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#I fucking. forgot Karkat’s horns
puddleorganism · 15 days
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I couldn’t help it. Little comic about my hs au
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dewwshi · 2 years
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@davekatweek 2022, day 6: meteor!
things run slow during the journey. sometimes the quiet moment picking out a game feels more important than the game night itself.
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genderchrisisspeaks · 24 days
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Karkles
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thewertsearch · 1 year
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CG: WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT GOING AFTER THE QUEEN'S RING.
Rumbled.
Terezi has been planning OP3R4T1ON: SM4CK J4CK right under Karkat’s nose. How much does he know, and how much is she going to spill? 
GC: TH3 WHOL3 PO1NT 1S TO D3STROY TH3 R1NG SO J4CK DO3SNT G3T 1T CG: WHY WOULD WE WANT TO DO THAT, JACK'S AN ALLY. GC: 4LSO GC: TH3 M1SS1ON SORT OF 1NVOLV3S 3X1L1NG J4CK TOO
Karkat’s busy with Regisurp, and can’t keep tabs on everyone. Terezi could probably exile Jack without his approval - but she’s choosing to be honest about her intentions. 
I think she respects his leadership more than she’s letting on. 
CG: THIS IS BULLSHIT. CG: WE'RE NOT EXILING JACK, HE'S COOL. GC: K4RK4T, H3 1S NOT TH4T COOL! CG: YES HE IS, HE'S A TOTAL BADASS WITH A FUCK TON OF BLADES AND SHIT, AND HE'S HELPING US OUT.
Karkat can’t help but trust his blood brother - and while he probably should be more skeptical, I can’t fault him for idolizing the first person who didn’t take issue with his mutation. 
Sure, he’s a little stab-happy, but he relented after only a light wounding. And his intel has been INCREDIBLY USEFUL, TEREZI. REALLY, I THINK YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS OF OUR HEMOFRATERNAL BOND. 
GC: OK, 1 TH1NK 1TS PR3TTY CUT3 TH4T YOU SORT OF LOOK UP TO H1M L1K3 TH4T GC: BUT S3R1OUSLY, 1 DO NOT G3T 4 GOOD F33L1NG FROM H1M! GC: H3 K1ND OF CG: STINKS? CG: LET ME ACTED SHOCKED LIKE I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. CG: O: CG: FUCK I FORGOT MY HORNS, I ALWAYS FORGET THEM CG: O:B
Karkat, we all know you’re being cute on purpose. 
GC: H3 SM3LLS R34LLY CL34N 4ND SH1NY 4ND D4RK D4RK D444RK L1K3 4N O1L SL1CK 4ND TH3R3 1S 4 T1NY H1NT OF L1COR1C3 TH3R3 TOO GC: 1TS MOR3 L1K3 GC: TH3 W4Y H3 MOV3S GC: 1 SM3LL H1S SMOOTH MOT1ONS 4ND TH3 W4Y H3 SQU1NTS H1S 3Y3S 4ND 1T G1V3S M3 TH1S R34LLY N3RVOUS F33L1NG
We, of course, know how dangerous Jack is. The kids’ session - not to mention the Intermission - have taught us that the Double Archagent is not to be fucked with, in any of his incarnations.. 
Karkat might want to listen to the Seer of Mind on this one. 
GC: H3 H4S ST4BB3D YOU ON MOR3 TH4N ON3 OCC4S1ON! [...] CG: OK, WELL I KNOW FOR A FACT THE THIRD TIME WAS ACCIDENTAL. CG: ANYWAY YOU'VE BEATEN THE SHIT OUT OF ME A FEW TIMES YOURSELF. GC: BUT 1 D1DN'T DR4W BLOOD!
Sorry, but what the actual fuck is going on between these two. 
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ranchu-star · 1 year
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i saw that one post of what the trolls would have as instruments, which was pretty cool but some i didn't agree with as much, so im just making my own list, with some that are the same and some that are different!
aradia: still bagpipes, i agree that it's an instrument she would love and cherish for its weirdness and relation to death. she would also try learning how to play the organ, for the same reason.
tavros: the ukulele, to add more he's probably really good at it! he only plays as a hobby though, and only for himself.
sollux: the melodica, he found out about it thought it was cool and learned a bit, he can only do some songs though.
karkat: still the drums, i agree with everything from the original post.
nepeta: still the ocarina, i agree with everything from the original post.
kanaya: the keytar, yes a cello fits her being elegant but kanaya is a pretty spunky gal, it just fits her and her theme really well to me, she's extremely good at it, she would be very awkward playing it in front of people though.
terezi: still the accordion, i agree with everything from the original post.
vriska: still the electric guitar, i agree with everything from the original post.
equius: i think the original post also said the harp, but im not sure? anyways he would try to play the harp, maybe any god tier equius would be able to using void powers to subdue their strength.
gamzee: ok here's where i really disagree with the og post, he would not play the clown horn because he has like 10000 of those, he would play the glockenspiel. it fits his silly clowness, and he would be able to play it sitting down on the ground which is a plus, the only other instrument he would probably play is the tongue drum, which would be pre flarp and post homestuck, my reasoning is that he would probably play it on the shore waiting for goat dad when he was a (younger) kid, forgot about it due to clown drugs, and started playing it again on earth c.
eridan: the electric violin, he fucking loves it and would use it as bragging rights whenever. he would probably have a custom one with a color palette he likes.
feferi: a flute! she wouldn't play it often due to the fact she would have to be out of water to play it, but when she has the opportunity she takes it.
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sansxfuckyou · 1 year
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Fuck are you looking at?!
Summary: The Troll and human societies have merged, and Karkat gets her grubby little mitts on some hormones, her long time Troll friends don't react ideally though, and the rest of the kids in school are sure to pick on her daily.
Warnings: Bullying, school, swearing, needle mention, gym class, blood, bad friends are actually good friends, gore, Kanaya cuts someone in half, check tags for further warnings.
Authors Note: transfem Karkat writing slump has been abolished, I'm still gonna write more though, definitely, and @octobergothyc, while I was writing this, I was using the transfem Karkat edit you made as reference, kind of, also I have no clue how gender changing hormones work so bear with inaccuracy.
Her steps were soft as she walked, it took a lot of self control to keep it that way. Her hair was constantly falling in her eyes as well, even though it was pinned up. Her breathing was shaky, a light quaver underneath the steadiness.
And she felt claustrophobic, maybe it was the body paint she wore, a tanned tone.
A hand and her shoulder brought her back to reality, she snapped to look at whoever placed it there. She could feel the body paint crackle as she did so, did she bring a spare bottle?
She found John, a heavy sigh of relief shot through her systems.
"You good Karkat?" John asked her gently, she nodded slightly, her hood almost coming off, she propped it back up again.
"Yeah, fine, just disappointed that the doctors couldn't give me stronger hormones," Karkat said with a bit of a huff, crossing her arms sharply, she kicked the ground a bit, "and that said hormones make me feel nauseated unless I pop a pill."
"Trolls work differently than humans," John said as though it would be a comfort to Karkat, she furrowed her brows a bit, John quickly tried to rebound, "of course, I'm sure that one of your friends could make it work better, probably."
"They're all dumb as bricks John, nothing in their pan." Karkat said, she seemed a bit apprehensive at the topic of her friends, sure, Vriskas finally getting some hormones opposite to Karkats to help make her a bit more butch, but other than that, she doesn't really keep in touch with anyone.
They all say shes bitching when she complains about feeling nauseated, or that she just needs a break. Her body still hasn't fully acclimated to the chromosome reformation and the injections, her friends just don't get it. Except for Vriska, and even though she despises Vriska after the big fight, that's the only one who gets it.
"Right, sorry, forgot," John said right before an ear piercing bell rang, it had Karkat hissing and covering her ears, John looked up instinctively before checking his schedule, "I have chemistry, you?"
Karkat looked down at the list in her hands, claws filed down. She went from last to first, muttering the name of each subject. It took her a second before she reached the first class.
And her eyes widened in horror.
"Gym..." Karkat uttered quietly, she would have to take off her jacket, her horns, no one can know, she'll be totaled.
She'll get decked in the schnoz if anyone finds out, she'll get curb stomped to death if anyone finds out. Her grip on the list tightens until her blunt claws tear it, tears welling up in her glossy eyes. She stuffed the list back in her pocket, John had already left not wanting to be late, the torrent of people around her caused the claustrophobia to intensify.
She gripped her hood tightly, pulling it down as she made her way to the gymnasium. The rim of her socks started to feel tight, and the shirt on her chest she always wore was constricting. The skirt felt like it clenched her waist like a bear trap, and the bracelet she wore was constricting around her wrist.
Karkat gave a yelp as she hit the floor, some ass shouldered her to the ground. She snarled to herself as she picked herself up from the floor into a sitting position. A chorus of gasps had her freezing, she felt her tail twitch as it coiled around her waist, she released a gasp of breath as well. Her eyes were locked on the ground as she reached to feel for her hood, finding it had been knocked off her head. Instead of being normal and freaking out, going to hide her horns like a normal Troll would, she felt around them, a fake look of shock on her face.
Tears of disbelief streaming down her face and spreading cracks between body paint further apart proved her attempt to fit in faulty.
"Weirdo!" One kid shouted from the back, that had Karkat not even angry, just fucking done.
She slowly stood up, pulling off her hoodie and tying it around her waist. She nudged the pins in her hair further back to try and force it in place, pointed ears now visible. Another voice shouted weirdo, another voice shouted freak, she wasn't listening.
"Fuck are you looking?!" Karkat barked, the venom in her tone had a few kids facing her front quivering.
"You, Alternian bitch!" A different kid shouted, she snapped to stare at him, as she walked over, her steps were heavy, but it felt completely natural for her frame and it had the kids scared.
"What did you just call me?" Karkat asked as she pressed a blunt claw to the kids chest, she could feel his heart race and bang against his rib cage.
"An, an Alternian bitch! Cause that's exactly what you are-!" The kid tried to exclaim, before he could go any further in his speech, Karkat slammed a fist into his face.
He stumbled back groaning, he fell to the floor with a broken nose, crimson spilling across his face and Karkats fist. She grinned a toothy grin, her teeth that were once dull had sharpened with hormones, she looked like a shark. She heard a murmur as the crowd got larger, she cracked her neck to the sides, turning to the group behind her.
"Who else wants to call me a bitch?" Karkat asked, everyone seemed to inch a step back as she pushed a step forward until a jock decided to step forward.
"I do, bitch," the jock said, Karkats demeanor went from balls and bitches to wusses and whips, both equally shitty euphemisms she thought of once.
"Ah fuck," was all she could get out before a fist was slammer into her sternum sending her stumbling, she still held her ground.
As she tried to catch her breath, the jock advanced, throwing yet another punch at her face. She felt a tooth come loose, she spat it into her hand with a mouthful of candy red. A chant of 'fight, fight, fight' began and another punch met her abdomen, she screamed on this one as it hit all her sensitive organs and broke her tail.
She went staggering back, forcing her balance as blood trickled from under her shirt where her tail was broken. Her tactile tail fell loose, it hung under her skirt, the tip barbed and poisonous. The jock flinched for a second at the tail, it whipped furiously despite the gash, it halted momentarily. Her energy was draining, she would surely die here if gravity kept forcing blood to her tail, it poured onto the floor.
"Do it, or are you scared of knocking out a girl," Karkat said, the jock raised his fist and stepped closer, unable to throw it at Karkat despite the chanting, she quirked a brow, "it looks like I was right."
That must've been the final straw.
As one second she was grinning and the next a fist was flying at her face. She flinched and pressed her eyes painfully shut, and she heard it make contact, but didn't feel it. She opened her eyes and saw two kids in hoodies, they one wore masks and hats, one had long, black hair, while the other was more of a choppy bob.
"Who the fuck," the one with long hair started, gripping the jocks fist until a crack sounded off, the jock cried, "do you think you are," they released the jocks fist before winding up for a punch, "hitting a girl!"
When the punch landed, it sent the jock fucking flying, he hit a few kids as he skidded on the ground.
This all had Karkat, very, very confused.
And then they turned to Karkat, and she could tell who they were right away.
Equius and Terezi, blowing their cover just for her. Terezi, pulled the mask from her face, her skin was a bit clammy and her red shades still stood out, she was grinning. Equius removed his mask as well, although he wasn't grinning, he seemed rather nervous and was starting to sweat as well.
"How did you even, why would you," Karkat began, impossibly confused as she spoke, Terezi started.
"We're in gym together and heard your name, he didn't want you getting lost, so we came running," Terezi explained, the crowd only stared in wonderment, Equius was wiping blood on his Indigo hoodie, he seemed uncomfortable, "and we saw you here, kicking absolute ass until that guy decided to hit a girl."
"Its not the right thing to hit anyone really," Equius stated in his defense, it had Karkat smiling a little bit as he had just sent someone flying.
"As Equius demonstrated by sending someone flying across the room, hitting isn't right," Terezi said sarcastically, Equius only stared at the ground, "but, really, we're gonna miss gym, I don't want my friend late on the first day."
The three decided to turn to leave the room, only be frozen at a stare that bore into their souls. Karkat snapped back first, only to be greeted by the same jock, a broken nose in place. Said jock was furious and coming at Karkat fast, even Equius flinched that time, Terezi simply placed the handle of her cane to the jocks chest. He flinched as the wood was pressed against his chest, she shot a blind glare from her behind her glasses before speaking.
"You smell scared, and I bet you taste like a wimp, for a jock you sure are a weakling," Terezi stated, a grin revealing her shark like teeth, now, instead of leaving as the secrets were exposed, this time the jock pushed the handle to the side and stepped forward as Terezi retracted her cane, pulling the sheath on the blade off, this time the jock flinched.
"You wouldn't..." He stammered out as Terezi held up the hidden blade, she leaned on her shoulder.
"I don't know, would I, wouldn't I, that is the question," Terezi said, the crowd started an uproar of murmurs, she turned to see what the problem was, ah, Kanaya, wielding her lipstick with a big splash of red on her dress and her disguise simply shredded, "but she will."
Kanaya slowly walked up to the jock, she was furious, she pressed her lipstick to the small of his back, painting small black increments across his waistline. The jock was frozen at the boldness Kanaya had, an Alternian, just up and painting lipstick onto him, what the fuck is up with these weirdos? She closed the tube before pressing it to his sternum, her glare was sharp, like a hundred serrated edges tearing into him.
"Alright, you either stop bullying my friend or stop containing your organs," Kanaya threatened pulling her lipstick tube closer to her own form as the jock formed an answer.
"Things like you don't deserve to go without being bullied," the jock stated firmly, that had Karkats ears drooping, that had Kanayas grip tightening.
"Fine," Kanaya said, closing her eyes and twisting the tube in her grasp slowly, "be that way then."
And in a flash the jock was in two and Kanaya had yet another splash of crimson on her outfit. Organs spilled from between the slice as his torso fell to the floor, legs collapsing next. The lipstick in her grip was only a chainsaw for a second, but the crowd dispersed in the second they saw it.
After taking a few deep breaths she turned to Karkat before pulling her in close for a tight hug. Kanaya was shaking slightly, and the damp splash of crimson on her shirt was sure to ruin it, but she didn't care. Her friend was alive and that was all that mattered in that moment, Karkat on the other hand was having a hard time understanding all the affection.
"What the fuck Kanaya?" Karkat asked as she gently pushed Kanaya away.
"What?" Kanaya asked gently.
"You just cut someone in half!" Karkat exclaimed, gesturing to corpse on the ground, it twitched weakly as organs pulsed, he had to be alive partially.
"I didn't want my friend getting hurt, so I did what I had to," Kanaya said, sniffling a little bit, "I wish I was in gym so I could make sure you don't get hurt?"
"Kanaya, you cut someone in half, in a school, in front of a hundred kids, Kanaya, you're getting expelled," Karkat said after taking a deep breath, she was unsure how fucked her friends were, but this bumped it up.
"I don't care, and I'm sure Equius and Terezi will vouch for me, right guys?" Kanaya asked, turning to Equius and Terezi.
"Absolutely," Equius said, wiping the sweat from his brow.
"For sure,"Terezi said, returning the blade to its sheath.
"But I thought you guys hated me," Karkat asked, Terezi, Equius and Kanaya all shared glances.
"We never hated you, we just need some time to, get used to it, its different," Equius explained, Terezi elbowed him lightly.
"But how come you stopped talking to me for a bit?" Karkat asked, very concerned about that fact.
"Principal confiscated my PDA," Equius said.
"I lost my laptop," Terezi said.
"I broke mine in a bar fight," Kanaya said, everyone stared at her.
"But, I, what about the others?" Karkat asked, trying her very damndest to piece it together.
"Want to talk about it after school?" Terezi asked gently, sighing a bit, her entire form easing as she did so.
"Yeah," Karkat replied with.
"We'll meet up at Roses then," Kanaya said, everyone gave a prompt nod before leaving to their designated class.
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pesterloglog · 5 months
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Karkat Vantas, Terezi Pyrope
Act 5, page 2574-2576
CG: OK I GOT YOUR MESSAGE
CG: THANKS FOR NOT HASSLING ME ABOUT IT IN ONE OF THE MEMOS TO GET MY ATTENTION, I APPRECIATE THAT.
CG: UNLESS YOU DID, BUT IT WAS IN A FUTURE MEMO I HAVEN'T WRITTEN YET, IN WHICH CASE HAVE A BIGTIME FUCK YOU ABOUT THAT IN ADVANCE.
GC: NO 1 D1DNT BUG YOU 4BOUT 1T 1N YOUR STUP1D M3MOS!
GC: TH3Y 4R3 4NNOY1NG 4ND 1M T1R3D OF G3TT1NG B4NN3D FOR NO R34SON
CG: POSTING IN THEM AT ALL IS THE REASON. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO REPLY MEMOS PERIOD, THAT'S THE REASON.
GC: M4YB3 1 W1LL ST4RT MY OWN BULL3T1N BO4RD
GC: 4ND 3V3RYON3 W1LL B3 4LLOW3D TO R3PLY 4NY T1M3 TH3Y W4NT
GC: 3XC3PT FOR GUYS W1TH NUBBY HORNS, OH NO, TH3Y W1LL NOT B3 4BL3 TO R3PLY 4T 4LL
GC: GRUMPY K4RK4TS W1LL B3 3XPR3SSLY FORB1DD3N FROM R41NBOW RUMPUS P4RTYTOWN!
GC: >:P
CG: SOUNDS LAME.
GC: BY TH3 W4Y TH4T W1LL B3 TH3 N4M3 OF TH3 BO4RD 1N C4S3 1T W4SNT CL34R
CG: YEAH I GOT THAT.
CG: THIS IS AN EMPTY THREAT, BECAUSE IF YOU MADE A BOARD AT ANY POINT ON THE TIMELINE I WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE IT RIGHT HERE AND READ THE WHOLE THING ALREADY.
CG: WAIT...
CG: OH GOD, YOU ACTUALLY DID.
GC: Y3SSSSS!
GC: FUTUR3 T3R3Z1 1S LOOK1NG PR3TTY COOL R1GHT 4BOUT NOW >8]
CG: LOOK I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.
CG: WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT GOING AFTER THE QUEEN'S RING.
GC: W3LL
GC: TH3 TH1NG TH4T 1S 4LL 4BOUT 1T 1S
GC: W3 H4V3 TO GO 4FT3R TH3 QU33NS R1NG
GC: 1T 1S 4 N3W M1SS1ON
CG: BUT WE'RE STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYING TO PULL OFF REGISURP WITH JACK.
CG: WHY DON'T WE TAKE IT ONE MISSION AT A TIME.
GC: Y34H 4BOUT TH4T
GC: TH3 WHOL3 PO1NT 1S TO D3STROY TH3 R1NG SO J4CK DO3SNT G3T 1T
CG: WHY WOULD WE WANT TO DO THAT, JACK'S AN ALLY.
GC: 4LSO
GC: TH3 M1SS1ON SORT OF 1NVOLV3S 3X1L1NG J4CK TOO
GC: >:|
CG: THIS IS BULLSHIT.
CG: WE'RE NOT EXILING JACK, HE'S COOL.
GC: K4RK4T, H3 1S NOT TH4T COOL!
CG: YES HE IS, HE'S A TOTAL BADASS WITH A FUCK TON OF BLADES AND SHIT, AND HE'S HELPING US OUT.
GC: OK, 1 TH1NK 1TS PR3TTY CUT3 TH4T YOU SORT OF LOOK UP TO H1M L1K3 TH4T
GC: BUT S3R1OUSLY, 1 DO NOT G3T 4 GOOD F33L1NG FROM H1M!
GC: H3 K1ND OF
CG: STINKS?
CG: LET ME ACTED SHOCKED LIKE I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.
CG: O:
CG: FUCK I FORGOT MY HORNS, I ALWAYS FORGET THEM
CG: O:B
GC: NO!
GC: W3LL
GC: SORT OF
GC: H3 DO3SNT SM3LL B4D 4CTU4LLY
GC: H3 SM3LLS R34LLY CL34N 4ND SH1NY 4ND D4RK D4RK D444RK L1K3 4N O1L SL1CK 4ND TH3R3 1S 4 T1NY H1NT OF L1COR1C3 TH3R3 TOO
GC: 1TS MOR3 L1K3
GC: TH3 W4Y H3 MOV3S
GC: 1 SM3LL H1S SMOOTH MOT1ONS 4ND TH3 W4Y H3 SQU1NTS H1S 3Y3S 4ND 1T G1V3S M3 TH1S R34LLY N3RVOUS F33L1NG
CG: WHAT A SURPRISE, YOU ARE DRAGGING YOUR SCHIZOPHRENIC NOSE INTO THIS, WHAT AN OUTSTANDING CHARACTER WITNESS.
CG: OBJECTION YOUR TYRANNY! HAHAHA
GC: >:D
CG: THE BOTTOM LINE IS I AM NOT GOING TO EXILE JACK BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN SMELL MALICE OFF AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE.
GC: K4RK4T, H3S 4 J3RK!
GC: H3 H4S ST4BB3D YOU ON MOR3 TH4N ON3 OCC4S1ON!
CG: SOME OF THOSE STABBINGS WERE ACCIDENTAL!
GC: >8|
CG: OK, WELL I KNOW FOR A FACT THE THIRD TIME WAS ACCIDENTAL.
CG: ANYWAY YOU'VE BEATEN THE SHIT OUT OF ME A FEW TIMES YOURSELF.
GC: BUT 1 D1DN'T DR4W BLOOD!
GC: 1 M34N 1 COULD H4V3 TO S4T1SFY MY CUR1OS1TY >:]
GC: BUT 1 D1DNT 4S 4 COURT3SY TO YOU
GC: S1NC3 YOU ST1LL W4NT TO K33P 1T 4 S3CR3T FROM M3 L1K3 4 P3TUL4NT L1TTL3 W1GGL3R >:P
CG: HEY I PROMISED I'D TELL YOU.
CG: I JUST
CG: WASN'T READY OK
GC: W3LL
GC: 1TS OK
GC: 1 KNOW WH4T COLOR YOUR BLOOD 1S 4NYW4Y >:]
CG: NO YOU DON'T
GC: YUP, 1 TOT4LLY DO
CG: LIES, I'VE BEEN VERY CAREFUL.
CG: NOT LIKE ALL YOU CLASSLESS SHITBAGS WHO SLOP YOUR BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE EVERY GODDAMN MINUTE LIKE IT'S SOME WEIRD FETISH.
GC: 3RR
GC: HM >:\
CG: WHAT
GC: BL4R
GC: HOLD ON
CG: WHAT IS IT?
GC: 1 S41D HOLD ON! SOM3T1M3S 1TS H4RD TO P1CK OUT TH3 L3TT3RS FROM TH3 HOLO PROJ3CT1ON
GC: 1 N33D TO G3T 4 CLOS3R LOOK!
CG: ARE YOU LICKING YOUR GLASSES AGAIN?
CG: I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT, IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING.
GC: NOMP, WH4TH WOULB EBER G1TH YOU TH4TH 1BE4???
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3
GC: TH4T 1S B3TT3R
GC: 1TS MUCH 34S13R TO R34D YOUR COLOR TH1S W4Y
GC: YOUR DR4B D1RTY P4V3M3NT GR4Y
GC: ON TOP OF BR1GHT C4NDY R3D, L1K3 4 SH1NY LOLL1POP
GC: DO3S TH4T SOUND F4M1L14R K4RK4T??
CG: YES, I'M EXTREMELY FAMILIAR WITH THIS SORT OF NONSENSE BY NOW, SURE.
GC: NO 1 M34N
GC: GR4Y ON R3D
GC: L1K3 TH3 W4Y YOUR SK1N
GC: CONC34LS YOUR BLOOD
CG: WHAT
GC: C4NDY C4NDY R3D!
GC: L1K3 YOUR PL4N3T
GC: YOU H4V3 STRONG CH3RRY COUGH SYRUP 1N YOUR V31NS! 1T 1S COMPL3T3LY D3L1C1OUS.
CG: WHO TOLD YOU
CG: DID JACK TELL YOU
GC: NO H3 DO3SNT T4LK MUCH
GC: 1 F1GUR3D 1T OUT MYS3LF
CG: HOW
GC: 1 GOT 4 CLOS3R LOOK
GC: R3M3MB3R >:]
CG: NO
GC: PFFF YOU 4R3 PL4Y1NG SO DUMB, YOU KNOW 3X4CTLY WH4T 1 4M T4LK1NG 4BOUT
CG: I CLEANED UP MY WOUND AND CHANGED MY SHIRT BEFORE I EVEN MET YOU, I'VE BEEN EXTREMELY CAREFUL.
CG: SO YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FILL ME IN.
GC: 1T W4S WH3N 1 GOT CLOS3 3NOUGH
GC: TO SM3LL 1T UND3R YOUR SK1N
GC: PL34S3 K4RK4T, DO NOT PR3T3ND TH4T YOU FORGOT 4BOUT OUR L1TTL3 MOM3NT
CG: WHOA
CG: YOU MEAN
CG: DURING
CG: FUCK.
CG: OK SHHHHHHHHHH SHH SHH SHH...
CG: LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THIS, NOT HERE.
GC: TH1S 1SNT 4 M3MO!
GC: 1TS 4 PR1V4T3 CORR3SPOND3NC3 JUST B3TW33N US, R3M3MB3R?
CG: I KNOW BUT
CG: DAMMIT
CG: WRITING ALL THESE MEMOS HAS MADE ME PARANOID.
CG: IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL SECURE CHATTING ABOUT IT OVER THE CLIENT, I DUNNO.
CG: WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT IN PERSON.
GC: HOW "1N P3RSON" DO YOU M34N?
GC: UH OH LOOK 4T MY 3Y3BROWS G3TT1NG C4RR13D 4W4Y H3R3
GC: >;]
GC: > ;]
GC: >;]
GC: > ;]
GC: >;]
GC: > ;]
GC: K4RK4T H3LP, TH3Y 4R3 OUT OF CONTROL!!!
CG: THOSE ARE EYEBROWS?
CG: I THOUGHT THEY WERE HORNS.
GC: TH3Y 4R3 HORNS TOO
GC: TH3Y 4R3 4R3 WH4T3V3R 1 W4NT TH3M TO B3
CG: ?:B
GC: DONT CH4NG3 TH3 SUBJ3CT BY B31NG CUT3!
CG: WELL APPARENTLY I JUST CAN'T FUCKING HELP MYSELF CAN I.
GC: NOP3
CG: HOW CAN YOU EVEN SMELL SO DAMN WELL, ANYWAY.
CG: YOU GIVE ME A HARD TIME ABOUT BEING COY ABOUT SHIT
CG: BUT WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR CRAZY SENSES YOU'RE SO VAGUE, IT'S LIKE TRYING TO DECIPHER THE DAILY HOROSCOPE RIDDLE.
CG: OR THE RIDDLES FOR ALL 48 SIGNS COMBINED.
GC: 444RGH
GC: YOU 4R3 4 R3L3NTL3SS SUBJ3CT CH4NG3R! >XO
GC: F1N3, 1TS OK 1F YOU DONT W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T
GC: GOD YOU 4R3 SOOOOO SHY FOR 4N 4NGRY GUY WHO W4NTS TO B3 4 B1GSHOT L34D3R, 1TS R1D1CULOUS
CG: LOOK
CG: WE'LL TALK
CG: I PROMISE
CG: WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY SOME STUFF ABOUT YOURSELF FOR A CHANGE
CG: AND CUT ME SOME SLACK.
GC: OK >:]
GC: 1M SUR3 1 M3NT1ON3D 4FT3R YOU M3T MY SPR1T3
GC: 1 L34RN3D FROM H3R THROUGH MY DR34MS
GC: B3FOR3 SH3 H4TCH3D!
CG: YEAH, BUT IT'S STILL SO VAGUE.
CG: THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
CG: HOW ABOUT A STRAIGHT ANSWER?
GC: OK, 1LL TRY
GC: WH3N 1 W3NT BL1ND, TH4TS WH3N 1 F1RST WOK3 UP
GC: 4ND MY LUSUS H3LP3D M3 W4K3 UP!
GC: SORT OF
CG: YOU MEAN ON PROSPIT'S MOON.
GC: Y3S
GC: BUT
GC: 3XC3PT FOR 4 V3RY BR13F MOM3NT...
GC: 1 W4S BL1ND 1N MY DR34MS TOO
GC: TH3 DR34M S3LF 1M4G3 1 PROJ3CT C4N'T S33, B3C4US3 1 GU3SS D33P DOWN 1 DONT R34LLY W4NT TO
CG: WHY IS THAT.
CG: IS IT OUT OF SPITE TO VRISKA?
CG: I KNOW I'D PROBABLY BE COOL WITH IT OUT OF SPITE MORE THAN ANYTHING.
GC: NO
GC: NOT TH4T TH3R3 W4SNT SOM3 S4T1SF4CT1ON 1N B31NG OK4Y W1TH 1T
GC: GR4T3FUL 4BOUT 1T 3V3N!
GC: 4ND M4K1NG SUR3 SH3 KN3W TH4T
GC: BUT TH4TS NOT 1T
GC: TH3 D4Y 1T H4PP3N3D W4S TH3 F1RST T1M3 1 3V3R H34RD FROM MY LUSUS
GC: SH3 WOK3 M3 UP, 4ND 3V3R S1NC3 H4S B33N T34CH1NG M3 4 D1FF3R3NT W4Y TO S33
GC: 4 D1FF3R3NT W4Y TO P3RC31V3 3V3RYTH1NG 1 GU3SS, NOT JUST 1N 4 S3NSORY W4Y
CG: OK, SO WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME ANY OF THIS?
GC: YOU WOULDNT H4V3 GOTT3N 1T!
GC: 3V3N NOW YOU ST1LL DONT R34LLY
GC: YOU H4V3 NOT 3V3N S33N SK414 Y3T
CG: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP.
GC: 1 DONT KNOW!
GC: SOM3TH1NG D1FF3R3NT DO3S 1T FOR 3V3RYBODY
CG: HOW MANY OF US ARE AWAKE NOW?
CG: HOW MUCH OF THE FUTURE DID YOU "SEE" BEFORE WE STARTED
CG: IN THE CLOUDS, LIKE KANAYA
CG: ALSO HOW DID YOU GO BLIND ANYWAY???
CG: WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE SO CAGEY ABOUT THAT.
CG: I STILL DON'T SEE HOW SHE COULD BLIND YOU WITHOUT BEING ANYWHERE NEAR YOU.
CG: OBVIOUSLY SHE CAN'T CONTROL YOU, SO WHAT GIVES?
GC: K4RK4T SHUT UP!
GC: GOD
GC: HOW 4BOUT 1F
GC: 1 T3LL YOU 4LL 4BOUT TH4T STUFF N3XT T1M3 W3 4R3 "1N P3RSON" >;]
GC: 1N F4CT, 1 W1LL T3LL YOU WH3N YOU W4K3 UP!
GC: UNT1L TH3N 1 W1LL K33P T4BS ON YOU 1N YOUR TOW3R WH1L3 YOU SL33P L1K3 4 L1TTL3 HON3Y P4J4M4'D PUP4 N3STL3D 1N H1S COCOON
CG: WAIT LET ME GUESS.
CG: DO I LOOK ADORABLE?????????
GC: 4CTU4LLY
GC: YOU LOOK K1ND OF L1K3 4 B1G P1L3 OF SM3LLY B4RF
CG: WOW, WHAT THE FUCK.
GC: OF COOOOUUUUURS3 YOU DO, DUMB4SS >:]
CG: OH
CG: THEN
CG: GOOD I GUESS
GC: OK 1V3 GOT TO FLY
GC: DONT WORRY 4BOUT TH3 R1NG M1SS1ON
GC: YOU C4N ST4Y BUSY W1TH R3G1SURP
GC: 1 W1LL ORG4N1Z3 TH3 N3W M1SS1ON MYS3LF
GC: L4T3R!
CG: WAIT
CG: TEREZI
CG: PLEASE DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT MY BLOOD.
CG: I WANT TO TELL THEM, I MEAN I WILL TELL THEM.
CG: LATER
CG: ONCE THEY RESPECT ME AS A LEADER.
GC: OK
GC: 1 W1LL K33P TH4T S3CR3T 1F YOU K33P TH1S ON3 1 T3LL YOU
GC: WH1CH 1S TH4T
GC: B3TW33N YOU 4ND M3 K4RK4T
GC: 1 TH1NK TH3Y 4LR34DY DO
GC: BY3!
GC: <3
CG: BYE
gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
CG: <3
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
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blu-erh · 5 years
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tiloulou · 4 years
Note
You're art is so beautiful and lovely So I can't draw for shit but I have this idea That Kanaya and karkat have matching shirts Karkats says "if lost return to Kanaya" And Kanaya's says "I am Kanaya" Do you think. You could perhaps. Interpret this??
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the first thing I thought of is MILF Kanaya ngl
gonna put the dialogue under the Read More in case anyone’s curious
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CG: KANAYA IS THIS BULLSHIT SWEATER REALLY FUCKING NECESSARY.
GA: Why Yes I Find It Rather Advantageous At This Particular Moment
GA: Didn't You Want To Recieve The Attention Of That Strilonde Boy
CG: I MEAN YEAH BUT NOT LIKE THIS.
CG: YOU'RE PARADING ME AROUND IN THIS COMATOSE INDUCING EMBARRASSMENT ARTICLE OF CLOTHING.
CG: WHICH REALLY FUCKING MAKES ME QUESTION IF YOU'RE GENUINELY HELPING ME OUT I.E. SHITTILY
CG: OR IF YOU SEEM TO HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES.
GA: Why What Has Lead You To Such An Conclusion May I Ask
CG: I DONT KNOW MAYBE THE VOMIT GENERATING GOOGLY EYES YOU SEEM TO BE PENETRATING HIS OLDER SISTER WITH.
GA: Hm Quite A Point You Seem To Have Discovered
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD.
CG: YOU'RE LUCKY ME AND MY FUCKING GUARDIAN SEEMS TO THINK YOU'RE A COMPETENT NANNY KANAYA.
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TT: Oh my.
TT: Never have my eyes fallen upon such a gorgeous creature.
TG: i was wondering when you were going to notice her, shes been walking past for 5 minutes now
TG: also
TG: ew
TT: Is that young troll the "Karkat" from your class you were previously describing to me, before I so rudely ignored you for my novel?
TG: oh yeah
TG: hes really shouty and turns red all the time
TG: like a really r-18 tomato on veggie tales
TG: which is a christian show
TG: i never knew until yesterday when egbert told me
TG: subliminal messaging much
TT: Yes, yes.
TT: Covert religious messages aside, how would you like a playdate with this charming young tomato?
TG: what
TG: oh no rose please dont
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June: Hey. Hey, Karkat. Do you want to hang out next week?
Karkat: Of course not, I'd rather saw off my horns and shove them up my nook than doing that.
Karkat: Dave! When are we free to schedule an outing?!
Dave, from the bathroom: Wednesday mornin' we've got to replace Kanaya at the caverns, afternoon's free!
Karkat: We can do Wednesday
June: Crud! I meant just the two of us.
Karkat: Oh.
Karkat: Dave didn't mention you were fighting.
Dave, arriving: That's cause I didn't know we were fighting. What gives?
June: We aren't... It's just...
Karkat: Out with it
June: It's been years since I've hanged out one on one with either of you.
Karkat: And that's a problem because...?
June: You keep suddenly drifting into that snippy bromantic bubble of shout whispered tangents that everyone says is adorable but just turns whoever wants to talk to you into the third wheel
June: The other day you were at it for an hour. Dave literally asked me "dude, when did you get here?" after!
June: And let me tell you, it didn't feel great!!!!!!!!
Dave: Well, damn
Karkat: Wow, Dave seriously forgot you were there? His lack of object permanence is as concerning as it's bugwinged amusing.
Dave, nudging him to make space on the couch: Pot, meet fucking kettle
Dave, sitting down: First order of business, sorry about that.
Dave: Why didn't you say anything before? You've totally been keeping quiet for years about it
June: At first I thought it was temporary, like new relationship fever or something
June: But then it got worse and I didn't know how to bring it up without sounding like a whinny baby
Karkat: There’s no need to worry about that, you always sound like a whinny baby to me
June, grinning: And you always sound like an ass. My bad! You can't help it, you actually are one!
Karkat: Better an ass than an ugly, disproportionate and wrinkly human wiggler
June: Bluuhhhhhhhhh!
Karkat: Bluuuuuhhhh!!!
Dave: Shut up, the baby is you. You two are the ugliest wrinkly babies Earth C's ever seen. It’s a downright scientific marvel. Someone ought to put you out of your misery
Karkat: Are you offering?
Dave, pinching his cheeks and pulling: I'm offering to stretch out that wrinkly baby mug until it's all smooth and velvety. We're going to make a miss Argentina out of this skincare disaster
Karkat: Not if I bite off your impudent digits first, taintlicker.
Dave, moving his hands out of biting range: With those nubby chompers? I almost want to see you try
Karkat: We can arrange that, don't you dare snitch on me when we end up at the E.R. and they wonder aghast about what kind of rabid fiend could have mauled you so fucking badly
June: You're doing it again!
//Dave and Karkat jump in separate directions from being startled
Karkat: Okay. I can see how this could be a problem
Dave: No kidding. In hindsight we should've picked up on it way earlier
June: Just forget it. This isn't going to work
Dave: No way, you want some quality bro time uno a uno? You're getting it
Karkat: I agree with that sentiment. But aren't you forgetting something really fucking important?
Dave: What?
Karkat, makes a gesture:
Dave: Oh, that.
Dave: Fuck.
June: What is it?
Dave: Should we?
Karkat, shrugs:
June: What's going on?
Dave: Okay. So... Karkat gets his panties in a twist when he's alone and there's noise outside the hive
Karkat: And Dave gets all antsy when the hive's quiet
Dave: It's why we started only leaving together in the first place
June: Okay, that's messed up. You realize that it's messed up, right?
Dave: Kind of?
Karkat: I guess???
June: Is there a reason or...?
//Dave and Karkat exchange some more gestures
Dave: You don't have clearance for that intel, Columbo
Karkat: Top secret shit
June: Uhhh
June: Alright
June: Can't one of you hang out with me and the other visits someone else?
June: I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd enjoy a change of pace with Dave and Karkat unit situation
Karkat: Fuck off!!!!
Karkat, facepalms: Why didn't I come up with that idea?
Dave: Dunno, I'm pissed too. Like, it's so easy.
Dave: Shit's not allowed to be this easy. It has to be illegal
June: So...?
Dave: You got yourself a deal
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karkatwaddles · 3 years
Text
Gamzee and Me.
Hey everyone! This is a Murder or sober Gamzee fanfiction with the reader. I love writing fanfictions, and I was originally going to make this just a fanfiction for me, but I decided to share it to the world. Im really proud of it so I hope you all like it! Here we go! TW: Violence, Blood, Injuries, Sober/Murder Gamzee. 
                       honk. 
                                          HONK.
                                                                   honk. 
                                                                                      HONK.
                                                                :o)
The honking had been happening for such a long while, not stopping no matter how far they ran, no matter where they went, the honking just continued. It filled the halls, all the rooms, and it would always get louder. They continued to run, running out of breath, legs hurting as if they would collapse if they took one more step. No matter how far, it felt as if the honking got nothing but louder and closer. It filled their head. Everything was chaos in the meteor, Nepeta, Feferi, Tavros, Eridan, and Equius, they were all dead. Sollux was blind, Kanaya was a rainbow drinker, and Gamzee had… gone insane. He was responsible for the deaths of Nepeta and Equius, and apparently, had been chasing down Karkat for such a long while. Speaking of which, he nor Terezi could be found, and Y/N just wanted to find someone alive….someone sane, they were scared and panicked, especially with the honking, the intense noise of the murderous clown-like troll basically following them. It filled their head, bouncing through their ears and not leaving them alone. As they ran, running through the dark halls, they put their hands over their ears. 
“Fuck fuck fuck!” They said to themselves as they sprinted, as fast as they could, just trying to get away from what seemed to be Gamzee chasing them. Closing their eyes, shutting them tight, they were scared. The (insert blood color here) troll had been running for so long, going through this maze of a meteor. They weren’t even originally supposed to be here, but as the group of 12 trolls had decided to play the game of sgrub, they were dragged along, now stuck there without any way back to their planet. With what happened, their new world, their prize for beating the game was destroyed, they had been living on this meteor, talking to humans and such, trying to help them through their own game, but now, with the start of Gamzee going missing, everything had gone to the worst. More than half of them were dead, injured, or just bat shit crazy. The fear they felt in their chest was like a knife in their chest that kept getting yanked out over and over again. 
Closing their eyes was probably the biggest mistake they had made. There was a reason why the honks seemed to be getting louder as they ran because as they did, they fell down a large flight of stairs. They let out a scream, hitting their bones in the hard edges, and even hitting their forehead. Soon enough though, they landed at the end of the flight, groaning as the pain of falling erupted their body. At least two ribs and his arm were broken, and now they had a gash on their forehead, blood running down their face. 
“Shit..” They mumbled, sitting up against a wall, putting their hand against their bloodied head. They brought their arm out, looking at the blood on their hand before hearing another loud honk. It felt as if the honking had stopped while they were falling, and so when they heard the noise, they jolted, being startled. They looked down the hall, seeing a figure with long curled horns, holding clubs. Their eyes widened and they stood as quick as they could, running right back up the stairs, colored tears beginning to form in their eyes. They didn’t want to die. Apparently, they were heading towards where Gamzee was, and when Y/N had fallen down the stairs, he had been watching the whole time. The fear they felt, was even more intense now that they had seen him. The clown had blood all over him, from his face to his clothes. His eyes were red instead of the normal orange… he was a scary force to behold. 
“Please….please…” They whispered, running and running, just wanting to get to someplace where they could hide. But as they ran, they ended up tripping on some random rubble, falling on their face. They curled up for a moment, holding their nose as a loud crack had come from their face as they fell. They broke their nose. A creepy chuckle was heard behind them, and they shot up, looking at the clown who was oh so close. Their eyes widened, tears beginning to fall down their face. 
“Gamzee…please don’t hurt me.” They said as they scooted back, trying to turn and run again, but before they could even stand from the position they were in, their wrist was grabbed harshly by a bloodied hand. They whipped their head towards Gamzee who lifted them off the ground from their broken arm. They winced at the pain. 
“...it hurts please..stop..” They said out of pure desperation to live. Tears streamed down their face as they struggled. They didn’t want to die, not here, and definitely not by Gamzee’s hands. Gamzee raised an eyebrow with his menacing smile. 
“IT HURTS? well, maybe THE MESSIAHS wouldn’t have led me to you brother IF THEY DIDN’T WANT ME to motherfucking HURT YOU.” He said as he brought them closer to his face. They looked at him in the eyes, and with how close they were, Y/N brought their head back and then headbutted him harshly. It made them dizzy, sure, but it caused Gamzee to let go, and drop them. They hurried to their feet, sprinting off once more, and they could hear a slight growl from behind. That definitely angered the troll. They let out a shaken breath, running towards the place they originated from when they started running. They were mumbling to themselves about Gamz, thinking about how he would never...never hurt them right? This couldn’t be him, they were so close before this. He called them one of his best friends, and of course, Karkat was his Moirail, but he was just such a close friend to them. They felt so betrayed and so hurt, they just wanted to collapse right there, but adrenaline kept them going. 
No matter how far they ran, the honking continued to close in. They ran into the main room, the original room they were all in, and there laid Feferi on the horn pile. Y/N was always close to Feferi and the others, so seeing her gone hurt, just as much as the betrayal of Gamzee. They quickly glanced around. That’s right, they almost forgot about Gamzee, and so they ran under one of the desks to hide. It was their best bet right now. 
Then Gamzee came into the room. His footsteps, his honks, any noise he made, it felt like would destroy their eardrums each time. They put their hands over their ears, talking deep, quiet breaths, praying to themselves that he wouldn’t find them. Then the sound of chairs began to move, and so, they glanced up, and right there in front of them, his red eyes glared into them, into their soul. Their heart dropped, mumbling apologies and pleads to him, just wanting to survive. 
They were pulled out of under the desk, being forced out into the open. They squeezed their eyes shut, causing more tears to fall, their breath quickening. Gamzee held them up once more by their wrist and he would chuckle a bit before throwing them into the opposite wall. They shouted out of pain, curling up against that wall, shaking and whimpering. They weren’t usually this weak, actually one of the strongest emotionally in the group, but this was a whole new level. Their heart was pounding in their chest, pain consumed them, and so did fear. They didn’t want this. 
His footsteps were heavy as he began to walk back over to them, he would bring his club up, getting ready to hit them across the had for the last finishing blow to kill them, but something stopped him. He looked back, as someone had grabbed the club he was using, and there stood none other than Karkat Vantas. His eyes widened, and Gamzee would yank the club out of his hands, elbowing him in the stomach, causing the mutant blood troll to be pushed back, right onto the ground. 
Y/N looked up at Gamzee, distracted by the other troll. Even with broken ribs, broken arms, a pounding head, they would stand. Using the wall behind them, gripping onto the rough rock, and would grab Gamzee by the collar of his shirt, causing him to whip his head back over to them, and they pulled him into a kiss. They always felt red feelings towards him, but this isn’t how they wanted to tell him. The troll’s eyes widened and he would slowly succumb to the kiss, putting his arm down, dropping the club, leaning into Y/N. They would separate themselves from him, mumbling an apology before hitting him right in the neck, knocking him out. He collapsed in their arms, and they would gently put him down as they too went to the ground, knees collapsing on them, and they would start to sob. Their entire body hurt from the emotions and physical pain they felt. Karkat’s eyebrows furrowed, walking over to them, looking down at the unconscious troll, he would sit next to Y/N. 
“YOU DID GOOD. IT’S...GOING TO BE OK.” He said to them. Y/N said nothing and only curled up, putting their knees to their chest, wrapping their arms around themselves, sobbing into their arms. This was the worst day of their life. Karkat would wrap his arms around them in a comforting way...How could this happen? How could this become of them all? It was so..horrid.
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quizzical-paradox · 4 years
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OK FUCK THIS NOISE IM GONNA CLASSPECT FUCKIN INVADER ZIM CHARACTERS BECAUSE I CAN AND CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD. WELCOME TO THE HYPERFIXATION ZONE
(please keep in mind that this is a huge shitpost and isnt meant to be taken seriously at all--)
Zim = Prospit, Bard of Doom
Ok this one should be kinda obvious. Abusing and manipulating the powers of doom and never even benefiting from it in the end? Overall being full of themselves and is ALWAYS confident, no matter what? 100% Zimcore. Need I say more.
Gir = Prospit, Knight of Heart
Never thought I’d see the day when I’d have to classpect GIR of all people. Or, dogs. Or, robots. Anyhow, GIR being a Knight of Heart...kinda works. After all, what the IZ universe mostly lacks is optimism, heart, and overall that kinda positive stuff--which is what Gir brings to the table, along with Minimoose. I’m smart.
Minimoose = Derspit, Witch of Space
I AM CLASSPECTING A FLOATING PURPLE MOOSE. Oh my absolute god. Anyway, I couldn’t decide on a lunar sway for Minimoose, so I just went with Derspit because yes. Anyway, as we can see in ETF, Minimoose CLEARLY has space-manipulating powers. He teleported an ENTIRE PLANET, for god’s sake. He uses it mostly to the advantage of others, but he mostly benefits from it indirectly because Zim is an idiot, so I made him a Witch. For all we know, Minimoose could be god-tier already and noone would bat an eye.
Dib = Derse, Seer of Void
Pretty much any paranormal investigator character could be a Seer of Void, not gonna lie. They're just like that, ya know. Anyway, a sense of wanting to understand the unseen, the unknown, and even the nonexistant is a TOTAL Dib move. Like holy shit that fits way too much.
Gaz = Derse, Rogue of Rage
Gaz. Gaz sweetie. You can’t just hoard all that rage. You gotta leave some for another poor bastard--shit she’s already gone. Fuck. Anyway, I feel like Gaz being Ragebound is...kind of a given. I mean, she already canonically saves up and hoards a bunch of Rage and unleashes it on some other poor utterly fucked soul, so this works. Trust me.
Membrane = Derse, Heir of Space
Okay just hear me out here. He’s well-versed in creation, he does it mostly for the benefit of others, AND he’s pretty space-oriented in the first place. Seriously, everything about the man just SCREAMS Heir of Space. Look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong. See, you can’t. Checkmate.
Almighty Tallests = Prince(s) of Hope
Welp, the Tallests are Eridan kinnies, who knew. Also YES they share a classpect, they're practically identical, gimme a break. Anyway, the reason I chose Prince of Hope rather than Prince of Space was 1: we already have way too many space players so we dont need two more. And 2: they already destroy hope by being galactic monarchs and conquering planets--plus, they destroy WITH hope by being naive to the consequences of their actions, as seen in ETF. Also, they're MONARCHS, so of course they're princes. Hee hoo I'm smart.
Tak: Derse, Mage of Doom
Yo holy shit, Tak is a Sollux kinnie. ...I need to make a shitpost of that now. Anyway, the reason I made Tak a Doombound mage is because she has CLEARLY, canonically, fought against Doom throughout her backstory (failing the exams and being banished for god knows how long, only to return and fall to Zim after carefully constructing a plan, etc.) and, since Zim is a Doombound Bard, that would make her defeat as his hands a way of her suffering Doom, therefore further securing her Magehood. She could have god-tiered after getting thrown into the sun, for all we know.
(EDIT: I FUCKING FORGOT THE BONUS CHARACTERS SO HERE YA GO:)
Chammy Wamboo = Prospit, Knight of Blood
Okay not gonna lie this one's a big brain move. See, Chammy's one of those shippers, focused on interpersonal relationships, right? Lil Meulin kinnie. So of course, she'd be Bloodbound. Since that's what the IZ universe lacks, then she's a Knight attempting to defend it and bring it to the table. (she shares a classpect with KARKAT OF ALL PEOPLE. WHAT THE FUCK)
Keef = Prospit, Thief of Blood
Yeah Keef being a Hero of Blood is kind of a given anyway. Poor boy, he doesn't MEAN to steal Blood per se, but he ends up doing it anyway because he just wants human connection. Tragic, but still annoying. RIP.
Zib = Derspit, Mage of Rage
Not to toot my own horn, but THIS ONE IS FUCKING BIG BRAIN. See, since Zib's backstory is heavily ambiguous, this one was a challenge. BUT, Zib has been shown to be fighting (and losing) against his own Rage in the form of his Zim half, and eventually suffers the consequences of his Rage by failing and being deserted in the Void. I considered Void for him due to the aforementioned reason, but I think Rage works better.
Pilot Dib = Derse, Thief of Beans Time
Now, this one is less big-brain, but it still works. Since Pilot Dib is suspended in IZ canon, and is widely regarded as the most feral character in that suspended canon, as well as being the most memorable character in the pilot itself, he basically has a monopoly over the entire time he spends on-screen. So, he basically stole the pilot's runtime and became the ULTIMATE DIB. Good for him, good for him.
Concept Dib = Derse, Seer of Mind
Hee hee, Concept Dib is a Terezi kinnie. Anyway, since Concept Dib is basically just Dib if he was Dexter, I feel like he'd be very Mind-oriented. And, being a scientist, he'd be dedicated to understanding his mind, so of course he'd be a Seer.
ANYWAY, that's my stupid fuckin analysis because im dumb and cringe culture is dead. if you see this no you dont <3
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The upd8 still got me hyped, so here, have some incredibly late-night pale Junekat interactions! ... I missed these dorks.
Don’t get me wrong I still totally ship Davekat, but... Candy Dave kinda fucked off into the Meat Realm??? And the only alive version of June is single rn, and she’s scheming up a storm with Karkat, and I just... I want these nerds to have a full-ass feels jam, okay????? And I want it to be sappy. And I want them to continue to have feels jams on a very regular basis and become a war hero power couple. My nostalgia demands it. Candy Moirail Junekat FTW
Edit: I forgot Karkat’s horns in like 3 whole pages ashfhdudjdhejs
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classicstupid-tom · 7 years
Text
ME: LITERALLY ONLY WANTS LIKE 3 THINGS WALMART: IS OUT OF ALL OF THEM ME: OKAY WELL FUCK ME I GUESS
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pesterloglog · 5 months
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Gamzee Makara, Tavros Nitram
Act 5, page 2123
terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]
TC: mOtHeRfUcK mY bRoThEr, Im So SoRrY i KiNd Of ZoNeD oUt ThErE.
AT: hI, tHAT'S OK.
AT: i WASN'T EXPECTING YOU TO NOT BE ZONED OUT FOR ANY REASON.
AT: sO i GUESS, i DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR APOLOGY.
TC: AlRiGhT, fUcK yEaH, iT's AlL gOoD aNyWaY.
TC: i JuSt ZoNeD oUt WhEn I wAs SuPpOsEd To Be AlL aBoUt BeInG tO tElL yOu YoU'rE aLl On My TeAm.
AT: uH, yEAH, tHE RED TEAM YOU MEAN,
TC: ShIt MoThErFuCkIn YeAh My WiCkEd MoThErFuCkEr!
TC: :o) hOnK hOnK hOnK
AT: oK, tHAT'S GREAT, i JUST HEARD ABOUT THIS,
AT: fROM SOMEONE i DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT,
AT: bUT IT STILL BASICALLY QUALIFIES AS GOOD NEWS,
TC: :o) HoNkHoNkHoNkHoNkHoNk
AT: }:o), hEH,
TC: hAhAh FuUuUuCk, YoU sToLe My FuCkIn NoSe BrO!
TC: WhAt GoT yOu EvEn Up ThE gUmPtIoN tO aLl FuCkIn Do ThE sHiT lIkE tHaT?
AT: eRR, i DON'T KNOW, iT'S JUST,
AT: kIND OF THE OBVIOUS THING TO DO,
AT: sTICK THE CIRCLE IN FRONT OF THE DOTS, aND, bEHIND THE BENDY ONE,
AT: pLUS, oH YEAH, mY HORNS,
TC: hAhAhAhA.
AT: mAYBE WE CAN SLAM ABOUT IT,
TC: YeAh, I cOuLd KiCk ThE sHiT oUt Of SoMe RhYmEs BrO.
TC: aLl StIr Up SoMe FuCkIn HeLl MiRtH aNd RiP oPeN a FuCkIn BaG oF hArShWhImSy.
AT: yEAHHH, yOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE CLOWN THINGS, wHICH,
AT: i DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND EVER, bUT THAT'S OKAY,
AT: bECAUSE IT'S KIND OF FUNNY,
AT: wHEREAS, i'LL ADDRESS SOME TOPICS PERTAINING TO MY INTERESTS,
AT: aND i GUESS, pERSONAL MOTIFS,
TC: YeAh! FuCk YeAh, ThAt Be HoW sHiT's AlL uSuAlLy Up AnD fUcKiN lOcKeD bRo.
TC: bUt FiRsT hErE's ThE tHiNg WiTh ThE gAmE.
AT: oH YEAH, i ALMOST FORGOT, aBOUT,
AT: tHE RED TEAM GAME,
TC: YeAh Ok If I rEmEmBeR rIgHt ThIs Is HoW wE'rE jUgGlInG tHiS sHiT.
TC: lOt'S oF fUcKiN bAlLs In ThE aIr, HaHaHa.
TC: TeReZi CoNnEcTeD tO kArKaT, sO hE's FuCkIn ChIlL.
TC: tHeN i'M sUpPoSeD tO cOnNeCt To HeR sOoN tO gEt HeR aLl ChIlL tOo.
TC: BuT sHe'S iN tHe WoOdS dOiNg SoMeThInG.
TC: wHeN sHe CoMeS bAcK sHe StArTs PlAyInG.
TC: So In ThE mEaN mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE i'M sUpPoSeD tO gEt YoU tO cOnNeCt To Me.
TC: bUt I fUcKiN sPaCeD oUt AnD fOrGoT.
TC: BeCaUsE i GuEsS i WaS wAy ToO mOtHeRfUcKiN cHiLl AlL uP iN tHiS sHiT, hAhAhAhAhA!
AT: yEAH, i UNDERSTAND,
TC: sO jUsT dOwNlOaD tHiS mOtHeRfUcKeR i'M sEnDiNg YoU sO wE cAn KiCk ThIs BiTcH dOwN tHe StAiRs.
AT: oKAY, i'LL DO THAT, aND,
AT: iN THE MEANTIME, sHALL i,
AT: cUE UP THE,
AT: sTRICT BEATS????? }:D
TC: AwWwWw BrOtHeR nOw YoU aLl FuCk AnD uP aNd DoNe It.
TC: yOu ArE fUcKiN wHeEl DeEp In A bIg SlOpPy MaSsAcRe PiE tOpPeD wItH mOtHeRfUcKiN wHiPpEd RhYmE.
TC: HoW sTrIcT aRe ThOsE bEaTs At, MoThErFuCkEr?
AT: wELL, i,
AT: tURNED UP THOSE BITCHES TO PRETTY STERN,
AT: sET BEATS TO LECTURE, aND, i'M KIND OF GOING HOG WILD ON THE CURMUDGEON KNOB,
AT: wHICH, i HAD RECENTLY INSTALLED,
TC: gOd DaMn!!!
TC: TeLl Me MoRe WhIlE i GeT mY rEaCh On FoR tHiS fRoStY bReW.
AT: oKAY,
AT: iMAGINE AN ARRAY OF BEATS THAT SET LIMITS,
AT: tHEY GOT A RULEBOOK, iT DOESN'T PAY TO SKIM IT,
AT: bECAUSE, tHERE'S NOT A LOT OF LATITUDE,
AT: tHEY WON'T STAND FOR AN ATTITUDE,
AT: aND, cROSSING THEM'S A HABIT YOU'D,
AT: (nOT REALLY WANT TO GET INTO BECAUSE, uHH),
AT: tHEY'D GET PRETTY MAD AT YOU,
TC: fUuUuCk, So FuCkIn FrEsH.
TC: YoU nEeD tO bE sLaPpEd FuCkIn SiLlY wItH a MoUtH lIkE tHaT! hAhA.
AT: aND, iF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT,
AT: tHEN i SUGGEST YOU GO AND RAP IT DUDE,
TC: oK i WiLl.
TC: JuSt LeT mE sNeAk Up On ThIs BoTtLe Of FaYgO aNd SnAp ItS nEcK lIkE iM a FuCkIn LaUgHsSaSsIn.
TC: oK.
TC: ArE tHoSe BeAtS sTiLl ChIlL?
AT: yEAH,
TC: aRe ThEy MoThErFuCkIn StRiCt???
AT: yEAHHHHH,
TC: AiGhT.
TC: cRaCk......
TC: HiSsSsSsSsSsSsSs.
TC: mOtHeRfUcKiN kIcK iT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You both then proceed to have one of the worst rap-offs in the history of paradox space.
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