#''i wish i had xyz on a shirt'' you can!!!! you can!!!

[oviraptoridae]

here's what ur gonna do. ur gonna get a plain tshirt from anywhere. from ur closet or ur dad or the thrift store or whatever. then ur gonna go to the dollar store or whatever equivalent u have in ur country. ur gonna get fabric paint and a sponge. ur gonna go home and take a cereal box or a cover of a magazine or something similar. ur gonna draw a design on it [or words. or print out a picture and trace it onto the cardstock) and cut out a stencil. then ur gonna use the sponge to dab the paint onto the shirt using the stencil. ur gonna do that thinly in 2-3 coats until it's opaque but not too stiff. then ur gonna let it dry for 24 hours. ur gonna cover that shirt with a thin towel and press an iron against the design for 30 seconds. then ur gonna wash it & wear it. got it?

#''i wish i had xyz on a shirt'' you can!!!! you can!!! #you can also use premade stencils u can get em at craft stores if u have trouble using ur hands and cant cut stuff out [i understand] #how to #squawks

[literaticat]

As a queer querying author, I’ve come across many agents who are only open to BIPOC creators, and I have to admit that I find this frustrating. Like it makes me feel *not marginalized enough* or something? Which is not a great feeling. I get that agents can do whatever the F they want , and my opinion really doesn’t matter, but I wish more agents would be open to “marginalized creators” rather than “BIPOC creators” which would allow

neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, and others the opportunity to feel heard—and fine if agents pick and choose which diverse stories they want after that point. Am I off base here? What are your thoughts?

I can't see what you are looking at, so while I don't NOT BELIEVE you or anything, I also am not able to know if there is greater context.

Like, are they literally saying they ONLY accept BIPOC creators, or that they encourage BIPOC creators to submit? When you say "many" what do you mean? Like "a handful"? or dozens? (You don't need to answer these questions, by the way, I'm just posing them so that you can know what I'm thinking as I answer this!)

I think MOST agents want all kinds of diversity in their query inbox. So sometimes an agent might just assume that people realize that and not mention it (but that doesn't mean they aren't open to it!).

For example, several of the agents at my agency DO explicitly mention on the website or on their MSWL page that they are open to LGBTQIA+ creators, but also all of us rep LGBTQIA+ creators and any of us would be happy to consider, whether or not we explicitly SAY that we are seeking that rep, provided that the story itself is within our general guidelines.

So why do sometimes agents mention it and sometimes they don't? Well, they might feel like they have to say something specifically so that people KNOW, like "I'm open to marginalized creators!" -- but then we get a lot of questions like "what does marginalized mean?" "I don't know if I'm marginalized" "I'm a woman, so I am marginalized" "I have red hair so I'm a minority" (I know that sounds like I am making up stories, but I promise it is true, ppl are wild) --

So maybe we'll be more specific, like, OK, I mean XYZ -- but invariably leave some group out, NOT because we don't want to see work from them, but just because we CAN'T mention every single point of marginalization that might exist, and then sometimes people think that if they AREN'T XYZ we won't consider them -- so . . . yeah.

(Honestly, I think that we will probably get complaints or questions regardless of what we put in our wishlists or how we phrase it, there's no way to please everyone and hopefully agents are being inclusive, etc.)

So with all that said - if an agent doesn't say "marginalized creators encouraged to submit!" or "BIPOC creators encouraged to submit" or some such, that doesn't mean they aren't open to those stories/createors. And if they DO say something like that, that doesn't mean they are ONLY open to those stories/creators.

BUT if they truly do say "I will ONLY consider work from BIPOC creators" -- it probably means they have a mission in mind and are committed to only repping People of Color (including BIPOC people with other marginalizations, ie, Trans POC, disabled POC, etc) -- in which case, OK, that's a space that isn't for you, and that's fine.

Just like not all gay bars are super welcoming to random groups of straight people. (Some are! But not all. And that's OK, it should be a safe space for their patrons and they can have boundaries.)

Just like when I was in college, I, a white person, did not feel like I needed to be let into a Black sorority -- even if the sorority looked super cool and they had awesome shirts and great parties. If a member invited me to one of their parties, GREAT, I'd be excited to attend and I'd bring my dancing shoes! But I'm not going think that entitles me to JOIN the sorority, or try to finagle a way to do so -- membership is not FOR me, and that's OK.

Just like non-Latine people should not complain that they aren't eligible for the Pura Belpré award - that's just not who that award is for.

There are lots of other bars, and lots of other clubs, and lots of other award opportunities, and lots of other agents, that ARE totally open to you - so focus on those ones. :-)

**

(ETA: This is not meant to come across as a scolding for OP, at all! Just a general PSA!)

[icewindandboringhorror]

idk if its just having learned too much about efficient conflict resolution/healthy communication or simply that I’m a boring silly person or etc. etc. but I often run into the issue of having to pause shows/movies and walk away for a while because I am SO annoyed by the way characters handle things in the most nonsensical way imaginable.. 

It’s weird since I actually always find it very difficult to relate to any characters, so it's not out of emotional attachment/personal stakes (more the opposite lol, I usually view them all neutral or negative, am only there for the world lore or sets/costumes) yet despite my overall detachment from anything that happens (often have no investment in how the plot actually turns out, etc) -  it’s like... just the sheer act of witnessing blatant easily solvable miscommunications or situations that go SO poorly is enough to gradually grate at my nerves 

(maybe it’s also that I'm a very problem solver/solution oriented type of person  so my brain may be a bit more rigid about that - like I don't ever really ENJOY seeing stuff go wrong, it’s not intriguing or interesting to me, usually just stressful because I can imagine all the ways it could have easily been avoided/want to solve it/, etc. As opposed to others who are maybe able to turn that part of their brain off and see it as entertainment, etc.)

And, I understand that for plots to happen, generally something has to go wrong, I mean usually plot is based on conflict (in SOME form), so I don't know how to articulate why exactly SOME plots bother me so much and others don't, but for some reason there's just a very specific type of story event where the things that are apparently meant to have stakes seem SO forced and completely irrational or senseless that it's like.. legitimately impossible to watch lol 

(I don’t mean in a overly nitpicky cinemasins style criticism way but just.... you don’t even have to be nitpicking details to see that it’s like... why do NONE of anyone’s actions or motivations make any sense and half of you resolve conflicts like a 5 year old... HOW is this meant to be interesting to watch in any way..?? like Flawed characters can be fun!! I’m not saying everyone must have 100% perfect communication skills, but there’s a difference between having well established repeated patterns of behavior due to character flaws and “Oops! The Story Demands That We Lack Common Sense At Random”)

#maybe it's the type of conflict also? I seem to not mind conflict as much if it's like 'character vs outside factors out of anyones control' #or the conflict is that characters need XYZ thing and don't have it or complex ideological disareements between characters that aren't clear #cut so they keep butting heads over it. etc. etc. but when it's stuff like ''character who SUPPOSEDLY implied to be a master strategist #routinely makes the WORST decisions imaginable' or 'two chars have a conflict that could be easily resolved with a simple 5 minute convo' or #character who is supposedly mistrusting and cold falls into traps and is easily manipulated by person who might as well be wearing an 'I Am #Evil And Will Betray You Immediately' t-shirt.. like.. hello?? i hate all of you #and it's often this on TOP of other things that already annoy me - like straight romances or etc. etc. #It’s not that I necessarily inherently have anything against cishet (straight romance specifically between a cis woman and cis man) relation #ships in media but I think it’s just something you get tired of seeing since forced romance (especially of that kind) is in #EVERYTHING.. kind of like with All I Want For Chirstmas Is You - like I don't think anyone thinks it’s an objectively awful song the #vocals are good. music itself is fine. etc. - BUT still it’s SO overplayed around holidays that when it #comes on most people groan and whine and moan and wish they’d play ANYTHING ELSE. Media is sort of the #same way when I start a new TV show and in the first episode cardboard cutout stink ass Male Main Character gives his first glance to boring #underdeveloped Female Main Character and you just.. know.. that there’s going to be some annoying romance or something you groan and whine a #and hope that they both blow up #OR WHEN i FINALLY actually like or relate to a character in ANY way and they ruin them by forcing them into a straight romance #any character I've ever had even moderate care for (which isn't many lol) is usually more like.. aro ace coded or at least usually #like the weird hermit nerd unemotional genius sociopath detached from society isolated whatever etc. etc. - you know the character #archetype I mean. and they ALWAYS are like 'aww but actually they're lonely.. some poorly written other character that they have #zero chemistry with must finally get through their Icy Exterior and finally they can feel Happy and Loved' liek guiejnhjknJKGBHRJGBEJHBTH #listen you KNOW this man (it's usually a man) is NOT interested in anyone and even if he WAS he would be some eccentric #old gay wizard or evil scientist or something but you KNOW IN YOUR HEART he would not date a cis woman.. ESPECIALLY NOT #THIS ONE *points at the generic romantic interest character that literally has nothing in common with them at all and is only there to be #The Opposite Of Them and Teach Them Humanity * .. let him be isolated in his wizard tower and HAPPY ABOUT IT you cowards #now look at what you've done to him.. you've tried to make him a Normal Human With Normal Emotions and you've RUINED him #BUT ANYWAY jhgibhj that's another pet peeve but not the main one I'm talking about right now lol #This is another reason I rarely watch stuff lol.. like i WANT to see the costumes and the world and maybe get aesthetic inspiration but.. #god... sitting through the plots and characters.. There's definitely a scale like some shows are actually reasonable OR are completely nonse #nse and every character is a dumbass but in a fun actually entertaining way.. but ..hhh.. so many times it's just like No.. I Can't Do This #long post

[rollingaroundin-bread]

Recently I decided that the fireside girls are phenomenal and deserve much more characterization than they got in the show. I’m very sorry for how long it took me so long to realize this!

Anyways to start off here’s some casual clothes since we never saw them outside their uniforms in the show!! Explanations for each under the cut as per usual! :D

~

Just a disclaimer that while I used every scrap of evidence I could find from the wikis and rewatching the failed pilot episodes that I did have to make some stuff up for these. In the future I hope to build on what the show gave us for more fully fleshed out characters but until then here’s a start!! 

Gretchen

I should let y’all know now that I did base their color schemes off of those in act your age! But I gave everyone a secondary color as well (if they didn't already have one)

Gretchen, according to the wiki is “Extremely Smart, happy” (extremely smart being unique)

She is also the only (known) one with the Saying A Word No One Else In The Room Knows Patch 

From that we can take that she’s in the same sort of archetype as Huey Duck, Violet Sabrewing, Frida (hilda), Clemont (pokemon xyz), etc. 

So I tired to base her outfit on them!

In this case it’s mostly Huey, Violet, and Frida because pokemon outfits follow different rules 

Violet and Frida’s outfits are more similar because they’re what I consider “comfortable” 

And while I love their designs I decided to go the other route!

The other route being Huey! Aka I wanted to give her a polo shirt skjdfhgk

Besides, for Gretchen’s age up design I think her outfit fits in the same category as Violet and Frida’s do! So we’ll get there eventually!

But anyways yes, I took the polo shirt from Huey then decided I should probably give her pants because she isn’t a duck where its socially acceptable to not wear pants sksajdhfgaks

So yeah a pleated skirt just seemed the right way to go yes? :D

Katie

Yes Katie is wearing crocs

Why you may ask?

BECAUSE WHAT ARE THOSE SUPPOSED TO BE OTHER THAN CROCS

LISTEN- I tried, I really did, to come up with something other than crocs

But I couldn’t hecking do it 

Well I couldn’t without ignoring this part of her character design which is 90% of what I have to go off of

Anyways from her wiki entry her personality is described as “Kind, helpful, cute”

This makes cute her only unique trait among all the fireside girls (except technically Isabella)

She’s also the only (known) one with the semaphore patch (that isn’t on her wiki but it is stated in bee story) 

btw this is totally unrelated to my design but I’m thinking what if Katie got into color guard when she’s older? skjdhfakasj idk I think she would like it

Anyways!! At another point in the wiki it mentions her “running gag” (running gag in quotations because it only happened once I watched the episode specifically looking for this) where she says/does unusual things to get a glance from the other girls

I’m taking that to mean she’s silly!!!!! 

Hence the crocs sksjdhfak

The overalls just seemed to fit her nature, and like I know Baljeet already has overalls but she’ll fight him for it k? skjhdsak

Milly

I’ll say here that Milly and Holly have the least characterization from their wikis which I’m very sad about

Okay so Milly’s  “Kind, helpful, Happy” (no unique traits), is bad with secrets (operation crumb cake), and has one more Help Thy Neighbor patch because she went back to Phineas and Ferb’s house after everyone left at some point

Unfortunately from first glance we don’t don’t have a lot to go off of character design wise with these

However!! I know another character who's bad with secrets, helpful, and wears a bow in her hair!! That's right- Webby Vanderquack (btw very sorry to anyone who hasn't watched Ducktales I’m gonna keep bringing it up because I love it a lot I’m sorry)

So I loosely based this design on Webby’s! Aka dress shirt thing (in this case, a blouse) and a skirt that I think is neat!! 

Webby’s design leans more into her nerdy side and so I made Milly’s lean toward sweetness!! (not saying Milly isn’t nerdy, there's just no evidence to suggest that she is so I didn’t lean into that) (also that would be too close to literally just drawing Webby’s outfit which I also didn’t want to do)

Holly

I’m restating that Holly and Milly get practically nothing from their wikis (Holly getting the least)

Like  “Kind, nice, helpful” -The P&F wiki on Holly

Go girl!! Give us nothing!!!!!

skjdjhf okay but actually there is exactly one thing we can get from the wiki

While she doesn't have any unique patches, if we look at my patch reference sheet below

You may notice that for all the patches that 3 people got; Gretchen and Holly have all four (Ginger being replaced with Adyson for the Rodeo Clown patch)

In conclusion: Gretchen and Holly are best friends.

Look I know I’m blowing this a little out of proportion, but they gave me literally nothing so I’m running with what I have

Anyways!! I’m taking Gretchen and Holly being best friends as Holly is also wicked smart!! 

So in conclusion that all adds up to I’m also making Holly’s outfit nerd-esq because I can

This time basing it loosely of of Satsuki from My Neighbor Totoro because she’s who I think of for an orange and yellow color scheme! 

(she also gives me Boyd (DT again) vibes from the color I chose for the shorts though haha)

Adyson

Starting right off the bat the wiki gives us “Sometimes comical, helpful, accident-prone, nice”

Accident prone gives us bandages

Adyson also has the unique patch of the appliance repair patch 

She also used to have the record patch for earning six patches in one day before Candace broke that record!

So I gave her running shorts and a sleeveless hoodie because I take that as she’s slightly sporty (athlesure but more casual)

Adyson was really much more straightforward than the others

I had an idea in my head that made sense so I went with it, y’know?

Ginger

okay but WHY IS GINGER SO TALL

I’m not even talking about how much taller I made her here because I was basing it off of the show!!! She’s stupid tall!!! 

And like I know Stacey and her mom are both tall so of course she would be too but LOOK AT THIS

I MEAN ?????? BRO-

Anyways moving on! :D

I REALLY liked her light blue and indigo color scheme in aya so I tried to keep that! 

I wish I could have incorporated a little more light blue but with the style of dress I went with that wasn’t really possible

Speaking of her dress!! Why’d I do that you may ask? 

I dunno I thought it looked cute! 

Listen- I love giving explicit reasons for each and every choice I make, but honestly there's usually a point where I have no ideas and go “eh its cute”

and thats what happened here! 

Thanks for reading if you got this far!!

If I missed some details or you have ideas please come talk to me!! I really want to do a good job for these guys (they absolutely deserve it) and could use all the help I can get! 

#fireside girls #the fireside girls #fireside girls troop 46231 #gretchen pnf #katie pnf #milly pnf #holly pnf #adyson sweetwater #ginger hirano #my art stuff #once again im mostly talking under the cut!! #I really want to do a good job for these guys so feel free to talk to me about them!! #also rip Isabella im sorry I didnt include you #to be fair she has plenty of characterization and plenty of yall love her #but shes important to these guys so she'll probably show up more as I continue with these guys!! #fun fact this all started because I was looking at the firestar girls designs for a personal project #and I wanted to see if there was more information on them for their personal wikis #which opened my eyes to how little these guys have on said wikis #which is a crime!! so once again sorry it took me a while but I care them and promise to do my best for my interpretation!!! #k I think thats it bye folks!! :D #phineas and ferb #phineas & ferb #pnf

[lil-pink-coupe]

Things I wish I had been told/asked by adults as a multiply-neurodivergent kid/teen*:

I can see you really enjoy/love xyz...what is it that you like about it?

In (x number of days) we will be going to (insert new place/experience involving me here)...here is what will be happening, and when, and how, and why. Do you have any questions about any of this? What do you need in order for this to be easier for you?

If it bothers you, it bothers you. I believe you when you say something is frightening, painful or uncomfortable.

You don’t have to try (insert new food here) if you really don’t want to- only when you’re ready. In the meantime, there’s plenty of your safe foods for you to eat.

It is not your fault that you got sick-not even if you ate too many sweets because you enjoy the gustatory input/you have a hard time identifying when you’re full, or you didn’t wear your coat outside because you have difficulty registering temperature changes/don’t like the way certain clothes feel. We (your parents/caregivers) will help you feel better and love you through this.

It’s okay to cry/feel sad/scared/angry. Crying/being outwardly upset lets me know something is wrong, so I can help you.

I’m really glad you felt safe enough to tell me that (xyz person) makes you feel sad, mad, or uncomfortable. It’s not okay that they make you feel that way, and you didn’t do anything to deserve it. I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again.

If you’re hungry, eat.

You are allowed to say no.

You don’t have to be hugged/kissed/tickled/noogied/playfully punched in the shoulder by relatives (or anyone) if you don’t want to be, and it’s okay to say so.

It’s okay to tell (xyz relative) that you don’t like to be teased.

Would it help if we set up a safe sensory area/a punching bag in the garage for you to make use of when you’re overloaded/melting down, so you don’t have to self-harm?

What do you need/what would make this easier/how can I help? (I know I listed a version of this earlier, but I feel like this question and it’s variants really can’t be asked enough)

It isn’t/wasn’t your fault.

I know that all behavior is communication.

I know that meltdowns/sensory overloads are not tantrums or things you do “at” me.

I’m really glad you have a comfort item/stim toy that helps you feel safe and calm. Nobody is allowed to take it from you, or change it in any way, and you don’t have to share it if you don’t want to.

I’m so sorry you misplaced your comfort item/stim toy-that must be so hard, and it’s okay to be upset. I’ll help you look for it.

No one will think badly of you if decide to do/not do xyz

I’m so glad I got to spend time/talk with you today.

This is a grownup problem-you can’t change or fix it, and we won’t drag you into the middle of it. Just enjoy being a kid.

Your interests are NOT bad/inappropriate/cringy/weird/childish/boring etc

The concept of “age appropriate/age-inappropriate” is complete bullish!t.

If there’s something I’m doing/saying that’s upsetting you, I really want to know about it so I can make changes.

Just as a heads-up, I’m about to run the vacuum cleaner/crush this soda can/run the garbage disposal, etc. (as a courtesy so someone w/ sensory issues can cover their ears/put headphones on)

I saw (something related to hyperfixation/interests) today and thought of you!

I love you unconditionally-you are irreplaceable.

Thank you for being patient/flexible.

I found a backup(s) of your favorite book/plushie/stim toy/comfort item, just in case!

I know you love your gourd/pumpkin with a cute face painted on it that we got at the grocery store last Halloween-it *is* awfully cute! But sweetie, it’s been a month, and it’s getting too yucky to stay in the house. Why don’t we put it outside where you can still visit it whenever you want?

You are NOT spoiled/immature/self-indulgent/overly sensitive/difficult, and anyone who says that you are is wrong.

You can read a book in bed or do some other quiet activity if you have trouble falling asleep right away.

You can tell me the truth, I won’t be mad.

I know you don’t chew on pencil erasers/plastic toys/backpack straps/hoodie strings/shirt collars to be gross, or because you’re a “baby”- you need a specific kind of sensory input. Let’s find you some chewelry that you like!

Aw, those are some cute stuffed animals you brought home from the flea market/Disney Store/bookstore! What are their names?

If a certain type of therapy makes you feel unsafe or like you’ll never be good enough, you don’t have to go anymore.

I’m sorry/I was wrong/I made a mistake/I messed up...how can I make things better?

You don’t have to wear “fancy” clothes if they itch/scratch/scrape/poke/tickle/bind...dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

I am interested in you.

I am always here for you.

I’m on your side.

I want to hear what you have to say.

Your wants and needs matter.

You are allowed to exist and take up space.

You are not “too much.”

Whatever the problem is, we’ll find a way to solve it (to be fair, I *did* get told this when I was a kid, just not as often as I needed to)

You don’t need to suffer just so everyone else can be happy/comfortable...you matter too.

Go ahead and infodump to me!

You are allowed to stim.

You are allowed to like things.

You are SO much more important to me than any material possession.

I’ll put my phone/device away so I can give you my undivided attention.

You can draw during class if you need to-I love seeing your little cartoons in the margins of the worksheets you turn in!

It’s okay to fail and make mistakes-there are some things you just can’t get right the first time.

If you are tired, go ahead and take a nap.

Take some time to relax/have a snack/sleep before telling me about your day/getting started on your homework.

How smart you are/how hard you work/how good you are at learning/your worth as a human being is not determined by what grades you make in school.

...and I think that pretty much covers it! Please feel free to reblog with your own! 😃

*= I intentionally titled this “things *I* wish I’d been told” and invited others to add on b/c I know everyone’s experiences are different, and the last thing I want to do is presume to speak for everyone-although if it still comes off like I am, I do apologize.

#adhd #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #parents mention #food mention #eating mention #school mention #ableism #abuse #long post #disability #anxiety #depression #mental health #self injury #autism #ask to tag

[ghoulciifer]

hewoo🥺can you write hcs on tendou and iwaizumi comforting their s/o who is sad because of their bad relationship with their father,like not in any abusive way but their dad is distant and emotionally unavailable:/

HC: Tendou and Iwaizumi helping an S/O with an emotionally unavailable father.

TW: Parental Neglect/Distancing, idk how to properly identify this trigger but I will be writing about some potentially heavy stuff in regards to parental instability so be wary of that if you wish to proceed.

TAGS: Emotional unavailability, hurt/comfort, angst

NOTES: Hi anon, thank you for requesting this, bby! This ask hit super close to home so I felt very confident that it was something I could write. While I might not have had these sweet boys to help me through my time, I hope these headcanons bring some sort of comfort to anyone dealing with this situation. And anon, if you yourself are dealing with this, know that I understand and I love you dearly ❤️ It’s not easy but it can be bearable. My inbox is always open, honeybun. (also we’re not gonna talk about how i switched tenses w each hc shhhh)

===================================

if you couldn’t tell by my url, i love tendou dearly, bby boy is my level of crackhead energy

literally the biggest asshole when it comes to teasing but i mean, you know he loves you

which is probably how he found out about your situation in the first place

y’all were probably joking around, making aggressive jabs at each other, name calling, the whole nine yards

“tendou you look like a fuckin’ troll doll, do not tell me I need a haircut”

“well y/n, anyone would be a damn troll for dating you”

you get the picture

it wasn’t until he made an off-handed comment about your dad not loving you that your mood INSTANTLY dropped

your chest got tight, your skin went numb, all breath from your lungs just WHOOSH

when he saw the tears slip from the brims of your eyes he finally stopped talking and lept to your side

he grabbed your face with both hands and started spewing apologies after asking what was wrong, he knew you liked to joke around with him like that but you never cried from something he said before

that’s when you sat him down (after some cuddles n kisses uwu) and explained everything to him

about your dad’s emotional unavailability, how you constantly pushed yourself in everything you did to get any sort of feedback from him, how you wanted to have that relationship everyone else seemed to have with their fathers

“it feels stupid to say but... i’ll never know what it feels like to be a daddy’s girl/boy.”

the whole time he’d listen intently, just soak up every word that came out of your mouth and nod occasionally to show that he was actively retaining the info

he’d have an arm slung around you and the other hand gently rubbed your thigh with his thumb, it only left the spot once or twice to wipe a stray tear from your face

and when you finished he went silent for a moment to really think it over. usually he’d be quicker with responses, but he didn’t want to potentially make you feel worse

he’d connect the dots during this process: he actually understood why you worked so hard all the time, why you got so happy when he praised you for the smallest things, why you always seemed to derail any conversations about your parents

he’d tell you that he might not understand what being isolated by a parent may feel like, but he definitely understands being cast out. he’d want you to understand that he truly felt for you, and you don’t have to be alone despite how your father makes you feel.

lowkey he’d probably offer to talk to your dad but that was just his protective crackhead slippin’ out, give him a head pat and firmly tell him no and that it’s okay

he said it gently but you definitely saw one of his eyebrows twitch and the look in his eye

he doesn’t want anyone makin’ his baby feel this way 🥺

once he managed to make you laugh with either that attempt of yelling at your dad or just crack a stupid joke that NEVER failed to make you giggle

he’d pull you into another hug and apologize on your neglectful dad’s behalf

“I know this won’t change anything, but I’m so sorry y/n... you deserve the world and more.”

then he’d tickle you again just to hear your sweet voice wail his name in a fit of laughter, it’s music to his ears

from then on he made the effort to check up on you, tell you how proud he was, how great you were doing at XYZ

bc although he couldn’t replace your dad, he would do his damndest to be your “emotional support daddy” i’m taking this term w me to the grave

i’m so so sorry but i never write for iwa so this might be a lil’ short or ooc pls don’t come for my neck i’m trying

but ooooooh iwa-chan

he probably won’t really connect the dots as quick as tendou would but it’s fine, it’ll work out

so you were tossing a volleyball back and forth at a park or smth

and this motherfucker was being so critical over everything you did

“y/n drop your shoulders”

“your feet aren’t wide enough apart”

“no, thumb over the palm, like this”

“HAJIME IF YOU’RE JUST GONNA CRITIQUE ME GO PLAY WITH FLATTY-KAWA, THEN”

this is why he was the volleyball player of the relationship, smh

but he just chuckled and half-apologized, making a joke about how he felt bad for your dad playing catch w you as a kid under his breath

boy did your shoulders drop then

your whole body slumped and the ball fell flat in front of you

Iwa gave you a confused look before seeing how wide your eyes went, the wetness steadily forming in the corners and the way your bottom lip trembled

“hey, hey, what’s wrong? did I really coach you too hard?”

he quickly walked over to you and pulled you into his chest, pressing a sweet lil kiss to the side of your head, a hand rubbing up and down your back

you shook your head and clung onto his shirt, the tears you were choking on making your mouth unable to move in response while your whole body trembled with the sudden overflow of emotion

meanwhile iwa’s just like ??? what did i do ???

clueless

but he held your through your crying fit and waited until you stopped sniffling and hiccuping to finally ask what was wrong, pulling you into his lap as he sat down on the grass

dude still thinks he just nagged you too much lol

you explained that you really didn’t have the best relationship with your dad, that your childhood was mostly spent playing by yourself and learning how to do certain things alone or through others

growing up happened way too fast for you and it was hard for you to actually enjoy it without a father figure who made an effort to connect with you, even now.

he’s got his hand rubbing up and down your back while you talk, cheek smushed on your head as he hums in acknowledgment ever so often

now he gets it.

he’s silent for a moment, then moves to press a gentle kiss to your temple before speaking

“I’ll help you out, with everything.”

He wants to be there for you for whatever milestones you have yet to complete, considering your father was never there for the ones you did.

he ALSO wants to shit on your dad for treating you poorly but he just keeps that to himself prolly plotting to do it on his own one day oml

he reassures you that he’s proud of how far you’ve gotten on your own without that fatherly guidance, and that he’ll never let you feel so alone and helpless again.

he’ll teach you everything you need to learn

“...and I promise to be a better volleyball coach, too.”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #iwaizumi x reader #tendou x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #tendou satori x reader #iwaizumi headcanons #tendou headcanon #anon i love you i hope youre okay 💕

[littencloud9]

a (long) rant on why i love promare

warning: contains spoilers

| the animation/art style

BROOO THE ANIMATION IS FREAKING FIRE I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING. ik it’s an action movie, but everytime a fighting scene comes on it just,, blows my mind. there’s so many things going on but somehow you know where and what to focus on and i think that’s really cool. also the colours?? the vibrancy and everything. i love love LOVE how the fire looks, or when there’s a sad scene and everything turns white and black and grey, or even the fact that everyone has colourful hair XD. even those scenes where the burnish are being used for fuel or when they’re dying/turning to ash/whatever you wanna call it, it all feels so magical. there’s a really special vibe in this movie which is amazing imo

| the storyline

as if this wasn’t obvious, but the storyline!! the plot!!! the characters!!!! everything is PERFECT. the part where galo realised that kray isn’t the hero he always thought he was, or when galo watches the lives of the burnish and realised through lio how terrible their fate is (ik lio said it’s a blessing but it’s kinda sad?? to just be burned up by the fire within yourself), or when aina learns about what heris is really working for.... gosh. this also brings me to my next point

| aina and heris’s relationship

okay i’m a SUCKER for interesting sibling relationships and promare DEFINITELY delivered. even though aina feels like she’s living in the shadow of her sister, she still loves her and it makes me 🥺. also, everything heris does, even if she knows it’s wrong, is all for protecting her sister. you can really see her conflict bc she knows what she’s doing is terrible but it gives aina a chance to be one of the 10,000 people to be on the spaceship, and she struggles between her morals and her sister’s safety. there’s also that badass scene where heris jumps off the building and reappears with aina in the helicopter like ???? okay queens??? go off LMAO. but yes their relationship was wonderfully shown and it’s fantastic

| kray’s character

honestly, kray reminds me of lysandre from pokémon xyz lol. he has this mentality that if someone doesn’t do something, the earth is gonna explode or whatever and everyone will die and he takes it upon himself to do it. ig he kinda sees himself as the hero?? (which we al know is wrong but whatever). and when he was revealed to be a burnish and he tries getting lio to join him by saying how he understands the feeling of wanting to burn the world down? or that he only saved galo as an excuse to build up his reputation? and then sent galo to be a firefighter bc it had the highest mortality rate?? he’s a terrible guy BUT he makes for a perfect villain and i’m here for it

| the soundtrack

OKAY COME ON I COULDN’T NOT INCLUDE THIS. THE SOUNDTRACK FREAKING  S L A P S. also you can’t listen to the lyrics of inferno and tell me that it isn’t just a romance song for lio and galo LOL

| the characters

okay tbh i really wish we could’ve gotten more of the burning rescue team. esp lucia!! she’s probably one of my favourites out of the team, alongside varys. she’s got this crazy science kid vibe and vinny (the lil mouse that’s always with her) makes it twenty times better. but anyway, i love how each of the characters have their own quirks and personalities and i really wish we could’ve gotten more of them

| the burnish 

as tragic as their lives were, i think it’s super cool how they all lent their power to make the core explode LOL that’s probably one of my favourite scenes in the movie. also lio’s generals? when they held back the ice just to send lio to the volcano in an attempt to protect him... 🥺 and the line ‘forget about us! the burnish's flame won't fade as long as you live!’ oh my GOD. RIGHT IN THE FEELS

| the humour

when lio captures galo and galo witnesses the life of the burnish and galo’s like ‘y’all eat???’ i have never laughed harder. lio’s FACE omg. or anytime someone jabs and insults the other,,, lio’s just like ‘you’re an idiot’ half the time and galo’s like ‘:((‘ LMAO. or the names of all the inventions and robots? it’s so silly but it really gives a breath of fresh air to the movie!! even if you don’t like romance/action, i’d 100% recommend it simply for the comedy

| galo and lio’s relationship 

alright, saving the best for last XD. there’s just,, so much i love about them? pushing the romance aside first, the way they work together is FANTASTIC. they’re both kinda reckless, but their fighting styles complement each other so much!! and when galo stuck their names together LMAO he’s so silly and lio knows it. they’ve got the same beliefs despite being on opposite sides (at first) and oh my god even the fist bump at the end was so CUTE what a bunch of dorks. 

romance wise, you’re lying if you say you don’t ship these two even just a little bit. throughout the WHOLE movie, even their first interaction where they’re just heavily glaring at each other,, the TENSION these two have omfg. lio figures out that galo really doesn’t know anything about kray and so he’s just like ‘i’m about to ruin your life sorry bro’ and galo is SHOOK but straight after that he’s like ‘the burnish. aren’t bad people?’ he’s seen the tragedy of them, even when lio attempts the burnish cpr thing and it fails and he just watched while the ash... fades. AND THEN HE DOES IT TO LIO AHAHAHAHA. but also, the way they work together is fan-freaking-tastic i said it already but i’ll say it again they COMPLEMENT each other so WELL. 

there’s also the part where lio’s flames protected galo and MY HEART... i think i uwued on the spot. to put in simple terms:

kray: attempts to kill galo

galo: doesn’t die

galo: lol actually my boyfriend gave me his flames to protect me so i won’t scorch to death and he’s also being burned from the inside so brb while i eat the flame he gave me and give it back to him through cpr kissing. yeah bye

KSHSKDHSLSJS

lio wakes up/resurrects/whatever you call it, RIPS OFF HIS SHIRT, JOINS GALO IN THE ROBOT HALF NAKED. this is especially funny to me bc lio at first dissed galo for being naked and now he joined??? LMAO THAT’S GAY YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. and then the robot flew off and THE SMOKE THING TOOK THE SHAPE OF A HEART DHSKDHSK I SCREAMED. CAN THEY GET ANY MORE OBVIOUS???? 😭😭😭😭😭

i haven’t talked much about it yet but the kiss. the KISS. say what you want about it being cpr but that scene SCREAMED ‘ily pls wake up i will kiss you like there’s no tomorrow bc this is my last chance WAKE UP’ to me. and when lio wakes up he’s like ‘...galo? you saved me?’ MY HEART PLEASE 😭😭😭. these two DORKS. and the little fist bump at the end oh god. it’s okay y'all can kiss we all know you want to. the smirks/smiles they send to each other.......... 

AND AND AND NOT TO MENTION THEIR DYNAMIC. listen lio can call galo an idiot however many times he wants BUT we all know lio admires galo and is totally willing to go on with his plans. ‘what’s your strategy?’ ‘grinning and bearing it!’ PLEASE that’s such a galo thing to do and lio’s like: are you serious i have to work with YOU 

and even at the end he’s like ‘you really are an idiot’ LMAO I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF I LITERALLY BLURTED OUT ‘but he’s your idiot’ AND ALMOST STARTED CRYING RIGHT THERE AND THEN

um this is WAY longer than i intended it to be but yeah here. this is me screeching over promare :)

#i'm sorry if my screeching doesn't make sense #i just love them so much okay #good movie #everything was perfect #you'll see me screaming about them for quite a bit #fair warning LMAO #Promare #galo thymos #Lio Fotia #Aina Ardebit #Heris Ardebit #Kray Foresight #Burnish #galolio #i've said it before and i'll say it again #i ship these two so hard

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

I've never sent an ask here before so I'm a bit nervous but I wanted to know if you had any tips for height dyshporia? I'm a trans man and I'm very short, even shorter than my younger siblings, and it really bothers me to the point of tears. I'm already turning 19 this months so I know I won't naturally grow any more. Any tips at all would be very appreciated.

Lee says:

Besides wearing shoes with thick soles, or combat boots with a bit of a heel, there are a lot of inserts you can buy and put in your current shoes, like the Peecock Height Increase Insole, which can help you appear a bit taller.

Appearing Taller: About Shoe Lifts and Shoes with Built-in Lifts

More info on lift shoes

https://www.tallmenshoes.com

Dressing Taller: Tips for Shorter Folks

Besides clothing and shoes, being on T and other steps in your medical transition might be able to help you pass better- folks tend to assume “male” if you’re wearing men’s clothing and have a beard, even if you’re 5′1″.  Once you’re passing more often, and experiencing less dysphoria overall, it can help you with the dysphoria about things that you can’t change. 

I found that when I got top surgery, I had way less dysphoria in general, which meant it was easier for me to cope with the dysphoria that remained. So if you can’t change your dysphoria about your height, double down on making progress with the things that you can change in your life.

And Our Dysphoria Tips Masterpost and Distress tolerance and Emotion post might help with coping with the dysphoria, and so can getting a therapist.

It sucks that there are some things, like height, that we can’t change in our transition and if the dysphoria causes you to start crying often then you might find getting a therapist can help you come up with strategies to cope with the distress. If you have other mental health issues, like depression for example, coping with that can take up your spoons which means it’s harder to cope with another issue like dysphoria too.

Sometimes we need someone to help get us started down the right path and provide a little help with coping if that support isn’t something we can give to ourselves yet. People think they need to be like hitting rock bottom to seek out help & that definitely isn’t true! Dysphoria takes a toll on your mental health, as you know, and it can help to talk to someone before things get more unmanageable and your distress builds.

And of course, there are short men out there! Here’s a list of short celebrity men here, which might help you feel better since you’re not alone in being on the shorter side. Wishing you were taller is definitely not limited to transmasc people. There are a lot of short cis men too, and a lot of them can probably relate to what you’re feeling.

Followers, any suggestions for anon?

Followers say:

neo-pronouns said: I wear boots like combat type boots and that helps along with creepers are stylish, some are super masculine AND they give you like 1+ inch of height

jaimistoryteller said: dark straight legged slacks make legs seem longer.

unnonexistence saidL shirts with narrow vertical stripes supposedly make you look taller?? there are a lot of fashion articles out there that are like "avoid xyz because they make you look shorter" but ymmv with that sort of thing

queer-cute-and-anxious saidL One of my friends is a trans guy who's exactly 5 foot, and he passes ridiculously well despite it. Also, even if he didn't pass, that wouldn't make him any less of a guy. Hope your dysphoria eases up soon! 😊

#Lee says #height dysphoria #passing m #Anonymous #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender

[the-first-date]

A conversation with Madison Leigh Mumma [22/NB/Cincinnati]

Madge Maril: Hello! How are you today? 

Madison Leigh Mumma: Hi! I'm great, how are you?

MM: Doing OK! For those that don't know you (and your work), can you tell us about yourself? 

MLM: Sure! I live in Cincy, just graduated with a BFA, and for the most part consider myself an artist. I recently realized that I actually have no desire to go back to school so now I'm just working in coffee and saving up money to move. Oh, also, my pronouns are they/them! And I'm a Pisces!

MM: Oo, were you planning on going back to school before? And move where?

MLM: Yeah, I was dead set on going into critical theory and getting a PhD, but it took a break from academia for me to realize that it exhausts me way too much to be healthy. I'm thinking east coast, maybe Providence or Hadley?? 

MM: Well I don't know what critical theory is and I don't know where Hadley is but I have heard of Providence! 

MLM: It's very broad! I think I was mostly attracted to the idea of arguing and criticizing for a living.

MM: Pisces!!! 

MLM: EXACTLY.

MM: I love it. 

MLM: With an Aries fuckin moon, lmao. Constant combat.

MM: WOW. Rising?

MLM: Also Pisces!! Pisces Sun, Rising, Mercury, and Venus.

MM: Omg, that's so intense — what's it like for you?

MLM: Like you said — VERY intense. I'm either 0% or 100% and that can be... a lot. But I think it's exciting to feel everything as much as possible, too!

MM: Said like a true blue pisces. OK so seamless transition: What do you wear on the first date? And follow up: Do you think it's reflective of your sign?

MLM: I usually wear a lot of black and let my accessories do the talking — so on a first date I'd probably wear a trusty black velvet shirt, high-waisted skinny jeans with a cool belt, and Docs. I'm very superstitious and a heavy believer in luck so I'd be wearing aquamarine and maybe some red jasper, dagger earrings, and a pin or two. I think that makes sense as a Pisces — I have a solid base but otherwise can be pretty fluid.

MM: What do aquamarine and red jasper have to do with luck?

MLM: Aquamarine symbolizes courage, protection, and is meant to enhance communication (and it's my birthstone!). Red Jasper is the stone of ~empowerment~, I actually started wearing it because a friend told me it reminded them of my "fighting spirit.”

MM: That's so interesting. And I've seen your dagger earrings on IG before I think! Where did you get them, and what do they mean to you? 

MLM: My friend gave them to me as a gift! I like that they're elegant but still a little spicy. They feel like they go with the jasper in that respect — like there’s beauty in self-protection and putting yourself first.

MM: Completely agree. And it goes with the black outfit, too. Why a black shirt?

MLM: Black seems very secure and calm to me, plus it's always flattering and the velvet elevates just a liiiitle above a T-shirt.

MM: There's a lot of emotion in your outfit. What are you typically feeling on a date, if you can make it generic?

MLM: I have to be fairly comfortable talking to somebody before I go on a date with them, and I'm very selective about who I spend my time with. So at that point I'm usually really excited to see if there’s any **spark**.

MM: That's so opposite from me lol. When I'm single, I just like to go out and ~experience. 

MLM: Ahh sometimes I really wish I could do that! I mean, I COULD but I think it goes back to the Pisces/emotions thing. I exhaust myself so fast!

MM: How so, if you don't mind me asking?

MLM: Well, I tend to daydream a bit so I build up my ideas of strangers around their potential instead of what I know to be reality, and that can spiral real fast. I actually deleted Tinder this summer and made a sort of romantic vision board to break that habit.

MM: Tell me more about this mood board.

MLM: It's basically an incomplete list of things that are valuable to me in a partner, and things that I can't/won't compromise on. A couple of examples are like, being considerate and independent. Also, you can't be a cop lover. In the past I've just been attracted to people that make me beg for their affection because it feels like I'm winning something, but that high isn't sustainable or worth it! Having a physical list keeps me accountable.

MM: My mom actually told me to do the same thing when I was looking for a partner! So you have her sage wisdom behind you. I imagine it helps you reality check during the infatuation stage? Like oh, they're cute but they do XYZ and I promised myself that's a no-go.

MLM: Aw yay!! YES definitely, that actually just happened this past week. I had a crush on someone I don't really know and realized I actually just like the attention.

MM: God, preach. And also like, that's a deep thought, and kind of a hard one to unpack. How did it feel to realize that? 

MLM: Honestly, really good and kind of relieving! It took a lot of conscious effort to get to this point and it was like "A-HA! I am not a slave to my impulses! Incredible!"

MM: I'm envious that you were able to realize that all right out of college. I feel like post graduation was my most murky, in-my-own-head time, especially romantically.

MLM: It was definitely rough. I went sober this January and I don't think I would have been able to make this much personal progress without that. Once I made that change it kind of had to be all or nothing.

MM: Congratulations on your sobriety!! 

MLM: Thank you!! ❤

MM: I've done periods of sobriety, but had long-term partners for all of them iirc. What's being on the dating scene like when you're not drinking? I really can't imagine it.

MLM: It definitely slims down the pool, lol. I didn't realize how much of my social life involved drinking before, and I'm not currently in a place in my sobriety where I could be involved with somebody who drinks. That plus the fact that I deeply enjoy alone time has meant I go out way less. But I'm a lot kinder and intentional in the interactions I have now and generally enjoy myself more so I think it all balanced out!

MM: You know, I don't think I've ever heard someone say they really enjoy alone time. I think most people tolerate it at best. With so much changing and blossoming internally, do you think how you present yourself to the world through your personal style has shifted, too? 

MLM: I relish it! I think my style has become slightly less chaotic, maybe a bit more monochrome. This sounds super corny, but now that I've gained some self-confidence and am more stable I don't use my clothes to speak for me, hahaha.

MM: It's not corny at all!! I've been ruminating on that lately, too. I used to look in my closet and think of it as costume pieces.

MLM: Yesss! 

MM: Also I'm now realizing it's been like almost two hours somehow?? 

MLM: Time is not real!

MM: I'll wrap this up so you can get back to your evening! Do you have any social media/online places you want to shout out for people to follow? 

MLM: Ooh yeah! I run @groundscoresofficial on Insta, and post my art at @chaoskewpie! You can find my personal through either of those but I mostly post cats and my roommates, ha. Thanks so much for having me in your online space :^))

MM: Thank you for coming to hang out at the digital pad!! 

#first date #fashion blog #style

[popopretty]

i-STAR Festival (03.28.2019)

I went to i-STAR festival yesterday. It was not a normal live event but more like a music festival with a lot of artists joining in. They performed in 6 different venues around the Shibuya area, each artist performes in 35 minutes, according to a timetable. So you can choose which one you want to see and move between different venues the whole time.

For every ticket you are given a wristband which grants you access to all venues.

There is a cafe where they sells the goods, and serves collab food and drink menu. To be honest, apart from the names, the foods in the menu are just normal food lol xD I ate Piko’s vegetable curry and it was pretty nice even though I would prefer some more meat in it xD

They have T-shirts, and gachas for sales. That was an evil gacha as there are a total of 104 types (wtf). You can either get a badge with the name of your favourite artist, or u can get a masking tape or a ring or a hairband though they are rarer.

I pulled it 10 times and of course Piko didnt come out lol but luckily if you pull 10 times you will get to choose one badge of the artist you like. I also managed to exchange some with other people and in the end I got Piko badge with 2 masking tapes of the blue team with Piko in it xD

As for the actual performance, Piko appeared in 3 stages yesterday:

1. In his solo stage, he sang:

- Ghost Rule

- Dappo Rock

- Oboroduki

- Koi wa sensou (Love is War)

- Lost one’s Weeping

- Haikei Doppelganger

2. The special collab stage, he sang:

- Platonic girl with kradness

- Loki with alfakyuu

I have to say alfakyuu and Piko must be secret siblings loll. She showed up wearing the same outer coat as Piko and they were teasing each other in the MC part lol. Piko was like “I’m the cutest here”, and alfakyuu was like “Yeah yeah ugly” xD Then they sang Loki, and in the part where the lyrics said “Selfy”, alfa turned on her camera and they did a real selfy with the audiences. That one was so blurry cuz they were in a rush so they decided to take a proper one later. And I can actually see my face in it lol

3. MUSICARA stage

This is the same MUSICARA team that held the live back in January. They have Kony as the host, cleanero, Piko, Yuuto, NORISTRY and Irie.

Piko sang Yoshiwara Lament in this. He was playing the role of the okama bar owner as in the actual MUSICARA live lol.

This is a stage I enjoyed a lot. Apart from Kony, cleanero, Piko who I knew pretty well, everyone else is really nice and cute. Irie impressed me with his cheerful attitude and all his songs are upbeat and refreshing. NORISTRY sang the best ballad version of Shoujorei, and Yuuto also sang Tabacco which is my favorite song ;;

In the end, the whole team sang a cover of the song SHAKE by SMAP. They are all so amazing and I stood so close to stage I could see them so well :”>

That was it for i-STAR fes. It was really fun and I wish I had more time to see other artists (I watched alfakyuu solo stage and Underbar too but that would be too long to include in here). After XYZ and i-STAR in two days my body is aching everywhere and the wristband from yesterday is still on my wrist cuz I don’t know how to take it off lol

#piko #i-star festival #live report #musicara #alfakyuu

[readingwebcomics]

Analyzing Questionable Content: Pages 151-200

High school bully or not, I’d like to reiterate the fact that Dora’s presence is so terrifying that it can repel a trained government agent. That’s a level of badass we should all strive to be.

…I mean like, don’t actually beat people up and steal their cigarettes, lung cancer is bad. But still!

Before getting into things, I’d like to open with a little bit of bookkeeping: First, as was pointed out to me by at least two different people, I COMPLETELY misread #123 – it was Marten who was helping Steve out on a date, not the other way around. This was completely my bad, so I personally retract everything I said about Jeph’s timescale.

Secondly, on my point on Dora’s identity crisis, user Scarlet Manuka had this to say:

For the time frame of Dora's goth phase, I think that Jeph is actually trying to present this as a genuine identity crisis for Dora - but it's also likely one that's been a long time building up. She's probably been becoming increasingly disenchanted with it for the last couple of years, and given that Raven complains that she's missed fifteen or so meetings, it looks like she's already subconsciously let it go quite some time in the past. I think we're seeing more the conscious realisation of a process that's already happened. In many ways that's what an identity crisis is: the realisation that the slow incremental changes we all experience every day have added up into something big while you weren't looking, and that something you thought was part of you really isn't any more.

That’s a perfectly fair point and one I didn’t consider. Thanks for bringing this up, under this light the time frame of Dora’s realization and her gradual shift into a different identity over the course of the next few comics makes perfect sense.

Finally, it was pointed out to me by Marco on the QC Forums that it’s only fair to link to the comic itself in these posts. While I had figured it was really simple to find the comic for whoever’s reading it considering it’s one of the biggest, longest running webcomics out there, they do have a point that I at least owe it to supply links to the site in these posts. So from now on, the dumb intro blurb to each of my posts will hyperlink to the first comic in the batch I’ll be talking about. That way, you can read along with the analysis if you so wish. Cool? Cool.

Now with that all out of the way, let’s move on to the analysis. Agent Turing has nope’d out and Dora saw herself out, letting Marten know that if he buys her dinner she’ll call it even.

This is a weird case of me totally getting WHY Jeph’s going this particular direction – he needs Marten and Faye at an ice cream shop to reveal a bit more about Faye’s backstory, which we’ll be touching on a bit later – but the particular setup for doing this feels… off. This right here reads like a textbook case of a writer going “Fuck, how do I get these characters to do XYZ…” and this being the best solution they could come up with. What’s worse about this is that only a few panels later, Jeph offers a much better alternative:

Literally all he had to do was have Faye be the one to bring this up: Instead of the panel with Marten blatantly asking “So THAT happened, what do you want to do now?” have Faye be the one to bring up that Marten owes her a little something for helping out with the situation, he brings up the ice cream parlor and then the rest of the comic goes on as normal. This may sound pedantic, but it’s a case where just a slight change in wording makes all the difference between sounding contrived and sounding natural.

I have… issues with this comic.

On one hand, Faye is opening up more about her past. A small, innocuous thing spurred her on to open up a little more to Marten, the reminder cracking her mask and showing just how much trauma she’s really containing within. You can tell this is more than just “bringing back memories” – his death had a profound impact on her, there’s something she’s not wanting to bring up or discuss but is being partially dragged to the surface. This is good character writing, and an amazing step in Faye’s character arc. It spurs curiosity, sparks intrigue, makes you WANT to keep reading to see the next time Faye’s mask cracks because you want to see what she’s hiding underneath it.

On the other hand… there’s no nice way to say this – at this point, Jeph is not talented enough at drawing to portray this from an imagery standpoint. The faces are too stiff, the expressions to stock. Faye doesn’t look like tears are escaping from her despite her best efforts to keep a straight face, she looks like she’s mildly disinterested and a blue line to represent tears was drawn on top of her face. Writing can take you far, but the thing about comics is that the written word is only half of the story. Anything you sell with words, you need to also be able to sell with expressions, with physicality and staging.

I’m not an expert in art – not by a LONG shot, I couldn’t draw a comic to save my life – so I can’t exactly offer any advice on how he could’ve made this work better. I’m at least glad to say that with time Jeph came to improve his artistic style, making moments like this feel a lot more natural down the road. He eventually gets comfortable enough with his drawings that he’s able to tell a story using JUST body language, which is admirable. Clearly, we’re not there yet… and unfortunately, it hurts the mood that this comic is trying to sell.

After a week of guest comics, we continue the story with Faye sharing stories about her childhood with Marten, showing just how comfortable she’s become around him that she feels at ease sharing details about her past she likely wouldn’t share otherwise.

Oh, and we’ve got some revelations about Marten’s past here. The Thanksgiving comic where he talks about how his family drives him crazy is starting to make more sense now, isn’t it?

Here, we see three things displayed. First, the fraction used in Marten’s dialogue instead of just saying “half”. I… don’t get why that is. It makes me irrationally angry though. I’m aware that’s fully on me.

Second, this serves to showcase both Marten’s blasé attitude about his strange upbringing and offer potentially an expiation as to why he seems so passive about everything. I’ve offered up the idea in a previous post that when he goes out and makes a choice, it’s enough to completely shift his entire world, so that may have served to encourage him not to not want to rock the boat and keep his head low. This, however, might serve as an alternative explanation, or at least another piece of the puzzle – growing up in a… let’s call it “untraditional” household where his parents were clearly quite open about what they were doing with his son, the fact that Marten grew up to be rather milquetoast serves to make a certain degree of sense.

Third, Marten’s being sassy. I like when Marten’s sassy. As I said, his character kind of… devolves in later comics, so seeing him have a spine enough to throw this out is always fun to read. Plus, it also serves to showcase how comfortable the two of them are with each other that Marten can sling this stuff out without fear of retaliation.

Setup...

The next day, Faye’s leaving for work when a surprise visitor comes to their door.

Marten’s comment always makes me laugh. This comic in general is just hilarious, from Amanda – Faye’s sister’s name is Amanda by the way – triple bomb thrown right into Faye’s lap to Faye’s 404 error to Marten not even missing a beat in his reaction to what’s going on in front of him.

Honestly, I’m with Marten here. And once again, I’m afraid I have to point out the fact that Jeph isn’t quite talented at drawing facial expressions yet ruins the punchline to Faye’s joke in the last panel. At least the writing serves to keep the humor going strong, and don’t mistake me here – these next few comics are gut busters. I fucking love the chaos Amanda causes by just stepping into their lives.

Oh yeah, I guess I should talk about Amanda now, shouldn’t I? Well, uh. Hm. She’s a Lesbian. And she’s a bit of a troublemaker. And like a little bit of a ditz?

…yeah that’s literally all I can think to describe her as. Cut me a little bit of slack here though, at the time of writing we’re on page 4010 and I’d be genuinely surprised if Amanda was in more than 50 pages total. The only real significant things I can think to say about her as a character is how what she says and does serves to inform Faye’s character.

Like right here – we can see the whole “doesn’t plan much further than the very next step you’re about to take” mentality runs in Faye’s family. Also, Jeph’s trying different angles out! Good on him, even little changes like this can serve to make the action feel at least slightly more dynamic!

“Clitoriste” is an amazing word and I hope to find a way to work it into at least one conversation before I die.

Amanda hangs around the coffee shop, swapping sex stories with Dora as Faye desperately tries to claw her own eardrums until Marten comes along. And as I’m saying this, I realize with hindsight that Dora’s being super cool right now, not only letting her loiter around her business but also realizing she was kicked out of her house at least in part because of her sexuality and so is letting her know “Hey, fucking girls is AWESOME, right?” to keep her mind off current events. The more I talk about Dora, the cooler she gets, seriously.

“Aerodynamically curvaceous” is another amazing phrase, this one great enough that Jeph eventually made it into a T-shirt. Seeing as I have as many curves on me as a string bean does, there’s no way I could get away with wearing it myself, but the fact that the shirt exists makes me a little happier to be alive.

Anyway, this comic goes on to show that despite the circumstances, Amanda is taking this rather well all things considered, and Faye has faith that given some time to sit with the information their mom will come around… Also that Faye was a damn good student, which might go on to explain how she was able to absorb so much information about guitars when her ex rambled on about them so much – she just retains information THAT well.

This comic… raises a LOT of questions. The last comic involves characters from another webcomic entirely, making this a fun little Easter Egg/crossover sort of deal. That being said, this raises a LOT of questions about the continuity of QC. Does it take place within the universe of Diesel Sweeties? Or does Diesel Sweeties exist within the universe of QC? The fact that we have a humanoid robot here – does that serve to shed a light on AI development in the QC universe? Did Jeph consider what AI development there would be at this point in writing? I assume not, as thus far the only intelligent devices are Anthro PCs. Is Clango an Anthro PC? Is he a prototype of a more advanced synthetic?

These are questions that were never intended for me to ask, aren’t they? Yeah. That’s what I figured. Considering the fact that Amanda has a girlfriend is canon, and the following phone conversation on the next page is canon as well, the best way to rationalize this is to just pretend that last panel doesn’t exist. Remove it entirely, and this strip fits in perfectly with QC’s established continuity and universe thus far.

Unless you REALLY want to find a way to fit Diesel Sweeties into QC’s universe, which I suppose wouldn’t be that difficult considering it’s a non-plot focused gag-a-day comic, but that’s entirely up to you.

Oh, and speaking of the conversation the two have over the phone:

Credit where it’s due, Dora’s expression on the first two panels is clearly different from the standard set of facial expressions Jeph usually puts on everyone. It’s always nice to see some experimentation! And here’s another situation where Amanda’s main purpose is to drive forward Faye’s character – here we get another hint of something that happened in her past, confirmation that she hasn’t dated anyone in a long time and some kind of source of a reason why she hadn’t. The scar on her chest, the death of her father, the lack of a love life stemming from some event… pieces to the Faye puzzle are falling into place, but we still don’t have everything. We’re given just enough to inspire further curiosity though, which – and I know I’ve said this a hundred times before, but I will say it a hundred times again – is good character writing.

…all that said, I sincerely hope that phone was shock proof. I don’t think her Mom’s exactly going to be in the mood to get her a new one.

Considering Amanda stole her credit card and all, I don’t blame their mom for being furious at her. That said, it’s nice to see that it didn’t take long at all for her to calm down and want to talk things over.

And here, we have specific confirmation that there was a set of “circumstances” that led Faye to want to leave home and move up here. Another piece of the Faye mystery falls into place.

Amanda’s immediately heading off to the airport to return home, leaving Marten and Faye to reel in the wake of an… I’d say it’s fair to call it an intense day.

HAH! If you haven’t read all the way through QC, you don’t understand why that’s so funny in hindsight. Trust me, give it another few hundred comics and it’ll make sense. God, I wonder if that specific reference was intentional on Jeph’s part, or if he just likes Vespas? Then again… he IS an anime buff, it’s entirely possible both events stem from FLCL.

Oh hey, there’s that pink Anthro PC again. We saw them back at the LANPark. Haven’t added them to the character list though since we don’t even know their name, but it seems like Pintsize has friends and a life off-panel. Good for him! I do wonder what ends up happening to these guys later though… Most likely they all just drift apart and move on with their lives.

...Why am I so sad all of a sudden?

And here we see an example of the two of them openly flirting with each other, dipped deep in sarcasm of course but that’s just how these two roll. Their inter-personal relationship has progressed really well and at a nice, natural pace so far. At this rate, something should be coming to a head very soon – either one or the both of them need to acknowledge the fact that they’re getting closer, or something’s going to happen that will throw a monkey wrench into the dance they’re performing.

Ugh. I’m coming to hate whenever Marten says “What do you want to do now?” Maybe it’s just me, I’m willing to accept I’m reading too much into this, but whenever he says that all I hear in my head is Jeph going “I can’t think of a more natural way to transition into this next scene so I’ll have Marten ask this question to push the scene forward.” It just feels like bad storytelling to me, it really does.

Now, I need you to hold onto your seats right now, because what you’re about to read next might just be the greatest comic you’ve ever read in your life. The mere act of seeing this may very well knock you out of your seat. Are you ready for this? I don’t think you are – I don’t think ANY of us are. Brace yourselves.

My man, Jimbo! And yes, he is officially called Jimbo now, so we’ll be changing the name in the character stats screen at the end of this post. And this man, this absolute LEGEND, is living the dream – quitting his blue-collar job to pursue his passion in writing! He’s worked hard to get where he is in life, and now that he’s here, the fruits of his labor are paying off! As a commercial electrician who’s writing on the side, I strive to be like Jimbo one day. God bless you, you absolute PINNACLE of human achievement!

I can’t NOT show off more Jimbo comics, he’s just that great. Also, Faye’s drunken antics are fucking hilarious.

Credit where it’s due to Faye for not only helping Jimbo out with his writing but also doing it as a completely on-the-spot Haiku, while totally piss drunk. Not even going to lie, that takes talent.

Faye’s willingness to engage in behavior like this raises… questions. Questions that I’m not entirely comfortable asking right now considering the author’s own past with alcohol. I’ll touch more on it when we reach the batch of comics 501-550, I’m going to need more time to prepare myself to talk about it in a way that’s as respectful as possible.

And finally… the moment of truth. When long-time readers of QC remember the Pre-500 era, there are two things that come to our mind: The actual conversation that happens at issue 500 that marks the transitional phase of QC into the kind of webcomic it is today… and the headbutt-crotch-vomit comic.

Behold.

I’m not even going to try offering commentary here. Absolutely nothing I could say can be better than what you just witnessed in this comic.

This page right here… it has an interesting dynamic between its first and last panels. Panel one, again, Jeph takes the time to make a new facial expression for Faye as she’s waking up, one that looks nice and works with the dialogue to communicate how she’s feeling. And then in the last panel… well, I don’t think it’s exactly controversial to say that her face in the last panel doesn’t communicate the confusion and rage she’s supposed to be feeling as expressed in the dialogue, is it? Jeph is getting there, his artistry is clearly evolving, but he’s not quite talented enough to pull it all off quite yet. Still, little improvements should be applauded!

And here we get another character confirming suspicions raised back in #172, that being Faye clearly has some relationship hangups stemming from something happening in her past. This raises some concerns considering their more flirtatious behavior around each other and their developing inter-personal relationship. At this point, SOMETHING has to happen to inspire a reaction or change out of one of the two, or they may very well find themselves trapped in stagnation… keep that in mind for a little while longer. On the art side of things, something to note that I just realized… Steve has a shine in his eyes to make them look more natural and full of life, but Marten’s doesn’t. Is there any particular reason for this? And why am I noticing it just now? Actually looking back a few comics, the “shine in the eyes” detail only started with #186… again, in all characters except Marten. Is there a significant reason for this? Or is it just a detail that’s easier to do with the shades of color in people’s eyes except for Marten’s for whatever reason? I don’t have an answer, but it’s something to keep in mind at least while we watch the art evolve.

Also, one more thing?

Either Marten’s a liar, or Faye’s ass is just THAT good that it converted him. My money’s on the latter, considering people routinely talk about how baller Faye’s ass is.

Yes, I did just use the word “baller” unironically. No, I don’t have any shame, thanks for asking.

…payoff. 

And again with the fucking contraction thing… It’s not subtle if other characters are pointing it out! I know, I’m the only person willing to die on this hill, and I KNOW it’s long-passed and nobody’s concerned about it anymore, but it genuinely bothers me! This is a stupid character traits that… bah, I’m not going to repeat myself again. On a lighter note, this particular comic showcases how much better Jeph’s gotten at drawing faces. It’s not much, but it’s better than the stock expressions that most characters usually wear, and you can see some subtle actions and thoughts expressed in the way Dora or Faye’s eyebrows move, in which direction their eyes are facing… it’s nice stuff.

I won’t show everything in these next three comics, but I wanted to showcase this series of events at least because this is some good character writing that says a lot about both Steve and the new girl Jeph introduces.

Setup…

Payoff…

…and subversion of expectations.

Sorry Marten, but I’m with Steve here 100%. That was clever, well-played, and EXTREMELY hot all at once. It’s too bad we don’t end up seeing much of Ellen after this because she has SUCH a strong established introduction.

And what fortunate timing – we have another collection of guest comics, which ends RIGHT at #200:

And here we go – the spark of conflict in the relationship dynamic between Marten and Faye that I predicted we needed. How’s Faye going to deal with this? How’s Marten going to deal with this? What if on this date it turns out he’s actually, seriously interested in Dora? Would this push Faye to action? She’s made it clear, at least to the people around her, that she’s not interested in pursuing something with Marten… so what if someone made her put her money where her mouth is? Well, we’ll find out one way or another come the next batch of comics.

While we’re still talking about this batch however, let’s do our usual deal of comparing the art shift between the first and the last comics in the batch:

This is a clear-cut example of a lot of small, subtle tweaks happening over the course of a long enough period of time making a clear, distinct difference. The biggest change, of course, being the faces of everyone as I’ve been bringing up all throughout this post – everyone looks so much more EXPRESSIVE. You can get a proper read on someone’s mood based on just how they look alone now, and I find that super impressive… admittedly, it also makes me wish that Jeph could/would re-do the ice cream comic in this newer art style to properly capture the expression on Faye’s face that he wanted to capture, but you know. Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve.

So what did I think of this batch of comics so far? Personally, I think it’s the best batch yet – the best improvement in art, the most introduced on Faye’s character, the best sarcasm from Marten… a LOT was improved in this batch, and that deserves praise. I like where the plot is going, I want to know more about Faye, and I am hooked on the will they/won’t they story, especially with the newer developments in the complexities of their relationship web coming into play.

All that said, let’s take a look at the data analysis for this particular batch:

Marten: 34/50 – 68%

Faye: 33/50 – 66%

Dora: 12/50 – 24%

Amanda: 12/50 – 24%

Steve: 6/50 – 12%

Pintsize: 5/50 – 10%

Jimbo: 3/50 – 6%

Ellen: 3/50 – 6%

Turing: 1/50 – 2%

Grand Total:

Marten: 166/200 – 83%

Faye: 163/200 – 81.5%

Dora: 51/200 – 25.5%

Pintsize: 50/200 – 25%

Steve: 22/200 – 11%

Amanda: 12/200 – 6%

Sara: 7/200 – 3.5%

Jimbo: 5/200 – 2.5%

Turing: 4/200 – 2%

Raven: 3/200 – 1.5%

Ellen: 3/200 – 1.5%

Scott: 2/200 – 1%

Miéville: 1/200 – 0.5%

Ell: 1/200 – 0.5%

Do note that in this last batch, 12 of the 50 were non-canon guest comics, so I didn’t count any characters showing up in any of them. Either way, it looks like Amanda was in enough comics to create a barrier in the stats between main and major supporting characters and minor characters as far as amount of time they’ve shown up in the comic goes. I don’t know if anyone else finds that as interesting as I do, I just think it’s neat.

In any case, tune in next week for the exciting conclusion to the double-date story! And a trip to the hospital!

…the two things aren’t related, I swear. See you then.

#Questionable Content #Faye #Marten #Pintsize #Dora #Steve #Long-Form Analysis #Analysis

[nowbestee]

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The news is a good source Black Cat smoking fight me if you wish but remember I’m old for a reason shirt . Of inspiration when it comes to making marketable t-shirts. Whatever is trending in your market has a big chance of making a good impression when printed on a tee. Make sure you’re politically correct, though, or your t-shirt business will have a bad rap. If you make shirts for subjects that are too sensitive (war, earthquake in Nepal, Baltimore shootings), make sure it’s something for a cause or something inspiring or else your intentions would be questioned. Don’t just read newspapers, watch TV, read what’s trending on Twitter and other social media. Make sure your market is very hyped on a certain topic so that there’s a bigger chance that they’ll purchase your tees. Well, here’s another first in the moreover I love this collection-review stakes: I am a drone, circling hundreds of feet above the Netherlands, and about to swoop in on Duran Lantink and his inaugural spring-summer-autumn-winter ’21 runway show.Black Cat smoking fight me if you wish but remember I’m old for a reason shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt

Classic Women's

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Unisex Hoodie

Classic Men's  Excuse me while Black Cat smoking fight me if you wish but remember I’m old for a reason shirt . I loop the loop in search of the designer. Ah, there he is, Duran-as-drone, hovering in wait over the sweeping façade of the 17th-century Dutch royal Soestdijk Palace. I can see some fellow guests are buzzing in too: Hi! Of all the schemes that designers have come up with during the pandemic, Lantink surely counts as one of the most hilarious alternatives to ye olde practice of “flying in” editors, celebs, and influencers. And aptly super low on the carbon-footprint comparison too, for Lantink’s mind is a fashion-sustainability reengineering mechanism. My mom would frequently make comments to me or about me, such as, if you don’t learn/do XYZ, you’ll never find someone to marry you,” or “how will you ever find a husband if you don’t like to cook/clean/iron, etc.? or I don’t have to worry about her getting married.” Maybe these are seemingly silly comments, but as a young teenager, I just believed her, and I believed that no boy or man would ever have any interest in me. I believed that if I didn’t cook, clean, and take care of a man then I had no value as a woman or couldnt be loved as a wife. You Can See More Product: https://wowshirtstore.com/product-category/trending/ Read the full article

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[newshirttrend]

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The news is a good source Black Cat smoking fight me if you wish but remember I’m old for a reason shirt . Of inspiration when it comes to making marketable t-shirts. Whatever is trending in your market has a big chance of making a good impression when printed on a tee. Make sure you’re politically correct, though, or your t-shirt business will have a bad rap. If you make shirts for subjects that are too sensitive (war, earthquake in Nepal, Baltimore shootings), make sure it’s something for a cause or something inspiring or else your intentions would be questioned. Don’t just read newspapers, watch TV, read what’s trending on Twitter and other social media. Make sure your market is very hyped on a certain topic so that there’s a bigger chance that they’ll purchase your tees. Well, here’s another first in the moreover I love this collection-review stakes: I am a drone, circling hundreds of feet above the Netherlands, and about to swoop in on Duran Lantink and his inaugural spring-summer-autumn-winter ’21 runway show.Black Cat smoking fight me if you wish but remember I’m old for a reason shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt

Classic Women's

Long Sleeved

Unisex Sweatshirt

Unisex Hoodie

Classic Men's  Excuse me while Black Cat smoking fight me if you wish but remember I’m old for a reason shirt . I loop the loop in search of the designer. Ah, there he is, Duran-as-drone, hovering in wait over the sweeping façade of the 17th-century Dutch royal Soestdijk Palace. I can see some fellow guests are buzzing in too: Hi! Of all the schemes that designers have come up with during the pandemic, Lantink surely counts as one of the most hilarious alternatives to ye olde practice of “flying in” editors, celebs, and influencers. And aptly super low on the carbon-footprint comparison too, for Lantink’s mind is a fashion-sustainability reengineering mechanism. My mom would frequently make comments to me or about me, such as, if you don’t learn/do XYZ, you’ll never find someone to marry you,” or “how will you ever find a husband if you don’t like to cook/clean/iron, etc.? or I don’t have to worry about her getting married.” Maybe these are seemingly silly comments, but as a young teenager, I just believed her, and I believed that no boy or man would ever have any interest in me. I believed that if I didn’t cook, clean, and take care of a man then I had no value as a woman or couldnt be loved as a wife. You Can See More Product: https://wowshirtstore.com/product-category/trending/ Read the full article

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[paraclete0407]

Since I blew my Blakean-Mozartean lightness and sweetness cover and revealed myself not to be an ‘ex sad young literary man’ who evolved from gay guy plaid shirt fashion to respected limited manliness I want to say something about Stalin’s intelligence chief Beria who after the holy(?) sacrifices of the Great Patriotic War took to cruising the streets in search of a new teen girl to rape every night then in the morning would offer her flowers.  If she accepted it was taken to be consensual and if not she was murdered and buried in the garden.  Eventually during the Kruschev(?) era Beria was hauled before the Politburo(?) and said, ‘Why are you picking flies / fleas from my garment?’  It might’ve been Zhukov himself who arrested Beria and as he was about to be executed, like Indian bus-ride-gang-rapists, just couldn’t believe that it was game over, that your laurel are not going to cover that, communist Heroes of the Soviet Union don’t have an infinite expense-account for the human grocery store and all this time he really wasn’t thinking about death, the Second Death (that I can tell).  Their parents (the girls’) must’ve not said anything but made ‘A Gay and Melancholy Sound’ or like sth out of ‘Sansho Dayu’ (’Sansho the Bailiff’).  Yeonmi Park again is Enemy of the People for wanting to live, for remembering her father who was a great guy young and old who got cut down by whatever happened to or with KIS that I can tell, Jordan Peterson is like, ‘Behold the voice of 4chan crying in the wilderness’ but it’s still ‘as clear as the sky is blue’ I used to say that 4chan is probably a giant INTERPOL / Future Eastern Roman Empire trap / killzone for pedophiles and murder-hearted moral monsters seeking intellectual figleafs for their total depravity.  Like in ‘Dirty Dozen’ when the Nazi party people are all trapped in the basement, douse with petrol, grenades insert through culverts.  The only board I ever lingered on was obviously KPG since I felt it was a potential culture of life and love but in retrospect I felt they’re actually gang-rapist parodists as well, rabbit-hunters, their only redeeming virtue their innocence, that they’re young, that they never went to Pocheon, Uijeongbu, Dongducheon, never heard ‘Sheep May Safely Graze’ in their heads of had songs no one taught them a la ‘The Illiterate’ how to write on pianoforte.  I used to like forgiveness a lot but I’m not against retributive justice b/c it represents value or an ‘overarching culture of life+’ including capital punishment IMO.  You affirm one person’s value by mirroring the loss of that value in revoking another’s value whether it’s eliminating the chance for them to actualize their potential or obliterating or marring their physical being as an Image of God.  

I became really extreme thinking about auto’s-da-fe, torture, punitive servitude which is still Constitutional in America though I felt that Arpaio and friends had been emptying it in part as a ‘schtick’ rather than mindfully or conscientiously.  I Moon Jaein wanted to burn me with a brand amputate me etc. I would trust him to do it but in the American Midwest or so it is like ‘yeehaw.’  These super-predator b/Black men - it is important to hurt people, a lot; ATST anyone can be taught to say the right things + Cosby was a serial rapist no matter what he might’ve said although that’s terrible and tragic to say as well b/c Democrat(?) CCP assclown assassins like John Oliver will just use it to discredit everything.  Like cancel Cosby’s concern, cancel his love for his murdered son (’my hero’), b/c he lost his moral compass, was coping instead of authentically or IDK never met Cosby.  

Ricky Gervais the exponent of Kim Jongilist murder revenge porn / agitation-propagand for a Maoist doctrine of ‘massive retaliation’ against the weaknesses ‘ of the wealthy creative elite etc & Parasite’ was saying how after WW2 ′Adolf’ ceased to be a baby name, now what, outside ROK, JBP, Grace to You,’ personal responsibility is becoming infinitely assassinatable as well.  Historical dialectical materialism / Marxism / hyperMarxism(?), ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ TS, DT Suzuki or so telling Japanese soldiers they’re not even pulling the trigger.  No one ever really did anything, it never happened, unreality, as Min Jin Lee might’ve said it’s absurd to impute humanity to Koreans or reality and authenticity to the central concern of the moment which is like this massive convergence of times, places, and new and old beliefs, in or during which the Prince f Darkness, the Father of Lies, is being allowed to attack a lot of people and many are getting super-smart super-fast and as GG might say in 2013 ABC and XYZ are colliding all the time.  Yet, still, at a time when people might hold more in common or be more generous and gracious ev1′s becoming super-clannish; I see men at the ATM with thousands in cash but then too what good will cash be in a few days?  ‘We all know money burns.’  I remember some stupid Korea hyper-self-fanfic that was like, ‘I used to believe in giving kids a fair life-chance but after getting “promoted to Colonel” in edubusiness I was just all about money, women, and weapons.’  

S1 once said of Tom Clancy that he got super-rich and might’ve to started to lose touch long after ‘Red Storm Rising,’ which helped win Cold War One, with the moral factors etc. that actually determine success in war.  

But IDK what is automatically absolutely going to happen.  If I had a rooftop I might well watch on it tonight.  I felt concern for many of these people and rem. talking about ‘the inflictions of the voice of pedagogical authority’ walking w/ someone who had stayed friends with her HS teacher in ‘Rhetoric of Argumentation’ where the prof was telling us to keep commonplace books which I thought was good, then teach said I‘m sorry I didn’t get to know you, but nowadays knowledge appears to have transmogrified into a completely insincere category, a fake value, ground of fake intimacy, for fake friendships.  Where are those girls now?  I was literally walking to the bridge one night to jump of so s1 else can have my organs and felt this ‘flashlight of c/Charity toward’ some blonde girls at UWM like whos gonna cover them but now they’re all sophisticated and cagey(?) and I have no idea what is meant anymore, feel no gentleness, just relentlessness, game-playing, hey wall want information, they’re writing books of future history + burying the living alive.  I wish almost for the first I were less special and more general tho maybe I am just nobody.  I wanted to simplify and make one last valiant or else stubborn attempt at creative writings like Taeyeon’s ‘You Love Me’ where she is not really plotting s1′s future downfall / burying the Confucian gentlemen alive by the trillions under future MaoMao Qin Shihuang imperial government.  Words like ‘bypass’ and ‘oxygenation’ are starting to mean everything and I wanted to add ‘metabolism’ since it can help with immune-systems and it talks about the ‘interpenetration’ of people’s bodies, the environment, the air, health.  I also wanted to talk more about specific details from my past but as everyone is reading everyone that I can tell + tho I had progressed in writing I feel as if it’s just adding more retardant or I’m delaying personal decision-making... Does no one want me or just a few people want me

I wished to go to the place where the best thing ever to happen to me happened which is this bench I sat on after working all night but Liyoung Lee’s ‘A Final Word’ already said more or less that and it was someone else’s future, someone else’s man-wife-child ‘trinity of happiness.’  At Whole Fods I went ‘Selflessness’ but ppl are actually hunting for Shakesperean-Johnsonian ‘Other Selves’ and those that have something.  ‘The One Fair Thing’ with this Sana picture that didn’t look like her in that one picture, something about epee(?)-fencing, a McMansion in Livingston NJ that my parents spat on but I thought, ‘It’s a reasonable place to live; it’s new; it’s sober; there are baby black bears in the NJ forests and they’re gentle animals that can help us slow down life and arguably know when to be sort of cold-hearted.’  Evth got kind of sideways-moving and I was thinking, ‘After this, then...’  I believed that it would be a great idea just now to un-adopt my old concerns as people really do appear to be becoming more defended and ‘patronized’ but that too is just conjecture; or do I know what the President’s capabilities are w/r/t holding everyone together as opposed to saying the right things about binding up.  During the military dictatorship in the ROK the KCIA were torturing all these people all the time, young students, and it might’ve had to happen but when everyone is their putative brother’s keeper and loving neighbors is conflated with omni-pedagogy and ‘Lives of Others’-esque omni-surveillance things and lives can get pulverized as well as rebuilt - therefore what am I missing?