#I'm experimenting with my style just a little

[citrus-lamb]

HEY UHH CNA I REQUEST?

Logan x reader but the reader is very good at martial arts

So like maybe a headcannon or a story?...

a/n : hello! i got a little too into the story so it's pretty long, but i hope you enjoy! i tried my best with the martial arts thing, but the language could be wrong so i do apologize for that! it might be a bit ooc, as i'm trying to write these characters still. i enjoyed writing this, so i hope you enjoy reading it!

song : unspoken (dex)

Arcades are generally boring. You wouldn’t pick this place to hang out with the group, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, so you didn’t mind that much. You were zoning out, staring at the group and making sure no one got hurt.

“Hey, are you alright?” Logan asked, stepping away to talk to you. Your head snapped to him, being brought out of your thoughts quite quickly.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just bored.

“HEY GUYS! LET’S DO THIS ONE!” Aiden screamed, pointing towards a boxing-style game.

“Nevermind.”

~

The entire group decided to try the machine, just for the fun of it. Ben’s score was impressive, Ashlyn’s was good and so was Tyler’s. The group cheered you on as you stood in front of the machine. You hit it with your fist as hard as you good, and ended up with a score that rivaled Ben’s.

“WOO!” Aiden cheered. He slung his arm around you and started bragging. You saw Logan smile in the corner of your eye, and you smiled back. You heard the door of the arcade click open. Barron and his goons stood at the entrance.

Logan soon noticed this as well, going from watching Aiden bury himself in tickets to sweating over the fact that Barron was here.

Let’s be clear. You hated Barron. If there wasn’t any repercussions he’d already be in a ditch somewhere because of you. You would fight him over and over again to make sure Logan would never have to deal with that bastard. And you would win every. single. fight.

You watched him exit out the door, a shy kid in a blue hat trailing behind. That kid almost reminded you of Logan. That made you more angry. Fists clenched, almost snarling at the door they just left from. Oh, Lord, you thought, Hold me back.

“…I want to at least warn him.” Logan said.

“Well, go do what you gotta do.” Tyler said, “We’ll be here to help you if you need it.”

“Are you sure you don’t want anyone to come with you?” You asked, unsure about this whole idea.

“Actually… Could you come with?”

“Of course!”

~

You opened the door and held it open for Logan, allowing him to go first. You didn’t want to speak for him—as he was getting better at standing up for himself every day. This was a step in the right direction, you just wanted to make sure Barron didn’t pull a stunt you could prevent.

“Haha, wow! That caught me off guard. I never would’ve expected to see you here, four eyes. And who’s this lovely person you got with you?” Barron said.

You clenched your fists—almost enough to make you cut through your skin—and stared straight into his soul. Logan looked nervous. About Barron? About you starting a fight where there didn’t need to be one? Logan wasn’t stupid. He saw your score at the boxing machine. He saw you training with Ashlyn’s parents. You mentioned to him once that you had martial arts experience. He had seen it first hand. If a fight started, Barron wouldn’t be the one winning. He might not even make it out alive.

“It’s been a while, pal, how’ve ya been?” Barron smiled, as if he didn’t bully the shit out of Logan every day for at least a year.

Logan ignored Barron, turning towards the kid in the blue hat. You continue to glare daggers into Barron from where you were standing. “My name’s Logan.”

“Oh… I’m Noah.”

“…Is he making you do his homework? Because you shouldn’t have to do that.”

“H-he’s not making me… He just asked for help.”

“And you felt guilty saying no, right?” The conversation Logan was having with Noah faded into the background as you watched Barron intently. You watched him get up from the trashcan and walk over to Logan.

“Who do you think you are, twerp? Stop interfering.” Barron started jabbing Logan’s head, and continued, “You’re just a useless loser whose parents didn’t even want you.”

You stepped forward, ready to axe-kick this guy to the floor and beat him to a pulp, but Logan didn’t need your help. He swatted Barron’s hand away, “I’m useless? When you’re the one that refuses to do your own work and forces others to do it for you?” Chills ran down your spine at Logan’s words. “When you so pathetically waste others’ time while they are actually working for a better life?”

He was practically shouting now, “When you have nothing to give, not even a simple thanks?! You only take and harass and look down on others! If anyone here is truly and utterly useless it’s—”

Barron grabbed Logan’s hair and pushed him away, bringing up his arm to throw a punch at Logan. Logan quickly twisted him and threw him face-first into the concrete. His hands were pinned to his back by Logan. Barron struggled to get out of Logan’s grip. The lights flickered. You panicked.

“I think it’d be wise for you to start caring.” Logan said.

This place felt like the phantom realm all of a sudden. You turned to the door that opened with more of Barron’s friends. They held him back but you were at your limit. Logan can’t get himself out of everything. Ben felt the same as you watched him come out from behind a wall and grab the red-head’s face. You performed a quick back kick on the blonde.

Full hell broke loose.

The group was fighting others, and you were taking on upwards of three people at a time. Your teacher always taught you that violence was never the answer, but you disagree. You were kicking and hitting with more precision than ever before—even better than when you were in class.

You heard a scream sounding like Ashlyn. She fell to the floor gripping her ears, headphones scattered across the pavement. You ran over to her, defending yourself from Barron’s goons as you went. You grabbed her headphones as she screamed, “CALM DOWN!”

Barron and his friends left quickly after. You gave Ashlyn her headphones back and beelined to Logan. “Are you okay? You’re not too badly hurt right? I wanted to help you more but you did amazing on your own so—”

“I’m alright, don’t worry. But, you’re bleeding.”

“…Fuck.”

#sbg x reader #sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard x reader #logan fields x reader

[jojo-schmo]

Just Admit It- Part 1

I've been playing around with possible friendship dynamics of the Beast Council for fun!! I love imagining what kind of childhood they could have in the Forgotten Land all together.

What if Carol and Sillydillo are the fun-loving extroverts? Leon is the introverted one who's been smitten by Carol for a really really long time but he's too shy about it? And Gori is the friend who is an excellent observer and will bluntly tell you what he thinks (and maybe has a tendency to get grumpy when things aren't easily going his way).

Somewhat of a prequel to this other doodle comic about Leon and Carol- everyone here is still a kid ^_^

Part 2

#I know beast pack headcanons are so wildly up to interpretation! there's a few canon personality traits and lots of space to fill in betwee #I also just love stories about a group of lifelong friends all doing their best! #so why not play around with them and see what kind of stories about love and friendship they might experience? heehee. #and not all of them are about just Leon and Carol I have other plans!! this is just one of the first ones I have :P #these are quick and very self indulgent but I hope they can still be enjoyable hehe #friend squads for the win!! #also I feel like I draw the beast council a little differently every time I try lol. I'm getting used to them okay they are all so so shape #you should see the first drawings I ever tried to do of them. they are a little rough xD #I'm starting to understand why there's not a TON of content for them. Pretty much everyone except Carol are BUILT DIFFERENT #LEONGAR. WHY is your body and head proportioned like that?! you made me make up my own rules for drawing you!! #sillydillo and your funny little snout! I learned so much studying you! and I have so much work to do with all of you adjakflja #but I guess that's the definition of developing personal art styles huh? #so I guess these funny little stories have the added benefit of getting me more comfortable with the beasts! #ANYWAY that concludes this round of Jojo's director's commentary. like and subscribe #beast pack #clawroline #leongar #sillydillo #gorimondo #beast council #Kirby and the forgotten land #Kirby series #art #caroleon #???? #sHOOT I still don't know the ship name I can't commit to one someone please tell me what it is I don't want to make one up ahh #ask me to tag it and I will happily do so sdjakfljdsla

[screwpinecaprice]

She's on a hospital bed, amnesiac after an accident and she's having a crush on this man who is apparently her husband.

@dragonuva's part on an art trade with them from last year! 🥰 It's based on the first chapter of Chiptune by Newlense.

Guys. This fanfic is my favorite FAVORITE connverse fic and I love it so much I don't care if the last update was in 2020 nor if it's never going to be continued. It's so tender and the angst whalloped my guts in the right places. 😭💕

#Yoo I can't believe I actually didn't post this. #There was a comment that described the fic as being like a dream and I agree. #connverse #Connie Maheswaran #Steven Quartz Universe #based on a fanfic #Pease ignore my own comment on the fic tho. I was so smitten by it it brought out the cheese in me. 😭😵 #There's something about the writing style that made me fall in love with it too. #Thank you for the art trade! #dragonuva #SU #Not my art #I will make my own fanart of this story. I swear. #Usually I don't mind that much if a fic is incomplete. I'm just glad I get to know and experience the story. #There IS one connverse fic that I actually did really hoped and was oh so curious to see what happened next. Last update on #that was on 2019 and it's marked ascomplete so I've just stopped hoping. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠༼⁠ ⁠•́⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠•̀⁠ ⁠༽⁠_⁠/⁠¯ It do be like that. #I do have a guess about something in Chiptune. Because something about Connie's circumstance is a little odd.

[viioledea]

“Watch your step once the earth awakens.”

#w.i.t.c.h. #cornelia hale #w.i.t.c.h. cornelia #w.i.t.c.h. comics #artists on tumblr #fanart #my art #I took so long to finish this #that I decided to use CSP brushes for rose vines and grass #just to finish this sooner #But I think I ended up experimenting with my art style enough #that now I'm more sure of the way I want my lineart and coloring styles to look #so I'll probably share my art a little more often #but don't quote me on that 😅

[cherieprincess]

we love a woman who swears to take revenge

(fay mcalistair, the dolls of new albion)

#fay mcalistair #fay considers edgar's proposal #the dolls of new albion #new albion #shaperaverse #character art #my art #i'm a little bit obsessed with how she played along but refused to just let it happen without getting her own back #god so much shaperaverse art is incoming from me y'all #you have no fucking idea #though in a different and less intensely rendered style than this cause this was kind of an experiment and it takes wayyyyy too long #<3

[marinsawakening]

Been thinking lately about the Fanfic Writing Style(TM) and how incredibly restrictive it is because any deviation from a fairly paint-by-numbers third person POV tends to be wildly alienating to the average fanfic reader, and will actively be avoided.

This is especially obvious when you look at how first person POV fics are treated; they are automatically associated with bad quality, and people will immediately turn away from a fanfic the moment they see it's written in first person. There are reasons for this; firstly, it is true that beginning writers will often use first person because it feels a little more accessible than the other options, and most beginning writers are of course not very good yet on a technical level, especially not if they are also children, which many fanfic writers are. So the association between first person and bad quality is not entirely baseless (though, y'know. definitely at least a little mean spirited, if unintentionally so). Secondly, and this is a personal sentiment but one I've seen some people echo: first person can read weird when combined with fanfic, because fanfic often does not benefit from a closer connection with the POV character. We are here to watch blorbo do thing, it can feel a little weird when it is instead I doing the thing, y'know? This is personal preference, of course; no accounting for that.

However, regardless of the reasons, kneejerk avoidance of first person POV fics is probably one of the driving factors behind the homogenization of the fanfic writing style. It's difficult to put into words to me, but especially if you read a lot of fanfic, at some point it's obvious that most of these stories are written in the exact same way, with the same sentence structure, cadence, and metaphors. The often-mocked italicized Oh, usually used in its own paragraph, usually used in a romantic context, is an example of this: a writing quirk turned universal enough specifically in fanfic to be singled out and ridiculed for its frequency.

This style isn't inherently bad, many authors pull it off very well, but it's certainly restricting. Essentially banning the usage of the first person POV alone is already severely limiting, but even just a slightly different usage of the third person POV is discouraged if everyone is writing the exact same way.

This leads to an overarching problem in fandom, namely that all characters tend to sound the same. The style of writing is the same whether writing about a jaded 40-year-old man or a peppy 12-year-old girl. A story set in 1940's France will have more or less the same writing as a story set in 2010's America. Writers do often try to add little details to their narration to distinguish different characters, and success with this varies, but is usually limited. Narration in fandom is rarely personalized to the character, and instead falls into the homogenized fandom style more than anything else.

I don't have a specific goal with this post. I'm not necessarily saying 'we need to STOP big fandom's writing style' or whatever, I don't think that's productive or feasible. I do think that we should all, as readers, be a little more open to stuff like first person POV fics or stranger prose experiments rather than skipping over or closing out of a fic as soon as we encounter them, and as authors (if you actually care about improving your writing) I'm encouraging you to take a look at the prose style used in your fanfic and see if you could diversify it because oftentimes readers do respond positively when they see it, so I guess if there's anything to take away from this post as a call to action, it's that. But mostly this is just me musing on something I've noticed in my own fanworks recently that irritates me.

#writing wise #my posts #i'm sorta trying to experiment with it but it's a little difficult and i'm struggling #i don't struggle with this in my original work is the thing. sure sometimes i'll use my Fanfic Writing Style(TM) but often i won't #it's much much less a default i just fall back on automatically the way it is in fanfic #probably because i feel like good writing is the point of original work in a way it isn't with fanfic #where the point is much more to watch blorbo do thing and therefore clarity of purpose is much more important than good prose

[ganymedesclock]

Hello! I hope your week has been kind to you. May I inquire of your thoughts about IDW Eggman written by Ian Flynn? I noticed his reference in one of your posts, and i would like to know how you feel about the direction Ian is taking the Sonic characters in in the Sonic franchise. I would also like to know what you think about Surge and Kit, the product of Dr. Starline's unethical experimentations. Mimic, the traitorous mercenary as well if you don't mind. Remind yourself to eat your meals regularly and to maintain a limber body!

I admittedly haven't gotten to sink my teeth in IDW- I'm currently following through @thankskenpenders' take on archie which I would like to finish before I start that. What I have seen is promising, but I don't consider myself educated to speak on those characters. I think Surge, Kit, and Mimic have very fun designs and seem to have a lot of potential, and I love the way the former two (and Starline himself) are nods to classic glitches.

As far as IDW Eggman, as I've said, I'm very interested in what Flynn and Stanley do with him! They're definitely a bit darker than I've always liked my take on Eggman- my formative Sonic game was Sonic Adventure 2, which featured Eggman as a protagonist in his own right, albeit a "dark" one. I've always liked the idea of him as half-honorable, and it's a balancing act to frame that with just how brutal and ruthless he can be. But I've grown to be fond of that- I think half-honorability stands out a little more when the other half is that... coldly efficient.

As I said in the post, I think it's interesting to take Eggman as someone who may have had noble intentions as a 'fixer' once but who's gone a good few strides further than that. In a warped way, he always 'helps'- but you may not appreciate his help. I think that plays well with him as a manipulator and a trickster who tends to play people against each other for his own profit and amusement- if he's always harmless or always terrifying that's a potentially fine character (there's much I like about SatAM Robotnik after all!) but it doesn't really hit me as Eggman in the same way.

Almost everything I've gleaned secondhand about the Mr. Tinker arc is fascinating to me because of that. Especially the way Sonic confronts Eggman afterwards, and makes it clear he isn't opposed to Eggman regaining his memory (Sonic is not someone who likes to take power or options away from even his worst enemies) but upset that Eggman threw away everything he had as Mr. Tinker, to which Eggman replies, almost wistfully, that that kind of life was "peaceful"- but he's got bigger fish to fry.

As I said in a previous post, at the end of the day, Eggman's meant a lot of things to a lot of people, and while I'll always have my own takes on the Sonic cast, the biggest thing I can hope for is that new versions of the story will experiment further. That willingness to try new things boldly is, in my opinion, one of the things that's kept the Sonic franchise as youthfully full of vitality as it is. I can't really find it in my heart to hate any version of Eggman- they've all got something going for them, from the silly to the horrifying to the aforementioned half-honorable to the completely vile.

#Sonic the Hedgehog #like whether or not you like SatAM Robotnik you absolutely have to give the man points for /style/ #Jim Cummings' performance and the visual framing and the vast geigeresque horror of robotropolis #modern-era gameverse Eggman is my formative bread and butter- but I'll certainly spread the other takes on it like jam #this is admittedly why I'm so fond of building my own AU- and reading others' #there's just so many fun bits from different takes of the same character and it's tempting to treat it like a salad bar #and I guess my appreciation of that leads to that Eggman in my AU is a very complicated and contradictory guy! #even making him a cyborg the way I did- I wanted to emphasize that he's tricky and complex #SA2 positions Eggman as a direct rival to Tails which is fun when Tails is kind of a box-of-tricks 'fixer' type #trying to learn and manage a little bit of everything to prove how important and special he is to other people #it gives an impression that Eggman is actually the same way- age and experience have just given him a much bigger toolbox

[galaxseacreature]

I have been playing Pentiment lately and the only downside is that I constantly just want to be playing Pentiment instead

#not to be a just saw their second movie person but legitimately this tickles my brain in a similar way to disco elysium #i truly don't have time to play tonight but i'm probably about halfway through act 2? maybe a little more? #it's so good #i ended act 1 doing a privately awful thing with full awareness and hardly anyone talks about it and when they do they say thank you #at this point although i hope for a certain amount of closure i have NO idea how much to actually expect and i'm fully ok with that #but the tragedy of it all! the hope! the.....it's so......i just.........we live in a society #also i love the art style i love the journal i love all the little creatures i love the text #such a rich experience #arghaahghhhh i just thought of a part i hit recently that i'm insane about #everyone should play pentiment

[xluxsolarisx]

clawing at the edge of my enclosure at you..,, auuaAA auuaaghrvf asuugh aahbgsffdhnrd. you know how it is

raps at the glass of your enclosure despite warning signs saying not to because i want to see what will happen. because i am fundamentally curious. anyway yeah i do know how it is

#hiii muck hope you're having a good day or whatever time it is in australia ^^ #me i'm doing pretty good :3 mostly today i just finished up some schoolwork and online shopped a little bit #i did NOT buy anything because dear GOD lolita fashion is so expensive... #it's pretty and goth and there are bows and bats and stuff but at what cost? #actually i know the cost. 160 usd that's the fucking cost. for a JUMPER SKIRT. #i know it's because the materials are high quality and there's a lot of lace and stuff but have you considered. i don't wanna pay that much #and sureee i could just buy the 40 dollar ones off amazon or whatever. #if i didn't care about it fitting weird and being scratchy and just a bad experience in general #there's a word in the lolita circle called “ita” and basically it means you WANNA be lolita #but you're not because you can't really get the clothes/you're breaking a lot of rules for the style and....yeah that's me lol #c'est la vie. guess i'll have to make do with the black overall dress i picked up from hot topic and my 3 year old striped faux turtleneck #fashion i love you so much but you do not love me back. that's okay though i'll still love you all the same #sorry you sent me a silly little ask and i rambled about clothes. sorry ^^ #fortunes told (asks)

[chaeul]

.

#rewatching ep5 make out scene for the eleventythousandth time #y'know...just... #casually losing my mind over how compatible their kissing styles are #either they practiced a lot during the workshop #or they just did that pretty much instantly #I am overwhelmed thinking about either of those options #normal thoughts on a friday night #personal #Love In The Air #LITA #PhayuRain #Noeul Nuttarat #Boss Chaikamon #like... if they told the truth about improvising this that means it wasn't choreographed... #... and still there was not one awkward moment despite how long the scene is #and I don't think there's any cuts #they were perfectly in tune with each other #I know from experience that it can take a little while to adapt to kissing a new partner so..... #I'm just...having lots of feelings about Boss and Noeul #completely non-delulu for once #I just think it's wild

[sysig]

Things discovered: Charm is stupid amounts of fun to draw in the WOY style (Patreon)

Bonus:

Spider bites are already round and soft-shaped!

#Doodles #Villainsona #Just Desserts #So here's a fact for funsies: I gave this style a go once and then set it down for a couple days 'cause I thought it didn't work for Charm #But I simply hadn't experimented enough yet! What a fool I was! #The first four - well really three but the eyes-touching was a later attempt lol - kinda put me off my attempt #But not completely :3c ♪ #It was actually going back and looking at Princess Demurra's eyes that were the final piece of the puzzle #The eye shape for sure but mostly the fact that she has those big blue irises as well as big pupils - that's it that's what I needed lol #Like Charm's cute with just the large pupils but that extra circle makes all the difference in actually wanting to keep drawing her lol #And I super do! This style is like?? Shockingly perfect for her I super didn't expect it #Reminds me a lot of that time I ran her through the Lalaloopsy filter haha just missing the button eyes similar proportions #I based her body quite a lot on the Fleas with I guess? Binglebop legs?? haha just a tiny little lad! #She's very proportionally fun because she's basically a parallelogram with a big head and nub arms lol ♪ #I eventually opted to drop her fingers altogether but I don't mind if they show up every once in a while lol #I also think candy people would fit the WOY aesthetic fairly well :D I especially like how her swirls turned out haha very defined shapes #I also gave her fluffy hair 'cause while I very much enjoy the rounded fluff shapes I'm not very good at them yet :') Sylvia in point lol #It's only particularly obvious in her TVAU form! Her classic hair shape is very fitting! Haha #Too bad this opened the floodgates to more TVAU ideas in that case hehehe ♪ #She looks hecka-cute however :) #Oh and Spider bites of course! I haven't drawn Spider Bites in this style but hhrnn it's tempting!

[jackgoodfellow]

MORE PROGRESS SHOTS BABYYYYY

[WIP]

#these are out of order #drawfee #Drawtectives #truebeans #Jancy true #day 4 of my musculature and nervous system being totally fucked but today was a lot better #wip #i can't decide exactly what i want joe to say in each panel #look at that fucking nose I'm so proud of that dang nose #suggestions for dialogue are welcome but i cannot guarantee I'll use it i will just be happy to hear it lol #just more fuel for this gay little fire #i fucking freehanded all these hands! i have been practicing a LOT these past couple years #and i still need to be faster but i have come so far and that rules #like i am actually a good enough artist now that it is at the level i need it to be for a graphic novel! fucking amazing! #the catch is that it will take me 30 years to complete so. yeah i gotta gO FAST #the only thing for it is practice and study but luckily I'm gay and autistic so that's gonna happen anyway #the learning goal of this comic is experimenting with simplified color schemes and a simplified pencil art style #except I totally got carried away and the art style is actually way more detailed than if I had just used a normal pen tool #it is a super satisfying way to draw though so it's a win-win #so excited to be done house sitting at the end of the week and then never leave my apartment to go on a trip ever again #or at least not for a hot minute #I worked really hard to set up my desk at home and I have never before so longed for the cold comforting glow of my huion tablet

[memoryoflife]

over the past year or so, i've begun to take solace in the fact that even though there are aspects of my writing i'm not as good at, i do have other things i excel in.

and i dunno, it's easier to look back on my writing that way. yeah, i'm not the most descriptive (people who can weave such vivid metaphors and descriptions into their writing, i am in awe and envy of you) but i've caused enough people to scream-cry at me to think that i'm probably at least semi-okay at the introspection-emotions thing. which is neat :>

#ell shut up #ramblings ramblings thinking about writing again #i love seeing different people's styles #it's like art but it's more subtle because you have to really dig into the paragraphs of text #as opposed to seeing and picking out the differences at a glance with visual art #idk. i just like writing. i like seeing people write. i like seeing different experiences w it #i'm hoping i can polish my writing more as i go into uni in a month or so #posting something later that's why ive got this on my mind #also- i think i'm a fast writer? #spent a little less than 2h cranking out over 3k words nonstop yesterday #and all my longfics too #when i get into the groove i can spit out whatever hits my head nonstop

[noxtivagus]

WHO SHE

#tag later #whenever i look at a mirror #i find myself always staring at least for a little while #help is that rlly me?? she's so pretty 😭😭 #help... genshin kin uquiz + even my friends calling me out for having some impostor syndrome 😨💀 #sometimes i find it hard sometimes to be more open about genuinely loving myself bcs some ppl have taken it to be arrogance in the past </3 #it's in the past though and i don't hold grudges <3 #she tho #if i was my own friend #i cld really see myself falling in love w her #i'm not perfect and i definitely still have my insecurities but i still love myself bcs at least i'm me #i'm testing out some fits rn for fun #typically (and especially in the past) i let my parents decide what to get for me bcs i like simple things anyways and i'm not too picky #i'm grateful for everything! #i'm glad i've been experimenting and venturing out more these days #aaaa having somewhat short hair just a little above my shoulders brings me back to old kid me :D #these glasses are so cute too >< #... my style lowkey gives me nerd/doctor vibes 🥴 #tbf i am a science kid tho so yes idm ✨ i embrace my weirdness (/pos) with pride #all i need now to complete the look i want is #different colors + a nicer coat + maybe a cute hat of sorts #like the one my ffxiv wol has in-game rn ! >:0

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[astudyintheburningofhearts]

Everyone needs to shut the fuck up because the new Daylight video just dropped and I AM SCREAMING.

#i'm sorry about the language #BUT IT IS SO GOOD #LIKE #ok i'm a zarry shipper #so the tightrope thing is a MAJOR thing for me #BUT ALSO #HARRY STYLES LOOKING LIKE A PRINCE AND RIDING A HORSE #LITERALLY FULFILLS 12 TO 13 YEAR OLD ME'S DREAMS #UGH HE'S SO PRETTY #and the little #crying face when the clown doesn't let him pass #is so !!!!!!!!!!!! #but also i relate to that because i had a similar experience today- i was trying to get to class and this girl i don't like all too much an #she got in my way. #and i was like “please :(” and then she let me go #just a friend thing #but we're more acquaintances #ok now for the actual tags lmao #harry styles #harry's house #daylight #song #music video #zarry