#I’m tired and in some mood

[honeypleasejustkillme]

“it gets better, i promise”

yea right, stop fucking lying to me

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #it doesn’t get better you just get used to the pain #i’m so tired of that bullshit response #it’s so fucking annoying because it literally doesn’t #maybe for some people it truly does but i’m not one of those people #i’ve been waiting for it to get better for years but it just got worse

[calamari-minecraft-corner]

I’m trying really hard not to be bitter about what’s going on here.

Trust me I am.

But- the amount of dismissive shit I’ve seen and the amount of like- hypocrisy is really frustrating.

I’m not gonna go into too much detail but I’ve had shit similar happen to me semi recently and it resulted in cutting close friendships and people dismissing me fully about what happened to me, especially on the more intimate and financial side of stuff. And its… really fucking disheartening seeing the same thing happen with this.

There’s a point where you have to realize that you can’t dismiss or excuse the action’s of someone else- especially if it involves abuse like this. I’ve only realized it when my beloved got involved and that made me break everything off.

I’m so fucking proud of Shubble for speaking out, I know how terrifying it is especially when it’s someone who has people who like them to a big degree.

You can’t say “we support all victims!” When you dismiss or even insult someone’s claims that involve someone you admire or even look up to.

You can be cautious, sure. You can be wary and be unsure. But do not be a fucking dick and a weirdo about it. You’re part of the god damn problem if you are.

#I’m sorry if the wording is off #I’m really fucking tired the last two weeks have been horrible for me irl #I’m sorry for bringing the mood down I just need to say my piece on the matter #again this just hits really close to home for me and I feel like I’m reliving some shit from the amount of people trying to dismiss this #cala rambles #negative

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Just applied for a summer childcare position (like for a camp type thing) that pays 20–28 dollars an hour based on qualifications (I should be towards the end of that scale because I work in a school; and the only requirement the job lists is to be 16 and have experience with children). So hopefully they’ll consider me. That would be wonderful.

#I hate applying for jobs so much. Everyone uses a different website that makes you sign up for newsletters that clog your email #that you have to manually unsubscribe to #But yeah that’s way more than I get paid as a para lol #which is kind of sad because being a para or teacher is a lot more strenuous and complex than supervising kids during structured play #Because usually the kids enjoy stuff like rock climbing and swimming #so you don’t have to guide them through ten different layers of mental gymnastics to complete their work #or sometimes physically keep them from leaving the learning area after every problem they complete #(of course I do the last thing very gently; and I don’t like having to carry kids from under tables back to their seats #but they’re not going to learn anything if they stay underneath tables all day long… that kind of defeats the purpose of being in school. #I give a lot of verbal warnings before too. Some kids just refuse to learn all the time regardless of their mood because it’s funny to them #Anyway: Kids should not be playing video games past bedtime on a fucking Oculus Rift #Like seriously the tech withdrawal in some of these babies is palpable #Horrifying #Anyway this summer job will be a breeze if I get it #Hopefully no one will be begging me for chromebooks during rock climbing #(I know it sounds like I’m irritated with the kids; and I am. But it’s more irritation with their parents letting them become addicted #to iPads for the sake of convenience; and also frustration directed at capitalism that makes the parents so tired #that they let the iPad babysit their kids so they can rest. It’s the whole system man. It’s fucked.)

[anto-pops]

“Hmm. My steering wheel alignment is a little janky all of a sudden, wonder what it could be.”

*It was me driving the rim of my tire into the ground because I had a flat*

#at least I have an excuse to leave work early now #gotta go drop money on a new tire and steel myself for the inevitable upcharge they’ll hit me with cause I’m a WOMAN #I’m not handing over my credit card without a fight #for some reason when bad things happen my mood improves what does that mean #I think I’m secretly an optimist cause I instantly will find the silver lining in any fucked up situation #a.txt

[arolesbianism]

What a cool cat

#keese draws #oc posting #furry #furry art #furry oc #oc #ocs #oc art #first art post on the new blog babeyyyy #I’m still so sleepy tired tho a combined 13 hours of driving will do that to you fjdhfjdh #also idk if it shows but I’ve been trying a new sketching style recently! #oh ya and my family is on vacation rn so expect me to be a bit tired sounding a lot lol #I’m already soooo drained and we’ve bared done anything #but! I got to eat some REALLY good shrimp so hashtag winning #I think we’re going to eat at another place before we go home and I think they have shrimp too so I’m excited #I’m hoping they have breaded shrimp since the last shrimp was rly rly good but I’m in the mood for a good crunch #also tried some clam chowder for the first time and it was ok #I think I would have liked it more if I had smth good to dip in it #we also had lobster and it was so flavorless my dude like wow #but the stake that came with it was rly good and we also got some yummy desert #first time I’ve ever not hated a cheesecake so I’d say it was good #speaking of yummy food tonight we’re having a beef roast and I’m sooo excited it’s one of my favorite meals #I’ve been smelling it for the past several hours I’m going to destroy those potatoes yummy yum #ok enough

[serizawashugenaturals]

i literally want to cry i cannot sleep w *herrrrr

#*willow takes up my entire bed this is what’s evil bout little dogs theyll always take #up more space than needed like little girl…this is a twin 😭😭 it’s only meant for me !!! #ik i shldve cleaned her cage before bedtime but i was just not in the mood to deal w puke and shit covered blankets #bc she wanted to eat shit she’s not supposed to outside and give herself a stomach ache #i’m not gonna get any sleep before work and she won’t even let me sleep on the floor like #i’m willing to give up my bed for some space and she does not want it i love her but #this is insane i’m actually upset #do i spend an hour cleaning her cage to get an hour of sleep or just don’t sleep at all neither is a fun #option but i’m so tired and genuinely wanna cry #emetophobia #<- in tags #ribbit #text post

[mockingmolly]

why does thinking about the things I need to do use up like 90% of the energy allocated to actually do the things I was thinking about needing to do lol

#sivsi speaks. #idk man I’m just perpetually tired for some reason #and u know the feeling of trying to dig out a pit of loose sand where all you’re really doing is sifting and raking your hands through it? #thats the mood #the mood of life

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Me watching lesbian women and bisexual women go at each other online

#I’m tired man #I’m so unbelievably over discourse #let me lick 🐱 in peace I swear to god #meet in the middle please #yes some bisexual women are lesbianphobic #yes some lesbians are biphobic #you meet any group of any type of people anywhere in the world and there will be people in that Group who are mean to people in another #group #I’m so tired though #it genuinely makes me hate myself and being lesbian so much because I’m just OVER it I’m so sick of seeing it everywhere all the time #I want to be straight and ignorant so I don’t have to deal with it lol #I know given everything that’s going on I’m just very sensitive and in a horrible mood #because everything feels horrible right now #but still oh my gosh #it’s like watching two rabid dogs just go at each other #so much anger and violence and I’m over it #I just want to find a wife and ditch the whole lgbt community as a whole so I don’t have to see or hear about another piece of discourse #for as long as I live - and even that won’t be soon enough lol

[eenochian]

STRANGLING MY BRAIN

#WHY has my mood been in THE ABSOLUTE DUMPS SINCE 2AM #3 1/2 HOURS OF THIS #i’ve had a GOOD day. a GREAT day even. #have i felt well?? no!! i’m in pain and tired!! #but have i had a wonderful day nonetheless?? YES!! #i’ve talked to so many friends whom i adore and even done some writing… #*gripping shoulders* so why. why am i obsessively thinking about my father. why am i feeling disgusted w/ myself and guilty for eating #‘oh you ate TWO meals and a snack instead of one meal and nothing else. disgusting.’ like HELLO⁉️ #*sigh* i’m really trying to cheer myself up. it works for 5 mins before i crash again. fucking hate it here. hate my brain. hate my body. #<- both are bitches. why can’t i just have a normal day and be happy.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

so i had a couple ocs as a kid (made for a story that i never wrote a lot for) and i haven’t drawn any of them since i was like. 14. so it’s been a hot minute but anyway i realized the other day that out of the 5 main cast i have gotten 3 of their haircuts. i remember vaguely thinking that one character always seemed to have the haircut i wanted and i had that haircut for years but recently i got rid of that haircut and had another one’s haircut then i changed it a bit and dyed it and now i have another one’s. so i’m like man 12 year old me had great taste in haircuts. i should go down the list and do them all

#sometimes i think i should redraw the characters but then i’d want to redevelop their story bc it’s not to my taste atm and that’s a #lot of effort but i might do it anyway who knows #but i’d have to open my box that deals psychic damage (the sketchbooks in there are so soaked with alcohol that opening the box #makes me nauseous lmao) for refs. hmmmm. i dunno #the characters don’t really speak to me anymore their whole dynamics and designs aren’t to my taste i’d have to *really* re-do #everything but hm. maybe #though perhaps i should just start from scratch. i wouldn’t mind having ocs again. idk #also on unrelated news i have purchases 4lbs of baking soda to mix with my acrylic paints i want to see what kinda texture i can #get out of it because i! am! in! the! mood! to! paint! #but unforch i have to sleep? taking away my valuable painting time? ridiculous but i think i’m going to legit pass out at some point #i’ve been getting real tired of sleeping #well. i love sleeping but i feel like it’s wasting all my time because i always seem to sleep 10-16 hours a night which is ridiculous #that’s so much time i’m wasting i have shit to do man so i’ve been staying up 24-34ish hours once every week or so to make up for lost #time but still i feel like i am making this all worse because now i can’t even fall asleep + it’s been messing w my mood but i don’t #know how to fix it #anyway that was way off topic goodnight i think i’m going to bed now bye

[pizzaqueen]

Anyone got any recs for movies about two dudes falling in love where they actually stay together at the end please??

#i don’t mind sad gay movies but it’s not what I’m in the mood for rn #and okay not every break up is sad but I just want some happy or hopeful romance!!! #I need something new to add to my rotation of faves #I’m too tired to list the ones I’ve seen because it’s a not insignificant amount #misc

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

#I actually had interesting things from last night I wanted to share with you #but honestly now it just feels like what’s the point #you sent me barely a few sentences and some of that was literally about the weather #you don’t send me anything else through the whole day like I would usually do with you #so why should I even bother sending more than a few sentences back? #why should I bother trying to carry our conversations if you won’t help me with the burden? #friendship is a two way street you have to walk together #but you’re kinda just standing on your own end expecting me to come to you it seems #I didn’t want to start the day angry but I’m already tired and hungry and in pain #I shouldn’t let you effect my mood so much but you mean too much to me and I care too deeply and now I’m stuck #I know I’ll be fine later on once I get to work but right now I’m just annoyed #you couldn’t think of anything else to say to me? the entire day? you couldn’t figure something out? #personal

[gatheryepens]

Week three is over and my a levels are complete here comes the long summer :)

#studyblr #aaaah I finally finished #this week was rough let me tell you mentally #the exams for this week were fine #I was just so drained for the first 3 days as the exams were back to back #and I was tired #but I’m glad it’s over #and I’m proud of myself for getting through it #my last exam was chem paper 3 which was too bad #some parts were really nice especially the six markers #but there were some yucky q’s #biggest jumpscare was when I saw a 9 marker in chem paper 2 #but it’s over now which I’m so relieved #I can finally sleep #but to celebrate my friends and I ate chips and I baked some cookies for my fellow chem friends #I think I really increased the mood with the cookies #but I’m really gonna miss some of my teachers #like my biology teacher saw me in sixth form and she was like [MYNAME]last exam wooo #she’s so cute #my friend and I have a running joke that I’m the favourite because she treats us differently 😭😭 #and I had a little moment with my form tutor #it was awkward but wholesome at the same time my friends were laughing in the back #but yeah not gonna miss some of my peers #and teachers like my inorganic chem teacher who was off for like 2 weeks 😭😭😭 #ironically I am gonna miss studying chemistry I LOVE CHEMISTRY 🥰 #but yeah not studying feels really weird hehe #but doing four exams in one week was rough #I also thought chem was last exam but I think it’s RS so if anyone does RS best of luck ❤️ #gatherrambles #g/alevels

[mycharmingpalsqna]

I think I’ve gone bonkers

I’ve literally spent the last two days writing a FIFTH-TEEN PAGE essay, about my theories and notes on welcome home, I think I’ve gone crazy..(crazy? I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room, a rubber room filled with rats, rats make me crazy.)

#silly goofy mood #welcome home #partycoffin #wally darling #welcome home project #welcomehomearg #yippie #I’m tired someone get me some coffee #I don’t even like coffee- #Oh whatever #hehehehe :3 #im insane in the membrane #Insane in the brain #crazy? i was crazy once #they locked me in a room #a rubber room #a rubber room filled with rats #rats make me crazy

[kicktwine]

the past three or four media ive engaged with have all had posts made about them saying well the writers probably arent smart enough for ______ or the writers didnt do this on purpose but ______ or dont get your hopes up the writers wouldnt make these connections and i think thats enough!!! i have had enough bashing of well-meaning writers i have had enough of it from now on every writer is so so smart and everything they do is intentional and flawless and if i think a writing decision is stupid or the direction they went is bad no i dont and im gonna kiss each and every one of them on the mouth

#kipspeak #so what if its true!!!!!!!!! it comes across as twitter prefacing #where you have to be absolutely sure to cover all your bases in a thin sense of irony or acknowledgement of the flaws before admitting #that you like something or something stood out to you or you noticed something. so what if they didnt mean to!!! #unironically like things write something yourself play in the space change it go nuts #like this isnt to say to stop criticising things but for the love of pete! these are bad sentences! theyre mean! #and no one gets to reblog this just in case it leaves my circle of influence #I don’t know what I’d do if someone came in to this post with a thought-out argument about bnha or iron man or something #yes there are dumb writers. no that’s not important… don’t you see… they’re creating something! You can do that too! #you can!!! And you can make something amazing!! #also unless you’ve tried scriptwriting or longform writing I don’t wanna hear it #I know in the past I’ve said some of these things myself… but I’m tired. i prefer to play with the stuff I’m given anyways #I LOVE to analyze and reconfigure things. But I have to be in a specific mood/mindset/distance to do it #maybe That part is a me thing. but! That doesn’t change the point which is this is rude for no reason #i think nomura has never done anything wrong and every decision he’s ever made is a masterpiece of fiction now what. now what

[sikyurame]

I’m this close to screaming

#another vague vent post sorry #but I’m sick and tired of some of the people I’m working with #I’m trained to keep people safe but APPARENTLY that’s thrown out the window once the lap bar is down and the higher ups don’t want delays #but what do I know I’m just a lowley ride operator #I was finally getting better but now I’m back to a bad mood please end my misery at this point #just ignore this I wanna complain