#I don't ever wanna go back

[ghostly-cabbage]

We need to talk about the worst thing about making AUs....

The fact that then when you inevitably think about crossovers you don't want the crossover with the canon you want it with your specific AU. Your brain worms, your circus, but THEN WHAT?

Oh, yeah, to understand this crossover you need to go read this entirely different fic/series? Girl help 😭 you can't do that

#high-key this post is about the genrex x dp crossover I started way back when and how I don't think i'll ever be able to go back to it #bc fae and I have literally put such a massive amount of work into f.h:s and fleshing out the world and how everything works and #the characters personalities and development that I genuinely do not wanna write something in the canon universe anymore #like f.h:s has become my default way of thinking about Rex in a creative capacity #we're here just to suffer but also experience untold amounts of joy you know #we're really lucky here in the phandom bc fanon is so prevalent that people are willing to get in on the ground floor with any #wacky crazy fun hcs you can dish out #and i love it here for that #but for the smaller fandoms its... you cant expect your readers to already have an understanding of your specific au and bible length hcs #anyway #in a low-key way this post is also about how #last month Fae and i went insane for several days about our gen rex AU version of Rex ina crossover with Murderbot and it was so fun but al #It was just for fun and for us YES but I keep thinking about and it's objectively hilarious to write something that is for a max of 4 ppl #When you really get to it tho it was actually for a max of 2 people and those two people are named Kei and Fae

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

#tw religion? #kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on #some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago #liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not #tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much #i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different #things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how #id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet #but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that #and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on #you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding #things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc #life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam #me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you' #AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you' #even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that' #and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone #(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it) #(nothing even ever started you bitchass) #also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it #mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal.. #but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared #my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN #'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean #i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective #but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back #and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever #anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol #def gonna delete later #but ty for reading if u did <3

[hunny-bxscuit]

Art block doodle dump bc college just started and I'm about to break(dance/down)

#lmk #lego monkie kid #nezha #shadowpeach #sun wukong #six eared macaque #my art #I'm like one step away from making a Twitter account dedicated to posting daily nezha shitposts #but also I don't wanna go back to twitter lol #my version of lmk nezha is the most ooc you're probably ever gonna see #he's like an oc at this point #but hey #he's living in my head rent free and I'll blorbo-ify him until he's reduced into a sewer rat /hj #Wukong's golden tears seeping into Macaque's scars is a reference to kintsugi :] #ykmtw

[mymarifae]

ok

#... #project sekai #the thing about akito and toya's heart to heart in vbs's main story is like. it is SO...emotional and sweet and like. #oh my god they mean the world to each other. do not separate them ever again. #and then you remember that an and kohane and ken are in the back watching like 😶👍 #when akito says ' don't go overthinking it. you wanna be with me and i wanna be with you' (ugly crying over this btw) #and an interjects herself with 'so are you guys gonna order or what' like. JANFSBDMNFSNMFSMKFDKFLFMGLDGFHNFGMLF

[elvirusx]

I really just wanted Megan to come to VA. Every time i'm back in Baltimore something terrible happens.

#I don't ever wanna go back there low key #Too many bad memories #BUT DAMN I WANNA SEE THE QUEEN #lets see what these ticket prices are giving first i guess #Hot girl summer tour #megan thee stallion

[keeps-ache]

wink blink look !!

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #sona #ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgghhhh #am i RIGHT guys hfhvs #:33 #//not many thoughts recently #not many thoughts for a while actually lol #must've talked myself weary! huh! #/let me try at this though - i feel like i have some little part of my brain that's all stopped up #it's been like that for a minute ! #/ah but a question - do you ever stand by a bit of forest and hear what are distinctly Whispers ? #i know it's definitely the wind but it's fun to think it's anything else lol :>> #ghosts or fairies or the road down the hill for whatever reason #/oh and speaking of hearing i got a weird + shrill + loud tone in my ear the other day and it just didn't happen again #a sudden EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and then it stopped lmao #funky stuff man. wonder what's up with that hfhs #//anyway i'm working on my artfight references rn lol :) #i've finished one! what a miracle!! hfsh- #it looks a lot better than the one last year like Wow. don't think the same person made these you know what i mean hfh #//ah i've also started using padlet for realsies this time :> #it's a neat spot - it's gonna be great to just have the palettes i need on another device loll #that's the biggest problem i have on this planet! having to scroll my blog for palettes is not the most fun thing hfsh #/anyway gonna get back to it!! #i'm sort of tired but i Really wanna make kira and hid's this yearrr #they are very ~+~+~ <3 ~+~+~ to me lol :>> #so toodles ! here i go again hfhsv

[aurosoul]

haven't posted selfies in ages... here is Professional Clothes Shopping from during my big conference prepping

#me #gpoy #incessant meowing #i feel like i am just now recovering from all that ghdfkghd #i don't ever wanna do two travel work events back to back again #i got asked to present at some university film event in florida and just said 'no i'm trans lol i'm not going there' #also i'm busy planning something else! that will actually be in LA!! #anyways it felt good to say no to someone and not feel guilty about it #i think i'm finally learning to pace my work schedule

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

Being raised by adults who never apologized for their wrongdoings and always blamed their behavior on extenuating circumstances or someone else or their mental conditions really messed me up huh. Like all I asked was for you to apologize for yelling at me for asking you to hand me something because you thought my tone was wrong. But instead of an apology, I'm the one in the wrong because after all my tone was hostile to you and I need to remember that due to your ADHD you can't control your emotions. Nevermind the fact that I had carefully rehearsed the question in my head over and over again because this is not the first time this has happened. And I'm clearly a manipulative person for crying after being yelled at. Doesn't matter that I was thirteen, after all, I should've known better.

#sorry for the vent post #im just not in a good headspace lately #i just keeping going back to this #because i think it was my breaking point #kinda the moment i realized nothing was gonna change #because it didnt matter how hard i tried #and the fact that even now eleven years later when i explained to her how hurt i was by this interaction #it still gets brushed off and i still don't get an apology #like you wont apologize for the big problems you wont apologize for the small problems #it doesnt matter how much i explain how i was hurt i dont get an apology #id even settle for an insincere one at this point #and now being adult and recognizing how bullshit that behavior was #but being expected to carry on like usual because after all it was never that bad #nothing really terrible ever happened so why should i hold onto the past #idk man like 18 years of constantly walking on eggshells and carefully selecting every word and controlling my tone fucks a person up #and i dont wanna go back to that #nevermind the fact that my anxiety disorder got ignored and brushed off time and time again #nevermind the countless signs and panic attacks and weird behavior #mental health mattered until it was something you didnt have or inconvenienced you #then it was all in my head and i just had to grow a pair and act my age

[jfleamont]

I think everybody should have bangs

that's it that's the post

#normally I only post about jily stuff here but I've been wanting to say this since forever and what a better platform than this #I'm a Lily-with-bangs advocate btw #and I've had bangs twice.. the first time when I was 21 but I let my hair grow #and then I got bangs again almost four years later in late 2020 and I've been cutting them myself ever since #I don't ever wanna go back to not having them #also I don't know if there's a difference between bangs and a fringe or if it's just a US vs UK thing #jfleamont rambles

[telekitnetic-art]

(drops this on the ground) oh shit (drops it on the ground) oh damn my bad (drops it on the ground) oh whoops (d

#suggestive #cw suggestive #question mark??? #tagging just in case #anyway. #if you are a mutual and you see this. i am so sorry. #i had to get this out of my system i haven't stopped thinking about this game in 24 hours #vere #vere touchstarved #touchstarved game #listen. vere is hot but also such an bastard-y asshole that he loops back around to being hot to me. #yes that's the mc's hand holding the chain. #its cause thats what I WANNA DO TO HIM (is escorted out of the wendys) #anyway. go check out the kickstarter. please. #i don't have the courage to add my main art tag to this post. #do not perceive me ever again. #have a good day.

[claire-starsword]

ten billion years to get the debug mode of SF2 to work and it's this beautiful, zero context creep-ass screen.

#sfc guide was like 'you need a turbo controller for this' and they're wrong but i get it the inputs do suck #the first game at least had barebones labels for each options #like please i just want to take some screenshots from the game i don't wanna play vanilla sf2 ever again #once you've seen a world where karna's map sprite doesn't suck you can't go back #i miss final conflict that's one of the most beautiful debug modes ever

[linterteatime]

Thats it, next person to call Grimm st0las in my drawings get publicly executed and then thrown to the dungeon to be food for the skeletons

#totally unprompted like nothing nothing that could allude to that thing and yet #like i do my absolute best to avoid anything involving that show and yet #can't have shit in tumblr dot com #and like like i was today like aaaa vibin #and then was like grimm is very cool i wanna draw him today and then i come to tumblr to check my notifications and die #kill me for this but helluv4 b0ss fans are very annoying there i said it #like shut up #you can like your show whatever but you don't have to bring it up everywhere you go god #and this isn't a one time thing every time i draw grimm someone has to be like #he looks like- shushhh #and that one time i specifically said dont mention that man and someone went and mentioned him anyways #man... #throwing myself out of a imaginary window #going back in time to stop this show from ever happening #not art #explodes* #hollow knight

[ereborne]

What is a Monday? A miserable little pile of obligations.

semester turnover restructure

generate/send out error reporting

figure out how to separate out unique counts

create polite reply to Massive Dick Move email

finish the bad book >:(

bò kho (not an obligation. dinner)

laundry

lizard bath

#yapping tag #I spent my weekend trying to sleep and now all my chores are due today and I wanna complain. grump grump grump whine. #the semester turnover restructure actually is a pet project so that part I like! I wish I could take my time with it though #the error reporting is. well it's easy to generate (it's actually running now) and it's tedious but uncomplicated to send out #but then I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting passive-aggressive responses from everybody #in a just world my coworkers would respond to careful itemized lists of all their fuckups with 'thank you Alexis you're so helpful #we really appreciate you flagging our mistakes two weeks before the system final-saves them forever into stone. have a cookie!' #but alas #if I'd been any less stressed and frantic when I first established the error reporting I'd have set up a separate address to send them from #write up some template emails and let the reporting all come out of the mythical 'automatic system thing' #--every 'automatic system thing' in our college is me or IT on my behalf. even the people who hired me for this don't seem to realize #if only I'd known from the beginning that nobody would ever connect me and my systems! I'd be exploiting the shit out of it-- #the unique counts is going to be a headache. no idea how I'm going to structure the coding for it. might be fun to invent? we'll see #the Massive Dick Move email response also will be an invention. 'hello Mr Massive Dick I am karma here to smite you' but polite #the bad book >:( I don't want to read any more of but the deal I made with my friend is he sends me free books and I report back #we did not discuss a special 'get out of book free' card for when the main character is a godawful shit sibling. (should've done though) #beef stew is good! mostly it's on the list so I don't forget to set the timers #laundry and lizard bath can wait until tomorrow if they must but they shouldn't wait any longer than that. lizard and I will get stinky

[ukulelegodparent]

grrrr why did people ever stop wearing mid-renaissance clothes

#yes I am mad bc I wanna go to fetes galantes with a friend in a few years #which will mean having to make a baroque gown and I just think Baroque dresses are so ugly 😭 #give me back my beautiful renaissance shapes please!!! I am crying I am shaking etc #and by renaissance I do not mean whatever rigid monstrocities the british had going on during the tudor and elisabethan era #I mean my beautiful German/Dutch renaissance soft shapes #with just absolute madness in the sleeves and in the details #like at least rococo is a little fun bc panniers but baroque? I want to throw myself off a cliff. #'Early 16th century is when Central European fashion peaked and honestly we should've just kept that' remains the hill I will die on #like it's so fun and so stupid. you want a big silly hat? have a big silly hat! you want the poofiest sleeves to ever poof? go for it! #You want an ornamented fake bulge that is very dick shaped that has a little pocket in it for treats to give to the ladies #(top 10 flirting tips they don't tell you about! Works every time!!!)? Boy do I have the accessory for you! #but no we must have weird flowy shapes and then not even commit to that also lets all wear the worst hairstyle anyone has #ever conceived of. that's a good idea! #just completely lost literally what were people on about back then? A fucking disgrace I'm telling you!

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

im havign shrimp emotions

#At the edges of my fingers Never quite closing round it Oh that peace like a river Always going but never getting Seems like maybe it's not #all that much a place As it is a way And ways don't ever seem to want to Stay too still for too long Isn't that what it's all about? The #slow trickling thaw that sets the banks in half The sweet melody it makes when the canyons crack I wanna give it all I've got and I want #nothing I want nothing back Whatever kingdom come it probably won't come quick No mighty clarion to announce it No single use ark to discard #in an instant Like Theseus's ship we'll fix the busted bits 'Til it's both nothing like and everything It's always been It's a wonder we #expect a thing to Stay the same at all Maybe that's what it's all about We keep fixing what we know is only bound to break What's worth #saving is never worth letting go to waste I want to mend what I've got instead of throwing away Ain't nothing come easy No nothing comes #quick It's gonna hurt like hell to become well But if we set the bone straight It'll mend It'll fix And we'll be well Ain't nothing come #easy No nothing comes quick But I want for you this that you are well I want for us this that we are well We are well we are well We are #well we are well We are well #btw

[caluski]

The thing about.... privacy on the Internet dying is making me anxious because I don't have anywhere else to go. Like, there are places to post, even if tumblr were to fully shut down tomorrow, I'd have my discord, my Instagram, my Twitter, could make an account of any of those Twitter copies... but who would go after me? It's sad to think that not only I have to start from scratch in my private life, having lost so many years of my life to mental illness... But being online, too. Having no one to ask about my ocs or want commissions from me, no one to ask how was that café visit yesterday, what books am I reading right now... I feel a little better, being able to post on here even if no one is reading all that stuff because I feel comfortable and anonymous on here, but my god I am not ready to have to go back going by my deadname even online, because people who know me irl want to follow my Instagram. I hate that this reality is closer and closer to me.

#'just stop being online' feels so cruel to be told. I don't wanna part with being considered a man by at least a few people online #I really don't wanna have to go back to never being called my chosen name ever again #pogaduchy