#(rip danny's kidney) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

t00turnttrauma · 2 years

Text

picture perfect- drw

This one had me soft.

It was three things that jerked you awake. The first was the two wild kids running in the hallway, long after everyone had gone to bed. You swatted at Danny.

“They’re your kids,” you muttered, trying to hold onto the sleep before you were fully awake.

“Why are they always my kids when they do something bad?” He asked as he rolled out of bed.

“I birthed them; you bail them out.”

He chuckled tiredly, opening the door and shouting out a hey. You could imagine the two kids scattering like mice back into their beds. Their voices traveled through the wall, pulling you back into sleep. Their giggles and good nights always warmed your heart. About an hour later, both kids poked at your sleeping body, whispering softly to wake up. You gave them a look, glancing at the clock. “What?”

Francine looked at her brother. “We can’t sleep and we’re hungry.”

You looked at James. “It’s way too late and we have an early morning.”

“Mom,” James whined. “I want cereal.”

You swatted at Danny again. “Tell them they can’t have cereal, it’s three in the morning.”

He shook his head. “Your kids now. I’m off duty.”

You sat up, taking both kids by the hands, and walking them to their shared room. Francine split off to her side of the room, climbing into bed. James was still afraid of the dark, his room illuminated with a nightlight that Sam had given him.

“We have family pictures tomorrow and I can’t have you both looking like little corpses with bags under your eye bags,” you said, tucking James in first. You kissed his temple. “I promise that we’ll have cereal for breakfast.”

Franny was next. She climbed up the ladder to her loft bed, lowering the safety bar so you could kiss her goodnight. Once you were finally back in bed, they were usually able to fall back asleep. You were wrong though and it was proved when you received an elbow to the cheek and a knee to the ribs. James had jumped over you, settling between you and Danny. You didn’t move, wondering if your husband would say anything. James had a habit of crawling in bed with his parents when he couldn’t sleep. It was a habit you’d been trying to break with a little bit of tough love.

“Do you want a blanket?” Danny asked, shifting to let James under the covers.

“I had a bad dream.”

“Was it a real bad dream?”

James hesitated to answer. “No.”

He let out a chuckle, the bed shifting as he scooted to let James rest. The boy had a habit of becoming a starfish.

In the morning, you were the first to rise. Technically, you were woken up by your son kicking you in the kidneys. Four years later and he was still waking you up using that method. Breakfast was simple, so you set it up, cereal and milk portioned out, waiting for when the two kids came thundering down the hall. It was smooth sailing until James took one bite after pouring the biggest bowl you’d ever seen and suddenly decided he wanted waffles instead. Francine was on board, sliding her bowl to the side and patiently waiting for the famous Wagner Waffles that Danny usually made on weekends. Sighing, you pulled out the appliance and ingredients for the batter.

Picture days were always ten times harder. James and Francine could be the sweetest angels sometimes, but on important days, they were like a pair of wild banshees. Last year, James had tripped, and his photos had to be airbrushed to not show the cut on his lip as bad. The year before that, Francine had decided to cut her bangs, leaving her looking like a well-used broom. This year, they’d gotten dressed after breakfast, meaning that their clothes was safe from the sticky syrup.

Danny helped them with their shoes and hair while you changed into something you’d be happy wearing for a year and hung on the wall. The drive over to his parent’s house was a short one, but so eventful. James ripped the bottom of his pants after getting them stuck in the car door. You reached over the console, using the safety pins you had in the glovebox to keep them from dragging on the ground. Danny drove slowly, avoiding your elbows. James ran out of the car before Danny could even put it in park, racing up the stairs into his grandparent’s home. Francine fell in the grass when she tried to jump out. You swiped at Francine’s dress, trying to smooth out the wrinkles and brush off the dirt. A large grass stain was smeared into the pastel fabric.

“Mom, I’m hungry,” she whined.

“You should have had your waffles before you left to play.”

“They didn’t have chocolate chips in them like dad puts. He cooks better.”

You rolled your eyes. “Your father has you two spoiled rotten.”

Lori met you halfway, sending Francine into the house. “Rough night? They look tired.”

“James and Franny had us up all night asking for food and more tv time and just-“you sighed. “Was Danny like this as a kid?”

She nodded. “And then some. Now he’s getting a taste of his own medicine.”

“What did I do to deserve this?” You asked. You looked over at the three generations of Wagner men in the garden, listening intently to Grandpa Wagner’s advice. “Maybe it’s a small price to pay for that.”

The photographer arrived soon after. You settled everyone together on the stairs. Danny’s parents stood in the back, his sister between them. In front of them were you and Danny and in front of you were James and Francine. The photographer had placed James slightly in front of Franny to hide the grass stains. You handed them their signs, the family last name and year on them, along with a little something.

“Alright, is everyone ready?” The photographer asked. “You all look great. Big smiles!”

You patted James to was practically vibrating. “Everyone say baby!” You said.

Everyone followed along, thinking nothing of it for a second. James and Francine latched on to your sides, James rubbing your stomach.

“Really?” Danny asked, his eyes wide with shock.

You nodded, patting the backs of your two kids. “It’s true. Get ready to take this ride one more time.”

Danny laughed, pulling the three of you into his arms. “I’ll travel this road a million more times as long as it’s with you.”

50 notes · View notes

mxtcha-tea · 3 years

Text

Truly Greg

✎desc; haikyuu as Danny Gonzalez quotes (out of context)

✎pairing[s]; haikyuu x reader (platonic? romantic? who knows)

✎genre; crack

✎languange[s]; english

✎chef note; self explanatory (also using text type dividers cause this is gonna be so much)

✎warning; cursing, mentions of death, pulling out your organs (one time only), beating up someone, degrading and bad sex jokes(?)

Yamagata:"WHERE ARE THE GIRLS"

»»---------------------►

Atsumu:"What's up guys, I've finally escaped from the serial killer! My life's in serious jeopardy right now so make sure you smash that like button guys!"

»»---------------------►

Terushima:"Don't worry," *smirk* "We're the good guys ehehe—"

»»---------------------►

Daichi:"If we don't see anything in that basement, you better get your ass back in that house and you're gonna stop complaining, alright?!"

»»---------------------►

Hoshiumi:"FUCK THAT ALLIGATOR"

»»---------------------►

Tsukishima:"You fucking bitch. You think anyone could ever love you? YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE BEFORE ANYONE LOVES YOU! NO ONE, WOULD EVER LOVE YOU. UGLY BABY, UGLY BABY!" *menacingly points at a child*

»»---------------------►

Ennoshita:"Basically, if you're not normal, you're gonna fucking suck at everything. You're not going to be able to do, all the other things people could do. Basically, what's gonna happen is that you're gonna lose at everything all the time and we're making this movie, to children, to introduce you to that harsh reality, right away"

»»---------------------►

Suga:"I have always dreamed about water, living in it, tasting it, BREATHING IT, LOVING IT, LOVING THE WATER—"

»»---------------------►

Konoha:"Holy shit, this room's small as hell. Hey, try not to be an anti social little bitch the whole time, alright?"

»»---------------------►

[y/n]:"Excuse me, can I go to the bathroom?"

The whole Shiratorizawa:*GASPS*

Yamagata:"WHAT THE FUCK—" *looking around in fear*

Semi:"The bathroom..?"

Kawanishi:"I haven't seen anyone gone to the bathroom in 15 years..."

Tendou:"Why would anyone go to the bathroom??"

Reon:"This doesn't make any sense!"

Goshiki:"Guys, my bones are getting squishy" *flailing his arms around*

»»---------------------►

Bokuto:"Akaashi, you forgot to pay the electricity bill again!" *trying to turn on the lights but missing everytime*

»»---------------------►

Kenma:"END THE SCENE, END IT NOW!"

»»---------------------►

Kiyoko:"Suga, she's trying to teach them on how to be ladies. Do not tell them about butts, ladies are not suppose to know about butts"

»»---------------------►

Mattsun:"Now, this is your side of the room. I've leave it completely untouched, I didn't go over your closet and smell your clothes and rub my bare butt all over your bed. So you don't have to worry about any of that"

»»---------------------►

Tendou:"Sex mode activated!" *spins with flashing lights around* "It's fucking time!"

»»---------------------►

Sakusa(?):"No girls, no parties and no fun. You're not allowed to date anyone while I make this app, [y/n]. You're mine, [y/n]"

»»---------------------►

Yamamoto:"THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, KENMA! DON'T YOU GET IT?!" *runs towards Kenma and passive aggressively hold his shoulders* "THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, THEY'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I EVER SEEN! AND THEY DOES LAUNDRY, KENMA. THAT'S THE ONLY THING I KNOW ABOUT THEM, KENMA!"

»»---------------------►

Suna:"Okay, I'm gonna say the 'c' word, everybody ready? Commitment!"

Atsumu:"AGHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Osamu:"NO—

»»---------------------►

Asahi:"I hope this is a 'smooth' ride, ehehe..I just genuinely hope, that it is a smooth ride. And I don't know anything, that will lead me to believe, that it won't be"

»»---------------------►

Yaku:"[y/n]?? On an app?? Meeting people?? Nuh uh"

»»---------------------►

Bokuto:*standing while smiling at the camera*

Bokuto, a few minutes later:*started looking dripping af with a backward cap and sunglasses, cake getting bigger while still smiling at the camera*

Bokuto, in another few minutes later:*Is now a wizard with a big cake while still smiling at the camera*

»»---------------------►

Fukunaga:"Oh, look at this! Look at this lady getting shot right in front of me, that's kinda fun"

»»---------------------►

Oikawa:"Alright gang, let's punch this bitch" *started punching a bitch with rhythm* "And one! And two!"

Seijoh 3rd year and [y/n]:*doing the same* "And one! And two!"

»»---------------------►

Ushijima:"Bounce and have fun, I don't care. Yeah you found a trampoline, who gives a shit? Just bounce and have fun. You don't have to tell me everytime you found a bounce here"

»»---------------------►

Futakuchi:"Oh yeah daddy" *snickers* "Oh yeah daddy, chase me down the streets!"

»»---------------------►

Kuroo:"Come come everybody just come, JUST COME! Don't ask any questions, let's together bath"

»»---------------------►

Akagi:"Kechaw!"

»»---------------------►

Kyoutani:"Hey can I rip up your stomach and pull out your kidney?"

»»---------------------►

Aran:"Ah, I'm a busy businessman, gonna drink some water" *taking a sip*

Atsumu:*with his shirt half up* "I can suck your dick"

Aran:*chokes on water*

»»---------------------►

Inuoka:"Wait, that's not papa. Who the fuck is that? DID THEY GET RID OF PAPA?? DID THEY GET A DIVORCE OR SOMETHING?? YOU'RE NOT PAPA, WHERE'S PAPA???"

»»---------------------►

Semi:"Listen to this song, vibe it. Really, really dig on it, chew it, munch munch crunch it, throw it up, groove with it"

»»---------------------►

Noya:"[y/n]'s cooking me dinner? And now they're sitting??" *Laughs*

»»---------------------►

Lev:"Think you ain't beautiful? Stop that! Stop it right now! You think you're not beautiful?" *pauses while thinking* "Stop that!"

»»---------------------►

Koganegawa:"I will pay, 20 thousand yen, for whoever can find me [y/n]—"

»»---------------------►

Aone:"You beautiful, you strong, you healthy, you, good grades, handsome"

»»---------------------►

Makki:"Oh no! Oh, dammit! This really ruins my whole day! My friend breaking his neck and shit. Oh no..."

»»---------------------►

Kageyama:"GIVE ME THAT, FUCKING ICE CREAM"

»»---------------------►

Akaashi:"I was a perfectly frozen statue! Nothing could hurt me, I was basically in a coma! But then you kids had to come and touch me, and now I can't go two seconds without falling out of a wall and shattering into pieces. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be an egg? No, you've never been an egg in your life! Next time I shatter, can you just let me die? Don't get the horses and the men, don't get the rabbit or the mouse, just let me die, please"

»»---------------------►

Hinata:"Mmn, men's tea" *sipping tea with his pants on fire* "This is what I wanted"

»»---------------------►

Takehito:"Oh hey man, huh"

Kamasaki:*menacingly jogging towards him*

Takehito:"Hey dude! Good to see you" *waving his hand*

Kamasaki:*Keeps jogging*

Takehito:*smile slowly turns into a frown* "Oh no..."

Kamasaki:*grinning scarily at him while STILL jogging*

Takehito:"Oh, no, no, GOD NO, NO!"

Kamasaki:*pushes him and started punching him*

Takehito:"WHY???"

Kamasaki:*kept on punching* "You're my best, friend!"

»»---------------------►

Hirugami:"Hey dude, you really need to turn your life around. You're making everybody sad, watching you. You can stop that"

»»---------------------►

Kindaichi:"I'm gone, I'm GONE, I'M GONE"

»»---------------------►

Yamaguchi:"Alright, let's try onnnnn" *put the mirror in front of a figurine* "this guy" *holds it up*

[y/n]:*pops up in the scene*

*eerie music starts*

Yamaguchi:*smile flatters*

[y/n]:*looks at yamaguchi and stopped smiling* "You can see me..."

Yamaguchi:"...what?"

[y/n]:"You...you can see me" *points at themself*

Yamaguchi:*shaking slightly* "Who are you...?"

[y/n]:"Finally...."

Yamaguchi:"Huh..."

[y/n]:"FINALLY, I'M A REAL PERSON!—"

Yamaguchi:*puts the mirror down as the figurine turns back to normal* *sighs* *looks back at the camera* "It didn't work"

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu crack #haikyuu fluff #?#maybe #will add more tags later cause my dumbass accidently post this #smh it's okay since I've already finished it anyway

52 notes · View notes

deputy-ajay-ghale · 3 years

Text

I can’t get into Carly/Jason when the love is so one sided when it comes to one of the most important things in their lives: their children.

Sure, apparently Carly would care for Jason’s children should anything happen to him and their mothers, but where is the evidence? We know Jason would rip out his kidneys for all of Carly’s children (the overlap that they are/become Sonny’s children is just a bonus), get shot for any of her little girls and sole son.

But would Carly ever do the same for Jason’s children? I mean, more than helping cover the cost of summer semester tuition. Money is just money for someone like Carly. Would Carly chase after a van on foot if she saw Jake being kidnapped? Or trade places in a hostage situation with Danny? I don’t think she would. I don’t think she could put Jason’s children on the same level as hers, or even herself.

I can’t remember a single scene between Carly and his kids. I can tell you when Olivia mentions Danny is playing with her children, or when Alexis was colouring with Scout, and Jake getting to spend time with Scott. But not Carly “Center Of Jason’s Universe” Corinthos taking time to spend a moment with her best friend’s children.

#general hospital #anti carly #original post

8 notes · View notes

spinwrites · 4 years

Text

the sacrifices of children

Danny Phantom drabble. This is set early on in season 1, in which Danny deals with the emotional sacrifices of getting shot at by his parents.

Me? A fanfic writer projecting onto this kid? Never.

The first time she swung the barrel end of her gun at him, his joints locked up, his mouth went dry, and the ectoblasts in his palms sizzled and popped into nothing.

“Mom.”

The wind in the distance between them ripped his word away, and the blast ripped through his stomach.

He didn’t know if it was his stomach for sure – maybe it was his diaphragm, or his kidneys; he was a physics-lover and knew jack shit about physiology – but it rendered him unable to fly. So, he heaved himself out of her line of fire, running for the fall-painted trees rimming the park. The oranges and reds of the foliage burned bright like the afterimage of the white noon sun, superimposed before his vision as he ducked beneath the dark cover of the leaves.

As he trampled further past the branches and twigs that bit at the skin beneath his jumpsuit, this niggled at the back of his mind: he was a ghost, he could turn intangible; he should try. But the thought felt distant compared to the loud crumple of leaves – bled dry, ripped open by the force of their boots against them – and the head-pounding need to get away – from Mom – that he shoved it aside and twisted his head about, praying for a place to hide.

Nothing was making sense. All the trees looked featureless, smears of vibrant autumn color against harsh, dry bark, towering over him. The canopy let in smatterings of light, and his gaze leapt from sunlit patch to sunlit patch, until as if God had given him an answer, a low-hanging tree swollen with leaves lay just out of reach of the light.

White-gloved fingers dug into the bark, and he pulled himself up, biting hard into his lip as he glanced down and strained not to stain the trunk with his ghostly blood. It would be evidence. He couldn’t leave evidence.

The tree was almost twice his height, and up he scrambled, feeling as though he were reliving his childhood, how Mom had encouraged him to climb up trees with Jazz in another spot in this very park, hands braced at his back in case he fell. He couldn’t not think about it as he made his way up, but when his hand reached for the leaves he grit his teeth and willed himself intangible.

It worked. He crumpled into the indent atop the trunk, feeling his breaths coming in quick.

And then, oh and then, did the pain set in.

It struck him like a snake in waiting, coldness slithering into his extremities, tears and sweat stinging his eyes. But he didn’t dare close them; he let his vision swim and stay on the crisscrossing of branches and leaves above him. He pressed his lips together, didn’t dare breathe, and strained his hearing for the crunch of footsteps below.

Leaves crackled.

Was that her? Or was that the wind above?

He wondered, then, if he should turn back human. His mother might have brought along his father’s ghost detection device; she had shown it to him over toast and orange juice that morning. Little hand-held devices with indicators that glowed red in response to ectoplasmic activity within a kilometer’s radius.

But a tiny, wild voice pounded this thought into his head: if he released his hold over his ghost, the ectoplasm would transform into blood, and the blood would sink into the fabric of his white shirt. How could he return to his mother, whom he had abandoned in the park in search of the ghost? How could he look her in the eyes and stammer a lie about why flakes of blood clung to his skin, why its metallic whiff permeated his clothes?

Whose blood is this? He imagined her crying. Who hurt you, Danny?

No. It wasn’t worth a little ectoplasm lost, not when his body could now easily make more.

With the comfort of a decision made, he relaxed into the rough bark against his shoulders, let the branches surround him like the bars of a cage, and prayed he would not be found.

Written: 31 May 2020 | DannyMay 2020 Day 29, Heat

#dannymay2020 #danny phantom #fanfiction #drabble #dp danny

106 notes · View notes

phantomgirl15 · 3 years

Note

For the fic writing asks, 4,8, and 10.

4. My ideas tend to come from dreams, if I’m having a conversation with my friends and we’re talking about a cool concept, or when I’m typing other works. I usually give myself a push with typing and while I’m typing my usually rough draft word vomit I’ll come up with an idea that I like but doesn’t fit into the story so I write it as a new work and let the idea brew for a while. I also really appreciate my friends who have me say “hold on a moment I need to write that down” when they say something that gives me an idea. Whether or not we’re talking anything about any fandom ever.

8. The part I’m most proud of? Uhhhhhh.... good question. Probably a chunk of the prequel to my newest work that I have to fix some loopholes in called “Embrace the Enemy Within”. It does get cery graphically violent so I’ll be putting it under the answers with a warning.

10. Most of my works go with canon at least a little bit, but I tend to get more creative with the stuff that’s fanon. I enjoy being able to incorporate some new stuff into the original to be able to make it so that my ideas make sense. Over all, canon is usually okay for me, but I add in several new things with the canon to make it better.

And now for that little blurb:

Warning: this blurb gets very graphic and violent. There is a lot of blood. Please read at your own risk.

“Danny, what are you doing?”

“What I should have done a long, long time ago.”

Danny's hands rose above his head, brushing past his glowing white hair, his eyes burning an eerie green as his hands charged ectoenergy around a small knife. He looked down at the girl at his mercy, his body shaking with energy, just waiting for tears to stream from her face before he struck her with the sharp tip of the knife.

“Why are you doing this?”

The girl leaned up against the back wall of the alley the two were hidden away in. Nobody could see them, nobody could hear them at the moment, but the security camera across the street could see everything that happened, and while it could not hear anything it saw, and recorded, everything that happened.

Danny lowered his head, his eyes changing from their usual toxic green to a deep red, a strange glow coming from them.

“Because I have to.”

“But… you don’t…”

The girl’s breathing had become labored from her fear and the broken rib in her chest from Danny beating her to the ground, forcing her into the lightless alleyway. She attempted to stand, only to have her knees kicked from behind as Danny forced her to the ground once again. Tears fell from her eyes causing Danny to grin as his eyes looked back upwards, the knife he didn’t realize he had lowered to his side rising back to the air, charging with red energy rather than green this time.

“I do have to. You have no say in what I do and don’t have to do.”

He lowered the knife to the young girl’s arm, singeing the hairs on her forearm with the energy radiating off of his weapon. A small slice began on her forearm and as Danny felt that energizing feeling of somebody else’s pain, of drawing blood from somebody else for once, of having somebody else understand the pain he went through, he lost control of himself.

Danny sliced deeper into the girl’s arm, deeper and deeper until he felt his knife hit bone, and then he sent energy through his hand and snapped the bone in half, her forearm falling limp as she screamed in pain and terror. He lunged at her and dropped his knife, sent his hands, charged with ectoenergy, into her midsection to leave burn marks all over her body. He poured his energy into his hands and used it to punch her so hard her intestines protruded from her mouth and slid down her face and neck like a snake until they were lying in her lap.

Danny continued to use his energy to keep her alive, to force her to feel this pain, even as she lost organs and her arm. His energy let him burn through her skin and muscle tissue, revealing her inner sections. Danny forced her heart to stop beating but continued to keep her alive, to make her feel pain like he did. He pulled her lungs away from her ribs, punctured each one at least three times with his knife before slicing her stomach open, ripping her legs from her pelvis, and slitting her throat with his energy to keep her from screaming. Nothing but gurgling came from her mouth as blood ran down her body and came up through her mouth, a psychotic laugh leaving Danny’s own lips. He saw her eyes sinking and recharged the energy keeping her alive.

“Oh, we aren’t done yet.”

Danny fell to his knees and ripped her appendix out of her body, tearing it in half over her head, the inner contents falling down her hair and face. He began to look at her face, fear filled her eyes. He laughed again as he burned her cheeks, leaving nothing but the tissue from her charred muscles and skin. Danny grabbed his knife from the ground and stabbed her left eye, twisting as she tried to scream but only spat out blood. He yanked his knife out, her eye coming with it. Danny pulled his hand intangibly through her head, pulling her other eye out and leaving it sitting in her lap, looking up at him in fear. She saw her organs and limbs scattered on the ground. Each one destroyed beyond repair. He pulled her kidneys from her abdomen and snapped them like kidney beans that hadn’t been cooked yet. His laughter echoed around him, but not a soul from the town heard him but the girl.

“Don’t worry. It will all be over soon.”

Danny whispered to the girl as he charged a large ghost ray and aimed his right arm at what looked like the side of her head. As he brought his arm back into aim he blasted her skull, bone fragments and the inner section of her brain raining down upon them both and splattering up against the wall. He poked through her brain and left half of it on the ground, the other half as a soup in her head after he used more ectoenergy to melt it to a puddle. Finally, he sighed after another round of his laugh.

“That’s enough damage for today, don’t you think?”

He asked the girl who was far beyond gone as he removed his energy from her body. Then he slit her body everywhere else that he hadn’t destroyed and watch blood pool around her on the cold, damp ground covered in organs and burnt skin. Danny kicked her one whole eye out of her lap and rolled it on the ground a few times before putting enough body weight on it that it popped, liquid running out of it from three sides, the outer layers looking like they had popped like popcorn kernels. He smiled as he picked his knife up and let his energy burn it, the metal melting, the handle catching flame and disintegrating to nothing but a pile of ash.

“Not too bad for a first try.”

Danny flew off as fast as he could, his body aching to do it again as he lost control of his senses in the cold air in October in Amity Park. He pictured the girl before he did any damage, before even the first bruise. She had been pretty, but even those who looked pretty were able to feel pain. Danny then thought of how she looked after he was done with her, unrecognizable to anyone unless they really tried to see who she was. Nobody would be able to figure out that Danny Phantom had violently and mercilessly killed the young Sam Manson. Nobody except the security camera that Danny hadn’t thought about before he began his unregretted actions.

#fanfic #fanfic asks #fanfic writer #phandom

6 notes · View notes

whumpologist · 4 years

Text

Finly part two of my Hawaii five-0 fan fiction. Took a while but I hope you'll enjoy it

Two men continue to shove me, and I am unable to see where I am. I hear a door open and I'm forced inside. I do my best to struggle against the men but to no avail, eventually I find my self hanging from a ceiling, my hands in restraints. When the hood is removed the first thing I see is steve, strapped to a metal chair in front of me.

"Danny" he says defeated.

"What the he-" a fist is thrown into my stomach and I struggle to breath.

"You see steve they've been doing it all wrong. Its not you they should be torturing but rather those you care about, that's the trick, that's your weakness."

Wo fats voice fills the room, and a distaste fills my mouth.

"So here's how this is going to go. I'm going to ask you the questions and your going answer, and if you don't." With a motion of his hand a huge guy walks up to me and I prepare for what's to come. He thrusts his fist into my rib cage and then twice into my stomach. I wheeze, gasping for air. My legs give way and the chains cut through my wrists, and a warm thick fluid starts to run down my wrist.

"Stop. Please stop. Listen to me, please. I don't know who or what prisoner 726 is okay. I don't know."

Wo fat sighs "that's not the answer I'm looking for."

"No, plea-oof" again the man starts beating me. The punches are sharp and calculated, each sucking the air from my lungs. He doesn't stop, punches land on my rib cage, my stomach and my kidneys. I do my best to breath but its becoming harder with each blow.

"C'mon steve you don't really expect me to believe that do you?" Wo fat says after the man finally let's up.

"As you know steve, a beating is just one method of torture, and we have all the time in the world." He snaps, and the big guy leaves the room.

I can't help but chuckle. , "y'know" I say after catching my breath. "I've watched a lot a movies but I've never seen something more cliche then what I just witnessed"

Wo fat laughs and then throws a fist into my kidney. Probably not the best thing to say when your chained to the ceiling, but I just couldn't help it..

Wo fat pulls out a pocket knife and walks towards me, I try to inch away but the chains hold me in place. He silently, almost with care, cuts off my shirt, and takes off my tie. My tie. My blue tie with the little yellow dots, the one grace gave me for Father's Day. When the door opens again I turn to see the big man walk in holding what looks like a black police baton.

"Have you ever seen a rancher use a cattle prod?"

My eyes widen as I realize what he's holding

"Cows can be pretty stubborn, takes a real jolt to get them moving. Must hurt." He turns to me "You'll have to let me know."

And with that, he jams the prod into my side. I scream, the pain is like nothing I've experienced before, and nothing I want to experience again. My muscles contract and my hands curl up into fists. I can feel the metal prongs burning a hole into my skin, while electricity surges through my arms and torso. I notice steve turn his head away, unable to watch the pain I'm in. But the big man walks over and grabs him my the hair forcing him to watch. I continue to scream, and when wo fat finally lifts the prod, he motions and the big man walks back to me and starts throwing punches. I do my best to take each of them in, but my breathing becomes labored and I keep losing my footing causing the chains to rip into my wrists even more.

" this can stop whenever you want it to steve." Wo fat says in between blows. "Just tell me about prisoner 726"

I rack my brain to figure out who this prisoner 726 is, but I'm drawing a blank. So I make something up.

"Prisoner 726" I say

Wo fat walks over. "You know who they are?"

Oh yeah I know all about him."

"Tell me everything."

"Sure, sure. Just get this guy off me."

Wo fat motion's and the man moves away.

"Go on."

"He, he's a secret agent, he drives clients around" I say doing my best to keep from being beaten.

"His name is Josh," I continue "and the shmuck is the worst uber driver ever. Guy would not stop talking, just babbled on and on and on. He definitely got a one star from me. If you see him tell him I want a refund"

Wo fat laughs, and another wave of pain shoots through me as he jams the prod into my stomach. I scream. In retrospect the comment probably wasn't the best idea.

"Listen to me, what makes you think I know this guy?" Steve asks.

"Because he's under five-0 jurisdiction. Has been for years."

What the hell is he talking about. Whoever this guy is, Wo fat clearly has false information on them.

"What are you talking about?" Steve says, just as confused as I am.

Wo fat just shakes his head, and once again the prod is thrown into my side. I scream and the smell of burning flesh fills my nostrils. My burning flesh. Electricity surges through my body and before I even know it every thing goes black. When I regain consciousness I'm wet and I realize that Wo fat must have thrown water on me to wake me up. I watch him leave the room, and when he returns he's holding a whip in his hand. I let my head drop, not wanting go through what I know is about to happen.

"Wo fat listen to me please. He doesn't have want you want. Just let him go. Hurt me, please just hurt me."

It was so like steve to be like that. To want to take the hit, the fall. To want to put himself in harm's way to protect others. But I knew that wasn't going to be the case. I knew that the pain I was about to go through would be mine and mine alone.

Wo fat positions himself.

"Oh God" I start to say. Wo fat brings the whip down across my lower back, the pain is sharp and sudden, a blinding sting that vibrates down my back and into my legs. I can't even let out a scream before another slash crosses my back, this time across my left shoulder blade. I can feel blood start to drip down my back. Wo fat doesn't stop. Each slash cuts deep into my skin, all carefully calculated, so that they don't hit the same spot but rather all over my back. The pain is so excruciating that my legs give way and I go limp. Wo fat splashes me with another bucket of water.

"Steve?" I say in desperation

"Danny?"

"Steve, It hurts, it hurts so much. Oh God it hurts." Another slash crosses my back, this time its right down the spine. Again. Steve looks away, simply unable to watch the pain I'm in.

"You know what?" Wo fat says "Maybe you don't know, maybe you really are clueless. Or maybe, well maybe I need to take it a step further"

With that, Wo fat pulls out a gun and presses the barel to my temple. I close my eyes.

"No!" Steve screams.

Bang.

11 notes · View notes

mermaidsirennikita · 5 years

Text

January 2019 Book Roundup

New year, new reading challenge, etc. After a decidedly bad start, I found 1) a very fun, very Gothic thriller 2) a sad but well-written YA contemporary about toxic friendships and 3) a fun Holly Black sequel. Not a total loss, then! My favorite book of the month, all things considered, was really probably Holly Black’s The Wicked King--if largely because the ending was exactly what it should have been. On to February! I’ll try to read a bit more romance that month, juuust to rub my own single-ness in a bit more.

Lie to Me by J.T. Ellison. 1/5. Ethan and Sutton seem like they have it all--he’s a famous author, even if he has been struggling with writer’s block for years; she’s a successful romance novelist, though her recent run-in with a nasty reviewer online has tarnished her reputation. Though they were shaken by the loss of their baby, they seem to be getting it together. Until Sutton goes missing, with a note to Ethan warning him to avoid looking for her. I won’t say much more, because you can probably guess the plot here, save for some twists that weren’t really twists because they were only there to shock and made very little sense. This book ripped off Gone Girl to a degree that wasn’t so much capitalizing on the domestic thriller craze as it was literally ripping off Gone Girl. This was just kind of stupid.

Luna and the Lie by Mariana Zapata. 2/5. Luna works at an auto shop, and has for years, while supporting her younger sisters. One of her bosses has become a father figure to her; the other, Ripley (or “Rip”) is the bane of her existence. However, when Luna is invited to her grandmother’s funeral, she is concerned about coming into contact with her estranged family again. In a bid to stay protected, she asks Rip to accompany her--which leads to her keeping a secret for him. Honestly, I don’t even feel like I can properly give this a review because it just kind of bounced off of me. I don’t mind a simple, even kind of dumb plot as long as I’m enjoying myself, and I just wasn’t here. But someone else might! A Zapata book’s enjoyability, I’ve learned, lives and dies on whether or not you’re into the male lead. Rip was like...................... the opposite of my type. So it didn’t work for me.

The Au Pair by Emma Rous. 4/5. On the day that Seraphine and her twin brother, Danny, were born, their mother Ruth flung herself from the cliffs outside their ancestral home of Summerbourne. Shortly after the death of their father twenty-five years later, Seraphine discovers a photo taken on the day of her birth, before Ruth died--but in it, Ruth is holding only one baby. Increasingly obsessed with the truth behind her past, Seraphine seeks out Laura, the au pair employed by her parents before the twins were born. But the more Laura avoids her, the clearer it becomes that what happened that day at Summerbourne may be worse than Seraphine imagined. This book is ALL about the atmosphere. It’s got a Gothic vibe, with the characters’ obsession with family and Summerbourne adding this super creepy edge to everything. I can’t say that the plot is especially fantastic--I did see the ending coming, and I can’t say that much here was super revolutionary. But the tone? A+.

The Wicked King by Holly Black. 4/5. In the sequel to The Cruel Prince, Jude has now had control of Cardan, the new High King, for five months. This makes her the true power behind the throne--but her relationship with Cardan is not an easy alliance. Struggling with her attraction to Cardan, Jude is warned that someone close to her is a traitor; and in order to keep her power, she must uncover that person’s identity as soon as possible. This book was so dependent on the love-hate dynamic between Jude and Cardan working. And oh, it does. The tension between them simmers. Their dynamic is easily the most compelling part of the book. And the rest is good, too--I’m not one of those people that thinks Black has reinvented the wheel regarding the fairy thing in YA... because she hasn’t. But this was *fun*, and I enjoyed it. I could do without some of the cringey aspects of Black’s fairies (I refuse to call them faeries). Overall, however, I’m really excited for the next book--the ending really sealed this one.

White Stag by Kara Barbieri. 2/5. Janneke has lived in servitude to the goblin Soren for nearly a century, given to him by his wicked uncle, Lydian. Just as she realizes that her humanity is slowly eroding, the Erlking dies, leaving a power vacuum. Determined to keep Lydian from ascending to the throne, Janneke joins Soren in the hunt for the White Stag--the future king’s source of power--and along the way struggles with coming to terms with both her past trauma and her uncertain future. This book has a great premise, but is bogged down by a lack of worldbuilding and slow pacing. It just couldn’t keep my attention, despite the fact that I am an admitted sucker for sexy goblin books (HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEE). Furthermore, although I appreciated Janneke’s trauma and the fact that she still hadn’t come to terms with it, something about the way it was handled felt rather clumsy? Well-intended and not exploitative, but... yes, clumsy. I wouldn’t be against trying something else by Barbieri as I think she has potential, but the pacing ultimately killed a lot of my interest in this one.

Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon. 4/5. Sophie and Peter have been best friends since childhood; and Peter has been sick the whole time. Now that she’s turned eighteen, Sophie is donating her kidney to Peter; and she secretly hopes that this will be the catalyst for the change in their relationship that she’s long wanted. But after the transplant, Peter is different--he’s free for the first time in his life. Free to pursue new interests, a life separate from Sophie--and Chase, a boy he likes. As Sophie and Peter grow apart--both struggling with guilt and gratitude--they find themselves forced to define a relationship that may be growing toxic. First off, I love the way that Solomon writes her characters. They’re so real and flawed and sometime straight-up assholes. I also love that Peter is bi and this is just kind of a part of him--but a part he’s never really been able to explore, due to his illness. There’s a lot at play here, and neither Sophie nor Peter get a villain edit, which is refreshing. They just... are incredibly codependent. And there is a good deal of attraction going on there, which adds to the complexity of what they’re dealing with. And really, neither of them have ever had anyone else to lean on outside of family. This book is basically just digging in to Sophie and Peter’s relationship; outside of that, there isn’t too much plot. But that? Is really good. Is it quite as good as Solomon’s debut, “You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone”? Not really. But God, she’s a breath of fresh air in YA contemporary.

Echo North by Joanna Ruth Meyer. 3/5. After hardship debilitates his family, Echo’s father journeys out to sell his wares. Echo finds him lost in the woods, at the mercy of the very same wolf that scarred her years before. The wolf gives Echo an offer: if she spends a year in his home, her father will be set free. Taking the deal, Echo finds herself in an ever-changing house full of living books and secret rooms, with the wolf as her constant companion. He sleeps in her room at night, with only one rule: she must never light the candle to look at him in the dark. As you can imagine, this is an “East of the Sun, West of the Moon” retelling. And there were so many things I loved about it. The writing style is super pretty, exactly what you’d want from a fairy tale. Furthermore, Meyer plays with some really interesting concepts that I hadn’t seen before. But... I never was as emotionally attached as I wanted to be. Nothing really surprised me. I’d like to see what she does next, but I do think she needs to work a bit on character development and emotional intensity.

#book roundup #reading roundup #books #book recs

4 notes · View notes

cheechdog1 · 3 years

Text

Pyro-Illusion Incorrect Quotes: Danny Gonzalez Edition

Roxy: 🎶Trough the windoooow!🎶 Triffor: 🎶Through the wall!🎶 Truddy, Confused: Through the door? - Vanny: (Searching for Roxy) Roxy: (Hiding Somewhere) Vanny: Reeed Robin. Roxy: Yum! Roxy: OH NO OH GOD AAAAAAA- - Roxy, to a random person: Hey, can I rip open your stomach and pull out your kidneys?

#pyro illusion #pi incorrect quotes #danny gonzalez #pain

0 notes

mylittlefandomfanfictions · 7 years

Text

Steve McGarrett - Ku I Ka Pili Koko

Steve and Danny get trapped in the rubble after the explosion and it becomes a race against time to get them out, especially with Danny struggling to survive. Steve has always liked you, but he’s never told you. Now, while he’s trapped with Danny, he vows to tell you how he feels if he makes it out alive.

Requested by: @lizwinchester16

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Characters: Reader, Steve McGarret, Danny “Danno” Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua, Lou Grover. Max Bergman, Amber Vitale, Grace Williams, Jason Decker, Marcus Decker, and Spider (Mentioned)

Warnings: Mentions of explosions and injuries (I think that’s it)

A/N: The title translates to Blood Brothers. It’s based on the season 4 episode of the same name.

A/N/N: Thank you to @mo320 for being my beta!

God, you couldn't believe this was happening. The tip off about the untraceable weapons had been false. You had come here because Jason Decker, a man you and the Five-0 team had out in prison, had given you the information. He had given Danny and Steve the information in exchange for a deal. He wanted to be moved to minimum security facility and have his sentence cut in half. You all thought he'd just given you a bad tip. However, that wasn't the worst of it. Danny and Steve hadn't left with the rest of you. They'd stayed in there and then the building exploded. Now they were trapped.

According to what Steve had told you over the phone, he and Danny had heard a ringing sound as they were about to leave and when they checked it out, they had found a man tied to a chair. Once they'd untied him, the only word the man said was, “Bomb.” Then, the building exploded.

You only found out that they were down there because you'd heard them banging on things to get your attention. They were in the maintenance room on the south side of the garage. However, the entire building is unsteady and you all knew that another cave-in was possible.

Danny had been injured during the cave-in and was now struggling to survive. It was a race against time for you and the team to get them out of there.

They had found pills in the man's pocket and Max had informed you all that they were anticoagulants, but highly doubted that they were for a heart condition since the man looked healthy. So, he'd asked Steve to look for scarring from a surgery, perhaps gall bladder or kidney surgery. When Steve did find a scar, Max believed it was indicative of surgery within the last three months.

Meanwhile, Steve was trying to find something to temporarily patch up Danny's wound with. He had managed to find some duct tape and had ripped part of his own shirt off to make a makeshift bandage. “Just hang in there, buddy. You're going to be fine.”

“Are you sure about that? I'm injured, I'm claustrophobic, and I'm stuck down here with you. Not exactly my definition of fine,” Danny quipped, earning an eye-roll from Steve.

“I want to get out of here just as much as you do, buddy,” Steve told his friend as he finished patching Danny up. He'd have to get patched up properly when they got out of here. If they got out of here.

“So you can get back to Y/N and not tell them how you feel?” Danny lightly teased in a strained voice.

Steve breathed out a heavy sigh. Danny wasn't wrong. He'd liked Y/N for a while now, but had never told them how he felt. Now, he was trapped down here and he didn't know if he was going to get out. “I regret it, not telling them how I feel. I wish I'd plucked up the courage to them and now I might not get that chance.”

“Hey, woah, you just said we're getting out of here and now you're saying we might not. Don't scare me like that, Steven,” Danny scolded. “When we get out of here, you can tell Y/N how you feel.”

Steve was just about to say something when his phone started ringing. He pulled it out and saw that he had an incoming video call. He answered it and felt his heart do that cliché pitter-patter thing in his chest when he saw Y/N. “Hey,” he said as he held the phone in front of hid face so he and Danny were in the frame.

You gave Steve and Danny a small smile, but you couldn't help but focus on Steve a little more. You'd always had feelings for the Commander, but had never told him. He was your boss and you didn't want to make it weird. Besides, you didn't know if he felt the same way. So, you just kept your feelings to yourself. Well, kind of to yourself, the rest of the team knew, hell, even Lou knew and he'd only been around you a few times when you'd needed the SWAT's help, like today.

“Hey,” you said. “We're going to get you two out of there, okay. Danny, we have medics here who will look at you as soon as you get out of there. Chin and Kono went to see Decker at Halawa again, but they got nowhere. They pulled his visitor log and phone records. They've checked hospitals for records of gall bladder or kidney surgeries over the past three months. The first person on the list was Marcus Decker, Jason Decker's younger brother. He's our vic. It turns out that Jason has been working with the ATF for months, we believe someone's killed his younger brother for revenge. Chin and Kono have been to see Decker again and he said he got his information from a guy called Spider. He's a lifer so they thought he wouldn't talk, but Kono thought otherwise and got Decker and Spider in a cell alone together. Decker got the guy to talk. Apparently, Spider has paid Decker $5000 and promised him another 20 if he got us to come to the garage.”

Steve nodded and breathed out a frustrated sigh. “Alright, thanks for catching us up. Keep up the good work.”

Lou went over to Y/N, a slight smirk appearing on his face when he saw the way Y/N was looking at Steve. Those two were pining after each other and everyone knew it. “Hey, HPD need you to move 30 yards to your left. We might be able to get you out through the ventilator shaft.”

“Alright, we'll try that. Thanks, Lou,” Steve said.

“Grace, where's Grace? Is she okay? Does she know about this?” Danny asked.

“Danny, relax, she's fine. She's here and she's with Amber,” you told him. He seemed to relax at that.

“Y/N,” Steve started. “I need to tell you something. Just in case I don't get a chance to later.”

Your brows bumped together in a frown. You were worried, but you weren't about to let him tell you something that seemed to be important while he was trapped in a building. Nope, that would feel like he was saying goodbye. “Don't you talk like that. You're getting out of there, Commander. Whatever you have to tell me can wait until you get out of there.”

Danny coughed out a laugh. “That's you told,” he said, clapping Steve on the shoulder.

Steve grinned and nodded, “Alright, I'll wait.” He meant it. Right now, in this moment, he vowed to himself that he would tell Y/N how he felt as soon as he got out of here.

“Good. Now, get moving. The sooner we get you out of there, the better,” you told them both. You stayed on the call with them so you could help them if they needed it.

Steve and Danny tried to carefully maneuver 30 yards to get the ventilator shaft. However, the universe just didn't seem to be on his or Danny's side today and there was another cave-in and they lost cell contact with the outside. “Great,” Steve grumbled.

“Well, that's just fantastic. What do we do now?” Danny sighed out.

“I have an idea, you're probably not going to like it,” Steve told him.

“Then don't do it. If you know I'm not going to like it, don't do it,” Danny protested. “Don't do some idiotic thing that's going to kill us.”

“Would you just relax? It's not going to kill us. I'm going to use this grenade that I have on my belt and some pipe to blow a way out. It's an old Navy S.E.A.L trick,” Steve informed. “Just sit bak and let me do this.”

“Fine,” Danny grumbled, taking a seat on a nearby pile of rubble. He was clutching his abdomen just like he had been this whole time to keep his makeshift bandage together. “Hey, in case we don't make it out of this alive, I love you, man.”

Steve looked over his shoulder at Danny and smiled at him, “I love you too, buddy.”

You had panicked when you'd lost cell contact with them. You were pacing and taking deep breaths. It took Chin, Kono, and Lou to calm you down and reassure you that they were okay. You just had to pray that they were indeed okay. You heard an explosion panicked again. Until a firefighter announced that he could see Steve and Danny.

“Told you they'd be okay,” Chin said, squeezing Y/N's shoulder and smiling at them. Everyone knew how Y/N and Steve felt for each other and that was being majorly showcased today through their interactions with each other and their obvious worry about one another.

“You should tell him how you feel once he gets out, we all know he feels the same way,” Kono advised.

“I will, I'll tell him,” you replied. You watched as they lifted Danny from the wreckage. He was clearly in bad shape and you ran over so you could help him towards the ambulance. “Easy, Danno,” you said when you saw him looking around for Grace and Amber. “They're just there,” you added, pointing towards the two girls who were now quickly making their way towards you and Danny.

Grace and Amber thanked you for helping him and then they took over on taking him to the ambulance. Now you just had to wait for Steve to get out. You ran over to the space where Steve was being lifted from and you were filled with relief when you saw him. Bar the cuts and bruises on his face, he seemed to be okay.

The first person that Steve saw as he was being lifted from the wreckage was Y/N and he was filled with warmth. The second that he was back on solid ground and out of that harness, he went over to Y/N and just wrapped his arms around them. “I am so happy to see you,” he whispered.

You were quick to hug Steve back. You were just so happy he was safe. “I'm happy to see you too,” you whispered back. “We should get you to the ambulance so the medics can look at you,” you said, reluctantly pulling out of the hug.

“Okay, but I still need to talk to you,” Steve replied, allowing Y/N to take him over to the ambulance.

“I'm sure it can wait for a few more minutes,” you told him.

“Do you think they'll actually tell each other?” Chin asked.

“I hope so. He said he regretted not telling Y/N how he felt while we were down there,” Danny told them.

“From the way he hugged them I can only assume he'll say something and Y/N said they'd tell him how they feel. So, all we can do is hope that they finally say something,” Kono added.

“Even now while he's getting looked at by the medics he can't take his eyes off Y/N,” Lou commented.

As soon as Steve was done being looked at by the medics, he stood up from where he had been sat at the back of the ambulance and smiled at Y/N. Okay, he was feeling nervous now. He didn't know how to word this. He was scared of being rejected. This was someone he worked with and had fallen hard for. It would be so hard for him if he got rejected. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck nervously, his gaze falling to the floor where he shuffled his feet.

Danny, along with everyone else, watched Steve get all nervous. He just rolled his eyes. “Would you two just tell each other already?” he called out, making the others chuckle.

“Steve? Are you okay?” you asked, sending a glare at Danny for his comment before looking back at Steve. “What's, uh, what's this thing you need to tell me?” you asked, you were even more curious after what Danny had said.

Steve felt himself blush at Danny's comment and under Y/N's gentle and caring gaze as he looked up from the floor at them. “Um, I. There's something I've wanted to tell you for a while now,” he began. He took a deep breath, he had never been this nervous in his entire life. “Y/N, I like you. I fell for you a long time ago, but I was too scared of being rejected and ruining our friendship and making working together awkward. I guess it took a building blowing up around me and a near death experience for me to realize that I should've told you how I feel long before now,” he confessed. There, he'd done it. He's said it and it was out in the open.

You listened to him talk and felt your heart pounding in your chest. He felt that way as you did. After all of this time silently pining for him, you found out he felt the same and words couldn't even begin to describe how over the moon you were right now. You smiled brightly at him, you'd never smiled so brightly before. “I like you too, Steve,” you admitted.

Steve felt his heart grow to ten times its size and felt a wide grin appear on his face at Y/N's words. He also felt this weight being lifted from his shoulders. He couldn't quite believe this was happening. He wasted no time and wrapped one arm around Y/N's waist while his other hand cupped their cheek before he kissed them. He poured himself into it, keeping it pure and full of love.

You instantly returned Steve's kiss and wrapped your arms around the back of his neck. It was so much better than you had ever imagined. You and Steve only pulled away from each other when you heard your friends cheering and clapping. “Well, at least we know they're happy for us,” you said.

“Yeah, they've been trying to get me to tell you how I feel for a while now,” Steve laughed.

“They've been doing the same with me,” you chuckled before leaning forward and kissing him again.

Who knew that something so good could come out of almost losing someone so special to you.

Thoughts?

Tags: @capsheadquaters @bookem-sammy @yougottalovefandoms @izzy-obwan @mo320 @crybabymikaelson @star017 @schnusel @colleenmnx @raven--queen @pollaluci @winchestergirlspn

#hawaii five 0 #hawaii five 0 imagine #hawaii five 0 fanfiction #h50 #h50 imagine #h50 fanfiction #steve mcgarrett #steve mcgarrett imagine #steve mcgarrett fanfiction #steve mcgarrett x reader #danny williams #danny danno williams #chin ho kelly #kono kalakaua #lou grover #ku i ka pili koko

464 notes · View notes

dansiddons1-blog · 7 years

Text

Unedited one thought at a time...

I'm not happy... that night I was sleeping on my friends couch never to return to my bed. I decided then to take my life. What's happening oh the pain and I piss blood another kidney stone. Kim I need a ride to hospital I am having a kidney stone. The medicine calmed me for days without the medicine I would not be writing to you for I would have taken my life. Danny want to go to beaver dam...life as I knew changed for ever. I was raped on the trip to dam in a boat did I mention I was 5 years of age. A child force to become an adult to protect my father. I was told tell your father I will kill him. This story is about my life I will be jumping through a variety of topics. I will spell words incorrectly and not be grammatically correct. Why? Because I want it to be real as possible. Not some book that has been edited and rewritten in an editors words or some ghost writer. I will not even reread what I wrote. I want you to experience the thoughts of a mentally disabled person. I make no apologies for my writing don't care if you like it don't even have a plan outline or intention. Just my thoughts as I they fire away sometimes tormenting me others bring joy. I have never written a book and don't consider this to be a book more of my thoughts at real time on paper... that is enough for tonight my medicine is making me drowsy Time for bed but it is so hot and tomorrow...see how the thoughts never stop a flywheel in my head I want to rip out. Time to prepare myself for bed and shut the flywheel off for a few hour. Tomorrow I pray it doesn't come but as sure as the sun will rise I will to. Oh tomorrow please don't come allow me the pleasure of eternal rest. Let's see what thoughts I write tomorrow twitter trump terror ptsd happiness pain pleasure investing writing starting a business writing a paper see how fast they come and their range how can I use commas worry about spelling. If you are reading you can relate auto correct is off and my thoughts are now flying fast...BAM. Tried to save found a word counter that was word 406. I thought I was going to bed. So much to accomplish how can I retire to bed. Voices won't stop words are blurred from tears. No I won't edit it. Fine don't publish it I will keep it for myself but what about others Suffering what if they can relate like I do to other books of the mentally ill but you said you had no intent Now I do I want to save people create meetings like aa for mentally disabled. See reader how they just keep coming. Wow 498 words. How many thoughts did I miss what if I miss a good one. Good one Dan what are you trying to write. Goodnight for now 10:03pm 7/17. I must keep writing the curse of the flywheel. Maybe that will be the title. Maybe I should stay up a start a blog about what...anything you have read so much pick I topic a blog away. Folly. Still going need to put iPad down fuck them I won't change iPad I would rather it not published then to edit my thoughts...can you see how the thoughts go it is crazy. My name is Dan siddons and this is my life unedited one thought at a time. If you read this far keep reading and add you unedited thoughts along with mine and together we can all help ourselves. THE MENTALLY ILL Breakfast... What is this how you are treated in a mental crisis hospital ward? The walls are cold and old made of cider blocks. How Am I going to get better here. This is not what I thought. I am freezing so cold so cold The dining room is dirty writing on the walls oh but so great full to be here away from family. The pressure they we're applying put me here. How family misunderstands us. Back to my first Backer act at a different time Streaming videos is the future should I open a website and conquer digital content market. Why must my thoughts go towards winning? I don't like jobs I want to build a business a news platform. Streaming news...maybe I will call it TJN after my parents. Or should I post this book and see where it falls... I am off to program. Investing has always had a hold I me yet I have yet to invest funny ironic. To much debt and no money. Debt the mantra for the mentally disabled. We flush our lives away when illness flares up. The countless homes relationships money lost to this terrible illness. Most mentally ill do not know anything is wrong until homeless jobless or in jail. I though want to die was normal way to think. I was so very wrong the intangibles of mental illness is devastating. No one can see it I didn't even know until my break up with Kim see how my thoughts go back to the trauma that shattered my life...why? I want to gain control of thoughts but they are smarter than me. Back to Backer Act 1 does your family know the power of your depression. I begin crying... Panic attacks are incredibly painfully you cry want to die become paralyzed with fear. Those you have can relate. Backer Act 1 this is not the way to be treated. How can I get better here. Boot camp I can see but not a hospital. They tell me I don't want to kill my self. Oh how I want to snap his neck. Some suit I meat daily behind a desk. What does he know... or is he right oh well fuck you I am going to my room and don't call for me tomorrow suit. I glance at CNBC and see a golf course. I love golfing but STOPPED. why would I stop something I love. The plight of the mentally ill. Btw I am bouncing from Backer Act 1 to present time. Read on follow my crazy thoughts. No pattern just torture back and forth past to future impossible for me to stay in present. Oh god please help. That is how my life was before medicine. My name is Dan and those were how my thoughts controlled my before medicine... Ok back to thoughts No this is how the format needs to be. No structure like how my life was. If you edit it you write it put your name on it but no one will read you are not mentally disabled. My thoughts as they happen. My name is dan I am mentally ill and want to share what I went through. 1 thought at a time before medicine before medicine before medicine b4 medicine. Read on dear reader and add your thoughts with mine to help us the mentally ill Fast forward to present day I am stabilized with the help from doctors and medicine. Without medicine I would have taken my life. Take medicine dear reader or seek help if your thoughts are how mine used to be. Yes I can write properly but why? I am no author. I am only a man writing maybe I will keep this or erase it but edit I will not. My name is dan here are more thoughts as I turn off and let flywheel spin. My life as a mentally ill person one thought at a time. Fast so fast I can barely write them Did I mention... no I will save it for another time Fast Fast Fast Faster If only I could connect brain to iPad can you imagine. It would never make sense. But to you dear reader you know how they thoughts can be. I can STOP right now and you will now my next words because our thoughts consume us control us kill US. please pick up phone and call for help I did. Tom it's dan I am about to do something stupid... Danny you are my brother and I love you. The beginning of getting help. I am on a plane heading to Miami hoping plane crashes so I can die. So let me begin my story of getting help... As the plane is taxing to the gate I am wondering who will pick me up or will I take a taxi? A text from my brother John is waiting for me. We imbrace in a hug and the tears begin to flow something I have been doing lately and will continue for the next few months. Tears tears tears. Driving to his house he questions me about using drugs and if I continue I am not welcome at his home. He searches my bag. Drugs? I don't use drugs what is going on what did I get myself involved here... Back to the thoughts the flywheel of my youth. I am no go worthless. I failed first grade almost failed a second time out of fear of being raped I faked sick and stayed how. I was sick mentally sick but no one knew I didn't even know. So I dive into reading and sports. I know everything in sports. My dad brings home a Nintendo we love it. I spend hours to escape from the thoughts. I am the neighbor hood Tecmobool champion. I stop writing for today. This is boring not convening anything. My reader I apologize. I refuse to edit or start again. I want this to be me dan siddons one thought at a time. I slept in today may my depression is about to pick up and I have no desire to continue to write as of now. You relate and please accept my apologies. I am crying because I am providing no content. I STOP....wandering if I will continue? Only time will tell. Dan siddons my existence one thought at a time. I am continuing writing I can't stop but nothing is making sense. Maybe that is good because when the thoughts get going do they make sense? Dear reader relate don't give up on me I need you right now. We need to unite to help the others suffering. See my thoughts are of helping building. Why can't I be normal get a job pay my dues retire and wait to be called home? But I am constantly driving I read many books a month I build a website just to get followers then close it. Fear no. Competition I win I am better I dive in kill the opposition then STOP. To begin a something new. My fellow reader I know you do the same. WHY? Mental illness is fickle. Isn't it. We build then flush. Build then flush. And the process repeats... Now the thoughts are flying. I said I was done for the day but the drive keeps me typing. Making sense no and yes. Read into the thoughts my new friend. They are all over. Run on sentences. Crazy punctuation. Isn't that how your mind goes when you let it. So maybe it is making sense. Either way I don't care. I am writing unfiltered unedited as they come. Not a journey not a book. Not anything just words. Maybe one writing I will be deep rich with meaning maybe not. Maybe I will erase like I do everything in my life. I have never put words on paper. As you can tell. Haha. I make no apologies I am not an author. I am dan siddons unedited unapologetic. A mentally disabled man sharing his life and thoughts. Will I provide advice no never I can't I don't know what you dear reader or going through. As I write I realized earlier I said pick up phone. I take that back. Do what you will. If your life has been like mine you consider dying as a pleasure not a loss. When things are good in the back of you mind we we know that pain will come back. I was hospitalized for 2 years maybe I will tell of that maybe not. See just my thoughts. I make no apologies for my jumping. Beginning I was going to share my beginning of getting help. Then I said I was done for the day and I am stil typing fast fast fast. Now I can't Stop. I know I am not making sense but to you dear reader I am for you go through same process. Why bring up hospital and not share that experience. Why you ask editor because I don't want to. This is raw my thoughts as there come Break in point dear reader I found skills to control thoughts but not to control my desire to die. I can write this correctly. In a more of a story form but that is not how are life works when the illness kicks in and takes over. So I will continue to write one thought at a time as I ALLOW them to come through. See allow. I have control of the thoughts. But that's a boring tale written by many. Accept for know my style for someday I may writ correctly to show I can but why? I want this raw my thoughts unfiltered unapologetic I am who I am. Yes I have written papers on investments this is not the place for that. Forgive and read and see how I let the thoughts to TORTURE me. Dan If loved ones are reading. You are my reason for writing and also the reason of this chaos. Chaos your loved one is going through or went through. The thoughts are fast and uncontrollable and torturing. Why didn't I put this in the beginning because. A point needs to be made here right NOW: rember no outline no plan. Yes the statement is contradicting I know because I am sounding like there is a plan. The thought hit me now to address you the loved one of the mentally ill. And I will not edit or replace to fit better or read better. So I guess I do have a plan. It is a plan of the Chaos of our the mentally ill thoughts. So again I make no apologies for my mistakes in English writing style. It needs to be this way because our thoughts are not fair they just come drive some to kill them I want to make a serious thought out statement. To the loved ones please I plead with you to learn about the illness of your suffer. Why? During a moment of irrational thought people of every make and model have taken their life's. Think with me for a brief moment. Jumping out a window or off a building or cliff to stop the pain yet knowing their life will not continue is counter intuitive. Evolution has not remedied this epidemic of suicide. To many are taking their lives because of unacceptance from loved ones. You loved one are our heroes... My fellow reader how is your Day? Tell me. Email me. [email protected] Let's come together and begin a crusade to help US the mentally disabled. Idk maybe a blog maybe a channel... suggestions? I will share a little story of being in the South Florida State Mentally Hospital. People are walking around like a college dorm. Are they comfortable here? I wasn't but then I ecame like them comfortable a shift happened. Funny but I enjoyed being there. I took advantage of all the help I could get. I had two of the BEST doctors. I was very fortunate for them. I thought I was going to be there for years. I feel in love with jumping in front of a train while being in jail. In jail without medicine. Did I mention I was arrested. I'll come back to that at a different time. That is all for now about the hospital. Today would be great if I went away called home by god. God allow me to live today according to your will. A prayer I repeat throughout my day. As much as I can write about mentally illness. I won't that would be boring and many have. I will continue one thought at a time. Read fast read fast. You know the thoughts they fire and they are off to the races. Maybe I will end here. Keep only for me. That can be good or bad. Only time will tell. Time. Man made and it controls us. Folly. Leave time for others let's get better together Should I just unleash the thoughts... Can you handle them. I know you can but your thoughts are hard to handle they just come and won't stop. I remember how draining they were. Some days I just selt from the mentally anguish of the thoughts. Other times I would not sleep for days. Manic maybe. I don't like this session forgive me please. Raw my thoughts should I... no lets keep these ones to me. I hated school did you? But I love to learn. I have a desire for knowledge and a willingness to earn it. Do you? What is your addiction? What drives you? Learning drives me I read I read I read I read I read I read... I currently live in a group home crazy. I started with hospital then school now living. situation make sense? Yes to us the mentally ill. The thought come in all different angles. Funny right I will have to self publish for no publisher can understand this book. But you dear reader you can I feel it. Your thoughts go and drive you MAD!!!!!! The pain? Go through it. It makes you stronger. The mantra of those who never experienced mental pain. Look at the sunshine. Fuck off. You look at it leave me the fuck alone. Be grateful of life. Fuck off I am getting serious. Walk away. Some dip shit tech in the hospital that sits on her ass all day. You don't know my pain because you sat in a training that you didn't pay attention TO!! I was just sucker punched... as I come to refocused my arms are protecting my head. As a good at him blood everywhere I thought my ear fell off. Tech graphs him. I want to knock him into another world. I walk away put my fist through the wall one of many times. I press charges police tell me I was hit 32 times fell over bench got up procecting my head. Nothing happens for 3 weeks we walk by on another. Should I snap his neck break his arm kill him... I do nothing for 3 fucking weeks I restrained myself. I am told they are moving me to another unit. Dead focus glare at doctor I say nothing. She is uncomfortable with my stare Minutes pass... Dan Dan Daniel I hate that name. What? I am not moving to another unit. She tells me to call my father. 3 hours later Cory is moved to another unit. Sad pissed off I had to have my father call to get him moved. Another hole in the wall. I was attacked 18 times fought back once. Here is why. I will come back at different time to explain not ready yet... Let's laugh at my writing style hahaha. My fellow reader. This is how it must be RAW Scattered like our lives thoughts actions feelings emotions relationships jobs... Why write any other way. I am writing to you. I feel your thoughts I know them. I went through them. Not so much these days. MEDICINE. Thank you GOD for my medicine. My name is dan siddons I have a mental illness and I am happy to share about it. The release feels so good. What take medicine away?! Ok prepare a funeral because I Refuse to go through that inner pain again. I am not happy she says with tear falling down her beautiful face. 6 month pass I cry a lot many times during the day. My friend did you cry do you cry now. I start drinking heavy to kill the pain. From morning until bed I consume alcohol Was not a drinker. Will I become one? Idk just want the pain to subside and feel relief. Present day I don't drink MEDICINE has given me life purpose direction. Not every day is good. But those pre med days I don't know how I didn't kill my self. My bedroom in Chris's house had a gun. Why I never used it I can't answer. I think the booze worked. Where should we go know? I stop writing but my drive continues to type. You fellow reader the thoughts drive you made. Family? They don't understand me. Friends I have none. Girlfriend? They hear of my past and run Run run My name is dan siddons I am not an author I am a man who suffers from a mental disability and I am sharing my life to you one thought at a time as they enter and as I remember them. Dan Dan dan I continue writing no I will stop but I can't my drive won't allow me. Dear reader the thoughts are consuming aren't they? Don't they ever tire. Their energy is incredible they even enter our dreams. Stop stop stop coping skills. I will spend the whole day replacing them. So I take medicine for quality of life Quality Of Life Yes!!! If you don't like it fuck off I will find a publisher See I as I write I am have an imaginary argument with a publisher. Oh how fun and fickle this life is. Why won't it end? My drive thoughts say I am here to impact. Impact I can't even get out of bed. How am I supposed to impact? Any sane person would have me hospitalized after reading only a few sentences But they don't understand mental illness I don't understand it. How can "they" Embrace this style write your own In your own way We will come together a help us the mentally disabled bam bam bam. The thoughts bouncing off my skull. Oh my friend I pray for you to get better. Is there a getting better or just surviving this terrible illness. Fuck it right yes FUCK IT!!!!

1 note · View note