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#'many bothans died to get this information'
thevalleyisjolly · 11 months
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I’m definitely not saying that the old Star Wars Legends books were all good, and I’ll be the first to criticize them for all the interesting creative decisions and sometimes questionable writing quality, but there will always be a little part of me that’s salty about how they got almost completely discarded in favour of the Mouse’s new canon hegemony.  Was Legends really that good?  Eh, not really.  So often, it was a case of ‘Cool concept, completely dropped the ball on the execution.’  Are there a lot of good things about the new canon that we wouldn’t be able to have with Legends?  Absolutely.  Is it still a shitty thing to overwrite decades worth of creative effort and collaboration for the sake of corporate marketing?  Generally, yeah.
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kitspindles · 2 years
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Some Will-Centric Tidbits
since my Nico post is doing pretty well
He basically saved Annabeth's life in The Last Olympian by healing the poisoned stab wound in her shoulder
He's not fond of theft ("There's a Duane Reade on Fifth. Normally I would never steal--"/"I would," Travis volunteered./Will glared at him. "Leave cash or drachmas to pay, whatever you've got, but this is an emergency..." (The Last Olympian, p. 197).
He became head counselor pretty young, basically during the war with Kronos since Michael Yew, the former head of the Apollo cabin, died in the battle on Williamsburg Bridge
He's friendly with Annabeth and even lent her the Apollo cabin's chariot ("'Annabeth!' A guy with a bow and quiver on his back pushed through the crowd. 'I said you could borrow the chariot, not destroy it!'" (The Lost Hero, p. 36).
He's the one who showed Leo around camp in The Lost Hero
Will has a sort of calming presence ("'She's right.' Will Solace, head counselor for the Apollo cabin, put his hand gently on Clarisse's wrist. Not many campers could've done that without getting stabbed, but Will had a way of defusing people's anger. He got her to lower her dagger" (The Blood of Olympus, p. 135).
Nico described him as "a lanky cat stretched out in the sunshine" but also noted that Will was brave under fire despite his lax appearence, having personally seen him in action healing people during the Battle of Manhatten
He's a fan of sci-fi films, most notably the og Star Wars trilogy and Star Trek ("Will whistled appreciatively. 'I bet many Bothans died to bring us this information'" (The Tower of Nero, p. 126) and ("'Come on, Mr. Spock, I'll explain everything.' Will put a hand on his shoulder and steered him off toward the cabins" (The Lost Hero, p. 39).
His full name is William Andrew Solace (thanks, Nico)
His mother is Naomi Solace, an alt-country singer, and he was born in Autsin, Texas. Yeehaw.
His magical Apollo ability is being a human glowstick
He's an adept healer, but claims to suck at Apollo's other gifts-- archery, music, poems, etc.
Alluded to the fact that he's seen/spoken to Nico before their joint appearence in The Blood of Olympus, recognizing him on sight (Nico was about to attempt it when a voice behind him said, 'Nico?'/He spun, his sword instantly in his hand, and almost decapiatated Will Solace" (p. 417).
Will "flip-flops and jeans/scrubs" Solace
Poor guy delivered a satyr baby all on his own
He's a year-round camper
He's beyond proud of Apollo for accomplishing what he did as Lester. He loves his dad. Similarly, Apollo is just as proud of Will and his other children.
His one musical talent is an ear-splitting New York taxi cab whistle
He cares for Nico and his wellbeing (since they're bfs, and Will is in training to be a doctor), but Nico reciprocates these feelings and supports Will in the same ways. It's not one-sided ("Will changed his surgical gloves and glared at the woods. 'We will find them. We have to.'/Nico di Angelo gave him a canteen. 'Drink. Right now, this is where you need to be'" (The Hidden Oracle, p. 179).
He managed to stop a collision between the Greeks and Romans with his horrible taxi cab whistle ("Will Solace saved the day./He put his fingers to his mouth and did a taxicab whistle even more horrible than the last. Several Greeks dropped their swords. A ripple went through the Roman line like the entire First Cohort was shuddering./'DON'T BE STUPID!' Will yelled. 'LOOK!'" (The Blood of Olympus, p. 433).
Will and Rachel (and Nico) are buds
There's probably more. Feel free to add more. And hopefully we get more insight on his character in the Solangelo book.
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novelmonger · 1 year
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Moments That Bring Me Joy: Star Wars Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
On a whim, I've decided to go through some of my favorite childhood movies and just list all the moments in them that bring me joy. I'm fully aware that many of the stories I loved as a kid are deeply flawed, but I just want to take some time to appreciate what they did well. Just because I'm focusing on the positive doesn't mean I'm unaware of the negative.
Note: I chose the word "joy" deliberately. Not all of the moments that bring me joy bring me (or the characters) happiness. Scenes involving death or pain might not be very fun or cheerful, but I find joy in a good story well told.
And here's the end of Star Wars! This one has always held a special place in my heart, because I do so love a good ending ^_^
Han and Chewie's reunion is the best :') I especially love the way Chewie scoops him into an enormous hug and Han sort of gingerly pats him back.
I love watching Luke's problem-solving during his fight with the rancor.
"I used to live here, you know." "You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient."
"Boba Fett? Boba Fett? Where?" *turns around and smacks Boba Fett's jetpack, making him careen into the sail barge and fall into the sarlacc pit*
Lando's scream as the sarlacc's tentacle grabs him.
"No, wait, I thought you were blind!" "Don't worry, I can see a lot better!"
"When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not, hmm?"
"Many Bothans died to bring us this information." Inside joke: "My emotional state really isn't the greatest."
"Keep your distance, Chewie. But don't look like you're keeping your distance. I don't know. Fly casual."
"I see them. Wait, Leia!"
I love the Ewoks. Everything about them ^_^
"Han, can you reach my lightsaber?" "*extreme frustration* Yeah! Sure!"
"Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?" "I beg your pardon, General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper." "Proper?!" "It's against my programming to impersonate a deity."
That one Ewok who just keeps clinging to Han's leg <3
The note of almost-regret in Darth Vader's voice when he says, "It is...too late for me, son."
The Ewok that jumps on the speeder bike and lures all the stormtroopers away, cackling madly! XD
"Your overconfidence is your weakness." "Your faith in your friends is yours."
"It's a trap!"
The Ewoks to the rescue! I love all their different ideas and tactics for fighting the Imperial soldiers--the ones that work as well as the ones that...really don't. And I especially love that, even though the Ewoks are mostly there for comic relief, we still see the toll the battle takes on them, and how some even give their lives in the struggle.
Chewie swinging across to the AT-ST with a Tarzan yell! XD
The Ewok in the AT-ST with Chewie stroking his hair appreciatively as they decimate the stormtroopers.
"I love you." "I know."
The way Luke goes completely ballistic when Darth Vader mentions the possibility of turning Leia to the dark side. Like the protective brotherly instinct that's been there all along just rearing its head with the feral rage of a lion....
Luke clenching his fist--his mechanical fist--and looking over at Darth Vader's mechanical hand he just cut off. The way he makes his choice, straightens up, and tosses his lightsaber aside, standing tall against the Emperor. "I'll never turn to the dark side. You've failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me."
Possibly my favorite moment in the entire original trilogy is when the Emperor tortures Luke with Force lightning. Maybe that's a weird favorite, but...I just love everything about it. The Emperor's sadistic pleasure in Luke's screams, the way that Luke is completely helpless but calls out to his father--and calls him Father! The way Anakin looks back and forth between the man who has held him captive for so long, and the son that he suddenly realizes he loves, he loves! The way he hauls the Emperor up and throws him down the shaft, to fall and die an ignominious death, crying out pathetically the whole way down. The way Luke looks up with confusion as the lightning dies down around him, showing that even though he was begging Anakin to help him, he didn't really believe he would, he'd given up all hope of surviving, he was ready to die...but his father saved him at the cost of his own life. No matter how many times I watch this movie, this scene never ceases to be so powerful it takes my breath away.
"I'll not leave you here. I've got to save you." "You already have...Luke. You were right.... You were right about me. Tell your sister...you were right...."
That dumb little bit of irony where Han thinks Leia's in love with Luke (somehow, after everything!), but then she tells him that they're siblings....
Everything from Darth Vader's funeral pyre through to the end is just *chef's kiss* Perfect. Utterly perfect way to end the series. The quiet moment for Luke to grieve his father. People all around the galaxy cheering the fall of the Empire. The joyous abandon of the Ewok's celebration, using stormtrooper helmets for drums. The music that plays, oh, that music! Definitely in my top five tracks of the whole series. I want to bottle it up and bathe in the feeling that music gives me for a whole year. And all the Rebels being reunited, hugs all around, and then Luke looks over, and there are the ghosts of the three Jedi he knows and loves, watching over him....
I love Star Wars so much. It's given me so much joy over the years <3
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tower of nero spoiler alert!
Rachel straightened a bit. “I think so, yeah. These are the original designs for Nero’s tower. They were not easy to get.” Will whistled appreciatively. “I bet many Bothans died to bring us this information.” Rachel stared at him. “What?” Nico sighed. “I’m guessing that was a Star Wars reference. My boyfriend is a Star Wars geek of the worst kind.” “Okay, Signor Myth-o-magic. If you would just watch the original trilogy...” Will looked at the rest of us for support and found nothing but blank expressions. “Nobody? Oh, my gods. You people are hopeless.”
“Let’s assume Lu is right,” Nico said. “You get captured and put in this cell. She lets you out. You kill the guardian, destroy the fasces, weaken Nero, hooray. Even then, and I’m sorry to be a Debbie Downer—” “I am calling you Debbie Downer from now on,” Will said gleefully. “Shut up, Solace. Even then, you’ve got half a tower and Nero’s whole army of security guards between you and his throne room, right?” “We’ve dealt with whole armies before,” Meg said. Nico laughed, which I didn’t know he was capable of. “Okay. I like the confidence. But wasn’t there that little detail about Nero’s panic switch? If he feels threatened, he can blow up New York at the push of a button. How do you stop that?”
will is canonically a star wars and star trek fan my life is complete.
also the solangelo here is through the roof i love it so much-
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So, we’re watching Return of the Jedi
The alarm going off has nothing to do with the force field being down and everything to do with Darth Vader arriving. AWOOOGA AWOOOGA WEAR LOOSE COLLARED SHIRTS SO AS NOT TO GIVE HIM IDEAS.
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"I hope so, Commander, for your sake. Don't make me promote you to Admiral so I can kill you and promote someone else to Admiral in your place!"
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"Ne wanga wanga" tentatively translated as "We don't buy at the door."
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"Look, R2! It's Captain Solo! And he's no longer frozen in carbonite! Now he's stored in a massive Irn Bru bottle as a conversation piece!"
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Enter Princess Leia - Space BADASS. Seriously, I watched this when I was five or so and she made such an impact on me.
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Whatever language that is, it doesn't half make "yoto" work for it.
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It's Lando Calrissian! Cunningly disguised by covering his chin. Well DONE, Lando!
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Han Solo falls to the ground, blind and shivering. "I can't see." "Shh. You’re over-reacting to the flu. Take some paracetamol and GET UP."
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"Ho ho ho!" "What's that?" "Oh no! It's SANTA!"
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Chewbacca: "Rarrr!" Tentative translation: "It's only a COLD! Will you PLEASE stop going ON!"
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Luke's not doing anything to the Space D&D Orcs - they're just painfully shy and don't like being pointed at.
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Luke's soft voiced instructions and Bib Fortuna repeating them is great.
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Why doesn't Huttese have words for "Old", "Mind" and "Trick"? I can buy not bothering to translate "Jedi" but otherwise it's just plain lazy.
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I always felt sorry, even as a kid, for the Rancor keeper. I mean, yes, he does enjoy watching the beasty eat people up, but he's SO SAD that his pet is dead! I hope he got a puppy or something to keep him company.
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And where on earth are they going to find a shoe box big enough to bury him in the sad patch behind the shed?
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What makes the Sarlak all-powerful? It's a toothy hole in the ground. It's not like he's going to come over there and get you if you don't stop talking shit.
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Han Solo's dialogue from "I think my eyes are getting better" to "he'll get no such pleasure from us. Right?" is beautiful.
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Bobba Fett - terrifying bounty hunter or space idiot? YOU DECIDE!
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PRINCESS LEIA.
SPACE.
BADASS.
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"Let's go. And don't forget the droids. And somebody lend Leia a t-shirt."
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Yoda: "Twilight is upon me. Read them I have. Will to live lost. Mmmm."
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Why does Luke have to confront Vader again in order to be a Jedi? It seems so arbitrary. Luke: "Instead of confronting Vader, can't I do like three moderately difficult things instead? Drain the swamp. Give you a mani-pedi. I don't know, bake you a cake?"
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Luke: "You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father." Obi-Wan: "Your father was seduced by the dark side of the Force. Because he was a twat."
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Luke: "Leia. Leia is my sister... but... we..." [Luke vomits in swamp.]
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Mon Mothma, in a haunted voice: "Many Bothans died to bring us this information.
"Maybe we shouldn't have written it on Bothan hide."
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General Madine's fake beard is INCREDIBLE.  Do you think he's on the run and thus in disguise?  If so, I really hope Madine's not his real name, because if it is Mon Mothma just outed him to EVERYONE.
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I love that Han and Chewie bicker like they're a couple on a road-trip and one of them wants to stop and ask for directions.
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"We're all in camouflage, blending in superbly with the Forest Moon landscape. This is excellent! No one will spot us! Let's just remember to bring our pessimistic, anxiety-ridden, SHINY GOLDEN droid with us! That will help us blend in YET MORE BETTER STILL!"
- - -
Finally, a Stormtrooper that hit something!
Seriously - you're going at a MILLION MILES AN HOUR on the Forest Moon of Endor, which is stuffed with Giant Redwoods.  WHY WOULD YOU LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER INSTEAD OF IN FRONT OF YOU? WHY?  That guy is now the poster child for speeder bike safety.
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"Take the squad ahead! You don't need leaders! We're not necessary! You do your thing and we'll go rescue Leia from the Space Bears."
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"Freeze!" [Leia removes poncho. It’s cold on that there moon.]
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Space Bears, sir! THAAAAAAAZANDS OF THEM!
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Why is Princess Leia not getting cooked?  Because, as previously discussed, she is a Space. Badass.
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Ewoks: "We think he's a god. Just a really rubbish one."
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"Now, C-3PO, if someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"
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By the look on Princess Leia's face, she's just remembered the few times she kissed Luke.
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Emperor: "You want this, don't you?" [Strokes lightsaber suggestively.] Luke: [shudders]
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Emperor: "You, like your father, are now MINE." Me: "It's all going a bit Hugh le Despensers in here." Him: [Knows better than to risk an impromptu history lesson by asking.]
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Everything Admiral Ackbar says is golden. Everything.
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Darth Vader: "It is too late for me, son. Several books I took out of the Naboo library are twenty years overdue and I can't afford to pay the fines. The Emperor is not generous with his pay scales."
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Imperial Officer, thinking: “We’re winning! But ooh… hang on. Ooh, no. The rebels are scary and they have guns and… hold up! I’ve got Stormtroopers! STORMTROOPERS! ADVANCE! Get them surrounded. More surrounded… bit more… Point your guns at them! Oh my good gravy, yes! YES! They’ve surrendered! NOW’S MY CHANCE! Imperial Officer, out loud: "You rebel scum!” Imperial Officer, thinking: "I AM THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE! YESSSSSS!!!!!"
- - -
Lando: "Only the fighters are attacking. I wonder what those star destroyers are waiting for?" [Cuts to star destroyer] Officer: "I wonder what we're waiting for?"
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Alternatively: Lando: "Only the fighters are attacking. I wonder what those star destroyers are waiting for?" Emperor: "You may fire once peak electricity time is OVER, and NOT before!"
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[Speculatively]: "Do you think Stormtroopers are like tortoises? It's not that the Ewoks are so mighty that pushing people over kills them, it's just they can't get up again."
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I don't know why Darth Vader doesn't go down the route that Palpatine did when converting him. It worked well enough to convince him to do any number of rotten things!
"Give in to the dark side, Luke! WE HAVE COOKIES and the Emperor lets you stay up ALL NIGHT if you want!"
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The saddest part of this movie is when one ewok tries to wake the other ewok then realises the other ewok is dead.
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The Emperor does brilliantly evil enunciation.
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The Emperor: "Your feeble powers are no match for the static generated by my polyester robe!"   [shuffles feet on carpet; zarks Luke.]
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The guards the Emperor sent away when Luke arrives, peaking around the corner 1: "It's okay, Darth Vader will protect the Emperor. Yup. There he goes. Oh. Oh, he's lost a hand! Oh, no! It's okay! The Skywalker chap's given up! Oooh! Tough break with the lightning! It's okay though, I reckon we can relax. Darth Vader's not going to grab the Emperor and throw him down that- oh. Oh buggery fuck." The guards the Emperor sent away when Luke arrives, peaking around the corner 2: "Reckon it's time to join the Rebellion, Pete." The guards the Emperor sent away when Luke arrives, peaking around the corner 1: "Yup."
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Darth Vader: "Do you think killing the Emperor is enough to get those library fines taken off?"
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When is an A-Wing not an A-Wing? When it's suddenly a flaming Ford pick-up truck slamming though the window!
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...do you think Darth Vader has to take vitamin D supplements in order not to get rickets?
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Luke's plan: "Look everyone! I saved him! He's back to the light side!" Everyone else: "That's... Darth Vader." Luke: "Yep! And he's a goody now! Isn't that BRILLIANT?" Everyone else: "...um..." Luke: "Let's have a PARTY! Then we can find something for him to do! Isn't this GREAT?" Leia: <facepalm> Darth Vader: "I'm good with children. I have experience. Any you want getting rid of?" Luke: <beaming happily> Everyone else: <stunned silence> Darth Vader: "I'm good at making sure they don't get out of hand."
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Luke: <sadly sets fire to Darth Vader.> Han Solo, downwind: "Could anyone else really go some barbecue right now?"
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Ewok playing music on stormtrooper helmets: "There is a more than zero percent chance that we cooked and ate the previous inhabitants of what is now my new xylophone."
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Force Ghost Obi-Wan: "Wait a minute. How did he get to come back as a young, handsome version of himself? WHY DIDN'T I GET TO COME BACK AS EWAN MCGREGOR?!"
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wingedkiare · 4 years
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Having rewatched basically all the original trilogy and TFA and TLJ.... Luke’s isolation on Ahch-to makes sense.  Bear with me here.
Leia is as strong as she is, because she was raised to be that. The right schools, the right lessons.  She knows what it takes to keep democracy running, how easily it can die. Bail would have told her what happened on Coruscant when Palpatine came to power.  She would have seen what was happening even as she took her place in the Senate.  She makes friends, builds relationships.  She knows the cost of the things that brings hope to a Rebellion.  The sacrifices like Rogue One made in order to get the Death Star Plans out.  Watching her entire planet be destroyed, knowing how many innocent lives were taken.  Or like the Bothans who died getting the information on the second Death Star.  So when things go wrong, Leia endures and finds another way to keep that Hope moving.
Luke.  Luke was given a gift, and stepped naively into a galaxy that he didn’t know much about.  He was made a hero his first time out.  He’s every overachieving child who got straight As in school without studying.  Sure, he had trials along the way - but honestly?  He hasn’t seen the same sort of struggles Leia has.  He’s had loss - but it isn’t the same.  (Losing Owen and Beru was hard - but it meant nothing was keeping him on Tattooine, too.  He lost his first battle with Vader, but it meant he was literally in the right place to save Han - instead of training on Dagobah like he should have been)  While he’s put in a lot of work, almost everything he’s tried has worked out nearly the way he wanted.  And they were BIG things.
So Luke believes he can rebuild the Jedi Order and start teaching.  And when things go terribly wrong... Luke doesn’t know what to do.  He’s never let anyone down like this before - he let Ben down. He let Han and Leia down.  He’s let down the families of all those who were killed.  And just like all of us who didn’t know how to deal with failure, he shut down.  And doubted himself.  He let himself believe that they were better off without him.
So yeah, I get it.  There are some things in TLJ I didn’t like, but I will defend the decision to make Luke not just be in hiding, but have shut down because he'd failed and didn’t know how to recover from that.
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rekkingcrew · 5 years
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Rek DMs, Some Thoughts
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Buckle up, it’s Edge of the Empire tabletop Roleplaying time.
Yeah, I know I don’t post here much. I’m still doing the devaron’s angels thing, which is scratching a lot of my online itches, and I’ve got a part time job and full time parenting. 
I’d really planned on doing regular updates of what happened each session. Aaaaand that didn’t happen. Which is a shame, I’d love to be able to have those summaries to look back on. But here’s the short version:
The gang, who are a crew of space chancers and criminals rolling around in a stolen police ship, were doing odd jobs together for a while, including some for the empire. Their contact, a Pantoran spymaster whose cover was as a children’s entertainer, congratulated them on their most recent heist job (where the campaign started in medias res), and gave them a new job: deliver a mysterious sealed orb to the leader of the peskiest rebel cell in the general area, led by a Rodian pirate by the name of Cheng Maxeda. They said maybe, took the orb, and then checked around and picked up a delivery job for their local Hutts going the same direction for some extra cash. 
They were brought in because the Hutt shipments had been interfered with by somebody. Their Hutts weren’t sure who, but were damn sure they were going to pay. The gang defeated a whole crazy mess of people who were being lead and bolstered by a falleen who had been surgically altered to boost their pheromone output. Then they picked up the package and made the poor decision of looking inside. It was the carbonite frozen but still living body of the cop who’d previously owned their ship that they were now knowingly handing over, because they couldn’t bring themselves to cross the Hutts. 
Moral issues aside, it was an easy job, they got well paid, the team failed a bunch of social roles and divulged more information than they should have to the Hutt point man, and Brick, the party’s wall of meat, got signed up for a pit fight. He won his round, but imperial troops broke up the match before he could win completely. TK cornered but lost a rebel bomber, and Eshi got contacted by a rebel who recognized him from a bit of backstory. Nyla chased down one of the other gladiators, an old clone with a sword who’d entered the fight because the prize included a bacta dunk and he had a friend who was hurt and dying after being caught by the Hutts trying to bust up a slaving operation. And that’s when the bomb went off, destroying some major imperial instillation bits and projecting a 40 foot holo-image of Cheng the punk rock rodian pirate queen striding across the smoking crater proclaiming she had come to liberate the outer rim. The party was presented with three job options: 1) after Brick’s pit win, the Hutts were down some muscle for a convoy and ready to pay reliable thugs 2) the rebels were looking for a study ship to bust up the hub of a spy satellite network 3) the clone and his weequay buddy (Edge and Horm) still wanted to stop the slave convoy (which was, as the party figured out, job 1). They opted for job 2, leaving town amidst a firefight with the imperials, and brought along Edge and Horm, providing Nyla with a sword fighting trainer who’d studied under a jedi, without being a jedi himself. 
The guys busted up the satellite base by hijacking a shipment truck coming in (I’d provided them information for a couple of routes, including asteroid hopping amidst giant vacuum-proof winged frog monster creatures, and they figured this best matched their skillset). Inside they found tech that looked a whole lot like our droid character TK, a completely brainwashed cyborg engineer, and the control rods that were their target. TK, who is a droid with multiple program personalities, suddenly and without warning displayed a program personality they had never seen before and destroyed the computer mainframe, remembering nothing afterward. The cyborg also had hardware a good deal like Nyla’s, and contained a message begging for help from someone held against their will and being moved between facilities. They blew up the station, retrieved valuable tech, and flew off, triumphant, to get their payment from the rebels. 
The rebels welcomed the gang, who got to know the faction a little bit better. TK nearly started a gunfight, Nyla got a haircut, and Brick and Eshi developed mouse droid beer pong in order to provide historically unique droid bits to an eccentric collector for the last bit Eshi needed to build his machine from the prototype he’d stolen from the corporate sector in his backstory, which runs on two kyber crystals and provides a similar benefit to the force power “foresee”. He used this to figure out the sphere they were carrying contained an intensely virulent ship killer plague that would likely kill them as well, and they resolved to throw that in the sun. The gang foiled an assassination attempt on Cheng and got a new assignment: break her old pirate buddy out of maximum security prison (again, they were presented with several possible assignments, some of which tied in to other plots.) Nyla and Cheng also worked out mutually that they were both force sensitive. 
The prison break went off well. It was a sort of siberian gulag set up on an ice planet, plus some eight foot carnivorous burrowing worms- yeah, those walls are pretty short, prisoners, but where are you gonna run? The gang picked up some extra supplies by agreeing to break out a Hutt operative while they were there anyway. After some exciting sky battles, Nyla and Eshi turns the ship’s forward shields into a battering ram. They made short work of the guards inside, but discovered that there was an unexpected other party there- a wookie bounty hunter who was looking into the disappearance of the guy they handed over to the hutts. That guy was a tough fight even for the team’s big heavies, and they set a load of prisoners free to help them- taking the risk that the maximum security violent shipjackers would not decide to jack their ship to escape. Luckily between the two heavies and the giant devaronian pirate they just released, they were able to intimidate them into just accepting a ride off planet. Nyla, meanwhile, fought the wookie’s cat beast in an enclosed tunnel and nearly died, but won a pretty hard solo battle, enabling her to pick up the Hutt contact and a delirious nautolan who she had a force feeling about. Eshi forgot he was a reptile and went out in the ice with no coat, then defeated his own personal corpsec bounty hunter’s attempts to come at him with robots. With great success, they headed back to rebel space, got paid, and received a message that their former imperial employer was officially fucking pissed at them. Also, the nautolan was force sensitive and having visions of the inquisitor who tried to murder Nyla. 
Faced with mounting tension and the inability to continue lying to each other, the team pretty much spilled all their secrets to each other in the absolute most fun room mate meeting I have ever witnessed. Nyla is a force sensitive ex-imperial pilot ace, TK has an extra personality, Eshi has an I-assassinated-a-king level bounty and a machine that tells the future, Thirteen (the bothan spy) knew all this and told no one, Brick likes light beer, etc. They decided they really need to murder the children’s TV spy master as their next move. Their bothan spy provided them with a dossier on him and his six lieutenants. Nyla and Thirteen went to go meet the spymaster and try to throw him off, and had to fight the stealth assassin lieutenant, which they survived. Eshi hacked the slicer lieutenant and stole her state of the art surveillance droids. Brick checked up on the Hutt-embedded spy and learned she was a pretty awful person. He also ended up scheduling a rematch with the douwutin he beat in the pit fight, who the Hutts later dropped a word in that they wouldn’t mind if he just happened to kill in that fight. The group’s one cop friend, a red-string and corkboard conspiracy melitto, got attacked by assassins, because the spies and the governor were working against each other. Nyla and TK accidentally killed the master of disguise spy lieutenant without realizing who he was. They turned the surveillance droids on the Hutts and found out the Hutt-embedded spy was working against the spymaster as well. 
The spymaster was scheduled to attend the Chancellor’s day gala on Naboo, which is fancy far outside of anything the party is probably capable of pulling off, but I wanted to give them the opportunity to try. One of the spy lieutenants there, a slimy alderaanean lesser noble, has found a packet of forbidden information that had been stolen and hidden there, and the spymaster is going in person for the hand-off. Rebuffing an offer from the planetary governor, the group made a very temporary alliance with the Hutt spy to kidnap the noble spy and use him to force a meeting with the spymaster on their terms. And that’s where we are now. 
___
All in all, I’m really pleased with how this is going. I’m having a lot of fun and my players are absolutely great. I’d... assumed that would take less time to type up, and it’s leaving out a whole lot of stuff. I started this in October, so that’s about seven months worth of weekly sessions. That it breaks pretty easily into arcs, I feel, speaks pretty well for what I’d intended of it. I have SO MANY FUCKING named NPCs. It’s over 50 at last count. Factions are helping a lot. Each faction has a main plot that’s going to move along no matter what the PCs do, hitting beats whenever I need something interesting for the background. 
I’d like to keep making some posts here about what I’ve learned, what’s worked and what hasn’t, and about each player and their character. I personally think it’s interesting, and it helps me collect my thoughts. But for now I think I’m going to bed. 
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girlbossk · 5 years
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mon mothma
favorite thing about them: ...........she is a space politic? no thats bad right? hmm
least favorite thing about them: in the courtship of princess leia she was all like “leia should marry isolder bc hes rich!” which yeah ok we get it, u need money, whatever 
favorite line: MANY BOTHANS DIED TO BRING US THIS INFORMATION actually i hate that line bc borsk never stops bringing it up 
brOTP: bail organa???????? idk!!!
OTP: no. just no. 
nOTP: .....anyone is bad???? i dont know. palpatine. 
random headcanon: she seems like the type of person to slap tarkin in the face 
unpopular opinion: i don’t really care about her? neither positive or negative. i mean WHEN im reading abt her sure but otherwise i just. forget her. 
song i associate with them: n o 
favorite picture of them: literally do not have one. whatver she looks like when talking abt the bothans. that one 
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stupid-lemon-eater · 5 years
Text
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
return of the jedi mum: *letting the dog in* the jedi's at the bloody back door!
dad: the death star's a bit of overkill me: .... that is its purpose, yes
now he's just imitating the speeder noises
"the trains we were on in europe sounded like a mixture of darth vader and the tardis! darth vader in the tardis!"
"did you see him gulp? he was chosen specifically for his adams apple, so you can see him gulp"
"ugh, upper management"
dad: it's an inefficient door mum: it's a good thing squeaky thing is so small, so he can get underneath
*jabba appears* dad: andie!
thanks, dad
"he's combed his hair for this"
"hm, somebody wrote this for him" "yeah, he's reading it. and not very well."
a skywalker couldn't be diplomatic to save their life
see: leia
c3p0: and he's still frozen in carbonite "no, they're just gonna let him wander around!"
c3p0: r2 don't leave me! "leave him. leave him. don't come back for him!"
me: it's kinda worrying how droids are programmed to feel pain, considering how often they get destroyed. me: des-droid, if you will my parents: *groan loudly*
*chewie roars* "you would not believe how many split ends i have"
*jabba hits threepio* "do it again"
*jabba laughs* "santa jabba!"
dad: man, there's not a lot of black people in space
mum: is it luke in disguise? dad: ...something like that
"oop, i broke it"
"get up, come on slugabug!"
leia: someone who loves you "i'd laugh if he said 'that doesn't narrow it down any'"
"ew, annoying nit!"
"cutting edge muppets type of stuff"
luke: you will take me to jabba now "you're not the boss of me"
c3p0: at last, master luke's here to rescue me! "yeah, you're the priority here"
"i've got a towel over my head, let me speak"
"and she's in a gold bikini, for reasons we're still trying to figure out"
"he's feeling quite rancorous about the whole situation"
"who made all this?" "the guy who made the muppets - jim henson" "what, was he on drugs for all of this?"
"god, you gotta hate it when you get something stuck in your teeth"
"this rock definitely isn't a prop and is very heavy"
"my puppy! what's happened to my puppy!"
"he was such a good pup"
"i blame luke for this. coming in all kind of 'i'm gonna fix all of this and you'll be sorry'. well now who's sorry"
dad: you'd wanna be carrie. she was doing a lot of coke for this mum: well you'd have to, to wear a bikini like that dad: she was also doing scotch and harrison ford mum: well you'd have to do coke and scotch to do harrison ford
luke: free us or die "i'll dramatically pose you to death" "i've got a new blouse and i'm not afraid to wear it!" "he's gotten his hair nicely blow-waved for this" "he has, hasn't he. gone all metrosexual on us. metro jedi."
"slices an arm off. there's something unusual!"
"oh no, a slight incline! how will we get out of this situation!"
"chewie! i am your brother!"
"so tatooine sucks balls. we are never coming back here again. nothing good happens here."
luke: i have a promise to keep with an old friend "darth!"
palpatine: you wish to continue your search for young skywalker "can't imagine why!" "yeah, what's this kid to you anyway?"
"they've all got such bad laughs, haven't they"
yoda: look i so old to young eyes? "you're over 800 years old, yoda!"
"i will hopefully be dead before i hit 900 years old, you insufferable gremlin"
"what, is night going to follow day? how can that be"
"don't whine, luke. it's unattractive."
luke: then i am a jedi "no, you're a whiny boy. you've gone from a small boy to a whiny boy, and that's not an improvement"
yoda: you must confront darth vader "yeah, paint his back fence"
yoda: unready for the burden are you "yeah, you're not ready to kill your father, god you're so weak"
god i forgot how long it took for him to die
"r2's like thank god can we please escape this place now"
obi-wan: yoda will always be with you "yoda is a stalker"
"he was a great 9 year old, it was as he got older everything went wrong"
many bothans died to get this information "not the bothans!" "silly bothans"
"can we have the family reunion later? guys. we're still doing a briefing here."
luke: i shouldn't have come "i should've stayed home in bed and slept in"
"i can smell my son." *to me* "it's like when i come in and sniff you in the mornings"
"god, why did they bring threepio on a stealth mission?" "i know, soooo annoying"
"silly han solo. such a liability"
"green screen? never heard of it"
dad's fallen asleep
han: and you said it was pretty here "yeah, there's no sand or swamp here, it's practically paradise!"
han: it's a hat, it's not gonna hurt you "and then she throws it at him"
"hmm, here comes the asthmatic again"
"yes i know, you're not telling me anything i don't know"
vader: i have felt him, my master "creepy"
"yes, let's keep splitting up. nothing bad could happen"
"i feel like the walking teddy bears are meant to be cute, but like furbies they're just... not"
han: i got a really bad feeling about this "i can't imagine why, han, it's not like you're tied to a pole by a bunch of walking teddy bears"
"it's nice of them to give her a new dress"
"luke's just like 'and i'm checking out now,  bye guys'"
leia: luke, what's wrong? "i just- i really hate walking teddy bears"
leia: tell me, what's the matter? "would you like it alphabetically or chronologically?"
leia: somehow, i've already known "what about the time you kissed him?"
luke: i can save him, i can turn him back mum: you can't me: now you're thinking like a jedi!
han: could you tell luke, is that who you could tell? dad: don't get weird mum: jealousy is very unattractive!
luke: i know there is good in you "really really really deep down" "nope, you could go mining for that one and not find it"
"he isn't convincing as a hero. he doesn't have the temperment or the jawline or anything. he'd be more convincing in the glee club than as a hero"
dad keeps talking about how at least the acting's better in this than the prequels and mum and i are just "eeeeeeeeeehhhhhh"
"vader's theme becomes a dirge after a  while"
luke: it is you who are mistaken "is mistaken"
"it's good that he had time to do his hair before coming out"
vader: it is pointless to resist, my son "don't talk to me old man"
leia: where are you going? "i'm joining the dark side laterzzzz"
palpatine: your fleet is lost... "god, you're still talking. yabber yabber yabber."
palpatine: your journey towards the dark side will be complete "you'll get to look as hot as i am. what's up, babe"
palpatine: if you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny "hello destiny!"
vader: you cannot hide forever, luke "but i thought we were playing hide and seek, dad! you promised!"
luke: i am a jedi, like my father before me "yeah, and it worked out so well for him"
"are you an ana-can, or an ana-can't? right now you're looking like an ana-can't"
"well he was remarkably easy to kill. how could he be emperor when he was such a wuss? i mean seriously"
"go on, just lie there and wheeze"
vader: help me take this mask off "ah, symbolic. symbolic"
"well dad, you're not very pretty are you? can i put the mask back on, that's how i'd prefer to remember you."
vader: you were right about me "you get to gloat about this for the rest of your life. give your old man a high five!"
han: you love him. i understand "it's cool, no really it's fine. i'm so cool with this."
she's nicknamed leia's ewok saffy
me: i'm so glad the people in cloud city are celebrating. i really cared about them. mum: same, i've been wondering where they were all movie
AHHH THIS MOVIE ADDED IN GUNGANS
GOD
BURN IT
me: small boy! dad: hang on. hang on hang on hang on.
he literally made me pause it two seconds before the movie was over to explain why they replaced him with hayden
and after i was done he just "....still dodgy."
mum's opinion on the movie: "well, it was one of the more amusing ones!"
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pokemaniacal · 7 years
Note
What are your thoughts on each Star Wars film, including Rogue One? Nothing elaborate like your usual posts! Just a few sentences for each film, maybe? And maybe a rating?
wait why is this my job
oh fine
Okay, so... unpopular opinion, but I don’t hate the prequels.  I mean, they’re clearly not great works of cinema, but I’m not old enough to have been part of, like, OG Star Wars fandom, so I don’t have the sense of “aaaargh childhood RUINED FOREVERRRRR,” and... I actually kinda like the brighter, more colourful world of the galaxy under the Republic; I even think the lighter tone makes sense for the story.  I don’t even hate Jar Jar Binks; heck, I don’t even hate midichlorians, although it doesn’t make a lot of sense that everyone seems to just... like... forget about them after Episode I.  Episode III rushes Anakin’s fall to the dark side and gives him the idiot ball a lot, but let’s be fair here, we already know from the previous two movies that he is an idiot, so...
The original trilogy is great, but to be honest I first watched it so long ago that I don’t actually remember what I thought about any of it at the time, and now it’s become so much a building block of something bigger in my mind that I find it difficult to actually have opinions about; it’s just there as an immutable landmark of the pop culture landscape.  I don’t know what I think of the twist of Darth Vader [uh... SPOILERS, I guess?] turning out to be Luke’s father in Episode V, because I literally can’t remember not knowing that.
Episode VII is... in a lot of ways, kind of eh?  Like, it feels like they were trying so hard to stay true to the original trilogy that they just remade Episode IV with a diverse 21st century cast (which, y’know, great, I approve, but come on, let them have their own plot), and also Harrison Ford still isn’t dead yet.  If Star Wars were owned by DC or Marvel instead of Lucasfilm and Disney, they could have just literally remade Episode IV (in fact, they probably would have done it two or three times by now) and rebooted the whole franchise, and in some ways that might have been a better choice.  I will give them this, though; I do think Kylo Ren is a really interesting villain, as a character who falls to the dark side and gets all the cool powers and stuff when he absolutely 100% is not ready for it and cannot handle it.  He shows how the dark side can seriously f$ you up in a way that, I think, we hadn’t seen before.  I also really enjoyed Rogue One; the whole “doomed mission” thing made for an interesting kind of storytelling, although I would like to point out that we see nothing of the “many Bothans [who] died to bring us this information,” which is just a real slap in the face to the many brave sacrifices of the Bothan people.  Or something.
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rainright · 7 years
Text
Movies I want more than a Han Solo movie: 
OBI-WAN
Rogue Squadron! 
The Jedi Order, but Before Anakin Came Along and Ruined It
Lando, But, Just, Like, By Himself?
Mon Mothma’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
“Many Bothans Died To Get Us This Information”
Luke Skywalker Does Absolutely Nothing In The Middle Of a Desert For 19 Years
Bail Organa and the Trials of Fatherhood (”Where did you get this baby?” “Uh . .  I found it?” “Whose baby is that?” “Not an evil Sith Lord’s if that’s what you’re asking!”) 
Jabba the Hutt’s Rise to Power 
The Adventures of, uh, Lara Kade, Who Certainly Isn’t Based on Any Old EU Character Shut Up
Dash Rendar: The Movie
C-3PO and R2 Have Implausible Adventures Across the Galaxy
Jacen Ben Solo Has Hilarious Shenanigans With A Bunch Of Other Padawans 
LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE
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dianablackwell · 7 years
Text
Remember Them - a Rogue One fic
This was inspired by the scene in Return of the Jedi when Mon Mothma ends her briefing about the Death Star with “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.” I like to think that after the events of Rogue One, she and Leia decided to keep alive the memory of all the fallen heroes of the Rebellion. Thank you for reading!
“You wanted to know who they were.”
Mon Mothma approached Leia in the main control room on Yavin 4, as Leia stood coordinating the fleet’s jump into hyperspace. The celebrations after the Death Star’s destruction had barely faded before the Alliance began to dismantle their base. It was simply too dangerous to remain on the small moon now that the Empire knew of its location.
Leia followed her into one of the nearby briefing rooms, where Mon Mothma handed Leia a holoscreen. “Those are the names of the missing or unaccounted for after the battles of Scarif and Yavin. It’s very likely they are the men and women who facilitated getting us the plans.”
“These are the volunteers.”
“No. The group took it upon themselves to infiltrate the military installation on Scarif without the Council’s knowledge.”
“The mission was unauthorized?”
“Not exactly. I did order air and ground support, but only after I learned our people had gone...rogue.” A hint of a smile faded as quickly as it appeared. She stepped to a nearby console and called up a security holovid. A small Imperial cargo ship lifted out of Yavin base and blasted into the sky.
“That ship could hardly have held a dozen men,” Leia said. She heard the technician logging the ship’s call sign before the vid cut out.
"Nonetheless, Captain Andor gathered a small hand-picked squad to stage the raid on the data bank.”
“Cassian Andor.” As a rebel spy, his name was not on the list, or any record for that matter. She had heard her father speak of him long before she’d met the man. When she didn’t see him for the medal ceremony or celebrations afterward, Leia hoped perhaps he was on yet another mission for the Alliance, far away from the Death Star.
She was filled with regret now she learned he was at the center of it all along.
Mon Mothma continued, “We think there were at least six of them. He and Jyn Erso led the squad. His droid, K-2SO was the only support he ever tolerated. I’m sure his assistance was essential in the completion of the mission. And I would lay odds it was them who personally transmitted the plans to us, at great risk, and at cost of their lives.”
Leia nodded. After her own experience as a prisoner and eventual escape from the Death Star, she knew exactly how fortunate she, Luke and Han were to have survived. “You said there were six.”
“They were aided by an Imperial defector, a pilot named Bodhi Rook. He was last posted on Eadu. That’s how he became the contact for Galen Erso. There doesn’t seem to be much information on him. He was an ordinary man.”
“Not ordinary at all, Senator. Without him, I daresay none of this would have happened.”
“Of course, you’re right, Princess.” Mon Mothma took back the list, considering the people behind the names. “When Andor returned from his mission with Erso, they were accompanied by two other men. I did a little digging myself among those here who briefly interacted with them. They called themselves Chirrut Imwe and Baze Malbus. According to how our people described them, they were most certainly Guardians of the Whills.” 
“I see. From the temple at Jedha.” The mysterious power known as the Force, which Leia believed existed but didn’t understand, continued to guide the actions of so many.
Before she could ask more, an aide entered the room to inform them the fleet was nearly ready and for the two leaders to prepare to go to their ships.
The two women strode out of the room and down the hallways crowded with busy personnel. They paused at the entrance to the main hanger. “No one asked them to take on this responsibility, Leia. In fact we denied them our approval, which I deeply regret. I’m only gratified I was able to give them some of our support in the end.”
“You did what you needed to do. I’m grateful to know this. Thank you.”
Mon Mothma smiled at the young leader. “I’ll see you at the rendezvous point.” 
Leia walked to the far side of the Massassi temple, where she found Luke prepping his X-Wing. His face lit up with a huge smile as he saw her draw near. Luke held out both hands which Leia grasped in hers. She was quiet. “What is it?” he asked.
“I have something to tell you. About a group of people called Rogue One.”
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iainwrites · 4 years
Text
Return of the Jedi Assorted Thoughts
-Like the whole bit about Jabba’s Palace?  Pick up “Tales from Jabba’s Palace,” an old Legends anthology that focuses on the side characters you’d see there.  That weird spider walking thing at the beginning?  You learn about them.  The big guy who cried when the rancor died?  You learn his story.  The frog-dog thing?  He gets a story.
-So, what’s the story on Jedi Rock?  Why did Luca do away with the disco-ish thing that was originally part of the film and go for a brand new song/brand new CGI… oh wait.  Lucas.  New technology to “show his true vision” of Star Wars.  Nevermind.
-Did you know: that when they were doing the Special Editions and wanted to add the scene of Oola getting chomped by the rancor, they found out, “Huh.  Femi Taylor (Oola’s actress) is apparently immortal because she hasn’t really aged since 1983.”  So they got in contact with her, she got painted green again, and was eaten alive.  Now you know.
-Can you imagine what RotJ would be like if Ford got what he wished for and Han had just died off?  Yeah.  That was a real possibility for this movie: Ford had said he was done, so Lucas gave him an out and a chance to come back if he changed his mind.  Obviously he did, but just think about it.  What the sequel trilogy would have been like?  
-Does Yoda really have to keep saying Luke’s name on his deathbed?  Here’s his last bit:
Luke...Luke...Do not...Do not underestimate the powers of the Emperor, or suffer your father's fate, you will. Luke, when gone am I (cough), the last of the Jedi will you be. Luke, the Force runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned, Luke…
Not edited, not embellished.  5 times in as many lines.
-You know that line “Many Bothans died to bring us this information?”  In Legends, a Bothan trying to get ahead in the Republic would whip that old card out if they didn’t get what they thought they deserved.  “Some of my people DIED, so why am I not getting the treatment I want?”  Draw your own parallels.
-The whole “Do you remember your mother” thing is so dumb, especially with Ep 3 revealling how long the twins actually knew their mother.  Less than half an hour.  Less than a quarter of an hour.  I can understand Lucas trying to tie the eras together, but at least try to do it in a neat and tidy way?
-Did you know: Palpatine’s first name is Sheev.  That’s it.  No other joke.  The most feared man in the universe, the one who toppled the senate and all his opponents, he who defeated the Jedi Order, he who defied death… was named Sheev.
-There’s really no way the Ewoks should have won against a single one of the AT-ST’s.  I can give them ground fighting against the stormtroopers.  But outside of deus ex Wookie, they didn’t have a hope.
-I know that “run for your life” is a pretty basic thing to do in an emergency, but why doesn’t a single person stop to help Luke pull Vader to the hanger?  Sure, the guy will brain choke people that screw up.  Sure, he’s an almighty terror.  But there has to be some sense of loyalty to a superior in that case.  Some members of the 501st must have been running around with enough moral fortitude to go, “Damn.  Boss is down.  Form up and help the dude in heels.”
-Wedge’s kill count in Legends: 2 Death Stars, 64 TIES, 17 Interceptors, 6 Bombers a few years after Endor.  And the dude kept adding to that tally, to the point that the Rogue mechanic realized he couldn’t feasibly paint all the kill marks, so every TIE symbol actually meant 12.  Wedge broke the Alliance’s paint budget by being too much of a non-Force using badass.
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rawinternets · 6 years
Text
Star Wars Episode 6: A rediscovery.
I’ve now reviewed Rogue One, Ep4, Ep5, all three prequels. It’s finally time to get back to the good stuff - Return of the Jedi. ROTJ is often cited as most people’s favorite from their childhood, but not necessarily on re-watch. Why? I was pretty sure I knew: it’s the shameless commercialism of the Ewoks, the derivative plotlines (another Death Star! More sneaking around Empire bases!) and so on. But truly, this movie is also very enjoyable. 
Upon re-reading my notes - there are far less of them, I think because I was actually into the movie again instead of analyzing everything. With Episode 1 and 2′s terrible dialogue and wooden acting and annoying plotlines, my brain was whizzing about, trying to understand just how these movies could be so bad. With Ep3, I felt myself analyzing how this film somehow *was* landing, and why it was different than the first two. With ROTJ, I got back to losing myself in the story, even though I was trying to remain conscious of the task at hand. 
While there are a couple lows (the Ewoks are mediocre at best as an adult-viewer, and George Lucas makes an inexcusable CGI addition to Jabba’s palace...), all in all this movie really fires. And what’s more - some of the most enthralling scenes in the entirety of the series occur here, and they don’t all include fighting and violence. I’m talking about the Emperor turning Luke. This is where the R1-4-5-1-2-3-6 order really works... we go from watching the Emperor turn Anakin in Ep3 right into the Emperor back at his old tricks with Luke. In both movies, the mind games and manipulation are really well done. I had many “Holy Shit!” 10-scene moments throughout ROTJ, mostly around the throne room, but prior to the climactic Vader redemption scene (which, surprisingly, was just OK). 
In fact, although this movie didn’t grade quite as high as Ep4 and Ep5, it has by far the most “10″ scenes, all of them (except “It’s a Trap!”) involving Luke and the Emperor in the build-up to the climax, when things are looking so grim for the rebellion and for Luke. Sure, I suppose I could have lumped more of these together, but each is so powerful on its own that I felt in the moment they deserved their own line items. 
Onto the scores. 
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Average Score: 7.90 Standard deviation: 1.91
Scroll. 8. To the point and does the trick. 
Death Star and Vader. 9.  Beautiful new shot, with Death Star and Star Destroyer. The empire space visuals are so consistently amazing in this series. Great angry vader: “The Emperor does not share your optimism.” Great music. Great punchy scene.
Jabba’s Castle. 7. The big door is cool - C3PO sucks as always. Cool little eye in the peephole, and the big door opens. Pig guards are George Lucas trying too hard. Jabba is a pretty cool character. Luke wants to barter with him, there’s a little rat character that is fine, Solo is a wall decoration, and C3PO sucks again. Fine set of scenes. 
Jabba’s band. 1. George Lucas strikes again. He inserts a fully-CGI alien band, looking like a drunk person’s recollection of alien muppets, singing in a language that sounds like scat-man as a toddler. So unnecessary. Also, Jabba is rapey. 
Rancor eats a chick, Chewbacca, Lando in disguise. 6. I remember loving this whole Jabba sequence as a kid but it’s not really landing right now. The bounty hunter is Leia? Couldn’t they have sent someone less important? Han getting re-warmed is a cool visual. 
Han woken up. 6. Still can’t buy that they’d send Leia to rescue Han. Han’s blindness is kinda lame and the jokes are too. The Jabba sidekicks are also lame. Not loving this. 
Luke and the Rancor. 8. Luke falls into the Rancor pit and tries Jedi shit and it doesn’t work. But he’s clever and kills the Rancor. Pretty good job, pretty good scene. My roommate likes the crying monster. 
Sarlacc pit & Jabba’s ship. 6-8. Cool desert beasts, really cool desert ship. R2 as a cocktail waiter is funny. Luke: “Free us, or die.” And R2 shoots the lightsaber to Luke and the fighting begins. Lando cliffhangs, Boba Fett vs. Luke is cool, and Boba Fett dies an ignominious death (apparently in canon he actually survives). All in all, it’s a bit hokey and prequel-like, so I assume George had his grubby hands in here. Leia strangles Jabba, Luke flails away with the lightsaber looking really badly trained (in great contrast to the expertise of Ep3), and Lando kind of gets saved from the Sarlacc pit with a rifle. Some 6, some 8, hard to disentangle from my memories of the scene.
Emperor arrives at the Death Star. 9. Incredibly beautiful shots, great heft and foreshadowing. 
Yoda dies. 9.  “When 900 years old you reach, look as good, you will not.” Great line. Love Yoda - this version, not the Shaun-White-Parkour-Tasmanian-Devil lightsaber version. He tells Luke he’s not a Jedi yet, that he must face Vader. Not ready for the burden! Rushed to face him! Luke made a mistake! “Jedi strength flows from the force. Beware anger, fear, aggression. Dark side. Once you start down that path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Luke. Don't underestimate the Emperor.” Very good stuff from Yoda all around. And this part: there is another Skywalker!!! (but it never matters?) 
Obi-wan force ghost. 9. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Vader did kill your father... from a certain point of view.” Luke must face Vader again, but Luke won’t... “Then the Emperor has already won.” And then of course... It’s Leia. 
Attack Prep. 7. “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.” I thought that line inspired Rogue One, but apparently not. Here we are again... a Death Star and a small crack team preparing to take it down. 
Emperor Confident. 8. Just another great punchy scene. 
Shuttle Tiberium. 9. Sneaking onto Endor to disable the DS’s shield... and we’re just like Rogue One again with the access codes. Vader on his Super Star Destroyer senses something... Good Chewy and Han tension. But Luke knows he’s endangering the mission. Vader is such a badass. 
Endor/Speeders. 9. The first thing I wrote for this scene was “C3PO SHUT THE F*** UP” but notwithstanding that outburst, this unique, gripping, and beautiful scene gets a great score. The Redwoods are recognizable to Northern Californians but few others, and as in real life, they are majestic and mysterious on film here. Amazing sound effects. The tension of possibly being outed by a patrolman is very high. Luke cuts off the front of a speeder with the lightsaber... so sweet. 
First Ewok. 8. Contrary to what you might remember, the Ewoks do not always suck. The first teddybear that finds Leia is kind of menacing. They avoid capture and make friends but it’s a pretty good scene. 
Vader and Emperor. 9. The Emperor is so damn badass.
Caught in Ewok trap. 5. More George Lucas Hijinx! Hokey. OK with Ewoks, not OK with C3PO becoming their God. 
In the Ewok village. 4. C3PO on the throne. Luke does force stuff. R2 shocks an Ewok and he does a stupid jump. Meh. 
C3PO telling Ewoks a story. 4. I guess the power of a story? They get help from the Ewoks. meh. 
Luke and Leia. 7. Luke has to face him. Decent scene between the two. 
Vader lands on Endor. 9. Beautiful shots here. Vader and Luke interaction. Search your feelings (again). "It is too late for me, son." Vulnerability there. A bit of foreshadowing. I like!
Shield generator attack begins. 7.  A little cheesy that the Ewok grabs the speeder and we do the chasing again, but I guess it serves the plot.
The rebel forces amass. 9. The rebel fleet is amazing. Very pretty. In retrospect (fore-spect?) the heterogeneous fleet reminds of Battlestar Galactica. 
Luke meets the Emperor. 10. Shit! Things sound very bad! 
Shield Generator Fail. 8. Uh oh! 
It’s a Trap! 10.  This all happens so fast, last two scenes and then this. Great music, great twist moment. Totally unforeseen. Admiral Ackbar gets his moment and forever becomes an internet meme and a real world reference. This space battle is intense.
Emperor turning Luke. 10.  Emperor seems to have all the cards. "it is your destiny."
Ewok's revenge. 7.  Mmmmmm. Actually not as bad as I remember because the Ewoks are a bit dangerous, even if primitive. OK, some dumb shit. Swinging ropes like tarzan, flying around with wings and dropping rocks. Self-hitting. Decent physical humor but also meh. Decent job with the emotional Ewok friends death.
Fully operational! 10.  Fuuuuuck! The Emperor is smart! Shit! Scene is a 9, but gets a 10 because of importance.
Luke tries to kill emperor. 10. Such a mindfuck. Pretty amazing.
End of the endor battle. 7. Meh. It’s fine. 
Luke and Darth fight. 10.  Let the hate flow through you.
Luke and Darth fight 2. 10.  Luke tries to hide and not fight.  "Your thoughts betray you. Sister! Twin sister. You have betrayed her too.” Stilted dialogue. Luke's love for Leia gives him power. Very much like Darth in the prequels. Darth’s hand cutoff. Fantastic music. Emperor: “Your hate has made you powerful. Fulfill your destiny.” He thinks back to his own hand destroyed and how he is like his father. Really great storytelling.
Attack on the death star. 8.  These visuals are really cool. But it’s a bit ridiculous to fly through the Death Star with a ship as big as the Millennium Falcon. I mean, the first DS was destroyed by a torpedo going down a tube not more than a meter wide... why would they engineer this thing to have a corridor wide enough for fighters to fly through, and right to the core reactor which will blow the entire thing up? 
Darth turns back. 9. It’s such a big moment, but is it actually well done? Emperor: "you will pay the price for your lack of vision." "Noooooo!" Hmmmm. it was great but it wasn't a 10. A bit hokey on the script. Why not cut the Emperor in half with a lightsaber? We’ve seen Jedi defy gravity before, why not assume he will survive? 
Anakin dies. Luke escapes. 8. “Take off the mask. you already saved me. Tell your sister you were right.” Great musical choices.
Han and Leia kiss. 7. Meh, it’s fine. 
Celebrations. 9. Good reunions and happy stuff. A bit cheesy but pretty good. 
Anakin/Darth funeral. 9. Pretty emotional. Pretty good. 
Credits. 7. WTF with this music choice. 
VERDICT: Things that will stick with me include: speeders, Emperor, and the Sarlacc pit. Speeders and Emperor are just awesome. Sarlacc pit was fine but memorable. This movie is entertaining, and yet, the most blockbuster-y of the original three, and that doesn’t sit as well with me at the end. But did I enjoy it? Surely and absolutely, yes, I did. ROTJ has far and away the most amounts of 9′s and 10′s of any of the films... only a few missteps keep it from being crowned as the best film in the franchise. 
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REVIEW LINKS:
Introduction: Star Wars, a rediscovery.
Rogue One: 6.92 / 10.00 (stdev 2.06).
Episode 4: A New Hope. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.34).
Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.29).
Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 5.00 / 10.00 (stdev 2.08). But probably worse than that, actually.
Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. 5.48 / 10.00 (stdev 2.07).
Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. 7.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.77).
Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. 7.90 / 10.00 (stdev 1.91).
Episode 7: The Force Awakens. 6.57 / 10.00 (stdev 2.01).
Episode 8: The Last Jedi. 6.31 / 10.00 (stdev 1.89).
Verdict: Star Wars, A rediscovery.
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