#7m baby

[nicohischier]

they’re so insane

#7m curse who? i only know 9.6m views in 10 hours #not hockey #kpop tag #txt you are sooooo sexy this cb you’re breaking all your records baby mwah #crowns 15m record? srr is coming for you baby

[chrisevansonly]

𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐩𝐭2 | 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬

᪥social media au

᪥mclaren wasn’t joking when they said they’d get you one of your own

᪥a little part two to this post, after seeing a comment about it i couldn’t resist

y/n’sinsta

liked by mclaren, F1, landonorris, lilyhme and 9M others

they really were not messing around, thank you so much @/mclaren for my beautiful new car!!! i genuinely did not think they were being serious but now lando and i match🥹🤍

tagged mclaren, landonorris

view 20,000 comments

username holy shit they actually did it..

username IM OBSESSED WITH THE BLUE

lilyhme so i assume you’re picking me up?

>y/n’sinsta on my way as we speak

mclaren we’re glad you love it! we may have had some colour inspiration from mr.norris himself! enjoy the car!🩵

>y/n’sinsta i love it so much 🥹

username WHEN IS IT MY TURN

landonorris don’t crash it ❤️

>y/n’sinsta that’s rude 😒

landonorris you’re gonna look so beautiful in that car baby, i’ll still win though

liked by y/n’sinsta

landonorris

liked by y/n’sinsta, danielriccardo, mclaren and 7M others

this was the exact moment @/y/n’sinsta found out mclaren was going to give her, her very own 600LT. i’m happy to be apart of this surprise for her, she’s one of the most deserving people i know…maybe now she can keep up with me 😉

ps. you’re still irreplaceable ❤️

tagged y/n’sinsta

view 15,000 comments

username CRYING SCREAMING

username drinking bleach sounds really good right now

mclaren🧡🩵

y/n’sinsta HA HA you’re so funny I can always keep up

liked by landonorris

y/n’sinsta i love you my darling, thank you for one of the best surprises ever ❤️🥹

username 😭😭😭

danielriccardo hmm why didn’t i get a blue one?

>y/n’sinsta cause you’re not cool😌

y/n’sinsta added to their story!

y/n’sinsta

liked by wagsofF1, landonorris, maxfewtrell and 5M others

forever my lover, thank you for making me so happy and loving me so fiercely, my heart is yours❤️❤️

tagged landonorris

maxfewtrell too much love, feeling nauseous

>landonorris mhm SURE mate

username nope, not today…CANT DO THIS TODAY

username i didn’t ask to cry and feel all warm and fuzzy at the same time

landonorris you’ve got all my heart forever baby❤️❤️

>danielriccardo you’ve got mine

>pierregasly y/n’s back to being a third wheel

>y/n’sinsta i’ll steal kika from you don’t try me 🤨

username pierre better watch out 💀💀

username i wonder who’s next for a mclaren, not me 😃

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #lando norris fake instagram #lando norris fake social media #lando norris x female reader #lando norris x fem!reader #lando norris x girlfriend reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris social media au #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando x reader #lando norris #mclaren f1 #formula 1 #formula 1 masterlist

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (2) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n more unserious behaviour

masterlist | last part | part 2 | next part

TWITTER

kayla @luna_apocolyse · 42m oomf... i fear you have girlbossed too close to the sun with this one

↳ MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 31m nothing comedic about it i was PRAYING actually

lila💚 @kasdanrights · 23m OOMF YOU SHOULD CHECK LINA'S STORY 😭😭😭 ↳ li(n)a @meliabelrose · 19m I ACTUALLY CAN'T WITH THIS UNSERIOUS WOMAN

INSTAGRAM

selinabui just posted to their story

TWITTER

MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 3m THAT'S SUCH A DEEPCUT TWEET ADFJSDF is she stalking me or smth AND THAT FUCKASS FONT PLS LINA I BEG YOU TO USE ANOTHER FONT and she tagged his ass as well ↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 3m thanks bestie we finally got the rest of the bday shoot bc of u 🫶

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 12m ok i see the vision, she is the vision, wtf is in the zhou genes? modelling? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 11m oscar, pookie, i think she's a bit out of ur league but good luck? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 7m i heard her sing, she's definitely out of ur league, i'm rebranding

liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 1h do you think lina saw the comments under that tweet bc if so 😭 ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 1h this four-reply run SENDS me every time

↳ june @linafesting · 54m what was the context of this time period why are the comments so scattered? (new linami here) ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 49m i think this was around the time t*mmy got engaged and the paps were hounding lina and everyone was telling her to fight back (get a bf)

INSTAGRAM

emptybottlos

liked by zhouguanyu24 and 9,421 others

emptybottlos THE only cousins to ever cousin tagged: selinabui and zhouguanyu24

selinabui DELETE PLS I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE THIS ↳ selinabui @ selinabui I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD JUST PLS DELETE THIS I HATE THIS SO MUCH

zhouguanyu24 😂😂😂

selinabui

liked by lukaszhang, oscarpiastri and 118,023 others

selinabui the desperate image reversal post

stakef1team Kick Sauber green 💚 ↳ selinabui @stakef1team absolutely not but ok bestie stay delulu

pi4str1 oscar in the likes 😭 buddy ur supposed to be getting ready for qualifying???

pastry81 is lina gonna be at the race??? ↳ mickeyko @ pastry81 no :( the whole band flew out to jakarta this morning for the asian leg of the tour

TWITTER

↳ kay ♡ @ blackcatluna · 4h ok guys this has exited my little circle - just to clarify THIS IS A JOKE I'M NOT A KASLINA TRUTHER !!!

↳ kaslina on my mind ☁️ @kaslinatruther · 5h look at my babies 🥹

↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 4h IJBOL ARIANA (kaslina) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 4h certainties of the world: sun rising from east, kaslina resurgence every time one of them has a dating rumour ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 4h LEAVE MY TWIN GUITARS ALONE ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 4h and it's always when it's a DATING rumour, never when they break up

↳ emme @flowersforcami · 4h every baby empty bottles fan goes thru a massive kaslina phase after seeing them live i can't even blame anyone 🥸 ↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 3h hi there, oscar fan, so what exactly is going on with lukas (?) and lina? ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 3h absolutely nothing, they grew up as neighbours who just have pretty spectacular tension on stage but this is them irl: youtube.com/watch?v=....

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri

liked by selinabui and 76,295 others

oscarpiastri Post qualifying, pretty happy with the effort 💪

emptybottlesbar 🔥🔥🔥 ↳ oliviafufu @emptybottlesbar admin are you doing ok there?

landonorris P6 verrrry nice ↳ oscarpiastri @ landonorris P4 verrrrrrry nice :)

izzy.piastri LET'S GAURRRRRR

amelia_belrose he's on the exact opposite side of the spectrum dfjnskjd i can't believe we're getting calm bf x hyper gf

amelia_belrose mr piastri, just curiously, what exactly do you see in our lina?

pastry81 oscar went ok hard launch over, back to regularly scheduled content (papaya)

selinabui

liked by zhouguanyu24 and 98,834 others

selinabui *sigh* kick sauber green 💚

pi4str1 SHE'S SO DEEPLY UNSERIOUS THE PAPAYA #1 VAN 😭😭😭 ↳ pastry81 @pi4str1 i love her so much she's just soooooo

zhouguanyu24 🤨 ↳ selinabui @ zhouguanyu24 爱你爱你 🫂🫂

landonorris Love where your loyalties lie #teampapaya

stakef1team We'll take it 💚💚💚

lukaszhang YO WHO'S DOG IS THAT???

courtneysong16 convinced she saw a random orange van and said “wait let me serve first”

emptybottlesbar

liked by cameliazzz and 108,274 others

emptybottlesbar The two people currently breaking the internet (who look pretty proud of themselves) tagged: selinabui, oscarpiastri, emptybottles_official and mclaren

eb_jonno WHICH ADMIN IS THIS, LET ME SEND YOU FLOWERS OR SMTH

lukaszhang not the 'held at gunpoint' reaction pic AHAHA

cameliazzz admin... sara is that you???

aidan_ebass 👍 ↳ selinabui @aidan_ebass you remembered your login??? ↳ lottie2418 @aidan_ebass omg grandpa hi hi

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit

#f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 social media au

[melodiousmonsters]

I'm going to be honest I didn't do as much research on this as I probably should have and I may make my Reebros a bit more mechanically accurate in future illustrations. But it's done now and I made an oath to myself to not redo any monstiary pages until all the ones I can do are done. Also going to rewrite the two paragraphs in the image in the post because it looks good to me.

"Reebro (J. Mentacorpus) average around 4ft/1.2m tall with a roughly 2.5/.7m circumference, not including the mech suit of course as that’d vary the measurements too much.

The body of the Reebro is composed of an oversized brain, brain stem, and an approximately foot long jumble of nerves. They come in an array of different colors and patterns, each Reebro is unique. Though all of them have only two eyes, one mouth, blunt teeth, and of course their overall body plan.

They are in the Jellatinous family as they have no bones besides their teeth, and they are composed of a fatty jelly not dissimilar to the tissue of the brain.

To be able to do anything, Reebros fashion mechanical suits that are biomechanically integrated to their bodies by their nerves, allowing them to control the suit as if it was a part of them. Their mech suits consist of three main parts, the engine, base, and a form of locomotion. The base is what holds the body of the Reebro and connects their nerves to the mechanics of the suit. This is always right below the body as it's the most convenient for nerve connection.

The engine is what processes the Reebro's lifeforce into energy the suit runs off of. It's done by the largest nerve being connected to a small egg-sized chamber. As the shape of an egg is made to draw lifeforce from the things around it, the chamber will fill itself from the Reebro's energy. This pure energy can then be conducted through wires to do whatever the Reebro needs it to do.

The locomotive parts are the most diverse parts of a Reebro, they can be wheels, treads, or standard mechanical legs. Most often the mechanical legs are hydraulic as it’s the easiest to set up and get the resources for as they just need pistons, water, and tubes. Wheels are a bit more complicated as they require a motor so they are less common. Most often older, more technologically advanced Reebros have them.

Reebros are usually blunt with very little personality in their speech. They are very logically intelligent but not often emotionally or socially, making them come off as very annoying and cocky when they say how smart they are in their early age. Most of the time they learn not to be like that the hard way.

Their logical problem solving skills are very sought after and often a Reebro will be bombarded with questions and requests to assist in fixing or building all sorts of stuff.

Reebros like dry mineral rich environments as it allows for their machinery to function better and for them to get resources to make their machinery. They tend to at least frequent the weird “scrap deserts” in the pocket dimension, which are environments caused by the mech elements being highly present in an area. 

Reebro eggs need to be around a lot of minerals to hatch, most often done with a fancy metal casing that covers about half the egg. As hatchlings they have strong telepathic abilities that allow them to assemble a mech suit to be able to navigate the world. They lose these abilities after about a year. Sometimes the parents will assist in making their mech suits as well. A baby Reebro acts like a computer with very mild human traits. They run near solely off of logic and have a very hard time understanding things like emotions, other monsters, art & creativity, etc. Once they’re around ten or so they’ll start developing those skills if they are exposed to them enough.

The larger a Reebro gets the more machinery they can power, so their mech suit size is limited by their body size. They will eventually always be forced to change out their suits as their body will get too big to fit in their old one."

This is the first monster to not have any variants! If I feel like it I will make it so a monster doesn't have variants if I want to, also it's more fun that way as any Reebro imaginable rather than only three types existing.

#my singing monsters #beezleart #art #melodious monster chronicles #reebro #monstiary

[lorata]

random Claudius AU snippet

i was going through my old drafts and i'm not ever going to expand on this so here's 300 words where Claudius had a normal Arena and 7M was the only 12yo

The kid stares at him with hollow eyes, ringed with shadows above stark cheekbones. Not much sponsor money from District 7 this year, even with a new mentor in the seat, it seems. Claudius spins his blade in his hand in a showy gesture that Seven doesn’t miss. His throat bobs, dry tongue poking out in an attempt to wet his lips more habitual than effective.

“Are you going to kill me?” Seven asks. His voice rasps, hoarse from dehydration.

Claudius doesn’t bother playing, not with a twelve-year-old. He knows where his lines are. “Yeah,” he says. “You want a head start?”

A flash of defiance hits the kid’s eyes, which is interesting. Claudius wonders if his mentors ever got to see it before the Arena or if it was the long slow march of starvation and terror and survival that burned off the fear and baby-fat until nothing but the hard bones remained. “Just kill me,” Seven says, throwing up his head and sticking out his chin. “You’re making jokes and pretending like you’re going to be nice about it, but you don’t care. You don’t even know our names.”

Not a bad tactic for a doomed kid from the middle districts, but unfortunately for him, Claudius knows exactly what to do. “Oh, are we playing a game?” he says, tilting his head and putting the slightest lilt into his tone. “That’s fun, I’ll play. District 7, male tribute. Age: twelve. Private session score: three. Practical skills: climbing. Combat: none. Odds: eighteen to one. And your name is Jeremy.” He says the last with extra emphasis, then smiles, sharp and dangerous. “Your turn, you do me now. Which one am I?”

Jeremy-from-District-7 freezes, eyes wide and mouth working silently. Claudius flattens his smile just a little, lets his eyes go hard. “I didn’t think so,” he says, in that razor space between disappointed and satisfied, and strikes before the kid can blink.

The cannon fires as Seven hits the ground, but Claudius has already turned away.

#we must be killers: tales from district 2 #my writing #oc: claudius

[mobpsycho100]

dont have any other social media so i have no idea where else to post this thought but any parents on here is it just me or are babies literally eating like 99% of the time throughout the day?? like my baby is 7m old now and she’s still having milk every 2 hours during the day and every 3 during the night (if not more often) and now that we started solids she has to have some food an hour after one of her milk feeds but shes still having milk at the same times as usual and now im being told she should be having solids like 3 times a day now with no decrease to milk. so your telling me i need to feed her milk from 9-9pm which are her waking hours 7 times and it takes her 10 mins every time to nurse, and then on top of that make and feed her solids which also takes around 15 mins each times 3 times a day some point in there making sure its 1 hour after her milk feed and 1 hour before her next feed??? what kind of bullshit lol. starting to make more sense now when people said it takes a village

[count-alucard-tepes]

Imagene if Kaido's and S/O's baby climbed on top of Kaido when he's asleep(bc this man is 7m tall, god lord). And the baby just sits on top of his head and is like "Im the king of the world!"

Kaido: *actually awake* “…I love this kid so much right now”

#one piece #ooc #kaido one piece #beast king #beast pirates #wano kuni #land of wano

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for letting my boss believe his wife/my bestie was dead for sixteen years?

Okay, so I KNOW how this sounds but:

So my (32F; now 48F) boss (34M at the time; now 50M) was having his best buddy (33M; now 49M) over for like nine months and everything was chill until my boss accused his wife/my bestie (31F; now 47F) of cheating on him with said best buddy, even though he had absolutely no evidence whatsoever and also my bestie would never. My bestie was also several months pregnant at the time.

My boss tried to get one of his advisors (37M; now 53M) to kill his best friend but the advisor told the best friend about it instead and they went back to best buddy’s hometown together, and then my boss used that to accuse his wife of also trying to plot with them to kill him and helping them to escape, even though there was no evidence for that either.

My boss then threw her in prison, where she gave birth early from the trauma. I had been away but I came back to discover this whole shitstorm and I was like “oh HELL no, someone needs to call him out on this bullshit.” So I took the newborn baby and marched into my boss’ office and was like “look, this baby is obviously yours and also stop being a dick to your wife,” but he threatened to burn me at the stake and shit and we got into a big fight and I ended up storming off without the baby (which was probably a big mistake on my part, oops). My boss told my husband (36M at the time; now dead for reasons to be explained later), who was still there, to go leave the baby to die in best buddy’s hometown or else he’d kill him, me, and the baby, so my hubby didn’t really have much of a choice (although I kinda wish he would’ve fought a little harder).

So anyway, my boss put his wife/my bestie on a mockery of a trial for adultery and conspiracy of assassination and stuff with no evidence whatsoever, and my bestie fought her hardest and gave some really kickass speeches even though she wasn’t fully recovered from giving birth in JAIL. And my boss got like an oracle from the gods or something that said everyone was innocent except my boss and that if the baby wasn’t found then they (my boss and his wife) wouldn’t have an heir. So then my boss’ older kid (7M) died and my bestie fainted from shock and then also died, and I told my boss and smacked him around a bit and he finally seemed to realize that he fucked up big time and vowed to spend the rest of his life repenting for everything he’d done.

Except uh, it turned out that my bestie was only actually Mostly Dead or like it was one of those things where someone briefly dies but comes back [author’s note unrelated to the story: that happened to a former classmate of mine when I was 5, so I think I have something to stand on here].

So I took my bestie to a secluded house and I’ve visited her every day for the past sixteen years and taken care of her and helped her heal and get to a place where she can forgive her husband. And my husband never came back from abandoning the baby, so I (correctly, as it turns out) assumed that he had died in the process, which left me with more resentment towards my boss. At the same time, I also helped my boss work through all his shit and actually become a good human being again, but I never actually told him that his wife was in fact alive because I didn’t want anything to happen to her.

But basically for reasons that are unimportant, their daughter (16F) suddenly came home and they reunited and it was really fucking beautiful actually and my boss showed his level of change. So with their daughter found, I felt like it was time for everyone to reunite, and I pulled off this absolutely amazing reveal and it was even more beautiful and they were all so happy and it looks like everything’s gonna work out for them. (Also my boss wants me to marry his former advisor and he’s a good guy so I think we’ll be happy too.)

But now, a little part of me has to wonder: am I the asshole for having them be apart for sixteen years and not telling my boss that his wife was alive and inflicting potentially unnecessary pain on him?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality #child death #child death mention

[burntoutangel]

Pyromaniac “girlfriend”

“Honey im hoooooome” her voice is muffled through the CM-7M gas mask she always wears. She wouldn’t let you eat until you’d memorized the name and category of every mask on her wall. And put a match out on your skin when you talked back. you’ve learned to polish every single lens and replace every filter, something to do with your hands when they’re not clenching the carpet or sheets in agony. Pointless work, she never changes masks. The shined bug eyes of the mask stare down at you “hey baby! I grabbed some food while I was out. Hheheheh, maybe it’s *smoked* meats wouldn’t that be funny? It’s not, it’s a burger but…”

“Is it at least… flame grilled?” You know better then to act sullen, the “witty banter” is the only thing that breaks the monotony of polishing masks and trying to clean your own charred skin

The subtle closing of her eyes behind the mask is the only hint you get before she slams a gloved fist into your face, little match point stars exploding in your vision

“Hheheheheh that was really funny tho. I’m laughing in the inside I just wanted to remind you of like.. your place I guess. I can’t justify it I just wanted to see you hurt hahaha” you’re used to this but it still hurts so bad, faces bleed a lot and you can feel it dripping from a cut below your eye…

“Ah ah ah!! Don’t get blood on my carpet baby, that’s really not cool, dang do I need to cauterize it?” She’s mocking you

Gloved hands around your neck when did she get behind you flips up the tiny singe marked skirt and oh god

“Shhh shh shh baby it’s ok it’s ok I’ll be gentle mhm? I’ve just had a long day at work and I could use some relief so be a good girlfriend and *mmph*” she sinks into you with far too much ease considering her size. Did she… lube up beforehand? Fucking psycho, at least she’s easier on you now

“Deep breath ok? This is really gonna hurt”

wait what

There’s a cold metal circle pressed around your eye socket

You smell hints of kerosene

There’s an inhale from her and a clock from the machine and the

The entire world is agony

The blowtorch is barely on for a few seconds but in that moment your eye and the surrounding skin is permanently ruined, no amount of healing or surgery or meditation will ever heal this. At least the damage is contained to a small 2-3 square inches, but you won’t appreciate that for a few days. You won’t even be fully conscious again for a few hours

You dimly hear wet noises as she pulls out, guess the warmth of her cum didn’t really register from the whole… boiling eye socket thing

“Fuck that was the tightest you’ve ever bet been baby, fuck that was so good” arms around you, she took her coat off? First time you’ve felt her skin, feels nice. She’s cold, comforting from the searing still radiating down your facial nerves

“C’mon baby we gotta get you cleaned up, that’ll fester soon. And it’ll keep cooking deeper if we don’t cool the skin off”

You gargle something in response, unintelligible even to you “hehhheehh yeah. Yeah this parts gonna hurt too baby”

[craftycheetah]

𝓑𝓵𝓪𝔃𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x reader, Pining!Kirishima x Izuku Midoriya. Reader x OFC (mentioned in passing)

CW: mild violence and blood

Taglist: @pharaohanubis0

A/N: Gray (@endeavours-jockstrap) had this idea, lwk roped me into it so we co-wrote another fic lmao

The dad has strong af swimmers, so he has two wives and a LOT of kids

Hestia: Y/n(21), Agni(17F), Tyson(17M), Egan(15M), Elio(14M), Flint(13M), Shula(5F), Blaze(1M)

Ember: Eijirou(21), Hagan(18M), Udia(10F), Tanwen(10F), Stella(10F), Haco(7M), Helia(4F), Tana(4F)

The heads of the Bakugou tribe, their son, and his right-hand man head west to the mountain range to meet the Firebeards and hopefully establish some connections with the powerful tribe.

“Behave when we get there, brat,” Mitsuki warns Katsuki just before the ship docks, and men with bright red hair and tan skin tie the ship off.

A tall woman in regal green and gold robes greets them, bowing her head. “Bakugous. Please follow me and you will be taken to the castle.”

Katsuki can’t help but notice how big everyone is with the same blazing red hair with skin in various shades of brown or tan. They wave at them as the carriage passes, happy to receive visitors.

Lush rolling green hills, rice fields, and crops are everywhere with simple stone houses. They're simple people, quiet and keeping to themselves. Rarely ever going to war unless absolutely necessary, preferring to sort out their problems through trade and meetings.

The royal home is a massive open space building made of white marble with gold accents and silk curtains with the family crest. The king is waiting for them with his two wives, grinning brightly when they arrive.

“Good to see you, Mitsuki!” He booms, clasping the queen's arm in a friendship grip. “I hope the trip wasn’t too much trouble.”

“It was fine, thank you, Ira. This is my husband, Masaru and my son Katsuki. And this is his friend, Izuku.”

The three men bow their heads in reverence.

“Pleasure to meet you. These are my wives, Ember, my first wife and Hestia my second. My youngest son is Blaze.”

Ember is a gorgeous woman with skin the colour of rich bark and red locs tied up away from her face. Her red eyes are like a cat; narrow and focused.

Hestia’s complexion is a little lighter, with gold markings on her exposed arms. Her curly red hair flows freely around her shoulders. The baby on her hip looks just like her but with brown eyes instead of green.

They nod their heads.

Ira looks around expectantly. “My two oldest children are supposed to join us but I have no idea where they’ve run off to. They’re about your son's age so I do hope they’ll be great friends.”

Two sets of tiny feet patter on the ground and approach Ira, tugging his robes. “Daddy! Eiji and Y/n got into a fight!” They say simultaneously.

Ira pets them. “Thank you for telling me. Ember?”

She nods and briskly walks off towards the entrance. The twins stared at the visitors, hiding behind Ira’s robes.

“Your children are precious,” Masaru smiles, waving at them, and the girl waves back. The boy looks a little more hesitant.

The small group walks through the castle towards the throne room.

“Do you have any more?” Hestia asks Mitsuki.

“Nope, just this idiot here.” She points at Katsuki.

“Hag,” he mutters and Izuku chuckles.

“How many do you have? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Eight each,” Ember says proudly. “Hopefully more soon.”

“Damn…good for you.”

As they sit in the throne room, Ember comes back with two people in tow. The man is massive like his father with the same red hair and tan skin, and the girl looks like Hestia but with darker brown skin and red locs like Embers. She’s just as tall as her brother, with deep curves and some defined muscle in her arms.

They both look a little bruised up, and the white wrap around your chest has blood splattered on it.

“Ah, they’re here.” Ira gestures. “These are my eldest. Y/n and Eijirou. How was it?”

“I knocked that bitch out!” You grin, showing off custom gold teeth caps.

“Did you?” Ira asks, and you come over to him.

“And I lost a tooth, see?” You open your mouth to show off your missing molar.

“Did you replace it?”

“Tenfold!”

“That’s my girl!” He hugs you sideways. “Everyone, this is y/n, my first born and future queen and Eijirou, he was born a month after.”

“Nice to meet you all.” You greet.

Mitsuki looks lost. “Queen? I thought the first son is the heir?” 

“We don’t do that here. First come first served,” Ira laughs. “On with the meeting then?”

You sit next to Katsuki, towering a little over him even in the chair.

“Hi,” you smile at him, and his ears turn pink.

Katsuki grunts, turning away as his face starts to heat up.

You reach out and touch his spiky hair. “I like your hair. It’s very interesting. You’re so small.”

“I am not small!”

“If you lived here, you would be. Do not worry, it'll make you special.” You pat his head again.

“Tch, whatever.”

After the meeting between your families, you yawn and stretch your arms over your head. “That was so boring.”

“Tell me about it,” Eijirou mutters. “Wanna go back down to the village?”

“After a bath.”

You and your brother stand up and start to leave.

“Where are you two going?” Ember asks.

“Baths then village for the festival.”

Ira claps. “Excellent, you should take our guests with you!”

You and Eijirou groan. “Do we have to?” Eijirou whines.

“Yes,” Ember says.

“But the green one’s so…frail. He’ll break.”

“I’m not weak! I’ve beat Katsuki in a fight a couple times!” Izuku squeaks.

“Shut up, Deku.”

“It’ll be fun. Show them our little games,” Ember encourages. “Take Tyson and Agni with you.”

“Not the fucking twins,” you grumble. “Fine.”

“We heard that!” they shout from down the hall.

“I know, you fuckin eavesdroppers. Let’s go, Eiji.”

“And watch your mouth!” Hestia huffs.

“Mom, I’m twenty one.”

“Still!”

“Ugh, fine. You two meet us at the front gate in an hour. Tyson and Agni will meet you there. Don’t answer anything they ask you.”

Izuku nods.

Katsuki rolls his eyes and watches you and Eijirou leave, eyes drifting to your hips, ears turning pink as your butt jiggles beneath your skirt.

“Katsuki?” Masaru gently calls. “Something you wanna say?”

“What? No!”

“Mhm.”

*

Izuku and Katsuki wait at the castle entrance, watching the people do their daily business. Katsuki ignored the occasional stares from some of the townspeople as Izuku wrote notes down in his journal.

“Did you seriously bring that thing with you?”Katsuki scoffs.

“I think it’s cool,” a voice chimes in, startling the two.

“Who are you?” The girl with red braids waves. “I’m Agni. The guy about to tackle your friend is my twin brother Tyson.”

“The hu—Ah!”

A tall redhead tackles Izuku to the floor. “Hi! You guys look weird! Where are you guys from? What’re your names? Can you fight?”

“Please get off of me,” Izuku mumbles shyly.

“Sorry.” Tyson stands up and helps Izuku. “You guys are weird. Why’re you so pale?” He winces when Agni smacks him over the head.

“Don’t just ask people that, stupid.”

He punches her in the shoulder, and they start arguing.

“Hey! Stop fighting!” You shout, pulling them away by their hair. “I’ll tell Ma.”

“No!” They protest. “We’ll stop.”

“Idiots.” You knock their heads together.

“Ow!”“ You're so mean!”

“I’m not mean. I just keep you and thirteen other children in check. Stop bugging the visitors. Did Tyson make you eat bugs?”

“No, he tackled me but I’m okay,” Izuku smiles.

A small brown-skinned girl with two ruby-colored puffs in her hair runs up to you. “Bisa! Where go?”

“I’m taking our guests to the village for the festival, Helia.”

“I go too!” She hugs your leg.

“Did you ask your Mama?”

“No?”

Eijirou picks her up. “You can’t go, you’re too small.” He pokes her nose. His whole hand could probably cover her entire head. “When you’re big like me, you can go to the festival.”

“But then I no go with you and Bisa. Want go too,” she whines.

You rub her back. “Okay, go ask your Mama, and we’ll wait for you. Okay?”

“Kay!”

Eijirou puts her down, and she runs inside. “Wait here, Kay?”

“We’re waiting.”

When she’s inside, both of you sigh in relief. “Ma will never let her.”

“Now, let’s get going before the best part of the festival begins,” Eijirou smiles, wrapping an arm around Izuku’s shoulders before leading him down the path.

Agni and Tyson run ahead, leaving you and Katsuki to walk together.

“So, you’re a prince, huh?” You ask Katsuki.

“Yup! The best in my region.”

“Bold claim for someone so small.”

“Well, not everyone is a giant like your people.”

“Wait…not everyone looks like us?  I quite like that.”

“Really?”

“Yes! Tiny enemies are easy to crush.” You clench your fist in his face.

Katsuki felt the blood rush to his cheeks and his groin simultaneously. ‘Holy shit…’

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Let's just get to the festival.”

You poke his cheek. “I had no idea your people turned red. Interesting.”

“I’m not red!” Katsuki grumbles.

“But your cheeks are red, and your ears are pink. You can change colours?  Eiji, they change colours!” you shout, loud enough for him to hear.

“I know!” Eijirou shouts back. “This one’s been red this whole time.”

“I’m not red, dammit!”

“Alright. The village is just over this hill.”

After a while, the six of you made it to the village, Izuku writing furiously in his notebook while looking at the festival decor.

“What are you doing?” Eijirou asks.

“I’m taking notes,” Izuku smiles. 

“Why?”

“I’ve only read about your island in books, and there isn't much about your lifestyle on the records. I want to learn more about you, your family and your people.” 

“What are you going to use with this? Are you planning to attack us?”

“What?!” Izuku stammers, frantically shaking his head. “No, no, no! Not at all!”

“Then why write down everything about our people?”

“To learn more. I promise that no harm will come to you because of what I write.”

You snatch the book and look at it. “Weird. Look at all of the greenie’s little drawings.” Tossing the book over Izuku’s head, Eijirou catches it and reads some words. “Ooh, is that me? My name’s in here! ‘Eldest son, Eijirou, is tall and handsome. Ooohhhh!”

“Am I in there?” You catch the book again, skimming through but don’t see anything. “Ugh, nothing. What, I’m not interesting enough for your book?”

“No, your highness. I-I mean, I haven’t had the chance to write about you but I will!”

You hand him back the book and ruffle his hair. “Don’t worry about it, do whatever you want. Let’s just enjoy the festival. There’s lots of things to do. We have games, food, and the ring.”

“The…ring?” Izuku asks.

Tyson gasps excitedly. “We can show you.”

After getting tugged along by the twins, the duo sees ‘the ring’, which is just a circular space dedicated to exclusively fighting. A woman and man wrestle in the middle while the spectators cheer and drop coins on a table to place bets.

You push your way through and lean on the fence, watching the fighters. “Oh, it’s Nuria! Kick his ass, Nuria!”

The woman sees you and waves quickly before kicking the man in the face. He wobbles a bit and falls down on his back, out cold. A few people groan and cough up the money, and the others cheer, happy to have won.

“That’s my girl!” You cheer, high-fiving her. Nuria spits the blood in her mouth onto the sand and grins. “Hey, you two.”

“Nuria’s so cool,” Agni swoons dreamily.

“We have guests,” Eijirou points at Katsuki and Izuku.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Nuria.”

“She’s the best!” You smile. “Only one who’s ever beaten me in a fight.”

“I’m the reason she has that scar on her nose!” Nuria boasts.

“And I’m the reason you couldn’t fight last year,” you smirk.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna go get some Flame Punch. Meet me at the stand later?”

“Definitely!”

She hops over the fence to collect her winnings and get her drink.

“I wanna enter!” Tyson begs. “Pleaseee!”

“You’re too young. You’d get thrown out of the ring and Mom’ll have my head. Go to the kids' side.”

They whine and protest but go anyway.

You hop over the fence and step into the centre. “I’m ready!”

Some fighters back up, looking away from you, but the others look excited.

“The Princess returns, folks! After abruptly leaving earlier because her mumsy, the lovely queen Hestia, had to get her,” the announcer snickers.

You flip him off. “Fuck you, Nina!”

“Oohh, scary. Who’s willing to go home with some broken bones today?”

You look around and point at a woman in the crowd. “You! Fight me!”

She hides behind a man who looks down at her with a smile, and the people chuckle.

“Nobody wants to make any money tonight?! Still scared from my earlier fight, huh?”

“Of course they are. The girl’s still looking for her teeth.”

“I’ll do it,” a stocky man with short locs volunteers, hopping into the ring. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Oh yes,” you lick your lips, holding your fists up.

Izuku watches closely, taking notes. “Will she be okay?”

Eijirou nods. “She’ll be fine. Don’t embarrass me!”

“Eat an ass!”

Nina whistles for everyone to quiet down. “Okay, you know the rules. Anything goes, just don’t kill each other and no groin damage.”

“Yeah yeah! Let’s go!”

“Everyone placed their bets? Good! Let’s get this started!” Nina rings a bell, and you spring into action.

Katsuki watches you rush the guy and side-step him when he tries to grab you. You land a right hook to his face and cheer loudly, punching him again. Swooping your leg, you knock him down and punch him in the face before he pushes you off, kicking you in the stomach. You wheeze and roll away before he steps on you, standing back up.

“Not bad,” you chuckle breathily.

“Sorry to do this to you, princess,” he smiles, wiping the blood from his nose.

Charging at you again, he raises his fist and swings as you duck and run behind him before roundhouse kicking his cheek as he turns around, disorienting him, then kicking him with the other leg, effectively knocking him out as he falls backward, and landing face first in the ground.

“One! Two! Three! Four! Five! He’s out cold folks! The princess wins again! Are we surprised?”

A couple people groan as the rest of the crowd cheers. You wipe the blood from your nose and grin at Eijirou and your audience. “Thank you, thank you. You’ve been great!” Getting ready to step out of the ring, you stop when Katsuki steps in, handing Izuku his cloak.

“What’s this?! Another challenger?! He’s kind of small, though….” Nina announces as some people in the crowd laugh.

“Oh, you have got to be—I am not small!”

“...whatever. Anyone placing bets on the short stack?”

The silence in the crowd is so loud as Eijirou walks over to Nina and silently bets on you to beat Katsuki.

“This’ll be short…alright, begin!”

The bell rings, and Katsuki springs off from the sand towards you. It happens so fast; he feels pain blossom in his eye before something grabs his neck, and then he’s looking up at the orange sky.

“That’s a new record! For the shortest match time and longest anyone’s ever lasted with the Princess! Give it up for the runt!”

The crowd erupts in cheers as Izuku rushes over after writing the details of the fight and helps you take Katsuki out of the ring.

“Kacchan! Are you okay?!” Izuku asks, checking on him.

Katsuki groans, holding the side of his head. “What the fuck happened?”

“You lost….” you chuckle.

“Was it embarrassing?”

“...no?” Eijirou chuckles, holding a sack of coins.

“You bet against me?!” you gasp.

“What?! No! I was low on pocket funds, and I wanted to play some games and win a prize.”

You roll your eyes and examine the blooming bruise around Katsuki’s eye. “You’ll be fine. I didn’t expect you to step into the ring, you’ve got balls.”

“Course I fuckin’ do! I’m the…” he trails off, feeling dizzy.

“Uh oh, don’t fall asleep.” You pat his cheeks. “Come on, I’ll take him to the castle to rest up.”

Katsuki feels you pull him to his feet and lift him onto your shoulder. “Oh my god. You’re strong.”

“Thank you,” you smile.

The whole way back, he rambles sleepily, which is good. At least he’s still conscious.

“Tired.”

“You’ve said it repeatedly.”

“Lemme sleep,” he whines.

You bounce him on your shoulder. “No, you can rest at the castle. I’ll ask my father to get the healer to check on you.”

“I don’t wanna go! I wanna stay with you!”

You laugh. “When you wake up, sure.”

“Noooooo, lemme stay with the sexy lady!!!!” he complains.

“You think I’m sexy?”

“And hot.”

When you get to the castle, Ira is in the middle of showing Mitsuki and Masaru where they would be sleeping.  The youngest triplet with him, Stella, giggles and points at your figure. “Daddy, look.”

“What happened?!” Mitsuki shouts, checking on Katsuki.

“He tried to fight me in the ring and I accidentally hit him too hard. He’ll be fine. What room is he in?”

“That’s my girl! Third spare.”

“He needs a healer though.” You carry him down the hall to the second biggest spare room, laying him on the bed. “There you go. Don’t die.”

“I won’t. Gotta kiss you first,” he chuckles before drifting off.

You stifle a laugh and leave, shutting the oak door behind you. Helia and her sister, Tana, run up to you. “Bisa! You fibbed!”

“Huh?”

Helia pouts. “You say you wait but no wait!”

“Fibber!” Tana repeats, red twists swishing.

“I didn’t fib. I knew Ma wouldn’t let you go because you’re too small. But how about I take you during the day tomorrow? You too, Tana.”

“Yah!”

Hestia rounds the corner, holding baby Blaze. “I’ve told you to stop lying to her.”

“Mom, it’s not a lie! I was gonna go with her, but I knew Ma would say no because it’d be past her bedtime by the time we’d get back.”

The girls hug her legs, giggling. “Mama, hungry!”

“Dinner will be ready soon. Where’s Eijirou?”

“Still with the twins. Shit, I have to meet Nuria! Bye mom!” You rush down the hall.

“Tell her I said hi!”

“I will!” you shout as you rush out the doors towards the village. Panting heavily, you finally make your way to the stand.

“I made it,” you pant.

“Hey,” Nuria chuckles, handing you the wooden mug. “Saw your fight, hope you didn’t kill him.”

“Nah, I think I fucked up his head a little though….” you chuckle. “Carried him back to the castle and he was babbling like a brook. Said I’m sexy. Cheers.”

Both of you click mugs and down the hot drink, wincing at the burn. “Oh wow, it gets better every year.”

“I gotta figure out how to make this all year round,” Nuria coughs, drinking the rest.

“So you can be drunk all the time?”

“It’s fun. You like me drunk.”

She brushes one of your locs back. “You’re right.”

“You want to come back to my place?”

“I thought you and Brenton were still together?”

She rolls her eyes. “We broke up a month ago, but he won’t get over himself. I don’t really feel like dealing with him. He’s kind of an ass. But we’ll deal with him if he tries anything.”

“In that case.” You smile as you link your arm with hers. “Lead the way.”

*

The following day, Katsuki wakes to a maid pulling his curtains open. The light hurts his eyes, and he hisses, pulling the blanket over his face. “Fuck off!”

The maid giggles and stands next to the bed. “It’s time to wake up, your highness. Breakfast is served and you’ll have to take special herbs for your headache.”

Katsuki peeks out at her, frowning.

“Oh that’s a shiner,” she mumbles. “Take your time.” She scurries out.

He reluctantly gets up, checking his face in the mirror. Luckily his eye isn’t swollen, but there’s already a purple bruise around it. Are your bones made of metal?

Changing into more casual trousers and a linen shirt, he steps out and nearly gets tripped by two kids in silk nightgowns. They stop at one of the numerous doors, knocking their little hands on it. “Big brother! Time to wake up!”

Eijirou opens the door shortly after, scratching his stomach. “Hey you two!”

Helia and Tana squeal in delight when he puts his arms down for them to cling to and carry them. “Wanna help me wake the others?”

“Yah!”

Eijirou finally sees Katsuki standing in the hall. “Good morning!”

“Mm.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“As best as I can with this.” He points at his eye. The girls on Eijirous shoulders giggle.

“Sorry bout that, breakfast will cheer you up. Come on.”

Katsuki follows Eijirou down the halls, watching the massive man knock on the doors. Each door is carved with the names of what child is occupying it, and the twins and triplets share rooms. Simple enough.

“Elio, wake up!” Eijirou shouts in front of one. It opens, and a skinny boy in linen sleep pants opens it, yawning. “I’m up.”

“It’s your turn to get Blaze.”

“Ugh, fine.” He slams the door shut.

“How do you keep up with them?” Katsuki asks.

“It’s actually really easy! They listen to me and y/n so we don’t have to work too hard. Of course the youngest kids have nursemaids to help out and the older ones are there to help us out so overall, it’s pretty easy.”

The dining table is long. Long enough for the whole family and some guests, heaped with different breakfast items from the kitchen. Hestia and Ember are already there, watching to see if everything is perfect.

“Mama!” “Mommy!” Helia and Tana squeal, running to the two women.

“Good morning, love.” Hestia smiles, squatting to kiss Tana’s cheeks. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes Mama.”

Ember touches Helia’s nightgown. “But you’re not dressed, did you run away?”

The girls giggle mischievously to themselves. On cue, a maid comes running into the room. “There you two are! I’m so sorry, my queens.”

Helia and Tana try to run again, but Ember holds their arms. “No, bath time. Celeste?”

“Noooo!” The twins whine.

Celeste grabs them, pulling them away with a scold.

“Eijirou?” Hestia calls out.

“Yeah ma?”

“Where’s your sister?”

“Which one?”

“You know damn well which one. Where’s y/n?”

“She went out to get flame punch with Nuria yesterday.”

“Did she come back?”

Eijirou shrugs and sits near the head of the table.

“Hello Katsuki,” Ember nods at him. “How’s your eye?”

“Hurts like shit,” he hisses.

“Oh you’ll be fine, just walk it off. By the looks of it, she went easy on you.”

“That was easy?!”

Hestia sighs fondly. “I remember her first fight. She was so cute. My little warrior.”

“So do I, cause she beat me up,” Eijirou huffs.

The rest of the kids shuffle in and take their seats. For so many people, it’s surprisingly organised. Elio brings in Blaze, handing him to Hestia.

“Aww, my baby. Sorry for waking you,” she coos, poking his nose.

Blaze yawns, softly gripping her finger before resting his face in her neck.

Mitsuki, Masaru and Izuku finally join. Greeting everyone.

“You can sit by me!” Eijirou calls Izuku over. “Get up.” He tells his brother in the chair.

Hagan glares at Eijirou. “What? No!”

Eijirou shoves him off the chair to the floor. “What the fuck!”

“Language!” Ember calls out.

“Sit next to Egan.”

Hagan pouts and stands up, going to sit in the empty seat next to his younger brother.

“Now if I knew where my daughter was, we could have a perfect breakfast.”

“Morning my loves,” Ira grins, kissing both Hestia and Ember on the cheeks, “and my baby boy.” He picks up Blaze, kissing his cheeks and smiling when he babbles softly. Silently counting the heads at the table, excluding his guests. “Where’s my little champion?”

“Sucking face with Nuria,” Hagan snickers with Egan.

“Women will be her downfall,” he chuckles, sitting at the table head.

“How do you know?” Hestia asks.

“Cause we saw them sneaking in together.” They both say.

“Us too,” Agni and Tyson repeat.

“And nobody decided to tell us?” Ember groans. “Children these days.”

“I know exactly how you feel,” Mitsuki acknowledges.

About ten minutes later, you walk into the dining hall with Nuria, chatting excitedly to yourselves.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Hestia says, cutting into her eggs. “Hello Nuria, how’s your mother?”

“She’s doing well, Queen Hestia.” “Morning, mom. Ma, Dad, and everyone else.” You wave. “Bye Nuria~.”

She pats your butt playfully and giggles before she makes her way to the exit. You walk up to the seat between Hestia and Katsuki. “Udia, I wanna sit here.”

“But I was here first!” She whines, puffing out her cheeks.

“And I was born first, get up.”

She huffs, sticks her tongue at you, and takes her plate, sliding off the seat to sit next to Ira so you can take her place.

“I gave you a shiner!” You laugh at Katsuki. “You look cooler now.”

Katsuki scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he scoffs. “What’re you eating?”

“Eggs and Sausages.” You rub your hands and reach for the sausage platter, smacking Hagan’s hands when he tries to take it.

“Ow!” Hagan huffs. “Is today ‘Get Bullied By Your Older Sibling Day’ or something?!”

“Is there any left?” Katsuki asks.

“Yeah, the maids cook a lot considering there’s nineteen of us. Now twenty-three since we have your family and your little note taker as guests.”

“That’s fair,” he mumbles, reaching for a bread roll.

After he eats half of his breakfast, you ask him about Yuuei.

“Hey, Katsuki? What’s your home like? Is everyone small and cute?”

‘Did she just call me cute, or is she just saying that about people like me,’ he thinks. “Some are but some are tall. Normal people, kinda boring.”

“Do you also have dragons?”

“You have dragons?!”

“Duh. In the mountains. They’re nice to us as long as we don’t bother them too much. I found one as a child and she lives in a cave not too far from here, you should see!”

“...whatever,” Katsuki grumbles, eating more of his breakfast before feeling a small pat on his leg. “Huh? What do you want?”

Looking down at your five-year-old sister, Shula holds up a muffin cake with a smile, two of her front teeth missing.

“For me? What is it?”

Leaning over, you giggle softly. “It’s a muffin cake. The younger ones love them. Guess Shula wants to share it with you.

Katsuki takes it, inspecting the little wrapper with the cake. “Thanks.”

Shula waves at him, then runs back to her seat.

“That was sweet,” you smile. “Go ahead and try it, they’re really good.”

Katsuki reluctantly takes a bite, humming at the sweetness of it. “S’good. Is that syrup in the middle?”

“There’s more of them next to the sausages, I think. Can you pass me one?”

Taking two of the wrapped cakes from the table, he hands one to you before unwrapping and biting into the other.

As you bite into the cake, you feel a large drop of syrup spill onto your hand. Groaning softly at the sweet taste of the syrup, you’re blissfully unaware of Katsuki watching you lick your hand and suck your fingers as his ears turn red.

Agni notices and leans in. “His ears are turning red again!”

The kids all turn to Katsuki and ‘ooh’ in amazement.

“Papa, you never said people were like color lizards! That’s so cool,” Flint grins.

“Wow!” Stella, Udia and Tanwen chorus.

You giggle softly as he covers his face before Ember speaks up. 

“Alright, children. That's enough. Don’t be disrespectful towards our guests.”

They all chorus their own forms of apologies.

Hestia chuckles and rubs her stomach. “Ooh, I’m feeling nauseous again.”

“Are you still sick?” Ira asks, holding her hand over the table.

“It’s probably just something I ate, don’t worry.”

“You’ve been like this for over a week, love. Go lay down. I’ll get the healer to check on you.”

“Thank you. Behave yourselves today. Especially you, Y/n. You too, Elio.” She excuses herself and makes her way out.

Elio sighs in exasperation while you subtly roll your eyes.

“Mama?” Blaze calls, reaching for her.

Ira holds his tiny fist with two fingers. “Mama isn’t feeling well. You’ll get to see her later.”

Blaze whimpers softly and looks up at Ira. “Wa Mama…” he sniffles.

“You could spend the day with Y/n and me. I’m sure you’ll like that.”

“Blaze! Look at me!” You call to the baby, wiggling your fingers. “Don’t you wanna be with your Bisa?”

Blaze looks at you and coos softly before smiling and reaching for you. “Bisa!”

You take him from your father’s arms and boop his nose before feeding him the rest of his breakfast.

“Say ‘ahh’,” you coo.

Blaze opens his mouth for the rice porridge and claps his hands happily when he eats it, humming with you.

“Little cutie. Ahh.”

“‘Ahh!” Blaze copies and continues eating the porridge.

“Good boy,” you coo. “You’re so cute! Yes, you are.”

Continuing to feed him, you eventually burp him and tickle his stomach, smiling as he giggles.

“Bisa! Wuv Bisa!” he babbles, smiling when he makes your smile wider.

“I love you too. You get to spend the day with me. Katsuki?”

Katsuki pulls his gaze away from you and Blaze, “Huh?”

“I have duties to perform with my dad, so is it okay if we go and visit the dragon after unless you would like to join me?”

“Oh, sure,” Katsuki mumbles before his face turns even redder as Blaze curiously tries to tug down your wrap giving him a flash of your chest.

“Hey! No, Blaze, don’t do that!” You scold, holding the wrap against your chest. “Bad baby, bad.”

Blaze giggles and tries again, stopping when you tug his hand away.

“No. No. Dammit.” You take the wrap off, shake it out, and cover yourself with it again.

“I’ll meet you in the throne room. I need to go use the restroom,” Katsuki grumbles, ears and cheeks a pale flamingo pink.

“Okay then, see you—”

He’s already up before you finish, pulling his shirt down over his front as he leaves.

“Hm, strange.”

*

Dressing in your royal robes, you take one last look at yourself before tying your hair up with gold clips. It’s a red silk dress layered with a green cloak embroidered with the family crest, all held together by a wide black belt. You uncover Blaze’s head from the blanket and smile when he looks at you and reaches for you. 

“Bisa peby,” he babbles.

“You think I’m pretty? Aww, thank you,” you coo and adjust his own little green cloak and robe. “Let’s go see dad.”

Ira meets you both at the foot of the stairs and smiles. “You look beautiful.”

“I feel hot.” You let him kiss your forehead.

“Glad to know you like the robes, my little warrior. And this little menace is so handsome. Who’s Papa’s handsome little menace? You are! Yes, you are~,” Ira coos, picking up Blaze and tickling his tummy. “Shall we?”

“Yup.” You start walking down the hall.

“The Bakugou’s will be joining us but the son hasn’t left his room since breakfast so I assume he’s skipping. What could you possibly have told him?”

“I didn’t do anything, honest! Maybe he’s not used to the way we live.”

“What did you do?”

“I took off my top during breakfast to readjust it cause Blaze kept pulling at it, but that’s normal, right?”

“Not for them. Did you not notice how their son and his friend reacted?”

“No? I was focused on fixing it and feeding Blaze, why?”

Ira hums knowingly. “You realise he finds you attractive, right?”

“I figured, most people do.”

“You could use that to your advantage~” he sing songs

“True. But he’s so tiny.”

“You’ll figure it out. Let’s finish soon, I promised the twins I’d come for their tea party later.”

After the meeting between both of your families, you change back into your comfortable wrap skirt and top to wait for Katsuki to meet you in the throne room. After about fifteen minutes, he still hasn’t shown up so you take Blaze, who you’ve placed in a sling around your back and wander around the castle. The triplets door is open and you can hear loud giggles and chatter coming from it. The triplets must’ve gotten some poor rabbit again.

You look inside, surprised to see Katsuki sitting on the ground with Stella putting ribbons in his hair while Udia and Tanwen are braiding and putting glass beads in his long strands.

“Then I saw the baker man kissing the locksmith, but the locksmith has a wife !” Tanwen finishes her story.

“No!” Katsuki gasps.

“Uh huh. But—but I ran away cause they saw me. Don’t tell mama!”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Wait, are you talking about the locksmith near the dock? Flint said he and his wife are di—div—hmph,” Udia huffs.

“Divorced?” Katsuki helps.

“Yes! That one! Because he doesn’t like girls anymore. Dunno why though.”

“Girls are pretty but so are boys!” Stella smiles.

“Yeah!” They chorus.

Clearing your throat, you lean against the door with a smile as Katsuki hides his face in his hands.

‘Why now?!’ Katsuki groans internally.

“Having fun, girls?”

“Hi Bisa!” Udia smiles, finishing one of the long braids. “Bakugou said we can do his hair, isn’t he pretty?”

“Mhm, very pretty. But he’s gonna have to go now, we’re going to see Mina.”

“Awww,” they whine and start taking off the beads but leave the braids.

“You can play with him tomorrow, girls.”

“Aww, whyyy?” Tanwen whines.

“Because I said so. Let’s go.”

Katsuki takes out the rest of the ribbons and hands them to the girls. “We’ll meet later today. You still owe me the ending of that locksmith story.”

Stella and Udia nod eagerly. 

Following you out of their room, Katsuki waves at them before noticing the extra wrap around your waist and chest. “What's with the extra wrapping?”

You turn and show him Blaze asleep, cheek squished against your back.

‘She’s “mean” but really cares about her siblings. Hell she looks like a mother with that baby on her back.’ Katsuki thinks as his mind slowly wanders to you both pregnant and carrying two tiny brown bundles, one with red hair and the other a ash blonde.

“How long has he been asleep?”

“Half way through the meeting until now. He’s coming with us cause Mina loves him.”

Katsuki nods as he follows you out of the castle towards the forest. “How exactly did you meet, ‘Mina’? Did you name her or was that her given name?”

“I was hunting one day and I saw an injured hatchling. It was her. She got caught in a boar trap and I helped her out of it. I nursed her back to health and now we're best friends. In our language, her name translates to Mina.”

“Oh. By the way, the little brat's up.”

“Buh,” Blaze babbles softly. 

“Good morning to you, too. We're gonna see Mina, are you excited?”

“Daga? Daga!” he giggles and you can feel his little feet kicking.

“Easy, easy! We'll see her soon,” you chuckle as you both make your way deeper into the forest before stopping at a dark cave entrance.

“Are you sure it wasn't some giant lizard you saved?”

“Dragons are real. Can you cover his ears? The call is pretty loud.”

“Whatever,” he scoffs, covering the baby’s ears.

You clear your throat before inhaling and letting out a loud, guttural growl that echoes through the stone walls, scaring away a couple birds in the trees and making Katsuki's stomach drop.

‘This one. I want this one. Fuck, I'm in love.’ he thinks.

A moment or two later, loud thuds ring through the cave and a gust of wind nearly knocks the two of you over.

“Mina!” You yell. “You bitch, get out here!”

Katsuki prepares for the worst, taking a step back. A pink head peeks out of the cave, squinting at the light. Mina’s dark eyes widen when she sees you, “Y/n!”

“Mina!”

She runs out to hug you, nearly knocking you over, surprising Katsuki considering they're roughly the same size. “Hiiii!”

“Hey! How are you?”

You headbutt Mina inn greeting and wince as your head hits one of her sun-colored horns.

“Daga!” Blaze squeals, wanting to see Mina.

“Blaze!” Mina grins, taking him when you unwrap the cloth. “You’re so big now! Last I saw you, you were a little hatchling.”

“Mimi! Buv Mimi!”

“I love you too,” she coos.

Katsuki clears his throat and you pat his head. “Mina, this is one of my dad's guests. Katsuki Bakugou, prince of Yuuei.”

“Nice to meet you!” Mina smiles at him. “What happened to your eye?”

“He tried to fight me.”

You both laugh at his expense, annoying him.

Katsuki looks her up and down, seeing the fur dress cinched at the waist by a rope.“I thought you said we were meeting a dragon?”

“Yeah, Mina’s a dragon shifter, obviously. Mina, if you don't mind.”

Mina looks away from Blaze and hands him to you as she steps away.

A large flash of pink light flashes in front of the three as smoke covers your vision. Blaze squeals eagerly, squirming in your hold.

A loud roar cuts through the smoke as Blaze and Katsuki look up in astonishment while you playfully roll your eyes.

“D-D…” Katsuki stammers as Blaze squeals eagerly.

“Daga!!!” he screams, reaching for Mina and smiling when she lowers her head to lick his cheek and nuzzle him.

Katsuki steps back again to take in her massive form. “This is insane! You’re huge!”

Mina huffs smoke at him.

“Don't be so hard on him. He's never seen a dragon before. Apparently there aren't any where he's from.”

Mina trills quietly and there’s another flash and she’s back to her human-like form. “Well then, he should have more manners.”

“Well, go on,” you hum, softly nudging him forward.

“What?” Katsuki asks, confused.

“Apologise to her.”

“For?”

“Being rude, obviously. Go on.”

“No.”

“Well I was going to give you a gift from my hoard but you're being kind of a dick so…” Mina trails off.

“Fine, I'm sorry,” he grumbles.

“That’s better. Apology accepted.”

You pet his hair again like a puppy. Katsuki doesn’t want to admit how much he likes it. 

Mina takes him inside the cave where piles of gold, jewels and fine clothes are sitting. “I’m not picky, if it’s shiny I like it.”

Katsuki sets his greedy little eyes on a gold goblet with rubies around the rim and stem. “That one,” he grins.

Mina picks it up. “This old thing? Here, I’ve been meaning to get rid of it.” She tosses it at him. Katsuki’s surprised by the weight but that means it’s solid gold. Nice.

Blaze waddles inside the cave with you behind him. He stands at Katsuki’s feet and holds his cloak for support.

“Bago!” Blaze giggles up at him. “Up!”

“What did you just call me?” Katsuki asks, looking at the bubbly baby.

“He gave you a nickname. He likes you,” you smile.

“Bago! Bago up!”

“Alright, you little brat,” Katsuki chuckles, picking up the baby and placing him on his shoulders. “Is that better?”

Blaze squeals and gleefully pulls Katsuki’s hair.

“Ow! Why is he so strong?!”

“Runs in the family. Eijirou punched me in the nose when we were half his age.”

“Damn, what did you do?”

“I got too close to him apparently. This is why our siblings have individual cribs. Kicked him in the ribs though as payback,” you snicker as Blaze pats Katsuki’s head before cooing in the direction of Mina’s hoard. 

“Peby…” he babbles.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got something special for you.” Mina smiles and picks up a large sack full of gold items and a small silver rattle with a bird charm.

You take the sack, checking the weight. “Nice.”

Katsuki watches the exchange. “Why do you need all this gold?”

“It’s her living fee. Dad charges her to stay here and protect us. The rattle’s just a gift for your little navigator.”

Blaze gasps excitedly when he gets the rattle and shakes it violently to hear the tinkling.

“Oh. Is it a lot?” Katsuki asks.

“Not really. I get to do what I want, see my best friend and protect those I care about, Seems like a good life for me,” Mina shrugs before turning her head as a horn bellows in the distance. “Looks like you’ve gotta head back.”

“Dangit. I’ll see you next week.”

“Okay, bye bestie,” Mina smiles, giving you a hug and a headbutt goodbye.

Waving to Mina, Blaze whines softly. “Mimi go bye?”

“Yes, but I promise we’ll see her again soon. Besides, you had fun with me and Bago, right?” you grin, slightly teasing Katsuki with the use of his new nickname.

“Bago buh!” Blaze pulls his hair again.

“Yes he is.”

“Ah bah bah!” Blaze continues the whole way back.

*

When you get home, the rest of your family is waiting in the throne room. You stand next to Eijirou and Izuku, handing the sack to your brother. “What’s going on?”

“Dad has an announcement apparently.”

Katsuki hands you Blaze and goes off to talk to his parents.

“I hope it’s nothing serious,” you mumble.

Ira, Ember and Hestia make their appearance, smiles on their faces.

Ira claps. “Settle down everyone. I have excellent news!”

Hestia rubs her stomach. “We’re expecting.”

All of you cheer, rushing to crowd and hug her.

“Congrats Ma!” Eijirou smiles, kissing her cheek.

“I’m happy for you!” You grin, hugging her.

“Alright, alright,” Ember chuckles, “Don’t smother her. Congratulations, love.” She smiles, hugging her wife.

“I hope it’s another boy,” Hagan says eagerly.

“Nuh uh!” Tanwen counters.

“A girl!” Stella pouts.

“Boy!” Haco and Egan shout.

“God, do they rest?” Mitsuki mutters but she’s happy for Hestia.

Ira hugs his two wives in his big arms. “We have to celebrate! Bring the festival to the castle grounds for some fun!”

“Partyyyy!” You and the older boys holler.

Blaze looks up at you confused. “Bisa? Wa go?”

“Mommy’s gonna have another baby and we’re having a party.”

“Pa-Ty!” He squeals, familiar with the word.

“Yup. Party, party—” you chant, and the older kids join you.

© craftycheetah: all rights reserved. do not edit, modify, repost, or claim my works as your own.

#katsuki x poc!reader #katsuki x black!reader #x black reader #bnha x black!reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bonnie.writes #bnha #katsuki bakugo x reader #kirideku #izuku midoriya #kirishima eijirou #katsuki bakugou #fantasy au

[justiceamberheard]

Amber Heard’s testimony, part 8.

Day 16. Day 17. cross examination

Amber explains why Depp is not a victim of doemstic abuse.

the pictures that were shown in court: 1  2     3

Amber expalins why she didn’t seek medical treatment after Australia.

more pictures.

Amber sent pictures of Depp passed out to her friend Raquel.

Amber says she donated/pledged 7m to charities. She consider those words synonyms. Heard says: "I have not been able to fulfil those obligations yet." Heard says the reason she hasn't yet donated the full amount was because Depp sued her. She told the court: "I fully intend to honour all of my pledges. I would love for him to stop suing me so I can".

Amber agrees that their relationship started in October 2011.

The lawyer shows a knife Heard gave Depp while he was allegedly abusing her in 2012.Heard says: "I wasn't worried he was going to stab me with it that's for certain."Asked if this is the same knife she gave Depp as a present, Heard says: "This is the same knife that I gave him as a present in 2012."

The lawyer asks about the sexual assault in Australia.

Amber denies throwing a bottle at Depp and cutting his finger off.

Heard's texts read in part, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to change."

The pictures of love diary. The note reads: "I am sorry I can get crazy, I am sorry I hurt you. Like you I can get wicked when I am hurt, when I feel provoked, shattered." 

pictures:  1    2    3

 Heard testifies, "I think it's important in any relationship to apologize when you're trying to move past fights." She goes on to say, "I tried everything ... I couldn't change my relationship."

A picture of the bed. (December 2015). according to his lawyers allegedly with a knife.

She asks if Heard stopped taking drugs and alcohol amid concerns about Depp's use of substances.Heard replies: "I did not use drugs when I was with Johnny, in his presence, aside from the times I testified about with you." She asks: "So you planned to have drugs at your wedding to someone you characterise as a drug addict?"Heard replies: "To be fair we were going to have separate parties as I mentioned, so a bridal party before this. The schedule ended up changing quite a bit and this was a draft sent before, there were a lot of changes made."

Amber explains the text messages. (running away from the troubles).

Heard says that it looks to her as though the picture on the left has a vanity light while the one on the right does not.The lawyer asks: "Isn't it true you just edited these photographs?""No I have never edited a photograph," Heard says.

pictures from Bahamas December 30, 2015.

Amber says her op-ed is not about him, but about what happened after. The only person who thinks that was about johnny, was johnny.

Amber says there’s a smear campaign against her. The lawyer asks whether she has proof of it. Amber responds: Just look me up and you'll see. 

The court is now shown a tweet Amber Heard sent to Johnny Depp's lawyer in March 2021.

Johnny Depp's lawyer Camille Vasquez asks Amber Heard whether she enjoys being a mother. Heard has a one-year-old girl.Heard replies: "More than anything".

Depp's lawyer Camille Vasquez asks Heard: "You said on that recording you hit Mr Depp?"Heard says: "Yes."Ms Vasquez says: "You accused him of being a baby?"Heard says yes, she called him a baby after he hit her and pushed past her while she was barricading the door.We are played another piece of audio that seems to be from later in the couple's argument about the bathroom door. Ms Vasquez says: "You punched the door into his head didn't you?"Heard says she did not, but that Depp had pushed the door into her toes, hurting her, and she responded on instinct.

Depp's lawyer Camille Vasquez asks why Heard roles her eyes and "sniggers" during the video. She asks: "Do you think it's funny to hit your husband in the head? Is there something amusing about punching your husband in the jaw?"Heard says no, there is nothing funny about that, but says she was sat with a large group of lawyers at the time, who she says were rolling their eyes at her and laughing. (but that’s okay for Depp smiling, smirking, being rude to the lawyer, gotcha!)

Heard says no, as she was not the one who had leaked the scoop on her divorce, going on to say: "If I had wanted to leak things about Johnny, I could have done it in a much more successful way, a bigger way over the years."

Johnny Depp's lawyer Camille Vasquez refers us to an article in which it is claimed Heard assaulted Ms van Ree at a Seattle airport in 2009. Ms Vasquez says this shows Depp is not the first partner she has assaulted.Heard says the article, which claims Heard "struck" her then-girlfriend, "was planted after I got a restraining order against Johnny". She says it is another example of what she calls "the smear campaign" she claims Depp and his team launched against her after she filed for divorce.Heard goes on to say: "I've never assaulted Mr Depp or anyone else I've been romantically linked to, ever."

the redirect:

Heard says she saw an ear, nose and throat specialist in 2016/2017, and says she has "a significant amount of trouble breathing at night". She tells the court: "I have been putting off getting surgery for it."

Bredehoft asks Heard why she believes Depp cannot look at her. Heard: Because he's guilty. He knows he's lying. Why can't he look at me? I survived that man and i'm here and I'm able to look at him.

the end!

#anti johnny depp #johnny depp #i stand with amber heard #amber heard

[chrisevansonly]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞? | 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬

᪥social media au

᪥just doing your daily gf duties, which include following your bf around as he takes photos and asking for his money..

᪥another lando for now! requests are open🧡

y/n’sinsta

liked by landonorris, f1wags, mclaren and 7M others

i should be getting paid full time for this job…😪

tagged landonorris

view 9,000 comments

username y/n taking photos of lando while lando takes photos of….?

username @/landonorris PAY YOUR GIRL

username💀

landonorris my love isn’t enough payment for you? 💔

landonorris can’t believe this

>y/n’sinsta look who’s pulling out the dramatics now 🤨

>username MOM AND DAD ARE FIGHTING

danielriccardo that’s funny…i was getting paid…

>y/n’sinsta WHAT😃😃

>landonorris🙂🙃

landonorris

liked by y/n’sinsta, charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell and 9M others

she’s only smiling and enjoying herself because i paid her🙄

tagged y/n’sinsta

view 16,000 comments

username ohhh i can smell these comments already

username hm always knew something was off

y/n’sinsta funny cause the last cheque was kinda lacking lan 🫤

>username wtf

>username pls tell me she isn’t serious

charles_leclerc how dare you not pay her more @/landonorris 🙄

>y/n’sinsta that’s what im saying

y/n’sinsta all jokes aside though, i am happiest wherever you are baby❤️❤️

>landonorris i love you❤️

username the way i love them😭

y/n’sinsta added to their story!

F1WagGossip

liked by wagsofformula1, starnews, username and 4,000 others

formula 1 driver lando norris was recently spotted with his longtime girlfriend y/n y/l/n in London. recently y/n has been receiving some backlash about her comments involving lando’s money. when asked to comment lando laughed stating “it’s all for jokes, we’ve always been that way and real fans know that, besides i’d give all my money to y/n if she asked me anyway.” you could hear y/n laughing to herself in the passenger seat before he said a quick thanks and drove off!

view 600 comments

username proud to say i’ve been around since they got together 🫡

username mom and dad asf

wagsofformula1 we love lando and y/n🧡

username still seems kinda weird to me

>username good thing no one asked 😃

>username or cared 😁

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #lando norris x you #lando norris x girlfriend reader #lando norris social media au #lando norris fake social media #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris fake instagram #lando norris #lando norris x female reader #lando norris x fem!reader #formula 1 masterlist #formula 1 #f1

[lunarmoonanons]

Grow

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕  

Quirk: Grow

This quirk allows YN to grow things to enormous size by touching it. She needs to have emotional care for the object that she grows. The largest she has made something grow was her dog, which she grew from a small runt of the litter puppy to a 7m (25ft) giant.

Female YN, big ol good boys, teenage romance

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕  

Masterlist

Kirishima was pumped to spend some time with his girlfriend. This was the first time he was allowed to be near her house, since his girlfriend was reserved about letting people into her life. It took him almost 3 months for her to even tell him what her quirk was. A killer quirk. So, he sat on a bus that went to the country's ocean side. Since her quirk caused things to grow to a ridiculous size, having an open space like fields near the ocean was convenient.

When he got off to the right place, Kirishima bounded down the road to her house. When he saw the titular house in between the sea and countryside. It had a large barn in the back. Kirishima’s pace quickened at the sight of his girlfriend who also went towards him. The two hugged tightly as they met.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” YN smiled and gave her boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Me too baby.” Kirishima replied with a kiss on her cheek.

“My parents are out of town, so you won’t get to meet them. But there is someone really important to me that I want you to meet.” YN pulled away from him.

“Well I’m excited to meet them!”

YN smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the back of her house. Once they both stood in the grass, YN let go of his hand and Kirishima tilted his head in confusion. She brought her fingers to her mouth and let out a loud long whistle. The ground shook, something big was running toward them. Kirishima stood in shock and awe as he saw a giant Irish Shredder dog bounding over the hill. The dog stood excitedly in front of both teens, its large heavy tail thwapping on the ground.

“YN….” Kirishima asked breathlessly.

“Yea babe?” She responded.

“There’s a big old dog right in front of us.” Kirihsima didn’t know what to make of this.

“I know. His name is Clifford. I made him really big two years ago, when I was having a hard time mentally. He was my emotional support puppy, and now he is my big protector. Aren’t you my good boy!” YN skipped forward and rubbed the dog’s snout.

Kirishima laughed and walked forward tensely. He stood next to YN, and leant close to her ear as his eyes never left the dog. YN turned her head and smiled at her boyfriend, grabbing his hand to bring it up to the dog’s fur.

“He’s so big.”

“He’s the largest thing I made. Dad said he’s 7 meters.” YN explained as they both pet the dog. A moment passed then YN smirked to her boyfriend. “Wanna go for a ride?”

“Oh absolutely.”

~~~Later~~~

Both teens had rode the dog around the open field. They had taken full advantage of the dog’s size so that they could bound and jump around like adventurers. When Clifford had gotten tired, they decided to rest and leant against the dog’s leg. All three of them were lying down in the grass. YN rested her head on Kirishima’s shoulder, looking down fondly at a small flower in her hand. Soon the small white flower grew several sizes to fit her entire palm.

“So… you have this great quirk. To make things really big and stuff like that… why didn’t you try for the hero course?” Kirishima asked.

“I don’t want the pressure of being a hero. I like turning things I love big, so that they can keep me safe.” Kirishima turned his head at that.

“Do you feel unsafe?”

“Sometimes yea. All the bad news in the world makes me feel like something is gonna hurt me. When I was three, I was so scared of my closet that I grew my teddy so big it covered the closet door.” YN sighed and patted her dog’s tummy. “That’s why my parents got me Clifford. He was supposed to be an emotional support animal. Now he’s my bodyguard.”

“I’ll keep you safe babe!” Kirishima grabbed her hand. “I’ll be your shield against the dangers of the world, so that you never have to create your own guards ever again.”

“What about my dog?”

“He’ll help! Clifford will be my valiant steed against villainy!” Kirishima patted the dog, who boofed in laziness.

YN smiled and blushed, leaping forward to tackle her boyfriend in a hug. They laughed and rolled around, YN pulled back just a bit before planting a kiss on his lips. Their first kiss. He responded in earnest, wrapping his arms around her torso. Her kiss made his heart grow big with love.

Yes I did give YN Clifford. Wouldn’t you take the opportunity to have a big ol good boy as your friend??

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕 

#kirishima x reader #eijiro kirishima #mha kirishima #bnha x reader #mha x reader #different quirks #bnha #mha #kirishima ejiro x reader

[bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls]

This... Is BGNN

Things you might want to know, for Mar 23, 2023:

‘Choke Me Daddy:’ The Dangerous Truth About Breath Play Memes — If this were a “how to do breath play safely” piece —or even a “can breath play be done safely?” piece— it would be unremarkable. But it’s really just a carefully phrased clutching or pearls, with its journalistic sensibility established in its opening anecdote about how people don’t always mean the things they say online. That’s some keen insight, folks.

Low-rise denim shorts a poor choice for early spring wear — Depends on who’s wearing them.

Ai Weiwei’s Lego Version of Monet’s Water Lilies

Sex Worker-Led Payment Platform Shuts Down After Being Cut Off by Processor — If cryptocurrency can’t work for sex workers and erotica creators, then it’s utterly pointless.

Sex on the beach: pressures of extreme polygamy may be driving southern elephant seals to early death — It’s tough out there for an elephant seal pimp.

David Lynch knew how to make moments go viral before ‘going viral’ was a thing — He’s always known that art makes the biggest impact when it has a life outside the frame… when it infects the viewer and turns them into a semi-conscious collaborator. So… yeah.

Feral Hogs Are the Worst Invasive Species You've Never Thought About — You don’t have to convince me, buddy.

You’re Thinking About ‘Life’ All Wrong

Are Roblox’s new AI coding and art tools the future of game development? — This is genius on the part of the Roblox people. They’ve already made great strides toward turning game development into a casual activity, and generative AI will smooth the process even more.

Adobe made an AI image generator — and says it didn’t steal artists’ work to do it — The good: Adobe has trained their model using rights-cleared sources, so you can’t be sued for using their generated images. The less-good: I feel like the results should be viewed more like customizable clip art than some kind of human/machine collaborative painting… ultimately, Adobe owns the copyright to anything the model spits out. Even if they choose not to assert those rights… they have them.

Nick Lachey Ordered to Attend Alcoholics Anonymous, Anger Management After Altercation — Love is blind, like Nick’s rage.

How the Cinematography in ‘It Follows’ Trains You To Be Paranoid — We need to watch this on the stream… it’s a remarkable film.

Giant whale sinks 44-foot boat, sailors rescued — Whales are assholes.

'Pretty Baby' docuseries looks at Brooke Shields' controversial young fame — My older cousin somehow managed to get me into Blue Lagoon with her when I was a pre-teen… no telling how much flirting she had to do with the ticket-taker to pull that off.

ChatGPT comes for radio — Radio’s been dead for a long, long time, and ChatGPT is made up of the lifeless, stitched-together scraps of human existence. So it’s Frankenstein’s monster coming for a zombie.

Butters from South Park is getting the hero edit on TikTok — Let’s get this straight, motherfuckers: Butters is a hero everywhere, not just on TikTok.

★ It’s Game Over on Vocal Deepfakes — Yeah, as of now, audio recordings are no more reliable than signatures on a piece of paper or a pinky-promise.

Dancers Sue 7M Films Claiming Owner Runs a ‘Cult’ — I’ve gotta tell you, this feels like the least-fun sort of cult I can imagine. And I can imagine a lot of things about cults.

Amazon layoffs will shut down camera review site DPReview.com after 25 years — Amazon is demonstrating a shocking disregard here for an irreplaceable source of information.

#news

[spade-riddles]

Wait what originally made you think they had a girl again? I can’t remember that far back.

Tea 🍵 Time anon’s Primrose clue and the pink bows on her heels on Grammy night when Jerk posted a boy on his Instagram … these were the original clues for me. But so many more since. I am betting the babies name is Isla Rose 🌹.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Rooting for Ruby at the Box Office

The projections for the new DreamWorks picture have been shockingly low. Like, $7-8m for the three-day. That's an opening on par with SPIRIT UNTAMED, which lost money at the box office, as did BOSS BABY: FAMILY BUSINESS. Those both debuted in summer 2021, and Universal/DreamWorks wisely took those on the chin because most families weren't ready to head back to the flicks to see those, plus SPIRIT had a more limited audience anyways and didn't cost much.

RUBY GILLMAN, TEENAGE KRAKEN, as I expected, cost in the sub-$100m region. $70m to be exact...

I get that Universal has MARIO to promote in the first quarter of the year, and a lot of Oscar buzzing to do for THE LAST WISH, buuuuut... I think they *could've* at least **announced** RUBY GILLMAN officially to the world before its triple unveiling/poster/trailer drop back in March. All we animation fans had were small scooper sites and hints here and there, concept art leaks, DreamWorks animators having a "MEET THE GILLMANS" on their resumes a year in advance... This was literally announced, revealed to be a thing... Officially... Just 3 1/2 months before release. I figured, hey, they'll marathon-run this thing like they did with THE BAD GUYS. That $80m-costing picture had good legs (and less competition), and made $250m worldwide...

RUBY GILLMAN would have to make 2.5x its budget to break even, approximately $175m... Thankfully not steep of a number, compared to what ELEMENTAL has to strive for, but still...

Others have decried Universal releasing it so close to ELEMENTAL and SPIDER-VERSE, and on the same day as INDIANA JONES 5. Christopher Nolan apparently had enough leverage to make Universal *not* release anything too close to his OPPENHEIMER, before or after... Which tips my love/hate thing for Nolan closer to hate. Okay, not that strong of a word, but you know what I mean, right? Honestly, RUBY GILLMAN would've worked better as a mid-July release... Sometime between ELEMENTAL and MUTANT MAYHEM, ya know? Maybe BARBIE to compete with, too. Or, a late August/early September release. DreamWorks was no stranger to that with ABOMINABLE back in 2019, for example.

Either way, I hope the picture co-exists fine with everything else and has good legs. The 4th of July weekend should give it a better start than its 3-day, and if audiences say "yes" to it like they are with low-opening ELEMENTAL... Well, fingers crossed. It would suck to see a DreamWorks original flop like that. Until the day the industry realizes how absurd box office has become, I'm still going to root for animated pictures to make their money back at the box office.

Some say it's possible that it'll be like PUSS IN BOOTS and have ginormous legs, cat claws if you will. But... I don't see that, PUSS was something special that really took audiences by surprise. At the the movie theater I work at, I saw the screenings consistently get PACKED with people... Like, a month after its extremely soft opening. I saw PUSS the day after release day. December 22nd... There were maybe 5-6 other people in the theater? By early April... Still PACKED... That was a special record-breaking run few films can replicate...

I think RUBY GILLMAN pulls a good multiplier. Say it opens, 3-day, with $7m... To lowball... Then the 4th of July frame boosts it a bit. It's past $15m by the end of the week. I think it goes above $30-40m at least, domestically... Which isn't great... Maybe it goes even higher. We shall see. It all depends on how it plays worldwide, too. THE BAD GUYS made $96m here, $152m overseas for a grand total of $250m worldwide... Who knows, maybe colorful sea creatures will play better worldwide than L.A.-livin' heist criminal cartoon animals.

And if it loses? Again, it wouldn't seem to be too much of a write-down. Not a crushing loss, like, say LIGHTYEAR was for Pixar last year.