#Although Anna getting dumped would be kinda sad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

durotoswrites · 3 years

Note

For the writing meme thingy: 🍄how do you get yourself in the mood to write? 🍑 do you/would you write smut? 📒 any fics planned?

🍄 How do you get yourself in the mood to write?

Getting in the mood to write and actually wanting to sit down and start writing are two very different things, but they're connected, so I'll explain both.

To set into “creative mode” it helps me to do these things:

Listen to music that makes me think of a character/situation in my story/stories. I've got playlists separated by character and pairing. Sometimes I also just work on curating those playlists for fun and get my brain going.

Bounce overall ideas off of my friends and husband/editor (but he's my best friend, too 💗)

Reread old chapters or recent ones and future snippets based on what I want to do.

Once I actually want to put words down, I get a little more strict with myself. I get distracted verrrry easily sometimes and I have to fight the urge to open a million more tabs when researching a small detail.

I move to instrumental music (I have playlists for different moods like “emotional”, “soft”, “sad”, etc. I usually listen to “soft” as a general soothing background sound, as I can get pretty dang emotional when I write, especially with the stuff I've been churning out lately.

So, yeah, I need tissues within reach if I get upset. (Wow, I'm not making this sound fun at all, lmao)

After sound has been established, I like to eat a snack (something with protein) because I can be under for hours, lol. Eat it and finish it. Otherwise, I get distracted.

I also like to have drinks available. I always have a bottle of water, but I also like having a hot cup of tea. I think it's the time of year for me to switch to cold barley tea.

I write while seated on a recliner with my feet up. I have my laptop on a lap desk and it's a pretty cozy setup.

I basically try to remove any excuse I have to get up once I start writing, because I am the worst procrastinator I know.

🍑Do you/would you write smut?

Heheh... heck yeah, I do. Waaaaay more than most people realize. Stuff I've actually posted? It's pretty limited. I posted a couple pieces (Let Me Love You and You're Like the Sunshine) a few years ago, but I've been practicing ever since. One of my planned stories literally has what I refer to as a “smut dump” in the draft where I've been experimenting with writing different moods. I like the intimate scenes to play a role in the overall plot or have it be a bonding experience.

Despite that, I do have a shameless Gray x Mary story I should just get out there that has zero plot, just two cuties in love. In my mind it's so naughty and kinky and I get flustered thinking about it (Mary is hot, okay?), but it's probably hella vanilla, lmao. I really am grateful that people have been really supportive about my writing smut despite what I usually write, and they've been so encouraging, too! I honestly feel like the smut I've posted is really stilted because I was so self-conscious about it. I don't feel like they are terrible for first attempts, but I have definitely grown more comfortable writing it.

Will The Shy Newcomer become explicit? I kinda really want it to, but I might separate the chapters for those who don't care for that content. Overall, I'd like to write more and post more, and I want to write more than just male x female smut as well. I have some of those in my planned pieces (more about them later).

📒 Any Fics Planned?

Firstly, I'm super tickled more than one person was interested in this. I copied the answer I wrote earlier.

Short answer: Yes. I also plan to bring more of my stories over from ffn to Ao3.

Long answer under the cut, heheh. I rambled quite a bit.

Ask me about my writing processes and stories!

I have so many WIPs that haven’t been touched in years that I’d like to finish, so new planned fics aren’t posted yet. Some of them have more adult themes than most of the stuff I’ve been writing, so I get flustered sharing them. I’ve been at a crossroads, as I feel that you can’t have growth without changing things up. On the other hand, I feel like a lot of my readers associate my works with a specific “wholesome” feel-good mood. It’s kinda nice to be known for something, although that might just be my ego talking, thinking that people recognize my work as a “type”.

Regardless, in the end, I feel growth is necessary.

I don’t want to leave a lot of unfinished WIPs waiting because they stress me out and I have too many of them already, so I’d like to have a bulk of my new stories with a good chunk written before I decide to post them.

Among those include:

A longfic featuring Pete’s farm in Forget-Me-Not Valley (A blend of HMDS with the FoMT plugin and AWL). It takes place in the same universe as The Shy Newcomer (Claire in Mineral Town) and there are a few overlapping moments, although Pete’s story starts first. Pete’s personality is verrry different from Claire’s, and his story was kind of supposed to be the yang to TSN’s yin. Pete’s best friends in his story are Ruby (not sure if I’m adding Tim yet), Nami, and Rock. Readers will be treated to a poorly-socialized pre-Mineral Town Cliff (if you think he was bad at the beginning of TSN, well… heh… he’s a wreck here).

Another planned unpublished story is a crossover of Harvest Moon and the movie “In This Corner of the World”, based on a manga of the same name by Fumiyo Kouno. It was written as a gift for a friend. I have the entire outline figured out and have slowly been filling it in. My friend asked for an AU where Claire and Cliff have an arranged marriage and live with his family in Akiyama, the hometown I had created for Cliff in The Shy Newcomer. I took the opportunity to expand the characters in his family. I have it written during the same time period and society as “In This Corner of the World”, but had decided to write a spreading disease as an allegory for war, but then COVID happened and some parts of it just got really hard to write. There are also a lot of sexually explicit content as Claire slowly grows and learns from her spouse that it’s okay to express what she wants despite sex being a taboo issue. If there’s enough interest in the story, I’ll post it, but I worry it’s a little too niche for there to be many people into it.

Pastor Carter and Doctor Trent are one of my favorite rare pair ships. I’ve had a partial draft for a story about them for a few years now, especially focusing on Trent growing up and acknowledging that he has an unhealthy addiction for things that he knows he can’t have. There are some more adult/sexual themes in this piece, too, including the main character lusting after a married woman (who also happens to be his patient) and some lemons. (Does anyone call it that anymore or is it just referred to as “smut” nowadays? Haha) I always feel so bad for neglecting the folks at the clinic in-game and wanted to write a piece that focused more on them, Trent specifically. It’s a multi-chap fic, but I don’t think I’m going to let it get as long as some of my other pieces.

I also really want to write a short romantic oneshot for every marriage candidate in Mineral Town, around 1,000 words each. So far, I have one for Cliff and one for Gray. I want to write Claire with everyone, because I think it would be fun to explore all the different personalities.

I have more installments planned for A Single Day, including a day in the life of the following characters, all with drafts in varying degrees of progress:

Anna

Doug

Nora (yes, I’m writing from the point of view of the cat living at the inn)

More to come – I think Lillia and Thomas would be especially interesting to explore

I do still have that Legend of Zelda Majora’s Mask piece I’ve been pondering where Link befriends the soul of the deku scrub child while possessed by the mask. I don’t have much written about it, but I really love the world of Majora’s Mask. Such a fun game.

I also think about the lead carpenter’s son in Ocarina of Time and that weird side quest involving the blue chicken and the son being lost to the forest. Then that unique-looking kokiri girl explaining that all who get taken in the lost woods become stalfos. Like, did the guy die? Was he sick? Did he want to die? There’s just so much going on there that would be fun to explore.

I also have played OMORI recently and have like… A LOT of feelings about it. I don’t know what I’d write, but I’m still damn impressed at how well the characters are developed in such a short game.

Other games I’ve had vague ideas about writing for include the following:

The Flame in the Flood: I’m thinking a survivalist/action story fleshing out Scout’s backstory a bit more and her thoughts as she’s traveling. I feel like she’s a very lonely person, but isn’t given the chance to really dwell on it.

Night In the Woods: I’d love to write more about Mae’s dreams and what they mean to her. She doesn’t really talk to anyone about them openly, so it’s really hard to tell her feelings about them in some regards. We know that she’s distressed about them, but I’d like to dive a little deeper. Do the nightmares end after the games does? What about Bea’s new nightmares?

Hades (Supergiant Games): I think it would be fun to write more about the events that take place before the game starts, like Zagreus’s duties in the house of Hades, and expand on the strained relationship with his father.

#ask games #writing #jake-marshall

23 notes · View notes

sloppy-butcher · 4 years

Note

Hey buddy bro you got any good stuff for the huntress? Like in a relationship with a survivor 👀👀??

heyo friend, chum, buddy, buck-a-ree-no! hope you are well! you KNOW i always got that good stuff for you<33

thank you for the request! first huntress post coming right up!!

OKAY OKAY hear me out, i kinda turned it into a fic-let thing soooooo also NSFW under cut for a female because, let's be real, she's a lesbian.

HeadCanons for The Huntress (Anna) with a survivor! S/O

Anna is the very definition of touch-starved. This fact has probably been stated before, but honey let me tell you, Anna craves physical contact. Expect long, suffocating bear hugs that would crush your ribcage and hurt your back. Frequent pickups, strong hands clasping you under your arms and effortlessly swinging you around as if you were a doll. But most importantly, expect the constant holding of hands. Anna always wants to know you are there, that you are warm and that you aren’t leaving her. She will insist that you hold her hand at all times. If she’s sharpening her weapon, you will be next to her. If she is craving a new mask for either herself or you, you will be next to her. You must always be there. If you happen to stray too far from her she will call for you. Her voice is very loud and even though she shakes the raindrops from the trees with the sheer volume of her shout, there is a genuine worry in her tone. She cares for you deeply and worries even more.

She will shower you in all types of animal skins. “You look cold, little one.” She’d comment in her thick Russian voice. Without warning, she would drown you in only the thickest and warmest pelts she had on hand. Some were the victories of past battles with elks or bears and others were from more exotic animals, like tigers and lions, that the Entity had given to Anna as a reward for her hard work. She’d have you sit down and would spend nearly half an hour arranging the furs around your body, making sure every inch of you was covered, save for your face which would stick out from the pile like a white mushroom on the forest floor. When she was content Anna would sigh, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side so as to get a better look at you. She’d then mercilessly pepper bunny kisses over your exposed face knowing full well you couldn’t do shit to stop her.

Your relationship started when Anna took a great liking to you. Observing you in a trial made her heart yearn. To her, you were so small and in need of protection. But she couldn’t do that, not while the sky spider watches. She sees you again and again and her infatuation with you grows exponentially every time. So small. So lost.

One night, when Anna was performing her routine boundary inspection, she came across the most peculiar sound. People. There were people talking in a language she did not know just beyond her realm in the forest. She had never willingly left her own place during the off-time, mainly because she had no idea what lay beyond the darkness. But the voices she heard, so friendly and laughing, Anna felt complied to check it out. She stumbled upon a group of survivors who all scattered like rats when they caught sight of her shadow. In the panic to escape someone got pushed to the side. Anna stepped forward to hopefully see the fallen survivor better when suddenly you called out. She attention immediately snapped to you. She almost couldn’t believe it. The person crawled away and traded his place with you. You’re all she wanted.

She dragged you home kicking and screaming, crying bloody murder until you felt wood and rug on your back. She had brought you inside her cabin and pulled you to the corner where a rope connected to the wall hung limp and empty. She contemplated it for a moment. All the pretty things she tied to this wall died. And you were such a pretty thing, she wanted to keep you. But you’d die just like the ones before. You watched her standing over you, black eyes as deep and meaningful as oceans. You had never seen her in this light before. She was rough for sure, but the way she was acting towards you right now puzzled you. She never pulled her weapon out on you, never threatened you nor gave you any reason to fear her. She was acting like a child unaware of her strength and power over you. She felt lonely. Desperate even.

“I’ll come back.” You managed a soft whisper, reaching a shaking hand up and touching her wrist. She looked down at you and, after a moment's thought, dropped you. Slamming to the floor you shuffled away from her half expecting the Huntress to lunge at you like a wild animal. She only watched, shoulders lowered slightly and breathing slow. She knew she couldn’t actually keep you. You were sky-spiders food. She wasn’t stupid. It was a fruitless endeavor, she could never keep you. “I’ll come back.” You tried again. She cocked her head at your voice. Did she even understand you? She looked so sad, how could you pity such a powerful and deadly woman?

“Back?” She barked catching you off guard. Blinking you nod. Anna severely doubted you’d keep your promise to her, you looked scared the same way those pretty things did when they died tied to her wall. But she couldn’t keep you. Imagine her surprise when you did show up again, hesitantly stalking the tree border. She rushed you and from that moment onwards you two were inseparable.

NSFW Lady has huge hands. Course, brittle fingers that seek the softness of untouched skin. Because she grew up basically on her own, Anna has no concept of boundaries so expect a lot of wandering hands, grasping thighs, ass, and anything else with the grace and strength of a famished grizzly bear. She’d never go under your clothes however, Anna has some semblance of decency. When eventually you offer her the chance to touch skin uncovered, she nearly stops breathing.

Because she has no sense of personal space, Anna has no shame when it comes to revealing herself to you. You’d walk in one day and find her stark naked changing her outfit. She’d greet you, turning around to give you the complete view of herself, smiling as if nothing was wrong. This lack of shame also extends to baths. Although rare in the realm of the Fog, on occasion Anna likes to bathe. In a corner of her realm stand an empty tub which over time builds up in water from the constant rainy weather. When it fills Anna washes herself. WIth you now in her life, she insists you join her. You couldn’t deny that the idea of a nice warm bath wasn’t tempting so you agreed. What you didn’t expect was that Anna meant to bath with you at the same time.

She undressed, your eyes averted and face red, and practically tsumani’d into the tub sending liters of water gushing out. “Come! Come!” She beckoned to you, waving a hand. You stuttered a piss-poor excuse and attempted an escape but you weren’t fast enough and a large hand quickly pulled you into the water. Gasping for air after being so unceremoniously dumped you scolded Anna for wetting you clothes. She gave you a side-eye as if saying ‘Well, why didn’t you take them off?’ Hesitantly you did, throwing them to the side hoping they’d be dry by the time you were done. Once naked yourself you felt very small. Anna had you in her lap, your back to her chest, and her legs on either side of you.

She set to work scrubbing your back and when she was satisfied, hummed her pleasure and leaned forward pressing herself on to you. Finally downing your embarrassment you offered to wash her hair. Turning around to face her, Anna lowered her head and allowed you to wash her short black hair. As you did so you felt hot eyes staring you directly at your exposed breasts. Anna leaned forward again and gently placed her forehead to your chest, rising and falling with your breathing. A hand snaked its way up your thigh and to your ass and firmly hold you in place, offering you support in your awkward position. She was solid, comforting in her hold over you.

#another big lady #god she is huge #a beautiful #dbd headcanons #dbd x reader #dbd the huntress #dbd the huntress x reader #dbd anna

118 notes · View notes

aestheticsuwu · 3 years

Text

🌅Found Peace In Your Violence 🌅

Dean Winchester x Castiel

..... ..... ......... ....... ............ ....... .......

Moving to a new place for a new start was always hard for Castiel . He wasn't really a people person , not because he didn't like them . It was just that his " people skills " are " rusty " as he likes to say .

His mother and Father liked to adopt & foster until they divorced .

Father had gotten custody of everyone and got remarried to Becky , my mother used to call her the annoying , crazy ,bitch etc , etc . He wonders how she's doing , she wasn't quite the best mother but he still remembers everyone that comes and goes from his life .

His family was weird , they weren't like other family's. It always seemed to be a competition among each other . It even caused almost half his siblings to leave and never look back . Anna is probably living the craziest life with no rules .

Balthazer is probably running a fashion line . Or maybe there all with Lucifer breaking the rules and rebelling to everything. Although he thinks Balthazar would have gone far away from those three . He was the one he miss the most .

Father doesn't like talking about them , maybe he doesn't cares . We were after all kids he took in his home to create a batallion of soldiers that's what Gabriel says all the time . It was now 9 members of the family that was left . His Father , Becky , their son Alfie , Michael the oldest , Gabriel the trickster, Eileen Leahy his favorite sister , she was the last child to be recruited from the foster house . I was the youngest one from the rest of the herd .

..... ..... .....

His Mother was the first to go , should he still call her that . Once the divorce papers was filed , Naomi packed her stuff and slammed the door shut . Castiel waited for her to come back that night . Hours went by but she never came back .

Anna soon left after , She had left in there middle of the night .

Father wasn't upset he just announced that we should move soon .

3 week before moving , dad and Raphael had a fight . Father faced him and gave him ultimatum, it had seemed for a while everything was alright . But Lucifer had other plans ,he had managed to convince raph that he shouldn't listen to father .

The move was cancelled , and when Gabriel had started prank wars against everyone Father wasn't even there to ground him . Balthazar told his siblings that he would soon move out he was 18 after all . He talked about his dreams , plans and adventures . Michael and lucifer didn't sticked around to listen only Gabriel, Eileen, and him .

He promised that every time he would go visit a different place he would bring back souvenirs . And once he was stabled they would take a family trip together .

In their last hug castiel didn't want to let go , something told him that he wasn't gonna see him anymore .

When he was 15 , standing near the porch in front the house waiting for Balthazar to appear until father shouted his name . They had to get on the road to head to their new home . All he could do was hold Eileen and Gabriel's hand .

..... ... .....

Everything was calm , other than the fear of not knowing if you were the next victim of Gabriel's prank list .

Eileen was teaching him to get better at sign language . Michael was going to college while Lucifer was only 17 but seemed no to be interested in school . Becky had Alfie. Silence didn't exist in the household .

. And for once he had a friend , He was kinda surprised she stucked around.

Her name was Kelly Kline , she was in the debate team and a Straight A student . He met her through Eileen . He understood why they both got along . Both were strong minded girls and didn't let anybody tell them shit .

Kelly wanted to make a change and she wanted both Eileen and him to help her . And to this day he doesn't understand why the world took her away soon .

She was pretty , she had raven hair and had a kind smile . She taught him good things can come out of the bad things . She made him want to do things he normally wouldn't do .

So he honestly didn't understand what she saw in Lucifer. They would constantly bicker but yet they were together . Eileen would just let him rant about bees because she preferred that instead of seeing him wallow .

Gabriel would often give him advice that would make her be interested but it usually involve some porno Gabe once watched . And Castiel usually didn't know If he was kidding or not .

But then suddenly His brother and best friend broke up . Kelly wanted to go out and forget she ever dated an asshole . Lucky for her They were invited to a party .

He doesn't quite remember that much of that night .

" Are you sure you want to do this . I think we are extremely intoxicated and not in our right minds . And we might doing a mistake that we will regret , I'm not saying I regret making out with you cause your an amazing girl I have ever meet besides Eileen but that's different cause she's my sister and I don't think of her that way , And now I made this so awkward by bringing up m- "

A hand covering his mouth making him stop ranting . looking up to see her , and the fear he once had just vanished just by looking at her smile

" Castiel ! There are alot of regrets that I have done including that I ever got involve with that douchebag . I just want to make a choice that I know won't end up as a mistake . "

..... ...... .....

That choice was inevitable to hide , not because both Kelly and castiel started a somewhat relationship . It was revealed on a Thursday that Kelly was pregnant .

Lucifer was never one take responsibility for his actions , so he told her to get rid of it .

" yeah I'm not planning to do some father bonding or give up my plans for a baby that might not even be mine . Hey you can't lie and deny that you haven't been jumping back and forth with Novak brothers . But wow really castiel , but look at the bright side you can dump all that responsibility to him . He will believe anything - ".

The sound of the slap that Kelly gave him echoed but it wasn't enough so she kneed him on the balls and lastly punched him .

" I hope you rot in hell , "

That was the last conversation she had with him when Eileen told her he had left the house .

... ..... ..... ..... ....

Father never showed how it affected him when his children left . But now that Lucifer left , he started to drink again and he looked sad .

He shook it off when it had been a week later . It seemed a good time to mention someone pregnancy. Father didn't think the same , he was quite mad , especially when it was revealed that they weren't sure who the father was . He remained calm afterwards when they all agreed it was 90 percent Lucifers .

Castiel was only 18 and now left with the mess of his own brother .

Once he graduated he stopped seeing Kelly for 5 months . Eileen would lecture him how he was being a bad friend , how he should be more supportive. He let 2 more months pass by and he couldn't help but ask Eileen how was Kelly doing .

That's how he end up in her room , Kelly was glowing . She had belly bump , He apologized for not being by her side , for letting their friendship tumble down the drain . She forgave him , discussing what they had missed . Avoiding the topic of the elephant of the room , until the baby kicked .

Castiel loved the baby already .

..... ..... .....

They never really tackled in depth of truth of who was the father . Castiel didn't put mind into it , since he felt the baby move he doesn't know how to explain it . it was like epiphany , a connection.

So he soon took the role , he read books , used the internet , asked some questions from Becky that rambled on and on but he still got information he needed . In favor that he would learn and be ready when his baby would come . He helped Becky with Alfie , at first it was hard but then it was fine

" your gonna be alright , you got this castiel . "

" I hope so . "

... .... ..... .... .... .... .....

It happened so fast , his mind was so confused one second he's in bed and then he's at the hospital . Every time she would scream of pain he felt bad . his hand was hurting from the way she was holding it .She held a grimace from every contraction .

" It hurts so much , I don't think I can't do it . Ahhh baby you have to go easy on mommy . "

She screamed again of agony , she hold his hand tighter as if it would help from the pain .

" You can , your strong and soon we will be at home I'll be taking care of our baby while you rest and sleep . How does that sound ? "

" That sounds like the best idea "

..... ...... ...... ....

He feels like he failed , he could've done something or maybe done something different . He didn't think Kelly would leave him , she promised no to . He guess it wasn't a coincidence, life seemed to take everything from him .

Today was supposed to be the happiest day in his life . Now he's holding onto his siblings , crying seemed it would help but the feeling wouldn't go away .

" Its gonna be alright cassie , it's gonna get better . "

He really hoped Gabe was right .

...

He was following the nurses that was leading him to his baby . He didn't even got to see his newborn , it just happened to fast .

The nurse open the door wide to let him pass , his hands were shaking waiting for her directions .

" Here they are , seems like they were waiting for dad to come see them . Congratulations Mr Novak and I'm sorry for you loss ."

stunned he couldn't answer , he had his eyes only for them . he heard the door close he assumed she left to give him privacy . Tears started to build up but of happiness.

" We're gonna be ok , I will do my best because your all I got . I love you so much , Mommy loved you so much but she had to go rest . I think she deserves it , how ironic how she always said there was an angel watching you over . Now you do , . "

Chuckling , as he wipes away his tears trying to compose himself . Letting out a shaky breath he starts speaking again .

" I guess is time to give you a name , bear this in mind when the time comes be thankful I didn't give you a horrendous name . You in the other hand are lucky because Kelly had already picked out one for you . "

Smiling as they both made a noise that seemed they were going along with him on the conversation.

.... ..... .

" I'm so ready to meet my nephew !! , I'm so excited !!! "

" shhh " " shhhhhhh"

"shh " " Shhh " "sHhhh"

It wasn't like Gabriel was screaming , sheesh these people sometimes , ready to respond he stays quiet when he sees his brother motioning his family to come closer .

" Say Hello to Jack and Claire Novak . "

.... ..... ..... ..... ... .....

His kids were his pride and young , he will admit he struggled at first but with the help of his siblings he catched on . They had already turned two , they were growing so fast . Both are so smart and beautiful .

Claire with her beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair that were in pigtails in the moment . She was a troublemaker but love her endlessly. Jack is his small bee , he was tiny and adorable . The kid loves nougat , he blames it on Gabriel. He also had blonde hair but he had golden eyes .

He wants the best for his kids , thats why he was contemplating on Gabriel's plan to move .

Gabe was planning to open another bakery ,

since his last three was successful and was trying expand his work . Father was quite happy with Gabriel , he helped with everything he could do . As usual Gabe took advantage and stacked up on candy , his response was always with

" he won't even notice , he has enough and more . So shut up and help me decided between those two , who am i kidding Im taking both . "

Eileen was going with Gabriel, something about a fresh start . Michael was only going to keep an eye on his siblings , Fathers orders . And his big brother isn't one to disobey , he was gonna get paid for babysitting gabe . His study's are kept on hold until father says so .

Castiel didn't know what to do . He was a highschool dropout , father of fraternal twins , relying with the money of his father and it wasn't like someone is waiting for him here .

Maybe this would do him good and for his kids .

Gabriel went full on screamed of joy that he had accepted, screaming that they were gonna have a blast . Michael was boxing their stuff fully knowing the trickster of his brother wouldn't do it , he turns to look at the youngest giving him a pointed look .

..... ..... ..... ...

Gabriel was full on rambling of why he choose the location . He wanted a challenge and one of the many things he loves to do is

1: Himself

2:Candy

3: Pranks

4: proving Dad wrong

Once the trickster told his father his plans , he told him no . To him is practically a Yes , he wasn't planning getting him self involved , oh well you gotta do what you gotta do .

Michael was pissed but hey he could just for once say no to dad . Eileen and Castiel and his nephew coming along was the best thing of the trip . He might even admit that he's kinda glad dad forced his big bro to come along .

The perks of having a wealthy father is that they had everything solved . Airplane . Check . Ride CHECK. House check . Moving Truck . Check . Schelduing everything on the same date ...........

It wasn't his fault , who would in their right mind would leave him with all that responsibility. They got to their flight , the ride into country , House was there and with their boxes surrounding it . Hey they got Michael might as well put use to his muscles .

..... .... ... ..... ....

" Only you would do this Gabriel , I don't know why I let you drag me into this "

" Look at the bright side , were surrounded with some hot cowboys " Eileen spoke and signed with a mischievous smirk .

" see cassie , even Eileen not complaining , just relax . Take a deep breath and - Ok you grab that box and I will take the heavier one . "

Gabe said as to fool Michael they were helping but as the annoyed glared they were all receiving it was obviously the 3 younger siblings were just resting .

" Your doing well Michael keep up the good work "

They all burst out laughing when the oldest retorted with a angry 'Shut up ! '

" Maybe we should help " She said & signed to both of them .

" yeah , I'm gonna go check on the kids , they might wake up any --- . "

Turning around to see where the noise was coming from , he took in the sight of a sleek black jaguar . Squinting to block the sun , he hears the person above signalling the horse to halt .

" I wasn't informed new people were moving in , Welcome . "

Removing his stetson , he looks at them but his gaze fall onto the bluest eye he had ever seen and the cutest head tilt . Making his Voice huskier and putting on his best smile he asked .

" Dean Winchester .

Need A Hand , Angel ? "

..... ...... . ... ...... ...... .....

24 notes · View notes

dontyougiveuponme · 3 years

Text

6/7/2021 - Update and post of Vampires

Hello tumblr, it has been a while. I have this website pinned but I never bother to write anything. It’s been a little over two years since I last wrote. Yet again, I feel stagnant, or even getting worse. I feel like I’ve changed. I like to think that I’m not the kind of person that changes. I always tell everyone that asks me how I’ve been that everything is the “same old shit”. I feel far away from the person I once was. I can understand that we all mature in different ways, but I don’t want to be a person that I, myself do not like. I’ve turned cynical, critical, judgmental, just an overall non-believer of anything good or positive. Much of the day I can’t say I have any positive thoughts apart from laughing at dumb memes, but I can’t say that counts for anything substantial. I haven’t accomplished much at all within these past two years, and it’s weighing heavy on my mind. I really do want to fix myself and my bad habits. I’ll be 29 this year, so by the time I hit the big three zero, I want to have my life and visions together. In order to take steps in this light, is the reason I decided to write again. I am constantly feeling tired both mentally and physically pretty much everyday of my life now, and I can say that it’s probably the worst it’s been. I don’t remember the last time I got some decent rest. My mind is polluted with so much bullshit I can only manage the upkeep of basic day to day living. My productivity and creativity are in the dump. This shit sucks, hopefully I can organize my thoughts and convince myself to change! Here we go..

Vampires, things that drain my energy:

Phone/social media - Social media is a piece of shit. It amazes me how I keep opening up IG on my phone to just scroll valuable moments of my life away. There’s many times I see things I really don’t like seeing and it actually makes me mad. I hate seeing political shit. Everything has an agenda now. Everyone is a hero now. Everything is money now. Rarely do I see things that I like on there (Isn’t that the whole reason to have the damn thing anyway?). There’s not much genuine things on social media anymore, it’s all just recycled trash. They literally show that shit in your feed even though you’re not subscribed/following them. Everything is an ad now. So much sales pitching, even for oneself as a brand. There’s nothing genuine about it in my eyes, and I really would like to live with less of it. It’s impossible to avoid completely in regular daily life now. I don’t need to be consuming half as much of all this bullshit on social media. Actually there’s also another side of social media that’s related to my next vampire.

Porn - Some social media posts are kinda like porn. You know the things (TikToks/Reels) you just keep watching over and over.. and over again? It might not necessarily make your peepee feel funny but there’s definitely some kind of strange chemical reactions going on in your brain when you watch that shit. It’s a vampire, like porn is. Porn, I feel like is actually huge in terms of draining energy. I mean of course in moderation, masturbation actually can’t be terrible for you, but what I want to talk about is the frequent kind (lol). I think doing it everyday is too much, especially as you get older. I can’t say I’ve ever came and felt a rush of energy, I usually just pass the fuck out (maybe I should look in to some Kama Sutra shit or something). I’m not an expert on health, but it can’t be good to put your body under the stress of manufacturing all that semen over and over, day after day, after day. I think naturally if there was too much semen, you’d just have a wet dream or something. I mean, it’s been a while since that’s happened to me though. Anyways, I think the body could use some rest from too many orgasms! Yeah I said it. It’s also really draining mentally as well. I feel worse mentally after watching porn than physically (DUH). Well to put it bluntly, porn is fucked up. I can’t quite put my finger on it (uhhhh nasty), but it’s just not right to enjoy watching people have sex and stuff. I’m just a viewer of porn. I’m indirectly supporting this machine that is destructive. I understand that there’s women (and men) that see great success in their lives from the porn industry, and I can’t knock that, although it may confuse me, maybe it is some people’s true passion to suck 100 guys dicks in one sitting. I DON’T KNOW. I just can’t help but feel bad when I see a girl that is clearly beautiful, could have been an actress or a model, and there she is taking it up the shitter. A part of me dies a little bit every time I get off, and think of deeper things like that. I don’t think that if any of those women had a chance to do something else and be successful, they wouldn’t ever choose to do porn. It’s just not fair to them, and now that I think about it, it’s crazy that their success depends on the base of fucked up viewers that they have. Not a pretty thought on all levels, also considering the women that did it and did not succeed. Overall, porn makes me feel like shit, and I need to stop fucking watching it.

Drugs - I can’t deny how nice the idea of having a few drinks or an having occasional cigarette. They’re great socially. By yourself though (which I tend to do often), it is a sad thing. I think it is a sad thing even with other people, when there’s not much reason to be consuming drugs. I understand that they can be a “social lubricant”, but really when you are consuming so much of it you can’t really call it a lubricant. It’s more like a flood, or like a wave that everyone is just riding, instead of people interacting normally. Drinking in excess for me has been common, too common I’d say. I would drink (a lot) with friends maybe every weekend. Recently, I’ve snapped and yelled at some of my friends in some kind of drunken rage (which is actually not even the first time) . This kind of behavior makes me very uncomfortable. I want to be happy and laugh with my friends, not be angry. Drinking is terrible for sleeping as well. You wake up feeling like complete trash, and your whole day has already passed. It steals a lot of life away. Moving on, cigarettes were an everyday thing for me. It was never so bad as to a pack a day, but I’d say I would do a pack or maybe two in a week, so a few a day. Cigarettes are nice in a social setting in a different way from alcohol, it sort of makes you more alert. In regular day to day life though, they are like taking a breath of fresh air. I know how ironic it sounds (lol), but the most common application is to have a cigarette after work. It stimulates you and somehow relaxes you at the same time. In that way cigarettes for me are such a chill drug, like you can’t get “drunk” on them if that makes sense. To be sitting listening to music and enjoy a cigarette is a subtle, but nice feeling. Apart from all that, they do make you feel like shit in a strange very obvious addiction kind of way. You always want one. The triggers are wide. They make you short on breath in physical activity. It does actually have some reactions in your brain to produce feel-good chemicals, so it does steal away some “happiness”. It is also very bad for health long-term, as is drinking too. I need to sober up and look at these drugs from a more mature perspective. I would love to be able to control my usage of them, because I can’t help it; I love beer, I love whiskey, and a cigarette tastes amazing sometimes.

General laziness/boredom - The biggest sign, sleeping way too much. There has to be more to life (lol). I can’t control my naps, they end up taking hours. This happens even after I get enough sleep. There’s so much to do, so much fun, so much building to be done, and what do I do? I’M FUCKING BORED. I’m so spoiled, or a better word I like to use, rotten. In general, I would safely say that boredom is the cause, and the other things listed above (phone, masturbation, drugs), are the effect. If I can learn how to properly control my boredom, I could effectively control all those vices. I think this should be a post on it’s own so I’ll try to attack this and write about it later.

Anyways, It’s sorta sad in a weird way that I haven’t been able to update in a while. So many things have happened. My cat (Nibbler) almost had to get put down and got surgery for free (He is doing great). The old place in Norcross I was renting got burned out, I lived with my brother for two months, and found a new place. I have a girlfriend now (albeit on and off). I’ve been working with my friend for almost two years now, no longer typing away at an office job. My sister Alisha moved to Japan, and very recently my youngest sister Anna finally turned 21. Time passes by and so many big things happen, it’s sad to not write about it. I know I was keeping a physical planner/diary, but I feel like on here I can write more freely and deeper (I don’t know why). Anyways, I hope not too much time passes before I write again. Until next time. ^-^

0 notes