#I’m not fucking normal about this idiot

[say-al0e]

Hypothetical

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Eddie asks a lot of hypothetical questions, just to hear your answer. The answer to this question was more real than you wanted to admit. Warnings: Tiny bit of self-doubt, idiots to lovers. Pairing: Eddie x fem!Reader (think it could be read as GN but just to be safe) Word Count: 2.7k

“Would you fuck my clone?”

The question, asked as casually as if he were inquiring about the weather - though, to his defense, he’d asked weirder - rose above the sound of chainsaws emanating from the television and earned a confused frown as you spared him a sideways glance.

Eddie’s attention remained mostly on Leatherface, chasing unsuspecting victims, but you caught his curious glance as you laughed. Those were the first words spoken in over an hour, certainly a record for your verbose best friend, and you couldn’t help but ask, “What the fuck, Eddie?”

“What?” From his position at the end of the couch, feet propped on the coffee table and head lolled onto the cushions, he shrugged. “It’s a simple question. Would you fuck my clone?”

A beat of silence passed, in which you realized this was one of those moments where Eddie wouldn’t let the question go until he was given a satisfying answer, and you sighed. “I don’t think that’s the question, Eds,” you countered. “Isn’t it usually, ‘would you fuck your own clone’?”

With a dismissive wave of his hand and a scoff, Eddie finally sat up and turned his full attention to you, screaming teenagers and chainsaws forgotten now that he had something better to capture his attention. “That one’s boring,” he reasoned. “We know all the arguments. This is a different question, new arguments.”

“I think we’re fine without arguing,” you teased, reaching for the nearly half-empty bowl of popcorn. “Just watch the movie, Eddie.”

From the corner of your eye, you watched as a look you couldn’t quite recognize flickered across Eddie’s face. However, just as quickly as it appeared, it was covered with a raised brow and a teasing grin. “We’ve seen it a hundred times already. Anyway, what I’m getting from this is, you would fuck my clone. Interesting.”

Eddie did little to hide his amusement as you rolled your eyes and tossed a piece of popcorn at him. “I didn’t say that,” you argued, despite yourself - despite knowing that you were walking into a conversation you weren’t yet sure you wanted any part of.

A hum, unconvinced, met your ears as he reached for the bowl and plucked it from your hands. “Okay,” he prompted, ignoring your outraged huff. “So, tell me. Would you?”

There were a handful of ways you could respond to his probing. The first, shut down his question with a point blank refusal, phrased as a light-hearted joke that did little damage to his ego and even less to your already fragile nerves. The second, play into his game and debate the pros and cons of sleeping with his clone, the ethical ramifications, the conversation he clearly wanted. Or, the third, admit to him a fact that you’d concealed since the summer of 1984.

Any way you could have him, real Eddie or clone, you would take it.

That was, solidly, not in the lead. So, you opted for the second approach.

“Jeez, Eds,” you sighed, stealing popcorn from the bowl now resting on his lap. “I don’t know. Maybe,” you conceded. “Depends, I guess. Is he, like, total you or some weird, kinda fucked up clone? Like, is he totally evil or incapable of coherent thought or, I don’t, off somehow?” As an afterthought, you joked, “More so than the real you, anyway.”

“Rude.” There was no bite in the declaration, only a fond amusement that made your chest ache, but you did your best to ignore it as he hummed. “Clone’s a totally normal, complete carbon copy. Everything about him is exactly the same, down to the last hair.”

“So, no aspirations to rule the world or become, like, the next Leatherface?”

Eddie grinned. “That’s my backup plan, you know, if music doesn’t work. So, guess it’d be his, too,” he admitted, only breaking into laughter when you grabbed a pillow and smacked him with it. “Seriously,” he relented, “nothing weird. Just another me. Everything you know and love, times two.”

With a sigh, you lifted your legs onto the couch and hugged your knees to your chest. “Then… I don’t know,” you admitted, voice barely audible over the screams still echoing from the television. “Maybe?”

“It’s a yes or no question, babe,” he reminded you, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed as he studied you. “Shouldn’t be this hard.”

That look, the one that you had difficulty placing, returned and despite your uncertainty as to what it was, you were certain that you didn’t like it very much. Doubt, or maybe hurt, were the closest emotions you could identify though neither made much sense to you in the moment.

Still, rather than ask, you rolled your eyes. “What’s the point of this conversation?”

There was none, it was just for fun - a debate, like the thousands of others you’d had over the course of your friendship - and Eddie said a much as he shrugged. “Isn’t one,” he declared, offering you the last handful of popcorn. “I just want to know if you’d fuck my clone.”

When you refused, he returned the bowl back to the coffee table before reaching for your ankle. With a gentle tug, he encouraged you to rest your feet on his lap as his fingers began to tap a beat that only existed inside his head against your skin. “Why does it matter?”

Eddie shrugged once more, though this time, he glanced at the television rather than you as he answered. “Because I asked and you always answer.”

“I do,” you relented, sighing as you also spared the screen a glance. “Well, what’s the right answer, then? There has to be one.”

This time, he shook his head as the tapping of his fingers grew a touch faster. “Right answer’s the true one.”

For a moment, you simply studied Eddie. His side profile, bathed in the warm glow of the television, was the picture of concentration as he watched a scene you’d seen a thousand times before. Only, you knew him well enough to see the telltale signs that he was in no way paying as close of attention as he should’ve been.

The slightest tick in his jaw, the quick bite of the inside of his cheek, the delayed blinking; all signs that he was waiting more intently for your answer than he wanted you to believe.

Rejection - no matter how hypothetical - never seemed possible when it came to Eddie. So, you sighed and conceded, “Okay, fine. Sure, I’d fuck your clone.”

Eddie hummed, seemingly unsurprised and feigning nonchalance as he nodded as if the answer confirmed something he already suspected. And there were a thousand ways in which you expected him to respond; none of which could’ve compared to him declaring, “So, you’d fuck my clone but not me.”

Again, rejection was not an option. However, you had no intention of admitting to him that you’d wanted him for years. There was no world in which you could see yourself admitting to him that you thought he was beautiful - with his doe eyes and playful grin. Telling him how you felt would likely end in an awkward silence at best and a ruined friendship at worst.

So, you opted for a careful denial. “What? I didn’t say that.”

“But you’re not saying anything to the contrary,” he countered, turning his head to spare you a cursory glance. There was something there, beneath the amused glimmer in his eyes, that unnerved you - something far more serious than you were expecting - but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

When you shot him an unimpressed glance, cutting your eyes at him before returning your attention to the television, he shrugged, teasing grin never faltering. “I never said that. I answered a hypothetical and you’re reading into it.”

Eddie met your perhaps too sharp denial with a raised brow as he gave up the guise of watching the movie. “So, am I wrong?”

“Would you stop putting words into my mouth?” You huffed as you reached for the bowl of popcorn, desperate for something to distract yourself from making a confession you knew you would regret. “I never said that. All I said was that I’d fuck your clone, I answered the question.”

“Okay, fine. You never said you wouldn’t fuck me but it’s never happened. Never even sort of, almost, maybe happened,” he reminded you - as if you needed it. “So, you would fuck my clone but not me. Why?”

“Because we’re friends, Eddie,” you shot back, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as you popped a piece of popcorn into your mouth. “I’ve known you since I was ten.” 

The excuse sounded weak in your own ears, but it was all you could muster without breaking down and confessing that you would, in fact, sleep with him. If only he’d ask. If only it wouldn’t destroy your friendship. If only it was that simple.

Still, Eddie was relentless. “But my clone would have all my memories, totally the same person,” he reminded you. “He’d be your friend, just like me. But you’d fuck him. So, why not me?”

“This is stupid,” you huffed. “Why do you care?” He’d never pushed so hard, not in pursuit of a hypothetical question meant to pass the time, and you were genuinely curious why he seemed so interested in your answer, or your lack thereof.

“I’m a naturally curious person,” he argued, shrugging as he squeezed your ankle. “It’s just a stupid hypothetical. C’mon, why would you hypothetically fuck my clone but not me?”

There was little doubt in your mind that he would continue pushing until he got the answer he was looking for, especially as it seemed that he’d already made up his mind that he was right, so you shifted yourself in a huff. With your legs now hugged to your chest, eyes on the television to avoid meeting his gaze as you admitted in a snap, “God, okay. I’d fuck your clone because it’s the closest I’d get to being with you without actually destroying our entire relationship. Happy with that answer?”

“What?” Eddie sounded genuinely surprised and you could feel the warmth of his gaze burning into your skin as you purposely kept your gaze on the television.

“If your clone is you, all your memories, your mannerisms, your looks, I’d fuck your clone because then I’d get to see what it’s like to be with you,” you admitted, words escaping despite every fiber of your being telling you to be quiet. “I’d get everything without the risk of losing you when I fuck it all up.”

Eddie shifted closer then, careful to keep a few inches of space between you but no longer nestled into the opposite edge of the couch as he tipped his head to get a better glimpse of your face. “What do you mean, when you fuck it up?”

Frustrated tears - at admitting a secret you swore would follow you to the grave, at allowing him to get under your skin when he was simply asking an innocent question, at allowing yourself to get so worked up over something so simple - stung at the backs of your eyes as you huffed. “I’m… you know me, Eddie. I don’t,” you sighed, cutting yourself off, before taking a deep breath. “I’m prickly. I don’t do well with romance. I freak out and run,” you reminded him. “Even if you felt the same, if we worked out enough to not have our friendship go down in flames, there’s still a chance I’d fuck it up and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to run from you.”

“Hey.” Eddie shifted even closer, close enough for you to feel the warmth of his body, and sighed when you refused to glance at him. Regardless, he exclaimed, “That’s why we’d be different.”

“What?” Of all the things you expected him to say, that was the last. With furrowed brows and tears still lining your lashes, you tipped your head to glance at him. “Why?”

“Because,” he began, meeting your eyes for the first time in what felt like hours, “when you try to run, I know what you’re doing. When you get all weird or try to push me away, I know it’s not really you wanting me to go. I know you. I get you, just like you get me.”

“Eddie.”

Of all the ways you’d expected him to react, of all the ways you expected him to acknowledge your feelings for him, returning them was not on the list. For years, you’d convinced yourself that there was no way he would return your feelings, there was no way you would ever be able to acknowledge those feelings without losing your best friend, and there was still a deep-rooted fear that, despite his seeming certainty that his understanding would make a difference, any attempt at a relationship would only end in heartbreak.

That didn’t seem to matter to him as he pressed on. “I’m serious. It’s us,” he continued, this time reaching out to press a hand to your knee. “It’s always been us, always will be us. There’s nothing you can do to get rid of me. Not now.”

“You can’t know that,” you sighed, though it was nowhere near as confident as you hoped it would be. “We can’t see the future.”

“We can’t,” he agreed. “Not yet, anyway, but the nineties seem promising.” When you rolled your eyes, barely suppressing a smile, he laughed. “But that’s the fun part. We do our best to make our own future. It’s always going to be together, might as well come clean and really be together instead of making ourselves miserable pretending.” Before you could respond, offer another half-hearted refusal, he pressed on. “What do we have to lose?”

“Everything.”

Eddie shook his head, completely unconvinced that anything bad would come of allowing yourselves to try. “I don’t believe that. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. We always do.”

“How can you be so certain?” You wished you had an ounce of Eddie’s certainty, his true belief that the pair of you could make it, but you were skeptical. Neither of you had much luck in life, neither of you had much outside of one another, and losing him would be far too great.

However, you were tired of pretending that a shared future was not what you wanted. 

The possibility that your future could go up in flames, that you could destroy the best friendship you’d ever had, worried you. It kept you awake at night. But now knowing that Eddie felt the same, that he wanted the same future you did, there was no way you could turn him down.

For all your fear, for all your hesitance, saying no was not an option.

“Because we’ve been in love for years and nothing bad has happened yet.” He said it as if it was the most obvious answer he could give, as if it made all the sense in the world, and if you really stopped to think about it, it did.

“Can you promise me something?”

Eddie shifted ever closer, nodding easily as you reached for his hand. “Anything.”

“Can you promise me that no matter what happens, we’ll always be friends? Even if we don’t work out, if something happens, promise me that we’ll still be there for each other.”

“I promise. Nothing hypothetical about that,” he agreed, corner of his mouth lifting when you offered a soft smile.

The moment stretched around you, nothing existed outside of the pair of you as Eddie tugged you into his side. It was easy, natural, and you melted into his touch despite the fear lingering in the back of your mind.

There was a brief worry that this could be a mistake. That allowing yourselves to intertwine your futures so thoroughly would only end in heartbreak, but he was right. For as long as you could remember, it had been you and Eddie. There was nothing that had managed to wedge you apart yet. And pretending had no guarantee of working in the long term.

So, you decided to dive in to the deep end and allow yourself to truly fall. There was no situation, real or hypothetical, in which he would allow you to hit the ground.

No matter what, you knew that he would be there to catch you. 

________________________________________________________

Author's Note: I spent my entire day in meetings. All the meetings. So many meetings. I also have a dentist appointment on Wednesday and I am Terrified. So have this.

Taglist: @x-avantgarde-x, @thisisparadisemylove, @eddiesprincess, @slvdsjjk, @munsonlover, @tasmbestspdrman, @urofficial-cyberslut, @jxngwhore, @hopelesslylosttheway, @meaganjm, @lazuli-leenabride, @deiondraaa, @piscesmesss, @glowyskiess, @kiszkathecook, @missryerye, @solarrexplosion, @ofherscarlettwitchways, @lovedandleft-haunted, @trappedinlimbo15, @sweetiekitten, @bookfrog242, @gwendolynmary, @sage-bun, @zealouslibrariesparadiselight, @castiels-lilass, @tojis-little-brat, @emmah787, @theworldsendxx, @asuperconfusedgirl, @flores-and-sunshine, @passi0np1t, @laurathefahrradsattel, @hellf1reclub, @slut4yourmom, @niko-04, @hannirose-loves-you, @mrs-eddie-munson, @screambabe, @vllowe, @ryswritingrecord, @cheriebondy, @ryswritingrecord, @thewitchofthewilds140, @bootlegmothman420, @maruushkka, @honeymoonpython, @keenesbeans, @jess-bonn, @sammysinger04, @khaoticken21, @denkis-slut, @spiderman-berries, @lotus-es, @amortiff, @stardust-galaxies, @ure-a-sunflower, @1-800-ch3rry, @ladybeewritethings, @ynbutbetter, @hunnybunimdun, @breathinfive, @s-u-t, @s4ntacarlal0stk1d, @rae-iin, @pennamesgame, @stefans-wife, @voldieshorts, @frankie-mercury, @bbymochi1, @serendiipty, @saturnsworld01, @eddiemunson1sstuff​, @valthevalkyrie-main​, @crying-caro​, @inglourious-imagines​

#stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #stranger things fic #stranger things fluff #eddie munson fluff #v's fics

[no1ryomafan]

The struggle of talking about your favorite fictional characters depth because no one in the tiny ass fandom that exists gives him the proper analysis he deserves and you rotated him enough in your head that you have detailed opinions about his character arc but making essays are REALLY fucking hard so the only thing you can shove to peoples faces is random incoherent rambles about one very specific scene or just pointing to your ao3 where you’ve written in depth character fics about him but aren’t canon complaint whatsoever since it’s “what if he actually addressed his trauma, got help and it lead to a happier ending for him than canon?” which feels like it contradicts aspect of why him getting doomed by the narrative is so appealing to begin with but you cry like a bitch remembering what happens to him that you need to cope like every other fandom.

…My conclusion is I fucking hate Ryoma Nagare for ruining my life. /s

#meg text #getter robo #ryoma nagare #me and my friends are likely gonna finish new tomorrow and mentally I’m preparing to weep #nobody but me is gonna be emotional about the ending bc it’s not that sad but GRAAAH #I’m not fucking normal about this idiot #I want to go into the void and recuse him myself then BEAT HIM UP for making me feel this way #<I already brought him back in fic but shhhh that’s sadly not canon #I really wanna write essays about him though I just can’t WORD #I struggle to write fucking fics but something where I have to be clear to argue a subject??? Guess I’ll die #somebody come down from the heavens and make getter essays that wasn’t that one retrospective PLEASE #NEW NEEDS TO BE TALKED ABOUT MORE FFS

[sentientsky]

“Belovéd,” Yves Olade

#JUST WHEN I THINK IM GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO FUCKING IDIOTS #I love them so much and I’m such a sucker for angst #this poem was one that just absolutely wrecked me as a teenager. I was in my sad lesbian yearning hours 24/7 #good omens #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziracrow #aziraphale #go2 #ineffable lovers #ineffable wives #good omens season 2 #good omens edit #yves olade #goodomensedit #gomens #gomens 2 #David tennant #michael sheen #ineffable divorce #final fifteen #no nightingales #good omens poetry

[runningoncaffeine]

One mistake I made when reading ORV for the first time was taking Dokja’s words at face value.

When the shitty idiot(affectionate)dismissed his trauma, assumed he understood the other people and their feelings I took it as he said. What he said I believed.

Now that I’m rereading, I realise just how much of an unreliable narrator that little bastard(very affectionate) is!!! Like I now know why Heewon did what she did! Lock that bastard up, I get you completely now Heewon sweetie. Yup, yup, he needs to get socked a few times in the head

#orv reread #orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #kim dokja #Kim dokja you little shit #god I love that idiot #is this how the rest of kimcom felt??? #yeah probably #Kim dokjaaaaa #jung heewon #kimcom #orv novel #honestly though #all of them would be unreliable narrators #humans in general would be unreliable narrators #kdj #i’m sobbing #help will I ever be normal about this jerk?? #probably fucking not

[corvidcrowned]

working for another’s benefit

#yttd #sara yttd #sara chidouin #Red namida #ai test idiots #eli’s art #umm. I’m normal about red’s feelings on sara<3 #They’re fucked up

[downstairsbar]

guys we have got to stop engaging with the white side of fandom. there is nothing good there we are not even engaging with the same material we are not going to rationalize racists out of racism and they are not worth the time or energy. the goalposts always move and they have been raised to believe they are inherently more logical more victimized more human. you cannot debate with someone who doesn’t even think you’re human

#also the ppl on twitter are fucking idiots idk how to say that kindly #there’s one account that’s normal and they’re v obviously regurgitating text posts that like ziska made four months ago #they are always four months behind on everything it is not a place of critical thinking it is made that way by design #it does not matter! #and no one cares more about t/b or gender discourse more than the ones who say they’re too good for it lol like it’s the same everywhere #you are not going to reason with them. please stop engaging stop reblogging stop screenshotting it doesn’t matter #we cannot have this conversation every two weeks we cannot spend this much time reacting to racists #I tried reasoning w a coon on here once and she called me a sjw for referencing a book like it’s not worth it #enough. I’m begging.

[wowwzaaxei]

Hi. So I’m trying fucking hardest not to laugh right now because I went on a prompt generator thingy for inspiration and I fucking got this 💀

#Pop off sis #wowza rambles #i’m currently crying #Please I swear I’m so normal about these two I swear #shitpost #don’t mind me just being an absolute total fucking idiot

[freakpit]

being in your 20’s sucks cause it’s like oh boohoo i have bills and pressure to make permanent life plans. guess i’ll get so stressed i want to kill myself about it

#op #i’m 22 i have no prospects no fucking degree #nothing to show for my fucking existence #alls i do is doordash for money and sit at home and cry about money #i have over $700 in medical bills from my infections and my doctor’s appointment that insurance decided not to cover for no reason #and i just. why am i pointless #i used to be smart and promising and want to do things with my future and now i’m just some #idiot ugly insufferable unemployed fuck who cries about everything and can’t sleep from stress #god. #AND ITS NOT EVEN AN ORIGINAL KIND OF MISERY #i can’t even claim to be unique for feeling this way!!! #so i won’t get any comfort for this other than. oh well Feeling Like That is Normal for your early 20’s #and i’m just expected to pick up and carry on and hope it gets better fucking. a decade from now #i don’t want it to be better a decade from now. i want it to be better now #whatever

[dusky-gem]

He’s f i n e.

Nothing that wasn’t coming to him.

#I’m normal about him. #I just want him to suffer for what he’s done. #tfw ur a powerful hero ceo and you gamble with some scruffy sort of dilf and lose not only your own life #but your top hero’s #and your living weapons. #ceo to casino worker lmao #get fucked idiot #midas #aether #club Aether #duskygem #oc #original character #original characters #original comic #original art #roman b. #the gambler #thelocalvampyre #my ocs #others ocs #oc stuff #ocs

[paintedvanilla]

I feel really sick and ill about the guy at work who won’t take the hint actually like I’m home now sitting in my room and I feel Terrible. physically nauseous.

#like. I’m a recent manager I’m a very New manager #but even so. i was a manager when we hired him. #i was fresh like literally 3 weeks under my belt but even so #i interviewed and hired and trained him As His Manager #and he was super normal at first he would only ever text to ask questions about the job or the campus #but then he fucking. saw me on bumble. #so now he knows I’m single and available. #and actively looking for people. and he thinks he is people. #and he keeps asking me to hang out outside of work #he keeps talking to me about how at his last job he literally dated his boss #and like I’ve been joking about it up until now but it does not feel funny anymore it’s making me feel ill #bc today we worked a class together and afterwards I’m gathering my stuff and he was like #hey if you wanna hang out I’m down. I’m not doing anything. i get really bored and kinda lonely. wanna hang out? #and I was stunned into silence I didn’t know what to say I could tell he wanted me to commit to something Right That Second #and finally I just kept being like oh maybe. um maybe. idk maybe. #i felt soooo backed into a corner about it. and I was talking to juno and they pointed out. that he probably thinks I like him back #but I’m just shy. and/or deterred by being his manager. #and now that they’ve said that I 100% think that’s what’s happening and I’m so. I’m so. I’m so fucking upset about it. #i do not know what to do I think I might try to talk to our big boss about it but he’s just always so busy #i feel like an idiot #op

[no1ryomafan]

Another very specific tangent but I had another very specific realization.

For awhile I was so indecisive on whether or not I’m a “mecha” fan because there’s so many shows I haven’t watched, or just the fact I have a preference for sentient robots even if mecha has a handful of those, but I think I finally come to a conclusion: I *am* a mecha fan because I enjoy the genres history and do want to watch a lot of shows even if they don’t fall under my personal robot preference, since I’m okay with a robot being used to metaphorically represent the pilot as robots or the robot can be characterized through fights even if it’s not in universe sentient- But I still don’t like to be called a “mecha fan” because people will assume “oh you watched this/these shows, your bound to like this one!” Because I am not a fan of having recommendations shoved in my face.

This is a general issue in a lot of fandoms-or quiet honestly, just a people issue lol-so I don’t put the blame on mecha fans specifically, but I noticed this mentality a lot which has turned me off from wanting to watch certain shows. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being passionate about liking a show and encouraging others to watch it, but the issue I tend to see a lot of the time is people just say a show is good without specifying *why*. Not every person will eagerly get into something unless they really have no preferences and will try everything, but if your going to recommend something make sure you *know* why someone likes something and than rec it if you think it’s similar enough.

But even then, I’m not really huge on “oh this show inspired this other show so you HAVE to watch it” because it’s taking away the identities of both individual properties. I see this happen a lot with getter and gurren, the latter becoming a huge turn off for me next to a few other minor factors. I’m sure the show is great, but I don’t like a factor of it’s identity is tied to getter because of its influence when visually it already seems like a different show from Getter. Just because something took a lot of inspiration from something doesn’t mean it’s a carbon copy, so someone is not bound to like one or the other even if they share similar elements because to one person one show might’ve just did it better than the other. (And I have seen this happened with the gurren and getter debate funnily enough, but I also say this from having personal experience with this happening with something else recently)

I also don’t like how with this mindset your assumed you like a show when you actually don’t. I can’t even get into the specifies with this one because I always fear of judgement of which mecha I couldn’t click with given its positive reputation but if the point above wasn’t clear: just because all mecha shows share at least the element of robots fighting and some were direct influences, does NOT mean someone is bound to like or wanna watch every single one. I personally have a lot of mecha I still want to watch but I’m keeping my taste to very specific choices. Mecha as a whole is a niche group as is, but if I can’t find individual communities within mecha I’m less likely to want to try a show. That doesn’t mean I can’t like a show that doesn’t have a fandom-I arguably pioneer the getter fandom in the last two years-but do I really wanna watch a random obscure 70s mecha that only one country remembered and will probably not get a new show if it didn’t get one during the mecha 2000s boom? Not really.

Also I’m just- at a point where I need to watch more 20+ ep anime as is so my ass is NOT gonna be able to stomach larger mecha’s which is why gundam and braves been out of my radar, even if the latter I would probably like a lot. I’m honestly so spoiled with fast pacing that I need to mentally prepare myself for slow burns since I understand some stories need to actually take their time and draw things out because there’s a lot they need to cover-though a lot of the time with longer anime it’s just a product of filler… albeit it’s not the case with mecha given how I don’t think there’s a single accurate manga to anime adaptation besides ig getter arc but more so specific longer mecha’s are episodic-but at the point I am I cannot do that so that limits my options.

But a tldr since I know a lot of people aren’t gonna read this: please do not recommend me mecha unless I ask or your someone I consider a close moot/friend. While I care a lot about the genres history so I want to be as knowledgeable as I can and I plan to watch a lot more shows for potentially years to come, I personally like choosing what to watch since I know more than anyone what I like. Much appreciated.

#meg text #mecha rambles #FYI this is not calling out anyone specifically even if I’ve had this happened with people I talked to #this has just been on my mind and wanted to finally speak about this even if only I was thinking about it #I overthink everything so that’s the real reason I was in denial until I realize “big robots doing things makes my brain go YIPPIE” #regardless if that robot is piloted by 3 idiots or a normal ass man or has any form of sentience #also I didn't wanna say this in the post because I again don’t mean to call anyone out but I need to say one thing here: #do not drag me into the real v super bullshit. Please #I’m aware I *do* need to watch a real robot show and there are some that do look interesting #but don’t fucking be weird to me for not doing it sooner because some people have #I wouldn’t feel so insecure about a lot of this stuff if people didn’t treat watching specific shows as life or death #I’ll refrain from making any further judgment though because AGAIN I’m not trying to be hostile #just setting my boundaries because this is something I don’t do enough as is

[sentientsky]

it’s saturday night!! u know what that means!! (sitting in front of the computer wrapped in a fairy princess-themed blanket, rewatching the final fifteen and totally 100% not crying not even a little tiny bit)

#Oh 💗Crowley💗 nothing lasts forever ✨✨✨ #the neighbours look out their window and see me punting my computer into the upper reaches of the atmosphere #I’m so normal about this show #(<- i say thru gritted teeth leaving claw marks on the edge of the table) #good omens #she should be at the club #nope. she should be crying over two stupid fucking idiots #ineffable husbands #crowley #good omens 2 #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable lovers #ineffable wives #good omens season 2 #go2 #shitpost

[katierosefun]

the last of us seems like an excellent show but i fear i can’t watch it bc tell me why i watched the first 30 minutes of episode 1 last night and then immediately had the most fucked up zombie dreams

#caroline talks #weird ass mashup of the last of us and the boys #where i was with the boys #but then butcher fucking VANISHED so I have no FUCKING clue what he was doing #ily frenchie and kimiko the only two who rushed back for me #and then weirdly i had this super power where like? if i concentrated hard enough? i could tell the runners to? stop and go away? #but I don’t think I was me I think I was someone else #bc my dream had a weird? flashback sequence? where I was this little kid #and this stern faced lady was watching me control a group of runners #anyways flash forward to the present and I’m #at this facility and I���m training with a bunch of ? kids? teens? #and they’re joking about how ‘ohhh look i’m a clicker haha’ #and then two of the kids go down to the basement and i follow them #of course they freeze and i look and there are a bunch of runners down there #so I do my thing and slowly draw them out of the basement and towards the exit of the facility #when a bunch of other people in the facility #start to think this means omg the runners are normal now! #and start to grab their kids and leave and I was gesturing for the others to keep those idiots AWAY like NOOO they’re not safe! #but ofc no one was listening and for some fucking reason STAN EDGAR IS THERE #and Stan Edgar just pleasantly smiles and lets those idiotic parents leave #and he’s just like ‘there’s nothing you can do for them now’ #anyways. we close the gates and i stare at the windows and butcher (finally back ig?) tells me to not look at the windows #which is very ooc of him on my dream I think but man. #oh and then my dream has another flashback sequence #of a little girl and her brother grocery shopping with their mom #and in the checkout line the mom starts to show signs of being infected #but only the brother knows #and the sister figures it out too and she can’t look at her mom #and they all follow the mom to the car and sit in the backseat #and the girl just quietly cries and JESUSSSSS YEAH SORRY BESTIES the last of us seems great but uhhhh NIGHTMARES

[obstinaterixatrix]

I know the language is out of date but sometimes when I’m vibrating out of my skin I think to myself ‘I *am* a little insane there *is* something wrong with me’ like words of affirmation. genuinely and sincerely it helps me calm down.

#my ramblings #I know there’s a lot of pushback against calling yourself an idiot and sometimes I need to keep myself in check w that #but also. sometimes I need someone to take me by the shoulders and go like yeah being an idiot is a human thing to be #listen I have an ego I have probably normal enough self-esteem (functional?) it’s just like this sometimes #also if someone else said any of that I’d go for the throat. shut the fuck up only I’m allowed to say that about me.

[pepperpixel]

These lyrics, from the antlers songs “Kettering” and “Sylvia”. Fucking hit me so hard. The entire album hits me so fucking hard. (Aside from the bits where the whole. Toxic Relationship / Domestic abuse metaphor thing is rlly obvious. Because fucking. I CANT relate to being happy she’s gone. Sure taking care of her was difficult and stressful. And drained out so much of me. BUT I STILL. I wish so fucking badly she was still alive. If she survived. We could have set something up. Gotten her in physical therapy or hired a qualified live in caretaker. It would have been. Things would have been better then they’d been. If she lived. I wouldn’t have been crushed under that stress.. so. Yeah the whole hospice album rlly fucking hurts to listen to. (Mostly Kettering, Sylvia, Shiva and Epilogue) But. Certain things are jarringly unrelatable lol.)

But yeah. These two lyrics. At the end. I was basically the only person she could stand. But she would still get upset with me. And the feeling. The crushing feeling of hopelessness and failure when I couldn’t do the shit she wanted me to do. When I couldn’t lift her up. When I couldn’t make it better. It was terrible. And in the hospital. The last time I fucking spoke to her. All I could do was stand there pathetically. And do NOTHING to help her. And say I was fucking “sorry”. I could barely understand most of the things she said. And I could barely do anything to help her. So most of our conversation was me saying sorry till she fucking told me to get out and send in my aunt. And it’s like… the next time I went to go see her. When she died about 5 minutes after we got to the hospital. I managed to say some nice words to her fucking corpse. That made me feel a little better at the time. But looking back on it just feels fucking pathetic. Why couldn’t you say anything of substance to her when she was still alive!!!! Why were you so petrified and scared of being not enough that you couldn’t even TRY to have a conversation? Why why why?!?! What’s your fucking problem!?!?!

#pepper words #the day she went to the hospital. she was in more pain then I’d ever seen her. and SHE STILL WAS FUCKING #SO MAD I CALLED THE AMBULANCE #I was so torn about calling them because I kNEW she would hate it. she wouldn’t want to go. but she NEEDED TO #I couldn’t help her. #she asked me to help her sit up a few times that day. and I was. a fucking idiot #I just wanted to do what she wanted me to do. so hopefully it would help. #but. when I tried to fucking help her sit up that day. it was harrowing.. it was fucking. awful #I wAS NOT QUALIFIED TO DO THAT SHIT #but I just wanted to help… I didn’t want to make her upset. which is why I hesitated to call. cuz I knew she fucking hated the hospital #and she always downplayed shit so she’d never have to go. saying she just needed some more time. she’d get better soon. it was nothing #not a big deal. I don’t know why your worrying so much Mariah I’m fine #when I tried to help her sit up that day. she like. went fucking unresponsive. for over a minute probably #I looked into her eyes and said her name and asked her if she was ok and she just stared at me #and then when she started responding again SHE STILL ACTED LIKE EVERYTHING WAS FINE #I just. I wish. I wish my grand pop would have still been alive. he would have taken her to the hospital. even if she didn’t want to go #he could always convince her before when things were normal #I was too fucking. scared of upsetting her. to put my foot down. I believed when she downplayed. #I didn’t want to get into a huge argument. I TRIED To argue to start. but she never fucking budged #and it was like. unthinkable to like. directly go against her wishes and something I knew she didn’t want. #so I stopped arguing. cuz I was a fucking idiot. #the only reason the ambulance even COULD take her is cuz she couldn’t even move her hands enough to sign the fucking paper #that’s like ‘I kno I should go to the hospital but I’m refusing to’ she COULDNT DO TGAT #so even tho the ambulance guys were like ‘we can’t take her if she doesn’t want to go’ they did just take her. cuz she was. it was bad #but I’m like. if I had called the ambulance any earlier.. would she have gone? probably. not. idk. maybe there’s nothing I could do #I just wish things could have been different

[marybatson]

like just a stream of consciousness thought rn but I don’t think I can ever peacefully read fanfiction based on hero comics bc it genuinely bothers me when people do a big cast scene and only get maybe 1 or 2 ppl who are obviously their only faves correct (close to it) in characterization bc they don’t bother to be respectful of the other ppl so just make them caricatures of what they think they’re like bc they’ve never read their comic in their life. genuinely breaks me out of the immersion. no offense if u don’t know anything abt a character except how they’re portrayed in like idk the animated movies and still write them idk what to tell u. maybe just care about the world ur writing for more js..

#like trying to read stories w clark or diana or bruce but enduring the fucking ooc justice league ppl.. LIKE IM SCARED #and it’s funny bc even if u haven’t read the history for a single char even someone who’s read a comic in their life would know they’re #being portrayed wrong #anyway I don’t even know why I #am saying all this I don’t even read ff anymore #also this isn’t even saying don’t write big hero casts bc that’s the one thing tht I love abt hero comics just like. be nuanced #I’m just catapulted back whenever I tried to read jl stories way back when and cap marvel was a genuine idiot child or like idk #they’d make guy gardner fully immersed to his jli / super buddies self it was soooo cringeeee #and I don’t even stan guy like tht but it was genuinely weird to experience 0 nuanced characters like leave that to comic writers damn!!! #it’s possible to write somebody having only read like 1 or 2 things they were in and be ok .. just be normal about them it’s all I ask..