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strangersteddierthings · 1 year

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Shovel Talk(s) Part One

Part One 🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four

Steve and Eddie aren't even together when Steve gets the Shovel Talk from Eddie's uncle, but it is what tips Steve into talking to Eddie about his feelings, so he's not upset by it.

They aren't dating, not because he doesn't want Eddie, because he absolutely does. It's just that he wants to be sure Eddie wants him back. There are times when he's sure, when Eddie gets into his space a bit too close, or more often, than he does with anyone else. Eddie calls him a thousand and one nicknames, ranging from sweet to irritating but just when Steve thinks that's a perk left just for him, Eddie hands someone else a new nickname (just the one, a voice in Steve's head that sounds suspiciously like Robin says).

Not that any of that is the point. Wayne wouldn't bother to give Steve a shovel talk at all unless he knew how Eddie felt. Wayne is a man of action, and he's never done anything unless it mattered. Meant something. Steve and Wayne have sat in plenty of (what Steve considers to be) awkward silences because Wayne doesn't talk to fill the void of silence.

The point is, Steve drops Eddie off at the house the government so graciously bought for the Munsons, walks Eddie to the door and giving Eddie a hug goodbye. He stays on the porch until Eddie shuts the door and then nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Wayne call out his name.

"Harrington," Wayne says from the shadows of the wrap around porch.

So, Steve jumps and it's only then he notices that Wayne is sitting at the table and chairs set up on the porch. "Mr. Munson, sir, hi. Hello."

Wayne lets out a chuckle, but it doesn't really sound amused. "I have come to accept that you are nothing like your father, boy, but I do want to make it clear to you, that Eddie means more to me than anything else on this Earth."

"I know, sir."

"I know you do. And while I will forever be grateful that you helped return him to me alive, know that I will not hesitate to make you disappear if you hurt my boy in a way he can't bounce back from."

Steve's not afraid of Wayne, not really, but that doesn't stop him from feeling the need to flee. He doesn't, though, because he'd gotten enough shovel talks from concerned parents in high school, and he knows they can sense weakness. "I can't promise I'd never hurt him, sir, but I can promise it'll never be intentional."

He can't actually see Wayne's face in the darkness but he feels sized up all the same.

"I believe that, Steve," Wayne says, and it's the first time Steve's ever heard his name leave the man's mouth, "now go home."

Wayne's shovel talk was expected. Robin's is not.

"You took Eddie on a date date?" She whispers it as though they aren't alone in Steve's living room. They're laying on the floor in a line, heads next to each other so if they turn slightly to the side they can make eye contact. Steve's not sure why they always end up on the floor for Serious Talk Time.

"Yeah," Steve says, looking away from Robin's face to stare up to the ceiling, "I mean, sorta? We can't like... be open that it was a date, but we went to dinner and a movie and it was nice. Shared a popcorn and played footsie under the diner table."

"Whoa," Robin says. "I never thought you'd- didn't think you'd be brave enough to ask him."

"Me either."

"Steve," Robin sounds serious, so Steve turns to look at her. She studies his face for a moment before she's the one to look away, speaks to the ceiling, "be careful with Eddie, yeah?"

"What? Careful how?"

"I just think you could really fuck him up," Robin says. "You're his first boyfriend, right? That's going to set a precedent for relationships that might happen if you two don't work out. And I hate to say this, because I know you've changed, but like, I saw how a lot of those girls you dated in high school ended up when you broke up with them."

Steve's a little hurt, because Robin's his best friend. She should be giving this talk to Eddie, not him. But, also, he understands. He knows that Robin knew about Eddie's sexuality before he did, knows they bonded over being queer while Steve was still figuring himself out.

Steve also knows that Eddie's never been in a relationship before, Eddie'd told him at much when Steve asked him out. Steve doesn't like that Robin implied that he and Eddie will eventually break up, but no matter how much that thought makes Steve's heart ache, he won't know if it'll happen unless it does.

He just doesn't understand why she seems to think he'll be the one breaking Eddie's heart. It could go the other way.

"Did you OD over there?" Robin asks, trying to lighten the mood.

"No," Steve answers, "I'll be careful."

They've been on four more dates before Nancy knocks on his door. She doesn't accept his invitation to come inside. Just starts speaking on his doorstep.

"As Eddie's Capital P Soulmate," is how she starts that sentence, and it makes something hurt deep inside Steve as he tries not to think about Robin, "I am obligated to remind you that I do own several guns now. And I don't miss."

"Jesus Christ," Steve says, because even Wayne was more subtle, "I got it."

"Good. I do know you'd never hurt him on purpose," Nancy says but Steve doesn't feel reassured.

He thinks that, if she really didn't think he's going to end up hurting Eddie she wouldn't have said anything at all. "Right."

"Well, good talk Steve," and then she's walking down the driveway and climbing into her car.

He closes the door and goes to the kitchen to get himself a beer, mostly so he has something to do besides stew in his emotions. He wonders if Eddie has been given the shovel talk, too? Maybe Robin did the same thing Nancy just did. Showed up unprompted, threatened Eddie with some sort of bodily harm, and then just left.

Steve grabs the phone and dials Eddie's number.

"Hello?" Eddie's voice greets him, albeit questioningly.

"Eddie, it's Steve."

"Oh, hello sweetheart," Eddie says, "are you calling for business or pleasure?"

Steve laughs, "business."

"Boo!"

"Listen, uh, I had a question. I just wanted to know if anyone's said anything to you. About us. Or, y'know, specifically about us and our relationship?"

"Uh, not really? A few congratulations, I guess. Why? Did someone say something?" Eddie's voice is level, almost too level, so Steve knows he's trying to keep cool.

"Oh, no! No! I mean, aside from the scary shovel talk from- Wayne, everyone's been surprisingly cool about it. Very supportive," Steve says and even though it's true, everyone they've told has been cool about it, it feels a little bit like a lie.

Eddie laughs, "I can't believe my uncle gave you a shovel talk! You know, I keep expecting to get one from Robin but so far nothing. She must think you're safe in my capable hands."

Steve is safe in Eddie's hand, he thinks, but that doesn't stop the sting that goes through him. "Of course, she does. You've been a perfect boyfriend."

There's a pause before Eddie's voice comes through the phone, soft and quiet, "I'm glad you said so. I want to be. For you."

"You're not allowed to say those kinds of things when you aren't within kissing distance, babe," Steve says, because if he doesn't add humor to this conversation, he's going to tell Eddie he loves him instead, and even Steve knows that saying that a month into dating is too soon, especially over the phone where he can't see Eddie's reaction.

Eddie laughs and makes kissing sounds at him before the conversation shifts to chatting about the day and making plans for the weekend.

Steve is trying really hard to not be the person he was in high school but every time he gets to the point where he's being a better person, someone brings up how he used to be. Shoves it back into his face that no matter what Steve does he can't outrun his past.

One such time is shortly after Steve and Eddie accidentally come out as a couple to all of Hellfire. Steve was just dropping off the boys and had stepped inside to chat a bit. Once game time had arrived it had and Steve made to leave, they'd (he and Eddie) had been on autopilot. Eddie'd whined 'where's my goodbye kiss?' and Steve had stepped over, kissed him goodbye, and was out the door before it had actually computed.

Steve had burst back through the door, rushing back to Eddie, because no way in Hell was he going to leave his boyfriend to deal with whatever the consequences would be alone.

It had been absolute chaos at the table with people shouting over each other.

"Of all the people you could be with, you picked Steve!? You could do better!" Mike had whined, and Steve had thought for sure he was the only one who had heard Mike until he saw Will punch his arm and hiss his own 'don't be a dick' at Mike.

It took almost half an hour to calm everyone down. It was a relief to know that Eddie had come out to his bandmates/the older Hellfire members already. The kids took it in stride, in the end, and Eddie had shoo'd Steve away.

Jeff had excused himself, too, and Steve thought he was just going to use the bathroom but instead he followed Steve outside.

Ah. Steve knows what's coming.

"Harrington," Jeff says, "can't say I'm excited that you're the secret boyfriend Eddie's constantly sighing wistfully about. I'm sure Wayne's already threatened you," And Robin, and Nancy, and Mike doesn't think he's good enough, "but if you hurt Eddie-"

"I get it! There will be dire consequences if I hurt Eddie," Steve snaps, not down for hearing it anymore. He stomps to his car and peels away from the curb without bothering to look back.

If he's being honest, Steve didn't even know he had a breaking point with shovel talks until he gets his fifth one from Dustin.

It's not even a shovel talk. It's just a single sentence, said almost a month after Dustin learned about their relationship. He's dropping Dustin off after their DnD game. Normally Claudia picks him up, but she's busy tonight and asked Steve to do it.

"Alright, Henderson, safely delivered."

"Thanks, Steve," Dustin says, unbuckles his seatbelt, and opens the door, before turning back to Steve. He just looks at him for a moment.

"What?"

"I'm happy for you and Eddie. Just, don't hurt him, ok?"

He nods his head but can't say anything. Dustin grabs his backpack, shoots him a smile, and climbs out. Steve does wait until Dustin closes the front door behind him before putting the car back in gear.

He manages to get home, somehow, because Steve doesn't fully remember the drive. It's not that his mind was so focused on something else that made him fail to take in his surroundings, but rather that his mind wasn't even a part of his body anymore.

One moment he was pulling away from the Henderson residence, and the next, he was home, just standing in his kitchen in the dark. And now that his thoughts are back, or easier to process, he finds himself wondering why everyone thinks that he's going to be the one to hurt Eddie.

How many people has he hurt that this is his reputation? Is it inevitable that he will hurt Eddie? Is it truly just a matter of time until he breaks Eddies heart? Why is everyone so convinced that he will?

Briefly the thought occurs to him that maybe he should call up Eddie and break up with him right now, before Eddie has a chance to get in deep enough that Steve could break his heart, but just the thought of it breaks Steve's heart, so he's not going to do that. Doesn't want to do that. That would just be punishing Eddie for something he didn't do.

None of this is Eddie's fault, and Steve's an asshole for even thinking of breaking up with him because of it. Which feeds him back into the loop of thinking that maybe everyone is right about him. He is an asshole and will someday hurt Eddie, perhaps even on purpose.

He loves Eddie. He's in love with Eddie. But does loving him mean proving his friends wrong? Or does it mean leaving him before they're proven right?

He wants to ask everyone why they think he'll hurt Eddie.

He wants to ask everyone why they don't care if he's the one that gets hurt.

#steddie #my fic #we like making steve a sad emotional mess right guys?#steve-centric #we gotta make the boy Sad so that his boyfriend can fix him #is that healthy? not IRL but this is fanfic and if i want Love to solve all the problems then im allowed to do that #only itll be in part two #that might get written one day #is steve putting words into his friends' mouths #yeah duh the boy needs therapy but its the 80s so hes not getting any

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robanilla-arts · 1 month

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nobody requested ink and nightmare for the rare pair prompt so i guess i had to do it myself

#robanilla-arts #my art #i love them your honor #im joking btw ahskdhjd lmaoooo #A LOT of people requesting Dream actually 🤔#I want to draw him in a harem situation bc in my silly brain Dream would be SO SMUG about having ten boyfriends #i mean. canonically he would probably be SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE but like ignore that for a second and just remember #and or imagine for a second #that Dream likes genuine attention that uplifts and supports him and maybe flirts with him all the time with no expectation of return and #skshddiekkdjfj GOD #this isnt the dream ship post this is the inkmare post #inkmare #ink sans #nightmare sans #ink x nightmare #I just think Nightmare and Ink would be beautifully horrible together #Ink's affection tastes like nothing and thats perfect for him #nightmare listens to Ink ramble about diddly squat like its a podcast in the background of his other activities #Nightmare and Ink fight all the time its kinda like error and ink but nightmare just messes with story trajectories instead of threatening #their very existence #so like imagine for a second that its very homoerotic and gay okay????? okay.#rant over skdhdjdj sorrry lmaoo

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amugoffandoms · 3 months

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Woo!! It's time! It's time for the gift exchange!! (@milgram-valentines-exchange) Happy Valentine's Day to @mrcrazyvillainvillainn!! I had such a fun time writing your gift!! Truly gotta let Mahiru and Mikoto be silly and happy! I really hope you enjoy!! I've never written a ship fic for any of the prisoners, so I guess we ball?? (Also, let me know if you want the art without the titles!!) JIAWODJIAOW Anyways, here we go! Please enjoy...

do i dare love you? (i have always loved you)

Is this selfish? This isn’t too much, is it? I just love you so much. How long would this dream go on? I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness~ Do you really think you know what love is? You don’t have to keep it in and hide it away. "I love you", the reason why I'm here This is how "I" will love "you"! --- "To be honest, Mikoto Kayano didn't know what to expect." "Mahiru Shiina fixes the flowers in a bouquet and hands it off to the customer." (Mikoto Kayano and Mahiru Shiina love each other in the smallest of moments.)

To be honest, Mikoto Kayano didn't know what to expect. Getting a mysterious call out of the blue? Well, ah… That’s sure to scare him.

No, no, everything’s fine. No need to resort to anything crazy.

Mikoto exhales and splashes some water on his face. Turning off the sink, he looks up at the mirror and flashes himself a smile.

…ah, okay, that was a little embarrassing. Mikoto laughs to himself as he walks out of the bathroom and back to his desk.

He drums his pen against his desk as he moves his mouse around to turn his computer back on. Placing his head on his hand, he scrolls through emails and emails.

…

It’s just the same emails. “Fix that.” “I liked the original design better; can you do it again?” “The deadline moved. Make sure your designs are ready for–”

Ping!

Mikoto blinks and glances over at his phone.

New Message: make sure to come soon!

Right, yeah. Mikoto has to head back home soon. Okay, he should really get a start on his work so he can head home early!

Sitting straight, Mikoto pulls up some designs on his computer and grabs the small stack of papers.

With one more glance at the ideas given, Mikoto starts designing.

Mikoto leans back in his chair and slumps back. The design… is done! This is where Mikoto pretends to hear a soft achievement noise. Ding!

Anyways, Mikoto exhales and looks at the papers on his desk. The design is nice! One of his finest designs, actually. He flips through the papers and nods to himself, happy with the result.

In the corner of his eye, he notices his boss and quickly waves him down. The second his boss looks at him with a small smile, Mikoto realizes his desk is an absolute mess.

Ack–! Why did he leave his energy drink can here? Oh, these papers need to be in a folder–

Right after Mikoto finishes rearranging his desk, his boss finally makes it to his desk.

“Chief! I finished the design you wanted me to make!” Mikoto hands the stack of designs with a small smile. His boss blinks, clearly surprised at how fast Mikoto finished the designs. He flips through the small stack, checking each design.

His serious expression seriously doesn’t tell me anything… Mikoto internally groans.

“Good job, Kayano.” His boss places the stack underneath his arm. “These will probably suffice for our client. Do you have other designs that need to be completed?” “Ah, um–” Mikoto looks around at his desk. He doesn’t think he does. “...No…?’

“Oh?” His boss asks, surprised for some reason. Hey, Mikoto knows how to finish his work if it isn’t being constantly changed! “Ah… Alright then… I guess you…” His boss looks around the office. “...Actually, it looks like everyone is preoccupied.”

Mikoto shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Please don’t give him more work. Please don’t give him more work.

His boss lifts his wrist and looks at his watch. “Hm… It’s seven. Earlier than I would like to let anyone out.”

Oh, please. Please. Please-!!

His boss sighs. “Alright, Kayano. You may head home early today. I’m only doing this because you’ve got most of your work under control and I unfortunately don’t want to bother your coworkers with giving you their work.” You would anyway, but you seem to be in good spirits today…? “Thank you, Chief!” Mikoto smiles. “Don’t expect this often from me. Have a good night.” His boss turns right around and walks away, going over to a different cubicle. Mikoto watches as his boss walks away and pumps his fist.

Woo! I’m free! Mikoto grins to himself as he packs his stuff into his bag. Standing up, he shuts his computer off and looks around. To be honest, he feels really bad for his coworkers…

But, he promised to get home as soon as he could. Mikoto glances at his phone, specifically that one notification.

make sure to come soon!

He doesn’t want to break his promise. So, with a quiet exhale, he walks to the elevator and clicks the button to go down. The elevator doors open.

He walks in.

…

“…oh, I forgot to press the button to the lobby–” Mikoto mumbles as he quickly clicks the button down.

Mikoto hears the key click in the lock and turns the doorknob. As he walks into his apartment, the lights are all out.

“I could’ve sworn I left the lights on…?” Mikoto mumbles as he takes the key out of the lock and shrugs off his coat. He slowly walks through his apartment, fumbling for the lights.

His hands land on the switch and Mikoto flips the lights on–

Arms wrap around Mikoto’s neck. Something makes Mikoto twitch. “Surprise~!”

Mikoto jumps.

Mahiru laughs above him as Mikoto lies on the ground, dazed. “Ma– Mappi???” Someone relaxes.

“Hehe~ Did I scare you?” Mahiru giggles, absolutely beaming. “A… a little, yeah!” Mikoto dusts himself off. “I think I hit my head… Ow…”

Mahiru’s laughter immediately stops. “Ah– did I hurt you? Hey, let me see–” Mahiru quickly kneels on the floor and scoots next to Mikoto. “No, no. I’m okay, I promise– Please don’t worry!” Mikoto gives a weak smile. “Let me just look, okay?” Mahiru says, with a soft voice filled with concern. (Her voice is always soft, but these moments, they're just a little bit more comforting. Maybe it’s Mikoto being too detail-oriented recently, but he’s decided to notice the smaller things.)

Mikoto swallows. “Okay.”

She looks at the back of Mikoto’s head, checking for any bumps or bruises. The moment is silent as Mahiru looks all over Mikoto’s head for anything and Mikoto sits there, quiet.

To be honest, he doesn’t want to say anything. He doesn’t want to ruin it. It’s… those small moments, right? When you know someone loves you. Those are the moments you want to hold in your hands because they’re so fuzzy and warm.

“I love you,” Mikoto whispers.

There’s a pause. Mahiru stops checking his hair. Her hands are still. She’s not moving.

Did he ruin it? Maybe he should apologize and–

“I love you, too,” Mahiru whispers back.

And, they’re back to silence.

Mahiru scoots back in front of him. “You’re okay. Nothing too bad, okay?”

She says it with a voice that makes him know she cares: a warm, loving voice. It makes him want to cry just because she loves him.

And, he loves her. And, he'll make sure she knows that.

“Okay,” Mahiru says, her voice oddly strained. Is… is she about to cry? “Um… Okay, I made some food for you. I– I know you don’t usually like big gestures and I really shouldn’t push myself, but… I think you deserve it, okay?” “Okay.” Mikoto nods. He stands up and gives a hand to Mahiru, who takes it with a small giggle. “Hehe, this feels like a fairy tale~” She hums.

“Hey, can I…?” “Eh? Do what?” Mahiru asks, with a tilted head. “I mean, whatever it is, I don’t mind~”

Mikoto places a small kiss on Mahiru’s cheek. “Ah–!! Hey–! Oh–” She’s red, blushing from ear to ear.

Mikoto laughs. “That was payback.” “Oh, you-!!” Mahiru has an angry look, but her smile says otherwise. “Fine, fine! That’s fair. Okay, come on, let’s eat~ I don’t want our food to be cold!” Mahiru grabs Mikoto’s hand in hers, trying to drag him over to the table.

Her hands are warm. Mahiru quickly pauses as she looks at Mikoto and their hands. “Is everything okay…?” Mikoto nods.

“Everything’s perfect.”

Mahiru Shiina fixes the flowers in a bouquet and hands it off to the customer. “Have a good afternoon~” She grins.

As the shopkeeper’s bell rings to show the customer has left, Mahiru sighs and melts into the counter. “Shiina…? Are you alright?” One of her coworkers asks as they walk over. Mahiru mumbles something into the counter. “Uh…” They laugh. “Okay, I’m guessing you’re not okay. Um…”

Mahiru keeps her head on the counter as she hears her coworker’s footsteps slowly disappear.

Mahiru sighs. She’s really tired… She wasn’t able to get any sleep last night. She doesn’t even know why. She just couldn’t sleep. A lady like her should be getting her beauty sleep!

Oh, well… She’ll just have to brave the storm!

Mahiru quickly lifts her head up and instantly gets hit with a fit of dizziness.

Ah, that was a bad idea…

As Mahiru quickly blinks away the dizziness, she notices her boss and coworker walking over.

“I wasn’t doing anything–! I mean, I was doing something, I promise!” Mahiru awkwardly laughs as she waves her hands around defensively. Her boss shakes her head. “Mahiru, you can head home. We don’t expect that many people today, and you seem tired. I can cover whatever is left of your shift.” “Ah, but–” “I’ll pay you for your full shift, alright? Just head home.” “Okay.” Mahiru hesitantly nods and takes off her apron as she heads to the break room to grab her stuff.

When Mahiru returns with her belongings, her coworker hands her a small bouquet with lilyturf, dahlias, forget-me-nots, and red lilies.

“I know you’ve enjoyed taking these kinds of flowers home recently, so here you are!” As Mahiru opens her mouth to speak, her coworker continues, “And, don’t worry about the charge. I already paid for it.” Mahiru blinks, taking the bouquet and looking at it. “Ah… Oh. Thank you.” Mahiru smiles at the flowers.

“Of course! Now, rest well!”

Mahiru smiles at her coworker before leaving the store, the shopkeeper’s bell ringing behind her.

Mahiru hums as she enters her apartment and quickly walks over to her table near the couch, grabbing water from the kitchen. She places her bag on the floor next to the couch.

Sitting on the couch, she pours some water into a glass vase. Then, she places her bouquet in the vase.

Mahiru looks at the bouquet for a few moments, admiring each flower.

When she yawns, she finally lowers her head on a pillow and slowly…

Closes…

Her eyes…

There’s a smell of food cooking in the air. She feels warm.

Mahiru slowly blinks the sleepiness from her eyes and looks around.

…why is there a blanket on her…? Is someone cooking?

Confused, she pushes herself upright and glances at the kitchen.

Mikoto.

Mikoto is cooking.

“Huh…?” Mahiru blurts out, sleepy and confused. Mikoto looks over at Mahiru. “Oh, hey! You’re awake! Sorry, I tried calling you, but you were asleep. Um, so I let myself in with the spare key!”

Mahiru glances at her bag on the floor and quickly picks it up. Opening it, she searches for her phone. When she finally finds it, she turns it on and sees the notifications flood her lock screen.

3 Missed Calls

10 New Messages:

hey, mappi ^^!!

i’m off from work so i’m coming to visit!

Ah wait you might be at work

Go back to work!!

i think your door is locked??

hello?

mappi??

i’m letting myself in, ok?

oh dear where’s your key

found it!! Coming in now :D

Mahiru rambles as she stares at the notifications, “Ah– I didn’t realize you were calling. I’m so sorry, please forgive me–”

“Hey, hey. It’s all good!” Mikoto smiles. “You were tired, so I let you sleep. I grabbed a blanket from your closet. Hope that’s okay!”

Mahiru nods and sits there for a moment, not sure what to do.

She glances over at the table, spotting the bouquet. She looks at Mikoto, who has a smile on his face as he tries to cook some soup.

She knows why she likes getting these flowers.

They remind her of Mikoto.

They remind her of how much she loves him.

She loves him.

“Hey, let me help you, okay~?” Mahiru sings as she hops up and skips over to the kitchen. “No, I’m okay. I can cook, see?” Mahiru looks at the small pot Mikoto is using to cook soup.

It’s… hm… not the best soup…?

“Just let me help you, alright?” “Alright, alright.” Mikoto, stepping back, raises his hands. “Show me what you want to do.”

Mahiru quickly slides in front of Mikoto and glances at the pot. "Can you wrap your arms around me?"

"Eh–?" Mikoto coughs in shock. "Yeah, yeah– Um…"

Mikoto quickly wraps her arms around Mahiru and looks over her shoulder as he tries to stir.

“Mhm~” Mahiru hums. “You’re stirring a little too harshly. Relax, okay?” “Alright.” Mikoto slowly stirs the soup. “Still too tense. Okay, hold on.” Mahiru places her hands on his. “Okay, now… We’ll do this together, okay?”

Mikoto is quiet. Mahiru takes that as his yes.

Mahiru, with Mikoto’s hands in hers, slowly stirs the soup. She murmurs some small compliments.

Mahiru lets go of his hands and smiles. “See, you’re doing it now!” Mikoto breathes a sigh of relief. “Is it better? Honestly, I really couldn’t tell the difference.” “Hmm… Well, I guess there really isn’t.” Mahiru shrugs. “But, I think the amount of quiet, slow care you put into something will show itself." She's made herself learn that love can be soft and strong. Ever since her last boyfriend and she broke up on... amicable terms, she's tried being better. For love, and for who she loves. “I see.” “...I know it really doesn’t make sense. I’m sorry.” Mahiru shakes her head and slides out from in front of Mikoto.

“No, no. It makes sense, I promise.” Mikoto looks over at Mahiru with a smile. “It shows that you care.”

Mahiru smiles back.

After a few moments with Mahiru helping Mikoto cook, they finally eat together at the table.

“Mappi?” Mikoto fidgets with his spoon. “Hmm?” Mahiru hums, food in her mouth. “Thank you.”

Mahiru blinks and just nods. “Y-yeah, of course…!”

Ah– That was so embarrassing…! Not at all lady-like! I should’ve just…!!

“I really don’t cook often, so that was really helpful. Haha…” Mikoto rubs his neck with a smile. “I mean, I do cook! It’s just… noodles and stuff.” “Well, now you know how to cook one more thing!” Mahiru smiles.

“Yeah.” Mikoto looks at Mahiru with a loving smile on his face.

His smile is so sweet. He even tries to do stuff he’s never done before for me! Ack… My heart can’t take it–!!

I love you.

Mikoto stares at Mahiru before laughing.

“E-eh?? What did I do??” “Nothing, nothing. I love you, too.” Mikoto grins.

…she said that out loud…

Mahiru is instantly embarrassed. She feels warm again, but she’s not wearing a blanket. “Oh… Ah–” “Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s sort of cute, I think…?” Mikoto rubs his neck. “Ah– If you say so…!!”

The two of them continue eating when Mikoto suddenly speaks up again. “Hey, did you mean to make you help me feel like one of those scenes from a movie…?” “E-eh?? No, no, wait– Ah. I really didn’t, I swear!!” Mahiru frantically shakes her head. Mikoto blinks, seeming to realize Mahiru is a little panicked. “Hey, no! I thought it was sweet–!”

Mahiru awkwardly laughs. “I’m glad you do… Um… Maybe I was subconsciously inspired by something…?”

“That’s okay.” Mikoto shrugs. “Everything you do is sweet.”

Mahiru beams.

“If it’s for you, I’ll make sure it’s worth everything.”

#mug writes #mug draws #milgram #milgram project #mikoto kayano #kayano mikoto #mahiru shiina #shiina mahiru #milgram fanfic #milgramvalentine's2024 #milgram valentine's exchange #we're going to have some afterward notes so let's see uhh #the notes are more detailed on ao3 so you can also check int out there lol #i wanted to have small references to what their crimes were #so you can see John pop in for a moment because he believed Mikoto was about to get attacked but once John realized it was Mahiru he relaxe #I wanted Mahiru and her boyfriend to break up amicably because their relationship is really crucial to Mahiru's character #I think actually beans' break-up fic they wrote was REALLY good and was what I was thinking about when I wrote that #I wanna say that Mahiru and Mikoto are both trying to get better at the things they messed up at #They should go to therapy actually /j #I wrote this before Mikoto's interrogation came out so that marriage question came flying back at me #he probably hasn't accumulated a “track record” yet to make his own business but i'd say mahiru might get him to quit early and go work #elsewhere because of how much his job is putting him through #Mahiru checking Mikoto's hair was supposed to be Mahiru carrying Mikoto to the couch but I didn't know how to write it without making it #awkward so I'm sorry wome #Looking back on it I think I realized that the lines that end both sides of the fic kinda...#go straight back to MILGRAM but trying to be better?#Everything's perfect - Mikoto said his life was fine; that he had done nothing wrong (An unconscious lie)#Here you have Mikoto actually believing he's doing okay; that he's fine and everything is okay #And while work is a hassle at least there's some aspect of his life that he connects to #If it's for you I'll make sure it's worth everything. - Mahiru wants to love perfectly she wants to love because it's the reason she elives

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phantomarine · 7 months

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Phantomarine is updated! Ch 6 p 50

Penny for your thoughts, Silas?

#phantomarine #webcomic #webcomics #webcomic upate #this guy has turned into another embarrassing mess of a character #and i'm here for it #my boyfriend wanted me to tag this with 'milf poisoned'#and I hate that he's correct

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hand-of-devotion · 7 months

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I've come around on Callowmoore and in doing so realized my main problem with them originally was part of the fandoms insistence on chalking them up to being "a sexy provocative woman being sexy next to a sexy gruff man". Where as I can only enjoy them through the lens of their autistic arospec t4t weirdness.

#callowmoore #critical role #i've discarded fanon and embraced their canonical cringefail silly bitchy shenanigans #its about the doubling down on one anothers insane ramblings #its about the 'if you want something you can just ask' 'i want to not have to ask >:|'#its about the shared unwavering appreciation of broken disgusting scary things as their favorite little guys #and this isnt canon but the idea of fearne giggling and twirling her hair at the idea of calling themselves each others partners #*fearne voice* this week its MY turn to be the boyfriend #sorry. my thoughts and feelings on genderfuckery callowmoore are powerful.#hcing that fearnes experience with gender was that no one ever assumed she was a woman bc fey just have different experiences with those-#sorts of labels. but she still very much resonates with terras concept of womanhood to a degree where she’s like #‘hell yeah I’m a pretty lady <3’ but also still has fun messing around with that in less ‘conventional’ ways #I also hc Ashton being kinda meh on gender as well. his feelings are neutral and unbothered around cis people #but they also very much see + resonate with the way other genderqueer people fuck with identity and presentation like #it’s a performance art that he’s only half invested in engaging with. for fun and competitively.

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dark-elf-writes · 8 months

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Any Naruto, Harry Potter, mha, or ff7 au idea knocking around that you want to share?

Have I been suspiciously quiet?

I mean yes, but am I causing concern?

Cloud that makes it to Midgar but ends up a bit… lost on the way and finds himself under the plate with barely any gil, a shit sword, and a gaggle of orphans following at his heels no matter how many times he tells them to go home.

It wasn’t like it had happened on purpose, he had been walking through sector five trying to scrounge up any work at all to buy a ticket up to the plate so he could finally apply for SOLDIER, when he heard the faintest sound of children screaming from down a tight alley that had he been any bigger he wouldn’t have been able to fit through.

He arrives in time to save the kids from a monster that broke in their hideout, breaking his first sword and grabbing a second from the towering piles of shit that were everywhere down here. The kids latch onto him immediately, all wide eyes and eager hands tugging him back to the Leaf House where they eagerly tell Ms. Folia all about their new hero.

She doesn’t look to convinced (he is little more than skin and bone if he’s being entirely honest, but Midgar was so expensive and it wasn’t like he could hunt here like he did back home) but she offers him one of the spare rooms for staff and a warm meal as thanks. She is convinced a few days later when she runs into him in the bustle of Wall Market taking out a pushy customer outside the Honeybee Inn before security could get to him.

He becomes something of a guard for Leaf House, often extending his services further to escort Aerith and Folia and even a few other sector five Honeybees. Their little guardian who starts to come into his strength as time passes.

It’s only a matter of time before the Turks following Aerith set their sights on him. He’s hard to miss walking at Aerith to the church, showing the kids how to defend themselves, going toe to toe with men twice his size on his escort trips, but what really deals the deal is when he notices them back.

No one saw a Turk that didnt want to be seen. Just like no one took on the Don’s men without fear. Just like no one looked after the lost and forgotten kids under the plate.

Now the Turks aren’t only trying to get Aerith to Shinra but Cloud as well.

Cloud isn’t entirely sure how he found himself as a potential Turk recruit with enough siblings (younger and older if the dancers and Aerith were to be believed) but he is sure that even if he were to write home about him no one would ever believe him.

#the elf talks #ff7 #cloud with many little siblings messing with Turks is jsut *chefs kiss*#he honestly just wanted enough money for a better sword and maybe a new shirt #he gets an infinite number of siblings and maybe a Turk boyfriend instead #leaf house cloud au

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shimmerluna · 2 months

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it’s really shitty that his parents get so upset when Charlie’s literally just trying to be a good boyfriend :/

#shimmer's thoughts #heartstopper #charlie spring #jane spring #i'm not going to bring julio into this #’i wanted to comfort my boyfriend with his shitty home/school situation’ 'yeah? go fuck yourself!'#like girl. relax #he's not even going just to mess around. it's literally because he wants to be there for him #yeah he broke your rules but in the nicest way possible. at least hear him out maybe?#i feel like they don't see how sweet and good-hearted Charlie is. and how hard he's trying #because they don't care to pay attention. and it doesn't feel fair to Charlie #maybe i'm just traumatized but at the same time i think adults forget to treat children like people sometimes. so.

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quailclaws · 11 months

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“i’ll make a quick doodle” spends hours doodling a sick baby.

#Nageki Fujishiro #hatoful boyfriend #hatoful kareshi #hatokare #i had a dream of him recently and he just looked like that i think-- i wanted to mess w sum colors ig bHJFBHJVF SHINY LOOKIN NAGEKI IG #doodles #doveart

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mo-ok · 13 days

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TokuxSpring Day Three

🌊 a character with elemental powers 🌊

#tokuspring #gingaman #gouki and his girlfriend and boyfriend #(he cant see whos calling out to him because of the haybale)#(but rest assured the second he sees its suzuko and shunsuke he will be a puddle on the floor)#gouki my precious sopping wet cry baby of a man #i love him with my whole heart #outside of hyuuga gouki is my favourite gingaman #when you have water powers but instead of being useful you are crying 100% of the time #i could mess around with this forever but it is in fact as finished as my heart wants it to be so <3 <3 <3 #pointy ear gingaman headcannon i cannot and will not be stopped #2024 art tag

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fernisfat · 2 months

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i can sense an argument brewing with my best friend and i hate it 😩

#he doesn’t seem to understand why i don’t want to stay with him and his boyfriend at their apartment and it’s like…#bud he literally openly talks shit about sex workers and he doesn’t let you have fun #i’m trying so hard to be supportive bc i know that it’s an unhealthy relationship and my friend needs me to be there for him #but i’m gonna have to very firmly set this boundary and he’s going to be upset #bc now unless i book a hotel i can’t really come visit and i don’t have hotel money until like next month #ugh it’s just a mess #fern whispers

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innytoes · 9 months

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3 Sentence prompts: Willexie + Thrift Shopping!

Just because they were kind of famous now, didn't mean Reggie wanted to give up on his favourite hobby. Listen, he'd gotten his most iconic outfit from the thrift store. Okay, it had been pretty much his only outfit for a while. But it had clearly worked, because Sunset Curve was topping the charts now and everyone thought he was really cool.

Another bonus to having one iconic outfit was he could just ditch the leather jacket and flannel for the day and be basically incognito. Not that a lot of old people at estate sales knew who he was, but he'd been recognised at a bunch of garage sales and it just felt wrong to try and haggle with someone who really just wanted his autograph.

"Tell me again why you dragged me out of bed at five in the morning to drive down to Pasadena to look at... old junk?" Alex whined, sipping on the giant coffee Reggie had gotten him along the way. He was dressed in one of Reggie's flannels, which honestly was kind of a little treat in and of itself. Reggie himself had stolen one of Bobby's shirts and Alex' denim jacket.

"Because it's fun?" Reggie asked. Alex did not look convinced. "Because we can get cool stuff for the house?" he tried again.

"We can get cool stuff for the house at literally every store we want now," Alex pointed out. Which was true, they had Money now. Of course their co-dependent asses still went and bought a house together like they always said they would. It was just... slightly closer to a mansion than the shitty apartments they'd been thinking of when they were seventeen and broke. "Luke and Bobby spent a couple of grand on a new sound system."

"It's not about the money," Reggie pouted. "It's about the thrill of the chase. It's about treasure hunting! It's about finding unique pieces nobody else has!"

Alex stared at him, unamused, obnoxiously slurping his coffee.

"Fine, you're here because you love me and because I need your big sexy muscles to help lift stuff into the truck if we find anything." He was hoping to find a cool coffee table, or a desk, and they could still use a nice dresser.

"Fine," Alex said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "But if I find something cute, you're doing the haggling for me."

"Deal."

The morning went pretty well. They found some cool lamps, and a couple of nice hardcover science fiction books Reggie thought would look very mature and adult on their shelf. Reggie managed to haggle down on a really mature looking desk that would look great in their 'We're Real Adults Now' house, and Alex did use his sexy muscles to help get it onto the truck.

After a quick early lunch in town, they went to the next estate sale. They agreed to split up, since it was later in the day and they needed to be fast before all the good stuff was snapped up.

Except when Reggie rounded the corner, he saw Alex wasn't looking for a nice dresser or pretty trinkets. Alex was talking to a very hot, very cool guy in a crop top.

Reggie narrowed his eyes, going over. Alex beamed. "Hey babe!"

"Why are you flirting with the enemy?" Reggie hissed.

Alex groaned. "Not this again."

"Hey, Reggie," Willie beamed. "Great job on nabbing that desk at the Gilmore estate, I had my eye on that too. But you got here a little late. Do you want to see the heirloom patchwork blanket I scored? And I found this really cool dresser I'm going to paint..."

Reggie squinted at their rival, annoyed. He wanted a cool dresser. And the patchwork blanket folded over his arm looked really nice.

"I'm sure it will look really cool," he said, trying to keep the sulk out of his voice. He gave Alex another glare.

Alex just stared at him. "Maybe I was distracting Willie so you could be the first to notice those vintage comic books in the corner," he said, and Reggie gasped, running off and rifling through the box before Willie could get there.

"Aw man, low blow, Hotdog!" Willie complained.

"Yeah, I'm evil like that," Alex deadpanned, rolling his eyes at the two of them.

In the end, Reggie came away with some Spiderman and Hawkeye comics that were still missing from his collection, and a cute little side table they could paint a pretty pink for Alex. As they were finishing up and loading everything in the truck at the end of the day, Willie moseyed back over.

"Howdy," he said, tipping a cowboy hat Reggie had completely missed. He felt a stab of jealousy, not just for missing it but also because Willie looked unfairly hot like that. Then, Willie plopped the hat on Reggie's head. "We still on for dinner?"

"The burger place?" Reggie asked, leaning over to press a kiss to Willie's cheek.

Alex popped out of the truck. "Oh so now it's okay to flirt?" he asked, grumpy.

"Of course it is, Alex, it's four thirty," Reggie said, propping the cowboy hat on Alex' head. He did not look as sexy as Willie had, but he did look kind of cute. They should go on a horseback riding date, all three of them, sometime soon. He'd bring it up over dinner.

"Yeah, Hotdog, we're only mortal thrifting enemies between six and four," Willie agreed.

"You two are so weird," Alex complained, but he still climbed down to sit in the bed of the truck to receive kisses from both his boyfriends. And over dinner, he smiled indulgently as his two thrift-nerdy boyfriends compared notes and showed off pictures of the treasures they'd found.

#julie and the phantoms #reggiexalexxwillie #fanfic #I wrote a thing #AUs are awesome #willie is a reseller who also like fixes stuff up and refurbishes it #he probably has like a blog or something as well #reggie just really likes thrifting #alex is there to look pretty and keep Reggie from bringing home any taxidermy (so Bobby won't disown them)#and use his big sexy drummer muscles to help lift stuff #and to roll his eyes at both his boyfriends and their silly rivalry #lbr the sunset curve house is a mess between Luke refusing to give up his ancient couch #reggie's thrifting and Bobby's 'I'm going to buy designer furniture because I'm rich now fuck you'#meanwhile Alex just wants somewhere to sit that is comfortable and doesn't have bedbugs #poor guy probably went to like Ikea in self-defence

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quietwingsinthesky · 3 months

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OH RIGHT. rose. i was thinking about this because jack might be the one person who can actually put into words what was going on between the doctor & rose because he was there, he was in the middle of it. not that the information comes out easily, but he’s less avoidant of saying the words ‘he loved her’ than the doctor is. which. i just think it would be kind of sweet and sad for even to also for the first time actually connect the word to the feeling. that’s love. that’s what that is.

#it’s not that they didn’t. you know. love anyone before. objectively they did.#they just didn’t really connect that that. ‘love’. that’s what that was that made them act that way. that made them feel that way.#that made it hurt so much when they lost someone they were trying to keep with them.#and to understand now that that’s what was between the doctor and rose as well. and the beginning of understanding that. rose Is something #to them as well. (<- not information they know how to handle or what to do with.)#but what im actually saying here is. that because jack is the one who gives them that. because jack is so much built from love and memory.#man who references his ex-boyfriends constantly and fondly. who loves knowing he’ll lose the person he’s choosing now like everyone before.#does it anyway.#what im saying here is that when jack leaves. for whatever amount of time he’s joined up on the tardis taking a break from torchwood i guess #dealing with him and the doctor’s. Thing. as best they can (not very well)#what im saying is that when jack leaves. even pushes themselves into a hug with him and burrows close because they dont want him to leave.#of course they dont. they have like. three friends. and he’s one of them. and he’s leaving.#but this is important and he won’t stay. so they hug him. and they whisper. very very seriously. but softly. like they’re scared someone #will hear or they’ll mess up. they tell him that they love him. and that’s how they say goodbye.#dw oc

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theloveinc · 1 year

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I love ex boyfriend bakugo so much you don't even know

actually i do know because i feel the SAME. my love for ex bakugo is unyielding. endless. forever. and i actually wrote a bunch for him a couple months ago when another anon brought it up but... got scared they'd hate what i had down so i....... put it on the shelf. i'll have to find it maybe... if ppl want.

ANYWAY... like. there is truly just no way to go wrong with him. there is just no universe where he isn't either a depressed, miserable, longing ex or an kind, gentle and regretful one (or some variation of). even when he's angry, it's mostly just at himself for being a douche who managed to lose you, and HOW CAN U NOT LOVE THAT??

it's so ironic bc he's such a prickly pear but... he just loves the hardest out of any + everyone. not that i don't imagine the others and just as caring... but for bakugo, it's almost a religious experience, you know? never a phase or an era or something he just does but a... idek. life commitment? goal? achievement? something to be maintained and treasured? all of the above. EVEN IF he's not that good at it (at first... which is debatable anyway), that's still how he feels.

so when u break up... that can't be the end of things. like really i can only imagine it happening circumstantially, cuz i genuinely think that any issues you bring up with him (aside from work maybe), he'd take BEYOND seriously.

too gruff and private? suddenly he's telling u every single emotion he has and asking if he's being too rough. too anal and uptight? suddenly the kitchen is a mess and he hasn't even noticed. hell, even too busy? he'll do his best to fit a whole evening with u in his schedule (he hates mornings more than anything but takes the ass crack of dawn shift just so u can have dinner together most night)... it's like !!!!!!! + reminds me of that post i made talking about how pro heroes are so hard to breakup with bc even when ur pointing out their flaws, they're so used to constructive criticism, they don't even notice ur being insulting LMFAO😭

that aside tho, i can never imagine a bakugo breakup!au without them... you both back together at some point. even if it's ten or fifteen years later like... he spent all that time trying to get better for u... even if he didn't think you'd really come back. (or, as i was trying to write, you breakup with him and he just... doesn't fucking believe u LMFAOOOOO and shoves his booty back into his rightful place sadjkfhakjdsf)

(and bc i have i-can-fix-him disease, i also like bakugo who went thru a traumatic breakup w/ someone who wasn't u... and then five/ten/fifteen years later, you're the one to teach him to love again. or maybe that's not that unique of me LOL).

#bakugo #anyway #this is a mess im sorry but WAHHHHHHHH ADJKFLHADSHFB. I LOVE U BAKUGO IM UR BIGGEST FAN I NEED U #whenever i read breakup angst i'm like #he broke up WITH U. we get back together <3 #and god like. reunification / older dating aus #like i sometimes i dont even imagine the dating i just imagine me telling him all his exes are sh*t (not you but imaginary ppl)#and him being like <3 #LOL I'M TOXIC #and also the other ex thing i wrote i didnt like bc it ended up being more story than thought #but it was basically abt like... u know. u break up with him over slight miscommunication #and he doesn't even realize??? he's just like ok were taking a break for a couple days lol.#and then ur like no bakugo we broke up lmfao #and he's like. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh absolutely not and calls u every day talking like ur boyfriend until u. realize #he's serious abt changing #ANYWAYYYYYY SORRY FOR THIS IF ITS NOT WHAT U WANTED BYE #caitie things #gen #anon

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thranduel · 2 years

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el deserves better + why people can’t take mike’s monologue seriously

*these are my own personal opinions and observations! if you liked this scene how it was, that's fine! no one's forcing you to look at this lol. i'm not trying to "ruin" this scene for anyone or invalidate people’s feelings. it’s a fictional show. the writers like when people analyse and look into it and that’s what i’m doing. these are just my own opinions about it as someone who has watched the show since the beginning, pays attention and truly cares about the characters, and i think they could've done this scene a lot better if they wanted it to seem genuine.

i also just want to make it clear that i would’ve had no problem with mike and el’s relationship if it was well-written, slowly developed properly instead of rushed, they actually understood each other and could be themselves with each other AND if will wasn’t involved in this love triangle and had his heart broken in the process because that’s probably one of the most cruel, horrible and unnecessary things i’ve ever seen in a show. there was absolutely no reason to involve an abused and traumatised gay child in this mess if he was just going to end up hurt again after everything he’s suffered and people have EVERY right to be uncomfortable and upset about that, but anyways!

“love at first sight”

the love at first sight trope coming out of nowhere seemed really out of character for mike since he's made it clear several times he doesn't believe in that and we also know he didn't fall in love with el the moment he met her when he was only 12 years old and struggling with the trauma of his best friend going missing. i'm not sure why they felt the need to include that when will was sitting right there listening and they could've done literally anything else to show he loved her. he shouldn't have to lie and make things up that don’t make sense (seriously, what happened to “friends don’t lie”)? and sure, the cast can say whatever they want about a 12 year old falling in love with a stranger the moment he looked at her even though he knew absolutely nothing about her and his best friend was suffering in an alternate dimension, but it still makes no sense from a writing standpoint and you can literally see that in mike’s words and actions after they take her to his house. the whole thing has always been weird lol. i don’t know why people romanticise the love at first sight trope with two children anyways and act like it makes their relationship better when it only made it worse because of how rushed it was.

using will

this needs to be mentioned considering will is the reason this monologue happened in the first place (so don’t even start with the “stop making everything about will” when THE WRITERS THEMSELVES literally put him in every mike and el scene except their fight scene!!!!!!!) but i absolutely hated how they used will's feelings for mike in order to make him say he loves his own girlfriend. like… what. using a gay character who has suffered since the very beginning as a plot device to force another ship back together while he continues to suffer and be heartbroken isn't cool at all. you can come up with any excuse, but NOTHING makes it okay that they included will in this mess and turned him into a couple’s therapist that fixes their problems when they can’t even do that themselves. if they wanted all this drama with mike and el and STILL have them stay together for some reason, fine. but will should’ve NEVER been involved. there’s no excuse. i don’t understand how anyone is okay with that. he literally had to push him into saying the monologue even when el was choking because mike wouldn’t have said it otherwise. he also took inspiration from what will said in the van about his OWN feelings for him and basically re-worded it. it’s just crazy.

“mike was just trying to save her”

i get that!!!!! he was panicking and under stress. it’s actually a realistic way to respond in that situation and anyone would make up whatever they think the person wants to hear to save them. he was trying his best to help her and i really do appreciate him for that because she really needed strength and motivation. BUT the point is, it still wasn’t entirely genuine and it’s so weird that people watch it and talk about it like it’s a proper romantic love confession and their relationship is oh so perfect when he always lies and contradicts himself which just feels hurtful and unnecessary. he could've told her he loved her WITHOUT making things up. in fact, he should’ve told her he loved her BEFORE she got her powers back, before he was pushed into it by will and before she was in danger and he was under pressure. that would’ve made it seem so much more genuine.

flashbacks

i’m just gonna link this incredible analysis post from @aurorabyler here about flashbacks because they explained it so perfectly. please check it out!!!!

anyways mike could’ve spoken about happy memories instead of making up lies she knows aren’t true. when he said “it’s not because i’m scared of you. i’ve never felt that way”, it just sounded ridiculous because she knows he’s been scared of her. it literally happened a few episodes ago at the roller rink. even in season 1, mike yelled at her and triggered traumatic memories that reminded her of brenner (the flashbacks happen right after to show the parallels) and it happened again in season 4. she also said “you think i’m a monster too” when they were arguing because she knows that mike has been scared of her. and at the roller rink when she was sitting at the table shaking and crying, he just stared at her along with the crowd and he didn’t sit with her or take her away from the triggering environment. he just stared and did nothing. in the car he was silent and then at the dinner table he made a sarcastic comment which made her feel worse and get up and leave. then he sips his drink which is a parallel to ted and karen. obviously mike has every right to be shocked and afraid sometimes, but el was also really struggling and he did nothing to help. even when she confronted him about everything, he just sat there, got defensive, denied everything and called her ridiculous. “he’s just a teenager” just doesn’t work as an excuse because we’ve seen that mike can be mature, apologise and take responsibility for what he’s done wrong with other people, so why didn’t he do that during their fight scene? why was he sitting there with no emotion on his face and making her feel worse as she was literally breaking down in front of him? why did he have to be pressured and motivated by his best friend to say he loves his own girlfriend? “he just needed some advice”, “he’s just insecure”, “his parents couldn’t say ily”. these are all ridiculous excuses that make no sense. it also doesn’t explain why will was involved in this mess in the first place. how is it okay for a gay child to just be shoved to the side and heartbroken and then force the boy he loves into telling his girlfriend he loves her? how are people seriously okay with that?

more lies and idolisation

during the monologue, mike also could’ve mentioned el's friends and family which mean the world to her instead of just making it about himself and why he needs “his superhero”. he could’ve mentioned who she is as a person instead of just her powers, but the truth is, he barely knows who she is as a person because they can’t be themselves around each other and they don’t even share any similar interests. that's why it confuses me when people actually take what he's saying seriously and think he's being genuine and "romantic" when he isn't. "oh, but mike said he fell in love the moment he met her, he’s so in love”. uh, of course he's going to say that when he's under pressure and she's in danger, but that doesn't mean it's true. we know that he was going through one of the most traumatic times in his life when will went missing and he wasn’t focusing on falling in love… he was literally only 12 years old and he knew el for 6 days before she disappeared. they were strangers. he also only let her stay when she said the bad guys were after her and when he found out she had powers and could help find will, not because he “fell in love”. he was literally planning to send her away so they could focus on finding will. so many people forget about this but it’s just crazy to think about. even when they reunite at the end of season 2, they had only spent less than a week with each other as children. mike called her every day with no response but that’s only because he wanted to know if she was out there because she was his friend and of course he cares about her. but they still barely knew each other and he didn’t get to know her more while he was making those calls because she couldn’t even respond. there was no proper build up, no honest communication and no getting to know each other properly before getting into a relationship.

rushed romance

people talk about how they fell in love immediately when they barely even knew each other and el just escaped a lab she was raised in and didn’t know what romance was. she couldn’t even communicate at the same level as mike and everything happened so quickly for her (and no, this is NOT saying that she's not capable of having a boyfriend now. of course she is. she's incredible and she's capable of so much. but when she got out of the lab, she was just a child and she wasn't taught anything about romance or relationships, so it would've been so confusing for her and she needed more time to discover herself and her own interests and then figure out who she likes, if she even wanted a relationship at all). in season 3, she asked max how she knows what she likes because no one has ever taught her or allowed her to figure things out on her own and decide what she likes for herself. max was the first person to do that and it was a really important moment for el. she was also the happiest she had ever been in that scene when they were shopping and i’ve never seen her smile and laugh so much. it was really beautiful to see.

anyways, i know she's not being forced to stay in her relationship with mike but i feel like both of them heavily depend on each other due to their emotional attachment since they found each other during a traumatic time and saved each other when they were vulnerable and needed help. mike was the first person to take care of el outside the lab and helped her hide from the bad guys so she wouldn’t have to go back, and el saved mike's life when he jumped off the cliff and then she broke his bully's arm. mike and el feel like they owe each other something and they're extremely dependent on each other because they saved each other, but i don't understand why they had to start dating because of that? it's like they feel like they can't be anything outside of a couple which isn't healthy considering the show has proven over and over again that they're not working as a couple. i don't know why people think this is a bad thing either or an "insult" to their relationship. it's not at all. no one is saying they don't love each other, because of course they do. they just don't work together romantically for many reasons, but they would still love each other even if they're just friends. in fact, i think their relationship would be even stronger if they were just friends.

they don’t feel like equals (and literally admitted this in the show)

one of the biggest issues with their relationship is that both mike and el can’t be themselves with each other and they always lie, so it doesn’t help that he lied during his monologue too. it’s really sad. you shouldn’t feel like you need to lie or change who you are when you’re in a relationship. and i just feel like there were so many other ways they could’ve done this. like, if they wanted mike and el together, that’s fine. but why couldn’t their relationship be more genuine and why couldn’t they be themselves around each other? el didn’t even need a boyfriend or first kiss in season 1, she just needed a friend to help her and be by her side. mike is the one that decided what their relationship would be because he had a little crush on her, but el didn’t get a say at all. i understand it was supposed to be "cute and wholesome" and mike didn’t have any bad intentions when he kissed her, but it’s just really strange when you actually think about how they barely knew each other and el didn’t know what a kiss was.

the characters deserve better

i also just feel like this scene hurts all 3 characters involved (el, mike and will, because yes, will was involved in a way considering he's been in love with mike since the beginning and he’s the reason mike said his monologue in the first place) and it feels insulting to them. the writers also placed will in EVERY mike and el scene except their fight, so people can’t get mad when people “make it all about will”. blame the writers then. people are obviously going to talk about the abused and traumatised gay child that’s suffering and getting his heart broken.

el: she deserves to be loved for who she is as a person, as jane, not just “superhero eleven”. her boyfriend should’ve shown her love in his letters and he should’ve comforted her and explained himself (or just simply said “i love you”) when she was crying in her room begging to hear the words. his excuse for not being able to say it was “i’m scared she won’t need me anymore”, but she clearly needed him in that moment. he knew what she wanted to hear. he also said he feels inferior because he’s just a nerd and she’s a superhero. but she didn’t even have powers in that scene where she was crying. she was just a regular person like him, so why couldn’t he say it? in the next episode, he also admits that if he just said “that thing”, she might’ve taken him with her (he couldn't even specify what it was when he was talking to will). so he knew exactly what she wanted but he still didn’t say it. this entire plot was just added for drama and it feels so unnecessary. he couldn’t even tell her he loved her when she was sobbing in his room but he only could after his best friend convinced him with his painting, monologue and pushed him to when el was in danger. how is that fair? how do people think it’s genuine after all that? “because mike is just insecure and needed a push”???? because that doesn’t change the fact that he has lied to her and made her feel horrible before. it doesn’t change the fact that she was SOBBING in front of him and he was more worried about himself than her feelings. 3 simple words could’ve comforted her and he just couldn’t do it… until his conversation with will? it’s crazy to think about. that’s why all the excuses are just ridiculous. el deserves so much better than this. she deserves to find someone that loves her for who she is, that shares the same interests as her, that she can fully be herself around, and that doesn't care about her powers.

will: his feelings for mike shouldn’t have been used as a plot device to force mike and el back together when they can’t even sort out their own relationship problems. using a gay character’s feelings when he has been abused, targeted, bullied, lonely and suffering since the very beginning of the show is absolutely cruel and unnecessary. he hasn’t even had a moment of happiness and he thinks he’ll never experience love because of his sexuality. it's even more heartbreaking knowing he has loved mike since the beginning but he thinks mike will never love him back and he has to watch him with someone else while he gets pushed to the side. speaking of being pushed to the side, the way mike treated will in season 3 and 4 (especially how he couldn't hug him at the airport) makes absolutely no sense unless he has repressed feelings for will and internalised homophobia because otherwise, mike is just an asshole and there was no need for any of that. his relationship with el never should've affected his relationship with will, especially because will has been his best friend since they were 4 years old and they have the closest relationship in the entire show. also, will's painting for mike was supposed to be a special moment between them only. his love confession was also the most beautiful and genuine thing and it made mike so happy, but he used el’s name to disguise it and it was so painful and heartbreaking to watch. will is also the only reason mike said his monologue to el because he was so inspired by the painting and car monologue and thought it was all from el when it wasn't. it was all from will. even when el was in danger, will still had to push mike to say it. and yet, will is still lonely and heartbroken after being so kind and selfless to everyone around him? he still doesn't get to be happy after everything he's been through? it’s just not fair. they can’t keep doing this to him.

mike: he’s just simply been reduced to el’s boyfriend. we barely even know him anymore and he doesn’t get his own moments. his entire arc this season revolved around not being able to tell el he loved her. like are you actually kidding me? he did nothing this season except be part of el's storyline. he also changes so much when he’s around her. it’s so ridiculous and unfair and his friends have been hurt because of it too. he shouldn’t have to pretend to be someone he’s not in order to impress el. i also feel like so many people forget how much trauma mike has been through and we don’t even get to see any of it. we don’t get to see his POV or feelings or understand what’s going on inside his head. his entire character just revolves around el and it’s not fair. he also deserves to be with someone he feels comfortable with and can actually be himself around. mike has to hide his own interests and he feels embarrassed about himself when he’s with el and he shouldn’t feel like that in his own relationship. sure, some people might use the excuse “they’re just kids” (as always), but it doesn’t change the fact that this has been going on since their relationship started and they’ve never truly felt like equals. they’ve always been different and they always will be. mike deserves to be with someone that loves him for exactly who he is and that brings out the best in him. someone who makes him feel safe and comfortable for being nerdy and passionate. someone who can give him the love he wants and needs. it’s just sad (and unhealthy) to see him in a relationship where he changes so much and obsesses over his girlfriend and treats his friends like garbage to the point where he becomes the most disliked character in the show and the general audience can’t stand him. like if that doesn’t say a lot about how this relationship isn’t good for this character, i don’t know what does.

#also this isn't specifically byler but i love the people in the byler tag and we have good discussions so hi lol #anyways #if they wanted mike and el together fine but why not make their relationship genuine at least #why not make them actually be able to be themselves with each other instead of constantly lying to each other #and also #the fact he only said all this because of will's confession feels like a slap in the face too #and will had to sit there and listen to it as well #he would've been panicking for el AND also getting his heart broken at the same time #it would've been one of the most overwhelming and hardest moments #el doesn't deserve to only be told she's loved when she's in danger and when her boyfriend gets pushed into it by his best friend #and will doesn't deserve to have his feelings for mike used as a plot device to force another ship back together #and then he just suffers all alone again like he does every season????? absolutely not #the entire thing is a mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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