#I’ve had it done 3 times in the past BUT THIS FOURTH ONE WAS THE WORST!

[sortagaysortahigh]

Still Into You | Eddie Munson

A/N: Hi besties, here she is, my first Eddie Munson enemies to lovers(ish) fic, this is definitely way longer than expected and honestly it’s been a hot minute since I’ve sat down and finished a fic so thank you to the Stranger Things Gods for bringing me out of my writing hiatus. This fic also has a Black coded reader because she’s a Sinclair, however it can be ready by anyone regardless of race or ethnicity <3 ALSO THIS IS SPOILER FREE!

Summary: As enemies or as lovers, they were fine with either, after all fourth grade left a lasting impact on them both.

Warnings: Cussing, spelling and grammatical errors (sorry baes I don’t believe in editing), slight angst, mention of drugs + drug dealing, mentions of on going insecurity, slight mentions of violence, mentions of p*rn*gr*phy (i.e, the adult video section at movie rental places), and the reader being a bitch (as she should)

Word Count: 12.5k (she’s a long one, at least for me)

Eddie Munson x Sinclair!Fem!Reader

Every Thursday Y/n Sinclair had a routine, it was a simple routine, she would wake up at seven in the morning and be ready by eight-by ready that typically meant her hair would be done but she would throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, sometimes pants depending on the weather outside. After that she drove her younger siblings to school, dropping Erica off first, then Lucas.

Some days Lucas stayed over at one of his friends' houses-so she’d just drop Erica off. Then she’d make her way back home, stopping by the local donut shop to pick up her favorite chocolate glazed donut with sprinkles-the sprinkles were a necessity. 

After that she made her way to the local library, spending the day studying and completing any assignments or research she’d been procrastinating on. She’d always been a great student-however when things came down to it she couldn’t afford to go to college out of state alongside the fact that she didn’t want to go to college both played a key role in her decision to pursue an Associates of Arts degree at the local community college a town over. 

Once she finished at the library 1pm was rolling around-meaning she would make her way across town to the Hawkins Middle School parking lot, where she’d read for around half an hour before Erica and her posse of obnoxious attitude ridden eighth graders would follow her-sometimes begging for a ride home from the eldest Sinclair while trying to win her over with flattery-to which she’d roll her eyes and tell the younger girls to get it. 

By the time she finished dropping off Erica’s friends they’d looped back around to Hawkins to pick up Lucas. However her routine changed today when Lucas hadn’t come out on time-rather an hour passed before Y/n left the car with Erica in tow and walked throughout the school while peaking into the different club meetings trying to find him. 

Of course most older sisters would simply assume he’d joined a club, and would’ve turned around and driven home-however after the past two years they had-she had to make sure he hadn’t decided to go on another supernatural ‘chasing monsters’ adventure with Dustin and Mike. 

When she realized where he was-she regretted even stepping foot into the school-trying to usher Erica away from the slightly ajar classroom door full of teenage boys playing Dungeons and Dragons in a somewhat dark room lit by faux candles. Of course she wasn’t mad at Lucas, Mike, or Dustin, actually she was happy they found a place at the highschool after their first month of complaining about being losers in combination with Y/n having to go to the school and tell off a few of the junior and senior girls that decided they had the right to bully her younger brothers. 

”Girl get off of me, you’re not my mother, stop trying to push me down the hallway! When did you get so strong anyways, what are you a damn linebacker?” 

One thing about Erica Sinclair was that she could never keep her mouth shut-granted she’d picked the habit up from her eldest sister-and in times like this it really showed.

“You’re gonna embarrass us if you don’t stop trying to act like hot shit, you have literal bright pink bows in your hair, shut it up and start walking before I drag you by those uneven pigtails-you need to let mom do your hair instead of trying to do it yourself.” her younger sister gasped, eyes wide, jaw dropped, as she processed her sister’s words-however before Erica could formulate a response the door they were a foot away from swung open.

“Can you two take your little argument somewhere else-we’re in the middle of a campaign here-wait a second-Sinclair?” before she could respond to him-the sound of Lucas’s voice was heard “Yeah Eddie?” the tall brunette quickly looked behind him into the room “not you-your sister” with that he turned back to face Y/n who was now clenching her jaw in annoyance while pushing Erica away by placing a hand on her sister’s face and shoving her slightly.

“Now to what do I owe the honor? The retired Queen of Hawkins High herself-Y/n Sinclair in my presence” she scoffed, now crossing her arms across her chest while watching Eddie’s theatrics, he now placed one arm behind his back-the other in front of his chest while bowing before her, the smirk on his face evident as he stood back up-stepping closer then leaning against the door frame.

It was no secret that Y/n was deemed as the Queen of Hawkins High throughout the later years she attended the school, however it wasn’t something that she formed her personality around, nor was it something that she openly embraced. Truth be told the entire reason she was so ‘popular’ was simply because she was an athlete. The girl was a varsity cheerleader for four years, and she’d won homecoming princess her junior year when the cheerleaders practically forced her to run, which followed with homecoming queen her senior year and she ran for Prom Queen after Nancy and Steve were committed to making sure Carol wouldn’t win.

People liked Y/n, she was real, and she wasn’t a bully like most of the self proclaimed ‘royalty’ of Hawkins high. She was the only person that would put a stop to the endless bullying and teasing that everyone witnessed at the hands of Tommy, Carol, and their mindless minions-hell the girl was known for punching Tommy in the face their junior year after he tried to corner Nancy Wheeler. 

However, Y/n didn’t like people-she wasn’t a people person by choice, she did what she had to, to make her high school experience more enjoyable. She wasn’t going to let anyone walk all over her-hence her efforts to ensure the same thing would not happen to her younger brother-and the other two that she basically co-parented with Steve Harrington. 

People always called Y/n their friend although she did not reciprocate the same energy or friendship. She viewed friendship as something important and close to her heart-hence the reason her personal social circle was so small. Yeah the girl used to smile and wave at anyone who glanced her way, even continuing conversations that were randomly sparked on a whim to see if the ‘queen B was as nice as they say she is’, of course there were also the people who saw through the nice facade she’d built up.

People like Eddie Munson. She couldn’t stand him, he was always two steps ahead of her, cutting her off mid sentence, or making small slick comment such as ‘you don’t really like them as much as you say you do huh’ or ‘y’know I like you better when you’re being a stone cold bitch y/n’ and of course her favorite ‘Here yee, here yee, the Queen has arrived’. 

The two of them had grown up in Hawkins, paths always crossing one way or another. They’d been neighbors for a short period of time before his Mom skipped town, then of course the fact that his Uncle and Y/n’s father fought in the Vietnam war together meant that every now and then her father would ask ‘how’s that Munson boy-Wayne gave me a real show at Poker night last week’ or something along the lines of that, but as the years went by her father asked less and less about Eddie.

That didn’t mean the boy wasn’t around her, being a pesky nuisance. He painted himself as a social reject, and when Tommy decided to label him as Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson he went along with it, and sure Y/n did jump in to defend Eddie when his name was brought up in conversation with the group but that didn’t mean she liked him, it was simply because she defended everyone who’s name was thrown around by the town douchebags. 

“Oh fuck off Munson. I just needed to know where my brother was, and now that I do-what time do you nerds wrap this up? Figure I’ll take my two other children home too” He furrowed his brows for a second before nodding his head.

All the while Erica just looked between the two, her brows knit together while she tried to piece how her sister knew Eddie-and why he looked like he was in love with her older bitchier sister. Then again, Y/n looked like she wanted to bite his head off like the praying mantises Erica learned about in her science class last year.

“Oh come on, you shouldn’t talk to your ex boyfriend like that princess! We were practically in love y’know” Y/n scoffed, nostrils flaring as she furrowed her brows and frowned slightly, the evident look of disgust on her features only making Eddie smile more as he ignored the continuous protests from his fellow club members all complaining about continuing the campaign instead of watching Eddie flirt with Lucas’s sister.

“Munson, we “dated” for two weeks in the fourth grade. Once again, fuck off” He placed a hand over his heart, leaning forward slightly, letting out a dramatic sigh before standing back up, raising his left brow-the look almost challenging her. 

“Y’know Sinclair-you can admit that you like having me around-probably even miss me sometimes” His confident tone set Y/n off, her fists clenched at her sides now as she let out a deep breath, closing her eyes for a few moments before opening them again-the few seconds that her eyes were closed Eddie wasted no time in taking in her entire appearance-the baggy ‘Hawkins Cheerleading’ t-shirt in combination with her daisy dukes that were just short enough but not too short had his lips slightly parted.

“Aw how sweet, you think I actually want you breathing my air? I’d rather get jumped by four large Russian men in an underground tunnel while being drugged” The memory had Erica’s brows knit together once again, glancing up at her older sister with a look of shock on her face. Of course Erica knew that anyone who hadn’t been there wouldn’t understand it-but she still remembered seeing her older sister getting dragged down that cold metal hallway as she crawled through the air vents above. 

Eddie looked visibly confused, nodding his head a few times while puckering his lips. Something about Y/n had always made his heart race, after all she was his first crush ever-and his first girlfriend-not to mention his first kiss. Although it was chaste and didn’t last very long-he still remembered it and he knew she did as well.

“That’s oddly specific princess-but if you want to play hard to get then so be it-I love a good challenge” she scoffed, her jaw dropping slightly before she rolled her eyes and shoved past him, their shoulders bumping as she walked into the classroom, all of the Hellfire club members now looking at her while she let out a deep sigh, her eyes searching for Lucas-and when they made eye contact her younger brother looked mortified.

“Okay dorks, since your almighty lord and savior Edward won’t tell me when your campaign ends-when does it end” it seemed as if all of the guys in the room were afraid of her as she stood there, blinking a few times, brows raised, moving her hands together in a ‘wrap it up’ circular motion as she waited for someone to answer her. 

“Y/n-haha about the time thing-it ends at 8” she looked taken aback for a moment as Dustin answered her, and that only made his eyes widen when he processed that today was Thursday. On Thursday nights at eight she went to the local diner to get a milkshake with Robin. She’d been doing it for months at this point-and everyone knew it was a part of her Thursday routine-something she valued.

“Oh shit it’s Thursday” Mike spoke next, glancing between Lucas and Dustin, the three of them now staring at each other looking frantic. Part of her was irritated by the abrupt interruption to her entire Thursday routine, but the other part was happy they were happy-granted she would prefer their happiness without Munson.

“Sorry uh-Y/n-not to ask a stupid question but uh is that everything you need? We’re kind of at a really important moment-not to like upset you or anything” she sighed, glancing at Gareth, taking a moment to roll her shoulders back while he spoke-trying to appear more relaxed and less irritated. She knew she was technically barging in on their club meeting and of course no one appreciates an abrupt pause-sure she wanted to wring Eddie’s neck for even assuming that he had a chance with her to have anything other than a ‘Hi Princess’ ‘Fuck off Munson’ relationship with her, but that was no excuse to be a bitch to any of the guys.

“Gareth-it’s cool, I’ll go, sorry for the barging in and shouting in the hallway-she’s just an overactive ass-” Erica scoffed from the doorway “and you’re a loud mouthed jester” Y/n took a moment to glance over her shoulder, ignoring the way Eddie’s eyes immediately snapped up from her ass to her face. “-shut it before I drop you off in the middle of the woods at night” 

“Anyways, me and the mouse over there are leaving. Lukiepooh, Mikeybear, and Dustybun I’ll see you at eight-promptly or you’re next on my shit list. I gotta go reschedule my date with Rob now-bye nerds'' She spoke in a playful tone, all of the guys exchanged looks outside of Eddie, the way she said ‘nerds’ or ‘dork’ was never malicious, rather she smiled at them before turning around, flashing Eddie another dirty look on the way out.

She hadn’t expected him to follow behind her, but Erica cleared her throat, causing Y/n to turn back slightly, pausing her steps.

He stopped walking too, a few feet away from the Sinclair sisters, brows furrowed while he wrapped one arm around his waist, the other moving so that his hand could grab his hair, slightly pushing it towards his face-the motion made him look somewhat shy or even nervous and that confused Y/n.

“So you uh-have a date?” she shrugged “Is that a concern to you Munson?” something about him always bothered her, even now when he looked-well he looked like that. She could never describe it-even when she still attended Hawkins-anytime they crossed paths, made eye contact across a classroom or the cafeteria, or even when she’d stop Tommy from bothering him and his friends-there was always something else there-something that was undeniable yet unexplainable and that only bothered her more.

“I feel like it should be, after all I am after your heart” she scoffed, rolling her eyes then turned around, grabbing Erica’s arm and pulling her to walk while responding “whatever Munson”.

The car ride was mostly silent until Erica realized the two of them were at Family Video-not their neighborhood. Then she finally sat up in the Jaguar’s leather front seat, shifting her body to face her older sister.

“What the hell was that!” y/n glanced at Erica, letting out a small sigh as she shifted her thick voluminous blown out curls away from her face. “It was nothing okay.” the youngest Sinclair shook her head “You’re such a liar! He’s so into you!”

“Yeah sure he is Erica, he’s just an ass that likes to annoy me.” Erica shook her head, pursing her lips while raising a brow at her sister “Ain’t no way! The way he was staring at you! You’re lying! It doesn’t take some super genius to see that” 

Y/n groaned, rolling her eyes and opening the car door, forcing Erica to follow suit as they walked into the video store.

Little did she know, across town in the same classroom she’d recently left, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas were all trying to piece things together as well-mostly because when Eddie walked back into the room, he was smiling from ear to ear and there was a slight red flush to his face.

After thirty minutes of whispering between roles, Lucas finally cleared his throat and declared a time out. “Eddie, are you and my sister a thing?” he stared at the older boy “c’mon-what was that? I’ve never seen her like that-like ever and she’s my sister! I’ve known her my entire life!” Lucas sat there, waiting for a response, the other guys at the table nodding their heads before joining the conversation.

Gareth spoke first “Honestly-no offense Lucas-but I expected her to be a bitch. Everyone kind of assumed that she was nice as an act-and I didn’t even know that she knew my name. But that’s probably the meanest I’ve ever seen her be-and she apologized to us?” Jeff nodded alongside one of the other club members.

“That’s true-Y/n’s always been intimidating-when she was here she basically ran the entire school-she decked Tommy H. in the face my freshman year-that shit was terrifying” It was clear that Jeff was thinking of the memory, seeing Y/n pull Tommy back by the right shoulder of his leather varsity jacket and the few seconds that followed were something out of a movie, the sound of Nancy’s ‘Y/n! It’s fine! Stop!’ followed by the sound of Y/n’s fist making contact with Tommy’s jaw almost echoed throughout the hallway. 

Everyone who was there would never forget that moment, especially the way Tommy stumbled back a few steps, blinking while holding his face, slightly hunched over, his lip bleeding and a look of pure shock on his face. The moment followed by Y/n kneeing him in the abdomen to seal the deal before checking on Nancy, her entire demeanor shifted as she made sure her friend was alright.

“That was probably the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen-I wanted to drop down on one knee and propose to her” Eddie spoke, gaining everyone else’s attention as he stared off in the distance, his elbows leaning into the table as his chin rested in the palms of his hands. 

“So you’re telling me this entire time…you and Y/n have known each other?” he nodded his head at Mike’s question. “Yeah, Hawkins isn’t a huge town boys, course I knew Sinclair’s hot mean sister” Before Lucas could respond Mike did, the look of horror on his face “Hey! That’s basically my sister!” 

“Can you please answer the important question here?!” Lucas’s mortified expression didn’t go unnoticed by his fellow club members-sure Eddie and Y/n together would be kind of cool-Lucas looked up to Eddie in a way. He knew Eddie had his flaws, no one who repeated their senior year more than once was perfect-but Eddie had a good heart, and he was a metaphorical king among the ‘nerds’, he took kids under his wing and gave them a space to belong at Hawkins. He wasn’t mad, he was just confused.

“To answer your question, my dear Sundar the Bold, no the Queen and I are not dating, rather she can’t stand me and I’m after nothing but our fair ladies heart and somehow every time I get close-she slips through my fingers.”

That response was all Lucas needed, and based on the way Dustin looked at him, followed by Mike’s look-the three of them were already on board with one another.

That night on the drive home the boys all bombarded Y/n with questions about her relationship-or lack thereof-with their Dungeon Master. So much that she responded to all of them with “Shut the hell up! Yes I know Munson! We’re not friends! We’re not anything! Let the shit go!” then she commenced to ignoring all of them as she pulled into her driveway, all of them walking into the house with Chinese takeout in their hands.

The week that followed she did her best to dodge any questions brought to her, instead she focused more on her priorities and watched the few episodes of Designing Women that she would usually catch up on on Thursdays. She went to her classes, gave a presentation on the male gaze’s impact on historical portraiture that she’d been working on for weeks, and worked her usual shifts at Family Video with Steve and Robin. 

She’d done a great job at avoiding the topic of Eddie Munson, especially because it was as if everywhere she turned, one of the boys or Erica was bringing him up, asking her questions about how they knew each other, what happened in Fourth grade, and how they went from being friends (according to Eddie) to Y/n completely avoiding him as a topic of conversation, and walking right past him during her time at Hawkins High. 

That was until Eddie strolled into Family Video wearing his usual denim vest, leather jacket combo, alongside a pair of fitted black ripped jeans and his worn in docs. His hair was in it’s usual curly messy state and he sported a wide smile on his face the second he noticed Y/n behind the counter rewinding tapes while humming along to the Iron Maiden song playing in the background. 

He knew she hadn’t noticed him-which gave him just enough time to trace his eyes along her figure, her voluminous hair framed her face perfectly, the look of concentration evident on her face-brows knit together in the same way that Lucas’s and Erica’s did, and she stuck her tongue out ever so slightly as her teeth lightly bit down on it, only seen when one really focused on her slightly parted lips. 

He took in the slightly oversized Aerosmith shirt tucked into her black jeans alongside the dark green Family Video vest made him smile-she was so different than most of the girls she’d been grouped together with in school, and even now, he knew she was in school, and he knew that she wanted to pursue art-all things he’d overheard from Lucas’s conversations-things that he kept noted because Eddie Munson was head over heels.

She spun on her heel, grabbing the next bin of tapes that needed to be rewinded, lost in her own world until she dropped a tape, mumbling ‘shit’ while squatting down and picking it up, then when she finally stood up did she notice Eddie leaning against the counter, a dopey smile on his face while he looked at her.

Y/n let out a sigh, placing the tape on the counter next to the VCR and computer, before placing a hand on her hip. 

“What do you want Munson” he raised a brow, the same smile on his face “Do you want my real answer, or do you want the Family Video related answer” she scoffed, rolling her eyes-already having an idea of what he was going to say based on her answer. 

“You look beautiful today M’lady” she nodded her head, now shifting her weight to her left foot while crossing her arms over her chest “Flatter won’t get you far. If you don’t have any returns or rentals, you can go” he nodded his head a few times “what if I want a recommendation”

Before he could open his mouth to speak Y/n was quick to shout for Robin, yelling “Rob! C’mere” while glancing towards the Adult section of the store. Robin had lost their game of rock, paper, scissors which forced her to do the sorting and restocking of their very graphic Adult section-also known as their self proclaimed ‘section of doom’.

Eddie straightened up, fully expecting a man to walk through the beaded curtains, he would finally know who Rob was-and in his head who his competition was. Of course when it came to Y/n his competition was never ending, she had people throwing themselves at her for years-and yet he’d never actually seen her give anyone the time of day except for her ex from sophomore year.

However when the dirty blonde walked through the curtains, swatting at them in a spastic motion while adusting her short bob-cut hair he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Sure women were competition-but Eddie had seen Y/n with Robin before and he knew they were just friends-he just had no idea what her name was. 

“Don’t look too happy, Munson. You want a recommendation, Rob can give you one. I have a job to do” with that she turned back around, doing her best to ignore the almost burning feeling of Eddie’s stare, her gaze focused on the vcr in front of her as she placed a copy of the animated version of Lord of The Rings into the machine, proceeding to rewind it.

Yet when she glanced over at him, he was quick to make eye contact with her while Robin talked about different horror flicks, going on and on about the different genres of horror and what the store had to offer. Y/n loved how much Robin talked, most people were bothered by the girl’s high energy-however she was the straw to Y/n’s berry. The two were like two peas in a pod the second they’d met in the girl’s bathroom Y/n’s junior year.

Robin had been crying about getting rejected, and Y/n was the only person who didn’t ignore the sounds of choked sobs and sniffles coming from the large stall. The two of them ended up sitting on the dingy bathroom floor for two hours together, talking and laughing, Y/n reassuring Robin that whoever rejected her was just an asshole who couldn’t see what was in front of them.

Eventually when she got a job at Scoops Ahoy with Robin, she’d introduced the girl to Steve after forcing Steve to put in a job application-knowing that the boy hadn’t done much since graduation and was living in a post-highschool rut. 

Of course the whole Russians in Hawkins, Mindflare possessions, fighting in the upside down and regular world, plus everything else that had gone on at that god forsaken mall only brought the three closer together, which led them all to applying to the understaffed Family Video 

“These are all amazing recommendations-really but I need to talk to her” he pointed at Y/n, who was back to rewinding tapes and doing her best to alphabetize the box of rewound tapes so it’d be easier for Steve to stock them back on the shelves. She was more focused on figuring out why a copy of Grease wouldn’t properly rewind than she was on Eddie and Robin-which is why the second Eddie lightly smacked the counter to her right she jumped, immediately meeting his stare.

“Jesus Munson, can you not take a hint?” he placed a hand on his chin for a moment, raising a brow and nodding his head, mimicking a thinking pose. “I don’t think so no-not when it comes to the girl of my dreams” she scoffed “yeah okay Munson.” She rolled her eyes, going back to looking at the tape in front of her, popping the front of the black plastic case off of it, groaning at the sight of the tangled tape. 

Before she could try to fix it-something she was terrible at-Eddie reached across the counter-grabbing it from her hands and examining it before he started carefully unraveling the tape, then he started rolling it back around-it seemed so effortless to him-and for the first time in a long time-Y/n found herself staring at him without her usual bitchy expression. 

Her eyes were focused on his hands, watching him fix the tape that would’ve taken her at least half an hour to figure out. 

“You should try dropping the attitude every now and then-it’s a good look on you” she blinked a few times, her gaze now meeting his while he stared at her, a small smile on his lips when she didn’t roll her eyes at him. 

“I don’t have an attitude.” He raised a single brow “mmm I don’t think so, it’s usually there, and you stand all tense with your shoulders raised and jaw clenched. You’ve kind of always stood like that too” she rolled her eyes “I do not stand like that Eddie” the name slipped past her lips before she thought about it, and for a second it felt like Eddie had finally slipped through a crack, that he was finally getting through her walls.

“Yes you do” he mimicked her, raising his shoulders slightly, clenching his jaw and furrowing his brows, then he tilted his head up slightly “This is literally how you walk around, you also cross your arms a lot and occasionally you slightly stand on your toes to seem taller than you are” she tilted her head slightly, somewhat taken aback by how much he actually paid attention to her. 

The two were almost in their own world, both of them too distracted by one another to notice Robin whispering on the store phone a few feet away.

“Yes he’s here-they’re talking and like she seems super into it, she’s not even being mean-and y’know how she stands all stiff and stuff right now she looks totally relaxed” Robin whispered into the phone, glancing over at Eddie and Y/n, her hand cupping the bottom of the phone as she held it against her face, trying her best to keep whispering while she spoke to Dustin, Lucas, and Mike-well technically it was the Wheeler residence’s phone, however the other two were hovering over it as well. 

“We’ve been trying to get her to open up to him! She keeps brushing us off!” Dustin’s voice was heard through the phone while Robin nodded her head, listening as Lucas spoke next “We didn’t think he would actually show up, he kept going on about how she’d kick him out or ignore him” 

“Well I can see why, she’s been ignoring him for years at this point, I feel like we have to figure out why she hates him-because there’s no way she actually hates him-Oh my god-guys-she’s smiling and laughing-I repeat she’s smiling and laughing” 

It took everything in Robin not to start smiling and squealing, she was easily recruited for ‘Operation Fourth Grade to Forever’, granted none of them knew what happened in fourth grade, or why the two went from being friends to Y/n wanting nothing to do with him, but that was the entire point of the operation. Besides they were all looking for something to do-they had more free time on their hands after the gate was closed-so what better way than to help young love blossom.

Y/n found herself laughing at Eddie’s jokes and his mimicking of her uptight posture, she rolled her eyes playfully while taking the fixed tape from his outstretched hand. 

“Thank you, that would’ve taken me hours” he laughed, a small smile on his face “I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I’d let you suffer through that” she let out a small giggle at that, rolling her eyes at his flirty tone as she tried to stop the smile on her face-rather it was her smiling upside down-leading both Eddie and Robin to smile. 

But their moment felt like it was stomped on when Steve rushed into the store, slipping on his vest, making the bell above the door ding back and forth a few times.

“Shit I’m late-sorry guys-got caught up with this girl-” he paused when he noticed Eddie across from Y/n, the both of them now glancing over at him, then his eyes moved to Robin who was still on the phone, but she quickly moved her hand away to make it seem like a casual phone call made to the store. 

“Store’s pretty dead I guess.” his tone shift was evident, and he eyed Eddie, who simply put his hands up in a surrendering motion, then he glanced over at Y/n again “do you want to maybe, hang out, maybe go see Labyrinth sometime?-for uh old times sake” he rushed the last part, heat rushing through his neck, towards his ears, and the red flush slightly moving into his cheeks.

Before she could answer Steve did it for her “she can’t we’re already seeing that with Robin. Sorry Eddie, anything else you need? I can help you” Y/n blinked a few times, usually she’d be thankful that Steve stepped in to essentially cock block him, however, in the moment she felt something-something else. Some part of her was mad at Steve, especially when she noticed the way Eddie’s expression dropped.

“Oh uh, alright, well I’ll see you around Sinclair, cool meeting you Robin!” With that he tried to leave the store in a casual manner, internally he was a mixture of embarrassed, irritated, and oddly enough a sliver of happiness overtook him. That was the first time in years that she’d called him Eddie, not to mention seeing a genuine smile on her face-it was all the hope he needed.

When the door shut Y/n immediately grabbed a random movie from the Adult section returns bin and threw it at Steve. It hit him in the face while he struggled to dodge it, and Robin laughed before hanging up the phone. 

“Are you serious? The hell was that for! You hate Munson!” she scoffed, rolling her eyes “I can answer questions myself Steve, I don’t need you to Mama bear me!” her attitude was back, and her shoulders were tense again, that in itself confused Steve-especially because the group made sure to keep Steve out of the operation, knowing that Steve considered Eddie a ‘bad influence’ and went on tangents about him to Dustin. 

“You’re acting like you actually wanted to go see the movie with him! And really? Throwing ‘Katie Chow takes the big black kong’ at me was unnecessary!” he grimaced at the name of the tape, before tossing it on the counter and making his way behind it. However when he said that Y/n felt an unfamiliar feeling in her stomach, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time-and she had no idea what it was. 

When she hadn’t answered for a few minutes Steve slowly turned to face her, he glanced at Robin who simply shrugged while grabbing another bin of returns and started placing them on the old vinyl countertops.

“Wait-you wanted to go didn’t you!” she scoffed, eyes focused on the rewind button in front of her “I never said that Steve” he nodded “but you also never said you didn’t want to go!” she craned her neck back slightly, rolling her eyes, then returned to her original posture, trying to look more relaxed-now hyper aware of how she stood when she was irritated.

“Holy shit! You did wanna go! You were gonna say yes!” Her scoffs started to sound the same, she did her best to look disgusted at the idea, but she knew she wasn’t fooling Steve or Robin in the moment. “Shut up! I never said that!” he nodded “oh but it’s what you didn’t say that mattered!” she shook her head “Leave me alone! He was just being nice okay! Shit” 

Steve and Robin exchanged a knowing look.

“I don’t think he was the only one being nice” Y/n’s jaw dropped at Robin’s words, she turned to face her and shook her head “Who’s side are you on!” Robin shrugged “whichever side gets you to tell me what happened in fourth grade” 

“It’s not important!” Robin shook her head “clearly it is because you’ve fake hated Eddie since then, like yea he’s kind of a weirdo-but he doesn’t seem like a bad guy-” before steve could interject Robin pointed a finger at him “and you shush it, you’re a shit judge of character” Y/n nodded her head, taking a second to agree with the blonde. 

“Please, it’s not important Rob” Robin raised a brow before nodding, deciding to brush everything off, she also took the opportunity to sneak off into the backroom, using the phone to call the Wheeler household back, telling them to lay off ‘O.F.G.T.F’ for now. 

However, that would only last until the following Friday. 

Everytime Y/n and Eddie had crossed paths they kept their conversation to a minimum, she felt more comfortable just acting as if everything last Wednesday didn’t happen. Instead she went back to her usual facade, keeping everything short. Of course he tried to stop her in her tracks when she was picking up the boys from school, he easily spotted her Jaguar in the parking lot, so he jogged up to it, however she was quick to brush him off-and the entire time she avoided making eye contact with him.

Now it was Friday night, at 8:30, and the boys were all waiting for Y/n to get there, she was slightly late because Fridays were always busy nights. Eddie always stayed after their sessions ended to clean everything up, so when he walked out of the building to see the guys all waiting outside, sitting on the curb, he raised a brow.

“Usually your chauffeur is early, what happened today?” his voice caused the three freshmen to look back, Dustin shrugged while Lucas spoke up. 

“Family Video’s busiest days are Fridays and Saturdays-she’s probably stumped at work, so we just gotta wait” Eddie nodded his head “I’ll take you there if you guys want, vans kind of a mess but hey-it’s probably better than sitting on the cold ass concrete all night while your sister cusses people out at her job” The three boys looked at one another before nodding and getting up off the floor, they’d been in his van before, hell he’d driven them home a few times, however they all knew that if they didn’t show up at her job, or if no one called her the second they got home-which she probably would’ve missed due to being at work or on the road-that she’d freak out.

During the first half of the ride they all spoke about their DND campaign, and even about future campaign ideas, or campaign expansions alongside introducing new characters into the mix. Then Dustin simply word vomited-something he always did.

“Okay I can’t keep it in, Y/n won’t tell us-so please tell us what happened in fourth grade. O.F.G.T.F cannot be successful until we find out why she hates you-or pretends to hate you because based on what Robin told us-she definitely doesn’t hate you. We know people she hates, and she usually does more than just cuss and act all stiff and mean. Usually she resorts to violence-which is probably not a good thing cause like-violence. But I don’t think I know anyone who can fight like she can”

Everyone was silent after Dustin’s rant, Eddie looking at them through the crooked rear view mirror, letting out a deep sigh.

“We dated for like two weeks in the fourth grade, Y’know Sinclair she was my first kiss-even back then she was probably the prettiest girl in our class-not probably-definitely. But uh yeah, it isn’t my place to tell you what happened” Mike scoffed at that.

“Are you shitting me? That’s all we get? We’re trying to get you two together and all you can tell us is she was your first kiss and she was pretty-we all know Y/n’s pretty, she’s always been smokin’ hot-no offense Lucas-but there’s clearly something else there!” 

The three boys-and Robin-were all fed up trying to understand what happened in elementary school between the two of them. All of them knew that Y/n held a mean grudge, she always held grudges, to those who were close with Y/n-it was easy to tell when she didn’t like someone. There was a difference between the few grudges she held versus the people she outwardly hated-and as much as Y/n hated to admit it outloud-her fight or flight had a lot to do with it, and the fight usually took over.

“She has like this grudge against me okay-I tried to talk to her about it-I tried everything! I think I honestly only made it worse, I can’t tell you exactly where I fucked up, but I know a lot of it has to do with that” they all nodded, motioning for him to keep speaking, Dustin going as far as to clear his throat to get him to continue.

“I dunno, it was after our first kiss, it wasn’t like one of those gross first kisses you hear about either, it was really quick, like a peck I guess. Anyways-it happened in the old treehouse at you place Sinclair-I don’t even remember exactly what I said, but I knew it bothered her. Then I tried apologizing but I never did because she didn’t want to talk to me, so I kept on trying to apologize after that for like weeks and never could because she was ignoring me, or she’d tell her dad not to let me around the house. Then we got into this huge fight the first week of summer break, and admittedly I fucked up here-but I was also an immature kid-but I remember shoving her back and she cut up one of her legs on the concrete. I probably said other fucked up shit too, but I know that was back after my mom split-I was definitely the asshole”

He paused, parking the van in front of the Family Video in one of the few empty spots before he took a deep breath.

“She tried to be there for me a few weeks after that, showed up to my uncle's trailer and everything-she rode her bright pink princess bike there, and she brought a bag of gummy bears with her-I guess she figured I wasn’t the happiest after moving and wanted to be nice. I slammed the door in her face. After that she stopped talking to me overall, and as the years went by when I tried talking to her she just got bitchier and bitchier. Granted-it’s kinda hot-so when we were like fifteen I started doing shit to bother her-cause I knew I’d get a reaction. But that’s what happened in fourth grade-she can probably go more into detail”

Lucas furrowed his brows, he knew his older sister had a scar on the side of her left calf, over the years it’d gotten smaller as she’d gotten taller, however it was still there to this day, and anytime he asked about it growing up y/n would reply with “I fell, don’t worry it’s fine Lucas, besides scars make you look badass” 

He knew she added in the last part to reassure him that all of the scars he had from falling and scraping his arms and legs up were fine and that he shouldn’t care about how they look. The more Lucas thought about it, the more he realized that sure his sister was definitely a bitch, but she was also the reason that Lucas had some self esteem-and she was the reason Erica had the self esteem of a God. Y/n worked hard to make sure her younger siblings were comfortable in their own skin-just as she did with everyone that was close to her.

By the time they all left the van and made their way into the video store, they could see Y/n arguing with an older man, he looked to be in his forties, and he was arguing with her over what seemed to be overdue copies of films that stopped him from being able to rent anything else.

“Listen, if you return the damn movies, I’ll rent you the new ones. You have four that have late fees on them because they were due two weeks ago, you don’t return the movies, you don’t get shit from here. It’s a simple fucking rule”

The older man scoffed at her, causing her to crane her neck back slightly, brows raised, and a smirk forming on her face.

“That’s never been the case before, I don’t need some teenage brat trying to tell me what I can and can’t do. I turned in the films, it’s not my fault your shitty staff can’t keep track of anything. Where the hell is your manager anyways-clearly you don’t need a job working in customer service when you can’t talk to people”.

She slammed her hand on the countertop in front of her, and it clearly startled the older man.

“Wow, if only the fucking manager was actually here to deal with your shit, so sorry sweetheart but he’s not here because he never is, and for the record you old asshole, I’m twenty, so if you’re gonna call me a brat at least get my age bracket correct. Now, you didn’t return shit because it’s not in our system that you returned anything, if you don’t like how we run our store-aka the only movie rental store in all of Hawkins, Indiana, then you can drive to the next town over and lose their rentals. Also since you’re here you can pay those late fees, that’ll be eight ninety five. You’re holding up my God damn line, so either pay up or get the hell out.”

He looked taken aback, tossing the movies he wanted onto the counter before scoffing and storming out, Y/n rolled her eyes at him-she was tired, and she ran out of patience two hours ago. Fridays were the worst days of the week, that’s when everyone decided to come in, and they always came in after 6. 

Robin noticed the boys before Y/n did, so she let all of them behind the counter-including Eddie-who took the risk of standing next to Y/n as she continued checking peoples rentals out, while mumbling for them to have a great night. 

“So why do you work the register on Fridays?” she almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of Eddie’s voice-she hadn’t even noticed him next to her. She sighed, glancing at him before scanning the barcode to the store’s last copy of Rambo for a group of teenage boys.

“Because I’m the only one that’s actually mean. Steve tries to talk people down when they’re angry and he only makes things worse because he’s overly confident and it annoys people even more, and Robin cracks under pressure and starts rambling-once someone made her cry. So we came to the conclusion that I’d be the only one working the register on busy nights. Also thank you for bringing them here-I haven’t had a break so I couldn’t call” 

Y/n spoke without looking at him, instead focusing more on replacing the receipt paper in the cash register. However at the sound of the boys in front of her trying to rush her, she simply looked up and raised a brow “you either wait another two minutes, or you little shits can give me your IDs which clearly don’t say 18 considering you look like you haven’t hit puberty yet and I don’t let you rent the god damn movie. Now give me the damn money before I card both of you and call your mothers” the two boys stared at her with wide eyes, one extending a shaky hand holding cash.

“Thank you, now you have a wonderful night. Bring it back in a week or I’ll charge you all double on the late fees. Oh and don’t let me catch either of you going into the Adult section again. At least sharpie on a mustache or something first.” with that she slid them their receipt on top of the VHS tape and smiled while shewing them off.

“I dig the attitude, it’s hot” she rolled her eyes “y’know maybe the flirting wouldn’t be as bad if I wasn’t exhausted and pushed past my people limit for the day. I just wanna lay down and relax instead I have to deal with jackasses trying to rent shitty movies.” 

With that the next person in line stepped up, holding six tapes and placing them on the counter, she hadn’t even looked up before speaking “limit is four per customer, you have fifteen seconds to pick the four you want or ill kick you out of my line. We close at nine thirty, odds are if you get kicked out of line you’re not getting any movies tonight.” with that the person quickly discarded the top two movies, sliding them to the other end of the counter and allowing y/n to ring her up.

“You need help?” she shook her head at Eddie’s question “no, what I need is a five day vacation to some fancy ass spa where they give you massages and shit, I could also use a very very hot bath in combination with a bag of gummy bears.” he laughed at that.

“They’re still your favorite huh?” she furrowed her brows, now finally looking up at Eddie. “What?” “Gummy bears-they’re still your favorite, you used to love them when we were kids, you almost always had a bag on you” 

“You remember that?” he nodded his head, a small smile on her face as the two of them held eye contact, but the sound of another customer clearing their throat ruined the moment. Y/n rolled her eyes before looking at the customer, then eyeing the stacked movies, he didn’t look a day older than sixteen, so she grabbed the top movie-an easy to spot cover up-some random rom com-then she looked at the three films from the adult section.

“I’m gonna save you some embarrassment here and tell you to get the hell out of my line. You’re not a day older than sixteen, and if you try to lie to me and give me a shittily made fake ID from Ricardo Smith I will actually cut it up with scissors and make you pay me for my time” the kid was a blushing mess as he tossed the dvds into the large pile at the other end of the counter and speed walked out of the video store.

“Damn, that was ruthless, can’t let a kid live?” she shook her head at his comment “No Eddie I can’t cause when his mother sees him and his right hand going at it to Blondes Have More Fun Volume 69, then the stores gonna have to deal with her ass and by the store I mean me because once again Steve and Robin cannot handle confrontation.” She spoke as she checked another person out, she was at the point in the night that she was tired of reading off peoples totals, instead motioned to the register calculation and waited for their payment method. 

Eddie took a small risk, he stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders-gently massaging into them and when Y/n let her head lean back for a second as she took a deep breath, he took that as a silent thank you. He expected her to smack his hands away, and yet she was practically melting under his touch. He slid his hands under the green vest-getting a better grip of her shoulders through the thin material of her t-shirt, and in the moment Y/n’s brain had gone into autopilot.

She’d done this job enough to do it perfectly by muscle memory, it just took her a few more seconds than usual to count the cash given to her.

Robin was working behind the counter to get all the returned VHS tapes into one pile and all of the grabbed but not rented tapes into a bin for Steve to stock on the shelves, she easily recruited the help of Mike and Lucas, while Dustin helped Steve. Robin called them her free labor-which was honestly necessary on days like these. 

“Do you see those two? He’s giving her a freaking shoulder massage! And she’s letting him!” Robin spoke in harsh whispers to the boys next to her, the two of them glancing over to the front register, eyes widening, then they waved their hands in the air to get Dustin’s attention-who elbowed Steve and they all looked over at Eddie and Y/n. Everyone had a smile on their face outside of Steve who was shocked and had his usual confused expression, to which Dustin sighed and replied with “I’ll tell you later”. 

“Your hairs not usually up y’know” she sighed “I get hot sometimes, especially when people are constantly getting on my last nerve” he nodded his head-knowing she couldn’t actually see him, but she slightly flinched and let out a small hiss when he moved one of his hands-accidentally placing the cold metal of his rings against the back of her neck. “Shit sorry” 

“It’s okay-just kinda cold”

After they closed up the store Eddie hesitated to try asking her out again, he debated it, but he decided it wasn’t the right time. Instead he headed back home, a large smile on his face the entire drive home.

However that didn’t stop everyone else from questioning Y/n-who was working on cleaning off the countertops, a smile on her face as she did it, and for once she didn’t hate the feeling in her stomach, rather she welcomed it.

“What’s got you smiling like that-oh wait I think the question is who? Hmmm?” Robin smiled, lightly bumping her hip against Y/n’s while wiggling her brows, everyone now stood around the store, cleaning up and organizing, and it was quiet in the store as they’d turned off the sound system after the tapes kept getting stuck. 

“Oh shut it Rob” the blonde nodded her head “it seems like someone has a little bit of a crush to me” y/n tried to hide her smile, she felt like a walking cliche-the ghost of Eddie’s touch still lingering against her skin-or maybe that was just her exhaustion setting in-but she couldn’t even deny Robin’s accusation-because part of her knew it was true.

“So does fourth grade still matter hmm?” The sentence reminded Y/n of the entire reason she stopped talking to Eddie, and now her smile dropped as she rolled her eyes. “Yes it still matters.”

The eldest Sinclair moved to a different counter, now aggressively spraying it down in cleaner, her jaw clenched while she wiped the vinyl in circular motions. They all left her alone for about ten minutes, then of course they all had to bring it up-that and the fact that Dustin was spilling everything to Steve-who scoffed at Dustin’s retelling of what Eddie had told him.

“Yeah he forgot two of the most important parts of the story.” Dustin raised a brow “and how would you know that?” Steve tilted his head, one of his classic ‘are you serious’ expressions on his face “I was there-I’ve been friends with Y/n since we were kids Dustin.” 

Of course, Y/n overheard them, she was only a few feet away, and with little to no background noise it wasn’t difficult to hear one another talking at a normal volume.

“It was a bet. I was the butt of the joke. He’d admitted it to me after our shitastic first kiss, he said that he’d won the bet, and I was confused-but he already said it outloud on accident. So he went on a tangent about how he’d never actually liked me before his friends bet him like twenty bucks or some shit to ask me out-sure we were just kids but that shit hurt. Especially because I thought we were friends.” She paused for a second, letting out a deep breath to stop herself from tearing up.

“He started to word vomit-the way Robin does when she’s nervous-or the way Dustin does when he’s thinking. He told me all of his friends thought I was ugly, and that they wanted to see if he would actually go through with ‘dating me’-whatever the fuck that even equates to as a fourth grader. Then he admitted that kissing me got him another twenty bucks. Let’s also not forget the fact that I wanted to forgive him, hell I convinced myself to forgive him. I knew what happened with his Mom, she split and he moved to Forest Hills, so I rode my stupid little pink bike across fucking town to go see him and see if he was okay”

She looked up now, her eyes glossy as a singular tear slipped down her cheek, everyone saw it-no one said a single thing. “Y’know what he said. He said that the bet was over and he didn’t want to talk to my ugly ass anymore, then he went on to tell me to leave him the hell alone, called me a stalker, and felt the need to reiterate the fact that he thought I was ugly. So yeah, maybe I am childish for holding the grudge about fourth grade, but when your entire self esteem is tanked and it takes you until your sophomore year of highschool to actually love yourself because of some stupid boy in the fourth grade-you have the right to hold that grudge.” 

She wiped the tears off of her face “and y’know what? He never even apologized to me, instead he got more fucking annoying and more obnoxious and he always-always did his very best to get under my skin. He’d cut me off, or he’d say these stupid slick comments, and he would just piss me off to no end. Sure I’ve started my fair share of arguments, and yeah I am a bitch to him, and I will continue to be a bitch to him. But he’s never even apologized, and now knowing that he doesn’t even fucking remember it? I’m supposed to want to jump into his stupid arms and just embrace him and his stupid curly hair and his stupid cologne and his stupid big brown fucking eyes.” 

Everyone was silent and she nodded her head a few times, a sad smile on her face.

“That’s what happened in fourth grade. That’s the reason I hate Eddie Munson. Because he never even fucking apologized. We were friends y’know. We did our stupid third grade science fair volcano together-he was one of my best friends as a kid. Then he just wasn’t, because I wasn’t as pretty as the blonde haired blue eyed girls. Now please for the love of God let this stupid shit go. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

She went to the back storage room, taking off her vest, and grabbing her bag. She then left the room, still sniffling slightly. 

“Lucas, are you coming home tonight or staying the night at Mikes?” he glanced over at his sister before looking back at Dustin and Mike. “I’m gonna uh-stay at Mikes if that’s cool with you” she nodded her head “yeah that’s fine. Rob, do you need a ride home? Steve take the boys home” She shook her head, and with that Y/n left the store, getting into her car and playing the mixtape that Robin had made her as she drove home.

Meanwhile everyone still remained at Family Video, deciding to give y/n space after that heavy confession-but now they knew two things. One Eddie needed to apologize to her, and two they needed to tell Eddie where he fucked up. Well they knew three things technically-Y/n definitely has a thing for Eddie-and maybe she always had-but it’s something that she will forever ignore and suppress because of how he made her feel. 

So that’s what sparked Operation Apology Accepted-which also included Robin, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas showing up at Eddie’s trailer two days after to unpack everything that Y/n had shared with them, to the point that they’d all taken turns explaining parts of the story to him-and they all watched as Eddie’s eyes widened, all of the memories suddenly connecting and everything making sense. 

The entire time he was trying to apologize she didn’t want to hear it-and he now realized that she was right to not want to hear anything-especially after knowing the lasting impact it’d left on her. Of course Eddie knew all about his peers impacting his self esteem, he was never popular, and for a while he’d been the butt of the joke, but as he got older he embraced the “the freak” title which led to him building up his own confident facade, but underneath all of that he was still the stupid kid projecting his own pain onto his best friend.

These realizations led Eddie to spending the next week and a half trying to talk to Y/n, and every single time he tried to catch her-whether it be at her job, or at the town library, or when she’d pick up her siblings, or when she went to Erica’s middle school dance competitions-she would simply ignore him and move away from him.

He knew he had to apologize to her, he knew he had to let her know that he never meant any of it, that he’d practically been in love with her since they were kids, that he thought she was the prettiest girl in their grade as kids, and that the only reason he accepted the bet was because he knew he would finally be able to admit his feelings to her-but as a kid he was stupid-in fact he was so stupid that he word vomited that things started as a bet over a measly forty dollars at the worst possible time, and when y/n got mad-what did he do? He just said whatever would make her want to leave him alone-because he knew she wouldn’t want anything to do with him after that.

Then his mom split, and he went from being an idiot to a hurt, angry, idiot. So he started to project that onto the people in his life, and y/n just happened to be one of them. He even remembered shoving her-something he should’ve never done-something he regretted doing. 

Eddie Munson knew one thing, he was absolutely in love with Y/n Sinclair, and he always had been. But he needed to prove that to her, and he needed to start with an apology for his stupidity, he knew he couldn’t make up for the pain he caused her, but he knew the apology was a start.

Which is what led him to standing in her room awkwardly at six fifty-four on a Tuesday afternoon. Lucas told him that she got home from her classes and work at seven, so he let Eddie in, and now the man was pacing back and forth in a bedroom he hadn’t been in since he was nine. Granted it was a lot different, the once pink paint now replaced with white, but her walls were covered in posters, tickets, signs, and she had a large wall shelf near her closet which displayed her cheer trophies, starting from the sixth grade leading through the twelfth. She had her art work up on the walls, and all of her furniture was originally white, some objects covered in stickers, others were clearly worn-but the entire room fit her.

He placed the large stuffed cartoony octopus on her bed, alongside that he’d gotten her sunflowers, and that was solely there to lighten the blow of Eddie being in her room. Everything else was going to be said, and he sure as hell hoped she wouldn’t knee him in the groin and kick him out-but that was also something he tried to prepare himself for-knowing he’d just have to take the hit and walk it off. 

Another few minutes passed before the door opened, followed by Y/n letting out a small yelp at the sight of Eddie-then she furrowed her brows, looking at her bed. She shushed him with a singular finger as she walked towards her bed, picking up the small card next to the sunflowers.

‘All I need is ten minutes, please’ she knew his messy handwriting anywhere, he hadn’t ever grown out of it. So she picked up the sunflowers, opened her closet and pulled out one of the vases she’d made in her pottery elective and placed them inside before grabbing the water bottle from her bag and pouring the water inside, following it with the water from the nearly full bottle on her desk. 

He watched as she moved in silence, placing the vase on top of her dresser which sat adjacent to her window. Then she took off her shoes, followed by her socks and placed her shoes on the shoe rack in her closet and her socks in her dirty clothes hamper. Once she finished doing that she sat on her bed-holding the Octopus again while glancing at him.

“I know they’re your favorite-cause they uh-they have three hearts.” she nodded her head at him, her expression unreadable while she stared at him. It was something she’d gotten good at, yes she had a temper, and yes she wore her heart on her sleeve most of the time, however when it came to moments like these, she knew how to keep herself composed and almost looking numb to the world around her.

Internally Y/n was screaming, she wanted to start throwing things at Eddie the second she saw him, she wanted to trash the flowers, she wanted to burn the card and tell him to get the hell out, she wanted to do a lot of things, but after a week of crying herself to sleep in an almost heartbroken manner, she figured she’d listen to whatever the hell he had to say-especially if her younger brothers were in on it.

“Are you not gonna say anything-no-okay that’s totally fine-uh I just uh I came to apologize. Which I know is super late and super overdue and probably doesn’t mean shit to you anymore, especially because I kind of forgot why you hated me, then everyone kind of told me-why? I don’t even know because you hate me-and I deserve to be hated for what I did cause shit I was a dickhead-but I just I need you to know-that I-that I lo-no sorry that’s not it. Uh that I’m sorry.”

She furrowed her brows, blinking a few times, tilting her head in a confused manner.

“I’m not really good at this kind of thing y’know, I’m kind of a coward, I don’t really like confrontation-it's’ all an act-and I know that you know that it’s all an act because you see right through my shit which is why it’s always been so hard to get close to you because jesus you see through everyone's shit and yea I knew you weren’t as happy go lucky and positive as you wanted people to think you were, but you have these walls up and they're like a russian gulag’s walls-they’re like impenetrable and shit I’m the reason they’re even there in the first place because nine year old me was such a little prick” 

Y/n stiffled a laugh at that, nodding her head slightly, he was rambling, it was clear he was nervous, and somehow she found it comforting. She found him comforting-even if he was the cause for her heartbreak-and for her anger. He was also the cure.

“I’m just so sorry I said that shit about you, I’ve never in my life thought you were ugly-jesus christ I was so in love with you as a kid but I could never even tell you because I was a coward, and then they made that stupid bet to me and I was like ‘sweet heres a way to get the girl and also get some money’ cause y’know when you’re a kid you’re stupid and concerned with forty dollars-but I mean I deal pot so I guess i’m still concerned with forty dollars.”

He took a pause, running his hands through his messy curly hair, while also fanning himself “jesus is it hot in here or is that just me? Do you mind if i just-” with that he took off his denim vest and leather jacket, leaving him in his hellfire shirt. “-I was wrong to call you ugly and to say all that mean ass shit because I was freaking out and I was already hurting and I was so afraid to tell you in that moment that I really liked you and I thought you’d reject the hell out of me-even though it makes no sense thinking back on that-so I just said whatever I thought would make you hate me, and clearly it worked because we’re both twenty and you still hate me” he placed his hands on his hips for a second, avoiding making eye contact while he looked up at the roof.

“Then you showed up to my uncle’s trailer, and you had those gummy bears, and I knew it took you a while to get there, and I was just doing so fucking shitty, I was so hurt over my mom and I had like no real friends left because you were probably the best friend I had as a kid, and I felt so fucking miserable so I just projected it all onto you and I should’ve never done that because it was mean and it was stupid and I’m so-so-so sorry that I made you feel less than, or that I made you question your beauty because listen to me Y/n-you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out”

He now looked down, holding eye contact with her, and he couldn’t stop the words from coming out “and jesus christ I did everything to get a reaction out of you after that because it was the only way you’d actually talk to me, and i knew I annoyed the shit out of you, but then you’d respond and you’d say the bitchiest shit and I’d be there feeling like I wanted to go home and think about you, and your attitude, and the way you knit your brows together and how pretty you look when you’re about to cuss someone out, and i felt like i was gonna kick my feet back and forth and twirl my fucking hair or something”

“I’m so sorry for making you feel the way I did, I’m so sorry that I never apologized to you and that I gave up on trying, because jesus christ y/n I’m so in love with you that it fucking hurts. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and I was such a little asshole”

Her eyes widened at that, jaw dropping at his confession as everything processed, she didn’t even realize she was standing and walking towards him until she was a few inches from him.

“Say it again Eddie” he blinked a few times, his breath hitched at her closeness to him “please Eddie I need you to say it again” he swallowed hard, eyes wide, and as she stared at him all she could see were emotions running wild in his eyes.  

“I’m in love with you” that’s all it took for Y/n to place her hands on the sides of his face and pull him in, their lips clashing together at first, then molding together like the perfect match, one of her hands moved to the back of his neck-holding him against her as his hands found their place on her jaw-thumb lightly caressing the skin of her face as his other hand sat against her waist.

She poured all of her emotions into the kiss, the anger, the annoyance, the hatred, and most importantly the love she’d always had for him. 

It was difficult for Y/n to navigate her feelings towards Eddie Munson, she’d gone most of her life equating the heartbreak she’d experienced to hatred, and as they got older she did her best to keep the anger from fourth grade, but eventually that anger and hatred turned into love. An emotion she could never really identify or process, she loved Eddie Munson. Not because he broke her heart as a child-no she loved Eddie Munson because even if he did break her heart, he was always around, he never truly left her alone, he was always somehow wedging himself into her life even when she tried to push him out. 

Over the past week any time she thought through her relationship with Eddie she realized two things. 

One- she valued his opinion of her above everyone else's, it was the same reason that throughout middle school she found herself looking in the mirror wondering what he would think of her hair, or her clothes, or her music taste. It was also the reason that in high school she dumped her ex boyfriend because of Eddie’s sly comments about the fact that she could do better-and he was right. She wanted to be the pretty popular girl that everyone wanted, most importantly she wanted to prove her 9 year old self, and his 9 year old self wrong-she was pretty, and she would use that to her advantage. so she settled for someone who would help that happen-and in the end she broke up with him because he was a self absorbed douchebag. 

Hell, it was the entire reason that she kept painting and sculpting, everyone told her that it was a waste of time, but Eddie always complimented her work, even when she wasn’t looking or around, he’d write little notes about the in progress pieces, and he’d tape them to the back of the canvases, or he’d tape them to the base of the sculptures. She knew it was him, she even told him to ‘fuck off with the fake compliments’ once, to which he responded with ‘alas the only thing fake is your hate for me’.

The second thing she realized was that he was one of the most constant factors in her life, it wasn’t because Eddie was from the same shitty town she was, or because he was her self proclaimed arch nemesis, or even because they ended up being polar opposites in high school. No, he was a constant factor in her life because behind all of those sly comments and petty arguments he was always there when she needed someone around. 

He always knew when to show up, it was odd, but whenever she needed someone around-there he was, making a sly comment about her friend group as she sat alone in the library, or he’d lean against the locker next to hers, complimenting her ‘cute little cheerleader outfit’, to follow it up with ‘didn’t know you were into halloween that much’. He was never truly malicious, and yet she was, but he still stuck around because deep down the both of them knew that they’d always find their way back to one another.

As enemies or as lovers, they were fine with either, but now, now Y/n Sinclair knew she was in love with Eddie Munson, and she was tired of denying that.

-

Taglist: @dmonchld​ @anxietyandtacos​ @1nfinitely-yours​ 

If you’d like to be tagged in any of my future stranger things fics or Eddie Munson fics please send me an ask :), I’m in the process of making a new ST masterlsit and taglist doc so yea

#Eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x sinclair!reader #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #stranger things x you

[wallaballabingbang]

Run away | H.J Granger

Post war, Readers gender not specified <3

Summary | your parents were either killed or imprisoned during the battle of hogwarts and you need so a fresh start away from everything, what happens when a familiar face comes knocking on you door a year later?

After finishing school you decided to move into the city - London, wanting a change in scenery from where you’d spent the majority of your life: Hogwarts.

It was nice at the start, you had a normal muggle job and had no contact with the wizarding world. Your family had been avid followers of ‘you know who’ and had either been killed during the final battle or sent to Azkaban for eternity, it did you a favour though, not to say that you didn’t miss having a parent or sibling around but you could achieve more in the wizarding world, if you wanted to now.

Although gradually you’d started noticing things that to the muggle eye seemed normal, but to your eyes, definitely stuck out of place. Each time you saw something you’d note them down mentally, one that stuck out to you was the pet shop which had recently opened on a street nearby.

The pet shop itself wasn’t the odd thing, it was the customers that were coming and going. All of them had at least one child with them, all wearing long cloaks, cloaks you knew all too well. You remember wearing one yourself many times growing up as you and your mother had been preparing to travel to the ministry via floo powder.

That could only mean one thing: wizards in the vicinity.

You’d spent so long trying to hide yourself from the wizarding society, you’d almost had a heart attack at the realisation that wizards and witches were travelling back and forth near where you lived.

You’d rushed home quickly and splashed freezing water on your face, attempting to wake yourself up from this nightmare which was reality.

You’d gone from your bathroom into your bedroom to change into some more comfortable clothes when someone had knocked at your front door. You’d ran to look out the window to see who could be knocking at your house- you never got post and always went out to buy things instead of shopping online, so when you saw Hermione Granger on your front steps you fell back from the window in disbelief.

You’d been best friends since the first year of hogwarts and in fourth year you’d gotten together, in your getaway from the magic lifestyle, you’d cut everyone off including her. She’d sent you letters asking if you were okay and then asking what she did wrong, you’d never replied of course, otherwise what was the point of running away?

You’d opened the door slightly, enough to see her in person and for her to see the side of your face. You’d re-closed it and then opened it fully asking why she was here and that you were sorry for what you’d done, it seemed that she hadn’t heard you or ignored you as she’d walked past you and taken a seat on your couch, looking at you expectantly, beckoning you to sit down as well.

That was where you both were now.

“So how come your here?” You asked sheepishly as you sat next to her. She hadn’t changed only matured more, her hair sat in a braid on her shoulder as she stared at the carpeted floor.

“I’ve been looking for you, you know.” She muttered and finally looked at you. “After you ran away I figured it was because you needed time to grieve, so I gave It to you. I left you alone, but then you never came back and not once did you reply to my letters.” She moved so her whole body was facing you and you wanted the ground to swallow you up more than ever.

“I missed you.” As the words fell from her lips, a tear escaped from her eye which she quickly wiped away hoping you hadn’t noticed. You did.

“Don’t cry.” You whispered as moved closer to her and hugger her for the first time over a year, it probably wasn’t what she wanted to hear but you said it anyway. As you sat there with her, you realised how selfish and thoughtless you’d been. Yes, you’d needed time to come to sense of what had happened, but did you really need to cut the only person left who loved you?

“I’m sorry, if I could go back in time I would never have done this. I would’ve stayed with you, Harry and Ron and we could’ve helped each other.” You admitted and she stayed silent so you continued speaking: “you didn’t do anything wrong, my whole family were death eaters and had been killed or sent to prison. I wanted a fresh start, away from everythin-”

“-away from me?” She murmured, you could barely hear her ask the question but you did. You chuckled and tapped her back, pulling away from the hug.

“No, I loved you more than anything and still do. What I did was stupid, I didn’t think and I was so used to you being there that it seemed like you were always going to be there, so when I ran away I hadn’t realised that I’d left you, like everyone else, with no note or nothing until it was too late.” She nodded at you before standing up, taking her bag off and placing it on your coffee table.

She looked down at you from where she was stood and told you to stand up and hugged you again, you gladly returned it, it was long overdue and one wasn’t enough.

“We’ll I’m going to be here now and it’s not a choice.” She told you and you rose an eyebrow her, confused as to what she was as talking about. She rolled her eyes at you and tried to hide her smile: “I mean that I’m not leaving your house until you tell me everything that’s happened since you left.”

You laughed and gave a heavy sigh, you owed her it. “only if we can act like nothing happened and go back to how we used to be.” You stated and rested your hands on your hips.

She didn’t answer you but instead slowly pecked your lips, as she pulled away you kept her in her place by holding onto her wrists and pulling her down onto you as sat on the couch again, beginning to tell her the long list of things that had happened since you’d been apart.

I’m already seeing a pattern that I post during the night ._.

#harry james potter #hermione x reader #hermione granger #hogwarts #hermione granger x reader #harry potter #ronald weasley #x reader #magic

[mk-writes-stuff]

Please please please tell us more about space elves and space dwarves, I got to know more about those radiation hot tubs

Haha okay I’ve actually done a bit more worldbuilding for these lads so I’ll give you what I’ve got :)

So the space elves and space dwarves are actually from the same solar system - the elves’ planet was on the closer side of the Goldilocks zone and the dwarves’ planet is on the far side. They never interacted that much because they were busy with their own politics but they’d fought in the past and had an awkward Cold War situation going on.

I’m not 100% sure what I’ve said about the elves so I’ll go through a rundown. They’re evolved from bats, so they have really long ears and slightly elongated fourth fingers. Their skin comes in various grayish shades, from very light to very dark, and their hair and eyespots are usually red or black. They typically have gold or purple eyes. Due to some genetic modifications they did as a species a long time ago, they are all capable of becoming pregnant or impregnating others, although they still have secondary sex characteristics.

They have a matriarchal society that’s highly authoritarian and consists of small city-states that hate each other. Their planet was nearly uninhabitable due to constant war, and, when the nuclear war started, a small group of them ran away to the stars, where they encounter the Seven Stations with their ship on its last legs. Due to their longer lifespan, some of them still remember their homeworld from when they were quite young.

The space dwarves are less developed in terms of worldbuilding, but I know they have pointed ears and horns. They have three major mega-empires that are all at war with each other and are all propaganda states. They do most of their fighting through massive mechs and technological constructs. And yes, as I mentioned, they use a lot of nuclear power because they’re radiation-immune and they do use the wastewater as communal hot tubs. They’re also currently mining out the elves’ planet because, well, it’s not really inhabitable for the elves anymore.

Fun facts:

Elves use last names as titles - for example, Xi, which means Queen

Elves also use the sound ae as a masculine diminutive, and the ones on the Seventh Station will sometimes alter station names to suit this (for example, they call Stellaris Stellaraes)

Elves recognize three genders - male, female, and a middle gender

Dwarf mechs look kind of like the Garden Knight from Tunic (if you’ve played Tunic)

I hope this sates your curiosity just a bit. I’m happy to answer more questions - you’ll see a bunch of the elves in Book 3 of the Seven Station Chronicles as well (no dwarves, they’re just for fun, although I might write a short story or novella about them someday as a side story)

Thank you for the ask!

#writeblr #seven station chronicles

[usafphantom2]

Former USAF Master Sergeant reveals the Fastest Speed ever Recorded by a Lockheed Blackbird

By Linda Sheffield Miller

Apr 8 2023

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A-12 pilot Jim Eastham dropped the nose down a bit to see if he could at least reach Mach 3.0. Out of nowhere, Jim hit good air and in the dive with good air he red lined everything.

SR-71 Shop

CLICK HERE to buy unique SR-71 Blackbird merchandise for your HABU collection.

The A-12 Oxcart Mach 3 spy plane unique design and characteristics became the foundation for three other versions of supersonic aircraft that Lockheed built for CIA and the USAF: the YF-12A, the M-21, and the SR-71.

In October 1962, the USAF ordered the development of dedicated variant of the Oxcart to replace the cancelled F-108A Rapier. The modified A-12, first designated the AF-12 and then the YF-12A. Only three YF-12As were built and delivered during 1963-64.

According to The SR-71 Blackbird website, in the same month and in the same year, CIA authorized the Skunk Works to study the feasibility of modifying the A-12 to carry and deploy a reconnaissance drone for unmanned overflight of denied areas. The project was codenamed TAGBOARD. The mother ship, redesignated the M-21 to avoid confusion with the A-12, was fitted with a second seat for a launch control officer (LCO) for the drone, called the D 21. But since on the fourth TAGBOARD test on Jul. 30, 1966, a launch mishap caused the mother ship to crash, killing LCO Ray Torick, Kelly Johnson ended the program.

However, the best known version of the A-12 (right) is the SR 71 Blackbird (left), whose nickname has become eponymous with the entire set of Oxcart variants. With the added weight, the aircraft flew slower and lower than the A-12 or the YF-12A, but it carried more fuel and had a longer range.

When talking about the Lockheed Blackbird family probably the most frequently asked Blackbird question is-how how fast does it really fly?

“I’ve answered this question before, but here goes,” says Jim Goodall, former Master Sergeant at U.S. Air Force and author of the book Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird: The Illustrated History of America’s Legendary Mach 3 Spy Plane. “The fastest an SR-71A has ever gone is Mach 3.43 in 974 [Blackbird #61-17974, better known as “Ichi-Ban”], at the time, a Site II bird. It blew out both inlets as it had a dual unstart.”

SR-71 print

This print is available in multiple sizes from AircraftProfilePrints.com – CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS. SR-71A Blackbird 61-7972 “Skunkworks”

Goodall continues.

“Ben Rich told me that the inlets were designed to fly at its “Sweet Spot” of Mach 3.24. All manned Blackbirds from the A-12 through to the last SR-71 built were and designed to all fly at the same top speed.

“But during early flight testing at Area 51 with the A-12s, Jim Eastham told me that A-12 #128 flew as fast as any A-12 during testing. On the particular day that the A-12 red lined everything.

“During a routine top speed envelope expansion flight, A-12 #128 was having a hard time getting past Mach 2.7 as the outside air was too warm. The reason for the flight test card that day was to validate a new inlet bypass door schedule.

“Jim said he dropped the nose down a bit to see if he could at least reach Mach 3.0. Out of nowhere, Jim hit good air and in the dive with good air he red lined everything. He went into his descent profile and headed back to the test site.”

Goodall concludes:

“When all was said and done; and for a very brief 15 seconds, Jim hit Mach 3.56, or just under 2,400 mph. Mind you, this was a one-time event and was never duplicated.”

Be sure to check out Linda Sheffield Miller (Col Richard (Butch) Sheffield’s daughter, Col. Sheffield was an SR-71 Reconnaissance Systems Officer) Facebook Pages Habubrats and Born into the Wilde Blue Yonder for awesome Blackbird’s photos and stories.

[sumire-no-nikki]

September Finally

August is over. What a relief. August is a restless month. The sunshine has lost its novelty, the weather is no longer appreciated and we’re all caught in the in between. The summer bounty has started to spoil. The desire for something new has become more urgent, and it’s all starting to feel like there’s nothing that can be done but let time pass. I think that might be the worst part of it—the passivity. August demands endurance. September provides release.

As I’m typing this, the sky murky, gray with rain filled clouds. A sign of a promising weekend and a refreshing month to come.

What have I been up to this month? I’m flipping through my planner and wow, I have been busy! Most notable thing accomplished is finalising my schedule for the rest of the year, which is very exciting, because now that everything is decided all that’s left to do is wait for them to happen. I can’t wait!!

I am also happy to announce I am out of my reading funk!! I read a couple of books this past month—all outside my comfort zone (plus points for that!) I tend to favor literary fiction, historical fiction and mystery novels, but this month I exclusively read YA fantasy. I have a handful of YA/fantasy books because once upon a time I thought I was falling in love with this girl who liked the genre. Pulling my signature “I-Will-Read-What-You-Like-To-Read-Because-I-Love-You” move™️ I bought these books, eager to get to know this girl’s world. But without going too deep into it for now, I very fortunately realized that relationship wasn’t going to work at all and all I have left of that time are these books that are totally outside of my usual taste. Ah, silly me.

Books read this month:

We Were Liars - E. Lockhart

The Impossible Girl - Lydia Kang (okay this is historical fantasy… so it’s only partially out of my comfort zone lol)

Sky in the Deep - Adrienne Young

Vicious - V.E. Schwab

All these reads got a 3+ out of 5 rating by the way. They’re all solid but I also don’t feel a sense of attachment to any of them so I ended up giving them away. I’m glad I read them but it is also a relief to have tidied up my collection a little bit.

Now, what shall I name my Snow Queen pothos babies? They were sitting in a propagation jar for ages and I finally potted them. The mama plant had some root rot issues so I had to save it by chopping it up. When it gets fuller, I’m going to chop it some more and maybe finally make my pothos medley dream come true. I have five different kinds of pothos in my plant family and I really want to experiment and combine them in one pot.

Speaking of plants, I have to trim the dining room plants for the fourth time this year. They’re growing out of control. I’m going to do that later today while listening to some podcasts.

Oh! Yes, podcasts! I come to you with a recommendation. My usual podcasts are True Crime (yes, I am one of those people I’m afraid), scary stories, history and politics. This one is a Sci-Fi fiction podcast (so I’ve continued the theme of staying outside my comfort zone in August it seems). Anyway, I got an ad for a Spotify Podcast called Case 63 a couple of days ago while listening to Disappeances by Sarah Turney (another good podcast). The ad was compelling enough to get me to check it out and I’m so happy I did. It’s a really short 10-episode story about a time traveler trying to prevent the end of the world. How original! (I am being sarcastic lol). But seriously, it actually got me pacing my kitchen while nervously chewing on a banana. It’s pretty good. I’m not into Sci-Fi at all. I’ve probably interacted with like, four different Sci-Fi media in my entire life but this one was an excellent listen. I’m interested in listening to more similar podcasts. I’ll remember to find more this month.

I also bought a new iPad Pro and the matching Magic Keyboard in August. I upgraded from an 11-inch to a 12.9-inch model and the difference is great, especially when I have the split screen setup going on. And the Magic Keyboard is definitely better than the Apple Keyboard Folio I had. It comes with a trackpad so it’s basically a MacBook with a touch screen. I was going to upgrade my MacBook too but they didn’t have the one I wanted and it isn’t urgent, so I just stuck with these two purchases. I’m very content. I put an autumn themed wallpaper on the new iPad (can you feel my intense yearning for autumn???) and I’ve just been setting it up little by little.

This entry’s music highlight is from a band called Half Moon Run from Canada (insert Louise Belcher “enough with Canada!!” GIF here lol) and I may or may not see them live soon. It depends on my schedule. This song is the first track from their newest album which is fucking incredible. Somehow when I listen to the album I feel like I’m back in 2013? Yet at the same time this album feels a lot more up to date than their older works. I don’t know how to explain it. I think it’s the vocalist’s voice. It’s very… 2010s emo/punk/indie sounding. When the chorus of this song rolls in I can’t help but bop my head and sing along especially when he goes “… that weight you carry with yaaaa!!” I love it.

Alright. That’s it for now. I leave you with my orange boy tickling the ivories and knocking all my sheet music off the music rack because, you know, orange cat behaviour. And of course my eldest boy is being the mellow gentleman that he is, just lounging in his “penthouse apartment” (because it’s at the top of their cat tree lol).

Smell you later!

#diary #sumire-no-nikki

[goldilockswrites]

Hey this is what I commented about! Could you maybe write a fluffy story where All of måneskin come to your home town for the first time and you go on a walk with them all and take them into a forest as they all say things like “girl do you know where we are” and a really confused boyfriend (Thomas) , it’s ok if not but if you can then thanks 💗🌹🌷

The Part Of Me I’ll Always Need - Thomas Raggi

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Pairing: Thomas Raggi x Reader (she/her) + Guest Appearances from Ethan Torchio, Damiano David and Victoria De Angelis

Requested: Yes

Summary: Y/N’s boyfriend decides to surprise her, by bringing his bandmates to her hometown. The girl suggests they take a walk through the forest and have a picnic. As it turns out after a good hour of wandering it seems they can’t find the spot. Just as they begin doubting Y/N’s knowledge of the trees surrounding here house they find out she’s been planning a surprise all along.

Warnings:  Fluff (Is that even a warning?); Proofread, but there is a chance there are mistakes, since I typed this out at 2 A.M. 

A/N: Hey! Here is another Thommy story, brought to you by Monster and moi (I’m not actually sponsored, by Monster, but at this point with how many cans I’ve had I think it’s time they do.)  I hope you enjoy! :) Love, Axe <3

Tags:  @writingmaneskin @myfavguitarboythomasraggi @moonlight-simp @cuzimitaliano @l0standn0tf0und-fics @selenophiliaxx @wasteddoubts @mywritingonlyfans @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline @que--sera--sera @iosonoarina @theimpossiblehologramtree @sunflowerpumpkinpie @maneslut (if you’d like to be removed from the tags feel free to tell me :) )

© 2021-2022 @idyllicbutterfly on Tumblr All Rights Reserved

Add yourself to my taglist - Check out my other stories

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The sunlight mustered a magnificent mosaic - gold reflecting from each leaf and branch. Each ray fell gently on bumpy surfaces, as if it was happy to be a part of this mural. Y/N sat in bed - an almost empty cup of coffee on her nightstand, an open laptop on her lap. Manuscripts upon manuscripts. Dull, borning, pretentious. She couldn’t help rolling her eyes; life was ugly, emotions weren’t always beautiful and gracious. There was darkness in the light; and there was light in the darkness, always. However these concepts seemed to be left out of most of these future best-selling authors’ works.

Three knocks distracted her from her work. Y/N put her slippers on walking over to the door. The cabinet in the small halfway was a mess - bottles of hairspray, make-up, jewellery, nail polish, sunglasses. She grabbed the colourful bunch - more keychains than keys hung on the silver ring. One of the eiffel tower, for when she was away, which seemed pretty pointless now that she was home and could see it every time she got out on her balcony for a smoke; one of the colosseum - it reminded her of Rome, the summer she met her boyfriend, the apartment they bought together; the third one was a metal sunflower, the fourth - a red paperclip. She swiftly twisted the key, unlocking the door.

“Buongiorno, mademoiselle." A huge bunch of the yellow flowers was clutched in a man’s hand, a backpack resting by his side. Thomas. “Sun! What are you doing here?” The girl left the bouquet on the ground, throwing her arms around the man. “Well, we happened to be passing by and I decided to come visit, my love.” Y/N glowed as the guitarist kissed her lips. She took a second to observe him.

His gorgeous green eyes fogged with exhaustion; his freckles - now lighter; hair slightly shorter. A wide shirt hung around his frame, most of the buttons left unbuttoned revealing his chest and leaving his tattoos on display.

“Anyway, enough about me. How have you been?” Thomas’ irises sparkling with excitement as they walked to her bedroom. “Well, Mr. International superstar, my life is far less entertaining than yours. All I’ve done the past few months was argue with book agents and try my best to make pretentious fucks, sound more like human beings and less than robots trying to figure out how the human world functions.” Y/N’s gaze wandered around the room landing upon a paint-coated canvas, wrapped in sparkly paper with a tulle bow in the middle. “Oh, I was also invited to this very cool exhibition and might have spoken to the artist about you… And we may or may not have made you a little… Well… Gift.” The girl grabbed the edge of the frame, sliding it to the boy. “Open it.”

His long fingers worked on ripping the paper, a slight shake to his hands. Soon it was all gone, the present revealed - a painting of Y/N and him. He immediately recognised the photo it was inspired by, a polaroid they had taken before tour - Thomas was on his knees on the messy sheets; his girlfriend positioned between his legs, champagne-coloured lingerie adorning her body; his lips were sunk into her shoulder. The room behind them - chaotic; an almost empty bottle of wine and an abundance of clothes thrown around.

“Do you like it?” Y/N placed her head on his back. “I fucking love it.” The sound of a doorbell going off interrupted them, just as their lips were about to touch. “Ugh…” The girl rolled her eyes, as she got to the door. Her own surprise awaited her on her doorstep - the rest of her friends stood in front of her. “Guys! What are you doing here?” She yelled excitedly, throwing her arms around Ethan’s neck. “Hey, kiddo.” He smiled at her. “How have you been?” “Pretty good, grandpa.” Y/N/N giggled. “What about you?” “Tired, but happy.” The drummer nodded. “So, we didn’t interrupt you and the cowboy, did we?” Damiano inspected the make-up that laid on the counter in the room.

“I told someone we should wait…” Victoria pointed towards the singer. “But he didn’t listen.” “No, no, problem at all. We were just talking.” The girl nodded. “Hey, Cobra!” The vocalist patted Thom’s back. “What did you and mademoiselle over here do, huh? You know I am too young to become an uncle, yes?” “Chill, Y/N was kind enough to give me a gift.” “So did you give her the souvenirs or not?” The bassist pushed the boy.

She always thought of the blond as her younger brother, so when he asked for help to buy gifts for his girlfriend, she couldn’t help, but wander into all the shops that seemed to have things that would fit the taste of the editor. In the end, the trinkets of all their destinations were stored in a beautiful velvet bag; the items inside varied from rings, bracelets and charms, to CDs and books.

“Not yet.” The boy smiled sheepishly, before he reached into his bag taking out the purple pouch. “Here you go, love.” Y/N smiled widely, almost tearing up. “Thank you so much, sun! You are so thoughtful!” She kissed his cheek. Her fingertips pulled the ribbons apart, opening the bag. Inside she first spotted an abundance of rings: butterflies, flowers, bees, lions; five CDs - all limited edition albums of her favourite musicians; and a compilation of Charles Bukowski’s poetry. “Flower…” Y/N/N teared up. “This is seriously one of the kindest things ever!” The girl threw her arms around the boy one more time. Damiano cleared his throat behind them. “I’d hate to ruin your romantic moment over there, but if you wouldn’t mind, Thomas, we would all want to speed some time with lil’.” “I am taller than you.” Y/N snickered.

“Of course, of course. Now where should we go?” “Would you guys like to have a picnic? I can get some pastries and coffee from the bakery downstairs and we can take a walk through the forest.” “That sounds like a genius idea.” Vic giggled. “How about we go get them and the boys get the luggage inside.” Y/N/N pretended to think for a minute, before laughing at the request and nodding in agreement.

“Jasmine” seemed small and dark - quite the uninviting view, from anyone unaware of the peace and charm the bakery actually had. No more than 1500 square feet; a chequered floor, teal walls and glass fridges filled with all sorts of sweets - cakes, cookies, muffins and macaroons. “Salut!” Maya lifted her gaze from the display. Her grey-ish hair concealed in a net; skin flecked with sunspots. “Salut, Maya! Ça va?” The girl answered cheerfully. "Ça va, et toi?” The elderly woman answered. “Tres bien. Merci!” Y/N’s gaze slipped from pastry to pastry, discussing what she should get with the bassist. In the end they settled on what to order, asking for it to be placed in a brown paper bag.

Outside the weather was even more sunny than before. The boys stood by the little building smoking cigarettes stuck deep in a conversation about some song. “Hey, boys! We got the food, do you want to get going?” Y/N asked, raising the bag in her left hand. “Of course.” Thomas jogged forward, grabbing the pouch from her and clutching her hand, sealing their lips, before letting her drag him in the direction she had in mind, the rest of the band following. It didn’t take long before they were wandering into a forest-like territory, which was in reality a park, steering off sandy and stone paths and walking through the grass.

Insects flew around them, small lizards making leaves and branches crunch under their bodies.

“Y/N/N, I am not saying I doubt your orientation abilities, but are you sure we are headed the right way?” Ethan was the first one to ask, feeling creeped out by the view of trees behind, in front and to the sides. “I am absolutely sure,we are headed the correct way. We are almost there.”

As if on cue a patch of bare ground appeared on the horizon. “Here we go!” Y/N gestured to the spot, ducks swimming around in the lake, flowers growing close to the water. The girl grabbed the guitarist by the hand, dragging him to the stone-covered ground. “Okay, there’s actually a very important reason I got you guys here exactly.” The girl took out a small box from her back pocket. “Thommy, you make me the happiest woman alive. I’ve never known happiness this strong, before I was with you. I love you and you are the part of me I’ll always need. Will you marry me?” The blond stared at her in disbelief, gaze darting from her face over to the silver band. Still speechless he took his necklace off, opening the pendant that hung on the thin chain - a flat ring inside; the band glimmered, seven small stones set on it.

“I- Y/N, I never want to let you go either.” The boy smiled, as tears filled both of their eyes. “Yes.” He said. “I will marry you.” The woman nodded, placing the ring on his finger with a shaky hand. Extending her own for him to place the ring atop hers. “Okay, can we finally eat?” Damiano giggled excitedly, clapping his hands together.

#maneskin fanfiction #thomas raggi fanfiction #ethan torchio fanfiction #victoria de angelis fanfiction #damiano david fanfiction #thomas raggi imagine #thomas raggi x reader #thomas raggi #ethan torchio x reader #ethan torchio imagine #ethan torchio #victoria de angelis x reader #victoria de angelis fanfic #victoria de angelis #damiano david imagine #damiano david x reader #damiano david #maneskin imagine #maneskin #maneskin x reader

[thehuntss]

AFTERMATH - HIGH FOR THIS 2/2

•

On the next day everyone is sober. But all of them could remember crystal clear one thing. How Hotch and Prentiss announced they were dating. And since they had their own fun, now it was the team's turn.

•

Hi guys !

As requested and because I felt like it wasn’t done yet, here’s part two.

Thank you so much for your support !

Hope you’ll enjoy <3

xx

When the BAU woke up on the next morning, everyone felt the same: dizzy.

At some point some of them considered that their state was likely close to sickness so they could call in and stay in bed.

“I feel like shit. What the hell happened yesterday?” Derek groaned, on the phone with Penelope who was literally feeling the same. “Can we call in sick ? I can’t get up.”

“Am I being dramatic if I tell you I was considering the same my chocolate god.” She replied, suddenly thirsty like if she had spend days in desert without any water. “My head is about to explode and I can’t even sit in bed because it’s moving like a carousel.”

“I know, mine didn’t stop either, or it’s the aftermath of the cookies.” He mumbled, wondering how he could work today in this state. Derek didn’t have more time to think that he heard a knock on his door. “Don’t hang up baby girl.” He told Garcia before standing up and making his way to his unfortunate guest.

What a surprise he had when he saw JJ on the other side. She looked happy, and the little smirk she had over her face made clear to him that she would tease him for the rest of the case. What made him feel better was to know the others weren’t much to envy.

“Good morning. Are you feeling better?” She gently asked, already knowing the answer. He sighted, letting Garcia knows that his cover was spotted and in conclusion, hers too.

“I feel like I’ve been crushed by a giant weed cookie. I don’t do drugs. And I don’t ever want this to happen again.” He groaned as she chuckled.

“Don’t worry it’s going to pass. And for your information the others are pretty much feeling like you. Rossi is wearing sunglasses in his bathroom, and Reid thought he was sleeping in a coffin.” She resumed.

“And the lovers ? I had my headphones on, just in case they wanted to do it again…” he grimaced, clearly remember his boss and his friend making out in he police station restroom.

“They are the last ones I have to wake up….”

He laughed, feeling suddenly happy not having to do that. “Good luck with them, you’ll probably find them all naked and I personally don’t want to see bossman’s ass.”

“You’re gross. Come on, do whatever you want but be ready we have to be at the station in 30 minutes.” She said before leaving, as he unmuted his phone. “You knew she was coming right?”

Penelope faked a sorry sigh, laughing at the desperation in her best friend’s voice. “I always thought bossman and Rossi were our parents, I guess JJ makes a good one too.”

“You’re the worst.” He groaned, heading to the shower. “Wheels up in 30!” Derek said in a perfect Hotch imitation, before hanging up.

•

When Emily opened her eyes she felt like she was about to die or something close from it. She had never do drugs before, even in her chaotic childhood. She was having the worst headache ever, even alcohol didn’t do the same damages on her brain. “What the hell happened yesterday?”

She tried to stir like Sergio, but her body was sore as hell and then she heard a soft knock on the door. She stood up - too quickly her head started to turn - and opened, wearing Aaron’s shirt. When she saw JJ standing on the other side she smiled.

“Good morning. How are you feeling ?” The blonde asked.

“Terrible, I hate cookies.”

“Hmmm you’re the fourth person telling me this today. Is Hotch awake ?” JJ asked, presuming they had been sleeping in the same room, like they secretly did for the past year.

She didn’t know what was the funnier. Emily’s confused face when she heard her or the way she definitely didn’t remember a word of their original announcement the day before.

“What?” Emily replied confused, not knowing why JJ was asking that.

“Hotch is here right ?” She pointed at his shirt on her. “I mean, if you’re dating it’s normal. We have to be at the station in 30 minutes and I wanted to make sure everyone was alive.” The brunette still looked confused and JJ added. “It’s his room, that’s why I asked.”

And then she saw the light illuminates her friend’s brain as she understood the meaning of the question, looking at her boyfriend shirt. “We are dat…what are you speaking about ?” She frowned her eyesbrows and then realized. “Oh..oh you mean Hotch. Like is Hotch sleeping here ? Yeah, yeah he’s almost awake, we’ll meet you all at the reception.”

She closed the door, for sure she was having a blackout on certains moments of the day before. Emily remembered eating the cookies and then it was only flash backs, kind of blurry. She smiled when she saw her handsome boyfriend still asleep, and all naked.“Get it together Emily, we don’t have time.”

“Honey?” she sat next to him, pressing soft kisses over his face, almost falling off the bed when he jumped out like he had seen the scariest psychopath ever.

“What…” he groaned, feeling like his head was about to explode. “Hi sweetheart.” He said when he realized she was next to him, dragging her back to bed in a loving embrace, taking time to kiss her. She chuckled, straddling him.

“Good morning. How are you feeling ?”

He looked less livid, that was a good point, and as an answer Aaron kissed her again. “You look so beautiful when you’re wearing my clothes.” He whispered, feeling desire burning his body. Without warning he unbuttoned his shirt, looking at those perfect breast of her. She was so beautiful, they were so beautiful. And Aaron suddenly felt very hungry, and definitely not for cookies.

His eyes locked on hers, studying her face, waiting. She gave an almost imperceptible nod, letting him know she wanted this so bad. His lips latched onto her nipple and he sucked her flesh into his hot mouth. She felt so good, he could never get rid of that taste.

Emily ’s hand shot up to grasp the back of his head as she groaned in pleasure. “Aaron” she breathed into the air above and he bit her nipple gently in reply, making her shiver. As his mouth was busy he made sure to not neglect her other breast, giving her the best treat.

Emily whimpered, and Aaron once again found himself addicted to that sweet sounds, she was giving herself to him, and these moments were priceless. He was so distracted by her that he didn’t notice Emily’s hand move until it wrapped around his erection, making his hips buck against her. “Jesus, fuck” he gasped, knowing that reaching his climax wouldn’t take long this morning.

She chuckled, and before he could do or say anything she sank down on his shaft, moaning as she took him fully inside, the slight usual burn making her even more happy. “Oh baby…” her eyes squeezing shut, and her breathing louder, he could see how much she was enjoying herself. He hadn’t move yet.

Suddenly gripping her waist, he gave a big thrust, making her scream before he could cover her mouth with his hand. The heat of her tight channel around his cock made him groan, the sensations of physical love overwhelming him.

“Faster baby, you feel so good…” she panted, her hands caressing all over his torso, her body all tensed.

He pounded even harder, one of his hand on her clit and he knew she was getting close. Aaron wanted to give her everything, that little push that would send her over the edge. The harder he touched her sensitive spot, the better she moaned, the sound of his hips against her echoing deliciously to their ears.

A last hard thrust of his hips and Emily shattered, a long moan escaping her throat before she bit her lip to quieten herself a bit. Aaron loved to make her scream like that, something he got addicted to since the day they discovered physical love. “Come with me honey….” she almost begged him, still on her climax and a few thrusts later he came as well, spurting into her his hot and sticky fluids, groaning.

“What are you doing to me Em….” He whispered, catching his breath as she lied down next to him her head resting over his sweaty torso.

“Showing you how much I love you.” She replied, and suddenly reality hit her back, realizing they were now VERY late. She jumped out, and he didn’t need explanation before following her the shower.

“I guess we don’t have time for another round in the shower ?” She teased him as the water started to pour on their heated bodies.

“Emily!” But he wasn’t mad, he was terribly in love with her.

•

David Rossi, JJ, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia were waiting in the hotel lobby, all of them wearing big sunglasses, four of them wanting to die. It was even worst than a hungover and none of them seemed to have recovered.

“I feel like my head is a volcano ready to burst.” Derek groaned.

“Mine already exploded.” Garcia replied, very sensitive to the noises surrounding her.

“They are late.” JJ stated as Rossi sighted.

“They are the god and goddess of the most delicious and naughtiest business.” Derek mumbled, giving Reid a malicious look.

“Please Morgan, I don’t want to ever remember this episode of my life, I still can’t erase their moans from my head.” The youngest complained, very much traumatized. “It’s so unlike of them, neither of them would have done it in a public place like a police station. It doesn’t make any sense, I can’t find the right explanation.”

“Because there’s none little genius.” Dave replied him, shrugging his shoulders. “Let’s just say you can’t find answers of everything in books, sometimes you just have to…let go?”

“So you’re saying they listened to the little devil on their shoulder ?” Derek said, looking suddenly very concerned. “Interesting, maybe I should do that more often.”

“You already do that often, remember all the times at the bar my sunshine?” Penelope yawned as she answered.

“Are you being jealous baby girl ?” He teased her.

“Never, because I’m the supremacy and no one can ever uncrown me. Remember that.” She chuckled with this bitchy look that always amused him.

And before he could say something else they saw Hotch and Emily arrived from the elevator, both of them surprisingly wearing sunglasses too.

“It’s about time. Let’s go to the SUV kids.” David said, standing up and greeting his friends. They all did the same with a small smirk over their faces, leaving Aaron and Emily confused.

•

First SUV - ACT 1 (Derek, Penelope, JJ and Emily)

“So.” Derek broke the silence in the car, turning to Emily. “Dating Hotch huh?”

All the expressions crossed her face, not really remembering what had happened the day before, but they obviously did because they were all looking at her with the same expression. “What are you talking about ?”

“Oh don’t play with me princess. You basically told us and worst, showed us that you and boss man really gets along.” He said, Penelope starting to laugh uncontrollably.

“What ??”

She still had no idea what they were talking about. JJ felt bad for her friend and decided to help her, teasing her a bit. “You don’t remember yesterday ?”

“We’ve had some cookies and then you locked us up in the conference room.”

“Yeah right, and then ?” JJ continued, smiling knowingly. “You went to the toilets when Morgan started to sniff the table…”

“Hey I wasn’t sniffing the table!” Morgan exclaimed, as Garcia laughed louder. “I was…checking on it.”

“Oh…you smell like love!” JJ imitated then looked at him. “That’s what you said to that damn table.”

“No sense.” He managed to say, trying to remember but without success. “Anyways, Prentiss went to the toilets, and then…princess ?”

The three of them turned their look on the brunette and as they insisted, she suddenly got hit and everything came back in her memories. And for the first time she felt horrified, having flashback of those damn restrooms and what they had done inside.

“Oh my god.” She said after a few seconds, slapping her forehead with the palm of her hand. “Did…we…”

“Yes.” They all answered at the same time, JJ frowning her eyebrows, Pen laughing. “And I think everyone at the station remembers it.”

Emily went livid, unable to say something else.

•

Second SUV - ACT 2 (Dave, Spencer and Hotch)

“So you and Emily ?” Dave told his long time friend, looking at him like the proud mentor he was.

The confused look over Aaron’s face made him chuckle, the man had no idea what he was talking about and that was the funniest. “You don’t remember right ?”

He shook his head, looking stern and the usually strict but Dave knew him, he was being intrigued. He cleared his throat, looking at Reid in the rear view mirror, the youngest was fixing his feet, definitely feeling embarrassed.

“What happened ?” Aaron asked, feeling more confused when he saw the way Reid was definitely not looking at him.

“Let’s just say you and Emily had more fun yesterday, beside of the cookies.” Dave started, trying to focus on the road. “You followed her when she went to the restroom and both of you came back in later with some nice hickeys on the neck if you know what I mean.”

Horror crossed Aaron’s face and then he realized, he had literally forgot this part, or his brain made him forget because it was embarrassing, or because he had been too high.

“We…” he slowly said, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, not sure he wanted an answer.

“You did have sex in the restroom and we figured out because of the loud noises we could hear from the conference room.” Dave finished for him, unable to hide his smile, even more when he noticed how Spencer wanted to disappear off this damn car. “More horny than lovesick teenagers. You need to take a room or take some holidays and fuck everywhere you want but not at the police station.”

“Shut up Dave.”

He couldn’t say more, only his laugh friend ringing to his ear.

•

When the two SUV arrived at the station, both Emily and Hotch were livid, looking at the ground and going inside without saying a word. The rest of the team remained outside for a few minutes, JJ breaking the silence.

“How did it go for you?”

“I think we have something to tease them for the rest of our lives.” David chuckled. “And we also resolved the greatest case of the BAU.”

“I think they will never forget this, and if they do it’ll be my pleasure to remind them.” Derek added, his hands on his hips, too amused.

“And I think I’ll need some sleeping pills so Hotch and Prentiss will pay for it.”

They all turned to Reid, Morgan giving him a formal pat on the shoulder, all of them smiling. “Come on kids, our boss needs you.”

The horrified look on Spence’s face made them all burst in tears, Morgan clearing his throat before rectifying himself. “For your intellectual qualities genius boy.”

“I hate all of you. I changed my mind, you are all paying for my therapy.” He pointed his fingers at them, getting inside the same way Hotch and Prentiss did few minutes before.

“Welcome to the BAU.” David sighted. These kids were definitely going to kill him one day.

#hotchniss #hotchniss smut #criminal minds fic #weedcookies #BAU family #aaron hotchner needs a hug #emily prentiss needs a hug #mommy JJ #they are still high but we love them

[gaknar]

Review: Claremont’s Final Chapter

Well this is it. This is the last review I’m going to write for this blog. It covers the last chunk of Chris Claremont’s original run on Uncanny X-Men, along with the crossovers and spinoffs that accompany it. I was thinking that this was going to be a lot more comics, because I completely forgot that I already wrote a review covering the big three X-Men crossovers from the 1980s (Mutant Massacre, Fall of the Mutants, and Inferno). How does that happen? How do I just completely forget that I did bunch of work on a review that’s barely two years old? I’ll tell ya how. Early onset Alzheimer’s. Or maybe I’m busy and not as focused on this blog as I used to be. Nowadays it’s all I can do to keep my queue from emptying out while doing one post a day. I’m a shadow of my former hilarious self. But I still want to tie a bow on what I’ve been doing here for the past seven years, and I guess that’s kind of what this is. I set out with a goal, to read every X-Men comic ever written. How that was to be defined, I didn’t know, but at the very least it was going to include everything up to the end of Claremont’s big run, which I have now accomplished. I’m anxious to keep reading, but I think I’m done writing for now, and maybe indefinitely. I dunno. I haven’t decided yet and I don’t want to speak in absolutes. Only a Sith speaks in absolutes.

I mean how am I gonna be reading this and not be sprinting to my blog to shit post about it. It’s just not possible. I can’t call my mom and troll. “Yeah ma and then they did that shit where they smash the cake in each other’s faces and I puked all over everything! No ma, this was in a comic! A comic!”

For posterity sake, this reading and review cover the following:

Uncanny X-Men #244-279 New Mutants #74-100 X-Factor #40-70 Excalibur #8-25 X-Force #1-4 X-Men Volume 2 #1-3 Days of Future Present Crossover Kings of Pain Crossover 

This collection of comics is the most nostalgic for me. I didn’t start collecting Uncanny X-Men until around issue #250. I was a late comer. I had already missed the best stuff. But the X-Men were still at the top of their game, and this particular run represents the exact set of comics that captivated me as a child. I’m biased toward them. This is generally considered to be the weakest part of Chris Claremont’s 17 year long run, but I cannot find the objectivity to agree with this statement. And during this reading, where I actually got to read everything that lead up to this point in time for the X-Men instead of being cluelessly dropped into the middle of it and not even knowing how to pronounce a lot of the characters names, I found these stories to be even more enjoyable.

When I was a kid, I thought Psylocke was pronounced Pisey-locke. I thought Rogue was Roe-goo. One of my older brother’s friends heard me saying that shit and he laughed his ass off at me.

Tell me what’s wrong with this story. The X-Men have become legends, both in story and in real world pop culture, but then their team is decimated. Storm is killed. Colossus, Rogue, Psylocke, Havok, and Dazzler are consumed by Siege Perilous. Wolverine is captured and broken by an alliance of villains he personally carved into cyborgs during his previous adventures. And Longshot is . . . well nobody remembers what happened to Longshot. And with growing threats rising from all over the world, it’s left to the X-Men’s fourth string, students, and attendants to continue the fight. This was a dire time for the comic, and I think for many it deviated too far from what they had grown comfortable with. These characters were real for a lot of people, and they had been scattered, their family destroyed. There was a sense of tragedy and trauma. A great loss of safety and security for characters that were written so intimately they felt like close friends you visited once a month. But I loved it. These were my first X-Men stories. I was only beginning to form my bonds with these characters, and that process was aided by the narrative drive to see them reunited. For a kid in the 4th grade, this was Shakespearian.

And then Jim Lee came along and ruins everything.

No I didn’t cover the swimsuit issue. I mean, this is it. Here, I’m covering it. Look, Logan’s a never nude. 

I mean, how can I say that. I actively concede that Jim Lee is the best X-Men artist. And that comes after years of maintaining this blog and meticulously reading every X-Men comic that was released, and falling in love with the work of Barry Windsor Smith.

Bill Sienkiewicz

Paul Smith.

Marc Silvestri.

And John Byrne was ok I guess.

In my opinion, as much as I love all those other artists, none of them can touch Jim Lee’s work on X-Men. They are all phenomenally gifted, but Jim Lee was somehow transcendent on a whole other level. And when his talent swirled with the particular aesthetic of the Uncanny X-Men, magic happened. Something new came into existence that permanently imprinted itself onto our pop culture. 

From the characters themselves to crazy alien space-tech, you just can’t beat Jim Lee.

How is it then, that these were the comics, the last issues of Claremont’s run, that killed my interest in the series when I was younger? Claremont was still writing the scripts, but it was clear that something catastrophic had happened behind the scenes. Something was terribly broken. And as much as I wanted to assume that it was all in my head, that there couldn’t have been any hurt feelings because Claremont would return some day, and he would even go on to work with Jim Lee again on other projects, I’m pretty sure that’s not the case. I just watched the Comics In Focus documentary about Chris Claremont, and he tearfully describes his feelings at the time as being “betrayed.” You can feel that in the writing, and it does not make for good entertainment. The final few issues of this run are conflicted and strained, and tedious in their pacing. So unlike the effortless storytelling the series had become known for.

Reading these comics again all these years later brings back memories of why I quit collecting in the first place. By the very end of Chris Claremont’s run, after his narrative plans had been derailed by Jim Lee and their editors, the Uncanny X-Men weren’t stunning anymore. They didn’t stick in my brain and leave me awake at night with a mind full of wonder. They only left me with apathy. This is in contrast to how I felt when I first started reading the series and every issue was a revelation. But I can distinctly remember attempting to read X-Force #1 a second time, searching for some hook to keep me engaged, and there was nothing there. It was an empty, shallow experience that made me question whether I had outgrown the hobby. X-Men Volume 2 reinforced those concerns.

“The writer.” He can’t even be bothered to invoke his name. I’m just going to transcribe this part of the documentary and make some observations. “Comics were boring. Even Marc Silvestri, he’ll admit, he got bored.” This motherfucker thinks the X-Men were just dull as shit until he came along and saved the whole fucking thing. JFC. “Marc had already done the book for like, four or five years. And, but it’s not a job you, you don’t leave that job. It’s the best-selling comic.” This motherfucker thinks THE BEST SELLING COMIC, THE COMIC MORE PEOPLE WERE READING THAN ANY OTHER COMIC IN EXISTENCE was boring until he came along and saved the whole fucking thing. “And the writer had been on it for 15 years. You don’t think he’s burned out?” No Rob, it’s clear he wasn’t burnt out, and you deprived us of another 3-5 years of amazing comics. “It was like hey, the X-Men girls go shopping.” Hey I liked that issue. “In the next issue, the guys go to the mall.” That didn’t even happen! You drew that god damned book and you can’t even remember what it was about!! “And you’re like, this isn’t the X-Men I grew up loving! Where’s Magneto, where’s the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants!? Where’s the stuff that’s gonna psyche me out?” Oh, like fucking Strife and Strobe and Thumbellina? Did that shit psyche you out Rob??

I have given up on X-Men three different times in my life. The first was in 1992, a direct result of the conflict that arose between Claremont and these idiot artists who would stick around for less than a year for abandoning the franchise completely, leaving it in shambles. Looking back at my collection, I made it to issue #7 of X-Men Volume 2 and I was done. The buildup to Onslaught brought me back in 1996, in particular the famous cover proclaiming someone had stopped the Juggernaut which I found in a back issue bin. But I did not last long, only seeing that storyline through and losing interest again by the time Heroes Reborn got underway and it was clear that the clowns in charge didn’t actually have any interesting story ideas past the initial Onslaught concept. Finally, in 2001 it was the one-two punch of Grant Morrison’s new X-Men and Claremont’s own X-Treme X-Men that brought me back one more time. And this time I stuck with it for a good 10 years before a combination of Brian Michael Bendis and Marvel’s agenda to bury the X-Men killed my interest in modern X-Men comics to this day. 

I could not stand the idea of the original teenage X-Men becoming the main characters again. There was no blander, more basic concept in my opinion. Other than that shit Rob Liefeld came up with in X-Force.

Despite this on again off again relationship, the X-Men have always been with me. I have always wanted to stay engaged with what was going on in their lives. And that led to the creation of this blog. I wanted to start reading again, but the only way to do that was to start at the beginning and go from there. And I’ve loved reading almost every comic I read for this blog. Analyzing and summarizing each issue allowed me to recreate the experience of reading these comics as a kid, when I read each comic 5 or 6 times through the course of the month as I anticipated the release of the next and finally moved on. That reading pace is very hard to emulate in the age of collected editions, where we might instead read several issues in a single sitting and never look back again. It’s a completely different experience.

But going forward, I don’t think it’s going to be so important. I’m not going to want to linger on Scott Lobdell’s writing, or Rob Liefeld’s garbage artwork. I’m not going to want to struggle to think of something interesting to say about comics I’m apathetic toward. I’m going to keep reading, but I don’t know to what extent, if any, I’ll comment on them here.

Again, I don’t know how I’m going to be reading this shit and not need someone to talk to about it. So don’t completely give up on me. 

I recently read through Sandman for the first time, in tandem with reading X-Men comics for this blog. It was obviously very good, but it was also very dense and challenging, and it took forever since I was splitting my comic book time with blog tasks. Then I finally read the deluxe volumes of Saga I’ve owned for years but haven’t had time to read. Compared to Sandman they were a light, breezy walk through a sunny, petal soaked field. It made me excited to read some more of the independent books I've collected over the years. Oh and there’s also these.

I’m way overdue here. I bought all these books and have yet to crack any them open. But every single day they call to me. But of course I can’t start with these. I’m going to read Hickman’s Fantastic Four first, and then his Avengers, and then Secret Wars, and THEN I’ll read these. The time has come for me to start reading modern X-Men again.

In case you can’t tell, this review is also serving as a retrospective for this blog in general. Sorry to spring that on you. I really, really appreciate those who read along with me, corrected my mistakes, offered better insights than I could come up with, and explained the shit that went straight over my head. It wasn’t like reading these comics in a vacuum like I did when I was a kid. It was like being part of an awesomely nerdy reading group. I appreciated every single like and comment you made, and those who stuck with me for an extended period. I saw every engagement you made, even if that wasn’t obvious. I don’t know if this will be my last post, but this is it for now. Thanks everyone.

#xmfbte #clare5 #review

[blossom-adventures]

Kingsglaive Legends 2023! Organised by @calling4glaives

Day 3: Training (Feat. Nyx & Drautos)

It was the hottest day of the year, the height of summer, the training grounds in the Citadel were exposed to the full sun at this time of day. Captain Drautos had called off training when he saw how the Glaive were struggling, he let them go home, and they did just that, all but one.

Nyx sprinted through the obstacle course, throwing his dagger and warping to it, his face was covered in sweat and his legs felt like they were ready to give up from under him, but he couldn’t stop, he needed to get stronger, if he wanted to protect his home and protect his people, he needed to keep training, even in these conditions.

As he finished the course, for the fourth time, his legs wobbled, and his stomach churned, he leant forward, taking in deep gulps of air as he prepared to go round for the 5th time.

“Ulric!” Nyx spun around and stood to attention in response to the Captains voice behind him, expecting to see the Captain in his usual uniform, but surprisingly he wasn’t wearing it; instead he was wearing formal trousers and suede shoes, and a dark red, button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up revealing his forearms, which were adorned in intricate woven leather bands of various colours. “I didn’t think I’d have to order anyone to stop training today, Ulric” Drautos said as he approached, he summoned a bottle of cold water into his hand, from the Armiger granted to him by King Regis, and handed it to Nyx. “Don’t kill yourself out here, Nyx.”

“I need to get quicker, I let you down in the last mission, if I had been faster, then…”

“You didn’t let me down, and you did nothing wrong, Hero,” Drautos put his hand on Nyx’s shoulder. “Everyone survived, with only one injury in the whole group, I call that a pretty successful mission, in my experience”

“But… but we didn’t achieve our main goal?”

“Do you think I care? You all survived, that is a success for me, now, stop training in this heat. I’ve got no problem with you training in the gym, but if I find out you’ve stayed out here after I’ve left, I’ll put you on desk or gate duty for a month, am I clear?”

“Yes Sir”

“Good,” the Captain checked his phone, “right, my ride is here, see you tomorrow” he clapped Nyx on the shoulder and turned to leave, just as Violet Amicitia came into the training yard “heading to the gym, Violet?” He asked as he walked up to the 18 year old

“Yeah, going to work on weights today” Drautos gave her a smile and whispered something to her, as he walked off she shouted after him “enjoy your date, Titus!” She picked up her small gym bag and walked over to Nyx “hi, Nyx!”

“The Captain has a date?!”

“Oh don’t sound so surprised, he has a life outside the Citadel, you know” Violet laughed, “are you still training? Or are you done for the day?”

“I don’t know yet, why?”

“I was just wondering, because I was going to do some weight training, but everyone who I usually ask to be a spotter for me is busy, I understand if you want to head home but… if your free?”

“Sure, I can help you” Violet smiled brightly

“Thanks” she walked past Nyx, across the training yard, with him catching up with her a moment later “I might try for a personal best now that I have you helping me”

#blossom rambles #kingsglaive legends 2023 #day 3: training #ffxv #kingsglaive final fantasy xv #nyx ulric #titus drautos #blossom’s oc violet amicitia

[nani-nonny]

Sneak Peeks

I was relaxing and having a few drinks to really enjoy my Spring Break when I realized I hadn’t updated LCD in like… 3 weeks? Give or take? So, I decided to share what I’ve been working on in that time because I didn’t stop writing hehe. Below the cut are sneak peeks for BYMH Part 2 (Peepaw Interview), LCD Ch.7, and WDS Ch.1.

BYMH Part 2

First question: Have you ever met the other peepaws? For example: OMO, WMAS, MNMC, etc…

Reunion freezes in his seat and his eyes widened in shock. “There’s more of us?!”

Fourth question: If you had the chance to reset the clock—not time travel to the past like you have already—all the way back to the day the Krang invaded, would you take it?

Reunion shifts awkwardly in his seat and looks away. His hand tightens on his knee and creates a fist that slams on the tense muscle of his thigh. He swallows before saying, “I… I’m guessing that’s a question for the others… right?”

Leonardo Come Down - Ch.7 (#2)

Splinter jumps off his chair to drag Leon by the hand to the table. He sits his son next to Casey and takes his plate to the sink. “Talk to Casey, I’m going to… think about what to say when he comes home.”

Splinter pats Leon’s hand before he leaves the kitchen. Leon scratches Splinter off his list, but he watches his father’s shoulders slump the farther the rat gets from the kitchen. Are they…?

Whispers of Distant Souls - Ch.1(?)

He mumbles to himself like a spell, “A ninja’s greatest weapon: hope. Hope will get me through this. I can’t give up.”

Leonardo’s fist tightens again and he sucks in a sharp breath. He shuts his eyes as he forces himself to sit up, changing his position to sit on the back of his ankles all while holding tightly to his wound with his prosthetic. He breathes slowly before opening his eyes to assess the situation.

WDS Sneak Peek Bonus:

“Would have hoped to tell you before he found you, but you’re adopted. Papa wanted to tell you before our eighteenth.” -Donnie

Are you really siblings if you don’t try to trick them into believing they’re adopted?

Anyways, I’m almost done with WDS CH.1 but I want to post it when I have the entire story planned out. I already knew how I wanted the story to start but it really needs a little more oomph in its entirety so I’ll focus on that before ch.1 is uploaded.

And LCD Ch.7 might be a bit of a slow one since it’s leading into a bit of a bigger picture so disclaimer if it’s a bit boring(?). Think of it as the calm before the storm.

BYMH still needs some work because I’m deciding whether I want to post WDS’s answers from part 1’s questions before or after his first chapter is uploaded. Well, that and I’m thinking if I want to add another question because the interview is about four questions long? Idk I’m an indecisive person so the answers to my own questions will probably come up soon.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #peepaw multiverse #rottmnt future leo #rottmntfanficwip #rottmnt fanfiction #future leo au #future leo returns to the past with casey au #between you and me and him #leonardo come down #whispers of distant souls

[aventurasdeunatortuga]

Beijing

The past week or so has been spent in Beijing with my best friend from college, Irene. Irene has been living in Beijing since 2019 and teaches English at a high school here. I’ve really enjoyed getting to see her neck of the woods and have been so grateful to have her as a guide because China, especially Beijing, is very overwhelming.

I’ve been to Beijing before, in 2018, but it was just for a day and a half and things have changed a lot since then. Beijing is definitely comparable at least in my experience to Mexico City. It is absolutely enormous and a beast to get around in, but there is so much to see and do and every neighborhood is so interesting and different. After being here a week I’ve barely scratched the surface, but I’ll go through by day.

Day 1, Sunday

We spent most of the day traveling from Macau to Beijing and getting ourselves situated. I was very nervous about flying into Mainland China as they are quite strict at border control and only very recently reopened the border to foreigners. Things only recently opened back up about 3 months ago. I made it through without a problem though and we made our way to the place I’m renting for the week. China does not allow foreigners to stay with residents without going through a long and arduous registration process, so I’m staying in an apartment about 25 minutes away from Irene, which is considered very close by Beijing standards.

Absolutely everything in China is done via apps and QR codes. Everything from riding the bus to ordering food in a restaurant to getting a taxi to paying your water bill; it is all done via apps that are mainly in Chinese. Thank goodness for Irene helping me get all the right apps set up showing me the ropes. After a week here I’ve finally figured out how to do most things by myself. It is certainly very convenient, you don’t need to talk to anyone or even carry around a wallet in most places.

In the evening we did a food tour with Lost Plate tours, it was really cool because they took us around to a lot of off the beaten track restaurants you’d never be able to find on your own and we tried some really amazing dishes.

All of the restaurants were in the Wudaoying Hutong, one of the historic neighborhoods in central Beijing. In total we visited 4 restaurants.

We tried 炸酱面 (zhajiangmian) hand pulled noodles with savory plum sauce and fresh vegetables (my personal favorite), 烤肉(kao rou) old school Mongolian style barbecue cooked with hot briquettes right on your table with a flat grill top. The style originated with soldiers building cook-fires literally inside their helmets, laying their shields on top, and cooking on that. We also had 门钉肉饼 (men ding rou bing) gigantic pork buns, fried on both sides and 春饼 (chun bing) spring pancakes with a variety of fillings. We rode on rickshaws around the hutong to get in between the different restaurants, it was so much fun. By the time we finished at a brewery after the fourth restaurant, we were absolutely stuffed, and made our way back for the night. Beijing is in a heat wave right now, with temperatures ranging from 95-104 degrees every day for the past 2.5 weeks, but in the evening in the hutongs it finally cooled down a bit and it was really lovely to walk around and see the neighborhood.

Day 2, Monday

Today was a lot more laid back. Irene had to work today, that meant that I stayed in my apartment in the air conditioning to rest and recover from the last crazy few days. I ventured out a bit in the afternoon to a nearby mall to find food. Malls in Asia are no joke, they are like small cities with every single kind of store you can think of. In the evening Irene and I walked back to that same mall and ate at a Mexican restaurant, then we walked a bit and explored the Chaoyang area I’m staying in. Even this one small area is enormous, we’ve been averaging about 20,000 steps a day even without doing all that much today. We saw the local river, the Liangma River, and visited another mall. It was very beautiful.

Day 3, Tuesday

Today was another rest day, I did not leave my room until 5pm today. It’s hard feeling like I’m missing out on things when I take rest days; but I’m in China for about 3 more weeks, and know that if I don’t take these rest days I will burn out from exhaustion very quickly. Especially with our trend of walking 8+ miles every day in 90+ degree weather.

In the evening we met up with a former student of Irene’s, Vicki, for Beijing style hot-pot. If you’re not familiar with hot pot it is exactly as it sounds, you’re given a hot pot of broth or hot water and tons of ingredients that you can add in as you choose to cook in the pot and take out as they become ready to eat. Beijing style is a little different because instead of being heated from underneath on a hot plate or stove; a very tall burning hot cylinder is with hot briquettes is placed directly inside the pot, with a little chimney at the top for the smoke to escape. It’s hard to describe, so see the video above to see what it’s like. We ate so much food and were absolutely stuffed.

Later we walked to the Central Business District (known as CBD in Beijing 😆). There were tons of skyscrapers and interesting buildings, its where all the major Chinese corporations have their headquarters. We took photos at a famous building known as the “Pants” building because it looks literally like a pair of pants.

Day 4, Wednesday

Today was my last partial rest day for a while. Irene got off work early today so in the afternoon I met up with her and we went to 798, which is the former industrial area turned trendy artists’ neighborhood. There were a lot of abandoned factories here that have been turned into artists’ residences, studios, and galleries and is near Beijing’s major art colleges. There was a lot of public art that was cool to see. We ate at a giant shaved ice place and ordered way too much food. Who knew ice was so filling 😂

Later I got to visit Irene’s apartment, and then she packed a bag to come stay the night at my place as we had an early start tomorrow. We ordered dim sum delivery and watched dramas which in my book is an excellent evening.

Day 5, Thursday

Today was spent visiting Irene’s school. Back when I was teaching university level English in Mexico City, Irene was able to visit me and spend the day at my school so it was really cool to do it the other way around today.

Irene’s school is absolutely enormous. It is a K-12 private boarding school on the outskirts of Beijing. It reminded me a lot of a US college campus. Most of the students except for the young students and students who come from other provinces live on campus during the week and go home on the weekends. Most of these students plan on attending college abroad at prestigious universities in places like the UK, the US, Canada, and Australia after graduating. They get English instruction from a very young age and are thus very fluent by the time they graduate.

Irene teaches grade 10-12 English, with between 8-20 students per class. I was amazed by how self-sufficient and responsible the majority of the students were (compared to my absolutely feral first graders back home). They were doing a study of the story The Most Dangerous Game and then created characters to role play in a DnD campaign based on the story; which I thought was really cool. Irene’s prep period was right before the lunch break, so we had a full 2.5 hours for lunch. We ate Xinjiang cuisine at a mall nearby the school, Xinjiang is in northwestern China bordering Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and Afghanistan so the cuisine was a unique mix of Middle Eastern and Chinese food; it was really really good. We didn’t realize we were eating there on the Eid holiday though and the restaurant was packed.

Later after teaching 3 classes Irene introduced me to a student of hers that wants to be an elementary school teacher after graduating. I hope I didn’t scare her off too much from the field. It was really cool but weird to talk with someone that age who is considering colleges and careers; I’m 29 and still feel like a kid most of the time, but thinking back to being 16/17 and thinking about how much I’ve learned and grown and experienced since then was very eye opening. Irene and I gave her a lot of advice about college etc. and we remembered being 21 and having all these anxieties about graduating and finding a job and all that and wow it is crazy how time flies and we are able to actually give advice about that stuff, it feels like just yesterday we were stressing about the exact same things she is stressing about.

In the evening we went to one of Irene’s favorite restaurants, The Taco Bar. Way back in 2013 Irene studied abroad in Beijing and was missing the easy access to Mexican cuisine we have in the US (specifically burritos) and went on a legendary search we now refer to as The Burrito Quest where she searched out and tried every single Mexican restaurant in Beijing, which is harder than it sounds. The Taco Bar didn’t have burritos, but it was hands down the winner of best Mexican restaurant in Beijing according to Irene. She has been coming here since 2013 even when their original location closed down, to their new location, and through the pandemic. We had an enormous amount of food and again ended the day extremely stuffed.

We had planned on this being our goodbye dinner, but we had discovered that Irene’s apartment had had a power cut. Rather than spend the night in darkness in 103 degree heat she decided to stay at my place again. But this meant embarking on an odyssey across Beijing to her apartment to get her stuff since she is traveling again this weekend; and then going back to my place for the air conditioning; this journey on Beijing public transport at rush hour during a heat wave was a major feat.

After 19,000 steps and a 2.5 hour trek we finally collapsed back at my place to sleep.

Day 6 Friday

Early in the morning I said goodbye to Irene as she headed off to work, she is traveling this weekend so she was going to the airport straight from work. I’ll really miss traveling with her, although I love solo travel, the best way to travel I think is with a close friend.

Today was my sightseeing day. I’ve been to Beijing before and have seen The Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, and the Great Wall before; and given the heat had no desire to confront the crowds there again.

So on Irene’s recommendation today I visited the Summer Palace. It is an enormous complex where the emperor would visit in the summer months in northern Beijing. It is much smaller than the main palace at the Forbidden City in central Beijing, but even so it was enormous. The emperor had it constructed when the capital of China was moved to Beijing in the 1300’s and many elements of the palace were modeled after areas in other places in China that the emperor liked.

There was a shopping street modeled after a town in southern China that I’m visiting later on in this trip. It is famous for being built on the water and it was my favorite area in the palace. There was an enormous manmade lake that was built to be Beijing’s emergency water supply and modeled after a famous lake in Kunming and was used to train naval officers. It was truly enormous. The land excavated from building the lake was used to create a 200ft tall hill upon which the palace itself was constructed. There were also literally thousands of smaller structures built throughout the massive forest grounds. I sat next to an old man on a bench for about 40 minutes while I ate a snack and did some people watching. Everyone else was moving so much and there were so many people but me and that old man were just vibing.

Most of the palace was looted by the British in the late 1800s, but the buildings themselves and natural structures were in amazing condition and it was really cool to see, albeit the heat.

Then I headed over to Nanluoguxiang hutong, another historic neighborhood in central Beijing. This is considered to be rather touristy, most of the original buildings were destroyed in renovations of the city, but were reconstructed to look like traditional neighborhoods in Imperial China, called hutongs. It is a very beautiful area, with streams and lots of people walking about. I visited here in 2018 and it was my favorite area of Beijing to just walk around in. I had some lunch and explored for a while and did some shopping.

My final stop of the day was Baiyunguan, the White Cloud Temple in southern Beijing. It is one of the oldest Taoist temples in China and is nearby a famous Taoist College. By this point in the day I was pretty exhausted from the 103 degree heat and having spent about 6 hours on public transportation and walking in crowded tourist sites. It was incredible to walk into the temple from the loud crowded street and immediately felt how calm and quiet it was. It was literally completely silent except for the wind and the birds.

I walked around the temple for a while. Taoism is one of several traditional Chinese religions, which work in synch with each other. Many Chinese people practice elements of Taoism, Confucianism, Buddhism, and animism. Taoism is all about finding balance and peace in the natural world. The temples themselves are actually called 观 (guan) which translates to look at or observe. This comes from the Taoist belief that understanding comes from looking at or observing the natural world, so the temples are places to look and observe. There were lots of very beautiful areas, some statues of deities people offered incense to, and lots of displays of art and calligraphy. It was very peaceful and a nice way to end the day.

I made my way back and collapsed for the rest of the day.

That’s it for Beijing, I’m amazed if you made it all the way through this very long post. It was great to spend time here. I am writing this post on a plane ride to my next stop, Zhangjiajie in Hunan province in south central China. Stay tuned!

#china #beijing #travel #asia

[am3ricanj3sus]

4/24

song of the day:

yayayay another anxiety filled day!!!!!! YES!!!! i’m gonna die bro. but I chose to focus on the happy things. it was js a little sad tho. my friends could tell I was off but I js told them that I was tired. it’s whatever tho life goes on.

in first period we started using the sewing machines and I thought it was gonna be easy but nahhhh. I wanted to die. I accidentally made a nest like two times and it’s so embarrassing like. but I think tmrw i’ll do better. I js was scared so I think i’ll get used to it. in second we started reading a new book and it’s kinda fire so far. it’s a dystopian novel so yeah. talking about it also js made me remember I had work so…. I wont do that!!! in third my teacher wasn’t there so blah blah blah. I js played my little games and talked to my friends. fourth was pretty normal. I made another plate liek yesterday and it is kinda ass. also I am starting to think this guy in the class is cute. but he sits at the table where all the annoying guys sit so it’s like…. I do like that class tho. it’s something i’ve always wanted to do so it’s cool. but that was the day.

I cant wait for summer to start ugh. i’m going on a big trip and I think that it’ll fix everything. I js needa get out of this town (I sound so movie wattpad) it’s js like I literally can’t do anything. my parents aren’t like strict in anyway it’s js they don’t want me going to certain places cause they grew up here and they know how much it’s changed. and I don’t blame my friends for getting annoyed but I only listen to my parents to get the other freedoms that I have. like i’m not very restricted on many aspects in life and ik they js want me to be. also like I js don’t like going out that often.

but to talk about my favorite thing: crushes!!!! dude I literally can’t even. I have like 4 now. like 3 in the past week this is embarrassing. there’s the guy i’m friends with, mr c and the dude in my fourth period. like they’re all really small crushes but they’re there. mr c is probably the biggest. I really want to talk to him and get into one of his classes next year but I don’t think that i’ll be able to since i’m taking so many other things that need to be done. like I have to retake part of a class and that’s sooooo. but it’s whatever. i’ve told like 12 of my friends about my crush on him and they all like agree in a way. I mean he is super young. like 25. he went to our school to. like he may have come back to his old school to teach but I don’t think he peaked here. anyways he wasn’t here today I was sooooo sad. I walked by his class with a friend that also thinks he’s cute and was like “FUCKKKKKK” really loud lowkey like…. embarrassing! and this other guy I have a crush on was right in front of me. and this other guy, i’ve literally had a crush on him since like october. it’s not even funny. like I don’t know what it is. he’s like smart? and quiet? and cute? and like ugh. but he also has sooo many downsides. but I wont say them that’s embarrassing. he got this bad haircut recently but now that it’s fluffed out it’s kinda eating. I really wish he’d bring back his hair cut from october - december tho. it was soooo amazing. like it was slicked back and ooooh. and his hair now it’s like eh. it’s like slicked back but a mullet. I think he got a low taper fade this shit not hard. also I found out his birthday. and I may or may not have done something with that info muah ha ha. he’s an aquarius what the fuck. nasty. sorry to my fellow water signs. anyways like

I think everyone js needs to disappear. like I need the earth to myself for a solid 25 years. anyways i’m tired. honk shoooooo

#Spotify

[somewhatofablog]

29/09/2023 - collaborative research task

For this task, we had to collaborate with each other on our text analyses. The task was split into three steps:

The first step was to pair up with someone else and explain the basis of our text to that person. We had to make notes on what we learned about each other's texts - what new ideas, concepts or ways of thinking have we discovered? We had to also find links between our text and understand how they were related.

The second step was to join another pair to make a group of four. In our groups, we had 10 minutes to explain the two texts that we've read, and a summary of the conversation we had in our pairs so far. We had to make notes on any links we could find between all 4 texts. Questions we had to ask ourselves included 'are there common themes?', 'do new ideas, thoughts and reflections come out of the conversations that you are having?' and so on.

The third step was to finally write an annotated bibliography for each of your 4 texts. Essentially, our entries (no more than 200 words) needed to include reflection, connections to wider themes/ideas/contexts and possibly critique. We needed to also include a single image in our entries that would represent the essence of our texts. The bibliography needed to be cited in Harvard style (but we could grab that from the texts document on Moodle).

There was supposed to be a fourth step and that was to upload our finalised cited entries on Padlet via Moodle, but for some reason I could not do that (I think I couldn't sign in Outlook/Microsoft for whatever reason). Either ways, I'm going to write up our findings here. Though I have gone back since Friday 29/09 and have updated each entry (and I've added images since they weren't originally on the Google Docs we all pasted our analyses on).

STEP 1

So I paired up with another person whose assigned text was Towards Relational Design by Andrew Blauvelt. Together we discussed each other's texts and found a lot of similarities between our texts. This was the original summary I wrote about my partner’s assigned text:

This text is concerned with the evolution of art over time and how different art movements have affected modern art. How artificial intelligence is going to have an effect on modern artwork and the concept of no longer needing human designers involved with production of art. Mass production was also a key point in this text - a robot designer in a museum in the Netherlands can produce up to 600 original artworks, which a human cannot possibly do.

I’m obviously going to need to rewrite the summary, so that it could have a lot more substance than…whatever this is. This will mean I will have to read the text and make my own judgements but ugh, I really don’t want to. But then I won’t feel fulfilled that I’ve done this task justice, so I will be reading all four texts in full. Yay me.

STEP 2

Both me and partner grouped up with another pair and all four of us quickly discussed our analyses. The texts were Designing Programmes by Karl Gerstner and Zeros and Ones: Digital Women and the New Technoculture by Sadie Plant. Eventually, we found the links between all four of them and here are my notes on both of those texts. Keep in mind, these notes are a lot more rough as I was quickly typing as we each took turns explaining our analyses of our texts in full:

Notes on Designing Programmes by Karl Gerstner:

Designing programmes text (3) - analyisng mathematical functions + codes and put it into a program and make it a foundation for your program

Talks about angles, textures, photos

Links to design - foundation for your designs, softwares like Photoshop + InDesign, algorithmic, rules + regulations for graphic design

Criticism - can’t rely on this coding because of lack of human creativity 

Similar to my text - both texts explain usage of algorithms as a basis of programming (which then leads to AI etc)

Notes on:

‘Zero + ones (18)’ - text is about the inequalities between men and women (particularly the exploitation of women) and how the rise in the advancing technology pushes this narrative/reality

I didn't type much for this text, only because I couldn't keep up with the analysis. I'll have a deeper look into this text anyways, seeing as I am interested in the links between the mistreatment of women and the rise in technology advancements. I have a feeling things have only gotten worse since this book was written (which was 1997!)

STEP 3

We all wrote up our annotated bibliographies. We honestly just copied the citations from the Moodle doc and just pasted it before the beginning of our short entries. This what it currently looks like:

Plant, S. (1997) Zeros + Ones: Digital Women + the New Technoculture. London: Fourth Estate. pp. 32–37

Upon reading the by; Plant, S. (1997) Zeros + Ones: Digital Women + the New Technoculture, I concluded that from the comparison between modern technology and the exploitation of women, the writer seeks to highlight the inequality between men and women by addressing the notion that women are mere servants and assistants to men, the words; “He ruled, she served” proves this point well. Similarly, postwar computer systems which became more widely accessible in the 1970s were developed to assist the corporate workforce, largely dominated by men. Just like women for a long time have been viewed as nothing more than helpers to men, computers are the same, but because the computer in this scenario is a literal object to which the women are being compared too, it emphasises the objectification women have endured throughout history. 

Cohen, H. (1974) On Purpose: An enquiry into the possible roles of the computer in art. Available at: https://www.studiointernational.com/index.php/on-purpose-an- enquiry-into-the-possible-roles-of-the-computer-in-art (Accessed: 29/09/2023)

This text is about how computers can be seen as ‘artists’ in their own right. Cohen was concerned with how he could program the computer/machines to create art instead of just using punched cards that would already have preset ideas for the outcome. He experimented with coding programmes and produced artwork using a teletype and a computer system. He also talks about the difficult mathematical concept of ‘recursion’ as being a system/structure and how that can be applied to computer art. It’s the idea of a structure having provided itself with ‘something’ by its last function/process.

Blauvelt, A. (2008) Towards Relational Design. Available at: https://walkerart.org/magazine/towards-relational-design (Accessed: 29/09/2023) 

This text was about the evolution of design throughout time and how society has influenced art movements throughout art history. Later they talk about how they think art trends are going to change and develop in the future. They discuss how programming systems will aid in creating art in the future.

Gerstner, K. (2021) Designing Programmes (re-print). Zurich: Lars MÜller, pp. 6–18

This text mainly uses a set of systematic data to digitize some design elements and design methods, model programming, and some of their applications. In the author's illustrated explanation, he does not provide us with a specific idea, but some objective skills supported by data, such as grid diagrams, structures, rules, and the technical basis of the design. Compared with broader concepts, this book seems to be more inclined to be a "reference book", which provides a systematic idea and guidance for our design through the support of data and systematization.

There'll be a separate post with the link to the finalised collaborative text and with images too!

#unit 5 #research #2nd year

[johnhardinsawyer]

“My Cup Runneth Over”

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

4 / 30 / 23 – Fourth Sunday of Easter

Psalm 23

John 10:1-10

“My Cup Runneth Over”

(Sharing the Abundant Life)

All she wants is one good tasting cup of coffee in the morning.  And all he wants is to make said good cup of coffee for her.  He puts the coffee beans in the grinder.  While it’s grinding, he measures out the water and pulls out two coffee mugs (placing 2/3 teaspoon of sugar in each).  He then scoops the right amount of ground coffee into the French Press, pours just enough water in to “bloom” the grounds for a minute, and then pours the rest of the water in – setting a timer for nine minutes.  While it steeps, he pours half-and-half into the milk frother on the kitchen counter and when the coffee has steeped for seven minutes, he presses “start” on the milk frother.  When the coffee is ready, he pushes the plunger on the French Press, pours an equal amount into each coffee mug, carefully stirring so the sugar has a chance to dissolve.  Then he pours the frothed half and half into the mugs.  Sometimes, he gets a little excited and pours too much – the froth piling up on the top and sometimes running down the side.  There can be a lot of love poured into a cup of coffee.  And sometimes, that cup runneth over.

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  (John 10:10)

She didn’t know why, but one Wednesday, she decided to join the exercise class at the gym.  “I’m glad you’re here,” the teacher said.  “Just so you know – be kind to yourself.  It’s okay to move at your own pace.”  Then the teacher began to bark orders to the class:  “All right!  Lift this!  Jump here!  Run there!”  For a solid hour, she moved in ways she hadn’t moved in years and worked muscles that she didn’t know existed.  Even though she did go at her own pace, she felt quite slow and clumsy.  There were people in the class – at least ten years older – who did every exercise with the utmost grace and barely broke a sweat.  There were moments when she wanted to give up, moments when she felt poured out, but she kept going.  When she got done, she stopped in the locker room to wash her sweat streaked face – the words “be kind to yourself” ringing in her ears – and she said to herself, “This is the body that I have – the body I’ve been given – and I’m going to move it as best I can.”  For a moment, her beating heart swelled with pride and she wiped away a tear and smiled.

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  (John 10:10)

Last week, I stood at a graveside, across the street, for a memorial service.  The man whose ashes we buried and his wife who had driven the ashes over from Maine had no children and no extended family.  There were just three of us there – a grave digger, a grieving widow, and I.  After the service ended, the wife talked to me about how hard the past several years have been – her husband’s illness and having to make big decisions alone.  She just needed to get some things off her chest – just needed someone to listen.  So, that’s what I did.  When she was done sharing, she breathed a big sigh – almost a sigh of relief –  thanked me, and went on her way.  The gravedigger and I stood there for a moment and I said, “Well, that was the smallest funeral I have ever been to.”  “Well,” he said, “there’s a first time for everything.”  I guess so, but it didn’t have to be that way.  

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  (John 10:10)

John Robinson turns 100 years old today.  He is the oldest living member of our congregation and will be celebrating with friends and family this afternoon.  Of all of the conversations I have had with John, there is one that sticks out in my mind.  When he turned 95, I was visiting with him and his wife, Phyllis, in their small quiet home not far from here and I asked him to tell me about growing older.  What was it like to have lived 95 years?  “Well,” he said, “when I think about how I could have died on Iwo Jima, but didn’t, every day is a gift.”  Iwo Jima – the horrific battle for a small Pacific island in World War II – took place in 1945.  There have been a lot of days since then and not every one of them has been easy for John – especially when his son died of cancer and John’s wife was in declining health – but still, he could have died on Iwo Jima and every day is a gift.  John’s cup runneth over.  

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  (John 10:10) 

When I spoke with Sarah Stone on Thursday of this week, she was in the hospital, waiting to feel bad.  The T-Cells that had been harvested from her body several months ago and sent to California to be reengineered to fight Sarah’s leukemia were injected back into Sarah’s body on Tuesday.  The way Sarah’s CAR-T treatment works, the reengineered T-Cells cells attack the leukemia cells.  Once the T-Cells go into attack mode, Sarah’s immune system will likely be thrown for a loop and she will start to feel sick – nausea, high fevers, chills, not remembering words – but this hopefully won’t last for long.  To get to this point, over the years, in order to develop this treatment, some leukemia patients did not survive the shock of this immune supernova.  Thankfully, scientists have settled on ways to lessen the negative effects of this.  And even though she will feel bad for a time and it will be so hard.  As of yesterday, Sarah still is feeling pretty good.  But more importantly, she feels blessed – by her family, and her church family, and friends, and staff at the hospital who gave her a red carpet welcome this past week.  Her cup runneth over.

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  (John 10:10)

Jesus had just healed a blind man.  You would think that everyone would have celebrated this miraculous event.  But, because Jesus had healed the man on the Sabbath day – “working” on an official day of rest, and because this miracle was undeniable because the formerly blind man was well known to everyone in the area and it was clear that he was no longer blind, some of the local powers-that-be caused a big stink. The man and his family were questioned at length and doubt was cast upon Jesus and his motives.  But Jesus’ response – which we find in today’s scripture reading from John’s Gospel – was to make sure that people knew what his motives were. . . what his motives are.  

There are plenty of times when figures of speech are used in the Bible – metaphors and similes.  One of the most famous of these figures of speech is when God is referred to as a shepherd and we – God’s people – are referred to as sheep.  Now, as I look around the room, I don’t see any baa-baa sheep with wooly coats, but I do see people who long for a God who looks after them, protects them, and takes care of them like a shepherd who cares for sheep.  According to Jesus, there are those who are actively not seeking the wellbeing of God’s people – God’s sheep.  These so-called thieves and bandits, for example, are not interested in a man who was born blind being healed, or saved, or made whole in body or spirit.  But Jesus has come that we “may have life – a life of love, and peace, and wholeness – and have it abundantly.”

Now, it is important to note that when Jesus talks about “abundant life,” he does not mean that life will always be filled with abundance when it comes to money or material wealth.  There are so many in our world – from the poorest of the poor to those who are just one major car repair or missed mortgage payment away from financial ruin – who still live lives of abundant and amazing grace.  In the original language, “abundant life” is life that is “extraordinary, remarkable”[1] because this is what life can be when it is life lived in and through God’s grace.  

This is the life that the author of Psalm 23 sings about – a life in which God is present with us when all is well and life couldn’t be better and a life in which God is present with us even in – and through – death’s dark valley.  Because of God’s loving and tender care, we are blessed with an abundance of grace at all times and in all places.  Our cup runneth over.  

I feel like I do need to acknowledge, here, that it is one thing to say that we are blessed in all times and places because of God’s love, but it might not always feel this way.  We all have moments in which it feels like our cup is not running over – moments in which our cup is empty and we feel all dried up.  

Just prior to the famous “The Lord is my Shepherd. . . my cup overflows” (Psalm 23:1, 5) lines of Psalm 23, we have the slightly less famous – but maybe more true-to-life lines of Psalm 22:  “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me. . . I am poured out like water. . . my mouth is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws.”  (Psalm 22:1, 14-15). “God, I am sick, and tired, and lonely.  Where are you?”  We should note that both Psalm 22 and Psalm 23 were likely written by the same person – David, the shepherd who became a king.  The unease and anxiety of Psalm 22 and the relief and comfort of Psalm 23 can both run concurrently in our lives, but – by God’s grace – hopefully the relief and comfort win out in the end.  

Sometimes, it is in going through the poured out and dried up seasons of our lives – walking through death’s dark valley – that God grants us the gracious perspective to appreciate the blessings we have been given – to appreciate just how extraordinary, and remarkable, and abundant life can be.  

Where and when is your life extraordinary, and remarkable, and abundant?  I’m sure there are stories you can tell about unexpected blessings, the gifts of love and hope and comfort given at just the right time, the time you found your way or God led the way through to a new beginning or a peaceful resolution, the time when all seemed lost or you were lost but somehow you made it home into God’s loving arms.  It might just have been a fleeting moment or a long and deep connection, but I hope that you have had one of those cup-runneth-over times, one of those abundant, extraordinary, and remarkable times in which you have known God’s blessing and love and care.  And I hope that you may have played a part in sharing some of God’s abundant life with someone else.  

When they got to church, they realized just how long it had been for them.  It had been a long three years – a long pandemic.  Some of the faces looked familiar but they couldn’t remember many names.  Someone different was sitting in the pew that they had always sat in before, so they had to find a different seat.  But when the music began, and the prayers were prayed, and the songs were sung, and the story was told, and the bread was broken, and the cup was poured, it felt like coming home.  And, at the end, after singing about God’s “Amazing Grace,” when someone they did not know looked at them and earnestly offered the Peace of Christ to them, it felt like heaven on earth.  

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  (John 10:10). With God’s help, may we envision a church, and community, and world that is more loving, peaceful, and whole – a life that is more extraordinarily abundant – on earth as it is in heaven.  

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  

[1] Walter Bauer, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1979) 651.