#AND STOP HURTING YOURSELF

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[gunsatthaphan]

"can I take your picture?"

#only friends #only friends series #only friends ep2 #ofts #neomark #bostonnick #nick x boston #neo trai #mark pakin #gmmtv #thai bl #bl drama #STOP that was so cute 😩 #nick little pose 🥺 #adorable #hes gonna get hurt so bad jdkhgdf im scared #boston control yourself ffs

[krotiation]

Feeling absolutely distraught over the face Rhys makes when he realizes just what he's gonna have to do to himself to cut Jack off

And Jack's face when he realizes that oh. This is actually happening. This is really it

#cant mansplain manspread manipulate yourself out of this one #one thing i will always love abt jacks writing is how you sorta get manipulated by him through the screen #despite knowing everything you know about him #and this scene + angels death segment is such good examples of that bc they really make you feel Bad #so imagine how rhysie feels when he has to literally rip jack out of his body right in front of him #while jack is pleading with him to stop #it doesnt matter that he tried to strangle him just moments ago because truly? things could have ended differently and thats what hurts most #and rhys is forced to learn that he cant “fix” jack or placate him enough to just let him go #rhack #txt #babe wake up new rhack ramble just dropped #im going insane

[notallsandmen]

If you think that Dream takes a tactless tone with Lyta in the series, I can tell you that it is even worse in the comics

Dream, why are you like this

Dream, I love you and you are only hurting yourself

#Dream my baby stop hurting yourself #dream of the endless #morpheus #lyta hall #hector hall #daniel hall #the sandman comics #sandman comics #the sandman spoilers #the sandman meta #sandman meta #neil gaiman #the sandman neil gaiman #the sandman

[alaynestone]

3.15 TIME IS ON MY SIDE 5.01 SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL

#spnedit #deanedit #samedit #megedit #in the first one sam sends the demon to hell (where we know the hurting can and does continue) in the second he has let them all out #and in both scenes dean is threatened with gang rape #like do you ever wanna lie down when you think about how he first couldn't stop dean from going to hell #and then the unintended consequences of his actions brought hell back to dean again #also the way he waits for dean's permission always gets me too. I'M SO SAD #supernatural #house afraid to be alone #whatever this is #the best torturers never get their hands dirty #you left part of yourself back in the pit #s3 #time is on my side #s5 #sympathy for the devil #samdeanedit #*

[meownotgood]

can't stop thinking about how soft aki treats you in bed. he's so gentle and careful, he asks before he does anything — can I take this off? or can I touch you here? — he makes you feel so safe when you're with him, so comfortable and so loved. making love with him is earnest and sweet and passionate, it's deep and slow; he leaves kisses on every inch of your skin he can reach, he presses his forehead to yours and laces his and your fingers together and holds onto you tight.

aki isn't used to feeling so vulnerable. he tears up every time, you run your fingers through his hair and he's crying but you're the best thing he's ever felt and he doesn't want to stop, not until he's made you feel good too; he buries his face in the nape of your neck and tells you he loves you. he holds out so he can finish alongside you, every time you gasp his name his heart beats harder and his body feels warmer and warmer. god, he's so in love with you, he'd give his life to make you happy and he wouldn't even think twice — aki chants soft little I love you's into your ear with a shaky voice and holds you like he never wants to let go.

#he'd be terrified the first time he does it with you because he doesn't want to hurt you #he's shaking and breathing hard and he asks you if you're okay so many times you have to tell him to stop worrying so much #I think aki makes you feel really good about yourself #he tells you how beautiful you are #he shows you how much you mean to him with his careful and patient touches #hahaha.... insane hour right now..... ahaha..... #I need him to make me feel better... to treat me so softly..... #ehehee.... aa..... a. a.... #slowly losing it #aki <3 #aki hayakawa x reader #aki x reader

[icyheart-and-friends]

Please, for the love of gods, allow yourself to consume content/media uncritically

You can be aware of issues a show/game/movie/etc has but you don't need to be aware of it *all* the time, you shouldn't have to justify yourself liking it every time you go to talk about it.

You shouldn't have to feel like you're the worst person in the world just because you like something that happens to have problematic stuff in it.

And you're setting yourself up for failure if you go into something immediately looking for all of the bad in it, you're setting yourself up to be unable to enjoy it! And if you do manage to enjoy it it'll likely just feel wrong because of that!

I'm begging y'all not to consume *everything* critically and to sometimes enjoy things uncritically.

#its so fucking easy to end up demonizing yourself just because you like media thst isnt deemed “good” #i only just recently realized how fucking guilty id feel admitting i like watching helluva boss to other people outside of my circle. or #feeling thr need to warn people about the heavy racism in baldur's gate 3 for the fear of being seen as an awful person for praising the #game despite thst in it. fuck i even feel bad admitting i like watching law and order special victims unit bc of its content and how often #it just goes- *wrong* but like- i realized a lot of that is bc my brain and my ocd are constantly trying to take content in critically. #trying to always shame it bc its “bad” either bc of its content or its creators and thus my ocd has a field day of turning thst around to #meam that *im* bad because i enjoy it. which isnt fucking true. i enjoy iy #which isnt true. i can know stuff is not good/great for various reasons but i can still enjoy it without that inherently make me bad #anyway bc this is tumblr im already expecting people to try to twist my words and intents to make this seem like s horrible thing #idc atm bc my head hurts from trying to just exist and relearn how to enjoy stuff without fucking purity culture and my ocd shame watching #me lile a fuckin hawk #cant wait to see how freeing it feels tho once i stop giving as much of a fuck/worry

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[toffeecoco1]

I see vampire!Hua Cheng a lot and like. I get it. It makes sense. Aesthetically, it works. But that doesn't mean I agree.

The whole theme for vampires is taking. And for Xie Lian, Hua Cheng does nothing but give. Literally. Their spiritual energy transfers are kind of the opposite of how vampires work.

So instead, I raise you vampire!Xie Lian. He's a vampire who never drinks from humans, and would rather let himself starve. He exclusively drinks animal blood, even if it tastes bad, even if it's stale. He's terrified of hurting someone.

And he meets human Hua Cheng. And at some point they're in a situation™ together, and Xie Lian hasn't gotten his hands on animal blood in days. He's clearly not doing well. Hua Cheng knows he will protest, but he also can't see him like this. So, without saying a word, he draws a cut across his hand and holds it up to Xie Lian's lips.

#hualian #tgcf #xie lian #hua cheng #hualian headcanon #vampire!xie lian #heaven official's blessing #hc's entire relationship dynamic with xl is about GIVING and that is so important to me #this came to my mind bcos my flatmate briefly mentioned astarion and i just started daydreaming about vampires #anyway #obsessed with xie lian being like “no i won't hurt anyone. dont help me” #and hc being like “no. stop hurting yourself. i WILL help you”

[hayaku14]

kuroba toichi you need to stay dead or im going to fucking kill you myself

#you sick son of a bitch #if you truly love your son you wouldnt be alive #it's bad enough that you basically left the mantle for your teenage son to take up but you actually being alive???????? #you just out there living your life while your son is destroying his relationships chasing after something that you started???????? #his very motivation is your death and it's not even real??? the utter fucking betrayal??? #and maybe being kid has kade him a better magician and has helped him find out more about himself #but he shouldve been able to have a choice if he even wanted to be kid at all it shouldnt have been a responsibility pushed upon him #AND IF YOU ARE FUCKING ALIVE AND YOU'RE JUST WATCHING YOUR SON RUNNING AWAY FROM THE POLICE WITH PRIDE INSTEAD OF GUILT YHEN YOU CAN #GO FUCK YOURSELF #Honestly the worst #also that theory that maybe chikage is travelling the world because she KNOWS toichi is alive and she's with her elevates this fuckery into #a whole different level #anyway go read cuethesun's tomorrow and the next day #good fucking food and bad parent chikage and toichi enjoyers will be pleased ;> #lol #dc prattles #as much as i want happy everybody is alive kuroba family #i need touichi and chikage if she knows too to feel the repercussions of their horrible parenting and i need kaito to be able to let himself #feel the hurt and betrayal that he is justified to feel even if he is happy that his dad is alive #but i dont trust gosho to handle that nicely if anything i think hes gonna just handwave it and wont address it properly #anyway my point is i just need more hurt and angry kaito also if shinichi is there im happy #sorry i sneaked in a kaishin i cant stop the brainrot unfortunately theres no cure 🤚😔 #ALSO DONT GET ME STARTED WITH BAD PARENT KUDOS OOOOOHHHH

[threadsun]

Hey real quick request:

Can yall try to be normal about sex work and nonmonogamy/people who aren't virgins?

The number of asks I get that censor sex work related terms, use outdated and offensive terms, and act like it's something secret and to be ashamed of is unacceptable. Sex work is work. We don't keep random VHS copies of our own pornos in our houses. We aren't "spoiled" or "ruined" because we have sex with colleagues for the camera, and it's not something that should inspire jealousy in any reasonable person. I will never make the boys anything but fully supportive of sex work, and I will not change my Joseph's backstory as a full service survival sex worker just because it "ruins him for you". Grow the fuck up and be normal about the fact that even if you personally are a virgin, not everyone is and that doesn't make them incapable/unworthy of love or devotion or commitment. Casual sex is not abnormal or something you need to psychoanalyse a character about. Just. Please be normal about sex and sex work, all you're doing is making yourself look like an asshole.

#sunshine #I'm tired of waking up every other day to weird and offensive asks about reader or the boys doing sex work #I'm tired of people trying to psychoanalyse Jean for occasionally having casual sex before he met his sweetheart #I'm tired of people acting like virginity is an important thing or a measure of worth #I'm tired of people acting like a character ever having had sex with anyone else ever somehow ruins them #I'm tired of monogomy being seen as a requirement for full devotion and true love (and yanderes) #just get your shit together and stop projecting your weird virginity and purity bullshit onto me #you just look like an inexperienced dumbass who needs to learn to be normal about sex real quick before you hurt yourself or others #I don't care if you're a virgin that is No Fucking Excuse to be weird about other people's healthy sex lives

[princessefemmelesbian]

Well would you look at this. 😵‍💫 Because obviously if you dare say anything as wild and controversial as “lesbians don’t like men, please stop using a label that hurts us and tries to force men into our identity” you’re a raging terf radfem transmisogynist. Because obviously ONLY trans women use the bi lesbian label and it’s not like there are transfem lesbians who are rightfully against the label as well or anything and it’s not like terfs use the label to refer to cis lesbians who date trans women and why can’t you just let people identify as how they want of course lesbians like men stop the infighting already if you disagree with me that lesbians can like men then surely that’s because you’re an exclusionist gatekeeper who hates trans women.

#lesbian #anti-bi lesbian #trans women #lesbophobia #the raging hatred for lesbians on this site is getting to an all-time high tall will stop at NOTHING to gaslight us and make us out to be #hateful terf bitches for our sexuality #how many times are we going to do this same old song and dance #no i will not calm down i will be taken seriously #you CANNOT be a bi women as a lesbian idfc if you’re trans or cis #lesbians do not like men and bi women shouldn’t have to ‘oick a side’ by calling themselves lesbians #it’s absurd maddening and sad how little y’all respect us #and trans women always have a place in the lesbian community that doesn’t mean that ACTUAL MEN DO #shit #trying to frame this as ‘well you must be a terf if you are against bi lesbians’ is a shitty move and you’re not being original or clever #go fuck yourself #trans lesbians exist and are valid and the bi lesbian label hurts them just like it hurts cis lesbians if anything it hurts them more so #and i will block ANYONE who supports bi lesbians it doesn’t matter if they’re a trans woman a cis woman a trans man non-binary etc idfc #stop trying to frame this as exclusionary radfem rhetoric #bi lesbian as a term DOES support corrective rape idgas what lesbophobes like you want to say about it #that’s all goodbye #sorry but this got me mad you do not get to use transmisogyny as a clutch to spout blatant ass lesbophobia #i’m so tired of this shit #blocklist #op

[jarchaeology]

Wait why didn’t he like you? And he agreed to go out on a date? Sorry I’m being nosy!

it was the first day of college and he was hanging out with this dude i knew from myspace 😂. the myspace dude asked if i was in the advanced writing class. i said “no, i’m in the class for idiots.” ya know, because i was super insecure about it.

WELL, turns out the cute guy standing next to him - aka my future husband - was also placed in that class. in fact, it was something he was EXTREMELY sensitive about. so here i was, on the first day of college, telling him and his new friend that he was in the class exclusively for stupid people. 😬

but yeah, he did give me a chance. his dad told him to.

#the lesson is to stop publicly dunking on yourself because it hurts and you also don’t know who you’re dragging down with you

[wannab-urs]

if pedro doesn’t put his god damn sling back on i’m gonna break his shoulder again

#gin scolds pedro #bitch you keep hurting yourself #stop #pedro pascal

[scholarofgolb]

one thing low self esteem will do to you is that it will convince you that no one could possibly value their relationship with you or even on a lighter level like. thinking people don't care about anything you say and that your words don't have impact on people. and what that leads to is you being completely unaware when you hurt other peoples feelings and being unable to consider how something you view as innocuous or funny could be hurtful and mean to someone else. like even if you have a hard time understanding that you have value as a person you have to understand that you have a lot of control of the way you effect other people and no one is intrinsically aware of what is going on in your head. you've got to care about other people and think about what's going on for them and yes empathy is hard but empathy can be learned. and sometimes u gotta figure it out and teach it to yourself.

#big thing for me in my late teens was realizing all of this #it was like probably the most valuable thing i took out of adolescence #which i thought because i had social anxiety and was so concerned about other people hating me that i couldn't possibly be low empathy #but i was! and i had to deal with it! #stop asking other people 'are you mad at me' and start asking yourself 'how might they have interpreted that? could that have been hurtful? #and youll realize that it might have been! and thats the most horrible gut wrenching feeling ever #but there's this wonderful thing called apologizing and explaining yourself and reminding people that you love + value them #and if ur me that means sometimes youll apologize for something and ur friend will be like 'i dont even know what ur talking about LOL' #but it also means sometimes your friend will feel welcome to have productive conversations about how you make eachother feel #and thats really what helps form lasting relationships tbh

[asteralien]

i can't speak for every mentally ill person but i don't think "don't self-deprecate! it makes everyone around you feel bad :(((" is necessarily the all-encompassing bandaid slam-dunk you think it is.

#'you feel bad about yourself? well now you're making ME feel bad too :(' #wow not only do i not hate myself less i might hate myself for a few bonus reasons! cool. thanks 👍 #i just think that this toxic positivity trend of making one person's mental illness everyone else's problem #and the answer to mental illness is to just think of everyone you're inconveniencing/hurting by being mentally ill #which will absolutely motivate you to stop being mentally ill #is............ well! i'm sure it works for some people! #aster chat #i'm not saying that mentally ill people should not or cannot take responsibility for things #but i think people don't realize that some mental illnesses' problem is that it makes people take Too much responsibility #which is in fact. overwhelming. #you can't guilt someone into not being chronically guilty