#I have one that I’ve said nothing to

[starlight-strider]

Currently dumping all my thoughts on here.

um.

uhhhh.

Man waiting sucks I’m waiting for a reply on this adopt I offered on and I really want it but it’s been almost 3 days and nothing.

#Renu Says Stuff #no tumblr I’m not lower casing my name #I wish people could get back to me faster #Then again I guess I’m pretty slowly replying to adopt offers #I have one that I’ve said nothing to #But I have my reasons #Those reasons being I’m unsure about taking the offer on the character #Rambling in the tags is super fun actually

[rithmeres]

bait / hook / line / sinker

#the hunger games #finnick odair #thg #the hunger games fanart #this was a very very weird painting for me. #like i have painted decapitated heads and severed arms and shattered ribs and guts falling out and gallons of blood #and not once have i ever looked up from my work and been disgusted or disturbed by what i’ve painted #but the first day i was working on this one i looked at it and just felt so sick i had to get up and take a shower to get away from it #HE WAS 14 WTF WTF WTF WTF #that is a baby. that is a little kid. turned into a killer and paraded around like a novelty and used like a toy. #but on the whole i am very satisfied with this propaganda piece it's just as beautiful and unsettling as i wanted it to be #ugh my mind. nothing in the composition is overt but all the implications are there #not just the capitol's sexualization and brutalization of children but the fetishization of the districts' labor as well #as my good friend and mutual theworldiswhispering said. #'the hard labor you do is not safe from being romanticized by the people who benefit from it at your expense' #and i think about that every day #wherefore art thou #thg reread #why he so smooth.. just like a shark #[katniss voice] mfs took all my body hair cant have shit in the capitol #i just know tumblr's gonna crunch the quality of these images but i worked on a canvas 4 times larger than the usual size #so a lot of the detail gets lost when i post it. oh well. click for quality i guess #his expression changes when you're far away #far away he looks kind of vacant #close up he's smiling. like the photographer wanted a specific cocky emotion from him and it was there #but when you zoom out there's just a thousand yard stare #i did think about turning these into prints or actual posters but um. i don't think i should do that

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

#personal update #I got into Trolls #but I mean really really really into it #new fixation the brainrot is unstoppable #it’s all I think about I’m to the point that I need all Trolls content to survive #all Trolls content HAND IT OVER! merch fanart fics ALL OF IT #I’m so in love with Branch Floyd and John Dory #Rock Zombie Branch is sooooooo #and so I’d Rock Zombie Poppy #I AM THE NUMBER ONE JOHN FORY DEFENDER LEAVE HIM ALONE HE DID NOTHING WRONG AND DOESNT DEAERVE THE HATE HE GETS #I need what Broppy have oh my fucking god it’s so cute the love they have for each other it’s consuming me #and I need more of Branch and Clay those two rule following safety loving nerds would have such a great relationship #DID YOU SEE CLAY FAWNING OVER BRANCH WHEN THEY REUNITED SQUISHING HIS CHEEKS #THATS HIS BABY BROTHER AND HES AS CUTE NOW AS HE WAS WHEN HE WAS A BABY #AND THE ENDING WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE WAS SORRY FOR MISSING HIM GROW UP BUT COULDNT WAIT FOR THWM TO HANG OUT NOW #everyone focuses on Branch and Floyd but I NEED BRANCH AND CLAY #Speaking of Floyd I love him so much. he’s all I think about. that is if I’m not thinking of Branch #John Dory is everything to me? like I’m obsessed with him in a different way. like I said I’ll defend him every single time #BRUUUUUUUCE!!! 💞💞💞💞💞 #Trolls 3 is still in cinemas and I’ve literally been going to rewatch it once a week #no joke I’m going again this Wednesday #AND I HAVE THE FILM AT HOME! I have all 3 of them and I watch them every day #I’m telling you the brainrot is unstoppable I am going insane #People apparently don’t like when I talk about any other interest of mine especially Trolls #it’s like I’m almost not allowed to talk about anything other than Good Omens #so since people don’t like me doing permanent posts YOU’RE GETTING IT IN THE TAGS #okay I’m done…. for now. #Crowley #Crowley Of The Day #Good Omens

[shokupanko]

First Fukase Friday of 2024! This one took 5hrs lol I wanna to be so extra (─‿─)

#vocaloid #art #fanart #vocaart #fukase #procreate #fukase friday #FIVE HOURS OF MY LIFE #But actually I was working on it for a week on then off so the total time was 5 hours and 11 minutes of insanity #I love creating new outfits so much like designing clothes is sm fun #I was trying to make it steampunk but then it started looking harajuku now I have no idea what it is lol #I feel bad that I had nothing for his birthday but I’m always late for VocalSynth birthdays anyway sooooi #ALSO I SAW THAT SOMEONE SAID MY ART INSPIRES THEM AND OMG I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPH #I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH I MISSED YOUUUUUUUU #I tried to make this extra extra detailed which is why it took so long #usually I finished artworks in like an hour hour and a half #but I wanted this one to be ✨special✨ #ALSO can I just say January was like the hardest month of my life? it was so mentally draining and exhausting #I started spending more time with my siblings and now I can’t get away from them lol I love them with my whole soul #no like fr they keep me going and I’ve never been happier #maybe isolating yourself when you’re sad ISNT a good idea and you SHOULD socialize? #I’m big dumb okay #anyway happy Fukase Friday and belated birthday to my special boy #ALSO I REALIZED THAT I’VE NEVER DRAWN HIM WITH HIS MARK???? WHY????

[godblooded]

just an fyi, and it feels like it needs to be said here: your blog is your own space and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. if you’re sad? vent. get sad. maybe put it under a cut, definitely tag it, but get sad. if you feel like you need someone to talk to? drop a freaking message about how you’re feeling like you could use a buddy, or anything randomly engaging. if you’re having a hard time, you should feel safe and okay to talk about it in your own space. we’re writers and we’re people and while there’s a lot to be said for how engagement outside of oneself is necessary in rp (and really really needs to improve), i think there’s a lot that must be said about people reaching out to others. it’s become so solitary here — the whole ‘reblog from source’ thing when it comes to shit like about and musings is absurd. the whole refusing to like things is ridiculous. yes, curate your space, that’s important, but curating your space into a studio apartment only you live in doesn’t make this a community anymore, it makes it a studio apartment you live in.

just be yourself here. do whatever you want. but i’m always saying: remember you’re not alone, and don’t let yourself feel that way.

#ooc. o kaptain. #[this is illogically worded and after an argument I’m already upset but I just felt like this has to be put here. it’s been sitting on my #brain for so long and it’s something i just wanted to discuss. the way the rpc has become not even an echo chamber just… a shitty ny #apartment only one person lives in that can fit your fridge and your bedroom in the same room. the way literal fandoms have divided each #other through nothing but massive senses of entitlement and so much gatekeepy fucking language. it’s exhausting to watch this happen #literally all because i have no idea where interaction went and yes I’ve been virtually inactive for months now but. it absolutely isn’t for #lack of trying to come back. it’s hugely due to a lack of interaction whenever I reach out and then the feeling like I’m being either #entertained or dismissed. this is a social space and we’re people and everybody just needs to recognize that. like. last week my introverted #broski started discussing how as he’s older he feels loneliness more tangibly but he hates people and i looked right at him and said …yeah #dude. that’s natural. we’re humans. we need each other to live. we need spaces we create and communities we make. but like. there need to be #interactive people in those spaces. we’re social creatures. i love you guys and this is a ramble but… it’s been on my mind awhile. and #frankly? feels kinda good to finally speak my mind.]

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

#hi everyone #I’m going around hugging you all #okay now that we are gathered here today #i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best #i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time #and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol #but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine #literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything #I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake…. #I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour #then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it #and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again #I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do #so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour. #I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday #y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts #I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story #I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my #own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing? #y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents #.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire #but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself #I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump #I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions #I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well #I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day. #but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it #I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing #I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!! #I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time

[sarellathesphinx]

Hey did you guys know Reeve is the one who had to tell Elmyra and Marlene that Aerith died in the original game. I think about this constantly

#I’ve never truly Reeveposted here but if I did it would just be posts like this #cait tells you this if you speak to him in the Highwind. he says Elmyra and Marlene both cried their eyes out #the idea of Reeve who has been spying on the gang but has come to really care about them despite his hesitance and misgivings #watching aerith die #and knowing that with Tseng out of commission and the Turks handling stuff for Rufus. no one is going to think about telling Elmyra. #and he already has her and Marlene under surveillance. and it’s the worst fucking thing in the world but someone has to tell her #ugh. Ough. AUGH. #reeve a guy caught between his ideals and the rock they’ve been ground underneath having to go tell this woman that her daughter is dead. #and he’s so fucking sorry about it. #and there’s nothing anyone can do to fix it #and if Elmyra throws something at him or yells at him it’s no less than he deserves but honestly. #considering aerith could tell when elmyra’s husband died #I think she probably already said goodbye to her mom. and reeve’s news is just confirmation #and that’s somehow even worse #ugh. #text #reeve tuesti #ff7 #I’m tagging these for my purposes so uh sorry if this is in the main tags

[perhaps-mr-collins-has-a-cousin]

Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3

#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incoming‚ feel free to skip: #this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over #but i’m fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome #which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive #until it won’t tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated #usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips #(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologist’s case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips #and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips #in all the dermatological literature he had read) #i can’t follow the protocol which all the journal articles i’ve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall #leave the area the heck alone for at least a year #because if i don’t apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed #so it’s looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life #and i’m not dealing with the thought of that very well #i’ve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face #and not being able to take proper care of the skin there #and this is just too much for me #i know God is allowing this for a reason but it’s filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i don’t know how to go on #but i must and i will #this isn’t a serious or a life-threatening condition but it’s looking like a pretty hopeless one and it’s hurting me badly #and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do #i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome #on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies #and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting #(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said) #(it'll be fun she said) #ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc. #thanks for reading ily <3

[kacievvbbbb]

*****JJK Spoilers*****

There’s something to be said about the fact that since the first chapter we met him Yuuji has been preparing to die. It has been this huge terrifying thing looming over his head, every new friend a person he will have to leave behind. And he takes it on as bravely as he can. We watched him grapple with the fact that his death will be just another cog in the machine and he had to except that and he said you know what then I’m gonna be the smoothest running cog you ever did see.. itadori Yuuji doesn’t want too but he was ready to die, he DID die twice!. And then Sukuna leaves and the higher ups are dead. He is suddenly thrust into a world where he’s not next in line at the execution block. Suddenly Yuuji has a future and that’s not something he prepared for, especially not the one he’s left with. a dead mentor with no body to mourn, one best friend dead, the other halfway there and a Sensei he believes with every fiber of his being is the strongest just lost to his number 1 tormentor. The dude his death was supposed to protect the world from. This is Yuuji’s worst nightmare come to life because all this time he has been preparing to leave his friends behind for them to mourn himnot once did it cross his mind that he’d be the one left behind, that he’d be the one to mourn them. Itadori Yuuji was prepared to die and and it was okay because he was doing something good, something that could protect the world and now, in his mind, he failed cause sukuna is loose again and gojo is dead, nobara is dead, nanami is dead, megumi is possessed and halfway there and he wasn’t prepared to grieve. He’s been thrown into a world where his life doesn’t have an expiration date and all his friends are dead and there’s nothing left but a promise he can no longer keep to his grandfather.

And It drives me literally insane.

#jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk gojo #jjk itadori #nobara kugisaki #And he’s so like every shonen male lead in character but his arc is like nothing I’ve ever seen #there is also something to be said about Megumi the one that was most ardently opposed to the thought off yuuji dying #being the one that sukuna forced himself upon and lined up on the executioner block #because of a power taht has once again made him the target of old powerful perverts #like this drives me insane #the symbolism #I have so much to say about the trio and their sensei like don’t even get me started on nobara and how she’s most like gojo #because we will be here forever. #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu megumi #jujutsu nanami #jujutsu sorcerer #itadori yuuji #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugasaki #gojo saturo #sukuna #my thougths

[bbreaddog]

.

#personal #certainly one of the strangest birthdays I’ve had #nothing happened #but like /nothing/ happened y’know? #it’s nice receiving bday wishes from ppl who know my bday #I hate getting them from ppl who take up less than 30% of my headspace usually #like it feels impersonal and like it’s out of obligation #there’s a school meeting tomorrow #none of my coworkers or my boss have said anything about my bday today which is good #and I hope to god no one finds out tomorrow #also a bit strange Not receiving bday wishes from friends I talk to daily #I’m not exactly one to advertise my bday #I actually met up with a friend a couple days ago and they asked me what’s been happening in my life #bc even tho we talk every day #they don’t know anything about me #which was pretty bizarre to find out #bc I thought I updated them on like #everything #do I really not talk about myself ever? #my best friend also has been asking me the same ‘what’s happening with you’ type thing every time we’ve met up #and like #I update our high school friend gc #but only one other person actually checks the chat so… #I never know how to answer when I’m asked what’s been happening recently #what’s worth bringing up? #what have I already said? or what haven’t I said rather #idk #it’s strange #I’m feeling a mix of complicated things atm #will expand later on

[8rujaa]

i swear i have the worst nightmares when i feel my best mentally. what the fuck is up with that

#let me be happy u stupid fucking brain #i had so many weird dreams last night #one was kinda cool although the plot was weird and stressful #my mom lived in this weird old house which funny enough i’ve dreamt about this specific house before and it always belongs to my mom #she had filled up her shower all the way and i went to use the bathroom and she had two giant PINK koi fish swimming in there #like what the fuck 🤣 #she said they had gotten so big she needed a new aquarium for them #and then it got scary and traumatic and the rest of the dream had nothing to do with the fish #but it made me want an aquarium so so bad like ughhh i wish i could have a huge aquarium with pretty fish #it just makes me sad for the fish idk if they live happy lives in a box i hope they do maybe they don’t notice?? lmao idk nothing abt fish #brain vomit

[compacflt]

wip wednesday: trying to solve my narrative issues by spending a fuckton of time mapping them out

#purple are scenes. red are themes. blue are… don’t worry about blue it was just for me to track some motifs #a nice way to visualize which scenes are actually worth finishing & which ones might need to get scrapped if i can’t find the juice #procrastination takes many forms! #this is a true wip unlike most of my other wip wednesdays. Peeling back the curtains here. #welcome to my twisted mind #this will not be my only post of the day bc it is a little lackluster lmao #i am afraid to finish writing it because then i will have written it and it will be finished if that makes sense #then i will have said everything i wanted to say about ice & mav and i will have nothing left to say #actually… ive already written all that. what isn’t written is all the connective tissue ‘character moves from A to B’ stuff #boring stuff #I’ve already written everything i wanted to say about ice and mav. that’s a little terrifying. #it’s all in this document.

[unintentional-sad-wizard]

Help I said I was gonna wait until summer to get a dog but there are dogs at a local shelter that fit all my requirements and they are so good and what if I just went to look. Just to chat with the staff about these dogs. And perhaps casually filled out an adoption application for one of them well I’m there.

#there’s nothing to stop me but common sense #and really it would be nice to get a dog sooner so they have more time to settle in before some of my trips this summer #but also I’m about to start spring term of classes which is likely going to be rough #but. I’ve already been thinking about taking some time off from school this term for my mental health #so like. maybe this timing would make sense #Augh they’re so good #there’s three dogs from the same litter #smallish shepherd mixes they’re like 35 pounds #which is a good size #and two of them look a bit like my childhood dog #they’re good with cats and with other dogs and all have pretty good leash and crate manners #the shelter said one of them is pretty vocal but the other two aren’t #and that they all are moderately active so good for hiking and running but also able to chill on the couch #Augh. I need one of them. please

[babacontainsmultitudes]

*waving awkwardly at whoever happens to be walking by* Just a little heads up (since I guess I feel weird not giving any sort of notice?) that I’ll be making a point to be on here much less going forward (not disappearing, I’ll still be around, but probably only popping in now and again)… At least for now! Summer is always a difficult time of year for me, to be honest with you, and being chronically online definitely won’t help with that. So… Yeah! As per usual feel free to @ me to make sure I see something (y’all can also dm me lol no need to be shy). 💜

That’s it! Again just felt like leaving a little notice aha… Anyhoo, y’all take care and be safe :] ✌️

#BUT for the little handful of people I chat with on Discord- #I very much do want us to stay in touch and encourage you to message me liberally about literally whatever #Rat… Countless… Fey… I mean you know who you are I think #Cal you’re included in that implicitly too haha ik we don’t talk directly all that much but we’re friends and we really oughta keep intouch #Anyhoo that’s it yeah! #Like I said #summer can be pretty rough for me #On the one hand I have a very romantic view of summer #On the other- it tends to be when I’m most prone to falling into depressive episodes #Alsoooooo- I have to admit that while I’m very grateful for this fandom and all the cool people in it that I’ve met #I often kinda miss when listening to it was more of a thing I did with myself if that makes sense?? #Well now I have a few closer friends that I absolutely still want to talk about the show with- #But overall yeah I think at least for the next bit I want to go back to enjoying the show without all the fandom stuff attached #Well. AHA I’ll still be around like I said just- okay this is such a long ramble for nothing LOL typical Baba… #:3 Listen take care and don’t be shy if ya genuinely wanna keep in touch is all #💜

[sailforvalinor]

In other news, my church sign has been hit by a car for the *checks notes* fourth time

#my dad says he’s starting to take this personally lol #also The Boy is calling me Friday. less nervous than before but still nervous #I think the thing I may have figured out as to why I’m feeling panicky about this is that (at least currently) it doesn’t feel intense at #all. like does that make any sense? maybe this is because I’m not a teenager anymore but like #he’s smart he’s funny and makes me laugh we share some interests but are also fairly different he’s easy to talk to but I don’t feel like #I’ve been hit in the head with a frying pan? does that make any sense?? #argh. and he literally has said nothing about feelings like at all #which is chill with me on the one hand but on the other I have NO IDEA how he feels about me #I mean the fact that we text all the time and he talks to me for hours on the phone kind of says a lot but he’s literally said NOTHING #like he’s probably just waiting until I’m not on the other side of the globe that makes sense and I like taking it slow but also THE #UNCERTAINTY GIRLIES #I love the friendship and the fact that we jive so well as friends but though I may not seem like it in-person I AM A ROMANTIC HELP

[waugh-bao]

“Tell Me Straight” Lyrics (KR, 2023)

#I have to admit. I shut this off after about 30 seconds when I first heard it #because the reverb/auto tune on Keith’s voice and the generic beat track are both terrible #they still are #but I went back after hearing that reviewer say it was the 2nd best song on the album/best lyrically #and realized…this is the Charlie song #I mean just look at the first verse #‘do we have something or nothing at all/just tell me straight’ #after everything they went through with Charlie keeping Keith in the dark about how sick he was #‘you got me high and it’s quite a long fall’ when he used to say Charlie gave him the ability to fly #‘how do we finish? how do we start? … how do we meet? how do we part?’ #because now he knows their ending and their beginning despite insisting for years that Charlie would never die on him or fail him #‘everyone is asking questions/I’ve got one or two’ when the question he’s asked most frequently is about Charlie #‘just need a little time to clear the mind’ after he said he could only mourn Charlie ‘in increments’ because otherwise it was ‘too much’ #and ‘play me a song/life’s moving too fast’ is depressingly self evident #the rolling stones #charlie watts #keith richards #old married band #lyrics