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ryukatters · 6 months

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it's your fault for loving me — y. okkotsu ⁺˚⋆｡°✩

⟡ pairing: yuuta okkotsu x fem!reader

⟡ cw: /DARK CONTENT, /yandere! yuuta, /dubcon, /NONCON, ex-bf!yuuta, stalking, he breaks into your apartment, he /manhandles you (he’s strong), /implied babytrapping, /possessiveness, MINORS DNI

⟡ wc: 2.9k (someone sedate me)

⟡ song inspo: language by brent faiyaz

⟡ summary: Your ex boyfriend breaks into your apartment. What do you mean he needs to leave? He’s staying right here.

The slow, muffled drag of your feet ricochet off the hallway walls as you trudge along to your apartment. You fumble with your keys for a little bit, but find no resistance as you insert it into the slot.

“Huh, that’s odd…I could’ve sworn I locked it.”

You chalk it up to exhaustion. You're only practically ever home to sleep due to the way you've been throwing yourself onto mission after mission. Even now, sleep is a luxury you can barely afford. You kick off your shoes lazily, not bothering putting them in their rightful place on the shoe rack.

Maybe before, you would have cared more about keeping the house tidy. Or maybe before, your loving boyfriend would pamper and coddle you the minute you opened the front door, so you never had to worry about the little details like putting your shoes in the right place.

You were exhausted.

You wanted nothing more than to wash up and plop down onto your soft, soft bed. You don’t even make it to your bedroom door before you pause, anxiety prickling your nerves.

You sense him before you see him. Yuuta’s cursed energy has always had a tendency to seep out whenever he was around you. Whether it’s a testament to how he’s able to fully relax in your presence or a display of raw power, you’re not sure.

"You're home," a certain black-haired sorcerer chirps. "How was your mission?"

In the past, simply hearing Yuuta’s voice would be enough to melt away the pent up stress from a hard day of exorcizing curses. It’d soothe your aching muscles and tired soul as you let yourself be enveloped by the weight of his affection. But right now, it did everything except that.

The shiver of excitement that used to run down your spine is replaced by trepidation caused by the only person who used to be able to comfort you.

You know better than to ask how he knew you were on a mission, much less ask how he managed to break into your apartment. It seems he's been in here for a while, with the way he seems to have made himself at home on your bed, much like the way he used to before.

"Why are you here?"

The question makes him sit up.

“Because I missed you. Is that so bad?”

You want to laugh. The whole situation is all sorts of fucked up, and the two of you are talking about it the same way one would the weather.

“Yuuta, we broke up 2 months ago,” you press, vexation lacing your words. You could never imagine yourself using that tone on him. Yuuta’s always been so meticulous in loving you, in making sure you were happy. He’s never given you a reason to be upset with him. But that was then, and this was now.

You could say whatever you wanted to say. You were tired and definitely not in the mood to deal with a supposed burglar that happens to be in the form of your ex-boyfriend.

“I don’t remember agreeing to that,” he says simply.

“You walked out on me!”

“Because I thought you needed some space. And now I’m back. But I never said we were breaking up.”

Space was an extremely generous term for what Yuuta gave you. If you could consider watching your every move from a distance, keeping tabs on who you talk to, and making sure you stay out of trouble secretly, “space.” He would never let you know that though. It’s too much, too soon.

He couldn't help it, not when his precious baby could get hurt. He’d never forgive himself if that happened.

“Come and sit, my love. You look so tired.” He pats the space next to him. You will your heart not to flutter at the familiar nickname.

Your body moves before your brain can catch up. It’s almost like listening to him was muscle memory. You pause in your step, cross your arms, and glare at him.

“Leave, Yuuta. I don’t want to see you.” The words rise from the very depths of your soul and spill out of your mouth like bile, burning and spiteful. It hurts to speak to him like this, even after he’d abandoned you with no hopes of return.

“Sit, love.” A little more demanding this time. “I’m not repeating myself again.”

The tension in the air is palpable, so thick you can cut it with a knife.

You take a seat. Yuuta doesn’t miss a beat before he has his hands on you.

“Missed you,” his hand reaches out to cup your jaw, thumb rubbing against the plushness of your cheek.

You’ve always been so soft, it’s one of the things Yuuta loves the most about you.

You flinch. Blame it on the adrenaline coursing through your body like wildfire. Your fight or flight response is shot. Yuuta’s touch seems to rewrite everything that’s been hardwired into your brain.

He presses a chaste kiss to your temple, before moving down to kiss the tip of your nose, and both of your cheeks. Each press of his lips leaves feels like it’s being seared into your flesh, a metaphorical branding iron of sorts— to show that you’re Yuuta’s and Yuuta’s only.

Your mind goes blank when he sucks a kiss into the side of your neck, whimpering pathetically as he grazes his teeth along the sensitive skin.

“We can’t do this,” you assert, but the words get stuck in your throat, so it comes out more as a whiny sigh. Your body seems to have a tendency to betray you when it comes to him.

“But we can,” Yuuta coos, pushing you down until your back is flat against the mattress. He takes both of your hands in his, lifting them up until they’re above your head, effectively pinning you in place. “We’re doing it right now, aren’t we?”

Yuuta can appear pretty unassuming to outsiders. He’s quiet, reserved, almost meek. If one were to take a closer look, however, they’d realize that beneath that unostentatious front was a more commanding aura, one that forces you to submit to his whims with his sweet tongue and sensuous touches. Perfectly calculated, perfectly executed.

"I fucking hate you,” you spit, thrashing against his hold, but to no avail.

"No you don't,” Yuuta shuts you down with conviction. Like it’s the absolute truth— the kind that can’t be twisted or broken. It almost feels like he’s chastising you for thinking otherwise. “Take that back right now.”

To be honest, hearing those words stung more than any physical blow you could have ever landed on him. Has he not shown you enough love? Or have you already forgotten?

Isn’t what you have pure love?

A hand wraps around your neck, lithe fingers inching up before they grip your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “I said,” blunt fingernails digging into your skin, “take it back.”

You sputter out an apology with teary eyes, an odd mix of humiliation and regret seeping into your bones, stomach swirling with shame and to your horror, a tinge of anticipation.

It’s pathetic, really, how easily you give in.

“Now give me a kiss, sweetheart.” Yuuta bridges the gap between the two of you. He presses his already throbbing bulge against your clothed pussy, moaning into your mouth appreciatively.

You feel so dizzy you think you might explode.

Yuuta makes quick work of the buttons on your uniform, releasing your wrists so he can throw the offending garment and all your underthings beneath it to some random corner of the room.

Calloused hands roam your body, squeezing and groping, as if to map out the cartography of your flesh, committing each peak and valley to memory. He watches in fascination how your skin bristles with goosebumps in the wake of his touch.

He ignores your pleading cries and attempts to push him off. Yuuta is being driven by pure instinct alone. That sick, twisted voice in his head that he’s always tried to suppress whispers. It goads him on to take what he wants, to make sure you remember that you’re his, and his alone.

He knows that you haven’t been seeing anyone. You were always so loyal, even when you were upset with him. Anyone who did try was taken care of the minute they left your sight.

It’s been far too long since he’s had you. His desire fills him with a sort of quiet rage, one that metamorphoses into something darker, more sinister and morose the longer he goes without you. Almost like a curse that’s gone far too long without feeding.

Yuuta Okkotsu loves you to the point of madness.

He thinks he might literally implode in on himself any second longer without you.

It’s almost laughable how different the two of you are. An ethereal beauty too good for this world, yet here you were in between the legs of a cursed man with too much love than he knows what to do with.

“Yuuta, please,” you cry out. You flail your legs in an attempt to kick Yuuta off. He catches both with ease, throwing them over his shoulder to slide your bottoms off, leaving you completely bare.

He can’t suppress the groan that tumbles past his lips. You’re even more beautiful than he remembers.

You’re dewy eyed and gasping, nails clawing at his forearms and beating at his chest in a last ditch effort to stand your ground. Nothing can deter him.

Yuuta could easily heal himself if he wanted to. But the angry red welts and blossoming hues of purple on his pale skin are a badge of honor of the utmost prestige. It’s undeniable proof that you’re real, that his love for you isn’t just a fragment of his imagination, and that none of this was just some pipe dream. He could take a little pain if that meant you got to be his.

He’s always been yours without any reservations.

“You can cry if you want, if it helps,” he says genuinely, but the gleam in his eyes shifts into something predatory. “But you should know you’re really fucking wet.” As if to prove a point, he slowly fucks his middle finger into your weeping hole, then his index, then his ring. They curl up to rub against that spongy spot just the way you like.

You let out a sharp gasp, spine arching off the mattress.

You tried to ignore him—detach yourself from the whole situation, let him get his fill, and be done with this whole ordeal. But it’s Yuuta— the man has a grasp on both the corporal and spiritual parts of you that you can’t bring yourself to understand. It seems like he knows you better than you know yourself sometimes. And right now, he’s managed to make a home in all five of your senses. There’s no escape. He's made sure of that.

He pulls out his fingers with a lewd squelch. A clear sheen of liquid coats every digit, stringy as he parts them to show you. He smiles knowingly.

“You keep fighting me, but it turns out you want it after all, sweetheart.”

Your cheeks burn in humiliation. Whether it’s from the situation at hand or the truth behind his words, you’re not too sure.

“Don’t you know?” Yuuta rasps, fingers going back to work their way inside you rhythmically, bringing you closer and closer to the precipice, paying special attention to how you try to mask how your face contorts in pleasure.

He presses his forehead against yours, willing you to look at him wordlessly. “I know what’s best for you. I know what you want. And right now, this little pussy wants to be fucked. Isn’t that right, my love?”

He’s met with a breathless moan. You’re so close. Tears threaten to fall as your chest heaves in exertion, trying not to teeter off the edge too soon.

You look so pathetic it’s insane. Yuuta swears he can feel his mouth water in anticipation for what’s bound to come next. He thrusts his fingers with calculating speed and precision, the heel of his palm slapping against your neglected clit just right.

He leans down right when you cum, lips catching yours as you moan into his mouth. Satisfaction swells in his chest as your slick drips down his wrist.

“You’re ready.”

Yuuta unbuttons his pants, pulling it down just enough for his cock to spring free, tip slapping his abdomen as it leaks with precum. He fists it, jerking his hand up and down his length. He slaps it against your clit once, twice, and a third time before he slips it inside your weeping hole.

Your walls spasm around his cock to accommodate his sheer size and girth, struggling a bit more than usual. You feel so full. It’s been far too long since he’s fucked you. You claw at his lower abdomen, trying to make space between the two of you. It’s all too much, all at once. Yuuta won’t have it. He slips his hands under your sweaty thighs, pinning your ankles on either side of your head, effectively folding you in half. You cry out at the stretch.

“Always take me so well, angel.”

He sets a steady pace, dragging his cock in, pulling out, and then back in with an absurd amount of force. The sound of skin on skin ricochets against your bedroom walls like a sort of cacophonous symphony. You don’t get the luxury of the sweet, slow thrusts he usually blesses you with, while he coos about how good you are for him.

“Where’s all that attitude from earlier? Am I making you feel that good?”

You glower, refusing to acknowledge the fact that your body betrays your mind— that Yuuta’s bringing you closer and closer to nirvana the further he drags you down into hell.

He slides his hand down your tummy, rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts.

“Yuuta—!” You clench around his length, hurtling towards your second orgasm quickly.

“You’re so greedy. Cumming again already?”

He’s met with silence. He’ll forgive your transgressions this time around. He’ll just have to teach you how to be his good girl again.

A particularly rough thrust has you choking back a moan.

“Thought so. Cum for me, sweetheart.”

Your peak hits you like a crashing wave. Your body tenses, leaving you gasping for air as you clench around Yuuta’s cock. You cry out deliriously, falling apart as Yuuta continues to pound into you. It’s too much, but you can’t pull away even if you tried. You’re stuck.

“I’m the only one that can make you feel this way, understand?” He grits his teeth, staving off his release just a little longer. He fucks you through your orgasm thoroughly as he chases his own.

He presses all of his body weight on top of you, your legs on either side of his head as he folds you into a mating press. He groans at the change in position, allowing him to fuck into you even deeper.

Realization cuts through your cloudy judgment like a sword.

“Yuuta— Yuuta, please. Pull out–!”

Your pleas fall on deaf ears. He’s rambling now, intoxicated by all you have to offer, yet you’re the one paying the price. The effects of overstimulation are taking over now, your body twitching involuntarily with each thrust.

“I’m not leaving you, ever. It’s just you and me.”

You shake your head in objection, mind too hazy to voice out any resistance. Tears well up, threatening to spill from your lash line.

Yuuta nods with a grin, canines glinting, just like a predator that’s caught its prey. “It’s true, sweetheart. I’ll make sure of it. Say I’m it for you. That I’m the only one.”

“Say it.”

“You’re it for me, Yu. The only one.” You babble, tears streaming freely now.

You feel the moment he reaches his plateau— the way his dick twitches inside of you right before your walls are being painted white with splashes of Yuuta’s hot cum.

Your fate’s been sealed.

He fucks into you a few more times, heavy balls slapping against your ass as he rides out his orgasm. A white ring wraps around the base of his cock, the copious amounts of seed he’s poured into you threatening to leak out.

Yuuta doesn’t bother pulling out. In a quick show of dexterity and freak strength, he manages to flip the both of you so that your positions are switched, with you lying on top of Yuuta’s chest. The steady beat of his heart fills your mind.

Your entire body is on fire. You feel numb. You let yourself be carried away by the prospect of sleep, hoping that you’ll wake up to find that this was all just some wild fragment of your imagination.

He presses a hand against your head, like he was afraid you’d pull away and ruin whatever fantasy he’s deluded himself into believing.

The simple truth is– Yuuta Okkotsu loves you. And he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that no one else gets in the way of that.

He runs his hand up and down your bare back lovingly, admiring your spent form. You’ve always been so soft. So pliant, so willing to give in to his desires.

It’s the thing that Yuuta loves most about you.

a/n: i had to reupload bc this hellsite sucks. hopefully this shows up in the tags now

tagging @princess-okkotsu again hehe

#i do not wish to be perceived #yuuta x reader #yuuta x you #yuuta x y/n #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuuta okkotsu x you #yuta x reader #yuta x you #yuta x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x you #/dubcon tw #/noncon tw #/babytrapping tw #/yandere tw #/stalking tw #/possessiveness tw #kat’s writing #kat’s demon time

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somecunttookmyurl · 2 years

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my boyfriend is not any flavour of queer. he says he "wishes he was" because queer people "just seem to understand the world so much" by which i assume he means we by default actually consider society wrt sex and gender, but he is unfortunately both cis and het. he's checked.

he carries around a copy of "the little book of lgbtq" in his backpack at all times in case he needs to look something up.

a good chunk of his youtube history is queer history / queer media / 'what it's like to be x' videos. he thinks all of you with the less famous identities (ie not the L G B or T) are very cool and funky and hopes you have a good day.

he knows he's straight because he has kissed men on several occasions and was not into it sexually. one of those times was a gay dude who promised to buy him drinks all night in exchange for a kiss and my boyfriend is nothing if not a wee whore. one of the others was kissing his gay friend who was depressed about not being able to hook up with anyone, because he is a very sweet wee whore.

he would do it again because he is very neutral on the kiss itself (not into it, but not grossed out by it. it's just a kiss, innit) and because he doesn't want people to be so lonely and sad that they cry in the smoking area of the club.

#i still think he has some gender fuckery going on that he hasnt unearthed yet #he grew up in a very MEN! ARE! MEN! community and is very insecure about his masculinity #he WANTS to be perceived as male but to the extent he frequently laments not being able to wear certain things bc they are 'too feminine'#and thinks women get cooler clothes than men #i mean we do but also you can just wear them it's goth attire its basically gender neutral by default #he started wearing (black) nail polish as a regular thing after we met and is just now branching out to other colours #he gets hit on by gay/bi men a lot which is funny bc he's always like #'i'm so sorry i WISH i was but i simply am not you are very handsome though'

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pierrotgnome · 9 months

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hi :o)

#actual clown getup for once 🤡#for clown appreciation week of course #my face #need to do more clown looks tbh . need my nose to be fun and stripey all the time #will i keep this up and let my presence be perceived or delete this in an hour? we'll see #in hindsight wish i had less green on my nose but ya live and learn #clown #t4t clown. can anyone hear me

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fellshish · 1 year

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#jibcon #cockles #i do not even wish to perceive it!#jackles

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adelinamoteru · 2 months

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purely fanon jason vent below so feel free to ignore

every other fic in the jason todd tag whether its romantic or platonic or whatever just has to include something about the no kill rule or him giving up killing like is it not enough ! have we not hashed out this argument enough already ! can I not read some jason content without having to be randomly bombarded by the morality police and how “oh jasons not killed anyone for x amount of months thats great! we knew u could do it jay”

and I wish I was just joking like I really do but I have scoured the tag almost from top to bottom and it always, without a doubt, has to come up at some point. its his fucking defining character trait apparently. mind u he’s not even the only dc character that kills but yall just won’t let it go! I do not need jason giving up his stance on killing to be written out for me to be able enjoy content about him

and whether its included so that his relationships with other characters can be viewed as ‘realistic’ is just so. what does it matter. its already fan-fiction who the hell cares about justifying the universe that you’re choosing to write him in

#jason todd #dc #red hood #dcu #pls do not interact if u have issues with jasons stance on vigilantism or whatever bc this is rlly not my point #idc whether u hate him for it or not to each their own #I just wish it wasn’t treated as some sort of stain on his character that needs to be addressed in every fic he appears in or else he —#cant be liked or something #like thats a topic that has to be addressed for my love of jason todd and his character and the love other charas have for him to be valid #its giving ‘jason u cannot be loved the way that u are’#and this reiterates the point I made in a previous post about how ppl genuinely dont know how to perceive this conflict and its resolution #the other way around #and how bc of that its always jason who has to be portrayed as making amends or taking a knee #there are so many interesting facets to jason todd so why does it always have to circle back to this one thing #why is it that hes one of the only charas ive seen where a certain plot point can never be looked past when enjoying him in fandom

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possession1981 · 1 year

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CUTIE YEJI fancam moments for @awek-s belovedest’s birthday 💕💕

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charmedreincarnation · 2 months

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Stalking my own tumblr to see how y’all perceive me 😒😒

#I do not wished to be perceived #I’m just a girl 😋

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somnimagus · 1 year

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Ohh if MoM would let me this is still The Ideal Team I would assemble based on who's the funniest to watch run

#kingdom hearts #melody of memory #fan art #my art #terra surrendering to his own pants like an anchor to sea. very distracting to watch #also hello i am new to tumblr reposting my stuff from twitter #didn't realize that would mean looking through my older stuff. this is the oldest one i still like #it's... it's from jan 2021. i do not wish to perceive the passage of time #i forget i draw things but also feel like i drew it all yesterday at the same time #but anyway time to see if i posted this right. promise i won't let the tags enable my rambling too much in the future haha #just having a lot of thoughts looking through old stuff today

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the-yearning-astronaut · 4 months

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I wish I could be agender the way Murderbot is agender. Right down to the lack of biological sexual characteristics. So agender that the term agender comes with too much associated gender to accurately apply. You know what I mean?

#help the dysphoria is kicking my ass again today and everything about me looks and feels wrong #demigirl still feels like it is applicable but also i wish i was more masculine but NOT in that way only THIS way #am i uncomfortable with my curves because of internalized fatphobia? because of the association with being feminine? both?#is it my actual curves themselves or is it the very reality of having a physical body that will be gendered some way no matter what i do?#i hate it I hate all of it #Murderbot #agender #gender #gender dysphoria #body dysphoria #dysphoria #fox thoughts #'maybe if i dress more masculine that will help'#nope no thats still leaning into gender #how do i do both at once so that they cancel each other out?#i don't want to be masculine but i don't want to be female lite™ either #I don't want to be perceived as having any gender at all and its not fucking possible #fuck i don't even want to deal with pronouns 80% of the time and i don't care for my name either #why does physically existing suck so bad sometimes #☉

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lukabby · 1 year

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Now we are all answering the Most Important Question: if you did have the chance, would you be a WAG (genderless)? Considering the lifestyle, media attention, expectations, etc.

#My answer is no #Any type of media attention for me would be insufferable I do not wish to be perceived by the world #Sure I would love to get some footballer dick but the cost that it entails?? Not Worth It for me <3 #Anyways Im curious to know your answers!!

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dulcewrites · 2 days

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I think the thing that shocks me the most about the discourse, if you can even call it that, around book Alicent vs show Alicent, is the idea that people think book Alicent had full autonomy over all her choices and she wasn’t a “victim” like show Alicent.

Now first, I put victim in quotations bc the way people who do not like her have almost bastardized that word. Alicent is a victim, and those things (rape, abuse, neglect) were done to her. That says everything about the men who did that do her and nothing about her. But people are hellbent on throwing Alicent, a woman in a violently patriarchal environment, being victimized back at people as if it is moral flaw of hers. Which is just terribly ironic bc the same folks who say Alicent “did it to herself” or “deserves what she is getting” also seem to think the crux of the story isn’t about generational trauma catching up with itself, how far people will go for power, or even how all girls and women are harmed - albeit to different degrees. But more the fact that Rhaenyra is the only woman to be harmed - and the only harm done is not getting the throne easily. Those same people wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that Rhaenyra is also a victim in the way they shit on Alicent for being. From the father who sets her up fail, to the baby daddy that’s been eyeing her since she was barely 18, to the uncle that grooms her. It takes away from the fantasy projected onto Rhaenyra if she too is surrounded by men that use her and she never escapes that.

Second, it’s funny how F&B gets heralded by some as this exploration of how history is skewed depending on who is telling it. But people can’t read between the lines (you honestly don’t even have to do that much work) with book Alicent. Showing 14 year old Alicent being preyed on, 16 year old Alicent being pregnant with her second child, and 18 year old Alicent being raped is somehow the show needlessly making Alicent a victim. But reading about a 13 year old bathing, dressing, and taking care of a king who mistakes her for the daughter he abused and neglected, and then that same girl, at 18, marrying another king that killed his previous child bride is just girl bossism on book Alicent’s part?

People hate conceptualizing the idea that (even book) Alicent is caught in patriarchal trappings bc to some that takes away from Rhaenyra’s plight…. Bc they can’t wrap their heads around several women *gasp* all going through hardships, and that ultimately people will respond to trauma differently depending on tools/knowledge they have at their disposal. Alicent neither being gleefully evil nor picking herself up by her bootstraps to somehow end years of patriarchal violence is not the neat box they want for her.

#people want Alicent to gleefully be evil not bc it would be more interesting (newsflash it wouldn’t)#but so they can be justified placing her in the ‘evil woman’ category #bc to them their is only ‘good woman’ and ‘bad woman’#but since the show doesn’t lineup perfectly with the woman they made up… they put her in the ‘weak woman’ category #bc the only thing worse for a woman than being a bitch is being perceived as passive in your demise #trust me I would have loved to see Alicent let Viserys rot and plot against him just as much as the next person #but please do not act like that wasn’t probably self preservation and trauma on book Alicent’s part #not her doing it for shits and giggles #and lbr the same people wishing the show went that route would’ve been the same people STILL shitting on her #pro alicent hightower #alicent hightower #pro team green #anti viserys i targaryen #anti targaryen #ok NOW I’m done lol #told myself no more of these lol

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submissivefeminist · 7 months

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As someone with extreme social anxiety, I just need to say that I feel sexting is highly underrated.

Text scenes are about the hottest thing in the world because I can feel so much pleasure and intimacy with someone, share my deepest desires and fantasies, and at the same time never, ever be perceived by them.

#please don't perceive me #I wish I was a drone for someone #I would make a far better drone than I do a person #if you're a tech person who needs a drone gf my dms are open

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nonranghaes · 9 months

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heads up: parental abuse mentioned vaguely. hurt/comfort ahead.

vernon knows what it means when you text this late asking to come over.

despite the insistence that you could move in with him until you got on your feet, you never really took it. he always said that he's your boyfriend and your best friend: this was part of the deal. caring for each other. if it were him, you'd open your door immediately and let him stay as long as he needed to get things sorted out. even after dating for a year, you don't take him up on the offer. instead, he just gets the occasional text asking if it's okay that you come over. that you need to get out. he always says yes, even if that means ditching his friends to go back to his apartment (something he never tells you: he doesn't want you to feel guilty when your safety always comes first). instead, he busies himself with doing things a boyfriend should. he gets the hoodie the two of you share (bought big enough for both of you to wear it comfortably) out of his closet, and sprays his cologne onto it. he gets the plush bear you bought him (one of a set: his was green, while yours was blue) out, too--he needed to shower tonight, and the bear was almost as good a cuddler as he was.

and he brings himself to wait by the front door. you already know the code to the apartment. he texts seungkwan that you're spending the night, and seungkwan asks if he needs to bring anything--dinner or otherwise--to cheer you up. it makes him thankful his roommate understands. truly, sometimes vernon thinks seungkwan loves you almost as much as he does.

the door chimes when you open it, and he can see the fact your cheeks are wet from the moment he sees you. wordlessly, he opens his arms to you, and you don't rush into them. you close the door, you slip out of your shoes and set them aside, and then you step up. you meet his gaze for a moment, and then you sink into him, arms wrapping around him tight.

"why is it always my fault?" you sigh out. it's not the first time vernon's heard that. the next thing you say is another repeat of something you've said too many times before, "i just wish i could be enough for her."

he holds you tight. "it's not your fault," he says. he'll always say it, as many times as you need it. "she's the one who's never happy. you didn't do anything, baby." (he hopes the term of endearment helps.)

"i just... i told her i'd go back and get whatever she wanted, and then she got all pissed off and snappy and said she'd do it herself." you bury your face into his neck. "i just said i was tired... i didn't mean i wouldn't go, i just--"

hot tears hit his neck, and he just holds you tighter. "hey, hey--you didn't do anything. how much have you done today?"

you start listing them off. the meals you've cooked, the chores you've done, the places you've gone...

"anyone would be tired at this point," he tells you. he draws back from you, taking your hands in his as he takes a few steps back, "c'mon. let's go cuddle, baby."

fuck the shower. he'll take one in the morning. you need him more now, and he's happy to be there for you to fall asleep on halfway through a movie on his laptop. whatever it takes to remind you you're loved, he'll do. that's what a boyfriend does, he thinks. and then he scratches that out:

that's what someone who cares does, regardless of title.

#nonranghaes.thoughts #seventeen x reader #nonranghaes.svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen x you #svt imagine #svt x you #chwe vernon x reader #vernon angst #vernon x reader #chwe vernon angst #chwe hansol x reader #man im just. im just tired. im sorry i cant do shit right #i wish i was more than just a fucking uterus or means of money to her... all im good for is 1. money (one day) and 2. grandkids #and i wish i were viewed as more than that in her fucking eyes but at the same time i dont care. i dont want her to perceive me #ughh ignore my venting in the tags i just. i wish i were loved on purpose #and not out of obligation

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