#I was just worried abt everything but i at least knew what the fuck I was feeling and had resolved to just be open about it all and I did it

[exopelagic]

one day I’ll stop vagueposting abt The Guy but that day is not today

#combination of him being weird again today and finding the notes I wrote when it was happening #i went and sat with our mutual friend before a meeting earlier which was fine #and then when I leave I see him on the other side of this divider thing just out the corner of my eye #so he was definitely avoiding me! I now have confirmation bc he’d been with other friend during the class before #and if it was anyone else I know for sure he would’ve said hi to her #banking on plausible deniability bc I walked pretty quick and didn’t turn around it’s not unreasonable to assume I didn’t see him #but I KNOW those two talked abt it afterwards #if she brings it up tonight in front of everyone I’m going to kill her <3 #anyway I found the notes I’d written out for myself back then bc I was having trouble sorting through my thoughts more than usual #and they helped me organise what I was thinking and come to some kinda resolution on my own bc he was giving me nothing <3 #and it’s. I said this to topsy the other day but it approaches caricature #I’d forgotten how concretely bad it was #like he turned me into his science experiment bc he was scared of liking someone #(specifically a guy but that’s a dimension we’re not getting into that) #I’d forgotten abt how he was testing me constantly in like. not an overt way #but he clearly either thought he was way better at subtlety than he was or he severely underestimated me. probably both #and despite me going a little insane over him I was in fact being mostly sane! I had some level of emotional maturity going on there! #I was just worried abt everything but i at least knew what the fuck I was feeling and had resolved to just be open about it all and I did it #there is genuinely a bit in there abt how I wanted to apologise for how I would sometimes get distracted when he was talking bc he was cute #I wanted to apologise abt being awkward being thrown in unexpectedly to meet everyone he’d ever talked to #where I wrote abt how I’m learning from my mistakes and I know what the problem was now #dude???? you have anxiety???? this is how that works???? #these are not the worst examples I just cba to dig back through that note it’s so long #anyway mr guy you are annoying as fuck pls get your shit together #this was all meant to be over if he could like maybe make up his mind on following me vs avoiding me that’d be great <3 #luke.txt

[shady-lemur]

here’s a part 2 to abby and the red bikini! it’s a little bit rushed but i wanted to get it done before my classes and work consume me. thank you for the love on the last part! it always makes me nervous making smut 😓😓

first part

it’s been a week since that night with abby. you haven’t been able to look your boyfriend in the eye, let alone have any form of intimacy. you haven’t fucked, cuddled, kissed, hugged, or held hands and you knew it was killing manny. he thought it was something he did.

but tonight he asked you to come out with him to a few bars, so here you were. you’re sitting awkwardly in a sit at a high top table with manny, owen, and abby… of course they’re here.

you keep looking at abby, trying to wordlessly tell her “hey!! ever since i had sex with you i can’t even look at my boyfriend and everytime i look at you my face heats up and i can’t be this anymore!!” but she refused to meet your eyes. you didn’t fail to notice how good she looked, a loose black tee with a cargo skirt and her black combat boots. of course her hair was in a braid and she had neat black eyeliner pulled out into wings.

you nervously nurse your drink as they converse about the baseball game on the bar tv. how the fuck could abby be so calm and collected about everything?? after a few more minutes of trying to get her attention you pull your phone out.

(you pink, abby purple.)

we need to talk!!!!!!

What’s there to talk about?

omfg

maybe you’re okay just lying to yourself and everyone around you but i’m not. i can’t do that to manny.

You can’t tell Manny. He’ll never talk to either of us again.

that’s so fucking selfish abby.

we fucked up. and what abt owen? are you okay just acting like you didn’t have sex with someone else?

Yep.

jesus fucking christ.

i can’t believe i messed everything up with manny for u. you’re a fucking coward and a terrible friend.

you turn your phone on silent and put it back in your pocket. your face is heated with anger. abby finally looks at you but it’s a new expression. she’s upset and fucking angry, and it’s all directed at you. you roll your eyes at her scowl and turn to manny, tapping his shoulder. he turns around with a slightly worried expression on his face.

“sorry babe. i’m gonna go home i think.. my stomach hurts super bad and i’m started to get a headache.”

he puts his hand on your forehead to feel your temperature and nods. “let me drive you home.. it feels like you’re heating up and-“

“i’ll just uber. have a goodnight with your friends and i’ll text you when i get home.” you have to physically force yourself to kiss his temple and wave at the other two at the table before grabbing your bag and basically running out of the bar. you order an uber and sit at one of the benches near by until the car pulls up in front of you to take you home.

————————————————————————-

last night when you got home from the bar you cried a little bit, drank a lot, and crashed on your couch. this morning you’re regretting every decision you’ve ever made. you couldn’t keep lying to manny like this. you were making yourself sick. and the thought of abby being completely fine keeping this a secret even more sick.

so you decide to call the only other person who knows other than you and abby.

“dee!! i need help.. can you talk?” you basically yell through the phone right when dina answers your facetime.

“what’s up baby? i have like 20 minutes before i need to go pick jj up.” concern is written all over her face as she takes in your hungover tear stained face. you can tell she’s meal prepping.

“last night i saw abby again and she seriously wants to just act like nothing ever happened. like she doesn’t want to tell manny.”

dina frowns at the camera. “y/nn! you know you have to tell him. you fuck up and the only way to get some peace with the situation is to talk to him.” you buried your head into your pillow and shake it. “i’m so stupid!!!!!!”

dina nods as she cuts carrots into jj bite sizes.

“but abby’s stupider. at least tell manny that you cheated, you don’t even have to mention abby.”

you look at the phone and nod. “yeah.. you’re right. i’ll talk to him.”

“mkay babe. i love you, even if your stupid!”

you blow her a kiss before hanging up and texting manny to ask to meet up.

less than 15 minutes later you’re sitting at a table in a cafe waiting for your boyfriend.

“hey.” you hear him as he pulls up a chair across from you and smiles. you give him a sad smile and hand him his coffee order. “thank you love.” you must’ve cringed at the nickname.. you used to love when he called you that.

“manny.. i have to tell you something.” his face slightly drops at your words. he motions for you to go on.

“shit.. a couple nights ago i had sex with someone else.. i’m so fucking sorry.” you feel the tears forming when you look at manny’s disappointed face. he looks like he’s about to start to cry too.

“fuck, y/n”

you look at him. “i love you manny. i never didn’t love you. i never deserved you though. you should be with someone better.”

“i do. i don’t think i can do this anymore,” he scoffs, “i can’t believe i was ring shopping just the other day and now we’re here.” your eyes widen and your tears start to fall. seeing the damage you caused made you feel like you were dying a slow and painful death.

“i’m so sorry. you deserve everything and more. thank you so much for being so good to me.”

he nods slowly and looks down at his drink. “i’ll text you about getting your stuff from my apartment.” then he’s gonna before you can say anything else, leaving you a sobbing mess in a small coffee shop. the barista even ends up giving you a free croissant because “it looks like you need it..” and you did. you also needed a few shots in your system right about now.

————————————————————————-

it’s been about 3 month since your breakup. you and manny were somewhat civil, you still followed each other on instagram, and hookuped a few times (womp womp we’ve all been there don’t judge them!!)

but you were really getting your life together!! you baked dessert way to often, you babysat jj way more than dina needed you to because how could you not!! you started exploring your sexuality more, and stopped drinking so much.. it was starting to be a problem. and you haven’t thought of abby for weeks! except for a couple nights ago, and a few night before that, and maybe and few nights before that night!

you were doing great!! totally not thinking about your ex’s roommate/best friend!! never!!

you’re baking an apple pie when there’s a frantic knock at your door. you rush over to look in your peep hole first because living alone is scary and frantic knocks are scaring. imagine your surprise when you see the one and only abby anderson!!! she’s sweaty and has a conflicted expression on her face, she fidgets with her hands nervously.

you open the door in your cute apron and baby blue long sleeved shirt with some plain jeans. you have flour all over yourself. “um.. hi..?”

abby’s face goes pink at your domestic state and clears her throat before looking you in the eyes. “i broke up with owen. manny knows everything. i can’t stop thinking about you.. fuck.”

you stand shocked for a second before finally responding. “you’re serious..?”

she nods, “i think i wanna be with you.”

you look at her in shock again before she slams her lips into yours, you immediately melt into the kiss. you pull her closer by her shirt and whine. she bites your lip softly and brings her hands to your waist, pushing you into your apartment as you laugh into the kiss. you pull away to close your apartment door and shake your head playfully at her, “we’re so fucking stupid.”

abby nods, “the stupidest.” she says before lifting you up so you can wrap your legs around her waist and carried you to your bed.

————————————————————————-

@ang3lzl0v3 here’s part two bb 🫶🏻 i hope you like it

#tlou part 2 #tlou fic #abby anderson #abby tlou #tlou smut #abby x fem!reader

[loversj0y]

for the Wilbur Drabble Taylor swift thing can you PLEASE DO DELICATE

delicate

event masterlist

pairing: wilbur soot x gn! streamer! reader

tw: slight agoraphobia, bars, drinking, insecurities

notes: sorry abt the delays and stuff! love this song so fuucking much i <3333 this was my most listened to song last year

word count: 1.9k

taglist: @l0veb0mb1ng / @core-queen / @zooone / @lillylvjy / @melunnek

It was almost a sick kind of amusing how easily words could be twisted. Within a week, you felt like you’d gone from the top of the world to the bottom of the barrel, when a stream clip of you talking about a fellow streamer got twisted into what felt like the whole world turning against you. It was stupid. You hated him for valid reasons, but you didn’t actually say anything, people just took things too far and now, even when you tried to clarify things, it only got worse. You watched with horrified eyes as friends turned their back on you, saying the worst fucking things about how you were a liar and a snake, over a stream clip taken out of context.

You wanted to hide. Entirely. Even knowing that you were only a Twitch Streamer, not some big time celebrity, it felt like every time you left the house you could feel people’s glares and angry stares (despite the fact that it was mostly in your head). Leaving your house became a stressful ordeal.

So you did hide. You stopped streaming and making content, except for all the ideas you wrote down because your brain was so wired for it at this point. But your dark bedroom became a sacred place, the only place you truly felt safe. 

It was pretty late, nearing midnight when your phone buzzed on your nightstand, the screen lighting up the room. 

‘hey, where are you?’ was all the text read. It was from Wilbur. You honestly barely even knew him a few months ago, but he somehow became your best friend. He stuck by you even despite what everyone said about you online, and you honestly questioned if he knew what happened. 

‘Hiding again :(‘ You texted back simply.

He sent you his location, and you looked to check what it was. It was a shady dive bar on the outer part of town, away from most people. 

‘I will literally pay for your uber. You need to leave your house and this place is really cool.’

You debated it for a long moment. You didn’t look perfect right now, but if you tossed on a better pair of pants and a jacket, you could fix up everything else easily. And it would be nice to get out of your house for at least a bit, even if the thought gave you anxiety.

‘Be there soon.’ You texted him after a few minutes of deliberation, standing slowly. You got dressed quickly and called an Uber, waiting for it to be outside before you actually left out your front door. The entire drive over mostly consisted of your fingers nervously drumming on your leg as anxiety filled you more and more. 

By the time you arrived, you had half a mind to just ask the Uber to turn back around. But you already told Wilbur you’d be here, so you got out of the car and headed inside. It was a nice place, you did have to hand it to Wilbur. The front was primarily open, a patio with people chatting freely among themselves. None of them spared you a glance as you headed towards the main entrance, and you felt grateful for it. When you did walk in, a few heads turned, and your anxiety grew. After a moment of searching the slight crowd, you spotted Wilbur in the back, sitting at a two top alone. You smiled softly and waved as you started walking towards him. 

He stood, coming up and giving you a hug, “You made it! I was getting a little worried you’d ditch.”

“I almost did,” you admitted softly, hugging him back, “But I think my Uber driver was getting pissed at my finger tapping, honestly.”

He laughed, sitting back down. You sat down across from him, smiling at him. He looked really nice, a blue vintage Nike jumper matched with a pair of dark jeans. The thing about Wilbur having stuck by you when no one else really did, was it lead to a fast development. The feelings you had for him went from friendly to romantic at some point, and although you couldn’t pinpoint when, it happened almost all at once and quickly. But you found yourself oddly content with it, the anxiety in your brain focused too much on your online life to focus on how you felt about a crush. It didn’t mean you weren’t nervous, but it was much more subdued when your mind was preoccupied with so much else.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t,” he smiled, “has it been bad today?” “Eh,” you shrugged, “Not any worse than the rest of the days, I guess.”

He nodded, “Every day it isn’t worse is progress, I’d say.”

You nodded, quietly taking a moment to look around the room. It had gotten busier, but it wasn’t overwhelming yet, especially with no one looking in your direction. You turned back to him, fiddling with the chipping paint at the edge of the table. 

“Are you not worried?” You asked him, avoiding eye contact, “To be seen with me?”

He gave you a funny look, shrugging, “Honestly? I don’t give a shit. Isn’t it enough for me to know you and like you?”

You peered up at him, a soft flush covering your cheeks, “Yeah, I just mean like… I don’t want you to get into hot water for being seen with me.”

“Let them say what they want about me. I don’t do enough on the internet these days to even cause much talk anyways.” He smiled.

His smile brought a smile out of you, “If you’re sure.”

“Oh, trust me,” he chuckled, “I’m very sure.”

The majority of the night was fine, a few drinks keeping the conversation light. Wilbur did a fantastic job of keeping your paranoia at bay, for the most part. As the bar got a bit more full, it was inevitable for people to look at you both, and it became all too much when a couple gave you both several glances. Wilbur caught onto your growing paranoia, and he reached over, gently touching your arm. 

“Hey, let’s get out of here. We can head to mind, if you want?”

You nodded, and in your slight panic, you took his hand into yours, holding onto him for support. He led you outside, hailing a cab. 

He moved his hand to your back, rubbing it gently. “It’s alright,” he murmured, “You’re okay, alright?” You nodded, leaning into his touch, “Yeah, sorry, there were just a lot of people, and I just… yeah.” 

“I know, it’s alright,” he smiled, pulling you in closer to him. He was warm, and you felt yourself leaning in to his side. He moved his arm, and you almost moved away from him, but instead he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer while you waited for the cab. He gave you a gentle smile, and you found yourself flushing under his attention. When the cab pulled up, he opened the door for you and ushered you in first, a hand gently staying on your back to remind you that you were safe, and that he was there. He got in, keeping you close, and he told the driver his address. 

The drive was quiet and nice, staring at the city as it passed quietly. Your hand rested on the middle seat, and after a moment, you felt Wilbur’s hand gently rest on top of yours. Without turning your head, you turned your hand slowly, lacing your fingers together. He gently squeezed your hand, and you returned the gesture, a soft smile brushing onto your face. 

Once the cab pulled up to Wilbur’s apartment building, Wilbur carefully got out of the car, never releasing your hand the entire process, even as you both walked upstairs. You were almost scared to speak, the entire environment felt delicate, like if you spoke, he’d pull his hand away and be added to the long list of betrayers in your life. You wanted to say something, to admit how he’s occupied a permanent home in your mind, but the cold air of the apartment lobby didn’t seem like the home for that conversation.

You took the elevator to the third floor, getting a bit closer to Wilbur and leaning your head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head ever so gently before the elevator arrived, and he walked you to his apartment. When you walked in, neither of you wanted to pull your hands away, so he gently moved you both to sit on the couch.

You looked up at him, and he met your gaze. You got lost in his eyes immediately, pretending you were actually his. Fuck, you liked him much more than you thought.

You didn’t want to speak up. You had to, because for once, it felt like maybe there was someone who liked you for you, and you couldn’t bear to get your hopes up only for it to fall through. But there was something your brain seemed more inclined to do first.

“Wilbur,” you started softly. Your faces were incredibly close now, and you could feel his breath against your face, “Can I kiss you?”

He nodded quickly, hand gently moving to rest on your cheek. He leaned in, and you met his lips, kissing him gently. Your hands went to rest on his shoulders, and his hand gently cupped the back of your head, not forcefully, just lightly threading his fingers into your hair. The kiss was gentle, yet full of passion and longing.

When you pulled away, your foreheads rested together for a few moments as you sat there quietly, processing how to speak up.

“I like you,” you spoke softly, “I- I know that’s probably obvious, but… even despite everything, you’ve stuck by me even though my reputation has literally never been worse, and I’ve been trying hard to seem composed and put together around you,” you started rambling as you continued, pulling away slightly so you were actually facing each other now, “but you’re on my mind a lot more than I should probably admit, and our friendship is already pretty delicate, so I’m honestly a bit terrified to have even brought this up, but I just really-”

“Hey,” Wilbur interrupted, chuckling softly, “take a breath. Relax. This is going better than your mind is probably telling you right now.”

You nodded softly, taking a breath slowly. “I just- I really like you. Is it cool that I said all that?”

He smiled softly, bringing a hand forward and brushing a strand behind your ear, “Yeah, it is. Because I really like you too. I don’t give a fuck what people say about you, honestly. I like you for you. You’re gorgeous, and smart, and you’re way funnier than you give yourself credit for.” 

You flushed softly, taking his hand in yours once again as you thought for a moment, “Life is crazy, so, I know we can’t make any promises now or anything but… you know what you can make?”

He grinned, chuckled softly, “What is that?”

“You can make me a drink.”

He laughed, head falling back, before looking back at you with the most adoring eyes, “See. Funnier than you give yourself credit for.” He smiled and stood, kissing your forehead, “I’ll go get you that drink.”

You grinned back at him, and as you heard echoes of his footsteps, you relaxed and let out a breath, knowing that as delicate as everything is, you at least didn’t have to pretend he was yours anymore. 

#mar's 200 follower event #mar writes #wilbur soot x reader #mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #wilbur x reader #wilbur soot #wilbur soot x you #wilbur x y/n #wilbur #wilbur soot fluff #mcyt fanfiction

[salon-maiden-anabel]

the more i think about your mom lucy hc, the more i really adore it. if you don't mind me asking questions about it, what's her general dynamic with kieran & carmine? is she a single mom? how does dahlia fit into the picture?

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO MY BRAINS BEEN. TRYING . the thoughts are disconnected but by god there are thoughts everything below the readmore

But! Hi hello welcome to Oh lord this family needs therapy and counselling . ! Honestly I have been going into everything with the idea of her being a single mom w/ them! It;s very much a situation of like.... Parent that works away from home constantly, so the relationship is just unfortunately naturally more strained kinda thing .

With all this i go with like.... The idea that they were very much born in Hoenn and lived there with Lucy until Carmine was approximately 9 or so, and Kieran was 7 [I do like to imagine they're 16 and 14 respectively as of the dlcs]. Work being so remote and stuff plus worrying about their education and all just led to living with their grandparents in Kitakami being the best decision for their development as yknow, People. I like to imagine Lucy visits periodically throughout the year and such to check in :> just takes a bit of coordinating. Also shes absolutely the reason they're able to go to blueberry for highschool via both making sure they Can go there financially and putting a word in to a battle focused school of them being kids of a facility head :p even if realistically Lucy isnt the strongest head by any means lol . it's kinda like if an E4 member put a good word in situation. And we can see with Lacey and Drayton both going there... gestures. I wouldnt be surprised if more children of different league figures go to it or schools LIKE it. But thats besides the point Lucy absolutely like, struggles with her emotions and such. Even from the small bits of dialogue we have from her? Maybe its just my autistic ass reading too much into it LMAO but . gestures .

i feel like if this werent a kids game she'd just tell you to fuck off to your face here

sorry just more quick looking too much into dialogue but. cmon. CMON. ...She's . definitely influenced how carmine and kieran act at least somewhat .

Carmine might be the easiest to point a finger to as being like her mom but i genuinely think that it;s actually Kieran who ended up the most Like her, yknow it;s incredibly obvious to point a finger at Kieran during indigo disk and how he talks as being her fault a little bit :p anyways thats just me vaguely mumbling abt that. AS FOR. DYNAMICS. Kieran isnt as close to his mom as Carmine is just due to everything with living with their grandparents. Theres also absolutely like.... Very much a gap because he stopped seeing her as much when he was younger, while Carmine was only a year off of being like. Legally start being a pokemon trainer age. And its just Awkward, relation wise, just because of how little she actually sees them through the years, especially when the discussion would slowly shift to more "How are your studies?" "How are you doing in school?" "How is your pokemon training going?" once they start going to blueberry. Which i don't think was ment to come off as uncaring for them and only focusing on training as it did from Lucy's end, but I dont really think she knew what else to ask and all, because she stopped being able to really pick up on their interests as much as they got older. Plus thats just kinda How she talks... With the importance on strength and luck n all that. Then with all this I imagine she like. Probably only called once maybe twice between the dlc plots n all? And once again with just mainly the training questions it was just a sour spot. I wouldn't doubt Kieran would also struggle with not wanting to be in a shadow/the nepo baby accusations /j that I fully think if Drayton knows about he'd tease him and Carmine about. So like. All that with the instilled importance of ones strength :sob: Lucy you were not helping the Kieran situation. Hell I don't really think she would of even known about anything going down between Kitakami to Blueberry with Kieran just because neither of them wanted to tell her at all? Because again just that Awkward connection between them, just the permanent fog on all communication that feels like someone said something wrong at all times and it got too awkward to finish. IDK I think im waffling on I don't know how to formulate my thoughts the best LMFAO BUT I THINK... DYNAMICS WOULD CHANGE POST-MOCHI MAYHEM ESP. Bc i KNOW she'd find out after carmine and kieran nearly fucking DIE in the underdepths and everything hits her in the back of her head at once that she needs to repair what she can w/ them because she almost lost them. Probably means taking an extended leave from working at the Pike so she doesn't have to worry about scheduling to see them in person for only a short period of time. Especially if the times line up for them having any extended break from school . It's never going to be perfect, far from it, with their dynamics and all but. gestures. Briar needs to sleep with one eye open for a bit at least. in short

AS FOR. DAHLIA im in turbo hell because I can not see? the siblings ending up like they did if she was also around? Shes such a force of positivity as a person im just. blinks a bit. Im in hell bc i adore the ship as my big rarepair ill die on a hill for but nobody expected the kitakami siblings especially not me so . i think if they ever do get together it'd be somewhere nearer to scarvio era which just. yeah. see image below

#talk tag #asks #juniverse tag #sorry this is like all over the place i can Not keep my thoughts in one solid piece

[daily-crowley]

TELL ME ABT YOUR OTHER HYPERFIXATIONS!! Mine are currently Loki, ofmd, good omens, and Hozier :D

THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG!

There’s a few hyperfixations of mine I’m always talking about but right now there’s 3 main ones.

1. The Boys

2. Invincible

3. Peacemaker

The Boys is the main one; I loved it since it came out back in 2019. I moved on sometime after S3 ended and I found another hyperfixation but now new content is coming out with S4 so I’m back on my The Boys bullshit. I’m a Butchlander shipper, BILLY BUTCHER AND HOMELANDER CONSUME MY THOUGHTS. I AM BEYOND OBSESSED WITH THOSE TWO! I need them to kiss…. And-and more. Anthony Starr and Karl Urban are my current celebrity crushes that I’m only able to think about. If you follow me in insta it’s just been The Boys 24/7 that I’ve talked about since new content started dropping thanks to S4. HOMELANDER IS MY BABYGIRL I WILL DEFEND HIM I DON’T CARE FOR HIS CRIMES I DON’T CARE IF I’M SUPPOSE TO HATE HIM, I LOVE HIM. BILLY BUTCHER MY GOTH BOYFRIEND I WILL DIE IF YOU DIE. HE CANT DIE, HE JUST CAN’T. S4 teaser was insane, so much was going on, Black Noir is back?! And Jeffrey Dean Morgan is joining the cast! AND TEAMING UP WITH BUTCHER?! They said that trailer was just a scratch on the surface of what happens, wasn’t even a trailer just a teaser but it had so much going on WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’T JUST A SMALL TASTE OF S4?! I’m scared but excited. I’m nervous but excited (Billy if you fucking die on me- that’s what I’m most worried about)

Invincible is my other current hyperfixation, S1 was so good and I can’t wait for S2 to continue. They should’ve dropped all the episodes at once that way I don’t have to wait but whatever. Vigilante is my little meow meow from Peacemaker. I love Adrian so much, hate that I gotta wait till like 2025-2026 for S2 possibly.

My other interests that I talk about all the time (not currently much though thanks to The Boys) are:

• NATM/JedTavius

• Venom/SymBrock

• SamBucky/Marvel in general

• FNAF

• Who Framed Roger Rabbit

• Maleficent

• The Simpsons

Night at The Museum came out when I was 7, I’m 24 now, I haven’t moved on. It was my first hyperfixation and ship before I even knew what that all meant. I’ve written like 30 JedTavius fics. I’m a Venom fan first and a Spider-Man hater second. I will defend Venom at all times and Eddie and him are definitely in love. When the FNAF film came out it brought me back to my FNAF phase, Foxy’s my favourite with Bonnie being second. I watched the film about 20 times. Then in November I started a personal rewatch challenge on Insta where I watched it all month long. Meaning I’ve probably watched it at least 50 times and I still haven’t gotten sick of it (also I love the Josh Hutcherson whistle meme. I don’t care how much people hate it I think it’s funny.) I’m a huge Marvel fan, I literally grew up with the comics, I’m not kidding those were read to me as my bedtime stories. My favourite characters are Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes as a result I ship them. I never shipped Stucky, that never made sense to me whilst Sam and Bucky have so much chemistry. Sam Wilson is everything to me, I adore SamCap he’s MY Captain America (still love Steve though!) Roger Rabbit is my favourite fictional character of all time, my biggest comfort character. Growing up I really tried to base my personality off of him, the world might be obsessed with Jessica Rabbit but I’m obsessed with Roger. People need to draw, edit, and cosplay him as much as they do Jessica. I’ve been a huge Simpsons fan since I was like 10 and my mother dropped me off at my aunts house and she left leaving me alone with my cousin who was watching The Simpsons and it took off from there. Nelson Muntz is my funky little son and they need to make Nelisa canon. Maleficent is my favourite Disney character (actually like quite a bit of Disney, second favourite character being Donald Duck) I based a lot of my style around her, and I have a lot of Maleficent collectibles. I absolutely love the Angelina Jolie’s Maleficent films (totally ship her with Diaval).

There’s a few other things that I really, really love. I’m also a huge horror fan my favourite being Chucky/Child’s Play as well as Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (not 3D), Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, etc. Sanrio, Kuromi is my favourite second is Pochacco, I really love animated films and cartoons. IT, Monster High, and more. I’m also a collector of all these things.

So there you have it. Those are all my hyperfixation and fandom’s that I’m in. Right now especially those first 3 that I talked about (seriously can you tell I really like The Boys? Lol)

#got a little carried away at the end there and started talking about some other stuff that I love #you probably know a lot more about me than you wanted to I’m not sorry

[llyncooljones]

call me sir - twelve days of rowaelin '22.

ao3 || masterlist || twelve days of rowaelin ‘22 masterlist

prompt: christmas activity gone wrong. series: part two to who is he? word count: 1300 trigger warnings: language, smut, sexting tag list: @live-the-fangirl-life @rowaelinismyotp  @fireheartwhitethorn4ever @elentiyawhitethorn @rowanaelinn @autumnbabylon @leiawritesstories @backtobl4ck  @letstakethedawn @rowaelinscourt

hi.

this is aelin. galathynius.

from the xmas fair. last week, at the weekend. and you overheard me, and i bumped into you?

Hi.

This is Rowan.

From the Christmas Fair. And I knew it was you, you’re literally the only person I’ve given my number to in the last year. Plus, I don’t know many Aelins. No need for awkward introductions—a pet peeve of mine.

well, good to know you gave me the right number, lol. was kinda worrying abt it. couldn’t believe you’d actually wanna get to know someone who was plotting an entire book to have an excuse to go up to you.

figured you might like brave girls, or some shit.

Not to be crude, but I do believe that openly, and really quite loudly, discussing the frequency and quality of dick you and your friend were getting was quite brave. As was discussing the size of my dick, and my possible friend’s dick sizes.

I don’t know anyone else who’s quite brave enough to do such a thing.

You have that going for yourself.

what i’m hearing is that you do like brave girls.

what does ‘at least you’ve got that going for yourself’ mean? i’ve got tons going for me.

No. I like girls with blonde hair, the most unique eyes I’ve ever had the pleasure of staring into, who come up to my chin. And for the record, you’ve got everything going for yourself. You are singlehandedly just everything.

Don’t go fishing for compliments. I know that you know that you’re fucking gorgeous. Don’t play games with me—I won’t play nice, nor fair.

i’ve come to realise you won't play nice or fair.

i’ve now learnt my lesson, teach.

and thank you for the compliments.

i get off on them.

If I’m going to be your teacher, and I’m going to have to teach you your lesson, you will refer to me as ‘sir’. That is, if you’re game?

I could have sworn it was big men, big hands, and big dicks you got off on. Not compliments. correct me if wrong of course.

maybe you will have to teach me my lesson. sir.

and of fucking course i’m game, didn’t you overhear me saying that i was a spoilt rich girl with a secretly traumatic past. if that means anything, sir, it means i’ve been having teacher x student fantasies since i was fifteen. sir.

i get off on all sorts of things—part of being a spoilt rich girl with a secretly traumatic past. we always have the craziest kinks. compliments and praise because my parents neglected me. similarly, some sort of teacher fetish. big men, big hands, big dicks—because we feel like they can protect us, keep us safe, complete us, which has previously never been felt by us before.

and so many more—you’ve barely scratched the surface, sir.

I can hear your evil laughter, Aelin, and I’ve never heard you laugh.

I’m always up for being your senior-year English teacher, call me Mr Whitethorn.

And trust me, I look forward to diving into the very depths of your sexual deviancy.

mr whitethorn. i like it.

you would’ve been a hit at my high school—so many spoilt rich girls with secretly traumatic pasts.

and, sir, it makes me wet when you use phrases like ‘sexual deviancy’

It gets me fucking rock hard when you call me Sir, or Mr Whitethorn. you have no idea how so.

in that case…

mr whitethorn? what’s today’s lesson on?

I think apt place to begin your education, would be with one’s own pleasure. In my experience, people put so much pressure on the idea of perfection when it comes to sex, and such acts between two people. So much so that the pleasure is slowly stripped away, and replaced with worries that won’t stop, creating a wall between yourself, and your pleasure.

Today, I’m going to focus our lesson on touch yourself, Aelin.

and what are you going to teach me, that i don’t already know? I’m in my twenties, I’ve gone to college, and i’ve been coming by my own fingers since i was fifteen. (clearly there is a correlation between teachers and me coming)

plus, and I mean this with the utmost respect, what are you—a man—going to me—a woman—about my body—a woman’s body—mr whitethorn.

If you want to doubt me, go right ahead, but know Miss Galathynius, it’s not what I can teach you, it’s what I can do to you.

I recall my language making you wet, I can’t teach you that. I can do it to you though, I can make you wet when I use long, sophisticated words, confuse you a little. Make you feel both insecure, and so very, very safe. I can manipulate your body simply with typed words.

You’d do well to remember that.

sir?

mr whitethorn?

excuse me, i’m texting you. where the fuck are you? are you fucking kidding me, right now?

Are you ready to apologise, Miss Galathynius?

for fucking what? get real.

For making assumptions about me. You seem to be under the impression that you can get away with being rude to me. You can’t, I’m unlike any teacher you’ve encountered before.

And you ‘get real’, Miss Galathynius. You can try and convince yourself that you aren’t soaking through your panties, you’re so turned on. But I know you are. You can tell yourself you aren’t going to touch yourself when you set down your phone. But I know you are.

I’ll make a deal with you, Miss Galathynius, if you message me how wet you are, and whether or not your fingers are too, I’ll continue the lesson. We’ll forget all about the fact that you swore at me no less, and that you were insolent and bratty, and you can come as many times as want during this text chain, but not afterwards.

You understand?

yes, sir.

my panties are so wet, my skirt is too.

and my fingers are fucking coated.

Take your panties off.

In fact, Miss Galathynius, get naked. Lock the door. Get comfortable. Tell me, ‘yes, Sir’ when you’re done.

yes, sir.

Put your fingers—the wet ones, before you ask—in your mouth. Fucking suck on them.

Have you got your fingers in your mouth, can you taste yourself? Fucking wish I could taste you.

yes.

what about you, sir?

You can bet your life on the fact that I’m touching myself.

That got you hotter, wetter. More desperate. Want me there, don’t you? I want you here.

im close. keep telling me what ur gonna do

You want to know what I’d do to you if I had you in my bed? I’d strip you, peel away every scrap of clothing you had on, until I could see every inch of your skin, until I can mark out every blemish with bite marks.

I’d bite your nipples, soothe them with my tongue, and then I’d bite them harder. Harder until you’re screaming, and I won’t know if it’s in pain or pleasure. Maybe I’d make them bleed. All depends on whether or not you were a good girl.

It would have got you wet, you’d be dripping all over my sheets. Your cunt would be throbbing it’d be so desperate for me. I’d treat it to a lick, lave my tongue over your clit, edging you towards your orgasm. When you’re right there I’d slide a finger in, tease you from the inside, and give you the best orgasm of your life.

And then I’d do it all over again.

holy fuck. oh fuck, i just came so hard.

fucking what?

i literally messaged you to ask if you wanted to grab a hot chocolate or something or see if you were available for a date or something. pre-dorian’s party.

And instead, you got this, huh? Regretting it, yet?

that was arguably the best orgasm i’ve ever had—and we’re in different postcodes. so, no. and i don’t think i’ll ever regret this.

And I’d love to grab a drink with you.

#twelve days of rowaelin #12 days of rowaelin #rowaelin fic #rowaelin #llyncooljones' writing #my fic #my writing #my smut #tog #tog fic #throne of glass #throne of glass fic #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #wih? #who is he?

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry if this is weird to say but I really enjoy your vent art. I don't enjoy your suffering but every time you post vent art it's always so soft and god I missed you. I was horrified when you left, then you came back and I learned everything your abuser did, the whole time you were gone I was worried you died and I was just crying when you came back because I assumed you couldn't fight anymore. You're a fighter and it shows in your art. I'm sorry you feel so bad but Ken loves you, ok?

oh no i totally get it, that's not weird. that's very flattering. i used to make vent art much more often but after i came back from my unplanned 9-month hiatus i was like........ in such shambles i could not draw anything until Barbie breathed life back into me

im really touched that you missed me, even moreso that it had affected you so deeply. im sorry that i worried you. disappearing for 9 months was not supposed to happen. if i knew the person who claimed to be my best friend was going to cut off my other friends from me while i was unable to contact them, spread rumors when i was literally just sitting in a hospital bed and dying, tell other people on this hellsite when asked abt me and where i disappeared to, "oh keri is fine :) don't worry abt her", completely isolate me and track down where i work and call my workplace and demand i speak to her 24/7, attempt to track down where i live, asking my friends behind my back about my family's phone numbers, etc, jesus christ i wish i could go back in time and stop myself from ever interacting with that person. if i knew then what i know now i would have run for the hills

the last year and a half has been the Worst of my entire life. there are so many things behind closed doors i have not posted about, out of fear for my safety. there's so much shit you guys don't know. i'm scared and exhausted all the time.

but im finally at least at a point where im not isolated anymore, im socializing as often as i can, i'm self shipping again even if it's really really fucking hard sometimes, and i'm making baby steps to reclaim all of the characters/things that were turned into triggers. it feels so hopeless sometimes, like all the fighting i've done to escape/heal from my abuser doesn't feel worth it because i am so. tired. all. the time. and still facing unsafe situations regarding that whole goddamn thing. it's been over a year and it doesn't feel like i'm ever going to fully heal if i feel so on edge all the time. but messages like this always help me feel better. im sorry you've had to see my at my worst for so many months now

thank you for taking the time to send this, i appreciate you more than i can put into words rn. mentally giving you so many hugs. and hey, thank you for appreciating my vent art. if i don't draw out my feelings i think i'd go crazy haha, so i'm glad at least one person feels Something when looking at it, i'm glad it can give you some positive feelings. and thank you for missing me. even if you and i have never spoken one-on-one, you should know i missed you too. i missed all the positive connections i had with everyone and every single kind word in my inbox is refreshing and a reminder of that.

#anonymous #asks

[sso-montana]

Catherine lives! AU

Ok so I finally got around to write this thing so here you all go, more under the cut bc it kinda got long

Also if you want me to make a post specifically abt how Catherine being alive would impact the general story tell me and I'll make one for that, too ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Catherine always knew Montana was like her, even when she was little. At first she was hesitant to let Justin play and spend time with her but after seeing how good they got along and remembering how she never really had friends she decided to let them be.

Fast forward to Montana coming back to Jorvik and Catherine's motherly instincts I immediately kick in. Yes, she hasn't seen this girl in almost 8 years and she's grown up and changed so much. The Montana before her is so quiet and almost desperately tries to She's reminded so much of her younger self, of how lost and alone she felt and decides that she won't let this happen to another girl. Once Montana realizes she posses magic abilities and starts training with Ydris and a WIP oc of mine (it's a bit messy right now kay?) Catherine sits her down and tells her about how they're the same. Obviously Montana asks her for help and guidance, which Catherine immediately shuts down. Montanas initial reaction of anger and confusion leaves after Catherine explains that she no longer associates herself with magic, hasn't used it in years and never was that good at it. What Catherine can do though is make Montana aware of the dangers of magic, to tell her about her own mistakes, the Keepers and the Sisterhood.

And there are times when Catherine is almost scared of Montana. Because Montana isn't like her, isn't afraid to loose control. She's so full of anger and frustration and sadness right after loosing her parents and that paired with uncontrolled power is a dangerous combination. Montana isn't hurting others on accident but rather manages to keep injuring herself while learning. There are so many times she comes back to the stables and Justin and Montana sit in the saddle chamber putting creams on her arms and wrapping bandages around her hands because she burnt or cut herself. She's stubborn and impulsive and acts without thinking things through and clearly struggles with magic.

And yet she makes up for it with her sheer determination to learn, to master this power which allows her to protect what's left and Catherine can't help but be amazed at this young girl. They're the same and yet so completely different.

Of course as soon as Justin starts to get more involved with all the magic stuff Catherine is worried about him. It's not like she wasn't worried about Montana to begin with, but Justin is her son, her baby. It's the first time the two of them ever had a big argument since Justin never really fought with his mom. Even after they talk it out she's not happy with him joining Montana on trips. But after seeing his determination and desire to protect Mo, to be able to return the favor because she always protects them and he desperately wants to keep her safe, to make her understand she's not alone and doesn't have to do everything by herself, even if at times it scares him, Catherine gives in. At least she has the comfort of knowing they're looking out for each other.

Catherine isn't unfriendly to the soul riders either, quite the opposite. It would be easy to be angry at them, to hold grudges and not want a single thing to do with it, but that's not like her. Catherine isn't a hateful person. She wouldn't be angry at kids for something that their predecessors did. Elizabeth and Avalon are a different story of course, but the girls never did anything bad, she doesn't hold any grudges against them specifically. They're just kids, kids who have way too many things that they have to shoulder than anyone that age should. Those girls aren't even in their 20s and are being told the fate of Jorvik and perhaps the whole world is depending on them. That's fucked up, like, severely fucked up.

So Catherine always tells them that no matter what, they can always come to Moorland Stables. Even if she can't do much in regard to guiding them on their Soul Rider journey, she can make sure there is a place for them where they're safe.

It does hurt to see that just like her Montana feels like she doesn't fit in, doesn't belong with them. To see that cycle repeat itself. Yet Montana doesn't seem to be as bothered by it as she had been, which isn't exactly better if you hear the 'I wasn't really able to make friends after we left Jorvik, so it's nothing new' explanation.

I do think she would stay away from Valedale and the Keepers and Elizabeth as far as she can. The only time I can see her showing up again is after Justin got imprisoned and for the first time in her life Catherine is full on willing to throw hands with someone. (She doesn't. She doesn't stop Montana from doing it for her either.)

TL;DR

Catherine is basically treating Montana as her own daughter and being a great at it. She doesn't hold grudges against the current Soul Riders bc they're just kids. The Keepers can go fuck themselves she ain't dealing with them. When are Montana and Justin getting married she'd love to have her as her daughter in law

#sso #ssoblr #star stable online #mo talks lore #Catherine lives! AU #I actually really like this AU it's becoming one of my favorites lol #if you have more specific question feel free to ask them!!! #I love getting to info dump (￣▽￣)

[dootznbootz]

hi! im so curious abt whether or not you have any hcs/thoughts abt when helen and penelope found out abt what happened to agamemnon and then later clytemnestra? (srry if youve answered smth similar before! i looked thru the tags and didnt seem to find anything)

With Penelope, I kind of have it planned where I go into a bit with how Nauplius, the father of Palamedes, goes and fucks with the other kings by going to their homelands and telling their wives they're bringing back a new bride so that the queens would, you know, take on a lover or boot out the king when he comes back.

I think it's funny af that Palamedes' dad went around trying to fuck with the other king's kingdoms and it worked as most of their wives had affairs but then you have Penelope, the WIFE of the guy who set your son up to get murdered, and she wasn't buying it. Got revenge on all the kings except for the one who was truly responsible because his wife was too cool.

I love imagining him trying to convince Penelope, who's already like "You're telling me, my husband, the embodiment of simping, is going to replace me? When he knows I'm the best thing that ever happened to him?"

But when she realizes who this man is??? She's fucking FURIOUS. this is the father of the man who put their CHILD in such a dangerous situation and is the reason why her husband is away from her. She throws him out but Nauplius gets to Odysseus' parents and...tells them he died. He lied so at least he could hurt Odysseus in some way at least...Also Ironic as Palamedes I'm pretty sure is a distant descendant of Poseidon. There's something there >:D

But idk for sure how EXACTLY I'm going to have it go down but I like the thought of the family at least COMMUNICATING and sometimes visiting each other. Maybe Penelope visiting Hermione as her auntie kind of. Maybe visiting her siblings, mother, and father (until he tries to convince her to remarry again. then she avoids him :( ). Same with Clytemnestra. And idk for SURE but everyone has an inkling that she's having an affair with Aegisthus but no one knows for sure. Penelope tries to bring up Nauplius but...isn't able to get anywhere (can't spoil everything!)

When she finds out what happens it's a "I KNEW IT!" and anger as she's saddened as she cared for both these people so much as she grew up with them nearby. First Helen was kidnapped, her husband is gone, she can't see her siblings as often, now another person she grew up with and cared about is not only dead but also the one who killed them was another person she cared about! And she doesn't know how Ithaca, being a smaller island as a whole, could help their children. She's sad for them but also knows that she already has so much on her plate that she can't really help them. (also somewhat selfish :P Her and Odysseus are like-minded)

There's a part of me that thinks that, being the somewhat "I will do whatever I have to do to get on top" part of her would just "play along" to get resources from Mycenae while deep down feeling like "There will be consequences" or she would completely ignore and no longer do things with them until Orestes takes it back. She's got a lot going on with the suitors as well so idk for sure yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

WITH HELEN, that's much more complicated. She's been gone so long, and has to worry about getting back to her kingdom and looking forward to seeing her family again only to realize that some of her family has done something horrendous. Her sister killed her Brother-in-law! Menelaus' brother!! She grew up caring for Agamemnon as well! And also her husband is grieving!!! There is...SO MUCH going on. She's probably able to grieve a bit while in Egypt (because if I remember correctly they find out through Proteus, yeah?) There's grief for the sister she knew. She was ripped away from Hermione, how could her own sister not only kill her husband, but also send her children away and be so horrible to them?! But kind of in the same way as Penelope, so much on their plate with just returning, that they don't know how much they can do until later. I don't think they would be willing to do any sort of interaction with Mycenae afterward though. :P

Little side thing, but since I love MenOdy's BROTP, I'd like to think that Menelaus, being told by Proteus, a deity, where Odysseus was at, was kind of "mind-wiped" until Telemachus comes as "it's not the right time yet" with the gods. Menelaus and Helen realize afterward of "HoLY FUCK WE SHOULD'VE TOLD PENELOPE!!!" as they care about both Odysseus and Penelope. Also doesn't help that yeah, gotten news about bro/brother in law being murdered so there's a LOT going on. but I don't like to think they simply forgot??? when for one thing, I plan to write them as all very close?? NO >:(

It was just prophecy shit of "Hey, it HAS to be 20 years, mm'kay?"

#House of Atreus shit is always buzzing in the back of my mind but not as loud as the Odyssey👀 #ask #my headcanons #shot by odysseus #Mad rambles #anon #THANK YOU!!! :D #I am a bit all over the place and I'll probably need to reread Proteus bit again :P #I always just focus on “haha. Menelaus is a seal!!! He's a little sealy seal!” and so...yeah...ADHD makes you focus on the IMPORTANT stuff

[upsidedowngrass]

Charlotte post NOW (/j only if u want!!)

AHHH charlotte jumpscare!!!!!!!

im not sure what SPECIFICALLY to post abt her bc this ask is a little vague, BUT i do think abt her a lot!!! tho i DO gotta think about her more, she is a WONDERFUL character

bc idk what specifically, my interpretation of her post canon and WHY (also under a readmore because WOW!! i had apparently a lot to say abt her):

i think!!! she is a LOT more mellow after she gets home. like in one 16 after shes respawned its like. she seems to be friendlier? which. i think has to do w like... i dont think she was a bad person really, and i dont think shed been acting Maliciously, but when it came to having friends i think it was really easier for her to genuinely take things as worst as they could be. we dont actually get much of her backstory, so its up to interpretation as to WHY, but i think she genuinely struggled with being distrustful of those close to her. she likes them, that much is clear, but trusting people is a whole other thing

but i think she really DID view her friends as pitying her. as not respecting her, even when they werent Being cruel. they were concerned for her safety, and how her recklessness was affecting her. and i think that can end up walking a line between pity and not wanting your friends to do things that are pretty unambiguously dangerous, and what was very standard friendship ended up feeling a lot MORE like they didnt respect her or her choices

and i think what changes this is that. she DID die. and i think that contextualized for her that her friends werent concerned because they thought she couldnt handle herself, but because they just Generally care abt her yknow? as fucked up as her dying is, i think it did ultimately make her realize that THIS is what her friends were worried about. they didnt want THIS to happen to her, and i think in an odd way? it kinda made her. idk understand? trust? the people around her more. like in a 'oh, people around me dont only care about me for selfish reasons, or cruel reasons. they care because they CARE' way

and i think that, and the fact that she says that shed been thinking about this a lot? i feel like it kinda all forced her to slow down and WANT to talk to the people around her. because shed been pushing them all away because what was the point in talking to them? and i think once she REALLY noticed how amelia was doing, after thinking so much about all this, it kinda MADE her want to amend things. or at the very least, to talk to people more. shes isolated herself long enough, and its now more than ever that she realizes how much others meant to her in the first place.

(i think in some aspects, amelias method of coping also bothered her. amelias coping mechanisms werent necessarily BAD, theyre not good by real-world standards, but given the situation shes in, it was just... once of the few ways she COULD cope. but i think the flaws in this method of coping really came through once airy came back, because in forgetting everything about who she used to be, earth became a very daunting place, but now that airys back, any amount of feeling like home the plane may have unfortunately gained was completely undone. and i think charlotte actually SEES that, and its not the exact same as her own struggles, but i think she WANTS to help amelia, because she of all people knows how the feeling of being isolated, either on purpose or accident, can feel Extremely Awful. that, and she knew amelia before things on the plane got REALLY bad, and she SAW (since ive seen people note that she!!! was watching amelia do yoga w the others) amelia gradually give up, become comfortable, and then LOSE all of that

and i think, at least right before bryce showed up, it felt fucked up that charlotte WAS the only other person from the same world as amelia and theyd!!! never even spoken about it??? (like how she comments that they NEVER told each other their names. which only applies to her and amelia. that statement was intended very specifically towards amelia) and its like. i think it mightve made her a bit 'no WONDER shes not doing well. even if shes trying to act like she is' (which i dont even think amelia is doing to deflect so much as an attempt at 'if i pretend its ok it WILL be ok right?'))

and!!! once getting home i think this would all really lead her to be a bit more patient with others. i dont think the distrust would STOP being an issue, but i think such a terrible experience causing her to completely recontextualize the actions of those around her would actually help, at least a little . i dont actually know if i think shed stay friends w parker and that friend group, but i think theyd at the least keep in touch. parker clearly, even when they were arguing, STILL cared about her, and i think seeing her disappear probably was. a bit haunting, and so i think at the very least hed like to know shes Okay

also whenever people have the characters live together post canon, they only ever include bryce liam and amelia, and i GET why!!! charlotte didnt really interact w them for a looong time. but after charlotte is revived i actually see her as talking with them yknow? i dont think shed stop talking to them again, and i think her talking with amelia was a genuine attempt to help!! so i think theyd stick together. i dont imagine liam actually gets closer with any of the contestants while hes trying to send them home (tho i dont think it worsens substantially either. i think it just sorta. stays where it is? and if he did have notable interactions with any of them, itd PROBABLY be mainly w amelia and bryce, tho i dont think he DOESNT talk to charlotte too! he just has a diff sort of connection w those to, based on the experiences he Shared w them) so i think he isnt SUPER close w charlotte, but i think the others may become WAY closer w her!!! so i think if they all moved in together? that WOULD include charlotte!!! (that, and i think charlotte would also develop a sort of respect for liam . because he kinda DOES display exactly the type of traits she didnt really see people as having!!! going to EXTREME lengths to help people, including HER! so i think shed generally have many thoughts on him)

anyway !!! thats it the point is that as much as one would fuck charlotte up in her own way, i think, similar to how bryce tried to get his life together after he was first eliminated, shed similarly end up having a better ability to navigate social stuff in not such a pessimistic way as before!!!!!

#hfjone #one is a series abt the complexities of isolation man........ #how people create it and how people respond to it #i also have many thoughts on what one is abt but . theres such a theme of isolation #(also? its been a longstanding idea ive had that like #charlotte and bryce both mellow out more after one #while liam and amelia both become a bit more easily agitated #NOT that charlotte and bryce wouldnt have their own problems but like #i think BECAUSE these two were in a shittier place that made them rethink stuff #while liam and amelia were doing okay and abruptly had everything ruined #would make charlotte AND bryce actually a bit Better at Navigating things specifically #and i think charlotte and bryce are meant to somewhat reflect back amelia and liam actually #and are meant to show the different ways awful experiences affect people #DUNNO. i think i could put these four on a chart and liam and amelia would be on a diff side from bryce and charlotte #based on the general Way that one affected them #but then liam and bryce would be on a diff side from amelia and charlotte too based on their experiences in a more literal way #if that makes sense #though i think liam AND charlotte ALSO share in their stubbornness and amelia nd bryce in a desire to Let Go of things #so itd be a complex chart #ask

[skitkattl]

HHI SORRY I. HARDLY POST HERE HELP

anyways i wanna talk abt my idea for what i'm drawing rn here instead of on twt since hardly anyone sees my posts here i just wanna ramble abt this rq HEELP OK RAMBLE IS BELOW THE READ MORE

(might delete this post later but idk)

i always think abt how in strangled red like. steven and red have CANONICALLY interacted, they had some sort of significance in each other's lives and played a role. seemingly a sibling/guardian/general role model type relationship-- but i hardly see anyone talk abt their dynamic like. ever!! (unless u count rednecks group dynamic posts but there's hardly anything of red and steven alone and before the trading incident)

so around, like. maybe november?? idk

i got an idea but i never started drawing it out until now for some reason

after mike's death steven just, like, disappeared, right? he never got to fully see red's trainer journey, if at all- which must've at LEAST sucked for red, considering steven was supposedly one of his biggest role models in becoming a trainer, let alone his inspo for wanting to become "the greatest".

the guy who was basically his idol just... vanished. where did he go?? no one will tell red where the hell steven OR mike went, probably making up something to keep him from worrying, but that doesn't keep him from being disappointed and upset that they weren't there to see him start his adventure.

that must've been rough on steven too, though, yeah? letting down someone like that who looked up to you, especially if they were close and had a familial bond- which was most likely, since steven seemed to have been at least a little close to red's family in the og story. steven fucking LOVED people-- he had a reputation around town, he knew everyone and everyone knew him. that kind of love for people doesn't just vanish that quickly, right? despite everything that happened, he's still himself, he still holds the same feelings, he's probably just more fucked up than usual/HJ

so all things considered-- steven missed out on a lot of red's life. that was rough for sure on red, and probably on steven as well, right? what was he missing out on while behind the pallet town walls? what was everyone doing since he vanished? what if something bad happened while he was gone?? what if something bad happened to someone he CARED about????

anyways!!! in conclusion: what if snow on mt silver and strangled red took place in the same universe/timeline. that is all ramble over thank u silly ppl in my phone have a great day

#death tw #death ment tw #my brain is so autistic abt this idea #I LOVE ANGST!!!!!

[imperpetuallylost]

fair warning this is just me ranting do not even read it

i’m pretty sure i failed my calc quiz bc i didn’t study because i don’t believe in studying bc i don’t need to study bc idk how to study

but also i knew it’d be memorizing a sheet of derivative rules and i hadn’t looked at that sheet in like a week bc why would i i don’t need to do that shit and then it turned out there were things on the sheet i forgot about, whoops

also by fail i mean i think it was like maybe an 85 but possibly lower but like it’s so hard to raise your grade in that class if you do bad on one single thing and this was like supposed to be the easy quiz to boost people’s grades which like at least i didn’t need i got a 95 on the test a bunch of people like failed so i went in cocky i guess i’m really upset abt it bc i know it would have been so easy for me to get a hundred on it if i put like five minutes in

also my teacher made a joke abt comparing me to my older brother who like was nearly perfect academically tho also i do as of the end of junior year have a slightly higher gpa than him so suck on that but like. my calc teacher did not need to say that i wanted to start crying because he was like hmm i’ve got to hold you to a higher standard bc i have to compare you to Him and i was like what because no way was he saying that about my brother who he had last year and i had just handed in the quiz and i knew i did badly and he was like you know Him and i was like Oh. he was like haha just kidding i don’t i would never and like then why did the thought cross your mind because anyone with a head on their shoulders could tell that i do compare myself to him all the fucking time bc how could i not he made everything seem so fucking easy like maybe we’re getting the same grades but he wasn’t having panic attacks and crying over them he just sat down did the work and went on with his life he didn’t sit there for hours trying to start the work and hating himself and being completely unable to focus ever at all and just giving everything he had to get those grades and being overwhelmingly worried at every given moment about what everyone thought about him and he didn’t fucking want to die the whole time so how am i even supposed to compare to that even if i end up getting everything done perfectly the process was so awful and fucked up and i barely made it

#i just can’t do this anymore #seems over dramatic to kill myself over a quiz so i have to wait at least a few days #i feel the need to clarify that i’m joking

[ouroboobos]

i need a new fucking job lmfao. ITEMIZED LIST OF GRIEVANCES AS OF RIGHT NOW

its customer service

i make less as a manager than the starting wage at mcdonalds

theres at least two grown men with sexual harrassment complaints against them because they cant stop hitting on teenage girls

the two guys got in zero trouble and continue to be treated like perfect hardware store angels

one of them gave me a rose on valentines day and kept trying to give me rides

theres a completely seperate third man in his 60s who continually makes comments about my body and touches me and tried to give me a massage in the break room one time

everyone loves him and hes been working here for like 8 years so even if it got bad enough to report him theres no way my boss would give a shit and no one would ever believe me and im worried abt retaliation

i havent told him to fuck off because im scaredcore so idk if he even knows hes making me uncomfortable

i get routinely sexually harrassed by customers and when i asked my boss abt how to handle it he basically said other girls have quit over it and "the real problem is when they dont call a manager up" so he definitely does not udnerstand what its actually like to deal with that and that its usually too subtle to do anything abt it

since i got promoted i almost never get my 10 minute breaks which maybe doesnt seem like a big deal but it is wearing me the fuck out

im surrounded by proud vocal conservatives

EXCEPT for my boss who is one of those people who doesnt think hes a bigot (hes very proud of being one of the chill open-minded Christians) but definitely is

also i couldnt make this up even if i wanted to, but hes 36 years old and a cpuple days ago he made me stand there and listen to him rant about hes not homophobic but why did they make Good Omens gay not everything has to be gay 😡😡😡 hes 36. hes fucking 36

we're almost always understaffed and they dont want to pay anyone so they dont start hiring more people until we're already in our busiest season and then we have to train a bunch of 15 year olds between dealing with 36 billion kajillion fucking customers

truly abysmal fucking communication. i didnt even know i was getting promoted to management until i was in the middle of supervisor training (which they never bothered to finish so i got like... tiny disjointed snippets of training over a period of a few weeks and then i was a manager)

i was functionally head cashier for months and they never gave me the title or the raise because i was "being trained for the position" when actually they allotted less than a day of training from the FORMER head cashier on her last day even though they knew she was retiring for months and then i just figured it out by myself and was already doing all of it

im finally going back to school and next semester when im better settled i want to transition to full time classes, so i met with my boss to give him a heads up and told him i wanted to start training a couple people on some of my basic responsibilities in case i have to cut down my hours, and he basically brushed me off and said we can talk about it in a few months.

and then he talked about his time in college for like twenty minutes and said i shouldnt overwhelm myself by working full time and going to school full time, which made it seem like he was on the same page

but then he kind of was like "well its good you want to get an education but if you go part time in the spring that kind of screws us over" so im not really sure what the fuck is happening in his brain but it almost sounds like he expects me to stay part time in school and keep working full time and doesnt want to prepare for anything else

also he didnt tell me i inherited the key department in addition to the front end until i was like hey whos ordering keys now? and he was like ummmm you? 🤨 ok thanks for the heads up man

its one of those places that looks pretty nice but theres like 20 things breaking throughout the store that theyre too cheap to fix

^recent example: the receipt printers arent working for duplicates (which we need for returns, special orders, etc) so now you to walk across the room to the actual printer and they dont want to fix it because "the printer paper is cheaper than the receipt paper". im not even that irritated about having to use the big printer but that is so fucking cheap for such a massive successful company that now im genuinely pissed off about it.

my boss is one of those guys who seems super nice and friendly and great at first, and pretty much everyone thinks he is, but the more time you spend with him the more you're like. hey buddy is something a little bit fucking wrong with you? and every day i resent him just a tiny bit more

they want us to follow homeless people around the store like fucking spies until we find an excuse to kick them out

theres a guy that comes in every now and again and harrasses female cashiers, walks around casually dropping hate speech, and once literally told one of our teenage boys about his rape fantasy and they wont do anything about him because he's rich and he spends a lot of money

we all have like 4 jobs with barely the pay of 1

i hates it

#IM SO MAD IM SO MAD I M SO MAD RAAAGAHHH #i just needed to write this all out i feel like i need to punch a wall #ask to tag #♥︎

[chihirolovebot]

[ also speaking of my fangan and sleep awake ]

holds you by the shoulders. people have probably said this before and i will say it again: your kokichi is like. my favorite, truthfully, and the perfect basis to get to know his character and how to write him. genuinely many thanks

a lot of people either like. dumb him down? to "i lie because i can't trust anyone.... the angst I hide inside is too much for you to handle....." or completely erase that aspect of his character. which yk, different characterizations are always cool, but it's super interesting to read your kokichi in sleep awake because i can definitely see the way you write him being in the canon game. like word for word, bar for bar, he'd definitely fit right into canon

i can't wait for the next chapter <3 your ouma my beloved always

YEAHHHH yeah. okay. okay ive spoken a lot abt this but i will never miss an opportunity to say it again.

kokichi is interesting BECAUSE of his moral greyness. that's it. i mean obviously there's more but the core of his character is that he is not right all the time. he's a lot less sympathetic than antagonists like nagito or the warriors of hope, who did bad things but you could at least understand where they were coming from. i think the key to writing kokichi (and this i s obviously my own personal opinion im not the patron saint of characterising kokichi) i think u rly have to strike a balance between the good and bad he does, and weave his flawed philosophy into everything he does and says. like. the way he thinks is founded in truth but he takes to too much of an extreme which leads to him distrusting everyone, which leads to him manipulating gonta into killing miu. the truth is that he didnt HAVE to do that, he knew miu was planning to kill him ahead of time and he had multiple chances to stop it before it started. he just chose not to out of distrust for his classmates.

and thats GOOD. that was makes him a great fucking character. and people take this as either 'wow kokichi's fucking evil' or 'wow kokichi's fucking sad and heroic he was just tryign to save everyone.' and like. yeah of course he was trying to save everyone but the way he did it is objectively bad and wrong. that's the point of the main theme of the game imo.

this got long. what im trying to say is that i hate when people characterise kokichi as either end of the extreme. he's not evil and he's not particularly good. but he is definitely understandable and definitely redeemable in my opinion. that's what makes it so fascinating to write a story abt him!!

thank u very much by the way!!! i put a lot of thought into kokichi and think rly hard abt the things i have him say and do. sometimes i've wanted something to happen but ultimately i've had to rewrite because it's not feasible to his canon character. and i do worry abt my characterisation of him sometimes so hearing this is rly lovely and makes me a lot more confident. thank u very much!!! and i hope ur having a lovely day <333

#dear venus. #🏚.sleep awake