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strawbeerossi · 6 months

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Mine

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: Whenever the police chief gets a little too friendly with you, you find yourself having a very strict conversation with Spencer at the hotel.

Content/Warnings: Jealous!Spencer, unprotected sex, squirting

Word Count: 1.6K

Kinktober Day Twenty Eight: Squirting

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

Spencer felt his eye twitching as he noticed the newest chief of police was all over you. There was a child abduction case in Nashville, Tennessee that the BAU had offered their resources to. It was standard, children going missing and parents getting weird texts the longer their children were kept captive. You were spending a lot of time at the precinct with him due to you being the designated member alongside JJ to interview the families and surviving child victims who were let go.

“So agent. I got a few questions on your profiling abilities.” The man stated as he was leaning against the desk he was closest to, your gaze lifting from the case file the team had been building up over the past few days. “Okay, lay them on me.” You were just being friendly, not being the best at sensing when men were hitting on you or outright flirting. It was both a blessing and a curse. “Is it true that kids in abusive homes are guaranteed to be murderers?”

The question was quick but you were faster to answer. “No! Not in all cases. Stressors and triggers from childhood can play a big part in the psychological damage of a serial killer but there are people who came from relatively good homes who have murdered others in cold blood. There’s no exact genetic makeup or reason yet, but one day I’m sure it’ll all be answered in depth.”

The rest of the day went like that. He’d ask a question and you’d happily answer, although he was essentially eyefucking you while you were too enthralled in an explanation to pay close enough attention. Hotch had eventually instructed the team to go to their hotel for the night, the team needed rest after being awake for nearly twenty four hours without so much as a break.

The SUV ride back was dead silent, mostly because of exhaustion setting in. However, you could sense tension in your boyfriend as you rested your head lightly against his shoulder.

He’d been abnormally quiet at the precinct, barely even looking in your direction when you came near him. You figured it was exhaustion. Not only were you up for long hours but cases involving children were some of the most draining things you’d ever have to go through. After arriving at the hotel and everyone disbanding to get to their rooms, you were unlocking the door and getting your shoes off while Spencer quietly walked deeper into the room.

“Did you want to take a shower first, babe?” You asked, offering a smile.

It faltered though whenever your boyfriend was facing you, fury in his eyes. “Are we not gonna talk about how chief Lorn is shamelessly flirting with you? It’s like you're eating it up! I mean come on, babe. Why would you ever assume he would care about profiling related things?” His tone was steady, yet anger bubbling over the surface. You looked confused, an eyebrow raised. “Flirting? Spencer, he’s asking questions. I think you’re just tired and taking your emotions out on me.”

Very good guess and probably true, however Spencer wouldn’t admit that. “No. I’m not taking out my emotions on you for no reason. You think I don’t see you batting your eyelashes or laughing at anything this guy says? You don’t know how angry it makes me to know how blind you are to these signals.” Blunt. The words had your mouth agape in shock. “I’m not flirting with the damn police chief! Jesus, Spencer.”

“I don’t believe you. You look like you are eating up all the attention. You know, I bet he wouldn’t even treat you the way I do. Do you think he’d spend every waking moment dedicating his life to you? Huh? Do you think he could love you like I do?” His footsteps were quick and his path decided to back you up against the wall. “Cause I know for sure that he can’t make you cum like I do.” His honey colored eyes were blown out with lust, his hands immediately moving to grip your hips tight. “Spencer!” You squeaked, your pussy clenching desperately around nothing as you could feel the heat of arousal coursing through your veins. Spencer hardly ever got jealous like this, however you liked this side of him. He was rough and could be a little mean, which really did get the job done. “Tell me I’m lying.” His eyes narrowed, hand under your chin making you stare up at him.

“I-I wasn’t flirting with anyone! I was just being friendly.” Your voice was barely above a whisper while Spencer sighed and dropped his hand from your chin. “Go get on the bed.” He murmured, already working on getting his tie off. You knew what you were in for. Spencer didn’t act like this much but you knew that special incidents would pull this rather uncharacteristic side out of him. You’d done what you were used to, already stripping yourself down as you were crawling onto the hotel bed while preparing yourself for whatever was coming.

You knew that he wasn’t going to give you the princess treatment like usual, instead Spencer was getting right to business as he was reaching in his bag to pull out a condom from the side pocket and using his teeth to tear it open. After rolling on the rubber, he was heading over to the edge of the bed to grasp your ankle, tugging your body down the mattress. His gaze was focused on your pussy, a low hum leaving his lips. “Look at how wet you are.” His fingers were teasingly running through your slick folds to collect your sweet arousal, holding a hand up to show off the glistening digits. “Now, I wonder who did that..” He playfully pondered while giving his cock a few lazy tugs.

As he was situated between your legs, Spencer was grasping his shaft and smacking it against your pussy before moving to run his tip through your folds to further tease you, your hand gently reaching for his hip. “Fuck, Spencer. Please.” You whined.

That was all he needed to hear, his large hands wrapping your legs around his waist as he readied himself, his right hand on his cock while the left squeezed your hip. As the thick tip was breaching your soaked cunt, the male was shushing your whines. “We haven’t even gotten started yet. Tonight, I’m gonna show you just how much you don’t need some idiotic police chief and learn how to appreciate what you do have.” Jealousy wasn’t something Spencer was proud of but the emotion was prominently on display and he wasn’t gonna hide it.

His hips were slamming against yours without warning, a loud gasp falling from your lips as your head was falling back against the mattress. “Fuck!” You cursed, feeling the burn of his cock stretching out your desperate and leaking pussy from being shoved deep into your warmth. “You think he’d have you acting like this? Look at how desperate you are and I’ve barely touched you.” His voice was low as both hands roughly gripped your hips. Spencer was normally more of the soft and sweet side, however in these sorts of moods, he was different than anyone who really knew him could imagine.

His thrusts were relentless, your pussy sinfully squelching from each rough snap of his hips, your arousal adding a shine to his cock. “Is this what you wanted? To be fucked like a cheap whore?” The vulgarity alone was making your stomach do flips. This was the man who was bashful with saying the word bitch, yet here he was, cursing and calling you a whore. You wouldn’t complain at all, mainly because you couldn’t.

With his onslaught of assaulting your cunt, you were letting out a series of moans, shaky whines, and pleas for him not to stop. Your skin was flushed, nails digging into your partner’s shoulders as you were in pure bliss. “Look at you. You like it when I abuse your cunt, don’t you? Want to be used like the whore you are? Fuck,” He huffed out, lips smashing against yours as he wasted no time practically shoving his tongue in your mouth while slamming his cock into your pussy, slamming into the spot where you needed him most.

The feeling of your walls constricting and spasming around his cock was like a dream. Spencer was sensitive, so he loved feeling your gummy walls and being able to have them gripping at his shaft, your desperate pussy making an attempt to suck in more of his dick even though it just wasn’t possible.

You were seeing stars, a familiar heat brewing in the pit of your stomach. However, you weren’t able to speak, only being reduced to blubbering about being close, even so the words were slurred together and still hard read. Thankfully, Spencer knew exactly what you were trying to convey, a hand coming down between your sweaty bodies as he was quick to press his finger against your clit, the pressure on the bundle of nerves causing you to whine desperately.

However what happened next was something that even snapped Spencer out of his jealous haze.

He was in the midst of roughly fucking into you whenever your legs were shaking violently, your nails dragging down his back as your body arched from the bed while hitting your orgasm. Instead of making a creamy mess of his cock, there was a gush of arousal that painted his thighs, pelvis, your thighs, and the hotel bedsheets below you. Spencer was slowly coming to a stop while staring at you with wide eyes.

“You’ve never done that before!” He squeaked, his eyes casting down at the glistening of your arousal painting his skin. You were fucked out, your eyes glossed over as you opened your mouth to speak, however a moan falling out soon after.

“No, no. We are doing that again!”

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noxturnalpascal · 4 months

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Devotion 🖤 Masterlist

Series Summary: When is it enough? When is it too much? When does Devotion become Obsession?

I. Stronger Together CH 1 CH 2 CH 3

II. Predator or Prey? CH 4 CH 5 CH 6 CH 7 CH 8

III. Path to the Future CH 9 CH 10 CH 11

Series Warnings: 18+ MDNI, canon-typical violence/death, death of clickers, guns, blood/injury, references to previous SAs (not described), Reader has low self worth & trauma, this group/cult is not feminist - women aren’t treated as equals, Joel has sexual relationships with other characters (not described in detail), possessiveness, manipulation, stalking/spying on, Joel gets mean, DubCon Oral, Joel gets abusive (verbally, mentally, physically (he hits, throws, and bites), thoughts of self-harm and suicide, talk of periods & pregnancy, unprotected PiV, oral sex (m & f receiving), come eating, DIRTY TALK, brief reference to breeding kink and creampie kink (but reader does NOT get pregnant in this story).

A/N: OBVIOUSLY this is canon-divergent, but it is post-outbreak. The events of outbreak day have not changed (sorry Sarah). Reader does have a developed background that plays heavily in her character arc, so in that sense she is very much an OC. Reader has a nickname and some minor physical descriptions.

LAYOUT OF JOEL'S HOUSE

*🖤*NOTES ABOUT THE CULT & JOEL BELOW*🖤*

ABOUT THE CULT

The Cult's Core Ideology

Build up a community (and supplies) to return to a thriving society that can keep people safe & find a cure.

The Cult Operates by its 3 Tenants:

How Joel does it (what he "preaches")

I. Build Trust (We are Stronger Together)

Makes people feel beautiful, important, HEARD

Shares the wealth (food, shelter, women)

Seeks Power & Control to get others to help him

II. Us vs Them (The Predator Vs The Prey)

FEDRA is the enemy, do not trust them

Assimilate or Destroy all other people/groups

Attack them before they attack you

III. Gather & Prepare (Create a Path to the Future)

You can never have enough, always take take take take

The community you create now will determine future society (fair, honest, hardworking)

Once you are well-prepared and rebuild, you can work on finding a cure

🖤

Notes about Joel and the Cult:

He and Tess began this community together in 2010 after they met Bill and Frank and they felt that the QZ was becoming too dangerous and unstable. They settled in a small, remote town in the mountains of Vermont. Tess helps him "run" the community but she has a submissive role. (Their dynamic here is different from canon.) Tess has his respect probably more than anyone else does but she is not looked upon like an equal by anyone in the community.

Timeline/Ages:

This takes place in the fall of 2012, so It’s been 9 years since outbreak day. Joel is 45, my HC for Reader is Early 30's (Tess is 39/40). Reader's exact age isn't given, but she was in her early 20's on outbreak day and I wanted her to have experienced a fair taste of an adult life before the world ended. I didn't want to write the reader as inexperienced or with too large of an age-gap, although I think 11-14 years is still pretty significant. She has a history that plays a significant role in her personality (wary, untrusting). She has been hurt/abused by men - both those that took advantage of her when she was young, as well as by those that she trusted/loved. There are very few physical descriptions but she is very much an OC. Note that her age is not something that's explicitly mentioned because I did want to keep it inclusive. I hope everyone who wants to read this can use their imagination to fit themselves into the story in a meaningful way.🖤

#devotion series #cult leader joel miller #noxturnalpascal #ofc!reader #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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aleksanderscult · 21 days

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Since we have officially entered the Aries' season I thought I should honor the fact that it's the Darkling's birthday! 🎉🎊

(No, we don't know his exact birthdate but we know he's an Aries. Anyways)

To celebrate it let's remember some facts about him.

Even though he was a Shadow Summoner, he loved bright colors. Blue, red, purple but most of all the color of sunlight.

Since we mentioned that he was a Shadow Summoner, isn't it endearing and ironic how he feared the dark when he was a child?

Once he didn't sleep for two nights because his mother had left him in a tent without a lantern.

He loved sweets! Cakes, pies etc. but his two favorites were a cake with cherries and sweet cream from Kerch and candies coated in sesame from Shu.

He had trouble mastering his powers as a child. He felt embarrassed for the fact that he couldn't make the Cut at the age of 13.

He could play the violin. 🎻

He was really intelligent from a very young age. Until the age of 13 he could speak three languages fluently and could read people and their behavior like an open book.

He was awkward and felt uneasy around children his own age since Baghra always kept them on the move and insisted not to let anyone touch him or for him to get close to someone.

He never met his father although he kept asking about him to his mother and wanted to meet him. The only thing he (possibly) ever knew was that he was a Heartrender.

He loooved nature. The trees and forests. The smell of them. Especially the evergreen trees. He even decorated his room in the Little Palace with carvings of trees.

Oh and he loves animals too! In the "Demon in the Wood" he got excited in the thought that he would see white tigers for the first time and Leigh once mentioned that he's kind to animals (we even saw that in "The Tailor" when he took time out of his duties to visit his horses, pat them and whisper to them soothingly).

And he actually saw those white tigers eventually.

Apparently he has great good looks to the point that he attracts others (and especially girls) like magnet since forever.

And his life was full of sex so he was experienced with it (Alina, your opportunity to fuck around and find out was literally right there).

The author confirmed (in 2014-2015, years before even the show came out) that he indeed harbored strong feelings for Alina and believed that they were destined for a future together (my man was ready to buy IKEA furnitures for their future house😭😭).

He had many, many half-siblings (one of them was a mermaid) and throughout the centuries he sought them out, out of a need for kinship, companionship and a desire to not be alone (🥲🔫)

This one is especially sad. He wasn't conceived out of love.

On another note though, his smell has been described as the smell of winter, forests and of the night.

In a solar eclipse his powers wouldn't be affected.

He's the Grisha with the most aliases in the Grishaverse (that's what living in a persecuted environment as a child does to you).

It's confirmed by the author that he was created after fantastical villains that she used to love, so please let that rumor that he was inspired after her abusive ex finally rest for good.

He had indeed fallen in love many times in the past but he kept witnessing the people he loved die from their mortality. At some point he just gave up on love and became more and more closed off. (Let's talk about the break he never had💀)

We might not know which person was the first he ever fell in love with, but we know which was the last one: Alina.

Do you remember those countless letters Alina was sending to Mal in "Shadow and Bone"? Well, the Darkling not only kept them secretly but read ALL off them.

He has a throat-neck fetish. And it's probably canon. The way he kissed Alina's throat every chance he got, the way he once nipped it, the collar and how he was always touching it.

According to Leigh, he didn't start wanting to be King. But this ambition came eventually after deeming it the only way to change things.

Kaz has been described as more selfish than Aleksander.

Well most of them turned out to be sad and tragic but that's because he had a tragic life and he himself was a tragic character.

Happy birthday to one of the best and most iconic book characters ever created. 🎉🎊

#and today we have a solar eclipse 👀#HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THAT LITTLE MEOW MEOW #I miss that fucker 🥹#the darkling #pro darkling #aleksander morozova #pro aleksander morozova #darklina #pro darklina #alarkling #pro alarkling #grishaverse #shadow and bone #alina starkov #grishaverse trilogy

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exsanguidus · 8 months

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Controversial opinion; I think Ascended Astarion is the true Astarion. In DnD lore, vampirism amplifies a person's traits for whoever they are at the time they become a true vampire. A Paladin wanting to save people will end up ruling a city with an iron fist to keep people safe. A mage wanting to heal those they love will hurt everyone else to heal them. Astarion was on a journey with Tav - one from being controlled, owned, and tortured to being free, curious, and even powerful. Becoming a full vampire and ascending just amplified that. It forced a self-actualization, not a descent into villainy. I think Ascended Astarion is cannon Astarion. He will always be a vampire, and vampires in DnD are always the amplification of a true self. Without ascention, he is still malleable - but I don't think its what he wants. He wants to be powerful (protected by his own power too - his power being a means to self-preservation), he wants to be loved, seen, and free. Free of hunger, free to walk in the sun, free of Cazador. All these things are true regardless of the path you choose. But, they are all only attainable through ascension. When you ascend Astarion - he gets everything he wants and becomes who he truly is.

I'm going to start this with a disclaimer:

I work in the mental health field professionally and majored in Social & Behavioral Science, which is partly why I felt drawn to Astarion as a sort of case study. Characters rooted in trauma are interesting to me and I enjoy picking them apart to judge how real it feels. I utilize my educational and professional background to essentially guide how I write Astarion on this account.

That said, despite me being a professional in the field, all of what I have to say is my personal opinion and interpretation of Astarion's character based on how I interpret the material Larian gave us and the material that can be found in DND lore. Even in real life, things have variation and not all mental health struggles (getting over trauma is part of mental health) present the exact same way. There are theories that exist to try and explain some trends in mental health studies, psychology, and sociology, but again they're called theories for a reason.

Now, my response to this question will be under the cut and will include spoilers.

I know what lore in particular you're referencing, anon, because I've been going back to it a lot ever since I opened this account.

Astarion very much has an insecure attachment style born from his abuse at Cazador's hands. Specifically, an anxious-avoidant attachment type that leans more towards avoidant when he's first met and then begins to swing more towards anxious as he begins to get closer to Tav and the other companions.

Anxious-avoidant attachment types (also known as the “fearful or disorganized type”) bring together the worst of both worlds. Anxious-avoidants are not only afraid of intimacy and commitment, but they distrust and lash out emotionally at anyone who tries to get close to them. Anxious-avoidants often spend much of their time alone and miserable, or in abusive or dysfunctional relationships. Anxious-avoidants are low in confidence and less likely to express emotions, preferring to suppress them. However, they can have intense emotional outbursts when under stress. They also don’t tend to seek help when in need due to a distrust of others. This sucks because they are also incapable of sorting through their own issues. Anxious-avoidants really get the worst of both worlds. They avoid intimacy not because they prefer to be alone like avoidants. Rather, they avoid intimacy because they are so terrified of its potential to hurt them (Mark Manson, Attachment Styles and How They Affect Your Relationships).

Typically, most studies of Attachment Theory focus on the relationship of parents-children or romantic partners, but it can also be applied to any significant relationship someone has in their lifetime. Attachment styles thus are capable of changing based on new relationship experiences.

If you end up giving him the "good" ending where he denies the Ascension, it's implied in his final dialogue that he's actively working towards having a secure attachment type due to the influences of his fellow worm-afflicted associates - particularly Tav.

I think that it's important to also note that, even if Tav doesn't romantically connect with Astarion, he shows hints of desperately wanting someone to care for him, support him, and love him. He does want to know what sex would be like as something other than a tool, and especially what it would be like to actually want to have it just for the pure sake of enjoying having it.

You have to understand that Astarion doesn't even understand the concept of casual sex or friends with benefits. All those times he had to seduce people for Cazador was not casual sex or a friends with benefits situation. All of them were transactions with a means to an end. He got nothing out of seducing those victims besides the possibility of not incurring Cazador's wrath that night - but even then, there was still a possibility because Cazador was an abuser.

Abusers are incapable of providing genuine safety, but can manipulate their victims into believing an illusion of safety. Often times, they manipulate their victims into this by using phrases like "you made me do this by being disobedient", "it wouldn't come to this if you just did what you were told", and then weaponizing basic needs such as shelter, food, and social interaction. The bare minimum becomes something the victim is expected to be grateful for and viewed as a favor, which means anything beyond the bare minimum is expected to be viewed as a theatrical showing of care and love.

In game, Tav has the chance to hear Astarion tell the story of how Cazador turned him. He basically states that he got attacked by a mob due to a ruling he handed down when he was magistrate and then Cazador saved him and offered him immortality. It can be inferred that in his pre-vampiric days, Astarion had no idea that Cazador was abusive to his spawn.

This is likely because it seems that Cazador is careful about his public image. He doesn't allow his spawn to drink from humans, very likely not just as a means to further oppress them and dampen their potential power they could get from drinking people's blood, but also as a way to ensure there's not just a bunch of people out in the city being bitten and left alive to tell the story - or left dead on the street suspiciously.

He has his spawn seduce and lure people, particularly lower class people that would be harder for general society to realize is missing or just that he knows people who could actually challenge him wouldn't care for (you learn that reading some of the books and notes in Szarr Palace). The only exception to this is the kidnapping of Gur children, but even then it seems to fit his MO as it seems Gur are considered somewhat outcasts from the rest of Baldurian society due to their cultural differences.

It should also be noted that he himself doesn't do these seductions or kidnappings. He specifically chooses spawn to be his lackeys and that's likely so, if shit hits the fan and the spawn gets caught, he has deniability since he wasn't there. It's methodical and thought out to keep as many eyes away from him so he can still obtain what he wants and keep sailing under the radar.

Cazador is this methodical and purposeful as a result of his own trauma, which we learn about from the skull of his master in the dungeon of Szaar Palace. There's one interaction in particular with the skull in which Tav can learn that, at one point, Cazador attempted to rebel and usurp his master. Cazador failed and his master punished him via impalement. Not because Cazador had the audacity to try and usurp him, but because Cazador tried and failed. Cazador's master punished Cazador via torture because his master was disgusted by the fact that his spawn was too weak to succeed in such a plot.

Which brings me to my next point... it's not uncommon for victims of abuse to later become abusers. Hence the term Cycle of Abuse exists. Many abusers who were once victims often have the mentality of either "I'm not nearly as bad as my abuser was, they should be grateful I care enough to not be so bad" or "I survived and it made me tougher, they need to suck it up and let it help them build character" or both. They often fail to view their abuse as abuse and fail to recognize how their experience as abuse victims contributes into making them toxic and abusive to others.

There's many peer-reviewed scholarly articles you can find about the cycle of abuse, but one I particularly find useful is Editorial: Dissociation, and cycles of abuse across generations by David P.H. Jones. It talks specifically about parents and children, but I believe some of the general points made can be applied to Cazador and his spawn, as he crafts a very family-like setting that can be seen in the way that his spawn refer to one another as brothers and sisters.

This would thus make him the father figure, a role exponentially made important by the fact he denies his spawn education on things that could serve to give them ideas or the ability to leave him (for example, Astarion mentions that none of the spawn were permitted to learn about the language of the various symbols around the palace) and he consistently chooses his Golden Children (Favored Spawns) as a means of providing more false security. Do what he says, when he says, exactly how he says and don't complain then you will have benefits. You will be Favored, and to have his favor is the highest honor you could achieve.

Torture is clearly presented as Cazador's primary go-to for discipline. Research has also concluded that trauma has a way of affecting the brain and memories.

Trauma can prevent information (like words, images, sounds, etc.) from different parts of the brain from combining to make a semantic memory. The temporal lobe and inferior parietal cortex collect information from different brain areas to create semantic memory (The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine).

Astarion mentions a few times in-game that he can barely remember his life before Cazador, if at all, and a huge part of that is likely because of all the trauma Cazador inflicted upon him that exacerbated the natural occurrence of memory loss from aging (if vampires experience natural memory loss from aging, that is). This is most likely true for all of Cazador's spawn.

I say all this as a set up to truly answering you, anon, specifically where you say: "from being controlled, owned, and tortured to being free, curious, and even powerful. Becoming a full vampire and ascending just amplified that. It forced a self-actualization, not a descent into villainy."

I can argue that Astarion did not feel free up until after a decision to Ascend or not was made. And I argue that stance due to some dialogue he can have with Tav here he basically states that the power Ascension could guarantee that no one, even someone after Cazador is dead, could ever come in to oppress and hurt him again. Even with Cazador dead, he has such an intense fear of being enslaved and used that he turns to catastrophic thoughts as justification to why he needs to Ascend.

Catastrophic thinking is a cognitive distortion that occurs when people have a hard time weighing the likelihood of certain outcomes and believe that terrible or catastrophic outcomes—which are highly unlikely—become, in one’s mind, salient and extremely likely. (Tom Zaubler, MD, MPH).

Aside from the Gur, whom Astarion can manage to evade and even kill perfectly fine as just a spawn, we're not presented with any hints of another big bad in the vampire world that could possibly want Astarion. As such, there's not really any tangible threat, but rather a perceived threat that he believes is destined to darken his doorstep at any time.

His catastrophic thinking is a trauma response. His belief that he needs to be the most powerful being in the room as a way to be truly free is a trauma response. Cazador broke him down emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually to make him believe that he was weak and trapped. Furthermore, that he remained trapped because he was too weak to do anything about it.

You see how this goes full circle into how Cazador's master punished Cazador for not being able to successfully usurp him? It places blame on the victim, allowing shame and helplessness to root that the abuser can manipulate. We know that Astarion definitely feels shame because he tells Tav that. For most of his dialogue until the boss fight, he's constantly bringing up that he did what Cazador wanted and acted obedient because he had no choice.

This is true, he had to act in self-preservation to survive and unfortunately that meant he had to be subservient. A few dialogue choices you can have your Tav pick can challenge Astarion and say he could have still tried, to which he'll rightfully tell Tav that Tav has no right to judge him for the choices he made to survive.

When Astarion encounters Sebastian in the dungeon, its made pretty obvious how much guilt and shame he truly feels. Furthermore, that for all Astarion's protesting and exclaiming that no one has the right to judge him, a part of him did believe that he didn't do enough to try and escape enslavement. A part of himself blamed himself and believed he allowed himself to be abused when, in reality, he was put in a horrible situation with very limited options. He did the best he could in the moment, with what information he had in those moments.

I also want to argue that who Astarion is when we meet him isn't his true self. It's who he had to become in order to survive Cazador. Astarion doesn't even know who his true self is because he didn't have the opportunity to explore his own likes and preferences. Cazador molded all of his spawn because he had a specific purpose for them.

Not only that, but since Cazador would have to more directly deal with these spawn since he used them as lackies, he also would have molded them to behave in ways to his preference so that he wouldn't find their presence unbearable and feel inclined to murder them out of annoyance. This is also where the Favored Spawn being separated and set on a pedestal comes into play. Those who could please him and play to his wants and needs had better benefits. If all of the spawn are acting in self-preservation, they would want to be favored and thus would want to adapt themselves to things Cazador liked and approved of.

This would mean learning to be cruel to those less fortunate and not doing anything as charity. This is the reason why Astarion approves of some questionable decisions Tav can make. Astarion learned his ideals and morality from Cazador because he had to so he could know how to please Cazador and stay in his master's good graces. After a while, even if you started off disagreeing, forcing yourself to act a certain way can become a habit that sticks with you. You convince yourself to enjoy it too so it's easier to swallow.

Astarion craves power because he knows that power is the quickest, easiest, and - what he believes - most effective way to prevent him from having to use that method ever again. It's logical to want power to solve that.

You said in your ask: "He wants to be powerful (protected by his own power too - his power being a means to self-preservation), he wants to be loved, seen, and free. Free of hunger, free to walk in the sun, free of Cazador. All these things are true regardless of the path you choose. But, they are all only attainable through ascension. When you ascend Astarion - he gets everything he wants and becomes who he truly is."

In the most literal of terms, yes, Ascension gives him all of those. However, since the basis of him believing he needs power to be free is rooted in fear, that's not actually really freedom. That is still his fear ruling over him.

There's a stark difference in what someone wants versus what they need. He wants power, to be seen, to be loved, and to be free. What he actually needs is security, stability, support, consistency, empathy, and autonomy. The things he wants is what he believes will solve the empty cups of what he needs, and he believes that because the only example he had on how to act to get what you want - until the events of the game - was Cazador. He literally had no other example of how to get your needs met except through selfishness, cruelty, force, manipulation, and abuse.

Again, I reiterate. The Astarion we first meet is not Astarion's true nature. Astarion's true nature was corrupted by his abuse from Cazador and the subsequent trauma that followed. If it had been his true nature, he would have happily been Cazador's subject because their true natures would have been in alignment.

It only becomes his true nature if he allows that trauma to define him and decides that he needs to embrace it rather than fight it. That is then what gets amplified because that fear that roots those wants becomes amplified.

Honestly, it's impossible to say what would be canon for Astarion because there's too many factors.

Studies have shown that having more supportive and positive influences, even if its later in life after leaving the abuser, tends to work in favor of the victim breaking the cycle of abuse. As such, I think that if you make a Tav who's core values are autonomy, consent, second chances, and redemption and somehow manage to get high enough approval that he'd even consider caring what they think; then its more likely that Astarion would reject Ascension due to observing how much softer, kinder, patient, and merciful Tav is.

But if its a Tav that has no interest in getting to know him beyond the surface or Tav doesn't exist at all, I honestly think he would end up going through with Ascension. Mostly because, to me, it seems like he didn't really bother to have more than surface level interactions with the other companions and the other companions really only ended up getting to know him better as a result to Tav managing to get past his masking. He does not lower his mask on his own accord, only after certain things are done and said by Tav.

Unfortunately, I just don't really think any of the other companions you can pick up in-game would really be able to provide support and determined consistency in the same way that players can make Tav. Hence I don't think he'd end up caring enough about any of them to ever start to think that perhaps freedom can be defined differently than the way he initially believes, and would view Ascension as the only right way to get his needs fulfilled.

#hc ; in one's blood #long post #bg3 spoilers #cw: trauma #cw: abuse #penned by grim ;#askbox ; blood oath

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f1letters · 1 year

Text

snow on the beach | ls18

"you wanting me tonight feels impossible, but it's coming down"

summary: nothing would ever compare to the feeling of simultaneously falling in love with each other

warning: overall fluff, rom-com energy that WILL cure any heartbreak really, friends to lovers, mentions of alcohol, swearing, just a story about the exact moment when two people realize they fell in love with each other, not proofread (because my laptop is acting up and i'm done for today lol)

pairing: lance stroll x reader

word count: 3.2k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

hey everyone! honestly I've been feeling a bit down lately so this Wednesday I indulged my (not so) secret (now) crush on lance stroll and decided to treat myself (and all the lance lovers ofc) to some well-deserved lance content, haha! and for the ones who don't like him... just give it a try anyways and trust the process haha! enjoy! 💜

masterlist

One night, a few moons ago

I saw flecks of what could've been lights

But it might just have been you

Passing by unbeknownst to me

Do you know the feeling of your soul inexplicably catching fire? Of losing control of your thoughts all at once? Of your body being filled with enthusiasm at the sight of someone?

Y/N was very familiar with the thrill that hovered every time their eyes met across the room, as lately, it seemed to happen every time the young woman shared the same space with him.

It didn't matter how much she tried to deny it, or how much she looked for other justifications that would explain the butterflies she felt in her stomach.

One thing was for sure: even in a room full of the most important people in her life, she still found herself continuously looking for his big, beautiful, brown eyes.

It was almost like he was the light in every room she entered.

The driver's lips curved gently, giving her a small lopsided smile as he returned his attention to her brother, bringing his glass back to his lips.

The girl's attention dropped from his eyes to his soft lips, studying the sensual way his mouth moved as he drank the rest of his whiskey.

I wonder how his lips would feel on m- Stop, what are you even thinking?! Y/N shook her head, letting out a quiet growl, as she stopped whatever fantasy her mind was trying to create before it was possible.

We're just friends. She thought, trying to convince herself that this was just a moment of weakness. Maybe not even that.

Okay, sure, Y/N and Lance seemed to get along beautifully, the two naturally gravitating towards each other every time they got together. But in reality, Y/N couldn't help thinking that he was just being nice, keeping his future brother-in-law's little sister company.

Glancing at the boy beside the Canadian, she saw Scotty who, as if reading the thoughts in his sister's head, turned towards her and gave her a small wave, followed by a hand gesture to invite her to join them.

Y/N laughed nervously, shaking her head, and decided to walk to the large dining room table to get some more appetizers on her plate.

Nothing like good food to entertain a confused girl.

Life is emotionally abusive

And time can't stop me quite like you did

And my flight was awful, thanks for asking

I'm unglued, thanks to you

Her eyes admired the decorations throughout the house, adorned in detail, without missing a single corner. It was clear that the eldest James sibling and his fiancée had set no limits on their housewarming party.

Their new home was simply magnificent. Its rustic stone walls perfectly complemented its wooden beams and columns, maintaining the house's original charm yet giving it a modern touch.

The living room led to a majestic timbered window where Y/N seemed to spend eternities admiring the view from the top of the snow-covered mountain.

This really is Scotty's dream, endless snow, she smiled unconsciously.

"Uh-oh, she's smiling." She heard the Australian beside her, her smile growing exponentially as he leaned his back against the wall next to the window. "This can only mean danger."

"Shut up, you idiot." The girl shoved his arm playfully, shaking her head in annoyance. "FYI, I was having a proud sister moment, but I'm glad you stopped me. I definitely needed someone to wake me up from my temporary madness episode."

"Aww, baby sis, you're sooo cute." Scotty pinched her cheek, just like he always did since they were little, in order to annoy her. He knew how much she hated when he did that, so it didn't come as a surprise when she slapped his hand away from her face. "Hey! This is a no-violence zone. Just because you're an adult now doesn't mean I won't tell Mum and Dad."

Y/N rolled her eyes at the image of the smirk on her brother's face. "Just leave me alone, Scott. Go piss off Chloe or something."

The girl turned back towards the food, picking up a small pastry for herself, while the boy put his arm around his sister's shoulders.

He sighed dramatically, although she could still hear the smile on his face. "And here I was thinking you were going to say that I should 'go piss off Lance'... But I'm sure you would rather have that task for yourself, right sis?"

Almost choking on the delicacy she was eating, the girl started to cough, drawing way too much unnecessary attention to her.

Scotty was informing everyone that she was fine, enjoying her reaction to his words too much, as her eyes rose from the table.

And she couldn't help but curse her bad luck when she found Lance at the other end of the room, right in front of her, wearing a concerned look on his face, as she almost choked to death.

At that moment, she realized not even time stopped her quite like he did.

But mostly, she realized she was completely and utterly fucked.

And it's like snow at the beach

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me

Tonight feels impossible

But it's comin' down

No sound, it's all around

Scotty was patting her on the back, trying to help her, but he was interrupted by the sudden movement of the girl turning towards him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She was nervously fixing her hair, her voice still struggling to come out.

Her older brother couldn't contain his laughter, letting his hand rest on the girl's shoulder. "Oh, my sweet, sweet Y/N... Everyone knows you're head over heels for our boy Lance! No need to deny it, especially to your big bro."

"WHAT?!" She yelled, drawing all eyes in the room back to her. She chuckled lightly turning to the crowd. Before anyone could say anything, she grabbed Scotty's wrist and pulled him into the kitchen. "What?!" She scream-whispered now.

"You heard me." Scotty said, crossing his arms confidently in front of her chest. "You have a big fat crush on Lance and you know it, I know it, everyone knows it!"

"Only someone blind wouldn't be capable of seeing it!" He continued to tease her, having too much fun making her uncomfortable. "In fact, even a blind man could tell by the way you sigh all lovey-dovey every time he walks by you."

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

"Yes. You. Do." Scotty emphasized word for word, making the girl give up, even though she would never admit defeat. The man took advantage of her silence to provoke her even more. "Y/N and Lance, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-"

"Scott, stop! Are you a fucking child?" Y/N approached him, covering his mouth with her hand. "I hate you, I swear. Stop this nonsense!"

"Don't worry, baby sis, he likes you too. I'm sure of it." The snowboarder said, giving his sister a kiss on her temple and a final pat on the shoulder, and leaving her alone in the kitchen with her own thoughts.

Lance? Wanting me? That feels impossible. She thought to herself, feeling slightly disappointed.

But she never let those feelings hang in the air too long, immediately contradicting them.

It doesn't matter. I do not like him.

We're just friends.

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, ah

Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall, Lance swept through the crowd anxiously in search of the girl that he couldn't seem to get out of his head ever since he laid eyes on her that afternoon.

Though he himself also denied his growing feelings for the young woman, Lance couldn't help but notice how his palms were sweating, or how his heart was beating faster.

He just couldn't help but feel worried when she disappeared in that state, leaving him wondering how she was.

Waking him up from his ceaseless search, a familiar hand landed on his shoulder, making him turn and find his sister with a sly smile on her face.

"Thank God you chose Formula 1 as a career because you would make a terrible actor."

"What on earth-"

"Get that lost puppy look off your face, Y/N's fine!" Chloe laughed, shaking her head. "Who knew? Two Strolls and two Jameses..."

"I'm not- I was just-" The driver found himself stuttering, unable to form a coherent sentence. "Jesus, Chloe, we're just friends! Friends care about each other. Don't start with this shit again."

"Mm-hmm, sure, friends." Chloe pretended to accept the repetitive excuse that came out of her brother's mouth every time. "I love it when you lie straight to my face just because you don't have the courage to admit that you have the hots for my favourite sister-in-law."

"I don't have the hots for-"

"Hey, watch it, pretty boy!" A voice appeared from behind him as the mysterious person quickly hugged the Canadian by his shoulders, causing his older sister to laugh uncontrollably. "It's my baby sister we're talking about here! Control your emotions, Romeo!"

"I- She- I don't-" Lance found himself in an even more awkward position again, suddenly turning into a deer in the headlights as he was caught off guard.

"Ahhh, kids." Scotty sighed, moving to his fiancée's side, leaning his head against hers without taking his eyes off the boy in front of him. "So young, so in love, and most of all... so stupid."

Lance threw his hands in the air in frustration, turning his back on the couple as he headed to the porch where he would be able to finally get rid of the two of them.

This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen

I searched "aurora borealis green"

I've never seen someone lit from within

Blurring out my periphery

Lance carefully opened the elegant glass doors, being immediately hit by the intense cold that settled at the top of the mountain as usual.

He silently thanked himself for remembering to put on his army green padded coat and his grey beanie on his head. He would never have been able to survive those freezing temperatures without them, even if his Canadian blood helped him a bit.

Another factor that quickly contributed to his body heating up was the girl sitting by herself on the wooden stairs.

As soon as his brown eyes landed on Y/N, the driver could have sworn his heart started pumping faster.

Just a coincidence, he thought, this is all Chloe's fault for putting these ideas in my head.

Gathering the little courage he had left to face these new feelings that were beginning to stir within him, Lance silently walked over to her and sat down on her left side, making the girl jump in fright.

"Oh my God, Lance!" She brought one of her black-gloved hands to her chest in shock, as the other one removed the AirPods from her ears. "You were about to give me a heart attack! Please don't scare a girl like that without warning."

"Sorry, sorry! It won't happen again!" He put his hand on top of her shoulder, laughing at her reaction.

He took a few moments of silence to watch as her eyes sparkled with excitement as she took in her surroundings.

"God, it's really beautiful up here, don't you agree?" She said, almost in a whisper.

Lance kept his gaze focused on her, not even thinking about taking his eyes off her beauty.

"Just like a movie scene."

My smile is like I won a contest

And to hide that would be so dishonest

And it's fine to fake it 'til you make it

'Til you do, 'til it's true

Unaware that he was subconsciously referring to her and not the dazzling snow that surrounded them, Y/N spoke in agreement. "It is, isn't it? I feel like I'm trapped in a Christmas movie or something." She laughed, eventually letting out a happy sigh. "They're going to love living here. I'm so happy for Scotty and Chloe, you know? They deserve this."

"Yeah, me too. They deserve more than anyone else to live their dream." Lance saw the girl shiver from the corner of his eye as she hug her own body closer. The driver moved closer to her and let his hands run up and down her arms to try to warm her up. "Are you cold? Do you want to go back in?"

"No, no! I'm fine! Just a little chilly, that's all, but thanks."

"Here." The boy removed the hat from his head, pulling it over her hair. The girl blushed at the affectionate gesture, not being able to hide the smile that was stamped on her face as if she had just won a contest. "That will make you stay warmer."

Now it's like snow at the beach

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me

Tonight feels impossible

But it's comin' down

No sound, it's all around

"Thanks, Lance. You didn't have to do that." The girl smoothed her hair shyly, pulling it behind her ear.

As it always seemed to happen, their eyes met, and couldn't let go. They were like magnets, drawn to each other. They just couldn't stand being apart from each other.

With no sound around them other than the muffled voices from inside the house, they both felt their stomachs drop as they both realized it simultaneously.

Fuck me, I'm completely in love with him, Y/N thought.

Fuck me, I'm madly in love with her, Lance thought.

Suddenly, all seemed to be coming down. The two felt consumed all around by the connection between them and they both knew they could no longer escape their undeniable attraction.

"I think I've had enough socializing for today," Lance said, charged with adrenaline. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"Lead the way, Stroll."

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, ah

The wind blew in through the open windows of the driver's Aston Martin as the two made their escape without anyone back at the party noticing.

The girl's hair was blowing in the breeze and, even though he knew he should keep his eyes on the road, Lance couldn't help but appreciate the moment and the fascinating smile she wore on her face as she sang to the song that echoed through the car.

God, she's just... absolutely gorgeous, he thought to himself.

A small smile appeared on his face, mirroring hers, as he imagined how much his older sister was going to piss him off for being right this whole time about the boy's crush on Scotty's sister.

Hopefully, the headache would pay off and he would have a chance to get the girl.

I can't speak, afraid to jinx it

I don't even dare to wish it

But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet

Now I'm all for you like Janet

Can this be a real thing? Can it?

"We're here." The boy said, parking the car in an empty lot with no one in sight.

"The beach! I love this place, how did you know?" Y/N jumped with joy, getting out of the car and letting her arms wrap around his shoulders without thinking too much about what she was doing. "Oh, sorry! I don't know what-"

She was about to pull away when Lance, driven by the realization of his most intimate emotions, pulled her closer to him by the waist. The girl's eyes widened as his face approached hers. "Just took a guess."

Oh but it wasn't a guess.

In all the years they'd known each other, Lance had found himself noticing every detail about Y/N.

The way her eyes sparkled when she talked about the happiest days of her life being at the beach.

How she bit her bottom lip every time someone asked her about her unstable career as an artist.

How she tugged the skins on her thumb impatiently whenever she didn't have her hands busy with some task.

Lance didn't know if he could speak, if he shouldn't wish for a chance with her.

He was scared, no, he was completely terrified of the idea that he might lose her.

Could they one day become a real thing?

Fuck it, he thought. It was now or never.

The driver went all-in and risked everything, moving closer to the girl as his eyes dropped to her plump lips.

He felt a gasp come out of her mouth, such was the way she was taken aback by his sudden move on her, but Lance didn't flinch and persisted on his way to her, until he felt her lips brush against his.

The two leaned towards each other, ready to be eternally consumed by their burning passion...

Until they felt a snowflake fall between their barely joined lips.

Are we falling like snow at the beach?

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me

Tonight feels impossible

But it's comin' down

No sound, it's all around

Y/N turned away from him as her eyes watched as the snow fell from the sky, painting the sand on the beach white.

"Is that-" Y/N couldn't believe her eyes.

"Snow? On the beach?" Lance replied, equally confused. "This is so-"

"Weird." "Fucking beautiful." The two spoke simultaneously, bursting into laughter at the difference in their reactions.

Like snow on the beach (Snow on the beach)

Like snow on the beach (Flying in a dream)

Like snow on the beach (You wanting me)

Like snow, ah

But it's comin' down

No sound, it's all around

Lance's hand came up to the face of the girl in front of him, stroking her jaw with his thumb as he pressed his lips to hers not wanting to risk the moment being interrupted again.

His mouth pressed over her slightly pursed lips, starting with a gentle kiss and building in intensity as they both lost themselves in the moment for what felt like forever.

"I don't know how to put this into words but... Y/N, you are the most amazing, beautiful, fascinating girl I've ever met. Since I laid eyes on you, I've been head over heels for you. I've tried to deny it- Well, more because Chloe kept bugging me about my crush on you." The driver began to ramble on with the nervousness that came with his feeble attempt at a declaration of love. "Anyway, focus Lance! Y/N, you- You are everything. I-"

"Lance." The girl laughed, placing her hands on either side of his face and placing a quick kiss on his mouth. "I love you too."

"Yeah, those are the exact words I meant to say." He laughed, reuniting their lips once again, as they both got lost in their own little wonderland.

Like snow on the beach

(It's comin' down, it's comin' down)

taglist: @dan3avocado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12

@amsofftrack @scuderiamh @junkiespromise @loudoperahumanoidpanda @honeyric3 @holy-macncheese-balls @ricciardosheart @pierreverstapkin @ravenqueen27 @majkaftorek @home-of-disaster @buendiabebeta @itgirlofnowhere @roses-of-eden @thewintersunset @rubychocolatechips

(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

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a-sip-of-milo · 6 months

Text

Coming back to this post again for a second, because it's gaining a lot of attraction from ableists.

If someone perceived as a narcissist or a borderline or an antisocial was abusing another person to the point where they had to retaliate, nobody would bat an eye. They'd be praised for being brave enough to stand up to such a horrible human being and given support so they can heal and move on (as any victim of abuse should be treated!)

But for some reason, nobody keeps that same energy if the victim has a recognised cluster b disorder? In fact, not only are we not offered any help, but we are then labelled as the abuser.

And what gets me is that nowhere in that post did I mention abuse or violence or anything like that. My exact examples were getting upset and standing up for ourselves, and people took that to mean I'm advocating for murder or some shit. It's ridiculous.

This response is what baffled me the most. The person talks about how they "work with kids who straight up are very violent" (whatever the fuck that means) and has known about one of their students bullying the other. They didn't mention what that bullying entailed or how long it's gone on for, only that the victim eventually took it into their own hands to defend themself because nobody else was helping.

All this person had to say about the bully?

"that is fucked up and hes a brat and the school needs to be better at dealing with it. However"

If that child had the support they needed, they wouldn't have had the chance to turn to violence. They wouldn't have felt the need to defend themself in the way that they did because the people around them would have been doing it for them.

Some adults don't even have the life experience to be able to handle a situation like that in a calm and rational manner, let alone a fucking child.

#tw ableism mention #npd safe #aspd safe #hpd safe #bpd safe #cluster b safe #cluster b #tw bullying #tw violence #actually cluster b

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azriel-scum · 8 months

Text

It wasn't supposed to be this way - Part 2

Hi hey hello! Part 2 is here! I'm worried that there are some inconsistencies from part 1 to part 2 and if there are certain things that don't add up. I wanted to get this out, but I'm also considering going back to revise both parts to make sure it flows!

This is my first time actually posting fanfiction, I've been reading it for as long as I can remember and writing here and there, but I feel like I'm still trying to nail down my writing style. I might make some minor changes, but I'm very much open to any feedback!

Warnings: Domestic abuse

Tags: @littleffawn, @frogsandhomicidalducks

Walking with her head low, Elara neared the center of the city.

It was heartbreaking to walk through the city this way - actively trying to avoid everyone, trying to not be recognized.

Velaris meant a lot to everyone in the inner circle and Elara would never try to claim that it meant more to her than anyone else. All of them would unquestionably lay down their lives to protect this place - Gods Rhysand had done just that - had experienced something worse than death for fifty years straight.

At the risk of being too self important, some days she felt like Rhysand was the only person who could truly relate to how she felt about how deeply her soul was intertwined to this city. The fae who lived here, their families, their stories. It wasn't just that - it was the priestesses in the library, it was the Illyrian warriors who had been outcasts of the camps, and all of the other souls this city has taken in.

Having to hide herself away from the citizens of the city, sneak around to hide a dark and twisted secret, being too ashamed to show her face - was truly heartbreaking to her. It affected her in a way that most would never understand. She ached to describe this feeling to someone, to unload the heavy mass of shame she was carrying, but who could she possibly tell?

Rhysand was the closest thing she had to an older sibling, he understood the way she grew up and where she came from, understood how much this city meant to her and above all else, truly understood the burden of having others rely on you to perform and deliver what was needed of you.

Rhysand's inner circle were trusted individuals, they were competent - they did what needed to be done and they rarely, if ever, let themselves slip away from that. How could he continue entrusting her with the city if Elara couldn't even be trusted with making the right decisions about her personal life?

Somedays it felt like the shame she carried was more visible than any bruise Merikh could've ever given her.

She neared her mother's house, somewhere she had once loved, a place that once represented freedom and new beginnings, now a house of looming death.

There was a group of young Fae walking on the other side of the road, bright eyed and eager, Elara looked up and smiled at them out of habit. One of her most favorite things to do was visit the schools in Velaris as often as she could. For a moment she foolishly forgot about being on guard, and wistfully thought about what it would be like to hit a reset button, to have developed differently, to give the chemicals in her brain a second chance. To be a young female again, bright eyed and eager about the world.

From behind her, a steady and authoritative male voice spoke with the calmness and respect that only a trained and diplomatic soldier can master.

"Governess"

Her back straightened at the exact same moment that her heart stopped beating. Slowly, she turned around, because what other choice did she have?

As she turned around, the male's head was still ducked into a bow and Elara had a fleeting thought - this was the one millisecond she had before he would see the state of her neck and face, the very last moment before she would have to come up with some kind of explanation. As the male raised his head to look her she ducked her head briefly as a sign of respect, never quite used to having people bow to her and never wanting to leave it unanswered.

Raising her head to look at the male, she recognized him as being a spy from the night court, one of Azriel's trusted soldiers.

"Sylas," she greeted him with a smile, lest he sense anything amiss with her, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I've just returned from a mission and was walking through the city. I saw you from across the way and thought I would say hello," His tone was easy and he was smiling, but Elara was keenly aware of him cataloging her appearance.

Quick on your feet Elara

"Well that makes two of us, I've just returned to the city and was paying my mother a visit," the lie slipped out easily and much more naturally than she could've hoped for. "I trust I'll be hearing about your travels and the state of Prythian soon." Elara received weekly reports, occasionally from Azriel, but more often than not he was away and the report came from one of his spies.

Sylas nodded affirmatively and replied "I look forward to hearing about your mission as well," pointedly, he looked at the bruises on her face, "I'd hate to see what your opponent looks like."

Elara's heart dropped and her anxiety spiked, but ever the composed warrior she simply gave Sylas a conspiratorial smile and wink.

"I'll see you at our next meeting, take care of yourself, Sylas"

He briefly bowed his head one final time and with that he was off.

fuck. fuck. fuck.

What were the odds a spy trained to work under Azriel himself didn't see straight through that entire interaction?

Elara wouldn't bet anything valuable on it. She just hoped he had enough discretion to keep his mouth shut.

With her face bruised, her heart pounding and her head held high she entered her mother's house.

She opened the door to good natured chaos.

Endor and Elvira had music playing through the house and they were dancing in the living room - trying and failing - to spin each other around. Her mother was sitting up in her recliner, laughing, a rare but golden sight to see.

For a brief moment, Elara stood at the door, her family not quite noticing her yet and she smiled, a glimpse of the version of her family without the abuse and the hardship.

Her brother twirls Elvira around and as she turns she catches a glimpse of Elara standing at the door.

"Ellie!! What are you doing here?" her sister runs across the room, but stops halfway, "what happened to see your face?"

Ellie offered her a simple sheepish shrug and said simply "duty called again."

Elvira laughed and hugged her, Endor gave her a fist bump, and her mother just shook her head and smiled.

A wave of shame crashed over her.

Her job obviously required that she be diplomatic and act with discretion, if that meant lying or being a little manipulative, so be it - but this kind of behavior had never infiltrated to her personal life, to her personal relationships.

Elara had perfected the art of compartmentalizing quite a few hundred years ago - and she shoved this feeling into dungeon cell in the depths of her brain and stored it under lock and key.

Her siblings had already gone back to dancing and her both motioned to the seat beside her.

For the next few hours they laughed and talked, her and her brother cooked lunch, and they sat around her mother, just being in her presence.

A good reminder for Elara that she needed to do this more often.

The music had been stopped for a while, Laurel had dozed off and Endor had gone to train with some friends. The two sisters were sitting out in the backyard and it was nice - there were so many things Elara wanted to discuss with her - the state of relationship, her mother, Elvira's future and a number of other things that could and should be address but it all felt too heavy to bring up now.

Sitting out in the sun made Elara feel much better, her wings felt less sore and when she had looked in the mirror earlier, the bruises were mostly faded, the accelerated healing finally starting to kick in. She had barely thought about Merikh since being here; her mind wouldn't allow her to out of pure preservation. She did allow her mind to wonder where he was, if he had returned to their apartment, if she should go back there and if he would be in a good mood if she did.

Without warning, there was a knock on her mental shields. Elara immediately recognized it as being Rhysand. Immediately, she opened a small sliver of her mind.

"El, come to House of Wind as soon as possible. No immediate threat to the city, but we have intel that needs to be discussed."

She responded affirmatively and stood up. "Sorry little sis, duty is calling. Tell Mom and Enny I'll be back sometime this week, I love you."

Her sister, as the rest of her family, was used to her having to dash off for various reasons with little to no warning. She simply nodded and Elara was off.

She flew over the city to the house, wings sore and mind heavy. Elara allowed herself for just a moment to consider her current situation and what she would do.

Leaving. Leaving was the only option. She knew that, had for some time.

She arrived to the house and was immediately greeted by Feyre.

"I know I said we wouldn't bother you, I'm terribly sorry."

Elara shook her head and smiled duty calls.

She followed Feyre into the dining room. Rhysand was sat at the head of the table, Cassian was standing at his side energy buzzing through him and Azriel was sat slightly off to the side shrouded in shadows; Amren and Mor sat toward the middle of the rectangular table. Elara recognized a few of Azriel's spies and a few of Cassian's soldiers.

She scanned around the rest of the table and had to physically restrain herself from reacting. Merikh sat at the other end of the table speaking with Sylas, Azriel's spy whom she had crossed paths with earlier in the day. Her heart started to race, but she made a conscious effort to slow it down, lest she spread a scent of fear or anxiety throughout the room.

Rhysand looks up to see his Governess entering the room his eyes glaze over ever so slightly and he spoke to her mind.

Sylas went out to the northern steppes this morning. We had heard word of an errant camp leader that had moved his people closer to the mountain, he's amassed a larger group under his lead and he's been conducting some very concerning drills and shows of strength.

It was not unusual for Illyrian camp leaders to be causing unrest. While Elara herself was not directly responsible for this area, it was very pertinent that she was made aware of disruptions or possible sources of conflict. Usually, though it would not have required an emergency meeting.

Rhys must have sensed Elara's slight confusion and he continued his explanation.

Of course, as you know, these kinds of things aren't unusual. Sylas came back and gave report, we weren't particularly concerned, but Azriel heard one of the names of the Illyrians and recognized him as being a citizen of Velaris.

An active member of the camp or a hostage? That felt like a ridiculous question, but the whole scenario was borderline unbelievable. Neither option seemed realistic, but how else would a citizen of Velaris join a camp in the Illyrian steppes. Why else?

It seems he is an active member by choice. How or why he got out there I'm really not sure. We have Merikh monitoring the situation, but of course it's something to keep an eye on. We can't have them recruiting people out of Velaris.

Certainly not.

She turned around to the rest of the room. Merikh was trying to make eye contact with her, she could feel a little bit of his anxious energy. Maybe he was trying to gauge her thoughts, figure out how volatile she was feeling. In their home, Merikh might have the power over her, but in this house and with these people, Merikh was lucky to have even found someone to take the time to bring him up to the meeting room.

Rhys nodded toward her. Your meeting Elara Starlight, we follow your lead.

She made eye contact with Azriel and Cassian, smiling to acknowledge them. Cassian smiled back, Azriel simply nodded. There was something about his silent acknowledgement that gave her a boost of confidence.

Addressing the room she asked, "what do we know about the citizen of Velaris? How could he have gotten to the steppes?"

Sylas opened his mouth to speak, after getting a small go ahead gesture from Azriel, but Merikh was quicker.

"I believe he was frustrated with the lack of opportunity here, there have been a lot of changes and there's no place for a male like him anymore. He seems like a restless male that would've been better suited for the Illyrian lifestyle. If he fits better there, why would we bring him back?"

Elara couldn't find a way to respond to that without blasting him out of his seat, so she simply stayed silent and turned toward Sylas.

He ducked his head toward her, "Governess, I can't say why he joined, but I do believe that the leader of this particular camp is ramping up his recruiting efforts. He's very eager to grow his numbers and spread his message."

Azriel added in "We will be running missions through that region regularly and making contact with leaders and members. I feel we should have extra boots on the ground here in order to ensure we're not losing anymore of our citizens to this cause."

"I'll speak to my contacts throughout the city to see if I can better understand the situation and will of course report back. Azriel, we'll be in touch about missions and Sylas," she turned to the spy, "I might pull you in for some intel gathering around the city and I would like to go out to the Illyrian steppes to see it for myself." Elara hadn't been out to Illyria in quite some time, she was not necessarily eager, but there a was a threat to be handled and she knew she needed to be out there.

Elara opened her mouth to ask Cassian a question about the Illyrian soldiers and if there were any grumblings across their ranks but Merikh stood up before she could get the words out.

Her anxiety spiked and dread overwhelmed her. If it was possible to die of second hand embarrassment, Elara's death would be the most eminent it ever had them.

"Now hold on, I'm the emissary between these lands, I should be the one to go. I would not need an spy escort to make sure I'm not raped and maimed for a simple visit. We've already lost a citizen to their groups, it doesn't -"

"If the governess wishes to visit the Steppes, I will see to it that she makes the visit." Azriel spoke with such finality that everyone was quiet for several moments.

Rhsyand had been quiet for the majority of the conversation and he was now carefully and silently considering Merikh.

Elara stood there in silent shame. How horrible was it to have your partner speak of you in that way in front of the High Lord and inner circle. How was she ever meant to be taken seriously?

Feyre, Elara do you believe we're done here? Rhysand asked mind to mind. Elara indicated it was and Feyre agreed.

"We will continue to monitor the situation and take the next steps we've decided on."

With Rhysand's dismissal, everyone stood from the table, some hanging around to talk, others laughing about their days; the serious events from the meeting almost entirely forgotten.

Elara walked down the hallway to pop into her office, while she didn't work out of it often, there was some paperwork and letters she wanted to retrieve. As she opened the door, she heard footsteps behind her and immediately knew it was Merikh. Before she could decide on what to do he had a grip on her forearm and was in her face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Elara opened her mouth to respond and he shoved her back further into the office.

"You made me look like a fool out there. You've turned this city to shit and now you want to come in looking like the hero and step over me to go out to Illyria."

Elara stayed silent. It was better than trying to reason with him when he was in this state.

In the back of her mind, she clocked the softest sound of a heal turn around the corner. Unsure if Merikh heard it or not, she tried to back out of his grasp, worried someone would see what was going on. He held on tighter and opened his mouth to berate her again - she heard another soft step in their direction, this time Merikh heard it, but before he could fully react, Azriel was standing in the doorway.

Elara had never felt shame quite like what she was feeling in this moment. She had never wished to disappear more, had never wanted to be invisible and cease to exist quite as much as she did right now. Azriel could be quieter than silence itself, Elara knew that as well as anyone else. Had he made the noise intentionally to alert them of his presence? Had he misjudged the situation, wanted to avoid catching them in a compromising situation?

Azriel stood for a moment, considering the two of them.

"Merikh, you're needed in the foyer, Rhsyand needs to speak with you."

Merikh, had tried to disguise his hand placements as a romantic gesture, removed his arms from her shoulder and nodded once before leaving the room.

And there stood you and Azriel.

Heart racing and blood pumping, anxiety spiked so high she was starting to shake.

Calm and composed, Azriel stood like a stone in the doorway. It seemed he was rendered speechless.

#acotar #innercircle #rhysand #azriel #cassian #acotar imagines #a court of thorns and roses #cassian x reader #azriel x reader #rhysand x reader #feyre

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kiltongrammarwriter94 · 2 months

Text

The Case of The Heart's Whisper 18+

Pairing: Pippa Fitz Amobi x Fem Reader

Summary: You didn't realize having a relationship with Andie Bell would lead you to become Pippa Fitz Amobi's main resource in Andie Bell's complex life. You also didn't expect to fall for the detective, especially since you're still hanging on the girl who broke your heart.

words:6k

Authors Note: I wrote this piece quite a while ago after reading halfway through the first book, for that matter this story includes many inconsistencies and does not follow booklore in terms of storyline or even timelines. What if reader helps pip with the case and ends up falling in love with Pip? but a bit Andie-coded because I just love her. This was just meant as a fun writer's challenge and is meant to be entertaining. Please also keep in mind this was written before I finished the first book.

Warnings: Past Andie x fem reader, angst, fluff, possessive pip if you squint. Mentions of child abuse, toxic parenting, Andie bell haunting everyone from the grave. Dark pip having the ability to bring me to my knees. This story is not suppose to make sense. That’s about it. Steamy but actual smut is not written. Not proof read. Reader is on her last year in school. Being held back a year for therapy. Cussing.

"What was your relationship with Andie Bell?". You gulped, feeling tears start to brim at just the name. Her name. Images of soft blue eyes and Andie's infamous smirk replayed in your mind like a broken record. Bringing back memories you had flushed away, locked away tight.

Under the watchful glare of Pippa Fitz Amobi, you felt your tongue dry against the roof of your mouth. Her words replaying in your mind, 'what was your relationship with Andie Bell?'

It wasn't that easy. You wish you could have gotten up from your seat in the canteen, where pip laid out her voice recorder, her strong willful blue eyes seeming to crawl over your skin, but not in a predatory manner, you couldn't help but notice the way she was staring at you. It made your stomach flip, your eyes burn, it felt all too familiar, the way her eyes were focused on you. With such intensity.

Just like her.

It had been forever since someone had eyed you like that. Five whole years to be exact.

A deep guttural sound boomed you away from your thoughts and your eyes moved to the boy who sat across from you, Ravi singh. His eyes were on you as well, except you couldn't help but feel like he was judging you. Sitting down with his arms crossed and his dark eyes looking into your soul, how were you suppose to tell him that Andie had been interested in you. That she had personally took you aside after you had stumbled upon Sal and Andie in the canteen, Andie with her usual puppy dog eyes directed at Sal. It had hurt, like a sucker punch to the gut.

All the things Andie had said to you during your studying lesson. It all had been lies. Of course you did nothing, only turned back on your heel, book bag in hand. You heard rushed footsteps next and then Andie was behind you. Her force strong and impatient, "y/n wait!! I didn't mean for you to see that". You had halted, burning red eyes and betrayal filling your veins. You turned on the girl, yanking your hand from under her touch.

"My friends were right about you Andie bell. You're nothing but a cruel mean person who will use anyone for your gain! I should have known the minute you came to talk to me that you had no intention of being my friend! Or whatever the hell you were playing at. Do yourself a favor, get another French tutor. I'm done."

Cue to the next day, when you were making your usual walk to Kilton grammar l, beanie in hand as the chilly English weather had been harsh at that day, numbing your fingers to the bone. Your father never was one for making sure you were comfortable and safe, his job stopped the day you were born. Despite your rough upbringing you were usually rather optimistic, everyone always said you were a female version of Sal signh. Not exactly what you wanted to hear, but maybe that was why Andie gravitated torward you. You shook your head, Andie Bell was out of your life. And like life, you watched as a silver SUV parked along side you, Andie bell in the front seat, brows furrowed.

"Get in the car you'll freeze to death" she spoke. You only continued walking, defiant. "I prefer the cold air, it makes my immune system stronger".

You didn't expect Andie to park the car, getting out with a grumble and practically tackling you. If you closed your eyes just enough you could still feel Andie's soft fingers ghosting over your cheeks bones, hot breathe against your ear. "I apologize for what I did. It's just...Sal is my best friend. And perhaps I should have broke it off with him, but it's hard. And then you came into the canteen and I panicked, I'm not use to panicking. I-" Andie's blue eyes had remained still, blush on her cheeks. "I like you y/n. Like a lot. It wasn't suppose to happen at first I really did need help with my French, but then I started noticing things about you. Like how you're always so sweet to others, how you mumble when you're nervous. Or how no matter how much your dad makes you unhappy, you always seem to be shining. Why is that? Is there some sort of secret?".

You remember feeling like you were in the twilight zone. Andie bell was a popular girl, a popular girl with a cruel heart, one who enjoyed hurting others. And yet here she was, helping you up and dusting your trousers. Her eyes warm and soft. Why she liked you, you didn't know. But you wanted to know why.

Needless to say how were you suppose to sit and say that Andie bell had liked you, not to Ravi Singh , that would just make him hate you more. And perhaps you felt guilty. Because his brother had died for Andie bell. And she had been playing games with you.

A soft brush of fingers against your hand made you turn back to the girl, in an act of utter coincidence or an act of kindness, you weren't sure which she spoke, this time to Ravi.

"Ravi would you mind leaving us two girls together? I believe y/n would feel more comfortable giving me her account without others listening in".

At this you watched as Ravi immediately stood up, eying you with strange eyes, before walking out of the canteen, the door's hinges making an utter awful squeaking noise that reminded you of the deer your father use to shoot.

"Andie wasn't like the others". You didn't recognize your voice as you spoke. It was brittle, far away sounding, pain infused. You watched as Pippa remained speechless, eying you with her soft grey eyes.

"The others?" Her brows furrowed, "other students you mean?".

You nodded, a tear flying past your cheeks and onto your bottom lip, tasting the familiar salt on your tongue. You watched as pip followed the motion, eyes drifting down your lips.

"At first when she came round to me, I thought it was some cruel joke she was trying to play. I had heard about what she'd done to Nat De Silva. People talked. But....when she came round to my desk after French class and asked if I could tutor her I was lost for words". Pippa watched as a smirk filled your lips.

"Andie bell was kind to me. I don't know why....perhaps she saw something in me others didn't bother to see. And-and perhaps if we had gotten to be around each other more we could have been something. But she's gone now. And no one can bring her back".

"I will"

The words made your eyes find pip's. And you watched as the girl without thought reached over the table, taking your trembling fingers into her own, holding them against her own flushed fingers. Almost like she knew.

"I can't promise you Andie....I cannot simply wave my fingers and make her appear. Although I wish I could....but I can offer you peace. Justice. I can offer you a finalized solid answer to what truly happened to her. I've heard what others said about you and her. You were special to her too y/n".

At that all composure left you. Your body began to tremble and you let the soft sobs rock your body, the all to consuming feeling of grief taking over.

In an instance pip was beside you, bringing you to her chest and holding tightly. So tight you could feel the girls heartbeat, which was rapid and going a mile a minute. Battering against her rib cage.

You clung to her, after all these fives years you had wanted someone to hold you like this, to brush the tears away and say that it gets better. That time can heal wounds, but of course stuck with your father who had no notion of feelings or emotions that was not what you had learned to expect. Instead you tucked it away.

But pippa was kind. She had a sense of ease that seemed to calm your racing heart. And lull you into a sense of comfort. And perhaps, if you were being honest, she had that same energy to her. It was like having a piece of Andie with you, however small it was. Because as much as Pippa reminded you of Andie, she was almost completely 100% different. Where Andie was rough around the edges, pipa was solid, keen on the way she thought, logical. Where Andie was sporadic and lacking sympathy, pip made up for it with her soft eyes and just heart.

In the weeks that followed you found your eyes finding Pip's when you would greet her in the hall of Kilton grammar, her eyes seeming to find yours in a crowd. She was always the first to greet you, smile that pipa smile. What you were not aware of was the fact that pip had been ogling you during lunch apparently.

"What's up with Pippa Fitz Amobi always staring at you?" You blanched. Eyes wide as you eyed your best friend Seth from across the lunch table, your fresh salad you had nicked from the canteen bar forgotten.

"What do you mean? I helped her out with her end of term project a few weeks ago. She's probably just grateful or something. Not many people gave her grace over the topic" you growled out.

Seth, who was not very bright in social cues only began talking yet again. "No I mean, she's always staring at you now. She was in geography and just now when you sat down. I think she fancies you".

You had to chuckle at that, your laughter filling the lunchroom, your cheeks flushed and eyes wide, you immediately shoved Seth, "that is the most stupid comment I have ever heard!! Pippa fitz Amobi having a crush on me! Me Seth! I'm nobody. Seriously what a notion. She's probably got a few more questions to ask me."

"Well I better prepare because she's coming this way".

Your smile vanished, your eyes wide. "What!"

And like clockwork pipa was in front of your table, blue eyes scanning you. "Sorry to interrupt your lunch hour y/n, but would you mind if I asked you to have dinner with my family and I after school? I know it's sudden. I was going to ask Ravi, but I figured I hadn't properly thanked you for answering my questions"

Seth smiled from the brim of his thermos, making your nerves ramp up even more, but you stayed calm, moving your eyes to Pippa's. A small smile formed on your lips as you took in her face, all furrowed lines and nervous fingers behind her back. You half expected her to serenade you with random facts, a sign she was nervous.

"I really would love to pipa" you began, and you watched as Pippa's smile began to grow, her blue eyes alight with something you couldn't understand yet.

"That's wonderful!! My mum is making shepards pie, are you alright with that? I wouldn't want to make something that doesn't sit well with your stomach". Pippa’s nervous rambling was cute to an extent, and you only chuckled.

"I haven't had a decent shepards pie in quite while, my father isn't a real good cook." You explained, and pipa nodded, before reaching out and taking your hand in hers, your reflex was to pull your hand away, but Pippa's touch was firm, almost gentle as she softly moved your sweater from your Palms, "it's alright, I'll be gentle, no need for a scare" she spoke, directly to you, blue eyes soft as she produced a pen from her Kilton uniform, writing her home address on the back of your palm, the nib of the pen feeling cold against your warm skin.

Seth only remained the smiling idiot he was, wagging his furrowed brows as if to say, 'is that evidence enough?' You only sent him daggers.

Turning back to pip who was on the last letter of her street name, you eyed the canteen, finding little to no teens were sat paid attention to you two. You made a small noise with your throat, watching as pip's eyes flew to yours, a sea of light blue, whispering softly you spoke.

"How's your EPQ going? Have you made any progress? About Andie?" Maybe it was the way her name fell of your lips, or how desperate for answers you were. Pippa's eyes widened, and she spoke fast, "I can't speak of it here. That's partly why I invited you round to my house. I have some more questions. But these need to be answered privately."

Privately?

Pippa must have sensed your apprehension, because she was soon smiling, "nothing to be scared about y/n. If anything your answers have changed my mind about Andie. To an extent. And it will just be us tonight, Ravi is working. I noticed how you clammed up with him last time".

"I didn't clam up, it's just odd having Sal singh's brother eying me like I have some secret I'm hiding from him." You shot back, your confidence seeming to find its way out. You couldn't help but feel that raw feeling weld up in your chest, your teeth gritted out. You felt a flush take over your face as you apologized, your words escaping you. Gosh, here pip was going out of her way to invite you to a dinner, a family dinner that is, where you were probably intruding on, and you had snapped at her.

Pippa only eyed you, eyes flashing over your flared nostrils and wide set eyes,you watched as her eyes remained transfixed to your features, her blue grey eyes darkening just enough as she eyed your flushed cheeks. You would have found that odd, if it were not for your rambling, rapid apologies falling of your lips. Pip only halted your words, leaning in so close you could smell her perfume, strawberry and raspberry. Your heart raced out of its chest at the way Pip moved to lean over you, her eyes taking in your eyes and your flushed racing chest, the smile that reached her lips was so saccharine that it made your stomach erupt in butterflies. Pip spoke softly against your ear, like it was some sort of secret to be hid from others. Her words were soft, velvety against her tongue, "I like when you use your voice" she spoke, "it's cute. You look almost like a little puppy, puffing out its chest and barring its teeth. Such a sweet little creature"

From the way Pip smiled victoriously over the way your eyes followed her, almost trance like, you could practically feel Seth's eyes burning holes into you, probably resisting the urge to yell "she's obviously flirting with you!". Once your brain was cognizant enough to realize that pip had said you reminded her of a dog, a puppy at that. A puppy, the lowest of the forms of dogs. Why didn't she just say you were akin to a baby playing in the sand box? It would have irked you, if we're not for the way that pip stayed eyeing you, a shine in her grey eyes, almost like she was getting some sort of high from teasing you. It made your cheeks flush and your eyes move down to her lips, which were plastered in that smile, the one that twisted your insides in the best way.

You felt your confidence come back to you in tiny spurts, your eyebrows raising, tongue coming to peek out over eager lips, "Who knows Amobi?" You spoke, twisting your lips into a even sweeter smile, your voice taking on a different tone, "I may be a wolf in sheep's clothing, easy on the eyes, soft, sweet, so sweet that you would be blinded by what I could do".

At that you watched as pip's eyes glazed over, her usual pale complexion pink in color. "Is that so?" She began. "Well I'll just have to see about that. Half past six tonight, don't be late" she spoke, winking at you and walking off. As she walked off, You felt a sudden pang in your chest at your realization. You liked Pippa Fitz Amobi. You had ever since she had held you that day a few weeks ago. But you never acknowledged it, it felt to odd. Too shameful. You hadn't had a crush on anyone since Andie, you had stuck to your small group of friends and avoided going out, mostly you stayed in your room, far away from prying eyes and your father, who was too into himself to notice your tear stained cheeks on days you would allow your mind to drift back to Andie.

It almost felt like you betraying her, being here flirting with pip, almost like you had forgotten her for a split moment. Like your pain and anguish had been wiped clean and put back together by the girl in front of you.

Pippa watched you as she sat back with Cara, the way your eyes were downcast, and she felt a pang in her heart, you were still grieving, that part was evident. But if she could just get to know you, the real you she was sure she would be able to help ease the burden. After all Andie and you had been close, close enough that even witnesses and Andie's own friends had stated that Andie had been drawn to you. Like a moth to a flame.

At first pip had found that odd, a girl of Andie's caliber being drawn to you, but as she observed you throughout the weeks she found out two things. first, you we're different than all the other students that roamed these halls of Kilton grammar. You were kind to a fault, the sort of kind that made people smile, and their days brighter. You were a ray of sunshine on a cold dreary day. No wonder Andie had been drawn to you, after all she had been through with her dad, her family life, you had been a breathe of fresh air. A oasis away from the troubles of life. But you were also a mystery, one she couldn't wait to sink her teeth into, to know every little secret you ever had.

"Shall I send off the wedding invitations?" Cara spoke, making pip roll her eyes but steal some of the girls custard, which remained untouched on the girls plate.

"It seems Pip's EPQ is not the only thing she wants to study" seth spoke, and you only rubbed your cheeks in your hands, "oh god! She probably thinks I'm a nutter Seth” you gritted out.

Seth laughed, "after that performance?? Are you kidding me!! If I was a girl I would have fallen for you! I mean, you basically challenged her back. Pip seems like she needs that."

**********

Kilton weather was often dreary, which was why you were partly glad that you had managed to bring your jumper, the air was cold and seemed to nip at your bones. You had snuck away while your father had gone down for bed, his tell tale signs of liquor cans littering the floor and the loud snores indicating he was out for the night.

Not that he minded if you went out, he usually didn't have any notions of where you were, it was a miracle you weren't one of those teenagers who abused that power. You knew many teens who would go wild with the freedom your father gave you. But with freedom came many things, the mood swings, the often vile words that would fall of your fathers lips when he drank too much. You knew he loved you, it was apparent he did, but he never had the courage to say it, never once. You chalked it up the fact that he had never had that himself, your grandparents were the typical Victorian English parents, their idea of affection was a Pat on the back and a job well done.

Drastically different than your mother. Even after years of her being gone you still felt the ache that her face brought. Etched into your memory like a painting that would never waver. Or fade. You hoped. Your mother had been your world, she had been there to pick you up and dust you of, but like everything in life she had withered and vanished. It was a car accident that took her. The icy roads of Kilton still haunted you. So you were on your own. Till Andie of course. Then you felt less alone, less inclined to be alone. Andie wasn't all smiles, she was a girl trapped in a toxic house, where her father would eye her looks, make her feel little than she was. You had understood that to a sense, and would sit and listen as she would talk endlessly about her father.

The Amobi's household was quiet, the house sitting on the edge of town, with a quiet garden in the front that you knew Pippa’s mother had loved to garden in. It didn't surprise you that right as you made it to the door, it opened. Pippa standing in the threshold, a dinner dress on and hair pinned slightly to the side, enough that you couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked.

Vastly different from her regular Kilton uniform, although the high knee socks did wonders for her appearance.

You couldn't help but notice how formal she looked, meanwhile you were less than formal.

A blush overcame your features, eying your now less than formal dinner attire. "I didn't realize it was fancy dress" you stated, "that dress looks beautiful on you pip. Even I couldn't make it as radiant as you".

Pippa had smiled, her cheeks crimson. "Oh this? I figured you would like to see me in something more than my Kilton uniform. Please, come in. You'll catch your death out here.".

Immediately you were bombared with checkered paws and a snout that began to lick at your face, all rough tongue and eager sniffs. you giggled, moving to draw your hand through the dogs soft fur. "This must be Barney. I've been told we share a couple attributes" you laughed, and the dog only began to bark at you playfully. The moment was ruined quick enough when pip gently moved Barney, "she's not here to see you Barney".

Pip's mother, Mrs Amobi had been almost overjoyed to see you. She had reached out and had hugged you so hard your bones had nearly popped off. She had knew your mother for years and had even stated you looked just like her. It was a comfort to know.

Mr Amobi had been just as nice, smiling and telling you how lovely you looked, you were thankful that a father had noticed. Josh was next, he had quickly said hello to you and asked if you were Pippa's new friend, to which you had eyed pipa and playfully remarked that was up to her.

Dinner was pleasant. You couldn't remember sitting down to a dinner like this, where the food was made with love and care, where jokes were passed around and by the end you were filled with laughter and a full stomach. You tried not to notice pippa's eyes which were on you for almost half the dinner. It would have seem of putting to anyone else, but you noticed the way Pip's eyes would watch you as your brought trifle to your mouth, grey eyes zeroed in on the ice cream that stuck to your lips. Or the way she would make a joke, eyes seeming to smile wide when you would laugh just a little harder. While you had gotten up to help Mrs Amobi with the dishes, feeling like a horrid house guest when she had just smiled and told you to sit your pretty self down. You had been hesitant to, but it was only then that pip crossed the room, moving to whisper something in your ear. Goosebumps arose on your forearms and you only watched as she took your hand in her own, fingers slotting against your own.

"Before you leave I was wondering if you wanted to take a look at my EPQ? It's just- I found some things you might be interested in".

You had agreed, feeling your stomach coil pleasanty as pip's fingers wrapped around your own, her grip soft yet firm, fingers caressing your skin. It made your head dizzy with want, the type that would fill your head and cause you to do stupid, stupid things. Luckily as soon as you passed into the threshold of Pips door your eyes caught sight of the board adorning the girls room. And as quickly as the soft syrupy feeling in your stomach had come it was gone. Vanished just of the sight of the crime board,

you were met with the board, Pippa's writing strewn about and evidence upon evidence filling the space. It shouldn't have made you so emotional, but you couldn't help but bring your hands to your lips. After five years pipa had managed to collect more than enough evidence, something the Kilton police hadn't the courage to do.

"You-you did all this?" You spoke, eyes turning to pipa in amazement.

She humbly nodded, "well Ravi helped me. But I did most of the work. I just felt as if I should show you" pip spoke, moving closer to you, enough that her pinky bumped over yours, the soft feeling of skin against your own making your cheeks flushed.

You eyed the board, taking in the utter dedication that had gone into it, but it was what was written on the board that made your heart stop. Not from surprise, or even grief. But anger. Anger that had grown in your chest for years now.

'Andie's secret older guy?' Written in Pipa's messy yet beautiful handwriting stared back at you. You could feel the way your heart had stilled, the world was quiet. Nothing but the board and pipa by your side.

You knew Andie well enough to know that you were just a pawn in her game. Even if she had told you she was fond of you, made you feel special, made you feel like you were important, said she saw you differently than others, she still had used you. You were never as important as she said you were. Because it was evident from the board that she hadn't been as enthralled with you as it seemed. She had been secretly out with some older man.

You chucked sardonically, eyes moving to pip's ceiling. "Andie always did love her secrets didn't she?" You whispered. "I know it's silly, but Andie was all I had left after my mum died. She made me feel like I was the most important girl, she would coo at me and tell me that she thought I was beautiful. And then she'd tell me to tell her she was the most beautiful girl in the world. And I would, without hesitation. But now I'm seeing parts of her I didn't recognize, or perhaps pieces that were always there but thanks to my naivety I just brushed off. I'm- I'm angry. Obviously, that she lied to me, it hurts. The type of hurt that makes your eyes burn and your body numb. But I also know that she's still out there, and even if she hurt me I'm not giving up". The conviction in your voice was enough to cause pip's heart to stop, hoping that someday you'd talk about her like that. With stars in your eyes.

"I'm glad to hear you say that. Because I know this is awfully sudden, but- would you like to be my partner on this case?" Pip spoke, tilting her head and eying you with such soft eyes.

It was different from the flirty Pip from the canteen. Here was just pip, with her soft kind eyes, peering at you with-understanding.

" isn't Ravi your partner? I would hate to intrude-"

"I want you with me" pip has stuttered, eyes wide when she had spoken, but then her eyes calmed and she spoke again, "I want you to help me with this case. You knew Andie better than anyone. And you could be important. Theirs no reason why this case can’t have three investigators”.

You let your eyes fall down to pip's wooden floor. For five years you've wanted the chance to find out what happened to Andie, not just for yourself but her parents, and Becca. The whole Bell family, because even if they had hurt Andie, she had also hurt them in turn. When you meant family, you had no notion of adding Jason bell to the mix.

"Alright" you spoke, lips upturning into a smile.

"I'll help you". The smile on Pip's lips was reward enough.

******

The first thing you learned about Pip was that she was different from the other girls you'd met. And you had met many, being a tutor at Kilton grammar many had come to you. And they were all the same. The same way of speaking, even the same monotone spirit in their eyes.

But Pip was different. She was clever, well educated. Her brain worked faster than others. Perhaps a touch obsessive, but you would admit that you were also on the edge between obsessive.

"Andie had a burner phone" you spoke, watching as Pip's eyes burned with excitement, Ravi sitting on her chair in her room. It had been a particularly hard day, one that lead with no leads. Till you had spoken, hoping this fact would help. You had remembered seeing Andie silence the phone when you had been studying together, saying something about a Howie Bowers.

Pip's smile was wide and she immediately rushed to you, pulling you into a hug and kissing your cheek, "y/n you clever thing! We need to find that burner phone. Where could it be?" She thought, back to her usual pacing the floor.

Ravi remained standing a few feet from you, eyes refusing to meet your eyes. Ever since pip had introduced you to the team, Ravi had been distant. You knew he liked pip. Could see it in his dark brooding eyes. To him she must have been a goddess, a girl who thought his brother wasn't guilty, who was going to prove it. Might as well propose.

But lately you had seen their dynamic change. Instead of pip always looking to Ravi, her eyes were on you. You were the one she went to, when her dog had disappeared, when she had cried and cried enough tears you had been the one to wipe them away, to calm her down.

And Ravi knew that. And he hated you for it. And you couldn't help but feel like you didn't quite belong.

You brought that up to Pip during one of your sleepovers, the ones that had become usual now. Usual enough that pip even had designated a drawer that belonged to you. Ravi would complain that it wasn't fair that you got to spend the night, but pip would just smile that smile and say something to make him smile. It usually left you with a bad taste in your mouth.

"Ravi isn't fond of me is he?" You had stated. Pip had looked up from her log entries, halting the recorder that was spewing out a very angry Nat De Silva interview.

Pip's eyes had widened, her lips upturned into a questionable smile. Brows filled with concern more like.

"Where on earth did that come from?".

You had rolled your eyes, moving to lay dramatically on her bed, "you act as if you don't see the way he looks at me. Don't get me wrong he's always been cordial. But-I've seen the way he looks at me. Like he hates me. And everything always had to be a competition for him. Like let's see who can win pip first."

At that Pip's smile was evident as she watched you ramble. Taking in your pink lips, your pale complexion, the way your sleep shirt was riding up enough to reveal your braw straps. Something akin to hunger laid in her eyes.

"And I'm not that type of person" you began, rubbing your tired cheeks, eyes taking in the ceiling.

"I don't like when people have to choose sides. Ravi's making this into some stupid competition, like if your friends with me then you can't be friends with him. and that is not who I am! It's stupid and childish! and honestly I am beginning to think I should drop out, let Ravi and you finish the case. Because I am not-"

"I choose you".

The words had halted on your tongue. Lips dry, you immediately sat up, hair a mess of curls and you eyed Pip, who sat up next to you, laptop long forgotten as she eyed you.

Waiting for your response. Her grey eyes holding so much apprehension in them.

You only eyed her with confused eyes, "I don't want you to have to choose-"

"I don't care. I still choose you over him."

Pip was close now, her form leaning over yours, enough that your heart had begun to race. "I can't help it" pip began, her face now so close to your neck, pip smiled when she caught sight of the way your cheeks flushed.

And without even a warning pip was closing the distance, capturing your lips in a kiss. You only allowed your eyes to close, enjoying the way pip was laid on top of you, the weight of her body making you warm and fuzzy.

Pip kissed like her life depended on it, every brush of her lips was deliberate, very stroke of her finger against your cheeks was soft. It left your head spinning and your lips chapped.

"You taste so good" she spoke, in between kisses, her breathe ragged and eyes wild.

Her hands laid possessively over your waist, fingers gripping your skin softly yet firmly. You don't think you've ever been this turned on before, save for your few moments with Andie.

But pip, with her lips that were unforgiving and her hands that were ticking your sides. You had never thought pip Amobi, the girl who use to ask for extra homework would be this experienced.

Pip's lips moved to your chin, your jaw, your neck. And all you could do was whine in protest.

Again you couldn't help but compare Pipa to Andie, no matter how much you tried not no, to convince yourself that they were different people, you couldn't help it. When Andie had been with you, and she had that look in her eye, that familiar glean, the way her fingers would caress your hands, then up your arm. Andie had always been a hurry. She would pull you against her in the girls toilet, shushing you and then kissing you senseless, to her it was some stupid power move. She would have you say how much you were obsessed with her, and then she would leave you even more turned on, moving to wipe lipstick of her lips in the schools dodgy mirror. She never went far enough with you, and you always wondered why.

She had always been eager, that was fact, but she had never done what pip was doing. Eying you with dark blue eyes, Mapping out every detail of your features, "it's not fair for you to look so utterly ravishing" she had uttered, looking somewhat conflicted as she eyed your lips.

Her delicate fingers moved to hover over your face, swiping delicately a piece of hair that had gotten in the way. The way pip had done it, so softly, had made your arousal burn even more.

Pip sighed, fingers moving to dip bellow your chin, gripping softly, yet enough that your breathe hitched as she lazily caressed the skin bellow your chin.

"What am I going to do with you sweet girl?" she purred, eyes dark. "I could take you here right now on my bed like I've imagined so many times, or I could take you on the floor, though I doubt it would be sanitary. Though I would fancy fucking you on my door. You'd look so cute trying to stay quiet" she drawled out, laughing when your cheeks reddened, she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, feigning thinking.

Her smile had been confirmation enough that she had come to a conclusion. Her smile somehow looking like a toss between Pervy and downright Sinful.

"How about we start by removing this lovely top? Hmm?" She cooed, lips leaning in to kiss your lips firmly, leaving you breathless and your brain foggy. You only nodded into the kiss, and Pip very cleverly dodged your lips, wiping away the tiny bit of salvia that followed.

It shouldn't have been hot, you knew that. You knew if you were not being controlled by your horny mind you would have been sick, but from the way Pip had begun unbuttoning your night shirt, each button coming undone sending shivers through you. pip remained stoic, but you could see the control in her eyes shifting as the last button was taken of.

"I trust you pip...you can take it off" you whispered, your voice quiet and calm, yet you felt your body buzzing with anticipation.

It was then that your eyes opened, taking in the dark room, chest heaving as you eyes the girl next to you, watching as her chest rose and fell beside you sound asleep. Had all of that been a dream? Your cheeks flushed, the pit in her stomach opening up as you realized.

You were in love with Pipa fitz Amobi, and you couldn’t deny it any longer. You had to confess, for your sanity.

#agggtm #andie bell #andie bell x fem reader #emma myers x reader #pipa fitz amobi x fem reader #dark pip is appreciated #pipa fitz amobi #pippa fitz amobi #pippa fitz amobi x fem reader

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mediocre-shark-tales · 2 months

Text

Fated by the Stars (12)

Straykids ot8 x Reader

Warnings - Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Wounds/Injuries Traumatic Past, Violence, Swearing, and Mentions of Non-consensual Molesting.

Summary - Sang-Jun finds out you're taken will he stop pursuing you or what?

Masterlist

Finally the heat had broken, I had worried the boys when my heat lasted longer than it should have. They took me to the hospital at one point because it hadn't broken. When the doctor had learned of my past with heats, he soon understood what the problem was. "So based on all the information I am aware of, her natural heat stopped becoming natural. Basically it stopped all together as her first pack alpha forced it to stay on track with his ruts. Since she had gone so long with out the medication I believe her body finally got back into the natural flow of things. It is probably just bad timing, like her heat might have already been about to come on. However she got spiked which sped things up, but her body is not used to the medication anymore. So her heat still came like it planned but that coincided with her forced one. She should break the heat within the week, since we don't know when her natural heat started it's hard to give an exact date." With that the boys brought me back home, their emotions more calm with an expert opinion behind them.

Once it finally broke, they found me crying in my nest. All of them rushing to find out what was wrong. I shook my head when they asked if I was hurt. But instead I told them, "I feel soooo grossssss, I'm so uncomfortable, please help me wash up?" I made grabby hands at them all, waiting for someone to take my offer and help me with my needs. They all chuckled in some way as Chan and Hyunjin stepped forward. "We will give you a nice bath pup, we were about to wash up anyways." Hyunjin said while carrying me. Chan told the others to clean up the rest of the house, Minho and Felix would start dinner. He would ask me before I left the room if they could take down and wash the nest. Which I nodded to with the exception that they must re-scent their specific blanket, or fur once cleaned. They all eagerly agreed and went off to do their specific task while Chan, Hyunjin and I went to wash up together.

Ever since then we have had great day after great day. Even when they had to be gone for work, all was okay, cause we were mated for life. I could feel their emotions and they could fell mine. We were more sensitive to each other, able to find each other quicker. All was good, I finally felt really love, experiencing how an omega should be treated. It was so fantastic.

Today, I was brought to the mall by Seungmin and Changbin. They had the day off and when I asked if I could go to the mall alone they threw a fuss. We came to the agreement that they would take me and wait in the car so if they get anything bad happen then they could get to me quickly. I agreed as long as they didn't look in any of the bags when I returned to the car. I wanted to make them all something nice as a token to our completed bonding. I just loved giving them things.

Walking in the mall, I could feel myself adorning a large smile as I walked through different craft stores buying all the items I would need to complete my project. As I moved on to the next store for more supplies. I happily walked along the hallway, seeing cute couples and family's with kids walking past me. I smiled thinking about one day having a bunch of pups of my own. I wished to birth a kid for each one of my mates, making them happy to each have their own offspring.

However I soon stopped as that acidic smell entered my senses, in front of me stood both Sang-jun and Sang-Hee. I felt my blood run cold, as my body instinctively went numb. It was always better to hide your emotion than suffer the consequences of having the wrong emotion at the wrong time.

I saw them both staring at my shoulders. I had worn a pretty off the shoulder top with a pair of jean shorts. I wanted to show off all my perfectly healed mating marks. I had learned through social media that these were most like trophies in the omegan world. So I wore the perfect outfit to feel cute and show off my bond to my pack.

Yet when these two saw the marks, they were filled with overwhelming anger. Both of them stalked up to me menacingly. It's then that I could feel the anger and fear of my mates, no doubt they could feel my emotions run cold. I'm sure when my emotions had gone numb to them as well they all freaked out. This was good however, as it meant Changbin and Seungmin were running in for me. I just had to hold my ground for a bit.

"So you decided to mate to those worthless alpha's bitch?" I growled back at Sang-Hee. "Say what you want about me but don't speak filth of my pack." Sang-Jun growled at me. However I stood proud knowing my alpha and beta were coming. "It's doesn't matter how hard they hold onto you Omega. We will get you back, even if we have to slaughter that whole pack just to retrieve what is rightfully mine." Sang-Hee looked at Sang-Jun. "Ours you mean." Sang-Jun nodded. "Whatever"

A few years before my escape, Sang-hee had taken a liking to me after experiencing how I would act and submit to Sang-Jun. Thus they promised to share me. Though it was easy to tell Sang-Jun wasn't 100% happy with the outcome. But he knew that it meant two chances for a perfect alpha pup from me.

My confidence began to drop as they were able to pin me to a wall, I was stuck. Fuck. Sangjun had his had wrapped tightly around my throat. Just above the mating marks so all I could feel was pain and loss of breath. "I promise you with my life omega. I WILL get your ass back in my home. I will break every last sliver of hope you have. I will fuck you into my perfect submissive omega that you used to be, and you will give birth to our pups. You WILL be mine, one way or another. just you fucking wait bitch."

With that he let go and they both walked away, when they turned the corner never to be seen again. That's when Changbin and Seungmin finally found me. They first noticed my tears, then noticed the slowly purpling bruise around my throat. it was obviously a hand print and they knew exactly what had happened. They just didn't know who. I wiped my tears as I let myself go numb, forgetting they stood there as I walked away.

I was no longer mentally aware, I went into full autopilot. The boys tried to reach me but soon realized why my bond went radio silent. They allowed me to finish buying my things, carrying my bags for me. Soon I was back in the car, sitting behind them as Changbin drove and Seungmin tried to calm me by rubbing my leg from the front passenger seat.

When we got back home, I could hear Seungmin on the phone. It sounded like group call as multiple voices came through the other end. He talked about me, they were probably all freaking out as my bond was numb. Nothing came from me, I had regressed to the same state I had back in my old pack. Changbin followed with half the bags. We both sat them down in my small art studio, it was a small room they had emptied out and renovated for me. Once they were sat ready to be emptied, I instead walked back out of the room. Changbin following as he shut the door for me. He silently followed as I made my way back to my room. He watched from the doorway as I crawled onto my bed and laid down staring at the ceiling.

I heard him sigh as he allowed me time alone, probably hoping I would come back from the headspace on my own. Yet that is not what happened. As everyone arrived home only two hours later, they opened my bedroom door to find me sat on the bay window. There was enough space for all of us. I sat in the middle, legs tucked up against me as my head and arms rested comfortable onto of my knees. I stared off out the window on tot he beautiful forest horizon. My room had one of the best views as I could watch the sunset.

I could hear them enter the room behind me and slowly come closer. Until finally a few of them sat down on either side, all of the Betas were sat around me. The alphas stood behind me, unsure of how to help their omega.

Hyunjin pulled me into his arms, carrying me to my bed. He laid back against the headboard, leaning me against him. He was hugging me to him from behind as Jisung laid down against my front. Seungmin and Felix each took a side, hugging me together in a puddle. When that barely worked, the alphas began to join them. Each one finding a spot to drown me in the huge cuddle puddle. The first one to speak was Chan, as an idea came to his head.

"Omega is safe now, Pack is here to protect omega." Each one of them felt and saw a small subtle change in me. Almost as if I was beginning to relax into their hold. So everyone began to say different things. Some told me how good of an omega I was for them. Some told me they were here to protect me from all evil. A few explained how they would rip apart anyone that tried to hurt me again. Finally my numbness faded, and I was hit with a rocketing wave of fear, pain, and sadness. I began to cry loudly as they all cooed and tried to hold me tighter. I began to receive kisses, and other wiped my eyes. Some massaged my stiff limbs. But what stood out the most prominent to them was how horse my voice sounded, this is when they knew who ever had choked me definitely damaged my throat.

This sent the alphas into a frenzy as I was ripped from he betas by Jeongin. Changbin sandwiching me against mjeoning for behind as they all asked who had hurt me. It took a moment but I was able to calm down enough to say his name. "s-Sang-jun." It hurt to speak, and that helped me calm down more as it took precedence in my mind. Growls erupted into the room as the boys could only imagine what he must have done or said to me for this kind of reaction to happen.

Yet when they calmed down, they decided it was better to let me experience all their love tonight. The questions could be saved for tomorrow, for now I needed to be reminded of how much they loved and adored me. This was not only for myself, but also them. Most if not all had felt like they failed me, especially the two who were with me. They scolded themselves for not being fast enough with finding me. Only showing up to the aftermath of the event. They would make to make it up to you. Some how.

Chan picked me out of Jeongins arms, handing me over to Hyunjin. He knew the lead beta was best at pampering me when it came to baths and such. "Give her the most pampered and calming bath you can. Then dress her for bed and bring her down for dinner. We want her as comfortable as possible for the night." When can looked around the room he said. "Everyone needs to take a sick day tomorrow. It's time to spoil her for the day again, to remind her she is safe with us." Everyone nodded at his words. The alphas all following him to ago help clean and set the table while also cooking my favorite for dinner.

The Betas all followed with me and Hyunijin into the main bathroom. This one was big enough for almost the whole pack to bath together. But that never really happened, it was usually just a group of us together.

Together they helped me undress, they undid my hair letting it flow down. Then they too all undressed themselves, Jisung was the first one ready and he began to set up the bath. Felix grabbed all our soaps, shampoos and conditioners. Hyunjin picked me up and placed me down into the warm bath with ease.

Then everyone joined us as bubbles surrounded all of us, jisung had made me a bubble bath. They were all trying their best to bring my mood back up. Trying to make me smile fully again. This made me happier, but I don't think I would fully smile again for a bit. I was still experiencing short memories of my past.

The abuse I had taken for years upon years, along with everything I seen done to others. It was beyond devastating. I could still almost feel the pain from everything, all the mental, emotional and physical pain I had experienced.

More tears began to cascade down my face as these memories flashed through my head. Seungmin noticed me first and instantly picked me up to sit in his lap. He held my face into his neck, filling my senses with the scent of him.

This act of his began to calm me down slowly, as my body began to relax he began to kiss along my neck. He kissed specifically his mate mark, giving both of us a sense of euphoria in that single moment. Soon I felt more kiss from the other boys as they each kissed their mate mark. This some how helped me to finally fully relax, the horrid memories fading from my mind.

Now I was being filled with short memories of each mate, moments that made me feel as euphoric as possible. Seconds later Felix began to wash my hair with shampoo. While Seungmin and Jisung washed my body. After that hyunjin had washed himself and took care of my hair for the conditioner. While the others began to wash themselves.

Once all cleaned up, they helped me get out and began to dry me off. Hyunjin helped wrap my hair up in the towel. Once I was dry enough they helped me out of the room and off my my room. They grabbed their own clothes along the way.

Once in my room, I was sat on the extra fluffy grey fur laying on my bed. I was now dry save for my hair which was wrapped up in a towel still. Seungmin sat beside me, rubbing a hand over my back in comforting way while we watched our mates search my closet for clothes.

However besides the underwear, anything else they brought me I was unwilling to wear. "What would you like to wear sweetheart?" Seungmin finally asked after 5 minutes of this. "I want alphas clothes, but I also want to have your scents on them too." I whined. I needed the constant scent of my pack to keep me sane. I didn't want to risk falling into that pit of mental darkness again.

So with that Hyunjin and Felix went to snatch some clothes. When they came back I watched them spilt the clothes amongst the four of them. Hyunjin held Chan's jacket while scenting one half of it so it smelled like both of them. Felix scented Changbins shorts, Jisung had Minho's t-shirt and Seungmin had Jeongin's fluffy socks. Once the items smelled like one alpha and one beta, they helped me dress up. Finally I felt comfortable surrounded by their scents.

With that I was picked up this time by Felix as they brought me into the dining room. I could smell the delicious scent of spicy lamb skewers, with all the most perfect side dishes. I could feel my mouth water at just the mere sight of it all. Around the table stood each of my alpha's. I squirmed in Felix's hold who sat me down confused and a little worried. I quickly pecked his cheek as I went around giving each pack mate a quick kiss.

Without words I wanted them to know that I loved them, that I trusted them. I needed them to know that I didn't care they weren't there at the moment. Because they were there right now and that's all that mattered to me. They wouldn't let me get hurt again so this was okay.

I could feel them slowly relax with my actions, their emotions becoming softer more Lovey-dovey.

I quickly sat down in my normal seat, mall the alphas were quick to sit as close to me as possible. This the Betas were more than okay with after having spent the last half hour together. Immediately to my sides were Chan and Minho, while Changbin and Jeongin were next to them. Chan picked up and passed my plate to Jeongin who sat next to him. Jeongin filled my plate with a few good looking skewers. Minho grabbed my sides plate and had Changbin start putting on a few sides. Once they had filled it up Chan and Minho got to add a few more things as well. Till finally they were satisfied and placed my plates back in front of me.

This I smiled at and began to enjoy my meal, it was easy to notice all the pairs of eyes on me. I sighed in content at the taste of food as they watched me eat, they made sure to keep eating as well. I waited however until I had finished and was full before speaking.

"I guess you all want to know what happened today?" My voice was more timid than I initially intended it to be. "You don't have to say anything if you're not ready to babygirl." Chan spoke first. The others readily agreeing with him.

I took a deep breath before beginning to tell them the whole story. All the way from the beginning so they would understand everything. From the agreement with Seungmin and Changbin about my shopping spree, to the moment they found me in the mall. I stopped there to allow them a moment to take it all in before continuing.

"When I was found I had fully regressed into the instinctual mindset I had back in my old pack. Where it was better to have no emotions than the wrong one at the wrong time. I haven't experienced something like that since leaving that place, but something today just set me back into that headspace. When that happens, if it ever happens again, I never talk unless told to. It will be hard to bring me up from it especially if I regress really far. The days were I would regress way to far, I actually would remember little to nothing about that day." looking around I could angry and sad faces.

In the silence I decided to crawl into Minho's lap, burying my face into his neck as I just breathed in his scent. I felt him hug me tightly as he breathed in mine too. He was first to speak, reassuring me of everything. "We will never let that bastard of a man get to you sweetheart. No matter what it takes you will be ours. We are mated for life, nothing will tear us apart. We love you too much for us to let you feel pain like this again." I heard agreement around the table as Changbin spoke next. "Seungmin and I will see to it that you get the best of the best bodyguards anytime we go out where there is a possibility he may be." Seungmin nodded to me. Then he spoke as well. "If you would like we can also teach you self defense or get you some self defense weapons." I nodded to him saying I would think about the offer.

Soon everyone was calming down, having talked everything out and understanding what had just taken place was good for us. So with my belly full and my mood back to it usual tranquil happiness. I got up dragging the two lead alpha's along. "Movie night with pack cuddles please." I spoke loudly. With that I heard everyone get up and begin cleaning the table off. While the two I had dragged behind me just laughed to themselves.

Chan picked me up seconds later, as he and Minho pecked my cheeks. This earned them a giggle as I returned the kiss to each of them before we finally descended into the pack nest room. I would set up the nest with the freshly scented blankets, furs and even pillows. The other two were to get a movie picked out and then help me finish the nest, before the rest of the pack would join and a soft fluffy movie night full of love and cuddles began.

Masterlist

#x reader #alpha beta omega #bang chan #childhood trauma #han jisung #hwang hyunjin #kim seungmin #lee felix #lee minho #omegaverse #yang jeongin #stray kids #seo changbin

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death-himself · 4 months

Text

just finished episode 3 here are my thoughts

also i wrote this first part at the end of my review, but I'm gonna move it here to the top because it got a bit long and I feel like it's more important to state than my review

overall, i feel like the issues i have with the show are more of a me issue. i feel like I (and a lot of us book fans honestly) were hyping up the show to be one-to-one with the book when it's been said by rick and a lot of people working on the show that it was more of a new rendition rather than an exact book-to-screen adaptation

i know that when i watched the first two episodes with my friends, they didn't see any of those issues because they hadn't read the books at all, or at least not in a long time

one example, the issue everyone has with gabe's characterization is one my friend didn't pick up on, she recognized from the start that gabe was abusive and said something like "I'm scared what he'll do to sally if she doesn't get that car back to him"

those of us who live and breathe the books recognize that he's "not as abusive" or that it's a different kind of abuse in the books, so the characterization threw us all off in a way that it didn't for people who haven't read the books

so going forward, i'm probably going to keep that more in mind with the series and reviewing it. i think from a plot standpoint, it still manages to stay true to the book in the ways that really matter, and even emphasizes a lot of the key themes of the book more clearly, while still being extremely different, and I honestly think that's pretty cool

with that being said, bullet point review under the cut (reminder I wrote this before writing the above section and don't plan on changing it)

to begin with, I'm gonna be honest, I feel like they're changing a lot more than I would prefer with the plot. I'm still enjoying the series a bunch, but the differences are very striking to me

now going in chronological order with the episode, percy's reaction to the oracle was pretty funny

the whole thing of gabe being the one to tell him the prophecy looked stupid, but I feel like there was no way to translate it from the book without it looking stupid. i feel like when he's told the prophecy in the book, the creepy description is what makes it feel serious and the weight of the prophecy makes you forget how it's being told, and I don't really think that translates very well to film

also in the book the words are very clearly not words that gabe would say, but I feel like the way the lines were delivered in the episode was a bit off, like it just sounded like gabe with nothing creepy about it

percy choosing annabeth instead of annabeth pretty much forcing herself into the quest is an interesting choice that I'm not sure if I like or hate yet

it feels like they're turning percy and annabeth more into enemies-to-lovers than it actually is in the books

I love grover so fuckin much, grover's never been one of my favorite characters, but disney series-wise, he's definitely my favorite so far

i don't know why, but the little pool in the center of the poseidon cabin is my favorite thing ever, it just feels right

percy and luke's talk in his cabin is just <3

also the way luke went "it's a gift...from my dad" i just felt the WEIGHT of that, everything that it meant

also looking back on that, i love how both annabeth's hat and luke's shoes show the different ways they react to a gift from their parents. the hat is annabeth's prized possession that she doesn't want to give up, while the first time we see luke's shoes he gives them away and clearly doesn't appreciate them as a gift

i loved it since we saw it in the trailer, but thalia's tree is so fuckin cool, i love that it straight up just looks like a person standing guard

also the way they're pronouncing thalia's name is giving me life, my brother made fun of me for pronouncing it that way as a kid and i started calling her talia but to know 10 year old me was RIGHT, incredible

grover's little song had me dying, and percy using that song later at aunty em's was hilarious

ANNABETH IN THE GAS STATION, she was so adorable, that scene owns my heart now. her just grabbing every flavor of that candy was so damn precious

I'm sad we didn't get to see the bus blown up, they could've made it such a funny scene. have the trio run to the woods like "wow I'm glad we got out of there alive" then they look over at the bus and it just explodes. that could've been peak comedy there

the whole talk between alecto and Annabeth was interesting, it does make sense for them to have some sort of history considering what happened with thalia, so i think that's a good change, makes things more interesting

the way they got to aunty em's kind of annoyed me, i feel like they could have easily shown a passage of time and had them get there in the same way as the books. idk, i really liked how they ended up there in the books because they were just hungry kids that wanted burgers

also alecto being there felt a bit weird to me

when i heard they were taking a more sympathetic approach to medusa, i honestly got really nervous for how that would turn out, but i think they handled it as well as they could have. i feel like they said it in a way where the story could have gone either way; one way where medusa was poseidon's girlfriend, and another way where she was tricked and raped by him

she also goes on to both call him a monster and say that they loved each other, so again, i feel like it could still go either way with those lines, though it probably leans more towards the girlfriend perspective (even though I'm pretty sure that's the less myth-accurate perspective, but when has pjo been myth-accurate)

the way they killed medusa TERRIFIED ME, like annabeth my girl, you realize how badly that could have turned out right, having an invisible medusa

also how did that help percy in the slightest, he was still attacking something he couldn't look at so...how did that help

I'm hoping alecto being petrified isn't permanent, hades had better bring her back, i liked alecto. also isn't she important to some part of the plot in a later book? she's the only fury i remember the name of so she has to be important right?

their argument in the basement was an interesting change, i feel like to me it kind of just felt like conflict for conflict's sake. i don't think they felt super in-character in that section. their friendship dynamic feels a bit off through most of this episode honestly, but i think their dynamic's gonna be perfect going forward now that they've gotten past that conflict

percy saying the "i am impertinent" line perfectly. that whole exchange felt like it was ripped right out of the book, i loved that

i know everyone's been shitting on lin manuel miranda being in the show, but i still love the man, and that end scene was incredible

him in the elevator was so funny, and you just know he loved percy shipping medusa's head to olympus, he thought that shit was hilarious

#percy jackson #percy jackson spoilers #pjo #pjo spoilers #pjo disney+#pjo disney+ spoilers #percy jackson and the olympians #i have no idea what spoilers tag we're using someone help #really interested to see people's thoughts on medusa specifically #if i remember right rick accidentally wrote her using both conflicting stories at different parts of the series #like in tlt she was poseidon's lover while in another book she was said to have been born a gorgon

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darklydeliciousdesires · 8 months

Text

Lost & Found - Chapter Eleven.

Nice bit of smut and fluff to finish off the week, besties! Thanks to you all for reading and engaging, you are absolutely the best ever!

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten

Words - 4,004

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, Minors DNI. Recounts of kidnap, child trafficking, physical/verbal/sexual abuse.

His fingers skimmed over her shoulder, Emma enjoying the soft, tickly contact, even more so when he added a few kisses.

“This mark,” he began, fingertips tracing the outline. “This isn’t from him too, is it?” He hated to think just what infliction could have caused the dark red mark that ran about six inches down over her shoulder blade.

“Birthmark.” He felt his insides uncoil, Emma continuing. “It’s called a port wine stain. They’re more common on the face, and usually much angrier looking. Mine’s quite pretty, I’ve always thought. Mom always used to say it looked like someone did a whoops with some Merlot over my back.”

He smiled, thinking it was a cute way to describe it. “Cassie mom, or Marie mom?”

“Marie mom.” Her eyes saddened a little, biting her lip. “I know you told me that I shouldn’t, but it still hits me, the feeling of guilt over how I equate Marie to the word mom more than my actual mom. It doesn’t mean I love my birth mom any less, it’s just that...” She trailed off there, her emotions seeming to cloud her articulation of how she felt.

“Marie was the only person you had looking after you for a really long time. Like I said, I guess it’s only natural you see her more as your mom, since you had more time with her than you did with Cassie.” He knew it was something that troubled her deeply, but it was to be expected, he supposed. After all, Marie had been in her life longer than Cassie, tragic as that was.

They’d also shared a bond through deep, unabating trauma. They’d clung to one another in times of anguish, and that couldn’t be discounted as anything Emma should feel guilt over. Her bond with Marie was very, very deep.

Stroking her hair, he continued with his thoughts. “You bonded closely with someone who said in her own words that she wanted to be your mom, there’s no reason to feel guilt for that. Not under the circumstances. Fuck, Emma. You deserved someone, and I think if your mom was still alive, she’d be thankful to Marie for protecting you as much as she could.”

Nodding against the covers bunched beneath her head, she could believe what he’d suggested would be true, if her mom was still alive. “I think I began to see her even more as mom after we learned my parents had both passed, because she was all I had as far as a parental person was concerned. I needed it, to not feel so alone, as I did after I found out they’d died. I always felt this little slice of comfort that even though we were so far apart, we were still under the same sky while we were parted, and then I didn’t even have that any longer.”

What an interesting choice of words. “I used to think the exact same thing after my dad went away. I fucking hated that my mom thought I should just forget about him, all because she wanted to. Like, what the fuck is that? He was my dad, I wasn’t gonna just blink and forget he’d ever fucking been there, y’know?” His jaw tightened a little, Emma sensing the resentment there he held. “I wanted to go visit him, but nope. Not allowed. I guess as an adult I understand it a little better now, mom’s reasoning. She didn’t want me following in his footsteps.” He paused, laughing before gesturing to himself with a sweep of his hand. “And what did I go and fucking do?”

“Ibarra two-point O,” she chuckled, reaching to stroke his chest. “When you said you joined the MC because of your dad, it wasn’t just because of his influence, was it? It was to try and be close to him again, rebuild on what you’d lost while he was away, right?”

“Yeah, exactly.” He looked down, closing his eyes for a few moments. “Wasn’t long enough.”

“What happened to him?” Her question was tentative, Emma sensing from the little she knew that it was a sensitive topic for him, his father’s demise.

He explained it all, the rumbling turmoil within the club, the cavernous split that had led to Diaz shooting his father in the back of the head. Emma’s own experience with a different fraction of the criminal underworld meant that of course, she understood the layers of greed, corruption and deceit that could be harboured by those seemingly meant to be on the same side.

“Thought I’d feel better for taking out Diaz the exact same way he fucking murdered my father, and I did for a while,” he revealed, Emma turning onto her back and pulling him close, Guero resting his head just above her right breast. “I guess loss isn’t that easy, though. He got what he had coming to him, he ain’t here no longer, but neither is dad.”

Her arms tightened around him, moving a hand to weave her fingers into his hair, stroking his scalp with her nails. “I think we both have some ghosts that’ll hang around a while, don’t we?”

He looked up at her, snorting softly. “Baby, I got one. You? A whole fucking morgue full of ‘em. Seriously, how the fuck you’re not completely buried by it all, I don’t fucking know.”

“I think you finding me in the corner again last night is testament to the fact I’m still buried,” she spoke, leaning to kiss his forehead. “I’m learning how to heave the weight off of me a little at a time. That processing which began while I was in the container, finally letting it all wash over me, what had happened, I’m dealing with it all now. Opening that kind of floodgate, mother fucking Mary, it’ll take a long time before all the water stops flowing through.”

“Until it does, you got me right here to help you keep your head above water,” he pledged, lifting his head to kiss the side of her neck. “It doesn’t have to drown you any longer, even though I get that it isn’t gonna go away overnight.”

She smirked, turning onto her side. “Be nice if it could, hmm?” They were both a little heavy with the burden of what haunted them, deciding instead to sink into something much sweeter as they began to share slow, sumptuous kisses. With arms coiling around one another and hands stroking, they explored and adored one another, Guero moving from her side, placing a kiss upon her navel before...

“Mmmm.” Oh, how she would never tire of him going down on her, the sensation of a mouth between her legs completely new to her, since no man before him had ever done it. The tip of his tongue ran in languid licks from her opening to her clit, slow yet firm, seeming to hit her deeper than the soft, pink flesh they bathed.

Each lick seared through her, burning like falling stars raining beneath her skin, the focus of his tongue moving to circle and flicker upon her clit, breathy exclamations driven from her elegant throat as her body arched. The fever of it misted her spine, a glitter of pleasure flashing over her nerves, her cunt streaming against him at he ate her hungrily, the feel of her pooling against his tongue pouring golden through him, his cock twitching with the need to sink into her.

Sitting up, he kissed his way to her mouth, and the taste of herself on his tongue was sweet and sharp, moaning against his lips, feeling him guide himself to her, the hard mass of him running in sweeping glides through her folds. He made her yearn for him, fucking her slit without actually moving to penetrate, her nails sharp at his shoulders as she rolled her hips against the hard heat, moaning into their magmatic kisses.

Each ridge of his cock dragged over the silken wet of her, the push of the very tip smearing precum over her clit as he rubbed himself upon her, drawing an almost wounded cry from her throat as she shuddered. The heat of it roared through her, tingles cascading as she came, the stretch of him breaching her adding to it, his thumb dragging her clit to keep the sparks crackling.

She was breathless in the wake of it, head fuzzy, but not too much that she hadn’t seen what he’d seemingly forgotten.

“Um, Guero?”

He was somehow hoping that she might be too aroused to notice what he’d forgone. “Mmhmm?”

“Forgetting something, aren’t you?” She cast her eyes to the nightstand, raising her eyebrows, starting to laugh as he grumbled.

“Just one time, please? Come on, I fucking hate condoms.”

She shook her head. “No. I’m not even thinking about risking it, no way. Doesn’t matter how much I want a baby, it’s way too soon for us, and I have too much of my own mess to sort out before I add a small person to that.”

“Yeah, but our kid would be so fucking cute,” he jokingly protested, Emma closing her eyes and shaking her head as he began to laugh. “And maybe,” he continued, kisses peppered along her jaw, beginning to move slowly in and out of her, “maybe I just wanna know how it feels to fill you with cum, then watch it dripping out of your perfect little pussy after, too.”

“Dirty talking me into it won’t change my mind.”

Once again, he grumbled in annoyance, Emma widening her eyes. “Retreat! Out!” she giggled, pushing against his forehead with her index finger, laughing more as he moved to snap his teeth at it.

Finally, he pulled back, reaching for the drawer. “Fine.” He pulled one on quickly, steering back into her, heat encompassing him as he sank to the hilt and pulled back, her hips twitching against his. She nuzzled her nose against his, smiling as her fingers ran in trails up his sides, the tattooed flesh erupting in goose pimples.

He was heavy within her, and each rolling thrust fractured little storms beneath her skin, swirling tempests that whirled up her spine, his teeth gently nibbling her lower lip as her mouth hung agape.

“Those pretty moans, baby.” he murmured, his mouth pressing to hers, a slight rotation of his hips evoking more of them, his cock hitting her at the kind of angle that had her thighs quivering. Lifting her legs a little higher, her cunt sucked him in deeper, moans pooling and spilling into their kisses, Emma thinking she’d never seen anything as beautiful as the glinting obsidian of his aroused stare.

His fingers laced with hers, placing her hands back above her head, teeth scraping at the column of her neck as he bore down into her harder. The wet sounds of his cock sliding into her made the little mumbled words of pleasure falling from her lips lost to his ears, the lewd sound spurring him, his thrusts becoming faster as his head fogged with the amazing sensation of her clamping around him.

Her cunt poured around him, Emma feeling the thick vein that ran the length of his cock pulsing against her tender walls, pulling from his grasp, her nails sinking into his shoulders and pulling down to graze over his back. He shuddered atop her, teeth nipping her neck, his groan all smoke and salt as he rucked into her harder.

“Fuck, oh, you feel so good!” she gasped, hands touring the flexing muscles in his back, her hips driving up against his as their mouths locked together again in steamy, smouldering kisses. Little flint strikes glimmered at their point of fusion, Guero moving to kneel before her, pushing her legs back to touch her chest, his thumb dragging in a slick rub against her clit.

It streaked through her, tendrils of pleasure winding tight and creeping up her spine like vines, her cries loudening as he began to pound into her in frenzy. Each hard thrust scraped sparks that glinted down to her very marrow, his cock unrelenting until it broke over her and shone like the neon of a rainbow.

He left her utterly dizzy and fuck drunk, accepting the settling of his body back into her arms, Guero only moving to pull the condom off and knot it, casting it to the floor before lying breathless against her chest once more.

“Mother fucking Mary,” she panted, stroking his clammy back, her senses still tingling. “I really, really love sex. At last.”

He looked up at her, his smile soft. “Glad I could be the one to show you it’s meant to be different to what you knew.”

Beaming at him, she stroked his face, kissing him with clear affection. He adjusted his position, lying next to her, a thigh slotted between hers, Emma stroking his chest. “I always wondered if I’d be too damaged to enjoy it, having sex with somebody if I ever managed to get free. I knew that what he put me through wasn’t right, and that no matter how it made me feel, that it wasn’t my fault. I think that’s why – except for that one moment yesterday – I've been fine so far.

“The way I look at it, I didn’t lose my virginity to him either, because I didn’t have sex with him. Sex is consensual, and what he did to me wasn’t. In my mind, it was you I lost it to, the first man who was inside me because I wanted him to be there.”

His eyes softened as he looked down at her with a little disbelief, shaking his head as he hid his face for a second. “Stop it, that’s too fucking adorable.” He emerged after a few moments, kissing her, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I’ll take that, though. I will.”

In the grand scheme of her recovery, enjoying a sex life that was normal and healthy might’ve been small, but he was glad he could play a part in it. A very active one, it seemed. One that contained certain requests he wasn’t expecting to hear.

“Are you fucking serious?”

His barked response of surprise made her snort laugh. “Yeah. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like.”

His eyes continued to round. “I ain’t trying to discourage you, but really? With this fucking huge thing?”

“Yes. Is that going to be a problem?”

He shook his head rapidly. “Not gonna be a problem for me at all, but for real, you sure? I mean, some girls in the past have seen it and chickened out of even letting me all up in their pussy, but really, you wanna try anal?”

She turned over, straddling his hips, leaning to run her tongue in a circle around his nipple. “It sounds like you’re trying to talk me out of it. I get it, you have a really big dick, but you’re capable of being gentle, right?”

“I am.”

“And do you have lube?”

He thought for a moment, knowing he had bought it in the past for that very purpose. “I think so.”

Leaning back, she reached for the nightstand drawer, rooting around, making an ‘aha!’ face as she produced the bottle, wiggling it in her grasp. “Well, look at that? You do. Looks like my anal cherry is getting popped, doesn’t it?”

Leaning to him, her kisses were all smoky heat, his arms wrapping around her. He turned her onto her back, enjoying the stroke of her nails at the back of his neck before slipping from her grasp, burying his mouth between her legs. He began laying slow, firm, flat licks over her clit, his hands stroking paths of heat across her thighs, smiling against her folds as he watched her begin to gently writhe.

Grasping her butt, he squeezed the cheeks firmly, holding her spread, his tongue trailing down to run over her puckered muscle a few times, her arousal skyrocketing when he brought his thumb to her clit at the same time. Pleasure prickled over her skin like hail, her hands grasping her tits as she pinched her nipples, crying out as his tongue circled faster.

“Yeah, mamacita likes having that pretty little butthole licked, huh?”

She chuckled, squeaking when he turned his head to bite the round of her ass cheek. “Apparently so.”

Her pleasure flushed strongly, her gasps filling the air like the tinkle of sweet music, Guero grasping her hips and turning her as he laid on his back with her above him. Wetting his fingers in the sodden warmth of her cunt, he slowly slid one, then two up her ass, lips locking around her clit and beginning to suck.

Her mouth dropped open, the wail of abandon so loud she scarcely believed it came from her throat, pleasurable tingles raining down on her, heat sizzling to her bones. He smiled against her soaking folds, sucking on her clit gently, evoking more of those beautiful noises from her, his fingers breaching her deep.

Releasing the suck on her bud, he gently circled it with his tongue, a grunt of lust gravelling his throat. “That feel good, blue eyes?”

“Oh, my fucking god, yes, it is!”

The feeling of his fingers scissoring her while his tongue rolled, warm and relentless at her clit, had her completely set adrift from herself, moaning virtually incoherently, shimmers of anticipation roving through her body as her lean muscles twitched and corded. Her reactions indicated to him strongly that she was ready for him.

He moved out from beneath her, Emma catching his lips in a kiss of fiery eroticism as she smeared lube onto her hand and grasped his cock, working his shaft until it was rigid and slippery while he groaned at her neck before manoeuvring himself behind her.

With a gentle push, he breached her, sliding in carefully before stilling. She whimpered softly, needing a second to adjust, and he gave that to her, his heart thundering in his chest. It’d been a long time since he’d been with a woman brave enough to take him anally, and it was almost too arousing for him, being hugged in such soaking, tight constriction.

He felt her relax a fraction, inching in a little further, the moan that poured from her causing his cock to throb, her nails dragging the sheets as her back moved in a serpentine response, her skin prickled with goose pimples. All of that from one slow, steady thrust. For Emma, the stretch was painful, hissing a little as he tried to move forward again, feeling him still immediately. As soon as the pain subsided, though...

“That alright so far, baby?” It didn’t hurt to check, even though she looked to be very much enjoying it.

“Jesus fucking Christ, please don’t stop. Fuck, that’s incredible!”

That definitely confirmed it, Guero more than just a little surprised. He’d never seen a woman act quite so aroused from anal before, usually the initial response was that of extreme pain, but for her, it was anything but.

It was the kind of exquisite tightness that made his heart continue rapidly hammering in his chest, like a caged bird attempting freedom, his cock throbbing as he gripped her waist, moaning a deep, barbarous rumble. The narrow, slick heat of her consumed him as he began to quicken, still holding back a little for the sake of not wanting to hurt her.

“Harder, fuck! Please!” she cried out, her words negating his consideration for her and giving him the go ahead to begin driving into her with more force. She made the kind of noise he’d expect from a wild animal in heat, a sound that did not cease the further uncontained her was with her, his fingers leaving pink crescents at her waist, the other hand reaching forward to grip her shoulder.

For her, it was absolute heaven, being anally nailed by the most beautiful, big cock she’d ever felt, her fingers clutching the pillows, one hand slipping between her legs so she could rub her clit in time with each deeply delivered thrust into her. God, he was too good.

She felt foggy as he dragged her insides at speed, groaning incessantly, little whispers of the word fuck flittering over his lips as he felt himself twitching, adding to her pleasure in the most incandescent of manners by reaching to penetrate her bereft walls with two fingers, those slick muscles gripping him with a grateful squeeze.

He needed to do everything he could to drive her to the same undoing as his own body raced towards, not wanting to arrive without her, needing to feel the gratification of her milking his orgasm from him, twitching around him until he unloaded within her.

He chased it like a predator running down its kill, unhinged efforts and verbal grits tipping them both into the absolute divine as he shot stream after stream of silky, warm release inside her.

“Fuck,” he panted, folding at the waist, resting his head to her back as he slowly pulled out, moving to sit on his heels and watch his load begin to trickle out over her slit. He might’ve been sex drunk and a little tired, but the sight made his insides pulse with desire. “Fuck, that was so hot.”

Turning over, she shuffled near, running her tongue up his chest. “Wasn’t it, though? My butt kind of hurts a little now.” He snorted with laughter, not surprised, Emma moving her mouth to his nipple, biting down softly as her hands stroked swirls over his arms. “Worth it, though. I’m going for a shower; I need to cool the hell down. Don’t leave me waiting.”

She left him absolutely fizzing, Guero flopping down on his front, chuckling dirtily to himself. “Damn, she’s amazing.” Seeing her sexual confidence grow as rapidly as it had was thrilling enough in itself to him, how comfortable she was with him. The fact that she’d let him do something he really enjoyed but seldom got to partake in, that she had thrived upon just as much, well, he lay there a little mindless for it until realising he had a naked woman in a hot shower waiting for him.

Rinsing the conditioner from her hair, she smiled as a very gorgeous man stepped into the bathtub with her, his arms sliding around her waist as he nuzzled the side of her neck, Emma stroking the thick planes of muscle that stretched across his upper back. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the warmth of the water and the tightness of his embrace, his fingers slipping down to grasp her butt as he kissed her from her throat to her shoulder.

Suddenly, a flash of her showers back at the mansion entered her head, scrubbing herself raw, repulsed at having Rocco’s body on top of hers, smelling him upon her skin. Burying her face against Guero’s neck, she brought herself around, his scent yanking her from the memory, reminding her where she was. Long gone, was where she was.

“Thank you,” she whispered, kissing the tattoo upon the side of his neck.

“What for? Getting this beautiful ass all soapy?” he chuckled, sudsy fingers working in swirls over her flesh.

She laughed softly through her nose, moving her head to face him. “For everything. You’ve been so good to me, taken care of me, given me a home, security, everything I haven’t truly known for a really long time. You’re the best.”

He smiled in acknowledgement, kissing her forehead, the water cascading down over them as their mouths pressed together, kisses of adoration offered as their arms tightened around one another. While her body thrived upon the touch of the man that held it, she knew it’d take much longer for her head to stop returning her to the past.

At least now, though, she had what she’d so desperately craved; a future.

#guero mayans mc #guero mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc fanfiction #guero x ofc #guero smut #guero fanfiction #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fic #mayans mc season 5

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storiesbyrhi · 2 years

Text

Angel of the First Degree - Chapter 6: Monsterous

Eddie Munson x Chubby & Inexperienced!Reader 5721 words Series Masterlist

Previous Chapters: 1 - Valium; 2 - Carrie; 3: Honey; 4: Starcourt; 5: Buzzkill

Warnings: Anxiety; fatphobia including internalised; drug use; bullying; body issues; discussion of body function and fluids; period shame/stigma; disclosure of sexual assault (chapter 2); disordered eating and thoughts of food; shitty/abusive/critical parents; porn magazines; mild smut; no beta; warnings updated each chapter

Synopsis: When Eddie Munson finds you in the midst of a panic attack, it is the beginning of something. A fic featuring body and sex positivity, Eddie in a dress, soft small moments, scary big truths, and all the usual special feelings you’d expect from one of my stories.

Chapter Summary: Lightning strikes twice, which maybe you could survive, but the storm isn’t over.

Author's Note: I know you’re coming into this with a broken heart and I know I am about to break it again. I promise you I am doing it because I need to reset the break so I can heal it properly.

Eddie figured you out. Fast. You liked the small bruises his mouth left under your clothes. He learned how to make them heart-shaped; it was easier than he thought. You liked when he asked you questions. He asked a lot and didn’t require you to answer. They were intended to do one thing and one thing only: make you squirm. You liked when Eddie listed his favourite things about your body. You liked when he grinded against you.

Eddie also took note of the more interesting quirks you had. He’d squished your cheeks and made you stick your tongue out. Taking a gamble, he spat in your mouth and you honest to god moaned. You preened when he praised you, and he’d been trying different nicknames. Not the gross smutty ones that made you roll your eyes. The ones that made you blush.

All of that and neither of you had lost more than a top and a bra.

It took you a bit more practice to figure out what Eddie liked most, and to be fair – he was ecstatic to do anything. But when you curled around him, nuzzled into his neck and kissed and licked and sucked, he’d turn to putty. Eddie’s neck was beautiful, so you were always happy to indulge him. You heard the hitch in his voice whenever you complied with a command quickly.

Eddie liked to be in charge. You liked it that way too. It was easy to fall apart for him because you trusted him. It was nice and good and somehow super fucking hot to be manhandled and not have to make decisions. It felt like bouncing around in the clouds. Essentially, the exact opposite feeling from everywhere else in your life.

Mid-year exams were fast approaching. Despite doing everything within your power to prove to your parents you were on track for straight As – leaving practice tests and assessment pieces on the kitchen table, and asking teachers to write home with positive feedback – they were on you every single day.

Your room was never clean enough. You’d always forgotten to do something they never asked you to do. You hadn’t studied long enough. When did you last go for a run? Why aren’t you friends with Hayley and Chrissy anymore? What did you do, anyway?

School was no safe haven. Haley and co. were satisfied with you having no friends, but since your arrival at the Hellfire table and the happiness evident on your face, care of Eddie, you had popped back up on their radar.

They broke into your locker and covered everything in a sticky red food colouring and corn starch mix. They made oinking noises when you walked past, and tried to trip you. It was all so cliché, straight out of the Stephen King books Eddie had loaned you. If only that stopped it from hurting.

You sought solace and found it consistently in Eddie’s bedroom. It felt like the one place bad things couldn’t happen.

…

It was a Saturday, the afternoon only just breaking. Wayne was gone on a fishing trip. Homework had been done. The washing on the line. The dishes cleaned. And you were down to your underwear, Eddie matching in just his boxers.

You’d been feeling particularly sad. A bit moody, even. Eddie had vowed to make you all better, his effort valiant. His fingers dug into your thighs, your ass, anywhere he could hold you close by. He was all teeth and heat. You held his wild hair back while he kissed at the hem of your underwear.

“I, ah, I don’t-” you started. Eddie’s head shot up immediately, attentive to your every move and sound. “I don’t want to take ‘em off, but if you’re… if you’re up here with me, then you can, like, you know.”

It was maybe the most direct you’d ever been. Eddie dramatically rolled his eyes back and threw himself onto the pillow next to you. He kissed you, stopping to let you laugh at his enthusiasm, then starting again.

You felt his hand run down your back, along your butt, and around your thigh. His movements were careful but confident. Eddie wanted you to feel like he knew what he was doing. That he had you.

When his palm ran along the top of your underwear, it felt like an electric shock. You flinched, causing Eddie to quickly pull his hand away.

“Sorry!” you said, eyes wide.

“No, don’t, don’t say sorry. Are you okay? We can stop?”

“No. No. I don’t want to. I just…” You took a deep breath in. Eddie understood. You were nervous, which was normal.

“I love you,” he whispered, touching you again.

He watched your eyes close, lips part. You nodded, which he took to mean you loved him too. He knew you did.

Eddie went slowly, massaging you through the thin fabric. You could feel your entire body relaxing, sending all its energy to that one part of you. It tingled like pins and needles, but without the sting.

His fingers dipped into your underwear, traced the valley where your legs met body. You pulled your arms around Eddie’s neck, buried yourself in the curtain of his hair. Your mouth pressed open to the skin of his neck.

“Still with me? You’re doing so good,” he whispered. You hummed a short, soft sound of affirmation.

That’s when he ran a finger through your folds, felt your arms tighten around his neck. Fuck, it felt good. Eddie took his time, ghosted his fingertips over your clit just to see your reaction. You started to shake, and he was sure that he could cum just from touching you.

You were already wet, more so than Eddie expected, but he still practiced making the pace of your breathing change, bend to his will, before he dared to go deeper. When he felt your drool roll down his chest, could hear the happy whimpering, he said, “I wanna be in you, angel.” His voice was husky and kind. “Can I?”

You nodded, but he needed you to be sure. He wanted to hear you say it. “Tell me,”

“Yes. Please.”

You’d not dropped the manners, but Eddie was kind of into it. And he was very into how you felt around his finger. Soft and warm and tight and wet.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

“Can you… keep, ah, keep talking?” you asked between breaths.

Eddie nodded, moved so he could lift your leg up and let it sit around his waist. As his hand brushed over your thigh, he glanced at it, saw the red and paused, only for a second, before returning to you. The angle of your leg changed the place his finger hit, making your toes curl.

Before Eddie could decide what the right thing to do was, you had sensed the change in his energy. You put your hands on his chest and pushed away a little, so you could see his face. “What?” you asked, reading his expression as something other than happiness or lust.

“I, ah, please don’t freak out,” he said. You were confused and inching your way to panic. “Fuck. Ah, lemme just say that I’m good to keep going. If you are. That’s everything’s okay,”

“Eddie.” He frowned at the fear in your voice. You looked behind you, then around the room, searching for the cause of the interruption. “What’s wrong?” That’s when you looked down, past your belly, pushed up in a way that very suddenly seemed ugly to you where it hadn’t before, and saw Eddie’s hand. The blood. It was smeared across the top of one of your thighs too. The sharp intake of breath told Eddie you were about to cry.

“Listen-”

“No, no, no, no.” You didn’t stop babbling nos and stops when Eddie tried to pull you closer. You couldn’t think, just felt your skin sear with red hot embarrassment. Tears welled up in your eyes and started to coat your face.

“No, baby, come ‘ere. Please. It’s okay, here,” Eddie tried, but you were pushing and kicking him away. He let you go, scared to make it worse. You scrambled away from him, grabbing your t-shirt and bolting to the bathroom, locking yourself in.

Eddie sat up, pulled his legs to his chest and buried his face in the darkness the arch of his body created. He was so desperately sad for you. He needed a second to stop himself from screaming. You had been through so fucking much, and it felt like immeasurable cruelty to have the moment eclipsed by trauma. He felt sick but pushed it back into himself. Eddie pulled on some sweatpants, washed his hands in the kitchen sink, and went to the bathroom door. He sat on the floor in front of it and knocked.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

You were sitting on the toilet, sobbing. Grabbing the nearest washcloth, no regard for who had used it for what, you balled it up and bit down hard on it.

Eddie didn’t know what to do, so he leaned his head against the door and settled in. He’d wait forever if that’s how long you needed. “I love you.”

Slowly, your sobbing calmed down to sniffles and salty tears. Wiping as much blood away as you could using wet toilet paper, you assessed your underwear. It was splotched red, unsalvageable. You wrapped toilet paper around the crotch thick enough that you could get home. That was your goal. Bury yourself in your bed and never see the light of day again.

After fourteen minutes of sitting on the bathroom floor, you stood and washed your face with cold water. You hated what the mirror showed, hardly able to look at it all.

“Eddie?”

“Angel!” he almost yelled, standing up when he heard you close to the door.

“Can you get my pants?”

He’d heard your voice small before. Crushed and hurting. This was a new level of sadness. He chewed the inside of his cheek as he retrieved your jeans.

“Here,” he said, trying to see in as you opened the door enough just to snatch the pants from him.

You braced yourself for impact after dressing. As soon as you stepped out into the hallway, Eddie had you in a smothering hug.

“What do you need?”

“I wanna go home,” you told him.

He let you go only to take hold of your face, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks gently. Eddie stared at you, watched as you averted your gaze. Home was with him. It was meant to be with him. He shook his head and said your name.

“You don’t have to go. Stay with me. It’s okay. Just… you don’t have to go. Please.”

You felt dizzy and lost and ashamed and gross.

Eddie hugged you again. “I get it. No. I mean. I don’t get it. But… I get you. I know you. You don’t wanna go home to them. You want to stay here. You want me to look after you. Yeah? Let me look after you?”

Crying again, at what you didn’t know, Eddie held you, rocking side to side, kissing the top of your head.

“Don’t go,” he whispered. “We’re okay. You’re okay. Don’t go.” He sounded desperate. When you nodded into him, he breathed in deeply, exhaling and closing his eyes. “I got you.”

Only a minute had passed, but it felt like an hour to both of you. Eddie was racking his brain for his next move, wishing he had lived with a person that got their period so he’d know what to do. All he had was movies and books.

The monstrous feminine. The body horror of it all.

“Ah, ‘kay, so,” Eddie said, letting you step away from him. You rolled your shoulders back and rubbed at your eyes. “Let’s get out of here for a bit? Go get some… supplies. Buy all the blueberries and Reece’s Pieces money can buy. Then we can come back and do… whatever you want. Whatever you need.”

The thought of being in public filled you with a unique type of dread, but you needed pads and probably some ibuprofen. You nodded, and walked back into the bathroom to check your reflection. Eddie leaned against the doorframe, hurting as he watched you hurt.

You pushed your hair away from your face and hated it. Brought it around your cheeks and hated it. You hated it all.

“Here,” Eddie said, disappearing into his room, quickly returning with a hoodie you’d never seen him wear. “I won this in a Fangoria competition. My vest doesn’t fit over it, so I don’t ever wear it.”

It was black and had the Fangoria logo across it. It was impossibly big, even on you. It went all the way down to your knees and your arms hardly filled half the allocated space. The hood hid your hair and if you had wanted it to, your entire head.

Eddie snorted. “You look tiny.”

You said nothing, just let him lead you out to the van and drive to the closest grocery store. The cramps were rolling in, too late to serve as a warning but in time to be a reminder. By the time you walked into the store, you were back on the verge of tears.

Eddie grabbed a shopping cart, cocking his head towards it. “Get in,”

“What?”

“I’ll push you around.”

Eddie was lovely, but not always practical. Walking felt like too much movement, like blood was gonna pour out of you, so climbing into a cart, a leg each side while you hiked yourself into it – no thanks.

“Here,” he said, grabbing you from behind and leaning backwards. You squeaked, kicked up into the air, then were suddenly in the cart. “Sit.” You did. “And, no. You weren’t too heavy.”

In the cart you could curl up and put the huge hoodie all the way over you.

“Alright. Business first,” Eddie announced, heading to the Medicine and Personal Items aisle. He stopped in front of the tiny selection of pads and tampons. A few options, hidden on the lowest shelf. “This one?” he asked, pointing to the first. You shook your head. “This one?” He kept going until you nodded.

“And those,” you whispered, pointing to the night pads.

“Does it change at night?” Eddie asked, handing you the packets.

It was funny enough to laugh, but your mood wouldn’t let you. “No. These are just longer and stuff. ‘Cause you move around in your sleep,”

“Makes sense,”

“Anything else?”

Pain killers and a new hot water bottle, because Eddie wasn’t sure if there was one at home. Promised blueberries. Pudding Pies. Nerds. Pizza Rolls. Dr Pepper. Peanut Butter Cups. “Keep the change,” to the check-out girl, and race car noises as Eddie pushed the cart across the parking lot too fast. You were scared he’d crash, but you laughed and squealed anyway. Back in the van, you popped some ibuprofen and downed it with some Yoo-hoo.

Back in the trailer, after sticking a pad to your underwear, you changed into your pajama pants and kept the hoodie on. The novel feeling of swimming in an article of clothing was good. While you did that, Eddie moved the coffee table in the lounge room space and set up a picnic. He pulled all the blankets off his bed and out of the cupboard.

When you walked into the room, Eddie looked up at you and smiled. “I made the hot water bottle. Come ‘ere.” You settled between his legs, back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your neck.

“Okay?” he asked softly. You nodded. “What are the odds, huh?”

“Cursed,” you mumbled.

“I mean, it can’t possibly happen a third time,”

“I bet it does. That’s why it’s not fair that other girls get regular periods. They can track it and stuff. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,”

“Look, I’m not an expert or anythin’, but I reckon you just think all the other girls are… regular, or normal, or whatever. But it’s just ‘cause the girls like you don’t go around talking about it. You’re all too embarrassed. Which is dumb.”

You made a small, unhappy 'hmmf' sound.

“Not saying you’re dumb!” Eddie rushed to clarify. “Just the whole-” He waved his hands around you. “Nobody talking about shit thing. It’s not just chicks that do it.”

That got you curious; you turned on the spot to look at Eddie. “What do you mean?”

There was a slight tinge of pink shimmering onto the tops of Eddie’s cheeks. “Uh… Alright… So… When I started to get, uh… um, wet dreams. Like, before I was… purposefully… doing… that. I was just a kid, so I thought I was pissing myself in my sleep and that there was something very fucking wrong with my piss.”

You held in a laugh. Eddie narrowed his eyes at you.

“Oh, that’s funny? I was horrified. I thought I was like, dying. Sticky white cancer cells coming out of me.”

Too late to catch it, you snorted with laughter. “You did not,”

“I did! I didn’t tell anyone. You can imagine my relief the first time I jacked off and jizzed all over a double-page spread in Heavy Metal.”

Still laughing, you covered your face in second-hand embarrassment. “Heavy Metal? Like, to a cartoon?”

“Hey! Those ill-us-tra-tions are A. R. T., angel,” Eddie defended himself, smiling at how he was able to pull you back into a happy state. “I swore to myself the next time my body went rogue, I’d talk about it. save myself the, you know… Panic,”

“What was the next time?”

Puberty kind of snowballed for Eddie. It hit early and threw a deluge of biological and psychological changes at him. “I was very freaked out at how much hair I was growing. Made Wayne look at my junk in case I was, I don’t know, turning into a fucking werewolf,”

“A werewolf that turned starting from their…”

“Cock, yeah,” Eddie finished for you. If the stories helped you to feel normal, he’d exaggerate every embarrassing thing he’d ever done. “What else? Um… Oh! Jesus. Yeah, okay, so they told us we’d all start to get pimples and shit, you know? Normal teenage stuff. But I wasn’t getting ‘em on my face, and I asked if that was normal, so everyone called me Buttface for months,”

“Noooo. That’s mean,” you whispered, sad for pre-teen Eddie.

“I can handle it. I was more pissed at the actual butt pimples. Hurt like a bitch. Glad I grew out of that. Still have the acne though.” He was referring to the breakouts along his shoulder blades and back. Eddie let you pop the blackheads when they got bad.

“I like it,” you said.

“My acne?”

“Yeah. You’re… like, stupidly perfect in my head. So anything that makes you more… human… I love. I don’t know how to explain it,”

“No, I get it. It’s just… interesting… A double standard actually,” Eddie said, his shit-stirring voice at play.

“Why?”

“How come you’re allowed to love my weird body stuff, but I can’t love yours.”

Oh, shit.

Like a well-trained therapist, he’d caught you in an inconsistent thought pattern and forced you to face it. All you could do was pout, wiggle in his arms, and kind of shrug. Eddie laughed.

“I’m just saying… when you’re ready to talk about what happened, I have some actual weird shit to bring to the table.”

Almost everything Eddie brought to the table was weird. What could, therefore, be genuinely weird by his standards? Your curiosity outweighed your embarrassment. “Can you just tell me now?”

Eddie smiled. “I…” He stretched out the one little letter for a couple of syllables. “Might have… liked… it,”

“It?”

“The… blood? Not the part where you were upset or hurting. Not that. At all! Just, like. I don’t know. Nevermind. It’s weird. I’m ah… A freak.” He chuckled nervously, a tinge of shame that you had never really heard from him before.

Trying to wrap your head around what he meant, you let your mind feed you images. You had no way of knowing if they were what Eddie was thinking of too. It didn’t disgust you though, not like Eddie thought it might. Mostly, you felt neutral.

You were still cuddled into Eddie’s chest; he couldn’t see your face properly. He was ready to backpedal, laugh it off at a joke, when he realised he couldn’t. You’d think it was at your expense.

The images had slowed, your mind offering a different train of thought. Eddie was so into you that he wanted every part of you. The part of you that had caused so much pain and rejection and sadness, he liked.

You shuffled forward, out of Eddie’s grasp, so you could turn and sit, facing him. He was running his rings along his mouth nervously, back and forth, back and forth.

“Do you promise you’re not saying that to make me feel better?”

Eddie barked out an anxious laugh. “Not the most direct way to do that…”

“Guess not,” you agreed.

“Wait… Do you? Feel better? You’re not, like, freaked out?”

No.

“No. I’m… tired. And, uh, like, my head feels all muddled up. But… Not freaked out,” you told him. The stress melted from his face. “And, it’s kind of cool…”

“Cool?”

“Yeah, ‘cause… That’s like… what they write in romance novels. Not, like, period... blood stuff. But that someone could love you so much that nothing else matters. Nothing gets in the way.”

Eddie had tried to work out why he was into the idea of touching you while you were on your period. Once he got over the initial don’t be a freak negative thoughts, he wondered if it was the horror movie heavy metal blood is cool imagery. He wondered if he wanted to touch you while you were especially vulnerable, obsessed with the idea you trusted him so much. You’d given him a third possibility. Maybe it wasn’t a weird thing or a kink thing at all. Maybe he loved you so much that…

“Nothing gets in the way,” he mused.

Realistically, it was a combination.

You and Eddie settled into your junk food picnic. The sugar helped, and you were too tired to maintain any of your usual neat and tidy portion controlled fucked up food habits. You ate what you wanted to. You let Eddie massage your lower back and kiss your neck. You watched your comfort films and fell asleep on the living room floor, holding Eddie’s hand and on the brink of exploring a brave new world.

…

Shouting.

Shouting?

Sitting up, the sleep left you quickly, recognising the voice. Your father was screaming your name, banging on the trailer door.

“Fuck!” you yelled, scrambling to your feet when you realised it was morning. Before you could move, Eddie was at your side, his hair a chaos of a bird’s nest on his head. He was squinting through the bright light coming in the window. “No, no, no. Eddie. We fell asleep!”

“It’s okay. You needed rest-”

“What? You let me sleep the night?!” you yelled at him.

Eddie looked hurt. He shook his head. “No. Of course not. I passed out too. Angel, I’d never let you get in trouble.”

Instantly, you felt bad for accusing him, but you were terrified. You bolted to his room and grabbed your bag, shoes only half on as you went down the steps and out into the trailer park.

Your father was in a one-sided shouting match, Wayne not buying in.

“Mate, you need to calm down,” he was saying, which you knew would only make your father angrier.

“I’m sorry! It was an accident!” you said, trying to put yourself between the two men. Eddie was right behind you though, taking your wrist and pulling you away from them.

“We raised you better than this,” your father spat. “And what do we get for it? An ungrateful daughter. A cheap slut,”

“Woah. That’s not how we talk to women here. You gotta leave or I’ll call the cops,”

“No, you won’t. I bet you’ve got enough drugs in that shitty tin shed to put you both away for life, huh? Yeah? Go ahead.”

That’s when you realised your mother was there. You walked around to the other side of the idling car where she was unloading big garbage bags.

“Mum?”

She looked at you. There was a sadness in her expression. Disappointment.

“Mrs Hoffman called us. She saw you yesterday. Said you were running wild in town, buying… condoms…”

“What? No. I… I got my period. We were getting pads. We didn’t… I didn’t… Mum… Please?”

Eddie still had you by the wrist, but let you go so you could try to hug your mother. She pushed you away, dropped the last bag on the ground, its contents spilling out onto the dirt.

“You need to learn,” she said then got into the car, pushing you away again. She stared straight ahead while you pounded on the window, crying for her.

Your father had watched the exchange, and when you looked over the roof of the car at him, there was no regret in his eyes. “Don’t come home. You’re not welcome.”

He got into the driver's seat and began to reverse. Eddie had to hold you close to him to stop you from running after them. He clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth as you yelled at him to let you go.

“Please, please, please,” you begged after your parents. When they were out of sight, you went entirely limp, a sobbing mess. Just a child.

“Get her inside, Ed. I’ll get this,” Wayne said quietly.

Wayne picked up your scattered belongings, dusting things off and gently putting them in the bags. He brought them all inside, put them carefully on the living room floor.

He had arrived home late Saturday night to the scene of you and Eddie sound asleep in your picnic nest. Although he wondered how you had swung permission to stay over, it was a fleeting thought. He showered and took Eddie’s bed, not minding the swap.

He had woke early, sat on the porch couch having a coffee and cigarette. When the Ford Escort pulled up, it didn’t take him long to put two and two together. Then, your father was yelling, asking, “Where is she?!”

As he stood in his kitchen, Wayne Munson glanced over at your stuff, then went searching for that special tea you’d brought him. He’d follow the instructions on the pack, tried not to burn the tea leaves or over brew it.

Eddie had milk and two sugars. You had milk and one.

Wayne knocked on Eddie’s door, using one of the mugs in place of his own knuckles. The door pushed open, not having been closed when Eddie dragged you inside. Wayne put the mugs on his nephew’s bedside table silently, then left the room, closing the door behind him.

On Eddie’s bed, you were curled up facing the wall, your boyfriend holding you tightly as you sobbed. You were trying to talk between the cries, getting out sentence fragments like, “I didn’t do anything,” and “I try to be good,” and “How come everything gets ruined?”

Eddie wanted to burn their house down. He wanted to key their car and stab the tires. He wanted to ruin them.

When you started to rock, self-sooth, Eddie gave you just enough room to do it. He wouldn't let go of you. Not then. Not ever again. He went to speak, but there were no words. Eddie knew what it was like to be let down and hurt by parents. He knew the abject despair of being rejected and unloved by the few people who should care for you unconditionally. Eddie knew there was nothing to help the wound until it stopped bleeding on its own.

As your sobbing turns to sniffles, a transition you and he were both well acquainted with, Eddie hummed, his lips pressed to the back of your neck. He felt you lean into him, so he started to sing, his voice barely there but there enough.

Everything hurts and nothing is good. There is no happy ending, you decided. Everything is broken and that’s what you deserved. Still, even stuck in the self-hate quicksand, you let Eddie love you. It seemed like a small thing, but it wasn't. It was an act of trust. An act of love. It was a defiant act of hope, and that wasn't lost on Eddie.

You let him sing to you until you were somewhere between awake and asleep, teetering on the cusp of consciousness. The mugs of tea so carefully brewed by Wayne went cold, but that was okay.

There was relief, even if it went unacknowledged. It was right at the front of Eddie’s thoughts. No more abuse. It was somewhere in the back of your mind, swimming in the depths that you won’t go to. Not yet. No more abuse.

…

You slept all through Sunday morning, right until mid-afternoon. At first, Eddie had planned on staying by your side. He tried to sleep, but couldn’t. He lasted just over an hour before he couldn’t stay still any longer.

“Hey,” Wayne greeted, looking up from the couch. He looked weirdly small between all the garbage bags.

“So-”

“Don’t need to ask, Ed. This has been her home for a while. Course she’s welcome. Don’t know how you’re going to fit all this in your room though,”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed, sitting at the small kitchen table pushed against the wall. “Fuck.” He ran his hands over his face.

“How is she?”

“Asleep. I don’t know… Yesterday was… already a rough day. Now this. She’s tired… I, ah, yeah, I don’t know how she’s gonna feel,”

“Like shit, I imagine,” Wayne offered. Trailer Park Wisdom.

“Yeah. At least they can’t hurt her anymore,”

“Silver linings,”

“Silver linings,” Eddie repeated.

“I had a look for the other spare key but god knows where it ended up. I’ll get another one cut tomorrow.” Eddie was touched by his uncle’s thoughtfulness. He shouldn’t have been that surprised; Wayne did take him in, after all. “Now you’re up, I’m gonna head out. We’re gonna need… more than beer and pizza rolls if we’re gonna look after her properly,”

“Shit, yeah. Here,” Eddie said, moving to one of the cupboards in the kitchen, retrieving a tin he kept his saved cash in.

“I don’t want your money, Ed,”

“Yeah, yeah. Take it, old man,”

“Old man? Fuck. I’ll take the cash just for that.”

With Wayne gone and you asleep, Eddie cleaned up. He made room in the hallway cupboards, tip toed around, moving some of his junk into it so you could have most of the storage in his room. That’s what he was doing when you rolled over in bed, waking up and looking around.

Eddie was sitting on the bedroom floor, looking through boxes of shit he hadn’t touched since he was thirteen. As you crawled over to the edge of the bed, he looked up at you.

“Hey. Hi.” Eddie was fast on his knees, resting his head on the mattress, rubbing his nose against yours.

“Hi,”

“Should I ask how you feel?” You shook your head. “Should I tell you that I am madly in love with you?” You nodded. “I’m maaaadly in love with you. Lovesick. I’d just drop dead without ya.”

Your smile. Eddie would kill to keep it on your pretty face.

“What are you doing?” you asked, looking around the pulled apart room.

“I am making space for the love of my life. Turns out I own a lot of crap,”

“Eddie! Don’t throw your stuff away!” You were standing up and looking around frantically.

Eddie laughed, slowly getting up too. “I’m not, don’t worry. When you grow up dirt poor, you don’t throw anything out. You never know what’s going to come in handy. I’m just… organising… Using the space better,”

“Oh,”

“Yeah. I was thinking, maybe, we play hooky tomorrow. Build ourselves a little home here?”

God, he was so kind. You nodded and stepped closer to wrap your arms around him. When you giggled a little, Eddie smooshed your face between his palms.

“What?”

“It’s just… I don’t know how metal it is to play house,”

“Is that what we’re doing? Playing mummy and daddy,” he sassed back, easily taking the upper hand. You smiled, bit your lip. “Since that’s the game, I’ve got something for you… I thought I lost this, but you know, spring cleaning is good for that.”

Eddie pulled a ring from his pocket. It was a silver band that held a small red stone, nothing like his other jewellery.

“Don’t rat me out to the pigs, but I stole this when I was nine,”

“Jesus. Is this like, real?”

“I guess? I was gonna pawn it but it was so… fancy… I just kept it. Lost it a couple years ago,”

“Where was it?”

“Pocket of a jacket I used to plug a hole in the floor,” he said with a shrug.

“Eddie, I can’t take this,”

“Why? Of course you can. S’not like it fits me. Besides, you said it, we’re mummy and daddy now,”

“You can’t keep saying that,” you told him with a laugh, taking the ring from him and finding a finger that it would fit on.

“See. It’s perfect,” he said. “And, ah, I am very secure in my metal status, thank you, but really, you’re kind of showing me up in that department,”

“What do you mean?”

Eddie kissed the ring on your hand and then pulled you into a hug. “You’re very fucking hardcore, angel. You’ve spent a lifetime living with… Shelob and Bolg. Survived Azog.” The Defiler. “Battled a legion of bloodthirsty cheerleaders. All while getting good grades and being the hottest girl I have ever seen.”

You smiled into his chest. “I love you,”

“I love you too, angel. You’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay.”

Next Chapter: 7 Prizes

Fic Taglist: @ajeff855 @b-barnes04 @eddie-munson-is-a-sweetheart @nerd-squad-headquarters @word-wytch @harrys-tittie @munsonsmel0dy @sidthedollface2 @eddiethesexy @bardicfrustration @orpheusredux

All My Eddie x Reader Content Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @munsonlives @sweetpeapod @depressooexxpressoo @thorfemmes @hawkins-high @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob - I don't know why I can't tag you @mymoonisalways-in-scorpio @averagemisfit03

#Mine #Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson Fanfic #Eddie Munson Reader Insert #Eddie Munson x Reader #Eddie Munson x You #Eddie Munson/Reader #Eddie Munson/You

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asgardianangel · 2 years

Text

Be with me instead-One-shot/request

Hello!! I would like to request a Saul/Reader with Saul being obsessed with Reader who was a client once but she is back to ask him for help because of her Bf so Saul decides to help but manipulates her to leave the bf and end with him

Warnings: Obsessive! Saul Goodman, delusional, age gap, manipulation, bad language, mentions of abuse and drugs, drugging, creepy behaviour, implied smut

Be with me instead

Pulling up in the familiar parking lot you let out a sigh drumming your fingers against the steering wheel thinking about your boyfriend Evan.

Why did he have to be there? You thought to yourself as you gazed at the name of your old lawyer printed in bold on the window of the building.

Saul was the very best.

You smiled to yourself thinking of how the worst time of your life turned to the best because of him. Saul was a friend and protector of your very being and you promised him to stay out of trouble since the incident that occurred two years ago. You were so stupid.

Pushing the door open the bell chimed the hustle and bustle of clients awaiting Saul greeted you. Children cried and ran around the room franticly as all sorts of unusual characters stared at you. You felt out of place as some sort of American national anthem played.

His sectary Francisca frowned looking up from her paperwork you let out a fake cough and her eyes lighten up upon seeing you again.

“Y/n?” You smiled with a nod. She got up from her desk and made her way to you with a hug.

“Hey Francisa. How you been?” You asked. She looked around breaking the hug.

“Oh, you know the usual. Does Saul know you are here?” She asked as you finally found a place to sit. You had his work number as well as personal but Evan’s arrest make you panic and were so quick to visit rather than to call.

“I should have called it’s just- there's been a lot of stress” You explained poorly over the noise of clients.

Then a door opened and you heard his voice “Don’t worry I’ll help your nephew Mrs Lee” Saul said to an older client.

You stood up and his eyes met yours. It looked like he was having a moment to realise your presence. I should have called you thought. His lips curved into a smile as he straightens his tie.

“Y/n Y/L/N as I live and breathe” Saul announced making you laugh nervously. He then turns to his next client “I’ll be with you in just a second I got to handle a personal matter” the man huffs at his words then Saul gestures you inside his office.

The door closes behind you “You in trouble again sweetheart?” Saul asked as you glance around the office you thought you would never set foot in again. “No, I'm here for my boyfriend- he's in custody for dealing but he promised me he wasn’t involved” Saul’s expression was unreadable as he clicked his pen.

“Boyfriend?” He asked smiling awkwardly tilting his head. You nod “Yeah Evan Rodgers we been together coming close to two months now”

“Ah Rodgers he sounds familiar. I’m happy for you- well not in this case if he’s a drug dealer but happy you are staying out of trouble” Saul laughs nervously and you smile looking down at your nails that you have been biting stressfully.

“Maybe we can meet in the El Camino diner in I’ll say an hour on my lunch break. You should have called Sweetheart” Saul sighed standing up to open the door for you before you could walk out, he wrapped his arms around you making you tense in surprise.

“I missed you”

Sitting at the table in diner twiddling your thumbs as the waitress poured you some coffee. You mumbled a thanks while checking the clock. Saul was right on time as he spoked to client through his earpiece setting down his briefcase on the table smiling at you.

He was quick to end the call and order a coffee “Soo- this boyfriend of yours what exactly did he get into to worry that pretty head of yours?”

You explained the best you could from Evan’s exact story how he and a few friends went out late to deal in the infamous ‘blue stuff’ but Evan promised you he wasn’t involved. His ‘friend’ Dave (who you never met before) wanted to be dropped off at a known rough area. It took you a while to remember where it was. Just the number of the apartment 11124 flashed in your mind. Then cops showed up from nowhere and busted Evan while this Dave guy was away doing the deal. A night's peacefulness got disturbed by one phone call.

Saul wrote the whole thing down in his file as you took a sip of coffee. “Hm DEA got to him” He looked at you and saw the tears brimming in your eyes “Sweetheart don’t worry I got this I would do anything for you” His blue eyes gazed at you his hand rest upon yours. “Hey at least he’s not a public masturbator like my last client” Saul always humoured you during your worst times putting that smile back on your face.

You spent some time with him talking about other things just to keep your mind off your boyfriend sitting in a cell. Saul made you promise him to get some beauty sleep.

Night time came by and you tossed and turned then it felt hopeless to get asleep. Then you decided to call Saul and luckily, he answered.

“Sorry for calling you over so late I just need to talk to someone face to face” You apologised seeing him inside your apartment.

“Oh, it's fine I wasn’t getting sleep either and how can I ever say no to you anyway” Saul said looking around your small apartment “Cute pyjamas” he said and couldn’t help but blush a little looking at the mickey mouse logo. You weren’t used to seeing him in anything other than his colourful suits as he stood wearing a white shirt and black long shorts "May I use your bathroom?” you nod “It’s down the hall”

You started flicking through channels as you waited for Saul feeling a sense of blue as Evan’s scent surrounded you. You missed him so much. You settled on some Alfred Hitchcock movie that played. “Oooh Suspicion” You heard his voice as he entered the living room “Yeah, I haven’t seen it in a while. Evan doesn’t really like old movies” You mused.

“Bummer.” Saul said “Don’t take this the wrong way what do you see in the guy? I mean he didn’t strike me as your type when I spoke to him today” You raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you think my type is?” You asked playfully

“Well, I think for starters you would go for a guy who has a better taste in movies and friends. And not be stupid enough to get arrested with the prettiest girl is waiting for him at home” Saul explained in a rather flirtiest manner and you brushed it with giggle.

“Evan is just like me in the sense that we did things we regret now ever since well I got caught selling weed and I'm grateful for you getting me off of that penalty I was stupid” You lightly scolded yourself thinking back. It was one of the scariest moments of your life and there was Saul bursting into the room with his defence of coercion

‘A young woman with the whole world ahead of her pushed in the devil’s lettuce by not very good friends’ That sentence always will stick out to you. You still didn’t know how to thank him.

“Oh, I forgot to offer you a drink” You sat up feeling like a rude host.

“You watch the movie I’ll make the drinks-how about some warm milk that will make you sleep” Saul places his hand on your thigh long enough for you to notice how odd it felt.

“What am I? Five?” You asked with a grin Saul looks you up and down “with those pyjamas yeah” he lets go with a chuckle “Do you need help finding the kitchen?” You tease knowing he’s already past it going to the bathroom “Think I'm good” He responds.

It was hard to admit to yourself but Saul gave you enough attention then Evan has done in weeks he was always going out with his friends and leaving you alone and worried. It started to make you feel suspicious his involvement with this Dave guy.

‘It’s none of your business what I do Y/n’ he would say and slam the front door making you jump. He was certainly growing to out of the man you met with verbal abuse here and there but love is blind and you forgave so easily.

Saul soon came back with drinks “Hope you don’t mind I got one of your boyfriend’s beers” he said handing you the glass of milk. “He won’t mind cheers” you say and clink his bottle with a laugh.

Minutes after you felt yourself become drowsy as the tv screen slowly develop into a blur. Your head fell on top of Saul’s shoulder as his cologne indulged your senses.

You were out

Not feeling fingers running through your hair and gentle whispers in your ear. Saul felt you needed guidance in this cruel world as he slipped a sleeping pill. He wanted to calm you and give some affection while you rested. The whole years was agonising for him burying himself in work and the company of sex workers. He tried the best he could with contact but you showed little interest in him. It was when you needed his legal help for your asshole boyfriend. But he wasn’t angry at you he knew you were under Evan’s spell. His fist clenches as he strokes your hair thinking about him. Evan didn’t deserve you.

Saul must admit he was impressed on how the guy hid all sorts of dirty little secrets away from you. Drug charges, assault here and there even on an ex-girlfriend. Seeing evidence pictures he envisioned you in her place bruises marked your pretty innocent face and it pissed him off. Your precious Evan was a piece of shit there was no doubt about that no wonder his name was familiar.

After some time, Saul decided to pick your sleeping form up and carry you to your bedroom he admired you wrapped up in a cosy blanket.

Then he left locking the door behind him with his special key. Satisfied upon spending time with you

The court date finally arrived in a blink of an eye and Saul held your hand the entire time which was oddly comforting to you. Sitting down at the back of the court nerves played Saul gave you a reassuring look as he took his place in front of the Judge. Evan soon entered the clinking of cuffs alerted you and he sends you a smile.

The trial was going steady so far and the DEA was shooting their shots they were desperate to seek answers about the ‘blue stuff’ beforehand. But Evan kept his mouth shut.

Saul proved Evan to be a victim of circumstance or so he thought by almost the end they brought out new evidence his messages exchanged with his friend Dave indicating it was his idea to do the deal. You were shocked even more so when they brought up his long record of drug possession and trafficking in the past. Oh, how it was kept from you.

Saul lost the case and you were left confused as the judge read out his sentencing. Truth be told it was over a decade and the tears gleamed in your eyes.

You couldn't face Evan who pleading innocence kicking and screaming as he was being taken away

Saul manged to catch up with you as you rushed out of court crying your heart out. “Shh sweetheart it will be okay you don’t need him”

You looked up at him as he wrapped his arms around you wiping your face “You don’t understand Saul, I love him so much” You cried on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through your hair shushing you.

“It’s not just the drugs he was charged with in the past” Saul said wiping your tears.

You were confused “what do you mean?” You ask

Saul clicked open his briefcase to retrieve a file with Evan’s name on “this is his criminal record” he stated showing you a list

‘Domestic violence and assault’ stuck out to you and you furrow your brow

“These are some evidence photos taken on a few occasions by his ex-girlfriend who he dated a month before you met him. I knew his name was familiar since an attorney I knew worked his case” You felt sickness in your stomach looking at the pictures. That could have been you. Evan had anger problems it was obvious but you never knew he could escalate to that. The horrible names he started to attack you with was just a start.

"Leave him sweetheart he go what he deserved"

And just like that he was cut from your life

A month went by and you were starting to feel better Saul or Jimmy (he confessed his real name to be) was by your side almost all the time.

At first you found it to be sweet but rather clingy at the same time but you didn’t mind. He was there for you.

One morning he invited you to his office on his break to talk and you couldn’t say no.

Sitting there with a coffee made by Francisca you listened to him go on with unusual stories from his clients and laugh. Then before you knew it, he was closer to you sitting there with his hand on your thigh that made you of the night you invited him to your apartment and then apparently fell asleep on him. You couldn’t remember much.

“Y/n?” Saul asked in a rather strange tone gazing at you with his baby blue eyes.

“Yeah?” You ask

“Do you feel lonely sweetheart?” It took a minute for you to think. Do you? Ever since Evan you still craved romantic connection but your trust issues skyrocketed.

“In some ways yes” You answer truthfully holding his hand.

“Well so do I but you being here with me changed something” Saul responded honestly

“And I would do anything for you” He continued rubbing your cheek so softly. The action made you realise what was happening

Is he trying to confess his feelings for you? The man who guided and protected you. A dear friend has sparked romantic interest you were so unaware of.

“The truth is I felt this way from the day we met. You were so scared and lost I wanted to shield you from everything” Slowly but surely, he placed a sweet peck to your lips.

You didn’t know what to say but you understood even if it felt strange. You kinda liked it. Saul saved you from serving in cell saved you from a progressing abusive relationship.

“Be with me” Saul urged softly

You trusted him

This is what you needed placing your hand at the back of his neck you pulled him in a longing kiss closing your eyes. His lips were soft as his tongue started to slide into your mouth with a groan.

After a few minutes you both pulled back with a gasp and Saul smiled “I suppose you accept then?” he asked tucking a hair behind your ear.

“I feel the same way yes, I appreciate everything you have done for me and this last month have been amazing with you. Never would I have thought my old lawyer would be catching feelings for me now” You tease nudging his shoulder.

“I can’t help myself I want to be there for you and I would never treat you like he did. The man was a secretive asshole”

“No secrets?” You ask holding out your pinky

“No secrets” He repeated giving you a pinky promise.

He then gave you another deep kiss and grabbed the phone on his desk “Yeah Fransica, I advise you not to swing by in here for at least twenty minutes” he said making you giggle “Make that an hour” With that he ended the call. Poor Fransica must be rolling her eyes.

Be with me he urged and so you complied

Saul was on cloud nine making his merry way to his car after work he couldn’t wait to see you.

Next to his car a familiar face stared so grumpily

“Mike good to see ya” he greeted with a wave

“You owe me for that set up and you need to pay up for that girl those pictures were convincing” His baritone voice answered taking off his sunglasses.

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say” Saul dismisses opening his car door.

His sweetheart wouldn’t be in his arms if it wasn’t for him and to that he owed Mike

Fin

Comment, like and follow for more

Sugar part three is on its way it was accidentally deleted and I had to rewrite :/

#saul fanfic #better call saul #fanfic #saul goodman x reader

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queermania · 8 months

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Hi what are your thoughts on Lebanon? (the episode not the town hehe)

the first time i watched it i loathed it. now that i've had time to sit with it, i've really come around. i think it has a couple flaws, one of them fatal, but i still like it.

it's first flaw is that it's too ambitious. there's not enough time for what it's trying to do. the town as a character is a really neat concept and one they could've gotten a whole episode out of (and they should've). and the concept of john coming back for a day is also a really neat concept, and again, something that needed at least an entire episode to breathe. smooshing those two together makes it all feel underdeveloped and rushed.

the second flaw, and the one that is fatal in my opinion, is the john and mary of it all. i know a lot of people are bothered by sam and dean forgiving john and having nice family moments with him but i'm not. those were moments that they earned, not because john deserved them, but because the boys did. sam didn't need to have another shouting match with john. he'd already come to understand why john did the things he did. he'd already forgiven him. hell, he'd already forgiven him to his face even if john didn't know that was happening (in 5x13). this just let sam have closure.

the same is true of dean. dean didn't need to yell at john and tell him all of the ways he fucked up. i mean, the fact that john ruined their lives is already pretty clear. dean is in his forties and is living in a bunker and still hunting. but dean got to look his dad in the eyes and say, "this is my life because i chose it and it may not look the way you think it should but it's mine. i don't need your approval." he got to choose the family he built for himself over his dad and that's so so special to me.

none of that was about forgiving john, or even forgetting everything he did. it was about closure.

the only one who let john off the hook was mary. john gave her children the exact life she didn't want them to have and he did it in her memory. he turned her into nothing more than an effigy to mourn. she's been told, to her face, that what john did to her children was child abuse..... and she has no thoughts about it? i didn't need to see sam and dean yell at john and spew every hateful thing they ever felt because i already knew how they were feeling. i'd watched over fourteen seasons of it. but mary's surely complicated feelings about john are never addressed at any point in the show and that's fine up until the moment they bring john back to stand in front of her, face-to-face. i know there wasn't enough time in the episode to get into it but that's a problem. you cannot load the chekhov's gun of john and mary being forced together for breeding purposes + have mary learn of every horrible thing john ever did to the children she didn't want to be hunters, all in her name, and then not pull the trigger. you just can't. and it never gets addressed before or after this episode either. it's just a glaring neon sign. and it makes the whole thing feel like john apologia.

all that being said, i do love the idea of the town as a character and what it reveals about sam and dean. i loved seeing sam and dean have those moments of closure with their father. i loved seeing a glimpse into an alternate timeline. i loved the utilization of cas and zachariah. i loved that in the end dean chose cas and jack over his father. there was a lot of good in the episode.

#replies #anonymous #1413 #s14

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th3g0dofdarkn3ss · 1 year

Text

❝PRIDE❞

You and Wednesday have been together for a while now. But she feels the need to relay a message to you that'll make you realize that you are hers and hers only.

Wednesday Addams x Male!Reader

Categories: Fluff, Angst

TW: Physical Abuse & Cutting

Jonas, Francis, and Angelus are made up characters.

Me, I wasn't taught to share, but care

In another life, I surely was there

Me, I wasn't taught to share, but care

I care, I care

Sitting in the courtyard, next to your fellow Fangs clique, you caught yourself thinking about you and Wednesday's relationship. You and Wednesday have been together for over 2 weeks now. Ever since she took a liking to you and agreed to let you in her world that is covered in black, you've been adjusting to who she is. Her formal gothic appearance, sadistic tendencies, and dark personality were the things that lured you to her. You had a thing for dark feminity and Wednesday is the exact embodiment of it. No other girl in Nevermore made you feel the way that she made you feel. Like you were below her but cherished, similar to the relationship between a love seeking son and a reserved stoic mother. Each snarky remark and piercing stare she gave you came from a place of love, a place of love which you weren't familiar with but were very willing to move into it.

"Y/N!” your friend whispered to you to snap you out of your sudden daydreaming trance. Your head jerked up to look up at Jonas who called your name and then the rest of your surrounding clique also looking back at you like you had three heads. You shift your head back at Jonas "Sorry. I kinda zoned out there." you nervously laughed to ease the uneasy tension that was pouring into your chest making it slightly difficult to breathe.

"Were you thinking about Wednesday again?" Angelus asked popping out her head from the few taken seats left of you so you can see her, Angelus had a teasing grin on her face, you couldn't see her dark eyes through her pitch black sunglasses but you can still see the sadistic look that you were sadly all so familiar with.

"Of course he is, ever since he found out about Wednesday's existence he mostly hangs out with her, but if he's not with her then he's surely thinking about that damned raven." Francis sighed while pushing up his prescripted glasses with his index finger and then flipping a page in the book he was reading.

You felt embarrassed on how Francis answered the question given to you with such accuracy. That viper Wednesday really has her body wrapped around your mind, squeezing the ever freedom you had left out of it.

You shaked your head "Look I'm sorry guys, I just haven't been myself lately as you can see. I've just been trying to adapt to who she is and apparently my time spent with y'all has been effected because of that." you apologized glancing at everyone hoping they'll accept your apology.

"Hey leave the man alone!" Jonas commanded lightheartedly. "Let the man do what he wants. He's got a girlfriend now so of course his priorities are gonna change. Even if a walking shadow is at the top of the list." he chuckled.

Jonas made you unwantedly crack a smile at his backhanded statement. The rest of your friends were chuckling at Jonas's words. Jonas has always been the guy to tell a joke, but never a lie. You appreciated that from him. But while you were having a few laughs with your group, your tounge started to feel dry and your throat even drier.

"I'm gonna get something to drink." you informed to your clique standing up from your seat. "Try not to end up in Wednesday's luring mysterious trance in the process." Angelus mocked, moving her 10 fingers around like she was imitating a wizard. You shaked your head with a annoyed smile and turned your path towards the water fountain that was located on the left side of the courtyard.

You approached the water fountain and leaned into it to catch a few sips. While you were drinking water, you felt three light taps on your left shoulder which interrupted you hydrating yourself. You raised up to see that it was Bianca. She greeted you with a smile and her hands interlocked at the waist. Wednesday told you a few things about Bianca which some of it you already knew from the get-go, so you knew that open smile that Bianca possessed had a hidden agenda behind it.

"Hey!" Bianca greeted, subtly bouncing on her toes cheerfully but planted her feet back down quickly. You wiped away the left over water that surrounded your mouth "Hey Bianca." you said unamused hoping that she'll get the hint but Bianca wasn't the type to take no for an answer.

"Oh why the sassy tone. You don't like me or something?" she questioned softly. "How can I like or dislike you if we haven't even interacted before?" you inquired acidly while shrugging out of confusion at her. Following the question you had asked her, Bianca closed the distance between you and her. Placing her arm gently on your shoulder, with a look in her eye that had a purpose of seducing you. "Well we can finally interact and I can finally use this opportunity to give you a reason to like me." she stated while shifting her eyes towards yours.

You stared at her in bemusement when you processed what she told you. She knew that you were in a relationship with Wednesday and as her rival she needed to get with you to get at her. You saw through Bianca. But before you could reply to her ridiculous statement, you suddenly felt a hand grab your left arm which shortly after yanked you away from Bianca. You snapped your head towards the person in front of you, it was Wednesday.

"Hey what's your problem?!" you queried whilst slightly wincing in pain from the tight grip that Wednesday possessed. She stopped in her tracks and turned herself around towards you to give you a stare that you were all so familiar with. "My problem is with the fact that snobby pathetic woman has the audacity to attempt to take what's mine." Wednesday glowered. "It seems like I need to resort to measures that'll make people visually get the message. Since the verbal one obviously didn't get through everyone's thick skull."

She turned around and kept pulling you towards the door out of the courtyard, but before you left the area, you looked over your shoulder to see your friends giving you the same worried look you were giving them but no one had the courage to step up to Wednesday, except Bianca which Wednesday supposedly had a message for. You were tense on what Wednesday was gonna say to you. You've never seen Wednesday act possessive before. She is infamous for her unpredictability so you had no clue on what was about to go down involving you.

She pulled you upstairs into her dorm with Enid laying on her bed reading a book. Enid raced up to her feet, "Uh Wednesday what happened?" she asked nervously. "I'm going to need you to stay out of this dorm for 10 minutes. Me and Y/N have some problems we need to solve."

"Woah, woah, woah, okay I-I-I didn't agree to live in this dorm with you so you can do the nasty." Enid protested while making stopping gestures with both hands up to her chest. "GET OUT!" Wednesday commanded. "Okay!" Enid complied and raced out of the room.

As soon as Enid closed the door, Wednesday grabbed your shirt, pushed your back onto the bed, and straddled across both of your thighs. Everything was happening so fast so you chose to attempt to calm her down "Look, Bianca came up to me and started flirting with me. I wasn't entertaining her. We both know who Bianca truly is and-" your racing words were interrupted by a slap on the chest that left a stinging sensation. "Shut up. I know what happened. Now I just know what to do." she stated.

"Hey Thing?" Wednesday called. Thing popped up on the left of you and turned his hand towards Wednesday to await her order. "Give me some rope." Wednesday ordered. Thing saluted with it's thumb and started his search for rope in Wednesday's desk. Her calling for rope made you even more anxious. "What do you need rope for?" you questioned knitting your eyebrows together. "You'll find out." Wednesday replied tilting her head at you.

You attempted to move Wednesday off of you with your hands but she grabbed your wrists and pinned them down over your head. "Keep struggling and it's going to get a whole lot worse than it is already." she informed looking dead in your eyes indicating that she was serious.

Thing popped on the left side of you again with black rope holstered on it's thumb. "Appreciate it." Wednesday thanked it while grabbing the rope. It shrugged and jumped down. Only leaving you and Wednesday.

Wednesday forcefully moved your wrists to meet each other and started binding them tightly with the black rope to the bedframe. When she finally got you tied up, you tugged at the restraints to see if you had a chance of becoming free but there was no hope for that happening.

Then out of nowhere. Wednesday started hammering your hips with her closed fists, her small hands packed a punch which made you immediately start wincing. "Ow Wednesday!" you expressed hoping that she'd have some sympathy but that chance were slim to none. "You won't dare talk to that snobby woman again right?" Wednesday questioned whilst still striking you. "Right." you groaned. "You won't ever converse with any woman that even shows a hint of interest, right?." she asked. "R-Right." you answered.

The prolonged attempt of trying to move your hips out the way got harder with every hit you received. Your mobility was lessening and lessening until it was even painful to attempt to move them. She continued this torture for over 5 minutes. The pain and the attempts to move made you very tired. Your eyes started to feel heavy and your body started to feel weak. But before you could pass out, she pulled a pocket knife from the desk beside y'all and raised it towards the left side of your neck.

"Stay still." she ordered. You started feel the blade pierce the surface of your skin. She was slowly moving the knife in a zigzag and then a bottom opened triangle. "Now everyone including you will get the message!" Wednesday said while standing up off of you and then freeing your restraints. "Stand up. We still have classes to go to today." Wednesday stood by the door to await your arrival.

You stood up and tried to walk towards the door but your bruised hips made your walking motion as stiff as a wooden plank. It felt painful to walk but you had to follow your girlfriend's orders unless you wanted to endure more of her torture methods.

Plant biology was you and Wednesday's next period. As you walked in the room holding hands with Wednesday, students in the classroom started to look at you the same way your friends looked at you when they interrupted your daydreaming, like you had three heads.

"Y/N what happened to your neck?" a student quietly questioned. Before you sat down with your girlfriend, you took a look at your neck in the full body mirror that was in the corner of the classroom and you saw "W.A." carved into your neck which were your girlfriend's initials. She branded you.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams x male reader #wednesdday addams x y/n #fluff #angst #fanfic #physical abuse #cutting #Spotify

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