#I dont understand why she brings it up

[aroace-spec]

lately i have been so frustrated cause one of my friends keeps telling me that out of everyone, she believes i'm going to be the one married with kids no matter how many times i've told i don't want kids. do i see myself married? potentially. but i'm on both the aro and ace spectrum, so it's more unlikely, and i don't particularly feel the need. She insists that i have to get married, so i always like "haha yeah maybe" just hoping she would drop it.

at this point, it almost feels like she's acting like a third parent to me and trying to tell me what my future is, and i don't know what to do.

#she's a good person but won't drop it #I am really bad at confrontation and she should know by know how uncomfortable it makes me #I dont understand why she brings it up #asexual #aromantic #ace #asexuality #aromantism #aroace

[spacedlexi]

speaking of fucked up overly hated female twdg characters i find it Super Interesting how people will say carver was the best villain in the whole series, but when lilly is literally just a successful carver (iron fist leader of a community turning children into soldiers) suddenly shes a bad/lame villain for some reason 🤔

#twdg #hmm im sure this has nothing to do with the fact shes a woman (a woman that a lot of people hated since S1) #AND they gave her a giant boat? thats funny #LIKE if they did originally plan to have kenny be carver in S2 she is LITERALLY JUST THAT IDEA but the woman version of it #also i find it interesting that her speech about larry and the lights is reminiscent of that first convo between shane and rick in the show #i happened to like S1 lilly for the most part and felt her evolution in S4 made perfect sense #she hated being questioned. wanted total authority. ex military and so used to dealing with military types. family/loyalty important to her #which is why her and clem meeting again and clashing heads is so narratively interesting #is this person your family? can you bring them to your side? are they even the same person? when do you let go? #so many themes in S4 mmm yummy #a theme vi/minnie share too #and mitch brings up the sentiment while burning ms martin #but yeah im in the 'lilly was actually the best villain in the whole series' camp i wonder whos in here with me. is it quiet in here #it wouldve been nice to see more of the delta... unfortunately if things needed to be cut its understandable why it was #you dont NEED to know more about the delta than whats been told #but i would like to 😔 #like could we have been given more fleshing out of her character? sure. do we actually NEED it? no #it speaks

[the-owl-tree]

i havent made anything stupid in a while so i had to rectify that

more info on these dudes here

#warrior cats #wc ocs #warriors ocs #deer scribbles #honey's horrible time #i understand why ppl get confused at this story #these are three different cats and two are the exact same #in the second image that is honeypaw going lol not honey #i feel like i dont bring up that honeypaw is like. canonically horrible #like i try to explain why she is the way she is #but she's genuinely awful lmao

[6-2-aestheticsofhate]

i have a lot of thoughts on minos in relation to pasiphae and the minotaur (both greek mythological and in ultrakill) but i dont really want to make a lot of posts abt it considering. the topic is generally hard to talk about.

#like i dont wanna go around claiming that the myth went 1:1 in ultrakills lore #because for example sisyphus was more based off a book rather than his mythology (thank god) #so minos might be only loosely based on his mythological counter part as well #but like. the fact that with the introduction of the minotaur enemy we KNOW the minotaur thing actually happened? jesus fuck #like we KNOW ultrakill minos thinks that the people of lust are only punished for loving eachother.... #while his real life mythological counterpart got mad at his wife for essentially being raped by proxy and she had to defend herself saying #why would she want that. she was cursed/forced to do that because minos didnt sacrifice that bull to poseidon #like i KNOW why that was never really brought up in ultrakill that would be. a weird topic to bring up in a funny robot shooter #and i dont think you could accurately handle the themes of rape through lore books you find in levels of the game #but theres just. something about minos willfully thinking his wife did that of her own accord and him refusing to think about how lust #carries more than people who had sex a lot in ultrakill. #again the myth MAY be different in ultrakill. maybe he never even accused his wife of that. maybe he was more understanding #but theres a non zero chance he did #he could be willfully ignorant and think his wife willingly cheated on him. he thinks everyone in lust is innocent/only had consensual sex #because the alternatives are too gross/immoral for him to think about #it might be because i sympathize a lot with greek mythology women but finding out that the thing with pasiphae happened in ultrakill #DID happen made me lose respect for minos. #... also towards a lot of the fandom for joking abt it. #rape tw

[freckleslikestars]

We should be in a place where we can trust one another. I think you're holding something back. Look me in the eye. Look me in the eye. Tell me - that I'm wrong.

FARSCAPE | 2.01 Mind the Baby

#I dont know if I'm misreading this #but I've always read Aeryn's hesitation before her 'just the once' as a very loud subconscious confession of how she felt. #like as a pk there's not really much shame or embarrassment surrounding recreation - you might not shout about it from the rooftops #but I've always gotten the impression that they're not prudish or overly secretive about it either - its life. it happens. #but then here she's shy and coy about it - almost embarrassed that John is bringing it up in front of D'Argo #and it makes me think that she doesn't view their night on the fake earth as just recreation - its something she treasures #even if she doesn't quite understand why yet #and so its a much more private thing that John has just brought up #and so she hesitates. #she also probably picks up on how shy and prudish John can be about sex sometimes #and so is hesitant about him bringing it up so blatantly in front of D #my gifs #farscape gifs #farscape #john x aeryn #mind the baby #farscape season 2 #farscape edits #john crichton #aeryn sun #claudia black #ben browder #how many times have you and i been close

[scalproie]

Domesticated Post-Tekken 2 Era Kazuya is my favorite to think about because this would be so good for him and everyone else but he would have an absolutely miserable time during it

#like I dont think he would REALLY miss the rich ceo lifestyle bc i dont see it as smth he ASPIRES to but as a means to give himself power #if you (jun) somehow manage to convince him that he does not actually NEED power then i think hes adaptable enough to ajust to a humble life #and the whole being rich thing fed into his worst traits #but I think being close to jun all the time would be torture for him bc he would CONSTANTLY be confronted to his own faulty morality #he cant help feeling above other common people bc he endured much more pain and hardships at 5yo than them in a lifestyle- #but he cannot act on his superiority complex about them bc Its Not The Right Thing To Do #he looks at his newborn son and feel *nothing* before feeling frustration and irritation toward *himself* #bc hes smart enough to know he SHOULD be feeling smth #and if he relunctantly admit this to jun she would tell him that if the best he can do (for now) is to not wish or do any harm on jin- #then it is good enough and he should not beat himself up about it (which he doesnt. but he does) #and even jun. she is another person he could lose and he knows deep down he would be happier without her #but being near her bring back to life smth that died years ago at the bottom of that cliff #and he wont admit it but hes scared to lose it again. even if right now its brings him nothing but discomfort and pain #hes not even sure if he *loves* her. and when he asks her whats in it for her. why she stays with him #(not out of self-consciousness but genuine confusion) she just smiles at him because he IS considering the feelings of someone else #like she is so understanding and he genuinely does try and its a really slow healing process #hes still gonna stay a little bit of a prick smug at times but at least he will be immensely more chill out #and even maybe fall in love with jun *jun* down the line. characters that fall in love with each other years into the relationship👍 #and his whole exploration of fatherhood with jin. him vaguely recalling smth nice jinpachi (or god forbid. HEIHACHI pre-cliff) did to him #and doing the same to jin out of the blue for the sake of experimentation #and jin's positive reaction making him FINALLY AT LAST feel some tiny tiny thing for his son. #also for all her tree-hugger talk. jun is right meditating in the forest DOES help kaz a lot #anyway. yeah👍 #tagging later #tekken

[featherymainffins]

Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?

#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like #while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and #both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor #and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in #a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but #on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her #at all nor do you care to #and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her #but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor #and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc #its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of #several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives; #and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad #and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works #we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you #much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person #and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings #is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself #and leaving with just an aspect would be. #thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol #oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like #scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue #basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it #witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love #each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another #and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems #etc etc #like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?

[bunnihearted]

🍷

#im in such a bad and low mood :< #it's not just my period hormones 🥴 #my wireless headphones worked fine all of yesterday and today when i wake up they're blinking #they're liked fucked up... i turn them off but they constantly turn themselves back on. when i connect them to my ipad they constantly #keep disconnecting and shutting off and turning on 🙃 it makes me so angry bc i need to wear them basically all the time #bc all the noise from neighbors and my family and outside is driving me crazy #but they just dont work anymore?? plus i cant afford new ones... esp now which brings me to my next point #bc of my mom having troubles w school and loans and work etc she was like yeah u guys might have to pay for me this summer so we'll be #proper poor 😄 she doesnt WANT that either but it just sucks bc i got $300 every month and i can barely afford anything as is #yeah so there is no chance of me buying new headphones until at least august or september ...... #then im annoyed bc my sisters are passive aggressive 24/7 and hate my existence and my mom is depressed lol #and i have no one to talk to or be with. it's summer and i wanna do stuff but i just dont wanna do it alone lmao #and then im just sad bc of many things..... #also i hate myself bc im a loser failure piece of shit but like yeah that's normal for me to feel #i just hate everything and it's so hard to endure this lame ass existence skskskskks #why cant ANYTHING be good ever in my life?? #i am garbage and im surrounded by bad things lmao... anyways can i just stop breathing now pls #and it's not just a 'tiny' thing like my headphones not working like it might seem to others #but when u live a life where NOTHING is good or NOTHING works everything just piles on #ppl dont seem to understand that normally bc most ppl have some good things in their lives #so they just cannot comprehend what it's like when nothing works on any level in your life lok #ofc im depressed ofc im angry and bitter and dejected. i have no good things or moments at all in my life. that tears u down #i mean ofc i could be living in an active warzone and that'd be .. pretty awful i can imagine. but yeah... my situation is still not ideal #like i mean i do actually try to practice gratitude of having a roof over my head my own room water in the pipes and food so i dont starve #i am thankful for that bc many ppl dont even have that #i still feel depressed tho <3 #idk what im talking abt now i just feel SO bad and i have no one to talk to #i have nothing to do... no help no treatment... everyone hates me and wants me dead...... #why should i fight when no one cares abt me anyway... well.. i mean i do wanna experience more nature but like idk #im just so exhausted... why cant i ever have smth good in my life that also dont go away after a short while lol

[forbiddennhoney]

):

#personal #ugh #not a day goes by where i dont think of her /: #we were such good friends /: #and like admittedly i needed to take space after all that i don't regret it #but i h8 that she prematurely apologized b4 even hearing my frustrations or why i was hurt #bc she apologized for what she THOUGHT i wanted to hear #and it sucks /: cause i really hope she's doing better #i hope shes ok #and i miss her #but i cannot bring myself to message her bc like...... #i just don't understand how you hear your friends say something shitty happened with someone ur involved with #and blow up at them and demand proof of it #like i dont care how stressed you are with other stuff .......... who does that?????? #nvm the fact that like. majority of the stress she had expressed to me then was literally about...... the ppl who did the fucked shit....... #idk. im just sad #she made me feel so seen and held and heard and we were just friends but like..... i cherished her so much ): #ALSO NVM THE FACT THE DAY BEFORE SHE DID THIS I LITERALLY TOLD HER (after talking to her abt smthn separate) tht #the only way we'd stop being friends is if she did LITERALLY exactly what she did #and yeah she sent it to my Wife's DMs #but honestly that makes it worse cause she knew i was there #nd treated my wife after all that like she was an evil meanie while she apologized to me #(which imo idc it reads and transmisogyny) #and she just like. up and left Everything b4 realizing she fucked up #like she did choose this #and im respecting that and respecting myself enough not to try running and begging her to be friends again #i just. idk man. it sucks

[sar3nka]

Well of course I'm thinking about that one failed friendship almost-relationship while reblogging kamikaze girls screencaps

#please i just want her to die. so i dont have to think about any 'what if's the future may have in store for me #Im actually considering giving her back the teddy she gave me a long time ago. woth a handwritten letter #and blocking her everywhere #I dont even want her thats the issue. I dont understand why brain keeps bringing her up

[vilelittlecritter]

Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse #like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont #ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean #i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun #lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly #oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well #the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that #oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour #as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little #so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends! #ha ha. this is agony. #i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone #which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one #also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse #i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy #its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking #yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much #im also just really snappy sometimes #I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine #they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them #i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents #they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them #sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone #i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it #sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay #I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor #again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon #if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed #personal rambles #vent tag

[crimsongrimoire]

hi ive been sick so of course that means ive been thinking about kaeya being sick and sooo pathetic about it again

#crow.txt #kaeluc #genshin #snippets #fluff #slowly chipping away at this even more. Ugh #tbh the bulk of this was written like. last night and just now. i was letting the thoughts microwave with my weird intermittent fever #literally got two vaccines at once and got attacked by a secret third thing (the common cold for the first time in like 4 years) #it was somehow the best week i couldve picked to just COMPLETELY miss work apparently so its fine i guess #sidebote dont try to do taxes while sick. i didnt end up completing them but it was funny i even thought i was capable #is this comprehensivle is this legible idk i just want to make kaeya be miserable and forced to let someone take care of him abt it #that is soup for Me. in my Soul. #kaeya be like 'wtf treating me like a little kid' when he said he wanted to be taken care of in the summer event like 2 yrs ago #other people may have forgotten but i have Not i will Never. this man will complain about having adult responsibilities #and then when someone tries to take care of him or do things for him out of kindness hes like HAHA WAIT NOW HOLD ON- #little fool make up your mind. why are you so everything always #kaeya be like relying on someone for something under no guise of professional matters? in MY life? i dont think so #(diluc jean lisa and rosaria will remember this (and not let him get away with it)) #and klee too but like shes little baby she doesnt even understand any of this and he would feel extremely mean rejecting kindness from #a little kid. so sometimes she brings him her funny little toast for breakfast and he says awwww thank you :)

[mainfaggot]

another shit fucking day but in the most casual way possible bc all i did was sulk study cry study sulk and finally, sulk in the shower. chai next and then bed . fuck my stupid baka life forrealsies

#i almost had an argument w my mother over nothing at one point bc i was so anxious about nothing and everything at once and well #i keep thinking. idk what im doing anything for anymore #like when we were arguing i was like wait what if she brings up how shes giving me a ride to uni multiple times this week #and then i was like wait if she says that. I'll just tell her not to. and then ill skip class. and then ill drop my classes and get a refund #and then ill drop out of uni. and then ill kill myself! #mind you i was thinking about all of this and the argument didnt even go in that direction in the end bc it was over very quickly #ljke. what ks wrong with me #i keep thinking that if my parents get pissed at me for being good for nothing despite me trying my hardest not to be #i really will end it all finally like Actually #bc i dont understand anymore. why are they paying for my stupid medication and tuition #theyre too nice to me #i know they expect me to send them money in their ideal imagined scenario in which i get a good job after getting a masters degree #and i know they expect that I'll take care of them when theyre old bc in their ideal. imagined. scenario. i 1) dont off myself in the next #few years 2) am not a lesbian who ruins the whole family dynamic by coming out and 3) get a well paying job and a husband #so. so yeah #but right NOW theyre nice to me and they take care of me but also i think everything is pointless but i try anyway because they take care #of me and they want me to be well but how am i supposed to be Get Well if i don't believe in myself #like i dont think thats possible really. #maybe a tiny bit? like maybe i won't be Well but i can be better. yeah i can do that #so i guess thats why im still trying #but then it's like. being Better is so. marginally different from being at rock bottom in a way #like yeah its significant improvement clinically but to me it's still casually miserable in its own unique way bc it's better but its still #very much present lingering choking me etc #so that brings me to the following: #im trying so hard but for what exactly? 'just keep going!' but at what cost? but why when im still like this? #z.post

[waloeders]

gm

thinkin of them <3

#jupiter.speaks #❤️.dion #❤️.joshua #> if i havent said before. giant polycule mcgee here #> not mid tho shes awesome n kinda reminds me of an irl friend lmao #> i think she was confirmed to be like 16 in the book abt ff16? so always sus when ppl bring her up in relation to joshua #> i get why- they had a cute hug scene! but he is like 28 here lets be fr #> love the way they both react to getting a hug its make so emotional. joshuas so glad to receive affection n dion is so surprised #> like yes boys u do infact deserve good things. crazy that #> also just to clarify when i say i get why i mean the game is dreadful for giving out canon ages. u gotta do like in relation to joshua #> im so fr thats how i do all my timeline maths 😭 oh how old was joshua here? 10? great. wonderful. do not tell me the year of the realm #> i dont understand the calendar year in xvi and im too scared to find out. why did they only start counting ~800yrs ago

[kkyaka]

I wish people wanted me to be their friend :/

#ignore me lol just feeling sad #tried to meet up with one of my friends from high school and she kinda just blew me off #we were roommates in college before she dropped out #but once we got to college it felt like she just left me in the dust #she would hang out with her cousin all the time #and she would hang out with other people without me that we knew #she never really wanted to do anything with me #and i was always the one trying to initiate to hang out #i cant even remember if she ever did #i just dont understand why no one wants to be my friend #am i really that annoying? or that bad of a person? or so good at bringing negative energy? #i just wish i knew why i cant keep my friends #and why people rarely reach out to me #🥝.rambles

[taylovelinus]

ugh I had a friend today, who is famous for going scorched earth, decide to go scorched earth with me. shocking i know, but still, hate to see it

#okay SO. our friend group wanted to go to a party last night but this friend she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to go #she works REALLY long hours and goes to bed very early and the party didnt start until late #and on top of that someone she has beef with was going to be there. AND that person asked me to not bring my friend #I'm good friends with both of them and didn't want to pick a side and i've been stuck in the middle for months #so it all added up and we figured she honestly wouldn't want to go anyway with all things considered: too late + has beef + 40 min drive #but no. she saw the posts on people's stories and she was livid. and I for whatever reason and bearing the brunt of the rage #despite going w 2 other friends who are also in our gc. and i'm not even like the one that's closest to her but okay #and dont get me wrong if i were in her shoes I'd feel left out too. like yes I feel bad yes I fucked up #but idk she's vague posting about me (us?) on her instagram and its like. we do literally everything with her and we adore her #is it worth going scorched earth over? idk #but she has her own insecurities and issues and so I understand why she acts the way she acts. but it still sucks