#Dan looks so fucking good im losing my mind help help help help help

[dizzybevvie]

not to be disrespectful i dont think i looked at phil a single time

#/hyp #Dan looks so fucking good im losing my mind help help help help help #i am so normal about this im so normal about this #Death and despair. he looks so good #UGH. #dan and phil #dan howell #beverly says stuff #the bev is gay chronicles

[kaizdreamz]

Dan Heng rambles

i. ok listen, i know - i just did a fic with him, but- ok so. heres a funny story,

.

.

i love him a lot,, iM SOrRY

sfw and nsfw. 18+

SFW

Dan heng who seems to be so put together and reserved to everyone else but melts against your hugs. Prefers having his head on your chest, his ear listening to your heart. but he does not mind if the roles were switched, he'll hold you against his chest and kiss the top of your head.

He loves when you hold his hand when no one is looking, squeezing it gently when you notice his anxiety. He loves when you guys are cuddling you play with his hair. Kissing and twirling it around your fingers, the gentle scent of the shampoo he uses filling your senses.

he adores it when you get pouty at him because he stayed up too late entering stuff into the data banks. You'll pull him away from his work, pulling his head against your chest, giving him gentle head scratches and laying down on his futon with him in your arms.

Dan heng swears he never gets sick as he is always cautious. But every now and then, he'll get a common cold, or the flu. And he'll refuse for you to touch him as he doesn't want you to become sick as well, but the moment you have your arms around him, or the moment you're so close to him, spoon feeding him soup you made in the kitchen. His heart flutters and he can't help but ignore the sickness, and ask for one kiss, or one hug. (It's never just one)

hes such a nervous lover, hes scared you'll get hurt by him or his past. he's slow and patient (i may expand on this ehe), he'll treat you as if you were a sacred treasure for him, and him only. his lips are sensitive and when you kiss him it feels 10x warmer and softer.

he gets cold easily, he doesnt complain though. he'll just wrap a blanket over his lap and continue working in the databank, if you're there with him, he'll subtly scoot over to you and continue reading. eventually it'll turn into cuddling, his arms around your waist, his face buried in your neck. soft and gentle touches make his heart swell, brushing your lips on his knuckles, booping his nose with your own, forehead nuzzles, everything, it makes him feel so soft and he loves you more and more.

"starlight", "love", "sweetie", those petnames he'll use when its just the two of you, in a soft setting, holding his hand. cuddling, even before you two go to sleep, he'll call you any of those.

(18+ nsfw, mdni)

"baby", "Honey", and any of the likes, he'll use when you two are sharing a very intimate moment together. he'll be out of breath, whining and moaning against your lips, his large hand wrapped around your waist, hugging you against him. he'll be gentle, he doesnt fuck, he makes love in my opinion.

he'll be so lost in the pleasure he'll babble on about how much you mean to him, how good it feels, he's never felt this way before. its overwhelming for him, he'll leave soft kisses on your face and neck.

he'll whisper in your ears how close he is, his hips would stutter, his rhythm would falter, he begs you to cum with him. calling you his pretty lover, his sweetheart, his sweet baby. he'll kiss your lips, moaning breathlessly in your mouth, poor thing falls apart in your arms.

"love, please- i'm, ah- im so close," he whimpers in your ear, one hand on your hips, bringing you closer to him as he thrusts inside of you. the other caressing your face, listening to every moan and whimper you emit.

you call him your good boy, and he'll just LOSE IT. his eyes flutter close, his face buried in the crook of your neck, his grip on your hips would tighten for a moment. the rocking of his hips would stutter so much, he'll bite his lip to stop a loud moan. a muffled whimper as you give him sweet praises. your hands on his thighs.

"you're doing so well," he'll whimper, as he reaches closer to his climax. "my good boy, loving me so well," you coo in his sensitive ear. "i'm so close- Dan heng.." you moan wrapping your arms around him, hugging his body. "f-fuck, dan heng..!" you tighten around him, he'll press his body against yours, his cock twitching inside of you. his naval pressed so sweetly against your body, his body rubbing against your sensitive genitalia.

"c-cum for me, you're so good- s-so pretty.." he'll smash his lips against yours, rubbing your tip/clit as you near your orgasm.

"I-i love y-you, D-Dan heng," you breath out, your back arches as he hits your sweet spot. you tighten around him so much he can barely move. his eyes widen, watching your body arch, your blunt nails digging into his muscles, your blissful expression and your breathy moan.

his orgasm follows suit after yours, his hips faltering to a stop, a loud high pitched moan escapes his mouth as he buries his head in your chest. he's out of breath, he'll be so wobbly in the knees unsure if he can sit up to pull out of you. you press a gentle kiss on his neck, smiling softly at him catching his breath.

he'll eventually pull out of you, hissing lightly as he moves his hips back. he'll try to resist the urge to just lay down on top of you, he'll groggily put his boxers on and run to grab a warm towel to clean you up, kissing you sweetly and whispering sweet things in you ear as you tiredly help assist him in cleaning you up.

once you're cleaned he'll help you dress in comfortable clothes, his shirt or his pajama pants, or both. laying next to you, watching your expressions relax as you melt in his arms. you reassuring him that he didnt hurt you, and you love him so so much makes his heart swell, he has to hold back tears because he's so happy.

you two fall asleep entangled in each others arms, sweet dreams and gentle heartbeats. the world can wait, the only thing that matters is you and him.

OH AND HE REALLY LIKES WHEN YOU BOTHER HIM LOVINGLY-

im sorry its so long i love him a lot and i kind of went off during the nsfw part- gaahh!! /pos

#junesl1ght_ #hsr fluff #hsr smut #dan heng fluff #hsr dan heng #dan heng smut #dan heng rambles #hsr fic #i love him a lot- #dan heng is so <33 #rahh!!! /pos

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

#meta #derena #dair #date #anon #this is SUCH a gushy essay but like. what did you expect #how else could i have answered this #this took. an embarrassingly long amount of time #but i had SO much fun so #citations for my ships #don't mind me *whistles under my breath*

[gizkasparadise]

kdrama rec/review: bridal mask

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: bridal mask / gaksital Episodes: 28 Genres: historical, action, drama, romance, tragedy, people screaming each others’ names in all capital letters 2006 anime style Spoilers in the Rec: im going to try to avoid them. im really, really going to try. but no guarantees If You Like, You’ll Like: zorro, robin hood, v for vendetta, chicago typewriter, vigilante shit, kate beaton comics on My Nemesis, mr sunshine, watching people become progressively unhinged, bad guys that become good guys, good guys that become bad guys, Parallel Narratives, cat and mouse games but they’re both cats, 2010 hair in a 1930s world, people in a room together internally thinking does he know that i know that he knows?

Rank: 9.5/10

GAKSITALLLLLLLLLLLLLL PREMISE

set during the japanese occupation of korea in the 1930s, bridal mask centers on lee kangto, an absolute shit weasel. like. good god, what an asshole. anyways.

kangto is a korean police officer who is employed by the japanese--meaning he’s essentially a rat/turncoat to his own people and supporting their colonization and abuse of power. it’s especially fucked up because kangto’s older brother was tortured so much by japanese police officers that he’s essentially lost his mind. people hate kangto. straight up hate him. 

as a lieutenant in the imperial police, kangto’s been working to catch members of the korean resistance movement, but left and right he’s been thwarted by...

THE BRIDAL MASK (gaksital in korean)

a mysterious figure who wears a mask resembling a korean bride’s traditional makeup. bridal mask is essentially zorro, fucking up shit left and right and generally making kangto lose his shit. he makes it his goal to be the one to apprehend and arrest this mysterious figure. seems straightforward, but as kangto’s search for the bridal mask continues, and the people around him are drawn into the hunt, it’s clear that shit’s not what it seems.

MAIN CHARACTERS

lee kangto/sato hiroshi/lee young

a korean man who works for the japanese as a police officer. 0% approval rating from the koreans and maybe a 5% approval rating from the japanese. kangto’s initial goals for joining the police force were to help his family get out of poverty, but his morality’s been cha-cha sliding progressively darker the longer he works for the police force. he becomes obsessed with catching the bridal mask and everyone would like him to really quit being an asshole but he will not.

catch phrase is bingo! takes over the nightclub stage when he’s feeling swaggy. would shoot the love interest. shoots pretty much anyone wearing a mask, really, then yells about it

oh mok dan / mild spoiler: esther / spoiler: boon yi

a patriotic korean woman associated with the independence army, mok dan commits acts of subterfuge and gathers intel against the japanese forces. her day job is a performer at a circus, where she lives and hides out from japanese officials whenever shit goes awry. when lee kangto sees her getting saved by bridal mask, he assumes she’s the bridal mask’s lover and therefore intends to use mok dan as The Bait. mild spoilers it turns out she was once childhood friends with lee kangto’s best friend, kimura shunji 

wears many amazing suits. has no problem with spitting or shooting. fears no boxes. can take a punch or 5. basically my dream girl it’s fine

kimura shunji

a japanese man and kangto’s best friend. coming from a family of influential, imperialist asshole samurai cops, shunji is the black sheep as he works as a music teacher for korean children, and is generally against the corruption and abuse of power when he sees it. basically the only one kangto’s never a straight up asshole to, including his family. the two practice what appears to be kendo together (i know jack shit about martial arts), and shunji’s a capable fighter. my default is to assume shunji is everyone’s favorite character, because he is my favorite character :’D, but if not i think he’s definitely the most compelling in the series.

wears bowties when he wants to dress to impress. rides bicycles both happily and tragically. has a thing for a childhood friend who saved his nanny. will give you a ride home after you’ve been tortured. save this man from his family. 

ueno rie/ra ra/ spoiler: chae hong joo

a korean woman from a rich family that was murdered by the independence army who later became a gisaeng. as a gisaeng, she crosses paths with a very important japanese man who later adopts her into his family. because the japanese police keep fucking up the apprehension of bridal mask, her adoptive father calls her to korea from japan in order to kill the vigilante

stealth fave?! will step all over you and makes grown men cry. hyper competent and hardcore. bridal mask’s best dressed (try again with the bow ties next year, shunji). men are weak

the bridal mask GAKSITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the mysterious figure either ruining or making everyone’s day. dramatic horse escapes. dramatic rescues. generally just drama. symbolically destroys japanese flags/insignia a lot. GAKSITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS SELECTED BY HOW MUCH THEY ARE MY FAVORITES 

mok damsari

mok dan’s father and a general in the independence army. v good at being rescued dramatically. knows how to make an exit and also bombs. dispenses life wisdom when he’s got free time in between rounds of being torture

lee kang san

kang to’s older brother, who joined the independence army and was tortured by the japanese police to the extent that he’s now lost his mind/severely mentally ill. dude just needs a hug or 20 and to never chase after a car ever, ever again because it makes me sad.

katsuyama jun

ueno rie’s bodyguard, which is amusing to me because she can clearly kill anyone she needs to, so it’s kind of like he’s a butler as well. stoic af, says maybe 20 lines in the entire series, but look, he’s cool

i dont like any of the japanese police officers because they’re dicks so they don’t get a feature :| 

Drawbacks

the production value is something you gotta settle into LOL. there’s the cheesy martial arts sound effects, sometimes it skews a little narmy, but once you get used to it and once the show gets progressively darker (and how) you adjust and then don’t notice it

my main #1 beef: mok dan starts to disappear in the last fourth of the series. like she’s still there, but she’s doing bullshit like making soup and just sitting at a table with nothing to say. as a character that’s so important in the first half, it’s severely disappointing the route that her narrative takes toward the end/she does become something of a satellite character even though i still love her

there are main character deaths--more than one. some people would say the ending is bittersweet but to me i think it’s straight-up sad (which is fine with me/appropriate for the story, i just know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea)

there’s torture and for the most part it’s shown / it’s not off-camera

shit gets dark. the first handful of eps might lull one into thinking is something like zorro or robin hood, but there’s a lot of fuckery and death by the time you get to the end

Reasons to Watch

i mean, it’s fun! which is a messed up thing to say about a dark show, but there’s a lot of twists and the show’s an extended game of cat-and-mouse that’s a good time because the audience knows certain things but the main characters don’t. the drama of it all!

Now That’s What I Call Character Arcs. kang to + shunji’s respective character arcs are amazing and are referred to as the best part of the show for a reason. you’ll hate and love them both throughout the series and it’s great. shunji was my favorite

i love both the female leads a lot. they’re totally different in personality and the sides that they’re on, but they’re both compelling and they have their own troubles and goals to work through 

one of the main characters looks around the chaos happening and decides to just fucking leave all these people behind forever lmao i love it

acting is great! some people knock on mok dan’s actress but i thought she was perfectly fine for the character 

i’ll admit, i’m into characters who become progressively unhinged and the actor who plays the character who does is so so A+

there’s romance but gd does it get dark sometimes. this is a plus or a minus depending on who you are lol

Final Thoughts.

#bridal mask #gaksital #joo won #park ki woong #jin se yeon #gizka does kdrama #gizkarec #kdrama #GAKSITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL #!my post

[dailyandrewandaaron]

I have always wondered if/how aaron asks andrew to be his best man??? Thoughts???

yes absolutely he does ! 

also this gave me flashbacks to my first ever fic and i was like ah yikes 

idk if this one is better but hopefully 

/ 

“Andrew “ Aaron voice “about the wedding”

“Dont keep going on “ Andrew growled down the phone “ I said  ill  be there, all right. “

“ Theres something I wanted to talk to you about”

“I know I know “ he said bored “ don’t say anything do don’t do anything “

“ what if “ Aaron gulped “what if I wanted you to”

“what do you mean?” andrew questioned.

“ what if I wanted you to do something?” Aaron asked nervously.

There was a pause “you’ve change your mind” Andrew guessed. 

“ I suppose I have” Aaron confirmed.

“so you want me to stop this, is that it  ? “ Andrew said.

“  No, no, no!” aaron yelped “ of course not! Thats not want I meant “

“Then what did you mean? speak plainly “

“ Ive decided .. realised  I ..  I need your help.”

“with what exactly?”

The was a lengthy silence before Aaron continued “ kates parents are coming her sisters .. aunts uncles    her fucking grandma Andrew ..everyone  

“ and ? “  the silence that followed made Andrew think that the phone had cut off “Aaron?”

Aaron sighed “ no ones coming Andrew”

“Lots of people are coming .you just said so . sistsers aunts grandma…”

“ Theyre coming for her , not for me. No ones coming for me .  Ive haven’t got anyone. No family , not the foxes no one “ he admitted gloomily  

“ we’ll be there,” andrew insisted “ now stop bothering me about it.”

“ Whos we ?” Aaron asked there was a slight hope in his voice

“ Me and Neil

“ oh . Neil .  “ he considered “ well  I suppose thats better than nobody.”

“was that all ?”

“ No . I … dont hang up yet …Andrew ?

“ yes.”

“ will you  … will you be my best man?”

“ Are you sure about this?” Andrew returned

“No one else has  ever stuck with me so long . through all that . through everything “

“I meant about me.” said Aaron

"So did I.  I mean who else I am going to ask?  I dont even know if anyones turning up .Will you do it?” he pleaded wondering what to do if he said no

“ All right. Im not going to make a speech though

“ Good .”

/

Aaron had  resigned himself to the possibility of a half empty building   when he went in. “ hey “ nicky approached .

aaron smiled “ i thought you werent coming

“ nicky reached to redo his tie “ you really think we were going to miss your big day?

“we?

“ Hey kid “  said a gruff voice he turned to see wymack and abby her there and then that matt and Dan and Allison were the front row . “ renees coming with katelyn “  Dan said as she hugged him . kevin was on his other side and thumped him on the shoulder before going to sit next to his father “ im glad you all came “ he said “ I thought i was going to have talk to kates aunt”

Andrew followed him around with a distinctly  grumpy look “ you could at least pretend to be happy for me” Aaron scolded

“I am happy for you “ Andrew answered halfheartedly 

“you dont look very happy “ 

Andrew tugged at his shirt collar “Its not too late” he said in conspiratorial whisper . “ we could just  sneak out,  take the cake ,go home now.”

“No , we couldn't” said aaron sternly “whats the matter with you?”

“ im losing you “ he said quietly

 “ im not going anywhere.  im getting married not dying .”

“  It wont be the same . you wont need me anymore.”

“ ill always need you “ he said honestly “ but im ready do things on my own now.   you dont have to worry about me anymore.  this is a good thing , its a happy day  okay ?”

“okay

“kate would never hurt me”

“okay”

“ Theyre late “ aaron said .His hands clasped and unclasped . “ You dont think she changed her mind , do you  He paced  up and down as excitement toward to panic and then humiliation and heartbreak. Shes not coming is she “ he blurted  out  as the time went on the chatter turned to anxious whispers “ she doesn’t want to marry me

“Did you ask her “ said Andrew

“ Of course I asked her .” aaron snapped

“ and she said she yes , when you asked her

“ obviously she did  or I wouldn’t’ve …“

“ do you know most of those people” Andrew waved a hand towards Katelyn’s  collection of relatives

“Not that well . they are her family and-”

“ and they came here for no reason?”

“ I suppose not.”

“ Then she’ll be here.” Andrew promised him “because if she doesnt show -”

The doors opened  and Andrew watched his brothers face soften and the anxiety melt away as Katelyn finally came in . she had flowers in her hair and on her dress and had one arm linked to through her fathers and the other hand clinging tightly to Renee. she was already crying  as her sisters followed her down the isle . he watched as there was light and love in his eyes and pure joy in hers .suddenly it was hard to hate her but he still didn’t want to let go of Aaron just yet so he stayed by his side until she retched him .

“ Hello Katelyn “  andrew greeted her coldly but she smiled at him . she didnt remember him ever using her actual name before . “ thank you “ said quietly “ for coming she added but that wasnt entirely what she meant .  Andrew nodded slightly“ This doesnt mean you like me I know” she teased warmly bringing herself up to her full height showing the few inches she had over both twins .

“of course not.” Andrew said stubbornly but it was without the venom she been accustomed  to hearing from him and he wiped her eyes before gently pressing Aarons hand into hers. “ No refunds “ he said . she gave him the softest smile he had ever seen and then gave Aaron’s hand a tight squeeze.

Andrew’s eyes flicker to Neil’s, who’s blue eyes are fixed on his own not the couples .There was love there too . Andrew  wondered if Aaron would be there for him when they got married he hoped so. Neil smiled slyly and nodded. Andrew winked back at him.  “I promised I wouldn’t make a speech” he said “ but you see- i’ve changed my mind  “ Aaron groaned loudly and Katelyn laughed.

#andrew minyard #aaron minyard #katelyn minyard #neil josten #My writing #requested #sorry it took me a while to get to this one #hope you like it #Asks

[iankabra]

hi all!!

so this year after a good while of being on tumblr i decided “you know what? im gonna initiate conversations w my mutuals.” and i am so DEEPLY glad i did because ive made so many wonderful friends here and had such a lovely time settling into the 1d fandom

first off i want to thank the love of my FUCKING life @touring-is-never-boring,,,, nel i love talking about mika and clothes and lesbianism and gay things and girls and feelings u know??? love u to the moon and back. the SUPERIOR eleanor even tho u dont vibe w that name,, nothing more wonderful than seeing ive recieved several paragraphs of analysis of some random mika song or two people who look alike. LOVE ur mind. thank u for listening whenever i mention two random songs for u to listen to together or when i ramble about harry and louis. & the JOURNEY of this meeks album cycle w you?? the GIFT of mnimh we recieved together? loved it so much. ur beautiful and strong and loevly wanna meet ur ass someday

next i wanna say mx Storm @sweaterxo ,,,, ur SO sweet and kind and have been so helpful and supportive throughout all the dumb issues ive come to u with,, thank u for thinking im funny and that my fashion sense is good. thank you for showing me your nails and things i love them theyre so pretty. your interests are also very cool i will def watch it 2 the second it comes out on digital. also love the occasional spn discussion,,, truly wild as fuck to talk about being removed from t but she was a wild ride. i love u very very much (even tho ur attracted to bill hader)<3

now Cata @smolbirds ur literally SO rad and cool and fun to talk to,, thank you for losing ur shit w me the night harry dropped lights up, for having the kind of hard conversations about politics in chile that we’ve had, and talking w me about linguistics and the spanish language and accents and shit bc thats literally so fun and fascinating. thank u for being my emotional support at the nashville concert when i texted u throughout bc i was losing my fucking shit and thank u for thirsting over becky g w me i love ur ass

SKY @vampireprinceharry i really vibe w you man. like i feel like we just start conversations and im not even thinking about it but then we’re just chatting and vibing and itll last a good while idk idk i like you lots i think youre really great. the talk we had aout dan and phil after dan’s coming out video was genuinely so lovely its so cool to share that kind of experience and reflect on it like that. ily.

and miss morgan @yeehawharry LOVE U BITCH thank u for listening to mika and letting me tell u about him,, also for being my fellow baby bitch in the atl louies gc (cant wait to go to that w you btw) plus the mall was big fun! love last minute christmas (jristmas) shopping with you. ur fun and funny and i really want to hang out again !!

my buddies from the nashville concert,,, alli @velvetsau elsa @cheerleaderharry selena @loudalbum and emphasis on brie @harrp ty for living through that with me and for a wonderful wonderful day. also alli you were one of the first people i started talking to when i decided i was gonna talk to people and u were so nice to me thanku for that.

and of course the entire baby larries group chat, yall are genuinely so sweet and full of positivity and so fun to talk to and i adore all of u i have so much love for all of yall celia @louisprideflag aani @altarrias bia @girlalmightys jorja @yeehawpeacesign charlie @wallsau sophie @twinkofficial hope @chanukahlouis ansh @bisexualhaz and the occasional pop in from bella @dystopianharry

plus,, i literally gotta say <3 to my mate theo @fandom-oracle who ive known a while now!! yes i did nto meet him this year!! bonkers. but ily fellow anti amian warrior. m always here if u need me. shoutout to the rest of the 39 clues discord as well we’re keeping this fandom alive and gay  

and to other lovely people ive talked to this year who i cant wait to talk to even more all the love esp. @holizays @alloutshirt @thepeacering @snflwrgirly @alabamacryptid and all my other wonderful mutuals

madie

#my bullshit #i love u all so much #also ATL larries!!!! but there are so many of yall djslk

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 9

🚨trigger warning: mentions of rape in my notes🚨

"SECRETS"

Notes by me

- the chief from abydos! Also daniels father in law :)

- no glasses!Daniel in this scene

- I love how dedicated Daniel is to his space family and their culture😌 like this random Egyptian planet was like I'm gonna keep you! And he said okie dokie

- "I couldnt possibly be safer than in the company of tealc" AKDEOSNDJSJSSKA

- Jack wants to go back too lol

- Daniel back in his robes 💕

- back home for daniel! To abydos!

- Bodyguard!tealc

- apologizing to sha'res dad for not being able to find her yet 😟 its not your fault babe!

- SHA'RE??? YOUVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME WHAT THE FUCK

- tealc:

- shes pregnant and that is....really bad. If its one of the goaulds that raped her. This got dark real quick

- "husband!" "My daniel" I CANT HANDLE THIS IM ALREADY GOING INSANE

- he doesnt want to bring his hopes up that its actually her 😭

- hes shocked but like.....i would be too

- I was right its apophis kid :\ this so fucked up

- Host Baby??? Big Yikes

- okay I'm gonna say this right fucking now before i watch any more. If Daniel blames her and gets mad at her for being raped and getting pregnant WITHOUT her consent than i will personally come thru this screen and slap the fuck out of him

- meanwhile! Jack and Sam bonding time!

- SAMS DAD

- sha're thinking Daniel wont love her anymore :( she better be wrong or I'm throwing hands

- she said the goauld is Amunet? Is that the dog goddess? Or the crocodile? I'm getting my Egyptian gods mixed up

- Daniel sitting outside to Process™

- "hasnt she gone thru enough?" My brain stopped working I'm so happy hes not not blaming her. Writers for once youre doing something right

- man hes really emotional about this

- tealcs right they need to take her anyway for her own safety.

- do u think he sympathizes with her bc hes been raped too? Its not said but I feel like thats what it is. He knows it wasnt her fault. And that also means they can comfort each other about what happened to them😟bc they understand

- okay why is sams dad being a total dill hole

- "Ive heard nothing about you, sir." Jack youre not off to a great first impression

- Jack making sam smile with sly jokes

- her dad knows she be lyin about her job

- he wants her to go to space HAHA if only he knew. His tiny brain would explode

- Daniel said he loves her no matter what and then gave her a big hug im LOSING MY MIND

- are we keeping the baby??? Am I gonna see Dad!Daniel and mom!sha're ??? 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

- micheal shanks eyes are super blue in this episode for my viewing pleasure only

- protective!Daniel 😍

- I'm just remembering how they met and when she showed him the forbidden drawings in the caves and they spent days together just sharing knowledge. When he found out they were married(in her culture) and just completely accepted it. When he saved her bc he realised he was in love. When he stayed on abydos so that he could live a full life with her and her people because he felt like he belonged. I'm fine

- parents need to ask before they set up things like job interviews. I have personal experience with this and im full of rage

- this reporter literally having a recording of Jack talking about the stargate and Jack flatly denying it. Zero fucks given

- Daniel saying he wont force sha're into anything. Bc up to this point shes been forced into so much!! He knows he needs to let her make her own choices!!! He gets it!!!

- im sorry both Daniel and sha're are so pretty in his episode. My bisexual brain is just having a real good time looking👀

- I REALLY really love it when she calls him "my dan-yel" ❤❤❤

- the SGC has a mole???

- LABOR somebody boil water

- oh its my goauld mans with the sick earrings

- Daniel helping her give birth. Sitting behind her and helping her breathe. I'm love

- "this is where we hid from Ra remember?" Ajdjsisnana thats such a cool detail

- he'll never leave her again there goes my heart

- "It's O'Neill. With two L's. Theres another colonel O'Neil, but he has no sense of humor at all."

- dont you hate when youre about to uncover a huge government secret and then immediately get hit by a car

- shooting the zat gun into the camera was a cool directing choice 🔥

- sam: so I'm getting a medal for my service this week! Cool right?

Jacob Carter: I have cancer

- he could not have been any more blunt

- ok dude cant you just accept the fact that she cant tell you what her job? Dont you know what top secret means? Cant you just be proud of her for what she does already???? Dick

- "I will always love you!!"

- she is scared she will lose Daniel and the baby :(

- its a boy! 💙💙

- the goauld is back in control oh god Daniel run

- shes actually pretty scary as a goauld

- yeah ok shoot the woman who just gave birth tealc YEESH

- that was a good idea to frame Heru'hur tho

- Daniel hesitating to leave her again. My heart is breaking 😢

- they saved the baby at least

- poor sha're didnt even get to see her son 😔

- bringing the baby back to the grandfather was a good idea😊

- this baby is SO SO cute

- is Daniel a stepdad now. Is he gonna come back and play catch with the kid when hes older. Is he gonna fully adopt him. I want him to fully adopt him

- Jack blaming himself for the reporters death. You gotta stop doing this to yourself man

- black shirt Daniel 👀👀👀👀

- HAHA tealc shoving the jaffa into the vortex lmaooo

- "you dare challenge me?"

"I was thinking about it"

- WHEN JACK GRABS HIS KNIFE REAL QUICK AND SPEARS IT INTO APPOPHIS HAND

- she definitely saw them and didnt say anything

- "are you alright?"

"No. No im not.........but I will be."

"She looked directly at us, Daniel jackson. And yet she did not reveal our position." YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS LADS. Theres still hope for my girl. She can fight this I believe in her ✊😤

- I will say it again tho. This storyline for her is very fucked up. No excuses, its just a bit over used in sci fi for the women characters to have surprise pregnancies.

~

Whump under the cut

Tealc whump: fought with jaffa

Daniel jackson whump: shocked, emotional, crying, forced kneeling, back handed

Sam carter whump: emotional , crying

🎶listening to You Are The Reason by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis 🎶 in honor of Daniel and sha're making me lose my collective mind

No glasses!Daniel for most of the episode

#stargate season 2 #no glasses!daniel #bodyguard!tealc #tw rape #tealc whump season 2 #daniel whump season 2 #sam whump season 2

[facingthevoid-blog1]

God, has this been a long time coming to write. I don’t even know where to begin internet. I’m a 22 year old sack of shit. I’ve never felt so fucking numb in my entire life. There’s no reason for it, really. I’m good, life’s good, I’ve got a very loving fiance but I don’t feel a god damn thing. Just numb and sad. Just wanting to cry but I can’t get it out. I sit and think and think and not a fucking thing happens. I often wonder if I’m autistic? Something? I spend my free time looking up various mental disorders to see if I can just find a fucking answer. I don’t want the key to life, I just wanna feel half fucking decent for once in my godforsaken time on this planet. Fuck. I feel like I have no one I can go to. I panic and I just want to fall over and cry for hours but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m trapped with such limited emotional capacity. I wish I could feel. I try and be a good person, really. I do. I don’t remember the last time I felt true happiness that wasnt brought on by drug or alcohol. I could seek professional help, but how far will that get me? I tried antidepressants, they’re all the same. Numb with no highs or lows. I told myself when I got off them I’d rather rawdog this shit and ride the rollercoaster, but I’m really wondering man. I’m really fucking on the edge. I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t want to wake up another day feeling like this, if you can even call this feeling. Its like I’ve fallen down a well with no light or hope or shred of concern for my own well being. Why? Why me? Fuck. I keep replaying the last couple months to see if I have some sort of repressed trauma thats thrown me into this hole but I can’t find a god damn thing. It’s like digging through a dead end case and pulling out my own hair becoming the monster I’m hunting in the process. It’s such a dark place. The blackest black, a void I never thought could exist. Is there an escape? I sure hope so. Losing Joe didn’t hurt that bad, I wasn’t that close with him. But he had become family. He was family. He had a family, he was someones son. Someones uncle. He mattered. I do miss his one liners. I miss his presence. I miss Lou. I miss Buddy. I miss Dan. I never had to process death like this. I never had to face the crushing reality that in a fucking instant we can just cease to exist. Gone. Stardust and dirt. And what are any of us to really accomplish in this life? Nothing. Nothing beyond some fucking instagram photos and maybe a couple piece of shit children just like me. I wish my parents had never met. I wish even had they met like they did they hadnt married. They’re so fucking bad for each other. They’re so fucking awful to themselves. Mom is a basket case who wont do a fucking thing to help herself and just posts dumbass shit on facebook to feel the gratification of a couple likes over a fucking coffee meme. For WHAT? Stop fucking worrying and go do something. ANYTHING. Get your fucking mind together and quit wishing you could change yourself when all you do is sit on your ass drinking coffee and pretending dad is a good person. Fuck you too dad. Fuck you. You abusive lazy piece of shit. I can’t forgive you for the things I’ve heard you say and do. I’ll never fucking forget seeing you kick mom down those three last steps and tell her to shut the fuck up cause she was upsetting me while you stood over her like a powerhouse to obtain control. And then to find me clutching the phone with 911 dialed and just tell me, “Everythings okay” and go to work like it was nothing. How DARE you take that innocence away. How DARE you fucking act like nothing ever happened. How dare you throw her into the open cabinet door, how dare you grab her by the throat. FUCK you. HOW DARE I BE FORCED TO RELIVE THIS TRAUMA WHILE DRUNK ALREADY TRYING TO ESCAPE MY OWN CRUSHING REALITY. FUCK YOU. I hate this. I hate that this is just what I’m stuck with. This is my reality. A father with an abusive past, a mother who wont help herself, a sister who will never speak of the things she’s seen, a brother who’s gonna be the only one to escape. And what about me? WHAT ABOUT ME? Am I just left here to pick up the pieces and fucking suffer? Is this a test? Cut the lights. Pull me out of this fucking simulation. GIVE ME SOMETHING. SOMETHING TO FEEL. SOMETHING TO DO. SOMETHING BEYOND TWO PATHETIC DAYS TO FACE A WEEKS WORRIES AND HAVE NO TIME TO PROCESSS A NY OF THIS. I’M LOSING IT. IM SLIPPING,. GIVE ME A SIGN GOD. GIVE ME SOMETHING. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. Whats a life worth when the contents of that life are pain and depression and a void? What’s my life/ What’s the point of continuing? No. I must keep going. It doesn’t matter if I don’t consider half my family to mean nothing to me. It doesn’t matter the cards I’ve been dealt. I need to fucking man up. I need to wear a belt and smile and trek through this shitshow of an existence. I’ve got shit to see and places to go and clothes to wear. Eat my dick void. Will I find a solution? Stay tuned. But I can’t sit anymore. I need to do something. I know. I know. i know.

[dnly]

Fascinating | D.S.

Daniel knew from the every beginning that thirdwheeling is a bad decision he made, but did he really regretted it?

warning(s): swearing, fluff oml,

word count: 2003

a/n: requested by anon. send me your requests if you have and also let me know if you wanna be part of the taglist :) enjoy!

"Daniel! We don't have all day!!!" Corbyn shouted so that his best friend, Daniel, would hear him.

"I'm coming!" he throws a shout back which earned a groan from the couple.

Christina was crossing her arms already which made Corbyn worry, "Baby, we can just ditch him if you want?"

She grinned and laughed with his boyfriend, Corbyn knew her girlfriend wasn't that type of person who gets annoyed when her boyfriend's best friend tag along on their date.

"Alright! I'm all done." he announced as he arrived in the living room. Both deadpanned seeing him after another five minutes.

"Dude, what took you so long to get ready?" Corbyn asked confusingly as they walk out from the house and hopped inside the car. "It's not like you have a date."

Daniel glared at his best friend's remark, rolling his eyes as he buckled his seatbelt at the back.

"It's not like I have a choice, you know." he crosses his arms like a little kid who got scolded by his mother.

"Corbyn didn't mean it that way, Dani." Christina tried to contain herself from laughing, including Corbyn. "Let's just have fun today, okay?"

Both boys agreed as Corbyn started the engine and then driving off to the most magical and the happiest place on earth—Disneyland. The three started singing songs from the radio as well as them taking Snapchat and Instagram stories, that's just how life goes.

Christina was visiting her boyfriend in Los Angeles which made them come to a conclusion to go to Disneyland. Daniel doesn't really want to go with them in the first place, but the other boys made him to. He couldn't hang-out with Jonah, Jack and Zach. The three boys also went off to wherever those places were with their girlfriends and he doesn't want to go with any of them since he's not really close with any of those girls, except for Christina. Which he knew almost two years ago.

As they arrive in Disneyland, Corbyn and Christina were so excited to catch-up and have fun, including Daniel, well sort of. They stroll around the amusement park talking and just enjoying the sunny day in LA. The trio started doing the listed activities they wrote before they arrived in Disneyland, such as riding some rides and doing some fun activities that they would enjoy. It was honestly nice to get out and enjoy with his best buds. But it made Daniel think how lonely he can get, as he is the only one who doesn't have a girlfriend.

"Oh my goodness!!! This is just the perfect view!" Christina said excited as she takes her phone out, they reached the famous castle of Cinderella. "Daniel, can you take a photo of us?"

Daniel took the phone from her as both Corbyn and Christina poses with the castle on the background. Like their usual pose together, they did a wacky pose, they kissed and then Corbyn carried his girlfriend into a bridal style.

"Damn, I hate being single." Daniel sighed as he takes the pictures. "Just give me credits, thanks."

They went to a café to chat more about life and all good stuff—Christina with her career and school then the boys with the new music they're working on. The three enjoyed catching-up, they barely noticed it was getting dark. While they were waiting for the fireworks, there was a particular ride they wanted to try before ending their day.

"Space Mountain Ghost Galaxy," Corbyn read the sign, "This is going to be sick."

"I think, I'm gonna be sick." Christina said sarcastically.

"Piece of cake." Daniel bragged which earned some scoffs from the couple. They walked up to the line and waited.

Surprisingly, it didn't take too long for them to get accomodated to the ride itself. As they walk looking for a perfect spot in the ride, Daniel noticed how the seats are only good for two people, which means that Daniel should sit either behind or ahead from the couple.

"Daniel, take the back seat." Corbyn patted Daniel's shoulders as they walk towards the desired seats.

"For the ninth time, I hate being single. It sucks."

"Bro, it's not the end of the world!" he shaked his shoulder, "Hey, what if..." he wiggled his brows at him.

"What if?"

"What if, you'll meet her here. Right?"

"What if not?" Daniel stared at him blankly.

"I got no time to deal with your negativity," Corbyn sang while he gazes at Daniel.

"I'm losing my patience..." Daniel sang the next line.

"Why don't we forget about all of the drama, all of the odds and the problems." Corbyn changed song.

"So we could just chill?" Daniel sangs confusingly.

"That's the spirit! Now, take the seat behind ours."

"Corbyn!!!" Christina stood from the near seat calling her boyfriend and Corbyn took the seat beside hers.

"Later, bro." he said to Daniel as he sighs, taking a seat beside a girl.

Fastening his seatbelt as he took his phone out trying to make himself busy. They were still waiting for the rollercoaster to load up.

"Nice singing, by the way." the girl beside her spoke. Daniel glanced at her while furrowing his brows, "Well, you and your friend sang earlier. Right?"

Daniel payed attention to her, when he realized how beautiful this human being beside him is. She wasn't the typical or basic girl you'll see around LA—her beauty was completely different. She is beautiful, Daniel thought.

"Yes, that was us." he finally spoke.

"You got a pretty cool voice," she smiled shyly.

"You got a pretty face too," Daniel muttered as he stares at her beautiful brown eyes, Daniel got to admit. He has a thing for girls with brown eyes.

"Sorry, what?"

His eyes widen as he realized what he said, "I meant, thanks." She blushed?

Well, that was something.

While waiting for a couple of minutes, Daniel was so occupied of how beautiful his 'seatmate' in the rollercoaster was. She's sweet and seemed shy, Daniel thought.

Not long when the ride started its engine, earning some shouts. Daniel can deal this type of rides. Like the last time he rode a rollercoaster with the boys, when he was caught texting in the middle of the extreme ride while the other four guys are probably screaming behind those pictures. So, he was pretty chill with this one.

When it got faster, he tightened his grip from the handle.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." her absolutely beautiful 'seatmate' cursed.

At first, Daniel didn't mind.

But when it got faster and faster. He wasn't prepared with what he was about to hear.

"FUCKING SHIT!!!" the beautiful girl beside her shouted as loud as she could. "HOLY SHIT!!! DAMN! SHI-AAAAHHHHH!!!"

Daniel's eyes widen as he sees his seatmate couldn't contain herself from cursing, a grin creeped on Daniel's lips. I didn't see that coming, but it was fascinating. He thought.

"MAKE THIS FUCKING THING STOP!!! OH MY GOODNESS! IM-" she stopped it gor faster again, "FUCK!!! THIS SHIT IS MAKING ME SICK! PLEASE STOP THIS THING!!!"

"AAAHHHH!!!" Daniel joined her, which made her look at him. And both of them screamed and laughed together, then a flashed came out of nowhere.

"PLEASE SEND HELP! IMMA GONNA DIE!!!"

After a few more rounds, the beautiful 'I still don't know your name' girl kept cussing and shouting with whatever her head is thinking. She's as opposite as Daniel thought her to be, how fascinating.

As the rollercoaster slowed down as it reaches its end, the beautiful 'I still don't know your name' girl kept talking.

She panted as she cups her face with her small hands, "Dear Lord God, please help me." she pouted as she tried to recover from the extreme ride.

"Are you okay?" Daniel asked concernly as he holds her wrist.

She looks up at him, making her brown ones looked at his blue ones. It was weird how his stares would make her calm, she thought.

"Y-yeah, this shit wants to make me piss all the butterbeer I had earlier."

He chuckled which made her grin a little, "Hey, Dan-oh... Hi!" Corbyn awknowledged as he noticed Daniel is talking to his seatmate and 'I still don't know your name' girl waved at Corbyn with a smile. "We'll meet you outside, bro." Daniel nodded while Corbyn and Christina flashed him meaningful smiles.

Thank God for a friend like Corbyn.

As the couple left, Daniel unbuckled his seatbelt then so as his seatmate. He got up from his seat as he offered her a hand, which she gladly accepted.

"Uh-hey, not trying to be a creep but why are you riding that thing alone?" Daniel asked as they walk together.

"Well, as you can see, nobody wants to ride that badass with me because they wouldn't define it as fun." she crunched her nose and making 'fun' clear as possible which made Daniel smile, "How about you?"

"What about me?"

"Why are you thirdwheeling? Aren't they bothered or something?"

Oh, shit. Nice way to impress a girl, Daniel. He thought.

"Or something?" he grinned then chuckled, "No, they didn't mind at all." he replied, "Which is a good thing."

She laughed, Daniel couldn't help but smile at her beautiful and genuine smile. How her smile shone in the night. It was magical.

It gets more magical when fireworks started to fill the dark sky with various colors, both of them look up seeing the beautiful sky filled with colors. Daniel gazed at her, seeing her stunning and contagious smile while she looks up. The fireworks reflected on her twinkly eyes which Daniel find it fascinating. He couldn't comprehend how he's feeling right now but he was happy.

Not long when she caught his gaze at her which made Daniel look up again, she smiled at herself of how beautiful her night was about to end. Meeting a boy on a rollercoaster.

When the fireworks ended everybody cheered, Daniel looked at her once more. "I didn't get your name, though. I'm Daniel, by the way."

"Hi, I'm Y/N." she smiled as she extended her hand to him which he shook with his.

"Y/N!!!" a little girl around three years old ran towards Y/N, she picked her up just to make sure she doesn't fall.

"Well, this is my cue." Y/N kissed her sister's cheek which Daniel believed, "I'll see you around, Daniel."

"See you around, Y/N." he smirked at her, she smiled in return. She waved at him and so is the little girl that she's carrying.

"Bro, what was that?!" Corbyn approached whose been watching the whole scene. They handshaked.

"I don't know, man." Daniel shook his head while smiling. "It was magical."

"By the way, we took your photo at the rollercoaster in case you forgot." Corbyn handed Daniel the developed photo.

Once he accepted it, he barely noticed he was smiling as he admired the picture of him and Y/N. Both of them were probably laughing their asses off since smiles had been plastered on their faces in the picture. It was pure joy.

"How romantic." Christina butted in as Corbyn wrapped his arm around her.

"Whatever, guys." he rolled his eyes.

"Seriously though, this is really cute and she's so pretty too." Christina commented.

"It has been a nice night." that was all Daniel said.

"Oh, just admit it has been a great night!" Corbyn chuckled. Daniel smiled as they walk on the way out from the amusement park.

Maybe tagging along wasn't such a bad idea. At the end of the day, he met a girl who is fascinating enough to not let him sleep that night.

It was true.

Daniel would admit, it was a great night. Y/N made Daniel's night.

Taglist: @alyssaah15 @beccagraceseavey @autumnseavey @ashley-youtube

#why don't we #why don't we music #why don't we imagines #why dont we #why dont we imagines #why dont we music #daniel james seavey #daniel seavey x reader #daniel seavey imagine #daniel seavey #daniel seavey imagines #corbyn besson #corbyn besson imagines #corbyn besson x reader #jack avery #jack avery imagines #jack avery x reader #jonah marais #jonah marais imagines #jonah marais x reader #zach herron #zach herron imagines #zach herron x reader #jack robert avery #corbyn matthew besson #zachary dean herron #corbyn besson imagine #zach herron imagine #jack avery imagine #jonah marais roth frantzich

[saints-row-2]

film watch day 3: Venom

Venom is only tangentially a horror movie so it probably isnt really fair to include it in my “watch a horror movie every day for a month” list but there is absolutely nothing i could watch today that means as much as Venom does so its going to have to fly

i use this image specifically because it really represents the best bits of Venom. namely; Venom (Tom Hardy) bullies the life out of Eddie (Tom Hardy), while Eddie looks like hes dying of consumption. the rest of the film happens around them, sure, but none of the other actors can hold a candle to Tom Hardy, who storms through this movie doing whatever the fuck he wants and stealing the entire show so hard the film goes from being a dull 2003 style origin story to his own personal Little Shop of Horrors homage. 

Eddie Brock is an edgy tv reporter with his own news show dedicated to covering stories people DONT want to talk about, which i found pretty immediately sympathetic. anyway. he cant resist himself and tries to confront local Elon Musk rip-off Carlton Drake (Riz Ahmed) about the deaths in Drake’s human testing program related to his search for a cure for cancer. Eddie is promptly fired, and loses his girlfriend and apartment to boot. however, determined to find out the truth, Eddie breaks into Drake’s testing facility, and gets himself infected with the alien symbiote known as Venom. the film then completely loses its own mind. 

Venom’s plot is nonsense. it has at least one major recurring plot thread that goes absolutely nowhere and multiple smaller storylines that have no endings. the character arcs are often inexplicable. the post-climax ending scene happens with next to no explanation at all. the film feels like it had those 40 minutes of scenes Tom Hardy mentioned being cut ripped out. but i didnt particularly give a shit watching the movie and i dont particularly give a shit now.

Venom, as a film, wanted to be a scary edgy action-horror. Tom Hardy wanted to make a buddy cop comedy movie, and because hes the main character, thats what the movie is now. i really cant overstate how fucking good Tom Hardy is in this movie. hes incredibly charming, funny, and likeable, and his chemistry with himself is fantastic. as soon as Venom and Eddie Brock meet the film kicks off in a major way. 

maybe this is my own love of characters who are as you might say “off their shits” is giving me enormous bias but i found myself watching every scene Tom Hardy was in with a kind of rapturous glee. watching Eddie and Venom fight about biting off heads, freaking out in a public restaurant, squabble like children and do ridiculous motorcycle stunts was fucking delightful. 

the film is a mess. but its kind of fucking glorious as well and frankly if youve got an aching desire for a complex plot-driven thriller you can fuck off with that attitude. i watched Venom to see Tom Hardy completely wild out and had a fucking blast. theres a scene where Eddie Brock eats a live lobster. 

what helps the movie as well is how competent and likeable all the other actors are. i got the strong impression Riz Ahmed wasnt exactly deeply moved by his role as Stock Villain, but he fucking does his job well and gives some fun, bizarrely intense nihilistic nonsense speeches. Michelle Williams definitely wasnt given enough to do, but is sharp and funny as Ann. Reid Scott plays Ann’s boyfriend who would ostensibly be Eddie’s romantic rival in any other movie, but is actually a very nice, friendly dude, and i found the lack of romantic tension and bickering between Ann, Eddie and Dan (Scott) really refreshing; it helps keep the focus on Eddie and Venom instead of bogging the plot down in romantic drama. Eddie bounces around the film as a hot mess who cracks wise while needing help and again, was immensely sympathetic in his position as, as Venom says, “a loser”. 

as nuts as this probably sounds, i actually have huge hopes for a Venom 2; i think given a second time round seeing the successes of this movie, they could make a really competent weird buddy comedy with more direct focus on Eddie and Venom. still though, im enormously thankful that Tom Hardy apparently impromptu decided he was going to start remaking The Mask.

if you arent convinced that Venom is the movie for you, you probably arent capable of fun. not to overrate this movie, but if you didnt enjoy it, fuck you. thats all. 

COULD have been gayer. 

#rantsfilmwatch

[switchdnp]

Joystick

Summary: Literally just Phil sitting on Dan’s face while he plays Fortnite. I didn’t think I’d have to write this but thanks to Phil’s nudity, and to Dan exposing him, I think it’s necessary

Word count: 1612

Warnings: rimming, dirty talk, a teensy bit of humiliation maybe, even teensier bit of overstim, blowjobs, horrendously sappy ending

A/n: I know the title is shit and makes no sense bc dicks aren’t even the prime focus of this smut, but I just think they’re neat (and im bad with titles)

“Y’know, you’re not supposed to get so invested in this game that you completely forget about paying attention to your boyfriend.” Dan teased, he was curled up on the couch beside Phil, watching him flick and press the buttons on his controller almost frantically, determined to win this time.

“I mean, seriously, you’re so into this you can’t even bother wearing clothes.” He continued, watching as Phil’s focus slowly started to deteriorate. He was biting his lip to keep himself from laughing, the smile creeping on his face a testament to the fact that not even a game could keep Phil’s attention away from Dan.

“Shut up,” He giggled, even as his cheeks flushed when Dan made a point of wiggling his eyebrows and looking down, eyeing the obvious bulge—soft, but still noticeable, thanks to Phil’s considerable size—under the fluffy blanket Phil had used to retain what little modesty he had left. “you’re a jerk.”

“Oh I’m the jerk now, am I? I would think you’re being the rude one here, you can’t even take your eyes off the screen.” Dan chastised, smirking as he watched the flush on Phil’s cheeks spread down his neck and to the tips of his ears. He was so easily flustered. Even a little bit of banter would leave him blushing and embarrassed in a nice way, the nicest way that Phil could imagine. It makes his stomach flutter and heart race, and he’s never thought he could enjoy being teased as much as he does when Dan does it.

Still, he pretends to be irritated in the fond, loving way he knows Dan is so familiar with and will do anything to get out of Phil, betraying the now full-blown bright smile on his face. “You’re too mean.” He says, and it just makes Dan laugh even harder, even cheekier. He’s too proud of himself. Phil loves it.

“And you’re a little cocktease.” Dan retorts, making Phil nearly choke on air. Eight years together, and he still manages to take Phil by surprise with that ever so filthy mouth.

“Dan,” is all Phil has to offer in response, beyond flustered at this point.

“Well it’s true, isn’t it?” Dan says, shuffling closer to Phil as he speaks. He can feel how warm he is, how much he’s flushed all over now, and it makes Dan’s heart swell with something in between love and a sense of accomplishment. “You just want my eyes on you all the time. Want me giving you all my attention, don’t you?”

Phil pouts, but he knows Dan’s right. He won’t deny how much he adores getting Dan focused on him and only him. Distracted from work or editing with how much he loves Phil, how much he wants Phil.

Phil realizes he’s half-hard just from thinking about it, and that shouldn’t surprise him—they’re both far too easily riled up for their age—but somehow it just drives home Dan’s point in the perfect way, proves everything he says is right. It’s just a little humiliating, and Phil loves it.

Dan notices, of course he does, and he doesn’t spare a second before groping over Phil’s cock under the blanket, clutching and running his fingers along the outline. Phil squirms, but he doesn’t shy away from it, hands gripping the PS4 controller tighter. Dan, once again, can’t help but notice how Phil still hasn’t given up trying to play, and it makes him laugh out loud.

“Are you seriously playing Fortnite while I’m jerking you off?” He chuckled, fingers now having migrated to the head of Phil’s cock, toying absentmindedly, and thumb rubbing his slit through the thin blanket.

“Hey, you’re not really doing anything yet!” Phil insisted, though Dan was definitely doing something to him, considering how he was already fully hard, leaking at the tip. Honestly, no 31 year old man should have to suffer being as horny as he is. Wasn’t his sex drive supposed to have dwindled down by now?

“Is that a challenge?” Dan asked, sliding his hand under the blanket now. He hadn’t fully wrapped around Phil yet, choosing instead to continue teasing, rubbing his palm over the head and watching as Phil’s hips twitched with it.

“Maybe. What do you have in mind?”

“I could ride you, or finger you open.” Dan suggested, earning an embarrassed whine from Phil. He was always so surprised with how Dan could just say things like that with no trouble, no filter. No matter how familiar he is with it by now. “Or you could ride me, fuck yourself on my cock as you play.”

Phil gasped when Dan accompanied those words with finally, finally stroking his cock. His hips stuttered, jolting up and doing their best to match Dan’s fast, unforgiving pace.

“Too much work, don’t wanna have to shower afterwards.” Phil said, resisting the urge to let his eyes flutter shut and melt into the pleasure, melt into Dan.

“Well, how about you ride my face then? Can’t cum in you that way.”

Phil shivered, and Dan didn’t even need a vocal answer to know that was what he wanted. It took a bit of shuffling, repositioning, and a whole lot of Dan reassuring Phil that no, he wouldn’t crush him, or suffocate him to death. Dan stroked Phil’s thighs reassuringly as he got into position, gently settling himself down. Dan pulled him the rest of the way, eagerly licking over Phil’s rim, and priding himself on the surprised squeal Phil let out.

Dan didn’t let up then, burying his face between Phil’s cheeks, and flicking his tongue in and out, alternating between teasing and overwhelming his boyfriend. Phil was already shaking on top of him, the controller falling from his hands—and narrowly avoiding landing on Dan’s head—as he started to rut down against Dan’s tongue.

“F-fuck, ‘s so good, too good. You always make me feel so good, Dan.” Phil whimpered, scrabbling uselessly for the remote. Dan was thrusting in and out, fucking him with his tongue, and Phil could barely gather himself enough to even reach the abandoned controller. Dan muttered something muffled, and Phil pulled off for a moment to let him speak, giving him enough time to get himself together and grab the remote.

“What’d you say?”

Dan had the audacity to smirk. “You just taste so good, baby.”

Phil lost it, keening and letting Dan tug him back down again, riding his face without any hesitation, any shame. He tried keeping his focus on the tv screen, tried to avoid the other more aggressive players that were all too happy to unknowingly take advantage of the impaired state Phil was in. But with Dan’s tongue licking him open, stretching Phil without even using his fingers, giving it his all until there was spit running down Phil’s thighs and his cock was positively dripping—it was almost impossible.

Phil could feel the knot in his stomach growing tighter, his blood running hot and his heart beating too fast as he raced closer and closer to his release. He didn’t want to cum yet, wanted to stay like this as long as he could, with Dan taking care of him and enjoying everything he did, enjoying giving Phil pleasure. He wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock, squeezing tight.

Dan must have had different plans, however, because he slapped Phil’s hand off his dick, jerking quick and fast. Phil whined, but let Dan do as he pleased, finally dropping the controller for real, and letting himself go with the overwhelming stimulation. Dan’s giving him everything he wants and more, hands on his hips now, guiding Phil when he grinds down. He manages to slip a finger in beside his tongue, not giving Phil a second to adjust before thrusting in and out easily. It’s too much too fast and Phil fucking loves it, sobs himself hoarse as it sends him over the edge.

Dan works him through his orgasm, not stopping until Phil’s pulling away and whimpering from the overstimulation. Phil, as gracefully as he can manage in his fucked-out state, rolls off of Dan and back onto the couch. He doesn’t waste a second before pulling Dan’s cock out of his sweats, wrapping his lips around the tip and going down all the way in one quick bob, taking him as deep as he can without gagging. Dan doesn’t need much, he’s been turned on since he got his tongue inside Phil. It only takes a few minutes before he’s cumming down Phil’s throat, chuckling when his boyfriend pops up with a self-satisfied smirk.

He shuffles onto his stomach and rests his head in Dan’s lap, murmuring something about how Dan owes him lots of cuddles and affection since he made him lose the game. Dan’s more than happy to oblige, running his fingers through Phil’s hair, and even daring to chance a poke to his nose. They spend the rest of the afternoon like that, Dan picking up the remote and trying to play himself, with Phil drifting off comfortably, occasionally scolding Dan with a too-cheeky smile on his face whenever he does something wrong. It’s uneventful, but peaceful, and neither would want it any other way.

-

#bottom!phil #top!dan #phan smut #phanfic #phanfiction #phan fic #sub!phil #phan hc #im dying #sashawrites

[jelixpo]

I Want a Rematch

Author's note: ~This is a fictional story featuring the pairing between jack//septic//eye and ego//raptor, or Jackraptor for short. The events portrayed in this story are in no way real and any similarities between real-life scenarios and what is depicted in this text are completely unintentional. Do not contact either J/ack or A/rin about questions relating to this story, as this may make them uncomfortable. Furthermore, do not contact either S/igne or S/uzy with questions relating to this story as this is disrespectful to them. Thank you.~

After Jack's tragic display of his inability to play pinball during the Grump's 10 minute power hour, he's determined to prove to Arin that he can beat him. While he does end up losing again, he wins something different.

  "Damn it!" Jack shouted as he watched another ball of his fall between the two bumper switches meant to keep it up as they flailed rapidly, his fingers feeling sore as he mashed the two buttons on either side of the machine he was playing on.    "Wow," Arin huffed out in honest amazement, "I think you are actually the worst pinball player I have ever met," he said, beginning to chuckle. Jack shot Arin an annoyed look, unable to stop himself from smiling.    "I was playing it up for the camera! I was pretending to be bad!" Jack lied.    "Dude, the camera has been turned off for the last hour," Arin spoke, pushing right through Jack's weak lie, "I think you're just bad," He began to laugh, shaking his head.    "Come on man, give me some credit! It's my first time," Jack tried to reason with his friend.    "First time? This is your 50th time playing to-fucking-day! Don't give me that horse shit!" Arin yelled back, half laughing as he did so.    "Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty. Can we go eat now?" Dan called from across the room as he lounged on the grump couch, scrolling absent-mindedly through his phone.    "Hell to the yes," Arin said as he stepped away from the machine, "I'm fucking starving."    Jack huffed as he followed Arin, "Fine. But after we're done, we're coming right back here and I want a fucking rematch!" Jack jabbed enthusiastically.    "Oh, you want to lose for the 51st time today?" Arin teased, turning back to smirk at Jack. Jack shook his head slowly and squinted his eyes.    "Shut up," Jack huffed sarcastically.    "Sweet, let's head out then," Dan said as he stood up from his spot on the couch and followed his friends out the door, grabbing his coat on the way out.    Jack and Arin continued their light banter as they walked out the door and onto the street, continuing their argument through until they reached the car. Stepping inside the vehicle they intended to take to the restaurant their playful jokes seemed to only grow in immaturity and playfulness.    "Fuck you," Jack snapped playfully in response to a jab at his ego.    "Gladly. Bend over," Arin shot back quickly, earning a boisterous laugh from all those who were in the vehicle.    It wasn't long before they pulled into the parking lot of a rustic looking restaurant with the sound of conversation and music flowing from its walls. The 3 who rode to the restaurant all stepped out of the vehicle and began to make their way into the restaurant, immediately spotting their group of friends at a table as they did so. They walked over and all pulled up a chair at a table with Mark, Amy, Brian and Ross all seated around them.    "We thought you'd never get here!" Brian commented as the 3 sat down.    "Sorry, had to watch Jack lose horribly a couple times," Arin spoke back, glancing over at Jack to see his annoyed reaction.    "Can't you just watch him do that any time?" Mark shot back, a slight grin on his face.    Jack threw his hands up in shocked annoyance, a grin plastered on his face, "Fuck you guys!" he couldn't help but laugh as he spoke.    "Aw, it's okay Jack," Amy spoke. Jack smiled at her, thinking she would be the one to pay him some type of compliment, "Some of us are just there to make other people look really good," She teased, earning a fit of laughter from the table.    "Well then, you should be thanking me, Arin. I made you look better than you have in years!" Jack shot back, earning another round of laughs from their friends.    "I'll give you that. Lord knows how hard it must be to make me look good," Arin reasoned, allowing Jack a moment to pick up the pieces of his shattered ego.    The group of friends chatted enthusiastically amongst each other as they sat at their table. Their food eventually came and went as the night went on. Nearing the end of their meal, a couple people amongst the group were beginning to grow silent as the conversation progressed, the hefty meal they had eaten being the cause of their beginning drowsiness. Soon after their plates had been cleared it seemed as though Jack and Arin were the only ones left with energy for conversation.    Amy lifted the back of her hand over her mouth as she attempted to hide a yawn, "I think I better leave before my head hits this table," She stated after she finished yawning, shaking her head slightly in an attempt to keep herself alert.    "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," Mark agreed, taking his van keys out of his pocket and holding them in his hand, "Plus I gotta edit a couple things before I hit the hay, so we better get going anyway." Mark and Amy both stood up from the table.    "I've still got this giant project to work on as well so I better get home to that while the night is still young," Ross added, standing up from the table as well.    "Brian and I where gonna go see a movie or something," Dan gestured to his friend sitting next to him, "We'll decide in the car."    "What's your guys' plan?" Brian asked, looking over at Arin and Jack who had made no attempt to get up from the table. Jack whipped his head to stare Arin in the eyes, his expression filled with determination.    "I'm getting that fucking rematch, that's my plan," Jack nodded as he spoke, his voice both stern and playful at the same time.    "Wouldn't miss it for the world," Arin leaned closer to Jack and matching his friend's fiery expression.    "Alright. I'll hop in with Brian so you guys can take the van back to the Grump space," Dan said as he dug the van keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Arin who caught them, mind you, with a little fumbling.    "Thanks, man," Arin spoke back to Dan, standing up from the table as he did so. Jack followed his actions as their group began to disband, each of them doing a little half wave as they walked out to their respective vehicles.    Jack hopped into the front passenger's seat as Arin began to start the vehicle, "I'm gonna kick your ass," He spat playfully as Arin pulled out of their parking spot.    "That's right Jack, I am going to kick your ass," Arin poked back, a smirk on his face.    It didn't take long before they were once again pulling up to the Grump space and walking inside. Seeing as they were only going to be using one room and they really didn't need that much light to play since they weren't recording anymore, only 3 lamps went on in the space. The small amount of light they provided created a calming ambience throughout the room, the lighting becoming a nice blend of gold into dark brown.    "I need mood lighting to kick your ass," Arin said smugly as he flicked on the last lamp, satisfied with the light it now provided.    "Ooh, how romantic," Jack put on a sultry voice as he leaned sensually against the pinball machine, "it's fitting since you'll be kissing my ass later."   Arin scoffed as he made his way over to Jack and the pinball machine, "You wish," He tutted, placing his hands on the machine and beginning to turn it on. With a quick flick of his wrist, his ball was sent flying into the machine and the game was on.   Arin rapidly tapped away against the buttons on either side of the machine, controlling the bumper switches and watching them flail and shoot his ball up further into the machine. Sounds of hight pitched pings sounded from the machine as the ball bounced against point multipliers and the bumpers. The ball began to descend towards the hole at the bottom of the machine but a quick and skilful mashing of the buttons sent it flying back up again. Jack watched silently from the side, trying to watch Arin's movements and hopefully learn his strategies for himself. Arin's eyes didn't leave the ball as ping after ping came from the machine, his score number rising higher and higher with every correctly timed flick of his fingers. As skilful as he was there did come a point where the ball began to descend straight down once again and one wrong flick of the right bumper switch allowed it passage into the dark depths below, ending Arin's turn. He let out a sigh as he stepped back from the machine, releasing his tensed-up shoulders.    "This should be entertaining," Arin teased as he and Jack switched places.    "Well, yeah. Watching me win will always be entertaining," Jack replied smugly.    Still with the smug look plastered on his face, without so much as a glance toward the machine, Jack stared straight at Arin as he flicked his wrist and sent his ball flying up and into play. He slowly turned his head back to the machine and kept as calm a composure as he could, trying to feign some form of superior knowledge and skill. His calm demeanour quickly changed as he remembered the fact that he did not have superior skill, let alone knowledge. His eyes darted after his ball as he quickly mashed on the buttons. He saved his ball just in time from falling down and shot it up into the point multipliers, the pinging noises coming from the machine allowing him to think he was doing very well with the positive sounds they made. He relaxed, which is the worst thing to do when playing a game of pinball. Immediately, as if acting on the sheer will of karma alone, his ball hit a point multiplier at a weird angle and shot straight back down against his bumper switches. He sporadically mashed the buttons and was able to save his ball if only for a moment before it immediately hit the underside of one of the bumpers and shot straight back down into the hole below, his button mashing inevitably causing his ball to be shot straight down, ending his turn. He looked up at his score, clinging to some form of hope that he got extremely lucky and somehow got good numbers. It was less than a quarter of Arin's score. He leaned his elbows on the machine and put his head in his hands, heaving a long sigh of defeat.    "Soo, you still playing it up for the camera?" Arin leaned down next to Jack and spoke in a tender voice. Even as gentle as he was trying to be, he could not completely cover the shakiness his laughter put into his voice. Jack groaned in response.    "Why do I suck ass?" Jack asked in a defeated tone.    "Because you're just so good at it," Arin reasoned jokingly before standing up straighter and walking around Jack, "Come on, I'll help you this time," He said. Jack stood up, expecting Arin to merely stand beside him and tell him what to do. However, things suddenly got very warm around him and a larger set of fingers slipped over his own. He couldn't help but cringe and begin to giggle.    "Oh, not this shit again!" Jack giggled as he felt his back go flat against Arin's chest.    "Oh, come on. It'll help, I promise!" Arin reasoned as he situated himself, "Go on, start it."    "Jesus Christ," Jack sighed as he reached down and flicked his wrist once more causing his, now their, ball to spring into action.    Arin immediately mashed his fingers overtop of Jack's, sending their ball flying up into the point multipliers. Jack watched and felt as Arin expertly worked their ball around the machine, the constant ping of the multipliers filling the room instantly.    "Wow. Does everyone get this special treatment?" Jack jokingly asked with an innocent voice, batting his eyelashes for no one in particular. Arin chuckled at his comment.    "No, just you," Arin responded a little more tender than Jack expected. He giggled softly and shook his head.    He turned his attention back to the ball that was being played and, more importantly, the rapidly rising score they were getting. Arin had almost doubled his score, which did not come with much surprise since the point multipliers where still going crazy. While Arin seemed slightly tense Jack felt none of it, largely due to the fact that he didn't really have to worry about the way they were playing since he wasn't really in control. He watched as their ball landed wrong against one of the bumpers and headed straight for the hole at the bottom of the machine. Having memorised the way in which Arin pressed his buttons, Jack instinctively mashed away at their right bumper stick and shot their ball straight back up into the multipliers.    "There you go," Arin spoke softly, slightly startling Jack as he had not realised just how close Arin had gotten to his ear. Glancing over, he noticed the other man's cheek was hovering just inches away from his, their noses practically parallel as Arin leaned over his shoulder, "Now you're gettin' it," Arin encouraged softly, not taking his eyes off of the ball.    "Well, I have a good teacher," Jack complimented back, enjoying the softer moment they shared. His chest felt warm as he felt Arin's heart beating against his back, the warmth of him radiating into Jack's smaller frame. Jack sighed and slightly leaned back into Arin, "Mmm, you're so warm," he commented in a low voice, still watching their ball with content, half-lidded eyes. He could feel the slight change in Arin's chest as he smiled.    Jack had never seen this soft side of Arin before. He was usually so loud and boisterous, always the centre of attention whether he wanted it or not. He could be so heavy-handed and harsh, especially whenever he got extremely angered at a game. But now, he was so gentle, so soft. He felt like a dreamy cloud against Jack's back and he was sure he might fall asleep right then and there if he wasn't careful. He liked Arin showing this side to him, feeling comfortable enough to do so. Maybe what Arin said earlier really was true. Maybe this sort of treatment really was just for him. Jack's heart started beating a little faster at the thought. He felt special. And being special to Arin? Well, he was sure his heart would just beat right out of his chest then and there.    Then Arin's smile went away. Jack could feel it. The air changed, and Arin seemed to tense up against him.    "What?" Jack asked, concerned. Arin never acted this way.    He was silent for a moment, "I just," he began, then stopped to chuckle shakily, "I just realised that we're not... we're not recording. I'm not sure why I thought we were but... Now I'm just... Unironically holding you," Arin took a shaky step away from Jack. Everything felt so cold all of a sudden.    "Oh..." Jack said after a moment, still staring down at the machine, "You... were doing a bit... It was a bit." He said quietly, as if to himself, "That... makes more sense, I guess." He resigned. He shuffled over to the side of the machine and looked back up at Arin for the first time in a while. He looked... confused. Hurt. Confused and hurt. But why? He was the one that broke it off.    "Did you... You didn't think it was weird, me just holding you?" Arin stepped toward the machine again, not breaking eye contact with Jack.    "Well... I guess I kinda did," Jack lied, darting his eyes down to look at the machine. The air was getting thick, "Play," He gestured his head slightly down toward the machine, commanding. He just wanted to get the moment over with.    Arin was silent for a moment, obviously wanting to press the matter further but hating the air between them just as much as Jack did. "...Alright," He finally resigned, looking down at the machine. He slowly reached down and flicked his wrist again, flicking the machine to life. He didn't have time to think anymore. His focus had to be on the ball. It gave Jack time to think.    Of course he hadn't thought Arin holding him was weird. That was the last thing on his mind when Arin's arms had been around him. It felt so warm, so comforting. He hadn't realised just how much he enjoyed Arin holding him until he had abruptly let go. He felt special, wanted. All of his thoughts and problems had seemed to vanish from his mind when he was in that hold. He felt cared for. He thought Arin really cared. And to find out it was just a bit? Jack screwed his eyes shut and sighed for a moment, composing himself. He was not about to fucking cry. He opened his eyes and sniffled slightly, hoping he could get away with it without Arin taking too much notice. To think that Arin didn't even want to hold him to begin with, that it was all just something he was putting on for the show? That hurt. It hurt a lot. It probably hurt more than it should have, considering they were just friends. Even still, that couldn't stop Jack from feeling unwanted in a way. He knew that wasn't Arin's intention, he knew that, but that couldn't stop the ache in his chest that came from it. God, he was sure he would start crying if he kept on thinking about this shit. Thankfully, just in time, Arin's turn ended.    "Damn," Arin said in a quiet, monotone voice. As if he hadn't cared about the game at all, "Your turn," He mumbled as he stepped away from the machine, allowing him and Jack to change places. Jack took a breath in as he got in front of the game. Hopefully, this would get his mind off of everything.    Quickly he flicked his wrist, sending his ball into play. He immediately moved his hands to the buttons on either side of the machine and prepared himself. His ball went immediately shooting up against the point multipliers, a singular ping coming from them as the ball hit them at an awkward angle. Jack pressed on the buttons on the machine, attempting to catch the ball and send it shooting back up. His attempt was futile, however, as Jack opened the bumper switches at just the right time to send the ball straight down unto the hole at the bottom. He looked up. 6 seconds. His turn lasted 6 fucking seconds and he got under a hundred points. His mouth fell open, astonished.    The room was silent for a moment, then the slowly rising sound of Arin's laughter began to pierce the silence. It grew and grew and, eventually, its sound snapped Jack out of his shocked trance. He blinked and his eyes went wide.    "WHAT?!!" He yelled as loudly as he could, his voice beginning to shake as he began to laugh at himself. Immediately Arin launched into a deep belly laugh, hunching over as he grabbed at his stomach. Jack couldn't stop staring at the numbers, "THAT," He began, causing Arin to somehow laugh harder, "IS HORSE SHIT!!!" He screamed and banged his fists against the machine, controlling them just enough to make sure he wouldn't break anything.    "Th-that," Arin began, wheezing, "Is the fUCking *wheeze* w-wORST score I have ever *cough* ever SEEN!" His face turned bright red as tears streamed down his cheeks while he curled up over the machine. As he laughed harder he began to cough, and the more he coughed the more he laughed.    "This is fucking rigged!" Jack threw his hands up into the air, unable to stop the wide grin that appeared on his face, "You can't tell me it's not! It's fucking rigged!" He shook his head at himself as Arin's laughing began to calm down, causing him to begin to pant, "This is bullshit!" He yelled just a bit quieter this time, both of them coming down from their manic highs. He looked over as Arin wiped the tears from his face and took deep breathes and he couldn't stop his heart from fluttering. He couldn't help it. He made Arin laugh and suddenly everything was back to the way it should be, "Arin, you have to be my hands again. I can't fucking do this shit," He laughed as he looked at him. Arin panted as he looked up at him. He wasn't laughing anymore. The smile faded quickly from Jacks face and he stared down at his hands, "Sorry, you probably don't... want to. Cause of the bit. I... uh," Jack tried to begin to reason again.    "No! No, no no!" Arin interrupted frantically, taking holding of Jack's hand and stepping up close beside him, "Of course I want to hold you," He tried to reassure. Jack looked up at him just as his expressed changed from frantic to panicked, "I... I mean...! I don't mean it like that! I... Um..." His voice was shaky and his eyes began to dart around. He stopped and stared back up into Jacks anxious eyes, waiting for an answer. He took a deep breath and calmed himself, "Here, let's... let's go halfway," Arin gently took hold of Jack's shoulders and stepped him over to the side a bit. After having moved him over, Arin swaddled up beside him and placed his hand over the closest button to him, "I'll control one half of the machine and you control the other."    Jack looked down at the machine then back up at Arin's worried, expectant face. He and Arin were shoulder to shoulder, a tight fit for the both of them to play at once together. He smiled calmly.    "Yeah, that... that sounds great," He reassured softly. He could see how worried Arin was about him now. How much he wanted to make it right. Arin visibly relaxed at Jack's approval.    "Alright," Arin replied calmly. He then turned his attention to the machine and flicked it to life, once again sending their ball into play.    The both of them immediately began mashing away at their respective buttons, sending their ball flying up into the point multipliers. The familiar sound of the machine's pings filled the room. All tension dissolved away as they focused on the game. Their score rapidly grew higher and higher as the both of them worked to make sure they wouldn't lose. Jack's full attention was on the game, his mind left with no room to focus on anything else except his strong desire to play well. However, with Arin's experience, he didn't need to exert as much focus as Jack needed to. As such, while still giving the machine it's needed attention, a part of his mind began to think.    He felt guilty. Guilty for having acted the way he did towards Jack. Guilty for having shown his hidden affection when, he felt, it was not appropriate to do so. But most of all, he felt guilty for having hurt Jack. He could tell he had, just by the way Jack had reacted to him letting go. If he had been able to realise sooner that Jack too enjoyed the hold they had shared, he wouldn't have let go. He might have even held tighter. But the fear of Jack discovering him, discovering the feelings he had kept hidden for so long. It terrified him, petrified him, and clouded his judgement just enough to miss Jack's reciprocating feelings. If Jack had enjoyed it just as much as he had, perhaps they could go back to it? He glanced at Jack out of the corner of his eye. He was so focused, so attentive to the machine. Arin could see how badly Jack wanted to play well. If he stopped to ask Jack about being held, they'd surely lose another round and upset Jack. He had to be smart about this. As if a lightbulb went off, he got just the idea he needed.    Jack rapidly clicked away at his button and shot their ball once again back up into the point multipliers. He steadied his breathing, not realising how long he had been holding his breath in for. He watched tentatively as their ball shot around the machine, focusing on nothing else. His attention was caught, however, when he felt Arin take a step back with one of his feet, moving so that their shoulders were no longer touching. He couldn't explain why that stung him. Perhaps Arin was uncomfortable touching him? He let out a quick sigh, trying to focus on their game. Just then, he felt fingers brush against his side opposite of Arin. He glanced down quickly and noticed Arin's hand resting on the machine just barely touching Jack.    "Sorry," Jack quickly mumbled before shuffling a bit closer to the centre of the machine. He didn't want to get in the way of whatever Arin was trying to do.    Again, he felt Arin's fingers brush against his side, just a touch shakier this time. Again, Jack mumbled an apology and slid an inch or so over. These actions were repeated a number of times. A finger brush, an apology, and a step over. A finger brush, an apology, and a step over. Brush, apology, step. Brush, apology, step. Jack worked hard to maintain his focus on the game, silently complying to do whatever it was Arin needed him to do. He felt the fingers again and didn't even think as he attempted to slide over... but he hit something. He glanced down and saw the outside of his foot was smooshed flat against the inside of Arin's. Before he could attempt to move over Arin placed his hand flat on his side and stayed there.    Jack sucked in a breath. He found it hard to focus now with Arin's warm, slightly shaky hand resting comfortably on him. He snapped back and mashed against his button just in time to save their ball. He tried to grasp at a moment to let him think as their ball stayed pinging against the multipliers. He blinked in surprise as he felt is back getting warmer and warmer. His skin tingled as Arin's chest hovered just millimetres away from him. He tried desperately to remain focused on the game, not taking a moment to wonder why Arin was doing this. Just when he thought he'd be able to feel Arin press against him again, the movements stopped. In that moment he could feel Arin's emotions, practically hear his thoughts. The fear, the anxiety, the need. He knew Arin well enough to know what he needed. Jack leaned back against him, closing their distance. Once again they became flush against one another, their bodies sharing warmth. They stayed that way for a moment, both of them tapping lightly at their buttons, not spending to much time focusing on the game. Jack could feel Arin's trembling begin to subside. He didn't fear anymore. He didn't need to. Jack leaned his head back slightly, hoping to rest their heads together. But something even better happened. He felt Arin's breath get closer and closer to his neck until, finally, Arin's lips pressed gently against it.    Just then, their ball went shooting down into the hole at the bottom of the machine with neither of them paying enough attention to it. But honestly, who gave a flying fuck about the game at that moment? Arin's button mashing hand came up and rested gently against Jack's bicep. He took his lips off of Jack only for a moment to open his mouth slightly and go back down for another kiss. Jack sighed contentedly as he leaned his head to the side to expose his neck more, his mind and heart going crazy over the warmth of Arin's body and the coolness of his lips.    "Arin," Jack whispered out, feeling his knees weakening.    Arin took his lips off of Jack and waited for another response. Jack turned his body slightly to look over his shoulder at Arin, their faces inches away. They stared hazy-eyed at each other for a moment, the both of them catching their breath. Arin's eyes sunk down and stared longingly at Jack's slightly parted lips. He began to lean in and, as he did so, Jack could feel himself giving out. Their eyes sunk closed as their lips touched, the both of them feeling the other physically relax at the touch. Jack quickly slid himself around so they were chest to chest and leaned slightly back against the pinball machine, having to bring his hands down and hold onto it to keep his legs from completely buckling underneath him. Arin brought his hands down to Jack's side and gently brushed his fingernails against Jack's skin, causing immediate goosebumps and tingles to form. Jack made a weak grunt as Arin slowly dragged his fingernails up his back and under his shirt, exposing his pale skin to the dimly lit room. They stayed pressed together for a moment, breathing each other in and relishing in the touch that they both had wished for for so long. Their hearts pounded against each other, both so anxious and yet feeling the calmest they had ever felt in a long time.    It ended with Arin slowly backing his head away, obviously not wanting it to end but knowing it couldn't last forever. Their eyes fluttered open together, the both of them beginning to catch their breath from the moment. Jack breathed out a shaky laugh, unable to stop himself from smiling. Arin began to giggle slightly and pressed their foreheads together as they giggled softly.    "Y'know," Jack spoke softly in hushed tones, "If you wanted to hold me again, all you had to do was ask," He giggled. Arin looked up at him.    "You wanted to win so badly. I thought it best not to interrupt you," Arin glanced passed Jack at the now silent pinball machine, "But I guess... I made you lose anyway," He admitted sheepishly. Jack smiled wider as he shook his head.    "I did win," He whispered softly. He brought his hand up and rested it gently against Arin's cheek as their eyes met once again. They stared silently at each other for a moment, smiling.    Then both of them giggled softly and brought their lips back together, their eyes fluttering closed as Jack slipped his hand comfortably behind Arin's neck and brought his other arm up to wrap around Arin's body, securely entangling them together in the moment.

#jackraptor #jack/arin #writings #some writings or whatever

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

aight aight, real shit; let's say you got the chance to rewrite the entirety of gossip girl exactly how you want. make a brief description of what would happen in each season. (you can decide whether there's a fourth season or not)

oh i LOVE this ask, and i am so flattered to be asked this, haha. i have SO many thoughts, i’ve been thinking about this non-stop, but i’ll try to be as brief as possible. also, disclaimer, i don’t remember all the seasons equally clearly. like i barely remember s2. haha, whoops.

season 1: i love this season as is, for the most part. i think the tone of it was actually very serious and involved? like the show was actively trying not to be frivolous with heavy topics, and the way we were getting to see the characters seemed like they were trying to bring out character depth and the complexities of their lives in very deliberate ways. nate’s whole thing with his parents gets so much focus, and it’s not something the show glorifies, it’s something that is meant to make you uncomfortable and worried for him. 

i would have nate be less of a dudebro, jenny & nate’s friendship being a little more solid, dan being a little more involved in jenny’s problems + helping her find her space, vanessa/nate to happen earlier - after nate breaks up w/ blair and realises she looks happier, i would have him not try and get back with her (lol, dude, the fact that she’s happy after breaking up with you means you probably shouldn’t be dating her.) more exploration of eric’s mental health. more dan and blair friendship. i would keep chair the way it is this season. i would not have a derena breakup - i’d have them take a break after the georgina reveal and get back together during the summer after talking about it and deciding to be more honest & open with each other. and, what the hell, i would have lily not blame serena (???) for being taken advantage of in the whole pete fairman situation. serena wasn’t sober, she was 16, that dude was in his 30s, georgina was taping her w/o her consent. how is any of this serena’s fault??? i hate lily’s reaction so much.

season 2: i... don’t remember enough of this season, sadly. it’s been too long since i watched it. i would majorly change jenny’s arc here, though. eleanor stealing her dress was majorly, majorly fucked up, and i think jenny should’ve done something then and there. also the whole thing with ‘lily is a mother to chuck’.... i would’ve loved it if lily had been like that to jenny. the girl needed it, and lily would’ve actually been able to help jenny establish connections in the professional world and whatnot. i think jenny should’ve transferred out of constance - not necessarily homeschooling maybe, but gone somewhere else. unlike dan, she didn’t even want to get into an ivy, she wanted to make it big as a designer. so. that. 

oh nate my love. i’d get this trainwreck of a boy some therapy. while i hate that the catherine thing happened, things like that do happen all the time, and i’d be interested in sort of handling the aftermath of it in a responsible way. i would not have... a lot of serena’s arc and decisions (from what i can remember) were really random in this season. i’d have her break up with dan at some point. and vanessa would need a new subject for her short film, and she’d choose serena.

nate doesn’t really date anyone, this season. but he and jenny open up to each other abt having gay crushes on people who treat you like shit - jenny’s thing with agnes - nate rescues her when they’re taking those pictures in her flat and let’s say she doesn’t go back to agnes. instead of kissing her, nate talks to her instead, and tells her about carter, tells her about chuck. and jenny talks about her feelings for blair, her feelings for agnes. and both of them sort of go... “it sucks, but all we can do is try not to become the kind of people we hate, right?”

dan pines for nate. majorly. massively. obviously. i think the only person who really notices is blair, and this would lead to new hijinks and shenanigans. also!! i do not want chair in s2. maybe it can go there for a bit but definitely not to the extent in canon. i want blair to have the same moment of being unable to deny her cruelty / needing to be accountable that she did in that ‘age of dissonance’ play. and. this sounds fucky but i want the dan/rachel stuff to stay as it is, and later, in s4, for dan & serena to talk about rachel & ben respectively and be like ‘hey, this was a fucked up thing to happen to us, wasn’t it?’ 

i would also like to get to know blair’s “minions” better as people. i mean. they all seemed hella fascinating to me, and the show’s decision to make them superficial and unidimensional was very depressing.

season 3: hot garbage, throw canon away. when chuck goes away to paris or wherever, let him not come back. goodbye, dude! dan, blair & vanessa friendship at nyu is so, so important to me. also im losing my mind always at how vanessa and serena catch dan on that walk of shame and they’re both like ‘college is a time for experimentation!’ and nobody does anything even slightly bisexual (unless you count that threesome later, which, blah.) a serenessa / date dynamic in college would’ve been great. dan transferring to columbia like blair does and rooming with nate and just, the gayness of it all. dan & blair become really, really close, and d&b&v watch movies + go to art exhibits together and are all SO DAMN PRETENTIOUS. serena finds it sexy, nate finds it terrifying. 

the william stuff would be interesting if he were actually held accountable. like that man has no right being a doctor, and medical malpractice needs to be brought up. and jenny’s whole arc this season makes me so sad. i think it would’ve been interesting if she’d been a ‘queen’ and ruled alongside eric, and just, the two of them forcing people to be nice, sort of like they try to do with people who are mean to nelly in s2 i think it is? but also.. jenny out of constance is very good, and i think i mentioned that earlier, haha, whoops.

season 4 : serenessa breakup, for whatever reason, probably to do with the william fuckery, because i think vanessa would react in similar ways to nate (”serena, i know he’s your dad, but we have to do the right thing” / “it still wasn’t your call to make” / “he’s a certified doctor, serena, a man like that has no right -” / “god vanessa, you really don’t get it, do you?” ). uhhh i would actually... if i had to choose i would honestly go blairnessa >>>>> dair. i love how blair & vanessa can keep each other on their toes and hold each other accountable. like? blair’s classist or racist and dan’s just like, *smiles*. vanessa would actively be like ‘hey, stop that.’ (this is one of the few actual criticisms i have about d/b as a relationship, RIP.) 

(edited to add: yeah, i think blairnessa WOULD be a sustainable relationship, more abt that here! )

yes to the milo arc, but dan gets to keep milo (his friends threaten georgina and go all ‘you made him sign the certificate. don’t make us take you to court’ because i love these morally grey assholes but also because g DID trick dan into thinking milo was his and dan was ready to reshape his whole life around that kid which is more than georgina was willing to do. plus endgame: jack/georgina are not parents i want milo to have.) i would also have more of a rufus & dan fallout over the milo thing. i think rufus would be really nasty about it all tbh.

the dair arc for blair and vanessa! let the juliet stuff happen, but let it be less awful + let it be seen as Bad + let serena get help & not forgive her for it. let serena NOT date ben after, what the hell. i want d&s to talk about their shared feelings for high school teachers and to realise, in retrospect, as adults, that what happened was crossing lines. let blair and vanessa suddenly drop dan and do the movies + galleries stuff on their own. and dan’s like ??? but he’s busy being a parent with nate supporting him. dan’s drama is very much parenting things. there would be some nonsense involving nate’s family pushing back, because ‘we stood by while you dated him, nate, we thought it was a phase. but raising a child with another man? this is unacceptable.’ i would like nate to get disowned by the family, and need to find his own feet. and to get a REAL SHOT AT HAPPINESS away from that terrible environment.

season 5: i want this to be a good serena season. let her find her calling doing creative things. let her and carter travel the world. let her just be whoever she wants to be. let her and vanessa patch their friendship up. let her have an open relationship with carter, let her have a lot of sex with a lot of random people and not feel guilty about it. let her really really blossom. i want more eric! maybe he’s in london with jenny, and she’s working on her fashion stuff, and he’s realising that he really wants to be a counsellor. 

some time-skips, maybe. i really want to see dan’s whole thing of being a parent. sending milo to kindergarten and spending the whole time milo’s gone on edge and anxious about everything that could go wrong, while nate comforts him. let nate try to get a job because he no longer has a trust fund, and navigate everything that comes with that. let vanessa be there for him. why the fuck am i phrasing my sentences like this - can you tell that i studied physics once?? oh well.

blair & vanessa handling a lot of things. vanessa meeting harold!! vanessa’s parents being disapproving of blair, but ruby standing up for her. blair & vanessa planning their future properly. blair & vanessa babysitting milo and talking about kids. 

and there can be drama too, there should always be drama. but i would like wholesome stuff at the centre of it too, you know? the ivy/lola nonsense can go on in the background, i don’t actually care that much. as long as ivy doesn’t go around fucking people’s fathers for no understandable or discernable reason, i don’t really care lkdhlfdkhg. (it was just so inexplicable and so random!)

season 6: uh, i don’t know. this was a bad season for everyone in canon, except chuck. i would throw it all away. i would actually love if we had pre-series rufly instead: every time those two bring up their past together i’m like 👀 because it sounds like a dream. or focus entirely on jenny and eric and their life. i am obsessed with jenny and eric being... sort of queerplatonic, sort of like, best friends. there’s no romance and no sex between them (eric’s canonically gay, and jenny’s a lesbian because i said so) but i think the way jenny and eric are is very, very life partners in a way that isn’t romantic OR sexual. so they’d have a little place together and would support each other. and just. what are they up to now? also. kati, iz, penelope, hazel, nelly... what r they doing now? one of the few things i actually liked about s6 as it was was that nelly was that reporter and that she’d found her people in yale. nelly yuki getting a happy and fulfilling ending and being a successful woman was so good and we actually got a little bit of that. i’d like more of that, for the rest of the girls, you know?

#anon #long post #this is almost 1.9k words long but it was fun to write LDKHLGKHFGKH #gossip girl #i know there's no dair i am so sorry about that #but honestly the way this was panning out i had to like #choose between dair & blairnessa #RIP #meta #?? #prompt #my writing #??? #gg rewrite

[sunshinee-sunflowerr]

When I saw this I was immediately triggered and that’s how I knew I had to share it. Other than the fact that it is important as fuck to share something like this. But the second part of that post almost aligns with what had happened to me with my ex Dan. I have issues with sexual dysfunction and tend to lose feeling down there and that leaves me feeling betrayed by my own body. I feel so worthless and pathetic already as it is when it happens because I’m sensitive and it is humiliating when I start to cry. I don’t even get to like fully enjoy something so intimate because I’m a very passionate person and I love all types of deep connection. And he ruined it. It had stopped being such a beautiful thing for me. The second I asked him to stop and that I had mentioned I wasn’t enjoying it, he became the person I didn’t think he could truly ever be. He laid down on me. Like I’m talking all of his weight was on me, and he whined about how good it felt to stay in me and finish. I felt nothing and everything all at the same time, I wasn’t being heard, I was just a body, and I didn’t matter anymore. This was someone who was stronger than me. This was someone who I loved and straight up disrespected me to the point where I myself are in a traumatic position, I had to literally match his thrusts just so he’d come faster because I knew that was the only safe way to get him off of me. And that was humiliating and violating. I had no other choice. And to this day this man still tries to say he didn’t rape me but SIR WHEN YOU DO SHIT LIKE THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING RAPIST. YOU IGNORED MY PLEAS AND MADE ME FEEL SO UNSAFE AND I FELT LIKE MY BODY WASN’T EVEN FUCKING MINE ANYMORE. YOU GAVE ME PTSD FOR ALL THE OTHER FUCKED UP TIMES THAT I HAD LET SLIDE BECAUSE I FELT COERCED INTO IT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. And what had haunted me every time I wanted to go somewhere, I had to take my car. It happened in my car. I had to drive myself after that with cum dripping down my legs. I had to see a flashback every time my mind drifted towards the back. I will never EVER let myself be in that position again. Dan broke me. I’m the one who pulled myself out and I’m still healing.

It was from 2016 and trauma tells no time, I’m lucky I don’t feel the weight of your body still pinning me down during intimate times. I saw you in the faces of whoever was on top of me. I would get panic attacks and cry. You fucking ruined me and my trust and I will ruin you if you ever dare try to come into my life again.

The Relationship Aspect:

Not many people know about the sleep fucking, or when you would take my thumb out of my mouth when I was asleep because I still had some hard time sleeping so I would suck my thumb sometimes and you would replace your it with your dick and then ejaculate down my throat and I'd wake up to such a horrible taste. My inner child does scream for she was only 15-17 and I let it slide because you had so much power over me and I did so much to make you happy even though it didn't make me happy myself. Let's not forget when I wasn't in the mood sometimes so you would turn around away from me with no sound nothing and straight up fell asleep because I said no or that I don't want to have sex with you. And then there were times where you would sexualize me, you would look up my skirt or you would look at my pants and tell me about my panty lines and basically scare me and make feel little. You were constantly pointing them out and laughing, conditioning me even to never wear comfy underwear, I have more thongs than any type of other underwear. And now I'm finally getting used to wearing normal underwear again just because I was felt like someone was doing the same shit that you did to me. I felt grimy. And let's not forget when you would steal my panties and you would bring them home and jerk off in them and cum in them and to top it all off you would bring them back to my house and throw them in my dirty laundry so they can be washed so you can repeat that cycle. And the worst part is that you probably took some before we broke up and I never got them back. Fuck you. How about all those times you never asked if you could cum in me but you still did even though I fucking hated it, and you’d get mad at me when your sheets were ruined because of you the mess you made in me and I still fucking hate it it's only such a rare occasion for me to ever let that happen during any intimate moment now. Also let's not forget your greediness for my photos. My naked photos that you kept to get off to even after we broke up and still demanded more and other shit when I was with someone else it was disgusting.

The Party:

Oh here’s a memory that’s gonna be fucking me soon, once late October arrives I’m going to be thinking about that night I decided to try and most past you. That fucking college party was the biggest gray area that was so painful and smoggy. It was grey because I was still figuring my shit out and mentally screwed up from the actions of you. I'll never forget, how are used to feel guilty and how are used to blame myself for all of this. And I got to a point where we had mutual friends and I just wanted to forget all about it and learn to forgive you. As soon as ready, Matt and I went to that party that Anthony was throwing and you were there, and you had no problem laughing off your drunk ass I front of me about rape jokes. If I hadn't been high and Matt being so drunk we would've left and I remember calling my mom in the hallway crying telling her about that little part of what happened that night. And then later that night you got so fucking drunk, made everybody your babysitter and I still fucking hate myself for the side you brought out even though you caused me so much harm. You brought out my fucking maternal side which I hated because like I said in that moment of time it wasn’t black or white for me, it was grey. It was so fucking gray. And I took care of you that night because you were so fucking drunk, I remember you asking me or saying something about how I hated you. And then later that night I ended up sandwiched between you and Matt, and you decided to touch me through my pants even when I was cuddled up to Matt and I thought maybe there would’ve been some change but in the end you were still assaulting me. I didn’t sleep at all that night, and it sent me backwards, I felt like all of the progress that I had made was gone it was dehumanizing and I threw out those sweatpants and they were brand fucking new and they were Calvin Klein my favorite designer which hurt even more because I used my money to get something I really wanted for comfort and you just stumble in cocked off of what 3 beers? And ruin even the smallest things that could’ve made me more comfortable? Heinous and out right disgustingly disrespectful.

Trauma talk aftermath:

I betrayed myself sleeping with you even after the rape, and you knew so much about me so I couldn't even fucking report it even though I had the proof of you admitting to what you did. But Im always scared because my reputation was at stake and it was so easily corrupted by your lies as it is. I had no choice. You could've easily ruined my life and I wasn't about to let you so I ruined mine but little did I know that you were already ruining mine. And you still haven't taken accountability for your actions and I'm still suffering the consequences of those horrible behaviors that you were still using to this day probably. And I can't even imagine how many other girls like me there must be now.

Here's to all the nightmares that circulate in my head at night still in that feeling of fear of having and experiencing that PTSD kick into hyper drive. And all the ones I've yet to have when I have new partners in my life, because I have nightmares of them doing the same thing that you did to me and it's traumatizing. Because even though I know they are not you for that split second I am terrified of them. And I saw another post about how when sexual assault survivors even get a whiff of the scent of their abuser they are in panic; and I honestly don't blame them. I was at school the other day, and in the air I smell whatever type of detergent was used to fill the air with your scent, I was in panic for a couple minutes looking around trying to figure it out where you were. It's so fucked up that you've had such lasting effects on me like why isn’t hating you and going through all of that trauma shit enough. And I'm so tired of the panic and anxiety attacks that you still bring into my life whether it is indirect or direct.

And looking back now after going off of that and emotional spiel about what you did and how I still feel towards these events today. I realize all the ways how I am not gonna be treated in the future. You saw the light inside of me, and when you stepped into my life that light dimmed within each day that passed that I saw who you were. And it took all of my power away; but I am taking all of that power back and you will never ever use it again and you will never have it in your possession because I know I will forever be a better person and not let you win. And I know that I wasn't a good girlfriend at the time as well but you were also I'm manipulative narcissistic asshole. And I blamed myself for all of the times that I was mad at you and thought I deserved it all. And I deserve none of that shit. It was you that didn’t deserve me and all the love I gave you. All of clothes I bought you, all of the stupid ass Pokémon cards i grabbed for you because I knew it was important to you to collect them, all of the silly $7 cards to go with each thing I gave you. All of the handwritten notes. Helping you match your clothes and fold your shit. Fuck you and for all you have taken from me and didn’t even fucking say sorry or be truly appreciative.

More Trauma Talk 2020-2021 edition:

Consent is so important to me, because it was stolen from me as a child, as a teenager, and as an adult. I want to take a moment to also talk about my second ex-boyfriend named Dan as well how ironic I never thought I'd say I love you Dan ever again. But the first night we hooked up, he was so patient with me which in all honestly is sad but it truly took my breath away with the time that he spent on me making sure I knew that I was safe because he knew that I have been raped. And every once in a while he asked me if I was OK and I thought that was the most amazing thing ever little did I know that that's actually what you're supposed to do and that it's not the bare minimum. And after all of that he still had one of those moments where he traumatized me and put me back into the place where you had put me days before Christmas… which is now a tainted holiday as well as Halloween for me. Thanks a lot.

Wow… fuck this is a lot for anyone let alone me to endure and/or read and I just want to say that felt so fucking good to finally write it all down and speak my truth and let others know that not every sexual assault or rape has to be violent (well it’s violence either way, but you know getting the shit beaten out of you stereotypical type) it can be sweet until it turns sour, it can be public, it can be sneaky, it can be with someone you gained the ability to trust who was so good in the beginning. It can be anyone and that’s the real scary part because I don’t know whose intentions are actually true until they read my stuff and reassure me about how they feel about me. It’s the only way and even then I’m still scared of wanting to be intimate with someone new. It’s another strong reason as to why I am practicing celibacy for a bit.

Finished on 9/20/2021

[angelicteeth]

hi our boys are disgusting

god fuck yeah they are 

Aristotle: He/Him - Leo - 18 - 6′4

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? blueee!!!!!!!2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? he loves art books! his mom used to show them to him and he’s collected them ever since. would also like to collect daggers/knives/swords bc he thinks they’re neat 3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? nothing 4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? ohhhh this guys 100% a metal head. leather jackets, spikes, ripped jeans, chains- necklaces and wallet, vans or boots, lots n lots of patches/pins- the whole ordeal! typically only wears reds, blacks, whites, and dark shades. muted colors. 5. What is your OC’s first memory? he was around 4 or 5 and his mother asked him to bake a cake with her, and he agreed, of course. they made a giant 5 layer red velvet cake with chocolate, caramel, and peanut butter chips in between and chocolate fudge drizzled on top/off the sides. they made a HUGE mess in the kitchen and all over themselves and he cherishes this memory so sooo much. 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? black panthers!!!!! he also loves dogs a lot… he? HATES?? butterflies ???7. What element would your OC be? oh boy fire 8. What is your OC’s theme song? uhhh anything Heavy Metal9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? noooooo, i dont rlly like doing this edrfghu but! he has a deep voice, its warm and deep and kinda ? sultry? idk 10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? wrath. 11. What are your OC’s hobbies? painting!!! learning about history/going to museums, annnnnnd does his bf count? LOL12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? uhhh relatively patient? definitely depends. he’s VERY hot-headed but doesn’t ‘explode’ often 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, gay, and latino! he’s also human wsedrftg14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? fucking LOVES cheese??? and big warm pretzels… CINNAMON ROLLS! hates olives ??? and most fish 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? he’d really want a big cat, doesn’t matter what… just a Big Boy16. What does your OC smell like? warm, cinnamon maybe but also musky and woodsy… but he sometimes just likes smelling Clean and like semi typical guy cologne ??? or just Expensive smelling cologne,,, idk he always smells really fucking good sedfgh17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? uhhh right Now he’s just graduated high school and issss looking for work… doesn’t really know what he wants to be, honestly. he’s still trying to figure everything out 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? he fears losing completely everything he loves, specifically his boyfriend and his brother. a weakness is how hard he is on himself, and how much he isolates/pushes people away when he’s low. a strength is just how warm and caring he is. how much he loves. even if he doesn’t always see himself as strong, he is. he really, really is19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? h e a v y  m e t a l  h e ‘ s  a  f u c k i n g  m e t a l h e a d i havent looked too into it so i don’t know about songs, i WILL look into it at some point20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he live on this hell planet, sadly 21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? the death of his mom… and his anger… he blames himself for her death and hes struggling hard with it, since his father doesn’t help at all and blames him, too. a pet peeve he has is people leaving doors or cabinets open, it makes him so mad dftgyhu just fucking close them 22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? heee was a good one ? hardest subject for him was english :/ mainly got A’s! except for english 23. What is a random fact about your OC? he cannot bake or cook anything EXCEPT breakfast foods 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? he… didnt see a future until he met his boyfriend, nathan… after his mom died, so did everything else 25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? amber wanted to play the sims and she told me to create 2 characters but i said hey! i do one, you do one! and then we were fucking idiots and turned them into ocs dfyudfhjkl; its soooo recent that nothings changed LOL im still developing him, as i am with all of my ocs 26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? nathan… he gave him a second chance at life, he gave him a reason to want to stay alive, a future. also jordan is super super important to him they bffs xoxo (edit: dan n ty also mean the world to him) at his current age… his dad. their relationship does eventually get better but right now, hes the least important but has such a big impact on him it hurts27. What kind of childhood did your character have? A GOOD GOOD GOOOOOOD ASS CHILDHOOD up until 16 it was soooo good… his moms his best friend, he n his brother hung out all the time, and his dad wasn’t so angry or drunk28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? he picks at his nails when hes nervous, but it doesnt happen very often so its nothing he tends to worry about. heee doesn’t stim but fucking loves paint mixing videos those are his shit uhhh no, no addictions… unless you literally count his bf wertyui29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? “If You Sit On My Grave I WILL Haunt You” or “Long Live The King” because he’s a stupid fucking leo30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? yesssssssss he wants to marry nathan So Bad sedrftyui he’s unsure about kids, though… kinda just wants a couple pets 31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his mom died on his 16th birthday driving to come pick him up. anything involving nathan… doesn’t even matter what it is, he just loves him so much32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? his mom back33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? uhhh probablyyyyy not… he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he actually killed someone,,,34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? uh he likes concerts n shit but its not like,,, a social group thing… he doesnt do that shit…35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? very vivid imagination, is often found daydreaming when hes not painting or with his bf. not really worried, honestly, kinda just lives in the moment and doesnt give a single god damn shit about a thing except on the bad days36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? he wants nathan the most, out of everything- and he has him… but if he didn’t he would do anything for him. anything37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? pees with the door open esdrtyuio38. What would your character do with a million dollars? ooohhhh spoil the shit out of nathan, get a tattoo or 2, and buy art stuff!39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? eggs, leftovers, milk, orange juice, bacon, butter, and syrup. a couple of canvases, paint brushes, the shirt he slept in the night before. a couple of single issue comics, the graphic novel hes reading, a bottle of water, and a tiny art canvas. random plastic, paper, maybe an empty water bottle or 240. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? out with nathan, probably on a date. ripped jeans, dark red sweater, black shirt, boots, wallet chain, necklace chain, and a single dangly earring in his left ear 41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? yell, scream, get super physical. he’s burning, he’s burning, he’s burning. make it stop, better yet, let him thrive 42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? nope! he’s clean for now43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? oooooh uh he says some Shit when he’s pissed, especially to his dad44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? fine? doesn’t really care about it unless its from nathan. oooor if youre just being a shithead hell tell you off45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? he enjoys it, wouldn’t mind it at all tbh46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? fuck, yeah. he’d do something stupid to it to see if it works and then display it in his room or give it to his bf47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? hellllll yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. everything, anything48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? his mom was his best friend and the reason why he is the way he is. his dad was a good man, but now hes a stupid angry drunk who blames ari for his mothers death. its affected him positively and negatively, hes loving and passionate like his mother but insecure and doubtful because of his father49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? d o  n o t  l e t  h i m  h a v e  a  l o t  o f  c a n d y  p l e a s e 50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? would probably elope with nathan, do some crazy shit, and hope to god he doesn’t actually fucking die 

Jordan: He/Him - Sagittarius - 19 - 6′2

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? light green2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? stamps, stickers, beanies, anything aquatic-themed, and tarot cards/witchy stuff!3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? bananas…4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? lazy type clothes, very sluggish. lots of oversized cardigans, hoodies, and sweaters. baggy shirts, but he religiously wears jeans. likes chains but preferably small ones, and usually only wallet chains. likes wearing a ring on each thumb and if hes Feelin it a couple more! punkish basically 5. What is your OC’s first memory? spying on his brother and dad training outside in the barn6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? he has a giant soft spot for cows but his favorite is whale sharks!!! he doesn’t really like frogs 7. What element would your OC be? water! but with Slight fire8. What is your OC’s theme song? something slow and sad, probably 9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? no! his voice is soft and low, like a lullaby. very warm and comforting, but also a lil husky10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? envy/lust/greed wsedfg11. What are your OC’s hobbies? reading, using tarot cards, organizing his stamps/stickers, watching documentaries, and making sure aristotle doesn’t do anything Stupid12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? he’s pretty patient but he’s also pretty hot headed. he Will lash out when angry :/13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, bisexual, white (russian/american) also a human sedryui14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? loooovvveeessss chocolate chip waffles! and breakfast foods in general. hates peas and green beans 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? a cowwwww… they remind him of his mom dfghj16. What does your OC smell like? clean but ? kinda minty!17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? he currently works at a little bookshop/coffeeshop! he likes it but he wants to do something more when he’s graduated from college. 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? his father and crickets. how emotionally attached he gets to people. how warm and soft he is, he never stops caring for others 19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? goth, heavy metal, sad/emo shit20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he live here Binch21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? his whole family besides his father is dead and he’s all alone with nobody to turn to. he h a t e s crunching noises. so much. also fucking HATES when people poke holes in shit just STop. 22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? actually really really good, even though he looks like a fucking slacker esdrftgyhu probably got all A’s23. What is a random fact about your OC? he always has his fingernails and toenails painted black or dark red/purple24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? fuck man he doesn’t wanna live hes so fucking Tired his dark circles are permanent but ari makes life worth living sdfg25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? …once upon a time amber and i made a gang au with ari n nathan and promptly made jordan for the Shits and Giggles but it turns out i fell in love and way too deep making his character, thanks!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? aristotle, probably, because he assumes his mom is dead. least is his dad whos a fucking asshole murdering cuck27. What kind of childhood did your character have? uhhhh Not Good ill tell you that. his father only married and brought his mom to russia so she could give him kids, preferably boys. first was nikolai, second was kazimir jordan, and lastly was feliks. they were all 2 years apart, making nikolai and feliks 4, so they were all close in age and played together often. his father was most proud of nikolai but feliks had been showing signs of possibly exceeding all of their expectations. kazimir was last in everything, but he was his mothers favorite. he’ll never forgive his father for torturing him and killing everyone he loved. 28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? he often picks at his nail polish, or the skin around his nails. definitely fidgets with his hands often. doesn’t stim but follows a lot of soap carving and squishy videos, also likes bread/cooking ones. he’s kind of addicted to red bulls but he’s cutting back and resorting to coffee, which he drinks black29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? “hell’s waiting for me so watch your back”30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? maybe married but almost Definitely no kids. no thanks. xoxo31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his father dragged him into the barns once after he accidentally spilled something over an ‘important’ paper so his father branded him with a cross on his side. his mother used to braid his hair with baby’s breath in it when theyd play out in the field, just her and the 3 boys running around, having fun. it was peaceful, bliss32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? to tell his mother he was sorry and that he’ll never stop loving her33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? no, he’s seen what killing someone does to people34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? i dont really like this question edrtyu35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? hes so tired all the time hes often in the clouds, never really focusing. daydreams a lot to make it through each day, pretending hes someone hes not. hoping that his mother is actually still alive, and that he doesnt have to keep reliving memories. they wont stop fading, he keeps getting them jumbled. he just wants to make more with her, be with her one last time36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? his moooooooooom, he’d do anything for her37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he has to turn door knobs twice before actually opening a door 38. What would your character do with a million dollars? that’s so overwhelming to him but probably pay off college shit sdfghj debt is So Scary 39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? yogurt, water bottles, red bull, orange soda, and some strawberries. a pair of jeans and boxers and random books hes checked out from the library. a half empty can of red bull, the book hes currentl reading, a beanie, and a cute little jar of jelly beans ari got him. garbage can has crumbled up balls of paper, empty red bull cans, empty bottle of soda, and an old textbook.40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? probably aristotle and nathan to a concert/out to eat. wears black jeans, a baggy red and black striped sweater with a black shirt underneath, boots or vans, and prolly a wallet chain + his thumb rings41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? he screams and yanks on his hair fgyuhlj;k42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? heee has a cross on his side, and a few Light scars on his face- over his bottom lip, on his forehead and on the left side of his cheek/jaw. a couple on his back and arms as well most of them are from his father…43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? he’s never said anything Out Loud but in his head he says shit all the time dxgfhgjhjlio hes a snarky son of a gun44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? he will go home and Cry about it later 45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? eh its Ok46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? hes pretty paranoid about it and probably shows it to ari like ‘bitch what the FUCK’47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? he doodles mindlessly when hes bored in class 48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? uhhhh his dad is a big Cuck but his mom is an Angel and the best person he’s ever met. this has fucked him over hard bc hes father took her away from him and now he has nothing left so hes an anxious, paranoid Mess49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he l o v e s candy pls50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? Kill Him Now

Tyler: He/Him - Pisces - 22 - 5′7

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? baby blue and pink!2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? nail polish, lamb stuffed animals, comics, seashells, and washi tapes 3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? nothin4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? he likes soft colors, pastel. sweaters are his favorite but he also likes long sleeved shirts. dresses pretty feminine, isn’t a fan of dark colors on himself unless its his boyfriends clothes5. What is your OC’s first memory? when he was around 4 or 5 he was riding his bike when he hit a rock and went flying forward, causing him to scrape his knees and his nose to bleed 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? l o v e s  l a m b s and snails, doesn’t really like salamanders 7. What element would your OC be? w a t e r 8. What is your OC’s theme song? something soft and not too upbeat 9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? he has a very smooth and kind of feminine voice ? but its masculine enough to not misgender him,,,10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? envy???11. What are your OC’s hobbies? painting his nails, drawing/sketching, reading comics and graphic novels, watching documentaries, and journaling!12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? very patient and rarely hot headed, gets more agitated or annoyed 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, gay, white human boy14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? would Die for milkshakes he loves them so fucking much, isnt a big fan of hamburgers/beef in general 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? a lamb or sheep he is so infatuated with them. they are so so soooo cute 16. What does your OC smell like? strawberries and cream!17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? heee currently works odd hours at a gas station, it’s definitely not his dream job but its not super awful… most of the time. he wants to go to art school, actually, to learn to make jewelry and to learn how to do more with his art18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? abandonment and ultimate loneliness. he’s really self conscious but he loves with all hes got and he loves so much, and so hard19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? bubblegum pop, kpop, jpop, and some indie music!20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he here 21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? he’s self conscious and in recovery for self harm/an eating disorder but he’s doing really well! its still hard but he’s pushing through… he hates having chipped nails drftugyihuo as soon as one chips, even a little, he repaints them as soon as he can22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? he was a nerd he got straight A’s and actually enjoyed school kinda erdtfyuio but only because he loves to learn, not the actual people or atmosphere 23. What is a random fact about your OC? is really interested in astrology and loves reading his horoscope 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? he’s honestly trying to still figure that out but the more time he spends with his boyfriend, the more he wants to live and have a happy future with him25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? amber made dan, dan needed a love interest, tada!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? daaaaaannnn, his boyfriend, nathan his best friend (+ari)  annnnnnd uh ? nobody really ??? 27. What kind of childhood did your character have? he had a pretty alright childhood, kind of lonely…28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? plays with his ears if he’s super nervous, really fucking loves slime to stim and help him calm down- or chews on something29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? something gay, probably 30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? yes and yes!!! he wants to get married and have a family with dan :331. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? dan got into a bad bar fight once, he was having a shitty day and the guy was being an absolute douchebag asshole and tyler wasn’t there to help him or stop him and it was just… bad… once dan took him to a petting zoo to meet and pet some sheep and he cried because it was quite possibly the nicest thing anyones ever done for him and then the dumbass also set up a picnic for afterwards and he fucking bawled again stupid gay saps32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? the funds for college esdrtf33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? nope he is a soft crybaby 34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? i dont LIKE this fucking q smfh35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? he daydreams a lot, yeah, and hes almost always worried because his anxiety is an absolute bitch but hes working on it36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? he just wants dan and to go to art school37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he has to say goodnight to all of his stuffed animals before bed every night sdfgfgghj38. What would your character do with a million dollars? a r t  s c h o o l39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? strawberries, mangos, chocolate almond milk, leftover food from a restaurant he went to with dan, and some chocolate syrup. nothing, he has to keep his room clean always. nightstand has a graphic novel and book hes currently reading, a note/poem from dan with a small lamb he got him, and a bottle of peach tea. 40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? somewhere really really fancy with dan! he’d wear a cute suit, a white one with a pastel yellow button up shirt and a black tie. wears the necklace dan got him and probably a few dainty rings that match well together/when layered 41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? he cries. a lot. he gets really overwhelmed when he’s angry, and tends to scream or yell42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? on his arms from self harm, his hips as well… 43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? he doesn’t like saying rude things44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? uhhh if he asks he’ll probably take what the person says into consideration but if he hasnt asked, he’ll get mad/sad 45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? he like it46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? he gives it to dan rdyftugyhio47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? s e n d  h i m  t o  a r t  s c h o o l  p l e a s e48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? err his parents were kind of absent a lot, they traveled so much for business that he was often alone, only himself for company. his mom was loving, for the most part, when she was home. she got drunk quite often, though, but that just made her more giggly and unfocused. his dad… was hard on him, kinda abusive. often ignored him, honestly, unless it came to school and ‘being a man.’ he can be very distant at times, and self isolates often… yet he’s afraid of being alone, he doesn’t want to be abandoned, so he loves the wrong people, stays with the wrong people, because it seems right. if they stay, ill be okay, even if im still crying. even if it still hurts 49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he does like candy! gets sugar rushes sometimes sdrftugyu dan finds it so fucking cute bc he’s so hyper and giggly 50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? oh please don’t stress him out like that…

Alexander: He/They - Virgo - 24 - 6′0

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? dark purple2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? swords, dragons, and bookmarks3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? dairy and bees4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? what he actually has to wear differs from what he personally likes. his father is the king so because of that, he often has to wear a lot of suits/prince attire. but personally, when he doesnt have to be Prince, he likes to wear dark and comfy clothes, a lazy emo5. What is your OC’s first memory? he vaguely remembers aster being born and wanting to help his mom take care of her 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? dragons!!! doesnt have a least favorite??? maybe mosquitos 7. What element would your OC be? hhhhh water 8. What is your OC’s theme song? something heavy and dark9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? he has a charming n husky kinda voice !10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? greed or envy11. What are your OC’s hobbies? fighting, taking care of dragons, making rings, and reading historical books12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? he’s been trained to be patient, for the most part, but when he’s passionate about something he tends to get hot-headed sometimes 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? non-binary, bisexual, he’s an alien so he’s kinda pinkish… same color as aster but a little lighter 14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? loves seafood… isn’t really into eggs 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? he Has his dream pet, a dragon, so he’s Good16. What does your OC smell like? woodsy and clean 17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? he’s a prince but he works with dragons a lot!!! it’s his Dream… or to sell his rings 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? commitment, losing his family, and sharks. he gets too lost in his head at times, distances himself from everyone. he’s physically very strong and a charming/calm guy by nature 19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? he’s not the biggest music guy but enjoys rock/alternative/emo stuff20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? curious about everything, goes into almost every shop he can find and tries out so many different foods…21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? his last relationship was Bad and he’s still very much affected by it… he hates wearing socks to bed dfyguh it annoys him so much22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? excellent, top of his class23. What is a random fact about your OC? he loves tattoos and would love to be covered in them one day 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? currently, his outlook is very bleak dxfyuibj he’s really sad,,,25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? i gave aster siblings and then slowly developed him in my head!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? his family, specifically his siblings, anddd his ex boyfriend still haunts his almost every thought and action :/27. What kind of childhood did your character have? good!!! he and his siblings did so much stuff together dxfghjkl; i Love them28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? twists his rings a lot or shakes his leg when he’s nervous. doesn’t stim 29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? fuck, man, i have no fucking clue and neither does he30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? currently, no31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his ex boyfriend tried to kill him once. he relives that memory almost everyday, and hates himself for not telling anybody about it. his siblings always know how to cheer him up, which he’s soooo grateful for. the 3 of them went to an amusement park once and just had so much fun, eating waaaay too much and going on all of the rides 32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? happiness33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? er probably wouldn’t but if it was his ex… he would reconsider 34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? his dads the king, hes a prince, so he often finds himself at balls or parties and pretends to be super charming and openly available for marriage, even though he doesn’t want it and his younger brother will most likely take the throne instead35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? he never stops living in daydreams or memories and would like it all to just. stop. let him b r e a t h e36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? peace. he wants everything to stop, he wants his head to stop convincing him somethings wrong when hes fine and he wants his thoughts to stop wants the voices gone.37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he sucks skittles and starbursts for a long ass time before actually eating them…38. What would your character do with a million dollars? donate it all 39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? nothing dfhgjk he hasn’t restocked it yet,,, probably some clothes and random books lying around. uhhh probably some alcohol, candy, and a map. crumpled up paper and wrappers in his garbage can40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? uh probably alone and to get wasted or high,,, doesnt matter where :/41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? self isolates and simmers in his anger, throws shit and screams because hes so mad/frustrated 42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? theres some cigarette burns on his thighs from his ex, a couple on his back and arms/legs from either fighting or his ex… there’s probably more but id have to think a lot more on his ex and stuff, which i will do eventually!43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? towards the end of his relationship he probably said some harsh things to his ex44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? fine unless its super personal to him, then it reminds him of his ex and he cant focus on anything, he shuts down45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? inhales it. please feed him46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? stares at it for so long.. would probably carry it with him always dsfgjkl;47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? he things drawing buildings is super relaxing…48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? very loving! hes very grateful for them and how supportive they are, even if its unconventional to being next in line for the throne. they just want him happy more than anything49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he loves candy, shoves it in his mouth so fast estrytuyul he only gets sugar rushes if he binges on candy around others??? never when hes just munching on it alone50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? i cant say he’d be entirely mad at his current state… would probably say his goodbyes and then just wait, or wander around waiting 

#wow i have ocs #aristotle #jordan #tyler #alex #oh god i really did this didnt i

[lustgodlester]

School trip

||Featuring pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil along with the classic daddy kink||

Dan had always known Phils weakness. When the cute pastel boy wore a fucking skirt and thong whenever he’d go to cheerleading.

Dan was rather small so of course the cheerleaders got to throw him in the air. And Phil made sure to get the seat where Dans skirt lifted just enough to see Dans ass.

But Phil was the absolute opposite of Dan. Most likely the reason they were enemies. But when Phil was on the field playing football and Dan just gave him a lust-filled gaze, he would lose his fucking mind.

Because Phil could get so hard for that boy so fast.

It didn’t help that at any time Phil could imagine Dan bending over for him, precum leaking from his swollen cock and his pretty pink asshole just begging for attention.

So when Principal Westwood told the opposites that they had won a trip to Tokyo because they had won a story competition. They were thrilled.

Until the pudgy man told them they didn’t have enough money for separate beds. Phil lost it.

“Are you fucking serious? I have to share a bed with a chick? Isn’t that against the rules?” He complained, gesturing to small Daniel.

“Oh don’t get me started, Lester! You think just because you’ve got tattoos and piercings you’re the king!” The brunet defended.

Mr.Westwood sighed. “Boys, if you don’t get along then we’re gonna have to cancel this trip for both of you.”

It was torture to the two. They had never been outside of their country so going to Tokyo was amazing. Dan decided to be the bigger person and just flat out left the stuffy office.

Phil bit his lip and walked out of the room, nervousness swallowing him as he climbed onto his motorcycle and drove home to pack.

The trip was tomorrow, that is.

Dan squealed.

He was going on a trip with Phil Lester. They guy who could literally take anyone’s V-card and they would give no fucks.

Dan decided to play tease with the poor boy, packing only skirts that didn’t even go down mid-thigh and dark colored thongs to contrast from the mostly colorful skirts.

Of course Dan wouldnt let Phil know that. So for the next day, a t-shirt, skinny white jeans (that clung to Dans ass), and a flowercrown would have to do.

Phils head was filled with Dan doing whatever and everything he could imagine.

It was spring and it’d be hot. And Phil just loved showing off his biceps. So to drive Dan just a little insaine. He only packed black skinny jeans (that showed off the large bulge in Phils pants) and tank tops of all varieties.

This was gonna be a fun week.

*                  *                *

This was gonna be an awful week for Dan Howell and Phil Lester.

Neither of them knew what the other had packed or what was up their sleeves.

Because Dan did something completely different from skirts the next day and Phil had dressed casually.

Something in Phil knew about Daniel. He knew that he’d try and tease him anyway he could. Break him, watch his pray for Dan to be riding his cock.

Phil shook his head and walked up to Dan, setting down his suitcase and wrapping his arms around the others waist.

“What’s up, Howell.” He asked, the words seemed to come from his so easily now, the word Howell rolled off his tongue from using it so much.

Dan detached Phils arms even though he wished they would move lower and rub his thighs, play with his cock, fuck him senseless right there in the god damn airport.

Dan dismissed the thoughts as he crossed his arms and looked up at him. “Phil. Glad to see you aren’t dancing around trying to fuck people now.”

Phil chuckled and fuck did it sound good to Dans ears. You see, Phils voice could go from ‘normal’ to unbelievably sexy in three seconds.

His voice was like a gods.

“Oh Daniel…” Phil whispered as he took a step towards Dan, leaning towards his ear and smirking. “I know you’re a slut, always wanting to ride on a cock, but I’ll have to ask you, please don’t get too horny on the flight, we can’t have sex while we’re up there.”

And with that he was gone, his suitcase was attached to his hand and he was waiting in line for the flight. Phil was right. He wanted a dick in him always. He was a virgin but he was not innocent. At all.

Dan took his things, walking onto the plane and quickly trying finding his seat. “Daniel.” I voice snapped, and he knew exactly who it belonged to.

He walked towards Phil, who was standing in first class and waited. “They got us first class seats, the only problem is that it’s a fucking single bed.” He whispered harshly.

Dan shrugged. “But Philly, that just means we have more room for tonight.” He commented, walking past Phil and jumping into the bed.

Phil shook his head, running his tongue over his lips. This was gonna be a long flight but it would be good.

Phil sat on the bed, pressing a button that put up walls, excluding them from the outside world.

“Fancy. I thought you’d have to ride me with everyone to see. But you wouldn’t mind that.” Phil mumbles, putting a hand on Dans thigh and rubbing lightly.

“Oh fuck off Phil.” He hissed, getting rid of the hand and pulling a blanket over his waist.

It was now night and Dan couldn’t stand it. Phil was awake and doing whatever entertained him.

Soon Dan fell asleep and Phil didn’t have anything to do except stare at Dans pretty ass (which he didn’t mind that much).

It was only thirty minutes since Dan felt asleep and he was whimpering. Phil looked over, furrowing his eyebrows and wondering what was going on.

His eyed widened when he had seen Dan ontop of his pillow, grinding his hips down into it as another whimper escaped.

“P-Philly… O-oh y-yeah…” he swore he heard Dan moan. Was… was Dan having a wet dream about him?

Yes. It was obvious. The grinding, the moaning, the whimpering. Phil didn’t know what to do, but he was loving every second of it.

He tore his eyes away from the boy but in the next second, Dan was on him, his arms hooked around Phils neck and his hips grinding into Phil.

“P-please d-daddy… n-ngh… i-I need y-your c-cock… p-please!” He begged. Phil sighed, he couldn’t wake up Dan and he couldn’t just leave him like this.

So Phil did what anyone would do.

He stuck his leg between Dans leg, pushing his thigh up into his erect cock and gripping onto his ass. “Such a pretty little whore. You want Daddy to fuck you into this matress? Right now infront of all these sleeping people?”

Dan the his head back and Phil could feel the small boys cock twitch. “You want Daddy to ram into you, destroying your pretty pink hole and having everyone watch you, moaning and withering under me as I mark you as mine.” He growls into Dans ear, smirking and caressing Dans ass.

Phil stopped all together after a few seconds and Dan practically died. “P-phil! P-please! I-I need y-you! I-I n-need to c-come, p-please d-daddy!”

Phil was determined to at least make Dan come into his pants. It would embarrass him and Phil could tease Dan all about it in the morning.

He climbed ontop of Dan, leaving soft kisses down his neck. “Tell daddy how much you want him. How much you want me to play with your cock.”

Dan cried out as Phil grinded his growing erection into him, and using one hand to reach up his shirt and play with one of his nipples.

“O-Oh g-god! P-phil i-im S-so close!” Dan begged, bucking his hips up desperately.

Phil stopped everything he was doing, leaning to Dans ear. “That isn’t my name, baby boy.” He growled, suddenly rubbing their erections together.

“D-daddy!” Dan moaned as he came, panting and shivering for a while while Phil kissed up Dans stomach. “I’ll punish you tomorrow for coming when I didn’t tell you you could. Twenty spanks from daddy, got it my whore?” Phil spoke harshly, climbing off Dan as he nodded frantically.

“Good.” He rolled into his side and pulled Dan close to him. “I can’t wait till you wake up…” Phil mumbles, pushing his leg between Dans thighs and rubbing painfully slow as he fell asleep.

* * *

||This is an old fic i wrote that’s literally the worst ever but… yeah. If you want a part two then i’ll write one?? Trust my my writing has improved since then ok|| ||also sorry it's so short oki bye||

#phan smut #phan