#(and the pain just keeps on coming)

[novelconcepts]

There’s a line from American Gods I keep coming back to in relation to Yellowjackets, an observation made early on by Shadow in prison: “The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment.” I keep rotating it in my head in thinking about the six survivors, the roles they occupy in the wilderness, and the way the show depicts them as adults in society.

Because in the wilderness, as in prison, they’re trapped—they’re suffering, they’re traumatized, they’re terrified—but they’re also able to construct very specific boxes to live in. And, in a way, that might make it easier. Cut away the fat, narrow the story down to its base arc. You are no longer the complex young woman who weighs a moral compass before acting. You no longer have the luxury of asking questions. You are a survivor. You have only to get to the next day.

Shauna: the scribe. Lottie: the prophet. Van: the acolyte. Taissa: the skeptic. Misty: the knight. Natalie: the queen. Neat, orderly, the bricks of a new kind of society. And it works in the woods; we know this because these six survive. (Add Travis: the hunter, while you’re at it, because he does make it to adulthood).

But then they’re rescued. And it’s not just lost purpose and PTSD they’re dealing with now, but a loss of that intrinsic identity each built in the woods. How do you go home again? How do you rejoin a so-called civilized world, where all the violence is restricted to a soccer field, to an argument, to your own nightmares?

How does the scribe, the one who wrote it all out in black and white to make sense of the horrors, cope with a world that would actively reject her story? She locks that story away. But she can’t stop turning it over in her head. She can’t forget the details. They’re waiting around every corner. In the husband beside her in bed. In the child she can’t connect with across the table. In the best friend whose parents draw her in, make her the object of their grief, the friend who lives on in every corner of their hometown. She can’t forget, so she tries so hard to write a different kind of story instead, to fool everyone into seeing the soft maternal mask and not the butcher beneath, and she winds up with blood on her hands just the same.

How does the prophet come back from the religion a desperate group made of her, a group that took her tortured visions, her slipping mental health, and built a hungry need around the very things whittling her down? She builds over the bones. She creates a place out of all that well-intended damage, and she tells herself she’s helping, she’s saving them, she has to save them, because the world is greedy and needs a leader, needs a martyr, needs someone to stand up tall and reassure everyone at the end of the day that they know what’s best. The world, any world, needs someone who will take those blows so the innocent don’t have to. She’s haunted by everyone she didn’t save, by the godhood assigned to her out of misplaced damage, and when the darkness comes knocking again, there is nothing else to do but repeat old rhymes until there is blood on her hands just the same.

How does the acolyte return to a world that cares nothing for the faith of the desperate, the faith that did nothing to save most of her friends, that indeed pushed her to destroy? She runs from it. She dives into things that are safe to believe in, things that rescue lonely girls from rough home lives, things that show a young queer kid there’s still sunshine out there somewhere. She delves into fiction, makes a home inside old stories to which she already knows the endings, coaxes herself away from the belief that damned her and into a cinemascope safety net where the real stuff never has to get in. She teaches herself surface-level interests, she avoids anything she might believe in too deeply, and still she’s dragged back to the place where blood winds up on her hands just the same.

How does the skeptic make peace with the things she knows happened, the things that she did even without meaning to, without realizing? She buries them. She leans hard into a refusal to believe those skeletons could ever crawl back out of the graves she stuffed them into, because belief is in some ways the opposite of control. She doesn’t talk to her wife. She doesn’t talk to anyone. It’s not about what’s underneath the surface, because that’s just a mess, so instead she actively discounts the girl she became in the woods. She makes something new, something rational and orderly, someone who can’t fail. She polishes the picture to a shine, and she stands up straight, the model achievement. She goes about her original plan like it was always going to be that way, and she winds up with blood on her hands just the same.

How does the knight exist in a world with no one to serve, no one to protect, no reason propelling the devastating choices she had grown comfortable making? She rechannels it. She convinces herself she’s the smartest person in the room, the most capable, the most observant. She convinces herself other people’s mysteries are hers to solve, that she is helping in every single action she takes. She makes a career out of assisting the most fragile, the most helpless souls she can find, and she makes a hobby out of patrolling for crimes to solve, and when a chance comes to strap her armor back on and ride into battle, she rejoices in the return to normalcy. She craves that station as someone needed, someone to rely upon in the darkest of hours, and she winds up with blood on her hands because, in a way, she never left the wilderness at all.

How does the queen keep going without a queendom, without a pack, without people to lead past the horrors of tomorrow? She doesn’t. She simply does not know how. She scrounges for something, anything, that will make her feel connected to the world the way that team did. She moves in and out of a world that rejects trauma, punishes the traumatized, heckles the grieving as a spectacle. She finds comfort in the cohesive ritual of rehabilitation, this place where she gets so close to finding herself again, only to stumble when she opens her eyes and sees she’s alone. All those months feeding and guiding and gripping fast to the fight of making it to another day, and she no longer knows how to rest. How to let go without falling. She no longer wears a crown, and she never wanted it in the first place, so how on earth does she survive a world that doesn’t understand the guilt and shame of being made the centerpiece of a specialized environment you can never explain to anyone else? How, how, how do you survive without winding up with blood on your hands just the same?

All six of these girls found, for better or worse, a place in the woods. All six of them found, for better or worse, a reason to get up the next day. For each other. And then they go home, and even if they all stayed close, stayed friends, it’d still be like stepping out of chains for the first time in years. Where do you go? How do you make small choices when every decision for months was life or death? How do you keep the part of yourself stitched so innately into your survival in a world that would scream to see it? How do you do away with the survivor and still keep going?

They brought it back with them. Of course they did. It was the only way.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #yj meta #long post #shauna shipman #lottie matthews #taissa turner #van palmer #misty quigley #natalie scatorccio #the question not being how do you survive the wilderness. the question being how do you come BACK. #the way each of them tries so hard to keep moving forward #unable to untangle the girl in the woods from the adult suffering in polite society #how the world doesn’t want to hear about the pain or the night terrors or the sleepwalking or the addiction #the world wants the bright colors and the flash-bang headlines #the world doesn’t want who they are. who they had to be. it wants pretty perfect tragedy #that specialized environment lives on in each one of them every day #but it’s not a place anyone else can ever go #how do you feed that for so long and then just…stop? #constantly thinking about nat saying we didn’t make it out. none of us. #because no. no they didn’t. the girls died the minute that rescue chance did. what came back was risen from those ashes

[dootznbootz]

Menelaus rambles a lot about not only Helen, but also Hermione. About how she used to say Olive like "Olifs". How she lost her first tooth running too fast and running into a low branch while out with Helen. How he'd sometimes wake up to Hermione leaning over him and poking his face to say, "Dad, can we go see the horses?" even though it was barely daylight. How she was much nicer waking Helen and how he thinks Hermione did that on purpose because she found "dad's face funny". How her favorite color was every color.

And Odysseus listens.

And he thinks about how his son only had a few teeth coming in when he left, teething on everything. How he could only say one syllable with his babbles. How his son needed balance to stand but Odysseus was so proud that Telemachus was very good at rolling over. How his son loved pulling at his and Penelope's hair.

How his son would be talking, walking, maybe even lost his first tooth by now. And he doesn't even know if he'll ever know his son's favorite color.

#Hi get sad with me :D #Odysseus and Menelaus are the Bros™ to me. I love them. Both simps who love their family despite being different in personalities #You cannot tell me they didn't talk about this and how this was painful for both of them :') #To make myself feel better. I like the thought of Athena kind of keeping him up to date :'D as he's her pet you know? #okay so this next bit ain't angst but imagine Hermione just coming in staring in the dark with the classic: #“Mom. Dad. I frew up🥺” #scaring the shit outta both her poor parents. Yeah I know she had nurses with her most likely but it's cute and fun!!! #I'm sorry but that's so fucking funny to me. I think every Parent has experienced that I'm pretty sure. #odysseus #menelaus #tagamemnon #greek mythology #this'll probably flop but oh well xD My homies can get sad with me >:) #odyssey #the odyssey #telemachus #hermione #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #helen of sparta #penelope #odypen

[atissi]

okay very preliminary thoughts on mitski's new album BUT i think there's something with how "laurel hell" felt like a goodbye to the music industry (can't find the source but i remember reading that it was intended to be her last album under her contract) like i'm sorry anthony fantano but if you interpret the back half of "laurel hell" as being generic breakup songs you're missing like 80% of the context. to me TO ME it feels so clearly about her negotiating her relationship with fame, how she can't love her fans the way they love her, and how she feels like she sold her soul to her job, so the only thing to do is step away. but THEN "the land is inhospitable and so are we" was created after mitski decided to renegotiate her contract, specifically because she loved making music enough to deal with the negative aspects of the work. and then all the songs are about the ghost of love she can leave behind, despite the present pain or emptiness, and like. do you see it. do you see it.

#THE NARRATIVE. #beepbeep.txt #mitski #like you can definitely interpret everything through the lens of personal romantic relationships BUT. i think its even better #envisioning that she is speaking to her actual audience. the love they have for her and the love she is trying to communicate to them #i mean especially “i don't like my mind” just feels like a response to “love me more” where she begs to keep her job #specifically so she doesn't have to be alone with all these thoughts. so she can be witnessed #but then i feel like “the deal” and “when memories snow” are responses to “working for the knife” and “everyone” where her job leaves her #feeling emptied out of all this pain and love simultaneously. hence the ghostliness of the whole album #and her coming to terms with this feeling of emptiness. or actually. the loneliness of having no witnesses at all. after the music. #being king of her own land. if one would like to use that turn of phrase #IS ANYONE ELSE GOING INSANE OR.

[candied-cae]

Real talk y’all?

They musta put something extra special in his water this season because - lord have mercy - he is GLOWING and I am ON MY KNEES. I keep coming back to this one just to look at him. Look at him, y'all. LOOK AT HIM!

HE'S SO FUCKING GORGEOUS I'M GOING TO DIE!

JUST ONE CHANCE- JUST ONE CHANCE IS ALL I ASK-

#Cae Has Lots of Feelings About Our Flag Means Death #The prettiest man in the world #I'm obsessed with him #As I should be #Look at the material #Zoom in on all the flaws he doesn't have #Take it all in #Because holy shit #It astounds me every damn time #He's simply the cutest patootie on the big blue sea #and I am weak for it #This cast is way too attractive for queer people #and they're starring in the queer show! #They got hot men and hot women and hot enbies and we're just supposed to survive? #No. They pulled us in with the good ass show and got us by surprise #I'm spending hours watching and rewatching this goddamn show full of pretty people I can't kiss and it's painful but so sweet I keep coming #Our Flag Means Death #OFMD #Oluwande #Oluwande Boodhari #Yes. he served last season too. But… damn it’s a different ball game this year <3

[bishicat]

12. Pushing strand of hair behind their ear

If you're still doing the art prompts 🥺

V's probably cutting his hair or tying it up (either way, he knows he's a pretty lad)

#thank you for the request :D!!! keep em coming! #i had to sit and think about how to draw this for a couple of days but eventually i decided to focus this piece on our boy :> #gorilla arms are so fun to draw omg #but reference images are such a pain to find #so far i've just been using the really low quality 192 x 192 image from the wiki lmaooo #art meme #keanu reeves #johnny silverhand #cyberpunk 2077 oc #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 v #cyberpunk 2077 fanart #cp77 #cp2077 #silverv #my art #digital art #bishiart

[romanticizingmurder]

Do you ever. Think about how Marius tells Mael he'll wear nice clothes even as the world ends.

But when he thinks Armand is dead (and after) he's dressed in torn and dusty clothes.

Because I think about it a Lot.

#marius de romanus #ive been trying to phrase a meta about marius turning Sybelle and Benji but it just keeps coming back to this #the rawness of his pain

[sidereon-spaceace]

torn between wanting to make all my ocs Specialest Little Guys and overpowered VS. the fact I just finished watching all three extended editions of Lord of the Rings and am deeply moved by the struggles and worth of the common man

#ramblings #the end of Return of the King gave me many OC Thoughts and now you're going to hear them #might veto the whole 'Funney Big Weapon Guy is also psychic' thing for Sid Sibyl #won't fully un-magic him just cuz i made it a common thing in the setting but like. i might still nerf him a little in that aspect #his whole schtick is that he is aggressively Just A Guy #he's very persistent. won't come back from a job until he found the last crate that fell off the merchant's wagon or whatever #very good at sword-fighting. cuz he trains and spars a lot and eats like a furnace to keep up his strength #his 'high pain tolerance' is something im self-inserting where i won't notice injuries until later. a bit oblivious. just keeps on truckin #an altogether formidable combo but. he is so much Just A Guy #no super strength no immunities no super-charged magic. not even a cursed weapon to give him a leg up #he finally visits his home again and it's confusing why it's not the same as he remembers it- #-when he should have much more in common with old neighbors and vendors at the market than with his cosmically superpowered friends #old sights and sounds and some friends that give him a warm welcome-back but... it's not the same. it's not home. not anymore #from the moment he chose his path he could never go back home #and I feel like the tragedy of that would be undercut if i gave him something like future-vision or a magical sword

[lunarharp]

when an obsessed orufrey person plays ace attorney for the first time in a while

#witch hat tag #orufrey #you know those times when the defendant is still in shambles at the end of a case because it was not a clear-cut thing #but you get to present one Special Sentimental piece of evidence that proves not all is lost #qifrey's breakdown would be like... he turns up calm and pleasant like dahlia kristoph gant etc but very quickly: #well first he's hiding his scar so you have to use the bracelet and also you find out about the seal on his hat using that. #eventually he is throwing water that comes out of nowhere like that coffee prosecutor guy. and his cape starts billowing #the more he breaks down his neck thingies start coming undone btw. To represent his descent into guilt and his LIES becoming undone. #course as the player i have already used my magatama and seen his 35894 psychelocks. but theyre those BLACK psychelocks #representing his repressed memories taken by the brimhats. also his glasses shatter out of nowhere when you keep presenting evidence #and tartah's testimony etc. and the player is like UHH this guy is A PUPPET MASTER but coco's heartfelt testimony commands the tone #and of course he's someone who has been twisted and damaged by trauma like adrian andrews. the mastermind is of course the brimhats #only me with my magatama knows that... only i can do it. It has to be me..... #just like how as the reader i can see everything about qifrey and i can hold him dear as much as i judge him #whereas if i were oru things would not be ok unless memories can be restored and mentally ill decisions can be illuminated #WELL ANYWAY !!!!! what i appreciate about ace attorney is its ability to mix silliness with seriousness #i cant usually make jokes about serious heavy heartbreaking stuff in witch hat because it is all very intense emotions for me #but i appreciate ace attorney's mix of sincerity and psychological pain and the inherent silliness to being a character in a situation #so.....Get Iguin on the stand. Now. BAILIFF.. TAKE OFF THE MASK #i would most love to be able to prove qifrey's eyesight is failing. hed be like I have no reason to pursue the brimhats (smiles pleasantly) #and it would be like You're lowering your gaze.. proof that the court lighting is too harsh for you..! #his glasses would crack at that moment btw. I used apollo's bracelet and saw the glyphs on the glass. #I know all about u. and i will save u

[vvienne]

I literally woke up in the middle of the night like God will dark rise is so fucking screwed. The line that’s like. “Everyone wanted to kill the Dark King.” What’s the part where he looks at Violet helplessly, haunted, almost pleading for mercy? But of course he reveals nothing of substance to anyone. Elizabeth is too young to understand but the reader knows what “Her relationship with that boy was…unnatural” can mean. Tying him to bedposts? Failing to strangle him? What else? Never not even once seeing beyond a mythological identity Will himself didn’t know he had? What did he think was the reason? That he was just intrinsically hateful? Of course he says nothing. Of course Violet can’t trust him- he’s given her nothing as painfully real as what she’s given him. So he gives her the sword hoping at least he can die at the hands of someone he loved, but even that doesn’t work out - she gives the sword to a Visander still furious at SARCEAN. The pattern continues; no one looks at Will, who vomits when he realizes what’s happened to James, Will who is much of a liar and killer and sneak as Elizabeth accuses but nonetheless wants to be different. Even when he doesn’t remember his own past. There’s no way out for him that doesn’t hurt. Hope this obsession passes soon given the one and a half years of waiting required for book 3

#dark rise series #dark heir #rarely does a cliffhanger pain me so much #bc rarely am I ever THAT invested in a plot I am sad to say #nona the ninth was so cathartic in of itself I’m content marinating before alecto #BUT PACAT ONLY EVER GIVES EMOTIONAL CRUMBS #have any of these bitches ever known peace fr #maybe this is what reading princes gambit and not immediately having the follow up might’ve been like #honestly it’s possibly damen and Lauren just generally had less problems tho #more than his relationship even with James. will/Violet is perhaps the genuine source of like. I WISH HED GIVEN HER A REASON. #the narration that describes Violet as Will’s star in the night…….. like fuck fine #will can’t reach any level of genuine intimacy with James bc the mess of fraught noncon dynamics is this massive unspoken horrible thing #wills identity is personal w James in a way it is with no one else but James is so fucking oblivious of undercurrents it comes unbalanced #and will knows it. but (as far as we know) violet isn’t reborn has no history with sarcean the dark king she’s literallt just Some Guy #and that almost makes it worse???????? that they are so loyal to each other even as he’s keeping a massive secret? #they weren’t dated or destined to entangle the way will is w characters like James and Katherine #and I think that makes his rship with Violet possibly the realest and truest experience of trust and love will has ever had #like it’s nothing bro. truly she knows nothing about him other than his lies of omission and her faith in him goodness which may or may not #beiltimately justified. but that was probably as honest and close will ever got to anyone. and him to her.

[tortellinigirl]

i think the adult relationship to the childhood dog is something that is so tender and heart-wrenching and important. you are the last vestige of my childhood. you are the sacred keeper of the memories i hold dearest, but you can barely see or hear me anymore. who do i become once you’re gone? where do i turn to remember myself? you’re the last one sitting next to me at the door of a childhood home that no longer exists, waiting patiently for the return of a family that no longer exists. where can i live when you, too, no longer exist? i can’t let go. please don’t make me let go. i know you’ll leave soon. i wish you didn’t have to. but she’s just a dog. her life is short and i will witness her death and i’ve known this from the beginning. i didn’t think it would come so fast. am i ready? have i become someone yet? have i become unrecognizable to her yet? does she still see the child i was? i’m still the child i was. please, don’t forget the child i was. please don’t take her away from me.

#i wrote this and put it in my drafts a few months ago #and now my childhood dog just died and im a complete fucking mess and i keep coming back to this #she was my baby #i got her as a birthday present from my parents #only a couple months before everything fell apart #i didnt know what was going on at home was abuse or that things were bad or that thwy would change #i just knew that my parents got me a puppy so i must be the luckiest girl in the world #and she was with us through all of it #and she knew our pain too #he was the one who wanted to put her in a shock collar #we all cried and begged him not to #she was just as traumatized by him as the rest of us #she was the last thread tying me to a time before i understood how bad things were #i don’t know who to be now #im sorry this is sooooo dramatic #i just loved my puppy #but she was 14 years old and we knew it was coming #i just hoped we’d have her for christmas

[smile-files]

as a jew, seeing what all of these israeli leaders have said is sickening. as a jew, anti-palestinian rhetoric is sickening. as a jew, zionism is sickening.

how dare my people -- a people who've been massacred, ethnically cleansed, dehumanized, forcibly removed, and discriminated on religious grounds for their entire existence -- do the same to another people? how dare we turn our backs on them, when they suffer like we have?

i understand that so much of us have been fed zionist propaganda our entire lives; the same happened to me. i understand the desire for a homeland where we don't have to fear antisemitism at every turn; i want that too. but it doesn't take much thought to understand that a homeland for us, which actively oppresses and kills another people, is antithetical to what we want.

if you, as a member of an oppressed group, believe that your freedom and safety can only exist when you oppress another group, you are acting no better than the people who oppressed you. such a belief is horrible, and cynical, and wrong.

as a jew, i want jewish people to be happy and safe and connected to our heritage; as a jew, i also want other peoples to be happy and safe and connected to their heritage.

don't call the palestinians "amalek". you are turning us into amalek.

doesn't the torah tell us to have empathy for those beaten down by the world? doesn't the torah tell us to make the world a better place? doesn't the torah tell us to free people of their shackles and help them escape oppression?

i have so many israeli aunts and uncles and cousins; i fear for their safety. of course, my parents do as well. i'm worried that this fear, in addition to anything they were led to believe earlier in life, is placing my parents even deeper in the zionist camp. but it doesn't have to be this way! my relatives' safety does not rely on the continued oppression of gaza!

it is easy to be uninformed, to be swayed by propaganda, to blindly hope that israel was founded in good faith -- but we can't lie to ourselves. a world steeped in senseless hatred (which we are now promoting!) could never be a home for us. none of us are free, liberated, equal, until all of us are.

as a jew, to other jews, i implore that we stand with our palestinian siblings. i want us all to be happy and safe. i want us all to live in harmony -- in the holy land and around the world. that is what we all deserve. <3

#melonposting #i apologize for not reblogging/posting much stuff about israel/palestine until now #i kept having this fear that my mom would see and get angry at me #but what do i care? i want both jews and palestinians to be happy #oh yeah. and i keep hearing the argument that 'jews living in the holy land before israel was established weren't treated well' #i don't know if that's true or not... but does it matter? #like of course antisemitism is horrible. but that can be dealt with #forcibly taking over their land is not the answer #like if israel were never a thing and people saw that jews living in the holy land didn't have rights #they'd do something about it! #and if you think they wouldn't (which is a fair thing to think)... well then you should do something about it!!! #don't solve oppression with more oppression you idiot!!!!! #no positive change will ever come to a world which doesn't think positive change can happen #and oppression is not positive change. #and it also pains me how so much of zionist rhetoric feeds off of post-holocaust fear #and i get it. i get that in the mid 20th century we were so scared and angry after the holocaust #and that we desperately wanted a safe haven #i will never not empathize with that fear and rage because it's justified #but that is no excuse to oppress another group of people. there are other ways to be safe and happy i promise #just stop hurting each other... please... you're not helping anyone... #palestine #israel #zionism

[kellterntempest]

To Hell and Back (werewolf-hunter au)

fic tidbit below

The lycan growled, his ears flattening. The fur along his spine and his tail puffedup, making his silhouette even larger than normal. Stone’s teeth, normally shining bright, were dark and stained thick with blood. His fur was also covered in what looked like a viscous mixture of blood, mud, and phosphorous slime. The wolf favored his left front paw, snapping at him in warning – Don't get close.

"Stone. It's me." Robotnik spoke firmly, with no room for doubt. "I'm here to bring you home."

The word "home" landed hard. The growling stopped, and a small whine came out instead from the wolf. Stone stood fixed in place, his legs shaking from his body’s prolonged state of fear and exhaustion. His eyes darted cautiously, still searching for the impending danger.

"Yes, home." Robotnik repeated, removing the gas mask off of his head. With great strength of will he ignored the sweltering, noxious heat and stench in the air. He cleared his throat, fighting back the instantaneous nausea, and softened his voice to speak again. Back to the voice he used only when they were alone together. "Samir. Come with me. We'll be together again."

The lycan's mouth opened, panting in slow, heaving breaths. Two trails of tears streaked clean amidst his blood soaked face. Stone took a step towards Robotnik, then another, limping closer.

Just as they were about to be within arm's reach, a searing scream pierced through the air that was quickly joined by a hellish chorus of voices. A pack of demons were approaching.

Robotnik raised his shotgun. "Time to go! Move it!" He slipped his mask back over his head and beckoned Stone to follow with a hard swing of his arm.

#sneek peek. WHY do i keep coming up with long fics. pain #werewolf au #stobotnik #werewolf!stone #jimbotnik #my fics #my art #i AM writing the werewolf au its just..... all over the place right now #tried using the “real g pen” for sketching to see how it turns out... i like it so far

[negativecity]

wasteland queens

#im back with more of this genderswap au thing goin on #it was so hard to come up with a design for nern but i LOVE how she turned out... #tbh i WAS gonna just keep her and olan shirtless but its just a lot more fun to come up with something else #plus i plan on posting this on ig and dont want to get reported for posting '''''female nipples'''' bro im already shadowbanned on there... #so pls dont be mad at me for changing them a lot...i cooked hard on this #also i wanted to make her outfit more comfy since shes like the grandma of the group #meanwhile for Terry i basically just kept her the same as her regular design #artblr #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #illustration #small artist #character art #lisa the painful #brad armstrong #nern guan #olan hoyt #terry hintz #lisa the painful genderswap #rule 63 #lisa rpg

[fisheito]

my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled

OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY

#rei looking directly at the camera like why are you subjecting me to this. i do not need any of this. i know how to do it #rei wearing stilettos the size of your head so he becomes ur very tall bird goth gf #you know how yakumo gets when he instructs someone on how to cook something #he becomes confident and just tells ppl how to do stuff without his usual amount of stutter and secondguessing #i'm gonna pretend that after his stiletto training in misty vale he gains a TINY MOLECULE of confidence due to experience #like [i can help you if you've never done it before?] #honestly i can't imagine this scenario happening because i am so SURE that rei can walk in heels HAHAHA even tho nothing has proven that #SOMETHING COME PROVE ME WRONG SO MY DELUSIONS CAN SLIDE CLOSER TO POSSIBILITY #anyway even if rei didn't know how to wear heels #would he ever mention it? would yakumo ever learn of it? #rei would probably be all . i don't need to wear heels. they can't even see them under the dress. i'll wear my practical shoes #but if he can't get away with that and will be forced to wear heels at the party... #maybe he'll go [meh. i'll figure it out] and just not wear them until the day of the dance #at which point his feet will hurt after 20 minutes and for the whole night he takes any chance to sit down #rei can be frequently spotted on SOME surface SOMEWHERE in the palace. sitting all splayed out and uncaring of propriety #because he is in PAIN and these shoes are STUPID and why do people wear them for ANYTHING . Royals are so IMPRACTICAL #yakumo keeps trying to avoid heels for the dance because he doesn't want to be any taller than he already is #i bet there's a full convo about it between him and eiden #eiden trying to reassure him that if he wants to wear heels then he shouldn't let others' perception stop him from doing so #but if he genuinely doesn't want to wear them then that's ok too #eiden craning his neck up at yakumo in heels like you're my pretty princess 1-2 heads taller than me your height doesn't matter 🥰 #i'm now torn. yakumo and rei both wearing heels now? in order to stay at similar heights? #or. rei starting out with heels. getting tired of them. going barefoot for the rest of the night lol #yakumo and rei still dancing in their ballgowns together but a much shorter rei leads a yakumo in heels #yes. yes this is the vision #yakumo #rei #yakurei #replies

[s0fter-sin]

thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage

you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out

"i'm calling shepherd"

his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books; to go up the chain and sort it out democratically. that goes against everything we've seen him do; he’s quick to drop his enemies and bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns

he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer

there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends

nothing's happened yet

it doesn't have to go this way

but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy

he doesn't hesitate

it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from

only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat

and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for

"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"

he's learned the price of trust

just like ghost did

but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath

"good advice, It"

#i might crown myself the ceo of soap meta at this point i love digging into this boy #but it seriously fucks me up how much he tries to de escalate the situation #invoking shepherd like hes trying to remind graves of who funds him and the power he holds #the consequences he’ll face if he goes through with this. just stop and think it through first #only to be stricken silent when graves drops ‘general shepherd sends his regards’ #he doesnt say a single word after that #ghosts the one who picks up the lead for him ‘he knows about this?’ #he can still function through his shock and the gut wrenching betrayal bc he’s been through this before #and he knows freezing will get him killed #but soap doesnt #he freezes #getting shot is something he wouldve been through before but being shot by an ally? #at that moment he isnt sergeant mactavish #hes johnny and hes in shock #and thats why ghost yelling for johnny doesnt reach him #he only breaks through when he calls him soap. when hes forced back into a soldiers mindset #thats all thats keeping him going. he isnt johnny a man whos been betrayed by a friend #hes a soldier following direct orders to keep himself alive #i can only imagine the after #when he lets his rage run out and is faced with the vulnerable and painful betrayal #but ghosts there to help him through that too. there for johnny the way he wished someone had been there for him #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #soapghost

[sunforgrace]

dean “reacts in new, interesting, fucked up ways to losing cas” winchester and they’re telling me that has nothing to do with nothing in the finale after cas literally confessed his romantic love the act of which was his moment of true happiness and subsequent sacrificial death. haha okay

#did anyone try the consciously choosing to pull that trenchcoat out of the water fold it up and transfer it between each new car #putting it in the trunk from car to car just keeping it until the moment he puts it back in cas’ hands i thought the transferring the #trenchcoat between each non impala car was lovely #orrrr the time his brain literally rewrote his memory. because the reality of cas choosing to stay behind in purgatory rather than #going with dean was more painful than a memory where dean failed to save him and cas was reaching out to him desperately. and he couldn’t #save him. that he NEEDED to remember it that way to cope. #and then seeing cas on the road and at the window (I’m so cold I’ve come home) and fully believed he was seeing visions of him. #FROM DEEP MOURNING ENTIRE ARC TO COWBOY TIMES. and this time it’s pretty much fine you guys don’t worry about it. #after a love confession which. is literally the death of him. the act of loving dean in that moment and doing so openly both his true #happiness and his cause of death. which he chose. okay! #surely dean ‘very capable of being normalcore about castiel the angel’ will experience no rammys from this #(also by fucked up I don’t mean wrong I mean he does not do well it is not a good experience for him)