#I have no expectations of anybody to read this.

[coraniaid]

I remember reading a good post on here a year or two -- which I'm afraid I've been unable to track down again -- which pointed out that the Buffy writers' retroactive creation of a central coordinating "Watcher's Council" in Season 3 makes the fact Kendra wasn't expecting to meet Buffy when she visited Sunnydale in Season 2 rather strange. Surely Giles would have been sending in reports about Buffy's vampire-slaying to the Council, and surely the Council would have passed these on to Kendra's Watcher when he became worried that something bad was about to happen in Sunnydale. The post suggested as an explanation the theory that, after Buffy died and Kendra was activated as a Slayer, the Council just assumed Giles was coping really badly with losing his Slayer and dismissed all of his follow-up reports about her out of hand as a sad delusional fantasy.

In the same spirit, I'd like to propose that the fact Faith clearly is expecting to meet Buffy when she arrives in Sunnydale in Season 3 suggests that, inverting the pattern above, Giles has been lying to the Council about Buffy all summer and pretending that she's still in town doing her duty as a Slayer (and that he isn't spending all his time flying around the country desperately trying to find her).

This gets a bit long, but bear with me.

Faith knows about Buffy and she's heard at least a few stories about her (she calls her "infamous" and asks: "so, B, did you really use a rocket launcher one time?"). Faith can only have heard about past Slayers from her Watcher, who must ultimately (indirectly) have heard any details about Buffy through Giles sending reports back to the Council.

But Faith isn't just aware of Buffy as some abstract former Slayer. She comes to Sunnydale looking for her ("you're ... uh, Buffy, right? [...] I figured this was my chance to meet [you]") and, I suspect, deliberately arranged her fight with a vampire at the Bronze to make this happen (in particular she only seems to start fighting back once she has an audience...). Why didn't she head to Jamacia in search of Kendra? Well, clearly her Watcher must have told her that Buffy Summers was alive and that it was Kendra's death, not Buffy's, that had led to her being called. (Clutching at straws, but if you go back and watch the episode, Faith does nod slightly when Cordelia talks about Kendra dying; maybe her Watcher told her a bit about Kendra too?)

But how could Faith's Watcher (or anybody else), knowing that Faith has just been called as a Slayer, be sure which of the two previously alive Slayers had just died? (The show later retcons that only Kendra's death would have called a new Slayer, and Buffy's wouldn't, but I don't believe the writers had decided this was the plan before the end of Season 5's The Gift. The Mayor doesn't seem to think this is how it works, for example, and there are some things the writers said at the time that seem to rule it out too. But even if that was always what would have happened, if two Slayers at a time is unprecedented, as the show suggests, how could the Council be sure?)

The simplest answer must be that somebody told them that Kendra died. "Somebody" being, of course, Giles. But when did he tell them? The earliest he could have done it was at the end of the Becoming two-parter (Kendra dies in part one, but Giles is a prisoner for most of the following episode and I doubt Angel was letting him mail postcards back to England).

But the end of Becoming is also the point where Buffy leaves town and goes into hiding for months. Any report that Giles sent the Council from this point should have mentioned this, surely? The Council have all sorts of resources that they could have used to find her. It didn't have to be just Giles himself haring off after every false lead. But apparently, it was.

So, I think Giles wrote to the Council after Kendra died to let Sam Zabuto know and (whether actively or through omission) just ... let them think Buffy was still in Sunnydale. And then when it was time to send his next report in, he just ... kept pretending Buffy was still in town. Once he failed to tell them she was gone, he could hardly admit that she'd actually vanished weeks ago, could he? The Council generally have a pretty hands-off management style, but I don't think they'd have kept paying him if they realized he didn't actually know where his Slayer was or what she was up to. They might have decided earlier than in canon that he wasn't up to the job and needed to be replaced. Or even that this technically made Buffy a "rogue Slayer" who was refusing to follow her Watcher's orders. I think it makes sense he wouldn't tell them.

Which is why, over the summer, Faith's Watcher was telling her stories about Buffy Summers, the Slayer with a rocket launcher, stories which made Faith think she was living and Slaying in Sunnydale. Even though, for most -- maybe all -- of the summer Faith spent with her first Watcher, Buffy wasn't in Sunnydale at all.

(The show's a little bit vague about how much time passes between the start of Dead Man's Party and Faith's arrival in Faith, Hope & Trick but I don't think it's credible that it was enough time for Giles to be reunited with Buffy, for him to tell the Council she was back (and them to believe him), for the Council to tell Faith's Watcher, for Faith's Watcher to tell her, for Kakistos to murder Faith's Watcher and for Faith to flee Boston and travel over 3000 miles to Sunnydale through whatever combination of hitchhiking, freighthopping and motor vehicle theft she's meant to have used to make it there (she can barely cover the costs of the cheapest motel in Sunnydale: I don't exactly think she could afford a cross-country flight). When Giles gets through to the Watcher's retreat in England, enough time has passed for them to have found out about and confirmed Faith's Watcher was dead, and that can't have been quick either: Faith wasn't exactly rushing to tell them.)

So, all in all, Faith is pretty lucky she arrived in Sunnydale when she did. A few days earlier, and she'd have missed Buffy entirely. Maybe eventually one of her attempts to stage a fight so she could look cool in front of another Slayer would lead her into meeting the Scoobies and Giles and figuring out what was going on, but maybe not. Maybe Kakistos would have caught up with her first.

And, even if it's not intended, I like the symmetry of Kendra not knowing Buffy would be in Sunnydale (because Giles truthfully told the Council she was and they didn't believe him), versus Faith going to Sunnydale specifically to meet Buffy not knowing she might not even be there (because this time the Council did believe Giles but this time he was lying to them).

#btvs #I wish Faith's Watcher had a canon name so I could stop typing 'Faith's Watcher' #maybe I'll just pretend 'Diana Dormer' is canon after all

[dailykugisaki]

Day 103 | id in alt

Fish are animals that's why they're made of flesh, duh.

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #itadori yuji #Itadori says the stupidest shit and dosent expect Kugisaki to suplex him #sounds like an Itadori problem tbh #also i like to giggle about the fact i have one mutual on this forsaken ass app.i dont talk to anybody but the people who read my delusional #ass shit in the tags #hello btw one to two people #I NEED TO TALK ABOUT KUGISAKI AGAIN I NEED TO I WIAGHHHH #Becoming the joker via writing lore for no damn reason other than self fulfillment #i hope others enjoy it too bc the ones that do are abt to get fed NICELY these next days istg

[ageless-aislynn]

Nowwwwww, I facetiously mentioned at the bottom of this post about the Halo: Reach achievement:

To do that, you have to go under or close to par time on pretty much each level ON LEGENDARY.

I have beaten Reach on Legendary but it probably took me closer to 30 hours than 3 because I did my slow, methodical strategies to get through. I did the par time achievement by running past everything I could on Easy. Can I combine the two successfully?

I decided to give the first level "Winter Contingency" a try (after watching some Youtube vids on getting this achievement, of course 😉). Par time is 15 minutes.

That was my third try, the first was 16 and some minutes, the second got it to 15 and some and then that one got under the par by 32 seconds! I should note that this is considered one of the easiest levels to do on Legendary and the guide I watched by the ever-awesome Halo Completionist did it under 12 minutes and you're going to need every spare second you can scrap together to give you a buffer for some of the long, difficult levels. But still!

It's silly, I know, but I feel so proud of me! I'm an old lady (well, middle-aged, if I'm being generous 😜) playing Halo with shaky hands but I made under par time on Legendary! 🥳🥳🥳

PS - Tried it again and got 13:55!

#halo #halo: reach #halo reach #this is my game tag #it's silly i know but i really am proud of me #nobody will ever realize how little i expected to be able to even finish ONE of the mcc games on easy #i wanted to be able to do it but i just didn't think i'd be able to #and then i made it through halo ce #and then the others slowly one at a time #it means something to me #i don't even know why but it does #i'm not good at games but i'm tenacious i'll keep trying #i'll watch different strategies then try to find something that'll work for me #i'll work at it until i get there #it's not pretty nobody would ever want to watch my twitch stream that's for sure lol #but i get it done #i'm proof that you don't have to be some amazing gamer to do some amazing things #i feel like there's a life lesson in there or something i dunno #is anybody still reading down this far in the tags? #have a cookie if you're still here #love you frens #thanks for letting me share with you #ageless aislynn

[timiddot]

i need a new job but im disabled and autistic and i cant drive and ive only ever worked one job before the one i currently work and i don't have any college and the job market is so bad right now i don't know what to do at all i just need to make more money but i'm completely fucking drained mentally and physically from my current shitty job that isn't even that hard i'm just weak to the point where i don't have the energy to look for other jobs and my fucking computer is kinda broken and i really want to work a remote job but i can't with my computer like that and i don't know what to do but i can't keep earning fucking $9 an hour with like 20 hours a week but i can't work another retail job or i think i will genuinely lose my mind more than i already have and that therapist hasn't gotten back to me and i don't know what to fucking do at all i am so lost i just want it all to be fucking over!!!! AND IM SICK HAHAHA FUCK ME !

#moss sprouts #sorry im not doing good. #the last like 6 months of my life have made me so fucking hopeless #with everything that happened w logan and shit and money and life is just hell #i dont even have anybody to talk to abt shit with logan because i didn't fucking tell anyone when it was happening #and now its been over for months and what point is there to bring it up #i dont have frienfs that i can talk to #im sorry i dont really expect anyone to read this #if you Know who i mean when i say logan please dont like..contact them about my fucking dumb posting. #i doubt anyone would but im paranoid i just want it all to be over

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of your coming of age movie that never happens & your narrative non-narratives, shoutout to the arcs that’d be supposedly “worse” lmfao like posts about people-pleasers being like “i’m in my villain era” when it’s just consciously prioritizing themselves at all / noting when boundaries for their own wellbeing are being trampled, and the like. wherein i’m like, well i like talking to people i suppose, i can do the hours of monologue at a wall for one mode, got chatterbox mode, funny guy theatrical mode, etc, but in actuality also, i do not like talking to people lmao. the “yeah, that’s me” movie ending with another voiceover while upbeat music plays & you’re cheerfully walking along in 0.75x speed through some picturesque arena filled with socializing people like =) putting on headphones, turning up the volume, ignoring everyone, dodging people according to the berth one wants to maintain,

#i mean in person i like to be somewhere Parallel to other ppl; but there By Myself technically lol #i also am down for / enjoy spontaneous fleeting interactions w/randos but ofc only the actually good ones; which can sure be rare #and naturally Online interactions have a lot more flexibility than [not having that option] but even then. #like on just one point: being in a ''fandom'' like no thanks at all ever lol even when it comes to relatively niche things #j'etadore quantent being Just Me Posting To Myself. i absolutely do not want to talk to anybody about winston billions. #posts are scrolls i've nailed to a door to be perused if someone wants. take it or leave it; i've given it & left #meanwhile Not In Person chats aren't even enough lol like; need more Delay than a live chat; also too much to say just like irl anyways #gotta be down for short essays at w/e weird pacing & inadvertent caginess abt what ig other ppl would find matter of factly easy to share #i.e. like What Are You Doing? type ye olde facebook status prompt material. well that's a secret / weird / not entertaining enough isn't it #not like i think oh scoff i Should be popular likable & beloved lmfao like no ofc i Know i'm not gonna come off like that. l'autistique. #to be thusly is to be generally considered unlikable / disliked. i probably don't like interacting w/an nt rando too much either. #& w/the power of [adhd] it's like yeah sure i can be the chatty Fun But Annoying person lmfao But. rather than really being begrudgingly #tolerated until ppl are just more used to you / forgive the annoyances it's like no it's just the Annoying part lol beyond that it's like #well you're also somehow still too weird & quiet so worst of both worlds right. And ofc i have Other Traits aren't just for everyone. #some classic easy to embrace shit like bit of a hothead; argumentative; opinionated; stubborn; spontaneous; a hater; cagey....lmao #much of that For Fun but the [autistic Friendly] social cues don't get read that way. plus i Can be unfriendly too ofc lmao. get outta here #like a friend group seems charming & adorably heartwarming in theory until it's like oh god but drawing on all relevant experiences?? No #the third or fourth or nth wheel falling behind on the narrow sidewalk / talked over / finding a chair on the end & ppl dont notice ur here #lowering expectations even for exchanges that Do happen. ppl can enjoy the novelty of a lengthy exchange for like; a day #on the other side of that if what's initiated is like; Brief General messages i'm like oh god lmfao now Eye can't keep up w/this style #beyond that spontaneous shit is like oh god masking. oh god double empathy misinterpretations & being treated horribly b/c of it. #Recognizing & Respecting my actual experiences rather than hypothetical ideals like no i'm Not failing by Not putting myself in more damn #situations lmfao....if i stumble into good ones then great lol. sure have done that & i don't discount the Value therein at all #just sure like [points to the wisdom of e.g. autistic ppl talking abt having to be lonely but at the gain of looking out for / appreciating #themself] like Being ''Unlikable'' or having friends(tm) but not Really / the treatment is shit / you're having to mask a ton anyways... #sure can recall experiences like idk. ppl ''being nice'' & whether on purpose or not it's like actually I'm In Hell I'm In Hell lmfao #and then even if it's not on purpose it's like ah i can't actually talk to them abt it & that's not a great endorsement for the dynamic huh #or just noting like i'm duly accepted to be on the sidelines but what am i doing wrong lmao sweating How To Earn proper Normal participation #lot of anxiety & blaming oneself & it turns out like nah can't excise the Fault of autistic / adhd / cpstdness & you're fine actually #that was ye olde times more so but it's gradual & still fairly recent being like Oh Right. more accurate ideas re: Talking To Ppl At All....

[coyotepawsteps]

the little nightmares 2 ost is so fucking good

sincerely, an autistic ass bitch currently listening to said ost, resisting the urge to go looking for fanfic, & maybe being a little sad about the fact i can’t play the game rn

#tw swearing #cw swearing #(​don’t think i’ll usually tag swearing but like. idk. felt like doing it on this post) #a ny ways. #sometimes i wonder if the little nightmares franchise is a spin of mine or just a hyperfixation #i’m so bad about telling the difference between the 2 #but for now i think i’m considering it a spin #love little nightmares. it is Special To Me #the world & characters are So Good. #do not expect me to know shit about the. i think it’s called very little nightmares? the mobile one?? #never played that one myself & have only watched one playthrough of it a single time #ln1 and ln2 though? awesome. love them. have played both multiple times. watched videos of both multiple times. #and read a maybe healthy amount of fanfic mostly for the second game though #less about the first #is this post an invitation for people to talk to me about little nightmares? mmmaybe #listen idk i just wanted to rant abt it for a bit #i would be surprised if anybody actually read all of these tags. i did not plan on all these tags. #little nightmares #autism #special interest

[eissaphir]

Good things about Whiskey:

Nothing

No, I'm serious, literally nothing

This man is absolutely horrible

Pedro Pascal

#I'm reading the novelization and can't wait to see how he is in it. Bc he doesn't have that advantage so I expect him to be despicable #Agent Whiskey #Jack Daniels #Kingsman #Kingsman The Golden Circle #I'll have to see whether there's a specific tag for his real name to distinguish it from the drink #But I doubt anybody would search for that anyway #Pedro Pascal #My posts

[woolydemon]

the ppl that read my art notes on the tags of my art self rbs, we are kissing passionately in the moonlight btw. just so u know

#i just noticed someone did read them for one of them and i was like Oh my gosh you actually read that . #ITS LIKE. i used to talk more in the tags of the original post but it made tumblr not want to put them in the tags so i had to stop #but i also . cant shut up for the life of me. not surprising to anybody thats followed me for a while or knows me #and when i draw i have so many thoughts during it that i want to talk abt but cant do it in the main post bc it would be alienating #due to how much i talk and also most people do not like to read it which is understandable #so i just started a habit one day to dump all of that into the self rb boosts so i can get it out of my system #without being upsetting to ppl by keeping it in the tags and also on self rbs that most ppl i pressume dont look into the tags for #i honestly do not expect ppl to read them #i feel that way for any tag dumps i do i purposely put them in the tags to remain unobtrusive #so whenever someone does say they read them i go 🤯 #thankies tho for realzies...... #esp for my art note tags bc i rlly do take pride in my work and really love to share my process with other ppl #rando thoughtz

[bringmoreknives]

i feel like. being a fanfiction writer and then also admitting that you never read fanfiction. is a bad look

#this is not about anybody here i’m not vagueing #i’m just like. damn. it’s hard enough to get engagement as a fic writer like most of the time we have to ask our author friends to read #and then just admitting you expect everyone else to read your stuff but you don’t consider that you might be able to support or to learn #from others??? like?? #man idk #i don’t read NEARLY as much as i want to but at least i fucking do it!!!! #.txt

[stabbylambchop]

Just had a high school kid with "aspiring pediatrician and p*dopsychologist" in their bio follow me, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go struggle to suppress that panic attack all week, thank you 🙃

#i hate this motherfuckin website #WHY DON'T ANY OF Y'ALL KNOW HOW TO READ FIRST OFF #second off you just can't HAVE THAT SHIT UP THERE and expect to just follow anybody and have them be chill with it lol no fuck off #but for real I feel like I'm about to refund this oatmeal and idk whether to cry nap have a seizure or all 3

[onepiexe]

theres smth to be said when every reading you do and someone else does continues to say all the same info but in different aspects of your life. . .tarot is so cool.

#logbook #anyways this is the 2nd reading that has said id have somebody be cooking up a scheme behind my back and expect me to crumble when its #outed. . .the 7th? or 8th? reading to say thst nothing or no one can touch me bc im protected AND bc im abt to have a boost in my career. #my best guess is this person is someone from work. bc ive felt stuff happening around me and hesrd things ive just. ignored it. #like what are they going to do? fire me? i dont even work for them LOL #but to be told these things across several readings just genuinely makes me feel a lot better abt whats going on. #from what i see of the readings abt the person tho. by the time they hatch this plan i'll be gone. which makes sense. #its why im not talking abt leaving and why i'm barring b from telling anybody. i'm not going to talk abt it until near the moment i walk #out the door next fri. what could they even have to say. i cant think of anything. anywayd. #if i have energy this weekend i will do tarot readings tho. i prommy. #for yall i mean

[gunpowder-gemini]

RUNNING IN CIRCLES RUNNING IN CIRCLES RUNNING IN CIRCLES

SOMEONE LEFT A LONG ASS COMMENT ON MY SLY FIC AAAAAAAAAA

I AM ASCENDING I COULD FIGHT GOD I COULD SPRINT AROUND THE GLOBE GDGISJGSJFSGJSJGS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#they broke down thing they liked 😭😭😭😭😭 #they like clem 😭😭😭😭 #they subscribed to the fic 😭😭😭😭😭 #nobody tOUCH ME I'M SO EMOTIONAL 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ #i didn't think anybody would really read it let alone like it THAT much???? #not saying I think my writings bad but this is a really old mostly dead fandom so I was keeping my expectations realistic #but holy FUCK #I also have 3 kudos which is also exciting!!! #i understand why people write now #i will finish this fic for this one person on god #i do not know them but I would kill for them

[deathnoting]

what do i have to sacrifice to you to get you to write more aiber/L or B/L...

nothing much, just your firstborn

no but tbh, anon, i love & respect you, and i can see we have shared interests, but it feels kinda good to be, for the moment, obsessing over a ship that is somewhat popular and which people actually read fic of. i have written soooo much b/l in my life for an audience of, usually, like 2.4 people every year. i do love it (and aiber/l) but man alive, those are rare, rare pairs. not saying i write things based on their popularity (clearly, if i'm writing dn fanfic 15-20 years too late) just saying that it's nice to have like. any audience at all

all that said, if you give me $$$ then i will write you whatever the fuck you want

#mostly joke about the $$$ #well i'm actually dead serious but i don't actually expect anybody to pay me money for fanfic lmao #i can barely manage to be paid for original writing. i think my total earnings for my like 10 or so publications has been like. 180 bucks #but tbh spare yourself the expense and just simply wait. i cannot promise aiberxl but bxl has gotta be in the cards at some point #if you don't like lxlight then don't bother but all saints if you have not read it has lots of bxl and a bit of aiberxl #but i can't tell you how to live your life #anon #asks

[cinnamon-grump]

Just a reminder/warning that I almost always ramble in the tags… especially on my own posts.

If you’re not reading them, just know that you may be missing context sometimes

(also its totally valid if you don’t care. You don’t have to read… no judgement there. But like, if ur not gonna read everything, please don’t reply to me as if you did… thanks.)

#shut up ashwyn #case in point: #im saying this now for many reasons.. but mainly because i deleted a post a while ago #and ive been ruminating on things since then.. #bc frankly i hate that i have such a tendency to delete posts when people react in a way that i so much as FEEL is negative #and while i can’t really control what anybody thinks.. #i do think that this disclaimer is important #bc sometimes it is retrospectively very clear people just.. didn’t read my tags and replied with less than half the context #so sometimes what i take as aggression is most likely just… ignorance and sassiness combined #anyway im not gonna harken back to that post i deleted.. no matter how much i want to #cause honestly it wasn’t really worth being a post to begin with #it was really just the responses that so clearly did not comprehend what i meant #and to be fair i can’t expect everyone to understand AND agree with me at all times #i just really wish that either people had the decency to not be rude to me over petty things in MY life #or that i could stop taking every instance of [percieved] rejection and disdain as if it’s the end of my life #anyway im done rambling #this time…

[fridayyy-13th]

oh so tonight's one of those Yearning nights, huh

#friday chats #it's just. i wish i had Somebody. i mean this in the most queerplatonic way possible #not even anybody in particular! just in general!! and it's driving me up the wall!!! #i want someone who i can trust to be vulnerable with! who trusts me the same way! and doesn't mind how finicky i am with physical affection #like i know obviously it wouldn't ''fix me'' or whatever. but it sure would be NICE to have someone i could confide in and cuddle with #without the expectation of romance or sex or anything #is that so much to ask. is it. please. i am sitting facedown at my desk PLEASE #sigh. yes this is a regular occurrence #and to be totally clear this isn't a roundabout request for y'all to ask me ''hey if you're interested i'd be in a qpr with you'' #i do not know any of you well enough for that #i'm just yelling to the void; please ignore me. thanks lmao #probably didn't need to be said but yknow just in case #that is all. if you read all this here's a flower for your troubles 🌷

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better