#I am just....very slow at answering them

[its-the-sa]

" So toward the end i think there'd be a few months where they're still routinely fighting and killing each other, while sk just patiently waits for arti to realize they've been married for a while now"

I think this description is really funny to me, I am just imagining them fighting while talking about their day and occasionally complimenting eachother lol

lmao basically

arti is still ultra tsundere about it tho

#rain world #artificer #scavenger king #rw regicide #shipping #im sorry i take so long to answer asks #i have severe adhd #but im determioned to draw something for all of them #if youve asked me smth abt these idiots recently i promise i did not forget i am just very slow

[blood-mocha-latte]

CHAT LUZTOYE PLEASE

HELL YES! i'm SO sorry it took me a forever to get to this <3

so i have a web weave floating around here somewhere that has this as a part of it because well. it's Me. but LOOK at this shit okay

i mean i'm. i'm just. oh my god-

firstly, y'all would not Believe what i sacrificed to get these screenshots and cropping Just Right. literally my sanity is gone. but it's worth it because this gives me Thoughts and now i will express them!

the PARALLELS with this are so Ripe with opportunity for me PERSONALLY because these two scenes seem like the antithesis of each other, in every way. the start of a journey versus the end of one. BUT they hold the same exact light in two Very Important regards.

first off, both the 'just get me a drink' scene and the Fucking Devastating scene both are the End. different in every way; warm v cold, close together v far apart, everything is so so different and everything is absolutely the same: cold and white. the only thing that ever stays the same is that everything changes.

with the first scene and luztoye, for me it's mostly about what's ahead. there's a reason that it's THEE headcanon, okay, and that's because it has so much opportunity. anything can be between these two, anything can happen, anything can have already happened.

and the second thing? the opposite and the same exact thing.

the whole Part of The Breaking Point is that everything is a standstill. everyone is dying, and everything is cold, and nothing ever changes and everything is different in the blink of an eye. this IS the end of the line for luztoye. it's over.

BUT it's the same to the scene in episode one in one important regard.

it's the beginning of something else.

because this is where, to me, at least, the Magic of luztoye is. what happens After. it's about the story, sure, but the destination is always a factor.

i have written roughly 192,456 words of post-war luztoye at this time (*typing from straight jacket*), and it's the most fascinating thing.

how do these two interact After the war, in juxtapose to how they did Before? everything is so different; so much has changed from the first photos to the second. what's the end of it. what's the After.

i hope this makes sense! i feel like it doesn't, but that is very on par for my entire life <3. i just have. feelings. many of them.

anyways. if you have made it to the end of this, congratulations!! have some grainy Hand screenshots as a prize <3

#rie answers #kirk acevedo drop jawline routine NOW. ridiculous #seriously THANK U for the ask i am. just very slow #but i love love love admiring them. and Thinking and Plotting #now. back to the cheerleader mines. this will make sense to Two mutuals #luztoye #george luz #joseph toye #joe toye #band of brothers #also is this meta? i feel like it's too ridiculous to be meta. is there a half meta??? this is just ta

[lavenoon]

Can I ask for a preference for the DCA boys? Sun/Moon/ Eclipse. And if there is a specific AU version you fancy?

Oh, sure!

For the preferences I'm uh. Between Sun/Moon I refuse to choose? I see them as a set, Do Not Separate, and it feels unfair to choose between them. I'm very enthusiastic about healthy sleep, and own unholy amounts of glitter glue and other craft supplies, so it really just works out for a match. I love Eclipse too! Though I see him as separate*, not as intrinsically linked into the set, and given that Sun and Moon are the "originals" they win out over Eclipse**!

*Depends on the interpretation, of course, but if left to my own devices

**This, too, depends on the interpretation, as I've been known to simp for the Police Chief and perhaps a teeny tiny bit the Bounty Hunter in @naffeclipse's Syzygy in Dedication/ Sleuth Jesters

In regards to AU preferences that's already one point then, though uh. I've kind of made half a brand out of being entirely insane over also Naff's Cryptid Sightings Sun/Moon/Eclipse - all three just one being in this one, and big dangerous cryptid soft for one human is simply too much of a weakness.

Them being caretakers is always a plus, because I love the trope of caretaker confronted with being taken care of, does not compute (literally, in their case) and also just. Animatronic existence and the conflict it creates (not necessarily fighting, but the surrounding circumstances in the world, misunderstandings, getting to know each other and growing closer while exploring and appreciating differences as well as similarities, and how these intertwine) is my favorite, though as long as it's human and non human interaction I'm going to be fascinated tbh. As a queer neurodiverse person accepting and cherishing differences, and taking the time to truly understand the other is simply my bread and butter

I suppose I should also say I like my own AU boys too? I mean, obviously, I created them! Though honestly, there are so many versions and interpretations of the boys and I'll eat them all up, I'm really bad at choosing, so I suppose the bottom line of all this is...

#answer let luce #eiffelfeller #my issue is I am slow to read and also easily get overwhelmed #so I am eternally distraught over the fact that I will never get to see/ read everything that would bring me joy #I am more hesitant to approach human/ humanized aus #and. dirty secret. vampire aus somehow do not get me. something about animatronic vamps just makes brain go ? and thats it #WHICH DOES NOT MEAN I THINK EITHER CATEGORY IS BAD AUS #these are very subjective; obviously; they're my preferences! #I'm not dunking on anyone or any specific au #just what I noticed towards what I gravitate #I don't even want that in the main post because I don't want anyone to feel personally addressed #can you see how I'm an anxious mess? #<- refuses to choose between two fictional characters because that would be unfair to one of them #moon is my icon simply because im the sleep wizard #but just because my brand isn't crafts doesnt mean i cant also relate to sun #im rambling. lets post this because i need to get lunch gfhdjs

[piningprecussionist]

(ooc) if whoever stole my writer's brain and drive from me could return those it would be most appreciated, thanks

(this post is just a casual reminder for people that I'm Still struggling and that's why I haven't gotten back to asks or threads yet. Eventually, I promise... hhh)

#ive been rping in the discord some but i even struggle with just. sending in character texts for this group chat thing we have- at times-- #so. r eal suffering over here #i do know that a couple of the asks ive gotten? very much vibe w those immensely. they do spark Something. so thanks very much for those #i am very much looking forward to when i finally get around to answering them- rest assured #ooc #txt #(also a slow art day. although im going to try and wrap up some kit sketches here in a minute and yall might get those. plus some nega scot #+au stuff maybe? we'll see. i might wait and see if i draw more of kim in that au first.)

[witherbythesword]

thinking about unspeakable violence dished out like a soft caress. No sudden force, no screams of "no, no please stop" but just two people completly wrapped up in each other.

Embrasing the pain they give willingly and eagerly. Even as it gets more intense. Why act like you don't want it, you both you want it. To be hit and choked and cut with whinces and controlled breathing through the pain and tears but always a soft smile at the end.

Them being allowed to completly tire themself out, flex their muscles as much as they want. Feeling completly accepted and loved in their sadism. I want to be so good they get into a dom rush. Getting more and more intense and violent until they can't help themself and fold me in two to fuck me to pieces.

thinking about the calmness and the pain. The slow pressing of throats and forming bruises. Smiling into kisses as a pain that was almost unbearable subsides, ready to take more.

Being cut and it hurts so bad, your pupils blown wide, your whole focus on them. You look like a dear ready to be slaughtered under them so cute.

and then they take a lemon to squeeze the juice over to make you whimper some more.

#wither writes #whatever #WHATEVER #And then just getting praised SO much after #clinging to them like a coala while we watch a nice movie and tell them how much the mean to me #and kiss them all over #and they hold me and we drink some hard chocolate #and we both know the pains are going to get worse before they get better but it's just a form love takes shape for us #nsfwtext #so it's okay #just us both glowing and being fully sateiated in our masochist and sadist urges #and feeling so connected #i love other ways of getting hurt of course too! #but it's sunday and all i want is a slow day of being a deer before the slaughter ♡ #:3 #Loving you like a prey animal loves their hunter #flirting (wolf with blood all other them and their snout burried in a dee carcass) #lol #yesterday my friend asked me something #and after i gave my answer they didn't say anything for a few secs and then asked “and how is living with that kind of mental derangement?” #and it took me straight out and i laughed my ass off #but now everytime I say something slightly weird I think “and how is living with that sort of mental derangement?” #very nice honestly #I am frolicking through the fields and running.into traffic at night the whole thing I can only recommend it

[ahollowgrave]

18. Has your OC ever had a prophecy made about them? Was it a big deal or did they ignore it? Was it straightforward or cryptic? Did it ever come to pass or did they circumvent it?

Scuffs my boot

Hiiiiiiiii friend

She kind of sort of does! The prophecy is generic enough that any nun could fill it. But… she’s the youngest and most likely to succeed so the weight of it falls upon her shoulders. It certainly feels like a big deal, to her, as it is the thing that started her on the path of a paladin. Something to do with lost saints, missing holy weapons, you know! God stuff!

It’s a prophecy from Menphina ‘herself’ so there is zero chance of Odette trying to ignore it or circumvent it. She would do anything for her Holy Lover’s affection.

It is pretty straightforward in the end goal, but vague in the… how to get there. She’s struggling through this part, now. But she has some time! She’s gotta get good with a sword and shield before she can wield the holy relics that are her’s to claim.

My end goal is to, eventually, do a mini-arc with Odette and her friends helping her find and retrieve the items! She can’t do this alone, she’s just a nun, but she is lucky enough to be friends with some very cool people!

Thank you for the ask, my friend!!! > Get to know my OC <

#Answered #about #I say end goal because I am being very slow about putting the story beats together #because I plan to open this up to friends #so I wanna be REAL CERTAIN AND SURE of things before I start it #because I can change things willy nilly when its just me playing dolls #but if I am including other peoples dolls I wanna be extra careful and mindful so they are also having fun #I've had too many friends who have had other peoples' plots make them feel used or like their OC was ripped from them and made to do #out of character things #you know? #idk #I'm also real bad about plots that focus on my own characters #it feels weird and bad !!! #i don't mind and I actually love filling a bit of NPC role for other people because odette is such a helper #but we're getting there!

[mundanemiseries]

she's a switch but happy to dom if that's his preference

you can certainly take her clothes if you like but unsure if they'll fit... maybe matchies?

unsure if she could throw him but she's willing to try lmfao

   ✦  ||  type bingo! | @pluviacuratio  ||

❝  ....first of all before I say anything else.  ❞

Marking down "lets him be a clothing gremlin," even if it doesn't really fit him, he'd be "borrowing" from her closet. Also marking off dom.

❝  congrats on the uh  ❞   Hold on he's gotta count it.   ❝  Seven bingos! counting the maybes I decided count  ❞

❝  we really should get to know each other more when I'm not...horribly swamped with work...that is.  ❞

#pluviacuratio #● | asks | i've been answering machines all night | #✦ | raven | in character | ✦ #■ | v. | main | a mighty fine grave in the summer thaw | #// which speaking of them interacting #@.@ i have the stuff from u drafted i'll get to it (hopefully) soon i prommyyyyy #i am just....very slow and easily distracted XT #also let it be known Rae *is* willing to top on occasion and would for her #just…;v; please take care of him when he does he gets p emotionally vulnerable when he does

[purity-town]

Hey all, I’m so sorry but I won’t be able to update this week. A lot of factors just came together such that I wasn’t able to finish the page. I’m aware that my uploads have been more irregular than normal lately, and I do apologize for that -- with how long each page takes to make, I truly do want to keep on top of a regular upload schedule.

I’m going to do my best to get things back on track from here on -- I want to start on pages earlier and work on them incrementally rather than in just a marathon, I have ideas for more one-shots that I haven’t been able to write, and I want to consistently upload over the rest of July.

We’ll see how well that all goes, but I do want to genuinely thank folks for sticking with my Terraria AU. I love what I make a lot, and have a lot of fun creating both the main AU and spinning up offshoots in my head from it. I’ll do my best to answer the asks I’ve been sitting on, both here and on my main, and with all hopes, I’ll have a normal update out next Sunday!

#In all seriousness I do apologies for the asks I haven't gotten to lately #I haven't had the energy to write up responses to them #As much as I've thought up said responses in my head #I do read all asks and DMs even if I don't always answer right away #Folks I talk to more often will recognize that I am a very very slow artist haha #Purity Town pages should not take as long as they do #But despite using time saving tricks things just go slowly sometimes #And I'm not always able to just sit down and wrap things up in a timely enough manner #But I still recognize that I have improved a lot since I started #And that's good! :D #not an update

[masquenoire]

OOC// what is Roman’s opinion, if he has any, on things like Pride and activism?

Pride and activism is in a very strange place when it comes to Roman. As far as he’s concerned, he couldn’t give a flying fuck about the whole movement™ and rolls his eyes whenever companies make a great deal about showing off how ‘progressive’ and ‘virtuous’ they are when truthfully, they’re just chasing dollar signs like any other greedy corporation out there. It doesn’t feel genuine to him and he won’t participate in any of it, feeling that actions speak louder than empty platitudes and false support. That being said, he is very accepting of people that don’t conform to society’s expectations and norms. You’re in love with another man? Fantastic, now wear your fucking mask and get to work. You don’t want to wear feminine attire as his secretary? That’s cool, just wear trousers or whatever makes you feel comfortable so long as you don’t end up looking like a total slob. It’s their lives, not his; he’s happy the way he is now and Roman would feel rather hypocrital denying somebody their identity when his own was such a struggle to obtain. He can relate even if it’s something he’s not very open about. When it comes to people he cares about, really cares about or are important to him such as his and his partner’s hypothetical children, Roman would immediately be one of the most supportive people you can count on. You sure that’s the way you feel about somebody who’s the same sex? Cool, now go get you the person of your dreams. You’re a girl but like rockets and typical ‘boy’ things? Great! Enjoy those hobbies you thought you weren’t entitled to before just because you’re the ‘wrong’ gender! He’s been there, he knows exactly how it feels being sad and confused about how fucked up society is and it’s shit so it isn’t something he’s ever going to put his kids through, not after the bullshit his parents pulled all throughout his childhood.

#elisethetraveller #;; asks #( 💀 ♮ UNMASKED MALICE ♮ | headcanons ) #Thank you for sending this in! #I appreciated this a lot and the other asks you've sent me #Will be answering them when I can but as you all know I am slow #This was a really nice question to answer though #Roman is weird #It's easy to think he's not supportive but this man is #He's just like 'I don't need to purchase cheap rainbow flags and only talk about it in June to be supportive' #He just is but business comes first #To people who are important to him he'll listen and help where needed #Very awful man but he's got some values asdfghjkl

[vibesaresimplyatrocious]

Dude your tags on that writing post are making me go wild because oh my gosh your fic does read like someone committing to the bit!! Like in the nicest possible way it does read like improv every plot point feels like a “yes and” moment and it’s AMAZING (also it’s great to know that the character assassination of Johnny Storm was not premeditated lmao)

oh yeah pretty much everything in it is just a "yes and" moment where I did something earlier and I decide to play off of it more. Like, especially in chewing coffee.

i decided to commit to chewing coffee because I had like. one specific scene with the avengers i wanted to write, and i needed a way to fucking get there. So i decided I'd just start with dealing with the narrative consequences of the last fic and I would get to the avengers when I figured out how to get peter's character emotionally to the place he needed to be for that bit. it's been three hundred pages, by the way. and we still have some decent ground to cover.

I like talking about writing and stories, so there's a huge fuckign data dump below the cut about how the improv developed and the johnny storm thing. don't feel obligated to read it, it's a lot.

One of my big pet peeves in stuff that has romance, especially when there's a "woman" character (since the omegaverse basically just always has a guy taking the "female" role in the relationship) is when that character's like. entire life becomes their love interest. Like nah. They have to have other shit going on. you gotta let them do their own things. having feelings for this person doesn't mean you don't have other shit in your life.

My other big pet peeve is when people do things for drama and then don't follow through with the logical consequences of that.

Which is one of the reasons why Matt's the love interest and has hardly been in the fic. peter's got his own shit going on. The biggest consequence of hand-spun silk wasn't them getting feelings for each other--that's manageable, even if they're going to be huge fucking dumbasses about it. It was the bridge. at the time, I decided i needed a big climax action scene thing to sort of make a transition moment in the narrative that would push matt and peter to commit fully to what they were doing. but the logical consequence of that is "wow the public got a HUGE FUCKING CLUE as to who this mystery omega is."

of course, i was never going to write chewing coffee, so i thought i was never going to deal with it. then, i wrote chewing coffee. so i had to deal with it.

so Peter's got bigger shit going on, and he's got a very full life outside of matt. Matt stilll adds to his life! even if they both have a huge amount of trouble realizing it, they both really love being with each other. They're both some of the most important people in each other's lives. But they still get to lead their own lives, which i find much healthier and does way better justice to Peter's character. Like, he is his own main character, and so is matt. Both of them are superheroes in their own right, and while they are huge allies, neither of them is less capable or some kind of damsel. neither of them is teh traditional hollywood love interest screaming for the hero to save them. So peter does not need his narrative chained to getting a boyfriend. he can get a boyfriend and stop a bomber.

and like. i want to be clear, i'm not shitting on romance as a genre. finding love can be the number one driving factor! that's okay! great even! especially if you don't want to have to devote a bunch of narrative space to a bunch of subplots. the pet peeve specifically arises when people set up a bunch of other stuff to make it more exciting, like some kind of villain or enemy, and either make it secondary to the love plot when the fucking murder attempt is objectively way more pressing, or when they make it into an excuse to damsel the "female" character for the love interest. Like, i'm sorry, peter can lift multiple fucking tons and you think the physically normal man is the one who does the rescuing? Peter is not a damsel. he has never been a damsel. like he looks like a twink but he is one of the most powerful heroes in comics and way too many people decide to damsel him just so whoever's playing his love interest can be a hero. In general, i don't like the entire trope of "love interest as damsel." Like. take MJ for example. She's been dangled off so many fucking bridges. but she's been in peter's life for forever. she's tough as nails and deserves having her own narrative and character independence outside of being someone you can dangle off a bridge.

I dunno, it's a balance that has to be struck for me, i'm not saying it's bad if love interests help each other. Like, Matt does help peter! Peter needed help that Matt specialized in (law), and Matt was able to help him! there's nothing wrong with needing help and matt and peter can and do pull each other's asses out of fires. but peter still gets to be strong and independent and capable and matt doesn't need to hold his hand through every fucking plot point, jesus christ. I think some of the best romances are ones where people are just looking at their partner being extremely badass and applauding. it just icks me out when one person is made less capable just so the other person can be a big fucking hero. so that's the number one thing i had in mind while improv'ing matt and peter's relationship.

I do plan on making matt more present in the plot, for the record! once i started getting a sense for what i was doing, i started realizing some things i wanted to have in there needed build up or they'd be coming out of left field, so we have a lot of narrative threads just set up that i'll be tying together soon.

The other reason why Matt hasn't been as present and will start being more present is because my biggest rule of writing is that I can never sacrifice character for plot. i've trashed and redone entire projects before because i decided that i hadn't brought the characters to the right point to make the decisions they were making for the sake of plot, so the plot had to go in order to make the characters right. it's more of a general vibe? the biggest guiding factor during all of this is whether I've gotten them to a point where I can understand why they're able to make the decisions they're making.

And there was no fucking way that Peter would ever get with Matt after hand-spun silk.

Part of this is because I very firmly believe that just sex cannot be a basis for a relationship, especially in the context of ABO. Like, if it's just that they spent a rut together? Nah. Losing control of your body and having hormone-fueled sex is not grounds for a relationship. if anything, it's the grounds for intensive therapy, not a relationship. Like, what do you like about their personality? how do you feel about their communication style? what if you hate the way they chew? Peter's never going to look at someone he just had a bunch of sex with and think "wow, we should be in love." Sex is great, fantastic, having good physical chemistry can be really valuable, but it's not the sole basis of love. He spent his entire life being objectified, and he's also someone who's in a very healthy long-term relationship where they had to work fucking hard to stay with each other.

MJ and Peter's love story was something that sort of strung itself together in the background and it became something I really, truly loved. Like, originally, I was trying to figure out how to just make Peter mentally good with offering to do this for a bro, and I decided he couldn't be in a relationship. He'd have to necessarily talk it through with someone else to clear it, and matt would have called the entire thing off the second it started causing more inconvenience than was already obvious, so that would derail it entirely. But I didn't want to do that thing where the preexisting female love interest is a huge bitch or inexplicably missing or whatever just to make way for a ship, so i decided that she was still a huge part of his life and decided to add in a gag where they called it on and off again like they were playing a game of hot potato. Inadvertently, that gave them an epic fucking love story of people who had to wake up every single day and make the conscious choice to love each other.

it's hard to show, because it's all stuff that happened in the past, but it's inherent in their everything. it's one of the reasons why they have such good communication--it was figure it out or destroy each other, and they figured it out. Inherently, Peter and MJ are extremely traumatized people subjected to structural violence and generational abuse. they spend every single day of their lives under extreme stress, from poverty and violence and inequality and fighting crime. their early relationship would have been a mess. they had to create ways to keep themselves from destroying each other. they had to spend a fucking decade meticulously laying boundaries and figuring out how the other worked best, and working fucking hard to respect and fulfill each other.

Like, most of it ended up written in their mannerisms. Like the scene where MJ's going off to get peter's camera--i fucking adored that scene, because Peter's arguing with her about how dangerous it is for her to go and how he doesn't want her to go while tying her shoes for her so she can go. That was extremely important for me because I felt it was the key to why their relationship ultimately worked. Because MJ would bitch slap anyone who tried to throw their weight around with her. She would never be with Peter if he was the kind of person who would think he could make that decision for her. Peter still gets a voice, he still gets to raise concerns, but he recognizes that it's her decision and he will enable her to make it. It's a huge act of respect and one of the fundamental building blocks of the way I made MJ's relationship with Peter was that they mutually respected each other.

The other thing I wanted was to make them deeply messy fucking people. That's why MJ's so crude in this--it's a choice, and a big source of trauma. She grew up in hyper traditionalism. I grew up in hypertraditionalism, and you aren't supposed to know what a dick joke is. You aren't supposed to swear. you're supposed to be perfect and ladylike and daren't say a word if the men say something unseemly and you shan't repeat such dastardly things.

Anyway, I have a mouth like a sailor and wrote a porn fic to see if i could. purity culture doesn't work.

So MJ grew up where she was just boxed in to only appear as perfect and ladylike as possible, so she went the opposite direction and became as crude as possible. she likes pushing people's buttons. she will make comments about your ass. And that's deeply inappropriate behavior at times. With peter and ned? They're used to it. They've consented to it. It's part of why they love her, actually. But slapping matt's ass? he didn't give her the green light to touch him like that, and she definitely wouldn't have done it if she hadn't been drunk. In the end, he didn't care, so no ultimately harm done, but there could have been harm done and she doesn't exactly get credit for lucking out. it doesn't mean that she's a bad person, it's just that she's not a perfect person and she does dumb fucking shit at times--which, everyone does. She's extremely messy, oversteps boundaries, and it's a direct product of trauma. Peter ain't exactly perfect either. he's borderline suicidially reckless and has trouble ever letting people into his decision-making process. He'll risk himself eleven days out of ten before giving an inch, which was one of the reasons he's nearly fucking killed himself with his heats.

So it ended with these extremely messy, imperfect people who had to try again and again to keep loving each other. So many romances, especially in the superhero genre, stem from some kind of inexplicable chemistry instead of conscious choice. MJ and Peter could have burnt out and stopped loving each other. They worked hard not to. That's important.

So Peter became this character that had an extremely hard won love that would have been invalidated every single day by people who thought biological chemistry was superior to a decade of fighting to be together. like, the omegaverse? It's fucking weird about biological predeterminism in general. one of the premises that i set for myself when i decided to do this was that i had to keep everything from the omegaverse but if it was something that was fucking stupid, i would make it a part of the stupid things that people believe or just a part of the absolute most extreme moments like heats and ruts.

like, for example, guys in my family would always say "men drink because they like it, women drink because they don't like something else." that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard. do they think gender affects your fucking taste buds? also, have they ever thought for even half a second about the sheer number of men who are alcoholics and drink specifically as a coping mechanism? Women have better tasting drinks than men because someone randomly decided that beer was for men and fruity cocktails were for women, despite the fact that cocktails taste better and have stronger booze. it's the stupidest goddamn thing i've ever heard. but the world is full of dumb shit about biological predeterminism just like your fucking drink preference. So everything i hated in the ABO world just became that kind of thing.

So that thing in the ABO world? The thing where people just smell good and that means you're fated because you both smell really good to each other and, you know, you can base an entire relationship off smell? or the thing where you find someone of the opposite secondary gender and immediately they're the perfect alpha/omega for you and you're ready to do everything with them immediately upon meeting? That's present in this world. It's a dumb thing people tell Peter when trying to convince him and MJ that they'll never be happy with each other, and that some dumb fucking frat bro alpha can do more for them with goddamn body odor than a decade of dedicated love.

So Peter was never going to be able to get with Matt after hand-spun silk. Absolutely not. He's way too traumatized for that. If anyone suddenly developed feelings for him after years of platonic friendship when the most notable thing that changed was that they fucked due to a biological demand? He would never, in a million years, believe that they could have fallen for him because of his personality. He'd think it was just them deciding he made a good omega for them in bed and he'd leave deeply fucking hurt. Even if he realized he developed feelings for matt in the aftermath, he'd never trust any feelings matt developed to be real. Peter was in his right mind. matt wasn't. It would eternally fall into the same trap of "I was just play acting at being his obedient omega and that's what he was into."

Like, Matt too, for the record, just for different reasons. matt would have never gotten with Peter after hand-spun silk becuase he has a guilt complex the size of jupiter and he'd never in a million years make a move on peter after the guy just nuked his own life to save matt from dumbassery his twenty-something self willingly committed. No. He's going to crush everything down deep inside and then one day he'll die. And, honestly, I do think that would have been the right decision had Peter not liked him back.

One of the core distinctions i made between Peter and Matt's character is that Peter is really good at dealing with his emotions in a healthy way but is absolute shit at recognizing them. Matt's dumb as a fucking post about dealing with his emotions but tormented by his own awareness of them. So Peter's big problem is that he will be fully into someone and shuffle that away as something that's obviously not his own emotions, pshhhh. Matt, meanwhile, woke up after his rut, realized he had developed feelings fucking immediately, and then had a panic attack in the bathroom.

I'd like to go on record that neither of them developed feelings for each other because they fucked. it's because they, necessarily, had to be more intimate with each other than they would have ever been with like, their regular bro, and it made them realize that this person who'd they'd already die for is someone they'd really like to live for too. They had to go to bat for each other. Peter destroyed his own life to help matt. More than once, Matt fought through his hormones to try and give Peter an out because he'd rather he be hurt than Peter be hurt.

And, it's also the little shit. They talked a lot about things that they never would have talked about otherwise and realized how deeply they related to each other. they did a lot of little acts of intimacy, like when peter would scratch the base of Matt's neck because he liked it or when Matt would deny his impulses to help peter through anything. Neither of them really had to do that for the rut. They did it purely just as acts of caring, and those were the bits of each other that they got feelings for.

And those nice feelings would almost absolutely be crushed down forever in the aftermath of a rut. you'd have to drag them kicking and screaming to emotional realization. there's a lot of fucking work to put in before they can get past their own issues and realize that it's okay to give each other a shot.

I have a LOT of thoughts about the Johnny Storm debacle. It's going below, so if you're interested, read on. Some of it is what's outside of Peter's perspective and therefore not featured in hand-spun silk or chewing coffee. I doubt it will be able to make it into the fic, just because there's a lot that gets missed when you limit it to one character's perspective. There's still a chance it may come up, so there's a risk of spoilers.

The Johnny Storm thing is something that i think is a lot more nuanced than i was able to show. Part of it is that i made it up totally on the fly so it was very sloppy execution. Like, if you go back and read the Johnny parts of hand-spun silk? i shift the goal posts a LOT because i was still developing Peter's own character and figuring out how he would respond to all this. The other part of it is because this is totally from Peter's perspective, and so we have kind of a coke-bottle lens view of it.

See, the thing about the Johnny Storm thing is that i think it could have been a relatively minor speed bump in their relationship, and then circumstances, a few very poor choices, and plain bad luck blew it up into something major. I also think that Johnny Storm and Peter Parker would be great together, but that they could never work in an omegaverse specifically.

in the comics, i think they're fucking great together and make a fantastic ship. In the ABO world specifically, i think that Johnny would be ass over tea kettle in love with Peter, and Johnny would at best be a ship in the night for Peter.

Because the thing is, from Johnny's perspective, he was legitimately in love with Peter and did not ever want to hurt him.

I want to be clear, I'm not excusing the dumb shit he did. I have explanations for it, they're discussed below, but they're not excuses. He has to bear the blame all the same, but I think that it adds a little more nuance and makes it a little more tragic.

He was legitimately in love with Peter and it wasn't because of the rut in the same way Matt didn't get feelings for Peter because of the rut. Like, nothing about why Johnny fell for him had to do with the bits where Peter had to put on a show of being the perfect omega for him. Johnny actually really, truly loved him way better when he wasn't play-acting at being the perfect omega for him--which is why, at one point, Peter mentions that Johnny always made dumb fucking jokes during the rut and it would always snap him out of pretend and he'd instantly threaten to kick johnny's ass. Johnny really liked Peter's like, actual personality. He figured out early in their friendship that dumb fucking jokes always got a rise out of Peter, so he memorized them ahead of time and brought them up whenever he had enough sense to so he could get back to how Peter is normally, because that's the Peter he loved.

(which was another distinction I tried to draw between Matt and Johnny, incidentally. I decided to give Matt an identical moment in the rut where he was aware enough to realize that Peter was playing things up to cater to his hormones and try to get back to Peter's actual personality, which is the one that he actually had feelings for. However, Matt said directly to him that he was aware that he was putting on a show and let Peter consciously drop out of the headspace he had put himself into in favor of his genuine personality, whereas Johnny sort of tried to draw him out. Neither had any ill intentions behind it, but Matt's more consciously communicated with Peter.)

The thing about Peter is that he is the first partner Johnny ever had that treated him with the love and respect you'd give an actual partner, and they weren't even actually dating.

This entire thing has been a big mash up of the comics and the movies and the only rule is that I steal whatever i find funny. Like, Peter? I know most people think he's tom holland peter because of MJ and Ned, but his basis is actually comics Peter for me. Ned and MJ (and the Toomes plane crash) were the funniest fucking things from Homecoming for me, so I kept it. He has the key to the city like Tobey!Peter (because how the fuck do you explain having that, that's the most useless piece of decor over a guest can never see it) and a lot of the lines and personality i get from Andrew!Peter and most of the backstory and attitude is comics peter. Like, imagine whatever fucking Peter you want, I don't give a shit, I want everyone to have their own experiences with this fic, but all of the characters are really just a frankenstein, and Johnny is no exception.

Like the comics, he became a superhero when he was still a teenager, is the thing. He's been in the spotlight forever. Celebrity culture is fucking toxic as hell and he sort of was drowned in it young. Like, the thing in the movies, where he's dating an eternally changing supermodel who goes on live TV and announces that the most important thing about dating the human torch is fireproof lingerie? weird straight people celebrity bullshit. why would you ever fucking say that outloud to millions of people jesus christ. and it's all this johnny has ever really known, relationship-wise.

Like, it's give and take. He's not exactly a passive participant or victim or whatever. He likes having sex and has a lot of it (and there's nothing wrong with that). He fully wanted Peter Parker to be a notch on his belt and nothing more when they first met, and his expectation was that Peter Parker would be another person who wanted to happily fuck a celebrity--and then would probably post on Twitter a full review of how he was in bed, without ever asking Johnny and with Johnny never consenting to it.

So Johnny made the stupid fucking decision to roll up to Peter in a sports car to ask him if he could take Peter for a ride, and Peter immediately fucking laughed in his face, asked him if he thought dick size correlated with how stupid your car was, then proceeded to call MJ in front of him and heckle about it for seven minutes straight before walking off to catch the subway. this peter believes in eating the rich and was deeply unimpressed.

Like. johnny benefits from his public image, dont get me wrong. He gets a lot of hook ups because of his image and certainly isn't upset by this fact. But the standard that was set when he was very young and dating for the first time and getting his heart broken for the first time was that his body was public narrative and he was being used for his name and the publicity attached to it. he got fucked up by it. It was a long string of toxic relationships that usually ended up on the front page of a lot of tabloids--and that's how it always was and that's all he ever expected. his nudes get leaked without his consent and everyone acts like it's a completely okay thing on the person's part, and he should have known better and is at fault. his exes sell interviews. he gets photographed on his walk of shame and the person he hooked up with goes on ellen to reveal that he does perform oral. and i'm not going to say he was comfortable with any of that, he wasn't, he hated it, but he wasn't looking to change the status quo--partially because he didn't fully believe that the status quo would change, partially because he was having fun with hookups and wasn't looking to settle down (which, again--as long as both people go in knowing that's all it is, is not a bad thing). He'd always be johnny storm. There'd always be a price tag attached to intimate parts of his life, and a lot of fucking people would be more than happy to cash in.

Peter would rather rip out his own appendix than be publicly known as the person who risked getting set on fire to climb on Johnny Storm's dick, however.

So, for the first time, Johnny found himself in a relationship where the person was genuinely only in it for him. Peter didn't want the novelty of fucking a celebrity. He didn't want to go on a talkshow or go viral because he leaked a picture of johnny's dick. He rather violently and aggressively cared about Johnny and Johnny alone, actually. It was sort of Johnny's first experience ever, after years of dating in the public eye, where he was in a relationship where no one was looking to exploit him. The other thing was that they did this for a long time. This was a month they spent together, most of which didn't involve Peter having to play pretend because that wasn't necessary until right before the rut.

And from Peter's perspective, they did the same shit they always did, just with sex, so there wasn't any change. From Johnny's perspective, he got to spend a month in constant contact with someone who genuinely cared about him, was hilarious and ridiculous and one of the best fucking people he had ever met. Like, he loved that Peter brewed coffee with red bull. He thought it was ludicrous. He was in love with how ridiculous Peter was. So he found himself wanting to keep with it afterwards. he wanted his relationship to be with someone who genuinely cared about him and treated him with respect the way no one else had.

The problem was they were never in a fucking relationship in the first place, which was a slight wrench in the works.

There are three reasons why it blew up as bad as it did/why they would never work, and that's 1) outside forces, 2) privilege, and 3) just plain dumb immature love.

Outside forces:

This is the absolute biggest thing that I think sank them, and it's kind of sad in the sense that it was legitimately outside of Johnny's control. The media is the biggest one. If they got together, eventually, the news would get out. It would be chaos. Like. Johnny's an A-Lister, and a fucking superhero A-Lister. In the public eye, Peter's a total nobody. It would be rabid. It'd be like if every wattpad fanfic about one direction falling in love with some random girl from fucking iowa or whatever the trope is came true.

I could write an essay on how biological predeterminism and natural law resulted in like 97% percent of modern issues and inequality, but this is already too long for anyone to read. but the omegaverse would undoubtedly be 1000x worse about it, holy fucking hell. which means the way we treat women in our world? even worse in the omegaverse.

The public narrative fully thinks that he's a slut who will fuck any cape that looks at him twice. He's been considered a slut since before he even agreed to fuck Johnny. It was a given, and Peter knew that going into it. Like, no one had any illusions that the human torch was going to find a nice omega for his rut and settle down in holy matrimony before they so much as graze each other's hands god bless amen praise the lord jesus christ. The expectation is that whoever would be sharing the rut would just be doing it casually. that's PEAK slut behavior. Peter's a public whore from the start, and while it always bothered him, he didn't care about that nearly as much when there wasn't any chance people could find him or his loved ones.

If he actually ended up with Johnny? Nightmare situation. Jesus Christ, he'd never know peace. People would hate him and be jealous of him and psychoanalyze everything he ever did. he's queer. He's in love with MJ, a fellow omega. he drinks red bull with coffee and is a fucking mess. he wants zero children. Johnny's an alpha, and a superhero to boot. People would eternally expect him to be the perfect omega and it would not fucking work out.

And that's something that can be overcome, don't get me wrong. The important people in the relationship are teh ones actually in it. But it's a huge stressor factor, and It's one I don't think they could have overcome for other reasons.

The other big outside stressor is the Fantastic Four.

Full cop, I don't like Reed Richards. I think he's a dick. He is the only one i directly was trying to character assassinate. for the record? they were fully in the wrong for everything they did. But I think most of the shit they pulled arose from assumptions that would have been extremely likely had it been anyone other than Peter.

because from their perspective, they're trying to protect Johnny from what's already been the biggest violation of his life.

his private health information got leaked by people they hired, and it became a talk show matter. johnny was visibly tormented by it. they felt like shit and knew it was only going to get worse. he was going to live with whoever did this talking about his dick for a solid year after. it was going to be brutal if he ended up hurting whoever he fucked. they were in damage control mode. legally, NDAs around sex cannot be enforced (a lot of celebrities try to have them--it's just a scare tactic. not a court in the US would ever enforce one. it's legitmately impossible to make them binding, but i won't get into why). so whatever happens, it's almost definitely going to make the news.

Then, in strolls baby brother, having announced that he found an omega all on his own.

and it's a fucking reporter from the superhero slander newspaper. They were fully convinced that not only was peter doing this for fame, but this was basically a work assignment for him.

All of Peter's butting heads with them was him setting very healthy and necessary boundaries. From their perspective, it looked like he was trying to increase his bottom line.

He was forgoing all health precautions--because he refused to fuck their brother in a monitored room on videotape with eight medical professionals watching at all times and the EMTs and the fucking fire department in the next room listening to him get it on. he's got superhealing and a precognition for danger that let's him know when johnny's getting too riled up and he needs to calm him down or dodge a dick fire. From his perspective, danger is minimal and he isn't making a fucking sex tape or putting on a week-long peepshow for a bunch of total strangers.

The F4 saw a totally normal unenhanced human willing to get third degree burns inside of him if it meant that he'd get a bigger payout when he appeared on oprah.

Same thing with pregnancy. Peter demand a certain level of dignity from the proceedings. He was going out of his way and fucking a friend, their baby brother, exclusively for said friend's benefit. He gets the fucking dignity of not being treated like a cheap whore who needs to be monitored to make sure he's not going to baby trap someone he'd never be able to get otherwise. He was not going to let the Four watch him take the contraceptives or the pregnancy tests of his own free will, because that's fucking humiliating.

For the F4? Great, not only is Peter going to leak this all afterwards and break Johnny's heart, he's definitely going to be an eternal source of emotional devastation because he's looking to get a fucking child out of this that Johnny will forever be tied to.

And the problem was that it was all based on the assumption that Peter was doing this out of self-interest. And they don't get a pass for treating someone fucking terrible just because they thought he was going to hurt their baby brother down the line. But without the context that Peter was spider-man and a good person, it was the plainest thing in the world that he'd be leaking all of this. So the F4 became a huge source of stress and bad feelings that constantly hung over anything Johnny and Peter could have had.

Privilege

This is another thing where Johnny wasn't consciously trying to do something bad, but it is something that sort of made everything worse. Johnny's rich. A celebrity. Male. An alpha. White. He's about as privileged as you can possibly get.

And I think that it's important to note that that's not a source of fault, but it is a thing that you have to be aware of. And I didn't think Johnny would be aware of his privilege throughout this and it would make everything worse, simply because his privilege never really came into play with Peter.

Peter could not care less about whether or not Johnny was rich, or white, or an alpha. In fact, that's more likely to be an active deterrent than anything else. So Johnny walked in with the mindset of "this is someone who just cares about me for me. he doesn't care that i'm famous or rich or whatever. we just care about each other's actual selves." And that's true!

Doesn't take into account every fucking other person on the planet, though.

A lot of Johnny's fuck ups were directly sourced in the fact that he didn't consider his privilege. He sort of took this on with the mindset of the media being a storm they'd have to eventually weather together, if they did end up together. And he's used to that. He's been eternally in the public eye for years. It's hell, but it's something you can get through together. but he didn't consider that that storm would be extremely different for someone who had money, resources, clout, who wasn't an alpha, and also who wasn't at times in a publicly queer and interracial relationship.

The media storm for Johnny is horrible and invasive. For Peter, it's "hey, haha, is Someone Going To Kill My Entire Family." Johnny didn't even think about showing up on Peter's doorstep with roses, because he's never even goddamn had to pay rent before. it didn't even occur to him that this may make people come to try and kill Peter and his family (Peter's fucking Spider-Man--he's the last person in the world to worry about handling some random fangirl) and it didn't occur to him that it may put Peter in the very difficult position of not being able to afford to move. Johnny's already been to Peter's apartment before. So he didn't even think about how showing up with roses would end with months of serious agonizing stress for Peter.

And it's not an excuse, but it is an explanation and it is something that he has to learn from. Like, there's a lot of fuck ups i've unthinkingly done because i didn't even know it would be a fuck up. i've been privileged in ways I wasn't aware of and ended up with egg on my face. In Johnny's case, that wasn't a minor fuck up you learn from and move on from, it spiraled into something bigger than it otherwise might have been.

Immature dumb love

The last factor in why this went the way it did was simply because this was very much this Johnny's first real time being in love and he was sort of fucking stupid about it.

Like, Peter's lightyears ahead of Johnny when it comes to "being in love" maturity because he has intensive experience. He and MJ had to fight for their fucking lives figuring out how to navigate a relationship. Johnny's never once been in a real one that didn't come with the expectation of "hey so we're gonna fuck around for a while and in the end you're inevitably going to leak my dick pics and tell everyone that i'm good with my tongue and get a spot on a night show from it, and I'm going to feel embarrassed every time i leave my home for a while." Johnny's like. Early twenties. People in their early twenties have a vast fucking range of things they're really mature in and things they're total fucking dumbasses in. i'm 23 and i've got things i'm lightyears ahead of my peers in and things i'm like a toddler in. He's young and fucking stupid about some things, and in this case? He fell in love for the first time and blue screened completely.

he got butterflies and set himself on fucking fire on live TV at the mention of his crush, inadvertently starting a media frenzy. You could see his crush from fucking space. he had no idea how to handle doing this like an adult, because every other relationship started with making a pass and immediately hooking up. He tried that with Peter and Peter asked him if he thought dick size correlated with how stupid his car was he has no backup plan. So he just started choking on his own dumb feelings.

For the record? His intent was never to make Peter feel like he was less capable. He knows Peter is capable. But he got within twenty fucking feet of peter and ended up choking on his own panic and emotions like a school kid with a crush. So he just ended up hanging around his crush and fumbling around him and checking in with him way too often and being extremely conscious of how sweaty his palms are or how many times he asked Peter how he was doing in the span of one conversation, fuck that was too many this got weird.

But we don't see Johnny's internal reasoning. We see his actions through Peter. Who has spent his entire life being pushed down and treated like he's some helpless damsel when he's the most competent person in any room he's in. So everything gets filtered through a narrator who's not entirely reliable, and intentions get read in that aren't exactly there.

Johnny's plan when confessing his feelings was to try and handle it like an adult. He dressed up and got roses, because that's what Sue told him you do when you're trying to make a big romantic gesture. He was going to confess his feelings as best he could and respect Peter's decision no matter what.

.... And then he walked right into the knowledge that Peter was in that very moment fucking another alpha and got brutally kneecapped by his own disappointment. His entire plan got put on the off-step.

When Peter let him down, what was going through his head was that he was extremely disappointed and didn't want to put that on peter, so he wanted to give them space so Johnny could get over him and not impose his feelings on Peter unfairly. What came out was "let's not be friends for a while," which isn't actually what he meant but people don't say exactly what they mean in the moment a lot. He realized that after the fact, got panicked that he might have fucked up the best friendship he ever had, and then fucked up even worse by trying to fix it in the moment instead of respecting the words Peter was actively telling him. And that's still his fuck up, and he still needed to respect boundaries. But the reasoning wasn't "I don't see you as someone worthy of respect," it was "i'm in a panic spiral and making poor decisions."

The worst, most egregious thing Johnny did, and in my opinion the one that's the absolute hardest to forgive, was when he started a public fight with matt on the bridge where he directly talked about peter's fucking sex life in front of people.

Like holy fucking hell, that one there's no real valid explanation for. Like, i included it because comic book characters, especially Johnny Storm, are very impulsive and hotheaded and a lot of people do fucking stupid things in the heat of a bad moment. It was an act of total immaturity, jealousy, and the culmination of a lot of disappointment and bad feelings that resulted in him saying a lot of really fucking dumb things that he regretted immediately after he said them and has been absolutely torturing himself over ever since. And, once again, his regret doesn't excuse his actions, and it's up to peter as to whether he'll ever get forgiveness.

I think the entire Johnny Storm thing, under different circumstances, could have been minor. Johnny could have confessed his feelings, Peter could have turned him down. Johnny could have swallowed his disappointment and they would have moved on. But a lot of outside stressors, bad timing, and people being their worst selves resulted in Johnny fucking up with way worse effects than otherwise it could have been. His decisions are on him, don't get me wrong, but I think sometimes just plain bad luck can also lead us to being worse versions of ourselves. I will say that a lot of the harm he caused was unintentional, and he is actively in deep regret over it--and not because he lost out on a romantic partner, for the record. He regrets hurting the best friend he ever had, hurting someone who helped him at dear cost to himself, and potentially losing him forever.

#chewing coffee #this is very long due to who i am as a person #i wrote an extreme slow burn after having them fuck for eight chapters straight like i'm just long winded #i answer comments on the fic like this too it's ridiculous #why am i like this

[sanstropfremir]

OH DANG KANGTA COMEBACK? I NEED TO CHECK IT OUT

YES KANGTA COMEBACK FULL ALBUM AND I NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW IT'S A DEM JOINTZ TRACK!!!!!!! please watch his midlife crisis 90s it boy stage on mcountdown:

#the mv styling is not like this at all i have NO idea who made this choice here but i am obsessed with it #this mf hasnt been on a music show since probably the 2000s #he rocks up like the original 90s it boy he is and despite being 42 he looks better than every wannabe y2k 4th gen boy #most natural midlife crisis look i've ever seen #also the ending fairy pls. pls #i'd also recommend watching the mv for eyes on you bc the lighting design is very nice #also the mv for slow dance! that came out in like jan or something but it's also really nice #the album is so good btw literally could not have asked for anything better AND we finally got love song!!!!!! #kangta #text #answers #i literally just realized eyes on you is a dem jointz track i can't believe this #no fucking wonder i've been mainlining it directly into my system for the last three days like a goddamn lunatic #kangta has actually been releasing singles for the last year and change but he doesn't promote them at all #all he does is just post his lil music production vlogs on his youtube channel skdlfjsdfsfl

[foxcassius]

i have split my self-taught korean lessons into a Morning Block and an Evening Block. classes start monday evening and end friday morning. in the evenings, i do the textbook portion of an entire chapter of this book. takes like 30 mins and then i have to spend forever manually making quizlet flashcards bc this book has no online resources beyond the listenings. then i practice the flashcards a little, sleep, and wake up. in the morning, i practice the flashcards again and then i do the workbook portion of an entire chapter of the book. takes like 30-40 mins. then i usually take a nap. in this way, i am sleeping between almost every Session of my class to ingrain the information on my brain, and am completing 4 chapters per week, which is great because i already know the content of like every single one of these chapters atm and just need to get through them to get to the stuff i dont know. i would say the most valuable asset this book is providing me is the structured vocabulary lists since amassing vocabulary is the hardest part of learning a language, for me. i also think the workbook is deeply useful. i kind of wish there were more workbook pages per chapter. because putting the language to use is the best form of practice. and as such, the thing my self-taught korean lessons is lacking the most is conversation in korean with other humans.

#if i tried to converse with jiwon in korean he would talk too fast he always does idk why he does that. #i understand that i need to get used to how people really talk but i'm literally just starting. chill. slow down. #and i dont want to make him go Teacher Mode bc he's not my teacher and also? i do not vibe with his teaching style #every time he tries to teach me something or answer one of my questions it goes crazy out of hand and i cry idk why #and also yesterday i saw him teaching jenni's class a little and also did not like how he was teaching her #obviously if she likes it that is her business but i would die if that was my class #so anyway. i am thinking of picking up lessons that are purely conversational. like i send the vocabulary lists for the week to #my tutor and then we have slower and easier conversations about the trivial topics in the textbook so i can start to practice #like i guess my thing is if i asked jiwon to have a conversation with me that used month/day negatives locations easy adjectives and verbs #he would 1) use a bunch of conjugations i dont know and then spend 20 mins explaining them to me #and 2) use the tone of voice he uses when he speaks easy korean to me that feels very very pandering and is usually fine #but makes me feel really dumb when he uses it while im trying to study #so i just want to avoid speaking to him in korean until i am fluent basically because i always feel really dumb when i try #i know this is impossible but its still what i want. #t

[cyancherub]

pls i am so sorry if i dont respond to some things its not intentional i feel so bad BC I KNOW theres a lot of stuff i dont reply to but this is whats going on in my inbox EJHFHG

#I FEEL BAD FOR LEAVING U GUYS HANGING SOMETIMES #I AM SORRY I LOVE U AND I LOVE THE MESSAGES BUT I AM VERY SLOW AND BAD AT ANSWERING THINGS HOWEVER #I DO LOVE TO RECEIVE THEM !!!!!! #IF U SEND ME SMTH AND I DONT RESPOND JUST KNOW I SEE IT AND I M SENDING U A KISS #talky cherub #SORRY I KNOW I SAY THIS A LOT IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ANY TYPE OF WAY I JUST HAVE A GUILT COMPLEX ABT NOT RESPONDING TO EVERYTHIGNEHGHE so #I NEED TO SAY THIS.ok goodbye now

[aph-japan]

Me: (*wakes up to an Ask for the first time in ages*) Me: Wait, did I forget to turn Asks off somewhere?? (*It's someone asking to buy one of my old J-fash pieces*)

#chai blog #aphjapan #angelicmanda #chai posts #chai personal #(OK Listen) #(I genuinely dont mind someone inquiring politely) #(but I am *very not interested* in answering Asks about this right now) #(please do not inquire about any more current or former pieces of my wardrobe thankyou) #(I still plan to wear them because I intended to wear my wardrobe *daily* *when I had more chances to be out*) #(and then a whole p@ndemic hit SO) #(Like yes Im not as active over there now but it doesnt mean im not still wearing my pieces where I can OK?) #({Id appreciate if ppl considered following here or my other active sides if theyre going to inquire abt that}) #(Mainly im just grateful it wasnt another sp@mbot after the x10+ sp@m Ask I had gotten before that but Yes) #(I also know I need to add this to the F. A. Q ive just been Slow and Tired)

[vandijkwrites]

sorry if you've already answered this 700 times, in which case totally feel free to ignore. but how do you lengthen your attention span? is it as simple as watching/reading progressively longer things?

First of, I am by no means an expert, but I'm happy to help as much as I can! There are a lot of great articles, books, and podcasts on the topic if you want any further info.

The most important thing to realize is why are attention spans are getting worse:

Information overload and distractions make it difficult to focus. (Ex. social media and text notification going off while you are doing other tasks)

Intentional multitasking gets your brain used to doing more than one thing at once so it becomes very difficult to make it do only one thing (Ex. having the tv on in the background while doing other tasks)

Consuming a lot of media focused on having minimal downtime and immediate gratification decreases our patience and ability to do slower tasks (Ex. watching a lot of action packed movies and short TikToks)

Getting constant small hits of dopamine from social media decreases our ability to do tasks that don't give us dopamine hits (Ex. getting likes from a post or messages from friends)

The solutions to most of these come down to two things: (1) Do only one thing at a time (2) Limit distractions from that task (3) Reduce immediate gratification

So some example of ways to do that would be:

Read a book without your phone being on hand to distract you.

Watch TV without multitasking.

Reduce time on social media, especially social media focused on short videos.

Spend a day or part of a day without technology.

Spend time with friends without looking at your phone.

Watch slow-form content like unedited lecture or panel videos where people are just speaking at their normal pace without cutting pauses.

Listen to music albums all the way through instead of shuffling and skipping.

Eat meals without multitasking (ie mindful eating)

Make yourself a cup of tea and sit on a park bench or by the window and watch some birds.

People-watch at the coffee shop.

Write long emails or letters to friends and family instead of short texts.

Call and have a conversation with a loved one without multitasking.

Meditate.

Take a walk and enjoy nature.

Don't scroll through your phone while waiting in a line.

Read long posts when you come across them on your dashboard.

Have an ebook on your phone to read whenever you would normally scroll through social media.

Don't go on your phone/online for a certain amount of time before bed.

If you are having trouble doing these things, try to do one tasks but increase the stimuli of that task. For example, read a book while listening to the audiobook at the same time. Or listen to music while watching a lyric video. These are great baby steps!

Another great baby step is (like you said in your question) doing things for progressively longer amounts of time! Set a timer for a certain number of minutes and then read without distraction for that amount of time. That way it won't feel like it is never ending and you can track your progress.

Obviously not all of these will be for everyone and some of these are too hard for people with ADHD or serious attention issues, but they are a good place to start!

I hope that helps 💕

#my text posts #my replies

[007reid]

187. spencer reid (18+)

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: you're dealing with a dumb, whiny boy and you are wondering where your boy genius went.

warnings: 18+, sub!spencer & dom!reader, dumbification, whining, whimpering, overstimulation, handjob, orgasm denial, begging..you know the rest ;)

a/n: this is a result of too much ai spencer tiktok edits....wrote in a rush on my phone late at night but that's how fanfiction are meant to be written. enjoy angels <3 requests are open if anyone want to drop by!

“okay spencer, this is an easy one. can you answer it for me baby?" you pause expectantly, and it takes him a while, but spencer only mewls in response, frustrated. "what states are next to louisiana?”

you see spencer’s eyebrows slowly pent up in thought but then he immediately gives up in lieu of letting out another pathetic moan, bucking up uselessly to your fingers. “answer the question baby," you prod sweetly, kissing your words into his cheek.

“i-hnfgg…” he pants breathlessly, eyes shut tight and when they flutter open, they are round with plead. “please, it hurts so bad, please let me cum i—“

you let go of his cock entirely and he whines, trying to shuffle closer so that you would touch him. in response you move away further, smirk at your lips. “be a good boy for me and i will.”

“i am being a good boy for you!” spencer whines, his eyes blown with need and watering, body writhing pathetically against the sheets. his dick is flushed an angry red and you know he’s only several strokes away from coming undone, being so closely attuned to your boy. “i’m being good i—“ his words hitched in his throat as you gently caress only the tip of his cock, teasing.

“the good boy i remember is super smart,” you slide up to him, pressing a leering kiss on his jaw. “the guy has an iq of 187. can you believe that? how rare is that?”

spencer doesn’t answer, his pleas and whines soft and stuck in his throat as he keeps trying to buck up his hips to get more of your touch, but with no avail. “hm? how rare is it spence?”

“i don’t know!” he cries, tears leaking and wetting his pretty lashes. “i—please it hurts so bad, just please let me cum i’ll do anything, please!”

“answer me and i’ll let you cum baby boy,” you say smoothly, removing your hand from him (which elicited a very impatient groan) to spit on your palm before going back again, moving your hand up and down his shaft deliberately slow. you know it drives him crazy, even crazier than he is right now and you soak in the satisfaction of it. “how many people has your kind of genius spence? hm?" you add encouragingly. "get this one right for me and i’ll let you cum baby.”

“i…uhh….” he's slow, and even slower with your hand working and overstimulating his already-sensitive cock. “one out of every hundred million people. 1000 who ever lived,” he finally decides to peel open his eyes again, searching your face for any hint of approval. as a response you flick up your wrist quickly and he nods his head back, an obscene and needy moan coming out of his mouth.

“and the states surrounding louisiana?”

his head snaps back immediately and stares at you in betrayal, like a kid being scammed out of his cookie, completely flustered and debauched. “you said one question!”

“i changed my mind baby,” you soothe, pressing an apology kiss in the corner of his mouth. “the faster you are the faster you get to cum. do you want to cum honey?”

“yes! yes i wanna cum so bad,” he cries, hands coming up to rest lightly at your waist and you can feel the tremble in them. the heavy feeling at the pit of his stomach has been there for at least half an hour now and you’ve just been toying with it, reliving it then bringing the pressure back. now he’s an absolute mess, curly hair sprayed on the pillow and stuck to his forehead, his pretty, delicate face ruined with tear stains, but it just makes him prettier. he’s completely at your mercy, writhing and whimpering and begging you to do something about his looming orgasm and you denying him of it.

“then answer the question baby boy,” you murmur encouragingly in his ear, fingers still teasing him. he’s so sensitive and overstimulated to the point that a single touch can make his entire body jump, so you are careful. too much and he might actually loose it, and you both know this. “you remember it, right spence?” you press, "the question?"

“hnngg,” he whimpers when you start biting on the lobe of his ear, grabbing and squeezing onto the sheets for dear life. “umm…arkansas and… i-i don’t know,” he admits shamefully, then desperately tries to make up for it. “but i got the first one! you said if i get it i could cum. i’ve been such a good boy for you, just this one time, please!” he begs, not in control of what he says anymore and it shows. he’s completely delirious and fucked stupid, and you take pity on him.

“aww, my sweet boy,” you coo sweetly, running your fingers through his messy mop of hair and pulling it away from his face for him. “i’m sorry angel, but if you can’t get it right, you don’t get to cum,” you whisper faux apologetically in his ear. you see when spencer’s eyes widen with horror, and the tears begins to fall freely.

“please,” he begs, his fingers pleadingly reaching out to try to touch you, convince you to change your mind. it’s a foolish and naive attempt, and he knows it too but can’t help taking his chances. he’s desperate for anything. “please, i’ll be so good for you. i’ll be your best boy. i promise. i swear. it hurts so bad y/n please, i cant take it—“

“fine,” you give in, only because you know for a fact that he can't last any longer. really, you're surprised he's managed to make it this long so far; you had already planned his punishment in your mind. your boy deserves his reward.

you speed up your movements and the sounds coming out of his mouth becomes wanton, sobs becomes louder and his whines a pitch higher and he’s strung high like a violin string, ready to snap. “cum for me, pretty boy.”

at your command his body gives out obediently, thick strings of cum spitting out of his cock, painting your hand and his hips, coating at his thighs. he twitches and his thighs tremble weakly as small blurts of cum starts to collect at the tip of his cock and you kiss him during all of it as he cries against your lips. he pants hard, and when you accidentally swipe a finger over him, he whines painfully and inches out the way, sore. when it’s over, he collapses into you, spent.

“thank you,” he says, sounding genuinely grateful, his voice muffled and his face buried in your shoulder. you laugh, fingers smoothing out the mess of his hair, pulling his head back and pressing kisses all over his face. spencer needs the aftercare, especially after being edged on for so long, needs the love and the assurance and the cuddles afterwards. "i love you."

"and i you," you say, smiling when he whines predictably, unsatisfied.

"you gotta say the whole thing," he says, looking mildly upset, lips jutting out and giving you the fattest, most foul and adorable pout, eyes big and searching.

"'m sorry," you weave your fingers with his, and he presses a kiss against your knuckles. "i love you."

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