#【 ❂⭒ ༄ me and alcohol just don't mix 】 ‹ meme. › | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mesperyiandevotee · 4 months

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🏴magictrioinitiate-deactivated

Reblog if your name isn't Alfred F Jones.

🃏thekinglovesplayingwithmyballs follow

WE'LL FIND YOU JONES

🐺a-squared-omegaverse follow

As if he couldn't just lie, if he even is on this hellsite.

🏴magictrioinitiate-deactivated

He wouldn't cuz heroes don't lie.

🏴notafjonesprommy-deactivated

A hero would lie to protect his secret identity ;)

🎻sayakamikideservedbetter follow

THIS IS THE POST! ON MY DASH! I FEEL LIKE I'M SEEING A CELEBRITY!!

🗿givemegumgumdumdum follow

NO NOTES???????????????

🦪clamoutjamout follow

so i got like really hella drunk last night and out of what must have been a mix of desperation and hubris, I sent an email to Mr. Romano, askiNG FOR AN INTERVIEW OVER ZOOM TO ASK QUESTIONS FOR RESEARCH FOR MY HISTORICAL EROTICA WIP AND HE SAID YES???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🍖hannibalservedmemyownballs follow

Doesn't he like never talk to historians and w/e? Holy shit what kind of magical persuasive powers did your drinks give you and can you send me some?

🦖little-arms-big-hugs follow

I wouldn't say *never*. He's given interviews before, he just has a really low tolerance for disrespect compared to his brother. But with his temper I wouldn't be surprised if his gov asked him to not accept as many interviews anymore.

🍖hannibalservedmemyownballs follow

True, true. I still want to borrow some of OP's persuasion magical drinks.

🦪clamoutjamout follow

my mom sent me a bottle of that liquor mr Latvia made and i didnt look at the proof before drinking like half the bottle (mixed with pop).

also... I finally pulled up my big girl panties and read what I wrote to mr. romano...............

... im going to kms.

🦖little-arms-big-hugs follow

Forget persuasion powers, I want whatever healing magic you have that drinking half of MR. LATVIA'S balsam didn't kill you!

🦪clamoutjamout follow

#we're almost there folx! #RIP OP #nation person mention #alcohol mention

9,879 Notes

🌄cabininthewoodscore follow

UM. HELLO????

🤠redbreadrebellion follow

Yeah, Ch*rchill pushed hard for those two to get together, it's no secret. What about it? It doesn't mean they actually got together turn off your shipping brain.

🏴tw1stedm1nd-deactivated

Sure and America definitely didn't talk about it in an interview

🌄cabininthewoodscore follow

😭😭😭😭😭 The link just goes to a 404 page NNNNOOOOOOOO WHYYYYYYY

#usuk ship real is the only conspiracy theory i'll believe

132 Notes

🐸enby-froggy follow

did anyone else see h/bomber/guy's new video??? PLEASE someone put that man in witness protection or something before K*rkland gets him

🍝spaghetti-breaker follow

wasn't he originally supposed to talk about that one bbc pirate show?

🐸enby-froggy follow

spaghetti-breaker He was but he ended up going off-track after he found some reddit post that led him down a rabbit hole of research. tl;dr: K*irkland yo-hoe-hoeing isn't just a meme

🦐butisbugsshrimp follow

I'm more worried about dickland's teaboo white knights getting him tbh

🍯kidsishrunkthehoney follow

Lmao looks like he saw it!

#wait a min i gotta search something #THE VIDEO IS ALMOST 3 HOURS WTF #now i gotta watch

983 Notes

🪃callmyanxietyboomerang follow

dylan's collab with mr canada was just them trying to out-do each other with all the gay jokes sjflsfjsifhsifjsij someone make one of those 10 hour videos with just the cuts of that please? 🙏🏼

🪃callmyanxietyboomerang follow

SOMEONE DID FUCK YEAH!!!

#canada nation person #vintage baker man #someone send me the video i refuse to download tiktok

97 Notes

🎲dev1ld1c3 follow

If we try hard enough, do you guys think we can convince Mr. Denmark to do a girl month donation goal?

🛸area51searchandrescue follow

Tbh I'm surprised he doesn't have a subscription goal like that already

🔦berwaldsfleshlight follow

There's a rumour he's trying to convince Jones and Beilschmidt to do it with him first before he makes the goal official

#pretty sure those two dont need convincing

73 Notes

#hetalia #i made this instead of writing #if i make edits like this or the fake tweets assume i'm procrastinating updating my fics #i already forgot what i put for the links #no rickrolls this time #fake tumblr dash #dashboard simulator

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libraryofloveletters · 5 months

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Something Doesn't Taste Right

Kevin Magnussen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: alcohol and the consumption of, kevin is determined that he can do this, he's also got a heavy hand, (think 'just two shots of vodka' meme lol), something seems to go wrong every time, some friendly teasing.

Word Count: 680

Author's Note: those of you that have been around for a while know that I loveeeeee k-mag so if you don't, you're new so welcome to the madness.

Your husband convinces you that he knows how to make eggnog, no need to buy it from the store. His father’s recipe is the best of the best.. that’s if Kevin can figure it out.

"Are you sure?" You asked your husband, glancing over your shoulder at him.

You and Kevin have gone to the store to pick up a few things for your Christmas party this upcoming weekend. You stopped in the refrigerated section to get cheese and eggs and you came across their giant selection of eggnog; peppermint, cinnamon, gingerbread - you name it, they had it.

The carton in your hand, you showed your husband. "We should just buy it, it'll be easier. You just add the rum to it after."

Kevin waves you off, "it's fine babe, I can make it."

You were a bit sceptical of your husband. Kevin was insistent that you didn't buy the eggnog because he knew how to make it. He had watched his father do it every Christmas holiday growing up, he practically knew it like the back of his hand, or so he said.

"We have everything at home to make it. It's better homemade, trust me."

Your brows furrow but you give in, setting the carton back on the shelf. "If you say so."

The trip at the store concluded, you and Kevin arrived back at home shortly after. As you pack away the groceries, your husband begins making his eggnog.

You watched from the counter as Kevin mixed together his ingredients in the pot on the stove. You were still a bit skeptical, but it seems like things are coming together, so you figure what's the worst that could happen ?

"Now we wait," Kev tells you, setting it into the fridge after a while.

The two of you busy yourselves with some decorating for the party in the meantime. You and Kevin return to the kitchen a few hours later, Kevin putting the now cooled pot of eggnog on the counter.

"Is it done?"

"No, I've got to add the vanilla and the liquor but you can taste it before if you'd like."

Kevin puts some into a glass for you, letting you take a sip of it. You make a face, "that's really sweet, is it supposed to be that sweet?" You hand the glass over to him.

His brows furrow, taking a sip. "Oh.. I must have put too much sugar, the vanilla will balance it."

You watch as he pours the vanilla extract into the pot, his heavy hand in play. You've never made eggnog but by the looks of it, it seems like way too much.

Kevin stirs the pot, pouring some more into the glass for you. "Okay, try it now."

The overwhelming smell of vanilla hits your nose and as you take a sip, it covers your taste buds. "Uh.. I don't think this is right either, babe."

You hand the glass to him, Kevin seems confused but he takes a sip.

"Okay yeah, I see where I went wrong, too much vanilla."

"Yeah," you nod, drinking some water to cleanse your mouth of the taste.

Kevin turns to the liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of bourbon. "This one?"

"It's your recipe, babe. Your choice."

He nods, undoing the cap on the bottle. Kevin's heavy hand comes into play yet again, pouring just a little over a quarter into the pot and begins stirring it.

He adds some into a new glass for you, "okay final one. I think I got it right."

You're still skeptical, taking a small sip. At first, it was fine - the bourbon seems to have balanced out the vanilla and the sugar.

It was like you spoke too soon, the back of your throat burning when the bourbon finally kicked in. "Holy shit," you rubbed your chest, setting the glass down.

"What?" He takes the glass.

"That's so-" you stop, watching as Kevin takes a sip of the eggnog. It takes him a second but his face mirrored yours. "That's strong."

"Yeah," you laughed, "I think we should make a trip to the store."

Kevin nods, "store bought eggnog for now, but I will get it right." You pat his chest, "sure baby, just not when we have guests coming over."

#holiday extravaganza blurbs 23 #kevin magnussen #kevin magnussen x reader #kevin magnussen x y/n #kevin magnussen x you #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 blurb #f1 imagine

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rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos · 2 months

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Hi, thanks for answering my ask, If it's not too hard can you tell me your race head canons for all the Mercs?

You're the best.

Engie: BLACK. He is not white. no. no don't look at the game. or the comics. or anything else related to engineer tf2. you cannot see that man at night. he's too much of a southern-black-mother-haver to be white. who cares about his dad, his MOM was BLACK. Polite, mildly violent when he needs to be, intelligent? His momma not white you can't change me.

Soldier: Native/Black. Mother Inuit and father African, OG last name Domoraud, got shortened to Doe through Immigration; OG first name was Amaqjuaq, but his parents had to choose a name on the spot. He has many identity issues, don't ask. Never takes off his helmet 'cause he doesn't like his monolids.Very touchy about the subject of race because where he lived was probably nearly as bad as Texas in terms of racism, feels he needs to devote every waking second to America or else he doesn't belong there. Yeah. He needs a bit of help. Has a weird accent but he hides it pretty well. Wow I rambled there...

Spy: Black/asian. Wow I really just dipped Tf2 into charcoal, didn't I? Didn't realize how many of them I Poc-ified until I put it down on paper. His mom was an asian woman, very stern, but she had a soft spot for her gender-weird kid. Dad was a black man, sweetheart, but he wasn't good at caring for people. Mother was a ballet star and taught him, he fucking mastered it. Broke his hip and disabled himself for life, but mastered it. Somehow he dramatizes it even more that it already was, and what actually happened was already halfway out a soap opera.

Sniper: Native. Māroi biological and Aboriginal Aussie Adoptive. He's Native on top of Native. Family spoke Antakarinya at home and he taught himself Māroi. Like Soldier, he has identity issues because languages and cultures get jumbled up in his head sometimes. Hates getting told he can't participate in Aboriginal activities because he isn't actually related to his parents. "BITCH? I WAS RAISED DOING THIS SHIT?" Is very passionate about his culture, especially his Antakarinya, because that is a language two breaths from death.

Scout: Black/white. LIGHTSKIN. CHEERIO-LOOKIN' MOTHERFUCKER. LITTLE E-FUCK-FEMBOY ASS. Soon as he pull out that fried chicken he's in a chick's panties. No explanation because you don't need one.

Pyro: Black. Heavy Nigerian accent, even when their speech isn't muffled people can barely understand them at times. Doesn't have the best english pronunciation, but their voice is jacked up anyways, so it doesn't matter. Fluent in American and British ASL despite this. Big person, bigger heart. 6'7'' 265 LB person with a voice deep enough to hit the Earth's core skipping around in Kidcore Aesthetic™️ and putting stickers on everything.

Demo: Black. we all know buddy. Although I feel like the Scottish are so on a different plane of being that they should be their own race. Black/Scottish. Very smart and has multiple degrees in chemistry and he drinks so much his blood has turned into pure alcohol. Scottish behavior. He wears kilts often, but sadly wears pants under his most times because they're. yknow. on a battle ground. But I think it's a shame. Can you tell I am getting tired.

Medic: I don't fuckin know. German. His race is Germany. The whole country. You ask him his race because his skin is very swarthy so you can't tell whether he's a really tan white guy or a weirdly light black guy. He's a pacific islander/white mix, but he actually barely knows. He'll remember his mother was Polynesian and go Oh. I forgor [Insert skull emoji and a facebook minion meme about mortality}.

Heavy: Black/white mix. He got his mother's beauty marks and his dad's bulkiness. Weird genes, very light but he has very pronounced black facial features. Big nose, big lips, high cheekbones. He gets asked if he's albino more than you would think. People actually don't expect him to have such a heavy Siberian accent because you expect white Vodka twink or white vodka dad that sneezes real fucking hard to have that much of a accent, not the guy that looks like he came out of a Nella Larsen book.

OH MY FUCK I'M DONE.

#rubin report #team fortress 2 #tf2

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multifandoms27-blog · 2 years

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Chris Redfield pre-relationship headcanons

~*~*~*

Content: GN reader, as usual

Warnings: Alcohol consumption

Notes: Not a request either. Wrote this to comfort myself, I got some shocking news earlier.

~*~*~*

Meeting Chris is either the easiest or hardest things to do, depending on how you meet him

Meeting Chris at a bar would most likely just end in a one night stand

Meeting Chris on the job though would result in that sweet, sweet, slow burn

Obviously he'd care for you, on a co-worker level at first

Just a few "hey"s and waves here and there

Everybody knew Chris, he was the BSAA's "golden boy"

He didn't know your name until Jill talked about you and he was like "omg?"

He'd see you at partiest that a coworker of yours would've invited you both to

Chris would most likely approach you first, and you two would share some jokes about how someone was drunkenly dancing, get some drinks together, then call it a night

This would go on for a few more parties, which were usually spaced out. The ones involving alcohol are usually on someones birthday

After, your "hey"s and waves in the hallways turn to him seeking you out and offering you coffee or water, only after asking how you were

During the coffee/water breaks he'd ask some surface-level personal stuff, and he'd reveal some surface-level personal stuff. But he'd mainly ask about you though

It was a pretty slow lead into a friendship. After the fourth or fifth coffee/water break, he wrote his number on a napkin and left it for you

Once he gets your number, he's gonna text you whenever he gets off work

This would be the fastest part of your friendship - now you both can talk freely without the pressure of a work environment around you

You'd bond more over shared interests, make some inside jokes, talk about other personal stuff behind the safety of a screen, send each other memes, etc.

Unrelated but he definitely does not have his read reciepts on

It's not too long before he asks to come over for the first time, or to have you come over to his place

Regardless of where you went, you'd share sodas and snacks while you watch some movies or shows, commenting on it here and there

Between episodes or commercial breaks, you both would talk about whatever, ranging to personal stuff to things you gotta deal with at work

The times you'd spend with him outside of work is when you'd both start slowly revealing things about your past, so he's really getting to know you on a deeper level

But mostly its all smiles and laughter with this man

You told this man you liked flowers once, and he passed by a flower stand on the way to work, and bought a bouquet for you

Mans played it off as a joke smh

He's gonna start giving you and himself tbh mixed signals

He wouldn't realize his feelings for you until he attended a party you weren't invited to (the host didn't know about you, he's a personal friend of Chris') and a girl there started flirting with him

At first he was flirting with her as well, but a certain lighting made her seem like you, or maybe he was just drunk.

So, gently he lets her down, and then stumbles out of the party to call you

You were in pajamas, munching on some chips and watching 90 day fiance, when your phone rang. Sighing, you picked it up and answered without looking at the screen.

"Hello?" You'd said, annoyed that someone dared interrupt your show.

"Hey, s-orry, bad time?" Chris slurred.

"Chris?" You'd perked up.

"Yeah. Hey- can I come over?"

"Are you drunk?" You squinted at your TV, now no longer paying attention to the show.

"Ye- yeah. A little. Please answer my question, (Y-"

"Yes, yeah." You'd stood up, nodding your head vigorously. "I'll come pick you up."

"You don't have to, I can, I can get Leon to-"

"No, knowing him he's also drunk. And also probably banging someone rght now." You were gathering your things. "I'm leaving right now. Send me your location."

"Okay. Um, can we get pizza?"

"if a place is open. I'll see you in a bit, Chris, okay?"

"Okay. I love you~." Chris slurred before hanging up and sending you his location.

You stared at the screen in shock for a second before snapping back to it and driving to where he was.

#chris redfield x reader #chris redfield #resident evil #resident evil chris #chris resident evil

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walkitoffrogers · 11 months

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⍟ main ⍟ bio ⍟ face ⍟ muse ⍟ starters ⍟ wishlist ⍟

about:

This is a sideblog, and I follow back from my main @grimmusings. Please direct IMs there, since it's easier for me to keep all my messages on one blog. It's also easier to start interactions with me there, where I regularly post open starters and meme prompts. For a full list of rules, see my main. Honesty hour questions will largely be answered IC and treated as anonymous unless signed by a muse.

In general, I follow an MCU timeline with Steve and mix in comics connections/plots as needed, unless specified in an AU verse. All details vary based on verse, and I'm happy to write him into AUs and fandom crossovers. However, I do not include Endgame/Old!Steve in any of my interpretations unless it's a fix-it verse. Regardless of verse, I pretty much always include Steve's Remender comics backstory of an abusive, alcoholic father, but I default on his MCU history with Bucky and transformation into Captain America.

wanted connections:

This is by no means a comprehensive list, and I can roll with most muses as far as basic interactions. I'm happy to ship Steve with other Marvel characters and OCs/fandom crossovers based on chemistry, but unless they're on my OTP list, they need plotting and interaction first. There is never any pressure to ship with me, even if they're on my list.

OTPs: Bucky Barnes (happy to write and rewrite every AU for my favorite idiots), Natasha Romanoff, Natasha Stark Possible Ships: Sam Wilson, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Scott Lang, Thor Odinson, Matt Murdock, probably most of the Avengers NOTPs: Peggy Carter, Sharon Carter, MCU Wanda Maximoff (I will play against her, but he thinks of her more like a little sister), MCU Peter Parker, most muses who are significantly younger (I enjoy writing Nomad!Daddy on request, but keep in mind that's going to work better with canon AU muses, since Steve isn't the type to go picking up coeds. If he's calling them "kid," he's gone parent-mode, sorry.) Family: Dad!Steve is one of my favorites, so I'm always happy to play against his canon (Ian, James, Ellie) or OC kids Other: all Avengers, Kobik, Mantis, Logan Howlett, Yelena Belova, Howling Commandos

default verses:

catfa: An MCU verse with any events that take place during or before Captain America: The First Avenger, including any with pre-serum Steve, before the Valkyrie crashes.

catws: An MCU verse with any events that take place during Captain America: The Winter Soldier or relate to Project Insight.

cacw: An MCU verse with any events that include Steve's search for Bucky while he's on the run, leading up to and including the Avenger's Civil War and his time in Wakanda.

endgame: An MCU verse with any events that take place during the Blip or the second fight with Thanos. The primary verse for Nomad!Steve.

mcu: An MCU verse with any events taking place after Steve comes out of the ice, usually divergent from the above timelines.

alt!postblip: A post-Endgame canon-divergent MCU verse where Steve passes the shield on to Sam and stays in the current timeline like a character who didn’t just undo 3+ movies of development. He’s there to help Bucky and Sam re-adjust to the world post-blip and learn the ropes on being Cap.

616: A mix of 616 and headcanons, typically written for comics muses who don't acknowledge things like the MCU Civil War or Thanos. It may reference other comics events, like the time Steve spent in Kobik's mindscape with Red Skull controlling his body.

multiverse!madness: Various comics universes collide, whether Marvel/DC/etc. have always existed on the same Earth, or other-dimension shenanigans are at work. Duplicate friendly!

I'm happy to write these, but since they're more specific AUs, I don't default on them for asks/memes. Please feel free to request them.

mcu/comics aus:

alt!firstavenger: An MCU AU where Stephanie “Stevie” Rogers poses as a man to join the army after she’s laughed out of the enlistment office. Erskine decides to give her a chance anyway. Who knows? There are already so many big men fighting this war. Maybe what they need now is a woman. (fem!steve / fc: kat mcnamara)

alt!tfatws: An MCU AU where Steve returns to the past in an attempt to alter the timeline to keep Bucky from Hydra and Natasha from the Red Room. Instead, he’s captured by the Time Variance Authority and held for four months, until he conspires with Loki to break out. He returns to his own timeline the night of Sam’s Captain America speech.

castaway: An MCU/616 mashup where the events of Castaway in Dimension Z happen two and a half years into the Blip. Steve is abducted to Dimension Z, a twisted sci-fi dimension ruled by Arnim Zola and his mutates. Steve rescues an infant from Zola's lab and raises him as his son, Ian, for ten years on the run, and often ends up in other universes using the multidimensional elevator. Duplicate friendly!

dad!verse: Any MCU/616 mashup AU where Steve has canon or OC children. While I'm happy to accept children from any muse, please do not assume Steve is still with the other parent in the present timeline without prior discussion (e.g., I do not ship him with Peggy or Sharon and will not write him in a current ship with them, although they may have been together in the past).

dark!hydraworld: A comics AU set in Earth-85826, where fascist dictator Arnim Zola rules the world with Hydra. While the real Steve Rogers leads an underground resistance, Hydra is unable to isolate and replicate the serum from his DNA and instead creates a clone. Captain Hydra is raised on fascist ideologies and knows nothing else, until the multiverse elevator explodes and tosses him into various universes/timelines. (hydra!cap)

dark!winterverse: An MCU AU where Steve and Bucky both fall from the train and are captured and brainwashed as Winter Soldiers. They work together for decades until Steve starts to regain his memories. (winter!soldier)

earth-3490: A blip comics universe where Steve is married to Natasha Stark (Iron Woman). When he discovers the Winter Soldier file, he takes it to his wife, she has time to adjust to the idea, and the Avengers’ Civil War never happens.

hydra!world: A comics universe set in Earth-85826, where fascist dictator Arnim Zola rules the world with Hydra. Steve Rogers leads an underground resistance alongside the Avengers and his kids, Ian and Ellie Rogers.

superhusbands: An MCU AU where Bucky doesn’t fall from the train in the Alps. Steve catches him, and they go after Red Skull together. They’re both on the Valkyrie when it crashes into the ocean and wake up together seventy years later.

welcome to westview: Roughly a month after Endgame, Steve ventures into Westview to investigate and gets stranded there in a false happily ever after scenario.

what if: For Steve Rogers, the fight with Red Skull for the cube and the the Battle of New York are only two weeks apart. Feeling disillusioned by fighting the same fights and getting nowhere, he looks for other ways to help. When someone jokingly suggests he run for Mayor of New York City, he decides to give it a try, expecting to lose but gain experience. Instead, he wins by a landslide and is started on the path to presidency. (president!rogers)

modern/realistic aus:

almost famous: A no-powers AU where Steve is an actor, primarily the well-known star of superhero action movies.

bodyguard: A no-powers AU where Steve is an ex-Army Captain who now works in private security.

college!verse: A no-powers AU where Steve Rogers transfers to a new school in his junior year after the death of Sarah Rogers to finish his art degree

welcome to new york: A no-powers AU where Steve graduates from the NYC School of Visual Arts and works as a graphic novelist.

fandom specific aus:

fortune & glory: An Indiana Jones AU set in 1941 where Professor Rogers is sent after the Ark of the Covenant.

gods & avengers: An MCU AU where the Avengers are reincarnations of Greek gods, and Steve accepts the mantle of Hades during the battle of Wakanda to defeat Thanos and stop the snap from happening. (hades!steve)

part of your world: Captain Rogers is already causing a stir as one of the youngest successful sailors in the country when he learns through chance that mermaids of folklore are real.

safe haven: After the Battle of Wakanda, Steve walked off the battlefield, picked up his infant daughter, Ellie, and disappeared. Three years into the snap, he owns a quiet seaside inn called Blue Haven.

twd!verse: A Walking Dead AU where Steve defrosts at the start of the apocalypse. He's never known the modern world without the undead in it.

you jump, i jump: A Titanic AU set in 1912, where artist Steve Rogers wins a ticket on the Titanic in a card game and hopes to finally return home to New York City.

#mobile navigation #welcome #tw: parent death #tw: alcoholism

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greypetrel · 10 months

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let’s mix it up here, how about ❄️ and 🌈 for the ask meme :D

Hiiiii!

Mh, mix it up, you say?

Ok! Let's go with a WIP for the Fenris AU I... I started to write but never finished. And I honestly don't know whether I'll put an end to it, but it's here. And it's something angsty, ready to be soothed by the second. For the second I'll add a drawing wip, I hope you don't mind! But I'm kinda falling off wips to share, writing wise. x°D (and the ones I have are all angsty?)

🌈 Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP.

Translation:

C: "Ok, if you have so much to say about how light Fereldan beer is, I CHALLENGE YOU. A: "Aaaw! No, come on, I don't think it's necessary… How would you cope with tomorrow's Council?" C: "I insist."

A: "Aaaaaaaah. hiccups This reminds me of that time that bla bla bla I think I'm a little out of shape, ih ih ih! Shall we ask another round, Cullen? You know you have such nice hair? They do look very, very soft, like a halla! 💜

(it's before they got together and if he would have been awake to listen he probably would have collapsed) (in my headcanon, Dalish brew liquors from everything, each Arlathven is basically an excuse to share recipes and introduce youths to drinking. Refusing offered alcoholics is rude, each young Dalish gets absolutely trounced at his first event in drinking age. She' survived attended two.)

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing.

A month of less than nothing.

A common ground, by the stable, Aisling taught and Fenris listened and grumbled as he wasn’t able to do something she asked, or she made something look too effortless. It was normal, as normal it could be between them. She knew Radha was looking at them, whenever they were together, and she didn’t mind. A reminder that all they could really have was that. Polite and purposeful, together through circumstances.

Bringing him to Valammar seemed the most logical thing to do. It was for Varric, and they were friends too. She handled the trip in close proximity, carefully keeping her distance. She became good, in the 8 years they were apart, in keeping distances, she could manage it. Even if with him, somehow, it was more difficult than with all the rest. Fenris knew, she didn’t have to pretend she wasn’t sad and struggling and scared. He knew, as well as Radha did.

But, she couldn’t like Bianca, she couldn’t be polite with her. It was like looking in a mirror, without lingering affection. The worse was that the woman wasn’t even sorry, or not sorry how she should have been. Did she knew how many people died? Did she knew that-

“You’re not the one to talk to me about disfunctional relationships and not managing to let people go, ok?” Varric snapped, when she approached him after getting back to Skyhold for some confrontation about it, and she let slip a less than praiseful comment on the smith.

“Excuse me?”

“Do you think it’s a big secret about you and Broody? Because it’s not. Quit it and let him go if you want it, or do not and stay there dancing around the other like you are, dance around Curly as well at the same time. I really don’t care, but whatever you do, don’t you play the moral judge with me and Bianca.”

It hit her. It hit her close to home, and it hurt because she saw the truth in his words. But, she saw the truth in her words too, and if years ago she would have been angry, right now she just felt cold calm creeping in. The same that she called for passing judgements. And as Varric knew where to hit her, she did as well, now.

“At least when I fucked up, nobody died.”

They didn’t speak to each other for the whole week afterwards, and something cracked between them. It was ok, with Aisling. It wasn’t like she allowed herself to make friends anymore, she was ready for things to blew up, and they did. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t taken into account.

All in all, tho, she stopped going to the stables in the morning, and when she practiced with her horse, she just took him out for a walk, on her own.

It was better like that, Varric was right.

She was just the Inquisitor, she could bury her heart something deeper still, and ignore the question in Fenris’ eyes the first time she walked out of the paddock without a word.

It was better like that.

#ask game #petrel replies #cullavellan #cw: drinking #writing petrel #cuties coexisting

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sirenum · 1 month

Text

Temporary landing page

Rules are below the cut

BIO is HERE

BASICS

Vixen || She \ Her || 24 || Night Shift worker

I am okay with muses outside of my characters fandom! I love ocs a lot too!

Minors do not interact please.

short and easy rules, don't god mod, powerplay etc your regular run of the mill don'ts in roleplaying

Not intersted in Drama lemme roleplay my weird creatures in peace . I will give three warnings if you try to involve me into it. I am NOT interested

activity can be spotty and i do sometimes roleplay on mobile so my cutting is minimalistic the tag to block in those times are "mobile reply"

Trigger warnings WILL be tagged as needed, note that this blog will have mentions of horror, gore potential eye horror, mentions of trauma, alcohol abuse , abuse and drug abuse

SIDE BLOGS! please just send me a dm on your main to let me know what your side is. if I follow your side it means we're mutals ( just because sometimes personals clog my feed <3 ) but ofc if it is to show we're moots I will follow

MAINS & SHIPS

This blog is Multiship and practices mains along with ship-exclusives

Not all threads will equal Romance, or it may be slightly TOXIC because of Siren's personality

HOWEVER rule does not apply to soft memes , if both muns talk then it can develop!

IN regards to PRE-ESTABLISHED relationships. if you want one just shoot me a message and we can talk out the dynamic. make a thread for a starter of how they met etc <3

This blog does practice in Affiliate's // Affiliated and the affiliated blogs are bellow

Affiliated with :

HEAVILY affiliated with : @clownfile

TRIGGERS

Triggers & Sqwuicks- I will try my best to tag things , however if I do forget I apologize, I tend to just write and go with the flow; if there is something you need tagged ASK ME!

If I forget to tag something just DM me and I will fix it right away <3

As for me PERSONALLY I do not have any triggers

INTERACTING

If I follow you it means I would love to interact with you!

Be patient with me this blog is a mix of low to medium activity && I'm relatively (very) new to COD my best friend got me into it

Easiest way to interact with me :, I love writing starters and open starters of course I also love the good ol meme or unprompted asks

Ask box is always open for memes, Questions about character , Things you want to know about the blog etc my ask box is open to mutuals & non Mutuals

I love plotting things out!, even if we don't plot I am still going to reply to them

Please note that I personally do not care much for smut, there are chances it could happen and chances it wont however I am comfortable with doing fade to blacks as well. Chances are suggestive may appear but it'd be rare

Usual roleplay manners apply here, No God modding, Info-Modding, Forcing ships/ Relationships , Mun doesn’t equal muse etc etc

I AM NOT MY MUSE! Mun does not equal muse, please keep this in mind

Communication is really important if you want to plot, I am okay with my character being harmed! Just give me a heads up ( if any threads involve death we can plot it out :) )

MEMES AND WHAT NOT

Feel free to send in memes!, I love meme replies along with just joking around with memes as well!

Regarding this rule: My inbox is open to mutuals and non mutuals however INBOX CALLS and STARTER CALLS are MUTUAL EXCLUSIVE

I am not your meme resource blog , reblog it from the source please unless the source is dead!

I love making head canons for characters! head canon posts will be posted here under HEAD CANONS (linked items are marked with a click here ) and on tumblr I will make a tag! They are also here too!

OTHER

Discord is available to mutuals upon request

This blog is slightly slow activity due to my work schedule

Vixen || She \ Her || 24 || Night Shift worker

#rules page

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whiskeyxneat · 1 month

Text

Mobile rules and bio

Under the cut

This is a temporary landing page any info is from the wiki but this blog may be a lil canon divergent

BASICS

Vixen || She \ Her || 24 || Night Shift worker

I am okay with muses outside of my characters fandom! I love ocs a lot too!

Minors do not interact please.

short and easy rules, don't god mod, powerplay etc your regular run of the mill don'ts in roleplaying

Not intersted in Drama lemme roleplay my weird creatures in peace . I will give three warnings if you try to involve me into it. I am NOT interested

activity can be spotty and i do sometimes roleplay on mobile so my cutting is minimalistic the tag to block in those times are "mobile reply"

Trigger warnings WILL be tagged as needed, note that this blog will have mentions of horror, gore potential eye horror, mentions of trauma, alcohol abuse , abuse and drug abuse

INTERACTING

If I follow you it means I would love to interact with you!

Be patient with me this blog is a mix of low to medium activity && I'm relatively (very) new to COD my best friend got me into it

Easiest way to interact with me :, I love writing starters and open starters of course I also love the good ol meme or unprompted asks

Ask box is always open for memes, Questions about character , Things you want to know about the blog etc my ask box is open to mutuals & non Mutuals

I love plotting things out!, even if we don't plot I am still going to reply to them

Usual roleplay manners apply here, No God modding, Info-Modding, Forcing ships/ Relationships , Mun doesn’t equal muse etc etc

I AM NOT MY MUSE! Mun does not equal muse, please keep this in mind

Communication is really important if you want to plot, I am okay with my character being harmed! Just give me a heads up ( if any threads involve death we can plot it out :) )

MAINS && SHIPS

This blog is Multiship and practices mains along with ship-exclusives

Not all threads will equal Romance, Price is a Complex man and a Captian character

HOWEVER rule does not apply to soft memes , if both muns talk then it can develop!

This blog does practice in Affiliate's // Affiliated and the affiliated blogs are bellow

Affiliated with :

HEAVILY affiliated with :

MEMES AND WHAT NOT

Feel free to send in memes!, I love meme replies along with just joking around with memes as well!

Regarding this rule: My inbox is open to mutuals and non mutuals however INBOX CALLS and STARTER CALLS are MUTUAL EXCLUSIVE

I am not your meme resource blog , reblog it from the source please unless the source is dead!

I love making head canons for characters! head canon posts will be posted here under HEAD CANONS (linked items are marked with a click here ) and on tumblr I will make a tag! They are also here too!

TRIGGERS AND SQUICKS

Triggers & Sqwuicks- I will try my best to tag things , however if I do forget I apologize, I tend to just write and go with the flow; if there is something you need tagged ASK ME!

If I forget to tag something just DM me and I will fix it right away <3

As for me PERSONALLY I do not have any triggers

OTHER

Discord is available to mutuals upon request

This blog is slightly slow activity due to my work schedule

Vixen || She \ Her || 24 || Night Shift worker

BIO

Captian John Price

#ooc #rules #temp landing page

0 notes

importeduniverse · 3 months

Text

2/3/24, 11:56PM

At 11:00PM I feel irrationally upset. The day has felt useless and everything I do doesn't feel exactly right, I've hopped from task to task all day. I feel frustrated enough to want to be drunk, to just make a choice. I bring a hard lemonade, a bottle of water, and a cup of orange soda mixed with vodka to my room. The plan is to drink the hard lemonade first, then the vodka mix, I'd given it ice to preserve itself.

I decide to search online for journaling sites. Not apps, a laptop is the middle ground between a physical journal (I write too slowly) and a phone (it feels too artificial). I need an out at the moment, and I have no one to talk to. I try to make a new account with an old email. I'm told to reset the password and I do. The account is very, very old. I follow three accounts, one of them someone very important to me. I unfollow two. I go through custom themes, clueless about how the site and HTML work, but I do my best. I wasn't the one who got into Tumblr when we were kids. She's still active on a new account, so just to be safe I block her on the one I was following.

I shoddily customize my theme and am finally enabled to write. I realize that I have hardly touched my first drink at all. I take a few good swigs and remember the google search result for "how long for alcohol to take affect". Half an hour, so I'll keep sipping until I can feel something and start my second drink.

My mood is spoiled in a different way now thinking about her. I feel my mind relaxing, alcohol truly cheers me up, but now she is a thought. The descriptions of both of our practically ancient accounts mention death jokingly. We were 14 and obsessed with it. Her new account has reblogged a "I didn't think I would've lived this long" meme, and I know that it's true because she used to tell me about her thoughts. We're 21 now. When I expressed guilt, my therapist told me that I saved her life. That she really wouldn't have made it this far if I hadn't done what I did. I don't feel like anyone's hero. I see the same therapist again this Wednesday at 2:00.

I finish my first drink before writing this sentence. I don't have a single person to talk to. I'll go cry over the same person I always do whenever I'm drunk, the first person I ever got drunk in front of. Who made me feel comfortable, who I can't talk to anymore. Every time, without fail, I wish I could go back in time for his company. I only ever drink alone.

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pocketfullofoxes · 4 months

Text

A thing that sounds deceptively easy and is in fact pretty damn hard.

I'm talking about DRINKING WATER. My best friend told me about an app called water cat she was using to try and drink more water. My doctor has told me at yearly health exams I need to drink more water. I had a psych teacher who told us about a student he had who was really dedicated to eating a diet that had the correct amount of nutrition and drinking water who said that people think they are doing fine but people don't know what actually being hydrated feels like, and they were RIGHT. I have experienced drinking the actual recommended amount of water and sometimes I have mixed feelings about it. For serious.

Because drinking roughly the recommended amount of water does bring about a feeling of resiliency and a bit of brightness of mood but drinking that much water is a goddamn job. Humans are made of a bonkers amount of water and I had no idea it required such rigorous upkeep. People refer to "drink like a fish" as someone who drinks a lot of alcohol but my newfound perspective is that I think fish are recommended to drink less water than humans because oh my god. Water cat recommended drinking 72 ounces for my weight, activity level, something else.

There is a meme that I like that is a simple and cute reminder that is a bloom and it says "Get some sun, drink some water, you're basically a houseplant with complex emotions." I used to think it was cute and wrong in one way (we don't know how plants feel emotions, we barely understand how humans do and these things are not the same). Now there is a second falsity because that flower is a bloom and the amount of water humans require is much more akin to fucking bamboo shoots.

I drink less water now than what is recommended on an average day now because I forget, I've neglected my water cat app, and it is irritating to go to the bathroom that much. I will endeavor in future times to drink more water, but something that I definitely have taken away from the experience is when I feel uncomfortable or grouchy, et cetera, I check on whether I feel like I need some agua because I now know what actually feeling hydrated feels like and it is a thing that feels accomplishable a good amount of the time (find potable water, put in face).

I'm not going to bang on about all of the benefits because while I love researching my interests I can't really be arsed to care enough to investigate. I mainly want to convey that people talk about self care and just keeping a bottle of water around like it is no thing, but it IS A THING, especially for people who have an eh relationship with water. You know what I have noticed makes me feel more dehydrated? Drinking coffee and drinking soda which is a huge bummer because they do have water in them but, idk, I feel a want to have some water afterward, which means that I have to find a goddamn water bottle. SIGH.

If this sounds like it might help, awesome. If not, idk why you read this far, but I appreciate the company :>

#mental health #neurodivergent #neurospicy

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bestsincedayone · 9 months

Note

💕+ max/toni

send "💕" + a ship for me to fill out this. . .

combining this ship meme [ x ] with this ship meme [ x ]

FIRST DETAILS.

How did they meet? backstage at aew.

Who flirted with who first? max lmfao. before she even knew who he really was.

Was it love at first sight or a slowburn romance? he was head over heels at first sight. it took her a little to come around to being in love. ngl, she was probably in her head for a little about if he actually lover her or if he loved her ass.

Did they start dating right away or were they friends before things became romantic? never friends. flirtationship turned fuck buddies who flirted a lot and then eventually they started dating.

What was their first date? something with alcohol. toni loves her drinks.

Who kissed who first? max dove in the first chance he got

Who started the relationship? max probably

NEXT STEPS & HARDSHIPS.

Monogamy or Polyamory? monogamy right now but ngl, i could see poly with the right person. not sure who that'd be but i could see it.

Are they/do they plan on getting married? too soon to tell.

Who proposed? Was it a yes or no? it'd be max and she'd say yes.

Do they want kids? Who brought it up first? they're too young for that.

Do they already have kids, together or from previous relationships? nope.

How often do they fight? What about? they don't fight. they might bicker though.

Have they ever broken up? nope. it's never been that bad.

Messy breakup, amicable split, remain friends, ride or die or til death do us part? 'til death do us part if max has his way which he normally does so.

SEX.

In the bedroom - Vanilla, a little spice, or kinky af? they have a nice mix of all three with them perhaps leaning most towards a little spice, then kinky af, then vanilla coming in last place for them.

For applicable ships - who is more dominant/submissive? toni's a submissive brat so there's your answer to that question.

What is their favorite sex position? doggy style. that view of the ass.

Do either of them enjoy bringing sex toys into the bedroom? probably.

Favorite place to have sex? hotel balconys overlooking cities.

Most adventurous place they’ve had sex? backstage at aew. probably in the parking lot. not in a car though. he bent her over the hood of a random car, pushed her gear aside, and fucked her.

Do they do anything else in the bath/shower other than wash? How often? yes and it's pretty dang often. it isn't always sex but toni will touch him to relax him.

What are some of their favorite things about their partner sexually? max loves the ass. i think toni loves the attitude he brings.

TOGETHER.

Do they have any routines/rituals in their relationship? nudes. lbh, it's nudes. they aren't together? nudes. he's at a media event? nudes. she's at a show and he's not? nudes. they're in different rooms? nudes.

How do they take care of each other when they are sick/hurt? max will drop everything to make sure she's okay and she'd do the same. she'd probably even jokingly asked if he'd need his dick sucked and 99% of the time he says yes

Who is the better dancer? probably max tbh.

How do they like to spend time together? ... physical touch lmao. they just like to be touching each other. doesn't even need to be sexual. whatever they're doing, they're touching each other somehow.

What are their favorite non-sexual forms of intimacy? max loves helping toni with her OF content because of the views. also he stans a woman who makes that money doing whatever it is she wants.

What are some of their favorite things about their partner? toni loves that he's a natural entertainer. there's hardly a dull moment around him.

How do they comfort the other when they are upset? besides sex, i'd just say hugging one another and soft touches.

Who buys the other spontaneous gifts? max does

What position do they sleep in? toni sleeps with her hand on his chest and he has his arm wrapped around her. oh, and they're almost always naked.

Do they bathe/shower together? yep.

What are their favorite things to do on date nights? go out to eat and drink.

Do they still go on dates after being together for a while? yep.

What is their love language? physical touch.

Who’s a cat person and who’s a dog person? both love dogs.

Who likes the outdoors more and who likes the indoors more? both are more indoor people but neither hates the outdoors

Who’s more social? max tbh.

Who makes the bed every morning? ... max after he drags toni out of it.

Who likes to keep the house cold and who likes to keep the house warm? their house is typically cool. not too cold but not too warm.

Who takes longer getting ready? toni

Who likes scary movies and who likes funny ones? max likes the scary ones more and toni prefers the funny ones

Who screams when they see a bug and who ends up killing it? toni screams and max kills

Who is more technology challenged? neither are that challenged.

Who would be more likely to burn something in the oven? toni.

Who talks in their sleep? max perhaps?

Who leaves the cap off the toothpaste? toni probably.

Who likes getting dressed up more? max

Who’s better at tying ties? max. both around his neck and around her wrists.

Who recorded the answering machine message on the house phone? neither.

Who’s better at planning romantic things? max

Who takes up more space in the closet? probably max

Who has more of a sweet tooth? toni

Who drinks more often? toni lmfao

Who is most likely to laugh during a serious situation? max

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storm-allure · 2 years

Text

TAG DUMP;;

【 ❂⭒-----༄ waiting for the dust to settle 】 ‹ dash commentary. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ you buyin' something or what? 】 ‹ in character. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ clocked out check back later 】 ‹ ooc. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ surrounded in a cloud of dust 】‹ muse. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ me and alcohol just don't mix 】 ‹ meme. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ hold on I got costumers waiting 】 ‹ queue. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ Final sale; no refunds 】 ‹ max; answered. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ underneath the sand 】 ‹ mun; answered. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ I am mr. world-wide handsome that is my truth 】 ‹ headcanon. › 【 ❂⭒-----༄ a sand creation of my own 】 ‹ aesthetic. ›

【 ❂⭒-----༄ thoughts about the sand guy 】 ‹ musing. ›

0 notes

meanderingxmuses · 3 years

Text

This is going to be a really long post, so I'll start with the basics;

Hello, you can call me Nymph/Nympha/Nym! I'm a 20+ roleplayer with 5+ years roleplay experience, and 13+ years of creative writing experience. I primarily write on Discord, and I have a number of OC's that I like to write with. If everything in this post seems like a good fit for you, feel free to pm me for my discord tag, or like my ad and I will reach out to you.

- I'm a 20+ female looking for partners of the same age or older, preferably women only, mxf or fxf plots

- third-person only, present or past tense acceptable

- must be interested in heavy/darker themes

- must be literate

- EDIT: must be okay with possible long pauses. I never rush people and I need that same consideration. I also never intentionally ghost people, but lately I have been struggling with keeping this hobby alive. I'll tell you if my interests are shifting, but feel free to poke me if it's been awhile

I prefer to write on discord, in a private 1x1 server. This way we can have multiple threads as well as rooms for other things, like graphics or even memes. Its the space I've come to be more used to and I won't be making new accounts on sites I'm not familiar with.

I'm open to having multiple threads going at a time, that aren't time sensitive. I struggle with anxiety and depression so sometimes I'm gone for a stretch. I never mind if a reply takes awhile, either a day or a week, so I'd appreciate the same consideration.

I'm looking for someone who likes to worldbuild. I'm interested in several fandoms but I've found that i have the most fun when we break from canon and make something new together. I've even mixed fandoms before, and that's the sort of creativity I'd love to find more of.

Dos:

- abusive relationships

- kidnapping/Stockholm syndrome plots

- other dark themes (drug use and abuse, alcohol abuse, traumatic pasts, violence, more gritty themes)

- moodboards

- playlists

- headcanons exchanged at random

- interconnected muses

- dm me and talk to me about our muses. Which one do you have inspo for? Which of mine do you feel drawn to interacting with? Lets build something

- discuss your limits with me, i will make a note of any triggers and I will respect them

- use graphics, if you prefer to (personally I don't)

Don'ts:

- halfhearted responses to threads that aren't exclusively focused on your muse

- one or two sentence replies. Don't give me this. I put a lot of effort into writing.

- ignoring my rules and information

- godmodding

- unfairly op muses

- portraying real people (Youtubers, celebrities, Hamilton, ect. This is different from faceclaims, that I'm fine with.)

- incest

- underage pairings

- anything regarding ageplay, littles, or the like

- pe*ophilia

- "bathroom" kinks

- furries

- inflation, forced eating, or pregnancy kinks

Fandoms:

- animal abuse

- Supernatural (I have a heavily retconned verse with the winchesters and some specific hcs about Dean, but if needed I can just not include them. Im very open to doing ocs and am more interested in the world than specific canon characters)

- Detroit: Become Human (I have a couple canon muses but again, I love ocs. Please don't come at me with hankcon)

- Horizon Zero Dawn (I haven't done anything with this fandom yet but I'm interested in potentially exploring it)

- Star Wars (if you're an expert on this particular fandom I might not be the partner for you. I really like the universe from the early movies, books and games, but I'm by no means an expert. I'd strongly prefer not to touch anything from the Disney regime)

- I have a few random ocs/canon muses from other fandoms as well. As I'm not particularly interested in their worlds, I won't list them here, but I do have a range of characters to pick from, and I'm open to writing npcs if there's a need for it.

#roleplay partner search #rp partner wanted #1x1 rp search #rp partner search

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

Text

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 17

First time reader click here

TWs/Summary: Feelings! PTSD! Anxiety! Clint! Team bonding! Reader is a badass 😍 And comic book medical accuracy .

Un-beta-ed.

"It smells like a liquor factory in here," Bucky's voice came from the kitchenside, followed by noises of the team's arrival. Via portal, because the elevator made zero noise.

"I suggest you avoid the area around me and Clint. It might be contaminated." My voice sounded sharp to my own ears. I sat in silence for several hours, waiting for the team's return, while Clint restlessly dozed next to me.

My words caused the team to freeze in their tracks, owlishly blinking at me and at Clint laying sprawled on the floor, surrounded by plastic bags and biological hazard containment units. Tony's helmet swiftly covered his face - I heard muffled sounds coming from within, probably Friday's explanations. In seconds, the helmet retracted, showing an extremely worried Tony.

"How do you feel, Princess? Any weakness, any pain?"

"No symptoms, Tony. Just a fuckton of anxiety," I admitted, avoiding the concerned looks of Tony's teammates. "I almost drowned the room in alcohol but warned you just to be safe. Also, your alien pathogen protocol sucks."

"We made it so unauthorized personnel wouldn't get their hands on Thor's or Loki's blood samples," Bruce supplied meekly from where he was leaning against Steve, wearing a tattered hoodie and his hulk-out pants. "Off to decon we go," The scientist sighed. "Friday, code seven-zero-three-five-five. Pull up the data you gathered. In the shower." The man was exhausted, yet the call of science seemed to give Bruce a tiny energy boost. With newfound determination, he waddled to the communal showers, the rest of the team in tow.

Natasha's stare was truly unnerving. I was fully aware she and Barton had long history; the fact that I had to respond to one of the deadliest assassins if I had made even the slightest mistake - anxiety mixed with blind terror in me. I fought the nausea and the headache, focusing on Clint's hair between my fingers. His steady breathing.

He'd be okay. He had to be okay.

"You did great, Princess," The time passed in a blink. Bruce's warm hands were encompassing mine - gently pulling me away from Clint. I looked at Banner's face with unseeing eyes.

"I heard what Friday said and I can only applaud your quick thinking. You saved his life," Strange, sounding uncharacteristically quiet and bashful, parroted Bruce, hovering behind the scientist. His angular face was contorted in sorrow. "I believe I should apologize for dropping Barton onto you like that. I underestimated the extent of his injuries." The man sounded so, so guilty.

"I saved his life," I repeated in disbelief. Surely they were exaggerating.

"You did, malysh. For that, I am grateful," Natasha's hand found my own, squeezing briefly, before following Steve that had picked up a still-sleeping Clint, to, presumably, carry him to medical. "Come on, Banner, we need you."

Banner gave me a brief squeeze of his own, taking his leave, scurrying after Romanoff. I was left awkwardly standing in front of Strange, both of us disheveled and dazed.

"I ordered pizza," I said, just to fill the grim silence.

"Okay," Just like that, he snapped out of his trance, sitting down on the couch and picking up his food.

The others trickled in, Bucky, Pete, Thor, Loki, Sam, Wanda, Pietro. I saw it all like it was tinted by a thick fog. Their words made a jumbled cacophony when they reached my ears. Tony's arm around me - that woke me up, slightly. I focused on my favourite thing in the world - the faint smell of him, a mix of soap, machine oil and expensive cologne.

"She's shellshocked," Bucky suddenly said, pointing at me.

"No," I frowned. "No. I may be a fumbling idiot but I don't have PTSD."

Tony's breath stuttered in his chest. Promptly, I was turned around, a pair of intelligent brown orbs sharply gazing into my eyes. "Princess?"

"I'm so glad y'all are alright," I choked out, fisting the cotton of his shirt in my palm. "Even Stephen the asshole. Team bonding wouldn't be the same without his sarcasm," Hurrying to hide the fact that I was scared shitless, I did what I do best. I joked.

"Gods, you two are really a match made in heaven," Wanda's tired voice had 110% eye-roll in it. "So much self-deprication, almost as much as brilliance." The witch usually refrained from commenting on people's private thoughts. Usually, but not that day.

"I am relieved to know you hold me in high regards," Stephen's sarcastic remark made it's way around a mouthful of pizza.

Bucky's phone beeped. "They're saying Clint will be out in a few hours. No permanent damage, the gash on his leg won't scar and he's demanding Tony buy his saviour a cake," With a smile, the soldier read the text's contents out loud. "Also, the resident doc wants to hire you." Bucky pointed at me with a teasing grin.

"I, umm, I," Stammering, way to go. "I just - uh, I googled and I improvised? I'm not a doctor or a scientist, I'm a high school student," I replied, voice raising half an octave higher.

"Told you Tony, she's a friggin' genius," Peter sounded way too smug for someone who had a bruise half the size of his head.

"That she is," Tony's voice... Was different. It was honeyed and warm, blanketing me, surrounding me with safety. His arms tightened around me - not uncomfortably so, just enough to ground his presence in my personal space. I snuggled into him happily - he didn't mind at all. The cold glow and faint humming of his arc reactor calmed me. "Friday, cake. Princess cake from the bakery on Seventeenth."

Wow, Tony knew my favourite kind of cake. That was amazing.

"On it, boss." The AI immediately replied. "Well done, Miss." Friday addressed me with the same tone I heard in the lab. Gentle and understanding. It was so very strange.

We mulled around the living room until the pizza was gone and half the occupants were snoring away, dead where they sat. It was an unanimous decision to pull out the unfolding couch and form a cuddle pile of sorts - after such a long and grueling mission with one of their own facing the brink of death, all the superheroes were more than a little unsettled. I didn't exactly know where I fit in that. Obviously, all of them were close in one way or another. Even Loki and Stephen, seeing them get cussed out by Thor for attempting to leave was kind of amusing.

But it got me wondering. Maybe they felt like imposters, too? After all, I wasn't special. Loki wasn't considered a good guy. And Stephen was too much of a lone wolf. All three of us were comfortable alone, used to dealing on our own.

One look from Tony, Stark-patented puppy eyes, and I was making space for myself and for Stephen. Even if Loki insisted on grumbling all the way through, his exhaustion showed in the way he leaned on Thor's arm, using a weakly glimmering spell to summon himself a book and then closing his eyes for a moment.

Muted cheering broke out the moment elevator doors opened, showcasing a pale but smiling Clint held up on both sides by Natasha and Steve, Bruce half asleep on the blonde's other side.

"Looking pretty good for a dead bitch," Clint grinned in my direction.

I couldn't resist the bait. The boomer knew his memes, after all. "She's alive!"

He patted my leg, making his way to a free spot on the ginormous sofa bed. "Aw, pizza," He groused, spying the empty boxes.

"Should arrive in ten minutes," Bucky quipped, waving his phone. Then, the brunette super-soldier looked at me pointedly. "We usually order double after long missions."

"Duly noted, y'all hungry peoples." I said, filing it away for later. Thinking about more missions, more near-death experiences wasn't something I wanted to handle that very moment.

"So, uh, what exactly happened? My memory is pretty spotty," Clint demanded once he got his hands on some food.

"I also need to know. You're going to have to sign a statement and a mission report," Natasha stated apologetically.

I looked at her, confused. "Like... How many details do you need?"

Tony shifted beside me uncomfortably. I put a steadying hand on his leg - my palm was immediately dwarfed by his own. Natasha gave him a Look. "Fury's eyes only, but SHIELD needs to know how you figured out to neutralise a potential alien threat. Bruce ran some tests and this pathogen is... Pretty nasty, to say the least. It has the survivability to be classified as a potential weapon." Natasha's voice was apologetic, once more.

What have I gotten myself into? I was just trying to save a friend. "First of all, I'm not working for Men in Black, like, ever," I made the point to look her in the eyes. A brief moment later, she nodded. Tony relaxed, exhaling soundly. "Okay, get your reading glasses on. It went like this..." I retold the story, taking careful note to voice my thought processes as much as I remembered them. Save for a few surprised gasps and Tony haphazardly kissing the top of my head, the team gave me no interruptions.

Bruce was the first one to react once I was done. "But... How did you think of bloodletting? It's such an unusual solution," He mumbled more to himself.

"I've watched enough horror movies to know better than to introduce a foreign bacteria, such as antibiotics, to a person with an alien infection," I deadpanned, spying a satisfied smile on Stephen's face. "Worst case scenario, the substitution of infected blood with healthy would have diluted the amount of parasites or deflected their attention from eating away Clint's nerve endings. Him going bazinga from pain was my main concern," I admitted, the archer's pained cries once again filling my ears. The memory was still fresh.

"That makes sense," Bruce nodded.

"And what would you have done?" I asked, unable to withhold my curiosity.

"Sedated Clint while I examine the specimens," Banner replied with the obvious. "Then figure out how to cure the infection."

I nodded along slowly. "I considered that option but ultimately, I was too chicken to entertain the possibility of the parasites interacting with heavy sedatives. Fentanyl affects some of the blood components the parasites eat so only God knows how it might have ended."

Banner was impressed, that much was obvious. Tony's lips once again landed on the crown of my head, gentle and warm. More and more people in the room were giving me impressed, happy, grateful looks. It was strange and I squirmed in my spot, putting the half-eaten pizza slice back in the box, Steve immediately eyeing it in contemplation.

"Have at it, you human garbage disposal," I muttered, laying down comfortably. I was still shivering from the adrenaline rush and the soft blanket cocoon I shared with Tony and Stephen - their combined body heat under it - called to me like a siren.

"Are you well?" Loki noticed my state, casting a dark look over the edge of his book.

"Yeah, just cold. Us humans shiver when coming off an adrenaline rush," I remarked absently, pressing myself closer to Tony.

The engineer laid down, spooning me, tangling our legs together. We slept like that, all over each other, every time I stayed in his bed. It felt comfortable, like home, and nobody seemed to mind. Peter and Wanda, already snoozing away, were in a similarly indisposed state, octopus-ing their nearest teammates. Friends. Family.

My eyes drooped. My chest was about to burst with an odd sort of content - quiet, steady and welcoming. Tony's beard tickled my neck, breaths coming in soft puffs against my nape, spreading warmth all over me.

And there was something - someone warm in front of me, too, I could smell the sandalwood and spices of his cologne. Abandoning all reservations, I shamelessly wrapped both of my arms around a larger, more muscular one, taking note to avoid Stephen's scarred, sensitive hands. The flat of his tummy under my palm was rising and falling steadily, his breathing almost in sync with Tony's and mine.

All of us were safe and alive. It mattered to me, perhaps, more than I'd ever cared to admit out loud. As much as I refused to let them all in, for real and beyond silly gimmicks, they still wormed their way inside my heart, inside my brain. Not with long discussions and talking feelings - hell no, that's the hard and the boring shit, but with simply their presence.

Hugs. Mario Kart tournaments. Cake after I'd done good at something. Sunday morning pancakes for all. Homework. Sciencing together. Catching up on memes and just watching funny YouTube videos together. Playing Twister and Monopoly.

For the first time in my life, I had a stable presence. I belonged somwhere. It felt too good to deny, so once again, I allowed myself to be selfish.

✨ Taglist of my lovelies ✨ still open.

@another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading

#party favours #bun writes #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x y/n #bruce banner x reader #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader

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marauders70s · 4 years

Conversation

a collection of dumb hp-p&r text memes

dumbledore, gesturing: could a depressed person make this???

mcgonagall: your hand is literally rotting off

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harry: sometimes I feel like arguing with you is like arguing with the sun.

hermione: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM SUPER CHILL ALL THE TIME.

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pansy: you look awful

draco: what up bitch i just ran a 5k

pansy: really?

draco: no i threw up blood in the shower

pansy: that fight with potter really got ya down huh

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harry: hey ron are you okay

ron, wearing the locket, staring straight ahead at a tree: yeah i'm fine it's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired.

harry: hermione it's your turn

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sirius, at any minor convenience: everything hurts and i'm dying

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goyle: I once knew a guy for seven years and never learned his name. best friend i ever had. we still never talk sometimes, because he's dead.

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oliver: sometimes you gotta do a little work so you can ball a lot.

mcgonagall: that is incorrect

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james, during house arrest: If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

lily, from the couch: oops

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snape, at a christmas dinner: I can still smell her hair at night

dumbledore, pouring a generous amount of mulled wine: Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out.

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ron: hermione, i'm not using your color coded talking planner

hermione: we need to get good grades on our OWLs!

ron: there's nothing that could motivate me to use it

hermione: well, there's nothing we can't do if we work work hard, never sleep, and shirk from all other responsibilities in our lives.

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harry: Professor, I wanna go home early. Ooh, hold on actually, hang on. Yeah, no, I wanna quit and never come here again.

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ron: i'm going to tell you all my secrets

hermione: you don't have to do that

ron: I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks

ron: I didn't actually break charlie's wand all the way I just hid it and forgot where

ron: I don't know who scrimgeour is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

ron: when they have 2 sickles a scoop on salamander eyes i'm not sure where the rest of the salamander goes

ron: when i was a baby fred turned my teddy into a spider and i got so scared my mum took me to a mindhealer and they wrote a textbook about me

ron: i once threw a garden gnome so hard that it hit my sister in the face and began attacking her

hermione, looking up from her book: what did ginny do?

ron: she bit it and it ran off.

hermione: classic

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severus: no matter what i do nothing bad can happen to me. i'm like a white wizengamot official who pretended they were mind-controlled after the fall of the dark lord

lucius: I resent that

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sirius: thank merlin my great uncle alphard just died so I am fluuuuusheeeeeed with galleeeeooonsss

remus: I'm going to regret this flatshare

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seamus: i passed up a gay halloween party to see this troll. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Peverell Brothers make out with three Viktor Krums. It was amazing.

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luna: We need to remember what's important in life. Friends, unpredictable creatures, and school. Or unpredictable creatures, friends, school. It doesn't matter. But school is third.

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tom riddle: I totally hear you, but I also don't like what you're saying. So if you say no, I will release a giant snake in the bathroom

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luna: would you like some -

hermione: no! I am going to run for minister of magic someday, so no, thank you. I mean, not that I haven't - I ate a brownie once at quidditch cup party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any potions in the brownie, it was just an insanely good brownie.

---

sirius: do i look like the kind of person who drinks water

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neville: flying is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but merlin, at what cost?

ron: okay, you don't have to join the pick up game -

neville: no no i want to be included. i'll come

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james: What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.

sirius: that's not right

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mcgongall: I think you’ve got several options. They’re all terrible…but you have them.

peter: this career counseling session is getting a bit intense

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neville: how are you handling the...breakup...

ginny: I’m gonna buy some sweat pants and a Gilderoy Lockhart novel. Might as well lean into it.

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dumbledore, in the staff room, extremely intoxicated: Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?

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james: Goodbye, Lily Evans, my head girl partner. Hello, Lily Potter, my fallopian princess.

lily: i should have never married you. or at least made you wear a condom

james: what's a-

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sprout: I’m a simple lesbian. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and man-killing plants.

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sirius: A couple more rules: if you ever read a sad book, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no magic after breakfast.

peter: er i'm sorry this was the dorm assigned to me...

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remus: Hogwarts Library is headed by the most diabolical, ruthless bureaucrat I’ve ever seen. She's like a death eater but instead of avada kedavra and crucio she uses shame and shhhing.

james: she wouldn't let him into the restricted section without a note

remus, choking back tears: I AM A PREFECT

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pansy: I have never flown the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.

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hermione: If I had a stripper’s name, it would be Equality. for house elves and all beings.

ron: if i had a stripper's name it would be sugar striped candy pole for my -

harry: hermione, DON'T -

---

sir cadogen: You know, in the 1880’s, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble here at Hogwarts. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Morpheus Rane, a prefect in Slytherin house, and Wilhemena Batlock, a Hufflepuff seventh year. The original title of this painting was ‘A Lively Fisting.’ But y’know, they had to change it for…obvious reasons.

---

bellatrix, in the afterlife: i regret nothing. the end.

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harry: I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.

tofty: I'm sorry but you WILL have to repeat your history of magic OWL

---

james: Lucky for me, I’ve processed all my feelings. And I’ve gone through the five stages of grief - Denial, anger, picking on Peter, cat adoption, reckless dueling, cat returning to the adoption place, reading all Martin Miggs books in the series (what i was picking on peter for actually), and not giving a flying fuck.

remus: you can't say fuck

james: oh great i'm going to have to start the process all over again.

remus: peter, you'd better run

---

dudley: I’m allergic to magic candy. Every time I eat more than 80 sweeties I barf.

fred: how about...81

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sirius: I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

remus: this is why we can't date in public

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neville: I’m gonna get drunk and then I’m gonna order a three course meal where each course is made of dessert.

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arthur: I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I’ve already broken that promise five times. But I will not break it a sixth.

bill: dad maybe you shouldn't give a toast while fleur's family is still here

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gilderoy: I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really, really well.

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pansy: Use him. Abuse him. Lose him. That’s the Parkinson motto.

draco: I thought the Parkinson motto is don't look at me you whore.

pansy: the motto is really more like a chapter book.

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harry: You’re ridiculous and pureblood rights is nothing.

voldemort: wow

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tonks: I would like a glass of red wine and I’ll take the cheapest one you have because I can’t tell the difference.

sirius: cheers i'll drink to that

remus: put. the bowl. down.

---

eh, and just one for the road: “I wonder who else was born in Eagleton. Voldemort, probably.” – Leslie Knope

#parks and rec #hp memes #incorrect harry potter

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