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welcometothejianghu · 4 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 莲花楼/Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Mysterious Lotus Casebook is a 2023 drama about a beautiful twunk who just wants to die of his chronic illness in peace, except that neither the dumbass purebred dog of a man who has decided they're best friends now nor the jock begging him for a rematch are going to let him go without a fight (in the latter's case, literally).

Also they ride around in a magical bamboopunk RV.

I have referred to it elsewhere as "the CW presents: Nirvana in Fire," and I stand by that assessment. (I orginally called it Tiger Beat Nirvana in Fire, before realizing that Kids These Days will not get that reference. Shout out to the other elder millennials in the audience!)

There's been a lot of English-speaking fandom buzz about this show, to the point where if you're in these circles, I'm sure you've heard about it before. I know I had by the time I started watching -- which left me largely unprepared for the actual viewing experience, because the parts of the show that fans talk about are not a representative sample of the show itself.

This drama can be a good time. It's fun to watch. It has some hilarious beats and also some emotional moments. It spent its not-huge budget very smartly, and as such is generally quite lovely to look at. As my League of Nobleman rec will attest, I appreciate raw materials, and this is a show that has some fascinating raw materials.

(Or some materials that need to get rawed, take your pick.) (Also, it's not my fault they didn't do a dramatically lit Fang Duobing shot so I could round out the trio here.)

You'll find some people out there who've gone real hard for this show, doing some deep analyses and getting really emotional over it. I don't want my gentle ribbing to give the impression that those silly fans are delusionally talking like the show's a five-star restaurant when it's really just a fast food joint. Not so! There's a reason it's captivated a whole lot of people! And in case you might be one of those, allow me to give you five reasons you should consider watching it.

1. This bitch

The main character, Li Lianhua/Li Xiangyi is probably 50% of the show's appeal all by himself. He's fascinating. He's gender. He's fashion. He's been afflicted with a substance we called "bitch poison" the whole time we were watching. He has many emotions. He cries a lot. He coughs up blood every other episode. Cheng Yi is putting his whole lianhuassy into this performance, and it shows.

I made the Nirvana in Fire comparison earlier, and I stand by it for a lot of reasons, but the truth is that he's actually much more Opposite Day Mei Changsu: Li Lianhua wants all this stuff to fuck off and leave him alone forever. He is not seeking vengeance, nor does he particularly want to Do Schemes, but Circumstances keep dragging him back into the thick of all this nonsense he thought he left behind when he (mostly) died ten years ago.

The thing is, he used to be a real dick back when he was a kid. And I mean a real dick. He was a dick to his chronically insecure adoptive older brother. He was a dick to his girlfriend with the personality of wet tissue paper. He was a dick to the handsome loser who liked his girlfriend. He was a dick to his followers. He was basically just a cocky little shithead who thought he was the best at everything -- and he actually was the best at everything, which just made it worse.

Li Xiangyi used to think everything (especially himself) was sooooo important, and now that life has massively kicked his ass, Li Lianhua had come around to the position that nothing is actually that important, so let's just all chill and grow vegetables. He doesn't want a rematch. He doesn't want to retake his rightful place as the head of anything. He just wants to pay his respects to the dead before he joins them.

Now will everybody please just stop moving into his house.

2. goof-ass jianghu nonsense (affectionate)

As I mentioned earlier, everything I'd seen about the show on Tumblr had still left me absolutely unprepared for what a silly ride it is. Because it's silly. Hoo boy, is it silly. My wife dubbed it "lace front Phoenix Wright," just to give you a metric for how silly we're talking. Ace Detective Fang Duobing never cross-examined a parrot, but I feel he came close.

This show has some serious goof-ass jianghu nonsense -- you know, the sort of stuff that's impossible and ridiculous, except everybody’s going to treat it like it's just a normal part of existence. Here's a short and certainly inexhaustive list:

mind-controlling bugs

other bugs that control the mind-controlling bugs

ex-conjoined twins

a grown-ass man who can compress himself into bitchy third-grader

grave-robbing societies with secret brag language

so much nonconsensual qi-blocking performed by poking people in the boobs, that can't be safe, everybody wear thicker shirts

magical crossdressing powers

a bad guy who looks like this

a princess who can get abducted and sex-trafficked and, like, nobody really notices? huh.

healing childhood paralysis by the power of believing in yourself

a ... hallucination pit? what was that, anyway?

so. many. mechanisms.

the equivalent of the "he's only mostly dead" business from the Princess Bride

a gradually lethal bookshelf

the strange amnesia everyone suffers from where a dude can cover maybe 30% of his face and render himself immediately unrecognizable to long-time friends and associates

The thing is: I think this goof-ass jianghu nonsense is a legitimate selling point. I found it so fun. I turned off my need for show elements to obey little things like the laws of physics, and I had a good time. It can be a very funny drama, in part because it knows how silly a lot of its shit is, and it chooses to go full speed ahead with a sincere heart. If you are down for some shounen absurdity, you are in for a treat.

However:

2.2. goof-ass jianghu nonsense (derogatory)

I'm granting myself a sub-point here, because this is an important qualifier for the previous point.

I'm going to assume, based on what I've seen from fan responses, that many of the people who really like this show actually don't like the goof-ass jianghu nonsense. They are here for the BL vibes (after all, there are three cute boys who alll have some intense emotions about one another), and therefore downplay all the parts that aren't that. I want to make it clear that this is not a bad thing to do. There are many, many properties where I myself fixate on a single element and toss the rest into the sea. No judgment here.

However, since this is a post written to convine you to watch something, I want to make it clear what you're going to get if you dive in. If you're one of those people who skips scenes and/or entire episodes when your ship of choice isn't onscreen, you're probably going to be doing that a lot here. (I mean, I can't imagine doing this, but Tumblr has taught me that fandom is a rich tapestry.) The bones are good, but the connective tissue can be questionable.

The main thing I wish I'd known before starting is that the mysteries are not the selling point. They are the celery that gets the cute boy peanut butter to your mouth. You, the viewer, absolutely cannot solve them; you're never given enough context or information to keep up with the detective lads, much less get ahead of them. Everyone does everything in the most convoluted way possible, to the point of comic absurdity. Finding out whodunnit is rarely that satisfying, because too often the culprit is Jianghu Steve, You Know, That Guy Over There With The Superpower The Characters All Know About But You'd Never Heard Of Before Thirty Seconds Ago.

The goof-ass jianghu nonsense feels like the place where the show I see fans talking about least lines up with the show that actually exists. And I think that's a shame, because I think the show that actually exists is actually a good time! It's just, you know ... silly.

3. Whenever Di Feisheng's not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Di Feisheng?

This drama gets sold like it's the adventures of three guys together. (Hell, I kind of did it myself in the intro.) This is not the case. This is the tale of two guys who do most of the plot stuff near one another, and their occasional third, Di Feisheng.

This is a 40-episode series and I swear this guy's onscreen for maybe 15% of the time -- and for half of that, he's just off doing his own thing anyway. He disappears entirely for huge chunks of the series, which is a crime, because he is my absolute favorite.

He is the rare grumpy himbo. He doesn't just have resting bitchface, he has bitchface for all occasions. He somehow has bitchface even during the rare moments he actually smiles. He's got a whole traumatic backstory, but the traumatic backstory is not the reason for the bitchface. He's Just Like That.

(Important to note that the actor himself only slightly has a resting bitchface. Xiao Shunyao can look normal and indeed quite pleasant. He has simply leaned into it real hard for this grouch.)

The one -- one -- reason I can accept his being gone for so ding-dang much of the show is how often he re-emerges with perfect, hilarious timing. Thank goodness the show realizes how much comedic potential his character has, because his unexpected entrances are some of the best laugh-out-loud moments of the series. If the show had taken Di Feisheng as seriously as Di Feisheng takes himself, he would have been unbearable. As it is, he's an unmitigated delight.

While you losers were being heterosexual, he studied the blade.

He makes the perfect foil for both Fang Duobing, who's the human equivalent of a puppy trying to gnaw an elephant to death, and Li Lianhua, who just wants to be excused from this narrative. Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing are basically two dogs fighting over their favorite toy, and their favorite toy is Li Lianhua, who really wishes he weren't. Some of the most compelling and fun moments of the series are when these three losers are all together.

And these three losers are barely all together.

This show is Not Danmei. It's so Not Danmei that I had a tremendously difficult time while making this post finding either official images or screencaps with even two of them in frame at the same time, much less all three. It is, however, a Danmei Starter Kit. I mean, the tag on AO3 has, at present, 742 works in it (283 in English). That's just since July! There are years-old c-drama shows that have a fraction of that fan output! And I'm willing to bet a big reason why is how little the very intense boys with ridiculously compelling interpersonal dynamics actually interact onscreen.

But, I hear you asking, why would less of what the fans want equal more fan goo? Well, friends, that's exactly what the fan goo is for: filling in the blanks. And this here show has a lot of blanks. Look, I've made a very scientific diagram (that many people seem to agree with) about how this all works:

The Hump of Compelling Mediocrity is the place where the amount of stuff worth thinking about far outpaces what the show actually contains of said stuff textually. It is the ideal location for imagination adventures.

Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua's relationship in particular lives right in the middle of that hump, what with the huge gaps in their backstory and all. They are a pair made entirely of unanswered questions. What the hell is going on there? What's their whole history, beyond the big fight? Why are they like this about one another? The show refuses to say. Whatever you imagine, you're correct. Now go tell AO3 about it.

interlude: God's perfect dipshit

I feel like I'm engaging in Fang Duobing erasure in the rest of this post, since he's not at the tip of any of the points I'm making, so I'm going to add a picture of him here, because I love him and want to pinch his perfect little cheeks.

You know what I am shocked by? How the MLC/DMBJ reincarnation fics apparently have not taken hold yet. I give it another two months.

4. IT HAS A DOG

FOX SPIRIT, MY SWEET BABY

'You mean the dog gets a whole selling point to himself' yes the dog gets a whole selling point to himself, because he is a very good dog and a very good boy (and his actor is a very good girl)

Apparently he has a whole backstory in the novel that never gets included in the drama, including an explanation of why he's named "Fox Spirit," if you feel like going and reading up on that.

Sadly, Fox Spirit is in the show even less than Di Feisheng is, and that is a crime, because he could have solved all these silly human mysteries in thirty minutes flat, Wishbone-style.

Dogs are so good.

5. One bad, bad girl

Do you like an unhinged villainess? Someone who's been sucking down Crazy Juice since beat one? Because oh boy, this show's got one of those for you.

Jiao Liqiao wants two things: to rule the world, and to make Di Feisheng her pretty little housewife. And whomst among us does not understand these two impulses?

She's not even the Big Bad! She's mostly just Di Feisheng's personal nightmare. She is the type of woman for whom the phrase "he's just not that into you" was coined. You've got everyone around her telling her, honey, I don't even think I've ever seen him look at a pair of breasts, while she's already planned their whole wedding menu and reserved the venue.

She has spent the last ten years of Di Feisheng's extended vacation making sure she's the one who's actually in charge, functioning as the point person for all the other evil schemes going on. Instead of handing over the reins upon her himbo boss' return, she's just going to keep doing what she's good at. As long as he keeps doing exactly what she wants him to do, she's gonna let him do it. If he gets out of line, well, there's always Plan B (the B stands for Breaking all of his tendons and making the world's surliest RealDoll).

I love the fact that she's so obviously evil, and he can't see it. To a certain point, it's not his fault -- everyone who serves under him is pretty obviously evil, so that doesn't make her special. But she's real evil even above and beyond that, and his dumb ass can't stop thinking about Li Lianhua long enough to notice any of the hundred or so knives she's aimed right at his back. He's so uninterested in her constant advances that he doesn't register how wanting to fuck someone and wanting to overthrow someone are not mutually exclusive desires.

(Was I bothered throughout most of the series by how her lipstick should be a little more crimson and a little less coral? Yes, but I'm not going to hold it against her. She's busy doing evil stuff. She'll get over to the nearest Jianghu Sephora and restock one of these days.)

While the show occasionally sidelines or straight-up forgets about a lot of its supporting characters for several episodes at a time, it never forgets to check in on what Jiao Liqiao's up to. Claws out, hair done, she is at all times a constant glorious, scenery-chewing menace with excellent taste in terrible men. Absolute legend.

Bonus: These two sluts

They don't get to be a full point because they're not nearly in the show enough, but just look at them. This is peak male character design. Slutty undone hair and slutty bare forearms, be still my bisexual heart.

Going to give it a try?

iQiyi's got you exclusively, baby.

Have I sounded a little defensive in this rec? Yeah, probably. It's just that I know there's a big and pretty intense fandom out there for this already, and I feel like a jerk coming in and being like "sure, it's fun!" when people are posting about how it made them cry for weeks. I want to be clear that that's not a bad reaction to have, while at the same time also being clear that that's not the reaction I had.

I might not even have written this rec, had I not been nudged to -- not because I don't think it's worth watching (I clearly do!), but because I don't know how much help it needs from the likes of me. There are plenty of other evangelists out there that'll give much more enthusiastic recommendations (like this one).

But the truth is that not every show has to be a heartbreaking work of staggering genius to everyone. I watched the show, and I liked it, and I had a normal time.

I also think there's something to the way I watched it, which was: one episode per day, schedule permitting, such that it took nearly two months for me to finish it. (And before you think I singled MLC out for this, this is actually how I watch most c-dramas.) I bet binging it is a way different experience, one where what rises more readily to the top is the tragic throughline of Li Lianhua's whole deal. If you're inclined to skip things not immediately germane to your points of interest, this is definitely the show to take at a solid run.

I actually paused in the middle of making this rec and made the one for the Blood of Youth, because the two invite comparisons: jianghu tales with chronically ill protagonists, some imperial bullshit going on, pretty boys with swords being weird about one another. Mysterious Lotus Casebook did not grab me as hard as the Blood of Youth, because MLC went for a more understated take on all its nonsense, instead of shooting completely over the top, which is how I prefer my nonsense (as the record will show). If you take your silliness with a subtler flavor, this could be the perfect thing for you.

Maybe you'll wind up being one of those people who gets their whole insides totally ripped out by this drama! But even if you don't, you're probably going to have a good time watching it anyway. And really, what more can you ask for from a show than that?

Peace, nerds.

#mysterious lotus casebook #莲花楼 #lotus boys #three virgins in an rv #rec post #i made this

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perpetualexistence · 2 months

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An Appetite for Knowledge: A Prologue to A Total Drama Noah as a D&D Monster AU

So, I came up with an AU for Noah as a D&D monster. It was supposed to just be one post. Then I started writing a scene for it. Then more context to the scene. Then I came up with a cool name for the AU.

The next thing I knew I was editing the scene immensely and whoopsie daisy I have a horror one-shot.

For extra shits and giggles, I decided to be experimental with it. I wanted to try to do more with less. So I'm not going to name what kind of monster Noah is in this one-shot. If you think you've figured it out, please do leave a comment or put it in the tags because I'm curious.

I plan to post more about the AU itself, including exactly how Noah works, in a separate post that should only be stream of consciousness paragraphs. Do keep in mind that I don't plan to make this an actual fic series, this just serves as a prologue to the AU itself.

If you know nothing about D&D monsters, that's also okay! If I've written this story correctly, you shouldn't have to know anything about D&D in order to enjoy it.

I might end up posting this on AO3 eventually, it really just depends on how I'm feeling. For now, without furthur ado, An Appetite for Knowledge!

Content Warnings: Implied murder, blood

It needed a real body.

It grew tired of hiding from creatures larger and dumber than itself. It could not feed properly from them. It had no collective knowledge to work from. It could only wander in a direction and anticipate.

It came across a stray child hiding himself between the roots of a tree.

The child made not a sound. Not even an aura of magic around the child. I could feel the child's thoughts racing inside of his fleshy cocoon. The child is reading a book far beyond his reading level. A clever hiding spot for a clever child. Not much older than itself. Perfect.

It sent memories into the child's mind. The pain of being dragged from a cranium unknown and melded with paws and claws for travel. The ceaseless chatter of voices commanding it to obey and feed. The utter apathy for a purpose unbidden until now. The knowledge of exactly what was to happen next.

The child screamed. He threw his book to the ground. He used his free hands in his futile attempts to scramble through the roots. They were clearly a tight squeeze without the throes of panic. They were mere inconveniences for a creature the size of a fist.

"No! No no no-AAAAAAAH-"

He's 8 years old and is from the border. He comes from a poor family, but is himself blessed with magic. He was scouted by a magic academy for proper training and accepted immediately.

He's among the first of many students that are being taken back to the academy through a traveling caravan. He couldn't stand for being around others for so long. The second they settled for a break, he fled to seek solitude.

He can understand the sentiment. That's what it did when the demands of the hivemind stopped and he was blessed with free will. It wasn't going to stick around for the fights for power in a state of anarchy. But he'll have to be smarter than that now. He can't have another monster picking his body off while he's alone. Not to mention, he is soon to be among wizards.

They have many spells for finding creatures like him. He must find a way to counter them, or he must flee. He peeked into the spells he now knew. They are not many, but the fact there are any given his age explains why he feels almost stuffed with knowledge. He won't have to eat again for quite a while.

He found a spell that would allow his aura to appear as human as his body is. He would have to spend most of his energy casting this spell every day. But once his body grew, and he learned how to better yield his magic? Oh it would very much be worth the constant risk of discovery.

He slowly tilted his head up from his curled position. Light peeked from between the roots to irritate his closed eyelids. He slowly opened his right eye. The light hit his retina to reveal brown roots, brown skin, a brown book still clutched between his arms. He opened his left eye to reveal the same view. Muted colors. Colors nonetheless.

He opened his mouth slowly, and closed it again. He opened his mouth again, and stuck his tongue out to look at it. Closed it again.

His face stung from the scratches it had inflicted. He moved a limb, his arm, to touch his face. He brushed his middle finger against blood. He brought his bloodied finger into view. He took his thumb and rubbed it against his middle finger.

Sloppy work, but it was his first time. He was proud. Proud. Such a nice feeling. He couldn't wait to find out what else could make him proud.

He let out a squawk of indignation as he felt arms burst through the roots and drag him out.

"Kid!" the voice shouted. Based on the armor he was now staring at, this was a guard. He wore a tabard emblazoned with an insignia of runes and sorcery. He recognized that insignia. It was that of his new school. He recognized this voice. This was the guard he had snuck past to look for a place to read. "I heard the screams! What happened to you?! What were you even DOING out here?!"

He hasn't had enough time to parse through his social skills. He'll have to wing it, as his new knowledge of idioms provided. At least he doesn't have to worry about motor skills as he's being carried with two hands around his torso. His limbs dangle as he puts his effort towards speaking.

"I wanted somewhere to read alone." he said. His voice is flat. It's a chore to open his mouth to produce sounds. But that's what human children are capable of, so that's what he must do. The guard's eyebrows furrow in...concern? Ugh, right. Emotions are a thing he needs to account for now.

"Read al-Kid! Just because that weird brain thing got killed, it doesn't mean the woods are safe!" the guard shouted. Oh. That would explain the silence. "This is still a forest swamped with monsters!"

"They were safe enough for you to fall asleep on guard duty." he retorted. It was hard to place where this instinct came from. It had never liked the authority of the hivemind. He had never liked people looking down at him for his age.

The guard's face flushed red. Oh, pride was back. He'd have to do that more often.

"You little-" the guard started before he forced himself to stop. He looked to the ground to calm himself and noticed the claw marks. "Just...tell me what attacked you."

"I didn't see it clearly. I think the little creature that lived here came home. You must've scared it off."

The guard looked directly into his gaze. He couldn't fail this test. He was too exhausted to try again.

The last time he tried to hide something was when his mother caught him a few months ago. He'd stolen his sister's practice wand. He wanted to use it, and she was being selfish. His mother didn't know which sibling had stolen it. She was asking each of them individually. He had watched his innocent siblings meet her gaze, and she relented. He had tried to meet her gaze, but guilt overcame her and he had looked away from her.

He looked directly at the guard. The guard was the first to look away and sigh.

"Just don't do it again kid, next time you won't be so lucky." The guard slung him over his shoulder like a sack of grapes.

"You're right, I won't be."

"Let's just get you back to the others....uh..."

The guard is trying to pull for a name. His body's name is spoken in a tongue unfamiliar to most in this country. He was not lying. He will never be so lucky as to find an opportunity like this again.

What to say, what say? He's never had the ability to be creative before. He only knew what his body last knew before he moved in. Including his last words.

He tried going for a grin. He could only settle for a smirk.

"Noah. You can call me Noah."

#an appetite for knowledge au #total drama au #horror #total drama noah #td noah #total drama #dungeons and dragons au #dnd au #dnd monster #tw implied murder #cw implied murder #tw implied death #cw implied death #implied murder #implied death #blood #tw blood #cw bloow

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dream-a-little-bigger-darling000 · 3 years

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You'll Fit So Nicely You'll Keep Me Intact

Author's Note: Hello Hello! Not my GIF, please don't think it is, but it is my fic! I asked a few days ago if I should do Bane or touch-starved Tommy, and it was pretty clear I should do my sweet summer child Tommy boy. I just really think this big tough fighter needs to take a break and be held every once in awhile. And you can't tell me this man wouldn't have the sweetest moans. Fight me on it you can't. Please Please PLEASE reblog, like, or comment on this if you liked it. I live my day to day life craving validation.

If you absolutely hated it, also let me know! I admit I'm not the best at writing, and I'm willing to learn so I can feed my Tommy Conlon addiction. Ok, that's all, be fed!

2400+ words?! C'mon, that's gotta be enough to make you proud.

The whole fiasco was genuinely an accident.

The two of you, in his small cramped apartment, helping each other make dinner, because you couldn't remember whose turn it was, walking around each other like you had been doing it for years, because you had been.

You had been by Tommy for as long as you can remember, through those years where puberty slammed in the door and decked you directly in the throat (and other places), through the time where his family had slowly fallen apart, and into the years where he had joined the US Marine Corps.

Those years had been hell. At least when he moved away you were still able to text him annoying day-to-day updates and talk in the quiet nights when no one was awake to hear you admit how much you missed each other. But when he joined the Marines, you heard even less from your Tommy, and the ache you felt for him only grew.

When he came back, he had came back for good, immediately seeking you out with the promise of your old relationship back. And things went back to normal, slotted into place perfectly.

Except the insane amount of pining that you went through every waking hour you saw his stupidly attractive face.

But you weren't going to think about that. There was spaghetti to be made.

"Those are done." Tommy nodded his head to the noodles as he made the salad. You sneered to yourself, still pissed that he got the easy part.

"No, they're not, look, that one's still hard-"

"That's what she said."

"It's still undercooked you jerk. Can you please let me cook in peace? You're over there, doing the bare minimum, you ass."

"Hey, if this isn't tossed right, the whole thing is ruined. And those noodles are definitely done. We can get them in the sauce before the garlic bread is done so it'll cool down a bit. Look." All the sudden Tommy was crowded up behind you. Your breath did something funny. Probably the steam from the boiling water. Because, you know, it's so hard to breathe around.

Tommy took the spoon you were using to stir and managed to scoop up a single noodle. He then carefully picked it up and threw it on the cabinet. It stuck, but looked like it would fall via a strong sneeze.

"See? Done." You looked behind you to stare up at the infuriating man. He smiled and tilted his head. You had the sudden urge to hit him. With your mouth. Damn it.

He turned around, not giving you a chance to argue with him. That was his first mistake. As a MMA fighter, the idiot should know never to turn your back on the enemy.

You scooped up another noodle with your spoon. You waited until he was truly busy with cutting the tomatoes up for the salad.

You aimed for his head. It wrapped around the back of his neck with a soft splat. He startled for a moment, and then set the knife down and stared forward, still not turning around to look at you.

"You know what, now it's done. Now it's stickin'." You were struggling to hold it together, desperately trying not to laugh as you turned off the stovetop and set the pan aside.

You felt strong arms envelop you from behind, and you let out a loud laugh as you felt your feet leave the floor. Tommy, spinning you around before setting you on the counter. You've really put yourself it a bad position.

Well, if you're being honest, probably the best damn position you've ever been in.

Except that the bastard started tickling you. More laughter spilled out of you, uncontrollable at this point.

"Tommy!" You were out of breath from the constant attack. What happened to never turn your back on the enemy? "Tommy, what are we in-" More laughter as his joined yours. You two were so close you could feel his shoulder dip every time he rumbled a laugh. "what are we in 6th grade now- Tommy!"

You could feel his laughter huff by your ear, and you knew you had to resort to dirty tactics. If he wanted to play by middle school standards, then you had no choice but to stoop down to his level.

Tommy was very distracted trying to murder you by laughter alone, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. He never even realized your hands were so close to his head. He was in the middle of another fit of giggles when he felt your nimble hands glide through his hair. He had half a second to understand what you were planning, and he was just about to pull away, to get as far from you as possible before-

You gave a solid pull to his hair. You felt satisfaction shoot through your body as his laugh choked off, his body going rigid underneath your fingers. His breath stuttered and his hands instantly fell from your sides to grasp the edge of the counter.

You didn't quite understand what was going on at first, the only thing on your mind being that you'd won the battle. You couldn't help the smug smile from sliding across your expression, or the snarky little giggle that bubbled it's way out.

"What's wrong, Tommy? Did someone school you at your own game, hmm? Maybe next time you'll think before you-"

"Could you please let go?" Tommy sound winded, like he'd just fought a few rounds with someone much bigger than him. It made you pause, and then frown.

Your fingers loosened from his hair, but you didn't lower your arm just yet. You couldn't fathom why Tommy was acting this way, when he instigated the rough-housing. And you knew for damn sure you hadn't hurt him. You had seen the idiot stub his toe on his coffee table before, and the only reaction out of the fighter was a pause, a look up to the ceiling, and one long, drawn out sigh.

So even though he sounded like he was trying to fight for his life, you know it absolutely wasn't because you had hurt him in anyway. Tommy could break you five times over.

You looked down at his hands. Not only was he grasping the edge of the counter top, but his knuckles were white, like he was anchoring himself. You glanced to his face. His eyes were squeezed shut, his lips pressed tightly together, and his eyebrows were furrowed in deep concentration. Was he- was that a blush? His body was still pulled tight.

Experimentally, you lightly scraped your nails along his scalp.

If Tommy were to ever hear you call the sound that came from him a whimper, he'd probably swiftly and effectively dispose of your body. But it was a fucking whimper.

His eyes snapped open wide and met yours. You saw his utter mortification. You would say you felt guilty, but having your long time crush whimper while slotted between your thighs as you sat a top a kitchen counter really did things for you.

You mentally reprimanded yourself for letting your mind fall into the gutter as your friend so obviously had a small break down.

Before you could get a word out, to try talk him down from whatever thoughts were swirling in that pretty head of his, Tommy was out of kitchen. Ah, so he's chosen drama today? Coming from a man who would rather fight his own brother than talk, you can't really find it in yourself to be surprised.

"Tom." You dropped down from the counter, heading toward the living room, which was the only way he could've gone. As you rounded the corner, you saw him pacing the length of the room, his hands interlaced behind his head, elbows out, eyes wild.

"Tommy." You smoothed out your voice, pictured yourself trying to calm down a particularly flighty horse. You know, if the horse were the love of your life and you were desperately trying to make things less weird between you two before the already delicate friendship collapsed.

At your gentle prod he stopped. He let his hands fall down to his sides. He huffed once. Crossed his arms, made a face, and then dropped them. His fists curled up into balls and he closed his eyes. He opened one and looked toward you.

"You didn't hear that."

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your own arms to your chest.

He pointed to the kitchen. "That didn't happen."

Because you love your best friend very much, you didn't roll your eyes.

"Tommy. Calm down. Take a deep breath." He did not take a deep breath. You did for him. Then another one for you. You moved toward the couch, and the way he suddenly looked like he was about to sprint out the door didn't escape you. You held your hands up placatingly. Easy, boy.

You sat down, leaving enough room for him to sit beside you. He looked at you wearily. You gave him a pointed look, one that said this is something to be discussed, and there's no way you're getting out of it, and gently patted the space for him.

He looked like he'd rather do anything else. He eventually made his way to the spot and plunked down, but as close to the arm of the couch as possible.

You gave him a sweet smile. He looked away, but not before you caught the blush. You decided to let him speak first.

It was quiet for awhile. Your thoughts went to the noodles still sitting on the counter, probably cooling in the water making a film. He cleared his throat.

"I don't. Not a ton of people touch me." He stared dutifully in front of him. You stayed silent, afraid of scaring him into silence again. He shifted uncomfortably, letting out a growl of frustration. "I mean people touch me. I just meant. It's not. It's," He looked like each word was slowly strangling him, "Never that intimate. I guess. And never anyone like you."

You're eyebrows shot up. His head jerked toward you.

"Not like that, I mean like someone so pretty." You choked a little. He visibly flinched. "Ok. I think that's enough for tonight. I think I've made plenty an ass of myself for one God forsaken night." He made to move, but your hand covered his before you really thought about it. He immediately stopped, staring at your hand on top of his.

"Tommy, it's ok." He gave you a dubious look. "No, really. Lots of people don't know how to deal with touch when it's not normal for them-"

"I'm fine, I touch people all the time, it doesn't matter it's ridiculous-"

"Tommy." He stopped. You lifted both hands to slowly cradle his face. His eyes were panicky. He looked like he was fighting every instinct inside him. "Listen to me, love." His eyes widened. "You don't have to explain anything. I need you to know it's ok to freak out a little. It's ok for this to be new." You bit your lip. "It's ok if it feels good."

A small sound came from the fighter. His eyes slipped closed. It suddenly hit you. You sucked in a sharp breath, and you started to gently stroking his face to his neck.

"Oh Tommy. You spend all that time fighting in the ring, so much time dominating. You barely let anyone touch you before you knock them away." His dad was probably never there to offer him any type of physical love, and his mom was too distanced from anyone to truly give what Tommy craved. By that time, he had pushed his brother away, and you had never really noticed him to be very active in the dating area.

You could feel his control slipping, could feel him slowly letting you hold his head up while he explored the sensation of someone just feeling him. When he spoke, his speech was slightly slurred.

"Was always jus' scared."

"I know Tommy."

"Didn' want you t' leave."

"And why would I do something stupid like that."

There was a second of silence, but Tommy was too far in to go back now.

"Cuz' I only wanted you to touch. Only ever you." Your heart stopped. His eyes slowly opened, meeting yours. His gaze snapped to your lips, back up to your eyes. All it took was for your eyes to snap to his lush mouth, and he was surging to meet you.

You felt like you were melting, melding into him. His lips were sliding against yours, his hands suddenly huge, thumbs cupping your face while his hands rested on the sides of your neck. He kissed like you see him fight. The urgency and the power and the emotion. You ached all over.

You could hardly remember your name when you finally separated, heaving lungfuls of air. Maybe all that oxygen deprivation had really done something to your brain, because you might be having a stroke. It almost smelled like something was burning. Tommy's face did something funny and he sniffed the air.

Oh. OH. The garlic bread.

Both of you made a mad dash for the kitchen, Tommy arriving first and throwing the oven door open, grabbing whatever cloth he could find to take out the charred bread as you used a dishrag to flap away any smoke that spilled out.

Once he made sure his apartment wasn't going to burn down or that the ambulance wan't going to be making a surprise visit, he slumped against the counter, breathing heavily. You put your hands on your hips.

A few second went by, both of you trying to catch your breath. Tommy looked up at you. You met his eye.

You both melted into peeling laughter, trying to stay upright. It seemed like every time you two would get your shit together, you'd fall right back into cackles.

He finally reigned in the worst of the laughter, and slowly made his way to where you were standing. Your own laughs died down.

"Are we good?" you ask him gently. He nods his head, with his sweet smile.

"We're good" he replies gently. He gets this determined look on his face, and steps real close to you. He doesn't do anything else for awhile, instead looking to you, asking with questioning eyes.

You give him an encouraging smile. He smiles right back at you, and for the second time tonight, strong arms envelop you.

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wintermactavish · 3 years

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Look, I wasn't going to contact you because you seem to be a very hostile person who seeks drama, but one of your friends saw the tagged post I made when you tried calling em out on my ancient bendrowned muse, and tried telling me on anon that you're just going through a tough time. So I took a look on your blog, and I'm honestly worried about you, and not trying to attack you

I see you're a kid, you're stressed, and you don't take constructive criticism well. You seem to turn everything into a direct attack on yourself. I used to do that too when I was a kid. And with how strong purity culture and politically correct cancelling has become, I can't imagine it's easy to be a minor right now.

I assume you're going to get up in arms reading this message, but at the very least I feel the need to warn you. Being a minor and writing NSFW with adults, whether the adults know your age or not, can get those people put onto Pedophile registries, jailed, imprisoned, and if you're in the united states, even killed. This depends on where that adult lives, but you're risking destroying these people by writing nsfw. Even reaching out and asking for nsfw when they deny it to you can still get them investigated if someone reports them to their country or freelance vigilantes. People treat writing NSFW with minors as the same as physical pedophilia, and just this accusation alone can destroy someones life permanently. Freelance Vigilantes will dox them with a callout post containing even the most minor hints at wrongdoing.

Adults who know your age and still want to write NSFW with you are also not likely to be the adults you want near you. You're growing up with the internet and trying to discover what you like, I get it. But nothing online is anonymous anymore, purist culture will "cancel" And attack anyone for nearly anything, people can dox IP addresses with horrifying ease, if you wont be careful for your own safety, please keep the safety of others in mind.

And please stop trying to pick fights with strangers. Especially when you don't have all the information. Your post on my long forgotten RP sheet may have had no effect on me other than irritation, but you used words that will start a fight. You complain about drama and how you feel mistreated online. There is a very high chance that you are making this drama for yourself. The internet is a hard place to learn how to be a real person in, you might be isolated and feel you can only meet people online, but as someone who grew up in the lawless internet to now, I'll tell you what I wish I could tell my younger self

You're too involved in the internet and missing out on important milestones in life. You're hurting you social development and putting yourself mentally at a disadvantage. Everyone isn't out to get you, sometimes the best advice hurts the most, if you're saying something "To be honest" And not with good intentions, don't say it. Go make friends irl. If you have friends, go hang out with them. Bake cookies, go on long walks, ask your parents to go spend the day at a museum or hiking trail, unplug. The world outside the internet is shrinking every day, enjoy it while you can. develop while you can. Make real life connections, they will save you when life is dark.

Who ever told you I'm hostile,there are wrong. I'm just trying to stop misinformation. I do very much have information as proof. Idk which friend but it doesn't seem like it would a friend of mine. I'm not trying to cause drama, I'm just trying to stop the drama. I've been writing nsfw since i was 14 and been rping since i was 14 including nsfw with a close friend. We arn't doing nsfw anymore until my birthday which is next month just to make sure it's safe. I would rather discuss this in dms since it would be more personal,i promise I'm not dangerous.

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hide8696 · 5 years

Text

Ugetsu Murata and Akihiko Kaji (part 3)

"Ugetsu and I fought all the time, even after we broke up. That...was because of his timing when it came to finding a new man...it was as though he was doing it to spite me."

They both aware of their intentions. Ugetsu never hid his intention nor did Akihiko hid his hates whenever Ugetsu got a new boyfriend. They all been doing it over and over like a broken record. Repeating a same things. Still Akihiko had tried to hold on to their relationship and so did Ugetsu secretly.

"Right after Ugetsu has been away from home for some time, there is a honeymoon phase which lasts a few days. It's as if we have returned to the past...and then out of the blue, it happens--as if he's saying, yes, this is a great chance--let's take this opportunity, quit being together and break up for real this time. Like he's in a rush..."

Akihiko last words "Like he's in a rush" always got me. It so freaking sad actually to think how Ugetsu had tried to run away as fast as he could yet he couldn't do it as Akihiko was the love of his life. He loves Akihiko so much as much as he love his violin yet again his love for his violin always overshadowed his love for Akihiko. Which always giving him a hard decision though it was so clear.

It so frustrating like he can have both of it. Like fucking seriously. Even if Akihiko parent opposed it in the future (let put some drama here XD) it change nothing. Akihiko been living like a stray cat though for years. An opposed from his parent won't change anything cause Akihiko will always had a place to return, that all that matter.

"Like, 'I' am not needed. Like--he is forcibly shutting me out from his world."

Ugetsu really makes me worried. *sigh* this guy really needs some psychology help. Anyone please pop-up and help this guy. Show this guy how love working. Show him that the warm of sunlight will never can hurt him. Show him that it worth fighting for your love. His talent as a violinist will come into 100000000x stronger and beautiful than before because someone will be there to pick him up if he fall. Just save this guy before it is too late. Please sensei *crying* please--

"Why? If you didn't want me, why did you indulge my feelings? And if you pity my lingering feelings, why do you try to throw me away?"

Kay, here the part. Akihiko can never understand what actually Ugetsu is seeking for nor did we understand what he actually wanted other than his violin. What kind of reassurement that he seeking for? Why did he choose pain over his happiness? Just what?

"I want to hold you. I want to run away. I want to give up. I cannot give up. I want to touch you."

And here we saw that Akihiko love had turn into obsession. Which is becoming more twisted than it already is. Akihiko wanted to mark Ugetsu as him. Ugetsu he wanted to be free by Akihiko yet he could not do it and wishing that Akihiko will be the one to release him. He making a 'victim' part here. He making himself the one who being abused in the relationship while it was both of them were the victims and the abuser.

As long as Akihiko and Ugetsu holding into their broken relationship. They can never be free. No matter how hard they trying without actually trying it just never work. It need two side to makes it work. Not only a single person.

As long as Ugetsu shutting himself like that no one can ever reach him. No one can understand him. For once, I was glad he meeting Mafuyu (though his intention was to trigger something in Mafuyu and pull out his talent which might cause something to the band if he able to change Mafuyu into him). His meeting with Mafuyu is a blessing. He was able to shows Mafuyu his true color. His true desired that he never show even to Akihiko.

"...Like he's in a rush..."

Akihiko do saw his color but he didn't see the color that Ugetsu had been trying to hide by painting it into different color. Akihiko do saw Ugetsu true self but he never actually saw the caged and broken violin that Ugetsu keeps on playing. It almost Ugetsu had put a complete and perfect picture to any flaw that Akihiko had almost reaching. Ugetsu had built his wall so high that no one can climb it.

But with Mafuyu, because he placing Mafuyu on a same level as him (his talent) he shows Mafuyu his true self. He tell Mafuyu his desired and even allows Mafuyu to use it as a reference (which I was thinking this is one of the triggered that he trying to give Mafuyu. Ugetsu is slowly shaping Mafuyu into him). I think Ugetsu do saw Mafuyu darkest side. He was after all feeling too much, seeing too much yet showing too little.

"I was allowed to return to a house which didn't let much sunlight in."

Usually people tend to dress or decorating their house, room or anything based on how they, themselves are. And for Ugetsu part, he designed his room to be a place where no sunlight can ever reach him. Because he didn't wish for any warm to fill his heart. He refused to receive any purest love. A gentle touch of a warm heart. He never wanted it.

Even as a child, Ugetsu is already had a dark humor. Like he might be like 5 yo? 4? And already been thinking wanting to die? Like why did he even thinking of it? (and please don't take Ugetsu from us you already take Yuki from us sensei though he only had a few short screening)

Could it be that his talent had exhausted him? His talent had suck like his ability to feel his emotions. His talent had somehow killing him inside?

Ugetsu Murata is a lifeless doll

"I was dumped a long ago. Despite that. It was just me who been hanging on up..."

Akihiko had now perfectly saw the clear image. He was released from their relationship curse. Slowly but he making a steps to it by a help from Haruki obviously, Uenoyama and now Mafuyu. Haruki gentle and kind and pure and sincere feeling had break down the wall he had built solely for him and Ugetsu. Haruki is reaching him despite all he had done to Haruki. Haruki is his salvation and Ugetsu is his destruction. His love for Ugetsu can never be replaced though it was sickening and twisted relationship, it was after all his first love. And Akihiko was not trying to find a replacement for his Ugetsu but he wanted to start a new chapter in his life. For Akihiko, Ugetsu will always be his 'starting point' but Haruki is his 'new beginning' and always be.

Uenoyama had help him emotionally though it wasn't a case as he was the one who help Uenoyama figured his feeling for Mafuyu but Uenoyama had shows Akihiko how a pure relationship work. How a gentle relationship work. How love work with both playing their part. With both receiving and giving the love equally.

And Mafuyu? His music had help Akihiko realised that love do need to be able to sacrifice something in returns of something. He told Mafuyu that as long as Mafuyu still dancing on his past, still playing a same sad melody and caged into that memory, Mafuyu can never go anywhere. Can never be free. As in he was talking to himself. Mafuyu music had slowly helping him to find a new solution, a new beginning. It's because Akihiko had allowed people around him to understand him. He allowed people around him to break his wall. And he had allowed people to give him love and he returned it equally.

And Ugetsu. Kind of sad actually. After reading it more seriously this time. His relationship with Akihiko is his blessing. It was a perfect image for the definition of a 'true love'. I almost can imagined their life in the future where their relationship is real and happening. Imagine where Akihiko is working (I'm not sure what he will become) and Ugetsu is a professional violinist. Where Ugetsu will come to their home after his tour. They finding a new home where a sunlight can reach them. They can cuddling together. Sharing their story. Akihiko still keeps on buying Ugetsu a cup as a present whenever his birthday coming (even Ugetsu had always telling Akihiko it was not actually needed and they already had a quite collection of cup). Ugetsu teasing Akihiko about his drum is still as suck as before. Thinking of it makes my head spinning cause I've been wishing it now if they were from the beginning had that one true relationship.

Kay I stop writing for Ugetsu now. I need to appropriately learn about him. So that I can understand him more and more. And I haven't yet answering my own question to their similarities to violin. *sigh* I'm suck at writing. I'm just overwhelmed whenever I saw their panels and my brain randomly thinking of different things rather than answering my own questions. XD

And lastly----WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING ACTUALLY???

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA

#akihiko x ugetsu #ugetsu given #ugetsu murata #kaji akihiko #given akihiko #given mafuyu #uenoyama x mafuyu #mafuyu satou #haruki nakayama #haruki given #haruki x akihiko #Given

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notcrypticbutcoy · 4 years

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[1/2] Hey Lu! This is kind of a strange ask, but I've loved Malec since the books first came out, and have recently been getting into writing for the pairing. My issue is, I don't watch the show, and I don't... really enjoy watching TV, and especially drama (yay social anxiety!), so I have no desire to watch SH. A lot of the Malec stories are from people who watch the show, and while I've read enough to get a gist of the storylines,

[2/2] and I have nothing against Matt or Harry as the characters, I still have a mental image of Malec from the books’ description. I’ve also seen that a lot of people are Opinionated about book descriptions vs show descriptions, and as someone who’s written for both the books and show, do you have any recommendations for how to deal with writing for a strange amalgamation of both?

I don’t know quite why, but I’m really pleased you sent me this ask. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the show, it vastly improved upon many of the books’ issues (of which there were SO MANY) and the exponential growth of the fandom is wonderful. But there seems to be a common misconception that everyone who used to be in the book fandom (people like me!) just, like, blindly loved the books. And that’s not true! At all! In fact, I spent a lot of my time in the book fandom whinging with other people about canon, and analysing its issues, and someone wrote their damn dissertation (? the American equivalent, whatever that is?) on double standards in straight writers’ treatment of LGBT characters in YA fiction, using Alec as their main example. It was iconic.

But I digress. The truth is, to be completely honest with you, I ALWAYS write a strange amalgamation of book and show canon, with a little bit of a “fuck all canons to hell and back” thrown in. I have written my physical descriptions of the characters in line with show canon for the last few years, but that’s just because I haven’t read a SH book for years, so in my head, Alec and Magnus now look like Matt and Harry, not whatever I imagined when reading the books.

So my advice is this: someone will always tell you that your characters in your fic are out of character. Don’t worry about it. Someone will tell you that they simply could not possibly continue to read your fic because Alec had blue eyes. This is a strange squick, imo, but each to their own. I understand that it can be jarring to read a description that contradicts the image in your head. (Leaving a snide comment about it is attention-seeking and looking for a fight. Ignore it.) You’ll see people analysing how Magnus should always be written like THIS, or how Alec should never be written like THIS, and anyone who does is a BAD writer and a TERRIBLE person. Scroll past it.

And sometimes people won’t like your fics for other reasons, and that’s fine! As long as they’re not being rude about it, it really does not bother me if someone decides they don’t like how I write Alec so they stop reading my fics. That’s up to them! I’ve certainly done the same, sometimes.

(A side note: analysing a character’s canon characterisation is completely different and fun and I always love reading that kind of meta! Passive-aggressive subtweets about certain writers who write characters in certain ways is boring and unnecessary. Scroll past it.)

(Although, side note number 2: sometimes people are talking about more important things, like how certain stereotypes in fics can be harmful - e.g. the “tiny Magnus” trope. This is entirely different and is definitely something that you should pay attention to. Critical discussion is good!)

Truthfully, as much as the show differed from the books, Magnus and Alec are, at their core, the same characters. They’re not the same, by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t think they’re quite as different as people sometimes make them out to be. Alec is a bit of a dick and he adores his family and Magnus is pleasantly disarmed by his honesty. Magnus hides his centuries of hurt and vulnerability behind power and sass and beautiful clothes and Alec turns into a disaster gay in his presence. (For example.) Conversely, Magnus is less morally grey in the show. Alec is more confident in the show. (Alec is also OLDER in the show, which I think is relevant. And also segues into a whole other discussion 😬). The show characters are more developed have have more depth to them, I think.

Pick and choose. Write the things that best fit whatever world you’ve thrown the characters into. Write the traits that you find interesting, or fun to write! I’m sad that Magnus lost his sass a bit after season 1 - cue me sometimes writing an overload of Magnus’ snarky comments and flagrant innuendos. Sometimes I want to write some h/c, so everyone gets more angsty and traumatised. Sometimes I need more detail/backstory (particularly true when the show was only a season or two in) so I steal from book canon, or completely make it up. Fics are fics for a reason - canon can be embraced in its entirety or you can ignore the whole damn lot of it, and both are completely valid.

I mean, I’ve never written a particularly in-character Jace or Clary in my entire life, because they annoy me so frequently in canon. (Both canons.) So I cherry-pick the traits I enjoy writing, and toss the rest out of the window.

So, TL;DR:

- I am apparently incapable of answering an ask in a helpful, concise way, lol

- write whatever you enjoy! if it feels authentic and if you’re having fun writing and you’re excited by (or at least interested in) what you’re writing, then people will read it, I promise.

- people will always find something to complain about. you can follow every rule that one half of twitter gives you, and then the other half will go ballistic. there’s no right and wrong. people have opinions on things, and that’s fine! but there are always going to be differing and conflicting opinions, so you can’t please everyone. if you try to, you will drive yourself mad and you’ll stop having fun writing fics. trust me - I’ve been there! just enjoy yourself - that’s what fandom is for!

An important one:

- tag your fics with TMI/SH chronicles and the SH show in the fandom section. that way, if somebody is really determined not to read anything containing any hint of book canon (or show canon) they can avoid it

I hope that helps! Have fun writing!

#lu talks #asks #anon #fandom fuckery #shadowhunters #tmi #the mortal instruments #do i even have that tag on this blog? 🤔#i do now lol

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