#I'm fucking broke and trying my best | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glknight · 10 months

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I am way too broke for my Fantasy Horror setting to get art.

I got Viking Elves.

I got living statue people.

I got Harpy Eagle x Orangutan hybrid birds.

I've got little birds as loud as a loudspeaker.

I got living outlines of people filled with the spots you see when you're blinded by the sun.

I've got Fashionista Spider People.

I've got living shadows that were formerly psychopathic killers.

I've got intense body horror.

I've got Muscular Dommy Mommy Demon Generals.

I've got Non-Binary Crime Lords.

I've got a thing made of mouths and hands and blood (HEAVY SPOILERS for Book 02 involving that reveal).

I've got Cenobite looking corrupted Angels in a cocoon of reality who's mere presence causes madness.

I've got people who have turned themselves into living Hands Of Glory.

I've got SO MANY CHARACTERS, MONSTERS AND ANIMALS I've yet to reveal. And I'm trying to give that to you guys while surviving on $150 a month.

And yet here I am, trying to write the story that ties everything together so I can make an ILLUSTRATED NOVEL SERIES out of the whole thing. And then make a TTRPG set after the story's end.

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josephsaturn · 9 months

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Hit the SLAY button.

Got inspired by a few peoples’ drawings of AFO in a dress, so I drew the guy

I don't like his face, but I personally like how i rendered the dress

dress:

Costume Gallery | William & Mary (wm.edu)

#why can i only make & post art at 1 in the morning smfh #broke the @ cuz I don't know if they like being tagged #Why did I make the dress sluttier on afo? idk but i spent like 3 hours on the fur stuff so i'm not changing it #i'm not the best at rendering but I wanted to try #hope mobile doesn't destroy the colors like it does every fucking time #boku no academia #my hero academia #all for one #yoichi shigaraki #tomura shiragaki #midoriya izuku #kyudai garaki #FUCK I DIDNT NOTICE WHERE THIS DRESS CAME FROM #ITS THE FUCKING GLENN CLOSE CRUELLA DE VIL DRESS FROM 101 DALMATIANS #I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABOUT HOW CRUELLA-ESQUE THIS DRESS WAS WHILE FINISHING THIS TODAY #I DIDNT THINK I'D BE RIGHT THO

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kittlyns · 11 days

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I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day

#what made it worse was the client I spent most of my day with was a brand new client. and she booked super last minute #so I wasnt mentally prepared for doing a 5 hour color. and her natural hair was already pretty light so I had to foil foil foil. go back.#pull out first couple foils. foil foil foil. go back. pull out the next few.#over and over and over.#and her hair was so fucking long. and so fucking thick.#and after the first hour she wouldn't talk. like I like my silence so I don't fight it much #but every now and then I would try to engage with her. I'd say something and she would straight up ignore me. no acknowledgment.#which makes me feel anxious cuz it's like jesus... does she hate me?? did I piss her off somehow?#even when I finished her hair (it looked fucking amazing no lie. one of my best highlights yet.) she had next to no reaction to it #she was like 'it looks fine. I mean good. it's good.' completely deadpan #I laughed it off and was like yeah it's been a long day girl! but it looks amazinggg on you!!#no response. deep inhale. alright.#whatever tho.#when I did finally get off work I stopped @ bojangles cuz I was lightheaded and hadn't eaten since morning #and when I tell you I almost broke down into tears cuz there were so many people crowding the goddamn pickup area.#and so many bizarre conversations going on. genuinely felt like I was in some form of hell #like my feet hurt. my back hurts. I'm tired. I didn't get the validation I like to have over a 5 hour transformative color.#I'm hungry and there are two elderly women blocking the pickup counter. one is hard of hearing so she keeps yelling HUH???#and the other only speaks in soft baby whispers. that goes as well as you can imagine.#there's a man behind me grilling an employee abt whether or not he goes to church. he starts witnessing to him #and the employee says 'I've never thought about it like that before' no less than 4 times.#there's a child in front of me playing tiktoks @ full volume. and this is all happening simultaneously.#I really considered just leaving without my food but I knew I needed to eat and didnt have anything at home so I stuck it out #was it worth it? no. bojangles honestly sucks these days but what's a girl gonna do.#got home and tried to pass out but nope. tossed and turned all night.#put on hot n cold patches to try to soothe the pain a little. didn't work cuz one pain would be eased a bit and another pain would take over #blahhhhhh #and now. I get to do it all over again! yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

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vilelittlecritter · 1 year

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Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse #like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont #ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean #i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun #lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly #oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well #the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that #oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour #as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little #so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends!#ha ha. this is agony.#i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone #which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one #also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse #i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy #its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking #yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much #im also just really snappy sometimes #I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine #they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them #i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents #they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them #sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone #i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it #sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay #I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor #again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon #if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed #personal rambles #vent tag

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arrowpunk · 8 months

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I want all of my friends to know that I love y'all so so much and I'm sorry I've been so bad at responding to DMs and stuff these past few weeks, I do not think that is going to improve for at least another few weeks because I am just so so busy and everything is so so so much and I am doing my best and I love all of you people in my phone and I will do my best to actually Talk to you all more and better in a few weeks when everything has slowed the fuck down and I'm no longer stressed to the point that it feels like my brain is leaking out of my ears.

#ramblings of an arrow #wedding on saturday #roadtripping and moving 1500 miles in a car prone to breaking down in 2 weeks #in the middle of work tests for a job I'm trying to apply for #don't know if I'm gonna get that job or if I'm wasting my time on these work tests #need to get a job b/c I spent over $3000 getting my car repaired last week #which WIPED out my savings that I spent the past few years trying to build up #right before getting married and moving me and my wife TO THE OTHER END OF THE COUNTRY #I'm sure everything will work itself out and be totally fine in the end #im sorry I swear I'm not trying to ignore anyone #everything is just so much right now and I'm holding it together as best I can #I keep getting mood whiplash from this job application/interview process #literally if I get this job I know that will fix all of my stress #because it's mostly financial stress #wedding i can handle #moving I can handle #it's being broke af and feeling responsible for me and my wife's wellbeing while not being able to financially provide for her #that fucks me up #ANYWAYS #im sure it'll all be fine #I just cannot exactly control my brain's stress response #I replayed all of dishonored the first one and got ghost and clean hands #because videogames help me cope with intense stress lol....#but now I've finished dishonored and dishonored 2 and hades and I'm just sitting here like aaaaaa #need new viddy game #brain wants so so bad to play BG3 #I should probably just open one of the unplayed games I ACTUALLY OWN #maybe I'll see if Batty wants to watch me play Later Alligator #or if there's another game of mine she'd prefer I play #I don't know

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aberooski · 2 months

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I'm seriously hanging on by a thread right now I might just go drop dead 😭

#work has just been really overwhelming today I'm going to crack #I hate people #I almost broke down in front of the usher manager today because our radio died while we were falling behind becaus3 #one of the theatres got out slightly late and set us back for like 45 minutes because everything was gettinf out one on top of the other #on complete opposite ends of the theater #amd it's not a small building guys #and I was already angry because there was a huge spill in a theater earlier I had to get a mop for and it was a pain in the ass #then we started falling behind and when we fall behind I get really stressed so I jad to ask the usher manager for help to catch up when we #were switching radios and even with his help we didn't catch back up until JUST NOW because we're on a 30 minute set break #and I've jusy been stressing and running around the theater and I want to go home and cry and drop dead #I'm so hot and tired and drained amd my legs have been sore for DAYS and this is NOT helping and I hate it here and I qant a real job #like I'm fucking 24 years old this shouldn't be the best I can do but trying to find anything else to get out of here has been IMPOSSIBLE #and I just feel so hopeless and helpless and trapped and miserable #I'm so angry and sad and tired and in pain and miserable all the time now #and it's awful and I hate it I don't wanna be that wah anymlre #I can't even type oh my god #I'm dying #abby's having a crisis

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lord-squiggletits · 10 months

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I think one of my least favorite takes on Optimus annexing Earth is the surprisingly common opinion "he should've just left Earth alone and minded his own business because they didn't ask for help," not because it doesn't have truth in it but because it's a massive oversimplification of the whole situation and seems to pretend that Optimus annexing Earth was just completely stupid and had no reasoning whatsoever.

Like, it just bothers me when people talk about it as if Optimus leaving Earth alone would've been the not-bad-guy thing to do despite the fact that the Decepticons were literally about to try colonizing Earth again under the command of a guy who was literally from the Golden Age generation that made colonizing and genociding organics popular, Galvatron. I mean Galvatron was literally there saying "so when are we going to kill these fleshlings" and even being a Functionist asshole to Soundwave's cassettes. The last time the Decepticons invaded Earth in All Hail Megatron they killed literally a billion human beings. Are there seriously people in this fandom that are out there believing with their whole ass that "Optimus should've just ignored the openly genocidal Decepticons returning to a place they had already tried to colonize just a few years ago because it's none of his business and the humans can handle themselves" like what.

#squiggposting #and this isn't even getting into the fact that like there was that one titan buried under earth's surface #or the enigma of combination being there #are we not going to talk about how bad of an idea it is for cybertronian technology to just be left in the hands of other civilizations #with no supervision or input from cybertron whatsoever #there was an entire fucking tyrest accord made specifically to ban cybertronians from sharing their tech with other races #which megatron broke btw when he spread mind controlling guns across earth specifically to cause chaos #like i'm not saying that the sentiment of 'they didn't ask for help to be forced upon them' isn't valid #but i feel like saying 'lol optimus should've just not gotten involved' is incredibly naive at best and stupid at worst #ppl will be like 'noooo idw op is evil because he annexed earth he's not a real OP he's shittily written'#bro optimus was following one of his most core personality traits which is trying to protect innocent lives #from the imperialistic factions of his own species. the fuck do you people mean that idw op sucks #is it bc one of his positive character traits was turned into a double edged sword that also makes him flawed and make mistakes #and you just wanted OP to be your unproblematic g1 daddy who never does anything wrong?#i need to do a reread of barber's side of phase 2 to cement my opinion and remember the exact sequence of events #but mfs act as if optimus doing that had no reasons behind it whatsoever and as if he had any good choices in that scenario #(then there is the sub faction of idw op haters who kiss idw megs' ass simultaneously but that's a rant for another day lol)#mostly what gets me isn't the fact that people don't like optimus' decision #but the fact that so many ppl completely disregard and refuse to consider the context around that decision #and they just go 'oh he just sucks' as if that's the end of the story lol

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cinna-bunnie · 1 year

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bleh

#having a bad morning tbhhhh #i envy the ppl who grew up here :| it's so much easier to make friends when u went to school w ppl and grew up with them #i have been here since 2016 and was just trying to get stability the first 3 years financially/housing-wise.#and when i was Finally ready to start making friends the pandemic happened.#the closest thing I've had to friends were made thru my ex and when we broke up they ghosted me.#to this day i have not made a single genuine friend and i can't articulate how hurtful that is to think about.#and i get excited when i might have a new friend but do the audhd balancing act where i tone myself down so i don't scare them away #but then idk. maybe i just come off as uninteresting or indifferent. idk what the perception of me is bc no one ever tells me anything lol.#i just get ghosted a lot 😭 it's Literally so much easier to find ppl to fuck than it is to find friends. idk why this is so hard but it's #frustrating. everyone has lukewarm interest in me at best and i have so much to offer when I've opened up to someone.#and i can't rly talk w ppl about how I'm feeling. and i can't do anything but keep trying over and over or else i WILL fr have no friends.#it's just. like. I'm not a normal person w normal circumstances and interacting w people who already have a ton of friends and stuff #going on is hard. there's like this burning desire for companionship in u as the person NEEDING it that no one else has #bc they already have it yk? ur just kind of a footnote on everyone's day/week. u don't have that kind of relationship where #u can Just Go Over or just have ppl over. ppl can hang like once a month maybe. i hate it here but also don't want to leave :|#everything is great except trying to make friends. idk i just wanted to vent lol I'm done ranting and might just delete #but this feeling wells up inside me and some days is so hard to ignore 😭#'i have been here since 2016 and don't have a single genuine Friend' what the fuck 😭😭#ik that wfh doesn't Help but i wouldn't be able to get anything done in person in my position lol. plus it's less about where ppl are #and more about how relationships (dont) develop past a certain point.#i have someone I've been talking with probs longest out of everyone so far and we're gonna hang this weekend #but I'm also perpetually afraid I'm gonna scare them away or something and be back at square 1 😭#and idk im afraid that might translate into seeming shy or something and I'd hate for them to lose interest anyways ._.#but idk how much of that is valid vs my brain just being mean to me and paranoid over my other experiences.#anyways... yea thnx for reading if u did. i feel crazy 😮‍💨

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downtherabbitholewithlucy · 1 year

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Wes on vocals performing “Pollution” and “I’m Broke” in Osaka, Japan in 4/3/2018

credit: makoto_12_21 on youtube

#bby boy trying his absolute fucking best to rap out each bar and keep up with the flow f each rhyme #AND HE KILLED THAT SHIT #his performance energy is unmatched #proud of him. and good on fred for helping out his bandmate on some of the lyrics #and his little nasally THANK YOU at the end was so adorable #I like seeing him perform songs other than my way that involve more rapping than just t singing. it's fun to see him make it his own style #i still love when he sings my way trust me. but's it's nice to see him tackle other tracks that he normally doesn't perform on stage #Wes Borland #Limp Bizkit #nu-metal #down the rabbit hole #Song: Pollution #Song: I'm Broke #Album: Three Dollar Bill Ya'll$#Album: Significant Other #lucy the rabbit's video edits

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fstbmp-a · 1 year

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So sorry I didn't do that much today. It's been.. a wild ride. Sooort of vent in the tags? I suppose.

#My Kingdom ;; OOC #negative //#vent //#irl //#oh i loooooooove having five guinea pigs surprise dropped at my house i love love love it #and on top of that earlier the cats somehow managed to turn the stove on which is bad on it's own #but they brought a fucking cat toy up there while they were at it #and someway somehow that!! broke the controls for the damn thing!#so both the stove and oven don't work right so i'm without Any Means of heating up food now #and just. AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! losing my absolute fucking mind i cannot breathe without something breaking #and i do my best to just ignore it but Fucking Stars Above it only goes so far #every time i start to breathe something else fucks up severely #anyways ignore me i'm just. i'm going to try and do stuff but i can't make promises because #yeah no i'm in Such A Bad Mood and headspace over all #hope everyone else has a better day than i have

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heckling-hydrena · 2 years

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I used to wonder why I came off so much more outgoing and enetgetic online than I do irl because I never related to those "talking online makes me more confident!" stories and I came to the conclusion that it's because I only post when I have something to say. Like you guys only really see the side of me that just came up with a good joke or wants to complain about something or just remembered a fun story to share. Meanwhile irl 80% of the time I just sit around like this -> 😐 (thinking about blorbos and ocs)

#my best friend is just as in their own head as I am and I am convinced that the only way we managed to become friends is because #they were almost late for the first day of high school and I was like the only bitch with no one sitting next to me #ALSO we agree that the ice broke a couple days in when I made a penis joke in class and we spent like 15 min trying not to laugh #because the teacher was like. actually fucking unbearable. we really should have reported her or smth #anyways I'm only mentioning that because I will forever and always be proud of that moment. ur looking at the king of comedy #not fr #personal

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noxtivagus · 1 year

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JUST SAW THIS NOW AAAA MY FAVS 🥺🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #[ octopath. ]#i love them !!!!#gna. try. to do. a lot. today. hdfalksdjfsd #guys i love them so much though temenos n throné r my favs #sorry. for the tags. i'm. not part of the semestral honor awardees bcs my grade in filipino was just barely out of the cut #sorry it just. hurts. i cried a lot about it in november it made me really numb n i isolated so much n a lot kinda broke for me then #it's weird yk haha i've always been a part of these ppl #n my grades in ever other subject is just but filipino just.#it hurts. it hurts so much #i mean my average is yk still the best grade there is but #stupid school n it having this awarding system of only semestral awardee if each qtr tou have the highest grade #bro i had a full identity crisis n #i just. don't want to think abt it #i don't want to think abt it at all haha this is one of my biggest regrets #but what i regret more is how i just can't be kind to myself abt it #but it's just so. disappointing yk?#i used to be one of the top in exams. tbf that'd be for every subject that's not in filipino #n i'm not bad at filipino but it's just my weakest point compared to stuff like english or maths n sciences n wtvr the fuck #it hurts. this #i'm sorry it hurts even more than i'm even hurt by it but i just want to move on get it out of my head but it just hurts so much #i was gna rant abt it last night but apollo n i ended up talking abt stuff n i went to sleep without it being the first thought on my mind #this hurts bcs it's just one fucking subject bringing me down #but my worth isn't defined by this. i know that i know so much more. but. what if i'm not? what if #goddamn bcs growing up acads was rlly. yk. to me. i wrote n played piano as my hobbies n even i liked some sports honestly but #i rmb thinking then how much it hurt how. yk back then i thought acads was what i was best at. but i. was. inferior. even to #one of my old best friends. tbf she's like rlly rlly smart n she's my third cousin too actually but yh #i know that i know better n i'm above this pain but.. it still hurts n i just curse my humanity #SORRY I'M FINE JUST TIRED RN. yk i'm just.. happy at least that. i'm moving past my disappointment yeah? striving to do better.#n i am. i'm taking care of myself better n that's what matters most to me. still it hurts but i'm more than it yk

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shattered-glass-system · 2 years

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System be like: nah.

Hey Toxic, I'm broken. Please don't dissapear out of my life. I can't have a loving and healthy relationship. I crave toxicity and violence. I can't feel loved when things are okay.

#I'm playing the villlain baby. just like you wanted #min speaks #my not-boyfriend almost broke up with me yesterday #and I'm too broken to not beg him to stay #he posted sum fucked up shit as well. things that got yuri very worried #and I went like: I'm more worried about this post that reminds me of Lisa Rowe #no I didn't wanted you to play the villain #I'm just generally fucked up. similiar to you. just in completely different ways.#i mean... i did check our signs right in the beginning. we're not compatible.#but in this case it might be the bpd vs the sociopath thing #it's not even 'slight traits'. this is full blown on sociopathy #and I'm here like... that's fine. I've got a gaslight/stockholm kink in an unhealthy way anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️#oh btw. my scars hurt terrible. it's crazy... I'm trying my best to keep it moist #but I think it hates me

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dbphantom · 2 years

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