#I see this is a vicious cycle

[freedarick]

So it is customary to bring some food item (usually sweets) to everyone in the office when you go to another city, whether it be due to a business trip or personal vacation; but when I just randomly bring chocolate to share with everyone it’s weird...

#I know it is a cultural thing and I know some people feel uncomfortable receiving stuff even if it is just a small chocolate #but I kind of cannot help it. I want to be nice and share what I believe brings joy aka chocolate #but I do understand that the point of sharing joy is actually giving joy to others so if it does not bring them joy there is no point #I know I should stop and I will do my best. But it is really hard now with the holidays #I don't celebrate Christmas and neither does anyone else in the office but I thought it was a good excuse to share some chocolate #I think only one person was happy about it #another person was kind of happy but a bit annoyed #another one was annoyed but accepting the fact that I am just like that #two were definitely just annoyed #I hate being like this but it is where I am at right now #I see myself feeling like a nuisance and this feeling making me act more like one #I see this is a vicious cycle #but alas #I just want to accept myself and accept that I am annoying and let it be #I think then I can free myself from this and maybe even stop being that annoying in that sense #I am even being annoying here right now #ugh #I know the answer is to focus on work and become better at it so that I can support my colleagues #I will keep trying #ironically there is a word for this kind of thing #arigatameiwaku

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I know WWX has a traumatic past with dogs, but sometimes you see that the dogs just want his attention, and a part of me is unsure who to feel sorry for more. Who's more pitiable, the dejected dog, or WWX who jumps into LWJ's arms?

Ran the numbers, and it turns out they are both equally pathetic.

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #ask #I could keep the list going for ages. #Digs around in the dirt #will claw at the door if a loved one is behind it and you can't see them anymore #gets to zoomies and needs to run around for a bit #Women want to approach you if you are accompanied by this beast #and so on and so on #If your man is sitting outside your door growling at strangers who get to close while you sleep #if he's tracking mud into the house and your bed #if his nose is always kind of wet #that's either a dog or wwx. think about how you would feel if a cute stray dog waddled into your house and repeat with wwx #the feeling is comparable. for me at least #A dog wants pets and a wwx wants to not pet the dog. its a vicious cycle. both suffer and no one wins.

[paging-possum]

was going to start writing an essay about the possible overlap between christianity and OCD and then I remembered im on Tumblr dot com and also a fucking idiot when it comes to putting things into words

#idk man I just think about it sometimes #because I feel like one of the biggest steps in the direction of ocd treatment/management/recovery is to acknowledge that it exists #and recognize your obsessions and compulsions are becoming detrimental #and it becomes so much more difficult to do that when the obsessions are around gods perception of you/your own moral standing #because it just feels like a normal religious thing to be thinking about and worried about #and compulsions like repeated prayer just feel like something you're supposed to do #so even the thought that they could be bad feels blasphemous and it becomes a vicious cycle of ocd and IDK!!! IDK!!!!! #I still feel very weird talking about it with other people but its something I think about a lot because the worst part of it is that #no matter how bad it is breaking the cycle is maybe the most terrifying part of it and on top of that if religion is a big part of your lif #then it can be harder to find support for it as well because everyone around you doesn't see it as a problem either #idk im just rambling a little bit. anyways. hi guys religious ocd is a major bitch I kinda want to write something about it

[prototypelq]

...do you think Dante ever realised how Vergil-like he was acting around Patty? She was quite obnoxious in the anime, did he ever think 'oh no is this what being Vergil felt like?', or 'was I ever this annoying?'...

Knowing Patty did him a lot of good, do you think it, per chance, also reminded him of happier times in his and Vergil's childhood when they just played together and annoyed each other all the time?...only to, of course squash those nicer memories the moment Patty leaves, because then the reminders of what he's done come crashing down....

#i am having F e E L i n g S ok ay #seriously i just thought that dante always tried to make Patty mind her own business and that's exactly what smol Vergil wanted Dante to do #and it spiraled down from there #patty's obnoxious behavior helped him to keep Thoughts TM at bay but what if it also reminded him of his childhood #i mean her entire background is Painfully familiar to dante #i am a firm believer that protecting her helped dante heal some old wounds and he was already in an obsessively retrospective mood at the #time maybe she also provoked a resurfacing of some happier memories of his #only to get hammered by his trauma even harder later of course and to get actual hammered in attempts to escape this vicious cycle #congrats now you're sad too ) #at least it is bittersweet this time #patty propaganda #makes my brain go brrrrrrr #wonder if it'll work in reverse too! would meeting vergil and seeing dante go all 'annoying little brother' on him remind patty of her first #meeting with dante for the first time? and will vergil's 'moody' behavior remind her of dante at that time #i will Force patty into sparda family trauma and you can't stop me #patty lowell #patty adopted dante as her father figure #patty and nero are cousins #vergil is patty's classy uncle #dmc

[cisthoughtcrime]

.

#every time i close my eyes i see your head between my thighs #it's such a vicious cycle every time we get together it's a 12+ hr fuckfest and then i go home and want it even more for next time #but now i leave in less than two weeks to go back to the sexless tundra that is british academia #and all i can think is oh my god what's hotter than that flash of eye contact when you glance up then hold me harder #aaaa anyway im normal

[ickypuppi3]

you think kids at school asked billy where his mom was and billy just made up different stories each time because he didn’t want to say that she left

#billy hargrove #billy’s mom #canon to me that that kid he was beating up said something about his mom #like something about her not wanting him #i can just see him getting in so many fights over it #and then neil would find out #and it would just be a vicious cycle

[loveletterworm]

god i make posts like this way too often but i miss when iwas like 14 and would literally just draw whatever on deviantart or whatever and nowadays i act like if i post anything that isn't an extremely mundane life update that nobody but me has any reason to care about then a bomb is going to go off

#bro its no wonder you havent been commissioned in years You dont fucking draw!!!! not where anyone can see it anyway!!! #i need to like make fanart and stuff again so people would have reason to care about what little i do post now. #but everytime i could i get embarrassed and dont post anything. #i dont know why i remain in this arbitrarily vicious cycle and have for 1 million years now. #i don't think anybody appreciates it.

[whitneysboyslut2]

...hello? what?

#i've been to the underground farm this save‚ and spent nearly the whole time making a pure menace of myself #i Would Not Let Him Break Me #then i got caught in a vicious gangrape cycle and had to dip #but now i'm tempted to go back and see if i can up our relationship to “delightful” #speaking #dol #dol screenshot #degrees of lewdity

[cockyroaches]

Adhd being genetic and neurodivergency as a whole making it much harder to move out of yr parents home means you're gonna be living with someone who's annoying in the same way you are and it drives u up the walls. Literal dogfight

#/this isnt about anything serious #mom just nabs my charger bc she takes hers to school but even with more than one she'll eventually leave all of them there #meaning. she needs to take either dads or mine. and we are both Not happy campers about it #+ she lets her poor little thing reach 0 pretty much Every Day which is also an adhd thing definitely #you see what i mean. we r all annoying each other in a vicious cycle #bitch mantis

[isaac-clarke]

Me every time I jump onto DBD and play killer

#i swear #i played/main killer until i burned myself out #so for the last 1.5 years been playing more survivor/swf than killer #but the less killer i play #the more anxious i get at the thought of it when #i decide to hop onto it #I HATE THIS VICIOUS CYCLE OF ANXIETY FOR KILLER #like when i get my ass clapped or get tunneled to death on surv #at 5 gens* #yeah i dont have much fun and may get annoyed #but i've never felt the anxiety i do when i play killer #i s2g toxic survivors have traumatized me forever on killer #i never wanna die when i get a shit map on surv #but killer? i sure as shit do when i see Garden of Cringe #or get sent to Ormand

[dxnyarya]

#its a vicious cycle with these two #max and lucas seeing the other with their missing clothes : 😮 #lumax love language is clothes sharing i know this in my soul #max loves the way lucas’s clothes are always so soft and lucas loves that max’s clothes smell like her #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #lumax #stranger things

[wingaround]

I don’t often see it get talked about much these days (maybe I’m wrong, IDK, it’s just that other fans I’ve talked to don’t know/don’t recall), but the Grimm storyline from Legends of the Dark Knight had a pretty memorable portrayal of Bruce, Dick, and guilt.

If you’re not familiar with this, Grimm was a five-issue arc in Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (#149–153) which took place during the maiden year of Dick’s term as Robin. It was written by J.M. DeMatteis with art by Trevor Von Eden and José Luis García-López.

Basically, Dick follows a pickpocket named Wendi into the subterranean “children’s paradise” of Mother Grimm, a deceptively jovial villain who lures wayward children there. The plot and writing honestly gets a bit convoluted towards the end, but commits and resolves satisfactorily. All you really need for context here out is Mother Grimm.

(All images henceforth are described in ALT text.)

I’m specifically talking about issue #151, or Part 3 of the arc. At this point, Dick had become entranced by the temptation of Mother Grimm’s world like the other children had, and when Batman came to take him back, Dick refused to go along. It was then that Mother Grimm gave Batman some vivid hallucinations (where he’s reverted to the form of a child) that stirred up some morbid, subconscious thoughts.

Already we get hit on the nose with the question, “Why’d you bring a little boy into the Batman’s warped world?” Because it’s this very notion that makes up the foundation of why Bruce found a connection with Dick in the first place during their early years together.

The following panels then posit a pretty disturbing frame of reasoning. And also keep in mind that Dick is the one recounting and narrating what Bruce told him of the ordeal, which Bruce had chosen to disclose years later. It illustrates a subconscious fear that Bruce has: that he had only taken Dick in and raised him into vigilantism for the sole purpose of compensating for what he (in his mind) had failed to do: die with his parents.

I cut off the lower panels, but it’s necessary for you to know (if you’ve never read this) that it’s Batman who saves young Bruce from the fall, and wakes him.

So he breaks free of the hallucination, but some pages later Bruce is exposed once again to the mind-altering chemicals of Mother Grimm, and this time he’s seeing himself as a child alongside Dick and a vision of the scenes of their respective parents’ deaths, had they both died alongside them.

He has a bit of a reckoning in this moment, saying to both Dick and his child self that he’s trying in his own way to help them, to prevent the fate of death from coming to them as it did their parents, that they do not also have to die.

But HOLD IT! There are some serious layers to this onion. After all, as Dick is the one narrating, he admits that Bruce didn’t really tell Dick what exactly he saw in this particular moment, but could reasonably guess (and he’s most likely correct, which is a testament to the fact of how deeply Dick knows Bruce). But that means this is also a reflection of Dick’s psyche, which develops in relation to Bruce’s because of the similarities of their traumas.

This simultaneously accomplishes the following:

Dick coming to terms with his own survivor’s guilt by using Bruce as a mirror.

Dick comes to a better understanding of why Bruce let him become a part of Batman’s world.

It means a lot more when you consider how Dick is recalling this whole story as an adult. How within that time, experiences like this one would have marinated.

Bruce found purpose and control in his grief, at a much greater capacity and intensity than what the average person might, thus creating the persona of the Batman as a way of avoiding and eliminating that feeling of helplessness. He extended that to Dick, who he essentially latched onto as a companion who knew what that helplessness was like.

Any psychological analysis of Batman (and Dick Grayson) would need an entire separate post, so this is where I’ll end it. When I first read Grimm a long time ago, I was especially stricken by the implication of Bruce believing that he was using Dick as both punishment for himself and compensation for living on while his parents were dead. It was nice for both Dick and Bruce to have that affirmation where their relationship was ultimately one born from compassion.

(Of course, as the years have passed, their relationship has taken on new strains, but it’s all the more tragic when remembering where they began.)

#dick grayson #batman #bruce wayne #robin #dc #dc comics #it’s an angle that’s been explored in other stuff #but i felt that this story was able to get the necessary messages across #without spending too much time on it #bruce’s and dick’s relationship in all of its complexities breaks my heart #and when you see how much they’ve changed since the beginning of their partnership #that’s when you understand the vicious cycle #on dick’s part it’s both salvation and condemnation #they are a part of each other and always will be #for better or for worse

[justaboutsnapped]

every so often i have the same epiphany about how i like nico rosberg so much because i am personality wise the same as his 2016 self except less outwardly-obvious

#like yeah i AM taut as a wire and hyper-conscious about every little thing and greet it with disproportionate seriousness #aka overreact to it (albeit internal for me) and reenter a vicious cycle of self doubt self hatred #it's the simultaneous god/victim complex fr fr #i have talked to my uni friends (ha as if i have other friends) abt this but i was convinced for a year that they all secretly despise me #when lewis said both nico and i can count the friends we have on one hand yada yada nico only has 5 friends or whatever i felt that #i should see a therapist because i've reached the point where seeing anything impressive related to my future profession triggers panic #but oh well

[moodr1ng]

listen im not talking about the One Kid Whos Cringe About It specifically bc who cares but in a more general way whats going on w the brazen entitlement to getting interaction with your art on tumblr.. ive been sharing art on my art blog for 8 years, never got to 1k followers, vast majority of my art gets less than 50 notes and frankly a lot of it doesnt get to 10 notes. i dont throw a fit abt it lol.. part of it is luck (and having more popular mutuals/followers) part of it is the effort i put into properly marketing my art (which is.. not much) part of it is just im not making stuff that a lot of people are interested in. sure it gets depressing sometimes but also the earlier one can accept that sometimes no one but you is gonna give a shit and youre still gonna put in the work because YOU give a shit the earlier you can move on from paralyzing angst about not getting enough attention and just make the art you wanna make yknow?

ig what rly scares me abt that attitude is the "i didnt spend (x amount of time/effort) on this for (x subpar amount of notes)!!" cause like. ideally you wouldnt be making art FOR notes on tumblr in the first place?

#97 #sometimes its also crazy to me to see artists whine about 'only' getting the amount of notes that id usually consider a win #(eg: if i get more than 25 notes lol) #it makes me think abt.. how when you do get social media engagement and you rly rly care abt that it becomes kind of a vicious cycle? #bc the numbers youre used to getting become 'normal' and less than that becomes like a betrayal from others not giving you enough etc #im here like well alright my piece got 7 likes. taking the l moving on yknow. #and part of that ik from personal experience bc i did fanart as a teen #and fanart always always always does way better than original art #so i was used to hundreds or thousands of notes and my stuff being reposted on pinterest ifunny etc etc #i was used to attention! and it did not feel special at all. #today when my oc art gets like 200 notes im so amazed but it was v routine to me 10 years ago when i made fanart. #the numbers are never enough! start loving your art for itself!!

[artemisiatridentata]

i got less than 1 hour of work done today (was aiming for 5-6) because I was too stressed out and frazzled from reading about/watching the ongoing genocide and also because roommate #2 came home today from their holiday travels and all day I could hear them hacking up their lungs through the wall. I texted them and asked if they minded taking a covid test, and they said they'd taken multiple over the past 24 hours and all were negative, but like. with the amount of false negatives on the rapid tests these days, even when people are symptomatic, that does NOT reassure me!! I've been holed up in my room with a flannel stuffed in the door crack, air filters blasting, wearing an N95 in common areas, but jesus fucking christ this is taking all my ability to focus and leaving none left over for my job. that i need to do. because i am precariously poor. and i need to buy food so i can eat. and pay rent so that i don't freeze to death. and pay for my medical and phone and other bills. etc.

#god im so stressed #fucking everyone has covid rn it's terrifying i really hope i can get through this surge unscathed #inshallah.... #i booked a study room at the library tomorrow! if it's approved fingers crossed im gonna bring my portable HEPA filter and some work stuff #and hopefully be able to concentrate better and get work done #god and i NEED to work on my grad school apps but how the fuck am i supposed to concentrate on that #the world is burning i see videos of genocide every day my roommates and coworkers constantly have the plague #and im so broke im always just barely scraping by and my only hope of upward mobility is grad school #talk about a vicious fucking cycle fr #personal #god whatever #i just remembered i have ice cream in the freezer! i think i'll have a bit of that n watch a dumb tv show