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hamliet · 11 months

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Never Have I Ever... Been So Grateful For a Show

Well, NHIE finished strong after the fourth season got off to a rocky start. The first three episodes were... messy, honestly, but then the story picked up steam. By the time we got to the final two episodes I was bawling pretty much the full way through.

NHIE also continued to flex its mature understanding of nuance, its appreciation for cultural differences, and its determination to keep its characters flawed and realistic. And including a game of Never Have I Ever in the finale? Fab.

All in all, it's a great ending to a great show. I loved it.

Ben and Devi

I've seen people complaining that the end relationship was predictable, or that Devi should be single, and kindly: no. <3

It fit Devi's character to end up in romantic love with someone, because the entire show has been about love for her. Love for her family, love for those who have died, love for her friends, love for her mentors, and yes, romantic love in all the aspects that entails (physical, intellectual, emotional).

The other thing that I think is beautiful about their relationship is that they both push each other in all these ways--physical (obviously), emotionally (Ben's final realization in New York was chef's kiss), and intellectual. They both get to go to their dream schools in part because of each other. Not only have they been pushing each other to excel since before the show started, but Devi helps Ben finish his schoolwork, and Ben encourages Devi to write that final letter to get into Princeton.

Ben's early acceptance to Columbia, which seemed a given given, well, his father and nepotism (I appreciated the show behind upfront about this), ultimately still almost gets sabotaged by his own repressing of other aspects of his life (which parallels Paxton, Blair Quan, and more, and isn't exactly new--see Ben's physical issues last season). This contrasts him with Devi, whose self-sabotage is always doing too much too suddenly. She's been trying so hard all along, but sometimes you need a final cheer to push you over the finish line.

Ben and Devi, Ethan and Margot

Ethan is dark!Ben. Margot is dark!Devi. On paper it's great.

Except... Margot was really, really annoying. I'm sorry, I found nothing remotely redeeming about her. Ethan at least served a purpose. The reason I think the first three episodes are so rough is that they focus on Margot but seem to not know what to do with her. But more about that later on.

Ben's speech about why he chooses to be with Margot in the first episode is well done and shows how much growth he still has to do. Because an essential part of love--of a mature kind of love and relationship--is that you are challenged to become a better version of yourself. Ben and Trent, in episode 2, shy away from this. Trent breaks up with Eleanor because he's afraid she'll break up with him, and he wants to do it first. Ben stays with Margot because she offers him superficial challenges, but nothing substantial in terms of his flaws.

That said, Devi making peace with Margot (numerous times) was narratively necessary because, of course, Margot's kind of a literary shadow (just not really well done). It also showed how much Devi's grown.

Trent + Eleanor

Trent's character is also really well done. That's how you deepen a comedic character. (Ethan was also dark!Trent in some ways; hence, Eleanor's crush on him.) Yeah, Trent's a stoner and not so bright. But, he loves Eleanor. He adores her, and he wholeheartedly believes in her. It's heartwarming to see.

I wasn't surprised they broke up early on, but was relieved they got back together. I think it was a funny inversion of what you'd expect, because El moving on to bigger and better things seemed like a natural progression. Yet, as the scene with El's mom showed... that's not what bigger and better is for Eleanor.

Yes, Eleanor still wants to grow. Yes, she still wants to be an actress and a director, and she's good at it.

But she doesn't want to leave her family and loved ones behind.

Eleanor knows what it's like to be left behind. And obviously it's not the same to leave a teenage boyfriend as to leave your own child like her mom. But, Eleanor ending up back with Trent was, frankly, narratively perfect for both their characters. Because Trent was helping her in her growth, and always had been from Season 3.

I also think they handled Eleanor's dreams and her complicated mother relationship well. The dream itself, even if it is far-fetched, even if it is unlikely to happen, is not bad. Pursuing it also is, in fact, positive (they paralleled this with Devi's dreams of Princeton). But, one of the best parts of dreams? Is the people you meet along the way, the people who cheer you on. It's a metaphor for life.

Paxton (and Lindsay)

Paxton's arc I think is one of the best in the series. I loved his journey from boy who was considered "hot guy" who sucked at school to the point where it was comic becoming a teacher. The episode where he helped Eric join the swim team was actually really powerful.

And, I didn't even roll my eyes when Devi told him he was an even better friend than boyfriend. On paper it's a cliche line, but it totally works within the characters' arcs (and of course the actors' portrayals!). Lindsay also seemed like much more than just a consolation prize to the guy who ends up outside the triangle--their relationship paralleled his with Devi, and quickly got me invested.

His final advice to Devi: "don't reinvent anything" also fits really well, because when Paxton at first refused to be Devi's boyfriend it was because Devi's image wasn't acceptable after the two-timing thing. Then, Devi's anxiety during their public relationship, the anxiety that actually ruined their romance, was because she didn't think she fit with Paxton or "made any sense" with him. But, she does fit with him. As a friend, and as herself.

Blair Quan + College

Blair Quan was also dark!Paxton--someone who lost themselves because they were always the Best in high school. The best student, the most popular. And then at college, everyone was the Best. And suddenly you're nothing.

The situation with Blair Quan was really realistic for how college can be for people, and in how the show (admittedly briefly) addressed the fundamental unfairness of college admissions. I work in higher ed, and... it's not fair. Nothing about it is fair. Professor Warner telling Devi outright that she "should have" gotten into all the Ivies actually meant a lot to me, because it's true.

For any readers of this who are applying to schools, there's a degree to which your merit matters, and there's a degree to which it's up to sheer luck. If they reject you, it's almost certainly not because you're not on par with other applicants. Hard work does not get you into prestigious schools. That's a lie. It gets you to a point, but it also gets a lot of other people to that same point, and then there is nothing at all you can do. It's up to luck.

Fab (and Addison. Kind of).

Fab's arc was interesting, but I feel like it peaked in season 2. I did like her conflict this season though, particularly with messing up about lying to Devi. The scene where she and Devi reconcile was beautiful, and the show handled it really well--giving empathy for Fab as for why she kept it a secret, while also pointing out that the lying was the fact greater problem than the initial applying.

The negative is that... I like Addison, but I wanted more. It kind of sucks that the queer character is the one whose romance doesn't come with two complex characters getting development. And sure, Fab isn't as important as Devi, Ben, or Paxton, but the fact that they wrote a compelling romance between Trent and Eleanor and gave Trent some damn deep character development despite him being a comedic character shows they were more than capable of writing a complex character romance for Fab. Addison is really just... kinda there, and we get no development for them at all. Which sucks because I would like to have learned more about them! They had potential, especially as a parallel to Trent!

Nalini and Andres

Nalini and Andres were a little more out of left field... that said, Nalini clearly has a type! She likes guys whom she argues with first. I still preferred the hot doctor from Season 2, but that had less to do with Andres and more to do with the fact that I found Margot so irredeemably annoying. Still, I appreciated Andres' growth in realizing that he'd been spoiling Margot by catering to her every whim. This was itself a nice contrast to Nalini, who hurts Devi by being too hard on her.

That was especially a flaw in the early seasons, but Season 4 really showed how much Nalini has grown. She does mess up with her response to the college debacle, so her flaws are still there, but she's so much better than in Season 1. For example, Devi lashing out at her mom after she got deferred was irrational; Nalini really didn't deserve any of that, and yet Nalini still met Devi where she was at: with a chip salad, addressing her fears. It was heartwarming.

Even when Nalini then does mess up with the "stupid" comment, we know she didn't mean it in the same way Devi fears she did (that that's all she can be, rather than that yes, Devi did a dumb thing). When she comes to help Devi pack, it's genuinely heartwarming. I honestly think Nalini and Devi's relationship is one of the best in the show, if not the beating heart at the center of it.

Pati and Len

Now, Pati. Pati and Lens' relationship parallels Kamala's romantic drama--not just with Manish in Season 3, but also with Steve in Season 1. Pati is also very clearly where Devi gets her drama from, and I stan.

I also liked the parallels between Len and Pati and Ben and Devi. They are both Indian-Jewish couples, and Pati and Len's wedding of course marks a grand romance for them... and a grand romantic gesture for Ben, who arrives to tell Devi he loves her.

Kamala (and Manish)

Kamala's arc this season was good as well; I just wish we had seen more Manish than just in the finale. Still, at least Manish did have an arc in the previous season. Though, it was a nice twist to have Kamala's arc be not about romance, but about her career.

Where Art Thou?

I also missed some other side characters, like Rebecca Hall-Yoshida and Jonah.

Margot & Aneesa

The overall show was filled with callbacks to past seasons that were really well utilized, in that they showed the character's growth. Unfortunately, in one instance, this came back for the worse when they repeated one of their biggest writing mistakes from Season 2.

Devi is, simply put, absolutely not morally responsible for reporting Margot to have lied about her alibi for vandalism. Yeah, Margot ultimately didn't do it--but Devi didn't do anything wrong by reporting that. In fact, the principal should have actually done her job and checked the alibi with the teacher; it's like 101 common sense.

Clearly this is a callback to Aneesa (the episode even has Devi reclaiming the nickname "crazy Devi," which started there). However, the shame is that the writers didn't learn from how they bungled the Aneesa plotline, and they did. Here again they hold Devi responsible for something she frankly is not morally in the wrong for. The show also mentions the Aneesa incident and calls Devi "a liar and a bully" for it, but she objectively didn't lie? And frankly Aneesa bullied Devi more than Devi bullied her and was never called out for it.

While I think it's a flaw, it COULD theoretically work from a psychoanalytic theory in that really all that Devi can control is herself. She can't force others to do what she wants, even if it's unfair. And that's part of maturing is realizing that (and it's not the same thing as selfish focus). You can't control the world, even when it's unfair and even when other people are frankly wrong.

I did like more or less how Margot was resolved in the end; namely, that she was not there among Devi's friends at the end. I also liked that Aneesa did defend Devi in the final episode from someone mocking her about the Clean Sweep. It just would've matter more if Aneesa's actions had ever been addressed.

The Principal + Professor Warner

Also, while in general the show is great in its portrayal of teachers and satire of other teachers, the principal sucks and she's not actually funny. She acts like another teenager, but unlike some of the other teachers/adults who are framed well, she's framed as being more or less fine instead of with the critical lens of the others. And she isn't.

Professor Warner stands in stark contrast, because she is wise even though flawed. The principal is just... awful. I'd never liked her, but this season made me hate her.

The Therapist + Grief

Now that I've gotten my salt out of the way, let's end with a positive and a theme.

The therapist's final session with Devi in the penultimate episode--I bawled.

“When I first met you, you were a closed-off, angry little thing... But look at you. Look how far you’ve come. You faced your trauma, and you came out on the other side.”

They used this to emphasize the show's main theme: grief. Despite how this quote makes it sound, the show doesn't actually frame grief as something to move on from. Instead, it's something that accompanies you.

Grief is like chasing a dream. Grief is part of life. It is love itself, but a painful part of it, and grief never, ever stops. You never "get over" someone's loss. You never stop loving them.

But, you learn to see them around you, and in you. In the dreams you planted together, like Devi's dad telling her about Princeton. In the loved ones you shared, like how Devi yells at her imagination of her father that he's not here, but then Nalini arrives to help her pack.

Just because someone's gone doesn't mean they stop influencing you, or stop being a part of your life.

There will always be moments of pain, like Devi in the final episode with the imagination of her dad. But, there will also be moments of feeling them again.

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cupcakesandtv · 2 years

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It’s Brutal Out Here pt 3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

“Stay where you are,” Devi heard her mom telling Fab and Trent. Devi wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Trent give his full attention to someone. “And don’t engage with the police. I know the police are supposed to help but they won’t let anyone near the school.”

“Mom!” Devi wished she could have hugged her mother but seeing her on screen was a relief. “What is going on?”

“You’re not hanging out with boys are you?” Paxton was inching into the frame but very quickly took a step away. “Mom! There’s zombies, let’s focus on the real problem!” Nalini narrowed her eyes in a way that made even Trent wilt and fade behind the three girls now in frame.

“There’s no help coming."

“What?” all the kids shouted.

“We’ve tried. I’ve got Fabiola’s mother here, we’ve been yelling but these cops, we were at the entrance to the school, they won’t do anything. They sent us home. The houses around the perimeter of the school have been evacuated and they won’t tell us what is happening. Are there really zombies? That can’t be real. This isn’t a movie.”

“Yes, zombies. They’re either slow or fast. We haven’t figured it out. And they definitely like to eat people. I watched them eat Mrs. Hernandez.”

Trent popped up behind them. “And you know she’s one of the most feared teachers. Only a zombie would have the guts to come for her!” “Mrs. Hernandez is dead?” Nalini asked, almost to herself, shocked. “All I know is they won’t let anyone out or into the school area. They turned off phones. They don’t want parents to communicate with kids.”

“This can’t be right, Mom.” Devi shook her head. “You’re telling me the cops don’t care about saving us, getting us out of harm’s way, keeping us safe…” she slowed and tilted her head. “Okay actually, when I say it aloud, it makes an uncomfortable amount of sense.”

“If this is an outbreak, they don’t want it to spread,” Trent added.

“Devi, I’m going to keep yelling at people until I figure this out. But you need to stay put and stay safe.”

Devi closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay.”

Before they could say anything else, the video cut and Devi huffed.

“Starting to feel like every person we talk to knows less about this situation than we do,” Eleanor said, sighing dramatically (but totally reasonably dramatic for the current situation, if you know what I mean. Zombies call for all the dramatics Eleanor was best known for!)

Paxton scrubbed at his face before looking at Devi. “What are we going to do?”

“We need to get settled to stay here for a while,” Trent cut in.

“How long?” Devi asked, her brow furrowed, feeling overwhelmed.

“Probably a few days,” Fabiola answered. “You guys were smart to come here so we have bathrooms and some food, but it’s gonna be uncomfortable.”

Devi started to feel hot. Her skin was itchy and no matter how many times she blinked, she couldn’t seem to clear her field of vision of those little floating spots.

“Eleanor, you can sleep on me. I’ll cushion you from the tile floor of the cafeteria.” Trent smiled at Eleanor. Eleanor turned up her nose but feigned a smile.

Before Devi knew what she was doing, she was out of the kitchen, and into the main cafeteria, 10 kids she barely knew from her first period class just staring at her.. “Did you get through to your mom?”

“Is my mom dead?”

“Do you know what’s happening?”

“When are the cops coming?”

“Is everybody outside dead?”

“What are we going to do?”

Kids shouted, whined, frantically spoke over one another and Devi shook her head to try and concentrate.

“Everybody shut up!” she yelled. “We’re gonna be fine. We’re all gonna be fine!”

The kids instantly erupted again into cheers, more questions, and more noise.

“Knock it off!” she shouted. “Zombies are just here. Your families should be fine. And the cops will figure this out soon.”

The kids all seemed content with those answers and many of them even smiled in relief. Devi walked towards a water fountain on the far wall, far away from everyone, and took a sip of water, hoping to chill out.

“You lied,” Paxton’s voice interrupted her water break and Devi’s last shred of sanity slipped.

“So?’ she snapped, turning around quickly, catching Paxton off guard.

“You’re kind of a liar.” He said it with a smile but Devi only saw red.

“We’re losing kids to the hallways faster than the cops shot at us. It’s better that I lied!” Devi’s itchy skin turned warmer and she felt her nails dig into her palms as she clenched her fists.

“We can tell them the truth and still keep them safe,” Paxton argued, his joking vibe replaced with irritation.

“There’s only 10 kids out there when an hour ago there were 13. We’re losing them and you know they step foot out of this room and the flesh eating zombies take care of them. If they know help isn’t coming, that our only instructions were to stay put, we’ll lose five more of them to the reanimated so how about we just don’t.”

“They’re not going to trust us if we lie to them. You know, how when you lie to me I get mad and don’t want to talk to you?”

“Is that why you haven’t spoken to me in months? Do you think I lied to you again? If that’s why, you should have just said so!” Devi waved her arms to make the point.

“That’s something else,” Paxton added, matching her increasing hostility.

“Listen, you’re the muscle, I’m the brains, let me handle this.”

Paxton stepped back, almost like she swung at him. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. It took him a solid 10 seconds to respond and that was only when Devi opened her mouth to say something else. “Fuck off,” he spit out, turning on his heels and storming off.

It took Devi another 30 seconds to realize what she’d said that triggered his outburst. She scrunched up her face, seeing him across the room try to slam the swinging door that led to the kitchen. Paxton’s weak spot was people thinking he was stupid. Hadn’t he said something once about even his parents thinking he wasn’t cut out for school? Devi’s heart sank but she was still annoyed.

When she read Harry Potter (before the world knew JK Rowling was a TERF) or The Hunger Games, Devi always hated the way Harry or Katniss would get so into their feelings. Emotions? At a time like this? The world was ending! But from her position, trying to keep her first period classmates from being turned into zombies, trying to not think about kissing her old crush or hurting his feelings and how he’d view her for it, that shit kept coming up. It was annoying how much she was now in her feelings. In this economy?

Devi shook off the shame spiral she considered sending herself into and instead decided that the way to deal with all these pesky feelings was to bury them deep and ignore them.

Because that always works, right, Devi?

–

Paxton stomped into the kitchen, his skin hot. He was perfectly capable of keeping himself and everyone else alive. Just because she was an honor student and he hadn’t seen a perfect report card since fifth grade didn’t mean that he shouldn’t have input. And you needed all kinds of voices to make things work. Like democracy or whatever.

Trent and Eleanor were leaning against the counter talking to each other very closely and Fabiola was still tapping away, trying to get a line out. “Hand me the-” Fab started but Eleanor handed her the watch before she finished asking.

“That kid, Billy, Bobby?” Trent started.

“Bradley,” Eleanor supplied.

“That kid, Bradley has one too but he won’t give it up. Thinks we’re gonna do something sus with it,” Trent explained. “And Cara has one but it’s dead so we’re gonna get it from her when it’s done charging.”

Eleanor looked up at Paxton and looked at Trent. She elbowed him and Trent noticed Paxton. “Go check if the watch is done charging, take Paxton with you.”

“I don’t need help checking-” Trent was cut off by a glare from Eleanor. He shifted gears and went along with what she’d told him to do. Trent put his arm around Paxton’s shoulder and shuffled him out of the kitchen, Paxton still fuming. “So.”

“So what?” Paxton asked, trying to not search the room for where Devi was at the exact moment. He didn’t want to know where she was. He was mad at her.

“Do you happen to have a condom on you?” Trent waggled his eyebrows.

“Trent, I’ve told you before, I’m not interested,” Paxton said, weary.

Trent clutched his chest. “It hurts every time you say it. But I wasn’t propositioning you.”

Paxton stared at him, blank. He caught a glimpse of the back of Devi’s head over by the doors, but focused on Trent again because he was mad at Devi. What did it matter if she was guarding the doors?

“I think by the end of the day, Eleanor and I are going to do it.” Trent leaned in, a sense of righteous hope on his face. “Originally, I thought, eh, it’s the apocalypse, what do I need a condom for anyway? We’re probably not making it out of this alive.”

Paxton started shaking his head, he didn’t want to hear more but Trent was not stopping.

“But then I remembered Dawn of the Dead where the pregnant lady got turned and her boyfriend hid her and she gave birth to a zombie baby and I am not interested in that outcome at all.”

Paxton sighed and blinked, hoping Trent was wrapping this up. Eleanor was hot, bangable even, if you were into someone who would probably need several costume changes during the course of sex. He wasn’t sure how she’d fit them into the 6-8 minutes Trent would last during sex but he expected Eleanor to make sure to slow Trent down.

“So, anyway, condom?” It’s possible that Paxton missed the last bit of his explanation about all this while thinking about the costume changes, but he tried to make his face into one of understanding.

“I don’t have one,” Paxton answered.

“I’ll ask one of the other guys. Worst case scenario, I’ll just slip into the nurse’s office and bring back a stash.”

McEnroe: Impressed Trent has a plan at all.

“What about you and Devi?” Trent asked, his tone implying something was going on.

“What about her?”

“You guys had that moment, with the foreheads? Girls love that shit. You’re gonna be making out by the end of the day, right? She talks too much but that’s why you makeout, to keep her from saying that weird stuff she has a tendency to blab.”

“Why would I want to make out with someone who thinks my brain is the size of a pea?” Paxton asked, sharp, remembering the way she said “you’re the muscle, I’m the brains.”

Trent tsked. “Aw, you hate it when people think your head is full of fluff, huh, bro?” Trent ruffled Paxton’s hair and Paxton swerved to get his head away. He brushed the sides of his head to smooth down his hair. “I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

“She did,” he argued, a knot forming in his stomach.

“What’d she say?”

Paxton looked at his feet, then around the cafeteria, purposely avoiding the doors he’d seen Devi guarding earlier. He gnawed at the inside of his cheek.

“Nothing,” he said, shortly.

“Okay cool, so actually she didn’t say anything and you just assumed she thinks that of you,” Trent said, shrugging. “Your perception of how people view you is exhausting, man. We got zombies to worry about so please stop worrying about imagined slights from a girl you like but hate that you like and then get mad when she dates other people.”

“No, she actually said-”

“Man, I asked what she said and you said nothing,” Trent cut him off. “Feelings 101, Paxton, you gotta actually tell the truth.”

The truth. Sure. He needed to tell the truth. But Devi didn’t have to. Not to all the other kids. She could just lie. She was so good at it.

McEnroe: To be fair to Devi, she’s actually incredibly bad at it, Paxton.

“Forget it,” Paxton said, wanting to storm off but unsure of a good direction to do that. He spun on his heels and took a step, and tripped on an honest to god, banana peel.

#never have i ever #devi x paxton #daxton #daxton fic #nhie fic #paxton x devi #eleanor x trent #treleanor #it's brutal out here fic #fic

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