#I HAVE A WIFE

[mydarlingdahlia]

Im tryna convince Mia (my gf) to shift with me to the Genshin universe so we can both marry Itto and have a polyamorous relationship

She says she wants Kaeya (ngl I do too) and she doesn’t wanna marry Itto w me 😞

Itto can wait I suppose because she said YES!!

OH MY GOD IM GETTING MARRIED 😭🩷

I’m getting married 🧍‍♀️

Holy shit that information just hit me like a train

I have a fiancé now holyyyyyyy shit

Can’t wait to start planning the wedding!! :)

-C

#charlotte rambles #I HAVE A WIFE #almost #ima start calling her wifey now #yayayayyayaya I have a fiancé :))) #I’m so happy :3

[ratsonfire]

Tonight, Harvey Dent fucks men!

#harvey dent #two face #dc #dc comics #I have a wife #and he’s a middle aged man #prolly thinking about other men #what a queer #I just fucking realized that he’s blue cuz inverted #smart cookie I am

[diazsdimples]

James, my dearest darling bestie/sub/soft dom (platonic), will you tumblr marry me??? 💞🦛

HIRE A CHURCH, BRING OUT THE BELLS, KEEP THE BRIDE AND GROOM IN A SECURE ROOM FOR 24 HOURS SO WE DONT GET KIDNAPPED, WE'RE GETTING MARRIEEEDDDD

👰‍♂️👰‍♀️👰‍♂️👰‍♀️

#james answers things #hippo tag #my wife???? #i have a WIFE #love you with my entire being #🫶🫶🫶

[kiran-wears-science-blues]

WE'RE MARRIED Y'ALL

#personal log #i have a WIFE #WHAT #will do full recap later

[quantum27]

fable 2 be like

pros: you can be fat

cons: the game is fatphobic and will literally put your beauty down because of it.

neutral: the jeering voice in town makes fun of everything so his comments don't feel that bad

#the story is good but like. Idk the game has problems. #BUT NOBODY IS HOMOPHOBIC THO #I have a WIFE #like there is like I would say some racism in the game generally #like the whole morphing system is cool except the way it does skin tones from what I know #I would love a game to take the morphing system. Crank it up to 10 with a bunch of variations and maybe. Like. Less of that #rambling now I'm having a good time #My childhood I played fable 3 mostly but #literally the Internet was right this is the better game #Now I don't think 3 is as bad as they say either but #Yeah. #Sorry for the long tag ramble #fable 2 #fable games #gaming tag #I can't remember if that's the tag

[polinscarriage]

you're getting fuckin' MARRIED tomorrow!!! 🥳

I GOT FUCKIN’ MARRIED MONY 🥹🤩💕

#ahhhhh #I AM A WIFE #I HAVE A WIFE #mony ✨ #asks

[spookyfooxx]

After 13 years I can finally call her my wife

I ❤ you Astrid

#lesbian #just married #reminiscing #i have a wife #halloween wedding btw #been dating 13 years #my life is complete #we walked down the isle together btw #i wore a dress but it was like pants but also a dress #she wore a non traditional dress #happy #happy halloween

[testicularmanslaughtrr]

I have literally no interest in Bauldurs Gate but do find it hilarious that the only reason someone gave me to play it is the big red woman

#she's neat but no thank you #i have a wife #his name is yesman newvegas

[cmeiffel]

oh my gosh I'm married

#i have a wife #im so proud to say it :D #im also the legal guardian of my wifes daughter maya :D

[dmwatermelon]

How can someone be a gay, maybe even fruity, or even spicy little grimy wimey gremlin lad IN THIS ECONOMY? I am such things and I can not I'm fact keep up with the economy. This is blasphemy and they will hear from my council. Good day.

#shitpost #lgbtq #late night #what is this #HAVE YOU SEEN THE STATE WE ARE IN? #little lad #gremlin time #late nite #HOW IS A LAD LIKE ME SUPPOSED YO GET BY PLEASE #i have a wife

[ladysqueakinpip]

guys hot uquiz was just discovered but I'm taking it about 100 yrs too late. anyways everyone share how wifeable you are.

THE WIFE RATING SCALE 1929

#THIS IS SO FREAKING FUNNY TO ME... #i am completely unwifeable by 1929s standards #anyways im such a catch... any takers? 💅 #this is stupid #i HAVE to know whether the nail polish question added or subtracted from your total wife rating #i LOVE red nail polish i NEED to know if that would have made me slutty in 1929

[butchdykekondraki]

14k moonwalker

#look at my wife ok. #og tags -> #[ren] #um. i mean what who said that you guys..... #preemptive ''this post is about wanting to have gay sex with a computer''

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

#spitblaze says things #anyway. #1) please google 'halfling' #2) THERE ARE ADULTS WHO ARE VERY SHORT. DID YOU KNOW THAT. WERE YOU AWARE #3) THERE ARE ALSO ADULTS WHO HAVE CHILDLIKE FACES. DID YOU KNOW *THAT* #4) IF YOU THINK THE ONLY REASON A MAN COULD LOOK LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS MEN IM GOING TO KILL YOU #5) jesus christ will you just read/watch dungeon meshi and understand that the entire conceit of his character and of half-foots in general #is that its fucked up to treat people as children or subhuman because they do not 'look' like what you expect a cisgender adult to look lik #anyway if i see one more person call Chilchuck 'has gray streaks and an ex wife and three adult daughters' Tims a sh*ta #im gonna start smashing things #doin numbers

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[the-holy-ghosted]

Girls will say "this is my beautiful wife" and their beautiful wife is just a weird looking man

#the heron speaketh #delighted to see the blorbo tags on this one if it takes off but i want everybody to know that this post is about #the terror #goodsir my sad pathetic wife harry goodsir #his fluffy muttonchops and big wet eyes like a baby cow have bewitched me. im going to wlakinto the sea #ive been such a normal kind of sad lately let me be a little fuxking derangwd on main for a while OkAY. OKAY. let me be weird ive earned it

[crowingatthestars]

someone ols give nospace code i will literally heart you 4ever 🙏

#please #i'm beggin you #i have a wife #and kids #pls help #i will love you forever