#*John Mulaney voice* this is the same joke twice

[eyk-hetaart]

lord forgive me, I thought of another dialect joke

#hetalia #aph #hws #aph austria #hws austria #aph prussia #hws prussia #aph Bavaria #Bavaria and Saxony have canon designs! #John mulaney voice: what that’s the same joke twice #comic

[iirulancorrino]

I’m being pretty harsh on a book that I binge-read in like a day and a half but my feelings on The Candy House are basically *John Mulaney voice* What? That’s the same joke twice!

Like, I don’t think you deserve to get a bunch of awards for a book that’s basically just a redux of your earlier wildly popular book by using the exact same conceit/narrative format and the exact same expanded cast of characters. I know this one was supposed to say a lot of profound things about technology and stuff, but I didn’t really take much away from it. I thought Goon Squad had some meaningful things to say about grief and memory and art and I didn’t feel like The Candy House added anything to the conversation. At the end, reading it felt like, well, candy--enjoyable but empty.

#what I'm reading #jennifer egan

[brooklyn-alley-ratcat]

How did u meet ur roommates? Did u get along immediately or did it take time to get used to each other?

Well, anon, it’s kind of a long story. You see, I didn’t know my roommates even a month before moving in with them!

I originally was going to room with three girls I knew from my high school that I was not exactly “besties” with but we were close enough that we could tolerate living together. Until, of course, they met another girl they liked better through a church camp down in the college town over the summer, that I didn’t go to because I’m not religious, and they signed a lease behind my back with her. So, I get a text about 5 weeks before classes start that they “no longer have space for me” and “wish me the best finding other roommates and another place!”

Fast forward about a week and a girl met a mutual friend, that wasn’t going to the same college, I had made that thought we could be friends. This roommate originally wasn’t going to come to my college but her family kept repeating that they “were so glad she made the right choice” to go to the rival college. Well, she had a falling out with them and switched acceptance to our college now. I get a random call from a Wisconsin number on a Wednesday afternoon and something told me to answer instead of just letting it ring. I pick up and she explains herself and wants to know if we can be friends/study partners. We end up talking for about 4 hours and then again the next day and the next. Eventually she tells me she’s visiting her aunt in Alabama that is in a town about 25 minutes from my own hometown. So we meet up in person for lunch and just hit it off. I asked if she had a place to stay and she didn’t so we looked at college apartments together and figured everything out. Which then leads into us being like “hey, what about a third roommate to make things cheaper?”

The apartment we looked at and signed a lease for had “roommate matching” which is kind of like Tinder for roommates. We jokingly made an account that combined both of our names instead of two separate ones, our bio said something like “be ready for John Mulaney quotes and weird memes”. Out of 48 other people on there, one person reached back out to us. She was older than us by at least 3 years (she’s a transfer student to our college for her last two years of her bachelor’s) but we made a group chat with her despite our parents kind of wanting us all to be freshman and we all just clicked. We all had different majors and hobbies but we still found things to talk about and when we knew one person was excited about something we took time to ask questions and understand their love of that. We talked about Warped Tour and how we watched Hannah Montana and Kim Possible as kids. So we got our third roommate and since then we have been a trio.

I won’t lie, it takes some time to get used to each other in person instead of just over text. The first month living together wasn’t perfect because we all were raised differently and had little quirks we had about cleaning, organizing, laundry, cooking and other things. But by mid September it was pretty smooth sailing.

We aren’t perfect by a long shot but we have dinner together twice a week, play MarioKart after a stressful week, joke about getting a divorce over silly simple things, and have cuddle piles every once in a while. We’ve all cried on each other’s shoulder and cheered louder than anyone else at one another’s triumphs. Hell, we went to Florida for spring break to a amusement park and water park and we came back lobster red but we all helped each other out on aloe vera because none of us remember to put on any of the three different types of sunscreen we brought among all the fun we were having.

My advice for roommates: there is no such thing as a “perfect one” but you can get pretty close by allowing yourself to be open to people you never thought possible to meet.

And if you see a problem, voice it to them in a gentle way because it’s better to let your feelings known than for them to fester until you start to build a wall between each other. Trust me, I’ve seen some best friends of 7 years be roommates and end up hating each other by the end.

If you have any other questions, I am always more than willing to share any knowledge or experience I have :)

#anon answered #hope this answers everything anon! #adventures of a first generation college student #college roommates #basically the three musketeers #trio friendships >>>>>> duo friendships #strangers to friends #strangers to lifelong sisters #college roommate #college apartment #ask me anything #hannah montana #college life #college #auburn university #brooklyn rants

[handlewithcharacter]

Hallmark has officially released their list of movies and premiere dates for Countdown to Christmas and Miracles of Christmas and folks, I have a few takeaways:

The lack of puns in titles this year is horrific (is it a casualty of the strike or was morale just really low with the executive turnover and no one wanted to have fun as a result?), but the Best Title Award goes to Never Been Chris’d, about best friends who go back to their hometown for Christmas and end up in a love triangle with the boy they both had a crush on in high school. Or person - the description does not give Chris pronouns and the love triangle is described as "complex." Color me intrigued (UPDATE: RIP to this theory - EW confirms that Chris will be played by Tyler Hines. For additional notes, see comment 13).

There are two different movies based on Julia Roberts romcoms, Mystic Christmas and Christmas in Notting Hill and I'm not opposed but they already had a Hallmark movie loosely based on Notting Hill so I'm just saying [John Mulaney voice], "hey, that's the same joke twice!" Also, this sets precedent for the Movies & Mysteries movie Ms. Christmas Comes to Town (about a woman with a terminal diagnosis) to give Stepmom vibes, so uh, we'd better watch out.

There's a lot of movies about friend groups and best friends this year, but the one where the best friends are "Lori Jo" and "Tori" and they go on a roadtrip to "Yuletide Springs" sounds like a late night tv host pitched it as a joke and someone accidentally took it seriously.

TWO different movies about unexpected detours to a remote island during Christmastime and neither of them is called The Island of Misfit Toys.

The screenwriter for A Heidelberg Holiday really couldn't come up with a better name for the main character than Heidi Heidelberg? What, did they lose a bet?

A Merry Scottish Christmas completely missed the opportunity to be called Make the Yuletide Gaelic and I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Holiday Hotline is about a cooking hotline, but the anonymous caller is apparently named "John" so you will not be able to convince me that at least one of the drafts wasn't original pitched to a streaming service and about phone sex.

I can't tell if I like Catch Me If You Claus as a movie title because it at least tried for a pun, or if I hate it because it really did make the least amount of effort possible there. Plus, the premise of "news reporter has to figure out if Santa is real" is already the plot of a movie I came up with but haven’t written that I titled Santa Maybe and so clearly I can do better.

Holiday Road sounds like it has the potential to have some real Unaccompanied Minors level shenanigans but with grown ups and I’m here for it so long as a) at least one or two of these myriad characters is celebrating something other than Christmas and b) the “enigmatic woman” is a lesbian. Enigmatic women are so much more fun when they're lesbians.

I’m genuinely so excited for A Biltmore Christmas. Full stop. That is all.

A Not So Royal Christmas, in which a royal family has a groundskeeper pretend to be a Count, absolutely could have and should have been reworked into a Halloween movie, or at the very least have had the decency to have been called Count Down To Christmas.

TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP -

Every time I think there will be lesbians based on a description in the Hallmark app, I am proven wrong, but Friends & Family Christmas with a group of artists in New York has me breaking out the eyes emojis. (Variety confirmed the two female leads are in fact fake dating and I'm practically vibrating with excitement but also I can think of at least two ways that actually turns out to be straight so I'm desperately trying not to get my hopes up until I hear more.)

I said last year that when they inevitably make Time for Her to Come Home for Christmas it should be about some lesbians and (see comment 13) not only is it not an lgbtq+ movie, but it’s about church choir with a dash of military propaganda thrown in, which might sound exactly right for a movie made by Country Music People(tm) but might also sound like it was designed to spite me, personally.

It's interesting how many movies this year are based on true events. It's nice - the last few years have been kind of crappy, globally, to say the least, and true stories of the magic of the holidays might be just what the doctor ordered.

#hallmark #hallmark channel #things i did instead of my incredibly long to-do list because i am overwhelmed and exhausted #but in a month it will be Christmas movie season and all will be a little bit better

[luobingmeis]

“i could fix him” well i blast him- i’m already blasting him

#*john mulaney voice* hey that's the same joke twice #taz balance #barry bluejeans #taako #(u know from that part in stolen century)

[ahalfofoneforbreakfast]

tma and woe.begone are VERY different horror podcasts but they have a surprising amount in common, like:

the protagonist keeps getting grievously injured in his quest for terrible knowledge

all the women are more competent but no less unhinged

everybody is named michael

#john mulaney voice THAT'S THE SAME JOKE TWICE #it's called workshopping #woe.begone #w.bg #the magnus archives

[aeruh]

help

#*john mulaney voice* #that’s the same joke twice! #ni no kuni 2 #ni no kuni

[podcast-hoard]

next ethersea episode starts with the repercussions of the spore spreading and there’s just a bunch of these running around

#ja’am #*john mulaney voice* that’s the same joke twice #taz #taz ethersea #taz ethersea spoilers

[anthonycrowley]

the babygirlification of blackbeard

#john mulaney voice hey that’s the same joke twice #text #my post #mobi #show:our flag means death #i’m sorry i needed to say it again. they literally made blackbeard my babygirl

[angelsamericana]

bi couch ikea handprints because a handprint is all dean had left

not content with one homophobically gay handprint, the makers of supernatural decided to

#john mulaney voice that's the same joke twice #a

[castiels-pussy]

wow so true king.....

#John Mulaney voice well that's just the same joke twice

[madcom-stuff-of-interest]

managed to scribble up some info for MCVRAI, here’s some ideas for who’s who!

full disclosure: half the logic is “if it’s funny, i’m doing it” and the other half is “does it at least fit if you squint at it?”

(i may do a proper breakdown later but for now j. just take it. my brain is mush)

#my post #my art #madness combat #hlvrai #*john mulaney voice* what?? that's the same joke twice!! #but anyways i was seriously sitting and tossing up where to put everyone cause before considering darnold i'd basically hit character limit #and then after that the mood was 'well shit what am i gonna do now?? someone's gotta fit benry's spot-' #and then came my brain's thought of 'hey what if tricky was benry' #and i tossed that up for a bit before realizing that if you say 'fuck it' and don't give a shit about timelines it actually really works? #tricky fits that sort of role FLAWLESSLY and now i can be heehee hoohoo funny twice over #(also let's be honest: from an in-universe perspective when has tricky ever given a shit about how much sense shit makes?) #(and it does give me ideas for if i decide to include some sense of logic behind how and why the fuck!) #(i mean none of it's real right? :3c?) #madcom tricky #madcom hank #madcom hofnarr #madcom deimos #madcom sanford #madcom 2bd #madcom jesus #madcom auditor #(also before anyone asks: if i can avoid including the sheriff seriously then no he's not invited) #(he's going to at best be a victim of bullshit)

[greatkateweathermachine]

midnight club excluding reggie and dilton’s dads cause i don’t care about them

#me and levi posting our edits within a day of each other is like #*john mulaney voice* what? that's the same joke twice #riverdale #kate's bad takes

[fuckspn]

last night i dreamt jared padalecki removed my eyeballs again

#john mulaney voice and you're like what? that's the same joke twice

[jensenshole]

is now a bad time to bring up misha’s “i like a good p&bj” tweet or the multiple posts of him in the bathroom that he himself posted or the stories of him......

#john mulaney voice that's the same joke twice #anon #answered

[soup-is-here]

Wait!

You're nun binuey?! That's so fuckign cool!

#john mulaney voice *hey that's the same joke twice* #I know this is the same joke twice but like y'all get it #unus annus #unusannusisoverparty