on. but turns out there's more to the it than that 🤔

Yeah, it's definitely a spectrum, and it's a spotty one. Colors are actually the thing I'm best at visualizing (in the most literal, visual sense). I was really good at the box tests (still am tbh) and other rotational tasks, which is why i was so mad at that initial post - "how many windows are on your house" is a rotational task for me.

There is in fact so much more to it! Visual aphantasia gets most of the attention but you can be aphantasiac in any sense, for example, and it's not always even. I have no aphtansia in my tactile senses for example.

#knees anon

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wren-kitchens · 1 year

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I'd be down for listening to the actors AU thing, please tell! /gen o3o

okay a couple people asked so here you go! (it is Very Long so brace yourself lmao)

so basically in this au, empires is originally a book series, that is being made into a show (s2 isnt a part of this rn because when i came up with the idea it wasnt a thing but it might be added later idk)

hermitcraft is a long-running tv show, currently on season 8 and are sometimes filming in similar locations to the empires crew so theres a bit of crossover between them

its gonna be lizzie/joel/jimmy/scott centric because i didnt really watch anyone else lmao

the actors!

lizzie and joel: they are relatively famous actors, who have been seen in a few things, quite often but not together. they are married in real life, and when the cast for the empires show get released everyone is extremely excited because theyre both perfect for the parts and are gonna get married in the show

jimmy: not as well known beforethe casting got released - was in evo ab 5 years ago, which is getting more popular due to the empires show coming out. good friends with joel and lizzie

scott: pretty famous on account of being in too many films and tv shows to list, also good friends with joel and lizzie (and like a million other people) but has not met jimmy yet. (and is almost immediately smitten when he does cough cough)

pixl: has a youtube channel corun with zloy and lyarrah about the hermitcraft show, which all of the actors for hermitcraft know about and love - everyone is very excited when the filming locations for hc and empires cross over

plot! (in general lol)

i have no idea what any of the specifics are but i have a few bullet points for what i want to include

lizzie, jimmy, xornoth and scott all make a club for the most elaborate costumes (mainly later in the season where theyre fish gods, demons and covered in ice)

hermitcraft members also have elaborate costumes (again esp later in the season because of the whole mooner thing) and when theyre filming close together, theyll all go out for dinner in their costumes and completely baffle the regular people in the restaraunt

scott is gay panicking whenever hes around jimmy, which is chalked up to amazing acting by everyone but joel and lizzie who know exactly whats going on

by the time they act the date scene, both jimmy and scott are crushing hopelessly on each other, and it turns into one of the most emotionally charged scenes in the whole show because of this

when they travel to a beach for the 'would you still love me if i was a fish?' scene they all have a beach day

i also want to edit some of the actual plot of empires (cause thats what happens with books bein turned into tv) for instance, jimmy finds scott's body after the whole xornoth incident and its like 10x angstier and all the fans love it

anyway yeah! if i ever get round to it ill probably write a couple oneshots because thats easier than a full longfic. if anyone wants to draw/write something for it please tag me!

#empires smp #empires au #empires smp season 1 #hoax writes #hoax's empires au #because theres probably a few other actor aus

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isabelguerra · 6 months

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okok happy birthday I really want to know more wizard au stuff but I cannot find your fics pls a link would be much appreciated

also this is just like a free space to talk abt your au literally whatever you've been wanting an excuse for this anon is 4 you happy birthday my friend !!! we're not mutuals but you're like one of two regular pnat people on tumblr which is a bond I Think

THANK YOUUU FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!! 💕💕 If it makes you feel better I’m not mutuals with ANYONE. This is a sideblog. Regardless it’s nice to have you here, I’m glad to be one of your few pnat blogs. :)

AND WELL LOL that would be because most of wizard au currently isn’t published! the best place to know more stuff about the au is either in my #wizard au tag, or just asking me! i love to talk about it, and right now it’s a lot easier for me to answer asks in my spare moments. i occasionally post screenshots from my doc files on here, but the fics are taking a backseat while I work on my Job Project.

Alternatively, you can check out:

The Pnat At Wizard School AU I Made When I Was 16 Is Still Fun Unfortunately JKR DNI - This was my first attempt at publishing the writing I’d done, before I got embarrassed and orphaned it, back in 2020. It’s a little outdated but most of it holds up. Boggart fic is one of my favorites.

Pnat Hogwarts AU by Twilighteve. I made wizard AU way back in 2015 with a friend, and twilighteve wrote SEVEN FICS as fanwork. The story now is different and follows Isabel rather than Max, but these are still great fics and I’m very lucky to have had someone enjoy my au enough to write so much for them. Throughout the Tournament is a really fun read.

i cant believe i’ve had this story for like 8 years at this point. i think it’s almost more fun to have as an au on my blog than an actual fic series? looking back whenever i start thinking about The Fics i just get stressed out. i’ve had it as an au since 2015 and i’ve had writing wips since 2018. its nice to have something with me for that long, i think thats why i keep coming back to it? even though thinking about it in terms of Fic Output and Writing Order makes me so stressed. at the end of the day it’s mine. and it’s there for be an outlet for me. if i want to be lazy about it, i can. if i want to put a lot of hard work into it, i can. i get to cozy up before bed and imagine wizjo scenarios.

and seeing how the characters have developed over the years has been weird- like, i wrote a lot of this in 2015. what do you MEAN codys a vampire. what do you MEAN theres whole new areas of the paranormal. its funny but when put next to current pnat you can REALLY see how its dated lol. so much is built on top of the 2015-2016 era headcanons like cody & lisa being twins, or not knowing what the spirit in isabels umbrella was like. we didnt know flipflop yet!!!! hes just not in there!!!!! we didnt know what the BERG was so max isnt a catboy!!! davy doesnt exist!!!!!!!

and there are in-comic background characters that we would talk about and gave names who show up in the au. these two are chasers on the gryffindor quidditch team with isabel & johnny:

& we named them sarah and logan. that might canonically be their names too????? but i cant remember.

Here are some very practical Wizard AU facts:

Story spans from 2nd year when Isabel loses Eightfold to 7th(?) year when they graduate

The biggest reason so much isn’t on AO3 is because theres so much I have no idea how to organize it. For example:

At my current pace, I have ~5 fics based on central emotional beats. In order to keep things interesting for non-izjo readers, I tried adding a little overarching plot

Said plot now vastly overshadows the initial series purpose of a Dorky 6 Year Long Izjo Slowburn

‘Wait I don’t care about this i just want my dorky 6 year long izjo slowburn. but wait, this has lived in my head since 2015, is it even legible to anyone who would just be coming into it?’

~5 central plot fics, each with around 5 chapters at maybe 10k per chapter give or take. is roughly 250k total. even if i do publish this it’s going to take years

What else is there…………. Isabel is really good at offensive magic. She becomes quidditch team captain in their 5th year. Max hates flying on brooms.

Wizjos arc means so much to me.

Their friendship vaguely starts in 2nd year. theyre the quidditch beaters but work horribly together- they argue a lot and dont get along at all, it almost gets them kicked off the team. theyre forced into a situation that pairs them to work together sometime mid semester, and at the end of it they’re still… tense, but have a better understanding of each other? like ‘you annoy me but we had a moment that i would feel bad betraying. i think were more similar than i thought and i dont know how to feel about it yet’. Johnny develops his crush and it’s very strangled because he’s 12.

By 3rd year they’re more cooperative. Getting towards friendly. Theyre teammates AND housemates, so even though theyre in separate friend groups they spend a lot of time together. Still bickering but there’s slowly more and more fun behind it. Less ‘i’ll shove you off your broom’ and more ‘hey maybe if we do x we can shove x off their broom together’. Isabel begins having fun hanging out with johnny because he bites back. It’s stopped being annoying and become ‘oh hes just as conscious (whether he knows it or not) about his image as i am. it’s nice to put that down around someone. and also blast him with wizard lasers sometimes. and get blasted by wizard lasers.’

By 4th year they’re friends and Johnny’s still sitting with his feelings. It’s just a part of daily life. Wake up. Brush teeth. Shut Up Guerra (Hey Guerra). Lunch. Pick on a 2nd year. Meet up with Guerra before practice. Tell that one joke cause it always makes her laugh. Don’t make it obvious how you feel. Don’t let it slip how you feel. Don’t jeopardize this. Don’t do anything that’d make her feel weird. You’re her friend and he likes being her friend so it’s not a big deal. Isabel has slowly been getting more pressure from her grandpa, and every time shes stressed and cant go to her AC friends she goes to Johnny. So by 4th year they’re more or less best friends.

By 5th year they’re a capital T Team. Isabel’s gryffindor captain now and Johnny’s essentially her right hand. He’s there to hold new member tryouts with her, they study in the commonroom late at night, hes so gleeful about her uppity new position that he permanently cements calling her Captain into their teasing nicknames and Isabel hates it. In return Isabel makes him do extra laps, because she can do that now. And then Johnny gets in a non-serious accident and is in the infirmary for a week and suddenly Isabel is confronted with Oh. Oh I Don’t Like This. Oh This Is Bad. He’s fine he just gets like a concussion or something but Isabel doesn’t KNOW that right away and all of a sudden she’s faced with ‘i didnt realize how much of my life you’ve become and i miss you now that youre not there’ ‘…….why do i miss you now that youre not there.’ ‘we have a quidditch match coming up and i dont know if youll be healthy enough to play’ ‘i dont care about the game. id cancel in an instant if it means you wont have to play injured’ ‘………………why did i-’ etc. And afterwards Johnnys FINE but isabel is left with this weird hole in her gut and the reality that In That Situation That Was My Reaction And Those Were My Feelings. She’s confronted with the fact that somewhere along the line, Johnny became someone important to her. And that him getting hurt worried her. Because she cares about his wellbeing. Because she likes spending time with him. Because he’s her quidditch partner. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself playing with anyone else. Because she doesn’t think she’d want to play with anyone else. And then shes in trouble.

By 6th year is when things start kicking into gear. For starters the Triwizard Tournament because I can’t do a wizard au without some wizard deathsports. None of it is directly involved, that’s actually MAX’S B-plot, but a lot of what goes on because of it directly influences the wizjo A-plot.

Now we’re dealing with Johnnys time-tempered feelings that he’s accepted nothing would happen with but are still very alive, and ISABEL, who has JUST realized and has been stewing in her feelings all summer. With no outlet or real processing. Cant even go to johnny about it because well he Is johnny. He’s johnny and he gets under her skin and helps her with her transmutation homework and when she blasts him in dueling class he gets back up with a bigger grin than when she knocked him down. And she’s going to explode, she thinks.

And I’ve talked about this but when Headmaster Boss Leader (lmfao) says the forest is off limits during the tournament, of course they bet who can sneak out and last longer. And of course both friend groups scatter and get lost in the woods and of course who finds each other but. each other. and of course theyre both angry and worried about their friends and on guard bc theyre in the fucking forbidden forest at like 1am. Isabels ashamed that she didnt think more and johnnys grumpy and theyre so so blaming it on each other. Don’t deal with your feelings when you can express them through what you both know best: bickering and riling each other up to get the energy out. Isabels doing all this while trying Not to think about her crush. Johnnys long accepted his crush and that it’s not going to happen. So they are both very very surprised when Isabel kisses him mid argument, much to her horror. She apologizes and they get back to looking for their friends, who find them first. Later that night Isabel decides to apologize properly, because in her mind she let her emotions get out of control and seriously took advantage of him and she feels horrible about it. He’s someone she cares about, even though he probably doesn’t feel the same way, and it was wrong (She’s beating herself up and saying see? heres what happens if you let yourself have nice things. youd be lucky if he even speaks to you after what you did. you cant do this again.). Johnny however hears ‘that meant nothing to me i’m embarrassed and dont read into it’. Which is. Fine. He knew that. He’s known that. Hes big and scary and doesn’t let something like rejection get to him. Especially cause it wasn’t even rejection because she was never interested in the first place! Which he knows! So it doesn’t matter! And he can handle it really well! Yeah sure thing Guerra no big deal why’d she ever WANT to kiss him right theyre not like that! See her at practice ! they both walk away like Glad that was cleared up! [screaming]

This keeps happening. 6th year is when everything thats been boiling starts bubbling over.

isabel kisses johnny and everything gets wobbly. they’re trying to focus on their studies, and quidditch, and maintain that comfortable friendship theyve had since 3rd year, and not think about how nice it would be to try it just one more time. everyone, including the guest students from other schools that are here for the tournament, can see that theyve got something going on, even if they cant. johnny makes an excuse to drape his legs over isabels lap. isabel finds an excuse to grab johnnys wrist, or nudge him on the shoulder. they’re trying to deal with how things used to be and how they are now and how they want them to be and how they feel.

they ALMOST kiss again during wizard prom, which they don’t attend together. but they dont.

and then they have exams in spring. and isabels sooooo confident that she’ll knock out that stupid dog boggart just like she did third year. so she’s pretty shaken up when her grandpa shows up instead and says hes pulling her out of school early. shes too much trouble and hes through putting up with this time-wasting education, its time for her to quit being an embarrassment to him and finish learning the family magic. theres a lot more insults thrown in but thats the jist. and she goes running to the commonroom because not only did all that happen and she’s freaking out, but it happened and she freaked out in front of the entire class. and johnny goes after her because hes worried like crazy and they have a moment and he goes a bit overboard on the whole ‘if thats what your real grandpas like then i dont care who he is hes a jackass. cant he see what an annoyingly massive brain youve got on your shoulders or how youre cracked at strategy or’ and he does that for like 10 minutes while gently rubbing her back and isabel is having another crisis on top of her grandpa crisis. because what she tried so hard to kill is still very much alive. and hes being weirdly soft and comforting and she feels better with him here and its a lot to deal with. And she feels horrible and guilty and she doesn’t want him to stop.

Johnny is trying desperately to break tension and make sure she knows its bullshit. She’s HIS friend! Nobody talks like that about one of HIS friends and gets away with it! Even if it was a creature disguised as her grandpa and not actually her grandpa! SHE deserves to know that it’s not true and HES not gonna stand by it! But shes resisting and hes frustrated and there’s got to be SOMETHING thatll get through her head there’s got to be SOMETHING he can do to show her what he thinks but shes being DIFFICULT and hes BAD AT WORDSTHINKING and- oh okay thats a kiss. To get through her big smart wonderful dense skull. And it’s very soft and very determined to say ‘you’re wonderful. this is how wonderful i think you are. you dont need me to tell you it but please listen please please please if you need to hear it from someone else ill tell you. i dont really know how to in the way you deserve but youre worth learning’. All in front of the couch they spent hours on studying and planning matches on and napping and its warm and isabel is. well. Isabel Is In Trouble.

And then oh. Well. Um. Hello Maxwell. Who Came To Check On Us Because We Were Taking So Long .

frankly i’m still not sure how they sort that one out. johnny awkwardly excuses himself. and sometime before the school year ends they Actually Talk About It

By 7th year theyre together and very happy and very much the school menaces. Turns out avoiding your feelings gets you nowhere when instead you could face them and put your head together and cause all your separate rabblerousery with each other. And also hold hands with your best friend who you meet for breakfast and fall asleep on and spar against and get excited over the upcoming quidditch season with and kiss and sneak out to the astronomy tower with a blanket. isabel doesn’t want to take over franciscos legacy and johnnys like ‘i mean youve been pretty busy buildin your own, cap’. and she thinks. yeah. but itd be um. kind of empty with just me, dont you think?

Because she likes spending time with him. Because he’s her quidditch partner. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself playing with anyone else. Because she doesn’t think she could see herself wanting to play with anyone else. And then shes in trouble. Because neither does he.

#asks #anon #I WROTE ……. SO MUCH MORE THAN I MEANT TO…… I GOT CARRIED AWAY..#THANK U FOR THE ASK I WENT A LITTLE BONKERS #head in my HANDS. WIZJO.#wizard au

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nono-bunny · 6 months

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Why do you people even watch ATLA if makes so many of you miserable?

WHEN did I ever say it makes me miserable lmao

So. First of all? I literally first watched/got to know this show as a kid alongside my little brother, tuning in to random episodes rather than watching it all in order on my own. I always respected it and thought it was cool, but it took me a bit to watch it all properly, and by that time I already watched the finale, had the inkling it was dumb, and when I watched everything that feeling was only strengthed

Like? Idk who you are but your question seems to imply you're a new fan coming in from the 2020 ATLA renaissance, and it's important to remember that's super not the case for a lot people. I grew up with the show! I keep rewatching it every couple of years! Not because I hate it and I want to get mad, but because I do genuinely love like, 90% of it- and most of the stuff I hate about it, and a lot of my anger towards it was born MUCH later than my first watchthrough. When you watch something you enjoy a whole bunch of times and get familiar with it, of course you're also gonna become aware of its flaws! And, as much as I hate having to say it, Aang as a character IS the show's biggest flaw- he doesn't carry his weight as the show's protagonist, and kid me could sense it, while adult me can now look at him and say WHY.

ATLA fan culture is a bit problematic in the sense that it's been put on such a high pedestal that it can seem weird when people criticize it, but like? There are parts of it that are DESERVING of criticism, heck, pretty much all of the people who worked on it who've spoken about it in the years since would agree that there are some stuff that either didn't age well or weren't well made in the first place, like- being critical of something or hating some aspects of it doesn't mean you hate the whole thing!!!

Fr if I didn't enjoy ATLA at all I wouldn't ever bother rewatching it, or engaging with the fandom, or consuming fan content... But I obviously do, given that I'm here speaking about it YEARS after I first saw it, because it resonated with me, and I love it! Even if I'm still mad as fuck about a lot of stuff that happened in the franchise over the years (and the finale, the can't be stressed enough), that doesn't detract from the fact that there are still more stuff about it that I love than I don't... Even if I tend to talk about the bad stuff because they make me ranty and I have to release all my thoughts somewhere else I'd explode lol. Btw, before I started being more active on Tumblr I'd just bombard my best friend with my thoughts on shit they'd never seen/played/experience so. Tumblr is genuinely just a good place for this because sometimes people see my thoughts and agree, sometimes they don't and it's all chill honestly

Watching ATLA for the most part makes me really happy, actually! But there are a selection of episodes that make me mad, and like? If you're not up to seeing less stellar reviews of the show, THERE'S A REASON I TAG EVERYTHING!! You can just block "anti___" tags, I respect that not everyone agrees with my takes on the show, and I specifically take care that they won't have to see them if they don't want to, so, really... Unless you ACTUALLY wanna have a discussion about my issues with the show, wouldn't it have been so much easier to just block either me or the tags and move on rather than question my enjoyment of something I dearly love for like, no reason whatsoever? Oh well whatever this was kinda a funny ask to get, thanks for the laugh lol "you people" cracked me up

#atla #avatar the last airbender #atla critical #anti aang

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kartriderville · 8 months

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Thoughts on KRD's Season 4 Cinematic

So I wanted to get this out as soon as Season 4 was released, but I realized that I wanted to actually play the game before writing anything, so that’s why this is “late” lol. This was also WAY longer than I thought it would be, so I’m going to tag posts like this in the future.

But here it is! My thoughts on the Season 4 cinematic, and maybe a few theories.

Thoughts below the cut!

So, this Season is obviously Halloween-themed since this season’s duration covers the autumn months and of course Halloween itself, so it’s no surprise we’re including supernatural stuff.

In the beginning, we’re introduced to a scene of the ghostly population living in the town they inhabit, and then almost immediately the Rabbit Hole and her lackeys rush through the crowd and towards the looming castle in the background. That can’t be good.

We then see one of the new characters this Season, Draky, who makes a return from past Kartrider games. I don’t know much about him, so I’m pretty happy he’s back so I can get to know him! (Even if his story may or may not have been changed.)

He’s seen doing some sort of ritual, which was almost completed, but gets interrupted by the Rabbit Hole and co. who seem to be after that bell Draky has. A chase begins!

It may just be me, but I noticed this cinematic uses its time well, as it mainly focuses on what’s happening and the action instead of special effects or stuff that doesn’t entirely matter, if you get what I’m saying. I like that! It makes it easier to focus on what’s going on without getting distracted too much by other things.

Also, the animations are still very high-quality, and while I do prefer the more cartoon-y style they had for other collab animations, it’s starting to grow on me a bit honestly.

So Draky gets chased by them, leading them through all the twists and turns of the dark castle. Whatever that bell has inside it is important to him, and the Rabbit Hole is dead-set on getting it.

And one of Rabbit Hole’s minions actually falls out a window from going too fast I guess lmao. It got a laugh out of me because of how sudden it was because damn RIP dude 💀

And just as Draky’s about to get out of danger, the other two manage to stop him (why he couldn’t just zoom past them is beyond me.) They manage to corner him, and when he flies away as a bat, the Rabbit Hole throws a water bomb at him to stop him and steal… whatever essence is inside the bell. I have an idea of what it could be, but I’ll say more about it later.

This was a tiny bit sad, I suppose. Why did they do that to the poor guy? They must be using it for something important if they went through all that effort chasing Draky, but we probably won't get any answers about that until the next cinematic (or better, Scenario Mode.)

So with the Rabbit Hole and gang gone, Draky is left alone mad as ever, and upset. He bats the bell away, but magically, a ghost manages to arise from it. Spirit Kid! She’s also a new character this season. (She’s absolutely adorable, and I like her design very much. I guess KRD heard me wanting Tiera’s hat to emote and said “We’ll give you one better” and made a whole ghost that’s 60% hat 💀)

Seeing how upset he is, Spirit Kid tries to cheer him up and gives him the bell that he smacked away. This doesn’t make him completely happy, but at least he’s not as upset anymore with the reminder. The cinematic ends on this note, with Draky looking out the castle as it pans away. That should be it, right?

WRONG.

Because then we get another small animated clip after the main animation, and it officially reveals Miso as the Rabbit Hole, as well as the identity of her two followers… sort of!

Let me tell you I was actually happily surprised when I saw this part with a friend of mine. Not at Miso being the Rabbit Hole, but at the other two. (I will never not make fun of KRD for accidentally spoiling Miso as Rabbit Hole through a decal on the shop for like 2 days before catching their mistake it was hilarious)

Obviously, the one on the right is Rex, no one could dismiss that from his iconic outfit, but then the one on the left was a little harder to identify for me. I’m pretty sure that’s Derek, but that only leaves me with more questions for the future...

FINAL THOUGHTS (and Last minute theories)

Honestly, out of the cinematic intros we’ve gotten so far, I think this one is definitely up there because it’s the most story-driven we’ve received, and I always love learning more about KRD’s plot and lore, even if it’s bite-sized. It just makes this game more enjoyable for me as I play, knowing there's stuff going on in the background as I'm having fun racing. I can't wait for more!

I have a few possible ideas (theories) about what occurred during the animation so I’ll leave those here:

Spirit Kid’s whole deal is that she’s the little sister of Draky, but without her memories. That energy the Rabbit Hole stole from the bell is what I believe to be the rest of her- all the memories and basically what would’ve made her completely alive if they hadn’t so rudely interrupted Draky. Without it, she’s just a ghost without a body.

That minion on the left at the end of the cinematic next to Miso/RabbitHole was racing Derek, we saw them both at the same place during the WKC Season. Does this mean this Derek is a copy of some sort? Is that the real Rex, or is that also a copy? Possibly, but there’s also another idea to entertain: They’re from the same place Miso is, the future. According to the in-game description, Miso’s from the future and has come back to cause misery, so it’s possible those two were convinced (or forced) to join her crew and travel back to the past. But of course there's also the possibility of those both being the real Derek and Rex, and if that's the case, they better start explaining themselves >:(

And not really a theory but I noticed the description of the Rabbit Hole’s personal kart mentioned something called “Hexnium” and that it was powered by it/enabled it to time travel. I think it's a new material unique to KRD? I don't really have anything to say about it I just noticed it and thought it was a neat little detail.

Okay that’s it from me that’s a lot of words lol if you read all of this: thanks! I just like talking about this silly game.

#kartrider #kartrider drift #textpost #krd thoughts #draky kartrider #spirit kid kartrider #rabbit hole kartrider #rex kartrider

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kudzucataclysm · 1 year

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This or That: Writer Edition!!!

tas tagged by the amazing @vacantgodling :3 i tag...whoever sees this 👁️👁️ no really. dewit

historical or futuristic

FUTURISTIC 100%. historical shit can be…very boring to me, usually cuz its all very repetitive? And to me its usually way too grounded in established reality and focuses a ton on aesthetic. like history is pretty much done, but the future is absolutely unwritten and unknown to for me its more interesting to speculate abt (pushes my ww1 horror story and 1200s zombie apocalypse story under the bed)

2. the opening chapter or closing chapter

opening, cuz its easier and more exciting to figure out while the closing chapter tends to beeee hard to figure out and kinda sad for me? cuz its over dfvfv like its the END. and u gotta figure out a satisfying wrap up for all these characters and plotlines and all that, which is a monumental task in and of itself (to me) EVEN THOUGH. i agree, working backwards can often hepl tremendously in working out how everything goes (i say this cuz i actually know the ending of my wip Typhoon Landing, so its easier to map out in a way)

3. light & fluffy or dark & gritty

dark and gritty ig? although it can be overdone in a way, where theres next to no levity and people bask in its grittiness. light and fluffy however can be boring and bleh, i'll take dark and gritty over that any day

4. animal companion or found family

found family for sure. i rarely have signifigant animal companions in my story cuz…well, theyre pets. the only one i can think of rn is EFJ, Dez's eventual cat who can TALK, but even then she doesn't get much attention story wise. she's just someone Dez can talk to and take care of v-v but yeh all my stories tend to have a semblance of found family huehue

5. horror or romance

HORRORRRRR cuz i don't have the patience for romance ig lol. i also don't really care for it :p way less interesting to me than horror

6. hard or soft magic system

it depends? i prefer hard magic typically but in the case of certain settings like Discworld, the soft magic system is extremely interesting and feels natural to the world and stories! but for stories like FMA, the hard 'magic' system being built around chemistry and math is like WHHOOAA and its super cool and neat to me. so…either is fine!! if i find it interesting and that it fits in the world it resides in

…actually u know what im gonna be a hater for a sec. one magic system that i absolutely fucking abhor is the H/P system like what the actual fuck. it makes genuinely no sense like evidently u had wizards disappearing their own shit in the 1300s but if ONE FUCKING KID does a self defense on a malevolent entity that will CONSUME HIS FUCKING SOUL ALONG WITH OTHERS, u go to wizard court and yur banned from magic 5evar. the ghosts of dead students haunt the halls of britain wizard school wtf what happened there. the whole blood quantity race thing with wizards who think humans are below them cuz they cant do magic yet they dont even know how dishwashers work (lets not even get into it how the very author is like 'yeah non-magic ppl are lame and stupid lol'). the full blown racism where other supernatural creatures and people are discriminated against like yur a wizard with lycanthropy?? yur a giant? fuck you kill yourself no youre not allowed to learn magic. the teachers and ministry despite knowing the threat that the ghost thingies pose (THEYRE ON SCHOOL FUCKING GROUNDS?? KIDS WILL BE SOUL SUCKED) and like theres TERRORISTS RUNNING AROUND and nobody teaches these kids self defense spells. on TOP of that, they STILL HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL LMAOOO like that is so fucking funny to me, genuinely. like FUCK THOSE WIZARD KIDS FR LOL anyway im done

7. standalone or series

series cuz for the life of me i cant have short or self-contained stories. i grow too attached to characters and the world and it has to be drawn out to its full potential sorry not sorry

8. one project at a time or always juggling two+

im hyperfocusing on SE rn but i have like 15+ stories on the backburner rn rip to everyone who liked those specifically and havent seen em since

9. one award winner or one best seller

uuuh i dunno? i dont think either of these things will happen for me cuz my works are uh…weird? but i think a bestseller would be kinda cool maybe…

10. fantasy or sci-fi

sci-fi!!!! i love to blend both genres tho so rules can be bent more- and i generally do hate how many sci-fi fans these days are all ''REALISM!! ACKTCHUALLY THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN BECUZ-'' idc its fake. i love earlier sci-fi stories where its just crazy bullshit. cowboys on alien planets. sword and planet, with barbarians and knights with super futuristic technology. Alien planet where the ocean itself is the alien intelligence. FRANK HERBERT'S DUNE WHERE DRUGS PRODUCED BY MOUNTAIN SIZED WORMS IS THE BASIS FOR INTERPLANETARY TRAVEL; THE DRUGS ALSO GIVE YOU THE ABILITY TO PERCIEVE SPACE AND TIME OUTSIDE OF REALITY. fucking shit like godzilla where an iguana was exposed to radiation and turned into a massive monster who terrorizes cities. like bring that shit back like thats my heroine. i want WEIRD SHIT!!!

11. character or setting description

character description cuz its simply easier vv' descriptions in general are hard for me

12. first or final draft

ive never even completed a draft please no talk to me-

13. love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

FUCK LOVE TRIANGLES FR i hate that shit with a passion dont even get me started. i dont even give af abt romance in stories anyway so i'd rather have no arcs goddamn >:/

14. constant sandstorm or rainstorm

constant rainstorm plz, forever :3

#tag game #eheheeeee #anyway believe it or not i have so many opinions on a lot of things-#like sometimes i wanna talk abt those opinions but wtv #bleh bleh bleh

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timelesslords · 1 year

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I absolutely adore atwccd, as sad as it is, it's a really cool idea to explore. You start the story thinking at the characters 'if you are reaped and die quickly in the arena may be the best case scenario for you' because surviving in the games might be easier than surviving as a victor.

Your writing is great, like, this is a Hunger Games AU so on some level I can guess what is going to happen because I know the source (the books) and read the tags, but is still unexpected, I had the same ice cold realization Annabeth has that her life is not the one she should be worried about, even if I knew the story of Percy's sponsor was coming. But I didn't see the whole thing with the reaping and the threat towards Estelle coming! Real gut punch there!

Like I said, cool idea to explore because the story really sucks you in

But at the same time I'm thinking : this is a very sad story, but you're actually posting it so... What in the world was that UFS sequel about for it to never see the light of the sun? ☀️🤣

aah thank you!! I'm so happy you're enjoying it so far <33 That's exactly what I was hoping people would get out of it, so it makes me really happy to hear that feedback!!! I think most of y'all basically know what's coming, but I think it's safe to say I have one more trick up my sleeve for the last chapter lol

As for the UFS sequel... oh boy 😅 in some ways its really not as bad as atwccd, but I think it's more the blatant tone shift from UFS to the unnamed sequel that would be jarring to people than the content, necessarily.

The thing about UFS (and I am about to go on a Tangent here but I rarely have an excuse to talk about it so I have to take whatever chances I can get) is that I wrote it after taking a post-colonial literature class with an absolutely brilliant professor who really changed my point of view on a lot of things and really expanded the ways in which I view literature. UFS is really heavily inspired by a lot of themes that are common in post-colonial lit; homecomings, fractured or conflicting allegiances, otherness/the struggle to belong, etc.

UFS obviously has a happy ending (or bittersweet, whatever, mostly happy) but that's almost entirely because you get to imagine what happens next. The mysterious island paradise Percy (and eventually Annabeth) call home is a paradise because we know nothing about it. We don't know its complexities, or what struggles its faced in its isolation, or how Annabeth will adjust to such an extreme difference.

There's an idea in post-colonial literature that the homeland is often viewed as a paradise, this faultless, unreachable place. That if you could just go home, everything would be okay. But there are also a lot of books that subvert this idea (my favorite being White Teeth by Zadie Smith), that say that no, actually, home is not perfect. Home may be more fucked up than where you are now. Home may not even exist anymore, not how you remember it.

I think UFS itself very much plays into the first idea (home is paradise, home fixes everything, if you can go home you will be saved) and the ideas I have for the sequel play into the second (home will not solve your problems, home might actually fuck you up more). And I just think that would make people really sad and I don't want to do it 😭

so like, TLDR: the things I put them through are bad but not atwccd bad, but its mostly the way that it would ruin the perception of the ending of UFS that makes me hesitate to ever post any of it.

#yes i did write a paper on the metaphysical nature of home as a paradise in postcolonial lit #and my professor did reccomend me to the honors program for it #anyway that was so long i am so sorry #i just love talking about PCL #asks #valshadowhunter #UFS #atwccd #long post

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justcaytlin · 1 year

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Oh yeah, one good thing about moving back to Tumblr is I can chronicle my FFXIV D&D group much easier!

I'm DMing a campaign where I run my friends through the ARR story (and eventually the rest of MSQ, but one bite at a time, eh?) and we've just started.

Prior to the campaign, I put together a 123-page PDF player's guide for them, as they are unfamiliar with Final Fantasy in general and also to convert lore into D&D mechanics. Rather than taking the homebrew route of creating all the jobs/classes from whole cloth, we converted existing D&D classes into FFXIV flavor.

The PDF also contains custom backgrounds, "This Is Your Life" from Xanathar's Guide but Eorzea-ized, and of course races (tweaked from someone else's homebrew, which is linked in the document).

Of course the PDF is already out of date because that's how these things go, but it's still, like, 99% good.

June was a feverish month of creation LOL

Anyway, here's our intrepid party:

Maeda Matsu (Matsu is her given name) is our Au Ra White Mage (Druid of Stars 2/Cleric of Life X, a Hydaelyn cleric). Barry Spalding (Barius) is our Garlean Gunbreaker (Artificer Armorer). And Sayonji Himemiya is our Red Mage (Wizard Bladesinger).

The First Rising

The first two sessions, I wanted to introduce them to the setting, its characters, its story, etc, and also help them kind of get a feel for their party dynamic. So I set it during the very first annual Rising Festival after the Calamity. For funsies, I decided it would be held at the Gold Saucer, because of course Godbert would hold the first Rising Festival in an attempt to reunify people and bring joy to those who were hurting.

I played the ARR trailer video up until the end of the Calamity, narrating over it and what was happening so they could get the emotional enormity of what had happened.

Then I spent time with each character, doing some story RP with them that explained their normal circumstances and how they got to the festival. Matsu's flighty, flaky mom wanted to take her to the cool new festival. Matsu's a Sharlayan Scholar, and Krile is her mentor, so I had Krile give her a Twilight Sparkle-esque assignment: go have fun and make some friends.

Barry was tagging along to his brother's friend's bachelor party, which was a dumbass stunt of "tee hee let's sneak into savage Eorzea in disguise and have our party at their casino!" They basically brought Barry along because he's sorta always the hanger-on, and his brother Nero thought it would be hilarious to get his baby brother drunk as a skunk in Eorzea. Shortly after arriving, they basically abandoned him to go have fun themselves.

Sayonji is a neglected lil baby whose mother was one of the Company of Heroes, but vanished when he was a child. His father then vanished with the other Warriors of Light during the Calamity. He puts on airs of arrogance and being full of himself to hide his hurt. A traveling bard, Temur Himemiya, came to his town of Summerford to talk about the Rising Festival. Sayonji fell *instantly* in love (hence, taking on the bard's last name) and declared right then and there he'd be an adventurer too. He went to the festival riding high on being ~in love~.

He was 15.

How It Went

They met and had a blast doing a bunch of party games. They competed against Yda and Papalymo in the obstacle course up Mount Corel, doing the limit break mechanic to launch Sayonji to the finish line.

They had an astrologian read their fortunes using the Tarokka deck (especially since my husband had already coded up a really cool tarokka reading table). Barry is 100% sure it's fluff and nonsense because lol being in the middle of a corrupt regime??? what lol??? He's a soft baby boy.

Sayonji started to cotton on that Barry might be a Garlean. Most especially because he was weirdly neurotic about keeping his dumb pirate bandanna on over his forehead.

They made contact with a pair of extremely arrogant 11 year old Sharlayan twins whom Matsu had seen around the Studium.

Suddenly, a *tower of light* appeared in Event Square and Godbert made a big show of it, like, OH NO, HEROES, WHAT DO WE DOOOOO, GATHER IN PARTIES OF NO MORE OR LESS THAN FIVE PEOPLE PLEASE THANK YOU

They nabbed Alphinaud and Alisaie as their fourth and fifth (the twins had been arguing with Godbert that they should be allowed to run the tower on their own because they were PRODIGIES) and entered.

The whole tower was an exercise in getting to know your party:

A philosophical discussion with a couple of moogles about what to do if you find a Garlean baby in a camp after you've killed all the soldiers. (Party was solidly in the Don't Kill the Baby camp) The only goal here was to come to a party consensus.

A room where a freaky candy was created to represent each person's deepest fears. You had to eat someone else's candy and be in their shoes for a little Echo scene. Note, they had to attune to a crystal, and Barry could not. He was trying and panicking, and Godbert basically was like "Oh oops it must be on the fritz :D" and had it generate an appropriate chocolate. Matsu learned that Barry is a Garlean, and both Matsu and Sayonji came to the conclusion that he is a soft sweet boy and not a spy, and also he has a shitty family.

A room where you had to speak out loud your worst flaw, and someone else had to talk about how they'd be able to compensate for that flaw. Heroes should be able to lift each other up! Speaking your flaw would summon a platform that would help build a bridge across a chasm, and having it compensated for would stabilize it enough to be able to stand on it.

At this point, both Alisaie and Sayonji were commiserating on "WHAT IS THIS UNAGREED UPON GROUP THERAPY BULLSHIT"

Final room was a fight against Mama Moogle (fat moogle) and her moogley minions. Lots of goofy combat, and they knocked Mama Moogle so hard she quit early.

They got lil plastic medals that, when pressed, would do the tinny victory theme. They say "I survived the Tower of Light at the first annual Rising Festival!" on them. Super gaudy.

Everyone parted ways a bit sadly, assuming they'd never see each other again. Matsu gave Barry a lil kiss in hopes of impressing his jackass brother and friends.

And Then The Call

Last session, I had another round of "here's what you've been doing ever since that day." Matsu had realized her mother was a flake when her mom casually dropped that Matsu was a foundling and didn't seem to get that this was Big News to her. Sayonji had been adventuring, and by adventuring, I mean being a gal friday for Bentbranch. Barry was busy trying to experiment on solidifying the gunblade and the art of gunbreaking.

Matsu was in the middle of discussing with her father and Krile about trying to become a cleric of Hydaelyn, and then breaking the news that she knew about her birth, when her vision blurred and she blacked out.

Sayonji ran into Temur again, was horribly embarrassed that he hadn't done hardly enough, Temur composed a little ditty on the spot about him helping little old ladies, and Sayonji blacked out.

Barry was walking through Ala Mhigo with his brother when Nero got into a spat with a little girl and her mother, and when the girl attacked him, Nero reacted without thinking and went to rifle-butt-smack her in the face. Barry intervened and blacked out.

They all had a joint vision of themselves in a floating void -- the others were glowing light figures, like the Warriors of Light -- and they got to see themselves as max level as a lil glowing light did the Hear, Feel, Think shtick.

Then they saw the glowing orb start to bleed black mist and shrivel, and an Ascian appeared, picked up the orb, and crumpled it in his fist. Then he shot away, and the three of them were able to give chase and limit break him into non-existence.

When they woke up, they all basically got lil scenes that got them to a boat. Barry asked his brother to cover for him while he went "field testing" and Nero took this to mean he wanted to basically do Garlean Rumspringa and also probably do some casual murdering of Eorzean soldiers, which is a-okay in his book. Nero gave him the thumbsup. Krile was excited about the vision, and Matsu's dad was worried. They urged her to start adventuring, and Krile offered to put in an appointment with Baderon at the Adventurer's Guild in Limsa. Sayonji told Temur about his vision and got a lil ditty in compensation.

It's worth noting right about now that I've been making quest plates for them, so they can keep track of the long-term questions.

Anyway, they all got on their boats. Sayonji and Barry had about a month on the boat together to catch up (Barry was a stowaway). They met Matsu in the Cieldalaes, where Limsa customs is presently, since the Yellowjackets are buttoning up everything in response to a spate of kidnappings.

They met Brennan, the friendly peddler, who chatted with them and asked them why they were adventuring and whatnot.

THEN PIRATES ATTACKED, and we stopped for the day.

Whew

Most of these writeups won't be this long, since they won't encompass THREE SESSIONS plus setup, but at least I have something I can point to now lol

#derps of light #ffxiv #dnd #d&d #ffxiv d&d #white mage #red mage #gunbreaker

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onlyhuis · 10 months

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hihi im starting a writing blog for svt but im relatively new to tumblr and its mechanics and all the etiquette and things like that. also im a jun biased and im weird in the way where i don't usually have inspo for other members? if that makes sense? so like idk is there anything i need to know or is it relatively acceptable to mostly only write for one or two members?

also sidenote but i really love some of your writings ahaha match of the season is my favourite :D thank you so much if you ever reply!

no that totally makes sense! i would say most authors on here will write for ot13 but they definitely write more for their bias than any other member. i feel the same way, for me it's easier to write for jun than for other members (and also i love him lol) so my writing ends up being like 90% jun and 10% other members. which is completely fine! at the end of the day it's your blog and your writing, and you should write for whoever you feel comfortable writing for and whoever gives you the most motivation. there are hundreds of writers on this site so if one writer only writes for a couple of members, it doesn't mean the other members won't get written :) nobody says you're required to write certain things or for certain members!

if you intentionally leave out one member but write for all the rest (i've seen writers who write ot12 and exclude jun because they aren't attracted to him), you might get some side eyes but again that is your choice. i personally wouldn't say a hard no to any members and i'll give them all my best shot, but that's my blog, and your blog is up to you.

as for things you'd need to know, i'd say the number one thing is interact with people! the best way to get interaction on your own work is to reblog and comment on other fics. as i'm sure you've heard me say before, reblogs are the most important feature on this site! it basically boils down to, treat others how you would want to be treated by reblogging their works and leaving feedback, even if it's just a simple "i really loved this!!!". it makes you stand out in our notifs and if you're also a writer it might even get you a new mutual.

other tips off the top of my head:

have a masterlist post (helps people find all your fics in one place) and have a guidelines post (makes it clear what you're comfy with)

DO NOT PLAGIARIZE AND DO NOT STEAL ANYONE ELSE'S WRITING (this one is in caps bc super super important!!! you can take ideas or inspiration from someone else but you cannot take their words or their writing. you'd think this one would be obvious but plagiarism happens a lot more than you'd think)

if you're inspired by someone else, tag them in your fic! it shows respect to the original author, and you should tag them whether it was from a fic you read or if they helped you brainstorm ideas. it doesn't have to be a super long thing, just a little "inspired by @onlyhuis's fic!!" is more than enough, but it goes a long way :)

like i said, you can write for whoever you want, whenever you want! when ppl start interacting you it's gonna be stressful because you want to make them happy and put out new fics often, but just remember that it's your blog and you get the final say on everything. don't put pressure on yourself to write constantly because you will get burned out and i promise it will not be fun!

if people send things that make you uncomfy, don't be afraid to delete (or block) them. it's your blog and your boundaries so don't feel guilty for standing up for yourself. also, ignore answer hate asks because they're just looking for attention so don't give it to them

trigger things properly! this is the little section before the fic that says "warnings". don't censor any words (using punctuation like bl00d or d3ath instead of typing blood or death) because it defeats the purpose of ppl who have those keywords filtered, so type out the whole word uncensored. this is a courtesy for people so they can choose to avoid content that may be harmful to them. (this also counts towards visual works, a lot of ppl use tags like "tw flashing" on gifsets)

speaking of tags, when you post be sure to put tags on it! it's the section at the bottom of your post with all the #'s. if you click on any of my fics you can see that i use tags like "jun smut", "seventeen scenarios", etc. these tags help people find what they want to read (but only tag relevant things; don't put "mingyu smut" on a jeonghan fic unless mingyu is actually in the fic). if you aren't sure which tags to use or how to format things, feel free to look at other fics for examples. if you read a lot of fics you might see there's a pretty standard way of doing it

the tags i use like "june.txt" and "june writes" are organizational tags. when you click on, for example, my "june writes" tag, the results are only my fics that have that tag. it basically organizes things into categories (which imo is the best part of tumblr) and it makes it easier to find different types of posts. it also allows people to filter those tags so posts with that tag don't show up (for example, i require minors on my blog to block the tag "minors dni" so that nothing nsfw is shown to them)

again like i said, don't be shy! make friends, join networks, send asks to people, reblog fics, etc etc. interacting with others is the #1 way to make writer friends :)

just a general tumblr tip: no one can see how many followers you have except you, so don't try to make it a competition of who has the most. it's what makes tumblr different from tw*tter and insta and it makes the social media experience a lot more casual because there's no influencers here. it's like a diary where you scream into the void and sometimes ppl scream back. a lot of writers do milestone events (i recently had one for hitting 1k followers) but you aren't required to do those either

if you have any questions about tags, filtering keywords, and other tumblr stuff like that, don't be afraid to ask! any tumblr veteran is more than willing to help break down our weird system to new bloggers

be proud of your work! even if it doesn't get many notes or feedback it doesn't mean you're a bad writer. writing should be fun and something you can enjoy doing, so don't make it seem like a chore by focusing too hard on numbers

i can't think of any more but here's my tag for important posts & info for new tumblrs users that you can look thru for more! i hope this helps :) and when you start your blog send me another ask!! i would love to be your first follower <3

#[💌] — asks #for example there are a lot of gyu/wonu/cheol biased writers so there ends up being a lot more of those fics than for say jun or seungkwan #so i dont feel too bad about not writing them as much bc i know theres already plenty of fics out there for them #and also im so happy you like my writing!! asks like these are something any author would be delighted to receive #it means a lot more than you know <33 #🍜 anon

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 2 years

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Self-Promotion Time ❤️

I was tagged by the lovely @eevvvaa ! Thanks so much, hon! 🥰🥰

1. What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Green is My Favorite Color Series

It's really hard for me to choose. They're all my babies!! 😜 and I wrote them all for very specific reasons. So, it's tough. But for me this one and my Dear Fucking Diary Series are very close to the top. But GIMFC was the first series I wrote and the VERY first story I've ever completed in its entirety, so it holds a soft spot in my heart. ☺️

2. What is your least favorite fic that you’ve written?

Time After Time

I think just because I'm still not confident in writing Sam Fics and I struggled a lot with this one.

3. What is your favorite fandom/character to write for?

Supernatural for sure and I definitely love writing for Dean more than anyone! Like. Ever. 😄

I'm branching out a bit with The Boys (Soldier Boy anyway) and I would really like to branch out more eventually, I do have a couple of fics over on fan fiction. net for the shows, Suits, (Harvey and Donna) and one (abandoned series) for Vampire Diaries (Damon and Elena) that I've considered bringing over and finishing. But...😬...I wrote them a couple years ago and I don't know how I feel about them now.

4. What fic do you wish had more notes/reads/comments?

Pretty much any of my Dean Series. GIMFC and my DFD series especially, but pretty much all of them have the least notes, and they're almost all likes. Now, don't get me wrong, I always have a big smile when I can tell someone is going through the whole series because I get a new notification every 10-15 minutes telling me that one person liking each chapter as they read it. 😁 That's always fun.

But I spent so much time on my series, especially GIMFC, and it would be awesome to get some more feedback about it. I'd love to know what folks think of it. But I get it, reading a series is a big commitment, and one shots and drabbles are much easier to fit into the craziness of our days! 😊

5. Name a fic you’ve written that did better than you expected. Name one that was worse than you anticipated.

Better: Learning About the Perks of Feminism

I was completely surprised by the reaction to this little Soldier Boy one shot. It's up to over 1,300 notes now - after a little over a month. Most of them are likes, but it also definitely has the most reblogs and comments of any fic I've written! I was surprised just because it seemed to spread rapidly, and blow up very quickly. Lol!! Very grateful! 😊

Worse: Time After Time

Yeah, this one only has 29 notes.

6. What keeps you writing and on Tumblr?

What keeps me writing is simply my inability to shut up the stories running around in my head. 😁 What keeps me writing specifically here on Tumblr are the incredible mutuals and followers that I get to interact with here. It's so much fun. I will be forever grateful for this place where I can be truly me, where I can talk incessantly about the things I'm passionate about and not only do I have people who are willing to listen to me, they very often join in!! 😍😍 It's why I'm constantly after more interactions, because it's my very favourite thing!! ❤️

7. Lastly, what fic by another author would you recommend your audience to read?

No. I can not recommend only one fic it is impossible. But I can link some Masterlists that I have spent a lot of time in! 😊

These were some that came to mind immediately, but there are SO many more!!

@myloversgone Masterlist

@waynes-multiverse Masterlist

@awkward-and-indecisive Masterlist

@talesmaniac89 Masterlist

@eevvvaa Masterlist

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone Masterlist

@avanatural Masterlist

@justagirlinafandomworld Masterlist

@there-must-be-a-lock Masterlist

@thinkinghardhardlythinking Masterlist

@deanwinchesterswitch Masterlist

@deanwanddamons Masterlist

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godccmplex · 10 months

Text

Get to know the author!

name : you can call me Opal

pronouns : she/her

preference of communication : I don't really care one way or the other, but I'm more likely to see it on discord. Tumblr doesn't always like to give notifications. Sure, discord has its issues too, but it's less frequent at least.

most active muse : Right now it seems to be Elijah here LOL other than that it's Marius over on @stvrlyte .

experience / how many years : I mean, I've been roleplaying really most of my life on and off. One on one with my friend all through school and on websites like ne.op.ets and g.ai.on.lin.e when I could. It didn't become a consistent part of my life, and on Tumblr too, until like 2017 I think?

best experience : there have been some incredible people I've met that we've had such cool plots and threads. It's hard to pick just one when all the awesome people know exactly who they are 🥺🥰

rp pet peeves : I wouldn't say I really have much. Like, the typical people who don't cut posts knowing they and their partner write literal novels or it's just a hundred sentence responses, or people who do the whole re-like and re-follow thing repeatedly to get your attention.

fluff, angst, or smut : except for smut, I'm good with whatever comes my way! Fluff and angst go sooo well together.

plots or memes : I do prefer thought out plots to memes, buuuut memes can LEAD to good plots so? Who am I to choose? I just go with the flow.

long or short replies : longer. It's so hard to know what to write when you don't have much to work with. We don't need to write novels each time, but I expect at least a little more than just a reaction.

time to write : I am a night owl, I work tues-sat 2-11pm (EST) so really I write whenever I can. Sometimes things are primarily written on mobile, so if there's a weird spelling mistake or a word that doesn't make sense, I'm sorry but Google autocorrect is a real bitch sometimes LOL

are you like your muses : I think my muses all have characteristics that come from me, something that makes them easier for me to portray, but as a whole I am not lol they are all different from me. Elijah here, especially.

Tagged by: my babes @wynterlanding and @velvetnviolentviolets uwu ❤️

Tagging: anyone on the dash who wants to do it uwu

#× мσтнєявσαя∂ × { ooc }#tagged #thank you my loves uwu

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