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#CHIRP HAS A CHILD???
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icannotgetoverbirds · 3 months
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Share to save a dandruff-haver's sanity
i am making this post because all my life i have been told my dandruff was my fault for not washing my hair correctly and shamed for having "poor hygiene" as a result - this is probably where the bfrbs started tbh.
SO. There are two main types of dandruff!
Dry scalp flakes: these are white and itty bitty! you can probably solve this with a good hair and skincare routine. HOWEVER unless they are bothering you it is absolutely not necessary for any kind of health reason (afaik! disclaimer! i am not a doctor! this is not actionable medical advice nor should you take me anywhere near as seriously as a dermatologist). IS NOT CAUSED BY POOR HYGIENE.
Fungal dandruff: Bigger, yellowish, possibly oily/greasy flakes! Caused by your genetics going Oops All Yeast! Generally requires a prescription antifungal treatment from a dermatologist! ALSO NOT CAUSED BY POOR HYGIENE.
Either way, if you have dandruff, a dermatologist is the one you want to consult if it's bothering you! and frankly, even if it was a hygiene issue, nobody deserves to be shamed for that!!!!! especially considering that there are plenty of people who struggle to shower regularly due to circumstances beyond their control!
AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE STOP SHAMING PEOPLE WITH DANDRUFF!!!!
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solibrie · 5 months
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having CRITICAL conversations about jatp rn
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The fact that the cast all took a solid second of silence and then full tilt screamed at each of Chirp’s two confessions.
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scriptmyworld · 2 years
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haven’t watched the new acofaf yet but I DID immediately go to the chirp tag when I remembered it’s wednesday and well. it’s good to know that I’m always right xox
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flowers-for-freaks · 2 years
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Me walking into work at 7am without saying hi to my boss who has been awake since at least 4am: "cannibalism is technically legal in the US."
My boss, used to my bullshit:
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puphoods · 2 years
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fluttershy hosting a full tea party preparing everything for discord every single week half heartedly giggling at him having no personality outside of trying to impress her when they talk it makes you sick. doesnt it
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cephalomon · 5 months
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all the old people who told me to relish my youth mightve been right but not for the reasons they thought
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wildtornado-o · 7 months
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Thinking about when in Temeraire after Laurence lost his memories he thought Emily was his daughter DJSKSK like. He did math and everything to try and think about it logically. She looks so much like him its so funny
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emmyrosee · 16 days
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anon sent me an ask about toddler yuuji putting flowers in readers hair and reader putting one in Sukuna’s hair and of COURSE MY ASS DELETED IT- so here it is in a not so pretty format ☹️🫶🏻
——-
Tiny legs toddle over to sukuna, only to bypass him completely and waddle to you, a dandelion clenched in his fist. The yellow flower looks brighter in the sunlight, but not as bright as your smile when yuuji nudges the flower at you proudly. “For me?” You coo, and he nods victoriously.
“Head!” He says, patting your head gently with his free hand. You give him a hum of understanding, bowing down so the small boy can plant the weed in himself; he does so, happily, and Sukuna’s heart squeezes at the sight.
There’s a contrast of the yellow that now nests in your tresses versus the hues in your hair, and when you turn to smile at him, Sukuna’s own lips curl into a small smirk. He’d never tell you, but the fact his favorite little twerp has taken more than a liking to you means the world to him, and he adores watching you both interact as smoothly as you do.
He sees the love in Yuuji’s eyes. He’s almost positive it’s the same love he looks at you with.
When the small child comes back over to give you another flower, you capture it in your own hand to slip it into Sukuna’s in the same place as yours rests. He blinks, unamused, only for you to fall into a fit of laughter.
“Looks good with your tattoos,” you say, leaning up to press a kiss to his jawline, which he hums appreciatively at. “Makes you less scary.”
“I’m not scary,” he scoffs. “I’m threatening.”
“Oh, right, of course,” you snort.
Yuuji’s eyes suddenly light up and his chubby legs carry him back to the dandelions, one hand grabs the yellow weed, the other grabs a puffy, white one. When he runs back to show you both, the puffs have disappeared from the bud of the dandelion and flown into the air, leaving just a stem.
“For you!” He chirps, passing you the yellow weed. Then, he turns to Sukuna and thrusts his small hand at his brother- only to then drop in confusion when there’s no longer fluff adorning the weed. “Huh?”
“It blew away, bud,” Sukuna sighs. “Gotta be careful with those, be gentle.”
Yuuji merely blinks big eyes at his brother in confusion, but it quickly fades and turns to pride as he ushers the stem to his older brother. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“We’cm ‘suku!”
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starwrighter · 8 months
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Ghost chirps au but instead of the cute little bird songs and peeps it’s just-
“CAW”
Like a giant crow or flock of crows if there’s more than one ghost. Danny being able to gather all of Gotham’s crows, as a giant army because he sounds like them.
Crows: Who tf are you
Danny: CAW
Crows: Say less homie
He’s named every last one of them and has trained them all to pick locks and steal. He’s respected by the crows because he’s the only one with dexterous hands. If they can’t open something they call in the big guns (AKA Danny) Like imagine being a Gothamite and watching a enormous flock of crows seemingly summoning a scrawny child out nowhere to unlock a dumpster? Like they’re crowding around him like he’s the messiah, a god even and they all just squawk in unison when the kid pulls out a bobby pin and picks the padlock. They’re dropping, coins, bottle caps, earrings, bullet shells, anything vaguely shiny and the occasional paper money into his hands.
The kid has a necklace of soda tabs and bottle cap earrings. He also just walks around collecting beer bottles and later sells little glass statues that have a bioluminescent glow (HC that Danny can melt and shape glass with weaker ecto blasts) Glowing glass jewelry is weaved into his hair that is seemingly a identity confirmation for the crows.
Nobody knows the kids name he just showed up one day with his massive army of crows and started to wander. After around a month of the kid wandering around without a care in the world and not dying the locals decide “Huh, I guess crow prince is here to stay,” Like, they accept him as a local cryptid.
Like “Yeah, crow king just kind of vibes but if you give him food, he’ll bash in a pedophiles kneecaps,”
Shit goes down When Danny discovers his chirps can also sound like geese.
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tender-rosiey · 4 months
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“KEEP THE PRIEST! WEDDING NO.2 STARTS!”
— gojo, sukuna, nanami, geto & toji when you catch the bouquet at a wedding (f!reader)
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a/n: if you don't have a cousin then now you do and thanks for being patient with me everyone! <3
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GOJO SATORU:
 a family member of yours was finally getting married—something you never thought would happen since she was always complaining about all her boyfriends, but hey at least someone finally did it.
anyway, naturally, you took your dear boyfriend as your date.
the wedding was going smoothly, drinks were exchanged, food was distributed, and cakes were eaten—much to your lover’s delight.
another thing that kept happening is people trying to introduce their daughters to satoru.
his instant response was to wrap an arm around your shoulder and pull you close to him, kissing your cheek and chirping a “sorry, but I am happily taken!”
now it was time for the part that a lot of people wait for: the bouquet throw.
your cousin was already crazy, so she has been waiting for it so she can throw the bouquet with all her might. on the other hand ,you and the other ladies were lined up and patiently waited.
one swing, two swings, one faint throw, and finally the bouquet was thrown into the air, heading towards its next owner.
a chorus of ‘its mine! mine!’ filled the room, but relentless, you maneuvered your way into finally catching the bouquet in your hands.
you’ve won the battle.
but wait. it seems like there is a contestant that won’t back down.
“let go of that bouquet, young lady!”
you look behind you and gasps, it is—“satoru?!”
“yes, satoru!” your boyfriend huffs, making his way towards you.
he firmly takes a stance in front of you, contrasting his intimidating position with his infamous pout, “it’s not fair for you to take the bouquet!”
you sway your hip to the side sassily, “does it make a difference? we’re getting married either way!”
your boyfriend shakes his head, “no, babe!” he places his hands on his chest, pushing his theatrics till the top, “I need to be the star!”
he crumbles to the floor and you merely stare at him in silence.
you see your cousin approach you and your boyfriend, “first of all, I am the star, and second, if you don’t stop fighting, I am taking the bouquet back.”
your boyfriend gasps clinging to your legs, “babe, your cousin is super mean!”
you pat his head with a sigh and he happily presses a kiss to your thigh. what a taxing man to be with.
“sweets, I wanna pee.”
taxing child.
RYOMEN SUKUNA:
your boyfriend was—surprisingly—invited to a friend’s wedding, which he hated as he was planning on taking you to a stargazing sight because you’ve been talking about it ever since you saw it multiple times on tiktok.
so, here you are with your boyfriend put into a suit by force.
you’re pretty sure that he is going to rip it any moment, but you would rather he does that when you’re both alone: you don’t necessarily mind a show.
anyway, you are sat with your dear lover who hasn’t stopped frowning since you’ve entered the darn hall.
the only good social thing he has done so far is greeting the groom and the bride. other than that, his hand never left yours and he stuck by you.
it’s cute, though, even if he argues that he is anything but.
you hear them announce that they’re finally throwing the bouquet so you give sukuna a quick peck then run to reserve your space.
now, you get very competitive in certain things, and this is certainly one of them. you will be going home with that bouquet.
and true to your goal, the moment the bouquet is at a height you can reach, you jump at it, holding on for dear life.
your feet reach the ground once again, and you raise your hand in victory, “I did it!”
you don’t see sukuna rolling his eyes fondly and with a proud grin that screams ‘that’s my girl’.
after a bit of applause, you quickly turn to your boyfriend and walk towards his table, radiating with confidence.
you place the bouquet on the table then you lean on your elbows, “I caught the bouquet,” you wink, “what do you think?”
“of course, you would get it,” he hums, “you’re mine, and I don’t settle for less than the best.”
you roll your eyes and lean towards him, swirling the drink that you stole from him, “it’s quite the commitment that we’re getting into,” you then look and lock eyes with him, “think you can handle that?”
“there’s nothing I can’t handle, loser.”
you giggle before cooing, “aww, you love me so much,” he gently shoves you, before his arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you back towards him.
“I tolerate you.”
“so love!”
“no.”
NANAMI KENTO:
jingling bells, clicking heels, steaming food, and loving couples including you and your dear boyfriend fill today’s wedding hall.
a mutual friend of yours and nanami finally tied the knot with their lover, and you were happily invited.
it was a never ending party of laughter and happy tears—that you efficiently hid by burying your face in your boyfriend’s chest.
things calmed down a bit, leaving you to fangirl about how cute your friend is to nanami.
“but kento, she looked so cute! she is so pretty! he better not hurt her!”
nanami keeps munching on his bread, “I think she is capable of handling that herself.”
you cross your arms with a huff, “what do you mean?”
“she is carrying a shotgun.”
“oh, you right,” you acknowledge, before running towards the dance floor when you see your friend about to throw the bouquet, “f/n, you better not throw that until I tell you!”
“if you don’t get then you just have a major skill issue!”
you gasp, taking a battle stance in the middle of the of the dance floor. you hear your friend giggle, before she finally throws the bouquet into the air.
from then, it’s a cat fight between you and the rest of the people.
however, you come out as victorious then excitedly running towards nanami, “kento! kento! did you see me?”
“mhm, you looked lovely as always,” he chuckles, giving you his full attention.
you giggle, taking a seat beside him. you start talking about your fight(?) to get the bouquet while nanami stealthily takes a plate of your favourite snacks from the buffet and slides it to you.
you gasp, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, “thank you, love!”
he hums, eyeing the bouquet, “you know,” then he says, fidgeting with his watch a little, “I can get you a better bouquet if you want—with a side of a ring, of course.”
you were about to finally dig in, but your brain quickly short circuits at his comment, “oh.”
slowly, you turn to him, feeling your face get warmer by the second.
he laughs lightly, hand coming to rest on yours, “I am not joking,” he pulls your hand up for a small peck, “I am just waiting for the right time so please be patient with me.”
GETO SUGURU:
the moment the vows were exchanged, music was blasted to the roof, and everyone was partying to the max.
your cousin, the bride, is dancing to the beat with vigor and excitement you’ve never seen before.
you would like to join her, but geto just won’t let you since he knows that you will somehow end up drunk off your mind and dancing on one of the tables.
so you’re sat with him right now, sulking and glaring at him.
“babe, don’t be so sad now, please? I am only doing this so you don’t accidentally hurt yourself.”
you huff and turn your back on him, “I am a full-functioning adult; thank you very much!”
his hand slowly inches towards yours, “the prettiest full-functioning adult,” he smiles, pulling his chair closer to you. “and the smartest too, did you know that?”
you almost give into his advances—his charming smile is far too lethal—but you’ve developed a bit of immunity to his actions.
so instead, you face him with a teasing smile, “I would love if you tell me more—after I successfully steal the bouquet.”
“steal?”
you roll your eyes, “acquire.”
he laughs lightly, and you take it as your cue to run towards the group of women huddled behind your cousin.
you stand proudly, “c/n, throw your bouquet!”
“no!”
“what?!”
“just kidding!”
and so the bouquet flies and ‘accidentally’ lands in your hands—it’s no accident; you’ve been training your entire life for this moment.
people whoop and applaud, and you bow to audience, before scurrying to your darling boyfriend.
you wave the bouquet in your hand, and he nods knowingly, “guess you’re never get rid of me,” you muse, hugging the bouquet to your chest, “what a pity, right?”
he looks at you confused then sighs with a smile, “I never planned to, but okay.”
you beam at him and throw your arms around him, and he laughs, hugging you closer.
you trace shapes on his back and murmur, “you’re way too cute for your own good.”
“I need to charm you one way or another, you know,” he replies, motioning for the waiter to get you two more drinks.
he stays silent for a moment, “you can go get hammered—“
“not!”
“okay, not hammered with your cousin.”
“yay!” you scream joyously and run away.
guess who ended up drunk and dancing on a table.
FUSHIGURO TOJI:
toji and a wedding?
it’s a combination most would not expect, but it isn’t his wedding anyway, so he can’t complain about it being too much commitment right now.
the only thing he can complain about is being put into this ‘suffocating’ suit—a sight you love.
“do we really have to stay till the end?”
you turn towards him, mortified, “this is literally your best friend’s wedding.”
he shrugs, “so?”
with a shake of your head, you drag him further down the hall to your assigned seats. at least, holding your hand is enough to pacify him.
the wedding goes as you would expect, aside from toji almost falling asleep.
you are now just standing beside the clearly expensive and delicious buffet—your true love.
toji is happily indulging in the food laid out in front of him, and you are about to do the same, but you notice that the bouquet throw is about to happen.
so you dash out of your seat just in time to catch that rogue bouquet. you raise your hand, announcing yourself as the now rightful owner of this bouquet.
that’s why you excitedly search for toji to show him your new prize.
you rush towards the table that you left your boyfriend at, “toji, I got it!—toji?”
a look left, a look right, your eyes widen. did the darn guy leave the moment you caught the bouquet? no way his fear of commitment is this intense.
you take note of the groom—toji’s bestie—shaking his head.
feeling embarrassed, you frown and yell for him, “toji fushiguro!”
suddenly, you feel a presence behind your back. you feel the person lean towards your ear a bit, and they whisper a small, “hey.”
you gasp, spinning to smack him square on the shoulder, “I hate you!”
he teases, almost like your hit was never there in the first place, “now now, that isn’t something you say to your future husband,” he grins and you scrunch your face in disgust.
you turn on your heel to walk away from him, “kill yourself.”
“what a foul mouth,” he whistles, following you until you finally give up and are given the chance to punch him in the stomach to make for the scare he gave you.
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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
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dcxdpdabbles · 3 months
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DCxDP Fanfic idea: Wrong Number
Bruce prides himself in keeping all of his networks secured. If he didn't make it himself, he had the funds and connections to get him the best working on his systems.
He had backup plans in case the systems were ever hacked, of course, but he had yet to encounter a cyber attack that wasn't beaten away by his firewalls or his team.
Babs and Tim were far more feral when booting out unwanted guests. The level of protection was also transferred to his other systems that weren't Batman-related, just to make sure the connection between Bruce and Batman was never made.
That's why he never really checks his personal phone's caller ID, not the one he gave out as Brucie Wayne, but the one Bruce used for his real life without any masks- civilian or vigilante. The only ones who had the number- and the access- were his children and Alfred.
Not even the Justice League- those who were aware of his identity- knew of this number.
Bruce is in the middle of typing up a report for the next Wayne Board meeting when his personal phone rings. He figures it's Dick giving him a call to update him on his drive home or maybe Jason, as his son was planning on going to college.
"Go for Papa Bruce," He says, knowing his kids hate his phone greeting and doing it deliberately to spite them.
There is a long pause where he can't help but smirk thinking his child is either rolling their eyes or cringing too hard to properly speak. Eventually, a voice cracks over the speaker.
"Hello. I'm selling cookies to raise money for my own star. Would like to buy a box from me?" says a boy, not one he has taken in. The voice is young maybe not even double digits yet. Bruce is alarmed.
"Who are you?! How did you get this number?" He demands, yanking his phone to his face and seeing, with a chill, a phone number out of state.
His system had been compromised. By a child. By accident.
"My name is Danny!" The boy chirps. "I sell cookies. Like the Girl Scouts, but I'm a boy, and I don't scout."
"That's rather fantastic, lad. What kind of cookies are you selling?" Bruce asks to keep the boy on the line while sending an email blast to the others. It's a string of numbers that are code for compromise so they all know to close any communication channel until it's safe to get back on.
"Chocolate chip. Mint Slim. Oatmeal and peanut butter. I made them myself!"
Right. Bruce hooks up his phone, tracing the call. The signal bounces off the call, swinging up to a salute and falling back down to earth. In seconds he has the boy's location. It pings in a small town right outside of Star City.
He sends Barry a private message. His friend is already on the way to the location. He'll get the boy in a few seconds.
"How much for a box of chocolate chips? Those are my favorite." Bruce tells the boy, voice whimsical as his Brucie persona demands.
In an unsure tone, the boy pauses, then whispers, "I don't know. No one ever let me get this far."
"How about twenty for a box of dozen? I'll buy five boxes for each of my kids that live at him," Bruce tells him, and the boy gasps.
"That could buy me one whole night in a hotel!"
Bruce's insides freeze. What did he mean-
"Hey! No! Let go!" Danny suddenly screams. Bruce's heart launches- he hates it when kids get hurt, especially those that sound like Danny- until Barry's voice comes over the speaker.
"I got him, Mr. Wayne. Thank you for alerting the Justice League Hotline." That's code for This is not a threat to you Batman and Bruce allows himself to relax just a little.
"Narc!" The boy shouts, outraged, before the call drops. Barry is likely taking over the situation, which means Bruce can leave it in his capable hands.
After reassuring his kids that he is fine and that they are all safe, he suits up and meets the Flash in the Watch Tower. There, he learns that Danny is only seven years old and has been living on the streets for a while.
The boy had been surviving by baking some cookies to sell on the side of the street- where did he bake them? The boy would not say- until he got the bright idea to try to sell through phone calls like he had seen on TV.
He punched in random numbers at the community center phone and gave his pitch about a star, thinking people would be more willing to buy from him if he had an excellent reason.
Barry had left him with CPS, but he looked devastated about that. It turned out that Danny was a meta and had likely been kicked out of his home once it was found out based on what he said of his parents.
Bruce felt he should assure Barry that Danny was fine and look into his placement to help settle his more sensitive teammate's nerves.
He was unhappy that Danny was not in a good placement; there were far too many reports from a concerned neighbor to make him think it was a safe place. Given the fact that placement had a lot of meta kids that "fell through the cracks," Bruce worried he had just stumbled across a trafficking ring.
He would sick Barry and Jason on them. Just to ensure they wouldn't see the light of day again.
Still, that did not fix his mistake with Danny, the little cookie seller.
Bruce hacked into the system to move Danny. He thought about where he would move the young child but ultimately had him in Wayne Manor.
Just until he could confirm that he would be safe. He certainly didn't think about the adorable little boy who called him with his heart in his hand and got sent to a terrible place for three weeks because of Bruce.
Danny arrived at Wayne Manor with a happy little bounce and a chipper outlook on life than Bruce was expecting. "If it isn't Mr. Narc!"
God, he going to adopt the boy, isn't he?
(Danny has been thrown into a different universe, aged down to a child. He survived by overshadowing people into letting him spend the night baking cookies.
He was thrown into a somewhat typical home, but the nosy neighbor down the street took far too much notice of his overshadowing, and now he was being moved again.
Maybe he can terrorize Mr. Narc now instead? )
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hunnieknight · 1 year
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"The Rooster's Little Chick" (+Art)
You are Pulcinella's precious grandchild. The Rooster brings you-the little chick- out of the coop to his field, and of course, he regrets it. A continue from this
GN! Reader, all Harbinger except Signora and Scaramouche, timeline after signora's funeral and before Sumeru event, mention of Signora's death and Scara's betrayal, reader is called using 'Master' by Pulcinella's underlings, age-gap , bit of comedic/crack, hints of yandere, borderline possessive, implied stalking and obsessive behaviour.
Note : Pulcinella able to control cryo in this hc. I DO NOT SPEAK RUSSIAN
Series II Series III
_________
Hatching
Pulcinella thought you both can bond together as grandpa-grandchild after this meeting. So he just asked you to pick him up while making sure you got his fatui emblem and his feather so you can get past the soldiers.
Pulcinella thought since you are so normal and regular, he can let the other Harbingers see you eye-to-eye.
Boy, for years working with them...he should've known.
You caught their eyes at first glance, but not because they are smitten, their dirty side of sick curiosity and pure dominance is what drove them to you.
What? you think because you are Pulcinella's precious grandchild they gonna treat you better? No no no, you are merely a blood child from their co-worker. They are going to treat you nicely only in front of your grandpa. Behind him? You are a little plaything, little baby chicken away from its protective rooster.
But Pulcinella knows. He knows his co-workers are psychos.
So as a good grandpa, he didn't hesitate to THREATEN the others if they hurt you in any way possible. Showed off his cryo power, he will make sure being frozen to death is the kindest mercy they will ever get if you got hurt.
First Chirp
It "tamed" the others, but not enough to make them back off. They are all curious and truth-seeker at heart.
Pulcinella never gave them your name, Keeping his mouth shut and only calling you "child" or "kid" whenever the others were with him. He makes sure the only information they know about you is you are his grandchild.
Once they eavesdrop and heard how you are "an adult and can take care of yourselves around his co-workers". You can bet those who eavesdrop just giggle and smirk hearing your statement.
But one day a mistake happened, after a meeting, when Childe is the first one to leave the room, his eyes widened in excitement to see you waiting outside the meeting room.
Gloved hands fidgeting with the bag with a Pyro Agent sharing his warmth with you using his pyro delusion. Your head is tucked under the cover of a fluffy hat with Pulcinella's feather, your mouth is hidden behind a scarf, and your red nose and cheek caused by the harsh cold of Snezhaya make you more eye-catching and interesting to him.
The Agent has spilt your name accidentally whilst Childe approaches you. "Master {Name}, would you like me to bring you a spare coat instead?". Both of you didn't realise Childe coming closer, Childe's heart jumped out of his chest after learning your name.
"So your name is {Name}!!!" Childe's loud voice booms around the hall into the meeting room where everyone's still packing their stuff. He smirked towards the meeting room door aaaanddd- "Childe..." there you go. He can't see it but he felt the disappointment in Pulcinella's eyes, hidden by his glasses.
Pulcinella who still standing by the door frame can feel the excitement from the meeting room. His sharp eyes stared at Childe who still smirking and slowly approaching you who froze at the loud call of your name. Now they know your name.
First Flap
Their behaviours are like a paradox. Whatever their doing is always the opposite of their reason. Are you... supposed to feel afraid because they are your grandpa's co-workers...or you supposed to feel frightened because they are THE HARBINGERS.
Huh? What do you mean they are invading your personal time? They just want to make sure there is no betrayal -like one from their own- from Pulcinella's side you know? Just to be safe.
They are not being pushy, they just want their co-worker's sweet grandchild to be safe. They just recently lost someone too not that they care ofc.
Hiding you away is unnecessary and telling you to not pick him up again has shown to be a futile attempt. When your grandpa told you to not go to the Palace, he found you being pampered in the palace hall by Childe who casually just said he invited you to the Palace. He didn't invite you, he stole you. Pulcinella tried to put one or three agents to cover you, but knowing his co-worker, they will not hesitate to deck Pulcinella's soldier just to get to you.
Sometimes you are just a toy. Finding where you are hiding is now a favourite game of theirs, where are you after meeting? Will you be outside the door waiting for your grandpa? Will you be in his office instead all tucked up warming yourself? Will you be in the garden hidden by the white bushes? Or you are in the library busy with books?.
A little chicken hid away in this harsh cold field. The Rooster? Of course, wouldn't hesitate to claw the "eagles" who trying to scoop you up.
Childe felt like he is the most worthy of you. You are not far off from his age and he feels like he has the responsibility of taking care of you as a payment to Pulcinella for taking care of his family. He is the only Harbingers who can interact with you outside the Palace but not for long. Considering he is a debt collector which forces him to travel, of course, he made sure to bring you a souvenir from any nation he visited.
Dottore is one of Harbingers who actively seeking you out. But not directly, he will order his underlings to check if you are in the Palace by yourself. If yes, he will tell them to whisk you away to his lab keeping you to himself. Often ended with Pulcinella having to directly pick you up from Dottore and checked your body for any injuries. Considering he is more hands-on in his experiment.
Pantalone and Sandrone have different approaches. You often found presents sent to your home. From a very fancy scarf and pieces of jewellery to some toys and plushies to really high-quality gadgets. Your grandpa often told you to just throw it away in fear they put some kind of tracking or camera to spy on you.
Columbina is also one of the hands-on when it comes to you. She often whisks you away after meeting, knowing you will be waiting for your grandpa. Of course, she has to race with Childe, seeing Childe just shot up from his seat whenever Pierro ended the meeting. Funny how instead of your own grandpa, it's his co-workers who are more excited to play with you.
Huh, Arlecchino just passed by you, completely ignoring you besides a simple glance. Is she not interested in you? Well, that is good, you heard from Childe she dislikes the businessmen Pulcinella and Pantalone. Either way, you can relax around- Huh...is it you or it seem like you see Fatuis agents a lot in your area now?
Speaking of Pierro and Capitano, they both are so conflicted with themselves. They know that compared to you, they are ANCIENT. The age gap and the generation gap are vast. They will have a crisis because it is their workmate's grandchild. Aren't they supposed to be your second grandpa instead? No no no, that won't do at all. They need to make sure they will be the second in command to take care of you if Pulcinella is away.
PULCINELLA DOES NOT TRUST ANYONE AT ALL.
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jedi-starbird · 3 months
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Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.
like before Bandomeer?
The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.
"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.
Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.
'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.
"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.
"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.
after Naboo?
Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.
Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.
This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.
the Clone Wars?
The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.
Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)
The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.
"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"
"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"
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nerdpoe · 8 months
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Uno Reverse
Constantine is breaking up another summoning, and it is...not going well.
They summoned a being from the Infinite Realms.
Said being is trying to break it's containment.
Constantine was hit with what was supposed to be a life-ending spell, only to wake up to the barrier beginning to crack.
He feels weird, he's smaller than he should be (probably deaged fuck), and fuck it all he's scared.
But the noise that comes out of his mouth is not a scream.
It's a chirp.
High and warbling, and the Infinite Realms being, covered in purple fire and black armor, freezes upon hearing it.
"You dare to kidnap one of our young?! The High King will have your heads!" And with that noble declaration, the terrifying spirit retreats back into the Infinite Realms.
The cultists look terrified.
John is still terrified, but also confused.
Basically, with how often John's in contact with death and magic, and how often he damages his soul, with the hit of a lethal spell his own magic sought to protect him by merging his soul with his physical body.
Constantine becomes a halfa.
Due to how little of his soul was left, his ghost form looks six.
Fright Knight sees a genuine baby ghost, not even an hour old, sprawled on the ground and crying for help.
Now John has to figure out what he is, why he's jumping between adult and child forms, what his weird new magic is, and how to stop a war with the Infinite Realms.
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